text:
As I said in my last email, I am truly dumbfounded by your response. I think that the phrase that really clinched it for me though was:
Affairs only happen in marriages where communication is not possible.
That is one hell of a presumptuous assumption to be making. Maybe that was the cause of my husband''s affair - but I am sure that there are plenty of marriages out there with good communication where affairs still happen (for all sorts of reasons). Finally, affairs happen because people make choices on how to handle situations that may not be ideal. I will not accept even 1% of the blame for WH''s choice.
At this point, I am comfortable saying that I will not be coming to marriage counseling again and will also recommend that WH seek a new counselor who may have a more reasonable perspective.
MC''s Response
Who asked you to accept blame for WH''s choice? That is logically impossible. Did you read my point about marital breakdown not being an issue of blame? That the only way , in your marriage, that you each know how to hear each other or to talk to each other involves blame ...and, blame is toxic and a dead end?
Your marriage is in crisis. Your family is at stake. I don''t need to tell you that. And, you remained fixed in your insistence that we approach the crisis as a question of blame. You are certain it is only an issue of blame, and WH''s choice and behavior is 100% immoral in your beliefs....and, so he bears 100% blame for both ...both...for his choice/behavior (where you are 100% correct) and for the crisis in your marriage (where you are quite incorrect). The second part is impossible because marriage is a joint enterprise and the dynamics that ensue (including cases of total breakdown in communication) happen in the space "between" two people. Two people with their own, distinct, and apparently incompatible subjectivities. There are two subjects in a marriage not just an "I".
You effectively demean yourself to reduce your self to "a victim" in your marriage. You are very much more than that. And, if you won''t let yourself be more than that in the marriage, then it is obviously over. There is no marriage possible between a all-responsible and all-powerful perpetrator and a spouse who is nothing other than a powerless and impact-less victim. Victims have no power, no depth, no will, no complexity, no effect on others. Truly. It is a horrible way to reduce a person...in this case yourself. WH lied and betrayed you continuously but he did not make you a victim. You insist on making that of yourself. For, if you insist that WH is nothing more than a criminal and you are a totally un-implicated bystander of an assault...then you will make yourself the opposite pole, a powerless and totally -reduced being that has become "victim" as the cornerstone of her identity in the marriage.
That path will mean that your marriage will end as I wrote you ...with you building a stronger and stronger prosecutorial case against an absolutely and 100% uncaring monster who you are certain has no capacity to ever learn to love . He doesn''t know how to love you, nor do you know how to love him. This is not engaging in any hope for healing, it is 100% adversarial. If you remain here ...then, you need to take this to a lawyer. For...you must agree...you cannot prosecute and sentence in your own case, as victim # so and so. You need lawyers to fight that case, and you will surely find a capable one willing to build the case with you.
In the end, you will have the pleasure of tremendous, righteous rage and of lasting bitter anger that can''t be metabolized. You will have missed an enormous opportunity to believe in yourself and in your marriage to grow and to heal. And, the children will undoubtedly suffer psychological consequences. Whenever there is this degree of animosity and polarization in the story of a marriage, the children will be more adversely affected than if their parents can find the resources to remain engaged in dialogue as adults in crisis, with professional help, even if they opt for divorce. They will have a monster as a father and a rageful and bitter mother. They will be forced to choose sides since the story is presented as having no complexity and no true "subjectivity"...their parents are reduced to just a two-dimensional victim and criminal. And the air remains poisoned with rage. This harms children, period.
If you insist on nothing else but this story of your marriage, a tale of all good and all evil, of all powerful and determinant and all powerless and victimized, you can never never re-construct a marriage...and here I mean, never....no matter how much responsibility/percent-culpability you could get WH to own and how much payment of damages you could extract. Victim and perpetrator will never be a marriage.
Indeed, I will retract "only" from the quote you highlight in your email. In a logical argument, one should never talk about "every" and "always". I apologize for that. The description about possible communication characterizes most of the couples who come to therapy, either after an affair, or not. That is what I can say without over-statement. Good call on that one.
I''m curious about your bafflement. You didn''t recognize any similarities between your marriage and the reasoning I laid out regarding a mutually encountered impossibility of understanding each other ? A marriage where the partners have been emotionally distant and disengaged for years a marriage of silences and avoidance a marriage with what seems/seemed like unbridgeable gaps in understanding the other a marriage with simmering rage and disaffection a marriage of hopeless feelings?
Of course you don''t have to return to see me, and I will respect that decision. I pledge to say/write no more. I have said my piece. But, if you both do decide that I might be able to help, then, I would be glad to remain involved as the couple therapist...as WH''a therapist if he so chooses...or, as nobody''s therapist as you indicate you are feeling right now.
Think a bit, BS, of the time and effort I have chosen to invest in these communications today and see if you can muster a smidgen of doubt about my true intentions. If I wanted to be an advocate and supporter of WH at your expense, would I need to communicate with you about what I see happening to you? Spend half of my day for research and writing (about the nature of subjectivity and about the issues around sex and fidelity in marriage) writing to you? I could bad-mouth you all I wanted in my office with WH alone if I wanted to take his side and incite him and if I wanted to try to influence in a direction so that the marriage has no chance. I haven''t sent WH any bcc of these emails. I have been talking impassioned just to you because I see you making your life worse. I came home from Shabbat services intending to try to follow the injunction to rest, because I don''t. And, I answered you because I am upset , BS. You can tell I am upset. But, you will probably be certain that my upset is animosity towards you, that I have malevolent intent towards you. If I felt animosity, BS, I would never give you my time and passionate entreaties as I have today. It is easier to give not a speck of energy nor a speck of valuable caring to someone you feel so critical of or so much animosity towards. That is also the case between you and WH, by the way. There is a ton of caring still invested and buried behind the rage. Maybe I am giving voice to the caring that neither of you can express towards each other. Or, maybe, you will think, I am an incompetent and arrogant ass who couldn''t care less about you? Probably what you will conclude. If so, that is a shame. I doubled down on my highly unusual means of trying to resuscitate this marriage....I''ve written you again and more impassioned. You will feel you know what I really am trying to do...to exonerate WH at your expense. You will think what you want. I have no more to say, finally.
[This message edited by Ivyivy at 8:45 AM, February 27th, 2014 (Thursday)]
I am surprised that this MC continues the email exchanges. For this reason alone I would look for another MC/IC. Email and text are, in my opinion, horrible ways to manage emotionally difficult discussions. There is huge room for miss-interpretation, there is little to no feedback on facial expression, tone, and body language.
I would have expected the MC to acknowledge your feelings and recommend that they be a point for discussion at the next session, or perhaps some IC with you to better get to know you before more MC efforts. I would not expect arguing with a client via email.
-- ats
Did you or will you post what your original letter to WH said?
I also do not care for how she says "you will react like this" or "you will think this" in essense, basically accusing you of having a certain response to her emails. It seems odd and unprofessional to me.
While he makes some valid points about needing to open lines of communication and work to make that better, if you husband is not working on whatever inside him allowed him to justify an affair, it will happen over and over again whether he is with you or someone else. If he stays with you, you will always fear another affair unless you feel safe because he's done the work on himself. It really doesn't matter if you forgive him if he hasn't done the work and considers the marriage at fault for his behavior.
His implication is also that a victim of a betrayal (not necessarily a crime) is incapable of being a survivor. It's either you decide that you are a participant in your betrayal or you remain a victim and that's completely illogical. I'd hate to see how he would counsel a victim of rape or any other crime since his insistence that by feeling betrayed, you continue to paint yourself as a victim and that it means you believe the perpetrator has no capability to change or improve. Humanity doesn't work that way. Feeling betrayed does not mean that you believe your husband can't improve. But his refusal to hold your husband accountable for the betrayal because he has excuses for it (notice I said excuses, not reasons) allows your husband to skate by without doing any real work.
It sounds to me as if your husband painted you as completely non-communicative and rigid in his IC sessions and the therapist had already given him a pass because of it. It does not sound as if he believes that the perpetrator of betrayal owes the victim of that betrayal (and yes, you are a victim of betrayal) any type of remorse. It's just pretend it didn't happen and move on or you stay a victim. That outlook is bullshit. Without seeing remorse from the perpetrator, it will be very difficult to forgive and without your husband acknowledging his betrayal and showing remorse, it will be very difficult for him not to continue to use you as an excuse for bad behavior.
The therapist is a sanctimonious dolt. Wonderful that he acknowledged that your husband is responsible for having an affair. Too bad it doesn't matter if he acknowledges it---only if your husband does and that isn't likely to happen as long as the therapist continues to move forward as if there is ever a good reason for an affair. It's not as if your husband cut you off in traffic. He betrayed you, risked your health, broke promises. If we owe someone we bump into an apology, why would we get a pass on betraying the person we were supposed to put above all others?
Dealing with the infidelity first will open you up to dealing with marital issues. Not the other way around.
[This message edited by Tearsoflove at 3:00 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
He seems to believe that you have cast yourself as a victim your entire life and you have doomed your M because of that. He does not seemed to be able to understand that you are a victim of your WS betrayal, just like someone who is mugged is a victim. Your WS ran you over with a mack truck and this guy is standing over your bloodied body saying "Don't be a victim." He does not seem to realize that before you can begin to heal emotionally, you DO need your WH to accept the blame of betrayal completely. This guy wants to skip over that part and start to work on the issues in the M before the A started, without recognizing that you cannot heal a M when one of the spouses is an unremorseful WS. Perhaps this guy is seeing regret in your WS and confusing it with remorse. They are not the same. I am only speculating here and I don't know what this guy and your WS have discussed. But I do know that if you sent the MC a list of issues you are still having, then WS has done little to address your concerns since dday. And to me, that means he is not fully remorseful.
The one thing that this guy said that I agree with is that I do think he cares. That does not make him any less of an idiot. I do not see 1/2 day of research in anything he said in this letter or the previous letter. He just seems to repeat himself over and over but using different words and sentences.
Cut your losses and go NC with this guy. If you are not in IC then I suggest that you find one. Allow your WS to work on his issues and work with your own IC to try to start to heal and save MC for a later date.
[This message edited by Dreamboat at 2:59 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
1) Way too emotionally invested in and worked up about you and your story. A good therapist would not be arguing with a client via email.
2) Completely wrong to be telling you he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt what will happen to you or your marriage (if you don't do what he tells you to do).
3) Still a really bad writer. As an academic myself (in the field, even), it is my personal belief that as the writing goes, so goes the thinking process. Rambling, disjointed writing = rambling, disjointed thinking. I don't believe for a second that this person is a serious researcher. If he is, someone else must construct his many journal articles about "issues around sex and fidelity in marriage".
4) Related to #3: uses a lot of five-dollar therapy "buzz words". They sound important and scary, but they really don't add much to his argument.
5) Is trying to manipulate you by bringing up your children. Think of the children, IvyIvy! If you don't come back to therapy with me, your children will SUFFER! You wouldn't want that, would you, IvyIvy?
6) Thinks a lot of himself and his powers of healing / prediction.
Also, I haven't gotten the sense from your posts that you perceive yourself as a victim, only that you are angry with WS (as you have every right to be).
Regardless, even if there are grains of truth somewhere in this opus, this person is at a minimum not capable of expressing them to you (or possibly anyone) in a helpful and professional way. For that reason alone, I would ditch this guy so fast his head would spin.
We have a habit in this country of treating mental health professionals as though they are all-knowing and all-seeing, but the sad truth is that in far too many cases they are just flawed human beings like everyone else, and there are many who are bad at their job. Even the good ones won't be able to connect with every client.
We all have a responsibility to ourselves to listen to that voice inside that tells us when a professional we have hired is not working out for us. There is absolutely no reason why you should ever stick with a therapist who patronizes you, who takes your WS's side, who writes you overly emotional diatribes, who only wants to work on your WS's dissatisfaction with the marriage when you are emotionally bleeding out all over his office floor, or with whom you simply don't feel comfortable. Move on, and please don't feel guilty about it. There are many other fish (mental health professionals) in the sea - shop around until you find someone who helps you cope instead of instigating self-doubt and grief.
[This message edited by TheGarden at 3:04 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and dont take any shit.
5) Is trying to manipulate you by bringing up your children. Think of the children, IvyIvy! If you don't come back to therapy with me, your children will SUFFER! You wouldn't want that, would you, IvyIvy?
Yes, I completely skipped over this. IMO, statements like that are very manipulative and borderline evil.
What he doesn't seem to understand that your marriage is in crisis from your WH's infidelity, PERIOD. That is what needs to be dealt with first and foremost. And, yes we are victims as BS's. We are victims from actions and choices that we had no say in but bear the most heinous of consequences. It does us no good to stay in victim mode, but we should be validated that we were victimized.
Pre A marital issues will be dealt with after the crisis of infidelity is beaten to death with a stick or until you, the BS, says "enough" you have all you need and are satisfied, for the most part, that your WS has truly "gotten" it and has owned his shit 100%. Then we move on to pre A marital issues, communication being probably a very important first step in that journey. Yes, they are fully to blame for their choice. There is blame. WS needs to accept the blame. Nothing in the marriage "made" anyone do something.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
And if he'd done any research - I dare say he'd have stumbled on the reality that some people deal with stress by cheating, some are self-destructing, some are looking for a high...
I don't know how long ago your Dday was, I'm assuming it is only recently that you learned of it or sought MC for it -- but your profile says it was a LTA... That is a huge blow!! Now if you'd been in counseling for a year and he was pushing this I might understand it, but directing you toward marital communication issues is like tending to your sprained ankle when you are bleeding out. And telling you that your only alternative is to be a bitter, divorced victim for the rest of your life...? Excuse me? This guy not only sounds arrogant but he sounds like a NPD asshole. And no - I don't believe he truly cares. I think he is more focused on proving himself right and you wrong.
NC - you've said your peace, walk away. He isn't going to be of any help.
Gosh - that letter pissed me off!
I have associates who work in the mental health field with varying qualifications - psychiatrists, psychologists, LCSW, etc. Not one of them would ever do anything like this.
Not all counselors are good. Some are just mistaken and some like this one are just off track. I had one that I went to many, many years ago that kept telling me that I needed to cut my ties with my mother and do my own thing.
It was laughable as I'd ignored both parents' opiinions on where I went to college, where I lived, etc. I figured that she had a major "mother" issue and had decided that all problems originated there.
At any point in time did you indicate that you thought the MC was *taking your WH's side*? Because that MC was just making way too many assumptions about you at the end -- "you will probably be certain that [he feels] animosity towards you" and that he has "malevolent intent towards you" and that you think he's an incompetent and arrogant ass and that you will feel that you know what he is really trying to do.
That whole last paragraph is SO FAR outside the bounds of professionalism that it's not even funny. There is something seriously wrong with that dude.
You will have missed an enormous opportunity to believe in yourself and in your marriage to grow and to heal.
As ats referred to in your other post, one person can be the greatest communicator in the world, but if the person *receiving* that communication has a fucked-up thought process that doesn't allow them to *hear* you correctly -- then it's not going to make a darn bit of difference......and because of stupid MC's like this one, YOU will remain in a 'marriage' that resembles more of a torture chamber than a safe haven.
In case you can't tell, this really pisses me off for you....
My T used to respond back to my emails and let me tell you if it was 2 sentences that was it....he basically was not going to have a "fight" with me by email although he let it be my way of 'venting' my thoughts and we would talk about it in our next session.
This T loves to spout a bunch of crap. Loves to be right and loves to make you believe they are helping you while running you around in circles.
A good T will wait until they have you back in their office and help you work thru things you felt you needed to write down.
Martial counseling is extremely difficult as you not only have to sort out the information of one person, but 2 people. Do you know what it's like to have a couple play the he said/she said game with you? Completely ridiculous and that hour is wasted trying to referee and create a line of communication.
I could rant on but will refrain from doing so. It's very hard seeing stupid names be tossed around at people who are not actively out to get you but may be misinformed for various reasons.
Affairs only happen in marriages where communication is not possible.
