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A new report from AARP shows Americans are not taking the proper steps to protect themselves from identity theft. Approximately 12% of Americans 18 years of age or older have been the victims of identity theft within the last 12 … Continue reading
Tag Archives: identity theft
Commonwealth Bank Launches Locking App for Stolen Credit Cards
To help reduce credit card fraud in Australia, one major bank has created a new feature for its app that will allow cardholders to lock, cancel and replace their credit cards on their smartphones. Commonwealth Bank now gives customers the … Continue reading
Even a President's Credit Card Can Be Declined
Even President Obama has had to face the embarrassment of getting his card declined. Last month, Obama's credit card was declined at Estela in downtown Manhattan while the President was preparing for the annual United Nations General Assembly. "It turned … Continue reading
How To Use Credit Card Chip & PIN Technology
America is now a year away from an October 2015 deadline when all banks, retailers and credit card providers will transition to chip and PIN cards in order to strengthen credit card security. All of the cards currently in your wallet … Continue reading
Top 5 Ways Credit Card Numbers Are Stolen
Credit card theft has become a big problem in America. Researchers estimate that 10% of Americans have been victims of credit card fraud. The switch to chip and PIN technology should reduce these rates dramatically, but for now, the threat … Continue reading
Innovative ATM Reader Fights Credit Card Skimming
America has been fighting to stay ahead of credit card skimming and identity theft. But Diebold, Inc. has developed a new ATM card reader called ActivEdge that may be a revolutionary anti-skimming device. The secret to ActivEdge's security is the … Continue reading
New Visa Service Helps Gas Stations Combat Credit Card Fraud
Visa is helping gas stations fight credit card fraud through a new program known as the Visa Transaction Advisor. This system uses intelligent analytics to identify purchases that have a high risk of being fraudulent. Self-serve gas stations are known … Continue reading
LowCards.com Weekly Credit Card Update–August 15, 2014
Debt Collectors, What are Their Legal Limits? Collectors call again and again in the middle of dinner. They call the wrong person. They threaten. They take advantage of the latest technology to embarrass people. Often, they violate the law. Debt … Continue reading
Smart Credit Cards Don't Make Up For Dumb Credit Card Readers
Chip and PIN credit cards are thought to be the solution for credit card security issues in the United States, but hacking experts have recently revealed those accounts may be more vulnerable than we think. The smart cards themselves may be … Continue reading
Lock Your Debit Card With This Smartphone App
Ever wish you could just "turn off" your debit cards when you aren't using them? Then you wouldn't have to worry about someone spending money from your account. Thanks to an app from Malauzai Software, you could lock your bank … Continue reading
5 Worst Data Breaches Of 2014
Data breaches have unfortunately become a common occurrence in today's society. It seems a newsworthy breach has taken place almost every week since the massive Target hack occurred in late 2013. A data breach can cripple a business and cause … Continue reading
Goodwill Investigating Possible Credit Card Data Breach
Goodwill Industries announced it is investigating a possible data breach in its thrift stores. The company is working closely with authorities to see if any credit card information was leaked during the potential security issue. Several banking institutions have been … Continue reading
LowCards.com Weekly Credit Card Update–July 25, 2014
Will Debit Card Rewards Become a Perk of the Past? Banks are still struggling to regain their footing from the financial collapse and resulting Great Recession. As profits shrink and expenses expand, the biggest banks in America are shedding thousands … Continue reading
New York's Data Breaches Exposed 22.8 Million Personal Records
According to a report from New York's Attorney General, 22.8 million private records of New Yorkers have been exposed due to data breaches over the last eight years. The data breaches were reported by over 3,000 businesses, nonprofit organizations and … Continue reading
Looters Steal Credit Cards, Valuables from Malaysia Airlines Victims
The crash site of Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 is now being looted by locals. According to reports, thieves have already taken credit cards, jewelry and cash from the victims. The horrific tragedy already cost the lives of 295 innocent victims. … Continue reading
LowCards Exclusive Study: Identity Theft Concerns Shifting Shopping Habits of Americans
Identity theft has become a major concern for the American consumer and is now having a significant impact on their shopping habits. These are the findings of an exclusive survey conducted on over 400 random individuals by LowCards.com. Nearly 46% of … Continue reading
Understanding Your Credit Card Number
Do you know what the numbers mean on the front of your credit card? Are they just a random accumulation of numbers? Or do they serve a specific purpose? Much like the VIN on your car, credit card numbers are … Continue reading
Common Ways Thieves Steal Your Identity (And How You Can Prevent Them)
If you are worried about thieves trying to steal your identity, there are a variety of steps you can take to protect your personal data and critical information. There are a plethora of different technologies you can buy to keep … Continue reading
10 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Identity Theft
Identity theft has become one of the biggest concerns for Americans. However, it is also one of the most misunderstood subjects among consumers. We are always looking for ways to protect ourselves from fraud. Credit card fraud or identity theft … Continue reading
AT&T Develops New Program to Help Prevent Credit Card Fraud
AT&T will pilot a new service that could help credit card companies prevent fraud. The program will let the credit card company know the current location of the accountholder based on the location of his or her phone. If that … Continue reading
Who Pays For Fraudulent Credit Card Transactions?
Credit card fraud is an issue that affects a number of different parties. Credit cardholders, banks, merchants and the scammer are all involved in a process that can take weeks or even months to fully resolve. The best way to … Continue reading
Teen Steals Credit Card to Rent $12 Million Vacation Home
A 19-year-old in California was charged with credit card fraud last week after he used a stolen card to rent a $12 million vacation home for $27,000. The teen also spent $13,000 renting a 2012 McLaren sports car worth $240,000. … Continue reading
Five New York Men Charged for Large-Scale Credit Card Scheme
Five men in New York are facing trial for aggravated identity theft and conspiracy to commit access device fraud stemming from a credit card scheme that spanned from April 2013 to April 2014. The five men in question bought the … Continue reading
Important Things To Do After Your Credit Card Number Is Stolen
Have you had your credit card stolen? Are you worried that someone might be using your identity to make purchases? This can be an intensely frustrating situation, but the first thing that you should do is stay calm. This will … Continue reading
LifeLock Pulls Wallet App Due to Security Concerns
LifeLock has withdrawn its Wallet app from the market after concerns that it did not meet the Data Security Standard. The company has also deleted all user data from their system to prevent any future problems from arising. Todd Davis, CEO … Continue reading
Scammers Target UPS, FedEx Customers
Everywhere we turn, it seems scammers and thieves are at work to steal our personal information. Overnight shipping companies seem to be the latest industry to be targeted. One scam involves UPS. Criminals purchase merchandise with stolen credit cards. They … Continue reading
LowCards.com Weekly Credit Card Update–May 23, 2014
Microchips in our Passports and Credit Cards: Are They Safe? U.S. passports have them. And these days, many more U.S. credit cards are starting to carry them, too. The tiny plastic chips embedded in passports and credit cards are primarily … Continue reading
Retailers Launch Cyber Security Sharing Center to Boost Financial Security
The Retail Industry Leaders Association (RILA) has launched a new program to aid stores in preventing and detecting credit card data breaches. It's called the Retail Cyber Intelligence Sharing Center (R-CISC), and it could be a very positive step for … Continue reading
Ten Ways To Prevent Identity Theft In 2014
There are always going to be people who try to steal your identity or credit cards. The key to protecting your critical financial and personal information is to be proactive in keeping them safe. While there are ways to limit … Continue reading
Mets Employee Accidentally Sends GM's Credit Card Info to Press
A New York Mets staff member, trying to buy tickets to a Broadway play, accidentally emailed General Manager Sandy Alderson's credit card information to the team's New York press corps. The email included the card number, expiration date and security code. … Continue reading
WooThemes Warns Customers of Data Breach
WooThemes, a web design template provider, posted a notice on their website that warns of a potential data breach in their checkout process. Nearly 300 cases of fraud have already been reported. WooThemes does not store credit card information from … Continue reading
Thief Steals Credit Card from Police Officer–And Gets Away
If you are going to steal a credit card, you may not want to take one from a law enforcement officer. But that did not stop a drunk Johnny Anthony Cervantes. According to surveillance video, Cervantes took a female officer's … Continue reading
LowCards.com Weekly Credit Card Update–May 12, 2014
Target CEO Steps Aside After Massive Data Breach A Christmas-season cyberattack on Target's computer systems did more than expose massive amounts of customer credit card data to potential fraud. It also turned up the heat on deeper troubles that simmered … Continue reading
Card-Free ATMs Coming to Australia
Australian banks are taking a new spin on ATM technology by offering ATMs that do not require a debit or credit card. Within the coming months, cardholders across the continent will be able to pull money out of an ATM simply … Continue reading
New Law Protects Children from Identity Theft
Wisconsin took a major step in curbing identity theft with a new law that protect children's identities. Known as the Wisconsin Child Credit Protection Act, this law is designed to make sure that a child's information cannot be used to … Continue reading
PayPal Tests Smartwatch Payment Option at Starbucks
PayPal is testing a new wireless smartwatch system at Starbucks that identifies you to the barista when you enter the store and allows you to pay for purchases. The new pilot program is currently being tested at a Starbucks located … Continue reading
Turn "Off" Your Credit Cards to Prevent Fraud
