text:
This is long but I hope I can get some advice on whether some of what he said is normal or not. I have not yet made a decision to file for D or not but am no way ready to start being together with him again until I analyze this. Thank you in advance.
Me leaving hit him pretty hard, he got sent home from work on Friday for breaking down and crying in the middle of his office hallway. He spewed a lot of negative things my way this weekend which I am shamed to admit I didn't react too maturely to. For a bit I thought he really didn't care and was not nice to him about that.
When we met up yesterday to have a discussion about whether I was filing for D today or not he was clearly not the strong man who didn't care and didn't want me to come back like he portrayed, he was an absolute wreck. Nothing at all got even a tiny bit violent thankfully but I did have several people on standby for if they didn't hear from me by certain times and we came up with some safe words. He just sat there calmly letting me read and ask questions and didn't say anything negative to me really during this time.
He spent all weekend reading through the forums I had sent him to, bought both "Just Friends" and "How to Heal your Spouse after an Affair" and is halfway through Just Friends. He also took the paper I wrote him up about what I need from him to heal and responded with this own things in writing. He admitted to several other secret accounts he has online which are for porn and gave me access even to his private journal but asked me to not read it as he has written letters to me in there when hes been very angry just to get it out and has put down dreams that involve other women I probably dont want to read about.
He also detailed his female relationships for me on paper. Yes he still has deep feelings for my "friend" the OW in his EA/attempted PA, it is what his IC appointments are about and why he doesn't share more of those appointments with me because he can't get over her. Claims he has created this fake person who looks like her in his head to escape hard realities and they are trying to dig away at why he has done this to help him dissolve it but even after 3 months he is yet able to do so, still has a deep infatuation with her and thinks about her all the time.He also has been somewhat leading on (by going to her with our problems when he is upset), he claims without realizing, a 19 year old coworker with a child who is very interested in him. He swears up and down he has no feelings for her and has backed away from it when she has tried to get more intimate with him but that she is a friend who he vents to about our relationship. I have to wonder if this isn't why hes come home from work angry at me, because he vents to this 19 year old who wants him and then she tells him how ridiculous I am or something. But I appreciated the honesty as I had no idea about her and would never have known.
He explained what he means by having "crushes" on a regular basis. Not crushes like with the OW where feelings get developed. But crushes like when he goes to a restaurant and there is a hot waitress he finds himself infatuated with her and will think about her for weeks sometimes and dream about her and develop a strong attraction to her. He said he never goes out of his way to talk to these people or see them and doesnt initiate anything online but he cant control his thoughts and it happens very regularly when he sees attractive women. I have no idea if this is normal or not.
I did get an apology letter that was very nice and honest. He apologized for a lot of things as well as explained he is trying to get to the bottom of why he has gotten himself to this place to prevent it from ever happening and trying to shift his guilt to remorse but is having a hard time doing it quickly. He agreed to be open and honest about any and everything I want, including everytime he has a "crush". Gave me access to his phone, removed passcode, will open any hidden programs, and gave me access to go through his entire pron collection if I wanted.
His main concern for me was that I can't tell him how to feel or what to think (obviously) and if I want him to be open I have to try and not get upset when he exposes something I might not want to hear as it will make it hard for him to learn how to be open.
We started discussing respect and boundaries, didn't get all the way through as I had to leave to go back to my friends, but I ended up being very concerned by where it ended. He contacted this girl who used to be his go to friend when him and his ex would fight. She worked at a strip club and he would go watch her dance and buy dances from her just to talk, said she never actually danced on him. Well he decided to seek her out on fb after a fight we had last year. He admitted this to me as the message was deleted. I told him to me that was completely inappropriate for a married man to do. He got defensive and argues with me for about 2 minutes before realizing what he was doing and stopping himself. To him it was a girl of his past he was friends with and I shouldn't have control over if he wants to talk to someone like that, that her profession has nothing to do with it an its very immature for me to get upset over. I told him he didnt have to agree with my view point but respect that as a boundary and agree not to do it out of respect for me. That if something is extremely important to him yet would cross a boundary for me, to come to me first and explain why its so important, worth crossing a boundary for me and causing pain and anxiety.
Oh we also agreed to get a new MC as the one we have isnt too helpful.
That was all we had time for yesterday.
This morning after sleeping on what he wrote me I don't know what to think. To me it feels like he is finally starting to do the work and his attitude is shifting but like its been said here, they could be crocodile tears and I am VERY weary.
Also hes been in therapy for 3 months and still can't get over the OW who he never really knew very well? That doesnt seem normal at all to me and if hes been trying for 3 months every single week, will he ever get over her? This gives me little hope and hurts like hell. I don't want him to even touch me thinking about this. Does it take other WSs significant time to get over their AP?
I agreed to respect his journal and not read it. I think its healthy for him to have some kind of outlet and don't feel the need to see any of that. I don't care about the porn accounts as pron has never been an issue for me, I enjoy it myself and we watch it together so yeah no issues there.
Is it normal for a guy to see a hot girl and think about her for weeks and have dreams about her on a regular basis and then write them down? I mean I do have thoughts/dreams about hot guys on occasion but not obsessively and it never impacts the way I view my relationship and I dont write it down. But I don't know, maybe that is normal behavior for a guy.
He honestly thought I want to be told every single time he develops a crush on some hot girl somewhere. I definitely do NOT want to know about those male thoughts unless it starts to impct our relationship in any way. Maybe because he thought he had to share every single thought about another woman is why hes been so angry and saying he cant do what Im asking?
What about the 19 year old? I don't want him around her anymore but she is a coworker and is being pushy with him and he doesnt have many other people to talk to about this all. I don't feel I have any say in that really though he did say he is distancing himself from her slowly and has told her he is not interested.
If he is going to get defensive about contacting old female friends who he had inappropriate relationships with and we just agree to disagree on our view points, is there a chance he will ever respect my boundaries?
Maybe his perspective is changing and maybe he really is trying in IC and I know people dont just change in just 3 months.
[This message edited by gottabeabiggirl at 12:42 PM, July 28th (Monday)]
Met - early 2006
Started dating - 12/06/06
Moved in together - 02/2007
Engaged - 2/14/13
Married - 10/26/13
DDay - 4/24/14
(EA with, IMHO, an attempt to turn it into a PA. OW wasn't interested and told me)
If I were in your shoes, I'd file. I'd let him know that you don't want a man that creates fantasies about every woman he sees. I have enough male friends to know that having a sexual thought about an attractive female is normal. To think about them for weeks is definitely not. Creating a fantasy woman that looks like OW is NOT normal, and it won't help him get over her. He needs to wake up, grow up, and accept that he is just trying to escape. He hasn't done that. Confessing all of this is a good thing, but that doesn't change the fact that these things exist, and as long as they do, he isn't a safe partner.
So I say file. Push him harder. If he does wake up, ok. If he doesn't, you'll end up there anyway. Filing doesn't mean you actually divorce, and even if you do divorce you can still reconcile.
One of my needs was transparency so I could build my trust back with him, hence him spilling about the 19 year old and the way he gets these crushes.
I really think he has some deep seeded issues he has to work out and a lot of selfishness. I don't yet know if D is going to happen soon but every day it feels more like it to me.
He seems to messed up in the head and I am slowly starting to see that but still love him so dearly and its hard to separate the love from what is logically the best idea for me and my future.
I honestly am so disgusted with him and what he thinks is appropriate. He still doesn't see any of this as cheating but recognizes it was for me. I don't know what to think about that.
And how do you file for D then stop it from happening? I don't need a lawyer to file the D as we have nothing shared and have only been married a short time but maybe I need to talk to someone to figure out how I could stop it if he comes around.
I know we all have to work at our own pace and make our own decisions, but is this what you really want?
When we met up yesterday to have a discussion about whether I was filing for D today or not he was clearly not the strong man who didn't care and didn't want me to come back like he portrayed, he was an absolute wreck. Nothing at all got even a tiny bit violent thankfully but I did have several people on standby for if they didn't hear from me by certain times and we came up with some safe words. He just sat there calmly letting me read and ask questions and didn't say anything negative to me really during this time.
Sounds like the arrogant "F...kers fog" is lifting. Now you see the real person you married, low self-esteem looking for validation, now sucking his thumb, because mom caught him with his hand in the cookie jar.
If I could go back into time and re-live my WWs #1 affair pre-kids things would be so much different today. You dont have kids yet, this moment will define the rest of your life.
God bless your navigation.
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:29
I'm NOT saying that your WH has it, but it's the very first thing that came to my mind because this:
Is it normal for a guy to see a hot girl and think about her for weeks and have dreams about her on a regular basis and then write them down?
is a no. That is not normal. This is obsessing to an extreme. Sure a hot girl can be on your mind for a little while, but not like this.
What about the 19 year old?
