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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65733622014-10-07T00:49:58.650-04:00YOU CAN GO TO JERSEY, OR YOU CAN GO TO HELLWHITHER APPENSTANCEPete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-24423813051537121972014-09-04T20:59:00.001-04:002014-09-04T20:59:10.297-04:00I dreamed my brother and I had been enslaved and were working in a dingy office behind filthy glass somewhere in an old decrepit building in Jersey City. The slavemasters were a large, talking lizard and its lackey, a giant who constantly wore football gear. We'd been there for years, slaving away, doing mundane office tasks. There was never an opportunity to break free. My wife and family must miss me, I thought. Then one day the football guy left, and, by chance, I tripped the lizard and rammed its head against two pegs that were protruding from a nearby desk. Black blood rolled down its sad face as its eyes rolled, expressionless, in their sockets. I felt victorious at that moment--freedom was within our grasp. With its dying breaths, the lizard told my brother and I just why we'd been enslaved and what the meaning of our work was, but I can't remember a thing about it.Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-90742894832748591792014-08-15T06:27:00.001-04:002014-08-15T06:27:36.844-04:00A couple miserable dreams last night:

- I dreamed I went to Rome, a surprise trip, to visit my relatives. Took the whole family. I was sneaking up on my Italian relatives, who worked at a kind of deli counter in an old stone building. Twas then I realized I had somehow managed the trip across without my passport, and that there was no way for me to get back home. Not good.

- I dreamed the entire office stayed over the one boss's house, like a work slumber party. He had some random client over, as well, some dude from England. We all filed in for breakfast, and the English guy was clearly hungover. Then out of nowhere appears my former colleague Josh and his fiancee, and they're regaling this pained English guy with stories of how, when they went to England with me, I was a drunken mess, vomiting in the streets.

Then me and my coworker Derek leave the breakfast party, and it turns out we're in downtown Baghdad--again the theme of trying to flee a country. Derek and I wander past some weird bondage-like store, which is right next to a Krauzer's-like convenience store. The rest of our party is maybe 20 feet behind us. We pass through the convenience store, which, wouldn't you know it, is manned by cops.

"Hello ladies," one of them says. We both ignore the dude, but his partner keeps going.

"What are you girls up to tonight?" the other one says, at which point I give him the universal signal for I'm gonna cut your throat. Then I say, "I wish this was America, bro. I would kick your ass."

The guy just stares me down as I exit the other side of the convenience store.

I'm standing there outside the storefront waiting for everybody when two more cops come up to me, along with a pasty white-looking guy.

"No smoking," says one cop. I'm not smoking. I don't say anything, but I get what's going on--they're trying to pin some minor infraction on me, throw me in jail, prevent me from going home. It's a trap, and I fell into it. I felt absolutely helpless. I wanted to kick these fuckers in the nuts.

"He's not listening," says the other one, fondling a baton.

Then the white pasty guy, who I'm guessing is like my court-appointed lawyer, so as to give the pretense of legitimacy, rubs the side of his face. "You don't have to answer them," he advises me, like he's some old friend doing me a favor.

I kick both of the cops in the nuts and slug the lawyer. By then the whole Baghdad police force is coming after me.

I wake up.Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-27730831940173533532014-08-07T07:19:00.000-04:002014-08-07T07:31:15.310-04:00I dreamed Jenofur and I and the kids had moved to Passaic. We lived approximately where my grandparents used to live, in an old three-story Victorian home near the park, except we lived on the top floor with see-through walls; you could see out, and everybody else could see in. It was evening, and the orange glow of the streetlights lit the scene.

Jenofur had conceived some kind of scheme whereby she would convince people parking on or near the property to give us money. So we went downstairs and shook down a couple of kids who parked a Jeep on our lawn or some such. They gave us a few dollars and walked away, except when we looked through the bills, one of them was worth $50, and another was worth, amazingly, $157,727 (who knew they even made such a bill?). I said to Jenofur, "Shit, we've got to get this in the bank," knowing those dastardly kids would realize their mistake (maybe they were drug dealers?) and come back and try and get the loot.

So we went back upstairs with our brood, and, sure enough, those dastardly kids came back. And when they couldn't see us anywhere on ground level, they (smartly) looked up, and because of our see-through walls, they could see us easily. I saw them pointing and gesticulating. They were gonna come after us. I grabbed Jenofur and the kids (and the dough) and we amscrayed.

*

I dreamed I was doing capoeira at a roda above some jewelry shop downtown, and I was kicking people's asses.

*

I dreamed I was performing at a jazz concert in a lush, velvet room. I was playing piano, except that I can't play piano, and I was backed by some legitimate musicians (lots of strings). I just banged randomly on the keys--improvisation! Somehow people tolerate it, at least for five minutes. I had pulled it off! My kids came up and hugged me. Then I thought, "I better learn how to play some piano."

*
I dreamed I was towing Katy Perry down a pitch black sewer tunnel beneath New York City. We were looking for the ocean.

*

I dreamed I went, all by my lonesome, on a boat ride around Manhattan. I took strange pictures of ferries almost crashing into wharves, and sent them to Jenofur. I ate clam chowder in crowded bars by the waterfront.

Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-5056811767112780582014-06-16T20:46:00.001-04:002014-06-16T20:46:41.996-04:00I dreamed the intern at work had a kid, and that me and my wife adopted the kid because the intern, contrary to how he is in real life, was a reckless ne'erdowell.

Another kid. Minchia!

*

I dreamed I was at some kind of block party, and I ate some turkey.

Fried turkey.

And it was good.Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-29286886733604689792014-05-25T08:48:00.001-04:002014-05-25T08:48:35.566-04:00I dreamed I was in a school, a giant red brick building. They were doing some kind of capoeira event there. I encountered a number of gringos talking wack Portuguese asking for directions to the roda.

Then I went outside, and Louis CK was there, waving a gun. He was going to shoot himself in the head. I tackled him and wrestled the gun away from him, and he began to weep.Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-85289168253326578382014-05-15T06:47:00.001-04:002014-05-15T06:47:15.932-04:00I dreamed I was in an airport in the Netherlands. It was mostly pink inside, and made of giant concentric pods, rings upon rings, multiple levels looking up and down. Trying to get on a connecting flight. No chance.

*

I dreamed I was in a hotel bar becoming indescribably intimate with Pamela Anderson. I don't even particularly like Pamela Anderson.

*

I dreamed everyone at my job just up and quit.

That was fun.

*

When I was young, I used to daydream a lot, and usually my daydreams turned into grotesque lies that I would tell my brother, Fuzzy. Fuzzy and I would sit on the hood of my dad's car in the street, usually also with the girls across the way. It would be just twilight, and we'd be looking up at the stars and the overhead telephone wires. Like some caveman spinning myths from observed physical phenomena, I'd tell them the telephone lines were actually railway lines for a magical train that would come through town every night. The train would be piloted by a man-sized duck in an engineer's cap, and he would pull up beside your window and, if you were awake, you could get on the train and take it to this magical land that was, essentially, Disneyworld: a giant amusement park and arcade, located somewhere beneath the Earth (I always imagined there was a trap door to it in our backyard). It was vast beyond imagining, and you can play any video game and ride any ride for free, and get any toy that you wanted. All gratis.

Helluva dream, huh?Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-64144499240953760952014-03-16T08:22:00.002-04:002014-03-16T08:22:46.977-04:00I dreamed my family and I were on a flight, returning from a vacation in some tropical place. We were flying low over Newark. It was Jenofur, my in-laws, my two kids, and me on a crowded plane (I'm sure this was inspired in part by the Malaysia plane thing). I noted to my wife that the pilot was flying really low over the city, literally dodging the tops of buildings; she said don't be such a ninny. We were flying into the sunset, and you could somehow see the light. Then we just froze, the plane hanging right there in midair. What happened? Jenofur asked. We hit a building, I told her. There was no explosion that we could see, but I knew for certain we were all dead.

We watched the aftermath of the crash on a TV in an aging mall in suburban Ohio (it was a combination of Short Hills mall and that little walk-through area near the Clairidge theater in Montclair). The crash took out an abandoned building; we had all died, but now we were ghosts, confined to this mall, for some reason. My kids didn't know any different, and just scampered about. There were lots of living people about, and they looked pretty much like us ghosts. The difference was the living couldn't see the dead, but the dead could interact with them, to some degree; if you touched them or threw things, the living would experience the effects of your actions, but you were still invisible. And if you talked, say, to your ghost wife, nobody could hear you. But if you talked into a corner, or against the wall NOT in a direction of a person, the living would hear a distant, eerie voice. We walked around the mall, Jenofur and I, learning the rules of ghostdom. I learned from another ghost that there was a different layer of the afterlife, also--if you grew weary of the world of the living, you would gradually fade until you joined this other stratum of consciousness that no longer could interact with their world (sadly, my father had faded into this level). However there were still some really old ghosts about that couldn't give it up: there was this Roman soldier/ruler who resembled Vlad Putin stomping about, complaining bitterly about the way the government operated these days. He was convinced he could find some ancient artifact hidden in the mall that would allow him to cross back over Styx into the realm of the living and resume his reign, but we all knew he was just nuts.