Well, that's sort of true for my M - my W simply could not bring herself to communicate with me. That's not an M problem - it's all on my W's shoulders. She accepts that, in part because that's what her IC, who is our MC, teaches.
This guy doesn't seem to realize there are several potential ways for the impossibility of communications to play out.
I think it's true that you need to move beyond blame. Your H can help you by acknowledging and accepting his responsibility for cheating. You can do that even without your H's help, but it takes some time.
I'm a big believer/user of Drama Triangle concepts, which I expect 'perpetrator' and 'victim' come from in his email. The trouble is, in betraying you, your H did act as persecuter/perpetrator. You are his victim. That's materially different from being in a DT, but it looks the same. This guy should see that, but he doesn't.
It's way too early to guess what you and your H will do. Still, the best way to avoid his outcome is to find a new C.
That indicates that he's dealing with his issues, not yours. I think that he cares and that he wants to help - it's just that WRT your issues he doesn't have the tools. I hope he recognizes that.
It probably would have been better if he had obeyed the Command to rest.
[This message edited by sisoon at 4:38 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
I think the MC projects all the potential bad outcomes of this situation straight onto your shoulders alone because you are the one not listening to them. They accuse you of having a victim mentality - and also accuse you of 'blaming' your husband - all while they are laying the blame on you themselves.
Personally I would ditch this counsellor pronto. Without question. I don't think there is any point whatsoever in more communication because they are totally inflexible in their surety that they are right.
I also wouldn't want my husband seeing them as IC any more either if I were you. While this person is influencing your husband as an IC I doubt that any other MC you try that has a different approach will be successful.
I actually found it interesting, and thought there was fodder for thought in there. I actually find myself thinking about the victim aspect a lot. .. And whether it is helpful for me to see my H as a perpetrator. I am not sure that, in the end, is a helpful -or even accurate--way to look at it, even though that is how it feels.
I know I'll get slammed here, but I actually thought the emails were thoughtful, and the counselor seems to care a lot about your case. I read this one a second time, and I'd suggest really trying to hear what he is saying. I don't think he is a quack....at all. I actually feel pretty strongly that he could help you if you'd let him.
Just my 2 cents.
[This message edited by bionicgal at 5:00 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
I edit, therefore I am.
I am a counselor, although not practicing, and while I have heard of others here using IC's as MC's, I never saw that as a good idea.
I'm right there with you. I'll also take it a step further and say unless you've got a good grasp on your clients as a MC and you are experienced, acting as both MC and IC for the same couple can be disastrous. And everything will be your fault.
ETA: I think that, in general, when a counselor serves as both MC and IC to one/both of the spouses, it causes terrible boundary issues. And this counselor clearly suffers from those.
ETA again: I'd lay money that this guy is a narcissist.
ETA again: PM me this guy's name and I'll let you know the quality of his "research."
[This message edited by solus sto at 5:14 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
I am also so icked out by the 'I could badmouthed you in WH's IC but i don't...I could bcc WH but I dont'. Um could you really do those things?! Are those even remotely on the table?! Why do they even need to be mentioned?! It is not taking the high road or something to refrain from those things--it should be the professional expectation!!!
Ugh just so strange and upsetting. Because what you really need right now is to feel attacked!? Honestly. I also haven't especially noticed you taking a victim mentality in your posts here; maybe you sometimes can lean that way IRL, I don't know, but I wouldn't have assumed this was your main mode from anything I've seen in SI. And people are usually pretty open here!
[This message edited by norabird at 6:34 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
He doth protest too much. If he really didn't have the viewpoint from the originally email it would take 3000 word to counterpoint it.
I will repeat from prior post FIRE THE MC, and as your spouses IC FIRE HIM.
My perspective on him from the texts and emails - particularly after reading the texts that he sent WH - was that he was acting not as a counselor but as an advocate on WH's behalf.
And yes, I would report this person. TOTALLY inappropriate. Just wrong on so many levels.
I'm in school right now to be an LCSW. This is just shitty.
My perspective on him from the texts and emails - particularly after reading the texts that he sent WH - was that he was acting not as a counselor but as an advocate on WH's behalf.
If I'm reading this correctly, he's texting your WH? Inappropriate. That should not happen. Be as angry with the counselor as you want for his own bad behavior but I'm curious as to what your WH said to him.
There was a post not too long ago bitching about how annoying it is to have counselors to be impartial in a case. You can't have it both ways. You can't have someone be objective and a cheerleader for you. This is how it becomes very difficult and why the client/therapist relationship can be very hard to navigate.
Nobody who tries to help you tries to tell you how you are supposed to feel.
Or, maybe, you will think, I am an incompetent and arrogant ass who couldn't care less about you? Probably what you will conclude. If so, that is a shame.
The fuck? Where did this moron fail psych 101? That's about as cliche passive aggressive as it gets.
[This message edited by StillGoing at 10:49 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
And this MC responded to you by chastising you. You did your list *wrong*. Your feelings are *wrong* and are going to lead to the destruction of the whole entire FREE WORLD!!!!
This MC's behavior is way outside the bounds of professionalism.
@Stillstings-- it seems that this post has made you stabby. Surely you can see how this MC is not *doing it* right. Everyone knows that there are 3 sides to a story -- my side, your side, and the reality. This MC doesn't seem to have even bothered to try to *hear* ivy or to try to understand what *her* perspective is. He's just jumped right in to (imo) blaming her. This therapist is pretty much re-victimizing ivy with his verbose emails.
So ivy. Have you spoken to your WH about not seeing this guy as his IC anymore?
@Stillstings-- it seems that this post has made you stabby. Surely you can see how this MC is not *doing it* right.
I've already said how this MC is being inappropriate and find their behavior to be wrong. I also have to say people LIE a lot whether because they are deceitful or because they're not ready for treatment. You think this therapy business is easy? It's not. We can only work with what is brought to the table. Many people lie or minimize. We are also very limited in what access we have in terms of intervention outside of harm to a child, elderly or disabled person.
People often fail in therapy because they don't provide us the information. Sorry if that sucks but it's the truth. If you want intervention, you've got to speak up and be honest. Don't lie or withhold. There are lots of laws in place too.
You think this therapy business is easy? It's not.
We can only work with what is brought to the table. Many people lie or minimize.
People often fail in therapy because they don't provide us the information. Sorry if that sucks but it's the truth. If you want intervention, you've got to speak up and be honest. Don't lie or withhold
You seem to be upset because MC's are being bashed on. But this MC didn't bother do do his due diligence to attempt to reconcile any *differences* in the stories. This MC sucks. All MC's don't suck and it seems that there ARE those who know the proper way to deal with infidelity situations.....but this guy ain't one of them. And I think that we can all agree on that.
How does a counselor work with one partner and invest so much time and energy with regard to that one side of the issue (s) and then turn that off to be objective on behalf of the other partner so that both will benefit in a maximum way from therapy?
This. Our MC (that we only used a few times since WH has no follow-through) would not even take me as an IC patient. He referred me to one of his practice colleagues (who is great btw).
The level of unprofessionalism of this MC is unbefuckinglievable. Fire this jerk. Now. And if at all possible, get WH to see someone else for IC.
[This message edited by Neverwudaguessed at 9:40 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]
I doubled down on my highly unusual means of trying to resuscitate this marriage...
For some reason - this is the language that sticks with me. It is like the cryptic discussions with WH. How can a therapist think that this type of email would in any way be helpful to a BS.
[This message edited by Ivyivy at 9:40 AM, February 23rd, 2014 (Sunday)]
It does us no good to stay in victim mode, but we should be validated that we were victimized.
I actually feel pretty strongly that he could help you if you'd let him.
How about validating and reframing?
What would you have done to validate this?
Stillstings, you are the therapist. What did you do with the OW? Did you validate her feelings and then try to reframe and redirect? I am hoping you didn't browbeat this OW by continually invalidating her feelings because that wouldn't be helpful, would it?
I didn't do that. I asked her what was she getting out of this relationship she'd been in for 5 years. I asked her to think about what it would be like to try and dictate a relationship with a person who may or may not be willing to play by her rules. Tell her to her face why she'd be the better mate and repeat all the things her husband said about her, she's too fat, she sucks as a cook. Would she also be prepared to not have her boyfriend leave his wife? What then?
That was the initial conversation. Next was delving into her past to figure out why she felt this was okay. She eventually started to realize how inappropriate this was. That was a conclusion she had to reach on her own. No browbeating. I was objective which I know so many people find to be obnoxious but you are not allowed to bail on clients and fire them.
Next was delving into her past to figure out why she felt this was okay. She eventually started to realize how inappropriate this was. That was a conclusion she had to reach on her own.
ivyivy's therapist isn't validating her or leading her to be able to make her own conclusions but is just telling her how wrong her feelings are.
I have a deep respect for therapists. I couldn't do it. I am too emotional. See, I would have laughed in the OW's face and told her to get her skanky ass off my couch as I didn't want OW cooties on it.
But, not all therapists are good. Plain and simple. Or, others are good in one area but not so good in other areas. That is simply a fact.
I can see where this guy is coming from but he doesn't express it well. If he needs to be fired it isn't because he's an idiot (or some of the other choice terms that get tossed around)but I feel involving the WH as a client individually was an error. I don't agree with seeing a couple individually for that very reason since one can influence the therapist more heavily than the other with very bad or good results.
Staying objective with one person is difficult. Staying that way with 2 people? Possible but even more difficult.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Do you mind me asking how you and your husband became acquainted with this counselor? Also, what type of counselor is it (psychologist, LCSW, etc)?
I actually found it interesting, and thought there was fodder for thought in there. I actually find myself thinking about the victim aspect a lot. .. And whether it is helpful for me to see my H as a perpetrator. I am not sure that, in the end, is a helpful -or even accurate--way to look at it, even though that is how it feels.
I know I'll get slammed here, but I actually thought the emails were thoughtful, and the counselor seems to care a lot about your case. I read this one a second time, and I'd suggest really trying to hear what he is saying. I don't think he is a quack....at all. I actually feel pretty strongly that he could help you if you'd let him.
I know I'll get slammed here, but I actually thought the emails were thoughtful, and the counselor seems to care a lot about your case. I read this one a second time, and I'd suggest really trying to hear what he is saying. I don't think he is a quack....at all. I actually feel pretty strongly that he could help you if you'd let him.
This is pretty close to how I felt as well. I thought the delivery was unhelpful because s/he was being passionate rather than clinical, which tends to spark defensiveness in the reader (and clearly has) but the content was important and actually really useful.
I had a fantastic IC, and this was her take home message as well: you can be victimized in ONE ASPECT of your marriage, but you are not "a victim" as that demeans you as a human being. If you look at a marriage as a zero sum game, the marriage can't be sustained. If you can never see anything other than zero sum after working very hard at it, then divorce is the only path.
I think the issue with that message is that the therapist is taking a very solid big-picture long-game view, and what a very new BS wants is the slice that comes in the days after discovery. You can't SEE that big picture yet because you're trapped in the moment. You need the ER, stop the bleeding type of care.
This is why an MC never seems to work in the early days after dday. An MC can do that kind of "stop the bleeding" on a marriage, but a marriage is, as this therapist said, not about the husband or the wife as polarized entities, but the space in between the two and the mutual places you inhabit. So if you want validation as an all-or-nothing, '100% victim in the marriage or I'm totally out of here', then the MC is pretty much not going to be of use. There's no room for an MC to work within that framework, just an IC (to get you to the point where MC might be an option) or a divorce lawyer.
Yeah, I get that the fact that the email was written passionately and personally made it unprofessional and I agree with that. I'd be put off if the relationship I had with my IC sparked that kind of emotion from her - but then I like my IC to be clinical because then I can be as emotional as I want without fear of dragging her with me. She was my "ground". But I also get that the therapist was trying to show you the big picture view (which if you're unable to see, you would be completely within your right and all reasonableness for your stage post-A) - to show you that there was a path and a plan, and the things you were focusing on had a reasonable place within that path.
To me I feel this therapist acting as an MC would be great for the marriage healing stage, which probably comes later for you in the healing process, if R eventually becomes your/your WS mutual path.
I can see where this guy is coming from but he doesn't express it well. If he needs to be fired it isn't because he's an idiot (or some of the other choice terms that get tossed around)but I feel involving the WH as a client individually was an error. I don't agree with seeing a couple individually for that very reason since one can influence the therapist more heavily than the other with very bad or good results.
I do not understand your personal stake in this and the defensiveness with which you are approaching things.
It's easy to see the good in things when you snip away all the nastiness. Taking away all the negative language and confrontational attitude leaves a space for discussion regarding the underlying motive and method of this therapist.
The email in the first post spent a massive effort in time telling her what she was thinking, feeling and seeing. There were a few if/then statements but I did not see any questions asked other than the aforementioned confrontations. "Who asked you to accept blame for WH's choice?" is an attack. Period. A reasonable communication of that statement is "I did not ask you to accept blame for your WH choice." It doesn't even need an apology or clarification. Asking that as he did sets it up so she questions herself, and he continues in that same vein the entire email.
I don't see where she portrayed herself as a victim. All I see is someone who behaved unprofessionally by chastising and defining a client, without ever once asking any questions about her feelings of safety, well being, continued therapy with other counselors, etc. He asked nothing that was not framed as an attack on her perception of the situation.
I will stand by my opinion that this man is either an idiot, or has an undisclosed motive.
Also, to speak to this directly:
While I know counselors may not give the best advice, I have to say this. You know what you are taught in Counseling 101? People lie. A lot. I've had clients get angry at me and say I'm not helpful only to come clean weeks later and admit they were not truthful.
Martial counseling is extremely difficult as you not only have to sort out the information of one person, but 2 people. Do you know what it's like to have a couple play the he said/she said game with you? Completely ridiculous and that hour is wasted trying to referee and create a line of communication.
I could rant on but will refrain from doing so. It's very hard seeing stupid names be tossed around at people who are not actively out to get you but may be misinformed for various reasons.
I have been in IT for 20 years now. At this point I am as high as I can go without becoming management, which I hate, so I am back in school to get a physical therapist certification and ultimately a degree.
Everyone lies. That's all there is to it. There are days where I spend hours working a simple issue because a professional colleague is being a dick in CYA mode and not giving up basic information. It could be something as simple as he is not qualified for his job and has no idea what he is doing, or that he made a mistake and took down an entire global trading network.
I started in end user tech support. I hear shit about support people all the time. You know what? A lot of support people suck. They deserve the derision they receive, when it's applied in specific. There are a lot of general comments that get stuck in my craw but people are going to be people.
If there was a sentiment regarding therapists in general in this thread, then I missed it. Most of what I have seen has been directed at the therapist for the OP.
Yes, sometimes I take hours to fix something, or bust it up even more, because of a lack of information provided by a client or the clients IT employees. It is frustrating, but I can't see how it would apply to, say, a thread in OT bitching about Savvis Tier 3 support.
[This message edited by StillGoing at 9:08 AM, February 24th (Monday)]
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
However, early on, isn't it natural when having been so severely betrayed and deceived to perceive oneself as a victim? There is nothing about this feeling that should be criticized.
This wasn't directed at me, but I have some thoughts on this. I don't think anyone should be criticized in therapy for any feeling they have (with all the usual caveats in place). However there are most definitely ways of looking at yourself that are harmful, and a good therapist will help steer you away from those self-representations while examining their source and the path you took to get there.
To me this email sounded like an attempt to reframe the victim role as one that shouldn't be embraced. In essence it said, "if you embrace being a victim, then this is the most likely path that this will take..." - which is true, and logical, and therefore I think needed a way more padded delivery than you got.
But try to remember that the things that piss us off the most are the ones we should look more closely at as we move forward. Sometimes it's a post on SI. VERY often it's something said, suggested, revealed or uncovered in therapy. Maybe the things we are upset by are just upsetting things - or maybe they are things that bear closer scrutiny as we find the strength to invest that energy.
Therapists say things that rub patients the wrong way all the time. I'm not sure I see anything in here that is "file a complaint" worthy, but that's me.
There is a ton of caring still invested and buried behind the rage. Maybe I am giving voice to the caring that neither of you can express towards each other.
This especially struck me. There is a ton of hope in that statement.


