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The Real Truth about Your Body
Soul-filled Guest Post by
Karen Schachter, MSW, CHHC
There's almost nothing so complicated for a woman than her relationship to eating and to her body. From the time we are young, the messages to look a certain way – and eat a certain way – abound. They are relentless, harsh and compelling. We believe them to be "truth" and we live our lives accordingly.
Yet, the truth is, nothing about these "truths" could be further from the truth!
Here's why:
- We don't find joy and peace in our bodies through restrictive dieting and deprivation (and then binging, and depriving, yet again).
- We don't find freedom in our relationship to food and our bodies through guilt, judgment or shame.
- We don't experience a resolution to our cravings through denying them and ignoring them.
- Hating our bodies never ever leads to loving them (even if they temporarily please you by getting to your "ideal" weight).
- We don't experience the fullness of our lives when we're spending all our time and energy trying to achieve our "goal weight." Instead, we miss out. A lot.
So here are some alternative "truths" that may help you shift your beliefs, your actions, and your ability to joyfully live IN this body of yours:
Your body is the most important, the most intimate, the longest-standing relationship you will ever have. EVER. You are born in her, and you will die in her. Yet, I am guessing that, like most women, you are treating her like sh*t. Or maybe, like others of us, you're simply ignoring her needs?
It's ironic: We women are SO good at intuitively recognizing – and trying to meet – the needs of others. We're great at cultivating relationships. We're gifted when it comes to listening, validating and empathizing with others. Yet we generally stink at listening to, loving, and deeply caring for this very being connected to our head: Our body.
Instead, we ignore her, deny her needs, cut her off, deprive her, overstuff her, feed her stuff that makes her feel sick, call her names, judge her relentlessly; we allow a number to determine how much she gets to eat and we allow another number (on a scale) to determine her self-worth.
(Would you EVER say to a friend, "You GAINED 2 pounds! I am not eating with you today! I am not listening to your needs today! You are worthless with those added 2 pounds! What is WRONG with you?" No you would not. Never. You want your friend to LIKE you!)
And here's another truth: Your body wants you to like her too. She wants you to befriend her.
Your body doesn't respond – and never will, at least in the long-run – to hate, criticism or being starved or overstuffed. Like any relationship, it needs to be tended to with care; to be listened to, respected, and treated with kindness. It responds best, as friends do, to nourishment, love, and acceptance, despite its imperfections.
Once you begin to pay attention and befriend her, your body will give you important clues as to what she needs. From this perspective, your cravings and symptoms are signs that something is not quite right. Just as a child screams when she is trying to say something and you're not listening, your body is trying to get your attention with her cravings and her symptoms. She will keep "yelling" ("more chocolate NOW!!" or "stomach ache…again?") until you pay attention.
Through your listening, and responding, your body gets what she wants (you meeting her real needs so she can stop "yelling") and you get what you want (she feels better and looks better because she is calmer and well-fed). Bodies truly respond kindly to our nourishing self-care.
Although sometimes your cravings may be trying to get a physical or biochemical need met (More leafy greens! Less sugar! Lay off the cheese!), other times, your cravings may be trying to get you to recognize another simple truth: you're hungry for more deliciousness, juiciness, or pleasure in your life. Your body (and your soul) is designed for pleasure, satisfaction, joy. Food – particularly the creamy sweet stuff or the crunchy salty stuff – may serve as a quick and easy, albeit temporary, replacement for your DESIRES.
The only way to begin to love your body is to, well, begin to love your body. To give her pleasure, care, nourishment. To allow her to taste the deliciousness of fulfilled desires, of having her needs met, of being lovingly tended to. Every body deserves this, not just skinny people. And although losing weight and being thin might feel great, if it's done with punishment and shame and guilt, you'll always be fighting. Wouldn't it be much easier to "love" her to her happy weight and optimal health?
As the saying goes, "the truth shall set you free." In your search for freedom, peace and comfort in your body and in your eating, what truths will you hold as self-evident? Which truths are you willing to believe and which have you discovered are downright lies that you're ready to let go of?
I can't wait to have this conversation with you!
* * *
Karen Schachter is a licensed clinical social worker, certified health counselor, and founder of "Healthy Bodies, Happy Minds" and "Dishing With Your Daughter ™" which offer a variety of programs and services to help girls and women experience nourishment, good health and deliciousness in their relationship to food, eating and their bodies.
Karen has combined her years of psychotherapy experience and her knowledge of nutrition to create a variety of holistic programs, including healthy eating classes for children, workshops, retreats and classes for girls as well as adults, mom-daughter retreats, and health counseling for adults, teens and families. Her programs inspire and support people to value themselves, tune into their intuition, and nourish their bodies, their minds and their spirits. Karen believes that "good nutrition" is only one piece of the "health" and wellbeing puzzle. We must teach our children (and ourselves!) that good health and true nourishment come from paying attention to, and respecting, our bodies, our food and our lives.