Jenofur and I went into one of these chain drugstores, bunch of old ladies shopping. I started throwing shampoo all over the place, making spooky ghost voices. Old ladies stopped shopping for a second and looked about in wonder. My plan was to make enough of a ghostly ruckus that reports would circulate about this haunted Ohio mall, and that this would somehow draw the attention of my mother and brother, and then I could somehow get the message to them that yes, we were dead, but it was okay, we were ghosts just making problems in this here mall.

Jenofur just shook her head. Then she picked up a bottle of conditioner and flung it at the wall.Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-79398688122506635492014-03-11T19:50:00.003-04:002014-03-11T19:50:45.510-04:00Did I ever tell you my afterlife dream? In honor of True Detective, then: After my grandfather passed in the late '90s, I had a recurring dream that I was sitting on a beach with him, my father, and old Asian man (I believed him to be Chinese.) It's always late afternoon, and we're sitting under a large tree right where the grass meets the sand. We're in a sort of circle, playing some kind of game--cards or dominoes. The old Asian man is sort of laughing at some private joke, and everybody is at ease. There are other people on the beach, milling around campfires. I know my girl and others are there just out of reach. We play a few rounds of the game, the old man laughs...and that's it.

*

I dreamed Steve Buscemi and I were going undercover, infiltrating the mob. We were going to some large family banquet situated on some kind of giant dirigible with purple leather-lined interiors, and had about two minutes to come up with a plausible, in-depth family history about how we knew each other and how we had gotten there. I was desperately trying to recite the names of the fictional people in our supposed family, but Buscemi didn't seem concerned at all. He was going to freelance, I knew, and that would put us both in jeopardy if people starting asking questions and our stories didn't agree. We got there and everybody greeted us, but then it turned out just to be a scene in a movie. Why had I been concentrating so damn hard?

Steve invited all his co-workers to his place for an after-work party, which happened to be in Australia, like the friggin' desert. We flew out there, people were sunbathing, some ladies topless, koalas were scampering about. Steve showed me his entire collection of pristine Carl Barks comics--turns out he was an aficionado, too. Then he kicked us out.

*

I dreamed i was on some long quest. Me and my kids had been at sea on like this pirate shit for weeks, and we finally put in down this river in South Jersey. My in-laws had a house there, so we hung out with them. I told them we were trying to cross the Atlantic, but ended up just getting lost. They told me it was no big deal, that it took about as long to get down there by them via car. Which I didn't think was true, but it was a nice enough sentiment. I fell asleep in a chair, waiting for the tide to come in.

*

My daughter just told me her dream is that everything is free and everyone is rich.

So there.Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-69331725628038239592014-02-13T15:20:00.001-05:002014-02-13T15:20:07.022-05:00I dreamed we were in the office. Everyone on the staff was carrying on famously, a grand old time. Then my boss showed up with a Doberman, and unleashed it on us all.

**

I dreamed I was in a small, cave-like bar in a train station with some colleagues. We were at a convention, of course, and someone said rumor had it that our keynote speaker was a wife-beater. "Here comes the captain now," I says. "Captain?" My colleague says. "Why didn't you tell me? I hate captains." I thought that was a pretty good line. The guy in question comes stomping into the room, dressed up in epaulets and a giant white mustache. "Try not to look at the backside of his knuckles," the first guy who told us of the rumor says.

Then I was in a sequel to this movie I starred in with Owen Wilson. In the first flick, I am married to this foxy Indian woman, who is then wooed and stolen away by my supposed best friend, who is played by Wilson. In the sequel, I am in Australia working in solitude on a big mansion on a ranch in the outback. The mansion is made out of what seem to be giant children's playing blocks, each a different color. I am filthy and dressed in rags, and it's my job to repaint these blocks various lustrous shades: purple, red, yellow, blue. I look up in the distance and wipe my eyes, and who should I see walking towards me on the dust-filled horizon but Owen Wilson (this is how the sequel begins). He says, "I'll give you a diamond and a dash," which is apparently some sort of reference to a video game that only exists in the world of dreams. I ask him what he's doin here and he tells me that he broke up with my old lady and that he wants my help in getting her back. I tell him no way, that I have to paint this mansion. He looks at the paint and says, "Hey, aren't those your favorite colors?" I explain to him that yes, they just so happen to be my favorite colors, but I don't choose what colors to paint, I'm just the help. And he says, "That's some coincidence."

And that's it. Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-19860878520597707402014-01-11T23:09:00.001-05:002014-01-11T23:09:18.667-05:00I dreamed I went to Staten Island to visit a buddy of mine. I was looking for his house, wandering through a muddy field with power lines running through it. Staten Island was infested with otters that would come and chase you down. I just remember running from this packs of otters, trying to escape.

*

I dreamed I was in my parents' backyard, my wife spraying me down with a house. Perhaps I had crapped myself. It was summertime.

*

I dreamed I was at Tick Tock with my pals from The Circle having brunch. I took a small teacup and squatted down and tried to take a shit in it.

*

I probably have mentioned this before, but I always dream of the same strange city by the sea, a mixture of New York City, Asbury Park, and Atlantic City, vast buildings and highways roaring down the seashore, with strange Neptune-themed decor. Anyway Jenofur and I were on vacation there, alone; her parents were watching the kids. We were staying in this massive three story hotel, the front of which had three massive verandas; it was as long as a city block and the verandas were about as wide, with cafes and restaurants on them. It was almost like a triple-decker boardwalk. We saw a family that we purportedly had rented a beachhouse from the year previous, the Beliz family, a father, mother, and daughter. We pursued them through a gathering crowd, but they disappeared. Suddenly we found ourselves amidst a throng of angry people. There was some event going on inside and the mob found itself gypped and enraged. A riot was breaking out. I reached for Jenofur but were being separated in the jostle. Eventually we managed to slip down a wide stairwell to the beach level, with me flinging myself like Spider-Man over the railing. Some douchebag said, "What, like you did something?" I snuck up behind him, grabbed his face, and pushed him backwards over my legs, bringing him (relatively) gently to the ground and growling at him. Jenofur said nothing. We walked off.Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-53071747960230878732013-11-24T15:19:00.001-05:002013-11-24T15:19:49.577-05:00

I dreamed I lived above this rowdy bar with my kids, and I was the bouncer. I would just slide down a pole and boom, there was the bar. I would end up slugging it out with folks every night as my kids ran amok around the bar and I tried to catch them.

Lots of dreams chasing after my kids.

*

Had another dream where I was in a medieval-style town, someplace in Europe. Giant, complex, crystalline palaces, the streets paved with huge, uneven cobblestones. I was tasked with watching a kid, who looked suspiciously like my son. He would scamper off, crazy fast, through crowds of gaping tourists, and hop on these little stone slides that would carry you through the maze-like town. I could only chase after him, hollering, hoping he'd stop and that nobody would take him or he'd be hit by a car.

*

I dreamed I was both watching and living on Earth, far in the future, where the planet had become uninhabitable. The Earthlings, who now lived elsewhere, would send salvage teams back to harvest usable items; these people would be equipped with neon-glowing breathing apparatus and walk around in robot suits that kind of looked like a smaller version of the thing in Robocop 2, except you could see their faces in them. These Salvagers would need all this technology and lights to see through the hazy smoke that was everywhere on Earth these days. The natural fauna consisted of these big striped antelope-like things with six legs, these living trees with eyeballs that had moving tentacles like octopi, and a race of hairy men like the Sasquatch. Anyway, there's this team that comes down and starts harvesting stuff, except they're spooked by one of the antelopes being eating by one of the octopus trees. And then all of a sudden they come across a long-lost Salvager, a captain from a previous mission that everyone thought had been lost altogether. The captain, portrayed by the lady who played Agent Scully, starts shouting orders and everyone flops over to follow them--they're in shock that she's still alive. And then, once the others are off doing what they gotta do, it's revealed that it's not actually the captain after all, but rather a being that can shapeshift, and soon we're looking through it's point of view, and the Earth is clear as day and we're on a street full of Victorian era homes in Clifton, long abandoned to rot and half-covered with strange plant species and vines. The shapeshifter talks to some of the hairy men--apparently it's some kind of deity among them, and it reveals its plans to destroy the Salvagers and take a ship back to where the Earthlings live and destroy them all. And then it shifts back into the captain and heads off to perform this heinous deed.

Spooky.

*

I dreamed I was a little shriveled up old guy, walking through Journal Square in Jersey City. It's like the '40s or something. Two guys are walking a pace or two behind me, subtly insulting me just out of ear shot. I stop, and as they move to pass me I stab 'em both and they die horribly.

