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And suddenly a group of guys + fabulousferrousfucker turned up for a midnight tea party.
(What are you doing over there; come join the tea party man)
8DDD Haha, I want a tea party in my room too, haven't had one yet.
And suddenly a group of guys + fabulousferrousfucker turned up for a midnight tea party.
(What are you doing over there; come join the tea party man)
8DDD Haha, I want a tea party in my room too, haven't had one yet.
Quick & dirty guide to Agito menus for a friend! Come here, lovingcolors!!!
There's a lot of stuff I left out, so if there are any questions feel free to hit up my ask box or this post, etc.
[A-B] Dorm Side Menus
1. Magic Academy
2. Mission (期限限定 = limited time): The missions are divided into 期限限定イベント (dailies), 物語 (story), 調査 (investigation/exploration), 依頼リスト (subquests from Kaguyama/members of not!Class 0)
3. Gacha: The クリスタル is done with red tickets and blue crystals bought with money, while the フレンド is done with FP (Friend Points)
4. Crafting/Fortification: More on this in D
5. Friends Menu: This one can get pretty complicated, more on this in H
6. Present Box: Where all your 討伐 (elimination battle) rewards and friend presents go
7. Same as 4, oops
8. Abilities: More on this in E
9. Equipment/Item Box: Your inventory, basically, more on this in F-G
10. Platoon: The group you're in for weekend elimination battles — you have rankings within the platoon as well as an overall platoon ranking on top of your individual ranking, so that's 3 tiers of rewards on top of the ones if the boss gets eliminated
Been playing the Meroe-4 region and finally another Divine Sword recipe! BUT IT BOMBED even at 80% =_= dragged fabulousferrousfucker for the first one. I see you're back to using Himuro…
Decided to drag Yuetsu-san for the second one since I haven't dragged him often as he's quite a new friend. But Minagiwa wwww
Eheheh, I was hitting the fire area that mysteriously appeared temporarily so I switched over… |3
So I've been seeing this word 「昇華 」—(shouka? sublimation?) throughout twitter about Zhuyu and seen it from FFAgito itself.
Does anyone know what it means in context of Type-0/Agito universe? (*▽*)
I assume that it's kinda like 使命/focus, but I'm not too sure….
Pretty sure it refers to when a l'Cie completes their Focus and turns to crystal. :|a Queen was talking about it a while back when it happened to Qun'mi.
fabulousferrousfucker LOL sup dude I don't use twitter.
Hahaha I just sent it to most of the tumblr folk because I didn't know who used Twitter and who didn't! |D Covering all my bases. Sorry!
Pictures from the trip to Beijing this weekend! We went 'cause the sisterling came to visit from Cali, and basically did a lightning tour of some famous locales. IT WAS A MISTAKE. THERE WERE WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE AND ALSO BEIJING IS AN OVEN.
But at least it was a pretty oven…?
1-2. The Bird's Nest and broadcast tower used in the 2008 Olympics! The tower changed colors a lot so I just snapped a shot when it went rainbow. :))
3. Some cute architecture at the shopping complex where we had Peking duck near Beijing University! It was quite excellent duck, apparently the restaurant is pretty old and famous too. It's called 全聚德 and we got a serial code for our duck fffffff—
4-7. Shots of the Great Wall at Jinshanling and the insides of one of the towers! It was so nice and cool, I want a summer house built of stone omfg… We went there instead of the more developed Badaling because it was less crowded… One side of the Wall was still pretty wild and there was a break where we stopped because it was harder to go on from there. It was a pretty taxing trek compared to the last time I went to the Wall at one of the more developed areas.
8-9. Kunming Lake at the Summer Palace! You can just see the Temple of Buddhist Incense (I think?) in the distance, it was pretty huge but we didn't have much time to explore. Took a few pictures of the lions on the Seventeen-Arch Bridge. :> This was also my second time here. The lake seemed smaller than it used to be…
I've only been White and Black Mages, but according to the Japanese wiki:
White Mages specialize in Holy magic attack and defense (meaning those will level up with job class level). Their special ability is a heal over time.
Black Mages specialize in attack magic and magic defense. Their special ability shortens cooldowns by quite a bit.
Knights specialize in physical defense. Their special ability is, uh… probably holding enemy aggro/concentrating enemy attacks on themselves. :|a I'm not sure.
Whew, was out of town for the weekend though had intermittent Internet, so I got quite a bit done but didn't have the opportunity to upload these until now. :3c I did manage to slam through Jack's birthday quest!!
(You don't want to know how many Phoenix Feathers I used. QQ)
(Sorry, summonodin, you became a live sacrifice to the turtle gods….)
(He has the same birthday as me!!! Ufufu.)
Another pile of screenshots for the road!!
1-2/4-5. Finally rolled through a bunch of gacha tickets trying to get Yain, got Miyabi and dressing gown/casual clothing instead. :U OH WELL. This hair color really goes terribly with all this Suzaku red but I like it anyway sshhhh. The obvious solution was to add sunset red to the mix. :U :UU
3. Finally got a somewhat decent gun!! :D :DD The recipe dropped and I just happened to have enough mats, good times. Haven't actually tried it out yet.
6-8. JACK'S DUCKLIP FACES ARE IMPORTANT. Obviously. 8)) That fucking Jousai thing is the worst, I'm never going back there. Please don't make me go back there, game…… Jack blushing ridiculously and promising to protect everyone's smiles was 1000% worth it though, what a goober. :D
9. "I think it will be fine if we each bring what we have to the table — I, knowledge, and you, common sense. Isn't making up for each other's flaws part of friendship?"
Trey is my favorite battle character in Type-0 and it's leaking over into my general preferred character rankings, whoops. His appearance in Cinque's flower-viewing bond event was pretty spectacular, too.
Also finally finished Nine's bond quest, jfc (the toupee mystery omfg……). Just King's and Jack's left now. :3c Looks like I'm going to make Class 4 this round, too.


text:
Ship profile: Celebrity Mercury
The Celebrity Mercury begins sailing from Baltimore in the fall. (Photo courtesy of Celebrity Cruise Lines)
Ports of call: Bahamas, Eastern Caribbean
2009 sailing dates: Nov. 9, 21, 30 and Dec. 12, 31
Built: 1997
Gross Tonnage: 77,713
Length: 866 feet
Staterooms: 943 (inside, ocean view, veranda and suite)
Guest Capacity: 1,886 passengers, 908 crew
Registry: Bahamas
Features/amenities: Two pools (one saltwater), AquaSpa, fitness center, internet access, cigar bar, art gallery, casino, specialty shops, theater, golf simulator, conference room and two nightclubs, one with ballroom dance lessons. The Celebrity Network, an in-stateroom interactive television network. offers casino video games, shore excursions previews, room service and in-room movies.
Restaurants: The elegant Manhattan Restaurant, a two-level dining room with floor-to-ceiling windows; three bars, including champagne and martini bars; Elegant Tea serving tea, pastries and sandwiches; and Gourmet Bites, a midnight buffet and three cafes.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Contact details
KoKo Chocolate situated on Kinsale's main Pier, is home to lovingly produced artisan chocolate, handmade right here using the finest sourced ingredients. Coffee, Hot Chocolate & Chocolate Shots to go.
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The post Zen in America filming and ongoing fundraising needs – UPDATE appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
Funding is now an issue again for the film as I've used a good portion of the funds from last year's Kickstarter by now. One major reason for this is that I had originally purchased a reliable used car (a 2003 Nissan Maxima GLE) to replace my 1996 Chevy s10, a $6700 purchase. I figured that would make more sense than constantly using rental cars, even if it cut in to funds in the short term. I've filmed in Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Texas and California to date, and I'll be in Vermont and Maine this September to be with Seishin Peter Wohl and Kobutsu Malone.
