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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96696842014-11-23T07:40:37.922-08:00Nectar of LifeKnowledge and wisdom are two separate things. Wisdom is gained through years of experience when one keeps an open mind and an attitude to learn. I want to share the pearls of wisdom I have gained. Be here to gain Health, Happiness and peace.Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-75478511237909965272014-11-23T06:50:00.002-08:002014-11-23T06:50:55.137-08:00Reiki spreading smiles

She came to learn Reiki because her brother- in- law told her it will make a difference to her life. She was depressed, for lack of love and attention from the husband. She was stressed, as her daughter was not studying in spite of being an intelligent child, and also due to the fact that in her joint family, nobody lent her a helping hand to manage the household chores. <o:p></o:p>

Though she was doing acupressure for many clients, nobody ever paid her and she was too meek to mention anything about the need of exchange of energy. After finishing the Reiki training, I asked her to teach me some acupressure points and I gave her a fee, 'This is your first payment for acupressure', and she beamed. I felt so nice to watch her smile.<o:p></o:p>

After a week, she called me up. She was laughing all the way through the conversation. "You won't believe it, Reiki is doing wonders for me. My daughter now studies herself, without me nagging her. I am full of energy to manage the house work. I don't know how, but Reiki is working. And you know what? Clients who come for acupressure are now asking me how much to pay."<o:p></o:p>

Her words made my day, and my heart sang, 'Thank you Reiki' <o:p></o:p>

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-24124719080970797092014-11-20T06:04:00.001-08:002014-11-20T07:30:05.711-08:00Acupressure can do wonders

A 36 year old lady came to learn Reiki from me. She is into acupressure therapy and has helped many people get rid of their physical problems. She heard about Reiki and thought it will complement her acupressure therapy.

It was an interesting story how she tumbled upon acupressure. At the age of 25 she was diagnosed with hyper thyroids and the doctor put her on allopathic medication. With time the dosage kept on increasing till it reached 150 mgs. She had three kids to look after, apart from all the house work. As a side effect of the medication, she started losing memory, she was tired all the time and she lost the grip of her fingers. While picking up vessels in the kitchen, the vessels used to slip from her fingers and fall down. She was going through hell.

Meanwhile she developed back pain and was advised surgery.

One day her parents came to see her and her mother was devastated. They went back and on another morning they took her forcibly to the Brahmakumari center where an acupressure therapist was visiting that day. She received a session on acupressure therapy, and to her relief and astonishment she was relieved of her problems to a great extent. She was called again in the same evening for a second session, to which she obviously went.

That kindled her interest in acupressure and she followed her heart's calling. Now she is off the allopathic medicines, her memory is back to normal and she can perform her house hold duties well. And she didn't have to undergo the surgery for back pain, which was also relieved through acupressure therapy.

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-70228565407539463972013-04-14T00:11:00.001-07:002014-09-02T02:04:20.981-07:00Flower thieves of Belgaum.

<o:p> </o:p>The flower thieves of <st1:city style="font-family: Arial; text-align: left;" w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Belgaum</st1:place></st1:city> are not qualified thieves, but ordinary house wives. They will take a walk around the houses that have flowering plants, just before the sunrise of soon after, plucking flowers from other's gardens. They will lean against the walls, lower the branches and take the flowers. They will even open the gates, go inside the house and pluck flowers. If by chance the neighbors question, they are made to keep quiet by the retort, "Is it your house? What right do you have to object?'

It is really sad to see that they will not only pluck the flowers, but also the buds, that too, very tender ones! They can be so hard hearted that they may not leave any flowers for the lady of the house. <o:p></o:p>

On the road divider in front of our clinic, we got some flowering plants maintained by a gardener. The watering is done from our clinic. We had a dream of looking at the flowers from the clinic windows. But the local flower thieves will not leave even buds on the plants. Many times, on our way to yoga class early morning, we will encounter these ladies plucking flowers and buds. When I try to stop them, they will say,' It is for the Gods. We do puja with them", as if they are doing a great service to the humanity!

When I reply, "God won't accept flowers got by stealing. You have to grow plants in your house and offer them." If I thought that those words would make a dent on their conscience, it was my mistake. <o:p></o:p>

Next time I tried a different approach. I asked the lady, "Are you doing anything for these plants? Do you water them? We are maintaining these plants and watering them. Let every body have the joy of seeing these flowers."<o:p></o:p>

The lady was quick with her response, "But the plants are on the road, this is public property. So I will pluck them."<o:p></o:p>

Aha! Look at her defiance. I responded, "These street lights are also on the road. Take away the light bulbs to your house, they are public property." She immediately left, to come back later when I was gone. <o:p></o:p>

I have stayed in different parts of <st1:country-region w:st="on">India</st1:country-region>, but this flower theft is most rampant in <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Belgaum</st1:place></st1:city>. Established flower thieves will always have plastic bags with them to collect the flowers. Novices will keep the flowers in their sari pallu. Once in a while you can see some old men also doing the theft. <o:p></o:p>

I have only one mode of action, fold my hands and pray to God, to instill some civic sense in my fellow country women.<o:p></o:p>

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-47368229455236830332014-08-15T06:03:00.000-07:002014-08-15T06:26:20.485-07:00'Oxford - 8 centuries of learning' - Alive , May 2001

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-69485765565926809422014-08-05T00:09:00.002-07:002014-08-05T00:09:58.130-07:00Bumps and road rumblers of Karnataka

I have travelled quite a bit in India and can safely say that maximum bumps and road rumblers are found in Karnataka. They are provided at such short distances that I doubt some orthopedicians and dentists have close relations who make these. Many youngsters come with fractured teeth to the dentists for repair and old persons undergo fractures on fall due to bumps and rumblers.

Speed bumps and speed humps are among many types of "traffic calming" measures. Speed bumps are applications, usually asphalt, that are from two to six inches high and one to three feet from front to back. Speed humps are usually less than four inches high but 10 to 12 feet from front to back. They have to be marked with white paint so that it is visible from a distance and one can reduce the speed of the vehicle. I have reasons to suspect that the people of Karnataka are sadists because it is very very rare to see them demarcated or to find boards telling there is 'Bump Ahead.'

Recently we had to drive from Belgaum to Raichur, and you can't even imagine the number of bumps and rumblers on the State Highway. When we encountered one bump I started counting and by the time I reached 'twenty' there was the next bump on the road, many times. The rumblers, there were even six of them together at many places!

I was pitying the bus drivers who ply this route on everyday basis. No wonder many drivers suffer from bad back ache! When I saw the loaded trucks going over the rumblers, I was really praying to God! How much of fuel wastage and wear of the vehicles this must be causing?
Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-9207317827000571582014-06-29T05:17:00.003-07:002014-06-29T05:17:32.299-07:00Stinking 'God's own country'

I used to take pride in being a Keralite. We were known for our cleanliness. During our travel from <st1:city w:st="on">Lucknow</st1:city> to Kerala, when the train passed through my home state in the early morning, I used to show proudly to my husband the scene of ladies brooming the front yard of houses. It was the habit of many people to clean their houses, inside and outside, take bath and then enter the kitchen.

A normal scene in Kerala tody is uncollected garbage- pileup and stinking waste across both sides of national highways. Its rivers, tiny water canals and all other natural beauty, foundation of its growing tourism industry are getting affected as lack of waste management system in the State is causing havoc to normal public life.

The common man brings the house hold waste and dumps it on road side. The corporation workers also dump waste on the road side and set fire to it. There are all sorts of things in the waste, including plastic, so the fumes are dangerous, affecting children more than the adults.