But it turns out some other guy took the fall for the crime, and years later I am some kind of respected businessman in the community. Yet nobody suspects me for the murder, and I finally confess to a local newspaper reporter. Then as the cops arrive to cuff me, I go apeshit and destroy the place, and it turns out this was the opening chapter in my history as an arch supercriminal, and the next thing you know I am part of Batman's rogue's gallery and he is chasing me down.
Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-13929450923218308412013-11-10T16:48:00.002-05:002013-11-10T16:53:51.284-05:00I dreamed I was watching and acting in an HBO miniseries about the making of the movie "Argo" (a sort of frame within a frame). We were a bunch of writers working on Manhattan down near South Street who were trying to come up with an idea for a script. The story starts out with one of the guys visiting a hotel where, a decade earlier, he had his final tryst in an ill-stared romance with a chick played by Nicole Kidman. We flashed back to the earlier time, pre-9/11, and then to present day, where the still-traumatized guy was trying to slip past hotel staff to revisit the swanky room he and his love had shacked up in for days. Only when he reaches the room, it's being cleaned out, and he realizes all of a sudden that it's just a room--it doesn't mean anything, just like that lousy affair. And this is both freeing to the dude but also causes some dejection.

So he heads in late to work, where his cowriters are covering for him and desperately trying to come up with a script idea. And when he finally shows up, drunk and disheveled, the boss (John Goodman) chews him out. He convinces his cohort, all suffering from writer's block, to take a trip out to the wilderness of New Jersey to clear their minds. They go out to a park in the wilds, where they end up climbing a sheer cliff. The writers, none of them athletic, are holding on for dear life. One of them says, encouragingly, "Do it for the art!" whereupon another, played by Bill Murray, out of breath, retorts: "Don't do it for the art; do it for the fact that if you don't do it, you'll plunge 70 feet to your death."

Great line.

*

I dreamed the kids were riding their bikes around the Allwood "semi-circle" near the train tracks. It was combination of that location and Washington Ave. in Nutley, near the Dunkin Donuts. Kiddo was wild, biking along with a pack of hooligans. And Kong, only two, had somehow gotten ahold of a bike and was following them, screaming "Whee!" right through the middle of traffic. I chased one, then the other, then back again, gasping. Cars whizzed by and beeped. I didn't know whether to shit or go blind.Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-23788451855672242762013-10-24T22:19:00.002-04:002013-10-24T22:19:50.576-04:00I dreamed I was taking the kids to see a big fire near our house in Belleville. It was happening just outside the park behind my house, which, in the dream, was much larger than in real life; the park had a four-lane road running through it, and wide expanses of grass. The moon and stars shone loud and clear.

I drove to the fire scene with the kids. Our car was like an especially small Fiat, almost a scooter with a cab, and it was translucent so you could see out at every angle. Inside there was a small ladder you could climb up through a hatch to a clear cylinder on the top of the car; Kiddo would climb up there (I couldn't fit, it was too small) and ride the whole way, looking about on all sides.

We got to the fire, which was burning up a field. A bunch of people were out watching it. Fire trucks poured water onto it. The kids were getting tired, so I said, "Let's go." We got back into the car, but Kong climbed up there into the "crow's nest" ahead of his sister, who immediately followed. They were squished inside like a jar of peppers, but they were laughing. There was no way I was gonna be able to get them out, so I resigned myself to driving home, and hoping they would be safe up there.Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-84964460644903661182013-10-22T18:36:00.001-04:002013-10-22T18:36:02.198-04:00I dreamed my man Richie B. ran amok at a wedding in a giant brown cathedral/dance hall. He was dancing then he went mad. I tried to give him a rasteira to slow him down, but he just bowled me over then stomped on me. So much for rasteira.

I then dreamed I was down in Red Bank. I had agreed to take a hands-on course in firefighting with this private company there. The first obstacle was a mask confidence maze, but it looked like a little kid's playhouse, made out of wood. Inside there was a dark brown, almost purplish swordfish. It was flapping and gasping for breath, and it spoke like a little child: "I want my ma-ma!" it cried, again and again. Next to it was a dead eagle, its feathers black with dirt. Its mate stood over it, weeping copious human tears, creating puddles inside the course. I said, what is this cruelty? How can this be allowed? How can I stand it? Then I left.
Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-47077768068206890592013-10-08T22:44:00.002-04:002013-10-08T22:44:51.276-04:00I dreamed we went down to South Carolina, where, in the dream, my buddy Pig had moved with his family. They lived in a very compact town, very pedestrian friendly, with all these nooks and crannies and walled gardens and shortcuts that you could walk through. In fact, there was a system that told you where the public could walk--they hung a blue button near walkways. So if you had one of these denoted shortcuts in your house--say, a button hanging on a string near a doorway--you might find random people just walking through, perhaps waving to you.

Being as I was down in the South I of course bought myself a gun and went to a fancy mall restaurant and ate a giant T-bone steak, just because.Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-46008944196242366722013-09-30T06:44:00.002-04:002013-09-30T06:45:27.275-04:00OK, my thoughts/quibbles with the Breaking Bad finale, before I read anybody else's (SPOILERS AHEAD, duh):

Everything was airtight. There was no ambiguity here, right? Every piece fell into place (this is consistent with the "Clockwork Universe" vision of the show being promulgated out there.) By the last two episodes or so, you pretty much knew how this was going to end. Mechanistic. And I don't know if I enjoyed that. Too close a view of the seams of narrative.

So is Walt talking to God in that scene in the frozen car? And then the keys just happen to fall in his lap--I mean, c'mon.

If you accept that the show is basically a morality play about the evils that ensue due to Walt's greed and pursuit of all that money, what does it say that he still manages to end up giving that money to his family? I mean, that money is the source of all the evil in the show, right? And he expressly turns his back on the bulk of it at the end. But he still manages to stash that nest egg away. What's the lesson there? Money transcends good and evil?

And furthermore: Are we supposed to be cheering Walt terrorizing his rich former colleagues? I know they're obnoxious yuppie types and all, but (and correct me if I'm wrong) did they cheat him out of his stake in the company, or was their only grave sin the public insult of the Great Walter White? That whole scene seems to be set up so that you're cheering Walt on, in my opinion. But geez.

The scene with Skyler/ar where he basically comes clean about doing it for himself: I get it, this is a conversion, a turnabout after all these episodes, an eleventh-hour epiphany. But of all the outlandish things that occurred in this show, this to me seems the most suspect. In the sense that, in my experience, in the real world, people who operate under that level of self-deception never really seem to come out of it, so to speak. They keep on deceiving themselves ad infinitum. Granted, this is a work of fiction, so anything could happen, but it strikes me as wildly unlikely. My wife mentioned the idea of a deathbed conversion, so maybe. But not my preference, I guess.

At any rate, 'twas a great, truly enjoyable show. Now on to life.
Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-7564486445937399022013-09-29T15:03:00.001-04:002013-09-29T15:03:40.044-04:00Had a horrible dream I was with my family biking down Montgomery Ave. in JC right where it goes under the Turnpike. Kiddo biked ahead of us, across the street to the right. My wife called out to her, but she was far ahead. I saw a guy approaching her in the distance; he was carrying a baseball bat and swinging it menacingly. I made the first of many mistakes. I biked over to Kiddo, who said, "I'm afraid," meaning of the guy. Instead of taking her and crossing the street (mistake #1), I said, "Don't worry," and proceeded, with the courage of the stupid, to walk towards the guy. Just as he passed us, he turned and I turned, putting myself between him and my kid (mistake #2). Now I couldn't see my daughter. The guy tried to swing the bat at me. I ducked and pulled out my trusty knife and stabbed him (mistake #3?) again and again. I ducked under another swing and kept on stabbing, but it was clear he was wearing some bulky thing and the short blade was not getting to him. He discarded his bat, but I didn't flee (mistake #4). He pulled out (of course!) a gun, and said, "Tutto cambia," or whatever the Spanish equivalent is, and aimed it at me. Just then I sensed somebody sneaking in behind me towards my daughter. My wife screamed.
I woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding.
I slept again, and dreamed we were on a plane returning from Italy. My wife and I were sitting next to actress Scarlett Johansson and some unfamous friend. We talked awhile amiably, and kept talking as we disembarked. My wife and the ladies went to shop in some store in The City. I stayed outside smoking (!) with my dad, who was still alive in the dream and was dressed like a combination of Paulie (with the hat) and Mick from Rocky. My dad was apparently in construction, and saw some union friends of his on the street. He went up to greet him, but they called him a rat, and suddenly he was surrounded by hordes of guys. They knocked him down and started kicking him. I tried to get a him through the frenzied mob, but it was know use. I knew he was a goner.
Woke up again. Shitty night for dreaming.Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-29075668507927523832013-08-31T10:54:00.001-04:002013-08-31T10:54:45.874-04:00I dreamed I was eating lots of chocolate cookies and drinking lots of ale.

*

I dreamed I was in hell.

In hell, you are just back in the real world, except your family thinks you are dead, and you are in the body of a stranger, and they do not recognize you. So when you try to talk to them, they just think you are some raving nut and run away.