The California portion of this trip was fruitful but I will need to get back there in the years to come; it's a bit like a country of its own in size! While there I spent my time filming in the Bay area — San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley, Sebastapol, Santa Rosa, Vallejo. I had the opportunity to interview Jisho Warner of Stone Creek Zen Center, Zen master Bon Soeng of Empty Gate Zen Center, Myo Lahey at Hartford Street Zen Center, Mushim Patricia Ikeda of East Bay Meditation Center, Keido Les Kaye of Kannon-Do Meditation Center, and many others.
I'm starting to see the film take shape with each new interview. It's a bit like piecing together a massive puzzle, with one interviewee leaving off where another has left off. This is an incredible undertaking and I feel honored to be doing this work!
I recently started the second part of fundraising through GoFundMe, a way for people to back causes here on the web. I could really use a rally of support from those who would like to see this film series come to fruition to keep me out there gathering this footage and interviews. I'm endeavoring to document our early importation of Zen here in North America on film, and I need your support.
Thank you to everyone who has given to date, and thanks to all those who will give in this current effort.
GoFundMe Fundraiser for Zen in America: http://www.gofundme.com/zen-in-america
The post Zen in America filming and ongoing fundraising needs – UPDATE appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The post Plain or Sugar Kōan? appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
It's well-known that, in addition to receiving substantial Tendai training on Mt. Hiei, Dōgen was a Dharma-heir in the house of Lin-chi (J.Rinzai), inheriting that mantle from his teacher Myōzen, with whom he traveled to China, and thus through Myōzen's teacher Eisai, the first Rinzai heir in Japan, but with whom Dōgen apparently had limited contact. Dōgen therefore was well-seasoned in Dharma practice before he ever left for China, and was regarded by Myōzen as a mature practitioner of Lin-chi/Rinzai zen. It would be absurd to suggest that Dōgen was anything other than quite familiar with k'an-hua ch'an (J. kanna-zen, kōan introspection) when he and Myōzen arrived in Sung-dynasty China in the 1220's.
In spite of the Chinese penchant for record-keeping, we don't have an especially clear picture of how practice was carried on in Chinese monasteries of the day; in fact, Dōgen's version of that practice is one of the more substantial sources. However, by this time, it was already some fifty years since the celebrated Lin-chi (J. Rinzai) master Ta-hui Tsung-kao had been trumpeting the virtues of what relatively lately had begun to be distinguished as "kōan introspection", or "examining the head-word", i.e. taking as an object or focus of seated cultivation a word or phrase from one of the contemporary collections of zen stories popularly referred to as kung-an or "public records", utilizing a term from Chinese legal practice; unsurprising, given that Ta-hui was the Dharma heir of Yüan-wu Kê-ch'in, himself the author of an extensive commentary on the stories and verses collected by Hsüeh-to Ch'ung-hsien, resulting in the famous Blue Cliff Record (Ch. Pi Yên Lü, J. Hekigan Roku).
In distinct contrast, there was also at the time a practice tradition that had come to be known as "silent illumination" (Ch. mo-chao ch'an, J. mokushō zen), which casual modern students of the era depicted Ta-hui as roundly criticizing, styling it "sitting in stagnant water". The best- known proponent of silent illumination was a contemporary of Ta-hui's, the Ts'ao-tung master T'ien-t'ung Hung-chih, who himself collected one hundred zen stories to which he added his own verses, and which was later commented on extensively by Ts'ao-tung (J. Sōtō) master Wan-sung Hsing-hsiu, entering the rich world of Sung dynasty ch'an literature as the Book of Serenity (Ch. Ts'ung Jung Lü, J. Shōyō Roku). While earlier scholarship postulated a feud between Ta-hui and Hung-chih, more careful scrutiny of the records of the time discloses nothing of the kind; in fact it seems that these masters knew and respected one another, and in fact may have utilized both "methods", as these approaches were coming to be known, as circumstances dictated.
Ta-hui's criticisms, then, were directed at those who misconstrued the practice of Buddha Dharma, whatever the tradition. In addition to scolding those who interpreted "silent illumination" in a way that fostered passivity and quietism, which is most certainly a distortion, he didn't spare those in his own house whose practice was wrong-headed:
These days, the brethren gain their understandings with intellect and emotion. Many of them just recall some idle talk or catchy phrases and bring them in here to use as their answers to my questions. It's as if they have a priceless jewel in their hand, and when someone asks them, 'What's in your hand?', they drop in, and then pick up a lump of dirt… So stupid! If they keep on like this they'll never gain enlightenment!
Such was the environment that Dōgen and Myōzen encountered when they "reached the Great Sung [Dynasty nation]". They initially made for the monastery at Ching-tê-ssu, where their root teacher Eisai had practiced. But it seems that Dōgen was not impressed by what he found, either there or at the other communities he visited. Remember that he was already familiar with k'an-hua ch'an, but if he was expecting a profoundly different expression of that practice in China, he was disappointed. In fact, the story goes that after some three years, during which time Myōzen had died far from home, Dōgen was contemplating returning to Japan, when he heard of a teacher named Ju-ching (J. Nyojō) who was abbot at the large public monastery on T'ien-t'ung Shan (J. Tendō-zan). His subsequent meeting with Ju-ching was, in his telling, pivotal. According to the surviving Chinese records, Ju-ching was not especially remarkable. He too would have had to be familiar with what was "trending" in ch'an practice in those days, and the record of his teaching contains an exhortation to employ "…the iron broom of wu (J. mu)" to sweep away restless thoughts. However, Ju-ching was a lineage holder in the house of Ts'ao-tung (J. Sōtō), and it was those teachings which Dōgen declares were so striking that they elicited what he was to regard as his genuine awakening. Ju-ching apparently agreed, making the ardent, devoted visitor from Japan his Dharma heir. Finally, Dōgen returned to Japan, bringing the teachings of the Sōtō house with him.
There is too much material to cover effectively in what was intended (fail!) to be a straight- forward reply to a web post, so I must refer interested readers to the abundance of writings by modern scholars such as William Bodiford, Carl Bielefeldt, Thomas Cleary, Rev. Shohaku Okumura, Kazuaki Tanahashi-sensei, and my own Dharma brother, Rev. Taigen Leighton. Suffice it to say that upon his return to Japan, Dōgen, all of 28 years old or so, commenced his life's work of bringing Sōtō Zen style and teaching to his own land.
There is some scholarly dispute as to which of his remarkable writings Dōgen produced in what order, but then, dispute is the lifeblood of the modern academy, so that comes as no surprise. Here I would draw the reader's attention to four works in his voluminous oeuvre: the Fukan Zazen Gi, or "The Universal Recommendation of the Principles of Seated Meditation"; the Genjō Kōan, "Actualizing the Fundamental Point"; the portion of his splendid Bendō Wa ("On the Endeavor of the Way") known as the Ji Ju Yū Zammai, sometimes translated as the "Self-fulfilling Samādhi"; and Dōgen's poem the Zazen-shin, or "Lancet of Seated Meditation", his own version inspired by the Ts'o-ch'an Chên of the celebrated Ts'ao-tung master Hung- chih Chung-chüeh. Rather than hunting through Dōgen's marvelous work for stray references to k'an-hua ch'an, the reader is well-advised to absorb and yes, reflect deeply upon, these excellent examples of how the treasure of the house of Ts'ao-tung is expressed in elegant writing.
As is the case with virtually everything Dōgen wrote, appreciating these works will depend in large measure upon familiarity with the practice of shikan-ta-za (lit. "only-hit-sit"), clearly the centerpiece of Dōgen's teaching. In brief, the practice in its totality consists in utilizing posture, be it sitting, standing, walking, or lying down, in such a way as to lend yogic support to the body-mind in alert, dispassionate observation of reality, that is, of things as they are, gently and compassionately releasing our karma-fueled tendencies to evaluate, seek after, eject, possess, grasp, triumphalize, flee from, destroy, improve, disprove, have sex with, murder, etc. whatever may be arising in our phenomenal universe. Lacking thorough, mature experience of such practice, it will be difficult to avoid misconstruing what Dōgen is saying.