It is sad to see that there is a lack of proper Waste Management system in place in a state with 100% literacy. In several places locals are up in arm against prevalent practice of dumping and landfill Contractors who transport garbage to dump in the interior village dumping sites or near forests or water bodies often face severe resistance from locals and environmental activists.

Unofficial estimates indicate that Kerala generates 6000 ton of waste every day. However, local issues and sentiments have prevented even the collection of solid waste. The end result is that the stunning Kerala landscape has been converted into a stinking, garbage strewn one.

Ref:

http://www.universalecoservices.com/wastemanagement_in_kerala.cfm

Watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxvZX2JHDos

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-88645438107974669342014-06-29T04:37:00.002-07:002014-06-29T04:40:04.380-07:00Is dishonesty our National character?

The road we go through daily was so full of potholes. After months, one day we saw a road roller, and we thought that repair was imminent. But they were just patched up with small stones and sand. It is anybody's guess how long it is going to last, with our rainy season just starting, which will last for four more months!

All the street lamps won't be lit, and to the complaints, the answer is 'No money". When there are discussions on such matters, always the final fault comes to the politicians. Yesterday I heard on the TV news that 'Situations will improve only when honest people come into politics'.

That set my mind into a thinking groove. It was searching for honest people around, from the lower class to the upper class. It is so difficult to get workers here, because they can have an ok life with the availability of Rs.1/kg rice. The families manage to have multiple ration cards (that brings in middle class citizens taking bribe to issue multiple ration cards). So they have enough rice to eat and also, sell it back at higher rate and earn some money.

There are middle aged class IV employees in private institutions, who manage to get old age pension from the government, by giving wrong age certificates (again, who issues the certificate? What's in it for him?)

Many people don't think twice before stealing flowers and curry leaves from other houses. More daring ones will come with gunny bags, jump inside the house compound when nobody is there in the house and fill these bags with mangoes plucked from the tree in the back yard, leaving nothing for the house holder, and they are proud of their achievement!

The informer (to the robbers) for the theft in a house was a worker from a mutt ( religious organization)! And today I see a news item, "The woman who has made the allegations started to work as a cook there and is originally from Hubli. After lunch the Godman asked her to keep a plate in his room and when she entered he allegedly locked the room and molested her. Malamaruthi police have registered a cased under 376IPC.The godman is originally from Bagalkot." (http://allaboutbelgaum.com/news/godman-arrested-alleged-rape-cook/)

The cream of society, the doctors who want their kids to become doctors (irrespective of their capability) would go to any length of dishonesty (which are unthinkable) to achieve their objective. And the widely prevalent dishonesty of many doctors in the approach to treating patients is an open secret.

Majority of these people who blame the politicians for dishonestly taking personal advantages, would do exactly the same thing (or even more?) if they are in the same position. So what is our future? I can't think of any other way than to wait till the end of Kaliyuga when a God incarnate will come to eradicate the evil!

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-59828829762015396822014-06-12T02:23:00.001-07:002014-06-12T02:23:30.850-07:00Disappearing skill of clinical diagnosis

We had the subject of general medicine and surgery in the third year of BDS. To train us to do the clinical diagnosis for the exam, we had some good teachers. When any of us fell sick, they would diagnose by clinical examination, give appropriate medicine and that was it! The health was restored.

In that period of time, one day my aunt who stayed next door, frantically called me home. Her daughter, about 4 years old, was having deep purplish color inside her oral cavity. My cousin who was doing MBBS, was already there, checking her with his stethoscope. I looked at the girl, she seemed to be completely normal, the breathing rate, pulse and all. I called her aside and asked,' Tell me, where is the thing that you put in your mouth?' She took me to the place where potassium permanganate was kept!

When I joined my job and started working, I developed a pain in the neck and shoulder region. The pain was a bit more and we went for consultation. He diagnosed some problem in the neck area and told to go to the physiotherapy department to get traction done daily for a number of days, apart from taking some tablets. Well, I am not a lover of tablets, but went for traction for a few days. Then I got the intuition that something was not right. I didn't want to continue with the traction. I started thinking deeply what must have gone wrong.

While doing post graduation, my friends had talked me into buying a very high heeled chappal, and I was continuing to use it. I thought of discontinuing its use and see the result. Well, that was it! Within a week, I was totally free from the pain.

I had a maid whose mother used to fall sick often. She would be admitted to the hospital for saline infusion, for at least two days. Now I have another maid, who absented one day and told that her mother was having abdominal pain. She took some pain killers herself, the pain got worsened. So they took her to the doctor.

I was experienced now, so asked her, 'They admitted her for saline infusion?'

'Yes,' she answered with a look of admiration.

I was surprised that her mother took pain killers. I asked her, 'Don't you people have any home remedies (gharelu davai)?'

'No', she told with an expression, 'What are you talking about?'

'The bill came to Rs. 7000. The doctor told that there may be problem with the heart also, it is very necessary to get a check up done (of course another fat bill).All of us are worried and are thinking about it.'

On further questioning her I came to know that her mother had a hernia operation last year. The day prior to getting pain she had carried big vessels of water to store in the house. Mostly the pain must have started due to the strain and then her self medication must have created acidity or something like that.

From our friend circle and others, we come to know that doctors who can make a correct clinical diagnosis are very rare now. They will write for investigations and even repeat investigations again and again! Doctors are proving to be 'karmic police of the kaliyuga' (my daughter's words). The sins are increasing and doctors are here to mete out punishment by misdiagnosis, draining people of their money by repeated investigations, unnecessary hospitalization and surgeries.

To one of my colleagues' mother, immediate heart surgery was advised, with a warning that she might not last even for 3 months without the surgery. The lady was very courageous and decided, ' I have spent a life time and had a good life. I am ready to die any time now.' She didn't get the surgery done and was alive even three years afterwards. I lost contact with her after that.

I have reliable information from a hospital that there is standing instruction to the ICU unit that any patients that came with chest or abdominal pain have to be kept in the ICU for at least one week. The cost of doing an MBBS course is almost one crore now. If they do post graduation also, spending a fortune, they are in a hurry to make money after starting the practice. Then cuts from the drug companies and pathology labs are very lucrative. Even some dentists are routinely writing tonics for every patient for their cuts from the drug company. Is there any comparison to the earning if one does correct clinical diagnosis and cure the patients with minimum medicines?

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-52319595621005251312014-02-28T21:42:00.002-08:002014-02-28T21:59:11.704-08:00The changing lives of medical students
When I joined the dentistry course, there were so many things expected of a medical/dental student. Ladies had to wear saris, had to cut short their nails (this is the reason that my daughters decided in their childhood not to go into the medical field, because they liked to keep long nails), and make the hair neatly into a bun at the back. We had cupboards in the college where we were supposed to keep the doctor's apron when leaving the college every day.

Look at the changed scenario now. Lady dentists may be thinking that they look older if they put up their hair. This is an age when 'youth' is the most coveted quality. Some are 'gracious' enough to put a clip at the back, but others believe in open hair policy. Sometimes the hair style is such that they come in front of their eyes (see the photo I got from the net).

 I am at a loss to understand how they get a clear vision of the area being operated on. Yes, many dental treatments are considered surgical procedures. Our counterparts, general surgeons keep the protocol of covering their hair in the surgery. Don't dentists consider their work serious enough?

Many lady dentists also love to have long painted nails. Fashion statements are very important in today's world. Earlier it was for the actors and ramp walkers that designer clothes were made. Now even for the healing profession members, designer clothes are necessary. Western influence has changed the general mind set, there are no qualms about exposing the body as much as one likes.