text:
will ferrell
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GQ Men Of The Year - The GQ Men of the Year: Andy Samberg on Working with JT
Our 2013 Wiseass of the Year discusses the honor and working with Justin Timberlake at GQ's Men of the Year party in Los Angeles read more
November 2013
GQ Men Of The Year - The GQ Men of the Year Party: Aziz Ansari on Being a Southern Gentleman
The comedian explains what it's like being raised with Southern manners at GQ's Men of the Year party in Los Angeles read more
November 2013
GQ Men Of The Year - Rapper of the Year: Freestyling with Kendrick Lamar
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November 2013
Men of the Year
Introducing GQ's Men of the Year 2013
See the cover stars of our annual awards issue, starring Matthew McConaughey, Will Ferrell, Justin Timberlake, Kendrick Lamar, and James Gandolfiniread more
The GQ Eye: GQ on Style
5 Best Celebrity Looks from Last Night
Thom Browne, Johan Lindeberg, and Pharrell bring fashion forward cool to the 2013 Innovator Awards, while Will Ferrel keeps things a little more serious in a brown two button suit.... read more
Thursday, 11/7/2013 at 11:30AM
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Two, Yes TWO! New Anchorman 2 Trailers—Try to Remain Calm
Today for some glorious reason, we woke up to not one, but two new trailers for Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues. That's just too much good news to handle. In the first trailer (or... read more
Wednesday, 10/23/2013 at 1:41PM
How to Be a Man - How to Be the Best with David Koechner
To be the best, you better learn from the best; thats why Jason Nash turned to David Koechner to show him the ropes. But when a young man claiming to be Koechners son shows up, Koechner may have more than one lad to teach. read more
September 2013
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Ron Burgundy's Assault on All Media
You've probably heard the news by now that legendary anchorman Ron Burgundy will publish his tell-all memoir titled Let Me Off At The Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings, but did you also... read more
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Ron Burgundy Tackles the 80s in The New Anchorman: The Legend Continues Trailer
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Wednesday, 6/19/2013 at 1:40PM
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The Legend Continues: Watch the New Anchorman 2 Trailer
"Jesus. MacArthur. Jay Z. The great ones always return, and when they do, one thing is for sure: their hair will be perfect." Yes, faithful readers, Ron Burgundy is back, and he's bringing the... read more
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- Suited, Booted and Silver: Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant Open the Season in Style
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subset: commoncrawl