35 Comments
Heather GrayJune 7, 2010
Looking forward to today's conversation Karen!
My favorite quote from you: "our body is the most important, the most intimate, the longest-standing relationship you will ever have. EVER." So true.
About to feed my body some coffee. Any thoughts on the good and the bad of the caffeine habit? This has been a tough one for me. I've gone off it at various times, b/c I know it affects my adrenals and as a "Yin" type already, can get me racy if I don't eat proper breakfast, but I always come back to it with "well there's worse things I could be doing to my body." Plus I really enjoy it. Would love your input.
hugs, Heather
julieJune 7, 2010
I need more details. time, call in number, etc…
Heather GrayJune 7, 2010
No call in number for our blog events. All you need to do is submit a question via the "comments" and Karen will answer you directly here at the blog.
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Hi Heather! Thanks for having me here as your guest! I'm really excited to have this conversation. I know – I love that quote too – how easy it is to forget about our poor bodies as we rush around through our days and through our lives.
As for the coffee…this is another great example of the benefits of being "in relationship with" (i.e. connected to) our bodies. The question is more: How does coffee work for MY BODY or what is MY BODY telling me about her need/desire for coffee; rather than: Is it good for me? Because the truth is, you will find some nutrition experts saying, "A little coffee is actually good for you" and others saying, "Avoid coffee. It affects your stress levels, your adrenals, etc." So what's the "truth" here? There is probably science that could prove both "facts."
I personally LOVE coffee (the smell, the taste, how it makes me feel), yet I also know intuitively when I am "using" it too much, it does affect my stress levels, my weight, etc. When I feel like I "need" it to function, it's likely a sign that I'm not using it for health, but for a temporary replacement for something else. When we CRAVE something (like coffee, sugar, alcohol, etc) it's often a sign that our body (or life?) is out of balance. What is it we're really NEEDING?
Coffee is a "great" quick fix for low energy, not enough sleep, poorly functioning adrenals, etc. So how can we actually give our body the long-term "fix" it needs (more sleep? less stress? More nourishment in the form of food that really wakes our "cells" up?)
I think these are the real questions: Is this working for my body? how much can I have without taxing myself? Do I feel better with or without it?
Since I am a huge believer in PLEASURE, it's also important to factor that in. if a cup of coffee in the morning is a ritual that FEEDS you and nourishes you, then by all means, it's good for you!!! (Sounds like you just need to make sure you have a good breakfast with it first!)
So…how's that for not answering your question directly?
Heather GrayJune 7, 2010
It's a GREAT answer. And matches my instincts about coffee. It is a big "Pleasure" for me, so I appreciate that you are for giving ourselves those things that make us happy. And I agree — that the conclusions about coffee from the experts often conflict. My own body seems to be telling me that what I am eating along with the coffee in the morning is key. If I go without protein then the coffee can lead to raciness. But if I take the time to have a good balanced and grounded breakfast (an egg with maybe multi grain toast or fresh fruit) …then I am starting my day off well. It's the days I rush through with a quick piece of banana bread and a big cup of coffee …I pay for that.
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
See – it's really amazing that your own body really had the answer! I love that. Sometimes we turn to the "experts" to tell us what to do, when we "intuitively" know all along.
I had breakfast with a woman this morning and she was talking about possibly consulting with a VERY expensive expert about some digestive and other issues she is happening. By the end of our breakfast, she had come to her own conclusion about what she "knew" she needed to do in her diet in order to feel better. She had "known" it all along, but wasn't trusting her body/mind. Once she realized what she needed to do, she saved herself $5000!
(Not that there's anything wrong with experts! They often have great information – my point really is: SO DO YOU!!)
Heather GrayJune 7, 2010
Wow — I hope your friend picked up the tab for breakfast..ha, ha .;^)
but sage words — have also heard as "If you were your own guru, what would you advise yourself?" And often the right answer comes.
G.U.R.U. = "gee you are you"
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
ooh…i love that G.U.R.U. definition!
ha ha- – she actually did buy me breakfast
Susan LyleJune 7, 2010
Hi Karen,
I need some healthy lunch and snack ideas that my children will actually eat. They are very picky!!! Also, do you have any website ideas for easy yummy family dinner recpes.
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Hi Susan! Well- this could be an entire book in and of itself!
I have one "picky-ish" eater myself, so I can relate.
Some kids are picky because they are simply sensitive (taste buds can run in families), while I think we have a culture full of picky kids because there is so much "fake foods" that is SO enticing, over-flavored (with chemicals) and frankly, addictive.
So if your kids are eating a lot of packaged foods, part of adding in yummy, healthy foods, may also involve gently weaning them off of that stuff:) . Many kids find the flavor of an apple or banana kind of boring compared to goldfish, for example.