I see medical people with aprons (hopefully, only students, but I haven't verified) in the hotels (not very close to the college or hospital they work), dust filled roads, and busy market places. Yes, they do shopping with doctor's aprons! One colleague was joking, 'They have paid so much money as donation to get into the medical/dental college that they want to show the world what course they are doing.'

 It so happened that after I wrote this, I had to go for a communal lunch. Four medical students in aprons were standing close by and having lunch. Slowly I went near them and asked, 'Are you medical or dental students?' They were medical students. I asked, 'Why do you wear the doctor's aprons?' They had the expression of 'what a stupid question that is!' I persisted, 'What is purpose of wearing the apron?' One girl thought for some time and told, 'To see patients.' Aha! So she has some idea. I told them that the apron is to be worn during working hours. 'You should find out the reasons for wearing the apron, you are going to be doctors. It is a disgrace to our profession to roam around in doctor's aprons in the market places and the like.'

<st1:city w:st="on">Belgaum</st1:city>being a place with many dental/medical colleges, some of the local house owners keep students as tenants. Some parents also don't like their kids to stay in the hostel. So they stay in houses, have bikes or cars. They throw the garbage in front of neighbors' houses; have late night parties where both genders have a gala time. Since money is not a problem for these kids of rich parents, plenty of alcohol consumption goes on. One land lord of such medical students had a serious doubt once, which he disclosed to us, 'I don't see these people studying at all, but they keep passing exams. What kind of doctors will they make?'

Now coming to the examinations, once during a viva, the college chairman was also sitting nearby. The examiner kept asking the student questions after questions, but no answer was forthcoming. Getting frustrated, the examiner told,' you must be knowing the answer, unless you speak out, how can I give marks?'

The student looked at the chairman and told,' He had told me that even if I didn't answer any question, I would pass the exams'!!! Well, this may not be the case in all colleges, but even if it is happening in some places, isn't it serious?

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-27080299493593080692014-02-24T22:34:00.002-08:002014-02-24T22:34:24.832-08:00Death around the smokey corner

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-23203966973228436702014-01-29T06:05:00.000-08:002014-01-29T23:01:48.325-08:00The significance of human body

Will we use a huge knife to cut a cloth? Or a scissors to cut wood? Around us there are myriads of things for our daily use. We know exactly what should be used for what purpose so that our work is optimized.

When we know that 'we' are not the bodies and the bodies are just clothing the souls, it is necessary to think whether we are putting the body to proper use. How exactly are we supposed to be treating the bodies?

We may have so many aspirations and dreams. The body is the only machine with which we can accomplish anything in life. That means we have to take care of this machine, just like one who loves driving a lot, takes great care of his car.

Unlike the car, the human body is a self healing machine. It can take a lot of abuse. So when somebody falls really sick, he/she has taken matters to the extreme that the healing capacity of the body is not able to cope with.

When poisonous foods (fried, tinned, too much cooked etc) are routinely consumed, the body's defense mechanism kicks in and to protect the blood vessels from this poison, it puts up a layer of fat (cholesterol) on their walls. Instead of correcting the basic cause (changing the food habit), people get angioplasties done. I know people who get it done multiple times. And humans are supposed to be 'intelligent' beings!

One of very basic things we can do to keep the body healthy is to get up before sunrise (or at least when the sun rises) because our body rhythm is related to the circadian rhythm. Are we doing that?

Ref: http://www.tunedbody.com/<wbr></wbr>heart-surgeon-declares-really-<wbr></wbr>causes-heart-illness/

- Core idea courtesy Dr. S Goel

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-41135447066507864602013-12-17T22:24:00.002-08:002013-12-17T22:24:46.439-08:00Why do mosquitoes bite humans?
Mosquitoes are out there to drink blood to fill their stomachs. Then why don't they bite all humans equally? We all know that in a room with many people, some of them will be troubled so much by a mosquito while some others are left alone.

We used to have yoga sessions in a hall with many others and mosquitoes used to frequent the hall. From the yoga postures, hands had to be freed to kill the mosquitoes. Then it so happened that only my husband and I were doing yoga in the same hall. After some days, we suddenly noticed that mosquitoes were not present in the hall. We came to the conclusion that if you are calm inside, mosquitoes leave you alone.

Then there is another view that mosquitoes come to remove the excess blood that some persons may have. They are thus bringing balance in nature.

There is also a view that mosquitoes bite on acupressure/acupuncture points to relieve problems of the person being bitten. So if you don't have any problems that need to be treated, chances are that mosquitoes will leave you alone!

A research on this topic showed that one of the key ways mosquitoes locate their targets is by smelling the carbon dioxide emitted in their breath.—they use an organ called maxillary palp  to do this, and can detect carbon dioxide from as far as 164 feet away. As a result, people who simply exhale more of the gas over time—generally, larger people—have been shown to attract more mosquitoes than others. This is one of the reasons why children get bitten less often than adults, on the whole.

According to one study, people who drink just one bottle of beer, increase their detect-ability levels to the mosquito world. As per the opinion of an entomologist, mosquitoes attract people dressed in striking colors such as black, navy and red.
Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-13935618125911960092013-12-08T03:00:00.001-08:002013-12-08T03:00:34.692-08:00Life's lesson from Life plant

I cut out a leaf from the Life plant (Miracle leaf, or 'Ilamulachi' in Malayalam) and hung it in the air. Within a week, roots started sprouting out of its serrations, and in a few days, cute, tiny leaves also appeared. The mother leaf hanging in the air with so many tiny little babies! No water was available to the leaf for this period.

I went out and looked at the plant from which I had plucked and brought the leaf. None of the other leaves had sprouted baby plants.

The separated leaf was facing adverse situation, which led it to propagate itself.

Then the great lesson of life struck me. The Universe puts us through tough situations to bring out the best in us. Without realizing the significance of having to face difficulties, many parents approach me for counseling when their children have to take some tough decisions in life. They fail to understand that those experiences are necessary to make them balanced, mature individuals!

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-74776666703809545052013-10-17T00:15:00.000-07:002013-10-17T00:15:34.562-07:00There are no short cuts in life
Observing the lives of self and others at close quarters for more than five decades, I am fortunate to grasp the basic truth of life; that there are no short cuts. I definitely got the divine grace to understand this, because every day I watch septuagenarians and octogenarians who are looking for short cuts, forget about the youngsters!

It is prevalent in every walk of life. As a dentist, I know that majority of dentists do short cut in doing root canal treatment. In infected cases, short cut approach will not remove the infection, so they give systemic antibiotics to compensate for the work that they have not done. Who is bothered about the grave problems that irrational antibiotic prescription will cause for the future generations?

As a Reiki master I encounter again and again Reiki channels asking whether they can do the self healing by short cut. I have seen many of them who do short cut healing not receiving the full benefit of Reiki, which can be beyond imagination when one does proper self healing every day.

The interesting aspect is that the short cut is solicited only in the efforts one has to put in. What about happiness, enjoyment, material aspects one wants in life? They have to be available in full measure, no short cuts here, please!

When you want a mango tree in your garden, it takes years after you plant the sapling, for getting a fruiting tree. To enjoy the full taste of mangoes, it has to ripen naturally. But we get tasteless mangoes in the market because they have been plucked prematurely and ripened by artificial means.

One becomes obese after years of over eating, but weight reduction is sought overnight. This gives opportunity for many to come up with ingenious ideas to earn so much money from these culpable individuals. I know some of them getting irreversible problems from usage of such weight reduction products.