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Snorkel to Adventure
- 3 Day(s)
- Trip Code : COCSTA
Escape into the big blue beyond. Go Down Under at the world's premiere underwater playground, the Great Barrier Reef. See the flora and fauna that call this natural wonder home, which is exactly what you'll do for the next 3 days as you snorkel your way around magnificent coral formations before returning to dry land. Haven't had enough? Check out the Rainforest Adventure tour and stay on solid ground for four days of tropical exploration.
Call 800-781-4040


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Idaho Vandals (2-7)@
San Jose St. Spartans (3-6)
Saturday, November 05
Spartan Stadium
Attendance: 10,621
Game Leaders
13/20, 162 yds, 1 tds, 1 int
29/41, 289 yds, 1 tds, 0 int
19 car, 163 yds, 2 tds
16 car, 38 yds, 1 tds
4 rec, 65 yds, 1 tds
11 rec, 84 yds, 0 tds
San Jose, CA (Sports Network) - Kama Bailey ran for 163 yards and two touchdowns as the Idaho Vandals bounced back to capture a 32-29 win over the San Jose State Spartans in a Western Athletic Conference bout at Spartan Stadium.
Bailey ran the ball 19 times as the Vandals (2-7, 1-4 WAC) snapped a six-game losing streak and picked up their first win of the season over another school from the Football Bowl Subdivision. Quarterback Taylor Davis converted 13- of-20 passes for 162 yards and a score, but was intercepted once and was taken down for five sacks.
The Spartans (3-6, 2-3) were paced by Matt Faulkner who connected on 29-of-41 passes for 289 yards and a score in the losing cause. The defeat was the second in a row and the third in four outings for SJSU.
San Jose State set itself up for what should have been an easy victory, racing out to a 20-0 advantage. Kicker Jens Alvernik knocked through field goals of 19 and 26 yards during the run, while Brandon Rutley added on a three-yard TD run and Tyler Ervin scored from 11 yards out.
Idaho responded at the 9:03 mark of the second quarter when Bailey reached the end zone on a two-yard run.
Later in the period SJSU record a safety to make the score 22-7, but Idaho refused to go quietly into the break as Trey Farquhar knocked through a 55- yard field goal as time expired to bring the visitors to within 12 points at 22-10.
Following a scoreless third quarter Idaho erupted for three straight touchdowns, the first coming on a three-yard run by Bailey. Davis locked up with Mike LaGrone on a 13-yard TD pass with just under four minutes remaining, followed by a one-yard TD run by Ryan Bass to make the score 32-22.
The Spartans managed to move the ball 76 yards in just 41 seconds, culminating with a 47-yard TD pass from Faulkner to Ryan Otten, but it was too little, too late.
SJSU, which entered the week averaging just 114.9 ypg on the ground to rank 103rd nationally, managed to produce a mere 68 yards on 25 attempts on the day.
Referee: Bill Athan
Umpire: Sal Failla
Head Linesman: Vern Sparling
Line Judge: Mark Duddy
Side Judge: Brian Beck
Back Judge: David Baldwin
Field Judge: Justin Jordan


text:
This bank has been trying to destroy our business account since day one.
They charge twice for one over draft, they make online banking set up and management impossible.
They have the worst customer service I've ever seen!
When you try to call in to speak to a person you need a third pin that is different from the rest.
They've cost us 100's in fees due to their shady practices and not showing transactions on the account until weeks later.
I commiserate with Ben Bernanke. I don't know his details, but I do know mine. I thought it'd be a no-brainer.
Consider this:
- I do all my banking with PNC and have done for years.
- I am a PNC Wealth management client, which means that I have "special" relationship. It also means that they have every detail of my finances with them.
- My home mortgage is with PNC and I paid off a significant amount of the loan off with already.
- My outstanding home loan amount is about 60% of the appraised value of my home.
- My credit score is 831.
- I applied for a home equity loan which is about 11.5% of my home's value (well within the home's equity). It also happens to be about 10% of my annual income according to the tax returns submitted to them.
With these parameters, I expected a smooth sailing, right? Of course not. They want profit loss statements from my business interests, investment reports including retirements, real estate deeds, some stuff I have never even heard of and did not even know where to get them from. More absurdly, they have most of what they are asking already with them , since they manage my wealth portfolio!
I gave up and withdrew my application frustrated and of course am reevaluating my relationship with PNC as a whole. The obvious question my brother-in-law asked me was why did you apply for a loan in the first place for such a small amount? For a stupid reason that I would get a loan with low interest that is tax deductible and the mistaken assumption that it would be a breeze to get one.
Well, I am just paying for the home improvement with cash, which I should have in the first place..
I have banked with all major banks over the last 50 years and i work in the lending industry! PNC mortgage is a complete joke and lie to their customers about rates, options, and do not disclose information vital to customers well being. Stay away at all costs.! You are much safer with BoA, Chase, 5/3!


