text:
Movie News
It Won't Be Called STAR TREK 2!!
A few interesting tidbits emerge from an Access Hollywood piece on the highly kissable Zoe Saldana:
"We still haven't gotten a script yet," she said …
Simon Pegg, who plays Starfleet engineer Montgomery Scott, tweeted in February that "word on the bridge is the new script is AMAZEBALLS," but he still doesn't have that screenplay in hand. Saldana doesn't even know if Uhura and Spock are still an item.
... Access has confirmed with a source will begin shooting in mid-January …
Does this mean we'll see it in 2012 or 2013? Remember the 2009 "Star Trek" was originally set for a 2008 release. Its sequel was originally set to be released next summer. In any event, we'll have to keep our eyes peeled for casting.
… and won't be called "Star Trek 2."
Which I applaud very hard and loudly, since we already have a movie we like to call "Star Trek II." (I'm already worn out explaining to people which movie I mean when I say "Star Trek," which movie I mean when I say "Rambo," and what I mean when I say the third "Star Wars.")
Star Trek: Spock's Pancreas
Star Trek: Horta Vs. Tholian
Star Trek: Mudd's Pants
J.J. Abrams again directs from a screenplay by Bob Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof.
Find Access' story here.
Readers Talkbackcomments powered by Disqus
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Oct. 26, 2011, 3:05 p.m. CST
I like Star Trek: Amazeballs!
by sweeneydave
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:05 p.m. CST
I suggest "STAR TREK: MUDD FLAP"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:05 p.m. CST
The Star Trek dorks can never accept that JJ's version is vastly superior to the much loved originals.
by googamooga
Suck it up, sissies.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:05 p.m. CST
I suggest Star Trek: Pics Or It Didn't Happen
by PorkChopXpress
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST
How about "STAR TREK: THE KHAN OF WRATH"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST
*Gets popcorn*
by JumpinJehosaphat
Okay... go!
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST
just send it back to TV already...
by Chewbacca_Khan
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST
How about "STAR TREK: ZOMBIE TRIBBLES"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:07 p.m. CST
I think it would cool if that just called it "Star Trek" again.
by JediRob
It would kind of be like it's a series. I know they would never do that for a number of reasons, but I think it would be fun.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:08 p.m. CST
JJ's Version superior? Ah yes....The LENS FLARES really pick up the production values...
by doom master
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:09 p.m. CST
Ooh! Ooh! I know! "STAR TREK: DARK MENAGERIE"
by Royston Lodge
Remake "The Menagerie" for the big screen, but set it in the Mirror Universe!
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:10 p.m. CST
Star Tr2k
by The Fuck
oh no
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:10 p.m. CST
I'm hoping for "STAR TREK: THE FINAL ASIMOVLIVES ABRAMS RANT"
by SpyGuy
Seriously, he just just fuck J.J. Abrams in a hotel room somewhere and get it over with already.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:10 p.m. CST
Definitely Jack Black as Harry Mudd!
by zinc_chameleon
This next installment should be wickedly funny, as Harry Mudd bumbles and cajols his way to the Dark Side. We've had enough mock gravitas for a while. Try screwball comedy for once. TOS was always good for that sort of thing.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:11 p.m. CST
Sorry, SHOULD fuck
by SpyGuy
One "just" too many there.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:11 p.m. CST
If there's a 4 year gap between films...
by Voice O. Reason
...I kind of hope there's a 4 year difference in the series. I don't want this to end up like Star Treks II through V, which were only supposed to take place a few months apart each movie, but the cast was visibly aging.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:12 p.m. CST
How about "STAR TREK: REVENGE OF THE VULCANS"
by Royston Lodge
I figure the Vulcan survivors are pretty pissed off, and should become the villains of this alternate timeline.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:13 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREKS"
by Royston Lodge
Alien - Aliens Predator - Predators Star Trek - Star Treks
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:14 p.m. CST
by vulturess
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:14 p.m. CST
Star Trek: In Erection
by ScreamingPenis
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST
Seriously, my guess:
by AshMcQ
Star Trek: New Worlds just because it was in the original narratation(Final Frontier is already the subtitle of an awful star trek movie), and it's sounds very sequel-ish. Hmmm... or maybe "New Frontiers"?
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST
by poop
What the fuck is a Mudd? It's been like 10 years since the last one.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST
How about: "SWEET SWEETBACK'S BADASS SOONG"
by Royston Lodge
Brent Spiner's gotta eat.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST
How about Trekstar? Sounds like a fancy bike.
by sweeneydave
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Let's milk it like star wars
by MamboMan
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST
Star Trek (Afix Your Sequel Title Here)
by puto tenax
I really could care less about the title. I hope this time they focus a little more on 1. Science (which could be fun) and 2. Fiction (with a little better story). Klingons, ok, maybe. Genetically engineered supers, hmm, or here's an idea, get away from earth and let all hell break loose!
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:16 p.m. CST
Rise of the Planet of the Klingons
by MamboMan
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:16 p.m. CST
by vulturess
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:16 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Rise of the Revengers
by sweeneydave
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:17 p.m. CST
Pegg hadn't read the script
by Bass Ackwards
He only "heard" that the script was amazeballs, he actually hadn't read it himself to come to that conclusion.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:17 p.m. CST
by poop
I had to do it.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:18 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Spock Out of the Closet
by brocknroll
Zachary Quinto is gay, so we get a gay Spock now.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:18 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: FAH-Q"
by Royston Lodge
Q shows up to put the timeline back the way it's supposed to be.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:20 p.m. CST
How about: "SPOCK & UHURA & TED & ALICE"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:21 p.m. CST
If you mention "the third 'Star Wars'" to someone and they are confused...
by WriteForTheEdit
...then you don't want to ever talk to that person again. There is only one "third Star Wars." Dig? There. I wanted to include an asshole post today.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:21 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Orion Trail (gives it that frontier feel)
by sweeneydave
Maybe that would work better with a Firefly movie...
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:22 p.m. CST
"Star Trek Mirror Universe" Starring Zoe Saldana as Spock's Beard
by Mickster_Island
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:23 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: CHEKOV SEES A SPEECH THERAPIST"
by Royston Lodge
Seriously, what kind of Earthling in the 23rd Century still has a heavy Russian accent and can still become an officer on an English-speaking starship?
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:24 p.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
A tip of the hat to you for that one, friendo.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:25 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: THE RISE OF GUINAN"
by Royston Lodge
If Guinan could tell that the timeline where Tasha was still alive was "wrong", then AbramsTrek must REALLY be giving her a headache!
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:25 p.m. CST
A Very Star Trek Christmas
by sweeneydave
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:26 p.m. CST
doom master
by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi
Like the FX were so amazing in the original series? Get over yourself. Abrams' movie felt more Star Wars than Star Trek, but for some of us, that wasn't a bad thing. You diehards will always have your original series and the various 37 spinoffs, so just let it go, trekkies; let it go.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:26 p.m. CST
I wonder if Spock makes out with Kirk in the next movie...
by brocknroll
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:26 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: MEGA TRIBBLE VS. GIANT SPACE AMOEBA"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:26 p.m. CST
ST2: A Star Trek Movie
by sweeneydave
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:27 p.m. CST
by WarrenSmooth
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:27 p.m. CST
Given the 'Talent' On This Project, I'd Say
by Aquatarkusman
Star Trek: The Crystalline Non-Entity
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:28 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Early Years Vol. 2
by sweeneydave
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:29 p.m. CST
aquatarkusman: You win a coveted "Royston Lodge No-Prize" for that one.
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:29 p.m. CST
Just call it STAR TREK: ASIMOV LIVES!
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:30 p.m. CST
Star Trek II 2
by SPlissken
Star Trek II 2 or Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan 2 or Star Trek: Kirk and Spock Are Friends
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:33 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Star Trekker
by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi
Firstly, it would satisfy the diehards who hate being called "trekkies." Plus, then the sequels could go in one of two directions: Star Trek 3: Voyage of the Star Trekker or Star Trek With a Vengeance - take your pick. I'm here to help
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:34 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: TREK HARDER"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:35 p.m. CST
How about....
by matchesmalone2380
Star Trek: Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Star Trek: Spock doesn't die in this one Star Trek: Still Boldly going Star Trek: Star Wars sucks Star Trek: Does Shatner have a cameo in this one? Star Trek: Please no more Time Travel! Star Trek: Enjoy it, because it will be a few more years for the next one!
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:39 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: SPOCK AMOK"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:40 p.m. CST
Please dont go with the Harvey Mudd thing. That is stupid
by Knobules
Why? My god. SO many great episodes to clone or update. You pick the one about a pirate space pimp. WTF!? Doomsday Machine would be a slam dunk action bad ass movie. Or Charlie X. Or a dozen other at least. And they pick that crappy episode?
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:40 p.m. CST
They've moved way too slow on this series
by rev_skarekroe
People are going to be like "Oh yeah, there was a Star Trek movie a few years ago. Did I like that one?"
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:40 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: SAAVIK HAVOK"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:41 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Electric Bugaloo
by Darth_Nader
Now with less "2"!
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:42 p.m. CST
How about. Denise Crosby, Man? Woman? or something else?
by Knobules
Butch robot humping soccer mom in space.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:44 p.m. CST
by WarrenSmooth
Maybe the Enterprise could get caught in Kirstie Alley's gravitational pull.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:45 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
by 3774
No more re-imaginings. No more revisiting concepts. No more stuff we've seen over and over again before. Give us something something truly alien, and never before seen. Something with a sense of pure, science-fiction wonder. Like Motion Picture, but a higher pulse rate. Or not, and just rehash something.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:48 p.m. CST
How about: "KIRK & MIRAMANEE MAKE A PORNO"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:54 p.m. CST
National Lampoon's Star Trek
by quicksilver80
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:55 p.m. CST
I'm betting rehash
by coz
why bother coming up with something new when there's so much from the past that could be dredged up and redone? goes with what was being discussed re: Iron Man over in the comics tb, wot pink? Star Trek and the Iron Man movie were very similar, unfortunately I think the same will be true of the sequels
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:55 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: PIKE'S PIQUE"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:56 p.m. CST
Spock Trek: Where many a man has gone before.
by KiwiMetal
Sorry, I'm not usually that insensitive. I just couldn't resist.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:56 p.m. CST
Not one lens flare joke yet?
by tonagan
I'm actually happy about that.
Oct. 26, 2011, 3:58 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: GARY MITCHELL, WHERE ARE YOU NOW THAT WE NEED YOU?"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4 p.m. CST
JJ will once again save a shitty screenplay written by untalented hacks Orci, Kurtzman and Lindolf
by Xiphos_2
That's how the last sentence should have read.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST
by Mike J
I refuse to believe that anything written by uber-hacks Orci and Kurtzman woild be "amazeballs". Balls, more like.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST
Planet Of 2t2r Tr2k 2 Begins: The Rise Of Star Trek
by my liege
I'm going to go ahead and assume that the Earth will be in some kind of danger, the Enterprise is the only ship in range (of Earth, for some reason), Kirk and Spock will have an argument, Uhura will have forced extra lines as part of Saldana's contract agreement and it will be in 3D
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: HEY LOOK, DAX IS IN THIS ONE!"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Return of Cox
by Fritzlorrerains
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Red Shirts Revenge!
by Cheif Brody
The Red Shirts unionize and revolt after first destroying the transporter room.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:04 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: RED SHIRT UPRISING"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:05 p.m. CST
Shit, Brody beat me to it.
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:05 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: Dawn of the Rise of the sith machine ape knight-ish.
by cameron
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST
Star 2rek: Galaxy Quest 2
by Billyeveryteen
You know you want it.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:07 p.m. CST
by Shubniggorath
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:07 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: SPOCK LIKES COX"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:08 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: CUT THE KORRD"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:10 p.m. CST
example of simultaneous identical inspiration
by coz
or maybe mental entanglement royston, brody, you've shared something special heh
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:10 p.m. CST
by cameron
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:11 p.m. CST
by cameron
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:11 p.m. CST
star trek: chang me two times
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:12 p.m. CST
star trek: going to tellaria
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:12 p.m. CST
by 3774
If they insist on rehashing something, I at least hope they do something like the Tholians, and give the friggin' Romulans and Klingons a break for once. Asimov is going to have a brain aneurysm right here in this talkback. Grab some popcorn and watch it happen live.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:13 p.m. CST
star trek: borg in the attic
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:13 p.m. CST
drstrangelove: You also get a No-Prize.
by Royston Lodge
There would be milk coming out my nose right now if I was drinking milk.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:15 p.m. CST
oh I can't wait pink
by coz
hopefully I can help ;)
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:16 p.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:16 p.m. CST
star trek: holiday on cardassia
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:17 p.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:18 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: KIRK GETS A RISA"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:18 p.m. CST
I object to them using "Star Trek" for Abrams movies
by Yamato
It's not "Star Trek", its "JJ Abrams version of Star Trek", also known as "Crap Trek"
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:19 p.m. CST
How about: "WHAT HAPPENS ON RISA STAYS ON RISA"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:19 p.m. CST
star trek: miri in the sky with dilithium
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:20 p.m. CST
STAR TREK 2 Ming the Merciless 4 - beg for mercy, it amuses Ming.
by cameron
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:22 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: GORN WITH THE WIND"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:23 p.m. CST
Zoe Saldanna...hottest tit-less chick in Hollywood
by Nasty In The Pasty
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:24 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Earlier Generation
by MonkMayfair
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:25 p.m. CST
star trek: andorian girl
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:25 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: GORN BUT NOT FORGOTTEN"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:26 p.m. CST
star trek: smells like breen spirit
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:27 p.m. CST
How about: "SULU AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM RURA PENTHE"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:29 p.m. CST
star trek: all along the neutral zone
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:30 p.m. CST
STAR TREK 2 : Kirk Bones Spock
by cameron
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:30 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: #OCCUPYFERENGINAR"
by Royston Lodge
1% of the latinum is controlled by 99% of the Ferengi.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:30 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Phase II
by Retlaw Kciuq
Don't need to thank me, J.J. Just get me one of those fancy model Enterprises.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:31 p.m. CST
Why are they dragging their ass?
by Mugato5150
Never a good sign.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:31 p.m. CST
drstrangerlove: That's two No-Prizes for you!
by Royston Lodge
Well done!
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:32 p.m. CST
Star Trek II: The Revenge of Khan
by ShogunMaster
They can finally use the title they wanted to use in the first place..