Don't you wish you were able to turn off your credit cards when you don't need them so that no one else could use them? And then back on when you were ready to make a purchase? With OnDot CardControl, … Continue reading
Netflix Scam Threatens Credit Card Accounts
Identity thieves seem to get trickier by the day, and most recently, they have made targets out of Netflix users. Many users have compromised their credit card accounts by giving the hackers access to their computers. In the new scam, … Continue reading
Investigation Continues into Possible Credit Card Breach at California DMV
The California Department of Motor Vehicles continues to investigate a possible debit and credit card breach which may have taken place on online transactions between August 2013 and January 2014. The DMV believes that there may have been security problems … Continue reading
LowCards.com Weekly Credit Card Update–March 28, 2014
Why So Many Retail Stores Get Hacked for Credit Card Data When a big retailer gets hacked, it's often quick to note that it has complied with cybersecurity rules set by the credit card industry. MasterCard, Visa and other card … Continue reading
Negligent Healthcare Practices Put Your Identity at Risk
A new study indicates an astounding 43 percent of identity theft cases in 2013 were the result of medical identity theft. This occurs when criminals gain access to your medical files and use information to open accounts and make purchases. The … Continue reading
Your Child's ID is a Big Target for Identity Thieves
Child identity theft can be a bigger problem than other forms of identity theft because it can go unnoticed for years. A recent Carnegie Mellon study found that 10.2% of children under the age of 18 had someone else using their Social … Continue reading
LowCards.com Weekly Credit Card Update–March 21, 2014
Consumers Not Powerless in Face of Credit Card Fraud Most card companies already have custom alerts and other features that not enough consumers use. Then there's something that all cards should have but most don't--an on/off switch accessible from a … Continue reading
Neiman Marcus Sued after Data Breach
An Illinois woman is suing Neiman Marcus as a result of the 2013 data hack. She is seeking money on behalf of the 350,000 customers whose lives were affected by this breach. "Neiman Marcus has placed the burden on aggrieved … Continue reading
Expiration Dates Dropped on Some Store Credit Cards
Some private-label credit cards, like those issued by Macy's, may be dropping their expiration dates in the coming years. Expiration dates on bank-issued credit cards are used for several reasons. Some issuers take this as an opportunity to review a … Continue reading
Simsbury Bank Credit Cardholders Target of Phishing Scam
A bank will never ask customers for their private information over the phone. That is one rule of thumb to help consumers guard against thieves trying to steal their financial assets. But thieves still try to use this ploy. A … Continue reading
Credit Card Fraud Investigation Turns into Pot Bust
The investigation of a counterfeit credit card operation in New Jersey quickly turned into a major pot bust. Police officers in Egg Harbor Township began tracking the case in January when a couple was suspected of placing a number of … Continue reading
This Credit Card May Be Safer Than Chip and PIN
Paul Berger, a professor of electrical and computer engineering at Ohio State University, is working on a credit card design that may slow down identity theft. His creation of a hardware encrypted credit card is said to be extremely secure, … Continue reading
MasterCard Working on Credit Card Security Tied to Smartphones
MasterCard is teaming up with mobile technology company Syniverse to provide heightened credit card security through smartphones. The group is working on a program that will only allow credit cards to work when they are in close proximity to the … Continue reading


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damsel in distress
It sounds like you understand the KISA and that your WH falls into this category. As StillGoing says, they want to be seen as a hero, it is very ego stroking to them.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
One affair started due to OW's car being broke down and her struggling in college. He took her to school and had many "study sessions".
Another was making sure the OW was safe in the gym at night since it was all men but her. He felt it was only right to stick with her in the gym and make sure she got back to the hotel safely... they were at a three week long training for work.
There are more examples but H would tell me how he was "helping" these women while I was still in the dark as to how much time he was actually spending with OW that "needed" him.
My H shines in situations when his help in actually needed. He is the first to jump in and go well beyond. I have always been proud of him when I would see him help so much but it did lead him down some very destructive paths.
He would run out the door to help near strangers but couldn't feed me when I was sick.
He's now helping a stripper/junky/whore. He's helping her destroy his life.
Yep, this is him all right. Does the concept come from an affair book that talks about it in depth, or is it just an SI term?
I'm not sure where the "KISA" started but it is not exclusive to SI.
In our case, I don't think it caused the A. May have fuelled it some, but didn't cause it.
many times I've busted him for swapping emails with some damsel in distress that really were crossing the line of appropriateness, and then he gets defensive about how they needed his help and advice and he doesn't want to hurt their feelings.
When I finally started snooping due to his A, I found many similar emails. I think his behaviours eventually culminated in the A, and these behaviours are inappropriate when the "damsels" are more important to him than you are.
He needs to give up that behaviour IMHO...
Interestingly, some narcissists love to be KISA because it makes them look good.
My fWW is a KISA. She is really selfish around the house but will go out of her way to help anyone outside the house.
In our case, I don't think it caused the A. May have fuelled it some, but didn't cause it.
This sounds just like my H. I used to think he was just a romantic because he was always trying to help his guy friends find girlfriends because he just "wanted them to have someone and be happy" then he started consoling females over their breakups but I never really gave it any thought.
Now that I'm thinking about it he did say started talking to AP1 because she recently broke up with her ex and then that is how he got to talking about the state of our marriage
Discovery 10/22/2012
Admittance: 11/21/2012
2 month PA/2 week EA
Even after D-day WH told me that he felt like I didn't NEED him. In reality I don't because I like knowing that I can take care of me and my kids at a moment's notice. Sorry WH (KISA) you won't find needy over here.
it definitely is an unconscious thing. after my third go around I definitely tried to pick a "healthy" woman. it obviously didn't work hence numbers 4 and 5.
This sucks
I hate the "bleeped" word, but its definately a KISA
Have you ever confronted or discussed this with your H?
OW is the first damsel in distress that he didn't discuss with me. Their EA started with her confiding in him about her divorce. Her husband left her and 3 kids for his OW!
Apparently she tried to control her feelings for my husband, even told him to try to work things out with me. But then, her feelings for him became too overwhelming and she just had to have him - and he didn't want to hurt her feelings so he continued...
Fortunately, he recognizes this about himself now and is actively staying away from women like this.
He truly craves people liking him.
I would ask many of you...and maybe I am way off base here....but how many of your WS's have low self esteem, or possibly not highly educated that they feel "less then" so to speak so they over compensate with this KISA type of personality? Its like the only way they know of to have people like them.
Carried on Sex in the City used to say to Mr Big..."You give 'sparkle' out to other people and when you get home I get boring and tired and nothing.
So true with me. Gives everything to other people all the time.
The problem is it's all about control. They focus on "you" to avoid their own feelings of inadequacy, fear of abandonment, ego aggrandizement. If they can be there for "you" then when you're better they have the perfect person who will be eternally grateful.
Huge problems. First, women that need "rescuing" are hot messes. People that know better realize that people are in situations 99% of the time caused by their own fuck ups, not other's, so you're "saving" the perpetrator, not the victim.
Women that are in crises, even if it's self created are emotionally unavailable. That's the real draw for these guys. The project. The "win" they require for self validating ego kibbles they need in endless supply.
The word "knight" gives it a far more noble ring than it deserves. It's really just predatory behavior of looking for the "weak" to feed themselves. "Funny" thing is the "weak" they find ain't so weak at all.
'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth
Absoutely applies. Not sure why my WS esteem is so low. He is very smart and very talented but lazy. Its easier to save dumels than to put in the work on his business and his marriage I guess. His father told me strait up, he is smart but lazy and a body that wont do something aint as good as a body that cant do something.
[This message edited by NikkiD at 10:53 AM, February 25th (Monday)]
my H is highly educated and it wasn't about women liking him. It was all about women needing him. See I didn't need him, not in that way. And I wasn't going to ever be that way. Just not who I am.
We have worked that out though and he now recognizes it and validates himself.
my H is highly educated and it wasn't about women liking him. It was all about women needing him. See I didn't need him, not in that way. And I wasn't going to ever be that way. Just not who I am.
Yes, mine is this way too. I was raised by a man and typically the dumsel my WS fell for wasnt. So he is her KISA, captain save-a-hoe.
One of the things that marks it for me is that one of the first (and only) compliments he gave me what that I had the whole "independent woman" thing going on. Then, without saying, he looked for other women who needed him.
He would let the OW complain to him about her sex life, let her talk to him for hours. I think he felt by listening to her, he was letting her lean on him. He has never listened to me talk for hours, or even for five minutes.
He would fix the nursing students (who he also liked to flirt with) food whenever they were around, because he worried about them not having eaten all day. He would sometimes make food for me while I was tending to our son, which I always thanked him for, and other times would practically throw the plate at me and mumble about how he wasn't anyone's servant. Hence why I no longer tell him when I'm hungry.
He had elaborate fantasies about saving people (my BFF, my cousin, a neighbor's ONS, etc) from abusive people (even if there weren't in reality any abusers) and spent time feeling excessively sorry for others. The wife, on the other hand, could take care of herself, no matter what she was dealing with.