In fact, what he is saying has nothing whatever to do with whether k'an-hua ch'an or mo- chao ch'an is "better"; that is a vain and silly argument best left alone. Each limns in its way a valid Dharma path, but that does not suggest that Dōgen even for a moment regarded them as "equivalent". You may rest assured that if he believed that to be true, he would have said so, and in no uncertain terms. Just as it would be misguided to believe that Dōgen would be flummoxed by an encounter with a student immersed in hua-t'ou practice, and somehow unable to offer guidance if he felt that was best given the circumstances, it is equally misguided to believe that his frequent admonitions to "study this deeply", "consider this profoundly", "regard this carefully" amount to a pep-talk to his students who were busily "contemplating a head- word", or gnawing away at Chao-chou's dog. The evidence for that, compared to his unflagging celebration of the massive openness of wholehearted shikan-ta-za, is simply not present. Dōgen was as much a master of using language to loosen the toils of language as was Ācārya Nāgārjuna, and his exhortations such as the foregoing demonstrate his awareness that, as is taught in that quintessentially Ts'ao-tung poem, the Pao-ching San-mei Kê (J. Hōkyō Zammai), or "Song of the Jewel Mirror Samādhi", "The meaning does not reside in the words, but a pivotal moment brings it forth." Pivotal moments are not the property of any particular school, tradition, lineage, or what-have-you. To assert otherwise descends to level of koanista agit-prop, something which, sadly, one still encounters today (present company quite excepted, of course).
Lastly, I'm well aware that there are those who will assert, "Who cares about all that sectarian by-blow? I'm just gonna get enlightened!" To those seeking some "context-free awakening", unencumbered by Buddha, Dharma, Sangha, lineage, teacher, student, practice, tradition, inheritance, gratitude, study, no-study, and so on, I would say, "May good fortune be yours, traveler!", while giving them a wide berth. Your mileage may differ, of course.
The post Plain or Sugar Kōan? appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The post Joshu Sasaki, founder of Rinzai-ji, dead at 107 appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
Sasaki Roshi came to America in 1962 and in 1963 the Rinzai Zen Dojo Association was created, later becoming Rinzai-ji and opening as Cimarron Zen Center in Los Angeles. In 1970 Mount Baldy Zen Center was established, serving as Rinzai-ji's main training facility for monks and nuns.
In more recent years allegations of years of sexual impropriety with some of his female students surfaced online and in print, eventually making it to The New York Times with Mark Oppenheimer's piece "Zen Groups Distressed by Accusations Against Teacher".
The post Joshu Sasaki, founder of Rinzai-ji, dead at 107 appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The post Book Review: Paradise in Plain Sight by Karen Maezen Miller appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
If we're lucky, we have these moments of stepping off a cliff, then later picking up our own pieces. Karen Maezen Miller was so lucky—she and her husband purchased a home in southern California that came with an old Japanese garden, one so massive and overrun and needy that she could never hope to conquer it.
Paradise in Plain Sight is, at least on the surface, a book about loss, or at least I've heard it described in that way. And there is loss—loss of control, loss of youth, loss of the clarity that parents can have when their children are still very young. We could just as easily say it's about letting go. Or acceptance. And we would not be wrong.
It is also, in many ways, a love letter to Miller's first teacher, Taizan Maezumi-roshi. She paints a portrait of the kind of love one doesn't choose, a total falling into someone. Her reflections on Maezumi take on a tone of something near surrender. They also closely reflect her relationship to her garden—from the first moment, she just knew. She knew this man was her teacher; she knew this garden was her work. Whether or not she was up the challenges they presented was beside the point.
I first discovered Miller's work soon after my son was born. Someone recommended Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood to us; I think my wife and I both tore through it in just days. It's not just that her writing is beautiful on a word-by-word level, though it is. Every sentence is crafted just so. And it's also not just that she's relatable. She is, but that's part of the trick she's playing—she writes about parenthood and couplehood and the difficulties of home ownership, and if you want to tell yourself that she's really just writing about those things, you can. I suspect that many people will buy Paradise in Plain Sight for precisely that reason, because on the surface it looks so non-threatening. (I also imagine that some in the Buddhist community will reject the book out of hand for the very same reason.) But "non-threatening" does not accurately describe what Miller is offering.
This book is not about gardening. And it's not about relationships, not exactly. It's about embracing spiritual responsibility. Whether we're talking about a relationship to a teacher, a spouse, or a child; a relationship or a vocation; a garden or the whole world—the question is the same: Do you accept this? It is not: Are you up to the task? If it's really worth doing, you're probably not. So instead, if we're lucky, we find ourselves confronted with the choice to either say yes with the full knowledge that we will fail and suffer and disappoint, or to walk away. Karen Maezen Miller, on page after page, is looking us in the eyes and saying, "Don't walk away."
It's a message delivered in a disarming voice—Miller can be reassuring and funny and gentle all at the same time. But the message doesn't change. We know, ultimately, that hers is a voice we can trust because even at her warmest, she does not succumb to telling us what we want to hear.
Miller said she originally set out to write an "important" book about Buddhism, and when that didn't turn out, she decided to write instead about her garden. We are all guilty of this—we set our sights on a life so imbued with the truth of Buddhist practice that it somehow floats above everything else that we do. We fail at that, and we go about the mundane activities of our lives, and we find that the life we'd been aspiring to is right here in the dirt in our fingernails, in the changing of a diaper, in the scripted greetings we exchange with our coworkers day after day.
But just as we sometimes discover the truth of practice by forgetting to call it anything special, Paradise in Plain Sight, for all its talk of gardening and the little details of domestic life, is one of the most thoroughly and unapologetically Zen books I have read in a long time. This is not easy Buddhism. This is a book that speaks as the tradition itself does: unflinchingly confident and perfectly at home with not knowing. May we all be so fortunate as to one day open a gate and find ourselves standing in a place so spacious, so overgrown and full of possibility. And may we say yes.
Order at Amazon.comParadise in Plain Sight: Lessons from a Zen Garden
The post Book Review: Paradise in Plain Sight by Karen Maezen Miller appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The post Filming in Tulsa and onward to New Mexico appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
I interviewed Ely Kugo DesJardins, an independent Zen practitioner who currently practices at home. This is an angle I definitely want represented in the film as many people find themselves in a similar situation, travelling to retreats. The interview went great but later I heard him sing and was pretty blown away! So we decided to film him singing one of his own original songs and it turned out great. I'll release a clip from the song at some point in the coming weeks.
Tonight I leave Tulsa and leave for Las Cruces, New Mexico, where I'll stay with Daiho Harvey Hilbert and his sangha to film. I'll also be at a variety of other centers in the area, including Mountain Cloud Zen Center, Hokoji, Prajna Zendo, and several others. Looking forward to get to New Mexico and was happy to have captured Ely on film.
The post Filming in Tulsa and onward to New Mexico appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The post The finger that points appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
At the time of writing the piece, I was still very bitter and angry with the woman I was involved with. I'm still processing it and figuring out what it all means for me – that is, why did I allow myself to be abused in the relationship? Was that what I was after and was that my version of love or something?
I always told myself in the years prior to meeting this person that I wasn't looking for love and that I was content just doing my work. But, really, I think I was just avoiding going through what I'd been through in my prior relationship (with someone who did not have BPD).
I met this person at the height of the Joshu Sasaki coverage. She was someone I could open up to about it all, and it felt nice having someone I really liked to divert my attention. Looking back, it was probably my own attempt at self-medication. I was trying to blunt the stress involved. I see that she too came to me under stressful times, from job moves to a litany of health ailments to a teetering relationship with the woman she was then (and probably still is) with. Throughout I was told they were not intimate and that she wanted to leave. I would never have entered the relationship if I felt that she was already involved. Amazing that I bought that, eh…?
