text:
He told one of the kids after the fact. Didn't even invite his own kids to the wedding.
DS18 has mentioned how insecure wifetress is. Gee, can't imagine why that is.
ETA: my kids are older so it really doesn't effect them. DS22 didn't care when he heard about the marriage. DS18 was pissed that his dad was so inconsiderate about not telling them before the wedding, and told his dad how he felt. DS18 was also concerned about how I would take the news, but he had nothing to be worried about. I was only surprised that it had taken them so long.
[This message edited by inconnu at 10:45 PM, April 25th (Friday)]
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
'Somewhere' in the midst of my father being unhappy with my mom & starting a divorce process, my now stepmother was also divorcing her first husband. And "somewhere" in the midst of all that, the two of them hooked up. Though I never heard the words cheating or affair as a teenager back then, I and my sister both knew in our gut they were together before our parents divorced. Only last week my mother revealed to me that my stepmom started and expedited her divorce after my dad started divorcing my mom. My dad and stepmom taught at same school together. A couple years ago I learned my mom caught them in a car together while my parents still living in same house/not yet divorced. Out with my mom...in with stepmom. No down time at all.
As adult now, and a BS at that, I see things in a different light. As a teenager, you just didn't question my dad. Actually still can't. But I'm not stupid. It is just what it is. I was awful stepdaughter and hated stepmom. But to her credit she has hung in there with me and loved me like a daughter when I did everything to be unloveable. My sister wasn't so aggressive but she still was hurt by it all. Now over the years...I'm just as close to her as my own mother. And my sister is as well. And that's really to my stepmom's credit honestly.
If I sit and think about it, I get real angry for my mother. I hurt for her. She got the bad end of the stick. Tho to the outside it appears my dad is 10x stronger than my mom- I have so much more admiration for my mother. She endured much humiliation by the way things went down. But she is such an honorable woman.
I hate how my father treated my mother, but I don't relive it anymore. It just is what it is. :/
Now, if my WH left me for AP, I don't think I could keep my mouth quiet like my mother did. Just the idea sets me off on a rant and rage! Thankfully not on table for us. Just posting as one if those kids of the past divorce & remarriage....
Mom M the OM the day her D from dad was finalized, I was 8yo. After my '06 d-day I learned that there had been others. I did know she was cheating with him though because she took us on their dates and to his house to spend the night while dad was working swing shift. We were excluded from the wedding. As a little girl I always thought a wedding meant I could have a pretty dress and toss flowers. Instead we stayed with some of her friends and they watched The Fog and fed us peanut butter sandwiches.
We had a messed up family so part of me thought it was ok for her to hang out with this guy while dad was gone. Likely because I had seen it before with her hanging out with dad's friends. I didn't realize what they were doing while we were locked in a tiny dark room at his place. I was just concerned for me feeling scared and cold.
It was dad that actually worried me. We came home one day to our coffee table chopped up by him using a machete. Another time he took us to find her, driving around in the dark desert. As a kid, that's what worried me.
Did they live happily ever after? Apparently she cheated on him multiple times, even naming my half brother after one of his friends. They D by the time I was 13yo or so. When you see what we saw, deep down you know people are disposable to the wayward parent. I was...mom gave me up without a fight and, after some attempts in my teens, we pretty much are NC. She claims all the other kids but not me.
How did we kids adapt? I never attached to him. I had figured out that mom having a "boyfriend" wasn't right. I connected dad's anger to that, though it wasn't until my own d-days that I got the intensity. Two years later I asked to live with my dad and new stepmom. Mom had already tried to give me to dad but the courts wouldn't split us up. When asked at the trial I kept saying I wanted my mommy AND my daddy. I didn't get having to pick. So once I did, I was with dad and stepmom.
Again, messed up family dynamics meant that even though dad's M lasted longer, none of us have contact with either stepparent now. Yes, we adapted and lived what we could of a normal life. But it's hard to tell where our issues come from because we each experienced our parents doing drugs, alcoholism, verbal and physical abuse, mental abuse, neglect. I suspect sexual abuse based on some behaviors and a few flashes of memory. Those are of my mom doing inappropriate things to me, but I suspect my stepdad might have abused my older sister.
Bro had a kid at 19yo and eventually M the mom. She cheated on him and left him a few years ago but they R...if you call it that. They're together but not dealing with their issues. Sis started being sexually active at 13yo. She cheated on her fiancé and M the OM. He was actually a good guy and I didn't know until after my d-day it started as an A. He kowtowed to her, thinking that he owed it to her for making the choices he did. Around '11 she left him for our cousin and reports are that she's due with his baby next month. Apparently my mom and our aunt are thrilled.
Me, I had one serious relationship, MrH. At 18yo he was my first kiss. He has cheated on me and physically abused me in different ways since we started dating in '92. First it was all I knew but as I stood up for myself, he stopped. First the abuse in '97. Now the cheating. We're at an ok place and I'm focused on dealing with my demons and making sure we don't pass the poison of our childhood down to our kids.
That's where this becomes more comforting for those worried about their kids. I know from my life that having a stable influence can mean so much to a child. There were problems living with dad and stepmom, but it was a safer environment than my other siblings had. I grew up with better insight and boundaries. I just let my desperation for love weaken those boundaries. I'm better adjusted compared to my siblings.
I know that if we do finally D, the kids will be better off than we were. There will be issues to deal with, but having safe parents will mean the world of difference. That's what I see when I read here. Lots of safe parents, looking out for the mental and physical wellness of their children. I'm convinced that though the situations are messed up, having ONE parent do the right thing by them will make all the difference.
My kids are still little-- the oldest is 10-- and they're dealing with it as best they can under the circumstances. The first and most important thing I did was get them into counseling. They also joined a divorce support group at school.
I also told them the truth-- I said that their dad started dating their now-stepmother while he and I were still married, and that's why we had to get divorced. I wanted them to know the truth because otherwise, it was very confusing to them. First, they were hit with the terrible news that their parents were divorcing, and then, about eight months later, they met their dad's GF who suddenly became his wife about five months after that. It was inappropriately rushed, and once my kids understood why, it was easier for them to cope with.
I'm not sure if "happily ever after" is possible for my ex. He's constantly looking for something to fill the void in his soul, and I've gotten little hints here and there that life is not perfect in Happy Unicorn Cheaters Land. But, I'm working toward indifference (what we call "meh" around here) rather than focusing on the dynamics in my ex's relationship. I try to keep my mind on doing what is best for the kids, and I'm grateful that they aren't being abused or neglected when they visit him. Do they like going there? Not really. Their father has totally sold them out for his AP. He focuses on her and treats them like pretty accessories that make his blended family facade look more attractive. They sense that. But, they could be in a worse situation, so I try to keep them feeling upbeat about their visits and remind them that they spend most of their time with me.
If that's the road your WS is going down, just do your best for the kids. Don't assume that they're the perfect couple and living happily ever after, and more importantly, try working on not caring about that at all. All I know is that I would never, ever want my XWH back, so even if he does find bliss with someone else, I would never have that with him, so I shouldn't pine for something that wouldn't exist.
They aren't 'happy' together. They are dysfunctionally functional together...if that makes sense.
They play family EOW to Teslet. They make a big deal out of him having a little sister. Teslet likes stripper whore and she is nice to him. In fact, Teslet wanted to give her some little chochky girl's play jewelry ring that he got from school. So, I guess you could say that he's adapted well.
I've adapted fairly well to the situation too. I think that is the hardest part: realizing that the kiddo's perspective will never be ours. That they will always desire a relationship with both parents despite what wrongs were committed. If Teslet would have given that play ring to stripper whore last year, it would have really upset me. I would have taken that as a slight to myself. But when he said he wanted to give the ring to her this week, I thought what a sweet and thoughtful kid he was. It also helps that he observed that I have lots of jewelry but stripper whore doesn't have any. And the evil part of me hopes that he makes that observation to them too!
end t/j.
As for "happily ever after with their AP", this is questionable. He thinks he is but I understand and hear that it is not all green grass, rather like a cow pasture with spots in the grass of perfection.
He thinks it is better because he's away from me, but people tell me that he actually has a lot more problems then he did before. When I think of it, it's kind of funny.
Kids seem to adapt over time and the ones that I know actually make fun of WS and AP.