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:33 p.m. CST
royston lodge, ITHANKYOU!
by cameron
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:34 p.m. CST
star trek: bajor on my mind
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:34 p.m. CST
How about they drop "Star Trek" altogether...
by jimmy_009
...since the movie wasn't actually Star Trek. Call it Star Journey or something, and replace the character's names.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:38 p.m. CST
Star Trek: More of The Same Shit
by bioforge
This you can bet on.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:39 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: REVENGE OF PORTHOS"
by Royston Lodge
Turns out that Scotty beamed Archer's beagle to Borg space...
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:39 p.m. CST
by Mattman
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:39 p.m. CST
STAR TREK 2 : Vgers gotta brand new bag!
by cameron
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:41 p.m. CST
Royston, good one... or THE SEARCH FOR PORTHOS
by Mattman
No wonder Archer banned Scotty to that outpost. He loved that fucking dog... maybe even with his penis.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:42 p.m. CST
so is "AmazeBalls" the new "Excited"
by future help
We're all so EXCITED! That is what EVERY big name Producer or Director says these days. It is such a sell. the wordt was EXCITED to make Trans 2 and 3 or EXCITED to make INDY 4 or Terminator 4 THEY WERE ALL SO EXCITED. shit on us.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:42 p.m. CST
Starer Treker
by kabong
J.J. Abrams again directs from a screenplay by Bob Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof. <p> That says it all, but it was too long for the Subject line.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:42 p.m. CST
by cameron
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:42 p.m. CST
When titles are being repeated, that's when I quit.
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:44 p.m. CST
star trek: I left my heart in sector 001
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:47 p.m. CST
star trek: three times a ferengi
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:49 p.m. CST
by Royston Lodge
I'm just sayin'...
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:50 p.m. CST
star trek: turning klingonese
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:51 p.m. CST
They really should just name the villain Asimov.
by Mattman
In the end, Kirk bends him over, strips off his pants, and goes to town. Asimov: "I would rather die in agony than watch another Abrams Trek!" Kirk: "You got it."
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:51 p.m. CST
by WarrenSmooth
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:52 p.m. CST
You guys really know how to beat a joke to death
by Mugato5150
Do you all write for Family Guy?
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:53 p.m. CST
star trek: hey kang
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:53 p.m. CST
mugato5150, no, but Brian Cox does
by Mattman
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:54 p.m. CST
by chrisd
Although I like In Search of Porthos. >;>}
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:54 p.m. CST
I Just got "Kirk Bones Spock"
by Amusetrubator
That's "sighted sub, sank same" quality. Bravo.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:55 p.m. CST
star trek: mugato be
by coz
just for you man
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:56 p.m. CST
Naming the villain "Asimov"- HAH!
by D.Vader
Or maybe something like "As'mof Leeeves" Hi-larious.
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:57 p.m. CST
or THE KLINGON EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
by chrisd
Oct. 26, 2011, 4:58 p.m. CST
star trek: brown eyed gorn
by coz
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:05 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Star Trekker
by TheSeeker7
Hey, it worked for Die Hard (or did it???)
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:05 p.m. CST
Star Dreck
by Dennis_Moore
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:21 p.m. CST
You better watch that 'titless' hooey.
by 3774
I'll dial up some sisters in the A cup squad, then we'll track you down and beat you to death with whatever's contained your dorky, virgin-pride collection.
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:22 p.m. CST
pink_apocalypse: Can you post the sisters' phone numbers for us all?
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:31 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Kahn Harder
by Michael_Jacksons_Ghost
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:33 p.m. CST
Zach Galifi..... for Harry Mudd
by Phategod2
make it so. or engage.
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:40 p.m. CST
I don't give a fuck what it's called as long as it has Klingons and Borg
by Gigabrian
In my head, it's the perfect sequel. Kirk vs. Borg. Klingon Empire getting assimilated. SPOCK getting assimilated. It'd be brilliant. Won't happen, but I can dream...
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:41 p.m. CST
Star Trek : David is still dead.
by klytusnotdead
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:42 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Romulan Bathhouse
by hst666
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:46 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Empires Strike Back!
by Jake Pantlin
Both the Klingon and Romulan empires strike at the heart of the Federation. Hilarity ensues.
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:47 p.m. CST
Star Trek : Oktoberfest
by Jango
Das engine room ist full of beer !
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:49 p.m. CST
by AzulTool
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:49 p.m. CST
Star Track
by Googam_Son_of_Goom
so all of those folks can finally get it right for a change
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:50 p.m. CST
by AzulTool
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:51 p.m. CST
by AzulTool
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:52 p.m. CST
Ya got me by 46 seconds googam!
by AzulTool
yeah, but yours had more capital letters :)
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:55 p.m. CST
Giamatti - Beard + Porn Stache = Mudd
by ROBRAM89
You know it.
Oct. 26, 2011, 5:56 p.m. CST
I call the last movie Star Trek 2009
by Jaka
That seems to make it clear to all but those who know NOTHING about the movies when having a conversation about them.
Oct. 26, 2011, 6 p.m. CST
cue asimovlives rant in 3... 2...
by dahveed1972
hopefully theres some actual exploration involved. and whatever shit goes down it happens in deep space, far from any starfleet facilities. y know, cuz its called "star trek".
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:02 p.m. CST
I'd love to see no "Star Trek" at all in the title, a la "The Dark Knight."
by hitokirivader
I'm not sure what would work though; there aren't a lot of recognizable-by-mainstream-audiences-as-Star-Trek-without-using-the-term-Star-Trek alternate titles. Maybe something like, "To Boldly Go," or "USS Enterprise."
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:04 p.m. CST
Star Trek: More Lensflare!
by DougMcKenzie
Captain, were burning out the retinas of all the audience! I don't care take the lights up to 14000k!
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:05 p.m. CST
Star Trek Returns
by Martin Hogg
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:05 p.m. CST
Star Trek Begins?
by Martin Hogg
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:05 p.m. CST
Star Trek Forever?
by Martin Hogg
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:05 p.m. CST
No, got it, Star Trek and Robin. And Val Kilmer
by Martin Hogg
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:06 p.m. CST
star trek: the revenge of classic spock
by dahveed1972
star trek: star wars. star trek: bikini world. star trek: triple d. stark trek: the revenge of jared sin. star trek: the end of the beginning. star trek: yup, more time travel. star trek: uhura's stain. star trek: the potion mixture. star trek: zombies!!! star trek: das reboot. star trek: asimov lives!
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:07 p.m. CST
Great minds, Royston...
by Cheif Brody
Great minds.
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:09 p.m. CST
how about simply: STARFLEET
by dahveed1972
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:12 p.m. CST
by blakindigo
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:12 p.m. CST
Id be shocked if "star trek" wasnt in the title.
by dahveed1972
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:13 p.m. CST
I Shat On Your Grave?
by Edman
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:13 p.m. CST
The Cock of Spock?
by Edman
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:14 p.m. CST
Star Trek: More Than the Ears are Pointy?
by Edman
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:14 p.m. CST
Mudds Pants
by Anthony Torchia
Are these the kind that cover your balls or come out of your mouth?
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:14 p.m. CST
J.J. Abrams again directs from a screenplay by Bob Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof.
by kwisatzhaderach
Wow... talk about a shit sandwich.
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:15 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Electric boogaloo
by reaperone
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:15 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Rear Channel Flare
by Edman
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:15 p.m. CST
Star Trek : it's a lion! it's huge!
by Gorgomel
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:15 p.m. CST
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer...You Watched Star Trek: Star Trek 2
by Darth Saruman
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:16 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Brian's Cox
by reaperone
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:17 p.m. CST
Spock's Impulse Power
by Edman
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:17 p.m. CST
Trek II - The Beamin' Years
by Anthony Torchia
More Trek, Less Dreck Star Treks Two Loose Le Trek is it obvious I'm stoned?
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:17 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: But not good like the original Star Trek 2
by kwisatzhaderach
You know, the one that was well written and directed and had a THEME and was ABOUT SOMETHING.
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:18 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Sentinel Prime
by Edman
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:20 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Star Trekkin' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE Star Trekkin' across the universe, On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk. Star Trekkin' across the universe, Only going forward 'cause we can't find reverse. Lt. Uhura, report.
by reaperone
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:21 p.m. CST
amazing lyrics.
by reaperone
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:27 p.m. CST
Star Track is Back!
by Kentucky Colonel
Hell y'awll, that's how we say it 'round here anyway
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:35 p.m. CST
Lens Flares Lens Flares
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:37 p.m. CST
by dahveed1972
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:37 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Now With A Tighter Script So Internet Fanboys Will Shut The Fuck Up!
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:38 p.m. CST
Seriously tho, I really think STARFLEET could work. No?
by dahveed1972
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:38 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Featuring Brand New Music From Limp Bizkit in a Captain Kirk Montage! Reserve You Imax 3d Tickets Now!
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:40 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Enterprises Engine Has Been Replaced By That Cool Thing From Mass Effect! Really We Promise!
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:43 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Star Wars
by Teddy Artery
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:43 p.m. CST
Star Trek: 2012
by WeakThirdAct
Some Trek fanboys from Caltech somehow manage to patch together a working Enterprise from spare JPL parts. They reach escape velocity just as LA is falling into the ocean - not even John Cusack's limo driving skills can save them now. As they sigh with relief (and shed a tear for the cast of Big Bang Theory), and Saturn drifts past the starboard window, they suddenly discover they didn't bring any human females with them. There goes their hope of reseeding the human race with their supergeek DNA (no females came along for the ride because, you know, they're nerds, and they'd prefer to be melted in hot flying lava than be diddled by these guys).
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:46 p.m. CST
by Johnno
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:48 p.m. CST
Speakin of Red Shirts...Something I've always wondered.
by Cheif Brody
Roddenberry never wanted it to be a military based story. These were explorers...researchers...scientists...peacekeepers. <p> You apply to Starfleet...you aren't drafted...you don't volunteer. Perhaps you get recruited, but you get to say "No, thanks" if ya wanna just fuck around on Earth and chill out. It's an Academy...like...a University, right? <p> So...what's stopping all these Red Shirts from saying..."Hey...wait a minute...Fuck you and the green alien bitch you rode in on" everytime Kirk says "Ensign So-And-So, you're beaming down with us into a suicide mission to rescue Uhura"? <p> Sure, ST has always had a covert sense of being slightly military-based...You have Admirals, Captains, 1st Officers and such...so, I suppose climbing up the ranks is a motivator. But, there has never been any reference to these Red Shirts being part of an elite security force....called upon to "get volunteered" for dangerous missions. <p> I always thought of them as poor bastards who were minding their own business...down in engineering....reconfiguring the warp drive...or analyzing alien bacteria through a microscope...or creating detailed maps of the last new world they discovered. You know, using the knowledge they learned at the "Academy" to further mankind. <p> So, how does Kirk get to say "Enney Menny Miny Moe, Ensign Barnaby has to go!". What would happen to ya if they DID say "no"? Ya get sent to the brig for "dereliction of duty"? <p> Sounds like a military operation to me. Perhaps someone more schooled in the Trek-verse can explain to me how Starfleet can have it both ways..."We're more like NASA...not the Marines or the Army". And please don't refer to any novelizations. I want on-screen canon from ANY of the TV franchises or movie versions that might help clarify this. <p> What kinda Academy Oath or Blood Ritual do these Red Shirts take that compels them to HAVE to step into harm's way at the idiot Captain's whim?
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:50 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Spock Lovin' That Cock
by Papa CaveDweller
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:55 p.m. CST
Just leave the words "Star Trek" out entirely, and call it something like "Starship Enterprise". That could work!
by ChickenStu
Oct. 26, 2011, 6:56 p.m. CST
by MrMysteryGuest
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:03 p.m. CST
Why not STAR TREK, TOO!?
by The_Samaritan
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:03 p.m. CST
Star Trek - The Destruction of Jared Syn
by dahveed1972
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:05 p.m. CST
by Jerry Zornes
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:30 p.m. CST
Hope it's better than the first one.... First one made no sense.
by mistergreen
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:30 p.m. CST
spock is gay
by john
wanna see him fuck kirk up the ass
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:31 p.m. CST
Yes, naming the villain "Asimov" would be brilliant.
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Killing him off with a warp engine breach up the ass would be a stroke of sheer magnificence. Search your suppressed Vulcan feelings. You know this to be true.
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:32 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: Lensflares of the Gods
by lv_426
With a special cameo by Eric Von Danikien.
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:34 p.m. CST
Warp Five
by lv_426
Star Trek with Vin Diesel as a Romulan, Paul Walker as a Starfleet officer, and the Rock as a Klingon.
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:35 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: Return of the Cylons
by lv_426
Star Trek fused with Battlestar Galactica bitches!!!!!!!!!!!
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:36 p.m. CST
Star Trek : Attack of the Ass Munchers
by scriptgirl_nipples
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:40 p.m. CST
by Denton56
or STAR TREK: THE SEARCH FOR MORE MONEY!
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:41 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: Xenomorph
by lv_426
The Enterprise sets down on LV-426 on Starfleet orders. Just think of the epic quotes: Assholes and elbows! I love Starfleet. A day in Starfleet is like a day on the farm. Formation and parade, meal's a banquet. Goddamn I love the fleet!!!!! --------- Let me introduce you to a personal friend of mine. This is the X41S Phaser Rifle. Feel the weight. What's this? Oh, that's the miniature photon grenade launcher... I don't think you want to mess with that. --------- Hey Data... do the thing with the knife. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:49 p.m. CST
STAR TREK II: The Wrath of ...................
by lv_426
...........(picture the face of the Shat making a face that looks like he is trying to squeeze out an epic turd loaf)...............................KKKHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (echoes into space) KHAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! (echoes farther into space) KHANNNN!!!!!
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:49 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Wrath of Cox
by Marlboroliteman
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:51 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Search for Cox
by Marlboroliteman
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:54 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Brian Cox was in Alien
by Marlboroliteman
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:56 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: Second Voyage
by lv_426
As in the 2nd voyage of the Enterprise.
