text:
As a family psychologist, I've found that a parental concern even more common than the ubiquitous Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is disrespect. Whether it's talking back, having an attitude, or refusing to listen, disrespect is often at the top of the problem list parents bring to my office. I typically search for ways to move disrespect down the list.
It's difficult to suggest putting the topic off until later because respect is very important. However, we parents too often fall into demanding respect and forcing children to comply. With threats, punishment, shaming, bribes, and rewards, we use various forms of our power to get kids to respect authority. Our success has been our downfall. We've unwittingly taught kids to respect the power and control of authority, losing sight of the more important goal of respecting relationships and respecting each other as individuals.
We've taught kids to value power and control so much that they want it for themselves. When kids set out to gain this elevated standing, power struggles with their parents can grow. This explains a phenomenon I observe in my office: the more a parent identifies with power and control, the more likely they are locked in protracted conflict with one or more of their children.
As a counselor, respect for power and authority typically is not at the top of my list. We need to demonstrate respect for each other and for relationships, not for power and control. We need to win children's respect, not try to demand or force it. Coercing respect might bring compliance but it doesn't build true respect for each other. Respect is won by giving it and earned by acknowledgement of innate worth and equality. Children are our equals, not in skill or knowledge, but in human dignity. We should treat them as such.
Gaining children's respect begins with treating them respectfully and focusing on the relationship. Here are some suggestions:
© Copyright 2008 by John Petersen, Psy.D., therapist in South Bend, IN. All Rights Reserved.
This is so true! I see so many people who give absolutely no respect to their children yet demand it from them in return. How are children ever to learn how to give respect when they are never shown that themselves?
I am so glad to hear that this drives you as crazy as it does me. I see so many "adults" who act more like children than their own children do and that is sad! Children deserve the same amount of respect as do adults and they will never learn how to give this to others if they are never shown that by those role models in their own lives!
And what do we do about those who never received this as children and who then turn around and give the exact same back to their own children? It is a viscious cycle and sometimes it seems that there is no way to stop that circle. What can we do to make that happen?
Good article. What is curious to me is how often parents feel "disrespected" when expecting kids to be able to do things that they aren't developmentally ready to do. Examples include sitting still, cleaning unsupervised for extended periods, and following sophisticated social rules.
If we only knew as much about our kids as we know about football.
There should be a license to parent- period! This should not be a right but an honor and there are so many who do not treat this as a privilege at all.
What about requiring people to take parenting classes? But then what do you do if they fail or if they just do not show up?
That is just it- we cannot require these sorts of things of other people. That is not right. Neither is bad parenting. But we have to step up and give at risk families the resources they need to become better parents and caregivers rather than punishing them outright and telling some that they are not worthy of having children when they have never even had the opportunity to try.
And much of this could be prevented if we simply paid more attention to the things our kids get from watching TV. There are so many sassy mouth kids on TV shows that our own kids try to emulate- we just need to switch those things off and sit down together for some one on one parent and child time. It is thru interactions like these that they will learn how to not only get respect from others but also how to give that same respect back to them.
You are right about the fact that there seem to be way more negative role models for kids on TV and in sports than there are good positive ones. No wonder so many of them talk to adults with no respect at all. Those are the behaviors that they constantly see rewarded on a daily basis.
What ever happened to disciplining kids for showing no respect? I am not saying you have to hit them but there needs to be a firm line drawn to show them that you are the parent and they are the child and instill this from early on in life so that they will recognize the importance of giving respect to others.
Because there are too many parents who are more interested in being friends wih their kids rather than being the parent. They want to be perceived as cool and do not realize what a disservice they are actually doing to the kids.
In the words of Bill Cosby: Come on people! We have to get it together for the good of our kids. We need to give them what they need, which is love, care, and discipline!
As the author of the article, I apologize for this late reply.
Upstatesc, your question of how to step out of the cycle of disrespect is very important. Someone has to make the first move, unless they show up for counseling together and decide to take that step together.
I typically look to the adults to lead. Someone has to be the adult in the situation. That is not to blame the adult for the cycle, but to lean on their responsibility and good will as a parent to move first. The good news is that parents, even most of the parents commonly judged to be bad or troubled, are willing to make changes. Every parent has a value/dream of what family could be. We tap into that and point out how mutual respect and cooperation will give the best chance of getting there.
Other comments have referred to parenting classes as a fix. I routinely run parenting classes and can say that all types of parents benefit from them. But parents take away what is meaningful to them and not always what you or I see as meaningful. All we can do is honor that growth and encourage them to continue to grow. That is all I can do in my own growth as a parent and would not expect anything else from others.
Lastly, there was a suggestion to discipline children for their disrespect. I agree if by discipline you mean teach and set a limit. The limit must be your own limit, what you are willing or not willing to do given the disrespect that exists. For example, when my children yell at me or are rude in conversation (usually a conversation about computer use or television) I will refuse to discuss it further until we can try again in a more respectful manner. The limit is communicated by controlling myself (ending my side of the conversation/argument), not by attempting to control the child. We can teach them experientially that disrespect erodes our good will and interest in cooperating (e.g, my willingness to share my computer). If done without threats or dishing back disrespect, our children perceive rudeness to be ineffective. If we discipline with disrespectful tactics, they perceive the parent, not their own behavior, to be the problem.
For our family, like the article clearly states, consistency is the key. Earning the respect of your children is never going to happen when they percieve you to be easily swayed and convinced that inappropriate behavior is OK. Yes earning respect is a job that you have to focus on doing 24 hours a day but in the long run it will make you a better parent and your kids will be better for it as well.
I have taught in the classroom for over twenty years and of course I too have noticed a deterioration of respect for others in society in general. But that is something I will not tolerate in my classroom, not for myself or for others. For me it is important to make that clear from the very beginning, to spell out my very high expectations for my students, and I find that more often than not they will rise to the occasion to meet and even exceed what I had set out for them. You show children that you respect them and their abilities enough and believe in them and they will live up to what you knew they could be all along. I think that with the respect issue this often gets lost along the way. Many times children simply behave as you unwittingly expect them to and if you do not hold them to high standards then that is the level at which they will perform, both in the classroom and in life in general.
Excellent point, Sally. Children often live down to expectations. We can show respect by expecting them to contribute as essential members of the family and classroom. We can also expect them to act respectfully as a matter routine.
Coming on strong with threats about what will happen if such and such disrespectful behavior occurs alerts everyone we don't have confidence children will cooperate or we expect children to spark more problems than solutions. We can anticipate and expect respect and cooperation, and, as you point out, it benefits all involved if we are clear about our expectation. Also, let's be clear about what we are going to give. How often did we hear teachers tell us, "I'll show you respect because you deserve it, our classroom deserves it, and I deserve it."? Never. We hear, "I'll show you respect if you respect me." which sounds more like the code ethics among criminal gangs.
Of course, we need a clue about what to do when disrespect comes along, but we'd be better off setting up and expecting respectful relationships from the start.
Respect is one of those things best caught, not taught.
This is a problem I have long struggled with. I am 20 and live at home. I commute to college. My parents have always demanded respect, and the punishments for not obeying their commands have always been harsh. When they speak to me it is in a highly condescending manner. In their eyes, they know all. I have tried to tell them how I feel, but any negative feelings or disagreement with how they do things is considered disrespect for them. They have consistently told me that I am not to speak to them as an equal. I love my parents, but I feel that we are on a road to a more distant relationship than we already have. The saddest part is, they don't even see it. They truly believe that they know me on a deep level, but the truth is, I am afraid to discuss anything with them that is more than skin deep. At this point I feel trapped with no way of improving the situation.
Thank you for adding to the conversation. You offer an adult voice to what our children cannot say, but would want to say if they could. Humans, and yes this includes children, are never satisfied standing in an inferior position, as measured by respect not by skill, knowledge, age, or any other measurable quality.
Given yours is an adult relationship issue, I'd like to point out there is an opportunity to ask your parents for some behavior change. If they aren't going to buy into the concept of equal human worth, they may at least be willing to avoid certain language or behavior that is damaging the relationship. It is a place to start. Then limit your parental exposure to areas where they are willing to agree to respectful treatment.
Going for a smaller victories keeps you away from ultimatums and keeps some parent/adult child relationship going.
Mr Peterson, your response dismays me. Instead of Alex asking his parents for some behavior change, how about him meeting them halfway?
He says their punishments for not obeying their commands is harsh. Why isn't that answered with a question about why he's not doing what's asked of him first before assuming it's all the parent's fault? Respectful treatment is a two way street.