He gives change to homeless folks. Yet I've never seen him give a homeless man a $20 before, like he has to homeless girls. Of course, now he has made me his KISA in the money regard and successfully manages to ask me for almost half my paycheck every month to spend on his stuff. That's about to change.
In short, he likes to feel needed by people. Why wouldn't he? He gets people's thanks, he gets to have pretty girls be extra nice to him, even respond to his flirtings. It's how he knows to get attention, and it's a boost to his self-esteem to have people think well of him. I used to be the same way when I was younger, a female KISA, til I grew some (boundaries that is).
It preserves pretty girls in a certain way for him. Also, it makes them more accessible to him. Someone here on SI said that a KISA is really an asshole in tinfoil. Generosity can be a very important thing. I certainly love him for his. It just makes it harder when generosity becomes boundary-crossing and acting single in order to "help" someone, not to mention when it begins to make your family as the people most in need of help.
If you're not keen on being the damsel whose KISA is out protecting another girl's castle, then bump some of Beyonce's awesome music and have the courage to untangle yourself from your KISA, physically, financially, and especially emotionally. It's liberating.
Huge problems. First, women that need "rescuing" are hot messes. People that know better realize that people are in situations 99% of the time caused by their own fuck ups, not other's, so you're "saving" the perpetrator, not the victim.
Huge problems. First, women that need "rescuing" are hot messes. People that know better realize that people are in situations 99% of the time caused by their own fuck ups, not other's, so you're "saving" the perpetrator, not the victim.
Women that are in crises, even if it's self created are emotionally unavailable. That's the real draw for these guys. The project. The "win" they require for self validating ego kibbles they need in endless supply.
Women that are in crises, even if it's self created are emotionally unavailable. That's the real draw for these guys. The project. The "win" they require for self validating ego kibbles they need in endless supply.
spot on!! My granny says women like this posess the "Jezebel spirit..." I thought it was some old southern term for "whore" until I looked it up. The above quote is described in much of the readings I found on it.
[This message edited by NikkiD at 12:07 PM, February 25th (Monday)]
Have you ever confronted or discussed this with your H?
I have confronted him in the individual circumstances that have popped up in the past, but I'm only now seeing it as a sort of problematic personality trait/weakness that needs to be addressed. I will bring this up and I hope this is brought up in his IC sessions as well. Thank you everyone for commenting. It's interesting to see how common this is in waywards but it makes sense.
[This message edited by Feelthrownaway at 1:43 PM, February 25th (Monday)]
What doesn't kill me, scars me.
They want to save them, help them, make life better for them. This type of person normally goes way out of his way for other people. Giving loans, giving rides to places, helping them with projects , etc.
Nikki, my husband is a KISA. He has always have high esteem he has has a BA. None of those describe him.
My WS is super smart, too. No degree because he got bored and wanted to make money instead. I say his esteem is low because he went around saving people vs working on himself.....
My WH was helping his employee (MOW) get out of her abusive marriage.
Even after D-day WH told me that he felt like I didn't NEED him.
Even after D-day WH told me that he felt like I didn't NEED him.
Yeah, so did mine. After DD, he told me that I didn't need him but she did. He was saving her life don't you know...... Only it turns out that she made the whole abused spouse story up.
Yeah, so did mine. After DD, he told me that I didn't need him but she did
My thoughts are that someone with KISA tendencies probably lacked needed validation as they were growing up. In my WH case he struggled to get his fathers approval. He didn't get much in the way of loving displays from his dad, and no validation when he had an accomplishment. As an adult my WH requires copious amounts of compliments/approval over even the smallest things. If he makes a new meal, for instance, he has to ask someone 3 or 4 times if they like it. It's like it didn't sink in the first time, he didn't even process the compliment, he has to ask again. Anyway, this damsel in distress comes along and it is an easy person to get validation from. Take these
poor women in their awful and abusive situations and then someone who is seeking validation and reassurance and - bingo! You have nearly and endless supply.
I have been doing a lot of reading and spent lots of time on the Art of Love online forum recently. Many men apparently need to feel that they are making their wives/SOs happy to feel successful; it can be essential to them. Self esteem issues would make that even more important. I think that in most long term relationships with independent women we get away from making our husbands feel needed; I frankly did not know that he needed that. Again, I was that independent woman too.
Now that I am more aware of that I am very careful with criticism and very quick to praise. He has blossomed. He opens my car door, he helps around the house, he makes my toes curl every chance he gets. When I truly let him he became my hero. True the dynamic we had fallen into was largely his fault, but I can really help to improve things myself.
And yes, his LTA was largely KISA in origin.
[This message edited by BaldwinBeauty59 at 3:03 PM, February 25th (Monday)]
Yes! He will go out of his way to be the helpful "nice guy" to someone else. Wouldn't lift a finger for me though. I take that back..whenever we were around other people, he suddenly became my KISA with outward gestures. Then we'd get back at home and that all flew out the window. His AP was a damsel in distress. She was addicted to drugs, lost custody of her kids, her husband cheated on her and left her (oh the irony on that one) and he said that all of their contact (that was CLEARLY already an EA) was just him "trying to be helpful" according to him. He couldn't have NC because that would hurt her feelings (nevermind that he was breaking promises and his wife's heart) Ugh..I still can't believe I dealt with that madness. Then it became a PA and all his excuses of the EA turned into blameshifting and rewriting history.
[This message edited by Housefulloflove at 3:04 PM, February 25th (Monday)]
I get that. But when I needed him he wasnt there for me. I lost my grandfather and father within 6 mos of each other. He wasnt there for me. When I did ask for his help, he would literally tell me "you're smart, you'll figure it out"...I guess the wheel that squeaks the loudest gets the most oil....
"I would ask many of you...and maybe I am way off base here....but how many of your WS's have low self esteem, or possibly not highly educated that they feel "less then" so to speak so they over compensate with this KISA type of personality? Its like the only way they know of to have people like them"
My FWH is highly educated and in upper management. He was suffering low self esteem temporarily because due to the bad economy, he had recently been laid off from his job of nearly 30 years. He tied his identity with his career and felt like a failure to his family. He accepted a job out of state against my wishes and the move was hard on me. I was unhappy with his decision and our new life. Howorker at his new job zeroed in on him as he was the new boss and seduced him. He was ripe for the picking. I truly believe that if she hadn't interfered with our M, I would have adjusted to our new circumstances, his self esteem would have returned after he got over the hurt of being laid off and feeling old and discarded so that he would not have been in a vulnerable position and cheated. She lied and deceived him that she was an abused wife and "needed" his help. Once she got his sympathy she went in for the kill. Doesn't excuse his poor choices. He should have refused her advances and he should have talked to me about how he was feeling and that she was coming to him for "help". He chose to keep his friendship with her a secret from me because he enjoyed her adulation, her adoration, and her hero worship of him. Now that he knows it was all fake, he feels pretty damn stupid. He knows that if he is ever a KISA to any other woman that I will D his ass. One of the boundaries is NO personal conversations with any female coworkers. If she has a personal problem, he is to direct her to another female staff member, tell her to call a relative, friend, whomever as long as it is NOT him.
ETA: The idea of "I am head of my castle, I am a good provider, so my castle is protected," and then noticing someone else's castle is in trouble and going to check on them... Except then not having the good boundaries to be a team with your family, and letting yourself go down the slippery slope into an A while maintaining that role.
[This message edited by silverhopes at 3:44 PM, February 25th (Monday)]
I want to bring up something I posted about in another forum, about a topic which keeps getting repeated here, and that is that our WH felt that we did not need them and/or did not help us when we did need them.
I don't think this is a KISA thing. I think it's a validation thing.
There was a period of time where my wife was openly chatting with OM until I confronted her about it, we had a big argument and she promised me she wouldn't talk to him anymore. During that time, there was a conversation/argument that involved the following exchange:
Me: "Why is it you only seem happy when you talk to that guy anymore?"
Her: "He has a lot of things going on. It's just great to feel needed for once."
Me: "But I need you." Granted I said that last in a kind of whiny and plaintive voice but she was already back to typing away at him anyway and I'm not sure if it was even heard or not.
That exchange isn't necessarily verbatim but it's close enough. See, I *did* need my wife at that time. We also have children that needed her. She really was wanted and needed, but not in the way the OM expressed "need" - and she got her 'ego kibbles' or whatever people call that kind of validation.
I will say that I did feel pretty emasculated by being totally ignored there. Unnecessary. Just some dude who smelled bad and got in the way around the house. I think there are a lot of BW around here who feel completely undermined in the same way though. The "you aren't so special I need you around" kind of thing is pretty universal IMO.
We have discussed this and he now recognises it and we are discussing what kind of help is OK and what is not. He still doesn't get it right all the time.
Funny thing I note is that when I am triggering bad, the one thing I DO NOT want is for him to be my KISA. I do not want to be put into the category of one of his helpless damsels. I am independent, can look after myself. I don't want a lift home. I want to walk myself. I am above needing his flirty gallantry. He can keep that for his ex OW. That is in the past
There has to come a time when the person needing that validation has to find that strength within themselves.