As for yummy and healthy lunch and snack ideas for kids: SMOOTHIES (coconut milk, mostly fruit, some veggies tossed in – they won't even notice; and sometimes whey protein powder. You can put a lot of goodness in a smoothie and then in the summer, freeze them for popsicles. SO much healthier than the packaged stuff!); apples and nut butter; turkey and cheese roll-ups (I just roll cheese around the turkey slices and stick with a toothpick to hold it together); seaweed (check out "sea gift" on Amazon – delicious – seriously!); home made trail mix (nuts, raisins, gogi berries and a few dark chocolate chips); mango and papaya pieces rolled in unsweetened shredded coconut; kale chips (a kid-favorite: bake kale, covered in olive oil, in oven at 300). How's this for a start?
Other ideas from anyone else? We'd love to hear them!
As for kid-friendly, family-friendly dinner recipes, you might want to check out http://www.thescramble.com.
Another tip: Get the kids involved in the kitchen! I know it's a challenge, but the more involved they are, the more likely they will eat their concoctions!
Hope this is helpful!
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Hi Susan,
Stefanie just posted a link to a website called http://www.OnceUponAChef.com. Looks delicious and full of good kid-friendly ideas!
StefanieJune 7, 2010
Hi Karen! Do you have any tips or tricks on how to maintain balance or consistently reduce stress? I was doing well for a while but hit an overly busy period again, getting little sleep as a result, and noticed poor eating as a result. I know saying "no" does a lot to reduce a busy schedule, but sometime you don't want to say no–you want to do whatever it is and it coincides with other things, etc. If there is any system you use or tips or tricks, that would be great to hear about! Or, something you can do when you know you have a tough week? Or is regrouping afterward all you need to do?
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Hi Stefanie,
Wow! This IS the million dollar question for many of us, isn't it?
First of all, what you said about how stress affects your eating habits is right on the money. Stress DOES affect our food choices (often when we're stressed, we reach for "quick fixes" like SUGAR and ALCOHOL and CAFFEINE to calm us down or keep us going; Stress also affects our metabolism. Our bodies DO NOT metabolize as efficiently when we are under stress. And stress also affects our health in a big way. Ditto for lack of sleep!
That said, I can completely relate to the wish to "do it all." At the same time, I think it's important to realize the toll this takes on us, and to make conscious choices about what we are willing to say "yes" to and how it affects us. I am a "recovered" (well, partially recovered) over-doer! I do a lot, yet there are also many things I've chosen to let go of, that I recognize no longer serve me.
So, Stefanie, as you add things in, are there things you might be able to cut back on? Sometimes our immediate answer is "no way!" but if we look further and dig a little, we are able to recognize some things that no longer give us joy or peace or fulfillment.
When there are those times, which are inevitable in our modern lives, where you just find that you're doing too much or you have "too much on your plate," here are a few things you can do to support you physically and emotionally: 1) Breathe – seriously – you can "trick" your body into thinking it's relaxed (rather than under stress), which can help your health and metabolism, by the simple act of deep breathing. Take 3-5 deep belly breaths. 2) Get to bed early. I know, easier said than done. But sleep will help you handle the stress better; 3) Fortify your body with WHOLESOME foods: good quality protein; lots of veggies (especially those greens) and plenty of water. Try this green smoothie that I had this morning that added a little "zip" to my step: 1 green apple; a small handful of cilantro; some mint leaves; a cucumber; water and ice.
By the way – I'm not sure that "balance" is the goal. I think it's JOY and FULFILLMENT. Are the things you're doing ADDING to your life or detracting from it? Add in more joy, take out those things that exhaust you and deplete you.
Good luck Stefanie! Thanks for writing in!
Sue RasmussenJune 7, 2010
Hi, Karen,
I have always LOVED your approach to food, eating, and loving ourselves and our bodies!
I'm sitting here in a coffee shop, indulging in a rare cup of wonderful coffee while I do some work today, so it cracked me up to see the first posts were about coffee. Most days I don't even think about coffee, yet today my body and soul really wanted some (and I'm smiling at every sip).
So here's my question…in the article above, you wrote about listening to cravings. I find that I crave sweet foods more often than anything else. How can I uncover what the cravings are really about (if my body is asking me to eat more protein, or have more fun in my life, or rest more, or whatever the message really is)?
Are there specific ways to slow down and listen for the messages?
Thanks so much, Karen!!
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
hi Sue! Too funny about the coffee while reading about coffee:) I'm so glad you're loving it!
Ah…the SWEET cravings. Our bodies are designed to crave sweetness; our lives are designed to crave sweetness; and in fact, we have more sweet taste buds on our tongue than any other!! So no wonder we LOVE our sweets!
There is nothing wrong with wanting sweetness – we just want to make sure that we're giving our body – and our souls -what they really WANT.
There are several ways to decipher what our cravings are about: My favorite is to find a quiet place and begin to take a few deep breaths; connect to your body; maybe even close your eyes. Then pull out your journal and begin writing: Dear Body, What is it you're trying to tell me about your cravings for sweets? Tell me everything you can….