I'm not related to Alex.
Quoting you, "Why isn't that answered with a question about why he's not doing what's asked of him first before assuming it's all the parent's fault?"
I appreciate the question. The short answer is because his parents never asked. That was the heart of his complaint. And I had the sense that Alex was looking for some constructive pointers, not someone else to take his parents' side.
My response to Alex was focused not on the harsh punishment but on the commanding and condescending approach he perceives they take. His perception is very important and valid. I don't have to blame the parents to take that stance. In fact, I don't think I blamed his parents at all. Generally, I take the stance that nobody is to blame and all are responsible.
Thanks for the clarification and response, Mr Peterson. I wasn't taking his parents side either nor undervaluing him as a person. I feel that ignoring his own admission of not doing what was asked is conveniently sidestepping that. Responsibility lies at everyone's feet, I agree.
I should have addressed the question to Alex so I shall. Thanks for responding.
Alex, why don't you do what's asked of you and save all the animosity and aggravation? Or here's an idea. You don't need to continue accepting the home comforts nor the rules. Find out what it's like to be a grown up by moving out. Your parents may be glad of the break too. You're obviously a smart kid. You could pick up a job no problem. You can't control their actions so take charge of your own.
I believe you have incorrectly assumed that I frequently break the rules. Actually, is is extremely rare for me to break a clear set rule. The problem lies in a lack of communication. I feel I am at a point where I should have more control over my life and more respect from my parents. As far as moving out, this is really not an option. I barely have the money to pay for college. I can't see any justification in abandoning my education over roughness in a relationship with my parents.
your comment about us as parents having to "earn our children's respect, and "children are our equals" is totally wrong! Since when do we as parents have to tip toe around our kids and walk on egg shells, so we will be sure to "
respect our kids," while they trash, and verbally,and maybe physically abuse us as parents. Children are NOT our equals. Children need to obey thier parents, and listen to what they are told. The parent has a good reason when they tell thier kids to do or not to do something. Of course things change, should the parent(s)be totally abusive in any way then I would agree the parent loses the childs respect, and love.
i agree, children should be a equal and thats us as parents should. you also do get alot of conflict when we force respect through power instead of relationships.
Ok. I am 18 now, still in high school and about to graduate. I get good grades, i am in honors classes, i haven't been arrested and don't smoke, drink, or do any drugs. I have a job, but don't make enough to move out yet. Yes i plan on attending college also. As far as me doing chores, i struggle doing them sometimes because honestly, they are like towards the bottom of my list(art, playing and making music, school work,, studying, friends, girlfriend, etc.) Also, i am a calm and collective person. I'm the type that thinks about what i say. and i also believe i am well educated.
My mom is a lawyer, survived breast cancer, has been taking care of 3 children (me being the oldest) on her own, she is now married for the 5th time (she is still not that happy with it though, im not either). i believe she has been through alot and overcame alot, and i honor that alot. im proud of my mom and love her. but she can be very controlling, and when i stand up to the pupeteer (her), and cut off those strings (her manipulation, and control over my life), then she see's it as disrespectful, and says i dont love her and stuff.
I'm in the same exact predicament as Alex. My mom is just like Alex's parents! She is very controlling, and if its not done her way, its disrespectful. Now i am not trying to accuse her as the wrong person in this matter but it is very overwhelming. usually when i am at school, i am like "man i cant wait to get home", but now, i am not even excited about going home. when me and my mom meet a disagreement, its disrespectful because i stand up to my point instead of ignoring mine and believing hers. when ever i try and talk to her about how she makes me feel, i am always the guilty one in every conversation. when i do what she tells me but do it in my own way instead of doing it exactly how she tells me, it's disrespectful to her. i.g.( its 2:15 and im just arriving home from school and i cant wait to play some halo 3 on xbox live after doing home work. when i come home from school, she tells me to cut the grass. its like 3:00 and it's blazing hot outside. so i wait until 5:00 to cut it when it cools down a bit. The end result is that i do what she says(i cut the grass), i just do it under the my concerns, still focusing on what i was told to do.)
also, when my mom see's something as disrespectful, she blows things out of proportion, throws away her sanity, and says what ever comes to mind, satisfying her emotions. like i feel its really annoying and inconsiderate. im very concerned about this issue, because i can see the end result of our mother-son relationship. i want it to be great. i feel she needs to start respecting my judgments and decisions.
there are alot of details i left out, due to the space i already used. but please help, and please read Alex's comment above because it fills in some of my missing details. im like in the same situation!!HEELPPP!!!!
I'm so grateful for what you have shared and I'm struck by how respectful it is of your mother. As you say, she has been through a lot, in on her fifth marriage, and may still be unable to count on men to follow through. I wonder if she needs to be in control, be able to count on things, and needs to watch her back lest she be let down by men again. You seem to hint at this and you respect her position, and so you are more than half way there.
If there were a way for her to understand your situation without defensiveness or feeling disrespected, you could then offer her a commitment she can count on but one that allows you some freedom and respect as well. For example, agree to chores a week ahead of time. If you're going to cut the grass, you offer the day and time, so you have a larger voice in the matter (while still offering your appreciation and respect for her position). When you honor the agreement, you protect your freedom and dignity and she is not tempted to "throw away her sanity."
Of course life gets in the way and you'll fall short at some point. A graceful recovery is the key at such times. Lead off with a gesture of respect and understanding, mention you'd like a chance to make it right, and ask that she trust you and stay calm about it.
Catch her being good and mention what you appreciate about her and what she is doing. Note improvement and talk to her about the change you notice. Highlight and thicken the differences between fighting for control and cooperating to protect freedom and respect.
Best of luck and, again, thank you for your wonderful post.
i have so many problems with my parents because i think i deserve respect as a fellow human being, not a slave. I totally agree with the compliance vs coordination thing. I wish my parents had enough sense to try it. Great article.
This is rediculously true. Parents focus on "demands" and that they "demand" respect and feel superior to the children. How are you (as a child) supposed to give respect to your parents if you are treated like s**t everyday from your parents, and that they demand respect for you. Every parent that falls under those rules of treating your children like that should really treat children as other people… because THEY ARE. Burn in hell if you treat your children like that. It also creates depression within the childs mind, thinking they are nothing but a slave to the parent. Which is rediculous. Just remember, in the end you will be judged. The way you treat your children now will show its affect in the future. All I am saying is TREAT them like you would want someone else to treat you… that's it!! No stupid "oh because im the parent B.S." We are all human, all seperate people, all have emotions, all living on the same Earth. PARENTS have absolutely no power over the way the child lives their lives. LEAD THEM in the right direction. But don't put them down, treat them like s**t because darn well they probably don't do that to you. What goes around comes around.
This is rediculously true. Parents focus on "demands" and that they "demand" respect and feel superior to the children. How are you (as a child) supposed to give respect to your parents if you are treated like s**t everyday from your parents, and that they demand respect for you. Every parent that falls under those rules of treating your children like that should really treat children as other people… because THEY ARE. Burn in hell if you treat your children like that. It also creates depression within the childs mind, thinking they are nothing but a slave to the parent. Which is rediculous. Just remember, in the end you will be judged. The way you treat your children now will show its affect in the future. All I am saying is TREAT them like you would want someone else to treat you… that's it!! No stupid "oh because im the parent B.S." We are all human, all seperate people, all have emotions, all living on the same Earth. PARENTS have absolutely no power over the way the child lives their lives. LEAD THEM in the right direction. But don't put them down, treat them like s**t because darn well they probably don't do that to you. What goes around comes around.
Good day! I have a problem with my mom these days, i do not know what to do. She always want to have my respect but i do not feel the respect that she is giving me. :(
I'm a teenager to a rather excellent home. But I argue with my parents often because of my tire from them doing EXACTLY what this article is preventing. Only my younger brother has been diagnosed with ADHD, but all 3 of us are siblings of the same parents, and they are rather demanding. It is rare to even hear a sorry for an overreaction. Often, when I argue a point that they might actually be wrong, I am told to stop being a 'smart-mouth' and that [their wrong] isn't up for discussion anymore. I wish I could get them to read this. This is the main problem in this household.
Also, could someone explain these missing 'rights' of speech and opinion that I supposedly don't have with my parents?
I live in a suburban upper-middle class Progressive home in Wisconsin,
and when I refuse to let my parents go through my stuff they start
taking away priveleges and demanding my respect. It wasn't even
for anything like drugs, my mom wanted to go through some of my
papers. I told her that I have a right to my privacy; she says I don't
and pulls out the parental trump card, "I am your parent and you will
respect me." The respect that was left shot itself. Anyway, my dad has
done this too. How can I get my parents to respect my privacy and
acknowledge that if I have to earn their respect then they have to earn
P.S. I already go to a psychologist.