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:56 p.m. CST
Star Trek vs Brian Cox: The Motion Picture
by Marlboroliteman
Oct. 26, 2011, 7:57 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Undiscovered Cox
by Marlboroliteman
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:06 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Pointy Headed Cox Hurts Spock then Kirk: The Movie
by Marlboroliteman
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:13 p.m. CST
Anal sex is not logical
by Kentucky Colonel
You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:13 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: Worlds of the Immortals
by lv_426
The crew of the Enterprise comes into contact with a new species of aliens, a race of immortals that have overrun their home star system, as well as many other peaceful star systems to make room for their massive population that never dies off to make room for the next generation. Once they conquered the problem of death, they just kept growing and growing, expanding their empire to make room for more of their kind. To make room for more conquests of glory and power. This new race is hedonistic, enjoying all manner of pleasures and vices. They are also hostile towards all other races, and are a powerful conquering force that believes they are the supreme race in the universe and that the galaxy is theirs for the taking. They are a post scarcity race that was sort of like the Federation long ago, a utopian society that turned ugly and violent towards others unlike them after they developed the technology to allow for their immortality. They could call their alliance, The Preservation. As in a weird sick and twisted way, they preserve life through violence to what they consider lower life forms and societal constructs. It is up to the Enterprise to thwart these vile conquerors and warn Starfleet and the other races of the Federation before it is too late to fight back. I'm actually being serious here. This could be an opportunity to not only introduce a brand new alien race and society to the Star Trek canon (as the J.J. Abrams Star Trek is an alternate universe), but a chance to sort of evaluate the idea of how a utopian society that has pretty much everything it wants, can become too powerful for its own good. This hedonistic alien race of conquerors could sort of be the darkside of what the Federation is with its utopian ideals and equality. The Preservation would have tech and tools of war that are more advanced than the Federation, but not so much more that the fight is too unbalanced. I'm thinking a happy medium between Starfleet-level and Borg-level technology. I don't know if that exact concept has been done in Star Trek (God only knows how many plots have already been exhausted by all the expanded-universe stuff like Star Trek comic books, novels, video games, etc.), but I think it would be an interesting place to take this second Star Trek in the rebooted series. It would give them the chance to have plenty of action, ship to ship battles, espionage, intrigue, a ticking clock, plus some cool new aliens to fight instead of rehashing stuff we've seen a shitload of times before. My 2 cents at least.
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:13 p.m. CST
Star Trek: All Bad Things....
by Joaquin_Ondamoon
That's all I got...
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:20 p.m. CST
Spock's prick is green
by Kentucky Colonel
FACT. Confirmed by Roddenberry on the "Inside Star Trek" Long Player. FACT FACT FACT!!!
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:20 p.m. CST
Star Trek: All Bad Things....
by Joaquin_Ondamoon
I got nothin'...
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:20 p.m. CST
Star Trek:Double Post
by Joaquin_Ondamoon
Fucking website sux Cox....
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:22 p.m. CST
Star Trek:The Voyage Homo
by Joaquin_Ondamoon
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:23 p.m. CST
After a while, you might find...
by Kentucky Colonel
that having anal sex is not as pleasing a thing as wanting anal sex. It is not logical, but it is often true. Just ask my wife!
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:25 p.m. CST
cheif brody, I'm not even a Trekkie...
by Darkman
...but you make some interesting points. Anybody want to help the cheif out? <br><br> And to the person who posted 'Zoe Saldana as Spock's Beard'...you are a fucking genius.
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:25 p.m. CST
Red shirts...
by CaptainBass
As zombies are the "in thing" at the moment why not have a zombie red shirt who fucked up on a mission, accidentally killing some important federation dignitaries headed for vital peace talks with the Klingons. Now he's back and looking to make amends... STAR TREK: DEAD RED REDEMPTION I'll get me coat...
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:28 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Voyage Homo....
by Joaquin_Ondamoon
Spock and Company travel back in time to San Franscisco to hump some whales.
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:28 p.m. CST
Better Dead Than Red Shirt!
by Kentucky Colonel
or is that a temporal violation? A -kill your grandfather- paradox?
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:32 p.m. CST
I will be disappointed is asimovlives doesn't get a shout out in it.
by blackwood
Hopefully as a red shirt. I think he's earned that much. I'm excited for a sequel. Dug the hell out of the first one. Fun film. Now I want them to pull back from the spectacle and tell a great story -- like CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER. STAR TREK, despite it's new flash and tight butts, should still be about ideas, first.
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:36 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: ENSIGN FROGURT"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:37 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: A QUANTUM TORPEDO OF SOLACE"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:38 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: SAAVIK VS. VALERIS"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:42 p.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: SPOCK'S WORMHOLE"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:47 p.m. CST
Here's a reality show: 'Klingon Pickers'
by Tom
They want to poke around in your basement - And they WON'T take 'no' for an answer!
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:48 p.m. CST
Two Fat Ladies...
by Tom
And A Klingon!
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:51 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Search for Spocks Socks.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Dirt laundry anyone?
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:53 p.m. CST
To Boldly Go
by Prof. Pop-Cult
Either that or "Beam Me Up!" -- maybe they are aiming for some symbolic title.
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:54 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Voyage Down Under.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Paul Hogan has Kirks lost Uncle..
Oct. 26, 2011, 8:55 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Wrath of Shatner.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
No cameo = revenge.
Oct. 26, 2011, 9 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country Song.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Toby Keith and Billy Ray Cyrus force the galaxy to watch Nascar 24/7.
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:01 p.m. CST
The 700 Club with Khan Noonien Singh
by Tom
'From Hell's heart I stab at thee, Planned Parenthood!'
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:02 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Final Milkyway Bar.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:04 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Search for Spock's Heterosexuality
by Devilboi
..My understanding is he loses it some time after the first one?
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:13 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Quest For More Money
by Charlie
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:15 p.m. CST
Faux Trek
by successor
<br>Star Bang Boom Kapow Kablooey Kablammo!</br> <br>Star Trek: The Search for Gay Sex</br> <br>Star Trek: The Search for a Good Plot</br> <br>Star Trek: Plot Holes</br> <br>To Boldly Blow</br>
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:15 p.m. CST
by ass clown
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:18 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Who Mourns For Stephanopolous?
by Tom
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:18 p.m. CST
Star Trek in Space
by T 1000 xp professional
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:21 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Wrath of Harlan Ellison
by RogueWarrior65
The writers supposedly "steal" a story supposedly invented by Harlan Ellison and an epic CGI legal battle ensues.
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:21 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Keep Tha Change Ya FILTHY ANIMAL!
by Tom
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:21 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2DD
by T 1000 xp professional
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:23 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Sequel
by T 1000 xp professional
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:24 p.m. CST
by robogeek.com
Come on, people, was that really so hard?
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:25 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Watch Me
by T 1000 xp professional
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:27 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Object Replacement Character
by Tom
In a bid to more abstruse that ST:TMP...
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:28 p.m. CST
Choppah, stop. I'm laughing so hard my side hurts. Holy jumping Moses.
by Darth_Kong
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:30 p.m. CST
Asimovlives, what upsets you most? (a) The Ban-Hammer (b) Brian Cox (c) Planty McPlanterton (d) Jar Jar Abrams directing Star Trek 2
by Darth_Kong
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:31 p.m. CST
Star Trek: I'm Off To Make A Sandwich and Play Gran Turismo.
by Tom
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:32 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Sequel to the Best Star Wars Movie Since Empire Strikes Back
by Cruizer Dave
Oct. 26, 2011, 9:47 p.m. CST
Fuck this movie. We need Trek on tv.
by SmokingRobot
Wait four years for a two hour movie? FUCK THAT. I want more Trek, FUCKER - Roy Batty.
Oct. 26, 2011, 10 p.m. CST
ST:Enterp-Rises @ ST:Kirk Bones Spock for the win
by Turingtestee
Sorry Royston
Oct. 26, 2011, 10 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Rise of the Planet of Revenge of the Redshirts
by kabong
They flunked Starfleet Academy calculus . . . so this time, it's personal.
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:02 p.m. CST
I'll bet on something simple like Star Trek:ST2
by Turingtestee
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:21 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Ass to Mouth is Okay!
by Dark Doom
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:23 p.m. CST
Star Trek II; The Wrath of Buckwheat
by Dark Doom
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:26 p.m. CST
And, seriously...Do Red Shirts even get PAID?
by Cheif Brody
If so...it's gotta be a HUGE chunk of space change to get me to beam down with fuckin' Kirk...ANYWHERE! <p> What's the UPSIDE of bein a Red Shirt? Can't some Trek Nerd explain it to me?
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:27 p.m. CST
Star Trek II: "To Boldly Go" wow that sounds like gay porn..
by Dark Doom
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:45 p.m. CST
Star Trek II: Revenge of the Fallen
by Winston Smith
I mean this is Orci and Kurtzman, right?
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:45 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Trek through the Stars
by nora inu
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:45 p.m. CST
Star Trek:Brian Cox Spock
by DrMorbius
drstrangepork wins the threa with ... STAR TREK 2: Kirk Bones Spock 2nd, roystonlodge ... GORN WITH THE WIND
Oct. 26, 2011, 10:58 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 2 3D
by Xen11
: The Final Chapter: In Hell: X: The Beginning
Oct. 26, 2011, 11 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Watch Your Hippy Ass In Oakland!
by Tom
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:02 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: The Search for Boner
by BigTuna
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:03 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Spock Marries Kirk
by brocknroll
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:04 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2 Should Open with George Takei Masturbating in the Shower...
by BigTuna
Because Brad has gotten fat and doesn't give it to George more than once a week.
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:14 p.m. CST
The idea of a gay Vulcan has a lot of dramatic story potential
by BoyNamedSue
If Spock felt shame for messing around with women, then imagine how taboo ish it would be for him to have feelings for another man.
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:18 p.m. CST
turingtestee: You'll get no argument from me...
by Royston Lodge
Kirk Bones Spock is utter genius.
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:25 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Electric Borgaloo
by ReportAbuse
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:31 p.m. CST
I've been gone for 2 weeks on a Hawai'ian cruise...
by conspiracy
and I come back to this! Let the feast of Talkback mayhem begin!!!!!
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:33 p.m. CST
Before I invest 15 minutes..let me try something...
by conspiracy
"Get out of there Jim, he's gonna blow!" cried out Bones as the captain hurriedly withdrew his green slathered member from the depths of Spocks glory hole.
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:38 p.m. CST
Hey conspiracy
by Queefer Sutherland
Are you saying that Spock has some pretty nasty hemorrhoids?
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:45 p.m. CST
Call it Star Trek In Name Only 2
by KilliK
it will fit better the movie.
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:47 p.m. CST
Am i the only one who is fed up with all those actors
by KilliK
who keep proclaiming how great the script of their movie is ,although they dont even have it in their hands?
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:49 p.m. CST
@conspiracy and i was wondering where you had been all this time.
by KilliK
did you have a great time? did you do any good fucking ala conspiracy way?
Oct. 26, 2011, 11:51 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Trouble With Tribbing
by Charles Calthrop
With Rachel Nichols as the twin sister of her character from the last one.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:09 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Requiem.
by Playkins
It will be about the fallout of the destruction of Vulcan, and Spock will get emotional. Again. Mark my words.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:15 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Insurrection
by Keith
It's a shot for shot remake of Star Trek's finest moment, but takes place inside a holodeck. Chris Pine plays Kirk who plays Picard. Inside the holodeck.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:20 a.m. CST
Star Trek Goo: Kirk's Splooge
by ass clown
Now, that's a title.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:22 a.m. CST
"Bob...what the fuck...snap out of it..." Alex Kurtzman said in a raised voice...
by conspiracy
Roberto looked tired, it had been days since he had slept, but the vision kept repeating every night filling waking him within minutes of drifting off; he wanted to weep. "I know Alex…I know…dios mio" Hollywood's current go-to screenwriter replied, "I can't help it…I uh…I can't sleep…this script is killing me. I promise…I'll get it taken care of, I won't let you down." Roberto sighed, "I can't tell him…can't let him know." He thought to himself. Kurtzman stared hard at his longtime partner before grabbing him by his turtleneck, "No Bob…you don't get it. You're writing is making US look bad to the studio and to JJ…and not because it's BAD. Fuck Roberto 'BAD' is what we built this business on." Alex almost screamed. "And here you are wasting time trying to make the script 'work". Bob, you KNOW there is no money in Quality… we don't make the money and keep getting jobs by writing fucking logical, sensible, respectable shit, and WE write for the money" Kurtzman continued; "retards, dropouts, folks who just want to see shit blow up, look cool, and maybe a little fucking leg…THAT is our audience buddy…and almost a year into this shit, months past a 70 page treatment and you're rewriting? What happened did the ghost of Shakespeare visit you in the night and shoot a load of respectability in your ass? Well let me tell ya…Shakespeare never had a $15k a month mortgage...I DO. Who gives a fuck if it doesn't 'work' or make sense. IT'S not Supposed to make SENSE Roberto…it's supposed to make the mouth breathers happy and put new tits on my mistress; just finish it up the fuck up already!" Alex stormed from the dimly lit room, slamming the door; Bob could hear the engine of Alex's Porsche as it roared off into the cool Los Angeles evening. "Maybe….maybe I'll try and sleep again, get these thoughts out of my head" Bob thought as he moved towards a low couch, "maybe this time they won't come." Within seconds Roberto began to drift into a deep slumber, he felt himself crossing over into it…welcoming the much needed oblivion of sleep. "Aaaaaa…aaaaaa…clank…clank…" Bob heard them before he saw them, but he knew what they were, he had seen them before. He stood and walked over to the window and opened it…mountainous volumes of finished scripts flew through the open window, a careers worth of work flying in the air to the ground below. Roberto could not stop himself, his actions were not his own; he looked down and saw the thing that had kept him up for months, made him doubt his path and pushed him to writing in ways he would have allowed himself too before….GOATS. Below him thousands and thousands of long haired long horned Portuguese goats…their bells clanking as they devoured his life's work, their tinny bellows filled the air…"aaaaa…aaaaa". Roberto tried to turn away but couldn't, tried to move but found himself transfixed as the ever growing number of shaggy creatures voraciously munched the reams of paper; a voiced called out from them. "HACK…JAR JAR ABRAMS LAPDOG… SHIT WRITER…SOULESS STUDIO STOOGE….ABAMS COCK SUCKING HAAAACK!!!!!" Suddenly Roberto found he could move…and found himself running down the hallway, he dared to look over his shoulder; behind him goats ran in a thundering mass, the pages of his scripts dangling from their mouths, and on the back of the largest black goat in the lead a hairy, wild eyed man driving it forward…"Hack!!!!" he screamed, "Haaaaack!!!!!" Roberto urged himself faster, he felt the sweat dripping down his face, the smell of the goats filled his nostrils…"I'll do better…I Swear….I'll do better...My God please I swear I WILL WRITE BETTER FROM NOW ON!" Roberto Orci woke as his body hit the floor, around him unfinished pages of Star Trek 2 littered the floor…sweat drenched his clothes; he looked at his watch…only 10 minutes had passed. He felt his body shake, adrenaline rushed through him, he thought he could smell the faint smell of goats in the air; he curled unto a fetal position. "Asimov…" was all he could manage to whisper…
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:27 a.m. CST
Killik...No lunatic Fucking...I went with my wife...lol
by conspiracy
However the ship was staffed with numerous insanely sexy Slav women, and THIS looney bitch was a passenger along with her 50yr old Chinese Hubby...and yes...she dresses like a total whore at all times and smells incredible. http://www.youtube.com/user/InessaLee Next trip will be SOLO...I'll make u all proud then.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:27 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Cloverfield pt 2
by orryn
Featuring a giant sea monster... make it happen.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:32 a.m. CST
Where is Asimov...where is boborci?
by conspiracy
It isn't a Trek Talkback without them....