We will stop looking for short cuts when we start liking what we are doing. And how can we start liking what we are doing? And that is another complicated question!
Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-89720943888621158512013-10-13T06:35:00.001-07:002013-10-13T06:36:02.967-07:00To start living in the present

How can we start living in the present? By totally accepting the present moment and also being grateful for all the blessings in life. This in no way means that one should become complacent and stop doing one's duty in life. But to aspire something too badly and going madly after it, neglecting other aspects of life, will only bring misery to life.

When I was around 16 years of age, my parents took me to a Malayalam drama, which had a great impact on my life. It was named 'Raktarakshas', which means an entity that drinks blood. The story was of an ugly daughter of a great Ayurveda physician. He was a well acclaimed man, to whom people came from far and wide and got relief from their problems. The daughter used to pester him to make some potion for her to become beautiful. He just used to pacify her saying that the inner beauty was more important than the physical beauty and she was beautiful according to him.

When the father dies, she searches through his medical literature and to her surprise she saw that there was really a technique, though a difficult one, to turn ugliness into beauty. She religiously followed the technique for twelve full moon sessions and became a very beautiful lady. Some time later, while cutting vegetable, her finger got cut and some blood fell on the floor. Soon her body started transforming into a grotesque figure and she ran out of the house and killed the first man she encountered on the street to drink his blood. Then it was shown that in the medical book, the last line written was "If some body becomes beautiful by this technique, she has to take care that her blood never falls in the earth, or she will turn into a 'Raktarakshas'.

If we aspire for something and work for it for a reasonable amount of time and do not succeed, we should understand that our path must be different and take a detour. We can adamantly keep following the same path and we may achieve it, but by them we will be so exhausted that we don't derive as much enjoyment as we had expected.

This aspect became absolutely clear to me when I became a past life regression therapist. Now I know from experience that at the soul level we decide our path for this life time. On taking birth we forget our life path and start aspiring for different things. If we really look into this, we understand that this originates from comparison. 'If he/she can have it, why can't I?' And comparison is sure way to invite frustration and depression.

We are all different, beautiful beings, here on this plane to accomplish different things. Live on a day to day basis, be happy at the end of each day for what you have done to the best of your ability, and be thankful for the higher guidance. Then the life starts blooming!

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-18193454781500109592013-10-07T06:58:00.000-07:002013-10-07T06:58:09.384-07:00'Kitanu' (Bacteria) phobia

Majority of the advertisements one sees on television give vivid graphics of the dangers of living with bacteria. One has to remove all the bacteria from the mouth, from the plates used for eating food, even from the floor.

If you take a look at the Wikipedia, you see that "Populations of microbes (such as bacteria and yeasts) inhabit the skin and mucosa. Their role forms part of normal, healthy human physiology, however if microbe numbers grow beyond their typical ranges (often due to a compromised immune system) or if microbes populate atypical areas of the body (such as through poor hygiene or injury), disease can result."

Many people consider that human beings are separate from the other beings on the earth. It is not so. We are just a part of the whole Universe, and are supposed to have a commensal existence. Of course, some basic hygiene is necessary in life, but there is no point in taking things to the extreme.

Bacterial cells are much smaller than human cells, and there are at least ten times as many bacteria as human cells in the body. The mass of microorganisms are estimated to account for 1-3% total body mass. Though members of the flora are found on all surfaces exposed to the environment (on the skin and eyes, in the mouth, nose, small intestine), the vast majority of bacteria live in the large intestine. So how are we going to sterilize our intestine?

The solution is not to make ourselves bacteria free, but to strengthen our immunity. But this approach will not help to rake in money for the advertising companies.

Trying to guard one away from bacteria has led to the situation that when he/she falls sick, it is difficult to recover. Because the lack of exposure to bacteria diminished the formation of antibodies in the body and it cannot cope up with the infection. In such situations, fecal matter from a healthy human was introduced into the gut of the diseased person, which led to the cure! "Fecal implant' now looks to be a promising cure.. ha ha…

And, what's more, fecal implant is now available in pill form (http://www.medpagetoday.com/MeetingCoverage/IDWeek/42044).

The choice is yours. Learn to live with the microbes, develop your immunity OR be ready to eat sh-t.

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-34664831644413185762013-09-20T03:22:00.000-07:002013-09-20T03:22:07.757-07:00Of bullet trains and tears

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-55879484110208900652013-09-15T02:56:00.003-07:002013-09-15T03:00:24.917-07:00Let us run the family together

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-57186873669591080862013-08-30T07:07:00.001-07:002013-08-30T07:07:08.037-07:00Our teeth- An important asset

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-20166040535467897752013-08-11T05:53:00.003-07:002013-08-12T06:52:47.640-07:00Sweden sweeps me off my feet

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-1026034184347745582013-06-21T05:36:00.001-07:002013-06-21T05:36:12.748-07:00A Coorgi wedding

I was fortunate to get an opportunity to attend a Coorgi wedding. The first surprise that welcomed me on reaching the venue was the sight of natural pleasant faced ladies. These days it has become the norm for ladies, in whatever age group they are, to make a trip to the beauty parlor before any function. It is just sympathy that fills my heart when I see even septugenarians with painted faces that look so out of place. Somewhere along the line the fairer sex has forgotten the concept of graceful aging. Here I was lucky to feast my eyes on faces that reflected wisdom and compassion, without the overlying thick layers of foundation, compact powder and rouge.

It was heartening to see that the youngsters were giving due respect to the elders by greeting them and touching their feet. The older generation was really taken care of, and attended on.

Even though the families were very well off, there was no ugly display of wealth by providing two hundred items for the feast. This is another sad trend that is catching up. There will be a menu of innumerable items, but I have experienced on many occasions that the quality would be compromised. Here there were a few select items, but each one was a gastronomic delight!

I have to admit that the ladies had good esthetic sense in the selection of jewellery. They were very different from the ones I usually see in other parts of India.

And finally it was a great experience to participate in the traditional dance programme that followed the dinner.

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-77378712613853293982013-03-08T01:18:00.000-08:002013-06-05T02:43:53.569-07:00 Antivirus system for you

When someone thinks that a physical problem can exist without a mental component, it just means that he/she does not have a deep understanding of life. The mind body connection is becoming more and more clear to scientists.

We all have heard some time or the other, 'He got a liver damage. Very surprising, he never touched alcohol!' As a spiritual healer, I know that anger can damage the liver more than chronic alcohol consumption. Holding onto anger for long periods of time or projecting a serene self when actually one is boiling inside, can totally throw the liver out of gear.

So how can we come out of the emotional imbalances? All of us know that anger, jealousy, hatred etc., are not good for us and we want to come out of them. But is it an easy task? Intellectually thinking that you want to get rid of these major enemies of our system, and trying to do so will bring almost no positive results.

It is here that learning Reiki comes to your rescue. It looks so simple, but can have profound effect on your quality of life. All you have to do, after getting attuned to Reiki by a Reiki teacher/master, is to do Reiki self healing every day. If you can give Reiki healing to others also, all the more better.

The electromagnetic vibration of Reiki, which has an intelligence of its own, brings balance in every aspect of your life. It takes you gradually to the higher planes of life. Slowly, problems cease to look like problems, but challenges that you think you are capable of overcoming. Whatever armamentarium that you need to meet the every day challenges, is right there with you, because Reiki provides them.

Just like you work peacefully on your computer after you have installed a powerful antivirus programme, you can go through your life in a peaceful and calm manner. You develop the strong faith and experience it in daily life, that the Reiki energy running as the background programme, can have a powerful impact in the way you experience life!