Even if he doesn't see it, it's an EA to say the least. He's confiding in her emotionally by talking to her about M issues whether they are real or contrived. Very BAD boundaries.
I do think the fantasy thing is really weird and not normal. How can he get over her if he keeps revisiting that in uncomfortable times? I mean dealing with this has made everything uncomfortable so I guess it makes sense he has been thinking about her all the time if thats how he deals with it.
It's totally weird and not normal. Your WH is obsessing even way past what a petulant teenager would do about a girl he couldn't get in high school. He has very poor emotional coping skills and he is going to continue to act out with these level of obsessions. At the very least, you are in for a lifetime of him having to deal with these issues and you always looking over your shoulder worrying about his baggage.
I'm not telling you to stay or go gottabeabiggirl. I think D is something that only you can decide. If you stay with WH you are going to have a lifetime of issues on your hands. Which is completely fine if you re willing to work with him on these issues. I don't know if you are planning on having any children or not, but these types of problems only become more difficult to deal with and are exacerbated when children come into the picture. The minute that you have your hands full with any type of major life event on your hands, are you going to be worrying about his coping mechanisms for his sexual obsessions the entire time you are going through big life events?
You are still very young and have a lifetime ahead of you. If you stay, I'm worried that you will regret it down the road. I have two daughters and if you were one of them I would seriously try and talk you out of staying with this guy. He needs to get well and you cannot do that for him. Maybe down the road if he gets well and proves himself. But with this type of character that he displays I'm afraid you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of heartbreak.
Look my WH objectified women, it came out after the affair that he visualised most women naked when he saw them. He thought this was reasonably normal, when I questioned it and did not agree, he brought the question here for feed back, got the idea it wasn't and has since worked on redirecting his thoughts if that happens to something like, I wonder what she does for a living or something. But the fantasising and dreaming and holding onto these women is extremely unusual in my opinion. It's not healthy to be with your wife and be doing this. And as for your friend, he is obsessed with a girl he barely knows... Do you really want to wait for him to get over her? At 25, is that how you want to be spending your time. This guy, even if he is capable, and to be honest, nothing in your post shows that to be particularly likely, is going to take a long time to get his shit together. That's a big investment on someone who was unfaithful to you before, during and after your vows. Who has never been particularly supportive of your physical issues and taking care of you, who turns this all on you to avoid feeling responsible and isn't proactive in giving up anything to make you feel safe. He doesn't have a right to friendships with old friends who are girls, especially those he has seen naked and only has to go visit her work to see her naked again.
Please think hard about if your love is really strong enough to withstand a man who does not feel the same for you and atm does not seem willing to try and see you for the amazing and beautiful gift that you are!
I have to ask - at this point, knowing what you know - why are you even considering this man as a real option? He's a child in his head. He is still choosing children (19 years old) as his confidants, he is still dreaming of your bridesmaid, he is still claiming he didn't cheat.
BTW - him telling another woman he is in love with her, and mocking you for your injuries to her - IS CHEATING!!!
You are with a man that will never, ever grow up. At 28, you should have been off limits to him. As I said in a different post, a 17 year old girl should be of no interest to a 28 year old man. He is now 35, and he's picked a 19 year old girl to trust and use as a sounding board for relationship advice????
I'd bet anything that he hasn't backed off at all. I'd bet he told you to make you jealous and worry, and hope you come back because you don't want her to have him.
You know his behaviors are not normal. You know he has some serious issues and is mentally a teenager. What exactly do you expect from this teenager in a man's body? Do you expect him to suddenly grow up?
Give this some thought: You take him back. You and he go out to eat. The waitress is pretty. You wonder if he's suddenly pretending in his head that he and she are a couple, and you wonder how long she's going to get his head space. Sure, right now it seems reasonable to not need to know his crushes. How reasonable is it going to be when you're really living with this headcase, and you're wondering who he's pretending is his girlfriend this week. Mentally, he forms relationships with every pretty girl he sees. Do you know who else does this sort of things? 13 year old boys, that's who!!
You've moved out. Keep going. File for divorce. The clerk can tell you how to back out of it - but usually it's a simple as not going to the court date, or simply withdrawing the petition to divorce. But why would you?
You're contemplating having children one day. Do you want the father of your children to also be a child? One that refuses to grow up?
The bottom line is this: He is not capable of being faithful mentally. He thinks creating fake women in his head is the way to 'get over' another woman. How about this? HE IS MARRIED!!! The fact that any OW are taking his mental time is wrong. As long as he's hung up on her, he can't be the husband you need.
If you want your answer on how faithful he really is, have your friend text him. Have her say she's been talking to you, and she knows that you've moved out. Ask her to say that she didn't want to break up your relationship, but now that it's over, she wanted to let him know that the feelings were mutual, and that although she's sorry the marriage seems to be ending, she's wondering if he has any interest in getting together. You'll get your answer regarding your 'changed' husband fast enough.
Right now, your friend isn't interested. What are you going to do if the next one is? He's flat out telling you he's mentally with every woman he sees that is attractive. Are you seriously wondering if THAT is ok???
I'd go NC with him. Tell him as long as he's mentally single, you're not wasting your time, and go NC. You deserve better. You're 25. When you're 75, do you want your life to have been fun and full of love, or do you want it to have been a constant battle with a man-child?
[This message edited by painfulpast at 8:42 AM, July 29th (Tuesday)]
He just sat there crying and shaking as I told him I'm pretty sure we have to divorce he has too many issues and there is no excuse for why he is still infatuated with this fantasy person and obsesses over women everywhere. He just kept asking me for more time, to be patient while he fixes himself, that he is trying but it takes time. But that he understands that I deserve better and would sign the papers if thats what I really want to do.
I broke, cried, hugged him, slept with him, hated myself. Know if its possible to fix his issues it will take forever. I don't know if a 35 year old man can truly change, I don't. But I do know its ridiculous for me to stay and put up with his childish behavior.
I just dont know how to find the strength to walk away. I am such a weak, weak person when it comes to this man and my heart.
You are soooo young. You are well spoken and seem to have a lot going for you personally. Please consider very carefully if you want to spend your precious years riding a dangerous, unhealthy, draining, emotional roller coaster with this man. Love does not have to be this hard or hurt this much.
[This message edited by TimeToGo2014 at 12:23 PM, July 29th (Tuesday)]
You are this way because he groomed you to be this way.
I'm with the others who have posted, you need to continue with filing for divorce. That doesn't mean The End of your relationship. He can still fix his broken self and come back to you. If he isn't willing to do that, then he wasn't worthy of being married to anyway.
He manipulates you with his words and does a lot of TALKING. What ACTIONS has he taken? He told you he broke down at work and was sent home. But he is a liar who says things to manipulate you. Don't believe it unless you personally see it with your own eyes.
Oh we also agreed to get a new MC as the one we have isnt too helpful.
I'd stop marriage counseling altogether. Your husband has too many issues he needs to work on in IC before marriage counseling will do any good.
Are you in IC?
You have a chance right now that many, many of us who bought a home and/or had children with the person who betrayed us would have killed for - you got a chance to see who this person really is. Many of us didn't get to see that until much, much later when things were far more complicated and extricating ourselves from the situation was far more difficult.
Just like the first time you go to the gym or try a new activity, it's going to suck, and you're going to suck at doing it. But if you push through, it'll get easier.
If you do not walk away from this person right now, you will spend the rest of your life with him (however long that may be) in a constant state of anxiety, fear, doubt and self-loathing until he cheats on you again. You will never again have a moment's peace. If you walk away, you will get the chance to be happy again. If you stay with him, you may also get the chance to be happy but (1) it won't be with him and (2) it may be a hell of a long time down the road and the situation may be far more complicated.
Choose happiness and choose yourself. Walk away.
Married - 2008
PA with boss for at least 5 months in 2013, possibly longer.
DDay - Feb 2014
Separated, heading to D
At this stage, I'm pretty much bulletproof.
There's a great website created by the leading researcher on sex addiction, Patrick Carnes, called sexhelp.com. It has a test he can take (or that you can read and see if he fits the profile enough to research more about it). Porn use, obsessive thoughts about sex and women, poor boundaries, objectification of women, low self-esteem and behavior he doesn't seem to WANT to engage in but is almost irresistibly drawn to.
If the SA label fits him, it'll be a starting point for any true recovery to be possible. An SA doesn't find sexual release (so much) in sex, he finds a release from the pain or anger or boredom or anxiety or whatever that is pummeling him at the moment.
There's also a thread here at SI for the spouses of sex addicts. The first pages have lots of resources to read; the other pages have lots of advice and support.
[This message edited by RippedSoul at 12:31 PM, July 29th (Tuesday)]
I am in IC, every Thursday. He is in IC as well every Thursday. We have our last MC today and I don't plan on having anymore sessions with her, possibly not with anyone at this point.