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:45 a.m. CST
Boborci needs to get drunk first.
by The_Dark_Shite
He only shows up when he's been on the sauce.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:49 a.m. CST
STAR TREK : Rise Of The.... ah fuggedit.
by Se7en
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:56 a.m. CST
Star Vagina, Where no Spock has gone before...
by Pipple
cumming soon
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:33 a.m. CST
Star Trek
by Audio_of_Being
They should just do another timeline reboot and call it Star Trek again. Problem solved! Plus, they should really not rip off George Lucas again.
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:40 a.m. CST
How about STAR TREK : THE STAR WARS
by V'Shael
because what's JJ did with his version. He made a Star Wars type movie with Trek character names.
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:42 a.m. CST
Star Trek R Treat
by bobbyjoe
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:49 a.m. CST
It's Five Year Mission
by Dreamfasting
Scripts: the final frontier. These are the rewrites of the franchise Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new drafts, to seek out new action and new exposition, to boldly go where no plot has gone before.
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:01 a.m. CST
The Final Frontier
by Chris
Wouldn't it be much cooler if it didn't have Star Trek in the title (a la The Dark Knight)?
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:05 a.m. CST
First Blood Part II - Rambo
by Mr_P
nuff said. Think it is anything else then you're an ass
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:26 a.m. CST
conspiracy & dark_shite
by OptimusBob
It's a solid western, until the aliens show up. Why are there aliens and spaceships in a western?
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:29 a.m. CST
ignore that theres something wrong with the TB. missed about 2 3rds of my post
by OptimusBob
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:37 a.m. CST
I'll try that again...
by OptimusBob
boborci's probably somewhere weepin into his Appletini about the critical disaster that was Cowboys & Aliens. (Have no idea how it did commercially.) I actually liked it, read a couple of reviews and the main complaint from both was: It's a solid western, until the aliens show up. Why would they put aliens and spaceships in a western? Clue is in the title of the movie. (Hopefully this time, the whole thing will post....)
Oct. 27, 2011, 4:06 a.m. CST
If the cast look five years older in the sequel it's because they just got back from a five year mission.
by SiouxCitySarsaparilla
Oct. 27, 2011, 4:29 a.m. CST
Asi, blink twice if you can hear me.
by Darth_Kong
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:07 a.m. CST
@conspiracy hehe at least you got some eye candy with the slav chicks.
by KilliK
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:21 a.m. CST
and once again conspiracy owned the topic with his
by KilliK
hilarious short stories.where is asi and orci to read it? ;)
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:21 a.m. CST
Star Trek 2: The Federation Strikes Back
by KilliK
you know it.
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:46 a.m. CST
Star Trek: The search for Tiger Blood
by Gringo30
Oct. 27, 2011, 6:16 a.m. CST
St2r Tr2k
by Time Duncan
Oct. 27, 2011, 7:04 a.m. CST
Why Would It EVER Be Called Star Trek 2
by FloristGump
When its Star Trek 12? They should do the TNG era thing and call it Star Trek:'Whatever', but numerically it's 12. It wasn't the usual reboot, it's a continuation in a different timeline.
Oct. 27, 2011, 7:34 a.m. CST
STAR TREK: The Phantom Menace
by JudeNWM
Oct. 27, 2011, 7:45 a.m. CST
Star Trek: $$100,000,000 straight in the shitter. why reboot something that sucked ass to begin with?
by darth nihilus
Oct. 27, 2011, 7:48 a.m. CST
..well, it's aliens, so we could just kinda do anything we want, like when Batman always had the right gadget in his belt to escape danger..
by darth nihilus
Oct. 27, 2011, 7:50 a.m. CST
How come no one ever mentions movies when people talk about the poor? it will cost at least 100,00,000 million to make this steaming turd, i could spend that so much better, like hookers
by darth nihilus
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:13 a.m. CST
S2arr 2r2ck 2 S2ar 2r2ckerr2st
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:17 a.m. CST
by SmokieGeezer
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:18 a.m. CST
by John Baker
I beg you Sir... PLEASE copy your short stories down online somewhere. A blog or something. It doesn't matter where as long as they are safely posted away from this site, so in case the AICN archives are ever erased or lost, there will be secure copies for future generations. Your stories are one of the few remaining highlights of this site, and the hope of finding one buried like a gem in these talkbacks is one of the only reasons I still come here.
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:19 a.m. CST
FUCK THIS SHIT, I'll be watching 1979 Blu Ray Motion Picture on Opening Day with a Doobie
by SmokieGeezer
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:21 a.m. CST
I want Trek on TV too
by proevad
but let's get real. Enterprise and Voyager both sucked so bad--their stink have probably fucked that up for at least another decade.
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:22 a.m. CST
AND......If you CGI The Gorn......Get Ready For Some John Matrix Revenge Mission From Me.........Hollywood CUNTS
by SmokieGeezer
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:23 a.m. CST
I actually wrote a "Star Trek" story treatment once.
by notcher
I thought it was pretty badass. Yes, I used Khan, however I changed his story around and had him marooned on a planet for trying to begin a war with the Klingons. I made Khan an old school Federation Captain. Years later he takes over the Enterprise and starts destroying Klingon ships and enters their space and blows up one of their docking stations and ultimately starts a war between the federation and The Klingon empire and World War 1 in space. I thought it was cool. I pictured Christopher Lee playing the old Khan, and the planet he's marooned on makes him young again. Anyway, thought I'd share that. Any news is good news to me. BRING IT!!!
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:23 a.m. CST
Shatner has to be the villain in one of these next new movies
by proevad
I mean c'mon. Bill is too good of an actor, is alive, and this seems like a no brainer.
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:48 a.m. CST
STar Trek: Don't Be Such A Herbert!
by mdk
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:49 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Bang Bang On The Head!
by mdk
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:15 a.m. CST
"It Won't Be Called STAR TREK 2" I wouldn't call it that, anyway.
by AsimovLives
I'm the guy who always call this movies Abrams Trek... when i feel nice about them. So, no biggie for me.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:18 a.m. CST
Zoe Saldana: "We still haven't gotten a script yet" . She must be talking about the first movie.
by AsimovLives
That one didn't got a script either, and still they made a movie. So what's their problem? They are used to shit out movies without a scripts, they have experience in that, so what's stopping them? Get on with it already!
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:19 a.m. CST
"Simon Pegg (...) tweeted in February that "word on the bridge is the new script is AMAZEBALLS"
by AsimovLives
That means the new movie is amazingly balls. And when somebody claims something to be balls, it means it's terrible. Amazingly terrible, then? No suprise.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:22 a.m. CST
"Saldana doesn't even know if Uhura and Spock are still an item" They never were. The item was always NuKirky and Gayspock.
by AsimovLives
Uhura was just Gayspock's way to make NuKirky jealous. It worked.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:23 a.m. CST
"J.J. Abrams again directs from a screenplay by Bob Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof." Lies. The first movie didn't had a script.
by AsimovLives
Shit writen in a napkin doesn't count as a script.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:25 a.m. CST
Abrams Trek: Kirk Heart Spock.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:27 a.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:28 a.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:39 a.m. CST
STAR TREK: FUCK ME IN THE ASS ... subtle aint it?
by OptimusBob
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:44 a.m. CST
Haters will Hate, Lenses will Flare, JJ Abrams will make a perfectly watchable Star Trek movie.
by Nerfee
That's an old subject line from some other ST TB, and yet it bears repeating. In Fact, I think the whole world loves JJTrek, except for six guys on the internet.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:46 a.m. CST
Star Trek Two-elve...
by zol
The human adventure continues...
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:48 a.m. CST
by OptimusBob
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:49 a.m. CST
by OptimusBob
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:50 a.m. CST
Star Trek The Next Desecration
by Autodidact
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:50 a.m. CST
Abrams Trek: NuKirk Gets His Ass Kicked By Everybody Again.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:50 a.m. CST
by OptimusBob
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:52 a.m. CST
Abrams Tre: Spock Angsts And Cries About Mommy Again
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:52 a.m. CST
by OptimusBob
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:54 a.m. CST
wrath_of_spidercoz, great minds think alike.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:56 a.m. CST
Abrams Trek:Kirk Bones Spock (this title was inspired by amusetrubator's post - credits where due)
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:57 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
It took longer then you expected?
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:57 a.m. CST
Star Trek: The Naked Phaser - Part Duex and 1/2
by MoneyGrabSequel
The First Generation!
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:58 a.m. CST
Star Trek Ultra
by UltraTron
Sam Jackson is captain now. Boldly Go Mutherfucker!
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:02 a.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
Lens flares are a meta stylistic addition that calls attention to the fact that this is a film being shot by a camera. In a fantasy or science fiction film it is of utmost importance to maintain the suspension of disbelief that comes with traditional continuity filmmaking. Anything that calls attention to the fact that you are watching a movie, i.e. lens flares, takes you right out of the imaginary world that the film is trying to create. Therefore, unless you are making a mockumentary scifi film where the action being captured by camera is part of the story there SHOULD BE NO FREAKIN' LENS FLARES! Furthermore, I would argue that lens flares should only exist in a film when they naturally occur via the photography. Adding lens flare in post is lazy and very iMovie amateur home movie. Also, having lens flares occur in space assumes that there is a camera in space that is capturing the spaceships in action. But, we all know that this is cgi animation and NO CAMERA is involved. MAKES NO DAMN SENSE anyway you look at it!
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:02 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Belgian Politics!
by Tom
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:04 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Federation, FUCK YEAH
by Lamerz
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:06 a.m. CST
How about a good marketing driven title
by Lamerz
Star Trek: This Shit's Gonna Kick Some Ass
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:08 a.m. CST
Star Trek: The Disappearing TB Posts!
by Tom
Spock... Thesepeoplekeep... losing... thethingstheyTYPE! Andthenthey... typeitout and repost it AGAIN! And thenthere's TWO... Spock... TWO! Identical posts! Andthentheyfeel... like ASSHOLES!
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:09 a.m. CST
Star Trek: A Better Future Than This Shithole
by Lamerz
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:11 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Borg Begins Khan Rises Q Returns Mudd's Forever Revenge
by Lamerz
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:11 a.m. CST
Star Trek Ultra
by UltraTron
is a new generation of Startrek set in the 26th century and featuring new technology and galactic adventure beyond anything we have seen. The enterprise can transform and breakup into several vehicles for battle. The shuttles can transform into shuttle/mechs. There's silly level tech everywhere. Silly-level is the best level because it's beyond ludicrous level. The bridge has Holodeck viewing where there are no walls and panoramic views. The women are now naked from having been in charge of the universe for years(?). There's a tiki lounge on the bridge in one of the cubicles. There's no rubber midget suits allowed in the 26th century. Away teams now fly over the surface of planets with antigravity suits and completely cloaked. Their suits are shielded and contain weaponry like transport disruption. Transport disruption locks on to every enemy in the area and just scatters their molecules. There's a mud wrestling pit for the women on the lido deck. There's- get this!- robots! Go figure. And best of all- none of this cool shit will ever exist outside UltraTron's imagination. It will never be be-spoiled by pathetic filmmakers with a serious lack of vision. Don't have a script yet? Really? Well how much do you want to bet that what we get is nowhere near my previously posted Startrek Ultra screenplay. A billion dollars? I'll bet a billion dollars that it doesn't scratch the ass hairs of my idea
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:11 a.m. CST
by Lamerz
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:12 a.m. CST
lamerz, I think your on to something
by THE_CHOPPAH
I'd love to see Matt and Trey give the Thunderbirds treatment to Star Trek.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:13 a.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:14 a.m. CST
Ultratron - The Enterprise can transform and break into separate vehicles?
by Lamerz
Star Trek: Voltron FUCK YEAH.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:16 a.m. CST
I wish Abrams would add the Cat Chick and the Giacometti sculpture looking alien from the ST cartoon to the next movie
by THE_CHOPPAH
NewKirk banging Cat Chick = asses in seats.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:20 a.m. CST
Lens flares add to the disbelief, choppah.
by Tom
You're not supposed to be aware of the CGI, that's the whole point. ' 'Also, having lens flares occur in space assumes that there is a camera in space that is capturing the spaceships in action' ' The feeling of a 'camera in space' is *exactly* the impression we're supposed to get. It plays with what you know unconsciously about the phenomenon of light hitting a camera lense, to trick your brain. I think it works brilliantly. I also suspect that a lot of fanboys are just demonstrating their knowledge of the words 'lens flare'. The extent to which dudes' brains work that way cannot be underestimated.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:21 a.m. CST
Yeah and how that transport disruption I just invented off the top of my head?
by UltraTron
That shit would be balls nasty. You could have something go wrong with it and it splatters fools instead of gracefully spreading their molecules. There should be a nice Italian deli on the ship somewhere as well
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:21 a.m. CST
by UltraTron
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:22 a.m. CST
Thunderbirds Matt and trey take would be perfect
by UltraTron
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:22 a.m. CST
dammit. my brain, however...
by Tom
..still fails to grasp basic distinctions Re: underestimated/overestimated.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:25 a.m. CST
Everytime I see the Budweiser kegs with computer tables set in front of them in the first one- I think I shit a little bit in my mouth.
by UltraTron
It's hard to do. It's like puking in your mouth only you are so disgusted that your internal organs literally re-arrange themselves to allow for shit.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:36 a.m. CST
by OptimusBob
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:36 a.m. CST
by NADO
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:39 a.m. CST
Now that Spock is gay I'm wondering if I'll get the Anne Heche effect.
by UltraTron
When she was a lesbian starring opposite ford in that one movie I just didn't buy the romance. Now that she's flopped back I bet I could enjoy that film. If he kisses Saldana in the next film I'll try really hard not to imagine a man's shit on his lips from all that heavy rimming he's into. I still can buy cruise and spacey because they have the decency to keep that shit in the closet. I kid. I couldn't give a fuck who fucks who. But I really hope the new superman isn't gay because he looks like a terrific role model. And let's face it. If everyone where gay there would be no people. Sure sure we got 7 billion you say. Well most of those are just shit. Just useless and completely using up all the good water. Obviously most of them will have to die. We need a race of supermen to replace them. A race of UltraMen. Because I am the biggest asshole and just say whatever the fuck I want- I nominate me as their leader.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:42 a.m. CST
by UltraTron
My Spock post either got deleted or bugged out somehow. Don't bash the fags kids
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:53 a.m. CST
STAR TREK: Repeal DADT
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:54 a.m. CST
boborci can't come to the TB right now
by kabong
He's busy copying elements from scripts that he can plug into the next Abrams Trek script.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:55 a.m. CST
I hope boborci doesn't come to this TB and read that
by kabong
He seems like a nice fellow.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:57 a.m. CST
Took a half hour for that post to show up. Weird.
by UltraTron
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:57 a.m. CST
So now that Spock is gay....
by knowthyself
Oct. 27, 2011, 11 a.m. CST
Abrams Trek: The Search For A Script.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:06 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
It would need for Abrams, Orci, Kurtzman and Lindeoff to magically overnight turn into Christopher and Jonathan Nolan level of filmmakers. And they aren't. And magic doesn't exist.