[This message edited by Ashland13 at 8:23 AM, April 26th (Saturday)]
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
I'm mixed about it personally. I have moved on and have a better life. But in a way, it's one more ending of that life I thought I would have. That it is her bites a little as well.
So far he has kept her away from kid events. Now that she will have legal status, i am sure that will change. I don't look forward to that. Frankly, he has more to lose, I know about things that she does not. ( like how he was sleeping with us both at the same time)
I guess the part that bothers me is it still feels like she "won". And even though I do all the " well just look at what she actually won" the truth is I did everything in my power to save that marriage and couldn't. More healing to do here, boo.
[This message edited by LearningToRun at 8:48 AM, April 26th (Saturday)]
How do I know they are not happy? First X told me when they broke up the first time (and he was trying to worm himself back into my life ) Apparently his family, who thought whore was so great when he was still M to me, saw her true colors and hated her. This probably had more to do with their friends reactions to the whore. They thought they could pass her off as someone X met after our D. I told one person what really happened and who she really was (his cousin ) and the gossip flew. So the poor muffin was not accepted and by association MIL and SIL felt the heat. He also told me that they fought constantly. She resented that he had to pay me CS and he resented that she refused to share any of her money to pay the bills. But the most shocking thing is that he told me he hit her! In the 20 years we were together he never even threatened violence let alone hit me. So they broke up after a year. Then a couple of years went by and X could not find a job and SIL was sick of him mooching off her so she sent him to live with OW. So now he mooches off OW. When he visited his family over xmas he told his sister that he made a terrible mistake and she then told me that. I changed the subject, but all I could think was "NO shit sherlock! but your revelation came 9 years too late asshole!"
So yes they are M. No it is not happy. And he has completely alienated his child.
It does sting to hear my DD refer to OW's kid as "her brother". Not "my dad's gf's son", or "my stepbrother", but "brother".
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and dont take any shit.
Mum had an exit A and left my dad for the OM when I was eight. There was a bit of to-ing and fro-ing between the houses. Mum and dad tried to R for the sake of us kids which ended miserably, that's what damaged me the most, all the uncertainty.
Mum and OM have been together twenty years now and are very happy. OM, now my step dad, has been amazing. My dad was still very involved with us kids, saw us every weekend so my step dad had to walk a very thin line, being an involved parent but not being a dad. He did it perfectly and I love him very much. I had three fantastic adults in my life and now my own kids have three amazing grandparents.
It was awful and very upsetting at the time, the arguments and the yelling after Dday, I remember it all. As the eldest of the three kids I carry all the emotional scars. I'm working through it in IC at the moment. None of those scars were from the A though, my mum and OM being together was a good thing for our family. They went about it in a really shitty way, but we all made it through.
My Ddays - Jan 2010 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.
Are they happy? Don't know, don't particularly care, to be honest. I do not feel he is a good father to our children, and THAT I care about.
How have my kids adjusted? The best they can. Kids are resilient, and I think do what they need to survive their situation. I had them in 2 years of therapy following the divorce, and back again for 4 months recently as issues continue to crop up because of their father's home.
I have never told them. I honestly don't know how I've had the strength to act so sanely, other than love for my children. My oldest (now 14) FINALLY had a point blank conversation with me about it this fall (he was 10 when everything happened). He asked me point blank "Dad left you for her, didn't he. He cheated on you with her. That's why you never talk about her, and suddenly stopped being friends with her." I said yes, and he cried saying his Dad has repeatedly lied to him when he's asked him, and even angrily told him to stop telling lies around the younger kids (she has 3 kids with her ex).
It's all heartbreaking, but all outside my control. They are thriving in my home, and seem resigned to their situation at their dad's. My kids seem to have adopted my "it is what it is" attitude.
BUT .... I have a friend, who left his 1st W for OW after 9 years or so. He admitted to me that OW was OW, but I hadn't experienced adultery yet.
I found it incredibly strange that my friends 2nd W would never, ever, ever let him hang out alone. I didn't especially like her, so I didn't get it at the time why she was ALWAYS around.
They've been M'd about 7 years at this point. I don't even talk to him, b/c I don't want to be around her. I don't think he's happy, as he's treated like a child who can't be trusted. Which, obviously, he can't be.
I think OW thought having the kid would keep him in line. I have a feeling that if he's not in another A now, he will be soon enough.
They are not happily married because I hear from youngest DS about the fighting that occurs every weekend he is there and Dad frequently sleeps in DS room, or on the floor or on the sofa.
It's a matter of time before they are divorced as well.
Paradise isn't all it seemed I guess.
Caretaker1, are you asking because you are you curious or ???
If you can, borrow the book. Although did not touch on infidelity, I thought it was a very informative book.
When we say things like kids "adapt" or kids are "resilient" when dealing with their parents divorce, we are bullshitting ourselves. They kinda of don't have a choice. I just finished reading the book "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" in which the author follows the lives of children of divorce from a young age until middle age. The author was surprised at the long lasting effects of divorce (not even talking about divorce involving infidelity!!).
This! My father cheated on my mother the first 35 years of their marriage. I knew he did. They nearly divorced over it. I cannot begin to write about the ways it has affected me. Divorce does permanent damage to kids. Of course they survive. No choice. But they're not unaffected by any means.
My husband's daughter clearly has issues with it. She's a lovely young woman who is scared to marry her wonderful bf of 5 years. Us nearly splitting didn't help that at all.
I feel so much pain for these kids. They will never be the same.
My children where just entering adulthood at the time this all blew up and I feel that it caused them to make some really bad choices looking for security.
My oldest I believe likes OW better than she likes me sadly. My youngest is still pretty torn since her dad obviously favors OW's kids over her, I believe it's due to her disabilities personally. He never has accepted them.
Is what it is, but fuck them. I didn't sign up for this crap and it's a stain on my journey in my life.
[This message edited by Caretaker1 at 10:44 PM, April 27th (Sunday)]
They have had struggles just like any other marriage but he seems to worship his new wife. They don''t spend a lot of time apart, not because his wife is insecure, she encourages him to do things without her, but because they enjoy spending time together.
And you know this how? Because people never ever ever ever pretend, lie and Facebook their happiness to the world when goodness only knows what it''s really like.
I haven't filed because I dont have the money to do so. He hasnt either though. He lived with the AP and takes our kids around her family, but he doesn't come around his own.
I want him to be happy, but it won't be with this girl. I truly do hope he figures it out though.
I don't think it does BS any good to say that all marriages that start as affairs NONE of them are happy. Some are, some aren't.
And remember: these are two morally reprehensible people who had no problem leaving emotional casualties in their wake.
So, marriages? Sure, of course. Happy ones, in which the two people will suddenly lose these traits and/or spare only each other their corrupt cores? I'm skeptical to say the least.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
After reading so many stories on SI--allowing for logic to dictate that some "affair-marriages" do succeed--the vast majority of these people are unhappy and deeply selfish individuals. It stands to reason that they will take these traits into the next marriage, which it seems to me are not the makings of a happy marriage.
And remember: these are two morally reprehensible people who had no problem leaving emotional casualties in their wake.
So, marriages? Sure, of course. Happy ones, in which the two people will suddenly lose these traits and/or spare only each other their corrupt cores? I'm skeptical to say the least.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
Dday - August 2012
I filed in September of 2012 (after doing a lot of reading here and soul searching and figuring out while I was working on R she was continuing A).
After battling through the divorce process (again I did all the work) we finalized in April 2013.
She got engaged in May 2013
She got married in Sept 2013 to the AP in the Caribbean.
My kids were not invited. Her parents were not invited to the wedding but were invited to a reception back here, which they declined to attend.
How do my kids deal with it? Better than I did. I hate both of them. I don't know any other way to express it. I hate what she did to me, my family, her family, our kids, friends, etc. etc. I hate him just as much. I feel like a butcher block I've had so many knives in my back. But like others have said here, it is not my problem anymore. Sometime down the road I won't even have to deal with two selfish cheaters. But my kids will always have to deal with them (if they stay together). For them I am sad. Because I don't see any way it can be a healthy relationship.
Oh they will try and make it look that way. They parade around their gym together. But I don't think they are good enough people to beat the odds. Not to mention he's had more than one occassion of domestic issues. So he's a dirtbag too.