Reading his journal is an interesting idea but I don't think I could do it. I'm not sure he would truly give me access to it even if I did want to. But I am afraid I will never be able to get those things out of my head if I read them and don't think I can handle the hurt. Maybe it is what I need to push me to really get away but I really, really don't want to.
I am going to look in to the sex addict resources, thanks for those. He is an avid porn user, as far as I know once a day if not several times a day I just never had an issue with it since we still were active and it didn't seem to impact our sex life. But yeah I do think he has some kind of addiction problem and not being able to say no to things. He is an alcoholic and can't go more than a day or two without drinking or he gets very unpleasant. I can at least direct him to that info so he can fix himself.
What a horrible, horrible mess. I am grateful though I found this out now instead of later becase you are all right, I do have a chance to come out of this with a lot of potential to be happy and free of him with nothing tying us together aside from marriage.
He is an alcoholic and can't go more than a day or two without drinking or he gets very unpleasant.
This, on top of everything else? Oh Gottabeabiggirl.
Please, please, take the advice of everyone here and leave him.
You feel weak and incapable of leaving. So I think it would help you to read the "How to get out" advice on sites for those who are in abusive marriages, because whether you believe yourself to be in such a marriage or not, these are precisely the feelings experienced by those who are. So the advice will help you. (Look again at the list that I believe Nature_Girl posted for you in an earlier thread and continue to work on that.)
Do not listen to your husband's promises to change and appeals to your love and good-heartedness. Those who subject their wives to domestic violence usually promise to change as well. But they don't. If your husband chooses to write a journal, he is probably very good with words, so he may be exceptionally persuasive. I beg you not to be persuaded by him. In my opinion, his problems require professional help: they are too complex and severe for you to solve, however great your love. And if you stay with him, you have fifty or so years of a very bleak future ahead of you.
Listen, please, to Forged1:
If you do not walk away from this person right now, you will spend the rest of your life with him (however long that may be) in a constant state of anxiety, fear, doubt and self-loathing until he cheats on you again. You will never again have a moment's peace. If you walk away, you will get the chance to be happy again.
[This message edited by Cally60 at 1:44 PM, July 29th (Tuesday)]
I might differ a little on the age gap thing, because I was married at 18 and I have no problems with an 18 yr old marrying a 28 yr old (these types of age differences have happened in our family and been successful marriages). BUT, that's if it is true love not just an age fetish thing, and both are mature and loyal people. However, I think your husband may have an age fetish thing,when he's 50+ still "friends" with 18/19 yr olds it's gonna be a mess.
This relationship sounds exhausting. That's what I picture your future like with this man: exhausting. You will always have to be the rock & the stability while you are constantly watching out for some new shiny object to catch his eye, while he panders around being a big man-baby doing, acting, and thinking however he wants.
He's breaking so many loyalty rules it's not even funny. And on top of it, I get the feeling he wants accolades and blue ribbons for his "honesty" and the fact that he doesn't actually whip his d!ck out and f##k every one of these crushes and fantasies. Am I right?
unfortunately , I think you will have to leave him to save yourself from a lifetime of changing his emotional Pampers. Sorry, to put it that way but this is not fair to you what he is doing. You can always call off a divorce at last minute, you can always remarry him if a D even does go through! Don't worry about those things, worry about your own future and your own self because he's not.
[This message edited by OutoftheDeep at 5:08 PM, July 29th (Tuesday)]
But yeah we had the same spiritual beliefs, music tastes, hobbies, life goals, passions, etc... I never knew he had these issues, I just looked up to him so much and he was the perfect man for me even with his past shitty behavior. Naive.
My aprents were 13 years apart and his parents are 10... his parents just hit 43 years. I really thought we had a chance as both sets of our parents met each other when the women were very young and aside from my mom dying, have been successful relationships.
He does think honesty should get him some passes. Today I had to blow up for him adding his 19 (he now suddenly claims she is 23 like that matters) coworker on fb and then ANOTHER 20 year old coworker last week (she added him and he knows her dad but still...) and he just didn't get it. He told me, well I told you about her and how I talked to her so you should understand its not a threat... NO DONT DO STUFF LIKE THAT DANG IT!
Our MC finally laid it out for him that if he wants to continue our relationship he has to give up pursuing any kind of relationships with these other girls. Period. And what he did WAS cheating. He didnt argue for the first time ever when hearing that stuff.
I know its hopeless, I am a fool. My date I set is August 2nd. I have decided to just stick to that as I have planned all along, give myself some time to get my stuff together, figure out things, feel confident in my decision. Enjoy the last few nights I have to pretend to be happy.
[This message edited by gottabeabiggirl at 7:44 PM, July 29th (Tuesday)]
Yes, it's a terribly hard future to face, no matter which way you turn, but you will do what you need to do.
IMHO, you need to go ahead and file. It won't be hard to do that yourself, it will show him you aren't a child anymore and you aren't playing, and if he isn't able to rise to the occasion, well, you're that much further down the road.
IF he does make a miraculous recovery, you can put it on hold or stop it. If he can't do it in time, you can still consider something later - with you in a stronger place since you know you can make it on your own.
Take your time to do whatever you need. You have a home here when you need support.
P.S. That alcoholism thing? That's a big deal, too. Interesting that you only mention it late in the game, sort of as an afterthought. It's not. Marriages have broken up over just that is. It may have been subconscious, but I bet you two were a strangely good fit because you were already bent being raised by your substance abusing mom.
The thing about the large age difference when we are that young, is that usually one of the major attractions to someone that much older is the idea of their maturity, stability and the illusion that they know and understand love. The reality, often times is not the case. Obviously in your family it has worked, but it is often a generational thing and they often end in separation within our generation. That is my experience anyway.
The biggest thing here... Even after your huge talk, his breaking down and sharing of intimacy, he then went and added the chick he is sharing the intimate secrets of your marriage with on fb. Talk about NOT GETTING IT! This man is highly entitled, selfish and unaware of your feelings at the very least. He thinks because he is honest he can continue to behave however he likes. This is not healthy and it is not safe. I think too, if you are honest with yourself your WH hasn't just developed this type of thinking and behaviour for however long his ea has been with your friend. There are most likely signs of it since the beginning that you either didn't pick up on or didn't see through the proverbial rose coloured glasses.
Don't let this man take your life. This isn't what love is supposed to be like. If he isn't kissing the ground you walk on and throwing himself into fixing himself then you could waste a couple of years "just seeing".
I just want to comment I don't think you are a fool.
I think you made the most educated and thoughtful decisions you were capable of at each stage in your life. When you met this man, I have no doubt that the 18 year old version of yourself was sure this guy was the one.
Even if you were a mature 18 year old, you didn't have the decision power and wisdom you have now. Do not blame your younger self for decisions an older, wiser, smarter version of yourself would have made differently.
But also recognize when a younger, less experienced version of yourself may have made a mistake. And recognize that the current, wiser version of yourself does not need to be loyal to poor decisions a younger version of yourself made.
When we are around something/someone long enough, and sheltered by it, it becomes "normal" and we rationalize/normalize it. Because you were young and in a less stable life, the added perceived "security" of your marriage further created an attachment.
Making these changes now, for yourself, is really hard. That you are willing to see differently and question your circumstances is a testament to your strength and will, gottabe.
Keep writing here--you are among supporters and friemds.
They are liars, by definition a Wayward spouse = a lying spouse.
I hope I didn't offend you about the age fetish thing. As I said, I'm not of the opinion that an 18 yr old and a 28 yr old can't have a successful, healthy marriage. But, I think there is pattern with your WH, he's pushing 40 and wants "friends" young enough to be his daughter.
You may not see yourself this way, but you ARE strong. You've filed for D, you are a little confused and still wish all of this wasn't true or there was some explanation, but actually you've shown guts. Stay on your path, at times you start to doubt what is going on just remember "This IS NOT what a loyal man does and I don't deserve to be treated this way".
6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay


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Drug Crime Lawyers in the USA
Drug Crime Lawyers in the USA ► Other Countries
Drug Crime Lawyers USA - Recent Legal Articles
- Can a Cop Use a Drug Sniff Dog at My Traffic Stop?
by HG.org
The Fourth Amendment protects individuals from unreasonable searches and seizures. However, the United States Supreme Court has held that a drug dog sniff that is conducted during a lawful traffic stop does not constitute a search as an individual does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in illegal contraband within a vehicle. However, there are specific rules that police officers must follow when bringing a dog sniff dog to the scene.
- Possession of Drug Paraphernalia in New Jersey
A discussion about what constitutes drug paraphernalia in New Jersey, as well as the penalties and consequences.
- Possession of Marijuana and the Law in Texas
Many states are legalizing marijuana, but in Texas the possession of marijuana is still a crime. Still farmers continue to grow the valuable cash crop along Texas' fertile farmlands. Learn what the penalties and fines are for possessing marijuana in Texas, and what the future may hold for the legalization of marijuana in Texas.
