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Christianity: So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12.
Buddhism: Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Udana-Varga 5,1
Judaism: What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary. Talmud, Shabbat 3id
1. Say yes and keep saying yes. "Can I bring him back late?" "Will you pack her Christmas dress?" "Can I trade days?" Say yes every time. Always know what your decree or other order requires but then always say yes. Don't say, "yes if you will do x, y, z." You can't make someone else be kind. You can only make sure you are kind. Look for these opportunities because your kids are watching and will notice. Just say yes. Maybe smile a little too.
2. Buy the other parent a gift from your child. This is such a cheap and easy way to show the other parent you acknowledge and support the relationship between your child and his or her mother or father. If you want halos or you are an overachiever, also buy your co-parent's significant other a present. Think Julia Roberts in Step Mom.
3. Follow your child's lead on Christmas/Hanukkah. If your child wants mom to come to lunch but its not her day, invite her! If your son wants to see what his father got in his stocking, drive him by his dad's house.
4. Include other half and step siblings in all traditions. Every child wants to be equal to their siblings and every child wants love from the mother and father, grandmother and grandfather figures in the homes they live in. All traditions should be evenly shared among the children. Tell your parents to bring a gift for your step son and to make sure if there is a family day planned to see Santa, that it's scheduled around your step child's visitation day. The only qualifier should be that the child is a child, not that the child belongs to so and so or doesn't belong to so and so. Remember that halves and steps are terms and types of relationships children learn. Try to teach them that "halves" and "steps" are like "bonus" and "cool".
5. Take a family photo. Not photo of your family. Take a photo of your child's family. Who are important to him? Who is his mimi, her sisi, his mommy, her other mommy, his big brother…? Let that picture be his family photo he shares at school. Show him his family tree and how many people he belongs to. You have plenty of photos of your family, but does your child have one photo of everyone in HER family?
Look to your left and look to your right. Chances are you are looking at a victim of domestic violence. Man or woman. Don't argue with the statistics. It's true.
Here I sit behind the white ivory tower of my keyboard and tell those who are abused to get out of the relationship, get safe and get a protective order. I read the articles. I know trying to get out could get you killed. Stay safe but don't lose hope.
Once a judge grants a protective order, and it is served, violations could result in a year in jail and fines. Repeat violations are 3rd degree felonies. It's a big deal. It's there to help you reclaim your liberty. Use it.
It's not easy to get. The hardest part is showing a "clear and present danger with a likelihood of future family violence" per the Texas Family Code. The police, the District Attorney and your lawyer can help you with this. Pack a bag, get a temporary phone, have extra keys, have a lawyer, know where the shelters are.
1. The Business Owner. A properly created business has exhaustive company agreements, succession planning and creditor protection. Unless you have every confidence in your documents, you may want to consider a pre-nup to set up agreements between you and your spouse. I see many family-owned businesses severely disrupted by divorce, especially by the temporary orders phase. Image a couple in crises and both spouses are signatories on the company checking account. Perhaps each believes he/she runs the business and should be able to continue to run it exclusive to the other spouse. Where does a court begin to do what's in the marital estate's best interest? It is much easier on the Court if there is an agreement in place.
2. The Second Wife and Step-Mother. The reason wife No. 2 needs a pre-nup has everything to do with the probate code. When a spouse dies without a will and has children from a different marriage, Texas law requires that the majority of the estate goes to the deceased's children. This is a huge problem for second wives.
Imagine a second wife who has young children being left with almost nothing. She will have her community interest in property earned or acquired during the marriage except for property her husband inherited, but that's it.
A pre-nup can avoid this problem in two ways. One, a pre-nup can provide for trusts, bequests and contingent awards in a highly tailored manner. Typically, these provisions satisfy the needs of children from prior marriages as well as the spouse and children from the second marriage. Because a pre-nup is created before marriage, it provides answers to these issues before the challenges of marriage influence decisions. Secondly, a carefully drafted pre-nup can trump a will that leaves out a spouse. Yes, that's right. Spouses do not have to leave their estate to their surviving spouse unless they have a pre-nup.
3. The Stay-At-Home Mom. As you may have read in previous articles, a stay-at-home mom is the most common penniless woman in the family courthouse. If the plan is for you to stay at home — the flexible one, the one who doesn't climb the corporate ladder and so on — you won't have much of a launching pad for a career should you divorce or your spouse pass away.
There isn't a way to provide for a launching pad in divorce, but you could at least ask for yearly retirement savings in the likely amount you would have earned had your career not been the priority. For example, if you leave your advertising job of $80,000 per year to raise children by your never-home regional manager husband, consider asking for him to agree that the family will deposit 10 percent of your forgone salary into a retirement vehicle that would be considered your separate property upon divorce or death. Your resume may not be prepared, but at least you wouldn't have to start all over on retirement planning.
4. The young (and dumb). Please do not take offense. I say young and dumb because undisclosed credit card debt is a very big and growing problem. Refinancing, consolidating, co-signing … can be very confusing and often misleading to the young and in love. A key element to pre-nups is that they require full disclosure of assets and liabilities. Younger people simply do not have the skills to confirm the credit worthiness of their fiancé. I suppose a good liar would also lie about their liabilities before marriage, but at least with the majority of people, a meaningful conversation can be started about debt, who is paying for it and how to get out of it.
Even after the fat lady sings, it's still not over. Half of my business is made up of cases where parents need to change their custodial agreements and orders due to changed circumstances. The agreements that worked at the time of divorce won't necessarily work even 5 years down the road when parents have moved, remarried, had more children, lost jobs and so on. Despite the fact that these life events are common and you would think parents would not have to go back to court over these issues, I find modifications to be the most contentious.
Child support is probably the most obvious reason to modify a prior order. Just today I represented a child support paying mother whose income is steadily decreasing. Although I am sure the father feels that she is intentionally scaling back to avoid additional support, the income was what it was and the Court lowered her support based upon her reduced income. Keep in mind that child support is generally not based on the needs of the child but on a percentage of the parent's net income up to a certain point.
Another reason why parents end up back in court is because the child decides they would prefer to live with the other parent. After the child turns 12, the court has to interview the child in cases where the right to determine the primary residence is at issue. Although the court does not have to do what the child requests, the child's input could play a role depending upon the circumstances.
In some cases, the right to determine the primary residence is not at issue but visitation is. When parents can't agree on their own, they will come to us lawyers and the courts to handle visitation issues. For example, if one parent lives just far enough to make it very difficult to see mom for 30 days in the summer and train for high school football. Or when a daughter wants to spend Thanksgiving doing missionary work and some other time with Dad needs to be arranged. These examples are minor. What gets to be more serious is when mom or dad's social drinking devolves into alcoholism or other life events that need to be dealt with.
Parents often move over 100 miles from the other parent. When that happens, visitation needs to change from the standard 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends during the school year for parents that reside less than 100 miles apart to something more flexible or specifically tailored to the family's needs.
The problem with all these common occurrences is that modification actions can cost quadruple what you paid in the divorce. Typically, divorcing parents just want the divorce done. They disregard a lot of advice from their lawyers advising them to be very specific and forward thinking in their agreements so that they anticipate future problems and therefore avoid costly litigation. But by the time the divorce is being finalized and the documents are being drafted, parents stop caring. They want it DONE.
The reason why these modifications cost so much more is that more than one hearing is needed to walk the court down the road of explaining the basis for the modification. One hearing for child support, one hearing to have the child interviewed, one hearing to argue over what school records are admissible, one hearing to force a parent to go to specific counseling or other parenting classes. This can go on and on and on depending upon the stubbornness of the other side. This of course only hurts children and destroys pocket books. Unfortunately for others though, it is the only way to make a change.
"Does my child get to pick who she wants to live with when she is 12?" I get that a lot. The answer is "yes and no." I know, I'm a big help.
The Texas Family Code allows a child to be interviewed by the judge in chambers so that he or she can express her wishes, but that does not mean he or she is the decider.
This is a mother's problem. Fathers don't worry about this near as much as mothers do. Mothers feel that when their children "live" with dad, that the world must think they are a terrible mother. Think about it. People wonder, "How did she lose her children?" or "what did she do?" If a mother "loses custody," then she must have been arrested or getting treatment. When a child decides that they would prefer to live primarily with dad, mom does not lose custody. She actually practically gets the same amount of non-school time, weekends, and a long period in the summer.
At the risk of losing my reader's attention, here is the specific statute allowing a child to be interviewed.
Texas Family Code § 153.009.