To make things worse, you have a personal demon, a man dressed in black, who walks beside you but who no one else can see, who tells you what's going to happen and what you have to do, and you must comply. My personal demon would tell me that something horrible was about to befall my family, but I could not intervene. Instead, I had to do mundane chores like shopping, etc., all with this horrible knowledge, and all within striking distance of my doomed family.

Then, at the end of the day, you die, and are reborn anew the next day, in a different body, but it's the same day, different perspective, and your family is still alive and well, and the whole thing happens again, day after day.

*

I dreamed we had another daughter. She looked like a miniature version of my wife, but with bright green eyes and lots of freckles. She was as happy a baby as I could remember.

And we moved over to the area in Clifton near the Allwood park & ride, which had been converted into a development with these sprawling townhouses that were connected to each other by breezeways. The Parkway had been flooded, and become this giant seething river, right on the edge of the development. I kept trying to tell my in-laws, who moved in with us, that it was not good to be right by this river. Remember what happened during the Hurricane? I showed them pictures of the former park & ride, with cars flipped over in high floodwaters, literally a swamp up to your neck. But they said, "That's a hundred-year flood." I just hoped they were right.

*

Then I imagined we had bought another home, and nice two-story Tudor, in Glen Ridge, right near the tall stone bridge. And there was another hurricane, and another flood, so that we were all trapped on the upper floors looking out onto fetid waters. Luckily, we had kayaks.
Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-58295750586465104792013-06-09T15:00:00.004-04:002013-06-09T15:01:19.353-04:00I dreamed I found the Marx Brothers still alive living in Clifton. I accidentally ran into Groucho at the Allwood Library. I convinced him and the others to do one final live show in New York City. Some folks complained; aren't these guys too old? What if they suck? Groucho's family was in attendance at the show, sons, grandsons, great-grandsons. They all had those mustaches. And it was good.

I met the Dalai Lama in a weird bar down the Shore. I held a katana. He asked me, "What about when your children hear all these stories about an indecent man, Jim Teacher?" And I said, "I'll tell them it's because their father was an indecent man."Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-24419860918681440852013-05-10T14:33:00.001-04:002013-05-10T14:33:57.491-04:00Title of book of bad jokes I found in last night's dream: "Read in Peace as Others Commit Suicide."Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-62448633084207714592013-05-10T14:31:00.001-04:002013-05-10T14:31:54.490-04:00Recently read a portion of an interview with Ian MacKaye where he talks about creating this vast digital archive. Now I like the Fugazi enough (in an abstract sense these days; I ain't goin home to listen to Red Medicine tonight), but what is with the need to archive every m-fing thing? And this is not just a MacKaye thing, but seems like the inclination of many if not the majority of artists. The most extreme onanism imaginable, a life lived in a reconstructed past. Think of how tenuous the electrical grid is--imagine now that it was knocked out by a Sandy or something more comprehensively long term. Whither your digital archives then? I imagine a legion of artists on bicycles, pedaling away, charging batteries--'Yo, get ready to listen to this shit...'Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-83716007305658656392013-05-10T14:29:00.001-04:002013-05-10T14:29:34.511-04:00
People will look back on this as an age of wonder.

They will wonder what the hell people thought they were doing, exactly. All the real "work" of the West is done by machines, machines powered by fossil fuels, mostly. People are free to fart around and multiply and pretend they are busy.

Strip away any abstract attachments you may have to your job. For many people, a "job" means getting into a fossil fuel-powered vehicle, driving to a compartment, and pressing various buttons. None of this is essential--not in the way providing food and shelter and protection (and sanitation) is essential, at least. Yet I would venture that the majority of people behave like this is how the world ought to be, even those ostensibly concerned with environmental degradation and the like. On some level, it is nice: sitting in a compartment pressing buttons is less hazardous and taxing, for example, than tilling fields or mining coal. But it is still not essential. It is not work, really.

You gotta wonder...
Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-44995856745870186582013-04-14T16:33:00.001-04:002013-04-14T16:33:26.810-04:00I dreamed they made a Michael Jackson biopic. Starring George Clooney.

*

I dreamed they de-extincted the Tyrannosaurus Rex, but made them rather small, like the size of Chihuahuas. Still, they were ruthless and ended up eating all the sparrows, etc.Pete firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-91354510588740961502013-03-21T21:37:00.004-04:002013-03-21T21:37:50.744-04:00Had some weird dreams I only dimly remember.

I dreamed I was on some '70s-era game show in a deep, darkish hall. The game show host was like a walrus, a fat guy with oily whiskers with a fake smile a laugh. I was in the finals against some old grandma. I think you won, like a bucket of clothes. The kids and Jenofur were there clapping.

Then I had a dream (different night altogether, maybe a week apart) where it was like the '30s or '40s and I was on this creaking ship with the kids and some other folks. We were accompanying this block-headed guy to his home; he looked like a side of beef. I knew he was some kind of molester/torturer, and as soon as we got inside I took out a revolver and shot him in the head, but he kept living; he was some kind of tough guy. He beat me to a pulp and I died, but the kids and other unidentified folks escaped. But yo, my ghost was still there, my spirit, and it picked up the revolver and shot the guy a bunch more times until he finally died. Then my ghost faded away, and that was that.Pete email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573362.post-40085635453837365902013-03-04T22:27:00.003-05:002013-03-04T22:28:31.471-05:00I dreamed it was the '90s and I lived in the town I live in now, which I did not live in during the '90s. I was frequenting a bar which does not now exist and only existed in the dream world and is located up the street from the bar I frequent now, which does exist. The dream place was called the St. James Inn, or the St. James Tavern or such, and had a red dragon for its logo, even though St. James, to my knowledge, has nothing to do with red dragons. Anyways, you go through a glass door on the side of this commercial storefront in a maybe 1 1/2-story mixed-use building, descent into the basement, and there you are. A wood-paneled paradise (side note: how many of my dreams take place in wood-paneled places? I sometimes wonder if I haven't died in some wood-paneled location and my current dream and life reality isn't just the final working out of that last synapse trying to make sense of it all.)

So me, Fuzzy, Jazzman, and my dad are down there in the bar, which has a ton of glass cases that you could imagine them using for those cutie pie figurines that some people collect, except the cases are all filled with beer shteins. My dad is laying on a bed, which makes me think of his deathbed, but then he's up and walking around. The place is steaming up from people yakking and dishes being washed, and I realize that this place won't be here in a few years, the city's gonna knock this whole block down and everything will be different, but it's all good.

*

I recall one brief point in my life, maybe it was the '90s, my early teens, when everything was firing on all cylinders. It was clarity, a time when things suddenly made sense. Maybe it was an illusion, but I feel strongly that I experienced it, a kind of euphoric, almost supernatural understanding of life and the universe, or at least my place in it. And then I lost it. I think this is where the roots of my constantly trying to remember things stems from, trying to scramble back to this mythical lost peace of mind. At first I probably just figured it would be a matter of time, I'd recapture it, but as the days went on the trail became more and more confused, the memory more distant, and the markers I used to try to distinguish that hallowed landscape became covered over, so that even now I am left wondering if it ever was.Pete email@example.com


text:
1) An overly obsessive nature that causes social ineptitude i.e.: Star wars Dork, Car Dork, Computer Dork; 2) Someone who has there own unique sense of humor, fashion, and social awareness; 3) A way to insult cool people; 4) The male whale reproductive organ.
1) That E3 convention is for game dorks. 2) This orange haired girl who never stops laughing at baby fetuses is a complete dork. 3) (So and so socialite, famous person works too), you dork. 4) That whale's dork needs its own zip code.
by Gun Dork May 30, 2005
Someone you might call a dork
Someone who sits around, writing the 500th definition for a word in the Urban Dictionary, as if anyone will ever read them all.
I'm such a dork for writing this.
by rfxvfghtjnjrm June 02, 2005
If a girl calls a guy dork she thinks your cute. If a guy calls another guy a dork he thinks your a loser.
guy: *harmless comment*
girl: "is that a fat joke?!"
guy: 'WHAT?! NO!"
girl: "Im kidding!; your a dork"
girl: "is that a fat joke?!"
guy: 'WHAT?! NO!"
girl: "Im kidding!; your a dork"
by thatexplainsEVERYTHING November 10, 2012

subset: commoncrawl


text:
CHICAGO – The awesomeness of history loses any of its stuffiness with the incredibly fun, indeed educational show "Drunk History" from Comedy Central, its two seasons now released on DVD. Hosted by its creator Derek Waters, the show is a celebration of various historic figures and their under-appreciated true tales, as expressed by funny people narrating in the universal language of inebriation; their recounts are then reenacted by famous actors working with their given dialogue, dressed with the comic cheapness of a bloated biopic.
John Slattery
Philip Seymour Hoffman Lives Again in 'God's Pocket'Submitted by PatrickMcD on May 20, 2014 - 10:34am
Rating: 3.0/5.0
CHICAGO – Watching Philip Seymour Hoffman perform, now that he has passed on, is a bittersweet reminder of his ability and power to embody his deeply felt characters. He does it again in one of his last roles, adding his special brand of acting to the messy story within the gritty noir drama, "God's Pocket."
Chemistry of Matt Damon, Emily Blunt Drives 'The Adjustment Bureau'Submitted by BrianTT on March 3, 2011 - 7:31pm
Rating: 4.0/5.0
CHICAGO – George Nolfi's "The Adjustment Bureau," starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, is a nearly-great movie, a rare piece that merges romance and science fiction into something that is at-times mesmerizing. A few hiccups in the screenwriting late in the film hold it back from its true potential but this is still worth a look for genre fans and even those usually uninterested in the genre.
Despite Some Superfluous Story, 'Iron Man 2' Delivers Hollywood OomphSubmitted by HollywoodChicago.com on May 7, 2010 - 11:42am
Rating: 3.5/5.0
CHICAGO – "Iron Man 2" with returner Robert Downey Jr. and newcomer Scarlett Johansson does what it can within the confines of what it has to do. The Hollywood machine has trained us to have certain expectations for blockbuster sequels and "Iron Man 2" neither deviates nor blazes new territory.