I feel for my kids. It has affected them permanently. I have a 12 year old on the autistic spectrum who regressed and is still working his way back. He is sad still and hurt. He just shows it differently. I have an 8 year old who was forced to grow up before she was ready. It's sad. So I can't help the hate I feel for the two of them. All this damage to all these people. Not sure how either one sleeps at night knowing what they did. I guess they don't really care. I should stop being mad and just feel sorry for them I guess.
Sorry for that long winded answer.
Is it the kind of relationship I want?
We all get along fine. I did adjust as a child...I was around 14, I think. I knew it all.
My kids call my dad's wife grandma, she is good to my kids. I will never forget how she made her way in to my family but I will say that she has taken care of 2 of my ailing grandparents and is a key person in my family.
My mom remarried 8 yrs after the divorce and is very happy.
And....he continues to play his internet hook up games.He's now 75 yrs old
Best part he's not my problem.
I talked to him a year and half ago because we transferred title of car to me. He called me for dates he needed 6 mo ago and the conversation lasted 3 min.
I sure in hell didn't loose anything when he walked out but he did.
[This message edited by gma56 at 1:59 PM, April 28th (Monday)]
She only lasted 5 years with him and they have D'd as well, and are fighting bitterly in court now, each one trying to prove the other one is an unfit parent. I'm assuming money and control are at the root of that argument, not the well being of the child.
I have spoken to this OW/soulmate/evil ex recently and she swears he's a narcissist. It's possible.
In any case he's moving on to marriage number 3 now. I guess he really means it this time, that he's found his soulmate. And, as expected, this wedding is hot on the heels of that divorce.
I'm just glad I am so far removed from all that drama
ETA - how did our kid react to it? He's an adult now, and honestly, I don't really know how it has affected him. I focused on not badmouthing the ex, and the second wife (OW) was actually very caring towards him as far as I could tell, she seemed genuine, and he never complained about her. That was my main focus. Now he's old enough to not be too greatly affected by M #3.
I mainly wonder what his POV is on how his dad has been handling relationships? Of course I don't think it would be that appropriate of me to ask him, as much as I'd like to know...
[This message edited by dead_inside at 2:40 PM, April 28th (Monday)]
OW tried to get him to go to sex rehab for his "sex addiction" (I found an email when we were still married from her) but I'm sure he never did because it was a place far away he would have to stay awhile. So that gives you a clue on their relationship.
She's a cheater, he's a cheater. They both drink way too much and think nothing about getting behind the wheel while drunk. They have no morals. He sat my kids down one time when they were living together that she came before them in his living will and they came last. That's who he is and she can have him.
I think the situation you speak of is rare- not the norm.
Ok, so are all the WS on this site that choose to try and better themselves ignorant? Or morally bankrupt? Just as a WS can choose to change and get help. A WS who marries an AP can do the same thing.
Interesting thought but if they tried to better themselves, why would they be with AP? There have been WS who do the work to change and end up in new relationships, but I've never seen two people who cheated with each other mutually agree to change and make amends with the people and lives they destroyed and be better people. It's more like they are stuck with each other.
I guess it could happen but why would they be with each other then? I would think they would move on to a healthy relationship, if that were the case. Not with the AP.
This is such good information and I am happy to be able to see some of y'all's experiences...knowing that I am not alone.
Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so."
That said, he also cheated on her for years. Well, we don't know for sure. But he was always taking out-of-town trips with alone his club and flirting heavily with the women. When she got sick, he quickly moved in with a woman from the club. He told his new GF his wife would always come first and he would always take care of her (thus the daily hospital visits) but still. I think it was pretty obvious.
It's always been weird to me how much my FIL clearly loved his wife while openly enjoying side action. I never understood it.
I may be an OC. I was the product of my parent's second marriage. My Dad had kids from his first marriage that cut ties with him shortly after he married my mom. She swears she met him after they had already split, but I also know my dad's ex wife has a child only a year or two older than me. My dad's dead and any attempt to contact my siblings has been rebuffed, so I will probably never know the truth. They were married for 30 years though, to the day he died. And my mom was always EXCESSIVELY jealous.
There have been WS who do the work to change and end up in new relationships, but I've never seen two people who cheated with each other mutually agree to change and make amends with the people and lives they destroyed and be better people. It's more like they are stuck with each other.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is the likely truth.
There have been WS who do the work to change and end up in new relationships, but I've never seen two people who cheated with each other mutually agree to change and make amends with the people and lives they destroyed and be better people. It's more like they are stuck with each other.
I've seen it. It's uncommon but it happens.
IMHO if the WS wanted to better themselves, they would have ended the M and then start a new relationship. Setting up the new relationship first, ripping the heart out of a family, does make them morally bankrupt, to me.
"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl
Some WS marry their AP and don't cheat and are happy.
I'm sure some do, but what kind of relationship is that? A relationship born from infidelity and dishonesty can never be undone and become something that it's not. No matter how much therapy and talking. They still got together while destroying the lives of others who didn't deserve it. Have a great life.
My Dad is honestly a much better person than he ever was with my mother. Yes, he hurt me, my mom, and family. He left in the worst possible way. We were broke and struggled for a long time. My Mom showed me what strong was and how to forgive and move on. She will never be my father's BFF but she does still care for him from a distance. She knows my Dad did her a huge favor in ending the marriage even if he did it the way he did.
My mother was a wreck when she was married to my father. She has been happily remarried for YEARS.
Because of both of my parent's 2nd marriages I have wonderful extended family on both sides that I never refer to as step or half anything...they are family.
I know my case might be rare when all really does work out for the best.
She lives in Switzerland and she says that she won't just marry him so that he can get a visa to go work there. He has been unable to find a job so he can relocate.
She insisted that she could not remain unmarried in her profession. He caved and proposed.
I'll bet they will marry someday but I think the kiss of death for them will be to actually live on the same continent for extended periods of time.
They both know that the bubble will burst if they actually move in with each other.
X does not believe in marriage. He says that we are only meant to be with people for a short time and then move on.
I'm glad he moved on from me. Did me a big favour.
[This message edited by Lola2kids at 7:51 AM, April 29th (Tuesday)]
I've made a huge mistake - GOB
his mom swears was the OW. His dad denies it and says they were just friends.
The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed
My sister says this about my mom and dad. Although my dad cheated on her mom, it wasnt with my mother. My daddy has quite a few baby mommas. All of whom respect and love my mom and me. I can call on any of them in the same manner I do my own mother. We all can actually.
I believe the WS can change. The catalyst just may not be their current BS. Maybe it is
and maybe that change is best seen in another relationship.
WS moved in with AP 2 or 3 months after D-day. They married almost a year after the divorce(his and hers) were final, I think.
I'm so screwed up that I actually hope they're happy and doing great...
...but he'd better get his act together and come through with the court-ordered spousal support before I have to file for bankruptcy!
My mom (who I believe to be NPD) spent so many years, and so much energy trying to make us hate our dad. She told us icky "bedroom" things and long horrible stories about him and his family. It was always said in away that we needed to "know the truth" about who our father really was. She spend a lot of time telling us how much it would break her heart if we spoke to him or (God forbid) his wife. (BTW, mom married a guy she met at church even before my dad and OW were married).
If se disagreed with something we did we were "just like your father". She insisted we plan birthday parties for the grandkids with schedules for when he could be there and when she could...insisting she was there for presents and cake. One of my worst memories in my life was my son's funeral when she made it all about her and making sure everyone kept "that man" far away from her.
She once told me she hated looking at me because I had his eyes. I was sobbing horribly at the time while driving her home in a thunderstorm...8 months pregnant.
Long story short...I don't speak to my mother anymore. My siblings have minimal contact. Here's the hard truth: My stepmother, the OW, and my dad are literally the happiest couple I know. They travel, they are very active, and we all visit regularly. I never laugh so hard as I do when I visit them. My stepmom is a wonderful person. As much as we hated her in the beginning...I honestly don't know what I would do without her now.
It's a difficult thing for me to think about knowing the things I have been through.
There was a thread here a LONG time ago that I always wish I would have saved. It was about this very topic...something like "Sometimes they do make it"...about sometimes they do live happily ever after...they are better for each other...sometimes they never do get their "Karma". It really doesn't matter, all you can do is be the best person you can be. Anyone remember that thread? It helped me through a really rough time. Wish so much I could read it again.