text:
Fat Saudis To Make Everything More Expensive
A SAUDI prince with 14 Rolls Royces and a boat the size of a hospital last night decided to put you out of work because he doesn't have enough money.
Jaguar To Keep Making Cars No-One Can Afford
THE government is lining up a multi-billion pound bail-out for Jaguar so it can keep making absurdly expensive cars that do 12 yards to the gallon.
Barclay Brothers To Move Private Island To Maldives
THE billionaire Barclay twins are to move their private island from the Channel Islands to the Maldives due to a combination of being in a huff and tax reasons.
UK To Boycott All German Goods, Except Cars, Beer, Kitchen Appliances, Adidas And Kinder Surprise
UK consumers last night pledged to buy British, unless there was an obviously superior German alternative.
Woolworths Filled To The Rafters With Crap After All
BRITAIN'S sentimental attachment to Woolworths evaporated rapidly yesterday as millions of bargain hunters discovered it really is a brightly lit warehouse filled with cack.
You Are No Better Than A Frenchman, Markets Tell Britain
THE people of Britain may as well sit round all day leering at women and eating pigs' testicles, the international currency markets said last night.
Other Authors Tell Rowling To Piss Off
JK Rowling was last night told to 'just piss off' by a group of fellow writers hoping to sell some books this Christmas.
Nationalised Banks To Pay Government Fines With Taxpayers' Money
BANKS controlled by the public which do not lend the public money will have to pay a fine using public money.


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Marc USA
"Great! "
- Senior Management
- Culture & Values
I worked at Marc USA as a contractor
The company is very good about sharing information with its employees. I was a contractor, so I did not attend these meetings but they were popular meetings to attend.
A small number of employees did not work as if they understood the urgency of meeting a deadline, and providing the status of their efforts towards that deadline.
14 Other Employee Reviews for Marc USA (View Most Recent)Sort: Rating Date
I worked at Marc USA full-timePros
Great people great work in a competitive but non-threatening environment. Pittsburgh based with a very low cost of living.Cons
At times this place feels like a boiler room. Competitive deadlines that are challenging to meet for the staff.Advice to ManagementAdvice
Higher more talent to manage the workload.
1 person found this helpful
I worked at Marc USAPros
You'll get big ad agency experience, exposure to high profile clients and access to multiple functional disciplines (AEs, creative, production, writers, graphic design, etc.).Cons
Not much opportunity for innovationAdvice to ManagementAdvice
Embrace newer advertising/marketing strategies/toolsDoesn't Recommend


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Happy Halloween Costume Contest!
Schedule of Events Date: 10/23/2014 Thursday
We will have raffle prizes such as TV's and other great raffle prizes.
Sponsorships are available...
Dress up this year and receive 2,000 extra chips as a participant. Prize will go to best costume!
If you do not play and would like to come and watch, register as a " Non-Player" Your fee will include your dinner and drinks.
Location is at CATI training center donated by Jessica Hamilton and U.S. Adjusting Services.
3109 Skyway Circle North Irving, TX. 75038


text:
Game Questions & Answers (Q&A) service lets you ask questions about video games for game consoles or PC games. So ask your My Horse question for Android and get answers from real gamers or answer questions and share your insights and experience with the rest of the gaming community.
- Developer: NaturalMotion
- Publisher: NaturalMotion
- Genre: Miscellaneous Edutainment
- Release Date: Sep 15, 2011
- ESRB: Not Set
Question & Answers
Answer from: dutchmike
When you scrol to the right from Basic Feed, you see Alfalfa Mix etc. They have 3 ingredents, so 3 bags.
Answer from: Crazy Horse
Hi Sarah, it is a known game glitch on certain phones and systems. they haven't fixed it yet. It's a pain because all those horses must be pretty hungry by now!
Answer from: laurs2001
It happens on my phone too :-( I hope they fix it soon
Answer from: Nick
You can feed then but theres point which are not shown. So, keep searching the points (If you want). My name is NickWright please add me on the game.
Unanswered Questions
From: dentedentist
Posted on: 04-14-2013
Ichi Game - Official Launch Trailer
- Oct 14, 2014, Views: 9
I'm Aquarius - Official Launch Trailer
- Oct 14, 2014, Views: 15
I Love Pop Culture - Official Launch Trailer
- Oct 14, 2014, Views: 15
Flow Free - Official Launch Trailer
- Oct 14, 2014, Views: 16
- Madness TD 2: Tower Defense, (Android)
- Second Earth, (Android)
- Train Sim Pro, (Android)
- FullBlast, (Android)
- Titan Empires, (Android)
- Dragon Warlords, (Android)
- Mafia Racing 3D, (Android)
- CITY RACER 3D, (Android)
- Drift Racing 2015, (Android)
- SIM EXTREME FLIGHT, (Android)
- Kim Kardashian: Hollywood - Gameplay, (iPhone-iPod)
- Episode: Choose Your Story - Gameplay, (iPhone-iPod)
- How To Train Your Dragon 2 - Ready To Fly Trailer, (Wii)
- The Settlers - Kingdoms Of Anteria - Announcement Trailer, (PC)
- Entwined - Quick Look Trailer, (PS3)
- Blue Estate - Official Launch Trailer, (PS4)
- Goat Commando 3D Simulator - Gameplay, (iPhone-iPod)
- Munin - Official Launch Trailer, (iPad)


text:
Camcorder flashlight ready for nighttime YouTube shoots
Security gadget company Swann has created the ultimate piece of hardware for the night watchman or the budding nocturnal YouTuber: a torch with a built-in video camera. FlashlightDVR Swann's FlashlightDVR: light up evening videos Dubbed the FlashlightDVR, this chunky torch has an integrated 640 x 480 senor and a 66° …
This topic is closed for new posts.
Rodney King
Cool, issue these to LAPD so they can film their roadside beating antics
Sorry, but the word you're looking for is "torch".
Its easy to work out the UK price... Just remove the '$' sign and replace with a '£' sign. Job Done
This topic is closed for new posts.
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10/31/2014 06:30 - 08:30
Halloween FREE Concert!!
The Colin Huntley Band will be performing a FREE concert at The Churchill Farms Halloween Block Party at the 400 Block of Preakness Place.
The Colin Huntley Band will be performing a FREE concert at The Churchill Farms Halloween Block Party at the 400 Block of Preakness Place.
Come out to this amazing Venue and hear a plethora of Talented Musicians and Singers. Tickets are $15 and the proceeds go to Tunes for Tots Charities. ALL AGES!!
Live Performance at the Best Live Music Airport in the World!!
The Band is performing Pre-Game and at Half-Time at the GAME!! This is a Matinee Game. Call Cedar Park Center and get your Tickets NOW!!!
October 28,2014 – Featured artist on this online magazine. Check it out at the link here http://versedonline.com/v2/featured-new-music-colin-huntley-best-i-never-had/
October 28, 2014 – Really nice interview and layout in this months VENTS MAGAZINE. Follow the link and check it out on page 24 http://ventsmagazine.com/magazine/
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October 8, 2014 – Hollywood Music In Media Awards announced today final nominees in the Music In Media Categories. Colin Huntley's music video "Best I Never Had" was one of …


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Barnes & Noble: Gone by New Year's?
If anyone gives you a Barnes & Noble gift card, be sure to cash it in by the end of the year.
This may be the last year that Barnes & Noble bookstores remain open.
It's bad news for people who
- Written by Michael Levin


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Flamingo or Palm-Tree Luminaria Kit
- Set of 4 lanterns
- Illuminate walkways or patios
- Perfect for outdoor events
- Includes four durable bags printed with a tropical design
- Uses plastic Lumabase bases that hold candles securely
- Safer and cleaner than sand-based luminaria
- Plastic bases are reusable
- Dimensions: 5.9"x3.5"x11.2" each
- Weight: 7.8 oz each
How to get your goods: by purchasing this Groupon and providing your name and shipping address, your order is complete!
For questions pertaining to this deal, please visit the deal Q&A on this page. For post-purchase inquiries, please contact Groupon customer service.
View the Groupon Goods FAQ for additional information.
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In a Nutshell
Set of four paper-bag lanterns emblazoned with tropical designs use a unique plastic base that's safer and cleaner than sand
The Fine Print
Limit 3 per person, may buy 2 more as gifts. Free returns. Does not ship to AK/HI/Canada/Puerto Rico. Most orders are delivered within 12 business days from the purchase date. Does not ship to PO boxes. See return policy. Must pay applicable tax and provide name and shipping address at checkout, which will be shared to facilitate shipping. Goods sold by Groupon Goods.