text:
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Do I look
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text:
db x-trackers II Swiss Franc Cash 1C
The investment seeks to track the performance of the Deutsche Bank Swiss Overnight Money Market index. The Board of Directors may declare dividends in relation to the fund. The fund will invest in transferable securities and/or secured and/or unsecured cash deposits and could use derivative techniques such as index swap agreements negotiated at arm's length with the Swap Counterparty (the "OTC swap transaction"), all in accordance with the Investment Restrictions.
Key stats
|Management firm
|db x-trackers
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|State Street Bank Luxembourg S.A.
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Funds Disclaimer© 2011 - Morningstar UK Limited. All Rights Reserved. The information contained herein: (1) is proprietary to Morningstar; (2) may not be copied or distributed (save (i) as incidentally necessary in the course of viewing it on-line (ii) in the course of printing off single copies of web pages on which it appears for the use of those authorised to view it on-line), or adapted in any way (3) is not warranted to be accurate, complete or timely. This Morningstar-sourced information is provided to you by GFM Ltd and is at your own risk. You agree that Morningstar and or GFM Ltd are not responsible for any damages or losses arising from any use of this information and that the information must not be relied upon by you the user without appropriate verification. GFM Ltd informs you as follows: (i) The information provided should not form the sole basis of any investment decision (ii) no investment decision should be made in relation to any of the information provided other than on the advice of a professional financial advisor; (iii) past performance is no guarantee of future results; and (iv) the value and income derived from investments can go down as well as up.
For fund additions and/or data corrections please contact firstname.lastname@example.com
Ratings Disclaimer© 2010 - 2011 Morningstar UK Limited. All Rights Reserved. The information contained herein: (1) is proprietary to Morningstar and/or its content providers; (2) may not be copied or distributed; and (3) is not warranted to be accurate, complete or timely. Neither Morningstar nor its content providers are responsible for any damages or losses arising from any use of this information. Past performance is no guarantee of future results.
For fund additions and/or data corrections please contact firstname.lastname@example.com


text:
Will My Partner Get Hpv If I Am Infected
Here's a taste of what TheBody.com has to offer on this topic:
Get the Facts
Human Papillomavirus (HPV)What Is HPV? How Can HPV Be Detected? Can HPV Infection Be Prevented? How Are HPV Infections Treated? The Bottom Line NOTE: In the U.S., counseling and referrals are available on a national human papillomavirus (HPV) hotline. Call toll-free at 877-HPV-5868 (877-478-5868). What Is HPV? Genital human papilloma virus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI). There are over 120 HPV types. One study found HPV in 77%...
Ask the Experts
GARDASIL FOR PEOPLE WITH HPV (GARDASIL VACCINE) (HPV VACCINE FOR THOSE ALREADY INFECTED WITH HPV, 2008)Hello Dr. Francisco, Im a 24yr old male who recently found out has HPV, as a consequence my girlfriend also has it, but anyway my in my desperation to find information about it I found this site, question is: would it hurt just to try GARDASIL, you...
Response from Robert J. Frascino, M.D.
The Robert James Frascino AIDS FoundationHello,Actually, my name if Frascino, not Francisco. So you can call me Dr. Bob.Regarding HPV, there are many different variants. But only a very few are associated with the subsequent development of cancer. The million dollar question remains... Read more »
Gardasil (HPV) vaccine for those already with HPV (HPV Vaccine for MEN) (GARDASIL) VACCINE (HPV)I'm a 43 year old man with HPV already, awaiting biopsy results to see if I have anal cancer as we speak. Is it a waist of time and resources to get the Gardasil (HPV) vaccine at this time, or will it help down the road whether I have anal...
Response from Robert J. Frascino, M.D.
The Robert James Frascino AIDS FoundationHello,Gardasil is a preventative, not a therapeutic vaccine. Consequently if you already have the HPV strains contained within the vaccine, getting inoculated will not provide any help. I'll reprint some information about Gardasil from the... Read more »
hpv infection (HPV, HUMAN PAPILLOMA VIRUS AND HIV/AIDS, 2010)hello Dr. Frascino, I know that HIV is more your area of expertise but I was wondering if you knew anything about hpv. I was diagnosed with hpv about 10 years ago and was reading recently that some percentage of people actually clear the infection,...
Response from Robert J. Frascino, M.D.
The Robert James Frascino AIDS FoundationHi Anonymous,There are many different types of HPV (30-40 varieties). Over half of all sexually active folks become infected with some type of HPV. In 90% of these cases the body's immune system completely clears the infection. (See below.)Hope... Read more »
If my partner has HPV, am I guaranteed to get it?If someone were to have sex with someone who has HPV, is it guaranteed that the other person will get it? ...
Response from Bruce Dezube, M.D.
Harvard Medical SchoolHPV is the human papillomavirus (also known as the wart virus). As with any virus, not everyone who comes into contact with it will catch it. Furthermore even if you were to become HPV infected, the majority of patients will actually completely... Read more »
Connect With Others
Yeast infections, BV, and HPV
Posted by Anonymous, 4 RepliesI am starting to go crazy here thinking I may have HIV. I was told about two years ago that I had HPV which gave me an abnormal pap smear. A colposcopy was done that showed I had mild dysplasia. My pap and hpv test last year showed a negative... Read more »
HPV/Genital Warts
Posted by Anonymous, 2 RepliesHey, Whats up? My girl friend whom I've been with for a year now, recently got a pap smear done and she came up positive for HPV (abnormal cells). Me myself had been tested for STD's and a Visual Check up for HPV and in all tests I came up negative.... Read more »
HIV and HPV
Posted by Anonymous, 2 RepliesHello All,
I had a high risk exposure to a female sex worker, since this risk I have had many symptoms that have for the most part cleared. Before this encounter for oh see two years, i have had a plantar wart on the bottom of my foot. I just... Read more »
HPV+ Herpes Outbreak+ Oral sex w/ HIV+ parter=HIV?
Posted by Anonymous, 1 ReplyI received oral sex from a girl who is HIV+. I have some genital warts from HPV and had a Herpes Outbreak at the time. Am I infected with HIV? What are my chanes? Are there any documented cases or could I be a first? I am married and need URGENT... Read more »
Guides for People With HIV


text:
What to do with a package of frozen pork spare ribs...
- l
- Lady_Tenar Sep 27, 2013 06:22 PM
that have been kicking around my freezer for a while. I know these are great on the barbecue but, unfortunately, I don't have the space or equipment to barbecue. So does anyone have a good recipe for spare ribs that can be made in the kitchen? A braised dish perhaps? Would it be a waste to make a good pork stock with them? Any ideas welcome!
You could braise them down to a "pulled pork" style product, either stove top or slow cooker. A good BBQ style sauce for flavor augmentation.
From Molly Stevens ALL ABOUT BAISING
I liked these HONEY-GLAZED FIVE-SPICE BABY BACK RIBS
these RIBS IN VIETNAMESE CARAMEL SAUCE type ribs http://www.foodmayhem.com/2009/10/bab...
Are they country style ribs or spare ribs? If country style, you can cut them in cubes, brown them in a heavy dutch oven or sauce pot with a little oil then braise them with root veggies & potatoes for a pork stew. I usually make a gravy to braise them in which includes a bit of mustard and apple juice; add diced apples about 30 minutes before its done....so good! Start on the stove and put the pot in the oven to finish it.
re: Cherylptw
I'm pretty sure they are spare ribs. But I like the idea of using some kind of apple product--I like braise bone-in pork chops in hard cider. I don't know if that would work with these though.
Bake them low and slow for a few hours on a broiler pan, covering the ribs with foil sealed well around the edges. When they are almost falling off the bone, and a little crispy around the edges, bast on some BBQ sauce and bake uncovered for another 15 minutes or so.
A few weeks ago I did black beans in a crockpot and dropped in some country ribs. I don't see why it wouldn't work with spare ribs. I seasoned with garlic, allspice, peppers, and cider vinegar plus a little vegetable broth.
I'm liking some of these ideas! One thing I am definitely curious about though is how spareribs turn out when braised. They are not super-meaty so they lend themselves very well to barbecue but I have hard time picturing how they would work in a braised dish. Do you pull the meat off the bones (and pitch the bones) before serving or serve them bone-in and cut the meat off the bones at the table with a fork and knife? I would guess that you wouldn't pick them up with your hands like you would when they're barbecued.
re: Lady_Tenar
I've made the ribs and sauerkraut thing quite often, though with no recipe.
I've cut the ribs up into portions, say 3 or 4 ribs per portion and seared those off. They go in the bottom of the pan with the sauerkraut and whatever else (sauteed onions, sliced apples, caraway seeds if someone likes, etc.) piled on top.
For service, a portion or two of the ribs plus the sauerkraut next to it (potatoes or spaetzle make a great add'l side). The rib bones basically just slide out of the meat with a little pressure from fork and knife, leaving you just the boneless ribs that you can then eat with a fork.
Anyway, that's how I've done it!
Oh, and I've stirred everything together towards the end of cooking so the meat juices mix up with the kraut.
Defrost.........put in a 450 oven for 15 mins...turn the heat down to 300 cover them with sauce.......2-3 hours later.......YUMMY