(a) In a nonjury trial or at a hearing, on the application of a party, the amicus attorney, or the attorney ad litem for the child, the court shall interview in chambers a child 12 years of age or older and may interview in chambers a child under 12 years of age to determine the child's wishes as to conservatorship or as to the person who shall have the exclusive right to determine the child's primary residence. The court may also interview child in chambers on the court's own motion for a purpose specified by this subsection.
(b) In a nonjury trial or at a hearing, on the application of a party, the amicus attorney, or the attorney ad litem for the child or on the court's own motion, the court may interview the child in chambers to determine the child's wishes as to possession, access, or any other issue in the suit affecting the parent-child relationship.
(c) Interviewing a child does not diminish the discretion of the court in determining the best interests of the child.
(d) (f) (omitted by author to save attention spans)
If you haven't stopped paying attention or gone to another article, hopefully I can get you back.
Since everyone knows children need meaningful relationships with both parents, let's not make this a statement on motherhood. Be informed that when a child wants to "live" with dad, it means he or she wants to be with him more. Since when is it a bad thing for children to want to be with a parent? Sometimes children need one parent more than the other during certain times of their lives. If you and your spouse get along, then most likely your child will never have to be interviewed by the judge. If you can agree that the child should spend more time with the other parent, then crisis is averted.
Yes, if a Court determines that the child should live with the other parent, it could have child support implications. But, if your reason to fight your child's wishes to live with the other parent is because of child support, you need to re-consider the fight.
Obviously, there are other fact patters worthy of the fight. Let's say the child gets away with smoking pot or cutting school when he or she is with dad. I'm sure the child will tell the Court all about why dad is better, but fighting that makes sense.
In conclusion, a court must interview a child who is 12 years old or other to hear who they would select as the parent with the right to determine the primary residence and may interview a child to hear their take on possession and access or other issues, but it does not mean that the judge will turn around and order who or what the child selected. It does not mean that the child is in charge. Conservatorship, visitation, parental rights and obligations depend on the best interest of the child. The best interest of the child depend upon countless factors, one of which is the child's wishes.
It's important, as a mother, to know the difference between your child genuinely needing their father and a situation where your child wants to go clubbing with dad. Be kind to the mothers who are emotionally evolved and can support their child in wanting to be with dad more. Even if he lives with a homewrecker and her evil children.
Note from Kelly:
A client wrote this blog after her divorce was final, with the benefit of hindsight and (probably) the anxiety of my final bill. This client was one of the most organized clients I have had. She also listened well, especially when I told her things that were difficult to hear. This client is NOT an attorney and the below information is not legal advice.
"Choosing to end a 19 year marriage, or any marriage, is not an easy decision. As Dr. Phil says "you have to earn your way out of the relationship." Once you have decided that it is the right decision for your life, there are steps you can take to make this excruciating experience a little less painful. First and foremost, make sure you have a good therapist to walk you through the emotional process of divorce. The attorney you decide upon is NOT your family therapist.
Second, prepare before the separation. Scan and save all the important information on an external drive or zip drive and include copies of your tax returns and income for the previous four (4) years. Gather pay stubs, bank statements, 401k statements or any information regarding retirement accounts, documents regarding life insurance, health insurance, titles to vehicles, deeds for your home or other property such as a timeshare or even a burial plot, and copy all household bills. Create a clear spreadsheet of monthly income and expenses. Prepare a list of all household items you own from the kitchen table and chairs to the dishes. These are assets that you have acquired over the years and they will be a part of the division of your marital estate. Be clear about what property was brought to the marriage, what was gained during the marriage and what was inherited during the marriage. Take photos of the house, the household items or any large assets. All of this information should be organized in a logical manner that is easily found by you or the Paralegal for your attorney. (These documents should be saved in PDF format.) Now that you have an asset list, prepare the liability list and include the mortgage, rent, credit card bills, doctor bills, loans and any other debt you may owe including any family members who have loaned you funds.
Now that you have gathered the information, prepare a summary or list of what you want to come away with, best case scenario. Think about not only the present moment, but the future. Come back to this list a few days later, and NOT when you are upset, and then decide what you can let go. What is it that is a deal breaker for you? You had to decide what the deal breaker was when you made the decision to leave the marriage, do it again with regards to your financial future and the future of your children if applicable. Be flexible and creative, trust your gut.
Third, find an attorney that is a good match for you. I have been a Paralegal for 20 years and personally know plenty of attorneys. I learned first-hand through my divorce that finding the right attorney is much like dating or finding a mate. It is important to talk to two or three attorneys to find the right match for you. Prior to meeting with the attorney, review the list of what you want to come away with, the issues that are involved in the divorce, and know that you will not get everything on your list.
Fourth, approach the split as a business decision. We all know that divorce is expensive any way you approach it. However, it can be less painful and less costly if you keep your emotions out of the decision making process. The business and finances are the issues that your attorney is skilled and equipped to help you resolve. Regardless of the reason for the divorce, how mad or hurt either party is, neither of you win (certainly the children lose) by continuing to hurt each other while fighting with your attorneys in the middle. In the end, all you come away with are more wounds and less money, so no matter what, stay focused. Time to time, you will veer of the path, but a good attorney will redirect you.
Fifth, do not use the divorce as a means to seek revenge. While negotiating think carefully about what you and your soon to be ex are arguing over. Every phone call, email, letter or communication with your attorney or staff will cost you and your ex significant money which lessens the amount of money to be divided. Look at it this way, most of us can go to a one hour therapy session for a co-pay of $50.00; however you are most likely paying your attorney at a minimum $250.00 per hour, plus paying the Paralegal $150.00 per hour. Mathematically, you are going to get more bang for your buck if you keep the two issues separate. That doesn't mean that your attorney doesn't need to know what is happening. You should contact your attorney if your soon to be ex is sending crazy text messages, emails, showing up at your house or taking money from bank accounts. As always, clear communication is essential, however, the attorney and paralegal do not need to hear a blow by blow detail of your day. Keep a journal and notes of all of the issues at hand. When you do communicate with your attorney stick to the subject, be concise and focused. He or she is most likely billing you in 15 minute increments. Each e-mail and/or telephone call will be billed at a minimum of 15 minutes. So send one concise email bullet pointed with the core matter and do not call to ask if the attorney or paralegal received the email, they will respond when it is appropriate.
Sixth, one of the most difficult decisions you make may be regarding custody and visitation with your children. Think about custody based on the age of your children. It is not only the present relationship that is important, but the one you will have with them long after custody is over. That is the most valuable and longest time you will have with your children. Once your children are teenagers they will have a life beyond mom and dad and, they will have more of a voice in where they go and who they spend time with. No one can force a driving teenager to go someplace they don't want to be. If you have older teenagers, do you really want to spend the next year or two fighting the other parent over custody, visitation, splitting of assets or money? By the time the issue is resolved, you have spent a lot of money and heartache fighting and the children will be ready to go off to college and live their own life. A wise woman once reminded me that your child's parent is just that, his/her parent and you can never change that. You couldn't change him/her while you were married to them and you certainly can't change them after divorce.
Finally, a divorce decree is a contract and in order to enforce the contract you have to take the offending party to court. Are the issues you and your ex are quibbling over in the decree really something that you would take them to court for and spend thousands of dollars to try to enforce? In the end the chances are most likely not. In the same respect, perhaps you can give in on another matter just to get the divorce resolved. Always trust your gut and be true to yourself. You are not going to get everything you want. Determine early in the process the things that mean the most to you and what you might want, but would be willing to give up, so that your attorney has some items to with which to negotiate.
If you choose to incorporate one or more of these suggestions, your divorce will most likely end more quickly with less money wasted fighting and most importantly, with fewer wounds and scars. While divorce is terribly painful, there is the possibility of happiness, peace and hope in the end. I am living it first-hand." Anonymous
This article was originally published by Plaid for Women https://www.plaidforwomen.com/read-post/two-regrets-of-a-divorced-woman/
The Family Courthouse is paved with women who claim the system is against them. Many feel that they waited too long and some wish they had tried harder to reconcile. Beyond the emotional wasteland left by a divorce, a divorced woman has many economical regrets. Here are two I have heard over and over again:
1. That they didn't stay employed.
Some women report being frustrated that they were not entitled to spousal maintenance or did not get as much as they would have liked. This is especially true for the homemaker, but in our changing society where women are increasingly doing the "bread winning," it can be true for husbands as well. Texas law allows for monthly spousal maintenance (a/k/a support) up to $5,000 or 20% of an ex-spouse's gross income, whichever is lower, if a spouse can prove that she "lacks sufficient property including the spouse's separate property, on dissolution of the marriage to provide for the spouse's minimum reasonable needs" among other elements. Please refer to Texas Family Code Chapter 8 for the entire law which contains other elements and factors not addressed here.