Because I met her while she identifies currently as a Buddhist, I never would have suspected any mirroring. I didn't question our matching Enneagram or Myers-Briggs or suggestions of being a potential soul mate (she never actually called me that, but she sure liked to talk about the idea of it, leaving me to fill in the blanks). I never questioned any of the stories she told me to garner sympathy, ranging from Lyme Disease, to hysterectomies, to arrhythmia, to bowel troubles, to sexual abuse….you name it. To this day I cannot distinguish fact from fiction regarding that history as I was gaslighted, manipulated or lied to throughout.
Initially I wanted to lay blame somewhere (namely, solely at her). Life seems nice and easy when the source of all our troubles is somewhere outside of ourselves. Obviously a personality disorder throws a gigantic monkey wrench in to things, but I chose to stay anyway. I chose to be walked on, manipulated and lied to. I guess I didn't love myself as much as I'd like to think and I'd not done enough work on myself as I had thought in the years prior (a thought which helped me muster the courage to approach my crush in the first place).
She was like an addiction. It's like a coke addict who snorts mountains only to find a bloody nose and a heart that might explode by the day's end, excitedly going back for seconds and thirds. You have to be a masochist for that kind of thing, and you surely aren't enamored with yourself.
I'm still processing it all and I'm not going to lie – I've been rather depressed of late. It's been cutting in to my work (as did the relationship itself). I don't want her back and there is no hope of any relationship between she and I, but I do start getting anxious, thinking I'll be alone all of my life and that I'll never find someone who fits. I also still feel betrayed, but that's becoming less pronounced. I know now this was never personal. This is just how she survives. I was just the next potential savior, I believe. That helps. I do care about her still and have empathy for her and others with this condition, but I'm glad it is over. I clung to hope for longer than was healthy.
I wanted to write this for two reasons tonight. Mainly, I am processing this stuff still and it helps me to just put it out there, but I also wanted to bring attention to this particular disorder because many of you might be in a similar situation without a name for it. You might just be confused all of the time. Below is the best documentary on BPD I've found, and I've watched and read a lot in the last year and a half. I hope it helps and starts you on your own path to reclaiming your dignity and healing.
PS: I'll be in New Mexico all of May filming for Zen in America. I'll try and update this website as best I can and am very sorry for not having done so until now. Thank you.
The post The finger that points appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The post Remembering Peter Matthiessen, Zen Peacemaker and author appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
Matthiessen had been working on his final book, "In Paradise," a novel based on experiences at three Bearing Witness retreats, the yearly meditation retreats at the Nazi concentration camp in Auschwitz-Birkenau offered by the Zen Peacemakers (of which he was a member).
A writer of great distinction, Matthiessen's book "Shadow Country" won the 2008 National Book Award in Fiction. His book, "The Snow Leopard," a spiritual classic, chronicled his travels in the Himalayas and his spiritual journey following the death of his second wife, Deborah Love; the book is considered to be some of his finest writing, winning the 1979 National Book Award in the Contemporary Thought category.Peter Muryo Matthiessen was a Sōtō Zen roshi and student of Bernie Glassman, a co-founder of the Zen Peacemakers. You can pick up a copy of Matthiessen's 2010 book "Are We There Yet?: A Zen Journey Through Space and Time," co-authored with Peter Cunningham, to read an account of his travels with Glassman in Japan.
Yale-educated Matthiessen was recruited by the CIA around 1950, dispatched to France to report home the activities of Americans living there. He co-founded The Paris Review in 1953 with Harold Humes and George Plimpton, providing him a legitimate cover while working covertly for the United States government.
Matthiessen founded Ocean Zendo out of his home in Sagaponack after marrying Love. He is survived by his wife Maria Eckhart, his two sons and two daughters from previous marriages and his two step-daughters and six grandchildren. You can read a remembrance of Matthiessen by Bernie Glassman over at the Zen Peacemakers website – Roshi Peter Muryo Matthiessen.
Editor's Note: We apologize for not reporting on the death of Peter Matthiessen before now.Nine-Headed Dragon River: Zen Journals 1969-1982 (Shambhala Dragon Editions)
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The post Living Zen, let's talk appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
When we make life our teacher, everything is OK. We encounter an unexpected turn in the road, we ask, "what's this?" Life reveals itself to us in that moment, and we reveal ourselves to it.
This means that all the things we practice to get rid of, greed, hatred, and delusion, serve us. It is these, then, that are our true teachers. Far from wanting to remove them, we should bow to them, as they are our humanity.
Many of us do not see it this way and take them on as masters or fight with them as bitter enemies. It is as though we are blind tigers trying to eat.
So, our practice is not to remove them, or to embrace them, but rather to change our relationship to them in a way that is in harmony with the natural state of things. In one case, they are in service to us, in the worst case, we are in service to them.
It is in this change of relationship that the teachers themselves, and thus the entire universe, are transformed: greed becomes generosity, hatred becomes compassion, and delusion becomes wisdom.
My book is nothing special. I wrote it over the course of a year taking small aspects of my life and trying to understand them and/or explicate them in such a way as to offer a teaching. I truly believe our everyday life is our teacher and every aspect of it is pregnant with instruction. For the most part, I was actually a student of myself in this process.
I cannot say whether my work will help anyone. I do hope it will raise personal, internal questions. I hope it will help people practice in a way much larger than simple Zendo attendance.
Yet, all of this is out of the writer's control. While a reader is an essential aspect of what the author writes, it is the dynamics of the reader and writer in concert that produces the art of writing. If you should get your hands on a copy, please don't hesitate to offer your view of the work. I would very much like to hear from you.
The book is available from Amazon.com in paperback as well as a Kindle download.Living Zen: The Diary of an American Zen Priest
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The book is based on a series of talks given on the Heart Sutra by Taisen Deshimaru, Roshi in Paris between 1977 and 1978. Deshimaru, a student of Kodo Sawaki, was instrumental to introducing Zen study and practice to Europe. While originally presented as a series of oral teachings the book maintains a good level of continuity. Deshimaru conveys a strong sense of scholarship without a loss of directness. I believe that this is the result of careful and sensitive editing of this new edition by Richard Collins who is both a dharma teacher and an English scholar, holding the Ph.D. in English literature. His thoughtful introduction sets the tone for the book and captures its essence. For instance, he writes:
As a Soto sangha in the tradition of Dogen Zenji, the New Orleans Zen Temple asked something else of me: simply to empty my preconceptions and to live in the here and now, doing what needed to be done, with a mushotoku attitude, with no thought of personal profit or gain (pp. xi-xii).
Mushotoku (no gain, no profit) serves as the central organizing theme of this collection of dharma talks, which consistently, repeatedly, cogently and convincingly point us again and again back to the traditional Soto shusho itto ("practice/realization") approach to Zen promulgated by Dogen Zenji (1200 – 1253), while simultaneously unpacking the many core Buddhist teachings condensed into this brief sutra such as the identity of the relative and the absolute, the twelve links on the wheel of dependent-origination and the Four Noble Truths. Despite this broad-based and detailed attention to a wide range of Mahayana teachings presented in this collection of talks, Deshimaru consistently and repeatedly emphasizes the primacy of practice. For example, in defining, discussing and clarifying the notion of ku, typically translated as "emptiness," or "void," he provides the alternative translation of "plentitude of emptiness" or "potential plentitude." In this way he cuts through the tendency to misconstrue ku as a nihilistic notion. He concludes his discussion by reminding the reader "its essence though is zazen" (p. 27) [And] "Thus the Hannya Shingyo is ultimately about zazen … " (p. 28).
The layout of the book is divided into an introduction and five parts and serves to make the text clear and accessible. These sections include:
Each commentary is embellished with calligraphy, phonetic transcription and translation of the line under discussion. I have found that the individual commentaries, for the most part, are self-contained and brief enough to serve effectively as teachings before, between or after rounds of zazen. They also serve very well as anchors and jumping-off points for sangha discussions. The talks are clear, concise and poignant as well as highly relevant to practice from the Soto Zen approach to Buddhism.