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|Wilderness Tripping - BWCA & Beyond
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Slate Islands
Posted by: adeanast on Nov-28-12 6:23 PM (EST)
We went to the Slates this past summer - great trip, great water, great camping. This is a good 3 or 4 day outing. We hired a water taxi to get us over to the islands...not brave enough for the open cross.
Canoe / Kayak Anchors
4-place Boat Trailer
Dry Tops
|Table of Contents


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Mobile payment platform provider Billing Revolution is changing its name and working with some new high-profile partners. The payment start-up announced it has relaunched as Buck and will be providing its new single-click credit card checkout to mobile commerce provider SpyderLynk, social gaming network Papaya Mobile and credit card processor Braintree.
Buck provides what it calls "a mobile express checkout lane for merchants and consumers." Basically the service lets users enter their payment data once so it's remembered across sites and platforms the next time they go to purchase a good or service. Once the information is entered the user is a member of the "Buck network" and is recognized by any merchant using Buck, effectively turning the device into a digital wallet. That's especially handy on mobile devices, where re-entering payment credentials, addresses, etc. can be maddening on a small screen (or when wearing mittens).
"Buck offers a purchasing experience like Amazon, for everyone, all while delivering merchants twice the conversion of other checkouts at half the price," said Andy Kleitsch, co-founder and CEO Buck.
Kleitsch said that with Buck, merchants remain in control and no longer need to pay the outrageous fees imposed by Apple and Google. He said it enables merchants to safely and securely process transactions across their own merchant account at much lower rates and receive immediate payment.
Apart from being easy to use, Buck said its single-click checkout meets all the same requirements expected from any financial institution including PCI Level 1 compliance and bank-grade device fingerprinting and fraud prevention.
Topics: Gaming , In-App Payments , Mobile/Digital Wallet , Online Purchasing
Apple Pay: A short-term wallet plan for 500 banks?
MasterCard, Zwipe team up to roll out first-ever biometric contactless payment card
Optimal Payments hits the UK and Ireland with mPOS products
Harbortouch adds Apple Pay to pay-at-the-table app
Live Webinar: How operators can seize the carrier billing opportunity
Live Webinar: There's more to mobile payments than payments: engaging your customers in the age of the new mobile wallet
Mobile Payment 2015 [infographic]
Top Tips and Techniques for Holiday App Marketing
Live Webinar: There's more to mobile payments than payments: engaging your customers in the age of the new mobile wallet
ATM - Mobile Integration Guide: Strategies for Successful Omnichannel Banking
Interactive Kiosks: Reprogram Customer Engagement
© 2014 Networld Media Group All rights reserved.


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Local Bands Getting TV, Film Exposure
By Alison Babka
The 6 Best Places to Drown Your Sorrows
By Nick Horn
An Oral History of Apop Records
By RFT Music
Why I Won't Like Your Band on Facebook
By Drew Ailes
Kentucky Knife Fight Calls It quits
By Bob McMahon
Bob Pollard Sings Euclid's Praises to Playboy
By Allison Babka
By Kelsey McClure
By Carolina de Busto
The song begins simply: A kick drum beats like a heart in a panting chest, one guitar sweats out one note, another plucks a rudimentary figure. "We never walk in the light," begins a worn, used-up voice. "There's something hiding for us in the night." The band behind the song, the Wooden Sky, emerges slowly from the sonic shadows, but when it does — on an ecstatic refrain that suggests an indie-rock equivalent of Jackson Browne's "Late for the Sky" — the voices and spare instruments exalt the shadows as one. "Something Hiding for Us in the Night," the standout track from 2009's If I Don't Come Home You'll Know I'm Gone, suggests that these Canadians aren't just moody folk rockers. They're a vigorous, quietly ambitious, musical force.


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WA Delegate: None.
Founder: The Constitutional Monarchy of Queen Lizzie
Embassies: Guardian Network.
Tags: Minuscule.
Britain is home to a single nation.
Activity • History • Administration
Today's World Census Report
The Best Weather in Britain
The following nations were determined to have the best all-round weather.
As a region, Britain is ranked 15,790th in the world for Best Weather.
|WA Category
|The Constitutional Monarchy of Queen Lizzie
|Iron Fist Consumerists
|"This is the spawning of the cage and aquarium."
Regional Happenings
- 27 days ago: The Republic of Political Wisdom of the region Future America proposed constructing embassies.
- 38 days ago: The Holy Empire of Ganjarnia of the region Conglomerate nations of ganjarnia proposed constructing embassies.
- 103 days ago: Ulster empire departed this region for The official united kingdom.
- 112 days ago: West and east midlands departed this region for The official united kingdom.
- 112 days ago: West and east midlands arrived from The North Pacific.
- 115 days ago: Ulster empire arrived from The North Pacific.
- 163 days ago: The United Federal Government of Of Herbshire of the region Federation of Herbshire proposed constructing embassies.
- 171 days ago: The Badlands Beyond the Brink of The Bizarre of the region The Illuminati proposed constructing embassies.
- 183 days ago: Seafor land departed this region for Geopolity.
- 187 days ago: Seafor land arrived from The region of great britain.
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Ajayi leads Boise State past Fresno State, 37-27
BOISE, Idaho (AP) Jay Ajayi ran for 158 yards and two touchdowns, including a 54-yard run on Boise State's clinching drive in the Broncos' 37-27 victory over Fresno State on Friday night.
Boise State (5-2, 3-1 Mountain West) avenged a 41-40 overtime loss to the Bulldogs last season to claim the Milk Can rivalry trophy. Fresno State (3-5, 2-2), winless in Boise since 1984, squandered Marteze Waller's 164-yard rushing performance.
Grant Hedrick completed 21 of 30 passes for 190 yards and a touchdown, caught the go-ahead scoring pass and ran for 56 yards for the Broncos.


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Petalofstone • view forum - candydoll & modeling, Who is online. users browsing this forum: bing [bot] and 0 guests. Patti's ratties - primitive wynter gathering snowman, Welcome to ~ patti's ratties ~ we offer primitive patterns, finished dolls & bears. also home décor, antiques & collectables. :o) --- be sure to add me to your. U-15 天堂, U-15 天堂. by: bral 要购买本相册的套图,请联系qq: 763858 if you want to buy those photo sets, please send mail to [email protected] My christa renz makeup from shingeki no kyojin, My camera quality very bad + i dunno how edit video (coz this is my first makeup video)==but hope you all like it~ sorry if you dun understand chinese.


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Silver Silver Jewels Teenmodeling Tv | Girls Room Idea
Jewelry: Buy Quality Jewelry Online | JTV
Shop Jewelry. Enjoy another day in jewelry paradise at JTV.com! Choose from thousands of sparkling styles in our extended assortments and window shop without ever ...
- Wed, 15 Oct 2014 07:38:00 GMT
Read More about Jewelry Buy Quality Jewelry Online JTV
Dogeared, Inc. | Jewelry handcrafted in the USA
The official site for Dogeared necklaces, bracelets, rings and earrings. Free Shipping on all orders. Handcrafted in the USA. Dogeared
- Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:07:00 GMT
Read More about Dogeared Inc Jewelry handcrafted in the USA
Gems TV - Gemporia | Live your legacy
Watch Gems TV LIVE on Sky Channel 655, Freeview Channel 43 or streamed live on our website Gemporia.com
- Mon, 13 Oct 2014 11:15:00 GMT
Read More about Gems TV Gemporia Live your legacy
Qin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Qin may refer to: Contents 1 Dynasties and states 2 Geography 3 Surname 4 Musical instrument 5 Other Dynasties and states Qin (state) (秦), a major state during the ...
- Mon, 13 Oct 2014 11:51:00 GMT
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Vintage Costume Jewelry Designers -Information, Marks, and ...
History of jewelry companies old and new, marks, designers, and links so you can learn about your jewelry.
- Wed, 15 Oct 2014 07:24:00 GMT
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NXNE | Schedulizer - NXNE
June 17-21, 2015 | Toronto, Canada Music+Culture+Tech Schedulizer. Create Your Own Schedule
- Mon, 13 Oct 2014 17:13:00 GMT
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Used Other Household Goods for Sale for sale in Dundee ...
Find the latest Other Household Goods for Sale for sale in Dundee. See the latest Other Household Goods for Sale for sale ads and more.
- Wed, 15 Oct 2014 06:48:00 GMT
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Wedding Planning & Ideas - TheKnot
When you first start planning a wedding, the process can seem completely overwhelming. You want everything to turn out perfectly down to the smallest detail (and who ...
- Wed, 15 Oct 2014 08:35:00 GMT
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Gold and Silver Buyer's Guide – United Arab Emirates ...
Before reading this guide to buying gold bullion and silver bullion in the United Arab Emirates, please read the basic guide to buying gold and silver.
- Wed, 15 Oct 2014 06:33:00 GMT
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Used stuff for sale in United Kingdom | Gumtree
Find the latest stuff for sale in United Kingdom on Gumtree. See used items for sale from clothes,electricals, furniture to tickets and more.
- Wed, 15 Oct 2014 06:26:00 GMT
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Human Interest
Shreveport Police & Target Partner to Bring Christmas Cheer to 10 Local Kids
Author Sandra Boynton Has the Perfect Christmas Gift for Your Child: "Frog Trouble"
Popular children's author Sandra Boynton, whose books include "Moo Baa La La La," "Tickle Time" and "Barnyard Dance," has come out with a new CD called "Frog Trouble." It features popular country artists like Brad Paisley, Alison Krauss and Dwight Yoakam, and even comes with a songbook that includes lyrics, music and instructions on how to do the "Alligator Stroll
North Shreveport Business Association Supports Operation Santa Claus
Coffee Shop Collects Food for Man Who Swiped Money From Tip Jar
IRS: Make Sure You're Donating to a Reputable Charity This Holiday Season
What Were the Most Popular Baby Names in 2013?
Community Foundation Uses Social Media to Encourage You to 'Get Up and Give'
Here Are the Toy Drop-Off Locations for Operation Santa Claus 2013
Operation Santa Claus kicked off in Shreveport-Bossier this week with one goal: to help underprivileged area children have a Christmas. Several local drop-off locations for Operation Santa Claus have been set up for residents who'd like to donate toys to the non-profit group.