Flushing out what "lacking sufficient property" actually means is difficult. Case law demonstrates that Courts look to a variety of factors including, the community property award in the divorce and the spouses education, separate property, health, employment experience and business opportunities. There is no formula such as monthly expenses are $3,000 therefor the spouse is awarded $3,000. It's much broader than that.
The practical application of this law makes spousal maintenance quite difficult to obtain. One, the ex-spouse may not have sufficient income to pay what is needed for the spouse to get by and two, minimum reasonable needs are typically shelter and food, not mani/pedis. Much to the disappointment of many women, the standard is not to keep the divorced spouse's lifestyle the same as her married lifestyle.
A common example would be a spouse married to a hard working executive who chooses to stay home because it's hard enough on the family that one parent is gone all the time. The hard working executive works too hard and picks up a nasty addiction to alcohol. The alcohol abuse leads to the couple's cash reserves being used up for rehab, disability, therapy and suddenly, when the alcoholism finally destroys the relationship, the money is gone. Now, homemaking spouse is unemployed with a ton of bills and the hard working spouse is no longer employed at the rate he was. Her best asset is now her resilience, from which she has to dig deep to find and use to fuel moving on.
On the flip side but on the same side of the coin, had the homemaking spouse stayed employed, she would at least have somewhere to start. Any place other than unemployed and broke is better than that. True, a spouse with some employment opportunity would be less eligible for spousal maintenance but at least she would have a paycheck rather than being subject to the court's wide-ranging discretion. It can take months before spousal maintenance is ordered by the court and actually paid by the spouse. A judge can only enter orders and enforce them. She cannot babysit the parties to make sure it gets done. And can you hear the "cha-ching"? Every time a lawyer has to go back to court for something, it costs.
2. That they kept documents.
The way assets and debts are awarded in divorce requires some level of proof as to the asset or debt's status. How do you prove you used your inheritance to buy the house if you don't have any records? How do you show that you funded your 401(k) for years prior to marriage? How much cash does a spouse earn under the table? How many credit cards and lines of credit are out there? The dining furniture was a gift to both of you right?
Keeping original documents regarding important transactions are important for many reasons, too many of which to cover in this article. I will discuss two. One, having documents is important to show when property or debt is separate since the law presumes all property and debt owned by either party belongs to the community. In order to overcome that presumption, a party must submit proof that a particular asset or debt is separate property. Separate property is acquired before marriage, by gift or by inheritance. Proof is usually in the form of bank accounts, check stubs, contracts, paychecks, letters, titles and so forth. Who keeps up with that stuff? Not everyone, but the divorced spouse wishes she had.
Secondly, keeping original documents is important to show the current status of income, debt and other property rights. For example, wife swears husband got a $50,000 bonus and bought a sports car for his girlfriend in her name with the cash. This stuff happens people. I know you know it does. Continuing on, the company that bonused him is now out of business and the $300 an hour lawyer can't subpoena documents to prove the bonus ever existed. This leads to another topic for another day. Stay involved in the finances. This scenario can be a huge waste of time and money for everyone to prove either the existence of a lie or to disprove a wild allegation impossible to disprove because it never happened.
1. MONEY! If you have become intimately familiar with the billable hour and retainers then you know what I am talking about. Reading billing statements showing entries for lawyer time for discussing who gets "this" or "that" is painful. Clients find themselves asking "I have to pay a thousand dollar bill from my attorney because my ex-spouse's attorney called her five times to negotiate the china cabinet?" How does that make sense? If spouses are able discuss what assets and debts go with whom, then they will save money. It goes without saying that the attorney's fees factor can grow exponentially when there are parenting issues.
2. It's better for the kids. I'm just a family law attorney, but how can children learn to resolve conflict if their parents can't agree on a pick up time or child support? They may learn how to build walls, ahem, I mean boundaries, but they will not learn how to resolve conflict. I find that those children then exhibit the same behaivor against their parents as their parents exhibited towards the other during the divorce. Talk about backfiring.
3. It will prevent future litigation. When kids are involved, it's not always over when the divorce is granted. Many issues can arise in the future as the needs of the family change. It is very common for financial and emotional needs to change. For example, a teenager may need more time with the other parent during a certain time of his or her life and if his or her parents don't get along, all out war will erupt when the child asks to be interviewed by the court.
4. Defamation is tough to prove. If an ex-spouse is prone to blast the other in the community, it's difficult to tame the loud mouth and courts are not always willing to use their power to get involved.
5. The finale – You will see your child more. Getting along with your ex-spouse means you can squeeze an extra day into your ski vacation or switch a weekend here or there. It could also mean you get more communication about the child's schoolwork, extra curriculars, a bad breakup and so on.
There are two types of subpoenas that can command two types of actions. Trial subpoenas command appearance at a trial or hearing and discovery subpoenas command appearance to give testimony for the purpose of discovery of evidence. Either way, the subpoena can also ask for production of documents or tangible items for trial, a hearing or discovery.
The subpoena power can reach beyond the parties in a lawsuit. It can also compel non-parties or entities to comply. Although there are some limits, generally speaking, someone can be compelled to testify or produce documents in a case that they are not directly involved in. For example, Denise Richards could have been subpoenaed in Charlie Sheen's criminal assault case for his alleged attack on Brooke Mueller. In his suit against Kim Kardashian, Chris Humphries (her 72 day husband) subpoenaed Kanye West (her boyfriend) to appear and give testimony at a deposition, purportedly to show she didn't intend to marry Chris for legitimate reasons.
Oftentimes, the only way to obtain admissible evidence in a case and prepare for trial is to seek information from third parties using a subpoena. Bank records, computer files, corporate books and records, report cards, medical records, phone records and so forth are good examples. Note: Facebook and other social media sites are protected by federal law from the subpoena power.
Failing to comply with a subpoena could result in contempt charges. The statute allows for a court to assess fines or require the non-appearing party to be confined. Texas Rule of Civil Procedure 176.8.
A Webb County District Court refused to admit a mother's provocative Facebook pictures in a termination case. The County Attorney attempted to introduce Facebook pictures and posts by asking the mother if she in fact had posted provocative pictures of herself. When the mother said no, the attorney sought to use the pictures to show the jury that the mother was a liar and to impeach her character. I'm sure the shock factor of a mother of six posing for nasty pictures for the public to see was only a small bonus.
The mother, whose Facebook pictures and comments were too inappropriate for repeating here, argued that they should be excluded for two reasons. One, because she recanted her testimony that she hadn't posted provocative pictures, and two, because they were more prejudicial that probative.
The Appellate Court agreed with her first point because the record showed the jury already knew she was liar and the introduction of more evidence that she lied about whether or not she posts provocative pictures of Facebook would be redundant. The Court then cited the proposition that exclusion of evidence that is cumulative is harmless.
I'm not saying there is much of a lesson in this case except that there are situations where Facebook pictures are inadmissible. The mother in this case was accused of many disturbing acts including trying to set her house on fire with her children in it. I don't think the Facebook pictures were the center of the County's case.


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Greetings and Salutations! I want to let you know, whether you're a music student or a fellow lover of music, that you have great untapped potential for music! More so than most people would tell you, because music is a powerful, life giving, uplifting gift that comes to all those that love and enjoy it.
If you have a desire to pursue music in any shape or fashion. I congratulate you! You open to yourself a brand new world filled with fun, excitement and great opportunities.
My Philosophy:
There is great music potential waiting to be untapped in yourself. I value greatly the time I spend with every student and wish them to become the very best at the instrument they wish to pursue.
There is indescribable expression to be found in music. A wide range of emotions can be conveyed along with untold stories just waiting to be opened up. I will help foster a student's ability to see music for what it really is and help them strive for whatever musician they wish to become, whether it be for personal fulfillment, just for fun and recreation, or even in the pursuit of becoming an effective classical musician.
My Education:
My mother took me took a classical concert when I was six and I sat in the front of the stringed section. After the concert I made my decision that would shape the rest of my life, I wanted to become like those musicians.
I eventually graduated from a local music school in the following years in piano and violin and immediately went to enter the Tchaikovsky Conservatory. I was among the 10 out of 40 applicants that were eventually chosen, along with being the youngest of them as well.