Amen to that!
It's really just predatory behavior of looking for the "weak" to feed themselves.
I've definitely seen this too. Or seen people outright take the role of predator in order to find someone to abuse - they save someone, and then the person owes them forever, or if their whole goal was to prey from the very start then they become the next abuser, which then calls for another "KISA"... Sick, sick, sick. And the "damsel" might have their own KISA complex of saving the abuser from him/herself, or else a learned helplessness to keep themselves searching for and "needing" KISAs. Like you said, tending their own drama llamas.
GRAET points!
Before I knew the phrase KISA, I called it 'picking up strays'. It didn't matter if it was a man or a woman; the X always found the most down-trodden person in the crowd and befriended them. They could be the most screwed up, white-hot mess of a human being, but he was their best buddy. He has serious self-esteem issues, and this made him feel better about himself.
during our most recent R attempt, he "had to help the female bartender close the place and take out the garbage for her".....and he "had to give her his number becuse she was going through a really tough time"
he never in well over 14 years has ever taken the garbage out for me.......or listened when I was going through a tough time
and he wonders why no more R ever for us!
[This message edited by luvedmypbear at 6:27 AM, February 26th (Tuesday)]
The #1 thing that attracted me to him 43 years ago was his gallantry. Had no idea the trouble that would bring.
What started out as admirable has grown to become pathological and damaging. Both of his OWs were DID (dumsels in distress)
He wanted to buy OW1 a dinner theatre ticket (to see MY show) because "she doesn't get out much", wanted to bring her home for supper "because she's worked so hard today" and when I said no he took her out for supper instread. He hauled rocks for her ( wouldn't for me) fixed up her place, fixed her car, drove her around, gave her parenting advice, gave her MY foot massage bath for her poor tired tootsies, took her out to eat every day. She gave him ego kibbles. And used him as a sugar daddy. MOW2 was an immigrant who needed him. To help her with English as a second language, he signed up as a tutor (neglected to tell me for months) He spent weeks and $ renovating her new love nest room. Even her BH tried to tell me, "oh he nice man, he helping business". (Really? 20 Business calls a day at all hours? )
I am so sick of hearing how "nice" he is. He has made a career of it. but it is not about the people, it is about how he is SEEN.
Interestingly, some narcissists love to be KISA because it makes them look good.
I think this describes him.
- lack of validation in FOO. Looking for approval
- bottomless pit in terms of needing pats on the hand/head.
- thrives on the "everybody loves D"
- engages WAY over the normal convention with absolutely everyone but particulary females. ( I had to meet him for business the other day and as I listened to his tired old lines to all and sundry, I thought to myself that he uses his charm to grease all relationships. He's just a gigantic "tube of lube", lol)
He told me that:
OW1 reminded him of his sister who died of alcoholism that he wasn't able to "save".
He needs someone to "take care of."
( how about me?)
MOW2 admires his business acumen and gives him validation.
He has now rewritten our history so that "Treblclef" didn't admire and pat him enough and he was justified in getting that elsewhere. I think the sex was just a bonus.
The term "knight in shining armor" is one he has used himself forever - as a compliment of course. I'm sick of hearing it. He has such an overwhelming need to impress and get attention and strokes for doing it!
No "secret" deeds for him. His pathological need to be seen as the good guy has taken over his life and affects every decision he makes.
I have to keep reminding myself that there is a huge difference in being SEEN as the good guy, and BEING a good guy. For him it's all about what people will think of him and what he will get back.
Like many things, being a KISA is a good trait that turns malignant in excess.
However, there's a dark side. Because of an abusive, alcoholic FOO, WH is uber sensitive to feeling like a failure. When he's under a lot of stress, mistakes don't feel like mistakes--they feel like proof that he is an inferior, unworthy person.
So, when WH thought he may have made a big mistake in research (turned out he didn't), this triggered shame that he wasn't good enough and fear that I would find out that he didn't deserve me, and a general emptiness.
What could he do to avoid these awful feelings of insecurity and weakness? Enter WH the KISA. Time to duck into the phone booth and don the Captain Save-a-ho tights (Thanks, NikkiD)
It wasn't that WH really cared about OW. He wanted to feel better, and being a KISA let him feel powerful and important.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful, sweet princess (friendless, workaholic, damaged OW with zero self-esteem).
A wicked witch trapped the princess in a tower. (OW manipulated WH for months until he saw her as an abandoned, innocent victim of child abuse who desperately needed him.)
The princess sent a secret message to her noble KISA. (OW told WH that if she died, her body would rot alone in her apartment because no one cared about her.)
Valiant KISA galloped over hill and dale to the tower. (WH drove to her apartment and found her naked, sobbing in her bed.)
The KISA swept up the princess and rescued her, and they lived happily ever after. (WH fucked OW.)
However, WH actually loves me and our family is the most meaningful thing in his life . . . He was hit with guilt, shame and fear of losing us whenever he couldn't keep the A compartmentalized and separate from us. So, he would try to end the A. OW would get desperate, hysterical, and threaten suicide, and *fanfare, please* KISA would ride again.
[This message edited by sailorgirl at 12:43 PM, February 26th (Tuesday)]
Like many things, being a KISA is a good trait that turns malignant in excess.
Isn't that the truth!
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 1:27 PM, February 26th (Tuesday)]
Then they take off and give it to someone else and tell us that we don't need them. Crazy backwards thinking.
[This message edited by CantacceptThis at 3:27 PM, February 26th (Tuesday)]
You all realize that they don't become "kisa's" for others until they have trained us BS's to do absolutely EVERYTHING at home. They do nothing at home...or very little, or procrastinate so we learn to train ourselves to be self sufficient. We pay the bills, we take care of the kids, we take care of the house...we do it because we love them and think we are being oh so helpful.
Then they take off and give it to someone else and tell us that we don't need them. Crazy backwards thinking.
Wow I'm speechless. It is EXACTLY my situation. My WH said he felt I didn't need him. Well duh after not being helped with 2 kids for so long no I'm not gonna need his help. They are idiots, the lot of them
Cheese-its........that's it. We need to get some male insight on how in the hell it goes from helpful to fycking
Affair #1: He was "saving" HoWorker from her evil husband who worked 2 jobs to support her and their child which caused him to not provide the unappreciative spoiled gold digger with enough attention.
Affair #2: He had to "save" Army Whore from the horrible situation between baby daddy #2 and her daughter. The girl told everyone he was molesting her, and CPS got involved, so she just HAD to have a shoulder to cry on about her horrible choices in men. And while I understand that is a HORRIBLE thing that happened, I don't feel an ounce sorry for her, I only feel sad for her innocent daughter.
Boundaries now include: NO HELPING ANYONE BUT YOUR WIFE, MOTHER & SISTER! I don't care if the woman needs CPR or for someone to talk her off a ledge, you scream for help & get your ass home. Sad...but HE put himself in the situations to require such boundaries.
I believe it was more about him needing external validation. I was pretty wrapped up in my work and hobbies and staying sober. I think he wanted someone that "needed" him and he knew I didn't.
Doesn't make what he did okay but it helps me to understand his weakness. I actually look for ways to make him feel needed now. I have given myself permission to be weak at times so he can be my KISA.
It's a fine line to walk (being needy but not too needy) but I see him "light up" whenever I ask him for help, ask him to take care of something, or state that he is better at something than I am.
Cheese-its........that's it. We need to get some male insight on how in the hell it goes from helpful to fycking
As in, do KISAs just bullshit their way into Vaginatown?
I'm sure some do, but that's not really a KISA imo, it's some dbag playing a woman. These men and women who portray as a KISA aren't just in it for sex but for all the other validation and look-good reasons that come with it. Sex happens as part of the HowCanIEverRepayYou thing sure, or ICanBeABetterManWithYouSavingMe shit, but the sex is just one part of the picture, not the end result IMO.
In his case, he believed these things about her, and she set him up to fill those needs. i.e. fueled that image of being the only person on the continent who really understood her, etc. and granted this was pure B$. While they had met years ago and had a brief fling, that was it. He didn't really know her. I would argue that he still doesn't.
And he went out of the way to be there for her, while I really needed his support, since we had moved away from my career, family, friends, support network......KISA thing only seems to operate for needy others- not for your own partner....
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
Boundaries now include: NO HELPING ANYONE BUT YOUR WIFE, MOTHER & SISTER! I don't care if the woman needs CPR or for someone to talk her off a ledge, you scream for help & get your ass home. Sad...but HE put himself in the situations to require such boundaries.
The above quote is the only way to save a KISA from himself! That boundary is a must.
My KISA took OW home from work while I had to walk home from work. 4 miles in such extreme heat I just about had a heat stroke. I'll never forget that day. I had locked my key in the car, and I called him because I knew he was on his way home from work and he had a spare key to my car. It would have worked out fine, but he had to take his slut home first.
That's just one example of many.
Catlover, I do see your point. I thought the same way. Everyone needs to feel needed. I never could figure it out, but for some reason, it wasn't enough that I needed him. He had to be needed by other females, too.