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It has come to that time in the season in which Roger Smoak is looking for his Camden High tennis team to take their collective games up a notch.
Camden High School's third quarter honor rolls have been announced.
Camden High School has been recognized by the S.C. Department of Education with a Palmetto Silver award for closing the achievement gap in 2010.
Ah, holiday travel!
Enough is enough. How much more can we take from this city council? They all need to go. We need to find a common-sense way to keep our rates at a reasonable rate. People in the city of Camden have paid the price too long.
Along with their colleagues, the Ballers' 11 and under squad, the T-ballers 14 and under AAU basketball team did clean up work in neighborhoods for the United Way. The two teams will also host a fundraising "Short Stacks for Change" pancake breackfast on Saturday, May 14 from 7:30 a.m. until 10:30 a.m. at Fatz Cafe in Camden. Tickets for the breakfast are $7 each which includes one short stack of pancakes, sausage links, fruit cup and choice of coffee, tea, milk or juice. Tickets may be purchased from team members as well as at Fatz Cafe ...
Comprised of seven anglers, ranging in age from 13 through 18, the Bulldog Youth Fishing Club has spent the early spring fishing in youth tournaments in order to qualify for The Bass Federation (TBF) tournament to be held on Lake Murray on Saturday, May 21.
Monday: North Central at Lugoff-Elgin (TEN – 4 p.m.); South Pointe at Camden Military Academy (TEN – 4 p.m.); Lugoff-Elgin at Ridge View (G – 4 p.m.); Lower Richland at Camden Military Academy (BB – 5 p.m.); Covenant Christian at Camden Military Academy (BSOC – 6:15 p.m.); Lugoff-Elgin at Blythewood (BB – 6:30 p.m.); Lugoff-Elgin at Blythewood (SB – 7 p.m.); North Central in Region 3-A Golf Tournament at Chester (TBA)
Applications will be accepted through April 30 for the Camden-Lugoff Elks Lodge No. 2603 annual Mary Ellen Ahner Scholarship. Any Kershaw County High School senior planning to pursue a career in education is eligible to apply.
Fort Sumter surrendered to the rebels again last week with what one observer called "measured enthusiasm," compared to the Civil War centennial celebration 50 years earlier. For that, South Carolina, a grateful war-weary nation thanks you.
Hats off to Camden Garden Club member Barbara Beard. She has, over the last couple of years, put together a fabulous tour of gardens. These gardens though, are not just in Camden. She has coordinated with other garden clubs from around the state and they alternate where the tours will be.
With the creation of five new rural high schools in Kershaw County in 1923 came new learning experiences for these new high school students. Antioch, Blaney, Charlotte Thompson, Midway, and Mt. Pisgah not only offered the basic courses of English, Math, Science and Social Studies but soon offered such vocational subjects as Agriculture and Home Economics.
Jacqueline Ohrstrom's Demonstrative clinched the Lonesome Glory Champions Award as 2014′s leading earner on Saturday when he drew away powerfully to a 3 3/4-length victory in the $250,000 Grand National at the Far Hills Races.
What should have been a celebration of a sturdy football win by Camden High School (CHS) turned into an ugly incident Friday night at Zemp Stadium when a brawl occurred as players went through the handshake line following the game. The incident led to a significant amount of publicity across the state, causing a black eye to CHS and the city itself. While various investigations of the fight continue, including scrutiny by the Camden Police Department for possible criminal conduct, it appears the brawl was triggered by Dreher players.
Love a fair
WASHINGTON -- So unpopular is President Obama these days that the (D) following Democratic candidates' names might stand for Denial.
Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on immigrants and being an American in 1907:
The current focus on the death of a patient with Ebola in Dallas and the subsequent infection of two nurses at the same hospital, as well as the global nature of travel today, has led some to wonder how community hospitals might deal with possible Ebola patients.
The Kershaw County School District (KCSD) exceeded state expectations according to data released by the S.C. State Department of Education.
Lee Ann Parker (right) speaks with family friends (from left) Pastor Gene Rollins and, his wife, Linda, as Parker's husband, Sampson, signs a copy of "Unthinkable Choice" at Books on Broad on Oct. 18. The Parkers, who live Harrisburg, N.C., co-wrote the book with Thomas Smith about Sampson's decision to cut off his own arm after getting it caught in a corn picker on his "hobby farm" in Kershaw County on Sept. 11, 2007. The book also chronicles their lives afterward as Sampson recovered from his ordeal.
A truck driver suffered injuries after his tractor-trailer overturned on S.C. 34 in Lugoff just west of Richardson Boulevard around 4 a.m. Tuesday.
For some, Halloween means dressing up as a witch, zombie or vampire. For others, especially this year, Halloween means dressing up to contain Ebola.
It's been 12 years since President George W. Bush signed No Child Left Behind with a beaming Ted Kennedy by his side. According to the terms of the law itself, every public school was now supposed to be adequate.
The little girl and three of her siblings had been sexually abused by a relative. Her parents agreed to let me talk to the girl, 10, and two of the older siblings, as long as I did not identify them in any way.
Last week, Apple and Facebook announced new plans to help female employees freeze their eggs, according to Forbes.
"Think pink" is America's mantra in October, as breast cancer awareness takes center stage in sports stadiums, advertising campaigns and even religious worship services.
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Roy Keane - The Real Captain Fantastic
This is my tribute to Man Utd's previous captain fantastic, Roy Keane!...
- published: 26 May 2007
- views: 2320725
- author: JunaidRonaldo17
Former Manchester United captain Roy Keane has rounded on the current crop of United players and said some of them should be "ashamed". When asked about this the sacking of David Moyes on ITV's Champions League coverage, the Republic of Ireland assistant manager said: "I think some of the players at Manchester United should be ashamed of themselves... they've really let him down "You need people around you to help you in every way that they can and I don't think he has had that support particularly from the players. "I think he deserved more time definitely. "He certainly had a hard job when he took the job last...Belfast Telegraph 2014-04-23
Republic of Ireland manager Martin O'Neill has confirmed that talks have taken place between Roy Keane and Celtic, who are seeking a replacement for departed boss Neil...Orange News 2014-05-29
Ray Houghton insists Roy Keane is not expecting equal billing alongside Martin O'Neill when the duo take charge of the Republic of Ireland. The Football Association of...Orange News 2013-11-06
You just can't keep Roy Keane out of the news at the moment and this week I was tasked with interviewing him face-to-face for Football Focus. I played alongside him with...BBC News 2014-10-10
Ray Houghton insists Roy Keane is not expecting equal billing alongside Martin O'Neill when the duo take charge of the Republic of Ireland. The Football Association of...The Independent 2013-11-06
Like World News?
Ray Houghton insists Roy Keane is not expecting equal billing alongside Martin O'Neill when the duo take charge of the Republic of Ireland. The Football Association of Ireland on Tuesday night confirmed O'Neill as the man to lead them into the Euro 2016 qualification campaign, with the forceful presence of Keane installed as his number two. The strong-willed Keane has been a...RTE 2013-11-06
Casadh fileata i scéal fada achrannach ab ea ceapachán Roy Keane mar leasbhainisteoir ar fhoireann sacair na hÉireann agus tógáil croí a bheidh ann é a fheiscint os comhair na meán inniu agus san Ávívá Dé hAoine. Is fíor nár ghabh an FAI an leithscéal poiblí le Keane atá ag dul dó, ach níor chóir, is dócha, a bheith ag súil leis an iomarca. Dúirt John Delaney ar an Late Late...The Irish Times 2013-11-13
Birmingham Mail: Paul Lambert is convinced Villa's players will love working with Roy Keane after hailing the appointment of his high-profile assistant manager. Keane was confirmed as Lambert's new No.2 yesterday afternoon, allowing him to begin work in time for the start of pre-season training on Monday. The 42-year-old coach will combine his assistant boss's role at Villa...noodls 2014-07-02
The most withering criticism in Sir Alex Ferguson's book is reserved for the man who once embodied his will: Roy Keane. As captain of Ferguson's Manchester United, and its angry heart, Keane ensured Ferguson's writ was law on the pitch, maintaining the manager's standards and driving the team on. But, inevitably, Keane's body began to show the strain of so many confrontations,...The Independent 2013-10-22
Opinion is divided on new Ireland managerial partnership although the Brian Clough influence could forge unlikely management team ...The Guardian 2013-11-02
(Source: Aston Villa plc ) A round-up of the afternoon media headlines. 1st Jul 2014 Express and Star: Villa have confirmed the appointment of Roy Keane as the club's new assistant manager. The 42-year-old former Sunderland and Ipswich boss has signed a deal which will allow him to also continue in his current role as Republic of Ireland assistant manager. Keane, who made more...noodls 2014-07-01
Roy Maurice Keane (born 10 August 1971) is an Irish former footballer and manager. In his 18-year playing career, he played for Cobh Ramblers, Nottingham Forest, and Manchester United, before ending his career at Celtic. Keane was a dominating central-midfielder, noted for his aggressive and highly competitive style of play, an attitude which helped him excel as captain of Manchester United from 1997 until his departure in 2005, having joined the club in 1993. Keane helped United achieve a sustained period of success in more than 12 years at the club. He then signed for Celtic but retired as a player less than a year later.
He played at international level for much of his career, representing the Republic of Ireland over a period of 14 years, most of which he spent as captain. He played in every Republic of Ireland game at the 1994 FIFA World Cup, although he was sent home from the 2002 World Cup after an incident with national coach Mick McCarthy.
He was appointed manager of Sunderland shortly after his retirement as a player, and took the club from 23rd position in the Football League Championship in late August to win the division title and gain promotion to the Premier League. Keane's arrival was cited as the catalyst for Sunderland's recovery. He managed to keep Sunderland from relegation in the 2007–08 season, but in his second season as a top-flight manager he left his position with Sunderland in the relegation zone. In April 2009, he was appointed as manager of Ipswich Town, but was sacked by the club in January 2011 with them 19th in the Championship.