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:08 a.m. CST
nerfee, Abrams made a perfectly watchable Star Trek movie? When did that happen?
by AsimovLives
Did Abrams made another ST movie between his first and Super 8? Or right after Super 8? And why i haven't heard of it? Because certainly the ST first movie he made isn't that.
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:10 a.m. CST
Abrams Trek: Abrams Fucks Star Trek In The Ass... Again.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:17 a.m. CST
Not that I like saying this - but I'll lay bucks that Nimoy will be dead before this one hits screens
by Professor_Monster
If it goes as it always has - the cast always stops doing conventions right before the angels come to take hem away.
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:18 a.m. CST
Let's hope Kirk's brother who ran away from home returns in this one as Racer X
by Professor_Monster
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:18 a.m. CST
Monty Python and the Holy Trek?
by dihay
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:22 a.m. CST
Quinto is gay you fucking retarded mouth breathers
by coz
And so what? Like gay actors can only play gay characters? What, are you in fucking junior high? And while I'm at it, who give a shit about whoever's sex life? I really couldn't give a fuck less about anyone's activities unless I happen to be involved. Goddamn, you assholes must be the reason Us Weekly still gets published. Do you watch movies and tv just to imagine all the people the stars have fucked and in what positions? Christ on a cock, it's like it's 1974 in here. You buncha salacious, small-minded dipshits.
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:25 a.m. CST
"A Good Day to Star Trek"
by Dogmatic
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:25 a.m. CST
Star Trek Rises
by Dogmatic
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:25 a.m. CST
Star Trek Returns
by Dogmatic
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST
Star Trek 2D
by Dogmatic
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST
Star Trek Lives
by Dogmatic
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST
Star Trek With a Vengeance
by Dogmatic
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Trek Harder
by Dogmatic
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:45 a.m. CST
How about: "STAR TREK: FIVE YEAR MISSION"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:46 a.m. CST
How about: "SPACE: EXCITING AND NEW"
by Royston Lodge
Oct. 27, 2011, 11:51 a.m. CST
who says "the third Star Wars"?
by Holodigm
call it by which episode it is, duh.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:04 p.m. CST
by OptimusBob
chill the fuck out man...freedom of speech and all that shite...
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:12 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Silence! In The Library of ATOZ
by wtriker1701
May as well be a Silent movie...
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:15 p.m. CST
Star Trek - The Doomsgay Machine
by wtriker1701
Sorry, Quinto... it HAD to come out...
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:17 p.m. CST
Star Trek - 42
by wtriker1701
All questions answered on all hailing frquencies!
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:21 p.m. CST
Abrasm Trek: Piss, Shit and Lens Flares.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST
Bride Of Star Trek
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST
Son Of Star Trek
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST
House Of Star Trek
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST
Horror Of Star trek
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:24 p.m. CST
Hound Of Star Trek
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:24 p.m. CST
The Scars Of Star Trek
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:24 p.m. CST
The Death Of Star Trek
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:24 p.m. CST
Star Trek Ressurection
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:25 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Season Of The Shit
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:26 p.m. CST
Asi, you never know
by THE_CHOPPAH
A room full of monkeys with typewriters will eventually produce Shakespeare. I, like you, believe that the next Trek will be crap, but if it somehow turns out to be decent will you be able to admit it?
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:27 p.m. CST
asi is here? NEO-AICN JUST E-X-P-L-O-D-E.
by KilliK
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:27 p.m. CST
Star "Wars" Trek
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:29 p.m. CST
by KilliK
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:40 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: Yeah well. Like. That's your opinion.. Man.
by UltraTron
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:44 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Children of the Gorn
by empty_headed_animal
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:50 p.m. CST
I actually hope the next Trek IS better folks...really.
by conspiracy
As Choppah alluded too...If for no other reason than the law of averages Bob, Alex and that Other guy will eventually turn out a professional story and script. And honestly...I believe they really do try; its just that the standard the general public accept have fallen so far that what passes for "good" today wouldn't have made it as a script for Warner Bros. cartoon in the 40's and 50's. How can you tell these guys they "suck" when with a few exceptions the vast majority or people can't wait to throw $ at them? Really, if I was making 7 figures a year writing...would I even realize I was churning out an inferior product...the numbers, my peers, and the constant development deals sure don't point to it. No...I do not like much of their output so far...it is base, silly and many times seems released incomplete ...and it sure as fuck isn't art. But I also understand why things are not improving in cinema....; Seriously...would today's 18-40yr old movie goer sit still for something like Chinatown, or the Godfather, or even Close Encounters? I don't dislike Bob and Co....actually respect him on a personal level for engaging with the audience...and I hope they finally make something that isn't an insult on some level to watch; but there really is no impetus for them to change the way they write and operate at this point.
Oct. 27, 2011, 12:54 p.m. CST
Star Trek : Strange Brew or We're sorry for the Brewery Engine Room, We Ran Over Budget
by empty_headed_animal
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:06 p.m. CST
I know how to make Asimov's head explode
by Jaka
Ron Howard directs an Abramsverse Trek movie. Ha!
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:06 p.m. CST
Star Trek Too, starring Jason Bateman
by dale dragon
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:06 p.m. CST
by coz
freedom of speech does not excuse idiocy or being a dick
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:09 p.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Upgrading Abrams Trek from shit to mediocrity? Some would call that an improvement. I wouldn't be impressed, though.
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:13 p.m. CST
by AsimovLives
I'm the guy who admits that parts of SUPER 8 were really really good. I'm the guy who loves JACOB'S LADDER to death even though i loathed all the movies that Adrian Lynn had made before. If Abrams Trek Two proves to be good, then i'll say it's good. Do i beleive that will happen? Do i believe that icecream can't melt in hell? One thousand monkeys could produce Shakespeare. It would take all of Orci, Kurtzman, Lindoff and Abrams multiplied by a 1000 to make the equivalent of the Nolan's brothers toilet's paper after a shit. So no, i'm not optimistic those 4 assclowns can make a good Star Trek movie. It all starts with the fact this 4 clowns don't give a fuck about ST, anyway.
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:15 p.m. CST
Abrams Trek: More Brewery
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:15 p.m. CST
Abrasm Trek: Brewer's Revenge
by AsimovLives
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:27 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: ASIMOV v. BOBORCI -- TO THE DEATH!
by Chris Moody
I would pay $100 to see it.
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:30 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: OLD TREK v. NEW ALTERED TIMELINE TREK
by Chris Moody
Advantage: New Trek. The old Trekkers are too old and feeble to put their pants and girdles properly. Come to think of it, so are the old Trekkies. And, of course, landing a punch would shatter their bones. :-P
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:36 p.m. CST
by Chris Moody
Kirk goes where "no man has gone before" (a virgin Carol Marcus) played by Bob Orci's incredibly hot sister, Courtney Ford. The movie centers on the conception and birth of David and the inspiration for the Genesis ("Kirk") torpedo.
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:37 p.m. CST
by OptimusBob
you're the dick... dick.
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:42 p.m. CST
by Chris Moody
From Season 3 Episode 1: Captain Kirk pursues aliens who have stolen Spock's brain...and inputted sexual desires for other men....in an attempt to destroy the Vulcan race (so they don't reproduce). Kirk finds Spock's brain...places it back in his head...but decides to leave the homosexual desires so that Kirk will finally have a shot at Uhura. :-)
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:46 p.m. CST
yet another mind-blowing bit of wisdom from optimusbob
by coz
got any more chunks of insight, oh great sage of the talkbacks?
Oct. 27, 2011, 1:59 p.m. CST
Spidercoz, you a chick or a dude?
by OptimusBob
'cos you sound (well, type) hot...
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:21 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: Fondle My Alien Ballz
by smudgewhat
STAR TREK: First Ejaculation STAR TREK: I Love Your Tits You Green Bitch STAR TREK: Load Blower STAR TREK: Bend Over For My Enterprise STAR TREK: Let's Get Naked STAR TREK: Zero Gravity Naked Fun Time STAR TREK: Set Cocks to Stun STAR TREK: Endless Vulcan Orgasm STAR TREK: Blow Me Before I Blow Up Your Planet as you can see i have no actual ideas, only dirty thoughts.
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:22 p.m. CST
Asimov vs. Boborci...
by Mattman
One of them is still bitching about Star Trek. The other is writing Star Trek 2. Gee, who won?
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:35 p.m. CST
You know,Orci should have somewhere in the story
by KilliK
another Starship and call it the Asimov,as a small node to Asimov here.hur,hur.
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:44 p.m. CST
and the captain of the spaceship should be Portuguese
by KilliK
-Kirk: Uhura,open a channel with the captain of the Asimov.and turn on the universal translator.the guy is Portuguese and his english is not that fluent. -Uhura: Captain,the Asimov captain is online -Asimov captain: ARRIBA! ARRIBA! ANDALE! ANDALE!
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:44 p.m. CST
should have = should put
by KilliK
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:48 p.m. CST
@ mattman:
by Chris Moody
Advantage: ORCI!
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:51 p.m. CST
Harry Potter Crossover Title - STAR TREK: THE POTION MIXTURE
by dahveed1972
ok that was bad. sorry...
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:54 p.m. CST
Conspiracy, that short story made my day
by Mattman
Thanks much.
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:57 p.m. CST
yeah, waaaay longer, asi. btw, i thought you liked the new spock.
by dahveed1972
personally, i think the snarky allusions to Quinto's orientation are out of line. maybe its just me.
Oct. 27, 2011, 2:58 p.m. CST
Killik, haha
by Mattman
Nice punchline. This talkback reminds me why I can't quit AICN.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:03 p.m. CST
Mattman: AsimovLives Won -- that's who...
by THE_CHOPPAH
100 years from now no one will know who Roberto Orci is except in reference to the late, great AsimovLives. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:05 p.m. CST
Choppah, when you're right, you're right
by Mattman
And you? You're always right.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:05 p.m. CST
AsimovLives: "I'm the guy who admits that parts of SUPER 8 were really really good...."
by THE_CHOPPAH
Ok, man. You've GOT to elaborate (again).
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:07 p.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
Stop kissing my ass unless you're aiming to give me a reacharound.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:08 p.m. CST
choppah... well now you've ruined the mood
by Mattman
*retracting hand*
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:11 p.m. CST
by DaScotsman
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
Now you're sounding just like my fourth wife. She was a frigid, whining bitch too (whenever I let her get a word in edgewise).
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:22 p.m. CST
Thank You all for your compliments...I do it for the sake of the kids...
by conspiracy
Not one of my more salacious non-efforts...no sex and limited vulgarities. But I just had the thought that once the daily high of minions ass kissing him, receiving vapid industry compliments, and the giddy excitement of looking at his bank account swell to the size of the GDP of Taiwan...Roberto HAD to dwell at least for a nanosecond on the fact that there was at LEAST ONE rabid Trek fan in Portugal that detested the fact he was allowed near a script.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:24 p.m. CST
"I'm the guy who admits that parts of SUPER 8 were really really good...." -AsimovLives
by Mattman
That should go on the blu-ray cover.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:37 p.m. CST
Watched Super 8 while on my cruise...not at all bad actually...
by conspiracy
Free from his usual associates Abrams actually crafted a decent little Spielbergian flick...and Elle Fanning can act rings around her big sis.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:40 p.m. CST
The problem with Abram's Star Trek
by Keith
Unlike Asimov, I'm not going to moan too much about its being slightly juvenile and Michael Bay-ish. I enjoyed it, as a popcorn movie. The problem is that I don't believe they're going to be able to turn it into a successful franchise. By playing it for laughs right from the outset - it's arguably a comedy more than it is an action movie - they're going to have serious problems if they try to go, err, serious. You can take a dramatic series and dip into comedy for a while. But you can't take a comedy and dip into drama. It never works. So Abrams Trek is trapped in the comedy zone so far as I can see. Which is, fine, y'know, if you see Star Trek as being a new comedy franchise. But they'll soon lose the fanbase. Old-school Trekkies were perfectly happy to be amused for one movie. But that smile is going to fade very quickly if they don't start seeing drama, ethical dilemmas and philosophical puzzles before too long.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:42 p.m. CST
by Mattman
Yeah, Elle Fanning is much more natural. I'm always aware that Dakota is acting. Elle really stole all her scenes in Super 8.
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:43 p.m. CST
"It Won't Be Called Star Trek 2"...............
by Triple_J_72
.......... It will be called "crap."
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:44 p.m. CST
Just to clarify this
by Keith
Imagine that you go to see a movie you're expecting to be a serious drama, but it turns out to be much funnier than you expected. Are you pissed off? Probably not. Surprised, but not pissed off. Now imagine that you go to see a movie you're expecting to be a comedy, but it turns out to be much more of a straight drama. That mismatch of expectations is much more negative for most people. And lots of non-hardcore fans who liked the 2009 movie are going to be expecting more of the same in a sequel. That means they're going to be demanding more comedy. Is Abrams going to deliver that, again and again?
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:50 p.m. CST
Mattman....agreed. Sadly Dakota Can act....
by conspiracy
I say sadly because she has just enough real talent to assure we'll never see her spreading the pink in Playboy or Hustler. sigh.... Oh well...at least we have Lindsay to look forward too...
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:53 p.m. CST
by Keith
Which Lindsay?
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:55 p.m. CST
misterdarcy, Lindsay Lohan is doing Playboy
by Mattman
Oct. 27, 2011, 3:57 p.m. CST
misterdarcy...I'd say that yes...Alex and Bob will again go for the yuks...
by conspiracy
why screw with the formula that made you stinking rich? JJ however, given his moderate success with Super 8 and with the industry pushing him as the NEXT Spielberg, will most probably try and protect his rising stature and push for a more balanced and professional film...I'd hope.