Even when he was helping me with something, if I was at work, he had to seek others. He wasn't capable of being an adult and entertaining himself for a few hours. He had to play the hero ALL the time.
When I see KISA my mind automatically interprets it with an SS on the end - kissass.
My KISA would "help" even men. It took me years to realize why. These men who needed help had a wife or daughter that he was after. They became his prey.
As someone pointed out, the KISA is often the prey of a user who cares not that she is destroying his M. She wants to destroy his M so that she gets all his money, time and attention. She's too stupid to realize that all his money will go to alimony & child support if the M ends.
I saw this trait in my H when we were in our first years of M. I told him I admired him for his helpful ways and I wanted to be his partner in it. I figured that was the smartest way for me to handle it, because I saw what a problem it could become. OH, NO! No, he didn't want that. HE wanted to get ALL the glory himself. Big waving red flag!
A KISA ia a predator looking for his prey, plain and simple, no matter what they try to tell you, that's the way it is. They often find a user who is after prey herself, and they get sucked in. Serves them right.
Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M
I'm wondering how does it jump from listening/providing advice to the DIDs to screwing them? And in doing so, jeopardizing EVERYthing??
JM asked me this one day. He said he had never intended for anything to happen, he was only trying to be her friend. He could not understand how he ended up getting kicked out of our house and then in bed with her.
Then he said he was afraid that while he was getting his sh*t together, some guy who already had it together would come along and "rescue" me. I told him the answer to both those questions was the same: I had boundaries and he didn't.
I said to him, "You didn't protect yourself and you didn't protect us. First you opened up your life to her. Then you opened up your heart to her. Then you opened up your pants."
That's how it happened for us.
I get that. But when I needed him he wasnt there for me. I lost my grandfather and father within 6 mos of each other. He wasnt there for me. When I did ask for his help, he would literally tell me "you're smart, you'll figure it out"...I guess the wheel that squeaks the loudest gets the most oil
I think people assume that the "saving" is altruistic. Not at all. It's like any collector. Needs new sources. You've been collected. Now for fresh.
They aren't seeing anyone's pain with the empathy part of the brain anymore than sharks see floundering as something need to assist with. They're looking for their toothpicks.
They just don't recognize the margay. These little suckers can mimic the sounds of baby monkeys then when the adults come in for the save...surprise, surprise, surprise. Deceiptively cute little suckers, and voila...predator becomes prey.
[This message edited by uncertainone at 11:33 AM, February 28th (Thursday)]
The word "knight" gives it a far more noble ring than it deserves. It's really just predatory behavior of looking for the "weak" to feed themselves. "Funny" thing is the "weak" they find ain't so weak at all.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. WSO wants/needs to believe OW was less responsible. Perhaps if he believes this he can still be a "dry" KISA. So I am wondering why: because of his own grandiosity, his issues with power or control, or/and resentment:
See I didn't need him, not in that way. And I wasn't going to ever be that way. Just not who I am.
I understand compliments and appreciation. Reading the posts about an insatiable hunger for validation from other people - again, IMO both WSO and OW gave/received their admiration fix while playing the part of KISA.
There's a world of difference between doing something or helping someone while expecting nothing in return and being a KISA while participating in infidelity.
As in, do KISAs just bullshit their way into Vaginatown?
They both put a lot of time and effort into foreplay in the form of conversation, validation, secrets, flirting, justifying, etc. I think and believe it took a lot of thought, effort, and energy to be in a LTA. It eventually becomes impossible to maintain the KISA behavior in an affair.
Needs new sources. They aren't seeing anyone's pain with the empathy part of the brain.
Not a great recipe for R and I'm sure most Bs have thought about both.
When I see KISA my mind automatically interprets it with an SS on the end - kissass.
^ I love this by the way I think I will use it as my new term for KISA.
KISA's help other people rather than their own family because when they help dumsels in distress, they are a hero, gaining mass amounts of praise and validation (which they crave) vs. helping their family, which is simply fulfilling their responsibilities which won't garner nearly as much validation
Naivewife, this rings so true for me. WH was actually a helpful husband and an involved father. But deep down, he "knew" he was a bad seed (childhood abuse, never dealt with). When his fear of being a worthless failure got triggered, he needed a huge infusion of hero worship, not just acknowledgement of responsibilities fulfilled.
OW (let's have it stand for Overwhelming Wreckage) was ready and willing to tell him he was her one and only KISA.
Steven (Stephen) Karpman IDed the Drama Triangle in which there are 3 roles - Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor. It looks to me like KISAs take on the Rescuer role.
Sisoon mentioned the Karpman Triangle. I fall into the Rescuer category most of the time, but easily cycle through the other roles too. I recognize where this came from in my childhood.
The Rescuer can be seen a KISA but for myself I see the similarities with control patterns of codependent behavior too. I tried to fix situations and people. It was instinct. I'd give an opinion whether the person wanted it or not.
Soon, I would get bored or frustrated if I saw that the person was not trying to fix themselves....and why should they if I was there to do it for them? Then I would drop them and move on to something else. I didn't want the person to stay indebted to me, or to stay in the victim role too long. I wanted them to see the error of their ways and straighten up.
I don't think I was looking to be seen as a hero. Validation from the person was not my main goal or reward. But we all get something out of a behavior or we wouldn't do it. I think liked feeling I was competent and useful, someone with all the answers, until I was expected to have all the answers and then I would get overwhelmed and annoyed. Makes perfect sense.
None of this is easy to identify, especially when you are in the middle of it and it's even harder to change when it's played out a million times before.
Of course, affairs are the perfect triangle, with all 3 roles in play. I found it the easiest to examine and then see how the same behavior played out in other triangles in my life.
My stbxh had a old flame call for a shoulder to cry on when she was getting a divorce, however stbxh
knew how much it hurt me, we went through a bunch of MC's all saying that it was wrong and now we are headed down the road to the big D.
stbxh knows that the relationship he has with OW (which they are now exploring feelings they have for each other that would not be there if I had left well enuf alone) is going crash and burn but he would rather go save all his exs than his own wife and marriage.
I just don't get it, what he is getting out of it, or what he could possibly stand to gain.
[This message edited by darklilly23 at 8:47 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]


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Find records of Harry Abbiss
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Harry F Abbiss (1911 - 1995) was born on October 12, 1911. He was born into the Abbiss family.
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November 22, 2014
Gainesville, FL--Will Muschamp continues to try and fix a dysfunctional group of Gators as they prepare for homecoming against Vanderbilt.
Florida now 4-4 after the loss to Georgia. That a game that saw the Florida defense give up two first quarter touchdowns, but only 3 field goals the rest of the way. Still that was enough to get them beat 23-20.
The Gators did hit a deep ball early themselves but couldn't find success deep the rest of the way, coach Muschamp asked this week about the failure yet again for any kind of consistent downfield passing game.
"Well again it's not one thing that you can put your hand on and say this is it. Whether it's a route run standpoint, they take away coverage or they roll up on it, you've got to check the ball down. Or go back to the other side. There's protection, we had an over route open late in the game that we missed, you've gotta hit that ball, it's a big gainer or a possible touchdown. Just, to me it's different things. We've got to, when we get those opportunities we've got to cash in on them."
The Vandy game Saturday set for 11 central. The Gators desperately need that win for any realistic bowl potential!
Click Here to access the online Public Inspection File
Viewers with disabilities can get assistance accessing this station's FCC Public Inspection File by contacting the station with the information listed below. Questions or concerns relating to the accessibility of the FCC's online public file system should be directed to the FCC at 888-225-5322, 888-835-5322 (TTY), or email@example.com.


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Poison counter
A poison counter is a counter that may be given to a player to create an alternate way of winning the game. When a player has ten (10) or more of them, that player loses the game. A player is "poisoned" if he or she has one or more poison counters.
The poison mechanic was introduced in Legends with Pit Scorpion and Serpent Generator and appeared in sets up until Visions but was never strongly supported. The mechanic resurfaced in Future Sight and afterwards became a major theme in the entire Scars of Mirrodin block. [1] That block provided three different cardboard versions as part of the marketing cards. [2]
Poison was also considered for the unreleased Unglued 2. [3]
From the Comprehensive Rules
- 104.3d If a player has ten or more poison counters, he or she loses the game the next time a player would receive priority. (This is a state-based effect. See rule 704.)
In Two-Headed Giant, a team with fifteen (15) poison counters loses the game.
From the Comprehensive Rules
- 810.8d If a team has fifteen or more poison counters, that team loses the game. (This is a state-based action. See rule 704.)
Since the counters have no other properties, and rarely any other card affects or is affected by them, they do not hold much power in the metagame. Two keyword abilities use poison counters to inflict damage: "Infect", and "Poisonous". With infect; how many poison counters a creature deals to an opponent is equal to its power: 1/1 = deals 1 poison counter. 3/2 = deals 3 poison counters. These are dealt instead of regular damage, not in addition to it. However, with "Poisonous", the number of poison counters dealt in damage is equal to the N value in Poisonous N. For example, a 1/1 creature with Poisonous 2 deals 2 poison counters, as well as the 1 (non-poison) Damage, from the creature's power.