text:
Dueling developers create an unappetizing code stew.
Usually, when a multi-megabyte e-mail lands in Jerry's inbox, it means that someone tried to be fancy by including some silly photos or graphic images in intra-office correspondence.
A major validation error in the code resulted in a 60 percent failure rate for an expense form.
Henry was the TAXCALC king. But his coding skills were positively peasant-like.
Was "Calvin code" genius or tomfoolery?
For years, nobody cared that the legacy image-syncing application consumed as much bandwidth and processing time as it did.
Power user Alice strikes; can the code save our programming hero?
For MegaCorp's end-of-quarter presentation, the VP of marketing arranged a demo for a feature that he had contracted an outside consultant to add to the new version of the company's customer-facing online application.
Someone named Robbie had created a posting asking for assistance in resolving a problem with a simple Visual Basic .NET console application. It was used to retrieve and process product registrations and credit card transactions via the Internet for a piece of niche shareware.
When the big merger was announced, the IT staff of both corporations was a little bit nervous, and with good reason: The day after the announcement, many redundant positions were eliminated.
Everybody in the IT department was quite happy -- even a little surprised -- with how well the outsourced project to replace the legacy billing system was progressing.
Bob had sent out a single VB.NET function with an accompanying class definition. Its sole purpose in life was to see if at least one of the terms, passed as an array of strings, existed in the second parameter, a document body. Jed was positive that somewhere, a Reverse Polish Notation calculator was crying.
Terry had spent the better part of the past decade digging through the trenches of QuidCorp's flagship application QuidFlow -- a program used to flowchart business processes.
Mike worked as a SQL developer for a non-profit, debt management company that handled student loans.
Brandon hired a software development contractor to create a Web portal using ASP.NET to complete a custom software solution for one of his company's Software as a Service customers.
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text:
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May 17, 2011
Legacy Society members and special guests gathered on May 17th in our nation's capital to hear Dr. Allison McCoy speak about her experience as a resident in Wilmer's General Eye Service and around the world. Nationally known Washington D.C. attorney, Mr. Edward Beckwith, presented on estate planning.
Dr. Allison McCoy, Wilmer 3rd year resident and her father Mr. Jerry J. McCoy, Esq.
Mr. Edward Beckwith, Esq.


text:
- Academics
- Admission
- Career + Alumni
- Life at SCAD
- About SCAD
Oct. 17, 2012
1-3 p.m.
|Add to calendar
In "How to Make a Book that Works," Darius Himes, lead judge of creative publishing platform Blurb's annual Photography Book Now competition, will discuss how Blurb can affect the way books are made. Documentary photographer and Blurb photographer-at-large Daniel Milnor will discuss the self-publishing platform in further detail. Free and open to the public.


text:
Vanilla Sugar
- Total Time:
- 5 min
- Prep:
- 5 min
- Yield:
- 2 cups
- Level:
- Easy
- 1 vanilla bean, whole or scraped
- 2 cups granulated sugar
If vanilla bean is whole, slice down side of bean with back of knife and scrape seeds into airtight container with the sugar. Bury bean in sugar and seal tightly with lid. Let sit for 1 to 2 weeks. Use as regular, granulated sugar.
Recipe courtesy Alton Brown
More Recipes and Ideas
Vanilla Bean Sugar Cubes
Recipe courtesy of Janet Johnston
Iced Sugar Cookies
Recipe courtesy of Trisha Yearwood


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How long/how can I keep an opened carton of red wine?
- lamb_da_calculus Jan 27, 2013 06:21 AM
It's made by some brand called "Bandit" wines and I only bought it because I needed red wine for braising but don't have a bottle opener. But now I still have at least a bottle's worth left. I don't drink, so I'll only be using it for cooking. How should I store it (fridge or not?) and roughly how long would it be okay to use it in braises, deglazing, etc.?
Also, it's merlot, although I can't see how that would matter.
since you're not going to be drinking it, it will be fine in the fridge for a couple of weeks.
I'd still taste it to make sure it hasn't gone to vinegar before cooking with it, but the bag-in-box were designed to keep wine away from light and oxygen for longer periods of time.
And in cooking, it's perfectly fine.
I was long a skeptic about using only wines you would drink/serve for cooking.
Then I made a beef stew that called for a cup of wine (as opposed to the 2-3 TBSP you might use for de-glazing). I used something that was not good enough to serve with the dish, even for wine-unpicky me.
BIG mistake-it truly was nasty. I would liken it to using "apple" drink from a powdered mix when a recipe called for apple cider--cheap, fake and nasty.
So though you may get away with the deglaze, I would NOT braise with your boxed merlot.
re: LJS
there have been many, many experiments done by many, many magazines and higher chefs, and many, many discussions here on Chow about this -- once braised, inexpensive (but drinkable) wine gives as good (and sometimes better) results as expensive stuff.
If you wouldn't drink it, don't cook with it...but if it's drinkable, it's fair game.
And there are some very respectable BIB wines out there.
re: Gussie Finknottle
Yep, freeze it in an ice cube tray, then transfer the cubes into a ziploc bag. Works fine.
re: RicRios
citations, please.
Certainly not the case with European wines.
re: sunshine842
Here's an easy test:
Get two open containers, pour enough plonk in one (A), a similar quantity of decent stuff in the other (B), leave both at room temperature. Sip regularly for a month and graph your observations, x-axis = time, y-axis = degradation. You'll get a horizontal line for A, a nice upwards curve for B.
re: RicRios
wait, what?
Pour them both so they oxidise? Sorry, cheap (NOT inexpensive) wine oxidises -- and while it doesn't turn toxic, it tastes like it!
There's a difference between cheap and inexpensive.
This question gets ask all the time on the Home Cooking board by posters like you who want to keep the wine for cooking, rather than drinking, purposes. Here is one of the more recent discussions: http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/585481
Bottom line, you can keep it for several weeks at least in the fridge, and much longer in the freezer. Personally, I've kept partial bottles of reds for cooking purposes for months on end in the fridge and it's been fine.
Whether to keep in your fridge in the original container (or poured off into a different container if the box is occupying a lot of space), or freeze it in cubes depends in part in when you expect to use it and how, and also your fridge vs. freezer storing capacity. If only gradually to deglaze sauces, then I'd freeze in cubes, as some posters have suggested, since you'll be using small quantities. If to use in braise, then I'd just keep it in the fridge, since you are likely to use all (or at least most) of it in a single dish.
re: lamb_da_calculus
Bandit's not bag-in-box, it's Tetra Pak, like a milk carton, so it's probably oxidized already.
If you keep it in the fridge it should not get significantly worse for weeks.