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Softening lip balm - octyldodecanol, caprylic/capric triglyceride, microcrystalline wax (microcristallina cera), ricinus communis (castor) seed oil, cetyl palmitate, cera alba (beeswax), polyglyceryl-3 diisostearate, copernicia cerifera (carnauba) wax, butyrospermum parkii (shea butter), cetearyl alcohol, myristyl myristate, simmondsia chinensis (jojoba) seed oil, vitis vinifera (grape) seed oil, citrus aurantium dulcis (orange) oil, tocopheryl acetate, tetrahexyldecyl ascorbate, flavor (aroma), benzyl benzoate~Lip plumper - polybutene, pentaerythrityl tetraisostearate, octyldodecanol, triisostearyl citrate, dipropylene glycol, silica silylate, squalane, polyethylene, c12-15 alkyl benzoate, disteardimonium hectorite, propylene carbonate, menthe piperita (peppermint) oil, water (aqua/eau), butylene glycol, tripeptide-3, hexapeptide-3, quercus suber bark extract, methyl diisopropyl propionamide, ethyl menthane carboxamide, methyl lactate, lauryl laurate, zea may (corn) starch, hydrolyzed corn starch, hydrolyzed starch octenylsuccinate, retinyl palmitate, tocopheryl acetate, tocopherol, tetrahexyldecyl ascorbate, sodium hyaluronate, sodium saccharin, phenoxyethanol, mica, titanium dioxide (ci 77891) ~Sugar lip scrub - simmondsia chinensis (jojoba) seed oil, sucrose, hydrogenated polyisobutene, butyrospermum parkii (shea butter), cera alba (beeswax), theobroma cacao (cocoa) seed butter, silica, olea europaea (olive) fruit oil, squalane, prunus amygdalus dulcis (sweet almond) seed meal, glycine soja (soybean) oil, juglans regia (walnut) shell powder, citrus aurantium dulcis (orange) oil, tocopheryl acetate, phospholipids, retinyl palmitate, ascorbyl palmitate, phenoxyethanol, fragrance (parfum), water (aqua/eau), benzyl benzoate ~Foaming cleanser - water (aqua/eau), methyl perfluoroisobutyl ether, sorbitol, cocamidopropyl betaine, methyl perfluorobutyl ether, sodium laureth sulfate, carrageenan, cyclopentasiloxane, cyclohexasiloxane, fragrance (parfum), butyrospermum parkii (shea butter), theobroma cacao (cocoa) seed butter, oryza sativa (rice) bran extract, yeast polysaccharides, phenoxyethanol, butylene glycol, polyhydroxystearic acid, isononyl isononanoate, caprylyl glycol, sodium saccharin, ethylhexyl isononanoate, sodium cocamidopropyl pg-dimonium chloride phosphate, lecithin, xanthan gum, o-cymen-5-ol, ethylbisiminomethylguaiacol manganese chloride, mica, citral, limonene, linalool, red 40 (ci 16035), titanium dioxide (ci 77891)
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Lee Martyn's live music career is celebrated in the concert memorabilia available at Wolfgang's Vault. The Collection is divided into Lee Martyn Posters, Lee Martyn Photographs, Lee Martyn Apparel as well as other Lee Martyn memorabilia such as vintage tickets backstage passes and media like Rolling Stone magazines.


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Don't-Miss Stories
The Week in iPhone Cases: Sparkle, power, and customize
This week's roundup of new iPhone cases brings you something sparkly, something powerful, and something that can be anything you want.
The Week in iOS Accessories: Totally tubular
This week's roundup of new gear for your iOS devices includes a little bit of everything: Bluetooth, wood, power, and even old-fashioned, tube-powered speaker with a 21st-century twist.
Apple hints password reuse, not iCloud hack, at heart of locked iDevice ransom attacks
A compromise of Apple's services is not to blame for the recent ransom lockouts via Find My iPhone, according to the company.
Report: Apple plans to introduce a connected home platform at WWDC
You might be able to soon tell Siri to open the garage door—assuming a new rumor is accurate, anyway.
The Week in iPhone Cases: Dash and splash
This week's iPhone-case roundup brings you a dash of color, a splash of protection, and a reminder that summer days, spent lazily at the beach, are not far off.
Djay 2 update features Spotify integration
The latest update to the popular app from Algoriddim gives users access to more than 20 million tracks of streaming music, giving experienced DJs a deeper well of music to play, and helping add polish to amateurs.
The Week in iOS Accessories: Ready, aim, campfire!
This week's roundup of new accessories for your iOS gear includes a device that uses your campfire to power up your iPhone, plus the usual assortment of speakers, keyboards, stands, and more.
The Week in iPhone Cases: Afterglow
There's a light at the end of the tunnel—and it could be coming from your handset, thanks to one of the cases we cover in this week's roundup of new iPhone cases.
Ten rules for great iPhone photography
Whether you're an old pro or just starting out, here are ten tips to get great shots from the camera that's always with you.
The Week in iOS Apps: The sound of music
This week's roundup features improvements to several apps that let you listen to music and podcasts when and where you want to.
iphoneNext Page


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Originally published March 7, 2014 at 7:14 PM | Page modified March 7, 2014 at 8:40 PM
Arizona State loss to USC could change NCAA tournament picture
Arizona State, which lost to USC on Friday at the Pac-12 women's basketball tournament, has dropped six of its past eight games. Coach Charli Turner Thorne says she thinks the Sun Devils will make the NCAA tournament team.
Seattle Times staff reporter
There will be a lot of scoreboard watching this weekend by teams on the NCAA women's tournament bubble as they know their chances of getting into the tournament could hinge on scores elsewhere.
Among those bubble teams is Arizona State, the No. 4 seed in the Pac-12 women's tournament at KeyArena, which lost 59-57 to fifth-seeded USC on Friday.
In the latest tournament predictions, the Sun Devils are listed as a No. 7 seed. USC is among the "first four (teams) out." The Trojans' victory was their 20th, improving their resume. ASU didn't help its chances by losing for the sixth time in eight games.
"Every time somebody beats us they seem to think it's going to help them get in," said ASU coach Charli Turner Thorne, whose team has an NCAA RPI of 21 and a signature win against No. 12 North Carolina. The Sun Devils haven't been to the NCAA tournament since 2011.
"We've had a very tough back-end schedule," Turner Thorne said. "Five out of seven on the road and we're dealing with some unhealthy players. But in all, yeah, I do think we're an NCAA tournament team."
Home calling?
Tom Collen was fired Friday as Arkansas women's basketball coach. Collen was hired in 2007 and left with a132-90 overall record with one appearance in the NCAA tournament and four Women's NIT bids.
First-year Washington coach Mike Neighbors is an Arkansas native. His daughter Abby, 17, will enroll at the school this fall and his son Alec, 11, lives in the state. Neighbors has been divorced for nine years and doesn't have a family tie in Washington. His longtime girlfriend lives in Kentucky.
Neighbors, 44, didn't respond to a question about whether he'd consider leaving. If he did, it would be the second straight year UW lost a coach to the pull of home.
Kevin McGuff, Neighbors' predecessor, was born in Ohio and said coaching the Buckeyes was a childhood dream.
The Huskies only lose one senior, guard Mercedes Wetmore. Neighbors has been part of the program for three seasons.
Recruiting trail
Stanford is keeping an eye on the girls high-school state tournament in Tacoma this weekend. Mount Rainier senior forward Brittany McPhee committed to the Cardinal in November.
Cardinal coaches aren't able to attend the prep tournament due to competing in their own at KeyArena. Stanford assistant coach Kate Paye said the plan is to win so McPhee can watch her future teammates play Sunday.
WNBA reaches agreement
The WNBA announced Friday that its collective bargaining agreement with the players' union was ratified by the Board of Governors. Los Angeles All-Star Nneka Ogwumike, who was seated among the KeyArena Stanford crowd for the Pac-12 tournament, was relieved.
"At first we were like, 'What's going to happen?' " Ogwumike said of talk among WNBA players this offseason. She's a Cardinal alum, and is in Seattle to support her sister Chiney, a senior forward for Stanford.
The last CBA expired in September 2013. Nneka Ogwumike, a 6-foot-2 forward, departed to play in China last fall. While there, her Sparks team owners returned the franchise to the league and a new ownership group led by Magic Johnson purchased it in February.
The WNBA announced an agreement with players after the Sparks sale, pending approval. The CBA is an eight-year deal with a mutual opt-out option after six.
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