Cards using poison counter(s) before the keyword Infect & Poisonous[edit]
- Crypt Cobra
- Marsh Viper
- Pit Scorpion
- Sabertooth Cobra
- Serpent Generator which creates Snake artifact creatures
- Suq'Ata Assassin
- Swamp Mosquito
- ↑ Mark Rosewater. (September 06, 2010.) "Something Wicked This Way Comes, Part 1", Daily MTG, magicthegathering.com, Wizards of the Coast.
- ↑ Monty Ashley. (April 20, 2011.) "The Changing Face of Poison", Daily MTG, magicthegathering.com, Wizards of the Coast.
- ↑ Magic Arcana. (June 27, 2005.) "Mad Beetdown!", Daily MTG, magicthegathering.com, Wizards of the Coast.


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Need retro appetizer ideas (recipes) for a themed New Year's Eve party.
Friends are having a retro cocktail party for new year's eve. Any ideas for appetizers that don't need to be cooked right before eating or can be just served warm, room temp (they have a ridiculously small kitchen). or cold? Thanks in advance!
re: sbgirl
Pigs in a blanket, deviled ham ....anything on a Ritz cracker....cheddar cheese..etc.
Crudite with the ubiquitous Lipton's onion soup mix/sour cream dip.
Cocktail peanuts/nuts. Port wine spreadable cheese in a crock.....
re: sbgirl
For a little twist on the celery boats, I really enjoyed this recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/r... It's very subtle but tasty. I think I used a few dashes of Tapatio instead of cayenne, but same basic principle.
This recipe is from the 1966 cookbook, "Cooking With Soup - A Campbell Cookbook".
English Muffin Pronto Pizza
How about the block of cream cheese covered with a jar of ??? whatever...I've seen that recipe bandied about and I do believe it may have originated somewhere from 'back in the day.' Of course, you serve it with Ritz crackers... I also have a recipe for Shrimp Mousse which I think is also quite retro if you'd like it.
re: gansu girl
Thanks for the completion of the recipe! I knew I'd never eaten it nor have served it but I knew it was a retro recipe! Glad you were convincing enough!
Chex Mix is turning 50 this year, I think, so that would be appropriate for the fiftes, sixties, seventies, and eighties! FriedClamFanatic posted this variation recently.
"Spicy Chex Mix! Add a lot of red pepper, extra cashews and peanuts, Kix and Cheerios, potato sticks and Bugles. Double the amount of Worcestershire. A sure hit!"
Swedish meatballs. You can reheat them easily or keep them in a small crock pot (slow cooker).
If anyone has a fondu pot, that is very retro and you might be able to throw it together outside of the main kitchen activity.
Cheeze whiz on ritz crackers with a spanish olive slice.
i'm sure you can find some ideas here...
re: pcdarnell
Are you my sibling? My mother used to make the exact same thing all the time. In fact, I think she still serves it to her friends! I've never even tasted it.
re: brooklyn44
Couple of things come to mind;
Rumaki....my friend does a version without chicken livers, she uses pickled watermelon rind and water chestnuts.
Dried Beef smeared with cream cheese, rolled up and stuck to a grapefruit with a toothpick.
Cream cheese ball with Spanish olives rolled in torn up pieces of dried beef.
Marinated Mushrooms
Stuffed Mushrooms
Chili Con Queso...bring in a small crockpot
Baked Brie
In Maryland we did cocktail sauce on top of a cream cheese block with lump crab....on Ritz of course.
We also had these "lamb's eyes" (morbid name, I know)....bacon wrapped prunes (with a toothpick) broiled...you sprinkle them with cayenne before broiling for a little kick. REALLY tasty!
For the "Swedish" meatballs...we had a neighbor who make sweet-and-sour ones...one bag of frozen meatballs, one jar of Smucker's grape jelly, and one jar of Heinz Cocktail sauce in a crock pot.
re: winecafe95
Don't laugh at the meatballs! As I write, I have these Cranberry Cocktail Meatballs cooking in the oven. These use cranberry sauce instead of grape jelly and I made this batch with ground chicken rather than beef for a change (not sure how it will come out but we will see). I make a big batch and freeze them in smaller portions. My kids love them for dinner with pasta!
Try <a href=http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/20...> from Pioneer Woman. Veeerrry retro and mid-20th century. Club crackers, sprinkled with canned "parmesan", wrapped in bacon and baked. I adore these appetizers, almost as much as I like dates wrapped in bacon.


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- Shoes at the Shows: London Fashion Week Read More »
- London Fashion Week: Nicholas Kirkwood Read More »
Latest Posts in London Fashion Week
20 September 2011
Burberry Prorsum is always an eagerly awaited affair, so we were excited to see the pictures roll in from this exclusive LFW show. As is often the case, Christopher Bailey had gone for a rather more wintry look for S/S 12 than many of his contemporaries, but
20 September 2011
We're heading into the tail end of LFW today, but that hasn't stopped the crowds from turning out in more and more exciting footwear as the days go on. As ever, today's street style round-up features fabulous shoes from designer and high street brands alike:
19 September 2011
Charlotte Olympia has been a firm Shoewawa favourite for years since the very first core collection of tree-trunk platforms appeared. It's really exciting to see the label expand, and now there are hundreds more styles to admire. Steph Powell from our sister
18 September 2011
Charlotte Olympia's London Fashion Week presentation was a big draw at LFW earlier today, and Kissandmakeup's Steph Powell went along to take a look at the home-grown designer's latest collection. She also took a trip backstage to check out the styling, but it
17 September 2011
London Fashion week is now in full swing, and along with our friends at Catwalk Queen, the Shoewawa team have been all over the shows checking out the hottest trends for spring/summer 2012. The weather here in London has been so pleasant that we can almost
1 March 2011
In an age of comfy wedges, sheepskin boots and (of course) Crocs, one might conclude that walking in heels is a dying art. But Jess Markwood, intrepid Editor of our sister site OSOYou, has proven that style is as important as ever, as she managed to keep her
23 February 2011
We may have been gushing more than a little about the fabulous and exciting new pieces we've had the pleasure of viewing over the past few days but not everything at London Fashion Week has been an instant hit. The just is still out on the boots from Betty
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- Dolce & Gabbana showcase thei Spring / Summer 2014 collection...
- Christopher Kane showcases his new take on florals for Spring...


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In an wonderful salutation to eccentricity, the console war (erstwhile confined to schoolyard humor to the effect of 'Sonic is only for flamboyant homosexuals, quite a bold lifestyle choice to have committed to at this fledgling stage in our development. Furthermore, your mama's fat and you can't play tag with us") took a disconcerting reality bent this week. Alas, not as booby as this image by Deviantartist mikeinel suggests, but an extraordinary sight nevertheless. Three geeks of monumental proportions dicking around in a field, murdering each other RIGHT UP with gaming paraphernalia for the delectation of a camera, isn't something you see often. We'll concede that they seem like the kind of guys who would have to retire after these antics to go and hose their mothers down, but the link is in the article; should you wish to subject your squelching visual circuits to such a spectacle.
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text: If Gawker's Stalker maps just aren't doing it for you now that George Clooney has diluted the celebrity spottings, we've got just the solution. We've decided not to tell you where we've spotted stars, but where the stars are scheduled to be in the next week. If you didn't get a chance to run down to the Midtown precinct yesterday to see Naomi Campbell behind bars, there's still a chance to spot some other celebs. Find out where one Baldwin, a few drunken reality stars, the mafia, one poppa(zao)and more will be in the next week after the jump.


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Product Details
Gold Mexican Libertads are absolutely stunning coins that stand out in any collection, and because of their limited mintage, they are rarely seen in North America!
Gold -- why buy Gold from APMEX?Gold is one of the world's favorite bullion investments and is a popular way to diversify one's wealth. Call our Account Managers toll free at (800) 375-9006 or click on the "Live Chat" button. APMEX is where to buy Precious Metals! Also, you can come to us when it is time to sell Gold, Silver, Platinum, and Palladium.
|Product ID:
|Brilliant Uncirculated
|Grade Service:
|1 Onza
|Mint Mark:
|Mo - Mexico City
|Metal Content:
|1 troy oz
|Banco de Mexico
|2.5 mm
|34.5 mm
Reviewed by 2 customers
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Comments about 2014 1 oz Gold Mexican Libertad (Brilliant Uncirculated):
rare, beautiful IRA approved coin .
very satisfied with the service .Would like to purchase more in the future.
only i cannot find a coin capsule for this oin like i can find with other coins such as 1 oz gold buffalos. or old eaglesSend a letter to APMEX , the folks were couteous enough to send replacement capsules ,but they must be outdated because the soft pliable ring gasket insode the plastic capsules are all hard and dessicated out . Lucky ,i ordered only 6 of them . Anyway ,thanks for trying .
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as always, a 5-star purchase - coin and service.