- Life in Prison for a Batch of Pot Brownies
Recently we posted a story about how Colorado has chosen to regulate its now legal edible marijuana industry. Alongside gourmet goodies are the issues of safety and protection of consumers. Starting in June all edible marijuana goods must contain less than 100mg of THC. Meanwhile, just a few states away in Texas, a 19 year old caught with hash brownies faces a potential life sentence. What a difference a few hundred miles can make.
- TX Proposed Bill Offers Defense to Marijuana Charges
Currently serving as the state Representative for the 49th District in the Texas House, Elliot Naishtat made his seventh attempt at bringing medical marijuana to the lone star state earlier this week. While the proposed bill does not suggest legalization of medicinal or recreational marijuana, it could offer an alternative to criminal charges for certain users.
- Colorado's Regulations for Munching on Marijuana Edibles
Since legalizing, Colorado's marijuana industry has grown up over night with plenty of potential for growers and sellers. Everyone is looking for a piece of the proverbial pot pie, even the bakers and chefs.
- Supreme Court Retiree in Favor of Legalization
Nominated for the Supreme Court in 1975 by President Gerald Ford, when Justice Stevens retired in June 2010 he was the third longest-serving judge in United States history. Justice Stevens was born on April 20, 1920 and to call him an old-timer would not be an understatement.
- What Happens if I get arrested for DUI While Vacationing in Florida?
Nothing can ruin a great vacation in sunny Florida like getting arrested for a DUI offense. What happens when you are arrested out of your home state for a DUI and what can you do about it? Here's how you can do everything you can to make sure what happens in Florida doesn't come back to haunt you in the future.
- What Are the Differences Between Domestic Battery and Aggravated Battery?
When discussing domestic and aggravated battery, there are a few things to consider. First, what is considered battery?
- Stand Your Ground: What does it Mean For You and Your Family?
Wherever you have been for the past year, the issue of Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law has been a hot topic all around the country.


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The updated Ohio law increases the size of the farmer-funded grain indemnity fund, which pays producers for losses in the event of a grain elevator failure.
SALEM, Ohio — The first Ashtabula County permit for a Utica shale well was issued in June. The Ohio Department of Natural Resources issued a permit to BeUSA Energy LLC for a well site in Wayne Township. Trumbull County Drilling also appears to be moving ahead in Trumbull County. The ODNR issued three horizontal drilling […]
SALEM, Ohio — The quality and test weight of the wheat in the region's soggy fields will depend on how soon farmers can get in there with the combines.
Changes in the rules for livestock exhibitors mean less paperwork.
STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — Landowners leased with The Oxford Oil Company: Listen up. Eclipse Resources has acquired The Oxford Oil Company, LLC, a company that has a large number of acres under lease in Belmont County and has been named a defendant in many lawsuits. The Oxford Oil Company has approximately 184,000 acres under lease […]
Monsanto is describing the discovery of Roundup Ready wheat in Oregon as "suspicious" in its latest update.
NEW WILMINGTON, Pa. — Farmers in northwest Pennsylvania have a new choice for their agronomy needs. Western Reserve Cooperative established a new location in New Wilmington, Pa., in February, at the former Ag-Way and Deerfield Farms Service site. The company has installed a new mixer and upgraded the buildings, which are currently being leased. "We […]
Guts, glory and determination. Three words to describe a farming family in Belmont County, Ohio.
Meet Abbe Turner. A mother, wife, founder of the Ohio Sheep, Goat and Milk Initiative and last but not least: local food advocate.
Ohio's Utica shale buzz has gone from drilling to pipelines.
The USDA announced June 14 that so far an investigation has found no other volunteer glyphosate-resistant wheat plants have been found so far.
The former owner and former chief operating officer of the now-bankrupt Eastern Livestock Company will spend the next several years in federal prison after a check-kiting scheme left many cattle producers with fraudulent checks.
Consol Energy has its roots in coal mining, but definitely sees a future in natural gas production.
Editor: At a recent dedication of our mammogram room (now the Suzy Room ), I met with Executive Director Sean Shacklett, of Susan G. Komen (foundation) Northeast Ohio Affiliate, where he also awarded our Cancer Detection Clinic $33,800 to complement the levy-funded cancer clinic services. During this meeting, Shacklett and his staff really opened our […]
Attend an auction or check out one of the few farms for sale, and it won't take long for you to figure out that farmland values have increased over the past few years.
A Salem family lost three beef cows June 5, two of which were 4-H cows, due to accidental yew poisoning.
The Utica and Marcellus shales are producing more than just natural gas. Some are suggesting the byproducts be exported.
A Kansas wheat farmer filed a federal lawsuit against Monsanto June 3, and more cases are expected, after a field of genetically modified wheat was found in Oregon, causing wheat prices to fall.
Harrison County led with the number of permits issued. A total of 16 permits were issued during May.
Landowners in 11 Ohio counties may be part of a counter lawsuit filed by Columbia Gas Transmission.


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Omega Moving & Storage's truck and transport tradesmen escort armloads of prized possessions from point A to point B. Ask for an online or on-site estimate, and Omega's moving maestros will customize packing plans, dispatching a two-man team for three hours of moving (a $110/hour value plus fuel tax). Billing begins once moving crews arrive at the pick-up location, and Omega's standard rate applies for extra time. Omega also offers free boxes with purchases of $50 in packing supplies and complimentary online packing advice, as well as instructions on how to make space suits entirely out of packing tape and bubble wrap.
Skyler McCurine's winning Stratejoy essay describes her long-time fascination with red balloons and how she serendipidously saw them at key points in her life. One day, while sitting in her car and crying because of her lack of life direction, a little girl in the car in ahead of her released a single red balloon. This was the beginning of an important realization: that she had to let go of comparing herself to others and embrace her own weaknesses. She went on to found Le Red Balloon, and today she pours this personal revelation––along with her experience in retail––into her work as a stylist.
Skyler's raison d'être is to help her clients remember that they are beautiful no matter their size, shape, or idiosyncrasies. To aid their transformation, she takes the hassle out of shopping by going with her clients and even looking after their kids while they try on clothes. When the new garments come home, she purges messy closets and organizes new pieces by color, style, and house sigil. When she isn't gussying up her own clientele, she teaches workshops that strive to reverse the media's negative influence and help women treat themselves and others with true kindness.
The Arc of San Diego empowers individuals with disabilities through supportive services that range from residential-living programs to summer camps and day trips for consumers of all ages. Highly trained staff and volunteers work together to honor the dignity of the individuals they serve by demonstrating compassion and celebrating diverse backgrounds.
With 58 schools in 23 states, the inspiring and performance-driven School of Rock enthusiastically infuses fledgling tunesmiths across the nation with the rhythm, skill, and confidence required to rock 'n' roll. Each instructor at the school is a professional musician, and fully equipped with the know-how to catapult instrumentalists to the crest of Mount Rockmore.
With hands gripped to the wheels of karts capable of cresting 45 miles per hour, up to 12 racers hum around the hairpin turns and straightaways of K1 Speed's indoor track during adrenaline-spiking sprints toward the podium. This brand of excitement can be found at all 20+ locations, where racers eschew the fumes and inflammatory skywriting of gas kart exhaust for European, eco-friendly electric karts designed to instantly accelerate out of curves, which are bordered by safety barriers that absorb impacts.
Jeff Roberto, a sushi expert, brings a plethora of experience to his San Diego sushi oasis. He has catered large events of up to 16,000 guests as well as the sets of such Hollywood films as Titanic, Pearl Harbor, and Elizabethtown. Inside SOAR (Sushi On A Roll) he constructs specialty rolls filled with shrimp tempura, seared tuna, spicy scallops, and sashimi and nigiri rolls featuring fresh water eel and squid.
Roberto also leads group explorations in the art of sushi preparation during interactive sushi-making classes held inside a private sushi bar. Two-hour classes commence with an assessment of how many edamame you can stuff in your cheeks before you begin tucking vegetable fillings in sheets of seaweed with the help of a bamboo mat. Students jot down notes on the proper consistency of sushi rice, when to sprinkle rolls with sesame seeds, and how to repurpose chopsticks as the mast of a ship-in-a-bottle.
A koi mural provides the backdrop for the expansive 30-seat sushi bar, which is outlined in neon to highlight the dramatic curve of the space. The expansive venue, which accommodates up to 100 people, is popular among large groups of friends looking for a fun outing and U.S. senators playing hooky. Free parking is also available.


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Service Archive/Podcast
Use the filters below to narrow down your search for the sermon you would like to find.
A Strong Warning (2 Peter 2:1-3)
Roland Hammett, December 4, 2013
Part of the A Study of II Peter series, preached at a Wednesday Evening service
2 Peter 2:1-3
1But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction. 2And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of. 3And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not. (KJV)


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Find records of Isaac Irey
Find birth, death, marriage, military, and other records of Isaac Irey at Ancestry.com.Search for records
Biography & Family History Add details
Isaac Irey (1932 - 1982) was born on December 5, 1932. He was born into the Irey family.