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-36386484750041873772013-04-07T03:59:00.002-07:002013-06-05T02:43:18.624-07:00The uniqueness of Rameshwaram

My solah somavar vrat was approaching the final lap when our relatives were planning a trip to Ramaeshwaram. 'We would like your company,' they told. We also like to be with them, since the head of the family reads Puranas every day for two hours for the past two decades and we get so much information during conversations with him.

Train tickets to <st1:city w:st="on">Madurai</st1:city>were booked, but our numbers were way down in the waiting list. 'If the tickets get confirmed, we will go', we decided. The trip was supposed to be on 27thMarch, just after my last 'solah somavar' Monday (25th March).

The waiting list numbers came to 2 and 3 by 24th. But a 24 hour train journey cannot be undertaken without confirmation. Any way we did the packing and waited, and waited. On 26the evening at 5 pm, our tickets were confirmed!

So we set out on our journey, remembering to carry the <st1:place w:st="on">Ganga</st1:place> jal that we had brought from up North years ago. One is supposed to do abhishek with <st1:place w:st="on">Ganga</st1:place> jal on the idol at Rameshwaram. The visit to Rameshwaram was finishing our 'Char Dham yatra' too.

Reaching <st1:city w:st="on">Madurai</st1:city>on 28th early morning, we rushed to the hotel where our relatives were put up, had a quick shower and got ready to visit the Meenakshi temple. After having a nice darshan, finished our lunch and started for the car ride to Rameshwaram. By night fall, we reached the hotel that our friend had booked. He told us to be ready by 5 am next day morning to go for 'Sphatik Shivling' darshan, which is possible only from 5 to 6 am. This Shivling was gifted by the Raja of Nepal 900 years ago.

Before the darshan of the main idol, we had a dip in the sea, in the 'Agni Teerth". Then we went around the 22 teerths, which are wells established by different sages. When we stand near the well, the person responsible for that particular well will draw water and pour over our heads. It is supposed to wash off sins. Since our hotel was nearby, we went back and changed.

Taking our Ganga Jal with us, we went to the main sanctum Santorum. Our Ganga Jal was poured into a big bucket of water and the pujari poured the water over the idol of Shivling. It was such a bhakti filled moment, I got goose flesh. My eyes closed automatically and I got the feeling of weightlessness. It was an amazing experience!

What is unique about Rameshwaram? The Vaishnavites and Shaivites meet here. It is told that when Lord Rama was asked what is Rameshwaram, he replied, 'Where Rama's eshwar ( Lord Shiva) resides.' On putting the same question to Lord Shiva, his response was 'Where Rama is Eshwar (Lord Shiva worships Rama).

Prof Beena Ranihttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-49819822388824902802013-06-03T04:08:00.002-07:002013-06-03T04:08:12.550-07:00The sampige saga

<o:p> </o:p>We planted a sampige sapling outside our house 18 years back. Since then I have been dreaming of the tree laden with flowers. I am crazy for its heady fragrance. I watered the plant with love, talked to it and waited for the blooms to show up.

Weeks passed to months, months passed to years. Then I thought that sampige may be having male and female trees like some other plants, and it may not flower. But during a meeting with a friend who is a forest officer, he assured me that it will definitely flower one day.

My hope was rekindled and I started to talk to the tree again, standing on the terrace. On 19th May 2013, I was sitting on the lawn and looked up at the tree. I could see some yellow color among the leaves. My heart stopped for a second. Was I seeing flowers? Yes, they were!

My happiness knew no bounds and I ran to the terrace to take a closer look. And I was surprised to see that all the flowers were on the branch that was closest to the terrace, where I used to stand and talk to the tree!

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-9669684.post-71684035328392474742012-06-03T06:22:00.001-07:002012-06-07T22:36:52.137-07:00Striking the Chord

Self realization happens when your chord is struck. What is the chord
and what is striking it? The chord extends from the brain to the heart.
and it is the Grace that should strike this chord for one to experience
the ultimate state. We know that we don't have any control on the
Grace. That will happen when the appropriate time comes. What is in our control is to prepare the chord so that it produces the correct sound when struck.
First of all the chord may not be taut. How can it be made taut? When the intellectual understanding matures to understanding from the heart, or experiential understanding, the chord becomes taut. Then again, there may be coating on the chord that will not let the appropriate melody to emanate. And what is this coating? It is the desire in one's mind. As long as one is riddled with desires, it is impossible to realize the true self.
Thus it should be clear that though self realization can happen in the blink of an eye, the preparation time varies from person to person.it may take only ten years, or it may take several incarnations!

Prof Beena Ranihttp://email@example.com


text:
With Windows Server 2012 Hyper-V, ESG Labs tested a virtualized configuration of SharePoint 2013, and their findings concluded that the performance, scalability, and low overhead of Hyper-V can be used to reduce costs while improving the manageability, flexibility, and availability of consolidated SharePoint 2013 workloads.
Performance is one of the key considerations in virtualization, and with the performance testing by ESG, along with the key scale and performance capabilities in Windows Server 2012 R2 Hyper-V, it's clear that customers can successfully virtualize, without sacrifices, on a cost-effective platform. And Microsoft enables this with Cloud OS, the Microsoft vision of the unified platform.
Instructor | Matt McSpirit – Microsoft Senior Technical Product Manager
Free Microsoft Training Delivered by Experts

subset: commoncrawl


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Control not needed for hackberry psyllid
By Linda Langelo
Golden Plains Extension Horticulture Program Associate
Hackberry nipple gall maker is a gall that is formed on the undersides of leaves of the hackberry tree by the hackberry nipple gall psyllid. What are psyllids? They are small insects that are about a tenth of an inch long when full grown. They look like miniature versions of cicadas. Unlike cicadas, they have an ability to jump. They are quite host specific or in other words, specific to a family or a genus of plants.
In the case of hackberries, these psyllids produce a prominent wary leaf gall on the undersides of the hackberry leaves. These galls resemble a little green pea. When the buds of the hackberry begin to expand, the adults emerge and deposit eggs on the undersurface of the leaf. As the eggs hatch, the nymphs feed and this swelling or gall begins to form. At the end of the summer when the nymphs reach their adult stage, they emerge. There is only one generation per season.
This process leaves the tree looking ugly. However, these psyllids have a purposeful life cycle according to Whitney Cranshaw, Colorado State University Entomologist. Hackberry psyllids are prey for chickadees, creepers, nuthatches, and many other species. In the spring, migratory birds such as warblers, ruby-crowned kinglets, pine siskins, American goldfinches and chipping sparrows rely on these psyllids. The nipple galls are eaten by fox squirrels.
The berries produced on the hackberry provide a food source for other birds. These birds are ring-necked pheasant, robins, mockingbirds, quail, wild turkey, cedar waxwings, sharp-tailed grouse, yellow-bellied sapsuckers and other birds.
These psyllids do not need to be controlled for the health of the tree. Mother Nature has provided a balance. A food source for the birds while not harming the tree and then, only in rare cases. For more information visit www.ext.colostate.edu.
Date: 8/6/2012