Oct. 27, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST
mattman..not just "doing Playboy" but doing FULL FRONTAL..
by conspiracy
No silly side boob and carefully draped cloth for Ms. Lohan...no sir. Lindsay is going to give her fans what they demand. She is a woman who truly cares about her fans... I predict Lindsay will be the first Mainstream Actress to really break into porn...she has the talent.
Oct. 27, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Insurrection with An Erection.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Oct. 27, 2011, 4:04 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Chickenfoot 3.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Soundtrack by Van Halen.
Oct. 27, 2011, 4:04 p.m. CST
conspiracy, God bless her.
by Mattman
Oct. 27, 2011, 4:45 p.m. CST
I wonder if Scotty's retarded little monkey butler will be in Faux Trek 2.
by Brian Hopper
Oct. 27, 2011, 4:59 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Remember 4 Years Ago?
by CARTMANEZ
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:04 p.m. CST
meh they shud just call it Star Trek 2
by CARTMANEZ
like Spiderman 2 or Lethal Weapon 2 or Die Hard 2 etc... ok it may get confusing when spoken but when its there on screen/poster/paper etc everyone will know the difference. anyway Star Trek II was called "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" besides a sizable chunck of the hip happening tweeting/Fbooking/Attention deficient audience going to see the movie arent really going to know/be that bothered there was another movie 30 years ago called 'star trek two' too
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:11 p.m. CST
by LazarusRevival
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:11 p.m. CST
m6y...Has anyone ever figured out who, what or why that thing was there?
by conspiracy
It served no story purpose, it wasn't a developed character, it wasn't even funny and had minimal interaction so it wasn't even like having an animal in the scenes. Really...someone explain why it was there.
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:20 p.m. CST
conspiracy - i thought they had it as a homage to the Ewoks?
by CARTMANEZ
it was like a barnacled Ewok although those things that attacked Worf, Picard and Data in the Mad Max part of Nemesis looked exactly the same only man sized bottom line - he was there to make us LAUGH! yes LAUGH at the little barnacled Ewok thing that Scotty keeps abusing!
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:22 p.m. CST
sorry...i meant the Mad Max meets Traffic part of Nemesis
by CARTMANEZ
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:30 p.m. CST
wait no i mean the Mad Max meets Traffic meets Pitch Black part of Nemesis
by CARTMANEZ
the bit with the James Bond stunt at the end after Picard needlessly violated the Prime Directive and shot up the natives
Oct. 27, 2011, 5:49 p.m. CST
by melonman
Coming soon.
Oct. 27, 2011, 6:13 p.m. CST
cartmanez...but I didn't laugh dude...
by conspiracy
I just kept wondering...why is this unfunny douchebag yelling unfunny shit to this beady eyed rock headed dwarf. Once again...K/O Paper Products style of humor alludes me.
Oct. 27, 2011, 6:13 p.m. CST
by victor82
Oct. 27, 2011, 6:14 p.m. CST
@conspiracy... Yeah, I've never heard an explanation
by Brian Hopper
for Scotty's little play buddy from anyone, much less from all the Abrams fanboys on here who fawn over ST:INO while conveniently ignoring how utterly ridiculous this unexplained little alien-monkey thing is. It's just... there. It's there to annoy anyone with even the vaguest sense of good taste. As I posted elsewhere, Scotty's monkey butler is the equivalent of Nien Nunb, the still-unexplained co-pilot of the Millenium Falcon in Return of the Jedi. I still remember the seething fury of my friends when we saw Jedi at watched this little freaky mutant sitting in Chewy's seat. It's like, WTF? The irony... Abrams admitted he wasn't a Star Trek fan, but was allegedly a Star Wars fan. But you know, was he REALLY even a Star Wars fan if he didn't have the common sense to kill the idea of giving one of the most beloved characters in science fiction, Montgomery Scott, a completely unexplained Nien Nunb-ish monkey butler? Jesus H. Christ himself can't save Star Trek from the clutches of these untalented fiends.
Oct. 27, 2011, 6:29 p.m. CST
by dahveed1972
Oct. 27, 2011, 6:31 p.m. CST
by poop
Oct. 27, 2011, 7:03 p.m. CST
I assumed the "monkey butler" was like a starfleet janitor. like Chief O Brien, without the skills.
by dahveed1972
Oct. 27, 2011, 7:04 p.m. CST
It was such a miniscule part of the movie, and it didnt talk, so who cares?
by dahveed1972
Oct. 27, 2011, 7:24 p.m. CST
@dahveed1972... Come on, yeah Scotty's monkey butler is
by Brian Hopper
a miniscule part of the movie, but it's emblematic of the overall lack of care that Triumvirate of Talent Orci, Kurtzman and Abrams demonstrate throughout the film. Scotty's monkey butler, the brewery engine room, the bar-fight-to-captain ascendancy of James Kirk, nuKirk and Spock Prime's ridiculously coincidental meeting, the reduction of the Kobayashi Maru meme into a jokey scene in which Kirk is an arrogant asstard... do I have to go on? Every minute of ST:INO is drenched in this kind of silly crap. It's all part of a tableau of horribleness that will only continue in Faux Trek 2.
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:02 p.m. CST
Choppah, you want to see Kirk become a furry lover?
by 3774
And this not long after admitting you would poke a t-girl. I'm becoming weirdly interested in your sexual history. It's either progressive-cool, or creepy and unhinged. Can't really see a middle ground, here....
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:13 p.m. CST
Does anyone really want to see Lindsay Lohan naked?
by Keith
She's traveled from starlet to drug-addled whore. (She might have been foxy back then, but no more.)
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:20 p.m. CST
I do. Airbrushing can do wonders.
by poop
If it's a horrible trainwreck, I can still spiggleshwang my dizzwank to her while watching Mean Girls.
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:21 p.m. CST
kirk is (or was) an arrogant asstard. according to TNG, so was Picard at his age. i agree about the coincidence thing, but its happened so much in ST stuff that its practically a defining touch.
by dahveed1972
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:23 p.m. CST
no time travel, no crazy coincidences, some actual exploration and discovery, and ill be happy.
by dahveed1972
the most important thing to me was the casting, and i think they hit it out of the park. Chris Pine was perfect imo.
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:26 p.m. CST
It won't be called Star Trek... because it's not Star Trek!!!
by Wookie_Weed
It has the same character names, the USS Enterprise, Vulcans... but that Abrams film (while it was a fun Summer generic scifi actioner) had none of the factors that mader Star Trek so beloved.
Oct. 27, 2011, 8:48 p.m. CST
by smatt584
Or for an alternate 'RISE OF THE DIRTY LABIA'
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:12 p.m. CST
dahveed1972 - STARFLEET. I kinda like that for a title. Or something like THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE, instead of STAR TREK: [insert overblown subtitle here]
by lv_426
Am I the only one who thinks that maybe this new Star Trek reboot franchise thing should maybe take the route of the Alien and Mission Impossible films? Different filmmakers for each film? So while Star Trek, directed by J.J. Abrams was lighter, more fun focused than ideas and drama, the next one could be very different. I mean, the original Kirk/Spock/Bones crew films all had different directors. The only one who did more than one was Nicholas Meyer, who did parts 2 and 6, which were the best two of the six original films too. I say make the next one darker, or more mysterious. Either go for a full out war in space type of film, or do something more mysterious and exploration-centric. Maybe the Enterprise gets stranded near some extremely strange new world, and while Scotty and his monkey butler are fixing things on the ship, Kirk, Spock, Bones, and some misc. crew goes to explore the planet, and finds something deadly or strange... or something that is extremely hostile and they accidentally bring it back to the ship. If not that, maybe they encounter a new alien civilization, and we have a first contact story (not like TNG -First Contact- borg one). I don't know. We can't have the same old same old stuff like the Klingons are pissed. The Romulans are up to no good. Vulcan has done gone and went kabloey in the last film, so no Vulcan set stories either. The Borg could be fun, but then again we've seen them a lot in TNG, Voyager, First Contact, etc... they aren't new or that exciting anymore, just cool and fun to see once in a while in a sort of Gigeresque Euro cybergoth kinda way. I just think it might get very bland if they do another film or two, both of which written by Orci. Kurtzman, & Lindelof and directed by Abrams. Bringing in some new writers and directors would help keep things fresh.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:16 p.m. CST
STAR TREK: The Search For Cock
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Synopsis: Spock and Urura break up when Spock realizes he is experiencing Cung Pwow and that he no longer has a desire for vagina sending him into a Vulcanic rage on a search for cock. Not just any cock either. His own cock, the elder Spock's cock. This never seemed possible but because the two Spock's cocks are both in the same Universe it has called a ripple in the space time continium and there is only one solution in order to save the many, he must cock meld with his older self's cock. The needs of the many out weigh the needs of his cock.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:19 p.m. CST
conspiracy =I predict Lindsay will be the first Mainstream Actress to really break into porn...she has the talent=
by lv_426
Well, what else is she going to do after she shows everyone her tits? Also, wasn't she nude in a scene in Machete? I could have sworn she was at least topless in there. Maybe she can do Playboy and then become a regular on all of the upcoming Robert Rodriguez grindhouse style flicks?
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:19 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Money Machine Malarkey
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
it just keeps on rolling and rolling and rolling....
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:25 p.m. CST
Star Trek: Those Aren't The Droids You're Looking For
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
A man named George Lucas is terrorizing the Universe after he is transported into the future where his shit coated pelican gullet has grown to such a size that it swings from side to side causing damage to the space time continuum much like the damage he caused in his former life to his once untarnished legacy by killing off all those who followed him. Kirk, Spock and crew must find a way to remove his the large testicle pendulum in order to put an end to the insanity.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:36 p.m. CST
Don't care what it's called
by proevad
Just want an insanely powerful enemy scaring the shit out of the galaxy and heading towards Earth--I want the Enterprise told to stay the fuck away from it/him/her--I want Kirk to say fuck you and go anyway. I want the Enterprise at the brink of destruction. I want Kirk to pull a miracle out of his ass and save the day. That'll be enough to start.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:42 p.m. CST
I'm jealous.
by DarkSeider
I can't say I'm a Star Trek fan, but I really enjoyed J.J's movie. I wish George Lucas had the vision to let him direct the Star Wars movies with George producing. Imagine what Abrams could have done with the massive budget and ILM resources they put in the prequels. Abrams himself has stated he's a Star Wars fan, damn! we'll never know. Maybe just maybe if they make episodes 7-10, if there is a god George will give up directing and writing duties to more talented folks, one can hope.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:45 p.m. CST
Just let them be...
by Charlie_Sheens_Coke_Numbed_Penis
big balled space explorers again...
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:50 p.m. CST
Since we're throwing out "justs"
by Jaka
Just keep all of the original cast out of it. I hate that Nimoy is in the last one SOOOO much. Something tells me they may end up going there again.
Oct. 27, 2011, 9:51 p.m. CST
nuKirk and Spock Prime's ridiculously coincidental meeting
by proevad
Umm no. Spock Prime knew that Kirk would show up in the cave. Spock Prime was from the future. Little thing called "remembering".
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:07 p.m. CST
All Star Trek talkbacks are
by Brian Hopper
hopelessly infiltrated by Bad Robot and/or Paramount plants whose job it is to pretend to have liked Faux Trek. Their posts always have stuff like 'I really enjoyed J.J's movie' and are easily identified by their lack of fluency in fanboy basics. This leads to things like imagining stuff no one would ever want (J.J. Abrams directing a Star Wars movie) and stumbling into malapropisms like erroneously referring to 'episodes 7-10' of Star Wars. Yes, these plants are just as bad at pretending to be fanboys as J.J. Abrams is at making movies.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:10 p.m. CST
I'd love to see a movie of the novel 'Kahless' by Michael Jan Friedman.
by Tom
It's a kind of 'Odysseus - Behind The Legend' story, exploring the origins of the Klingon God Kahless -the truth behind the myth. In the novel this is bookended with a bit of 'present-day' Worf and Picard stuff that could be jettisoned easily, or even reworked to include the reboot Kirk, et al, as presumably the reboot cancels out the Khitomer peace conference. I would have ST:VI General Chang-Type Klingons, not too bumpy-headed but badass-looking. Kahless himself could be played by Vin Diesel, who seriously needs to dust off his acting chops one of these days.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:16 p.m. CST
Forgot to mention...
by Tom
Waves of Klingons on horseback, riding into battle like something out of LOTR meets, well pick your favourite Samurai movie...
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:25 p.m. CST
@proevad No. The stupid inconsistencies and
by Brian Hopper
plain lazy writing in Faux Trek — which are light years from the elegantly structured and just plain cool stuff in 'City on the Edge of Forever' and 'All Good Things...' and 'Yesterday's Enterprise' and 'In a Mirror Darkly' etc etc etc — have been teased out in many previous talkbacks and are pointless to rehash here. Faux Trek is like a dumbed-down version of Star Trek — like Star Trek for simpletons, only that's insult to simpletons because they deserve good writing, too, and Faux Trek just plain sucks.
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:38 p.m. CST
Spock can slug Kirk and then they drive around in the ship, bickering.
by kabong
Oh, wait, that's how boborci screwed up "Hawaii Five-0."
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:52 p.m. CST
m6y is a prime example ...
by DrMorbius
as to why parents should put a lock on their computer when they go out for the evening!
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:54 p.m. CST
new director for each sequel???
by millermeusa
let Abrams go and bring in someone completely unexpected............say Terrance Malick to direct........with Sean Penn as Kirk contemplating a career in Star Fleet after the death of his brother
Oct. 27, 2011, 10:58 p.m. CST
slightly OT: Quinto and Pegg should play
by OptimusBob
Holmes and Watson respectively, in a more FAITHFUL adaption of Sherlock Holmes. Guy Ritchie's take is good but more action-orientated. Steven Moffat's is also good but a modernised take. This adaptation would take into account Holmes' Cocaine Use/Addiction and the latent homosexual nature of Holmes and Watson's relationship; because let's face it, they were gay.
Oct. 28, 2011, 12:27 a.m. CST
proevad...No Spock didn't remember jack...
by conspiracy
in fact he was surprised to see Jim there, and was aghast that Jim had been marooned there by his younger self. See...according to the writers themselves...when Prime and Nero went back and did what they did...it was not the same timeline at all, but rather a parallel timeline where the future from that point was totally new and related in no way to The Original series timeline. In short...what happened was that Alex and Roberto could not think of a better, more imaginative or logical way of getting Spock Prime and Kirk together....so they just let them run into each other randomly, on a large ICE covered moon with a thankfully breathable atmosphere. This, after Jim blindly ran into one of probably hundreds of ice caves...after being marooned there by Neu-Spock,...this particular cave was where Spock Prime just happened to have been marooned by Nero (apparently with fuel and an accelerant to make a fire since Ice doesn't really burn),... ... this so he could watch a Vulcan (A HOT planet within view of the naked eye upon the Ice moon...think about this when you look at it's Ice moon) get sucked into a black hole (which somehow does not effect the orbit, geology or atmosphere of Vulcan nearby Ice moon)... ...this cave also just happens to be only a few Km (walking distance) from a Star Fleet outpost where Scotty just happened to be working (oddly unaware and unconcerned by the disappearance and carnage on around nearby Vulcan), etc.... Oh fuck it....Sloppy, SLOPPY writing....