Isaac had no-known relationships. Isaac died in December 1982 at age 49.
We were able tolocate a death record for Isaac Irey in the United States Social Security Master Death Index (SSDI). What is the SSDI?
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Email List
IASB has two types of awards that may be used to acknowledge the outstanding service of school board members, superintendents, teachers and others to your school district. One is a card that provides the recipient with a lifetime pass to school events. The other is a wall plaque inscribed to honor the recipient.
The Award of Merit card is made of durable white plastic with black print and includes the name of the honoree and school district. It's sent to your district for signature and dating by the president of the board.
The card costs $8.50 and takes approximately three weeks for delivery. An invoice will be mailed to the school district.
To Order: Click here for the online order form
The Award of Merit wall plaque measures 7-1/2" by 5-3/4" and features a two-tone bronze plate mounted on a hand-polished walnut base. The award is available for both "community school districts" and other districts/agencies.
The plaque costs $30. Please make sure to double-check all spellings and figures. Delivery usually takes about two weeks. An invoice will be mailed to the school district.
To Order: Click here for the online order form
If you have questions about the awards, contact receptionist at IASB, 1-800-795-4272.
"I was really not prepared for the job when I was elected to the school board. I was very thankful for the IASB Web site and educational opportunities. I was very quickly able to become a productive and informed board member for my district."
-Katherine Schmidt, board president, Norwalk Community Schools


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Browsing articles tagged with " finish"
Hollis Crib: Holds Your Babies In A Sustainable Fashion
Our kids can already enjoy a clean lifestyle if let them be. Let us start with their crib. The Hollis Crib is a Charles Hollis Jones inspired mattress for your babies. It comes in clear acrylic finish, which added to the beauty and elegance of the product. The Crib has 3 level recyclable mattresses. What made this stylish crib a sustainable one is the use of non-toxic and recyclable Lucite. Parents must note that once the baby starts to climb, they must stop using the crib. The toddler bed on the other hand has the ability to carry up to 50lbs of weight.
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You Can Thank Susan Bennett For Siri's Uselessness
Susan Bennett, who first lent her voice to a First National Bank commercial, can also be heard directing passengers in Delta terminals (and telling passengers to turn off their iPhones).
"I began my career as a machine many years ago," Bennett told CNN. "I'm sure that you hear my voice at some point every day."
Back in 2005, a software company named Scansoft was looking for talent to record for a database to construct speech. Bennett was selected by a local Atlanta recording company, and began recording in her home studio for four hours a day, every day in July. She read off all sorts of nonsense that experts would then be able to craft into actual words, sentences and paragraphs.
Bennett, like everyone else who's used Siri, doesn't always give us what we want.
"But I never yell at her -- very bad karma," Bennett said. That said, she knows not everyone is as gracious: "Yes, I worry about how many times I get cursed every day."
A lot, Susan. A lot.


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Hide All allow you to minimize your application and not just minimize them but also hide them under there application icon .
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It's My Party Movie Review
Given just a few days to live (a rather contrived Dark Victory-style setup but one that is apparently based on a true story), Nick decides to commit suicide rather than suffer at the end the way so many of his AIDS-afflicted friends have. But before he goes, he decides to throw a two-day party to which he will invite all his friends, hand out parting gifts, and say goodbye with laughs and drinks rather than with tears and sadness.
And what a group. His best buddy Charlene (Margaret Cho), married pals Lina (Olivia Newton-John) and Rodney (Bruce Davison), and their gay son Andrew (Devon Gummersall) all arrive. Even his mother (an excellent Lee Grant) and his deaf sister Daphne (Marlee Matlin) are there, and later on his estranged father (George Segal) arrives as well. Keeping the mood light is Monty (Bronson Pinchot), an ultrabitchy manager prone to witticisms such as an offhand comment he makes to Nick: "I see you haven't lost your sense of tumor."
The big question: will Nick's ex-lover, movie director Brandon (Gregory Harrison), show up? Flashbacks show us their passionate relationship and its demise a year earlier, when the uptight and partially closeted Brandon could no longer tolerate Nick's wild ways and wilder friends. After their ugly breakup, the two haven't spoken, but in this moment of crisis, Brandon knows he must come, even if he's pretty much unwelcome.
The crowd gathers, drinks are served, and the mood fluctuates wildly but naturally from black humor to despair. Some can't believe this is actually happening. Mom is paralyzed with fear and tries cooking as a way of steadying her nerves. After the impromptu slumber party is over, Nick's final day arrives, the goodbyes pick up speed, and his suicide plan goes into effect. It's thrilling and chilling. In the final moments, Lee Grant's primal maternal scream will give you shivers.
It's My Party is an outstanding ensemble effort, with plenty of laughter, drama, and pathos to go around. Watch Kleiser's long tracking takes and he moves the camera indoors and out, through room after room, dropping in and out of conversations. The commentary reveals just how hard it was for him to pull this labor of love together, shooting around his large cast's schedules and trying to maintain continuity of everything from wardrobe to the length of burning candles over a period of more than a year. Roberts and Harrison really shine (this is one of Roberts' few really human performances), and the supporting cast gives effortless, almost improv-like performances, too. It's a powerful experience.
It's my party and I'll watch Three's Company if I want to.
Cast & Crew
Director : Randal Kleiser
Producer : Randal Kleiser, Joe Thurm
Screenwriter : Randal Kleiser
Starring : Eric Roberts, Gregory Harrison, Margaret Cho, Bronson Pinchot, Olivia-Newton John, Bruce Davison, Lee Grant, Devon Gummersall, George Segal


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Football, inside latest days enjoys acquired a huge of recognition. Before football was also considered absolutely the most most popular recreations simply by most. Nowadays, it's the extensively and also the most always played form of recreations. With that large recognition, soccer participants are idols for many soccer enthusiasts.
Lionel Messi is one of the the majority extremely followed football movie stars by the soccer enthusiasts. Messi football enthusiasts get visualized some of the most excellent targets regarding the track record with their favorite celebrity, Lionel Messi.Considering their fantastic soccer sport efficiency, Messi displays been able to grab some of the known footwear brands together with title.
Numerous greatest shoe companies obtained the name Messi baseball shoes or boots being enable his huge enthusiast next feel close for their favorite professional. Definitely, Messi are top baseball athlete worldwide. Will 2009 globe football professional prize given to him warrants their declaration.
During the chronilogical age of fourteen, Messi registered their agreement using the Nike shoe brand name releasing a like a types of Messi football cleats. At the beginning chronilogical chronilogical age of fourteen, this person presented each Nike Mercurial Vapor II. During the same duration, some sort of known Brazilian star, Ronaldo was showcasing modern mercurial vapor through Nike which kind of gone off picture whenever Messi soccer boots arrived in the market.
During year 2005, football shoes had been viewed in order to become isolated through the greatest brand Nike. The reason behind this particular ended up being some sort of appealing come with made by Adidas or Messi. They had been while Feb . 2006 in which Lionel Messi signed a five year contract with Adidas which kind of have already signed football stars love David Bechkam.
All Adidas f50 adizero Messi soccer shoes or even the Tunit soccer balls had been developed specifically for football games. On create of this football footwear is light however equally strong inside display the best overall performance regarding the gamers on sphere. These types of football cleats helped Messi which will make a Olympic Gold medal for his/her extraordinary performance throughout the course of the video game.
Messi soccer fans might observe Lionel Messi in several advertising to Adidas soccer cleats. Adidas lately came out to Lionel Messi F50 AdiZero World Cup Boots. Adidas advertised these soccer cleats completely changed the marketplace concerning soccer cleats.
Along with their exquisite build, the Messi soccer cleats are valued with so many. Messi footballboots come with Messi fans one unique way to reveal their particular love additionally gratitude to their favorite soccer star.


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A traceable transmission conduit assembly includes an optically transmissive jacket over a transmission conduit. The conduit, which may be an optical fiber, includes a light transmissive and translucent jacket thereover. Light is injected into the jacket at one location therealong. The light is emitted along the length of the jacket so that the jacket illuminates. One conduit bundled among a group of similar conduits may be traced by so illuminating the jacket of the one conduit.
1. A method of tracing a single transmission conduit among a bundle of similar transmission conduits, comprising the steps of:
providing an elongate transmission conduit having an elongate light transmissive jacket surrounding said conduit, said jacket including optical means for transmitting light along the length of said jacket and for emitting light exteriorly from the jacket along the length thereof;
bending said transmission conduit inclusive of said jacket at one portion thereof;
injecting light into said bent one portion of said jacket for transmission along the length of said jacket and for emission exteriorly from said jacket; and
observing said emitted light at a location along said jacket spaced from said bent one portion thereof.