I'm 16. In general, I have a really good relationship with both my parents. However, often I'd have fights with my mum. I suppose I'm not very respectful with how I handle it but I dont know how else to act because I dont agree with the way she speaks to me in these cases, with her angry demanding tone, and her attitude towards me and I just get really fired up. & she's not even speaking to me that way for a good reason! I did nothing wrong to start with!! Then later after it cools down a bit, sure she'll be speaking nice again, but firm, but demanding an apology from me, where I can really struggle to do that believing she also needs to make some sort of apology for the way she treated me. And then it fires up again & it just causes this big issue!! I agree that the whole demanding thing really fuels the issue quite badly!
I just broke up with my bf because his daughter was disrespected with him every time they were visiting me. I have rules at home with my kids when they are upset trying to fix the problems talking, no screaming. But my bf's daughter was swearing, fighting and screaming at me also! I decided to become a "teaching respect helper" talking to her, showing love and respect for her, but really teaching respect is not only the father's gf job, also both parents are supposed to help, which wasn't happening. He told me his daughter has EDHD but I noticed she is a real smart girl just need someone to listen about her feelings. At the end, I'm just a human being, I raised 2 kids now in College and I have 2 teenagers we spend all day together, a lot of work for a single mother. (Still sad since I love him.)
Kids are too dumb to tell whether their parents are telling the truth or lying. After long, it's too late to correct the problems ingrained in their brains. Stupid people should be sterilized so they cannot breed.
I'll be 21 this sept and my mum still treats me like a 12 yr old boy. Always finding every little reason to shout at me. She separated from my dad before i was born and dis is the first time i'm living with her and her husband up to 8 months. now i cant even eat peacefully and my dad is also married to 2 wives bt he seemed to understands me better. my mum always thinks shouting and nagging at me is the best way to correct me. pls tell me wat to do, cos i cant concentrate on my work and my studies again. thanks, i'm waiting for your advise!
To Ms. Mary Price, you are a perfect example of a controlling and hypocritical parent. Before you demand respect from your kids, YOU need to show them what respect is before they practice that respect. Like the article said, children are our equals NOT IN SKILL AND KNOWLEDGE, but in HUMAN DIGNITY? Did you happen to miss that part, or did you overlook because it was inconvenient to you? Parents SHOULD earn a child's respect. They deserve it just as much as you do.
all people are made in Gods image, and are equal at the throne of grace, children are oblagated to repect their parents has the Bible commands, but the parents have an oblagation to love, cherish, and respect their children has future adults, and therefore, however the parents treat their kids will be reflected when they become adults. all the world dictaters (Hitler, Nero… etc) it all started with what they were influenced with when they were children, granted it could have been friends, the wrong books etc. but it probably started with their family i.e. their parents. what ever the the parents tell their children at younger ages will be obsorbed and interpeted than consequently, used. What parents really don't realize, is when they don't give respect yet demand it, the kids don't really get a good picture of respect.The dictionary definition is:esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: you don't see alot of that coming from a kids point of view when he never gets privileges or respect from his/her parents. A related proverb would be: "if you treat a rose well, it will bloom, if you neglect it, it will whither and die.
My relationship between my dad and I isn't good. A good reason why some parents demand respect and give none back is their background. When they were a child, that was the way their parents treated them. When those parents bore children they decided to treat their children like that. The sad part is, in our modern society people still act like this. Those parents need to realize that they need to treat everyone more fairly, especially their kids.
My dad was a very disagreeable man. He would always talk like all his ideas are correct, and the worst part is he would never apologize for his wrong action.
Anyone with a dad like that?
my mom and dad are making me write an essay on respect and this makes so much sense to me….I just wish I could tell them this but the moment you talk down to them about them not understanding they blow up.
my parents are making me write a paper on respect too, when I tried to show them this they said all these people needed to be less selfish and have more perspective.
Thank you so much for proving my point! It kills me that my parents think themselves above me and think that they don't have to respect but that I have to respect them. It was incredibly wrong of them and thank you for posting this article to really teach my parents a lesson.
I'm just beginning to realize why I come home (whenever I do) with as much dread as excitement.
Whenever my dad says something hurtful, I'm expected to suck it up. I think it's been like that for a long time, and became difficult to follow when I was in my teens and dealing with post-trauma stress. I'm supposed to suck it up even now. To the extent that if I show I'm hurt by something he's said (my face is like an open book lol), he will accuse me of being a whiner and an attention seeker…and this sort of behaviour persists even though I'm an adult and married. It's almost as if my opinion is to be shot down by default and there is nothing I can say that will be considered with anything other than contempt. And since we come from a culture where your parents are to be treated almost like your gods – to the extent that even when they start earning, children are conditioned to doing almost everything as per what their parents say.
I become the bad person because I fight back if he insults me. My mother usually doesn't see what he is doing as wrong, and always makes some excuse or the other, and eventually winds up blaming me for the way
he acts.
He keeps bringing up my childhood and how good I was then – mostly as a reminder that if I'm ever to be considered 'good' I should go back to being that obedient 6-year-old. But now I wonder if it was just because I was so scared of fights back then that I kept quiet.
Eventually when we do begin talking again, he makes sure I recognize the entire thing as my fault – not his – and never apologizes even if he knows he's said something hurtful. Seeing my rocky relationship with my family, I dread how I'll bring up my kids whenever I do have them — will I want to control them like my parents did, or will I be so lax in the fear they'll see me the same way? I really do hope I can find a middle path somewhere…I would never want my child to feel that her self-worth and self-esteem will forever be tied to what her mother or her father think, and that her opinions being different from mine means they are of no value.
I can only hope and pray that I use my experiences as a lesson on what mistakes I could possibly make as a parent, and therefore be a bit more careful.
Thank you.
As "the child", the total lack of number three and number five really drives me up a wall. Being a very compliant and serve-to-please "child" I feel bad for the total lack of respect I tend to feel for my parents. However as the egotistic and stubborn equal in "human dignity", I feel very indignant for even trying to comply to such a bipolar and detrimental parenting style.
I am a combo of some of the above posts.
I have been "disrespecting" my mother after all the shit I went through, both past and now. And I would not call this "disprespect" more of "stand up and fight for yourself" kind of thing. Yes fighting back to tell her her how she is treating other people is "disrespect". One thing for sure, keeping quiet and obeying all the time blindly can put you in a vulnerable position as you will have no control for yourself and life. I used to do that as a teenager as I thought if I just listen, she'll be happy. Nope! It gave her the opportunity to run me over like a toy object.
-She gets mad at someone, she takes it out at me. I got accused and lashed out for things I haven't even done!
-She makes statements that isn't even true and rants all the time, making her sound like a negative person, and makes excuses like "I'm paying for your education, I can treat you anyway I want"
-If someone accomplishes or has a new talent, or lives life in a certain away and finds that I'm not like them, she gets upset and lashes at me. I can recount how many times I felt like throwing her out the window.
-For one certain instance, I told her how I felt uncomfortable only to get threatened to be beaten as she thinks it gives "discipline".
From our culture it's the norm, and it's no wonder why suicide is very high in our culture. It will also cause broken relationships and resentment. Truthfully, though I don't want to do it, she'll have to suffer her consequences and actions if she keeps it that way. Also probably why her family is dysfunctinal.
I have been separated from wife and my 2 kids because I simply did not move to New York City near wife's 2 refugee brothers who live in Montreal Canada/another man eas involved. In 1992 I traveled to Middle East and unfortunately married this idiot wife who was in the market to marry an American citizen to be able live near her 2 refugee brothers whom she had not seen for many years. Last year after I refused to move to New York she ran away with my 2 kids to a local shelter and falsely accused me in violence. To begin with I tried hard to put her in school and started English from scratch and assisted her like her personal driver & translator everywhere every day. I paid for kids' daycare so wife could go school and get some education& sense of humor, but she was never interested in school nor one minute work in America. Finally divorce judge ordered visitation to me and she refused to let that happen and she did contempt court order then my attorney filed motion for her contempt and wife agreed to a setup of every other weekend visitation before the trail. Since I've got visitation about 3 months ago my kids never talked to me or answer my greetings/questions, like hi, good morning, love you, thank you etc. I am a disabled senior with Dystonia, Tardive Dyskinesia and other health conditions but me and my brother give them the best services they could get every visitation time and each time we pick them up my 16 years old daughter wanted dress and shoes for dancing $140.00& other expensive electronics and school projects and dining at expensive restaurants, they don't want to go any fast foods or frozen foods. They never said thank you dad or brother or uncle for all treatments & what we done for them. I only receive $700.00 a month SSI&SSA because I was short 2 points to get full retirements. Wife gets all the government benefits including, food stamps =$600.00, TANF= $250.00 free housing, free utility and gets $5000.00 yearly Pell grant(recently started cosmetology class as dropped it in 1999). Wife and her brothers at Canada bribing my kids by buying/poisoning my kids mind against me and their brother from ex-American wife who is an American hero by being deployed several times since 2005 to Iraq & Afghanistan &my family. Wife's brothers buy some games, toys and clothing for my kids and promote hatred towards me and my family. Please give me some advice. Thanks & God bless you & have a Merry Christmas& Happy New Year
I believe you are incorrect. You have to set an example. But you also have to be considerate of your child's actions and emotions. It would not hurt to sit down and conversate with them what's bothering them. And in my opinion, I do believe we are just as equal as "parents" or "adult" because one day they will be an adult, a parent, a someone. I'll im saying is re-consider about your decisions before you see your children drifting apart from you and you lose them.