Ok, back to lurkdom.
So why if they are so happy......
- did he log onto dating sites as soon as we broke up and they got together.
- 3,5 years later he still tries contacting me through several means. No reply my way.
-He has never mentioned her to me, not that I have given him the chance really. But in his long emails, not once has he mentioned her.
I think they are just pretending to live the fairy tale they created in their head. I suspect their marriage won't fall (their stupid sense of pride wouldn't allow it), but it will bring them problems. He is obviously still a cheater. And I would not like to be her at this moment.
There must be exceptions to the story and some affairs succeed and move on to happy marriages. To every rule there are exceptions, but they are just that exceptions.
Now years later I don't care. I would rather be happy and so busy in my life that it is no longer my concern. I know what they did they do too- I am grateful I am not them.
It sounds odd but I guess if they did stay together the destruction of our family would have been worth it. But on some days I still don't get how she got my family but I wasn't married to her. He let this happen and well he is now tied to someone without values- I would never trade places with him.
Focus on your life. There are some that work and some that don't but don't stop YOUR life a wise person told me.
I know this is an old topic thread, but I am curious about a response made by formysister.
Here's the hard truth: My stepmother, the OW, and my dad are literally the happiest couple I know. They travel, they are very active, and we all visit regularly. I never laugh so hard as I do when I visit them. My stepmom is a wonderful person. As much as we hated her in the beginning...I honestly don't know what I would do without her now.
If it is not too much to ask:
1) How did your Dad and stepmother move forward and create an environment where you went from "hating her" to "appreciating her"?
2) How was the affair explained?
3) Did they apologize to those that were hurt by their affair?
4) Did you have family counseling?
Thanking you advance for your response.
I apologize if this is a t/j.
[This message edited by Jada4Max at 7:46 PM, July 10th (Thursday)]
In 2012, the ow told me they were having problems. Apparently, they were both unhappy for years and cheated on each other. My ex walked out on her for another ow sometime last year. They are still married because neither one of them can afford to divorce the other.
It is what it is.
Truthfully, though, I do not know what their relationship is like at all.
So to answer the original question: No, my ex has not married and is not living with the OW. My kids do not care for the OW and rarely spend time with her. I believe they think she is "ok" but just don't enjoy hanging out with her. They seem to be well adjusted, and I try to keep any bitterness or sadness I feel from affecting their relationship with their dad. He is very much a "Disney-Dad" but does keep up with his visitation and child support.
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
I do think that the immaturity of the OW and NPD behaviors of poopsmear have done far more to contribute to their problems than simply the divorce did. Their loyalties were constantly vied for and mind games played.
I think they'd be better off if he had died.


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In this white paper, data modeling expert Bert Scalzo explains how to avoid common mistakes with primary, unique and foreign keys. He goes on to cover how the correct use of these keys is important to the overall quality of data models.
This is the first in a series of three data modeling white papers, including Data Modeling: It's All About the Relationships and Data Modeling: Reality Requires Supertypes and Subtypes.
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Acquisitions - Enstratius, RemoteScan, StatSoft

subset: commoncrawl


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About Us
Fit Living Personal Training is one of Regina's most trusted names in the fitness business. Serving customers since 2008 our result producing personal training, SHRED training, classes, meal plans and workout programs have been keeping Reginians fit for years. We pride ourselves on top notch quality personal training that is unsurpassed in the city.
Our training is unlike any in the city. We incorporate a number of different disciplines and turn it into intense result producing workouts. We believe the body has to constantly adapt to different workouts in order to keep seeing results. You can't rely on the same routine over and over again and expect to see change.
SHRED Classes
Our Pre-Christmas SHRED classes starts November 3rd. This 6 week program includes morning and evening class times. The focus of these classes is intense circuit based workouts that focus on full body results.
All classes are held at S.E.T.S Fitness Centre in the north west end. Class times are as follows:
MWF 6am-645am
MW 6pm-645pm
TTH 930am-1015am
Saturday 10am-1045am
Click on SHRED class link below for full details.


text: Teen Allegedly Kills Man for Cell Phone Then Complains of Phone's Quality Print article Send a Tip by AWR Hawkins 17 Mar 2014 post a comment On February 23rd 17-year-old Byron White allegedly killed a Seattle man for his cell phone then complained that the cell phone "was not a nicer model." According to The Seattle Times, White was charged as an adult on March 4th "in connection with the fatal shooting." Other charges include "second-degree unlawful possession of a firearm and second-degree attempted robbery." According to court documents, White approached 54-year-old David L. Peterson in the parking lot of a pet store and tried to steal his phone. Peterson "resisted and after a struggle, prevailed." As he walked away, he called 911 to report the attack, and White allegedly came at him again during the call. The 911 operator could hear Peterson telling the attacker he would "not give up his phone" and that he was talking to police. The operator said the call went silent shortly thereafter. Prosecutors claim that's when White "pulled a 9mm... pistol from his waistband and shot Peterson once in the chest." The bullet "[struck] Peterson's heart and [perforated] his spinal column." "Court documents claim White said Peterson had seen his face so 'he had to shoot him.'" The same documents say White was "disappointed" the phone he stole "was not a nicer model." Follow AWR Hawkins on Twitter @AWRHawkins. Reach him directly at firstname.lastname@example.com.


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Octomom Stripper Photos: Making it RAIN!by Free Britney at . Comments
Octomom Nadya Suleman stripped down like a pro Friday night at Playhouse Gentleman's Club in Hallandale, Fla., and OMFG there are pics!!!!!!!!!
After months of anticipation and one lawsuit from a strip club she was initially supposed to perform at but bailed on, Octo made her debut last night.
If there were ever a picture worth 1,000 words (well, besides the Octomom porn trailer) it's this one of Nadya Suleman grinding on that pole ...
Even though her time on stage was short - only two songs - the mother of 14 went all out with costumes, props and the like, as seen in these TMZ pics.
Her first song choice was set to Rihanna's song "S&M" (a fitting choice) and in her second, she donned a naughty schoolgirl outfit. BEYOND seductive.
If you're interested, and we can totally understand if you're not, click to enlarge more Nadya Suleman photos from her strip club debut right here ...
Octomom: Would you hit it?
[Photos: TMZ]
Nadya always makes my dick hard. Good job Girl.
@unbelievable....you do know that Riley is just my SNS name.......well unfortunately your a lil imbecile to realize that!...... Anyway.....get lost man....I'm tired of playing a kiddies game with you....I'm sure one of the kinder gardens would love to play with ya!!!!
What does your abc stand for acme bransack company .If you do represent the people you say would they be proud of you using their names on here the way you talk to people.Why do you not get a show on abc if you own half of it .What a delusional loser.
@unbelieveable.....oh honey don't worry....I do have a large portion of ABC....and what the fuck do you know about fashion.......I mean if you really did know a thing or two about fashion than you probably would be a designer!....FaCT...I have a degree and you don't!....so save it BTW....I heard the malls are selling lives......you should get one of your own....since you tend to mind other peoples business!!! Xoxox
@people....correction Person....coz that's what you are.....
Now I would be a " fat ugly lonely loser" if I was you!.......but I'm not....let me just tell you who I am...... I'm a top fashion designer.....who designed dresses for celebs like Adele, Alicia Keys, Katy Perry and Mariah Carey....I also am a major shareholder of ABC......so now you do the math.......if I was like what you described... Would I really be who I really am?....... Let's face it....the only reason your hating on certain famously known people (including me)....is because you aint us!....... Hating on people is a bad thing....you can be as good as we are, if you put your mind to it...anything is possible..... P.S. Riley is just a SNS name...in due time you will be exposed to the real me....just keep a look out on Mtv and twitter :)
@Janet......I agree with you....people just need to back off...
If all a blogger can offer as a credible argument is a critique of spelling and/or grammar? Remember one thing...it's the content and substance that's really important. Playin' the English teacher only shows you have nothing of any real value to offer regarding a genuine criticism.
It's you're. Not your. Learn to spell, fool.
When a women dances at a club,shes a hooker or whore yet a man does it and it is sexy.Double standard.Woman are beautiful and exotic.


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What can a man's hands tell you? Ladies what do you think and fellas what do you also think?