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Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist and is the author of The Girls' Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to help you s ... More >>
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"Wait a minute-- something's changed," Donald Glover says just moments into the premiere of the final season of Comminuty, NBC's rococo and weirdly earnest meta-analysis of the sitcom form. For Glover's character, the Greendale Community College student Troy Barnes, the thing that's changed involves ... More >>
At 93 and the subject of a new documentary, Norman Lloyd is still in the biz
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"Identity on Fire" is the title of mp3 albums released by A Skylit Drive on 2011. The mp3 songs on A Skylit Drive - Identity on Fire (2011) albums classified as a Rock music albums.
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A Skylit Drive is an American post-hardcore band from Lodi, California. The band has released one DVD, one EP and four studio albums: Wires…And the Concept of Breathing on May 20, 2008, Adelphia on June 9, 2009, Identity on Fire on February 15, 2011, and most recently Rise, released on September 24, 2013.
As of 2012, the band consists of Michael Jagmin (lead vocals), Brian White (bass guitar, unclean vocals), Nick Miller (guitar), Cory La Quay (drums, death growls), and Kyle Simmons (keys, synths, bass guitar). Original members Jordan Blake and Joey Wilson left the band in 2007 and 2012, respectively. Michael Jagmin has provided lead vocals for the band since 2008. He is often recognized for his unusual singing range.
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I love sci fi art, especially when the subject matter is Star Trek related. This rendition of the Enterprise is wonderful.
Related articles
- Design Inspiration: 6 TV Intros That Were Ahead of Their Time (shutterstock.com)
- Sci-fi goes back to the Eighties (techcentral.co.za)
- 10 Inventions Inspired by Science Fiction (toptenz.net)


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I'm saving my nickels this season for a handful of overnight stays/ ski all day / drive home trips to a few places in northern New England. These have always been beyond my usual day trips, and I...
Type: Posts; User: KD7000; Keyword(s):
I'm saving my nickels this season for a handful of overnight stays/ ski all day / drive home trips to a few places in northern New England. These have always been beyond my usual day trips, and I...
That 5 minute Lasagna looks terrible!
I giggled out loud with joy the other night when I heard there was accumulating snow in the Rockies.
How about at least a medium speed lift? That thing is slower than death.
Wachusett is scheduled to have their last day on Sunday April 6. I think they could easily push that if temperatures allow, but I guess skier visits plummet to nuthin' in April.
Both my kids have...
I've gotten out less than I hoped, but when I tally it up, it's been ok:
1 at Pat's Peak
2 at Sugarloaf
2 at Stowe
4 at Wachusett
Maybe 12- 1/2 days and/or night sessions at Wawa. I've lost...
Last year at Magic, there was a huge collection of equipment lying on the ground outside the lodge. I watched a couple of snowboards get flipped over by the wind and slide down onto the gravel road....
This year was my first trip to Sugarloaf.
I am torn about this weekend. I'm busy Saturday, so it's Sunday only for me. I'd like to get far enough into northern VT for better conditions but it's too far for a day trip...
Not too far off. I bought a packet of handwarmers and that lip balm at the Spruce base shop. I'm pretty sure I paid over $11.00 total.
I am not proud of this. Had I realized I was missing those...
I still don't think those say DH. Because nobody runs DH skis without a plate, it just isn't done. Those aren't even real. You've photoshopped the whole thing.
I did not watch that video clip.
The flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true.
I didn't know how to pronounce "Raichle" until very recently.
I was thinking about heading Ragged on Sunday. But I have no discount passes or anything. I'd be interested to hear how it actually is up there...
I like snow.
Very nice!
Any trip that allows a stop at Moat Mountain for beer and food could never be overrated.
Billski, Ted Ligety would wildly disagree with your narrow definitions of "shred."
Groomers only gets a bit boring at a small hill. But at a larger area where you can ~safely~ get up to scary speed, it's quite fun.
This is the best dumb-ass thread of the week. Your level of detail is quite thorough, and the expository nature of the post is refreshing.
Nice work!
I love skiing Pats, especially with my daughter. We've gone up there for an easy day trip once each winter for the past few years.
Because you can hit anything on the mountainwhen there is enough...
Indeed. A couple years back, I had a massive wipe out on that exact spot. That day, there was a somewhat unexpected transition from soft snow to bare ice. Luckily, I didn't take anyone down with me.
Maybe for some. There is still a huge "locals" contingent of skiers at Stowe. My brother-in-law and his wife are both passholders. (both are local school teachers). As ludicrous as pass and day...
Stupid yet entirely awesome.


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November 25, 2014
Updated Monday --- January 14, 2008 -- 11:00am
Meat company recalls beef after 5 illnesses reported in Wisconsin
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- A Minnesota meatpacker has recalled about 188,000 pounds of ground beef patties and some other products because of E. coli bacteria concerns.
The US Agriculture Department's Food Safety and Inspection Service says Rochester Meat Company issued the recall after 5 illnesses were reported in Wisconsin and one in California,
The meat may be contaminated with a strain of E. coli that's potentially deadly and can cause bloody diarrhea and dehydration. The very young, senior citizens and those with weakened immune systems are most at risk.
The affected beef was produced October 30th and November 6th.
It was shipped to distributors nationwide for use in restaurants and food service institutions. The USDA says it was not sold by retailers.
Click Here to access the online Public Inspection File
Viewers with disabilities can get assistance accessing this station's FCC Public Inspection File by contacting the station with the information listed below. Questions or concerns relating to the accessibility of the FCC's online public file system should be directed to the FCC at 888-225-5322, 888-835-5322 (TTY), or firstname.lastname@example.com.


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Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke addresses the clash between residents and cops in Ferguson, MO. The protests and riots in Ferguson, Missouri are providing proof the ... More >>
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke recalls Miami's shunning of a great late icon. As world leaders memorialized Nelson Mandela last week in Johannesburg, Miami media ... More >>
Mitt Romney made Barack Obama his bitch during last week's presidential debate. He lied and obfuscated; flip-flopped and feigned outrage; flapped his finely manicured hands and blamed Obama for allegedly leading us down the path to socialist serfdom. Unsurprisingly, the mainstream media promptly rew ... More >>
Among the most politically polarizing figures in modern times, Venezuelan "president" Hugo Chávez has had the rare distinction of sharing the worldwide stage with other high-energy luminaries like Muammar Gaddafi (d. 2011), Kim Jong-il (d. 2011), Evo Morales, Fidel and Raul Castro, Daniel Ortega ... More >>
How many more ruthless, brutal dictators are going to kick the authoritarian bucket this year before Calle Oche finally gets to hold that damn parade? Fidel Castro's rolodex of entrenched, old-timey leaders is getting dangerously thin.Muammar Gaddafi: whacked. Ali Saleh: deposed. Zine Ben Ali: to ... More >>
Hey, it's your favorite morning of the year! The one where you stumble out of bed to realize you spent the night next to a stranger dressed like Muammar Gaddafi (too soon?), scrape the caked zombie makeup off your face and stumble to work through a grade-five hangover. But then on the way, you ge ... More >>
Obviously the big dictator news of the day is the death of Muammar Gaddafi. Though, Gaddafi's close ally in Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, chose today to make a big public announcement that he's free of cancer. Not that the announcement is likely to do away with chatter about his health.
Today is Dave Coulier's birthday. And unless you've been hiding out in the Tanner's basement with Jodie Sweetin and a meth pipe for the last two decades, you oughta know that Alanis Morissette's biggest single, "You Oughta Know" is allegedly about Dave Coulier, AKA Uncle Joey from Full House. "Cu ... More >>
Help us find Hugo.Where in the hell is Hugo Chavez?The normally voluble Venezuelan president has been missing for nearly a month. The official explanation is that he's recovering from surgery to remove a pelvic abscess in Cuba, but rumors abound.Is he pissing into the Mississippi to make it flood ... More >>
wikimedia commonsDo you believe in miracles? Alan Garcia does, just not the nice, feel-good kind.Pope John Paul II may have died six years ago, but the recently beatified Pole still packs quite a holy punch. At least, so believes Peruvian president Alan Garcia, who credited JPII for "removing" Os ... More >>
Move over, America. Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez has found a new evil to target: boob jobs. He might actually have a point, for once. Venezuela has become one of the biggest markets in the world for breast augmentation, and the plastic surgery trend has become so severe that often women who ... More >>
Agência Brasil via Wikimedia CommonsHugo Chavez: democratically elected, but a supporter of Libyan strongman Muammar GaddafiWhat do Hugo Chavez, Daniel Ortega, and Fidel Castro have in common? Berets, cigars, military fatigues, state-controlled economies... Errr... scratch that. This could take ... More >>
As Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi has gone straight up tyrant in his country by ordering the killing of protesters seeking an end to his rule, some of his close allies across Latin America seem to be sticking with him. In fact, Fidel Castro thinks that the protests will be used as an excuse for th ... More >>
Man, it seems like everyone has an opinion on NBC's Conan O'Brien/Jay Leno disaster. Even, apparently, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.Just about every late night show has devoted most of its monologue to the situation, and O'Brien's tonight show is no different. Last night, among his many bits, Cona ... More >>
Willy Chirino gets slippery
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Not so long ago the infamous Latin Kings ruled Miami's gangland streets. Now their missionaries are bringing a new message.
Casablanca had Rick's; Vegas had the Stardust; Miami's cocaine jazz age had the decadent Mutiny Hotel
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A 40-year-old man was shot this morning in an apparent dispute with his roommate, Chattanooga police said.
Alberto DeLeon was shot in the right thigh with a shotgun by his roommate, said police spokeswoman Officer Rebecca Royval.
The incident took place about 5:50 a.m. at 3201 Fifth Ave., she said.
DeLeon was transported to the hospital and, while his condition is unknown, his injuries were non-life threatening, she said.
Thomas Roell, 60, was charged with aggravated assault in connection with the incident, Royval said.
He also also transported to the hospital for unrelated medical issues, she said, and was taken to Hamilton County Jail after being released from the hospital.
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Category Archives: Current Events
U.S. Only Country That Spends More on Prisons Than Policing
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Rielle Hunter Book Sells Just 6,000 Copies
Rielle Hunter's book tour about affair with John Edwards comes to an end after just 6,000 copies are sold I caught the Rielle Hunter interview on 20/20 a few weeks ago. She came across as surprisingly non-loony. And you could … Continue reading
Posted in Current Events 2 Comments
Pasadena Says Goodbye to R2 SpeeD2
Pasadena is discontinuing its red-light camera program, citing "lack of enforcement from Los Angeles County courts, time wasted by Pasadena police officers and questions about the cameras' effectiveness in improving traffic safety." That's OK. The cameras have already served their … Continue reading
Posted in Current Events Tagged red light cameras 1 Comment
New Jersey Suspends Red Light Cameras
Michael Silence – 'Government should not use citizens as cash cows': On Tuesday, officials from the state Department of Transportation suspended the program after learning 63 of the 85 red-light cameras in New Jersey were not tested to ensure yellow … Continue reading
North Dakota May Eliminate Property Taxes
New York Times – North Dakota Considers Eliminating Property Tax: "I would like to be able to know that my home, no matter what happens to my income or my life, is not going to be taken away from me … Continue reading
Walker Wins WI Recall Vote by 15 Points; Public Unions Hardest Hit
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Posted in Current Events Tagged california Comments Off
First John Edwards cheats on his cancer-stricken wife with Rielle Hunter and has a love child …
and now it turns out he was sleeping with prostitutes? Nice guy. DNAInfo – John Edwards is First Name Uncovered in 'Millionaire Madam' Investigation: A call girl working for alleged "Millionaire Madam" Anna Gristina told investigators she was paid to … Continue reading
Nick Gillespie on New ADA Regs on Pool Lifts for the Disabled
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Good News for California
Moody's now rates Illinois as having the worst credit rating in the country.
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This is your train on drugs
Advisory group recommends withholding billions for high-speed rail: Over $2.6 billion in state bond money dedicated for the California's high-speed rail plan should be withheld until the project establishes a more financially viable business model, an advisory council recommended on … Continue reading
Posted in Current Events Tagged california, this is your train on drugs 1 Comment
Why Herman Cain was Like Nicholas Cage in National Treasure
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California's High Speed Rail Now Projected at $98 Billion
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Posted in Current Events Tagged california, this is your train on drugs 3 Comments
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JayG notices something funny about the Occupy Oakland protestors taking over the Oakland port and blocking truck traffic: So they're protesting the effect of capitalism on government by forcing the working people to lose money? Truck drivers that don't drive … Continue reading