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The Carving on the Tree
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Authors: Campbell, Elizabeth A. (Elizabeth Anderson)
Title: The carving on the tree
Publisher: Boston, Little, Brown [1968]
Edition: 1st ed
Characteristics: 88 p. illus. (part col.) 25 cm
Summary: Recounts how England's first attempts to colonize Virginia resulted in the mystery of the lost colony of Roanoke Island, still unsolved after three hundred years.
Additional Contributors:
Branch Call Number: 973.1 CA
Statement of Responsibility: by Elizabeth A. Campbell. Illustrated by William Bock
Subject Headings: Roanoke Island (N.C.) History Roanoke Colony
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In a culture that prizes youth, its no surprise that well pay twice as much for a half-size fruit or vegetable if its called a baby. But are those Lilliputian Brussels sprouts and their ilk actually young? And do they have a special taste?
What to Look For
If youre a fan of canned baby corn, best known for its roles in Chinese takeout and the movie Big, then the fresh infant ears are for you. Less than three inches long once shucked, they have a crisp, refreshing, delicately corn flavor. Blanch and toss them into salads, or quarter lengthwise and stir-fry ($10 per pound at Dean & DeLuca).
Baby papaya is not immature papaya but a smaller, sweeter variety currently coming in from Brazil. When ripened until soft and hit with a squeeze of lime, this pear-size fruit proves that papaya is not insipid ($4 each at Dean & DeLuca).
If youve ever attempted to amuse a child by calling Brussels sprouts baby cabbages, how are you going to explain baby Brussels sprouts? Once the outer leaves have been trimmed, this small mature type imported from Holland is about the size of a hazelnut. Theyre small enough to cook through when pan-roasted, and they have a firm texture and sweet, nutty flavor. Reduce the cooking time and use them in place of regular-size sprouts they make this salad even more addictive (available at gourmet markets).
The Worlds Tiniest Popcorn the name is followed, on the bag, by We think comes from a native American corn that grows to about two inches and yields tender yet crisp popcorn about half the size of the movie-theater standard. Try the tangy white-Cheddar flavor ($3.50 per four-and-a-half-ounce bag at Dean & DeLuca).
This Just In
Kiwiberries a.k.a. souris vegetale (thats vegetable mouse in French), a.k.a. baby kiwis have smooth, edible, dark-green skin, and juicy flesh studded with tiny black seeds; their sweetness is offset by tart berry and guava flavors. With loads of vitamin C, these fruits, just coming in from New Zealand, make an excellent snack. Ripen on the counter for a day or two, when they darken and yield to gentle pressure ($4.59 per four and a half ounces at the Manhattan Fruit Exchange). Zoe Singer


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STONY BROOK, N.Y. (AP) - Sarah Holden scored her fourth goal with 2:02 remaining in double overtime and No. 4 Syracuse upset top-seeded Florida 14-13 on Friday to advance to its first women's lacrosse national championship game.
Holden made a move from up top and buried a bounce shot by Florida goaltender Misty Meagher.
"It actually was kind of slow motion," Holden said. "I remember specifically the first play of the game when we were in our set offense, and I went low and the goalie made a save.
"I was 100-percent certain that would not happen to me again. So, I just did a split dodge (move), buried it and it went in."
The goal completed the second-largest comeback in NCAA Division I tournament history. In the 2007 semifinals, Duke blew a nine-goal lead against Virginia, which scored the final 10.
The win gave Syracuse its first victory against a top-ranked team in 16 tries.
"We just didn't give up," Syracuse coach Gary Gait said. "We fought to the very end, and did whatever it took to get the job done. Sometimes, it takes a lucky bounce here or there, but we just kept getting them."
Michelle Tumolo and Alyssa Murray added three goals apiece for the Orange (19-3), who overcame a pair of seven-goal deficits and will face Northwestern _ a 9-7 winner over Maryland in the second semifinal _ on Sunday night.
"I think it's been our whole motto this year," Tumolo said. "We look at each other in the eyes, and we don't give up. We had each other's back. Each one of these girls looked me in the eye and said, 'we are not going to lose this game no matter what happens.'"
Shannon Gilroy scored five goals for Florida (19-3), which failed to become the first program in its third year of existence to reach the championship game. Brittany Dashiell added four goals for the Gators, who blew leads of 11-4 and 12-5.
Florida appeared to have won with nine seconds remaining in the first overtime but Gabi Wiegand's low shot was disallowed when officials ruled she was using an illegal stick.
"We were obviously elated," Florida coach Amanda O'Leary said. "It was a great play we set up. Unfortunately, stick checks are part of the game and they found it was illegal."
The illegal stick was brought to the attention of the officials by Murray, who was the closest Syracuse player to any official.
"If it's the winning goal or the tying goal, you just want to make sure if there's anything you can do to call it back," Murray said. "We're fighting for our lives out there."
Backup goaltender Kelsey Richardson made four saves after replacing Alyssa Costantino in the second half. Among Richardson's saves included key stops on Gilroy and Dashiell as the Orange were starting their comeback.
The Gators held their second seven-goal lead after Dashiell scored with 17:15 remaining. Syracuse answered with three straight goals in a span of 3:49 and was within 12-8 on Murray's goal at 7:49.
Florida scored its last goal when Gilroy beat Richardson with 7:19 left, but less than a minute later, Holden scored the first of five straight goals for Syracuse. Among them was the tying goal when she moved in on Meagher and scored on a low shot from the center hash mark.
"The game is never over," Gilroy said, "until the buzzer goes off."
(Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)


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Social Security
U.Va. Creates Task Force Following Mailing Snafu
The University of Virginia's policies and procedures will be reviewed by a task force to ensure the personal information of students and staff is protected.
Trustees: Baby Boomers Will Exhaust Medicare Trust Fund By 2026
The government said Friday that Medicare's giant hospital trust fund will be exhausted in 2026, two years later than projected last year, while the date that Social Security will exhaust its trust fund remained unchanged at 2033.
Judges Sue Social Security Administration Over Case 'Quotas'
The union representing Social Security's administrative law judges is suing the agency, claiming judges are forced to decide more than 500 cases a year, a standard that sometimes results in benefits that would otherwise be denied if judges had more time to review evidence.
Obama Dines With Republican Senators Over Steak Dinner At White House
Over a steak dinner, President Barack Obama dined with a dozen Republican senators at the White House on Wednesday evening in search of common ground on a range of issues, most notably the budget, entitlements and tax reform.
Obama Supporter: 'This Is Not What I Expected From Him'
Liberal lawmakers from Congress and a coalition of like-minded groups rallied outside the White House on Tuesday, voicing frustration at the Democratic president they say has let them down by proposing cuts to Medicare and Social Security.
Liberal Groups Outraged Over Social Security Cuts In Obama Budget
Several liberal grassroots groups are opposing President Barack Obama's soon-to-be released budget for cutting Social Security.
Obama: Proposed Budget Not His 'Ideal Plan'
Confronting bipartisan criticism, President Barack Obama conceded Saturday his proposed budget is not his "ideal plan" but said it offers "tough reforms" to the nation's benefit programs while closing loopholes for the wealthy, a mix that he argued will provide long-term deficit reduction without harming the economy.
Supreme Court Indicates It May Rule in Favor of Federal Benefits For Gay Couples
The Supreme Court is indicating it could strike down the law that prevents legally married gay couples from receiving a range of federal benefits that go to married people.
Obama Bypasses Congress With Public Economic Pitch
Weeks before President Barack Obama's State of the Union address, White House aides were locking down a plan for the sales pitch that would follow during three days of travel focused on his main themes.
Democrats Criticize Cuccinelli for Book Remarks
Democratic lawmakers on Thursday denounced Republican Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli's remarks in his new book about government programs like Medicare and Social Security.


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11 March, 2013
Retrospekt's last outing for Bristol-based digital imprint Slime, "Rolling" was something of an unconfined floorfiller. "Popularity" flips the script, allowing the little-known producer to indulge his deeper side. He does this well, combining woozy chords and post-garage grooves with the head-nodding pulse of contemporary deep house and a smattering of ear-pleasing touches. The slower "Get It" is, if anything, even deeper, working some fuzzy nu-disco melodies and sparkling chords over a chugging groove. Like its predecessor, it gets just the right balance between comfy home listening fare and dancefloor-friendly shuffle.
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Shunya Theatre, the only South Asian-American troupe in Houston, presents Ira Hauptman's drama Partition. Starring Taher Lokhandwala, John Kaiser and Anjana Menon, Partition chronicles the story of a young, self-taught mathematician who leaves India and travels to England to work with a Cambridge professor on a math problem in 1913. Based on actual events, Partition examines the ways in which these two men from very different cultures come together and then move apart through math. Sara Kumar directs; Bradley Winkler and Jeff Dorman complete the cast.
800 Aurora Street
Houston, TX 77009
Category: Movie Theaters
Region: Heights
8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 3 p.m. Sundays. Through August 18. 14 Pews, 800 Aurora. For information, call 832-452-5193 or visit shunyatheatre.org. $16 to $20.