I would like to say a few words about the particular orientation of this strand of Soto Zen. Located as it is within the Mahayana tradition, Deshimaru seems to emphasize a return to "original enlightened mind" articulated for instance, as "returning to the source." For example he notes that through practice "Everything returns to its original undifferentiated nature" (p. 80). An alternative view, also influenced by Dogen can be stated as: "We become aware of the present manifestation of the undifferentiated aspect of being." I think that this differentiation is important to keep in mind. Various teachers tend to emphasize different aspects of Soto Zen along with alternative interpretations of basic Mahayana teachings. This distinction is, in my opinion, particularly important for western students who having been steeped in Judeo-Christian religio-mythic teachings with a teleological emphasis might misconstrue Deshimaru's comments and emphasis on the undifferentiated aspect of being as a sort of return to Eden or to some imagined pristine earlier time. This particular misunderstanding was a sticking point for Dogen. As well For instance, his comments in the Zazenshin fascicle of the Shobogenzo are as relevant today as they were during the 13th Century. He critiques Sung era quietist-oriented meditation manuals and he writes that they are no less than "models for reverting to the source and returning to the origin."2 For the Western reader "return," "origin," or "source" might imply a temporal dimension. However, Dogen's emphasizes the present as the source of all experience. Following Dogen's lead, Deshimaru describes the return to the source as a reconnection to prajna (intuitive wisdom, quick knowing) as the source or origin of true awareness, realization, and experiencing. For example, commenting on the complexity and sophistication of modern life he writes: "… people have lost the ability to perceive directly and intuitively" (p. 60). In this context "source" or "origin" is non-temporal. Rather, it has to do with being present and through the practice of zazen, evoking prajna. This issue becomes further complicated by a Christian influence in Deshimaru's upbringing and education. Sometimes this influence stands out and seems out of place. At other times, it is integrated beautifully and seamlessly into the text and serves to deepen the student's understanding of fundamental Mahayana teachings, particularly the centrality of compassion as expressed in the Bodhisattva vow to save all beings. For instance, in relation to perfection of attitude in zazen, he writes:
For this reason people in the East have deep veneration for the posture of Buddha sitting in zazen. I respect the crucified Christ just as deeply. Both represent the purest symbol of the gift of the self, self-sacrifice for the salvation of humanity (p. 59).
This might be a fine point and I am not interested in splitting hairs. However, given the extensive distortion of zazen and of meditation in general by contemporary "quietists" I believe that it would be helpful to keep the paradoxical unity/distinction, "one"/ "ten thousand things" in mind when working with the teachings in this valuable contribution to Zen study and practice.
1. I would like to thank the Editor, Richard Collins for his thoughtful reflections, clarifications and responses to my queries.
2. Bielefeldt, C. (1988). Dogen's Manuals of Zen Meditation. Berkeley, University of California Press, p. 136.↩
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The post Eight Ways GUDO WAFU NISHIJIMA Will Help Change ZEN BUDDHISM appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
In a series of essays in the coming weeks, I hope to expand on each of these points. I will not assert that all are original ideas to Nishijima alone. There are many other folks these days who share such views to varying degrees. Nonetheless, what was unique about Nishijima Roshi was how thoroughly and energetically he called for a new vision of Zen Buddhism. Suchness transcends time, place and change, while Buddhist Truth is not dependent on outer wrappings. Yet, Buddhist traditions and practices must constantly change as they encounter new times, places and cultures. I believe that these eight changes which Nishijima symbolizes will have lasting effects on the future of Zen in the West; and Treeleaf Sangha, where I am one teacher, is dedicated and committed to their furtherance.
1 – STEPPING THROUGH THE TRADITIONAL FOURFOLD CATEGORIES OF PRIEST & LAY, MALE & FEMALE: Unlike most Buddhist clergy in Asia, Japanese priests typically marry and are not celibate. Some look at this as a great failing of Japanese Buddhism, a break from 25 centuries of tradition. In Japan and the West, even some Japanese lineage priests and lay teachers themselves are unsure of their own identity and legitimacy, and of their roles compared to each other. With great wisdom, Nishijima transcended all such questions and limiting categories. He advocated a way of stepping right through and beyond the whole matter, of finding living expressions where others saw restriction, and of preserving the tradition even as things change. While he was a champion of the celibate way (Nishijima Roshi, although married, turned to a celibate lifestyle for himself upon ordination), he never felt that celibacy was the only road for all priests. Nishijima advocated a form of ordination that fully steps beyond and drops away divisions of "Priest or Lay, Male or Female", yet allows us to fully embody and actuate each and all as the situation requires. In our lineage, we are not ashamed of nor try to hide our sexuality and worldly relationships, nor do we feel conflicted that we are "monks" with kids and mortgages. When I am a parent to my children, I am 100% that and fully there for them. When I am a worker at my job, I am that and embody such a role with sincerity and dedication. And when I am asked to step into the role of hosting zazen, offering a dharma talk, practicing and embodying our history and teachings and passing them on to others, I fully carry out and embody 100% the role of "Priest" in that moment. Whatever the moment requires: maintaining a sangha community, bestowing the Precepts, working with others to help sentient beings. The names we call ourselves do not matter. In Nishijima's way, we do not ask and are unconcerned with whether we are "Priest" or "Lay", for we are neither that alone, while always thoroughly both; exclusively each in purest and unadulterated form, yet wholly all at once. It is just as, in the West, we have come to step beyond the hard divisions and discriminations between "male" and "female", recognizing that each of us may embody all manner of qualities to varying degrees as the circumstances present, and that traditional "male" and "female" stereotypes are not so clear-cut as once held. So it is with the divisions of "Priest" and "Lay".
2 – FINDING OUR PLACE OF PRACTICE AND TRAINING "OUT IN THE WORLD": For thousands of years, it was nearly impossible to engage in dedicated Zen practice except in a monastic setting, to access fellow practitioners, teachers and teachings, to have the time and resources and economic means to pursue serious practice, except by abandoning one's worldly life. By economic and practical necessity, a division of "Priest" and "Lay" was maintained because someone had to grow the food to place in the monks' bowls, earn the wealth to build great temples, have children to keep the world going into the next generation. Although Mahayana figures like Vimalakirti stood for the principle that liberation is available to all, the practical situation was that only a householder with Vimalakirti's wealth, leisure and resources might have a real chance to do so. Now, in modern societies with better distributions of wealth (compared to the past, although we still have a long way to go), 'leisure' time, literacy and education, media access and means of travel and communication across distances, many of the economic and practical barriers to practice and training have been removed. This is the age when we may begin to figuratively "knock down monastery walls", to find that Buddha's Truths may be practiced any place, without divisions of "inside" walls or "outside". For some of us, the family kitchen, children's nursery, office or factory where we work diligently and hard, the hospital bed, volunteer activity or town hall are all our "monastery" and place of training. We can come to recognize the "monastery" located in buildings made of wood and tile as in some ways an expedient means, although with their own power and beauty too. There are still times when each of us can benefit from periods of withdrawal and silence, be it a sesshin or ango, or the proverbial grass hut in distant hills. Yes, this Way still needs all manner of people, each pursuing the paths of practice suited to their needs and circumstances, be they temple priests catering to the needs of their parishioners, hermits isolated in caves, celibate monks in mountain monasteries, or "out in the world" types demonstrating that all can be found right in the city streets and busy highways of this modern world. Nishijima, a zen priest yet a working man, a husband and father most of his life, stood for a dropping of "inside" and "out". He was someone that knew the value of times of retreat, but also the constant realization of these teachings in the home, workplace and soup kitchens.