I disagree vehemently both with modern psychology and modern parenting. I am a traditional man and I agree with traditional parenting. Clearly defined roles and expectations. I am sick to death of hearing about this absolute conviction that modern psychology has of the emotional health of children being supported with buy-in and respect and non-coercive parenting.
I WANT obedience in my children. Not "mutual respect." I want and demand immediate unquestioning compliance and deference. This is the proper behavior of children. "Yes, sir." should be their only answer until they are men and women themselves.
I think modern psychology is breeding a nation of weak, self-interested brats. Consumerist, arrogant, lazy "what's in it for me?" types. When I look across history, the generation that I admire most is the generation that served in World War II. Selfless, respectful, men and women that did what was right when it was needed. And they were raised with the child-rearing methods of the 1920s.
Today's crop of self-centered authority-averse "psychologically healthy" adults wouldn't have stood a chance. We'd have failed and all be learning about how Hitler won the war.
Thanks for the leaving the comment, Troy. I guess your first two sentences say it all. In many ways that is the end of the discussion.
Two observations for the rest of those reading. One, this notion of mutual respect within families and the research on it predates WWII. Second, Troy's comments are less than respectful.
I'm 17, and have good parents that I can respect. I can't say I can automatically give respect to other adults in my society, though, because of their attitude and logic. They're nothing like my parents.
I know a lot of young people who were bullied or have parents that ignore them, and it really irritates me when adults angrily (and noisily!) demand respect, even when their kid is depressed, and assume that "all kids have it easy these days." They don't even take the time to find out whether their kid is being bullied or has about 4 APs to study for (it's pretty common in my school to have that many APs). And the bullied kids often suffer because not only do the adults in school barely help, they're also more prone to disagreements with parents since they're more sensitive to what people say. Parents out there, please think twice before calling your kid a brat if he's had a bad day, cause something might be happening that you don't know about.
There's also the fact that a lot of people I know have been trying their best to earn good grades, playing football to the best of their ability, and some hoping to earn a little respect from their peers and family. There's always that one parent who's never satisfied with that, and that can really damage someone's self esteem.
I hope the people reading the comments see this, cause I want young people and their parents to get along better, not be torn apart because of misunderstanding and a misinterpretation of respect. Thank you so much, if you read this :)
I am sixteen years old. My parents are divorced and have two very different ways of dealing with me. My mother has, over time, begun to focus on the relationship rather than having power and being an figure of authority. My father, on the other hand, has always been very focused upon power, and as such treats me badly whenever we have a disagreement. He might be older than me, but judging from our previous interactions and his childishness (he gives me the silent treatment) I have come to believe that i am the adult in our relationship. Are there any suggestions on how to bring about change?
You know what, Troy. Try living like a kid because apparently you don't know what it's like. We have our bad days and come home to parents DEMANDING us to do things for them. We can't help but say no, then we get grounded because we were being "sassy". We are people too. You parents don't own us. We control ourselves, YOU don't. We need equal respect with child and adult. Not just, us children treat you like royalty and listen to every command you demand. If you really knew what it's like then your opinion would drastically change. Try living in our shoes for once. No we shouldn't have to call you sir. Just because your "grown up" little adult doesn't mean you have all rights. News flash; last time I checked you guys didn't rule the world. I got really opiniontive I don't care what you say. You guys are disrespectful to us too.
There are two kinds of respect. First, there is the kind that all human beings are due regardless of their chraacteristics or behaviour. This is what I call basic respect and entails not inflicting harm or abusing others, respecting dignity, and so on. Second, there is the kind of respect that is earned, that compels us to do more for certain individuals, to trust them, perhaps to do as they request, and so on. Of course children are automatically entitled to the former, but may only earn some aspects of the latter – a child who lies is not to be trusted and a child who proves honest will earn that trust, but no child will be obeyed. However, I find that children are oft denied the first kind of respect as they are treated like property and not persons by their parents and by society. It is not respectful to use corporal punishment on children (it would be assault on any other human being), it is not respectful to shout and scream at a child, and it is nkt respectful to use demeaning language. And I find it curious that parents think that it is logically possible to teach children universal respect for others if they do not show even the most basic respect for the child (a rule is not universal if the child is an exception, ergo the rule is false and don't think the chikd doesn't see such deceptions and injustices), unless, of course, they terrorize the child into obedience, in which case the lesson learned is not respect – it is that power and fear rule relationships and that the more powerful person has the right to use said power to dominate.
Children are an inhertitance from the Lord. A parent is to give unconditionall love both in word and deed. And children are to honor their mother and father so that they their days may be blessed. These are not our choices but God plan of order that bring him Glory and us the blessings due to obedience.
I was reading your post and thought I could help. first of all it is wonderful that your mom has decided to work on your relationship. I am the mother of three children. I pretty much raised all my children the same. but they are individuals, none like the other. my boys are 3836, and my daughter is 25, she has not had an easy run of things, and picked the wrong type of men to date, pretty much leaving her abused. I wish to God that you would stop treating me like they treated her. my boys never did that to me. if someone is calling you names and as an adult, that doesn't show a very good thing for a child. try to sit down and talk to him. don't yell tell him how this makes you . I hope it gets better for you Lois
I must say I agree with a lot of your believes in raising children. as I was raised by a World War 2 vet. a wonderful man but firm, you let you know from the very beginning. not to ask him more than one time, I had a very wonderful childhood. I did not get to be the parent nor did I want to be. I knew who was in charge and it was not me. kids nowadays do feel we owe them so much. back in those days though there wasn't so many broken homes. there was a man to stand behind a woman. A team, my father discipline does not my mother. I have race 3 children, my boys 38 and 36 how about we showed me respect.On the other hand I have had trouble with my daughter, and still do. I know she is 25 but when I'm in a store with her and ask her to stop talking, in a way I find offensive I believe she should stop.She I believe she can be who she is, I don't know if we will ever get along. but I have to commend you, on your honesty.The wishy washy parents, get wishy washy kids. thank you Loisl
kyle, EVEN IF YOU HAD A GOOD OR BAD CHILDHOOD THEY'RE YOUR PARENTS, when your mum was giving birth to you did you ever think of the pain she felt, did you ever have any good times with them, they're trying so hard and striving till the day you grow up and can stand on your feet. You see ever parent has this natural feeling to care for thier child, GOD gave them this feeling. YOU SHOULD RESPECT THEM, go ask people without parents and ask them how much they want thier parents back. OVERALL you should show kindness to your parents always and never attitude. show respect to people older tham you as they have more knowledge of life than you. If you want to search youtube soldierofallah2 your mother and then your father. If your a person whos willing to see what the QURAN says about parents then search google its up to you
How can my niece and nephew realiZed how their father who didn't treat right to my sister. The kids don't respect their mother and full support father. Father already brain washed to kids when they were kids. Now they are in college. I am trying not to hurt kids feeling how their father is bad to us. It made us sad that they are blind about their father who always deny on everything. He pointing us a lot wrong things however look at himself too. I know all I have to let it go and someday kids will wake up and realized how father who didn't treat ex wifey and family in laws. I want rebonds with my niece and nephew.
I agree completely with you. I am 36 raising two girls 18 and 13. My dad worked we did get the opportunity to ask why we had to do what he said. He would beat, not spank us, I am sooo glad we got that diseplin from him. I have 3 biological brothers and sisters raised by my mom and dad and a half brother whom was raised by grandparents. He has been in and out of prison since he was 18. He is now 38 and I highly believe it's because he controlled his home. We as parents have to teach our children what the real world is about. As adults you work your whole life, you are told what to do, you don't get to go to work and dictate what your going to do. You have speed limits that are required by the law. You don't get to change them to fit your needs. Teachers put together assignments, you don't get to pick and choose what work you want to do. Kids today think parents owe them. Well news flash people, America is falling fast because we have ALLOWED our children to dictate our parenting and our rights of parenting. If children get in trouble with the law, parents are held accountable. The law has taken our rights from us and given them to the children. I don't agree with beating your children, but spanking them shouldn't be a bad thing. There are always consequences in not doing as your told, let us teach our children, let us raise our children to be good, respectful adults.
Sorry that was we did not get to ask why
That is the smartest thing I've heard today.
I'm 21 years old and due to being sexually abused by another student at 13 (which my parents are unaware of), and then later abused at 20 in the same manner. This sent off my insecurities until I became suicidal. I have been battling depression since and ended up in counseling at school. Despite this, I go to college, work hard to get paid internships, and try to manage my finances. My main support comes from my family. My parents made a deal that'd they'd loan me a certain amount for me to pay back after I graduated and got a job.
The problem is, my blind respect for them as a child has made them think my respect should be a guarantee since they help me with college. Since my depression went downhill, my health, and some of my flawless GPA followed. I ended up managing 2 surgeries between my senior year.