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text: Jerez Test Day 4: Mercedes GP review 13 February, 2010 Michael Schumacher with engineer Andrew Shovlin Feb.13 (YF1) The final day of this week's test in Jerez saw Michael Schumacher back at the wheel of the MGP W01. The day started slowly with early morning rain leaving the track still very wet for the start of the session. Michael completed a few exploratory laps before returning to the garage to wait for a dry line to emerge. Michael went back out once the track had dried sufficiently to run on slick tyres and made full use of the remaining track time to further develop the set-up of the car. Michael completed 84 laps over the course of the day setting a quickest time of 1:20.613. Michael Schumacher: "We had a good day today to end this week's test programme. The weather affected us a little in the early part of the day but we were able to use our time very effectively once we could run on dry tyres. We completed everything that we wanted and were able to increase our understanding of the car a step further so overall it's been positive. It's very tough to understand the order of the teams just yet as everyone can play so much with the fuel loads. So there is a lot of speculation going on but it's very interesting!" Ross Brawn: "It's been a difficult week weather-wise for all of the teams out in Jerez however we have achieved a significant amount of mileage in both the wet and dry conditions and completed some important test items on our pre-season testing programme. This week has enabled us to increase our understanding of both the car and the tyres and our focus for the final two tests will be to continue to develop the performance of the MGP W01 and ensure the team and our drivers are fully prepared for the first race." The next test for Mercedes GP Petronas will start in Jerez on Wednesday 17 February. Click here for full reports and lap times Tweet Related NewsFerrari bust spying on Mercedes during Abu Dhabi testRosberg: I am not angry with the teamNo number one for Hamilton who wants to keep #44F1 drivers take to Twitter to congratulate HamiltonDennis: McLaren board will decide 2015 driversLauda: Nico will fight backHamilton: New Mercedes contract is a formalityHamilton: I celebrated with a watermelon juiceRosberg: Hamilton was the best driver on the grid this yearHamilton: I feel very happy here, no rush to sign new deal


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This is a recipe from my new book, Good and Easy Eats. As I've been working on the website this week (preparing for the big launch of the book this Saturday!) I decided to add a band of food images to the home page. I called out to my teenage son, "Which recipe should I have a picture of on the site?" and without pausing he said, "Caramel Corn!". So within minutes I bought a lovely little image at istockphoto.com and had it loaded to the site. It looks really cute. If you haven't visited the new site in a little while you might want to check it out www.goodandeasyeats.com. I've added a number of new pages, more information and a couple of reviews.
Caramel Corn
By the way- if you want to make a less-sweet version (more like "Kettle Corn") you can cut the amount of oil and honey in half
Pop ½ cup of popcorn (produces 2-3 quarts of popcorn)
3 Tbsp. coconut oil/butter
1/3 cup honey
or maple syrup
up to ¼ tsp. sea salt
Pinch of baking soda
opt.: 2 Tbsp. molasses*
Pour popped popcorn into a large casserole dish (or two smaller ones). Heat the rest of the ingredients (except for the baking soda) in a saucepan until bubbly. Keep on a low boil, whisking occasionally- for 4-5 minutes- until the mixture begins to thicken. Whisk in a pinch of baking soda and then pour over the popcorn. Mix until popcorn is well coated. Bake for 1 hour at 275 degrees, stirring every 15-20 minutes. Pour into a large glass bowl and allow to cool before serving. Store in an airtight container to keep crisp.
* adding molasses gives it a more old-fashioned flavor (sorry- no toy prize included!).
Opt: add 1/2 cup nuts (cashews, almonds) to the popcorn before topping with the caramel
This is a super easy version, as you don't have to struggle
to keep it on the baking sheets when you stir it during baking.
This looks great, Kim! I am off these sweeteners, but I may just have to try subbing or making this for others. Well done!
Oh, finally a good recipe to replace my unhealthy one, a favorite family treat. I am looking SO forward to the new book.
I can't wait to try this! Caramel popcorn is a holiday tradition, but one I haven't kept up due to the corn syrup. Thank you so much!!
Congrats on your book!
Is there another fat that can be substituted for the coconut oil? My boy is sensitive to coconut. Thanks!
Just made this and it's delicious. Perfect for my sweet tooth and for holiday parties. Never has a treat been so easy to make. I used one T. of molasses and half syrup half honey. It turned out great!
I tried this recipe and my popcorn wilted down to nothing, am I doing something wrong? I would appreciate any advice on this recipe.
Thanks in advance,
Anyone ever try this recipe with agave? Just wondering if it would work before I attempt it!
I just made a similar recipe with agave…it was soggy and not at all caramel corn-ish. I think honey would work better, as I think it likely sugars up better lending to a better texture. That's how I found this recipe Hoping it works better than my last fiasco!
how is this sugar free if it has honey in it


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Film review: 'Crazy Heart'
Date: February 10, 2010
by: Pam Nadon | Film Critic
Jeff Bridges is riding mighty high these days. His performance in "Crazy Heart" is generating so much attention it looks as though he's a shoo-in for an Oscar this year. And that's a tough call given the outstanding work from all of the nominees for Best Actor.
Bridges plays Bad Blake (gotta love the name), a broken-down alcoholic country singer who's been reduced to playing in bowling alley bars. But that's OK for Bad. Getting by is all he cares about — until he meets Jean (Maggie Gyllenhaal, also up for an Oscar). Twenty-five years his junior, she manages to re-ignite that long lost spark of hope, which Bad so desperately needs.
Few actors have maintained the flawless reputation acquired by Bridges over the course of 35 years. He possesses that rare gift of becoming his character. As you watch him in films such as "The Big Lebowski" and "Starman," you truly believe he's the guy. Acting without acting defines Bridges' immense talent.
As if it couldn't get any better, Bridges sings and plays the guitar in "Crazy Heart," adding vast credibility to his performance. The original-and-totally-rockin' songs are written by T-Bone Burnett and Stephen Bruton. Colin Farrell (who also does his own singing) plays Bad's protégé with such respect it almost seems like art imitating life. Halfway through the film, Robert Duvall shows up in a small but powerful role as Bad's old friend. Not bad casting for first time director and former actor Scott Cooper.
Bad Blake is a guy who buckles up when he gets out of the car (having urinated en route via plastic container). Somehow it just seems right. As I see it, The Dude has magnificently morphed into Bad Blake, and it's a damn fine move.
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