After four years of study, I graduated and received my Bachelor's Degree in Music. I then went on to study for another year and received my Master's Degree in Piano.
My Other Experience:
I was Church Music Director in Kiev for Living Water Church from 2002 - 2010. I directed the adult choir, directed and led church worship services, accompanied various musicians and managed all aspects of church music responsibilities, including budgeting, rehearsals, planning and library management.
I also have been a private music teacher for several years teaching adults and young students. I planned lessons with them and established their repertoire.
I am also fluent in the Russian language and have extensive computer literacy.
Notable Recitals
Tchaikovsky National Academy of Music Kiev, Ukraine
(Winter and Spring recitals throughout 2005 to 2010)
Performed works by Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Liszt, Rachmaninoff, and Gershwin
Music School no. 9 Kiev, Ukraine (Spring 2005, Winter 2007)
Performed works by Bach, Beethoven, Liszt, Chopin, and Rachmaninoff
Revutzky Music College Chernihiv, Ukraine (Summer 2010)
Performed works by Beethoven and Gershwin
St. Sophia Orthodox Cathedral Kiev, Ukraine (Spring 2010)
Performed Chamber music works by Beethoven
I do look forward to meeting you and working together with you in learning music!
*** Lesson Details ***
I pay close attention to the fundamentals of music especially throughout the early lessons. These include reading notes, measuring tempo and rhythm, sight reading, hand positioning, posture, and technique.
I believe in positive reinforcement for all my students. Building a kind and friendly atmosphere is paramount for encouraging students, especially children, to continue pursuing music. Everyone I believe has hidden music potential, and I believe the key to unlocking this is through inspiration. Music is a grand adventure of excitement and discovery for everyone.
I am very kind and honest with my students and am never too strict with them, but I do require and greatly encourage regularly that they make habitual practice a vital part of their musical education. As the old saying goes, "Practice makes Perfect." There is great truth to that saying especially when learning a musical instrument.
*** Travel Equipment ***
Student's to provide necessary instrument, piano or violin
*** Specialties ***
Russian School of Piano Playing, Beginner to Professional Piano Performance, Advanced Music Performance, Music Theory, and Intermediate Violin and Music Recording
My musical journey began with piano lessons at age 8 followed by flute lessons the next year. My passion for the flute grew as I played in school bands from 4th to 12th grade. I attended Southwestern University from 2009 to 2013 and graduated with a BM in Music Performance on the flute (magna cum laude) and gave private lessons throughout most of my college career with great success. I have performed in several ensembles including the flute choir, wind ensemble and orchestra at SU, as well as The Gilbert and Sullivan Society of Austin Orchestra in their production of The Mikado. I currently play with the Shimmer Flute Choir and am an active member of the Houston Flute Club.
Although classically trained I also enjoy classic rock and appreciate music from other cultures as well.
Fun Fact: In college I arranged Three Dog Night's Joy to the Word/Jeremiah was a Bullfrog for flute quartet which has been performed on two separate occasions and was well received!
In addition to the flute I also have experience with the piccolo, alto, and bass flute. I love performing and I share my passion for music with my students.
*** Lesson Details ***
I offer lessons that cover just about every aspect of flute-playing. Students can expect to become well-rounded musicians that are knowledgeable about flute technique, tone, music theory and history. I use the Rubank Method with handout supplements. The biggest changes I've seen in my students after a few months is a better understanding of how to practice efficiently as well as improved tone.
I strive to make lessons fun and interesting. I do not consider myself strict, but I do not ignore bad habits. My goal is to see students improve. I want students to understand that playing an instrument is a lot of fun, but it is also a lot of hard work.
My teaching philosophy focuses on slow and deliberate practice of technique while still appreciating the expression and style of a piece. I never force a student to play a piece he or she does not like because I feel that doing so discourages practice and slows musical development. I like to encourage students to pick their own solos and partly base the lesson on whatever aspects of the solo need attention, as well as whatever else the student is working on. I try to use a variety of methods for explaining concepts including pictures, verbal descriptions, demonstrations, etc., depending on what works best for the student. I focus heavily on good posture and tone production, stressing on learning good playing habits at a young age. I believe that music lessons should be a fun and engaging part of a student's week. Ultimately my goal is to share my enthusiasm for music and my instrument with the student and deepen their love for the art.
*** Studio Equipment ***
My studio is located in the front room of my home and includes a music stand, piano and comfortable chairs in case parents would like to stay for the lesson.
*** Specialties ***
I primarily concentrate on classical music, but I also have experience with extended techniques, which include singing and playing at the same time, key clicks, and multiphonics.
Charles, a self described spiritual vocal artist whose repertoire offers songs of faith, healing, hope, love, peace, harmony, and enlightenment. He has a flair for infusing familiar and beloved inspirational and spiritual songs with a fresh, smooth, and distinctive sensibility entirely his own. His self-confidence is projected with warmth, charm, and genuine love for his music.
He captures the essence and spirit of those classic singers that have gone before him and established a tradition of great singing�.Johnny Mathis, Nat King Cole, and Harry Belafonte, as well as the more contemporary sounds of Peabo Bryson, Wintley Phipps, Luther Vandross, Jeffrey Osborne.
He is in his element singing as a soloist for spiritual ceremonies, concerts, conferences, services and related events. His musical accomplishments extend to include performances at the Carlyle Hotel in New York City, The Jazz and Blues Company in Carmel, California, Houston Grand Opera, Opera Omaha, and the Houston Symphony as well as roles in musical theater with "Showboat" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". Most recently, he performed for former first lady, Laura Bush and Peter Buffett, son of investment mogul, Warren Buffett.
As a singing teacher, Charles has taught voice both privately and within the public school sector for over 18 years. He received his Bachelor's Degree from the University of Houston System and has studied extensively with operatic tenor, Joseph Frank and well known Houston vocal coach, Tom Mckinney. He has also taken masterclasses with world renowned teachers including Hollywood vocal coach, Seth Riggs.
Charles has served as a preliminary vocal judge for the popular "Gimme the Mike" singing talent TV show on NBC Houston, 97.9 The Box "Hatta's Idol", coached 2 American Idol Finalists, one Xfactor top 10 contestant season 1, and 2 semifinalists for the "Voice". He also served as a vocal coach for Beyonce's Music World Entertainment's Project Popstar, under the direction of Matthew Knowles.
As a life coach, I provide personal coaching for singers and musicians. This process involves helping a singer to first and foremost identify and understand why he/she sings, and what is the message they want to deliver when they walk on stage. In other words, what do they have to say?? From this viewpoint, they can create educational and professional goals based on their highest truth and life purpose. and address any issues that might be blocking them from achieving those goals. One of the major challenges that singers face are making career and life choices that will balance with their artistic or musical goals. In addition, it is very important to know your true gifts, passions, motivations and intentions. Moreover, having a realistic view and understanding of the recording business vs. the music playing business is essential to your overall business plan and success. You must also find the time and energy to pursue your art while making a stable and rewarding living. Lastly, if you are a creative type who is struggling with two common life dilemmas: the "starving artist" who is tired of panicking every time the rent is due, and the " well paid professional" desiring the time to devote to his or her art, then life coaching is for you
*** Lesson Details ***
I teach a vocal technique which is called singing on the speaking level, or "Singing with the ease of Speech". It provides the student with a systematic approach to link together all the registers of the voice-chest and head. The student and I work together to build a bridge between the low voice and high voice, (through the break) combining those parts in the middle creating "the mix" ( a blend of chest and head voice), that most singers struggle to master and the vast majority of teachers don't know how to teach or identify. This allows the singer to access all of his or her range without strain. A student would begin to experience positive results within a few weeks of study, both in the studio and with practice between lessons.
One of the best things about this technique is that it allows you to sing any style of music. Whether you sing Pop/R&B, Rock, country, musical theater, gospel, or opera, you can experience vocal freedom and confidence that every singer wants to have. As a singer, I have had much success with this method, and as a vocal coach, I have found that this technique meets the needs of any kind of vocalist and/or style.
*** Studio Equipment ***
Superscope Recording System, Microphones, keyboard, large CD collection
*** Travel Equipment ***
portable keyboard
*** Specialties ***
marked as a Student Favorite have taught a minimum of 25 lessons and
have received the highest feedback rating from students.