I still managed to get two very good paid internships and both times I financially supported myself until I went back to school. My family has yet to ask about my mental issues, though they know I struggled and am seeing a therapist. I'd like them to take an interest but they insist on using financial threats to control every area of my life if I don't do as they say. They literally think they own me with that money.
A reoccurring one is my boyfriend of a year, who is largely responsible for healing many of my self-worth issues. Everything I have done and battled from is very worthy of respect. And this is the one luxury my parents will not give me. I am frequently not good enough for their them, grades, health, money, job, or my choice of boyfriend. My therapist tells me much of my emotional inadequacy began at the abuse and compiled with every event at home that reinforced this notion that "Nobody cares for you or will ever help you when you need them."
To all those "I DEMAND RESPECT" vomit messages, f*** you people that extort and force respect from children. I used to respect my family when they treated me as worth something, but the new message is that "I am never good enough for their approval."
If it hadn't had been for my own strength to get help on my own, I'd have killed myself by now. They wouldn't even have a daughter to extort respect from.
You NEVER completely know what is going on in your kid's life unless you make an active effort to know, respect, and love them. So cut the s*** and treat them like human beings, and not like your underling spawn.
If,you say that children should and must obey their parents just because of their authority,are you trying to say that because of this,child abuse is justified?That child trafficking is justified?Before they are your children,they are fellow human beings.If all you are going to do is continuously demand their obedience and respect just because you are their parents,what difference would it be from communism?You do not like others doing that to you either,so do not do that to your child.
You need help. Not from a therapist. You need help from God. Parents want what is best for their children so that you can be on your own soon. We as parents, would hate to be wiping your butt until you're 40. Grow up and respect your parents. They have better things to do and think of besides trying to control your every move. Until you learn to respect them, you will never be a great person. That is true no matter how successful you are.
To teach your children respect you should show it and expect it in return. So yes when they disrespect you or others they should be pulled up for it, but if you set a good example then they will understand what it is your asking from them. Don't you think you may have taken this to an extreme? Yes I demand respect from my kids, but I get it because I show them and others around me respect. They learn from my example and because they are still children and are still learning it is up to me to teach them and correct them when they are wrong. I'm a Mum that's my job.
THank you for your comment. You make very good points. I do not think I have taken this to the extreme. Recall the context is families where disrespect is high on the parent's list of problems. They demand the child change before the parent. A position of power is not enough to gain respect if respect is damaged in the relationship. I think you likely are speaking from a position where respect isn't damaged and you are already giving respect. In that situation, I agree it is important to speak up when you are disrespected. It is best to speak up about the hurt that causes you.
Thanks again for your comment.
I agree but I don't a agree the human being deserves mutual respect. As for children yes they should respect their parents but parents should show them how to respect by treating them with respect first and parents including being overpowering because it will backfire in their faces. GOD guide you all including me if He is so willing.
Oh yeah, I also forgot to say that some time after the argument, if I think it is my fault when the argument is ongoing then it is easier for me to accept my mistakes. But doesn't it get to your nerves, oh children and parents alike, to be blamed for something you didn't do?
My child is 13 in a few weeks. I've had a lot of problems with him startin from refusing to go to school to smashing up the house. Of course he is noisy, but I have other smaller children that are in bed when he is doing this and he does it more to wake them which is tireing on its own, let alone the damege and playing up. I ignore him a lot of the time and punish when he calms down. Also today he had an out burst so I told him I'm sellin his counsel to pay for the damage. This will start up again tomorrow no doubt. I'm stuck, I don't know how to stop him and not involve the police. He is my son as much I want him out sometimes. Helpppp.
Your right i am 17 and i realize you can't do anything without god and listen to the first command honor thy father and mother. But when your mother doesn't even act like a mother. Calls you names: b**ch, etc doesn't go to church over 5 years its so hard to do that. So don't think she's being selfish because some parents were not mature yet neither has finished maturing.
That Does not mean verbally abusing them and hurting there feelings but instructions expected and giving them your best because of it .
My dad does not respect me at all. Im 17 years old and I yearn for the day that i can finally pack my things and leave. I want to be treate like the young lady i am and not a servant. His idea of kids is free house maids for 18 years. I do what i am told because he is my father and i honestly have no problem doing chores. My problem is how he treats me. He claims i do nothing around the house and all i do is sit on my phone all day. I wonder who he thinks does his laundry and how dishes magically appear clean after he tells me to do them. He hits me for the dumbest reasons and he yells at me and he actually try's to make me feel bad about myself. Im contemplating never talking to him after i move out. We got into a huge fight because i told him i wanted respect but he told me im not his equal i am his child. Im 17 years old i take care of myself and the rest of my family
I am so saddened as I read your story. First, you should not be abused by your parent. Hitting is not allowed. It is considered abuse. You don't mention a mother. Is she alive? Or are your parents divorced? Since you are living home, I would agree some chores should be taken on to show responsibility. You shouldn't have the burden of cooking, cleaning and being a full time maid. Your fathers treatment is not healthy for your self esteem. Value yourself and never let a man raise a hand to you. You have that choice. Say no to abuse. I hope you turn 18 soon. I hope you don't suffer further abuse from your father, if you do please see a school counselor or someone you can trust. Department of Children & Families could be an online resource. They will take action and you most likely would be removed from the hostile environment you are living within. Keep your spirits up. Please do not allow being abused by any man, or woman. Seek someone you can trust to talk to, find a job and save your money. Best of luck to you.
I totally agree to what you have stated above. In my culture, respect is demanded by elders, which me and my sister do not like. We recently have an argument with our mom and aunties about respect. When we tried to explain our side they got mad at us for disrespecting them. Aside from that, my sister, 17, is starting to show dislike towards them that whenever they lecture her, she gets angry and responds in a manner that again, show more disrespectfulness according to them. I want to be that bridge between them and my sister because I believe that these are miscommunications that when not resolved properly, may cause a dilemma.
I am 22, i used to feel i have the best mom on earth until few months back when i realized my mom loves me but has always disrespected me. She isn't having confidence in me, takes me for granted, abuses me verbally, feels i am worthless and now i am facing the cousin rivalry, she ridicules at me in front of my relatives. I am tired of explaining her things and proving myself. The only way out of this is getting separated from her and i don't wanna do this. Need help
I totally relate to yr story. I am 33 and I just discovered how abusive my mother was and still is. It makes me miserable and depressed. I should probably leave far away but I just can't.
I would love to interact with u and have mutual support !
I am able to ignore such things but sometimes i really cant. I have stopped sharing things with her, i hardly speak to her now. I tried to explain her dat though i am younger to her, i too need respect but in response she only made fun of me. Since my childhood though i have been good at studies i never felt i was, all i wanted was my mom to confirm this fact which she never did.Coz of all this i never felt confidence in anything. I don't know how to explain my point to her. I am extremely close to her, i cant afford to lose her.
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The end game is obvious. If you expand the bureaucratic class and you expand the dependent class, you can put together a permanent majority.
Thomas Sowell (from Basic Economics):
Markets are just people making their own individual choices & mutual accommodations.
President Obama set out to reform health care not because Americans were clamoring to profoundly change our system, but because he wishes to transform the relationship between the individual and the state.
But Obamacare is not really about medicine. It is rather aimed at absorbing more of the private sector—once more, to create a vast new constituency of government workers and beneficiaries, to ensure an equality of result in treatment and access, and to replace private health insurers with public bureaucrats.
"Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it"
What is most frightening about the political left is that they seem to have no sense of the tragedy of the human condition. All problems seem to them to be due to other people not being as wise or as noble as they are.
If we counted up the number of "lone wolf" incidents and added it to the number of Islamist terrorist plots that have been foiled since 9/11, we would arrive at more than 40 incidents of terrorist killings or efforts to kill on a wide scale. If anyone could find a comparable series of anti-abortion terrorist acts, backlash attacks on Muslims, anti-Semitic attacks perpetrated by non-Muslims, Jewish attacks on Middle Easterners, or radical environmentalist killings, then one could argue that the public was unduly focusing on Islam.
But the sudden liberal worry that conservatives in general have gone over the line in legitimate opposition to Obama's rather radical agenda is not only unfair but amnesiac — given that not long ago any means were deemed tolerable for the noble ends of destroying George Bush — not defeating him — but destroying his character entirely.
The same people whose hair is on fire now about climate change have dressed up in fright masks before. Thirty years ago, they were (no joke) enormously agitated about the coming new ice age. From these same precincts (the Club of Rome, 1972) we were warned that the world was rapidly running out of oil, gas, aluminum, lead, zinc, copper, tin, and uranium. (We didn't.) At the same time, all of the smart people were absolutely convinced that overpopulation was the greatest threat to the globe and to humanity itself. Paul Ehrlich, author of "The Population Bomb," offered in 1980 that "If I were a gambler, I would bet even money that England will not exist in the year 2000."