2. A method in accordance with claim 1 wherein said providing step includes providing said elongate transmission conduit with a light transmissive optically translucent jacket therearound.
3. A method in accordance with claim 2 wherein said observing step includes observing said emitted light along the length of said jacket.
4. A method in accordance with claim 3 wherein said jacket includes an optical core surrounded by an optical cladding.
5. A method in accordance with claim 4 wherein said jacket is flexible.
6. A method in accordance with claim 1, wherein said jacket includes an optical core surrounded by an optical cladding, and wherein said injecting step further includes injecting said light into the core of said jacket at said bent one portion through said cladding of said jacket.
7. A method in accordance with claim 6 wherein said transmission conduit is an optical fiber.
The present invention relates generally to a traceable transmission conduit such as, for example, an optical fiber or an electrical conductor. More particularly, the present invention relates to a traceable transmission conduit where a particular conduit may be easily identified and traced from among a plurality of similar conduits bundled together.
In the transmission of communications signals two types of transmission devices are normally employed. One is an electrical conductor, typically copper and the other is an optical fiber, typically glass. Collectively these devices may be referred to as transmission conduits as they permit signals (either electrical or optical) to be transmitted along the length thereof. In either case, the fiber or conductor is encased in an outer insulative jacket thereby forming a cable. Each end of the cable may be terminated, preferably with an appropriate interconnection device (connector), to facilitate interconnection of cables. Optical and electrical interconnection of communication components (telephone, computers, etc.) using such cables is well known.
In transmitting communications signals such as voice and data, it is customary to use patch panels to effect multiple interconnections. Patch panels are devices having plural connection ports for accommodating the interconnection devices of cables. Connections between a patch panel and a communications component employ cables called line cords, while connections between patch panels employ cables called patch cords. Changes in the use of the system, such as changes in a telephone location or computer hardware, can be easily effected by changing the connections at the patch panel.
It can be readily appreciated that in certain densely populated situations, such as in a large office, there may be numerous cables attached to a single patch panel. Thus, it becomes important in making any change to a telephone or computer system that the proper cable be removed and reconnected. This process is usually referred to as cross-connections.
In order to provide fast and reliable cross-connections it becomes incumbent to properly identify each cable to reduce cross-connection time and installer error. Such error could result in significant down time to a computer or a telephone system. With densely populated patch panels, a simple cross-connection may become time consuming and subject to significant error. A technician must trace the cable through the system to the patch panel to assure proper cross-connection.
The prior art has seen attempts to provide proper cable identification to reduce the opportunity for installer error. These techniques include use of on-site record keeping to record the precise location of the equipment and the port on the patch panel to which it is connected. Also, conventional wire markers have been used at each end of the cable to identify remote locations thereof. Installers have even resorted to tugging on one end of the cable to locate the opposite end.
As may be appreciated, each of these techniques is either unreliable, time consuming or both. It is therefore desirable to provide a simpler, more reliable system to trace a given cable among a bundle of similarly disposed cables extending from a patch panel.
It is an object of the present invention to provide a readily identifiable transmission conduit which may be traced from among a bundle of similar transmission conduits.
It is a further object of the present invention to provide a transmission conduit having an optically transmissive jacket therearound which permits the easy identification of a single transmission conduit from among a bundle of similar conduits.
It is a still further object of the present invention to provide a method of more accurately and reliably identifying a single transmission conduit from among a bundle of similar conduits.
It is a yet further object of the present invention to provide a method of manufacturing a transmission conduit having a light transmissive jacket which permits the reliable identification of a single conduit from among a bundle of similar conduits.
In the efficient attainment of these and other objects, the present invention provides a conduit assembly including an elongate transmission conduit and an elongate light transmissive jacket therearound. The light transmissive jacket includes a first portion adapted to receive light injected through the jacket at a first portion and is further adapted to emit light at a second portion spaced from the first portion.
In a specific example shown by way of a preferred embodiment, the jacket is formed of optically translucent material which permits light to be injected into the jacket and wherein the jacket is illuminated by the injected light along the length thereof.
In a method aspect of the present invention a method of tracing a transmission conduit is provided. The method includes the steps of providing an elongate transmission conduit having a light transmissive jacket thereover. Light is then injected into one portion of the jacket. The injected light is then observed at a second portion of the jacket spaced from the one portion thereby providing traceable identification.
The method of manufacturing such a transmission conduit includes the steps of providing a transmission conduit and extruding light transmissive jacket over the conduit.
FIG. 1 is a perspective showing of a conventional patch panel having a plurality of terminated transmission conduits extending therefrom.
FIG. 2 shows a fiber optic cable construction of the present invention.
FIG. 3 is a transverse cross-section of the cable of FIG. 2.
FIG. 4 is a longitudinal cross-section of the cable of FIG. 2.
FIG. 5 shows schematically, the method of manufacturing the fiber optic cable of FIG. 2.
FIG. 6 shows the fiber optic cable of FIG. 2 with light being injected into the jacket thereof.
FIG. 7 is an enlarged schematic representation of a portion of the cable of FIG. 6, showing the transmission of light along the jacket thereof.
Referring to FIG. 1, a patch panel 10 is shown. Patch panel 10 is generally a flat, rectangular member having a plurality of connection ports 12 aligned in longitudinally extending horizontally spaced rows. Ports 12 permit the removable interconnection of terminated transmission conduits 14.
In the present illustrative embodiment, transmission conduit 14 is a fiber optic cable 16 terminated by a fiber optic connector 18. While the present invention shows fiber optic cable 16 terminated to patch panel 10, the present invention may be employed with other transmission conduits such as conventional copper electrical conductors which may be terminated by electrical connectors. In fact, it is contemplated that the present invention may be employed in combination with any transmission conduit, such as a fluid conduit, a vacuum hose or in any situation where identification of a particular conduit amongst a bundle of similar conduits is desired.
As can be seen from FIG. 1, a plurality of fiber optic cables 16 may extend from patch panel 10, The cables 16 are typically grouped in a number of bundles 20, each bundle constituting a plurality of cables 16. The cables may be run in bundles 20 or groups of bundles to the termination point remotely located from patch panel 10. The termination point could be either another patch panel (not shown) or communications components (not shown) to which the fiber optic cable 16 is connected. Such components could include computer hardware and/or telephone equipment. Thus, fiber optic cables 16 provide for signal transmission between remotely spaced components.
It may be appreciated from the depiction shown in FIG. 1, that it is often difficult to identify one of the fiber optic cables 16 from among the bundles of similar cables, especially in situations where it is necessary to identify a particular cable as being associated with a particular component located remotely therefrom.
Referring now to FIGS. 2-4, the present invention provides a fiber optic cable 16 having a jacket 26 formed of optically transmissive and translucent material so that the jacket can be externally illuminated thereby providing identification of a particular cable from among a group of similar cables.
Fiber optic cable 16 of the present invention includes a conventional centrally located elongate optical fiber 22. Fiber 22 is typically a glass fiber although the use of a plastic fiber is also contemplated. Glass fiber 22, as is well known in the fiber optic art, may include a central optically transmissive core and an optically transmissive cladding therearound. The fiber 22 may also include a protective buffer (not shown) thereover. Along and surrounding fiber 22 is a layer of fibrous strengthening members 24. Strengthening members 24 are formed of polyaramide fiber sold under the DuPont trademark KEVLAR. The strengthening members 24 add strength to the cable 16 and protect the fragile glass fiber 22. Extruded over fiber 22 and strengthening members 24 is a protective outer jacket 26, the construction of which will be described in further detail hereinbelow.
As shown in FIGS. 2-4, jacket 26 is loosely positioned around fiber 22 and strengthening members 24 so as to provide an air gap 25 therebetween. This is referred to as a loose tube construction. It is, however, contemplated that in a preferred form, the jacket 26 may be extruded tightly around strengthening members 24 and fiber 22 so that little or no air gap will exist therebetween. This is referred to as tight buffer construction. Jacket 26 is formed of a plastic material which is both optically transmissive (i.e. light may be propagated therealong) and optically translucent (i.e. light may be emitted or passed therethrough). As will be described in further detail hereinbelow, the optical material forming jacket 26 permits light to be directly injected into jacket 26 and transmitted and emitted continuously therealong so that the jacket will illuminate along its length permitting external visualization of the light by a technician. When so illuminated, one fiber optic cable 16 may be identified from among a bundle of similar cables which are not illuminated.