3 – SAVING ZEN PRACTICE FROM THE 'FUNERAL CULTURE' DOMINANT IN JAPAN & THE CREEPING INSTITUTIONAL "CHURCHNESS" APPEARING IN THE WEST: Buddhist priests in Japan play an important role in soothing the hearts of their parishioners during times of mourning. Funerals and memorial services are important aspects of Japanese tradition, as in all cultures. However, Japanese Zen, and other flavors of Buddhism, have become excessively focused on "funeral culture", almost to the exclusion of all else. Except for shining lights scattered here and there who try to keep the ways of Dogen and Zazen alive, most Japanese Soto Zen priests do not even bother with the sitting of Zazen after their youthful training stint in the monastery. The massive Buddhist institutions of Japan, including the Rinzai and Soto schools, have become licensing guilds turning out conveyor belt priests (usually temple sons compelled into training in order to take over the "funeral business" franchise of their family's managed temple). Nishijima was ordained and received Dharma Transmission from Rempo Niwa Zenji, the then Abbot of Eihei-ji, the senior Soto Zen monastery. Niwa was then the de facto "Pope" of the Soto Sect yet, knowing that Nishijima was a critic of the whole system he headed, Niwa nonetheless empowered Nishijima as a teacher based on Niwa's own shared desire to help reform Soto Zen. Right now, in America and Europe, there is a tendency among some big Zen institutions to also grow into large zen "churches", institutions concerned with preserving their own views of doctrinal "Orthodoxy", with preserving their status, the authority of their priests, their rights to determine the legitimacy of Ordinations, all by themselves establishing domestic systems of guild membership. Many zen groups in America and Europe often seem to have become too concerned with preserving their turf, donations and influence within the Zen world, acting sometimes "more Japanese than the Japanese", filled with cliquishness, politics and an "old boys club" attitude toward rooting out the few bad apples of ethical violators. Some other Zen groups have been downright "cultish" in their behavior (we should not be afraid to call a spade a spade on this issue). Of course, the maintenance of basic standards for priest training and ethics are very necessary and to be applauded. Our Treeleaf Sangha fully supports such efforts. The question, however, is where to draw the line between needed standards and helpful training, versus certain groups' protecting their own primacy, exclusivity, authority and narrow dogma.
4 – OFFERING A HOME TO ZEN FOLKS WHO ARE REFUGEES FROM INSTITUTIONALISM, SECT POLITICS AND SCANDAL IN CERTAIN PARTS OF THE ZEN WORLD: Nishijima provided a haven for many vibrant Zen teachers who were excluded or isolated within other Zen groups in Europe, America and Japan. The situations took many forms: people fleeing the internal politics and factionalism in the Sangha where they first practiced; those blocked by glass ceilings and closed guilds in Japan and elsewhere; Japanese uninterested in joining "funeral culture"; those fleeing cultish behavior and unethical teachers; Christian clergy interested in practicing Zen as Christians; gifted Zen priests and teachers interested in combining Zen practice with home, work and "in the world" life without desire or ambition for monastic training; and people alienated by the doctrinal interpretations and dogma they were encountering in other groups. I often refer to this bunch, very diverse in character and personality, as the "Island of Misfit Zen Toys" (referring to an old children's program in the US seen each year at Christmas, about an island where all the broken and misfit toys went to live from Santa's workshop until they found a home). Nishijima provided a home to such folks, each very devoted to this Zen path in his or her own sincere way. Our Treeleaf Sangha, and Nishijima's other students, will continue to serve as a haven for other "misfit toys" in the future.
5 – A RESPECT FOR TRADITION, YET AN EMPHASIS ON FINDING BRAND NEW EXPRESSIONS SUITABLE FOR MODERN TIMES AND WESTERN CULTURE: Nishijima was thoroughly imbued with the spirit of Dogen, was (with his student Chodo Cross) the translator of Dogen's complete Shobogenzo into modern Japanese and English, and held that Master Dogen had found ways to express the Buddhist teachings rarely heard until that time. Nonetheless, despite his profound trust in the teachings of Dogen, Nishijima was never a prisoner of Dogen. Among the many treasured teachings of Dogen which are timeless and survive the centuries, Nishijima knew that others were primarily the views and expressions of a man living amid the society and superstitions of 12th century Japan. Those of Dogen's writings directed primarily to his band of monks at Eiheiji and elsewhere must be placed side by side with Dogen's other pronouncements recognizing the possibilities of Zen practice for people in all situations in life. The teachings of Dogen are not simply for monks isolated in the snowy mountains, but are for all of us. His words, if appropriate only to his day and culture, should be left to his day and culture. Buddhism, and Dogen's teachings, can be brought forth and adapted for our places and times. Is this not so for the teachings of so many of our Zen ancestors beyond Dogen as well? I remember, for example, asking Nishijima once about the "right way" to conduct a "Soto Zen funeral" for a good friend who had died in America. Nishijima told me that ultimately I should make a new, heartfelt ritual to honor my friend. He told his students in America, Europe and elsewhere to do things in sincere ways suitable for our cultures and societies, inspired by tradition, perhaps, yet finding new ways to express the same.
6 – AN INTERPRETATION OF ZAZEN AS THE FULFILMENT OF REALITY ITSELF: One key aspect of Dogen's teachings that Nishijima fully danced, and all his students dance with him, is that Zazen is the fulfillment of Reality itself. On that, nothing more is in need of saying here.
7 – LOOKING FOR COMMON GROUND AND THE COMPATIBILITY OF BUDDHIST TEACHINGS, ZEN AND ZAZEN WITH WESTERN PHILOSOPHY AND SCIENCE: Like D.T. Suzuki, Masao Abe and other Japanese Zen figures of his time, Nishijima thought that Zen teachings could best be introduced to a Western audience via finding common ground with Western philosophy. Years before it was common to load meditators into MRI machines, Nishijima spoke of the connection of Zazen to the brain and human nervous system, influenced by the then cutting-edge research on meditation and the so-called "relaxation response" by Harvard's Dr Herbert Benson and others. However, I wish to say honestly that Nishijima was not a professional philosopher nor a trained scientist. He tried to express from his own heart all encountered in Zazen. For that reason, he frequently spoke in very personal and, perhaps, too simplified ways on both Western philosophical concepts and, as a scientific layman, about all that is happening in the body and brain. It is only in recent years that we have come to understand that many separate physiological and neurological systems are interlinked in complex ways, each coming to play in Zazen and meditation. Nevertheless, Nishijima stood for the meeting and fundamental compatibility of Buddhist tenets and scientific method.
8 – AVOIDING SUPERSTITION, FANTASY, MIRACLES & MAGICAL INCANTATION IN BUDDHISM: One person's "sacred and cherished belief" is another person's "hocus-pocus and nonsense". Sometimes seemingly exotic practices and legends can possess a psychological power and poetry which opens the human heart, even if not "literally true". While recognizing that fact, Nishijima Roshi sought to present Zen practice freed of naive beliefs and superstitions, exaggerated claims and idealized myths masquerading as historical events even in our own Zen traditions, all of which can bury and hide the very real power of our Buddhist way in a pile of ignorance and foolishness. I, and many of his other students, join him in that task.
In such eight ways, and many others, Gudo Wafu Nishijima changed Zen Buddhism and continues to do so. His legacy lives on in his many students around the world and his teachings will further enrich and transform our tradition into the future.
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The post Reaching for the Pillow appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
Daowu said, "It's just like a person in the middle of the night reaching in search of a pillow."
Yunyan said, "I understand."
Daowu said, "How do you understand it?
Yunyan said, "All over the body are hands and eyes."
Daowu said, "What you said is all right, but it's only eighty percent of it."
Yunyan said, "I'm like this, elder brother. How do you understand it?"
Daowu said, "Throughout the body are hands and eyes."
I have heard that the current Chinese government fears and represses the Taoists, because over the course of that country's history they have periodically emerged from the mountains and led populist revolts against the ruling regime. History has shown that when they decide to act, they are a force to be reckoned with. On the other hand, Buddhists in China currently face much less repression because their history has been passive; they have no record of emerging from their monasteries to lead the people toward political change.
In a sense, that is our heritage as Buddhists, one of political quietism, in spite of some notable exceptions in recent times, such as in Vietnam and Myanmar. It appears that there are several broadly held perspectives within the contemporary American Buddhist community that support this basic tendency to eschew political and social controversy.