And then let your body do the writing. Let "her" answer you. You may get some powerful clues. Is her craving physical? Emotional? Is there something she's really desiring?
On a biochemical level, we often crave sweets when we're stressed (sugar actually affects serotonin, in the short-term raising serotonin, making us feel happier, while in the long-term, depleting it); when our blood sugar levels aren't balanced (perhaps we're not eating enough protein or fat); when we're tired (it gives us a quick lift); or if we have candida (this is a whole other story, which is too much to go into here, but essentially, if we have this yeast overgrowth, we are going to crave sweets because yeast loves sugar!).
However, as you addressed, we may crave sweets because we are craving sweetness in our lives! Is there some "craving," some desire, some deliciousness you've been thinking about, dreaming about, wishing for in your life? Is there some where you could "up" the yumminess factor?
Thanks for writing Sue. I'd love to hear your insights!
Sue RasmussenJune 7, 2010
Hi, Karen,
I love the idea of journaling to my body (especially letting 'her' answer me, as if she's a separate being with answers to share with me!)…thanks for that idea, Karen!
And I'm definitely going to also look at where I'm craving sweetness in my life – I know that's something else for me to address.
Karen, thank you so much for being so generous with your wisdom on Heather's blog today (and thank you, Heather, for creating this great forum!) You are both amazing women!
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
I do think that talking to our bodies almost as if she's a separate being can be very powerful. We are responsible for these beings we are born into!
Thanks for your kind feedback! It's been so much fun being here!
Big hug to you!
JoAnnJune 7, 2010
Hi Karen:
I crave sugar in the late afternoon and early evening. I have tried adding more protein at lunch which seems to help and I recently started having vegetable/fruit smoothies for a snack. I have gone sugarless for 6 months and found that I still craved it (and like it) and went back to have some sugar in my diet ( a glass of wine is sugar). I am concerned about my weight because I have 30% fat which is not healthy although I am not overweight by BMI standards.
Thanks for your thoughts,
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Hi JoAnn,
Thanks so much for your questions. More than any other time, late afternoon and early evening seem to "take the cake" (no pun intended:) as THE MOST COMMON time for cravings. Here's what I hear from clients frequently: "I am 'so good' all day, but then everything falls apart in the afternoon.'
The truth is: When we don't get enough fat, calories, and nutrients during the first part of our day, our bodies will find a way to GET IT (although not always in its healthiest form) later on. Having protein at lunch is a great start, yet you may also want to include protein/fat during your afternoon snack (maybe some nuts with your smoothie, or a slice or two of turkey?). Some people are VERY sensitive to sugar of all kinds (wine included), and any imbalance can cause cravings later.
However, I would also encourage you to think about what else might be going on for you in the afternoons/evenings. Are you more stressed then? Are you finally able to relax (i.e. "feed yourself") and your wine and/or sugar is your way of "giving" to yourself? I find this with many women: We give so much OUT all day long, that when we finally unwind at the end of the day, our bodies SCREAM "give me the GOODS!!" Yet, what they may really want is more calm, more nourishment throughout the day…
Also, you may find my answer to Sue (below) helpful as well.
Sugar is addictive (Sue, I forgot to say this in your post). A little bit triggers a desire for more (and this is true for some of us more than others). Yet telling ourselves it's "bad" and feeling deprived isn't the answer either.
Remember, you always have a choice. You can always have a glass of wine or a cookie, or whatever it is. The question is: Is this the best way to serve my body (and my life) in this moment? How will this affect me? What will best nourish me? You may sometimes choose the wine or the cookie or whatever, yet just be aware that you may need to support yourself with extra nourishment/nutrition in order to prevent the cravings from continuing.
I hope this is helpful, JoAnn. Thanks again for your questions – I am sure so many women can relate!
Marsha RussellJune 7, 2010
My weakest moments are in the evening. I start to graze after a good dinner–usually as healthy as it gets!! But it all goes downhill as I go from marshmallows to Dove squares to popsicles to cookies. It is so depressing!!
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Hi Marsha,
See what I wrote to JoAnn about these evening cravings -they are THE MOST COMMON. So you are not alone.
This may sound weird, but see if you might gently shift the way in which you are seeing these cravings – instead of depressing, perhaps recognize that your body is actually working REALLY hard to try to tell you something. Seriously. Your overeating of sweets at night is an attempt (admittedly, not the healthiest one) to get something balanced. To give you something you need and/or desire.
The TRICK is to see these cravings as a powerful message. WHAT is it you need or desire- what's the first thing that comes to mind? TRUST THAT.
Here are some questions you might ask yourself:
-Am I tired?
-Am I taking enough care of myself during the day?
-Have I had enough to eat during the day (fat, calories, protein, REAL FOOD)
-What do I really need at night?