I specialize in teaching the "Sing with the Ease of Speech" vocal technique which provides the students with a systematic approach to link together all registers of the voice-chest and head. Therefore, the students and I work together to build a bridge between the low and high voice, (through the break) combining those parts in the middle creating "the mix" that most singers struggle to master. This allows the singer to access all of his or her range without strain. The method can be applied to Pop/R&B, musical theater, opera, gospel, and any other contemporary singing style.
In addition, I provide life coaching for singers and musicians. This process involves helping you to identify your overall life goals and what might be blocking you from achieving those goals. Some of the major issues that singers face is making career and life choices that will balance with their artistic or musical goals, understanding their true motivations and intentions, having a realistic view and understanding of the recording business vs. the music playing business, and finding the time and energy to pursue your art while making a stable and rewarding living.
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subset: commoncrawl


text:
Cake or Pie?
Do you prefer cake or pie in general?
I'll keep my choice to myself for now.
A group of my friends have been having this debate for the past year or so. It broke down exactly 50-50 in our group and we have each introduced it into our workplaces or schools and it always seems to break down 50-50. There also don't seem to be too many fence sitters -- while almost everyone will agree they like both, there is always a preference and usually a really strong one.
We have tried various phrasings of the question:
Which do you like enough to eat a bad version of it?
For example, I'd turn my nose up at store-bought versions of one and have had slices of it I could not finish, but have never left a slice of the other on a plate no matter how bad.
The only rephrasing of the question that got people to change their answer was which is better: the best pie or the best cake?
That got a couple people who were pie supporters to say that cake could be better, it just never was.
So I open the floor to all you Chowhounders. Maybe an American dominated board will increase the percentage of pie supporters as compared to my friends in Toronto? We'll see.
Oh, and this will lead to other debates like is Cheesecake really a pie? And if it is called Gateau in French, does that make it a cake (i.e. Gateau St. Honore)?
Pie. I just can't get too excited about most cakes, and really only eat cake if there's ice cream, too. Pies, on the other hand, are completely different. Give me a fork and get out of my way!
Pie, but only good pie. I don't object to cake but don't get too excited about it. And they usually look better than they taste. I don't like either enough to eat it if it's bad.
Hello.. Great topic. I will always prefer pie to cake. I cannot easily recall a slice of pie that I've rejected, even when it's merely mediocre. Whereas, a mediocre slice of cake I will handily turn down after a few bites or even just a presumptive glance... I even like the generic individually wrapped 3-for-a-dollar 'pies' sold in the grocery store next to the single serving ho-hos and twinkies. The fillings on those single-serving pie/turnovers, especially the coconut or chocolate, are like pudding. How can you beat sweet dough-encased pudding for 33 cents a serving! Also, if I eat cake, especially layer cake, I must 'topple over' my slice on the plate; then I proceed to take the fork and tease each layer of cake/frosting free from their compressed original form and eat the cake/frosting layers separately. That way, say, with a single tri-layer cake slice, I feel like I'm eating three separate slices of the cake. Dividing the cake up in this manner makes me feel less sad as the cake disappears as I polish it off. Eaten in sections like that, I can better portion off my diminishing larder of goodness, then gird my loins for the inevitable moment when it's all gone :-).
I've never heard it put quite that way, but it hits the nail right on the head for me. Cake, definitely. I clean my plate even when it's bad.
Although, I think a previous post on Chowhound argued that men prefer pie and women prefer cake. I don't think the results were conclusive.
Cake cake cake. I can't even think of a class of cakes that I generally dislike, but there are only a couple styles of pie that I really enjoy (pumpkin, pecan, Boston cream). Basically, I dislike that warm, sweet, tart, goopy quality that berry or fruit pies have. Fruit should be cold and fresh, not warm and cooked. But that's just me.
re: Pei
Nope, not just you. I agree. I like apple pie because fresh apples are rarely jaw-droppingly transcendent, but most fruit pies ruin good fruit. Bad fruit, on the other, hand, ok, you can salvage it in a pie.
I'm forced to make pies, though, because the hubby likes 'em so much. Birthday pie, feh, but you take the good w/ the bad, yeah?
Cake is the winner. There is nothing more incredible than a well-made cake: it's too beautiful to eat, it's too delicious not to eat. Cake! And even a poorly made ugly cake at a kid's birthday party or the subpar supermarket shortening-frosted cake w/ neon superheroes galavanting equals "we're celebrating here" whereas a bad pie....it's inedible, it's ugly, it's....sad.
PIE. I don't like cake unless it's really good cake. Never really liked it that much, not even as a kid.
PIE! No question. I could go on for days about a really luscious filling married to a tender, flaky crust. I am rarely moved by cake, even when it's chocolate. Mostly because cakes are usually pretty but the flavor rarely matches the looks.
It probably doesn't help this discussion to mention that I've gotten marriage proposals from strangers after they've had my apple pie. :)
re: Kishari
Share your proposal-winning apple pie recipe, Kishari -- apple pie season is almost upon us!
re: WineWidow
Here ya go! My secret weapon is my 1965 Farm Journal Pie cookbook. Who knows pies better than farmer's wives?
Old Fashioned Apple Pie
From the Farm Journal's Complete Pie Cookbook
Makes one 9" pie
Flaky pastry for 2-crust pie
3⁄4- 1 c. sugar (based on the tartness of the apples)
2 TB flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp ground nutmeg (freshly grated if you can...it makes a difference)
1⁄4 tsp salt (kosher)
6-7 c. (2- 2 1⁄2 lbs) peeled apples, sliced 1⁄4 thick. (I only use Granny Smith...they're tart, not too sweet, and keep their texture when baked)
2 TB unsalted butter, cold and cubed
Flaky pastry for 2-crust pie (traditional method)
2 c. sifted flour (King Arthur if you can)
1 tsp. salt (kosher)
3⁄4 c. vegetable shortening (Spectrum Organic, or Crisco), if you're using lard it's 2/3c.
4-5 TB ice water
1. Combine flour and salt in mixing bowl. Cut in shortening with pastry blender until mixture is the consistency of course cornmeal or tiny peas.
2. Sprinkle on ice water, 1 TB at a time, tossing mixture lightly and stirring with a fork. Add water each time to the driest part of the mixture. Add only enough to be just moist enough to hold together, but not be sticky. (The weather/humidity will affect this every time you make pastry, you may need to adjust each time.) Shape dough into smooth ball with your hands.
3. Split into two pieces, and roll out the top and bottom crusts. Make sure the bottom crust is a little bigger to cover the pan and provide room for crimping. Here's my trick to make rolling out fast and easy...rather than rolling the dough out onto a floured cutting board, I roll my pie crusts onto floured waxed paper which I weight down in one corner. This way if there is sticking, it's easy to flip, control and maneuver. Sprinkle only enough flour to keep it from sticking to the waxed paper– too much flour will toughen the crust and throw off the fat/flour ratio.
4. Here's the other secret to flaky crust....be SURE to refrigerate the dough for at least 30 minutes before baking. You can consult Harold McGee on this, but it has something to do with the fat further separating from the gluten in the flour. I've made dozens of pies, my crusts aren't as flaky if I don't do this first. Refrigerate the pastry after one goes in the pan, the other stays moist in the waxed paper, then both go into the fridge while I make the apple filling. Then let them warm up to room temperature to assemble before putting them in the oven.
Pie filling
1. Preheat oven to 425F.
2. Combine sugar, flour, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Mix lightly through apples. Heap in pastry-lined 9" pie pan, you may need to maneuver some of the apples to fill up the holes and get as many apples in as you can. Evenly distribute cold butter cubes on top of apples.
3. After rewarming pastry to room temperature, cover apples with top crust, crimp and flute the edges. Be sure to cut vents in the top crust to let out steam.
4. Put a cookie sheet on the rack below the pie because it tends to bubble over with juice. Bake in hot oven 425F 50-60 minutes, or until crust is browned and apples are tender. I use an egg wash when there are 10 minutes left to go, just to get a richer color to the crust.
Enjoy. Don't accept marriage proposals from strangers unless they're really cute. PS. I'm a girl, and I vote pie!
re: Kishari
Thanks! I just bought some russets this weekend so I'm definitely moving into pie mode!
re: WineWidow
You're welcome. Let us know how it goes. :)
Cake for me, pie for my husband.A lthough we can never finish either one in the house, we always make sure we give it away. Although a good cherry pie does trump most cakes I've had and/or made in my life...
General rules of thumb (to which there are exceptions) :
1. Guys prefer pies. I happen to, too.
2. Gals prefer cakes.
I forgot to add the memorable thread on the best way to a man's heart, cake or pie (answer was dominated by pie):
re: Karl S
i think that is true!