The first of these is the idea that the affairs of this world are unimportant, that a higher spiritual plane, that of the Absolute or Emptiness, is the true reality and that, dwelling there, we are freed from suffering in this life. A similar, more contemporary, idea is that we practice in order to live exclusively in the present moment, to be "mindful," and therefore personally liberated, calm, and free from stress and strife.
Zen is a Mahayana practice, though. As such, it isn't aimed at dwelling in the Absolute, living in Nirvana. Zen talks about the relative and the absolute as being one, a fully integrated reality. As Shitou Xiqian reminds us in The Sandokai, "to encounter the absolute is not yet enlightenment." In the final stages of practice, we must lose our attachment to the Absolute, using our realization to inform our actions as we enter the marketplace to deal with the often difficult, messy, and painful actualities of this world of Samsara.
The Mahayana goal is to save all beings. This is actualized through the Bodhisattva archetype, which is that of a person who gives up their own place in Nirvana to return to this world for the sake of all beings. One way to understand this is not in the context of actual death and rebirth, but rather in the sense that we constantly need to relinquish Nirvana, defined as the blissful state that is experienced when residing in the Absolute. Instead, the Bodhisattva continually returns to the world of Samsara for the sake of other beings. We must be reborn in each moment.
A second reason for avoiding social/political action is the idea that enlightenment, or deep spiritual awakening, should be a prerequisite for taking action. Until we have had that experience, some argue, we should focus solely, single-pointedly on our practice. This viewpoint is based on several misapprehensions, the foremost of which is that enlightenment is an actual object, a discrete, observable, constant "thing" that appears at some moment in a person's life.
Perhaps this mistaken belief is fueled by accounts of very dramatic, sudden kensho experiences, such as those published in Philip Kapleau's The Three Pillars of Zen, a foundational text for many Western practitioners. Firstly, while such experiences do occur, for most people the process is not that dramatic. Rather, realization occurs as a succession of openings, each helping to gradually deepen the person's awareness. Secondly, referring again to Shitou Xiqian's statement that encountering the absolute is not yet enlightenment, even when an earth-shaking sudden kensho does occur, many years of practice remain before that experience is fully integrated into the person's life. And even then it remains a practice of moment to moment awareness to sustain the open, realized state.
I believe it is most accurate to say that one is never enlightened, but that enlightenment is something that we aspire towards as we practice throughout our lifetime, awakening again and again in each moment. It is not a constant state that we can reach and reside in, if we are to fulfill our Bodhisattva vows. Rather than remaining aloof, we must engage intimately with the suffering of this world. If we are waiting for enlightenment as a prerequisite for action, we will allow the possibilities of a lifetime to pass us by.
A third reason often given for avoiding action is that, by simply sitting and saving ourselves, we are in fact changing the world, and therefore we should invest all of our energy there. I do not dispute the first part of that belief. This is truly One Body, and therefore our lives do matter, our awakening does change the entire universe. Nor do I take complete exception to the second part of that idea. Awakening does take a powerful single-pointed effort. But I don't agree that needs to supersede everything in our lives. While we need to apply assiduous effort in both our daily practice of zazen and in the intense environment of sesshins, we should also invest ourselves wholeheartedly and without hesitation in the rest of our lives. That, too, is practice; that, too, is Zen. If fact, for those of us who are householders, Zen practice cannot take precedence, if we are to maintain balance, in our complex multi-dimensional lives.
Still, from the first time we sit down on the cushions we get glimpses of clarity, moments of less self-centered, more open awareness. Regardless of how long we have practiced, or whether we believe ourselves to be "enlightened" or not, those times of clear insight need to become the basis for action. As we sit here today, we are in the sixth era of species extinction, a time when more species are disappearing from the Earth than in the time of the dinosaurs. This is truly an emergency of epic proportions, especially since the vast majority of these extinctions are the result of human activity.
Additional consequences of that activity are the rapidly shifting climate as carbon dioxide emissions rise, the depletion of the ozone layer, large scale processes of deforestation and desertification, nuclear accidents, global resource depletion, and so on… Never before has all life on Earth been in such jeopardy. This is further compounded by the fact that competition for dwindling resources is resulting in human conflicts. Blood is being shed for oil, but that may be nothing compared to the future conflicts as not just oil, but also Earth's water supplies, vanish.
I would argue that as Zen practitioners we must act as the koan says, "like reaching for the pillow in the middle of the night." When the pillow slips away we don't stop and think, "I must remain focused on the Absolute, I am not concerned with the unimportant fact that my head is uncomfortable." Neither do we wonder whether we are enlightened enough to reach for the pillow or imagine that, because we sat zazen that day, the world has changed and pillows are no longer necessary. We act completely reflexively. There is no thought; we just reach out and stuff the pillow back under our heads.
That is a description of the action of compassion. True compassion is spontaneous, natural, and comes from a deep place of "not knowing." In the Zen Peacemaker Order, there is a simple template for Buddhists to follow in taking action, which has three parts. Not knowing is the first of these, followed by bearing witness and loving action. Not knowing means just that, letting go off all that we think we know about a situation, including our conceptions, our preconceptions, our beliefs about right and wrong, and most importantly, the very idea of separation. We enter the situation completely open and unfettered, and therefore able to respond as the situation requires.
Secondly, we bear witness. This is an extremely powerful way to interact with the realities suffering, destruction, violence and death. In bearing witness, we sustain our gaze. We hold the intimate space open, refusing to close our eyes, turn away, or to use psychological mechanisms to protect and distance ourselves. In this case, we must not allow ourselves to be diverted by despair. We cannot simply say, "The problems are too big, there is nothing I can do." It may sound trite, but every day we are either part of the problem or part of the solution. If we face the source of our despair directly, we don't allow it to rob us of our power. Remarkable things can begin to happen when we allow this direct encounter to happen.
Finally, we act with lovingkindness. In this case, it is necessary that we interact with the world, Gaia, in such a manner that we treat the great Earth itself, as well as all beings within this vast, pulsing, living organism, with love and kindness. Simply, as in the perspective of the Deep Ecology movement, we must consider the well-being of the entire biotic community as part our self, rather than viewing it through the lens of our narrowly defined human needs. We must not only do this in our major resource allocation decisions, but in even the minutest aspects of our daily lives. That means we cannot live in a dream state, acting blindly, unaware of the consequences. We must awaken in every minute, open into not knowing, bearing witness to the deep realities of our actions and their consequences, and allowing this realization to give birth to clear, decisive, loving action on behalf of the world.
When our minds are in the right condition, it is very, very simple, like reaching for the pillow in the middle of the night! Practice is the hard work of bringing our minds into that condition, again and again.
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On this 24th Memorial of Katagiri Roshi's death, I offer his "Plum Blossoms IV" to you, dear reader.
You can view the other installments here: Plum Blossoms I, Plum Blossoms II, and Plum Blossoms III).
Once again, David Casacuberta poured his big heart into the transcribing (thank you, David!) and someone who vaguely resembles the guy on the left (me on my homeleaving day in 1984 with Katagiri Roshi) again made a mess of it by doing the editing.
"Plum Blossoms" was a series of talks given during Rohatsu, 1988 – Katagiri Roshi's last Rohatsu and last of many seven-day sesshins. There are only six talks rather than seven because Roshi became quite sick and couldn't give the last talk. Fittingly, toward the end of this piece, he turns his attention to death.
And also fittingly, he didn't finish commenting on "Plum Blossoms," really just got started. Probably would have taken another four or five sesshins to work through it all.
It seems that so much in this great life is left undone, only to be forgotten, or perhaps for others to pick up and complete in their own way.
Here's Roshi:
Dogen Zenji says this in his "Plum Blossoms" fascicle of Shobogenzo:
When the old plum tree suddenly opens, the world of blossoming flowers arises. At the moment when the world of blossoming flowers arises, spring arrives. There is a single blossoms that opens in five petals. At this moment of a single blossom, there are three, four and five blossoms, hundreds, myriads billions of blossoms -countless blossoms. These blossomings are not-being-proud of one, two or countless branches of the old plum tree. An udumbara blossom and blue lotus blossoms are also one or two branches of the old plum tree's blossoms. Blossoming is the old plum tree offering.