subset: commoncrawl


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Better driving can save livesby Tom Savvides
A mother who lost her son in a cycle accident says she will dedicate the rest of her life to making roads safer. Tracy Squire talks to Tom Savvides about her campaign. Theo Batley, the uncle of Daniel Squire, and Brian McDowall from the Alliance of British Drivers also appear in the report.


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New York Governor Cuomo's office intervened in corruption probe -NY Times
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's office meddled with a commission he created to root out corruption in state politics, pushing back whenever it focused on groups tied to Cuomo, the New York Times reported on Wednesday.
Bridge probe committee to interview top Christie aide
The New Jersey committee investigating the lane closures on the George Washington Bridge that sparked a political firestorm will interview a top aide to Governor Chris Christie on Thursday, although the probe has lost steam in recent months.
New CEO of marijuana company will be former governor Gary Johnson
Former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson will serve as president and CEO of a Nevada-based company working to develop marijuana products for sale in states where the drug is legal, such as Washington and Colorado, he said on Tuesday.
Wendy Davis battles to revive stalled campaign for Texas governor
For one day a year ago, Wendy Davis became the brightest star in the U.S. political universe when she donned pink tennis shoes and launched a one-woman, 10-hour filibuster against abortion restrictions that brought her international attention.
Now she is battling to revive a seemingly stalled campaign to become the first Democratic Texas governor in more than 20 years by winning over frustrated Republicans and motivating enough voters who would otherwise spend election day at home to find a few minutes to vote.
Jack Wagner ends bid for Dems' nomination in Pennsylvania governor's race
Jack Wagner cited a lack of support from his traditional base in dropping out of the gubernatorial race.
Republican unveils bid to challenge New York Governor Cuomo
Rob Astorino, a little-known Republican county executive, launched a bid on Wednesday to challenge New York's popular Democratic Governor Andrew […]
Gov. Cuomo calls for universal pre-K in speech
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo laid out details on Tuesday of his plan for statewide universal prekindergarten as well as […]
NJ Gov. Chris Christie to address press over traffic scandal
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will meet with reporters Thursday,
Emails link Christie staffer, lane closings in NJ political controversy
Claims that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's administration closed traffic lanes at the George Washington Bridge as payback against a […]
Mass. State House to give noon update on two-day snowstorm
With cancellations related to an incoming snowstorm piling up, Gov. Deval Patrick's office is tracking the approaching storm and plans to give an update at noon Thursday.


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found a new home!
Plenty of my friends are looking
for one too. Find a pet to adopt.
Find a pet to adopt
My name is Pumpkin!
Facts about Pumpkin
- Breed: Poodle (Miniature)/Yorkie, Yorkshire Terrier Mix
- Color: White - With Gray Or Silver
- Age: Adult
- Size: Small 25 lbs (11 kg) or less
- Sex: Male
Pumpkin's Info...
I am up to date with shots.
Like many other shelter animals, Pumpkin finds himself a victim of circumstances. Left behind by his person and tossed aside by the other, this super sweet, 3 year old, poodle mix has found himself homeless and scared. Shortly after his arrival at the shelter, Pumpkin was whisked off to a groomer to remove the countless number of painful mats in his fur. Now with a fresh look he is ready for his new beginning. Take moment to stop by and visit with this super sweet guy, he is sure to winner you over with just one look!
Other Pets at Humane Society and Animal Rescue of Muskegon County
Why Adoption is a Great Option
Pumpkin, a Muskegon Poodle (Miniature)/Yorkie, Yorkshire Terrier dog was adopted! Here's how you can benefit by looking at adoption as an option to buying a Poodle (Miniature)/Yorkie, Yorkshire Terrier for sale in Muskegon, or seeking a Poodle (Miniature)/Yorkie, Yorkshire Terrier dog from a breeder in Muskegon.
- Rescues and shelter volunteers in Muskegon already know the personality and tendencies of their pets. This means they can match you with the right pet. That will makes it much easier transition to owning a pet for yourself and your new pet.
- On average adoption fees are much less than you'd pay a Muskegon breeder, or pet store. Plus most often rescue pets have already been to the veterinarian for a check-up, had a round of vaccinations, and are spayed or neutered. That is a lot of savings!
- You will become a hero, and give a needy dog or cat a loving home. In fact, there are even Poodle (Miniature)/Yorkie, Yorkshire Terrier breeders who help with Poodle (Miniature)/Yorkie, Yorkshire Terrier rescue. One puppy or kitten adopted in Muskegon paves the way for another one to be saved.


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Gifts For Mom
Gorgeous Midnight with Mickey Vera Bradley Collection
Posted by Martine Foreman
In the last few months, I have spent time with some of my closest friends. During those outings, I realized that maybe I'm the only mommy out there without a Vera Bradley bag. Okay, maybe not the only mommy, but it sure seems like moms everywhere just love Vera Bradley bags. I can see why.
Imagine my delight when I realized that Disney Store carries a gorgeous Vera Bradley collection with essentials that any mom would love. Made with a beautifully vibrant Midnight Mickey print that Bradley created herself, you can't go wrong with these accessories. And the best part is, everything is machine washable. I'm in love!
8 Breakfast-in-Bed Recipes for Mother's Day
Posted by Janssen Bradshaw
If you're planning to surprise the mom in your life with breakfast in bed, you might be looking for something a little more exciting than cold cereal.
These eight options are perfect for kicking off her special day, whether you're looking for sweet or savory, simple or gourmet!
15 Free Mother's Day Printables
Posted by Lauren Hartmann
Some of us just aren't born with crafty genes. When it comes to holidays we may love the idea of coming up with something cute and creative, but often the execution eludes us. Thankfully there are other much more crafty people out there in the blogosphere creating loveliness that we can benefit from and free printables are one of those things. I may be creative, but I'm still not particularly crafty, so I went on a hunt to find some super cute Mother's Day printables and found so many cute options (bonus…they're free!). So get printing! There's still time to make something cute for the mom you love (hint hint dads!).
What It Means to be a Mom
Posted by Lauren Jimeson
Every morning I wake up to the sounds of two little girls yelling "mommy" from the other room. I open my eyes, check the clock to see that it's the wee hours of the morning, and then glance over at my baby boy sleeping peacefully next to me in his crib. Five years ago, these early morning wake-up calls would have been absolutely dreadful. But now, it's the best alarm clock I could have ever asked for.
10 Handmade Gifts for Mother's Day
Posted by Lauren Jimeson
One of my most memorable Mother's Day gifts I've ever received is a picture frame my oldest daughter made me. I still have it sitting on my dresser. It's been there since the day she gave it to me two years ago.


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The Hutchinson Ice Bowl is a fundraiser for the McLeod County Food Shelf.
Registration begins at 10:15 am in the shelter and ends 10:45.
Tee off at 11:00am.
Turn in your pledge forms / cash and or donated non- perishables FIRST then register for the tournament.
2 rounds of 9-11 holes. Possibly added holes at Park Elementary (not for sure yet)
We will have food on site after the round. Money collected from the food sales will be donated to the tournament total donation. There is a fireplace in the shelter, and we will tie up a windbreak if it's windy.
$5 Entry Fee
$3 per entry will go to the food shelf. The remaining balance will be paid out in cash to top places in each division.
There will be a separate $1 ace pool.
Prizes for those who bring in the most donations for the food shelf!
The pledge form is attached.
Views: 28
It's official we will have two temp holes between 7 and 8, making it 22 holes total.
39°and sunny tomorrow.
© 2014 Created by Derek Tonn.