Fridays-Sundays. Starts: Aug. 2. Continues through Aug. 18, 2013


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- Publisher: Take-Two Interactive
- Release Date: Apr 13, 2009
- Summary: DCS: Black Shark is a PC game of the Russian Ka-50 attack helicopter and is the first title in a new Eagle Dynamics and The Fighter Collection simulation series: Digital Combat Simulator (DCS). Following Eagle Dynamics' tradition of excellence, "DCS: Black Shark" will bring an even more realistic simulation experience than its predecessor "Flaming Cliffs". DCS: Black Shark will offer an unprecedented level of realism in regards to flight dynamics, instruments modeling, avionics systems, and weapon systems. The artificial Intelligence of ground vehicles and helicopters has been improved dramatically as well as weapon modeling. A new Mission Editor includes a powerful electronic mapping system that allows user to easily create missions and campaigns. A new campaign system allows the front line of the battlefield to move back and fourth according to your mission success or failure. [Eagle Dynamics]… Collapse
- Developer: Eagle Dynamics
- Genre(s): Helicopter
- Cheats: On GameFAQs
- More Details and Credits »
Score distribution:
Positive: 9 out of 12
Mixed: 3 out of 12
Negative: 0 out of 12
We're confident in saying that the flight simming genre has been given a second lease of life almost singlehandedly by this one developer. Kudos to Eagle Dynamics and its beautiful rendition of Kamov's deadliest chopper.
There are plenty of air combat games and simulations out there, but the list of them that are truly spectacular is short, Black Shark can I feel be proudly counted as one of them.
Black Shark is the perfect game for anyone who isn't scared by a thick manual and a steep learning curve. Recommended for everyone who always wanted to learn how to fly for real.
If you're willing to log the necessary hours, train like a real pilot, and memorize the daunting complexities of one of the most difficult war machines every concocted, the rewards are many and the sense of authenticity will blow you away.
It desperately needs a more interactive in-game tutorial system to lessen the near-vertical learning curve, but there's currently nothing else that can challenge Black Shark in the hardcore heli-sim arena.
Each new product from Eagle Dynamics is one step closer to full-fledged training software, but game simulators are judged not only by their degree of realism. Eye appeal and diversity never hurt anyone.
Score distribution:
Positive: 6 out of 7
Mixed: 0 out of 7
Negative: 1 out of 7
Dec 27, 2010I do not normally write reviews for anything but DCS Black Shark was so good I have to tell someone. Eagle Dynamics have gone all out in simulating the Russian attack helicopter the KA-50. Black Shark is aimed specifically at the people who are hardcore flight simmers as it is simulating a single seat gunship where you do the job of both the pilot and gunner. The game allows for the level of realism to be played down but if you buy this game you clearly aren't in the mood easy street-although i do recommend starting there. However, due to a slight problem with the game not being able to un-pause for me on easy mode, I had to have it set to hardcore simulation. After several tutorials and many pages from the instructional pdf I was finally firing my first missiles at an LAV 25-with success. The game gets more and more enjoyable as you play it. Black Shark's graphics are well done but the true beauty of Black Shark is in the intense flight model and attention to detail when it comes to making this flight sim. I love this game and I fully recommend this game to anyone who is interested in a true gunship simulator.… Expand
Nov 1, 2012In my opinion still the best helicopter simulator today (2012). Even if you do not like combat, the detailed systems and damage model allows for a much more realistic experience than any civil simulator I know of. The current version is "Black Shark 2", which is not available on some platforms like Steam. The update costs roughly 20 bucks, so in most cases you should avoid to buy the old version.… Expand
Sep 8, 2011An amazing simulation that has reignited the genre. Beautifully made and a pleasure to experience. This is as real as it gets, has never been so true.
[anonymous]Jan 5, 2010The best helicopter sim since Longbow 2 and the best overall sim of 2009. Yes, it does use Starforce, but not the version that installs malware on your PC. It simply uses online activation which seems to be the norm these days. The learning curve is brutal, but if you stick with it it's highly rewarding.… Expand
IliasSJan 7, 2010This is one of the best sims in the market. Great graphics, great level of realism! A Combat Flight Sim fun would appreciate it 100%. It intergrates a mission/campaign editor and the community is always up to something. Starforce is a necessary evil but it caused me no problem at all! The game was at a very friendly price (28euros) given its quality. If you are a sim fun its a must buy! and if you aren't keep away since you 'll quit before even launching your first missile.… Expand
Jun 20, 2011A military-grade flight simulator available for you! That's not a marketing gimmick. It's a fact!
A military grade, historical (important milestone for hardcore simulation genre) flight simulator. As a trivia I'll add that DCS Black Shark allows difficulty and realism settings customization using which user can virtually change it to an arcade game. So what it so special about DCS Black Shark?
DCS Black Shark by Eagle Dynamics (ED) is a part of ED's planned policy of developing simulators for military and commercial (private) customers in parallel giving the private customers an opportunity to lay their hands on a product of practically the same quality as military customers. Apart from providing flight modeling, physics/damage modeling, systems modeling and replication of performance of real machines as realistically as it gets it also guarantees that ED's DCS series features only those aircrafts which the company have access to full documentation and people who professionally work around chosen aircrafts. No wild guesses and no aircrafts not actually in service. I do realize the text is not easy to read without formatting but it may be worth it. So, a 'military grade' description should said it all but here's a few additional thoughts about DCS Black Shark:
- get to know DCS BS by starting from viewing these
features and official site: http://www.digitalcombatsimulator.com/index.php?scr=default&end_pos=950&lang=en
video demonstrations:
FAQ: http://forums.eagle.ru/showthread.php?t=33527
- people who don't like helicopters or who flown Falcon 4.0 series exclusively enjoy DCS Black Shark, started tempted by all mentioned above
- there are videos, tracks (in-game replays) and articles presenting how some un-cut missions look like and what is to be done
- multiplayer missions for DCS Black Shark are often populated by ongoing air battles between human controlled fighter jets due to DCS BS multiplayer compatibility with Lock On Flaming Cliffs 2
- a system with 3.2 GHz Core 2 Duo processor, 3 GB of RAM and GF9600GT graphics card allows to play DCS Black Shark with FPS (frames per second) in 35-70 FPS range (!), when properly configured (medium to high settings)
- DCS BS runs better on dual core processors under Windows 7 and Vista and also features a special implementation of Vertical synchronization (Vsync) which allows higher frame rates when vsync is enabled
- DCS BS supports multi-monitor setups
- AI controlled helicopters seem to fly almost like they were human controlled rather than being thrown around the sky by an invisible 'hand' like in most other games
Believe me, there's a lot more! I just don't feel like writing essays :) Issues:
The most serious one I've found during over a year of playing is wingmen AI. They have to be commanded in a really strict and involving manner to keep them alive with us.… Expand
KarlLAug 9, 2009Paid $80 for this. Starforce wont accept my cd key. I cant play the game, And the store wont accept returns. I'd advise against buying this game, because there is a good chance your just going to be ripped off.… Expand


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6 Savoy cabbage leaves, blanched in boiling salted water, drained
250g/9oz butternut squash, peeled, cut into 2cm/1in cubes
2 tbsp olive oil
salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 onion, peeled, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, peeled, crushed
100g/3½oz bulgur wheat, cooked according to packet instructions
100g/3½oz cooked short-grain (or paella) rice, cooked according to packet instructions
100g/3½oz edamame beans, podded
30g/1oz chopped fresh mint
150g/5½oz Greek-style yoghurt
50g/1¾oz cucumber, grated
½ lemon, juice only
1 clove garlic, peeled, crushed
salt and freshly ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/gas 6.
Place the butternut squash cubes into a baking tray, drizzle over one tablespoon of the oil and season, to taste, with salt and freshly ground black pepper.
Roast in the oven for 25-30 minutes, or until tender.
Meanwhile, heat the remaining oil in a frying pan and fry the onions for 8-10 minutes, or until soft.
Mix the roasted butternut squash, fried onion, garlic, bulgur wheat, rice, edamame beans and mint together in a bowl until well combined.
Spoon some of the rice mixture in a line at one end of each of the cabbage leaves, roll each cabbage leaf up into a cylinder and place one onto each of 6 serving plates.
For the dip, mix all of the dip ingredients together in a bowl until well combined.
Serve the cabbage rolls with the dip.
Type the ingredients you want to use, then click Go. For better results you can use quotation marks around phrases (e.g. "chicken breast"). Alternatively you can search by chef, programme, cuisine, diet, or dish (e.g. Lasagne).


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PLYMOUTH — Propane shortages and rising costs have prompted a local supplier to take measures to make sure their customers have fuel to heat their homes.
See today's Pilot News for more on this story.
An e-edition is available. Subscribe online or call 574-936=3101.


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One person was killed Wednesday afternoon in a head-on collision on a Parker County road near Weatherford, a Texas Department of Public Safety trooper said.The crash was reported shortly before 2 p.m. A pickup was southbound on Farm Road 51 just south of Texas 171 when it crossed into northbound lanes, colliding with an oncoming car. One person in the car was pronounced dead at the scene, DPS Sgt. Lonny Haschel said in an email.The dead person was not identified, and information on other injuries was not released.
Domingo Ramirez Jr., 817-390-7763 Twitter: @mingoramirezjr