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Last November, Chattanooga embraced fairness and equality by adding protections for sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression to the city's nondiscrimination ordinance and offering domestic partnership benefits to city employees.
Unfortunately, immediately following the passage of this measure, a local group petitioned against it, collecting enough signatures for the ordinance to appear on Thursday's ballot.
While the measure is labeled as the domestic partnership ordinance on the ballot, it is really about so much more.
It is about basic fairness for Chattanooga city employees. Studies show that about a third of lesbian, gay and bisexual Americans have experienced adverse treatment in the workplace because of their sexual orientation, and a shocking 90 percent of transgender Americans have endured work-related harassment or discrimination. People's ability to earn a living and support their families should be based on their job skills and performance. A person who works hard and does his or her job effectively should not be fired just because he or she is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Chattanooga's nondiscrimination ordinance will ensure that city employees are treated with basic human dignity and are evaluated fairly.
Government employees deserve assurance that they will be treated equally at work. The absence of such protection for Chattanooga's LGBT employees challenges our sense of fairness and sends the wrong message to those dedicated public servants. Public servants like Capt. Corliss Cooper, who recently made history when she became the first African-American female captain in the history of the Chattanooga Police Department after serving in law enforcement for decades.
Perhaps Capt. Cooper herself put it best when she said, "I put my life on the line every day for the citizens of Chattanooga. This ordinance ensures that my family will receive the same protections and benefits as every other officer in the department."
To date, about 490 other cities in the United States, including Memphis, Knoxville, Nashville, Collegedale and over 145 other cities in the South, have successfully implemented a nondiscrimination ordinance and/or provided domestic partner benefits, sending a message to city employees like Cooper that they deserve equal treatment and protection in the workplace.
Corporate America already has begun voluntarily implementing this type of protection — 91 percent of America's Fortune 500 companies provide explicit protections for employees on the basis of sexual orientation.
Indeed, many of Tennessee's top private employers have shown that they value inclusivity and see clear economic benefits to corporate nondiscrimination, including companies with a large presence in Chattanooga. Volkswagen, Unum Group, Mohawk Industries, SunTrust, Regions, Blue Cross BlueShield of Tennessee, Amazon and Wal-Mart all have nondiscrimination policies that include sexual orientation and/or gender identity and/or offer domestic partner benefits.
Chattanooga has the opportunity to embrace a crucial community-defining moment and reaffirm its reputation as a forward-thinking and inclusive city where all city workers are protected from discrimination and treated fairly and equally.
Everyone will be watching to see what kind of city Chattanooga will be.
Hedy Weinberg is executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Tennessee.
California. The HIV/AIDS Epidemic in Washington, D.C. July 2012 Washington, D.C. is one of the areas hardest hit by HIV in the United States (U.S.), with an epidemic on par with some developing nations.1,2,3 In D.C., approximately 2.7% of the population is living with HIV, which exceeds UNAIDS' definition of a "generalized" epidemic (having HIV prevalence greater than 1% of the population),3,4 and D.C. has the highest AIDS diagnosis rate of any state in the U.S.
My Dearest Friends: 'Wife', in Hebrew, means 'Woman'!...(female)
My Dearest Friends:'Husband, in Hebrew, means 'Man'...(male)
And, may I say: 'Wife', in Greek, means 'Woman'!...(female)
And, may I say: 'Husband', in Greek, means 'Man'! ...(male)
Capiche? The very next step is to beastiality and a demand to 'legally' allow [humans] to 'marry'dogs, horses, mules, other animals. (And to get them insured at innocent tax-payers expense. They would, of course, be labeled 'CIVIL UNIONS'. Legislated. This is not a joke!
Malleus Deum Verum
'HUMAN–ANIMAL MARRIAGE' https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CEUQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FHuman%25E2%2580%2593animal_marriage&ei=m73dU8CiMIbt8QGb44HYDw&usg=AFQjCNGtl1bO7CanuqhngN5TBmW7XXOFBA&sig2=SnqQnLpkK07yBGwqOOjojQ&bvm=bv.72197243,d.b2U
Malleus Deum Verum
A Sovereign Nation Has the Right to Reward Individuals Within Unions (Marriages) Who Have the Greatest Expectation to Procreate. [Nations Need Taxpayers]. A Sovereign Nation Has the Right to Deny Reward (Insurance/Tax Write-Offs/Death Benefits to Spouses, etc.)to Individual Unions Which do Not Have the Expectation to Procreate. Also, A Sovereign Nation Has the Right to Discourage Supporting Individuals Who Cost Their Innocent Tax Payers Over $20,000,000,000 [Twenty Billion Dollars] Per Year. The Average Cost to Treat One Case of HIV/AIDS is Over $400,000 [Four Hundred Thousand Dollars Per Lifetime. (Source: Center for Disease Control {CDC} HIV Surveillance Report 2009, Vol 21). So, My Question to You: "Shall We Change The Definition of Husband to Mean Woman, Or, The Definition of Wife to Mean Man? Shall We Do This Even Though These Unions Go Against The Wisdom and Needs of a Sovereign United States of America? This Deadly Chosen Lifestyle is Not to be Forced Upon a Sovereign Nation.
Malleus Deum Verum
You must look a little closer. *** It is in no way a privilege of any U.S. Citizen to change the definition of any word or related institution associated with said word. (Husband=Male, Wife=Female).
*** No protections of U.S. Citizens are denied by maintaining folkways, morays, traditional family values and/or traditions of society.
*** Powers not granted to the federal government by the Constitution, nor prohibited to the States, are reserved to the States or the people.
*** Each state retains its sovereignty, freedom, and independence, and every power, jurisdiction, and right, which is not expressly delegated to the United States, in Congress assembled. (my edit for sake of clarity...no changes to interpretation applied)kwo
Malleus Deum Verum
"Once you have been infected with HIV, you will always carry it in your body."
"There is no cure for HIV." http://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/just-diagnosed-with-hiv-aids/overview/hiv-positive/
Citizens! Please! Where are your brains??? Do you want your family tax dollars paying from $400,0000.00 to $600,000.000 per infected homosexual who chose a lifestyle Jesus Christ labels an abomination?
Malleus Deum Verum
The HIV/AIDS Epidemic in Washington, D.C. [kaiser foundation] Washington, D.C. is the hardest hit by HIV in the United States (U.S.), with an epidemic on par with some developing nations. In D.C., approximately (NOW 3.3%) of the population is living with HIV, which exceeds UNAIDS' definition of a "generalized" epidemic (having HIV prevalence greater than 1% of the population),3,4 and
D.C. has the highest AIDS diagnosis rate of any state in the U.S. Third World countries laugh at Washington D.C.: Africa is doing better than they [D.C.] are in the HIV/AIDS category. Yeah, Liberal Democrat Stronghold, D.C. is a great example for the rest of the nation!
fairmon said...
"VOTE AGAINST THE PROPOSAL unless you would
vote for a property tax increase at some point in the future. a couple hundred thousand here and a couple hundred thousand there for this and similar other peoples money legislation by politicians using tax payer money to gain favor and votes will indeed require more tax revenue from some source."
I do so much agree with fairmon!
Little-by-little, deceptively, within the Occult, The Chattanooga Homosexuals will Tax Innocent Citizens to death! Property, Sewage Taxes, etc. If we allow it!***
They want Us to pay hundres of thousands of dollars to them for their (what has been labeled) 'THE HOMOSEXUAL CULTURE OF DEATH' ...'They' say that.
City of Chattanooga! Do Not Be Fooled into paying $400,000 to $600,000 per lifetime per HIV/AIDS Infected Homosexual Patient.
Malleus Deum Verum
African-Americans and other disenfranchised people among the 'so
called' minority populations will bear the pain of the burden of this deceptive attempt to raise future taxes.
The poor of Chattanooga Tennessee cannot afford the increased taxes that will gradually be levied against them to support the 'going bankrupt' Hospice Centers treating The Homosexual HIV/AIDS Patients. Many other harms to society wil occur as a result if this ordinance is passed in favor of the part of the Homosexual Community that is infected with HIV/AIDS, The 'Super-Bug' Gonorrhea ,,(very often much worse than Homosexual's who have HIV/AIDS), Opportunistic Infections passed on even by Movie Theatre seats where an infected person has been seated, etc., etc., etc.
Malleus Deum Verum
I could care less who anyone has sex with, I just don't want to pay for it.
SOLUTION: Only pay for the employee. After that for family, or lover, or whatever, the employee pays. Then we conservatives don't have to pay for anyone's kids or for gender identity or anything else.
This is about money as far as I am concerned. If it adds to our tax burden, I SAY HELL NO.
Do you live in Chattanooga, Timbo? How does it "add to YOUR tax burden"?