I was going to write:
CAKE! All these votes for PIE is just crazy talk, I tell ya! Crazy!
re: Karl S
let's more chowhounds reveal their gender with their cake vs. pie prefs. obviously as the lizardqueen I'm a woman, and I've always been a pie person - give me my key lime, sour cherry, peanut butter, pecan, boysenberry and tarte tatin. I would even eat a pre-packaged hostess pie, but would never stoop to pepperidge farm cake! for the record, I can think of quite a few female friends who would vote pie right there with me. Liz
re: Karl S
fascinating -- in my experience men prefer cake and women prefer pie.
re: WineWidow
The generalization doesn't work for us either. I prefer pie (female) and the SO (male) prefers cake.
re: fickle
In our household I'm the pie-lover and my husband is an equal opportunity dessert eater.
Pie, any day. I'm not adverse to cake, mind you, but if there is a pie (fruit, pumpkin, sweet potato, custard) and a cake, I'll take the pie. I'll make a pie before I'll make a cake. I think I'll go make a pie right now, because I have to make a cake for a party on Sunday...
re: Elizzie
pie - and my husband agrees. One of my early sayings (my parents tell me) was that "Ive never met a pie I didnt like". Well, little did I know 'cause Mom was a champion pie baker. These days its rare I meet a pie I do like, but I still believe that the contrast of buttery/flaky crust and filling in a well executed pie can be soulful perfection. Cake can be very good too, but one can rarely find real american style butter cakes any more. All of the ingredient shortcuts and mixes have really wrecked the cake, and the euro-style cakes just dont have it.
Btw, since this is a general discussion of cakes and pies, any of you out there ever hear of Aunt Chick (Mrs. Samuel Pendleton (Nellie) McBirney)?
My mom just gave me her 1953 edition of "Aunt Chick's Pies", the pamphlet that turned my mother from a horrible pie baker (my maternal grandmother was a fabulous bread baker, but she apparently treated her pastry like her bread....) to the talk of the neighborhood. My brother tried making some of the recipes from an earlier edition from the 1930s, and found them to be superlative. Aunt Chick had an unusual method with pie crust (wasn't fussy about temps, and the crust was folded a bit, taking a hint from puff pastry) was also famous for her cookie cutters and for popularizing pastry cloths at a time when they were rarely used. The thing that has disappeared from the scene are her "crispy pie pans" that had wire mesh bottoms that let the heat directly bake the bottom crust and prevent shells from shrinking. My mom still has the cookie cutters and the "spatulator" that is a superlative thin, bevelled/angled metal spatula, highly flexible. We still use it all the time.
re: Karl S
My mom had this book too and I still have a bunch of the wire mesh bottom pie pans. My mom made the absolute best pies and I never saw her use a food processor or really cold butter. She always bought fresh fruit and made 6-12 at a time, then froze them for baking later or in the winter when we couldn't get the fruit.
re: Robert Lauriston
This may be the case, but I have a feeling it may be a fruit vs chocolate thing in many cases...god knows I love chocolate, but I always prefer fruity desserts,...esp cherry pie!!! And by the way, I am a pie-woman.
re: Robert Lauriston
Good point. Even when cake is bad, it's still pretty good. Can't say the same about pie - gummy fruit fillings or greasy crust.
I find a really great cake easier to make, if perhaps a bit more time consuming. (I mean for a frosted layer cake, which is my fave.) So, my vote is for cake.
Of course, I should probably mention I'm biased because I'm allergic to Crisco. I find that all butter pie crusts, while plenty tasty, don't have that fabulous flaky texture that 1/2 butter 1/2 shortening crusts do. I think the fact I'm missing out on the best crust affects my opinion. I've heard of palm oil shortening, but not tried it, so continue to be biased towards cake.<grin> I will admit that certain pies do make for a close second, though--molasses pecan and cherry come immediately to mind.
ETA: I should also mention that I'm talking about HOMEMADE cake. Most of what's available commercially is dreadful, as butter is so expensive. If you go with almost any recipe in Rose Levy Beranbaum's cookbooks, and use her method, it's hard to mess up a good butter cake. The texure is divine, so long as you take the time to bring the ingredients to room temperature, sift or whisk the dry ingredients until light, and let the layers cool throroughly before frosting. Oh, and do a crumb coat before frosting, letting it sit in the fridge for 30 minutes (but not much longer) before the final coat goes on. We eat with our eyes first! For God's sake, eat it fresh baked and do not refrigerate it. Invite your friends or neighbors over if your family can't finish it off, or refrigerate it overnight but bring it out before going to work so it can come to room temp before dessert time. Cold cake is so sad, even great cold cake.
re: amyzan
Before there was Crisco, there was lard, and if you get the old-fashioned natural product it makes a wonderfully flaky crust.
re: Robert Lauriston
I've been waiting for good lard to make it into more national distribution; despite obvious demand being created from below and above (food writers), there is resistence on the supply side, it seems.
re: Karl S
Put diced pig fat in a pan on a slow fire. Come back after a while and there's your lard. And some nice cracklings.
re: Robert Lauriston
Yeah, but I'm also allergic to pork. Boo hoo.
re: amyzan
That's probably the reason I don't do cake. It really only works for a gathering where it's going to be eaten at once. Pies are more forgiving, especially in cooler weather when I can keep them in my cold (cool) pantry.
re: amyzan
Whoa - this is the first I've heard of anyone ever refrigerating cake? Why would you do this? Why, why, why? Even if the family didn't finish it that night, why would you even consider putting cake in the refrigerator?
re: Marsha
Because buttercream frosting and dairy fillings may spoil under certain conditions, especially in the summer in many parts of the US.
re: Karl S
...or attacked by critters.
re: SunnysideUp
Karl S, SunnysideUp, I hadn't thought of either. I seem to remember leaving out cakes with buttercream frosting for days with no bad repercussions (I live in a moderate temperature section of California, and as I recall, these cakes were Christmas-related), but I get your point if whipped cream is involved. And the critters I've traditionally had to outsmart (my own dogs and cats) haven't yet figured out how to get into the oven, which is where I have always stored cakes until they were gone.
I'm on the fence. I don't like fruit pies, except for lemon or key lime. I'll eat lemon anything. And lemon cake? To D-I-E for. (this goes back to the "do you get chocolate?" thread)
But I love a good chocolate cake with a nice cold glass of milk or a good carrot cake. Our wedding cake was carrot cake, because it was the only thing that made perfect sense.
Cake, always cake, and any kind, I'm not picky. Cheesecake, pound cake, victoria sponge, swiss roll, wedding cake, Christmas cake, coconut cake (as for favorite recipe), etc.
Pie, on the other hand is only good sometimes. Pecan, pumpkin, and that's about it. I'll have the occasional pasty, but those aren't really pies.
re: TexasToast
Wait, cheesecake doesn't count. Just because there is "cake" in the name, doesn't make it a true cake...otherwise we may as well factor in crab cakes, and that just doesn't sound right...
re: prunefeet
Cheesecake and Gateaux count as cakes. At least they do until OP says that they don't.
In this country, PIE, hands down! I always asked my aunt to make me strawberry rhubarb pie for my birthday. but let's put it this way: bad pie is way better than bad cake. what is bad cake but flour and sugar? pie has that plus the natural goodness of fruit :)
i am a big fan of fruit and chocolate tortes though, like the pear and chocolate tarte combination..mmm. and chocolate flourless cake.
how about the best pies or cakes or those in between the two categories? key lime pie is sort of like a cake, cheesecake, custard tartes with fruit, rasperry and chocolate cakes...mmm.
I am also on the fence.
At first I thought I would have to vote for pie - apple, lemon meringue, key lime, really good home made cherry pie, Candy's pear mincemeat pie - ah, what could be better?
And then I thought about the nine-layer caramel cake I made last fall, tender, moist lemon cake, the wonderful (and pretty much irreproducible)hickory nut torte my husband made years ago and I realized that while pies have a more immediate flavor impact, cakes have so much more range and so many more possibilities that I will just take both, thank you.
Makes me want to get into the kitchen and start baking something right now.
I'd rather have a quickbread or a tart - denser, sturdier desserts. Usually less sweet, too.
But if I HAD to choose... Cake. I wouldn't eat a whole slice of bad cake or pie, but I'd at least pick at the cake.