Oct. 28, 2011, 12:32 a.m. CST
by NoHubris
...should be the name, since it's supposed to be the new Star Wars.
Oct. 28, 2011, 12:59 a.m. CST
So...RISE OF KHAN, eh?
by MCVamp
Oct. 28, 2011, 3:23 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Lowest common denominator.
by Fortunesfool
Oct. 28, 2011, 3:24 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Mutton dressed as lamb
by Fortunesfool
Oct. 28, 2011, 3:24 a.m. CST
It's Star Trek Jim but not as you know it.
by Fortunesfool
Oct. 28, 2011, 3:28 a.m. CST
Star Trek: But, y'know, for kids.
by Fortunesfool
Oct. 28, 2011, 3:30 a.m. CST
Star Trek: JJ Abrams is NOT the new Spielberg.
by Fortunesfool
Oct. 28, 2011, 4:44 a.m. CST
RE:"Star Trek Mirror Universe" Starring Zoe Saldana as Spock's Beard"
by Stalkeye
LMMFAO Brilliant!
Oct. 28, 2011, 5:29 a.m. CST
if KHHHAAAAN dosnt show up in the 'Ongoing' comics...
by CARTMANEZ
you can be certain he'll be in in the sequel. i for one would love it if Khan is the villain or at least foreshadowed joker style
Oct. 28, 2011, 6:16 a.m. CST
Star Trek: The Next Frontier
by CARTMANEZ
a combo of Next Generation and Final Frontier - which they cant use now although they *might* be able to get away with calling it 'Final Frontier' (without 'The') but then would they want to draw any comparisons to Star Trek V?
Oct. 28, 2011, 7:53 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Bob Orci is writing Abrams TRek 2? Frokm what source? Even the actors themselves admit there is no script yet. And you call what Bob Orci does as writing? You just insulted all the writers in the world, living and dead, since the invention of writing. Show some respect for the craft, will you?
Oct. 28, 2011, 8:03 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
And then the USS Asimov would be blown up right at the start of the movie, right? And the captain of the ship would be some cowardly blubbling stuttering fool. With herpes.
Oct. 28, 2011, 8:05 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
And "ARRIBA! ARRIBA! ANDALE! ANDALE!" is FUCKING SPANISH!!! You torpedoed your own joke.
Oct. 28, 2011, 8:09 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
I have been saying that Abrams Trek is pure gayness way before Quinto's coming out. So, for me this is an old thing. Check out my older posts and you cna verify that. The gay arsery between NuKirk and Spocky in Abrams Trek is so thick you could use it as ciment to build an house and it would last centuries. As Mr Plinkett so well said, the movie suffers from a severe case of "Not The Gay".
Oct. 28, 2011, 8:23 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
The point of my posts is that i'm NOT a rabid Tek fan. i don't evne consider myself a fan of Trek. I enjoy it, specially the TOS, series and movies. But the whole point is that i don't need to be a Trek fan to know the bullshit that Abrams and Orci and his fellow assclowns made. And the majority of my rants, if you will, has been on the movie as a movie. And as a movie it's a piece of shit. And the fact it's also a disgrace as Trek is the icing of the cake. I guess i need to repeat this point a few hundreds time again for this to be driven home for good.
Oct. 28, 2011, 8:30 a.m. CST
@asi tomato,tomahto
by KilliK
Oct. 28, 2011, 8:31 a.m. CST
Elle Fanning in SUPER 8 was fantastic. The best thing in the movie.
by AsimovLives
She is a fantastic young actress. She will go places. She was the movie's secret weapon. She alone is half of what's good with the movie. The other half was the kid's stuff, specially until the train crash and when the movie did went off the rails (pun intended). The rest of the movie that is not to do with Elle or the kids is a mix bag of weird shit and plain pure shit. The movie has a few things that are really very good (Elle and the kids story), surroundeed by a big sea of marasm, uselessness, misguideness, shit and stupidity. It makes it Abrams best movie, then.
Oct. 28, 2011, 9:48 a.m. CST
pink_apocalypse, if this helps
by THE_CHOPPAH
I'd sooner see Kirk get freaky with a furry than I would Lindsay Lohan pose full frontal in Playboy. Cat Chicks are Hawt! Duck Lips are Not!
Oct. 28, 2011, 10:01 a.m. CST
startrek 2 late
by fat_rancor_keeper
just fucking get this film in theaters already.
Oct. 28, 2011, 10:37 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Picard was an arrogant twat as a teen. Kirk was a nerd, a stack of books with legs, according to two different episodes, said by two different characters (one of them kirk himself in SHORE LEAVE). Somehow, in Abrams Trek, it seems that none of the people who made that movie can tell the difference between Picard and Kirk. Must be the baldness. You say why worry about such a small detail like the weird Scotty pet friend in Abrms Trek. It is one small, weird, stupud detail. It alone cannot derail a movie. But it can take you out of a scene for no good reason. i don't knoew about you, but one thing i don't particulary appreciate while watching a movie is to be taken out of the story because the filmmakers decided to be cute and shove into the movie some bullshit that makes no sense. But the problem with Scotty's little petboy is that it's one element among many. The movie movie is pettled with such small things. In every bloody minute of it's screentime. It all adds up. All added up does make an influence. All of it added up do fuck up a movie.
Oct. 28, 2011, 10:40 a.m. CST
Asi, Netflix is sending me The People Vs. George Lucas tonight
by THE_CHOPPAH
It's gotta be good because AICN ain't pimping it.
Oct. 28, 2011, 10:41 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Leonard Nimoy also directed two ST TOs movies, Search For Spock and The Voyage Home. Only Robert Wise and William Shatner directed one movie each of the TOS movies. So, in that regard, it's tit-for-tat (is that how you say it?).
Oct. 28, 2011, 10:45 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
"Umm no. Spock Prime knew that Kirk would show up in the cave. Spock Prime was from the future. Little thing called "remembering"." That makes no sense. How could Spock Prime remeber soemthing that is happening in a paralel universe that is not his own? How could he had such knowldge? Remember, abrams Trek is set in a paralel universe. This is the problem with you Abrams Trek fans, not even you guys understand the movie you defend. Because the movie doesn't make frigging sense whatsoever. You guys give the movie more though then the very people who made it.
Oct. 28, 2011, 10:47 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
A well put out argument does disturb you so much?
Oct. 28, 2011, 10:55 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
I have heard about that movie. It's a documentary of sorts, right? What's the word on the street about it?
Oct. 28, 2011, 10:57 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Maybe you wouldn't be so happy if i said that USA is just like Canada. Or that americans speak german. I mean, english and german are both germanic languages, so it's all the same thing, jawolh?
Oct. 28, 2011, 11:13 a.m. CST
by THE_CHOPPAH
I don't know much about it, but it's got 74% on RT. I heard that it didn't go hard enough on George Lucas. And that it is as much an indictment of rabid fanboys as it is Lucas. But it looks like an interesting look into the world of fanboys. Which is probably why Harry and AICN doesn't want to promote it. It's too similar to their own Comic Con movie. Of course The People Vs. George Lucas came first.
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:07 p.m. CST
Star Trek 160:2
by alexander
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:09 p.m. CST
@asimovlives potato,potahto.
by KilliK
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:13 p.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Have you seen FANBOYS? While it's a perfectably entertaining movie, it suffers from one major fault: it's too soft on the people it jokes about. Or rather, it barely jokes. Of cours,e the thing that makes me laugh the most is the movie's desperate atempt to try to portait the SW fanboys as cool and good looking while the trekies are portaited as ugly sons of bitches. The truth being that both SW fanboys and Trekkies are mostly made of ugly sons of bitches with the ocasional hottie girl, on both groups. The two documentaries TREKKIES show the extent of how pathetic the trekkie fanboys can be. But as anybody who have seen SW fganboys can testify, and as perfectly exemplified by the famous comedy sketch by "Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog", SW fanboys are also a collection of pretty pathetic looking weird ass losers. And now we are getting a 3rd set of fanboy losers, the ones that believe that JJ Abrams is god's gift on Earth and can do no wrong, while in fact all he does is wrong. As if the world hadn't enough fandom already.
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:14 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Oh Fuck Steve Jobs is dead, what the hell are we supposed to do now!?
by alexander
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:16 p.m. CST
Star Trek 2: Once more unto the breach you Renegade-Maverick
by alexander
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:18 p.m. CST
by thedoctor28
You are a geniuses!! AWESOME idea!!
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:21 p.m. CST
As some compadres above said, the humour is one of the most advised things about Abrams Trek.
by AsimovLives
It really is weird how the movie is so desperate to inject humour in every single nook and crack in the movie. Yes, the moie is basically a chessy comedy with some basic contrived manipulative melodrama bullshit thrown in. Well,the comedy is contrieved as well. And it's so fucking cheesy! And nothing better exemplifies that then that stupid running gag about NuKirk trying to get Uhura to say her first name, and then out of nowhere we have this revelation that Spock and Uhura are an item and he wispers her name in the teleportation room. So, Spock and Uhura's romance was put in the movie to serve as a punchline for a cheesy joke. It's so stupid! So, so stupid! It's shit like this among others that makes me hate that movie so much. Stupid movie.
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:22 p.m. CST
correction: As some compadres above said, the humour is one of the most ill advised things about Abrams Trek.
by AsimovLives
That's the full correct title of my post above. Sorry for not getting it right the first time.
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:29 p.m. CST
The part that pisses me off about the whole thing...
by thedoctor28
.. is Abrams could have ended the movie the way it was supposed to end, with the crew we all know and love. Just show how it all came together and formed the crew we know. Why the alternate universe???? The whole story made no fukin sense. No one can argue that the people playing the roles did a pretty good job. Esp McCoy. I fukin hate that movie, and if this next one does not fix the timeline Abrams can go fuk himself!!!
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:37 p.m. CST
Asi, you're completely right about Spock-Uhura's relationship
by THE_CHOPPAH
It does exist purely as a joke. And not just the one you mention, but the fact that a big science geek is banging the hottest chick in the universe. LAME! The worst gag to me is a tie between the Eddie Murphy Nutty Professor allergic reaction cgi sight gag and the Willy Wonka trip through the giant tube in the Brewery "Engine" Room.
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:38 p.m. CST
asi, who the hell are these JJ fanboys you keep talking about?
by coz
enjoying a piece of work doesn't automatically make one a "fanboy" and everyone I know who likes something he's done has also hated something else he's done, myself included I think you're seeing phantoms my man, you're living out your own personal hitchcockian hell
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:43 p.m. CST
In the theater, during the Willy Wonka tube trip...
by Jaka
...I said rather loudly, "Oh bull! shit!"... and about ten people either shushed me or turned around (to attempt) to give me an evil eye. That may have been the point of no return for me. The Spock/Uhura relationship IS complete and utter nonsense as well. But the bigger story issues (read: plot holes) far outweigh those problems.
Oct. 28, 2011, 1:47 p.m. CST
by AsimovLives
THe only thing i find anything good to say about Abrams Trek is the cast.. except on two actors: Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana. For a good while i was on the fence about those two, giving them the benefit of the doubt. But now my opinion is settle on those two, and i think they were terrible. Terrible characters as writen, and the acting not only didn't mananged to elevate the bullshit characters, but made them even worst to endure. Kirk asn a arrogant anoying cocksucker and Uhura as a gold digging/ladder climbing whore by using her boyfriend. Fuck, i found those two characters anoying and detestable like hell. And in TOS, Uhura is one of my favorite characters, and Kirk is just such great presentation of male coolness. Yeah, the cast of Abrams Trek is good, except for two actors who just helped fuck up even more the shit that was on the page. As for McCoy, yeah, Karl Urban is a good actor, quite underrated. But it helped that his character's lines are half of them are quotes from the character's dialogues from the original Star Trek. How can you go wrong with that?
Oct. 28, 2011, 2:14 p.m. CST
by poop
I blame Spielberg.
Oct. 28, 2011, 2:16 p.m. CST
...Zoe Saldana...
by KilliK
Oct. 28, 2011, 2:18 p.m. CST
@the_choppah what AICN Comic Con movie are you talking about?
by KilliK
did Harry made a movie about Comic Con?
Oct. 28, 2011, 2:23 p.m. CST
by coz
you're right, it is Spielberg
Oct. 28, 2011, 2:25 p.m. CST
Just as long as it's not Star Trek: New Moon and the Klingons don't sparkle.
by TheIncredibleD
Otherwise phasers will be set to kill.
Oct. 28, 2011, 2:27 p.m. CST
killik, here ya go:
by THE_CHOPPAH
Oct. 28, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST
@the_choppah thanx man. looks interesting,i ll check it out.
by KilliK
Oct. 28, 2011, 3:33 p.m. CST
@the_choppah thanx man for the link.
by KilliK
Oct. 28, 2011, 4:50 p.m. CST
Admiral Tyler Perry Presents: Star Trekkin' on Medea, Mutha Fuckas ...
by Vince Ricardo
... starrin' Samuel L. Jackson as Chaka Khan
Oct. 28, 2011, 6:31 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Captains Log
by Turingtestee
Still can't get over Kirk Bones Spock.