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Former Washington State center Aaron Baynes is going to London with Team Australia!
The former Cougar is one of 12 members of the Australian Boomers 2012 Olympic team. The announcement was made Friday.
The team includes a handful well-known players among basketball fans around the Inland Northwest and the West Coast and Pac-12 conferences. Other players going to London include Patty Mills and Matthew Dellavedova – both of whom played at Saint Mary's. Joe Ingles, Adam Gibson, Peter Crawford, Brad Newley, David Barlow, David Andersen, Matt Neilsen, Mark Worthington and Aleks Maric are also on the team.
The Australian team will be coached by Brett Brown, an assistant with the San Antonio Spurs.
Baynes was a member of the Cougar basketball team from 2006-09 and a two-year starter. He finished second on the team in scoring in 2008-09 (12.7 points per game) and tied for third in 2007-08 (10.4 ppg). He became the 30th player in WSU history to exceed 1,000 points for his career, finishing with 1,064. A native of Cairns, Australia, the 6-foot-11 center also became the 11th Cougar to surpass 600 rebounds as he finished with 653. He led the Cougars with 43 blocked shots as a senior to move into a seventh-place tie with Kyle Weaver with 93 career blocks. Baynes finished his career with the eighth best field goal percentage all time (.546) and helped lead the Cougars to two NCAA Tournaments (2007 and 2008) and an NIT appearance (2009).
Having already played and defeated London opponent China in the recent YouYi series in Perth, the Boomers will begin their final series on home soil against a strong Greek side this weekend. The Australians will then head to Spain where they will take on the world's number two Spanish side that boasts an all-NBA starting lineup.
The Boomers are looking for their first Olympic medal at the games in London as competition will take place at the Basketball Arena with their campaign opening game against Brazil on day two of Olympic competition (July 29).


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Rated 4.2 out of 5Â by 5 reviewers.
Men CrossFit Apparel
Reebok CrossFit Control Compression Short
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Rated 3 out of 5Â by DavesDad Not even close to size I ordered a large and yes, I'm not skinny, but I couldn't get them over my thighs. I returned them and bought a different model. 5/12/14
Rated 5 out of 5Â by Riki16 Hectic design! I have 32inch waist and usually go with a medium sized shorts/compressions. This compression does feel a bit tighter compared to previous products but once you put it on it does give you that extra stability and support which you expect. 4/24/14
Rated 5 out of 5Â by DownsXF Great Comfort These shorts were really tight on the first day but were perfect on the second, third, forth, etc. They are very comfortable and breathable during WODs. I would recommend them for anyone. 4/17/14
Rated 3 out of 5Â by ALG73 Good quality, fit is marginal. Medium shorts were tight for my 32 in waist. I needed to pull these up quite a bit to get the right fit in the crouch area. With that, the shorts rode high on my waist and legs. Maybe a large would fit better but would lose the compression benefit a little. 2/19/14
Rated 5 out of 5Â by jcbryan349 Awesome compression shorts! Look and feel great. Can't wait to do some wods in these! 3/2/14
1-5 of 5


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Mario and Peach 'Be My Player Two?' Marriage Proposal
Tuesday, July 24, 2012 | be my player 2, cute, mario, romance, video game rings, video game wedding
Nothing says love like a couple of gamers getting hitched the best way they know how. Hope she likes Mario enough to get past that 3 coin chip of a rock there buddy.
Update: This was made by a lady who proposed to her boyfriend. GOOD JOB PAL!
Read on to see more of this cool mario ring box. :)
[ source ]


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I took my first peek at the Divisional standings this morning (October, 14). You have to love the early season. Chaos is in full control.
- Edmonton and Toronto are leading their conferences, and Toronto is leading the NHL in standings points and goal differential.
- Traditional defensive juggernauts New Jersey, Anaheim, and Chicago have the highest Goals Against numbers.
- Three Western Conference favorites, San Jose, Chicago, and Vancouver, are sitting on the playoff bubble, with San Jose clinging to the 8th and final spot.
- Pittsburgh sits at the bottom of the Atlantic Division having played the most games (tied with others at 4) in the league so far.
This time last year, NHL insiders were surely giggling about that fast start in Colorado, and how it couldn't last. They were right, but it was still enough to get the Avs into the big dance. Who is going to be the big surprise at the end of October this year?


text: On Monday (04/19/10) my neighbor's house was broken into aorund 8:30am. ( Our dogs did not bark as they were in the house) and there is always a great deal of human traffic next door as everyone works or goes to college. When the "owner's college daughter came home around 10am she noticed that the front door was open slightly and called her mother. Mother came home and called police. The "crook" had entered through the bathroom window on side of house out of view of the front street. Stolen was a laptop and many "games" belonging to the young college person. This neighbor has an alarm system and I asked her why they didnt have it on. She informed me that since everyone is "in and out" they dont usually set it. (Due to the "breakin" we had in Feb our alarm system stays on (24/7) even when I am in the house. I dont even go out to work in the garden without it being on. ) The "crook" turned out to be a 16 yrs old niece of the house owner and does not attend school. Of course the police asked the neighbor if she wanted to press charges and charges were filed. Now that's is the way to maybe teach this girl a small lesson but what will they do to her? Slap on the hand and "dont do this again"..This is just the begin of getting caught this time. Im sure its not the first time. Maybe a neighborhood watch would help a little. Seems like we must inform our neighbor of ever move we make these days. I dont have a problem with that.April 23, 2010 at 4:12 a.m.


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It is true that Otsego 200 is supporting this historic district nomination. Otsego 2000 is a (501)(c)(3) organization; we are not.
Otsego 2000 is managing the revenues necessary for the project. I consider it natural and appropriate for the sponsors of the Glimmerglass District to support us. I know of no hardship that has been realized by any individual or local government in any of the surrounding towns of Cherry Valley, Otsego, Richfield or Roseboom. Historic District recognition, hopefully, will bring pride and will foster prudent use to Springfield land. I don't think any of us wants to bring irreversible damage to our town or our Otsego Lake region.
Noel H. Dries, president
Springfield Historical Society


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"It wouldn't surprise me if Gordon is scoring 20 a game next season. And if he is, I expect the Pistons would be significantly better for it." - Langlois If he gets traded, I agree with both statements.
A gem. KL: We know that this free-agent class is pretty top-heavy with stars. Is it a deep free-agent class and by that I mean is that mid-level a real value this year? JD: Only if it addresses exactly what you're looking for. It may be deep, but it may not be deep in the areas you're looking for. For us, I can't say we've pinpointed any one particular person – man, that's the mid-level guy. We've done that in the past and we've known it early on who we were going to go after. I can't sit here and tell you that right now.
Only a few teams in the league cause such a reaction, San Antonio foremost among them. When you pluck Chauncey Billups and Ben Wallace off the scrap heap and they become All-Stars, when you trade a volume scorer like Jerry Stackhouse for a Rip Hamilton about whom there were many doubts and he too becomes an All-Star, when you draft Tayshaun Prince down in the 20s of a weak draft and watch him outperform all but a handful of those taken ahead of him, that's the rep you earn.Keith Langlois' True Blue Pistons piece on Joe Dumars earning himself a rep for picking up what appear to be dirt in the rough, but wind up being diamonds. I've noticed a lot of people knocking the Wilcox signing around the 'net. They can go ahead and doubt the signing all they want, but we've all seen this before.
Morning Shootaround 5/18/09 with the Detroit Pistons
I was able to get in touch with Pistons beat writer, Keith Langlois to ask him some questions about the state of the Pistons.
Detroit Pistons ame day morning shootaround for April 13th with links and stories from around the Pistons web.
The Detroit Pistons game day morning shootaround for April 11th, 2009. Linking to relevant Detroit Pistons stories around the web.
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Day 114 – April 24, 2013: Highlights of The Day My car repair cost me less than $80! Thank GAWD! I had a broken sensor that was preventing gas from reaching its destination. The poor car is still riding with … Continue reading
Tag Archives: 365 days
365 Days of Dangermas: Day 95 – Home Alone
Day 95 – April 5, 2013: Another Friday night and I am all alone. I like it. I'm working, but I am also relaxin' and enjoying my favorite jams. It's been a good week. Cya next week! And, as always … Continue reading
365 Days of Dangermas: Day 58
Day 58 – February 27, 2013: Here's another bangle for the Dangerms tree. I love buying bangles and making bangles (I didn't make this one) but I hardly wear them. I'm more of an earrings kinda girl! Go figure! If … Continue reading
365 Days of Dangermas: Day 23
Day 23 – January 23, 2012: This beautiful rock was purchased from the Sloan Museum in Flint. I gave it to my daughter because she collects rocks and she chose it to go into the Dangermas tree today! If you'd … Continue reading
365 Days of Dangermas: Day 18
Day 18 – January 18, 2013: This is a bangle I purchased years ago, but I also used to make and sell even cooler bangles than this one! I want to get back into it, and I will. On the … Continue reading
365 Days of Dangermas: Day 16
Day 16 – January 16, 2013: I was recently featured at Internships.com and received a handful of these cute ping pong balls. If you're looking for an internship, please consider becoming a Danger Baby! If you'd like to donate items … Continue reading
365 Days of Dangermas: Day 15
Day 15 – January 15, 2013: This handmade HIV/AIDS ribbon looks great on the Dangermas tree! Don't forget to get tested and to protect yourself. STDs ain't no joke! If you're in Genesse County, please visit Wellness AIDS Services for … Continue reading