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This year's Great American Beer Festival played temporary home to 580 breweries -- and with more than 2,700 beers poured, the fest's professional judge panel had its hands (and mouths) full when making decisions on the winners of all 84 categories. Continue reading for the full list of the weekend's ... More >>
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The outer limits of vintage tech uncovered
Summary: The return of the Amiga and a rare sighting of an Acorn laptop are here in a look at the more unusual tech at the UK's first Vintage Computer Festival
3 of 8Image
It wasn't just the exhibits and the presence of legacy journalists that made the Vintage Computer Festival reminiscent of the 1980s micro scene. A new Amiga — the X1000 — got launched.
Well, not really launched: it had been announced earlier in the year. Little details like the manufacturer of the PowerPC CPU, the price, performance and availability are still secret. However, it will have an 500 MHz XMOS co-processor — the reconfigurable hardware technology created by ex-Inmos designers — and run AmigaOS 4.
Why an XMOS co-processor? Why not, is the answer: it really is the '80s all over again. No final cases either, but here's a shot of the circuit board.
The company behind the Amiga X1000 is A-EON, and co-founder Trevor Dickinson (second from right) is an enormous Commodore fan with over 150 machines in his personal collection.
Here we see him and others reacting to a question at the event. We didn't catch the exact wording of the query, but strongly suspect it involved a variant of the phrase: "Why on earth are you doing this?"
Speaking of why, here's a piece of ancient technology that is as puzzling as anything Alan Turing helped decode.
Clive Sinclair's obsession with electric transport was arguably decades ahead of its time, but like so many Sinclair products the results were only too anachronistic. The C5 electric trike used a torpedo motor and lead-acid batteries to propel the punter fitfully through the streets at just below the level where other road users could see them — but any danger was minimised by the speed at which the battery went flat and the nylon gearbox turned into grated plastic.
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What He Taught Me from Death Row (2 of 4)By Ronlyn Domingue
June 14, 2010
I can't explain why I felt compelled to work with Feltus, other than to say I knew it was something I was supposed to do.
The possibility of a publishing credit, as an editor, was appealing but not paramount. I didn't expect and wasn't promised royalties if and when the book was sold. Feltus wanted proceeds evenly split among his elderly grandmother (who has since died), his surviving victim and both victims' families, and a foundation in his name that would give grants to organizations that serve children.
There was no intent on my part to get the intrinsic warm-fuzzy feeling of helping someone. I could have chosen other means, certainly one less controversial and subject to judgment.
I did believe, then and now, in the power of his voice. I reflected on my own relationship with words and with those who read them. In college, I'd been politically active and wrote newspaper editorials on several touchy subjects. Whether people agreed with me, I didn't particularly care. I wanted people to think. Or better, to question. I viewed Feltus as a catalyst to shift the way people thought about capital punishment. He wasn't an attorney, a nun, or a criminologist. He had the most direct authority to talk about the death penalty. He had the right to tell the story because he lived it, like Frederick Douglass had the right to tell his.
What I struggled with then and couldn't name until now is my flaw of arrogance. I thought I had the education and experience to nurture his voice, to prompt him into deeper self-realization. There I was, nearly 30, full of assumptions. The assumptions were different from the ones of the predominant culture, spewed forth in the media. That depiction cast Feltus as a predatory black man—like thousands of others—who lurked the streets with criminal intent.
Oh, but I was beyond that, wasn't I, having seen the research about how society creates its own misfits through poverty, violence, delinquent peers, school failure, and substance abuse, to name a few. I thought I understood him. I knew the theories, the predictors of behavior, and I knew his facts. I had read his case file, and Feltus was a textbook case. The circumstances and themes were all familiar. Only the details of his story were unique.
He was abandoned by his birth mother and taken in by a couple when he was two. He could not talk, walk, or feed himself. He wasn't potty trained until he was four or five. He was a poor student. In fifth grade, he was placed in special education and socially promoted every year after. His school records show that he went between two extremes: acting withdrawn or acting out. Until he was fourteen, he had a severe speech impediment, which stopped although he received little speech therapy as a child.
His adoptive father was an alcoholic, and his parents were physically abusive with each other. They divorced when he was 10 because of his father's infidelity. He was closest to his mother and maternal grandmother. His friends were boys who committed petty crimes, and he joined in to be accepted. His grandfather died when Feltus was 13, the only male figure who seemed to take an interest in him when he was a child. When he was 14, his mother remarried, but she and her husband moved out of state. Feltus stayed with his elderly grandmother so she wouldn't have to live alone. His stepfather died when Feltus was 18, and his mother moved back to Louisiana months after his death.
Feltus dropped out of school in the eleventh grade, three months before he turned 18. He worked two jobs at a time but still stole to get extra money. He dated a young woman from a poor family he felt sorry for. When he found out the girl and her family were going to be evicted, he committed an armed robbery to cover their rent and his own bills. He evaded the police for two weeks and was arrested on his nineteenth birthday.
In 1980, he was sentenced to 15 years at hard labor and sent to Wade Correctional Center in North Louisiana. His files state that he was sexually assaulted at least once at Wade. He had at least three prison relationships. He sold drugs to make money. In 1985, his mother died of a heart attack. Then in 1987, his father died. To keep a promise to his mother, Feltus earned his GED in 1988.
Like most prisons in the U.S., Wade offered few programs to help inmates to return to the world outside. Feltus was not taught skills to get a job that paid a living wage or how to deal with frustration and conflict without using violence, toward others and himself.
After being in prison for 11 years, at the age of 29, Feltus left Wade Correctional Center in June 1990. He worked 80 hours a week at two fast-food jobs he got within a month of his release. He met a young woman at work with whom he fell in love almost immediately. The relationship was good for four months. They discussed moving in together and having a child. Although he wasn't financially ready, Feltus moved out of his grandmother's house when her Social Security benefits were threatened because he was living with her. For almost two months, Feltus lived with friends and in his car. By then, he and his girlfriend weren't getting along. Feltus alleged that she was seeing her ex-boyfriend again. To deal with stress, Feltus used marijuana and crack. In February 1991, he rented an apartment after it seemed he and his girlfriend had reconciled. Within weeks, the relationship broke up for good, and Feltus was fired from his jobs.
Exactly nine months after he was released from prison, Feltus went to Cajun's Fabulous Fried Chicken to ask for his job back. Keith Clark, the manager, said he wouldn't hire Feltus again but would help him find a new job elsewhere. While they waited to call the manager at another restaurant, Feltus helped prepare for the day's business. While cleaning up, he saw the safe was open. He thought the money was the answer to his problems. He went outside to his car, where he had a gun under the seat and handcuffs on the rearview mirror, and returned to the restaurant. He handcuffed the manager and a worker, Donna Ponsano, in a back room. Clark tried to reason with Feltus. After a brief argument, Feltus shot both of them and took the money. He was caught 15 hours after the shootings.
Ponsano died two days later. Clark is permanently disabled, confined to a wheelchair.
In 1992, Feltus was sentenced to death and sent to Louisiana State Penitentiary's Death Row.
Feltus wrote about his life in terms of being on the outside and on the inside. He lived 19 years and nine months on the outside, free. He lived 19 years, five months, and 20 days on the inside, in prison.