As shown in further detail in FIGS. 3 and 4, jacket 26 of fiber optic cable 16 includes an inner cylindrical jacket core 28 surrounded by an outer relatively thinner jacket cladding 30. In one example of a loose tube construction shown in FIGS. 3 and 4, jacket core 28 has a wall thickness of about 70 μm and jacket cladding has a wall thickness of about 10 μm. In a preferred tight buffer construction example, while the jacket cladding wall 30 thickness is the same, the jacket core 28 wall thickness is about 1 mm. The optically transmissive jacket core 28 is formed of extruded polymethyl(methacrylate) (PMMA). This material is highly translucent if not transparent and also permits light which is injected into the jacket core to be propagated along the length of the jacket core in a manner described hereinbelow. Jacket cladding 30 is formed of extruded perfluorinated polymethyl(methacrylate) (modified PMMA). As described further hereinbelow, modified PMMA has an index of refraction which is slightly lower than PMMA. Therefore, jack cladding 30 is slightly less optically transmissive than jacket core 28. However, jacket cladding 30 does permit injection and transmission of light therealong. Further it is contemplated that jacket 26 may be constructed to have a jacket cladding layer of modified PMMA both on the inside and the outside of the jacket core.
Referring to FIG. 5, the method of manufacturing a tight buffer fiber optic cable 16 of the present invention is schematically shown. Optical fiber having strengthening members 24 wrapped therearound is inserted between the dies 31 of a co-extrusion molding apparatus 32. As is well known in the co-extrusion art, inner jacket core 28 is formed by first extruding PMMA directly over the combination of fiber 22 and strengthening members 24 at a first location 33. In a second successive portion of the co-extrusion molding apparatus 32, modified PMMA is then extruded over the PMMA jacket core 28 at a second location 37 to form the cable 16 shown in FIGS. 2-4. While the co-extrusion technique shown in FIG. 5 may be preferably used, other techniques to form a fiber optic cable may also be employed in accordance with the present invention. In loose tube construction the jacket 26 may be extruded separately from the fiber 22.
In order to employ jacket 26 as a traceable element, the ability of the jacket 26 to propagate light as an auxiliary fiber optic device is briefly described.
As is well known in fiber optic technology, light may be transmitted along a fiber (in this case jacket 26 itself) by selecting the core and cladding of the jacket to have certain optical properties. The material forming the core of the optical device is selected to have an index of refraction which is greater than the material forming the cladding. Rays of light (sometimes called modes) injected into the core will strike the boundary between the core and cladding and due to the differences in the respective indexes of refraction will be reflected back into the core. Repeated reflection causes light rays to be propagated along the core. However, due in part to the angle of incidence (injection) of the light, the relative indexes of refraction of the core and cladding and the condition of the boundary, some rays or modes of light will escape into the cladding at certain angles. Light will couple between the core/cladding boundary b1 (FIG. 7) where the rays of light striking the boundary exceed the critical angle of the boundary. The critical angle θc is defined by the equation: ##EQU1## Where N2 is the refractive index of the cladding and N1 is the refractive index of the core. The transfer or coupling of light between the core and cladding is enhanced significantly where the optical device is bent. This changes the angle at which the light strikes the core/cladding boundary causing additional rays to penetrate the core/cladding boundary. The rays of light which now escape into the cladding will also be propagated along the cladding in a similar manner. As the air surrounding the cladding has a low index of refraction some of the light in the cladding will be reflected back into the cladding, and some of the rays of light exceeding the critical angle of the cladding/air boundary b2 (FIG. 7) will escape the cladding thereby illuminating the cable.
Referring specifically to FIGS. 6 and 7, the ability of jacket 26 to transmit light along its core 28 and emit light through cladding 30, also permits light to be injected into the core and cladding. If jacket 26 is bent, it will change the angle of incidence of the light rays striking both the core/cladding boundary as well as the boundary between the cladding and air. Changes in the angle of incidence of the light rays results in certain rays exceeding the critical angle at both the core/cladding boundary b1, as well as at the cladding/air boundary b2 (in the case of the cladding/air boundary, N2 =the index of refraction of air while N1 =the index of refraction of the cladding, in the above equation). These changes permit light to be injected into cladding 30 and through cladding 30 into core 28. Some rays of injected light will be propagated along core 28, some rays will be propagated along cladding 30 and some rays will escape the cladding 30 thereby illuminating jacket 26.
The coupling of light into or the escape of light from an optical device as a result of bending the device, is commonly referred to as macrobending and is well known in the optical fiber art. Examples of such are seen in U.S. Pat. No. 5,039,188 and U.S. Pat. No. 5,260,566.
Jacket 26 may be bent at an appropriate angle or bend radius to optimize injection of light. A mandrel or other apparatus (not shown) may be employed. A light source 35 such as a hand-held penlight or similar device may be placed against the jacket 26 at the location 26a of the bend to inject light thereinto.
As shown in further detail in FIG. 7 light transmission along jacket 26 may be described. Light is injected into jacket 26 at bend location 26a with light source 35. As above described, macrobending permits light emanating from outside of jacket 26 to be injected into jacket core 28. Light is then transmitted along the jacket core 28 in both directions in the manner described above. One mode or group of modes of such light is represented by rays 40. Rays 40 are transmitted along the length of jacket core 2S by bouncing between the core/cladding boundary b1. Escaping light rays 42 (as well as some light rays 41 which are directly injected into cladding 30 by light source 35) will be transmitted along jacket cladding 30. However, much of the light transmitted along jacket 26, cladding 30 will escape exteriorly thereof as indicated by rays 44. These escaping light rays 44 will cause jacket to illuminate. Thus, as long as light source 35 is maintained adjacent the bent location 26a of jacket 26, light will be transmitted along jacket 26 in both directions and will be emitted therealong from jacket cladding 30.
It may be appreciated that a technician who is desirous of tracing the path of an individual fiber optic cable 16 may bend the cable at any intermediate location. The technician would then apply light source 35 to the bent location 26a causing light to be injected into jacket 26 and transmitted therealong. The escaping light from jacket 26 enables the technician to identify or trace the particular fiber optic cable along its entire length. This technique for tracing or identifying a particular fiber optic cable from among a bundle of similar cables is vastly superior to prior art practices. The present technique requires no previous identification in that there need be no wire markers placed on the cable prior to installation, nor is there a need for detailed records to be kept of the particular patching scheme. Further, as the light emanates from jacket 26 along its entire length it can be identified at any location therealong. Also, as the entire length of jacket 26 illuminates it provides an immediate visual indication of the location of the particular fiber among the bundle of fibers.
Various changes to the foregoing described and shown structures would now be evident to those skilled in the art. Accordingly, the particularly disclosed scope of the invention is set forth in the following claims.
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Ms. Evelyn H. Spencer
Cosmetic Surgery, VA Pittsburgh Healthcare ENT
- 112-U University Drive C
Pittsburgh, PA 15240
- 1 Office Location
- (412) 360-6208
Ms. Evelyn H. Spencer is a practicing physician. Ms. Spencer practices medicine in Pittsburgh, PA and specializes in Cosmetic Surgery. Ms. Spencer is affiliated with VA Pittsburgh Healthcare and UPMC Presbyterian. Ms. Spencer speaks English and Spanish.
Gender: Not Available
Years in Practice: Not Available
Languages Spoken: English, Spanish
Medical School: Not Available
Graduation Date: Not Available
Hospital Affiliations: VA Pittsburgh Healthcare, UPMC Presbyterian
Specialties: Cosmetic Surgery


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"Festival of the Lion King," is a popular musical stage show that has been around since 1998. It will debut at the brand-new Harambe Theatre in the Africa section of the park on June 1.
In case you haven't seen it, the show tells the tale of Disney's "The Lion King" through acrobatics, dance, music and puppetry. You can see the show everyday in the park. It is offered at various times throughout the day.
If you haven't seen this show yet, I would suggest seeing it at least once!
Have you seen the show? If so what is your favorite part?
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November 20, 2014
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A Topeka magnet school is on the way to becoming one of the only schools in the state to offer a full-time, comprehensive bilingual program.
The Topeka Capital-Journal reports that students at Scott Dual-Language Magnet Elementary spend part of their day learning in one language, and the rest in the other. Though the Topeka district had piloted bilingual classes for four years, last year it decided to convert Scott into a fully dual-language school.
Plans call for non-bilingual classes to gradually disappear. The transition is expected to be completed by 2017.
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Novel masonry impregnant which is alcoholic solution of alyltrialkoxysilanes having up to two alkoxy groups per silicon atom. Masonry impregnated with such solutions has increased water repellancy even if it is wet with water prior to or during impregnation.