I chose hands, because I definitely will pay attention to a man's hands first, before his feet. Guys have definitely become hip to that whole silly cliche, about a man's shoe size giving you an indication to his, umm let's just say, "third arm size", and believe it or not, just like there have been women who have stuffed their bras to appear larger, there are also men, who will purposely wear larger shoes, with some thick ass socks, to make you think that he's packing? Anyhow, I believe that a man's hands can tell you about him: what he may do for a living or what he may be doing or not doing period. A little bit like the type of car he drives, or more importantly how he cares his car. So, a guy that has rough, pealing, dry hands may not necessarily be a hobo or a guy who doesn't practice grooming and hygiene, but perhaps, he works on roofs, or is a plumber or a handy man? Meanwhile, a man with a pedicure, may not necessarily be metrosexual or even homosexual, but perhaps, he's a manager or in a position where he can afford to have nice manicure hands, since he isn't using them? My point is, I'm not stereotyping a man's hands to find out how much he makes, but really about the type of person he is, and how well he is with his hands. Anybody care to share, especially guys, what are your thoughts?Thanks!
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Well to be honest, hands and feet don't really tell you about the man's "third arm". But if his hands are rough he's probably a hard worker or does some hobby that requires him to get dirty. I do motocross, so my hands get rough and I get blisters at the top of my palm (all bikers do) Someone who's smooth I guess does nice and clean hobbies/jobs. Not much you can tell from looking at his hands, you should instead start talking to the person your interested and you'll get straight facts, unless he's lying of course
well, I mentioned that I wasn't interested in his "third arm", I'm just saying, that the condition of the hands may lead you into who he is as a person, while of course you are getting to know him. A guy's hands may be rough from work and/or a sport, and that might tell you what he likes to do for fun, and why.Jamaica Outtttttttt
- Show Older Hide Older
yeah I am a motocross racer as well and I get blisters and I'm a girl, but I've seen some of the guys hands and, their rough. so I'm not really sure you can tell much
haha it's fine.Jamaica Outtttttt
What Guys Said 5
Not really, it doesn't take into account hobbies and other such things. I work a part time job that requires a lot of hands on work yet I use moisturizing lotion so my hands are usually soft. I also wear work out gloves when lifting weights most of the time to prevent major callus's. Why not just judge a person from their actions.
I'm not here to judge anybody. You are misunderstanding what I am saying. Why wouldn't I want to take the time to get to know a person? That's not the issue at hand. All I'm saying it's simple observation the way that men do it with women, and you all do. A guy may have rough hands, from maybe coaching a little league or something, and that can tell you a lot about him, before he says anything more, and that's great! A guy will see a woman with her hair, nails, makeup done, and assume the worst.
Would you consider a guy (assuming everything else you're on the fence about) based on his hands? I've seen girls talk about this here and there...is this just an observation with girls or is it really a qualifying thing?And yes, his hands can give you an idea of what he does. A lot of the people that I know that are into cars have rough hands. I have sold my cars and haven't worked on one in forever but even then I still had soft and clean looking hands.As for his "third arm size" as you put it lol, I've *heard* that it's the same length as it is from the tip of his middle finger to the very base of his palm. I can't say that it's accurate or not, but just something worth watching out for to see if it's true.
Haha of course I won't only consider a guy based upon his hands. Sub-consciously I may be attracted, as is the case, with everyone, but I was simply making a point, based on observation. As I have mentioned before, I'm not interested in trying to figure out his "third arm" size, but just as insight into him, of course as I am getting to know the guy. A man sees a woman's clothes, car, appearance and assumes certain things, and women see a man's hands, can tell what he does or what he plays...
Ok I didn't know for sure because I've seen hands questions on here and girls seemed to say they "preferred" a certain type of hand. Didn't know how serious they were being lolAnd yeah I get you about noticing things about people. So yeah, I still think you can get an idea of him based on how he keeps up with himself.
What Girls Said 2
I feel like there is a difference between a guy who bothers to clean all of the grease/dirt out of his fingernails vs. the guy who washes his hands and doesn't attend to this. Guys who don't tend to be a lot more lax with their appearance and grooming in general. Also, from my experience, they tend to be a little more rough in manner.


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I guess we know what happens to those gross nappy beaver tails when they get older…they stay gross nasty beaver tails, but turn white. I've got $20 there's at least 1 dead cat entangled in there by the way.
Cause being the crazy cat lady is so 2008.
There have been double digit instances of children with bags on their heads at Walmart and we've got the photographic evidence to prove it. You would figure one would be enough for the few that didn't know this was a bad idea to actually learn that it was. Here little Johnny play with this noose, I've got to pick out tonight's dinner.
Couple of questions that maybe our friends over at WTFTattoos.com can answer for us. (1) How long do you think this tattoo actually took to do? I'm thinking 14 minutes tops. Like maybe the artist had to poop real bad and just wanted to finish it. And (2) How long do you think it took her to regret this tattoo? I'm thinking somewhere around 15 minutes.
People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire.


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Industry forum to look at how technological developments will benefit savers and investors
Related fund data links
A pan-industry group has been created by TISA to provide insight into how technological innovation has already, and will continue to, transform the way people engage with the financial services sector.
The TISA Technology Innovation Forum brings together a range of financial services and technology companies which will consider emerging technological trends from other industries and geographies and assess how they could be applied to the UK financial services sector.
The forum will work closely with TISA's Savings and Investment Policy project (TSIP) to determine how technology can be better used to address the consumer debt crisis and to support a sustained, asset based savings culture which is more inclusive.
Bill Wrest, chairman of the TISA Technology Innovation Forum and head of business innovation at Barclays, says: "This is a real opportunity for the financial services industry to step back and consider innovative technologies that could transform the way people engage with the sector. We'll be looking at how companies in other sectors, such as retail, have used technology to foster a closer relationship with their customers.
"We'll be publishing a report later this year along with examples of technologies which warrant consideration by UK financial services companies. As ever, we welcome views and debate from across the sector. It's essential that we find ways of changing people's attitudes towards financial products and services to encourage long-term saving if we are to avert a looming social and economic crisis."
Kim Holloway, director of engagement, TISA, says: "We'll consider 'cradle to grave' behavioural patterns and determine ways that companies can harness innovative technology in order to increase saving and investing. This is another way in which the sector can start to rebuild consumer trust and re-engage with many people who currently feel excluded and disenfranchised by complex products and opaque systems."
The TISA Technology Innovation Forum includes representatives from Barclays, Bravura, DST, Family Assurance, IFDS, Invesco Perpetual, IRESS, JoinSAM, Legal & General, Metro Bank, Microsoft, Money Advice Service, Nutmeg, SEI Investments Company (SEIC), SWIFT and TISA.
The forum will work closely with TISA's Savings and Investment Policy project, a grouping of 22 leading financial services companies, which is identifying the savings challenges that confront people at all the key stages in their lives. TSIP will publish strategic proposals in September 2014 which will be shared with government, regulators, politicians and consumer groups so that the project can work with them to develop a savings policy and infrastructure that we can all sign-up-to.
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Austin House Rental Photos and Description
House, 3 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, (Sleeps 8)
This lovely three bedroom, two bath home is located in central Austin convenient to UT, downtown, and South Congress. If you are coming to visit Austin's fabulous music venues, to share the memory of a wedding or graduation, a family gathering, or for a work-related activity, you will want to stay at Hill House. This house is located in an established neighborhood with local restaurants and shops. For family entertainment, the Alamo Draft House Theaters, indoor ice skating rink, indoor skating rink, pool hall, and bowling alley are all within minutes of the house. The house has a private, fenced back yard with covered deck that is great for entertaining at home.
Special features of the house include fabulous hardwood floors throughout, granite counters with glass mosaic tile in the kitchen, master bath with mosaic tile and custom dressing area. The living areas are very open while the bedrooms offer complete privacy. There are two living areas, a dining room, and two counter/bar areas with seating in the kitchen. The kitchen is open to the living and dining areas and is fully equipped. The glass sunroom is a wonderfully tranquil garden room that looks onto the back yard and opens directly onto the covered deck. The sunroom also has a lovely bistro table perfect for morning coffee or an evening cocktail. The bedrooms all have ceiling fans, are all separate, and offer maximum privacy. The house has a detached game room that has a Wii game consul, flat screen TV, and foosball table that also converts to multiple games. The Wii is just as popular with the adults as it is with the kids.