Pie always pie. If I am forced I will make cake for other people but don't eat it except for the chocolate pound cake I have posted about. There is a moist rich densness to it that goes so amazingly with port or coffee that is wonderful. It has no frosting either.
Honestly, I'm an equal opportunity dessert eater. I don't really care if it's cake or pie but if I had to eat it prepackaged, then I'll take the cake but not really eat it too (more like nibbling).
pie...forever. i'd much rather eat (and sometimes do) a hostess pocket pie (aka a homerun pie) than some kinda hostess cake
as far as the good stuff goes i generally like a good fresh fruit pie-although i can be overwhelmed by an urge for pecan or lemon meringue
Definitely cake, but I think part of that comes from a preference for baking them as opposed to pie. But yeah, cake. I'm thrilled with the resurgence of old fashioned layer cakes, but I'm not picky.
re: junglekitte
I second the tart preference. I don't like American-style pies, as you called them, but a nice, sturdy tart...mmmmm
If I think back about the BEST pie I have eaten and the Best cake I have eaten I would have to say that the cake would win out if I only had one.
So cake is the answer for me.
I'm just going to have to say Yes. Really...it always depends entirely on what KIND of either one is being offered. If the choice is between apple pie and pineapple upside-down cake, I'll get the cake, but if it's between apple pie and angel food the pie is my choice. I have had transcendental examples of both: lilikoi pie on Kauai, a stunningly good chocolate pie in an Alaskan hotel, my own apricot tart; our astounding wedding cake, one or two very fine Black Forest cakes, my own various fruit upside-down inventions. If faced with any choice of any two, I'd simply have to take both!
re: writergirl
Hahahahahaha - I'm with you.
Pie, historically, is food, and therefore essential.
Cake, historically, is dessert, and therefore superfluous. Never mind frivolous.
No brainer.
Favorite: Mama Johnson's sweet potato pie, made with sweet potatoes grown right outside the back door by Papa Johnson. No better food ever known by any human.
Your pie-eatin' pal,
There's a jewish apple cake in my oven smelling up my house but good right now, but if you force me to choose, i choose PIE! PIE! PIE!. I have never eaten an entire cake in one sitting, but I have eaten an entire pie.
I grew up with a master pie crust maker for a grandma, and family gatherings always meant pie. Mostly lemon. I have had far more mediocre cakes and made a few transcendant pies in my life...cranberry apple, sweet potato, blueberry, apple, peach, mincemeat...oh I wish that were a pie in my oven!
My husband didn't hesitate...he's a cake guy.
re: Dave Feldman
no way! it's the opposite!
(everyone loves dogs and cake....a select few favor pies and cats. :)
re: Dave Feldman
it is the opposite, indeed. DH and I are both cat people and we're both pie people. Grandmama always made the best crusts (all butter) that my sister used to sneak into the kitchen as a kid and de-crust the pie whilst it was cooling. Ticked off grandmama no end. Sis always said it was worth it. I too like to make a bunch of pies while the fruit is in season and then freeze for later. Just got a bunch of peaches to make dessert for the weekend. Oh, no wait. That's for cobbler, a whole other thread!
Pie! without question! Nothing beats a farm stand peach pie in peak season.. but I'd even suffer through a Sarah Lee version because pie is just that good!
Cake is good too, and acake made well is a thing of beauty. but there are so many bad cakes out there...
I guess I'm going to h*ll for being a fence sitter, but I really like them both. It just depends on my mood. I'll eat bad pie if I'm in the mood for something fruity, and bad cake (Yodels,included) if I have a desparate craving. However, I'd have a hard time turning down peach cobbler at any time. Does that make me a pie lover?
Really, I'm just amazed that so many people can choose one or the other. Call me a fence sitter. Or call me the Dessert Queen, which is what my friends do.
Pie, the kind you only find sitting on the bakery doorsteps in Julian, California!
Bad pie is no better than dry cake, but I'll fork a slice of pie over even the best mocha six layer anyday...as long as its made the trip from Julian.
I too like both. And find that my fondness for pie has gotten stronger as I've gotten older. However, bad pie is just bad, I can't eat it. Most store-bought pies fall into this category. Fruit pies in particular, they must be homemade or from a high-quality bakery.
But bad cake, while not good, is still always edible...unless it's mocha, a flavor I despise.
I'm with chowmeow and lvecch -- I'm amazed that so many people are so definite about their choice. I love both. I tend to have a lot more cake than pie, mostly because pie seems to be kind of a special occasion dessert to me, much more so than cake. I tend to only make or have pie for either holidays or in the summer when there's a barbeque or something like that. But I have a lemon pound cake cooling in my kitchen right now that I made on the spur of the moment last night. Therefore, pie is a little more exciting to me, since it's a little more out of the ordinary (at least, in my life), and I've had a LOT more bad cake than bad pie (50% of office party cakes and 90% of all children's birthday party cakes). But a great piece of cake vs. a great piece of pie? You're just going to have to give me half a slice of each.
re: JasmineG
Yes, I have to admit, as a pie-eyed Chowhound, I was thinking of breaking into your refrigerator and stealing your lemon pound cake. But I've never been temped to kidnap a cat.
re: Amuse Bouches
AAAAAAAaaahahaha - you said DEATH first!!
To throw in another point of data - PIE! I'm European and female.
In America I love pie. Bad pie too.
American cake is so boring and plain. Especially the scary birthday variety (wedding cake isn't really any better). I grew up in Vienna, and there I would have said cake. But here, ew. Sooo not worth the calories, with a couple exceptions for really well made stuff.
My husband is a birthday pie kind of guy.
This reminds me of the scene in the movie Diner when the characters are debating Frank Sinatra vs Johnny Mathis and Mickey Rourke says:
So, I'm gonna say:
re: NeNePie
Easy, I would give up everything for cake, including my cats. See below.
re: NeNePie
I'm sorry, with that answer, you'll have to change your handle. Or change it to NePiePas.
Why not just ask me which one of my kids I love the most???!?!?! Both are delectable, whether it's a ho-ho or the finest 4-star restaurant apple pie al a'mode!!! (well,sometimes you do get a disgusting dry and tasteless cake from a bakery, so you're better off making a duncan-hines)
Woman, dogs, and cake.
I think a mediocre pie is better than a mediocre cake, though. For me it's the fruit fillings -- they just don't do it for me.
PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE- Even if it's one of those grocery store specials that is more than a day old is far better than any freshly made cake of any variety. My favs are pecan- my moms apple pie- any type of berry pies- lemon merange- lemon chiffon- pumpkin & pumpkin chiffon- custard- get my drift??? I will eat pie for breakfast, lunch & dinner (an have on more occassions than I care to remember!) I usually turn down cakes of all kinds (except cheesecakes) but would never turn down even the worse looking pies. I am a 50+ woman in case your counting gener/generations and I have both dogs/cats.
I too wonder why we must choose; I grew up in a house where the birthday boy/girl got to have the leftover b-day cake for breakfast the next morning, and where my mom always made enough pumpkin pie so we could all have some for breakfast on Friday, a tradition I carry on in my own household.
But if we must choose, I choose cake. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE pie, and tarts, and crostatas, and so on. Especially good fruit pies, made with fruit not cooked to glue or overy sweetened. A good lemon or lime is wonderful, but hard to come by. Pumpkin pie, mince pie, fudge pie, fresh fruit tarts, mmm. But if we must choose, I choose cake, preferably the kind I grew up on, the kinds my mother made - Good American butter cakes, the denser sort, rich European tortes, full of ground nuts and dark chocolate, marjolaines - and that I had from local bakeries, like carrot cake, Black Forest cake, Toot Sweets's Rum Mocha Savvana...
However, I won't take mediocre cake over mediocre pie, or mediocre pie over mediocre cake. Niether is worth it. I don't want goopy canned fruit pie filling, or gluey, too-sweet lemon meringue, pies covered in canned whipped cream or "whipped topping," or flavorless shortening crusts. Nor do I want supermarket or bakery cakes that are stale, spongey, super-sweet, taste of chemichals, and were obviously made from a mix. Or piles of icing made of shortening and pounds of sugar, carefully decorated by someone who took the Wilton cake decorating course (I was the child who avoided the corned slices of cake with the roses and scraped off the extra frosting from the birthday cake). I don't bother to buy or order if I don't have reason to think it will be well made.
Great pie or great cake? That would be tough but I'd still go with the pie, especially if it's warm fruit and has vanilla ice cream on it. Mediocre pie or cake -- then I might go with the cake.
This is gonna be obnox.