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5Anna Paquin is Having a Baby
True Blood costars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are expecting, their reps confirmed to EW today. The pregnancy is Paquin's first; Moyer, 42, has two children from previous relationships. Paquin, 29, is due this fall. The couple were married in Malibu, Calif., in 2010 after meeting on the set of True Blood 's pilot season in 2007.
Isn't that so, so great? I'm always like, "Wow," too, when I remember that Anna Paquin is only twenty-nine years old, because I'll be twenty-nine in June, and it always floors me that, though Anna seems to have been around as an adult my entire waking life, she's just a few months older than I am. And she's so hot, but she's married to that Stephen Moyer dude. Much like I am over how some people are all obsessed with Alexander Skarsgard (or maybe it's just True Blood and vampires in general), I don't get this guy's appeal all that much, either. He's OK, I guess, but all I'm saying is that this baby will be genetically blessed if it ends up looking more like its mother than its father, you know?
As for True Blood, this year's series premiere airs on June 10th, a mere three days before I turn twenty-nine. The premiere is highly anticipated by its following, and I won't be watching. Oh! And also, how are they going to tie this into True Blood's story line for next year, if it's renewed*? Are the show's developers going to pull a Twilight and Sookie'll give birth to a vampire baby? Is that going to explain why she's growing a bulbous belly and is suffering debilitating morning sickness? Will there be bloodletting and vampire venom to help with the child's delivery? Best of all, will there be werewolves present to assist in the process? Sure hope so!
*I'm totally kidding. I actually know nothing about this show. I mean, could this even potentially happen without some kind of infringement lawsuit, do you think?
April 18, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah
5 Responses to "Anna Paquin is Having a Baby"
"And she's so hot…" Nope. Not at all. I never understood the appeal, at least physically. Also, I had to stop watching True Blood because her over-acting was killing me. And yet I still kind of like her…
I agree. I see nothing hot or attractive about this girl, and she is a pretty bad actress as well. Maybe she's considered hot because she has no qualms about taking her clothes off? Seems like that's the only standard for attractiveness these days.
I love that dress! I want that dress!!
She has a face like a foot. The gap isn't helping either…….fugly.
Anna's look is weird. She can appear somewhat cute in some camera angles, but then a total troll face in others. Appearance aside; I feel her acting is pretty good. I do not find Stephen attractive at all. I love True Blood though.
Alexander is similar to anna regarding looks – sometimes he appears sexy other times he appears to be talking to you with his forehead. Weird. Maybe it is the director of True Blood and insane camera trickery. lol


text: 5 Feb 2014 THE SCOPE The future is now for Gemini, Cancer, and Leo Photography Rick Owens, CR Fashion Book Issue 2February 5, 2014 Gemini "You have to move forward this week; plan meetings and reunite with friends to debate about the future. It's the right moment to move or work on your house. Get a move on—it will benefit your overall fitness." Cancer "The beginning of February marks a period of strong inspiration and great energy. The people around you will be very surprised at first, but as results appear, they will quickly ask advice on how you did it!" Leo "The new moon will energize you if you are in a couple and you'll want to recreate a torrid atmosphere! This dynamic will also help you in your work where performance will be your creed, and communication your motto!"—Dominique Monjanel Facebook Twitter Pintrest


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By Karen Cohilas - bio | email
Lee County, GA (WALB) – A new civic organization is starting up in Lee County to help kids in the community. Kiwanis has founded a Lee County chapter.
Thursday night, they'll host a charter celebration at Grand Island Country Club.
President Amanda Smith said, "To form a new club in Lee County and to be able to help that specific area is going to be wonderful during these hard times when giving is down. We'll be able to get out there, whether it be through volunteering even, not financially, whatever we can do, that's what Kiwanis is here to do."
The charter meeting starts at six o'clock Thursday, to celebrate the 26 founding members of this club.
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Albany, GA 31706
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Yes, you can call me a homer here but why is Nick Saban not getting any Coach of the Year love - even at the SEC level?
ESPN's Chris Lowe had a poll asking who is the SEC Coach of the Year. Saban is not even given an honorable mention.
Why are all these candidates someone who took their team up one notch in quality?
James Franklin (Vanderbilt) and Hugh Freeze (Ole Miss) made bad teams mediocre. Neither had wins over ranked teams. Ole Miss is 6-6 and Vandy only beat one bowl-bound team - Ole Miss.
Will Muschamp (Florida) and Kevin Sumlin (Texas A&M) took a mediocre team and made them good. Florida returned 18 starters including all 11 on defense, and almost lost to Mizzou and La-Laf. TAMU basically rode on the back of you-know-who and some pretty good offensive tackles.
I am not even sure why Steve Spurrier (South Carolina) is on this list. Do they feel sorry for him?
The case for Nick Saban? How about taking a team that lost Dont'a Hightower, Dre Kirkpatrick, Trent Richardson, Mark Barron, Courtney Upshaw, Josh Chapman, Darius Hanks, Marquis Maze, Brad Smelley, William Vlachos, Jerrell Harris, DeQuan Menzie, several back-ups who played regularly and overcame the loss of offensive weapons DeAndrew White, Jalston Fowler, Dee Hart, plus Chris Black to injuries and still won the toughest conference in the nation and is headed for the BCSCG?


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By Jennifer Emert - bio | email ALBANY, GA (WALB) - Dougherty County leaders say a former Albany Marine's promotion means our area has a new friend in Washington.
General Willie Williams oversaw Logistics Command at Marine Corps Logistics Base, Albany for four years.
Recently he was named director of Marine Corps Headquarters Command at the Pentagon. That makes him the Chief of Staff for the Marine Corps Commandant, General James T. Conway.
The new position will come with another star for Williams. Once pinned he'll be a Lieutenant General. Monday, the Dougherty County Commission applauded his accomplishment and said it could be good for MCLB and Dougherty County to have Williams in such a high position.
©2009 WALB News. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Feedback
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EAG and Oberon Theatre Ensemble to Stage Reading of Mark Karafin's MAN IN THE MOON, 3/20
The Episcopal Actors' Guild's annual celebration of new work continues with a staged reading of Man in the Moon by Mark Karafin. The reading will be held on Thursday, March 20 in Guild Hall at 7:00 pm, and followed by a reception. Past Barbour Award winners include Ian August (Donna Orbits the Moon), Lynn Rosen (Apple Cove), and Laura Eason (40 Days).
Summary: In his own garage, Donny awakes to find himself soaking wet and taped to an old wooden chair. Over the course of the day, he'll learn why. Man in the Moon is a tense, dark thriller about fate, justice, and the choices we make.
The Guild Hall at The Little Church is located at 1 E. 29th St., New York, NY 10016 (b/w Fifth Ave. and Madison Ave.) Trains: R/N @ 28th St.; 6 @ 28th St. Tickets: $10/EAG members, $15/non-members. RSVP: (212) 685-2927 or firstname.lastname@example.com.
Mark Karafin's directing credits include Exit 27 (Medicine Show Theatre), Certifiable (FringeNYC), Erotomania (MITF), Cell 6 (Manhattan Rep), and Much Ado About Nothing (Theatre Row). He has assisted Christopher Durang, Alexander Dinelaris, Billy Hopkins, Neil LaBute, Austin Pendleton and more. He is currently General Manager at SoHo Playhouse, and is a proud member of Oberon Theatre Ensemble.
About EAG: Founded in 1923, The Episcopal Actors' Guild is a non-profit membership organization dedicated to helping performers "of all faiths, and none" who are experiencing financial crisis. Throughout the year, EAG also hosts events and fundraisers including concerts, variety shows, play readings, and professional workshops. www.actorsguild.org.


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We have just returned from a 4 night stay at this hotel. We liked it so much two years ago, we came back. And, we will come back again. The setting is perfect. You come into the courtyard from a busy street and feel like you can enjoy quiet and blue skys. The rooms are traditional culture, quaint and clean.... More
- Also Known As:
- Meson Del Rosario Guanajuato