Although the house is privately located in a quiet neighborhood, the house is within five minutes of major freeways for easy access to Austin sites, The University, and medical centers.
Keywords: House
- Suitability:
- Long-term Renters Welcome
- Minimum Age Limit for Renters
- children welcome
- non smoking only
- pets considered
- suitable for elderly or infirm
About Cindy Hill
A few years ago my husband and I were looking for a business that we would enjoy when we decided to retire. We started with one vacation rental property in 2007, and we now have 4 properties and manage a fifth. The best part of this business is the variety of guests that we have hosted. Our goal is to offer a uniquely Austin experience in a wonderfully inviting home environment. With our retirement plans still on the horizon, we could not be happier with our choice to offer ourselves as your hosts.
Cindy Hill purchased this house in 2004
Why Cindy Hill chose Austin
Central Austin is so convenient...close to everything. Allendale is one of those 'Leave to Beaver' neighborhoods that you just don't want to miss. Come home to our house!


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Walid Ahmad – Walid Photography PRO PRO
My name is Walid am from Dubai city, UAE. Am amateur photographer, I love to shot landscape more & I wish to be PRO.
- 232 awards
- 481,507 points
- 230 images
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TTPM Giveaway's
The Disney/Pixar Toy Blowout Sweeps
Giveaway runs Monday, November 24 – Sunday, November 30
We're giving some amazing interactive toys from The Incredibles, Wall-E, and Finding Nemo to three very lucky Pixar fans!
Daily Giveaway
New daily prizes for you to win! This week we're giving away a SpongeBob SquarePants Krusty Krab Attack from MEGA Bloks.
Showdown Sweeps
Every week, two toys go head-to-head and the winner gets crowned as that week's Showdown Prize! To enter for your chance to win this week's prize, take your pick – the more votes, the better chance YOU have to win, so get your friends in on the action and have them cast their vote too! And may the best prize win.
Kids Birthday Central Giveaway
Each month we give you the chance to win a great Birthday Party gift package!
Every Wednesday at 1 PM EST, follow the #TTPMlive hashtag for a chance to win toys, games, and other giveaways during our virtual game show! @TimeToPlay will provide the trivia, you just bring your wits.
The Playdate
Get ready for a Friday treat: The Playdate! Every Friday at 10 AM EST, we'll have a new episode full of the hottest toys and biggest prize packs! Can't get to your computer at 10 sharp? No problem. The Playdate will air all week long, and you can enter the toy giveaways at any time until the following Wednesday at midnight EST. Winners will be announced on Thursdays!
TTPM's Monthly Baby Gear Giveaway
Each month we give you the chance to win great Baby gear!


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I placed an order on the 8th of November and I'm a resident of Québec, and I received my order on the 14th! Just 6 days! I'm very Impressed...Read More ->
I have used a few different websites for various magic. I always seem to come back to MJM though, I love the inventory, the prices and of course the...Read More ->


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UK – James Franco Signs
November 20, 2014 by Colin Solan
Filed under England, Movies, Other, Science Fiction and Fantasy, Signing and Appearance Profiles, Television
James Franco appears to sign his new book Actors Anonymous at Waterstones on Saturday, 22 November 2014 at noon.
Meet the actor, director, screenwriter, producer, teacher and author, at this exclusive signing. Please note James Franco will be signing copies of his books only. Copies of 'Actors Anonymous', 'Palo Alto' and 'Directing Herbert White' will be available to purchase on the day at Waterstones Piccadilly, proof of a Waterstones receipt may be required. Please arrive early to avoid disappointment.
203 – 206 Piccadilly, W1J 9HD London, United Kingdom
CA – Nightmares Signing
August 20, 2014 by Colin Solan
Filed under Animation, California, Movies, Other, Science Fiction and Fantasy, Signing and Appearance Profiles, Television
Actor/writer/musician Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother, The Muppets) visits The Grove on Saturday September 20, 2014 at 2:00 PM to discuss and sign his hilariously frightening middle-grade novel, Nightmares!, the first book in a trilogy about a boy named Charlie and a group of kids who must face their fears to save their town.
Special Instructions
This is a wristbanded signing. Please check with the store for complete event guidelines.
Barnes & Noble – The Grove at Farmers Market
189 The Grove Drive Suite K 30, Los Angeles, CA 90036
MA – How I Met Your Mother Star Signs
August 19, 2014 by Colin Solan
Filed under Animation, Massachusetts, Movies, Other, Science Fiction and Fantasy, Signing and Appearance Profiles, Television
Harvard Book Store welcomes multi-talented actor, writer, and musician JASON SEGEL appears at the First Parish Church on Friday September 12th at 7:00 PM for a reading and signing of his hilariously frightening middle-grade novel Nightmares!
Tickets on sale online only at jasonsegel.eventbrite.com. SOLD OUT
Nightmares! is the first book in a trilogy about a boy named Charlie and a group of kids who must face their fears to save their town, co-written with New York Times bestselling author Kirsten Miller.
Sleeping has never been so scary. And now waking up is even worse!
Charlie Laird has several problems.
1. His dad married a woman he is sure moonlights as a witch.
2. He had to move into her purple mansion, which is NOT a place you want to find yourself after dark.
3. He can't remember the last time sleeping wasn't a nightmarish prospect. Like even a nap.
What Charlie doesn't know is that his problems are about to get a whole lot more real. Nightmares can ruin a good night's sleep, but when they start slipping out of your dreams and into the waking world—that's a line that should never be crossed.
And when your worst nightmares start to come true . . . well, that's something only Charlie can face. And he's going to need all the help he can get, or it might just be lights-out for Charlie Laird. For good.
First Parish Church
1446 Massachusetts Ave, Cambridge, MA 02138
(617) 876-7772
NYC – Nightmares Signing
August 15, 2014 by Colin Solan
Filed under Animation, Movies, New York, Other, Signing and Appearance Profiles, Television
Welcome musician, writer and actor Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother, The Muppets) as he signs his new book Nightmares on Tuesday September 9, 2014 at 4:00 PM. Must purchase book at Barnes & Noble Tribeca for entry. Call store for details.
Barnes & Noble – Tribeca
97 Warren Street, New York, NY 10007
NYC – A California Childhood Signing
July 20, 2013 by Colin Solan
Filed under Movies, New York, Other, Science Fiction and Fantasy, Signing and Appearance Profiles, Television
James Franco appears at The Strand for a very special evening with Frank Bidart on Friday August 9th from 7:00PM – 8:00PM
Press Release:
Academy Award Nominated Actor James Franco plays with the concept of memoir in his new book A California Childhood, through personal snapshots, sketches, paintings, poems, and stories.
An actor treads the line between reality and fiction every time he plays a part, and
for James Franco, that exploration isn't limited to the screen—he's also a visual artist with several exhibitions under his belt as well as the author of the widely praised story collection Palo Alto.
On the evening of August 9th, James will join us in the store for a special conversation and signing with legendary poet and academic Frank Bidart. Aside from the achievement of his many collections, Frank's 2002 chapbook, Music Like Dirt, is the only chapbook to ever be nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. James and Frank will be speaking on memoir, California, and their own approaches to their written and visual creative endeavors.
Buy a copy of California Childhood or a $25 Strand gift card in order to attend this event. All options admit one person. Please note that payment is required for all online event orders at the time of checkout. This event will be located in our fifth floor loft space, accessible through the elevator bank at 826 Broadway. In order to come up to the event, customers must have already purchased tickets either through our website or at our main floor registers. Doors open at 6pm.
The Strand
828 Broadway (at 12th St.), New York, NY 10003-4805


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In general, WordPress and Automattic do a horrible job of comunicating the difference between WordPress.com and WordPress.org and how they interact. However, here's a great answer by happiness engineer Jeremy Herve when asked the following:
"I don't fully understand the differences between follower vs. users vs. subscribers."
- Jetpack Followers, also called Jetpack subscribers receive email notifications about each new blog post from your site. You can follow the instructions here to see your list of Jetpack subscribers. Readers have different ways to become Jetpack subscribers:
- They can use the Subscription widget in your sidebar (first option in your list).
- Whenever someone leaves a comment on your site, they can subscribe to your blog by checking the option " Notify me of new posts by email."