Oct. 28, 2011, 6:40 p.m. CST
A few further points of idiocy in Star Trek (and it is a horribly idiotic movie)
by The Bicycle Sharer
I agree with all the points that have been noted in that sf abortion commonly known as ST: INO, especially the "coincidental" meeting, the ice moon of the desert planet, the non-effect of the explosion of desert planet on ice moon (with magically burny ice), Scotty coincidentally also being on that moon with a special retard alien pet AND being completely fucking oblivious to the explosion of the planet whose moon he's chilling on. And I've a couple of other bones of contention with this shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty story. 1. Nero comes through his little time travel thingy from the future and IMMEDIATELY starts shooting at Federation ships, conveniently killing Kirk's dad. I can live with that because I can say, "Oh, he's still just super pissed about Romulus and wants to shoot the shit out of everything he sees. 2. Nero is then conveniently imprisoned off-screen by the Klingons for JUST long enough for Kirk to grow up. Now organic reason just convenient. And, for story-telling purposes, there is absolutely ***NO*** reason that he couldn't have been captured by the Federation in that battle that killed Kirk's dad and then just stayed "Silent Sam" about who he was and what he was and his mission and all that shit. In other words, the "Klingon imprisonment and escape" is a fucking load of Abrams-Orci-Kurtzman "deus Kirk machina" shit that was some of the thinnest shit I have ever seen in a story. Ever. 3. But what-the-fuck-ever. Nero is imprisoned conveniently long enough for Kirk to grow up and conveniently escapes just in time for Kirk and Spock to team up and kill him. (Never minding the coincidence of how Nero ALSO managed to first snag old Spock, but, again, what-the-fuck-ever.) But here's my biggest gripe. It's the biggest piece of shit about this piece of shit movie. It's what makes Orci and crew some of the worst storytellers to ever get handed a fucking budget. And it's this ... Imagine for a moment that you're transported back to Pompeii 'round about 1 BCE. Or let's say it was San Francisco of 1826. Or maybe Southampton or Belfast around about 1832. And imagine that the most horrible fucking moment of your life is knowing that your wife and kid are going to perish in a fucking cloud of volcanic ash or beneath a tumbling building or on board an "unsinkable" ship's maiden voyage. Would you fucking spend 20 years pulling your pud in a fucking prison (or pulling someone else's) and plotting how you were gonna get your "revenge" by burning Caesarea to the ground or knocking down some buildings in Miami or plotting to bomb the Olympic (sister ship of the Titanic)? Or would you spend every motherfucking second figuring out a way to use your "advanced" (what -- hundred years or more, right?) tech to get those stupid fucking Romulans (or at least your wife's family) off that miserable stinking shithole before it blew up? I mean, who the fuck would go back in time and flatten the tires on Hitler's car when you could just as easily make sure that your grandmother wasn't fucking walking across that street on that day. Pick all them motherfuckers up (every single ancestor from 100 years prior) and move those assholes to the prettiest fucking planet as far the fuck away from Romulus as you can. But blowing up Vulcan? Blowing up Vulcan?!?!?!?!? And then, wait, also COINCIDENTALLY nabbing the one motherfucker that you blame (Spock?!?!?!?!?!?!?!), having him in your grasp and able to watch as you FOR SOME INSANELY STUUUUUUUUPID REASON blow up Vulcan (instead of rescuing your fucking wife's family) and you drop him off on a moon to watch instead of staring into his double-lidded Vulcan eyes and savoring every drop of fucking despair as he watches his own planet destroyed? That's your fucking plan? You know why that's your plan? 'Cause Abrams, Orci, and Kurtzman are the stupidest motherfuckers to exist in history. Stuuuuuuupid.
Oct. 28, 2011, 6:42 p.m. CST
by The Bicycle Sharer
Perfect said, sir. Perfectly.
Oct. 28, 2011, 6:49 p.m. CST
Wait! Wait! The Hitler reference
by The Bicycle Sharer
Yeah, I totally forgot!!! As part of my evil genius plan to flatten the tires on Hitler's car that hit-and-run killed my grandmother, I'm going to kidnap Hitler and loosely tie him to a nearby tree where I can't see him, but where he can see me flattening the tires on his car! That'll totally show that evil piece of shit! And nothing could go wrong with that plan, right? How does it feel Hitler-who-I-can't-see-or-talk-to to see your car's tires flattened! How does it feel!
Oct. 28, 2011, 6:59 p.m. CST
Won't be called Star Trek 2
by The Bicycle Sharer
So, they've definitely decided on "Star Trek Poo" then?
Oct. 28, 2011, 7 p.m. CST
Haven't gotten a script yet?
by The Bicycle Sharer
That certainly didn't stop 'em from filming the first one, did it? Since when did "having a script" matter to this bunch of morons?
Oct. 29, 2011, 12:22 a.m. CST
Guys,Orci and Kurtzman were writers for Hercules/Xena.
by KilliK
that's all there is that you need to know about those atrocious hacks.
Oct. 29, 2011, 12:24 a.m. CST
Whatever they title,it will be still a PILE OF SHIT.
by KilliK
Oct. 29, 2011, 4:53 a.m. CST
the bicycle sharer
by AsimovLives
Oct. 29, 2011, 4:58 a.m. CST
the bicycle sharer
by AsimovLives
I love your Hitler reference. You hit the nail in the head about the logic of Nero's actiosn about Spock and the blowing up of Vulcan as his revence actions. As in, it makes no sense at all! Well, the same could be said about the whole movie, couldn't it? I really beleive this movie's script never went past the phase of scriblings ona napkin, and they just come up with stuff as they were shooting the movie. It certaily explains why that crap costed 150 millions to make and yet they stil had to cut corners like shooting the engine room scenes in a beer brewery. And still making the movie look like something made-for-TV. And that's me insulting TV, because i have seen far bigger epic on made-for-TV stuff, like the great HBO shows (Rome, Deadwood), or Babylon 5 or Ron Moore's Battlestar Galactica.
Oct. 29, 2011, 5:03 a.m. CST
by killik: "Orci and Kurtzman were writers for Hercules/Xena" And they never went past that level.
by AsimovLives
i can understand cheesy nonsense bullshit for a Xena show. That was was made chessy on porpose, it's deliberate. I don't particulary enjoy it, but that's the nature of the beast, so be it. But Orci and Kurtzman's problems is that they stuck to that and never evolved past and beyond that. Many respected writers for movies and Tv they had humble starts on more cheesy shows but eventually with time their talent started to show off and they moved to better things. No so with this two. They are still stuck to Xena level clagtrap. Can you believe that Orci and Kurtzman are 40something guys? Because the crpa they write is the level of a 13 years old. I'm not saying they are adults who can write stuff that 13 years old can enjoy. No, i'm saying that Orci and Kurtzman write like they are 13 years olds. Undereducated 13 years olds at that.
Oct. 29, 2011, 6:26 a.m. CST
Its good to see that now more people have the courage to tell Abrams Trekm for the crappy movie it is.
by AsimovLives
Nowdays, the reaction about this movie is about fifty/fifty between detractors and supporters. And that's as it should be. Half in each position does make sense. Guys like me with my opinion about it will always be an extreme position. It's unreasonable to expect we would be the majority. We should be. i mean, at the time of released, an extreme postions was the norm, that it was this marvelous great flawless movie. But at least it's good to see that at least most of the psositions are now of "it's a flawed silly movie", even among many of it's supporters. It's so much better. The sad part is that this should had been at the time of the movie's released. But sadly, madness prevailed back then. Good to see some sanity has returned. Some.
Oct. 29, 2011, 9:59 a.m. CST
I joke, but it really is the best Trek film there's been in a while
by alexander
And bar a few choices JJ did a great job of directing it. I have problems with the script too, but I'm sorry most of Treks going back ages excluding first contact were just laughable as a piece of smart sci-fi that embodied what Trek was supposed to be about, and the remake was worth ten times what those multiple abortions were in spirit alone... So lick my bud and suck on my balls.
Oct. 29, 2011, 12:12 p.m. CST
Asi -- 13 year olds?
by The Bicycle Sharer
Please excuse my disagreement here, but I think you give those idiots FAR too much credit. Even thirteen year old retards feel that Star Drek was a piece of shit and Mssrs. Abrams, Orci, and Kurtzman couldn't write their way out of class field trip to a dick-shredding exhibition. ;-)
Oct. 29, 2011, 12:22 p.m. CST
Its eeeeeasily the best st movie in a while. Waaaaay better than nemesis or insurrection. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay better.
by dahveed1972
I think the next script has to be better tho. The fact is that the st property hasn't been about science and discovery since tmp. They need to jettison completely the nostalgia and come at these characters and their relationships as if tos never existed. And they have to take into account that the 21stst century audience has a more sophisticated understanding of science than in the past as they write the script. Looking forward to it.
Oct. 29, 2011, 12:24 p.m. CST
Also waaaaaay better than tff.
by dahveed1972
Oct. 29, 2011, 12:29 p.m. CST
Andi found the tyler perry cameo more jarring than themonkey butler
by dahveed1972
At least he wasn't in drag.
Oct. 29, 2011, 12:33 p.m. CST
The idea that it takes courage to admit ANONYMOUSLY that u hate some movie is idiotic.
by dahveed1972
Oct. 29, 2011, 1:35 p.m. CST
uhh... reboot not remake
by alexander
Those 13 year olds I bet wouldn't be fooled by the bullshit that was almost each film since wrath of kahn
Oct. 29, 2011, 3:59 p.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Abrams Trek is thr best St movie made in the past two years. But since none other were made in that time, it'sn pretty faint praise.
Oct. 29, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST
by AsimovLives
I think it's hystericaql that so many people use NEMESIS to kick around and try to prove Abrams Trek superiority, when in fact Abrams Trek is almost a remake of Nemesis, with the same flaws it had, only augmented by total stupidity. At least Nemesis had a story and a theme to it. Flawed or bad as it were, at least it had them. Abrams Trek had jack shit. Even JJ Abrams himself admited that his movie had no theme to it. Which means it's a first in the whole history of Trek. And that even includes the TV shows. The myth that Nemesis is worst then Abrams Trek is one that truly doesn't survive close scrutiny.
Oct. 29, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST
alan_grant_lives, there's no trashing of THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK on my watch, mister.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 29, 2011, 4:04 p.m. CST
And THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY is pretty weet too.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 29, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST
Line from above should had read: J.J. Abrams again "directs" from a "screenplay" by Bob Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof.
by AsimovLives
Oct. 29, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST
the bicycle sharer
by AsimovLives
Idiotic iliterate 13 years old then? Or should i had said 6 years old?
Oct. 29, 2011, 5:48 p.m. CST
Myths? Just one persons opinion. Cant really remember the reviews if thats what u mean.
by dahveed1972
Me watching it wasn't a myth.that shit happened. Twice!
Oct. 29, 2011, 5:52 p.m. CST
Nemesis probably is underrated. It wasnt awful.
by dahveed1972
Oct. 30, 2011, 2:29 a.m. CST
nope, sorry asi, your wrong and your being a moron
by alexander
Its the best Trek since First Contact and better than some shit piles that came before. I never trashed Search for Spock, but while Undiscovere Country might be weet, its still cack. It only tastes weet thanks to the trio at the beginning. Nemesis has no brains, its laughable. JJ Trek for the meantime has droped this utter pretence that's been going on in Trek for a long long time that allows it to flog a dying horse through mediocre to cheese ville, and brought it back to the spirit and soul of the origional series... Except that we havn't seen them seek out new worlds and civilizations yet. I take someones point above about the comedy factor potentially smothering the franchise from its real potential, but I think its more than possible to have a transition from those sensibilities overtime, and I can't emphasise enough, there's no reason the origional trekverse can't live on as a smart piece of 'humanist' sci fi as a new tv series. Y'know... Not fucking Enterprise: The George Bush apologists Show.
Oct. 30, 2011, 6:49 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Being a moron for disliking a stupid movie? How does that works?
Oct. 30, 2011, 6:53 a.m. CST
by AsimovLives
Nemesis is just banal. Picture perfect of milquetoast. Doesn't deserve neither hate nor love. It has some good things which are ballanced by bad things, and in the end, it's just there. If it hadn't been the last TNG movie made, nobody would bother to remember it by now, the same way people barely remember that "ST:TNG Insurrection" exists. Yes, ther eis a myth surrounding Abrams TRek: that's a good movie. I should even call it an article of faith, as in, something people believe without evidence to support it. And like all dogmas, it has foundations on bullshit.
Oct. 30, 2011, 6:58 a.m. CST
Not callingthe next Abrams Trek "Star Trek 2" is proof enough for me that Team Abrams atempt to make their Star Trek to be THE Star Trek.
by AsimovLives
Paralel universe my ass! They want to make their Star Trek to be THE Star Trek, the one and only. And given the geekry blind dogmatic acceptance, with some luck, theirs will be the only Star Trek accepted, specially for the younglings. Obnoxious stupid know-it-all/know-nothing conceited chauvinistic arrogant oportunistic ignoramus fucking assholes!
Oct. 30, 2011, 11:03 a.m. CST
Star Trek: Space is pleasant, the death and search for Spock is peaceful, it's the asimov lives that's problematic
by alexander
Oct. 30, 2011, 11:15 a.m. CST
No Asi, your a moron for...
by alexander
Your stupid bullshit pathetic whacked out reasoning that not calling it Trek 2 is proof enough for you they want their Trek to be THE Star Trek - wtf!? That's psychobable and f---ing stupid but hey! the Kurzman and Orci you describe would be proud I guess... But at the time fella I was simply reffering to you automatically assuming I must be trashing Search for Spock when I said your being a moron. I hope that clears it up.
Oct. 30, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST
Dont understand your response asi.
by dahveed1972
You used the word "courage" in a way that makes no sense. Even as hyperbole it makes no sense. Feel free to reread your earlier post if you need clarification.
Oct. 30, 2011, 11:29 a.m. CST
Star Trek: You ever kissed a girl Asi? Ever been in a cockpit before Elle?... ever, seen a grown man naked?
by alexander
Oct. 30, 2011, 1:55 p.m. CST
alan_grant_lives, i think you wanteed to write "you're a moron". "Your a moron" makes no sense.
by AsimovLives
And your last cheap shot post only looks bad on you. You can do better then that.
Oct. 30, 2011, 1:57 p.m. CST
by AsimovLives
And it's called reading between the lines. I hope i'm wrong, but i have no reason whatsoever to trust Team Abrams.
Oct. 30, 2011, 1:58 p.m. CST
by AsimovLives
In what post was that? Doesn't look like from my latest to you. Care to specify?
Oct. 30, 2011, 3:03 p.m. CST
Never mind. And please refrain from correcting peoples spelling/grammar, especially when his meaning is obvious.
by dahveed1972
Don't be a douch. My spelling is intentional btw.
Oct. 30, 2011, 4:01 p.m. CST
Douche has an e on the end
by Jaka
Oct. 30, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST
Star Trek: The Neverending Pointless Talkback
by Jaka
That's my bet. <p> <p> Good thing I don't gamble.
Oct. 30, 2011, 5:18 p.m. CST
Good point. Think ill avoid these st talk backs until we have a trailer.
by dahveed1972
Oct. 31, 2011, 3:08 a.m. CST
rather than blame it on my haywire blackberry or the fact life is too short Asi
by alexander
You mind if I put it down to some pathetic blatent bullshit to cover MY woefull lack of interpretation of others words and their meanings by throwing out a vague "it's called reading inbetween the lines"? You can do better than that. Hey Asi, you know why they used a brewery as the engine room and the interior of the enterprise looks like an Ipod? It's called reading between the lines bitch! Learn to read before you write etc... C'mon.
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