-What do I desire?
-Am I getting enough pleasure in my life?
-Am I getting enough calm in my life?
-How else can I take care of myself at night?
Truth is, one marshmallow may set you on a sugar "binge" if you are sensitive. In addition, sugar WORKS temporarily to calm us down, to numb us out, to make us feel better. The other truth is, it may not. It may be your mind that says, "oh, forget it! I had a marshmallow…I might as well just have whatever else i want." Which is more true for you?
Busting through this pattern is going to require that you find the right combo of foods during the day that gives your body enough; AND that you find the right combo of experiences (of pleasure, joy, sweetness) that help "feed" your cravings.
In addition, as i mentioned in an earlier answer, it is NATURAL to crave sweets! Our bodies were designed for this, so don't beat yourself up for this! One of my favorite ways to give my sweet taste buds a little happiness is by getting 2% Faye yogurt and putting in unsweetened raw cocoa powder in it and swirling in some stevia. Creamy and delicious especially swirled with raspberries! I also love my coconut milk smoothies with some raw, unsweetened cocoa powder and a frozen banana! Mmmm…OR, rolling up chunks of papaya in unsweetened shredded coconut…a tropical treat.
My point is: Don't hate your desire for sweetness. Find ways to "feed" it – on a body and soul level – that really WORK.
And if you do find yourself reaching for a marshmallow or dove bar, get a plate, sit down, light a candle, and by all means, enjoy it. You will be SHOCKED at how staying present with our foods can stop a binge cold in its tracks.
i wish you the very best. I know how hard this can be.
Cherry NorrisJune 7, 2010
Hi Karen,
Thank you for your great responses today. You've already answered some of my questions in your responses to others.
Twice a week I attend an acting class from 11-2. It's a 45 minute car ride each way so that's five hours without food since we can't eat in class. I've taken protein bars as a snack, but it's not enough and I end up with a headache. I'm not a big fan of fruit and I'm eating trying to be gluten free. Do you have any suggestions for quick, easy, portable snacks that are healthy and can be eaten on the go?
Thanks! You're doing a great job!
Love, Cherry
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Hi Cherry! Thanks for your feedback:)
First, I would fill up a water bottle with lots of water and maybe some squeezes of lemon.
A protein bar is a good idea if it's really good quality, which is hard to find – most are "grown up candy bars" so they're loaded with "junk" and don't always sustain us really well. But you're on the right track with protein. I would take some nuts (almonds are great), some sliced turkey, and since you don't like fruit, maybe some cut up veggies (I was going to say an apple). You might also take an unsweetened yogurt (I like the 2% greek yogurts) and toss some nuts in there. Also, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, you might make yourself a smoothie to drink in the car. To sustain you for that long, I might do: Whey protein powder (good quality – 2 I like are from mercola.com or Jay Robb), some light coconut milk and water, and maybe some frozen fruit (but not necessary if you really don't like the fruit).
Hope that helps!
I always keep some food in my car for "just in case moment!" Nuts are a staple for me:)
Thanks Cherry!
Heather GrayJune 7, 2010
Great snack ideas Karen!!
StefanieJune 7, 2010
Hi everyone, I saw Susan's post about wanted a website with recipes–I thought I'd throw out my friend Jenn's website, called Once Upon A Chef. Jenn is a former professional chef and now a mother of two cute kids. She uses high quality ingredients and knows that when things are too complicated, we likely won't make that recipe! She gives great how-to tips as well. I have made her pea and basil soup, among other things. Here is the web address:
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Thanks Stefanie! I remember this website from earlier! Thanks for the reminder! Everything looks delicious!
StefanieJune 7, 2010
Hi again, I thought I'd share a quick recipe. At a Farmer's Market, I asked what to do with beautiul rainbow swiss chard. They told me to sautee it in olive oil and garlic and add in some raisins. I did so–chopt the stems like celerely and sauttee these first, as they need a little more time, then chop the leaves into more manageable sizes and add them in; I used golden raisins and the dish was great and easy. Even my dad who thought he didn't like swiss chard loved it!
Heather GrayJune 7, 2010
Thanks for sharing the chard recipe, Stefanie. I've never tried it with raisins…look forward to testing that out.
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
I love rainbow chard – it is so healthy and it's so gorgeous! The raisins with the greens sound amazing. Thanks!
MiriamJune 7, 2010
I am really trying to help my 8 year-old daughter make good decisions and "own" what she puts into her body. I've been teaching her about proteins and fat (we eat a lot of nuts and yogurt. We are trying to cut down on cheese and have switched from non-fat milk to 1 or 2% and it is far more satiating).
I do not want to overwhelm her with too much info (i.e., Glycemic index of foods or something), but I find she is still not making good choices. I know it's all about finding those teachable moments, but what's the best way for her to gain the knowledge/confidence so that when I'm not around, she'll make good choices?