- A WordPress.com user can start following your site right from their WordPress.com home page, here: http://wordpress.com/#!/read/edit/
- Registered Users are people who used this form to register to your site. When they do so, they gain access to your site's dashboard, and will appear under Users > All Users in your dashboard. They will not receive notification emails when you publish a new post. If you do not offer any specific features to registered users, I would suggest that you disable registrations on your site, by going to Settings > General in your dashboard.
- Comment subscribers are people who chose to subscribe to a specific post; they will receive a notification email each time someone comments on that post. You can subscribe to a specific post by checking the "Notify me of follow-up comments by email." option when leaving a comment under a post.
Your site proposes one more Follow option (number 2 in your list), thanks to a plugin named "Follow". SInce you already use Jetpack, I would suggest that you remove this plugin, and use another plugin instead, named "Follow Button for Jetpack".
Excellent reply!
The original is found here:


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Anna Sui gold print dress
Gold silk blend print dress from Anna Sui featuring a crew neck, concealed side zip fastening, multicolored metallic print throughout.
Sold Out
Anna Sui's cream crocheted lace 'Ophelia' dress is a cool and comfortable summer style. It has an elasticated waist and a draped asymmetric hem. Wear it with flat sandals and a stack of bracelets. Concealed hook and zip fastening at back 100% polyester; combo: 100% nylon; lining: 100% polyester Dry clean
Anna Sui uses matte and metallic sequins to infuse this little black dress with her signature rock 'n' romance vibe. The mid-weight statement piece is made from tulle with scalloped layers and full lining for coverage. We'll be wearing ours with bare legs and strappy sandals. Black tulle Concealed hook and zip fastening at back 100% nylon; lining: 100% polyester Dry clean
Multicolored jacquard Embellished bib neckline, chiffon flower appliqués, fully lined Concealed zip fastening along side Fabric1: 100% nylon; fabric2: 80% nylon, 20% polyester; lining: 100% acetate Dry clean Fits true to size, take your normal size Loose fit Lightweight non-stretchy fabric Those with a petite frame may wish to take the next size down
Anna Sui Embellished jacquard dress $488 $195.20
By Anna Sui. Textured, shimmered rayon-silk jacquard with polyester chiffon detail; polyester lining. Relaxed shift silhouette with slightly dropped waist. Sheer cap sleeves. Asymmetric hem. Back zip. Dry clean. Imported. Falls 35" from shoulder at shortest center hem. Model is 5'10
Anna Sui Nevan Dress $392
Anna Sui's Resort '15 collection favored fabrications and colors. This billowy, one-shouldered dress has an elasticated waist and tiered ruffles to define your shape. Cut from heart-print silk-georgette , this romantic style is the perfect choice for your next dinner date. Dark-purple, papaya and lavender silk-georgette Concealed hook and zip fastening at side 100% silk; lining: 100% polyester Dry clean
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Doctors turn to drink on MPs' advice
Last updated at 13:55, Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Doctors should routinely quiz their patients about drinking habits, say MPs.
What are they trying to do, keep people away from surgeries?
All very worrying, this government drive into social engineering and life controlling. MPs now think it is their business to dictate what we eat, how much we drink, whether we smoke, what our children should be eating for lunch and – via Mr Cameron's favourite retail guru Mary Portas – where we should be doing our shopping.
Politicians say GP intrusion is vital to prevent an escalation of health problems from excessive drinking.
Anyone identified as a "risky drinker" – someone who regularly consumes more than the Government prescribed weekly limit – would be sent on an intervention course with a doctor or nurse and given advice about how to cut down.
Don't doctors and nurses have enough to do dealing with colds, man-flu, signing off sickies and identifying genuine illness without having to interrogate their patients on lifestyle choices too?
And what patient wants to face a third degree interview about how much they eat and drink when they pitch up at the doc's with a cough and a sore throat?
Cross-party MPs believe it necessary to focus on "risky drinkers" who fall below the radar, because too much emphasis has been placed on teenage or binge drinking.
Almost a quarter of the population falls into the "risky" category of tipplers who indulge just a tad too often.
Factor out doctors under pressure and MPs in their subsidised Commons bars and you can bet the figure would be much lower.
First published at 11:24, Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk
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3. Going deep - Ways to get a fly to fish deep in the water - Global FlyFisher
4. Deep Purple Nymph - This simple to tie nymph has held a spot in my fly box for the last 3 seasons. Purple flies work extremely well in certain situations. For me this purple nymph works well in the spring and fall, especially when fish are keying in on Baetis mayfly nymphs. Tie in sizes 16-20. - fly fishing video channel - Global FlyFisher
5. DDT - The tungsten weighted version of my DT micro nymph. In other words the Deep Darlon Terror nymph. Adjust the sizes and colors and you can imitate pretty much any micro mayfly nymph in any given stream. They are very easy and quick to tie and just plain catch fish. You lose a couple to the river you won't lose sleep over it. Feel free to experiment with color combinations, but I talk about those that work well from my experiences. - fly fishing video channel - Global FlyFisher
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7. Kaufmann Stone Stonefly Nymph - The Kaufmann Stone is a lifelike and super heavy Stonefly Nymph Pattern. The Kaufmann Stone was developed by Randall Kaufmann and continues to be a standard in Stonefly Nymph Patterns. The Kaufmann Stone can be tied in many colors. The Golden (seen in this video), Black, Brown variations are the most popular and represent most of the natural stoneflies found in Western Rivers. The Kaufmann Stone is designed to be fished near the bottom, tumbling among the rocks and boulders in deep pools. The Kaufmann Stone is a must have for any trip in the West. Do not leave home with out them! Follow Us On Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/InTheRiffle Follow Us On Instagram: http://instagram.com/intheriffle/# Follow Us On Twitter: http://twitter.com/InTheRiffle Follow Us On Pintrest: http://www.pinterest.com/intheriffle/ - fly fishing video channel - Global FlyFisher
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Jan 18, 2010 5:05 PM by Rob Kirkpatrick
State officials are trying to control an exploding Asian Carp population.
They're not going to poison them as other states are doing. Instead, they're going to get the fish out of the water and onto you dinner plate.
Wildlife and fisheries has come up with a marketing plan to have the fish in stores in just a few short weeks. The name will be changed in Louisiana to "silver fin."
State officials say they would rather make the fish into an appetizing meal rather than poisoning them like other states have opted to do.
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Additionally, occupational health and safety issues, including zoonoses, should be reviewed by the institution's health and safety committee or office, with assurances to the IACUC that the field study does not compromise the health and safety of either animals or persons in the field. Principal investigators conducting field research should be knowledgeable about relevant zoonotic diseases, associated safety issues, and any laws or regulations that apply. Exceptions to the above should be clearly defined and evaluated by the IACUC.
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(Updates with names of investors in fifth paragraph.)
Oct. 27 (Bloomberg) -- Eight Northern California real estate investors agreed to plead guilty to allegations they rigged bids at public foreclosure auctions.
The investors conspired not to bid against each other at auctions in San Francisco County and San Mateo County, the U.S. Justice Department said today in a statement.
"The collusion taking place at these auctions allowed the conspirators to line their pockets with funds that otherwise would have gone to lenders and, at times, financially distressed homeowners," Sharis Pozen, acting assistant attorney general of the Justice Department's antitrust division, said in the statement.
To date, 18 people have agreed to plead guilty in the Justice Department's ongoing investigation of bid-rigging and fraud at public real estate foreclosure auctions in Northern California, according to the statement.
The investors face sentences of as long as 10 years in prison for violating U.S. antitrust law and as long as 30 years for conspiring to commit mail fraud, the Justice Department said.
Charges were filed today in federal court in San Francisco against Gary Anderson of Saratoga, California; Patrick Campion of San Francisco; James Doherty of Hillsborough, California; Keith Goodman of San Francisco; Troy Kent of San Mateo, California; Craig Lipton of San Francisco; Henry Pessah of Burlingame, California; and Laith Salma of San Francisco.
Ted Cassman, a lawyer representing Lipton, and Patrick Robbins, a lawyer for Kent, didn't immediately return calls for comment. The names of the lawyers for the other defendants weren't immediately available from the Justice Department.