* * * * *
Through the winter of 1998 and into the early summer of 1999, I had occasional visits with him and communicated through letters. I admit that that my contact wasn't as regular as it could have been. The bustle of life and work occupied me.
Aside from that, I was careful about how close I got. I didn't tell him much about myself. I kept the facts basic, things I would tell anyone who asked, like whether I was single, how many siblings I had, what jobs I had worked. I couldn't forget that he was a man who once survived by conning people. Information was leverage. It revealed weak links, soft spots. I knew that he had friends outside of the prison who were far more open with him. I didn't feel comfortable getting that close. In retrospect, it doesn't seem fair that I withheld so much when I had his entire life before my eyes and he trusted me to see it all.
My distance was complicated by the fact that, as much as I was cautious, I actually enjoyed talking with him. Cecile and his lawyer scheduled contact visits for me, so I didn't have the same psychological interference that I would have if we'd met through a screen.
We would discuss his book for the first few minutes. At the time, he was sending me several handwritten pages every couple of weeks. After the business part of our visit was over, we talked about all kinds of things. He read a newspaper and watched the TV news every day. He had more to say about current events than almost anyone I knew. I found it intriguing that Feltus considered movies, television, and music partially responsible for the rising violence among young people.
He would tell me stories about what went on inside the prison—from affairs among guards to the way contraband moved among people, even on the Row—and find humor in all of it. He often spoke frankly about what he missed about being on the outside, like long hot baths, good fried chicken, driving, and women. We had profound discussions about spirituality and death. He always mentioned how much he regretted what he'd done and how much he wanted to apologize to Keith Clark and the Ponsano family. His brown eyes deepened with tears, but he did not cry. Not in front of me.
If Feltus noticed how reserved I was during those first months we knew each other, he didn't mention it. He seemed content with the direction I tried to give him about his writing and often took my advice. I could see his progress as a writer. I'd encouraged him to focus more on descriptions and reflection. He had definitely improved.
I saw the strongest proof of his growth as a writer in his essay about Dobie Gillis Williams, his friend who was executed in January 1999. Originally, Feltus had started it the day of Dobie's scheduled execution in June 1998. It chronicled what Feltus thought every few hours and his reaction when Dobie returned to the Row after a last-minute stay. I encouraged him to finish it with his impressions about when Dobie was finally executed. A few weeks later, I received another couple of pages that were even better than I expected. Instead of simply stating that Dobie had arthritis, Feltus described how debilitating it was for him. Feltus gave details about what Dobie wore the day he walked off the Row and how his expression had changed from "the look of death" to one of peace. He also showed empathy through his imagination. In one part, he wrote that he pictured Dobie getting on the lethal injection table by himself, his life flashing before his eyes. "Then lying down must have felt really cold at that point," Feltus wrote. "Then his body dancing around within him as the drug started working and shutting his system down. But the people watching couldn't tell from just looking at him."
Feltus grieved for Dobie. He didn't write much of his autobiography in the months that followed. Then he set his book aside completely after the April 20, 1999 Columbine school shootings in Littleton, Colorado. The violence upset him so much that he wrote a series of essays that he wanted put into a workbook for young people. He was passionate and sincere in his wish to stop kids from leading the life he had. Much of his autobiography included frequent digressions in which he directly addressed—no, pleaded with—his young readers. "Don't make the same mistakes I made," he wrote over and over, telling them to listen to their parents and teachers, stay away from drugs, be kind to each other. . .
* * * * *
Feltus was a thoughtful man. For birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays, he sent cards to his friends and family. I know this because I received some and because I was given two years worth of letters after he was executed, which he gave me permission to excerpt in his autobiography. People thanked him for remembering special days in their lives. They appreciated that he asked about the welfare of the people they loved. In copies of letters that he wrote which friends shared with me, I read for myself that Feltus included many others in his prayers. I still remember a brief letter he wrote to a close pen friend's father who was elderly and suicidal. Feltus pleaded with him to realize how blessed he was to have family with him and that being old didn't mean he could no longer enjoy his life.
He had a good sense of humor. Feltus liked to call himself "The Black Leprechaun" because his birthday was on St. Patrick's Day. He joked about mooning the warden and witnesses at his execution just before he got on the table. He wondered if there was sex in heaven and what it would be like to make love on a cloud. The day he told me how a lethal injection kills a person, we spent twenty minutes debating the worst ways to die. He picked the guillotine: "It must be terrible knowin that blade's comin but not when." He chuckled through the imagined terror.
He didn't find his self-worth until he was on Death Row. This was something I could've inferred from his case file, but he acknowledged the realization himself, later, in his autobiography. Because of his learning disabilities and speech impediment, he felt stupid throughout his childhood and adolescence. He admitted that he knew it was wrong to steal but felt he did those things because he was, at the core, "no good." It wasn't until he started writing his pen friends (what he called them) once on Death Row that he began to question why he had such beliefs about himself. He began to grow not only in his faith but also as a person when he met Charlie, an Episcopalian deacon. People who were close to Feltus credit Charlie, Feltus' spiritual advisor, with nurturing a transformation that was complete on the day Feltus died.
Feltus was truly sorry for what he did. Every time I saw him, he spoke of Keith Clark, Donna Ponsano, and their families. I know that his letters to friends and conversations with them often included "the mess," as he called it. But this wasn't a jail cell conversion. From the day he committed the crime, he was remorseful. Even court testimony from the officers who dealt with him days after the murder includes Feltus' expressions of remorse. His last words were an apology to his victims: "I want to tell you, Keith, and the Ponsano family, that I've always regretted what I've done. It was my own doing. After this is over with, I hope you can find the peace to move on."[1]
I recognized those qualities and vulnerabilities about him and was still so removed. My guard remained up, and I was quite conscious of its presence. Although my caution may have been prudent in some ways, I felt guilty about how easily I kept my distance. Perhaps I considered it professional.
One of the most jarring moments was when the Fifth Circuit Court rejected Feltus' appeal and scheduled a new execution date in 1999, his fifth date since his 1992 conviction. I had a moment of queasiness and panic. Only part of that was because he would die. The rest was because he hadn't finished his autobiography. About an hour later, I began to wonder what the next few weeks would be like. I wondered what was going on at the prison, how people prepared for a rare, profound event like this. I wondered how a man who would die in 45 days and had written only half of his story could be motivated to finish it.
[1] Millhollon, Michelle. "Feltus Taylor , 39, executed for killing," The Advocate 7 June 2000:1A and Millhollon, Michelle, "Taylor put to death – Killer apologizes: "It was always my own doing," The Advocate 7 June 2000:1BS


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Speaker: Professor Judy Wajcman
Date: Thursday 27 November, 6.30pm
Ready for Hillary? Portrait of a President in Waiting|
Institute of Public Affairs public lecture
Speaker: Robin Renwick
Date: Monday 1 December, 6.30pm
Open Government in the Age of Total War|
LSE IDEAS public lecture
Speaker: Professor Matthew Connelly
Date: Tuesday 2 December, 6.30pm
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