What do you recommend?
karenschachterJune 7, 2010
Hi Miriam,
Wow! This is a fantastic question, and one without a simple easy answer.
First, I want to commend you for what you are doing: teaching her and guiding her toward making healthy food choices.
And I completely agree that she doesn't need to know about glycemic indexes or anything like that. However, educating her about sugar and how certain foods -and other things (i.e. sleep or not enough; movement; fun, etc) affect her body can be helpful. Just helping her to make connections. All in the service of reminding her she has a body, and that she can get to know "her."
When you say she is not making good choices, what do you mean specifically?
What I think is true is that, like adults, kids love the taste of sweet on their mouths, as well as how it feels initially in their bodies. It's fun! It feels good! It's forbidden! So we have to honor this desire. At home we can make healthy "sweets' for them to enjoy (last night i made delicious, low-sugar, coconut-flour mini-cupcakes that my kids loved – I'll post the recipe if you'd like it), so we are essentially saying to them, "of course you like this – I like it too. Here's a way to have sweets that is loving to your body."
We have to recognize, too, that they may not yet be able to make "healthy choices" for themselves in the face of other kids eating junk (for example, my daughter went to the movie with a friend yesterday. When she came home, she announced that she had popcorn, m&ms and a slushee. I just smiled with a questioning eye, and asked, "so how did you feel with all of that??" Of course, inside, I cringed (the sugar! The corn syrup! The food coloring), but I didn't want to make a big deal, and it would have been beyond her capacity at this point to say no to that when her friends were getting it.
Having the knowledge and confidence when we're not around happens over time. We teach; we guide; we role model; we honor their desires; we help them make connections with their bodies; we offer things in our house that we want them to be eating (this is a big one – don't have food in your home you don't want her to be eating, 90% of the time. That creates a battle. Give clear messages by filling your home with wholesome foods, and healthier treats). And we pray. We teach them to say "no" in other areas of their lives and honor themselves through all of their actions. And we realize that, as parents, we only have so much control…eventually, we have to recognize that they will have to make their own decisions. Sometimes I say this very thing to my children: You are going to be the one in charge of your body one day. Let's learn about her.
I also think having other people teach your children is helpful. My son has loved the movie Food, Inc (he's 9). They've also loved the Jamie Oliver shows (you can google them). These things teach them and I don't have to be the one doing it all the time!
And finally, if she really has powerful sugar cravings, i believe it's important to make sure there are no underlying "biochemical" issues that might be affecting her: blood sugar; candida; other digestive issues. Working with a naturapath/holistic person can be helpful. If there are other things (biochemically) going on, it really can be hard to make healthy choices.
I hope this all made sense and was helpful!
MiriamJune 8, 2010
Thank you!!! Great info.
karenschachterJune 8, 2010
I just wanted to say good-night and a huge thank you to all of you who participated – whether actively or by visiting and reading. I loved sharing this conversation with you all, and I hope you found it useful. Feel free to email me at email@example.com and share any insights or ideas you may have had. I'd love to hear!
And a special big hug to you, Heather. Your vision to hold these virtual conversations help bring all of us closer to a "soul filled life." You're an inspiration!
Love, and good night,
NancyJune 8, 2010
Hi Karen,
I've really enjoyed reading all of the posts and your responses. They, plus hearing you speak at an event a few weeks ago, have really put me in the right direction toward changing my mindset and developing a more healthy relationship with eating and my body, so thank you! One question I have is that you have mentioned a few times various recipes and snacks using different coconut products. I had stumbled upon a carton of coconut milk where the rice milk and soy milk are stocked in the supermarket and tried it. I liked that it had a thick creaminess without the runny or pasty tastes I find with most rice or soy milks. Could you elaborate on what makes coconut and coconut products a good food choice and what to look for whens shopping for it?
Judy RansomJune 8, 2010
So, so true! Thank you for the reminder!


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The slideshow to the side there is of Requiem who is played by yummy Chace Crawford. Anywho enjoy :)
Chapter 1
"You're me and I'm you!" Zillah yelled; though her voice sounded oddly familiar to someone else's, mine.
There standing before me was... me. How this could be explained to someone who had no idea as to what was going on would be that my sister and I had just switched bodies. No joke, we were now walking, talking and breathing out of one another's bodies. Here I was with long hair and pink pajamas, while my sister wore my boxers and wife beater.
"Now that you have ever so kindly stated the obvious let's try and solve the problem," I retorted back.
Zillah was such a drama queen and she made my body look like a girl. The way she had her hip stuck to one side. Then again here I was slouching and snapping my jaw, which was not attractive for a girl at all.
How had this happened? I have no idea; all I remember was waking up as a girl and believe me when I say that it was different.
"Ugh, Requiem you did this, didn't you!" It was not a question at all, more of a direct accusation.
"Yeah good job, you caught me," I said in a sarcastic tone, "I used my magical powers to switch both our bodies so that I could wake up as my least favourite person in the world. You are one good detective."