Anderson, Doherty, Goodman and Pessah didn't immediately return messages at telephone numbers listed under those names. A person answering the telephone at a number listed for Campion said he no longer worked there and couldn't provide contact information. A listing for Salma wasn't available.
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November 23, 2014
Imagine the first day of school when you don't even know the language on the wall signs that could guide you to your classroom. That's what faced scores of new students who began their classes Tuesday in Lincoln.
More than 2,100 English Language Learners attended Lincoln Public Schools last year. The designation is given students from other countries who can't speak English proficiently. There were 53 different languages among those 2,100-plus students.
At Park Middle School, 101 English Language Learner students from 15 different countries were bused in on Tuesday. The newest students were helped by others who speak the same native language.
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November 28, 2014
The Mint casino in Sparks has closed for business, throwing a couple dozen employees out of work just before the Christmas holiday season.
A note was posted on the Mint's back door Friday, saying the small casino on the city's main drag had been closed.
Owner Carl Giudici (jew-duh-see) wrote in the note that it was - in his words - "a difficult, but necessary business decision."
The building had been leased by the city of Sparks to Giudici, who had run it since 1984.
Mayor Geno Martini says the aging building probably would be torn down to make way for the city's downtown redevelopment efforts.
Martini says the roof was not in great shape and that's probably one of the reasons for the closure.
Some employees say they were upset because they were not told
before Friday about the closure.
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GENEVA (AP) - WikiLeaks continues to dodge a barrage of online threats as it tries to maintain public access to a trove of State Department cables.
With the site's main server in France offline, it's now reachable through a Swedish server. A Swiss group says supporters are also creating "mirrors" of the WikiLeaks site on their own servers, meaning that copies of the site will remain up and running even if WikiLeaks loses the Swedish server.
One supporter calls it "a test for Internet censorship" that shows governments can't take something off the Web.
Meanwhile, founder Julian Assange remains literally on the run. Assange is wanted in Sweden to face allegations of sexual offenses against two women. He's denies the charges.
In an online chat with a Spanish newspaper, "El Pais," Assange says he has received hundreds of fresh death threats.
His lawyer says he's currently in Britain, but Swiss authorities say to keep his bank account there open, he'll have to prove either that he's obtained Swiss residency, lives near the border, owns property or does business in Switzerland.
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Favorite way to use fish sauce?
I want to use this more often, how do you use it?
Proceed with caution! After reading about adding it to tomato-based meat pasta sauce to boost umami, I added just a bit to a pot, and did not like the result. The next day the sauce tasted better, but it was not an improvement over my standard basic pasta sauce. Supposedly, fish sauce needs no refrigeration but since I use it rarely, I do keep it there. It lasts indefinitely, so I don't feel a need to use it up, unlike many other opened condiment jars and bottles living in my fridge!
I suppose I'd suggest using it in combination with soy sauce - subbing it for not more than a quarter of the soy or teriyaki sauce you'd be using in a given stir fry recipe or marinade..
re: greygarious
Actually, I'm starting to doubt that it lasts forever. My bottle of Three Crabs brand was transluscent amber when I bought it a couple years ago, but I've noticed lately that it is not only opaque and coffee colored now (like cheaper Squid and Tiparos brands) but also distinctly less powerful in fragrance. I need a new bottle, because I no longer trust it to work in the ways that I value.
By the way, I am among those who swear by adding it to tomato sauces, both from fresh and canned. When you say you added just a bit, how much? I would say that for a single dinner for four with red sauce pasta, I wouldn't use more than about a half teaspoon. For me, the effect should not be recognizable as fish sauce. Also, I find that it needs to cook out for at least 5 minutes or so in this application.
re: Bada Bing
Yeah you should definitely refrigerate it because it will increase the shelf life, there's actually a video about it on Chowhound. I thought the same thing until I saw the video yesterday.
re: NO SLICE
I think saw that video, too, which got me thinking more clearly about this. But did they say anything about refrigeration?
re: Bada Bing
"Refrigerate for up to 9 months." Crystallization and discoloration are the signs of age that she mentions.
re: WhatThePho
I can tell you how I *would* use it, if I could ever find it in my area: spicy noodles. I have a love of them, especially in the summer, that makes me want to make them in my own kitchen, but every recipe that sounds remotely close to what I am looking for has fish sauce in it. The minute I lay my hands on a jar, I'm going to tackle Singapore noodles.
re: onceadaylily
And, apparently, I can't permalink worth a good damn, so look up 'Fish sauce for sneaky umami effect', if you haven't seen that thread already.
re: Chemicalkinetics
It isn't a sub for soy sauce to my palate, or at least not 1:1. It's vastly more powerful stuff than standard soy sauce, and I don't think it would substitute most of the time. It would be vile as a primary ingredient in something like fried rice, I think.
I like to think of it as liquid anchovies (which it is, essentially). It can punch up the depth of all sorts of stews, braises and soups -- but as graygarious says, it's surprisingly easy to overdo it and allow it to announce its presence, even to people who aren't expecting it. I snuck some into a chili one time, and one friend asked, "Is this fish chili?" He was right -- there was too much.
Acid balances it -- hence its most famous use in nuoc cham. One of my best friends is Vietnamese, and even he wrinkles his nose at people who douse their pho with big glugs of it. I think it's the very definition of an acquired taste on its own.
re: dmd_kc
You are right. Fish sauce certainly has a stronger and more unique favor than soy sauce. Substituting one for another will not produce the same effect. I know people marinate steak with soy sauce, but fish sauce subsitution will have a very different effect here.
Although they don't taste alike, I think fish sauce is often used in places (by Vietnamese) of where soy sauce would (by Chinese). Whereas Chinese often use soy sauce as a major ingredient in their dipping sauces, Vietnamese use fish sauce like the Nuoc cham.
It is actually quiet common for Vietnamese to use fish sauce in their fried rice. Actually, I don't think most Chinese use soy sauce in their fried rice. Instead, they simply use salt. Japanese fried rice actually uses soy sauce more.
re: shanagain
Many people claim the secret to good vinagrette is a dash of fish sauce.
re: Jane917
I'll have to try that. There's something subversive about me.. I like to sneak "odd" ingredients into things.
re: Jane917
Ooh, I like that idea!
Personally, I like to add a dash to braised greens and also to hearty beef stews.
re: Lady_Tenar
lol@ shanagain
Maybe in Caesar as a quick anchovy sub!
re: porker
That's basically nuoc cham. You can vary the proportions some to suit your taste. I love using it as a salad dressing. Add a tablespoon or so of oil for a vinaigrette effect.
re: rockycat
second the salad dressing!! :) also use nuoc cham as a dipping sauce for spicy chicken wings, potstickers, and crusty french bread. so so good.
Fish sauce makes a great addition to salad dressings, is awesome in all meat marinades, and I also love using it with vinegar/lime/chili/etc for a dipping sauce for anything fried. It's great with fried fish.
I've use fish sauce as a marinade for grilled chicken. Here's the recipe:
I use it in Caesar dressing, in place of the anchovies. Can't remember where I heard this tip, but I swear by it now. I'm not a measuring type of gal, but I put a couple of good squirts into a hand blender container with two cloves of garlic, EVOO and lemon juice. Whiz, then add some parmesan cheese. I *know* it's not authentic, but it's delish and my new default dressing.
re: VikingKvinna
I never thought of this! I'm stealing your tip :)
re: VikingKvinna
lol oops.. should've read the whole thread..
There's a basic sauce that is nothing more than a (I think) 2:1 ratio of fish sauce to minced bird chiles. Keeps forever in the fridge and adds a rocking hit of salt, funk, and heat to tons of dishes. I'll have it on plain jasmine rice or fresh wide rice noodles for lunch. It's in the condiments section of Hot, Sour, Salty, Sweet if you want to confirm the proportions (I'm out and about at the moment and my home internet is dead for some reason).
re: appycamper
ooh... those are three of my favorite things ever. :) And they gross most of my accomplices out, so, no competition!!
Tiparos fish sauce is my favorite store bought brand. It has a yellow label with a red circle on it. It is absolutely fantastic on fried rice. Put it on at the table after cooking the rice and stir it in. That's the only thing I ever use fish sauce for, but it's a perfect addition to it.
re: BKK Brendan
I think if you accidentally poured nuoc cham on the table, I'd eat the table. That stuff can make anything edible!


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Film : Obhishopto Nighty.
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