Peach Pie vs Rum Cake: Peach Pie Wins
Rum Cake vs Any Wedding Cake: Rum Cake Wins
Wedding Cake vs Chocolate Cream Pie: Any Wedding Cake Wins
Peach Pi vs Any of My Cup Cakes: Can'r choose, I'll eat 'em all and go to the gym!
Little Debbie Snack Cake vs Peach Pie: I'll say Peach Pie wins sionce I'll never admit to eating Little Debbie Snack Cakes in Public.
Peach Pie vs Apple Pie: What do you think...PEACH PIE WINS!
Yello Cake vs Chocolate Cake vs White Cake: YES! I do not discriminate.
Pies, Peach pie will always win!!!
Australian female dog owner here.
PIE PIE PIE all the way. I have never met a pie I didn't like.
Apple and cinnamon high pie.
Custard pie with nutmeg
Apricot pie with jam glaze.
**insert sound of heavenly choir**
And I class Cheesecake as a pie, as it has a crust and a filling.
My dream meal is to, one day, eat a real key lime pie.
re: purple goddess
Oh, purple goddess,
a key lime pie..mmm, yes, I had tasted many in my days growing up in LA and having fru fru chefs making "key lime" things..danced on a cruise ship for a while and had a few more key lime "pies" and they were good. THEN I spent 3 months guiding kayak tours in Key Largo and had some pies at some of the "touristy places" and they were even better but only as good as the ones in Miami and Ft Lauderdale...then, a local who had lived in Key Largo made a pie for us after a day of paddling....mmmm...oh golly, so tart yet sweet enough, and good and refreshing...never had anything like it since and it is a great flacor memory...mmm!
re: ArikaDawn
My wife always makes me a "Birthday Pie" My favorite being Rhubarb and fresh berries. I have one daughter who wiil eat pie and coffee for breakfast with me and another who thinks we are nuts. Hoorray for Pie!!!!


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Discover whether this highly valued specialty is your calling.
IF CRITICAL CARE NURSING intrigues you, consider what a day in your life might entail: As you enter the critical care unit, you see that it's going to be a busy day. You receive report about the patient you'll take care of today, Mrs. Walker, who's intubated, sedated, and surrounded by a tower of I.V. infusion pumps and other equipment.
After your initial assessment shows that Mrs. Walker is stable, you bring her anxious family to the bedside. Recognizing that the family is also your patient, you answer questions and provide information to reassure them while you continue to perform your assessment and provide care. You also ask a chaplain to visit to help tend to their spiritual and emotional needs.
In the blink of an eye, it's 9:00 a.m. and the healthcare provider team is expecting you to join them for multidisciplinary rounds. The team greatly values your assessment of the patient's status, and your opinion is crucial for developing a plan of care.
As the day progresses, many of your suggestions for Mrs. Walker are implemented, and you continue to see improvement. Eight hours into your shift, she's made so much progress that you can discontinue some of her medications. Keeping the family informed and providing a chaplain have helped to relieve many of their fears.
As your 12-hour shift winds down, Mrs. Walker continues to show clear clinical evidence of improvement. You begin to plan your report to the night shift, feeling a strong sense of accomplishment.
If this account of critical care nursing has piqued your interest, read on to find out how you can become a critical care nurse.
To move into this field, you'll need a strong desire to care for acute and critically ill patients, specialized education that includes skilled precepting and mentoring, and support systems within the clinical environment.
The American Association of Critical-Care Nurses (AACN) has a conceptual model that outlines competencies that are considered essential and reflect knowledge, skill, experience, and attitude needed when caring for acute and critically ill patients.1 This synergy model indicates that when patient and family characteristics are matched appropriately with nurse competencies, synergy occurs.
Taking care of critically ill patients is a huge but rewarding challenge. To take it on, you should be a detail-oriented person who can stay calm in an emergency and manage complex patient situations and patient care equipment. Along with these challenges, you must be prepared to care for patients in crisis, educate family members, and use excellent communication skills for interdisciplinary collaboration and patient care.
If you think you have the qualities needed for critical care nursing, make sure you possess the necessary clinical skills and knowledge.
Many hospitals have residency or internship programs designed to prepare nurses for a career in critical care. Speak with nurse recruiters at hospitals that interest you.
Although some are longer, most programs take 12 to 16 weeks. These programs are often geared to the development of new nurses, but experienced nurses seeking to transition into an unfamiliar critical care setting can benefit as well. For more about the types of units where critical care nurses work, see A range of possibilities.
Make sure to ask the right questions as you seek a program that suits your needs. Take the time to get a feel for the unit and facility. Look for a program that fits closely with your ideals and personality. Do you agree with the facility's nursing mission, vision, and values? Does it value certification, empower its nurses, and regard collaboration and education? Consider what kind of facility will be the best fit for you.
After you've completed the educational program and worked for a while, consider becoming certified. The certification in acute and critical care nursing (CCRN) offered by the AACN Certification Corporation is well recognized in critical care nursing as a mark of excellence. See Which certification is which?
Certification exams ensure that nurses have met entry-level knowledge and skills, are competent, and can provide the best possible outcomes for critically ill patients and their families.2,3 Research continues to demonstrate links between certification and better patient outcomes, greater nurse satisfaction, higher salary, more nurse empowerment, and many other positive outcomes.2-5
You'll need to work for a minimum number of practice hours to sit for an exam. While you're working and gaining experience, you can begin to prepare by studying and taking advantage of additional educational opportunities.
Next, you can consider the benefits of joining a professional organization.
Being active in your professional organization is a responsibility and a privilege. AACN sets the standard in acute and critical care nursing and in its educational programs such as the National Teaching Institute and through its advocacy and public policy work. Benefits of membership include practice, educational, and networking resources.
This is an incredibly exciting time to become a critical care nurse. Your skill and expertise will touch more lives than you can imagine. Critically ill patients need your compassion, skill, and knowledge to heal their bodies, minds, and spirits.
Some facilities have several CCUs that are highly specialized; others have fewer providing care to a more diverse group of critically ill patients. Specialized units may be focused on cardiac medicine, cardiac surgery, neurology, neurosurgery, burns, trauma, neonatology, medicine, or surgery.
Because medical-surgical patients have much more complex problems today than they did even a few years ago, elements of critical care nursing are also needed in procedural areas such as cardiac catheterization labs, electrophysiology labs, and interventional radiology. Many patients in progressive care units now have implanted devices such as cardiac ventricular assist devices that wouldn't have been seen outside the ICU in the past.
American Association of Critical-Care Nurses Certification Corporationhttp://www.certcorp.org
* CCRN: certification in acute and critical care nursing. Adult, pediatric and neonatal certification exams are offered for nurses who have achieved the designated number of practice hours in the appropriate setting.
* PCCN: certification in progressive care nursing.
* CMS: a subspecialty exam, which signifies knowledge in cardiac medicine, used with a certification exam such as the CCRN or PCCN.
* CSC: a subspecialty exam, which signifies knowledge in cardiac surgery, used with a certification exam such as the CCRN or PCCN.
American Association of Neuroscience Nurseshttp://www.aann.org/cnrn/certification.html
* CNRN: certification in neuroscience nursing.
1. American Association of Critical-Care Nurses. The AACN synergy model for patient care. http://www.aacn.org/WD/Certifications/content/synmodel.pcms?menu=Certification. [Context Link]
2. American Association of Critical-Care Nurses. Safeguarding the Patient and the Profession: The Value of Critical Care Nurse Certification. Aliso Viejo, CA: American Association of Critical-Care Nurses, 2003. [Context Link]
3. Twibell RS, Siela D, Riwitis C, et al. Nurses' perceptions of their self-confidence and the benefits and risks of family presence during resuscitation. Am J Crit Care.2008;7(2):101-111. [Context Link]
4. Kendall-Gallagher D, Blegen MA Competence and certification of registered nurses and safety of patients in intensive care units. Am J Crit Care. 2009;18(2):106-113. [Context Link]
5. Craven H. Recognizing excellence: unit-based activities to support specialty nursing certification. Medsurg Nurs. 2007;16(6):367-371. [Context Link]
For life-long learning and continuing professional development, come to Lippincott's NursingCenter.
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I have been asked to build a landing page with autoresponder SMS and therefore, need the validation to be very strict. Unfortunately I`m not a JavaScript expert.
The number should be limited to 7 digits and it should begin with a few certain combinations only, the combinations are as follows:
050, 044, 066, 099, 073


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