She just glared at me and it was weird because for once I was not terrified. Since she was in my body she did not look threatening at all. So this was why she was not afraid of me. I wonder if this made me the terrifying one. I glared back at her. I swear I saw her flinch.
"Hey! You can't use my master glare powers against me!" she barked at me, once again not threatening at all.
"Yeah? Says you and what army?" I smirked, this might actually be fun, besides the fact that I was now in a girl's body.
If this was any other case this experience would have made me a pervert but this case was just disgusting. I did not want to see her... anything as a matter-of-fact. Ugh, why did she have to be my sister! All I want to do is go back to my old body. Where I won't smell like vanilla and wear nail polish. I wanted my body back; I missed my boxers and short hair. Believe it or not but her hair weighed me down. How can people stand this much hair? All I want to do is cut it all off, but Zillah would probably kill me if I did, so... I'll do it later.
"What now?" Zillah asked panicked, she really worried a lot.
But to be honest at this point I was also scared out of my mind. I mean waking up as my twin sister was not exactly my every day routine. You know wake up, brush my teeth, and comb my crazy long hair.
Nope, not use to this at all.
What had happened last night? Onward with the recap!
*Last night*
I walked up to our doorstep after finishing football practice. I was tired as hell; the coach was determined to lead our team into the finals this year. And that meant no slackers and more extra practices, along with a bunch of pushups and suicides. There would be nothing in the way of our victory; I swear I could almost see the trophy in my hands.
I opened the door walking inside, as I placed my bags on the floor and decided to head straight to the fridge. What can I say; a boy has got to eat.
I wonder if I will even get time to finish my homework? To be honest, I want to quit football. You know, take time off to catch up on my studies and just rest time. But with football I have no time. Our team is not just any normal team; we are the real deal which means that more that almost all the guys on the team depend on football for a scholarship. While I on the other hand want to earn it by getting really good grades. I look up to people on the honor roll, they really are my heroes and as much as I want to pat them on the back, I can't. Because I have to keep an image, as much as I hate it I have to. The image is as false as they come. The image is of a star football player who has all the girls and has more friends than anybody else. You know the whole boys want to be him and girls want to be with him kind of thing. Society really puts a lot on your plate and some people can eat up more than others. But then again some people's food is better than others and encourages them to eat more. You know as much as we hate it looks and riches play a big part in our lives. I was just lucky to be born with good looks and a fair amount of money. But I rarely think of it that way, I think it is more of a misfortune. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I were to have to build my way up, if I did not have the looks to catch the popular clique's eyes. What if I was poor? These kinds of things make you wonder and really look up to the people who are able to do these things. It is harder than it looks. I am not brain washed in school. I know the difference between popularity and the real world. Because once I am out of here and I have a job, my status on the hot list or spot in the cafeteria will not matter. No one will care. I know I have a future and I am dependant on my studies. I want something to live up to. Not how many goals I scored in practice. I want people to know that I passed with flying colours on an exam. I want to be known as smart but, society wants it differently. And society drags me back down to reality. Where it tells me that football is all I have and that without it I am brainless loser.
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|Chace Crawford
|as Requiem
|Adriana Lima
|as Zillah
|Sam Way
|as Draven

subset: commoncrawl


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Tagged: Geoff Petrie
Comments from coach and president following the conclusion of the 2012 NBA Draft
The Kings President of Basketball Operations on free agency and his private workouts with Tyreke Evans.
With a little help, Tyreke Evans continues to work behind the scenes to get his game back on track.
A season review of the Sacramento Kings' starting power forward.
Two NBA legends debate the idea of the one-and-done- college athlete.
A funny thing happens when the Sacramento Kings move the ball.
The Sacramento Kings Head Coach will return in the same capacity next season.
James Ham recaps and shares details of his weekend experience at MIT.
After being dismissed before the Kings 96-80 win over the New Orleans Hornets, DeMarcus Cousins made the trip out to Memphis, where the Kings begin a three-games-in-three-nights set, starting with the Grizzlies. Kings President …
A conversation with Sam Amick of Sports Illustrated on DeMarcus Cousins' apparent trade demand.


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From Zac Efron to Michael Fassbender, these eligible Hollywood heartthrobs are sure to get you swooning
Credit: Gregg DeGuire/PictureGroup
Updated: Friday Jan 27, 2012 | 11:00 AM EST
By: Karen J. Quan
More from PEOPLE
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Find out which star unions have stood the test of time as long as these iconic touchstones
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Ready to win over audiences as Peeta Mellark in The Hunger Games, 19-year-old Hutcherson admits to being downright shy when it comes to dating. "I've definitely had moments where I've see a person, and I'm like, 'Wow, there is something different about you, and I really want to get to know you,'" he told Seventeen. "I haven't really gained up the courage to talk to those girls."