Claims available in
Description (OCR text may contain errors)
United States Patent 1191 Seiler Nov. 13 1973 METHOD FOR WATERPROOFING MASONRY STRUCTURES [56] References Cited 75 Inventor: Claus-Dietrich Seiier, Rheinfeiden, UNITED STATES PATENTS Germany 2,660,736 12/1953 Biefeld 106/287 SB 2,832,794 4/1958 Gordon 106/287 SE [73] Assignee: Dynamit Nobel Aktiengesellschaft, 2,962,390 11/1960 Fain et a1 106/13 Tr sd m y 3,244,541 4/1966 Fain et a1 106/2 [22] Filed June 14 1971 3,589,917 6/1971 Hediund 106/12 [21] Appl. No.: 153,115 Primary Examiner-Lorenzo B. Hayes Attorney-Ralph D. Dinkiage et a1. [30] Foreign Application Priority Data ABSTRACT June 15, 1970 Germany P 20 29 446.6
Novel masonry impregnant which is alcoholic so1ut1on [52] U S C] 117/123 C l06/2 106/12 of alyltrialkoxysilanes having up to two alkoxy groups l06/13 108/287 per silicon atom. Masonry impregnated with such so- [51] Int Cl C09k 3/18 lutions has increased water repellancy even if it is wet [58] Field of Search 106/2, 12, 13, 287 SB, with Prim during impregnafim 106/287 SE; 117/123 A C METHOD FOR WATERPROOFING MASONRY STRUCTURES This invention relates to silanes. It more particularly refers to a novel series of silanes and their use as water repellant impregnants for masonary.
it is known that strongly alkaline, aqueous solutions of methyl silicates can be used to impregnate masonary. Such solutions often depend upon caustic soda for their alkalinity. impregnation of masonary with such solutions is often disadvantageous however particularly due to the high alkalinity thereof. For example, the high caustic soda content of the solution will cause a gradual removal of the organosilicon compounds from the interstices of the masonry by chemical combination thereof with the surfaces of the masonary surrounding the interstitial voids. Moreover, the caustic soda solution reacts with carbon dioxide or other acidic components of the air which gives rise to salting out and the formation of efflorescence on the masonry. In addition, it is well known that merely working with strongly alkaline solutions of anything poses certain practical problems.
Water-insoluble resins derived from certain organosilicon compounds dissolved in organic solvents, and particularly in hydrocarbons, have also been used. However, these compounds can only be employed when the masonry is perfectly dry. In addition, it has been found that masonry impregnated with such agents soils more quickly than does unimpregnated masonry. This is not particularly surprising, considering the resinous character of the impregnating agent and the fact that such resin applied to the masonry does not always fully cure.
It is known to hydrolyse various alkyltrialkoxysilanes and to use such hydrolysates as water repelling impregnating agents for masonry. It is usual to employ acids, and particularly acetic acid, as hydrolyzing agents. It has been found, however, that the acetates remaining on and in the masonry when acetic acid is used as the hydrolyzing agents have a hydrophilic effect which is contrary to the hydrophobic effect which is desired.
The present invention has as an object to provide an impregnating agent for masonry which is not afflicted with the aforesaid drawbacks.
It is another object of this invention to provide improved impregnated, hydrophobic masonry.
Other and additional objects of this invention will become apparent from a consideration of this entire specification including the claims hereof.
In accord with and fulfilling these objects, one aspect of this invention resides in a novel impregnant for masonry which comprises an alcohol or hydrocarbon solution of hydrolyzed alkyltrialkoxysilane or their lower Oligomers containing up to two alkosy groups per silicon atom.
The impregnant solution according to this invention is capable of joining with and increasing the water repellancy of inorganic materials having available hydroxyl groups. Such materials are eminently exemplified by, but are not limited to, masonry surfaces and interstices. It is of particular advantage that the impregnant solutions of this invention can be used to impregnate masonry which has a residual moisture content. It is preferred that the water content of the masonry or other material being impregnated is up to about -20%.
The alkoxy group in the alkyltrialkoxysilane is preferably a methoxy or ethoxy group. The alkyl group of the alkyltrialkoxysilane is saturated and has from one to six carbon atoms, that is to say that alkyltrialkoxysilane is a methyl-, ethyl-, butyl-, pentyl-, or hexyltrialkoxysilane or a lower oligomer thereof. The alkyltrialkoxysilanes are per se known and are obtained by prior-art processes through esterification of the corresponding chlorosilanes (R-SiCl with alcohols. Oligomers of these materials are obtained by reacting the abovedescribed esters with water and continuing the condensation along with distilling off the liberated alcohol.
Alcohols having from one to three carbon atoms, and preferably ethanol, are employed as solvents. When hydrocarbon solutions are used, hydrocarbons are selected whose boiling point is in the temperature range from 50 to 150C. Light gasolines are preferred.
The hydrolysis of the alkyltrialkoxysilanes or their lower Oligomers, applied to a substrate in an alcohol or hydrocarbon solution, takes place on the substrate itself. No catalysis through chemical additives to the solutions is necessary. Substrates which lend themselves to impregnation are all inorganic materials which have components containing hydroxyl groups in any form with which Si-O bonds can link. These include cementand lime-containing materials, and in particular exterior plaster on walls, substances such as inorganic oxides, and especially aluminum and titanium oxides.
The substrate to be impregnated can be coated with the solutions of this invention by brushing or by spraying. The quantity to be applied to the surface is determined largely by the structure of the particular substrate and by the degree of water repellency it is desired to impart. Good results are obtained with amounts as small as 25 g/m of an impregnating agent consisting of a solution containing 20 to 99 weight percent alkyltrialkoxysilane. Impregnant Solutions containing 20 to weight percent alkyltrialkoxysilanes are preferred. The impregnating agent may contain different alkyltrialkoxysilanes, that is mixtures thereof. When alcoholic solutions are used, it will make no difference so far as the effect is concerned whether the substrate is dry or contains some moisture during impregnation.
The full hydrophobic effect will manifest itself about 24 hours after impregnation. If the impregnated substrate becomes wet during that time, this will not prove detrimental but will on the contrary promote the process of the substrate absorbing the impregnant.
The advantages of the impregnating agent in accordance with the invention will now be illustrated by means of a few examples:
The hydrophobic effect of the applied solutions was investigated on cylindrical bodies having the following dimensions: Diameter, 10 cm; height, 3 cm; surface area, approximately 250 sq cm. These bodies had been made from a mixture consisting of one part portland cement and four parts commerical sand of a particle size of up to 4 mm. The impregnating agent was applied to the bodies by brushing.
After a drying time of about 24 hours, the bodies were immersed in baths with a water level of 10 cm, and subjected to a wind velocity of about km/h. The water absorption was determined by weighing. The table below gives details of the results obtained with butyltrimethoxysilane (BTMOS-K) in ethanol as the solvent. The butyltrimethoxysilane oligomer was one from which nearly all methoxy groups had been con- 2. Method as claimed in claim 1 wherein said solution has more than one silane dissolved therein.
TABLE Amount of water (in grams) Wt percent Amount Amount of water (in grams) absorbed by of silane of silane absorbed after unimpregnated Body premoistened in alcohol absorbed stone after 30 with water solution [g/m) 24h 48h 72h mini lapprox.)
N t i v i i l 80 130 4 4 5 30 l 60 72 3 4 4 30 4O 8O 3 4 4 3i) 40 3 5 8 30 Yes (24 g water absorbed) 60 72 2 3 5 3t) 2 S0 96 4 4 4 30 2 60 72 4 4 4 3O 40 64 3 3 3 30 2 2O 24 2 4 5 3O BTMOS. BRMOS-K.
3. Method as claimed in claim 1 including applying said solution to said masonary in such proportion as to apply at least 25 grams of solids per square meter of masonary.
4. Method as claimed in claim 1, wherein said masonry is wet prior to said impregnation and wherein the solvent of said impregnant is an alkanoiv B-ww UNITED STATES PATENT OFFICE CERTIFICATE OF CORRECTION Patent No. 3,772,065 1 Dated November 13, 1972.-
lnventorw CIAUS-DIETRICH SEILER It is certified that error appears in the above-identified patent and that said Letters Patent are hereby corrected as shown-below:
' In the Abstract, line 2 "a lyltrialkoxysilanes" should he alkyltrialkoxysilanes Column 3, in the Table Footnote 2 "BRMOS-K",shou1d be. BTMos-K Signed al nd sealed this 11 th day of May v19%..
ew Y
EDWARD M .FLETCHER,JR. I C MARSHALL DANN Attesting Officer Commissioner of Patents
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Featured in early September, the lead single off Rick Ross's sixth full-length found him outlining the no-nonsense philosophy that's allowed him to build MMG into the hip-hop empire it is today. Needless to say, the emcees on Maybach Music's roster are just as averse to f**kery as their Bawse. On the official remix of No Games, Wale and Meek Mill jump on J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League's trunk-rattling beat to emphasize the dead-serious nature of their respective hustle. Ricky Rozay tops this rendition off with a brand new opening verse, and Epic Records hitmaker Future reprises his role as hookman. The Mastermind LP has been pushed back from its scheduled December release to an undetermined date in 2014, but fans can find the remix on MMG's new Priorities, Vol. 1 tape, out as of this Tuesday.
Rick RossFuture Meek MillWale HitmakerStreet Banger
Written by richard on 12/4/13
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