Copyright © 2014 Time Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


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view bio »
A group gathered in Miller Plaza on Wednesday evening to offer solidarity to Israelis facing Hamas missile attacks.
Hadas Peled, 25, an Israeli native who has spent the last year as a cultural emissary in Chattanooga, was video chatting recently with her mom and dad when she heard the siren announcing that rockets were on their way. She knew what it meant. Every child in Israel knew what it meant. They grew up running to safety when they heard the wailing.
"I grew up in the shadow of the Israeli-Arab conflict," Peled told a group of about 200 people gathered under the Waterhouse Pavilion. "We've had enough."
Read more in tomorrow's Times Free Press.
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November 27, 2014
June 13, 2013
Crews at the University of Virginia began demolishing Dunnington Hall, a residence building in the Alderman Road area on Thursday.
This is the beginning of the final phase of a project to remove and replace all of the residence halls in that area.
The new housing will be able to accommodate the growing number of students at UVa.
"They have more room to stay and stuff like that," said Lawrence Anderson, an UVa employee. "Some of the old buildings they are tearing down need to be torn down because I think it helps the student body and it helps the university in the future."
The project is set to be completed sometime in the summer of 2015.
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We stayed here for 2 nights and it was fantastic! We swam in the pool ate cheese and drank wine, Lesley is a brilliant host. The chateau is only a 10 min drive from Albi which was by far the city we liked the most whilst touring around France.
Location: France > Midi-Pyrenees > Tarn > Albi
Number of rooms: 3


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Narrow your search
Six years on, the PS3 chugs past another big round number, matching the tally logged by the rival Xbox not so very long ago.
The LG 50PS70FD "Time Machine" plasma is a very good all-rounder, which also doubles as a useful DVR — as long as you don't expect too much from it.
Typical price: $3,299.00
LG is set to release two new plasma models this year, including a model which offers a new recording feature called Time Machine Link.


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David MacNeil has made a boatload of money "wrapping $150 car floor liners in the flag," reports Dale Buss in Forbes (6/16/14). David is founder of WeatherTech, which he started with "a $50,000 second mortgage" in 1988, and is today a $400 million business. After noticing "the poor quality of car floor mats," he "began importing expensive mats from the United Kingdom" and then switched to "an American contract manufacturer." David's next move was to measure each vehicle digitally to produce "a precision-fit liner."
He also designed his mats "to trap water, road salt, mud and sand, and edges that ride all the way up to the top of each foot well — a sine qua non for picky car owners trying to protect their investments. Its thermoplastic elastomers don't turn brittle in midwestern subzero temperatures or break down in summer heat." His next move was to bring all manufacturing in-house, and make a virtue of 'Made in the USA.' He figured "there's a competitive edge to having his factory next to his office and not a half a world away."
David's plan, however, was not just about a 'Made in the USA' advertising message; keeping production at home ensured product quality and on-time delivery to his high-end customers. He pays his semi-skilled employees as much as $20 an hour (the average for comparable work is $16) and refuses local tax abatements because of "strings attached." "If I had to report to a board, there are some decisions I couldn't justify," says David, who is now dabbling in new products, including a TSA-safe plastic belt for men.


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Which presidential candidate is truly pro-life?
A few weeks ago, I publicly defended Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York against onslaughts from the left that accused him of paying off pedophile priests to leave the priesthood when he was the archbishop of Milwaukee. As I explained then, the archbishop was simply recognizing the rights to sustenance that a priest, good or bad, child abuser or not, has from the diocese according to the Code of Canon Law. We might not like it, but sustenance is the law of the church, and then-Archbishop Dolan was following the law.
Now I find it necessary to defend Cardinal Dolan, whose openness and personal character I truly admire, from onslaughts from the far-right, those folks who have created their own parallel magisterium in which the Catholic church sings one note: Making abortions illegal is the highest, truest (maybe only) teaching of our church.


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Socks by Sock Dreams
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Tree Owl Knee High
Curious, bright owls perch on the tree growing up the backs* of these pretty plum socks with contrast brown heel, toe and cuff.
One size. Should fit US shoe sizes women's 6-11 or men's 4-9. Calf stretch in these is about 15 inches.
They run a little short, at only 13 inches from heel to top of cuff, unstretched, but they still fall solidly in knee high height.
Additional Info: Made in Korea.
*please note that we have set it so you can see the side/back view via the drop down list, but to purchase a pair you need to select it from the original "Plum/multi" option.
Fiber Content: 75% cotton, 20% polyester, 5% spandex.
Machine wash in cool water, tumble dry on low or hang to dry.
Label: Sock It To Me
I cannot possibly express the sheer force of my utter delight that your Extraordinarily Longer Thigh Highs (Striped and Solid versions) actually go up to my thighs on my fairly long and very curvy legs. I own four pairs of that particular style now, and plan on purchasing more!
~ Elizabeth G.