The old plum tree is between the human and heavenly worlds in treeness. Myriads and billions of blossoms are Buddha ancestors blossoms. In such a moment, 'all the Buddhas have appeared in the world' is shouted; 'The ancestor was originally in this land!' is shouted.
In this case, when the old plum tree suddenly opens, flowers bloom and the world arises, spring arises. They are not separate.
Even if you don't understand, we continue to say this, otherwise it is very difficult to have the opportunity to be oneness. Even through the ear the words come, you don't understand, but it is wonderful.
We usually think that spring comes then flowers bloom. But in terms of Buddha's eye, flowers blooming is simultaneous with spring arising. Shakyamuni Buddha and Zen ancestors continuously are telling so.
Bodhidharma said, "There is a single blossom that opens five petals."
Dogen said in "Flowers in the Sky," "One flower opens with five petals, and ripens on its own accord."
The presence of a single event is intimately connected with five blossoms. The reality that you have attended this sesshin is because this single event is already connected to many conditioned factors. Then this event arises. That is called sesshin is sesshin. One is never two. So that is total picture of existence.
"At this moment a single blossom becomes three, four, five, hundreds, myriads of blossoms." And the world arises. One is one, Katagiri is Katagiri, sesshin is sesshin. Not a single existence is separated from all beings.
First you have to understand the place beyond time and space but simultaneously it must be connected and digested with all sentient beings. All things in your body and mind. Then it is really alive. That is called "Buddha" – one single blossom blooming.
"These blossomings are not-being-proud of one, two or countless branches of the old plum tree."
Dharma arises without leaving anything behind but a pure sense of activity. This is the elemental factor of existence. So the blossoms are not proud of one, two, three or countless branches.
The old plum tree is you. The old plum tree is Katagiri and it is beyond Katagiri.
"An udumbara blossom and blue lotus blossoms are also one or two branches of the old plum tree's blossoms."
The udumbara flower refers to when Buddha presented a flower to the assembly and Mahakasyapa smiled. The plum tree is exactly the udumbara flower that Shakyamuni held up. Blooming is the old plum tree's offering.
Even if you don't like your life, it is blooming. The essential factors of your life are always giving you offerings to let the flowers of your life bloom.
The plum tree is the human world and the heavenly world. "Heavenly world" means the idealistic world and "human world" is the realistic world. The plum tree blooms in both the idealistic and the realistic worlds. Not separated. That's why Dogen says it manifest in both worlds with its treeness.
There are hundreds of thousands of blossoms, heavenly and human, myriads of blossoms are Buddha ancestors' blossoms. At such a time, "all the Buddhas have appeared in the world" is shouted and "the ancestor was originally in this land" is shouted. It is a great opportunity when one flower blooms because they are interconnected, interpenetrated with many conditional elements, functioning in dynamism, praising the life of Buddha.
"All the Buddhas have appeared in the world," is from the Lotus Sutra. It says that the reason the Buddha was born in this world was to open human's eyes and guide them to enlightenment to dwell in the Buddha's world.
"The ancestor was originally in this land," means "I am originally in this land to transmit dharma and save deluded sentient beings."
"I am originally in this land" refers to China. Bodhidharma came to China in 6thCentury to teach Buddhism by sitting in zazen for nine years. Bodhidharma sitting for nine years at the Shaolin temple manifested his life and Buddha's teaching.
For instance, when I came to the United States there were many changes for me. But strictly speaking I am facing the wall with nothing to teach you and nothing you can get from me. You are also facing the wall. Day to day you have to take care of it. And then many different worlds come: San Francisco, Minneapolis, etc. Basically, you have to be in the same location, always. Sitting for nine years. That's the meaning of Bodhidharma's sitting.
"This land" is not something different from me. I am this land. At that time, you can begin to take action, teaching and helping all sentient beings to walk hand in hand. If this land is separated from me, if your human life is separated from me and from the rocks, tiles, and pebbles, it is very difficult to give warm heart.
This is our practice. Zazen and you are not separated. You are zazen, then you can really get emotions, and warm feelings towards zazen and you really can teach and understand, walking with zazen hand-in-hand for a long time. Otherwise you cannot do zazen for a long time and you cannot teach Zen. If you try, your teaching will be very narrow, just using words. This is a key point on how we live, how we walk with all sentient beings, lifetime after lifetime.
Your life is stretched to every inch of the universe so your body is a huge body (laughs). That's why in the Lotus Sutra it is expressed the Buddha's body as 16 feet tall with a golden body. Where you are right now is beyond time and space.
That's why Bodhidharma mentions that there is a single blossom that opens one, two, three, millions of blossoms. Nevertheless, there is no egoistic sense of "I" arising nor of "I" perishing. It is exactly pure. No sense of pride, no sense of fragrance. Just come, just gassho, just sit down. Be the intersections. That is pure location for everyone. Then simultaneously, in that location the big world opens. That is the flowers blooming and world arising.
Your moment-time is exactly in the same location as Buddha's location, Bodhidharma's location. Pure time is open to everyone, plum trees, lakes, past, present, future. Very naturally, that time you can see and Bodhidharma can see and Buddha Shakyamuni can see.
Therefore, through continuous practice you can actualize Shakyamuni Buddha. For example, when you sew a rakusu and take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Just like this, Shakyamuni Buddha can be actualized by your continuous practice day to day.
Just like this, gassho is not your gassho, it is the same gassho that Shakyamuni or Bodhidharma did.
So finally, when I die, the whole world dies. When I come to this moment, the whole world is me – then I can die very peacefully because nothing different. If I see something very different from me, so called Zen Center, then I wonder how the Zen Center will continue after my death, and I think my spirit will be haunting all over the Zen Center always.
At that time my death is not peaceful. If I die in peace, in that moment death is exactly death, occupying the whole world.
The post Plum Blossoms IV for Roshi's 24th Memorial Day appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The post Sitting behind bars in Tehachapi appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
About forty miles from Bakersfield lies the dry, stark, windblown Cummings Valley of the Tehachapi mountains, high enough for scrub oak but too low for evergreens. Among a scattering of houses and vineyards sprawls the cement and steel compounds of the eighty-year-old California Correctional Institute, the third oldest prison in California after Folsom (1880) and San Quentin (1852).
The prison opened in 1933 as the California Institution for Women, Tehachapi, the first women's prison in the state, with 28 inmates transferred from San Quentin where they had been housed side-by-side with men with predictable results. The new women's prison was run on progressive lines with the idea that these women (those who were not hanged) could be returned to society better than they came in. They were allowed to make "colorful frocks" fashioned after what was chic in the magazines and even to wear red shoes if they liked, rather than the drab prison garb and dull boots they had sported in San Quentin.
It was into that environment that Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade sent Mary Astor as Brigid O'Shaunessy at the end of The Maltese Falcon (1941): "Well, if you get a good break, you'll be out of Tehachapi in twenty years and you can come back to me then. I hope they don't hang you, precious, by that sweet neck." James M. Cain also referenced the prison in Double Indemnity (1943) when he mentioned a wife who was cleaning her gun when her husband "got in the way."
There was a reason Tehachapi became a byword in the noir films of the 1930s and 1940s. First, it was a new concept and in the news. Also, crimes committed by women like Burmah White (L.A.'s own version of Bonnie Parker) were on the rise with the breakdown of traditional family values that came with the economic hard times of the Depression and the Dust Bowl migration to California (most of the several hundred female inmates in Tehachapi during its "boom" years in the '30s were from the Los Angeles area). You can read more about its history in Kathleen A. Cairns' Hard Time at Tehachapi: California's First Women's Prison (2011). The prison closed after the 1952 Tehachapi earthquake and reopened as a men's prison two years later.
When the airport-like metal detector went off in spite of my having taken off my shoes and emptied my pockets, the guard asked me what that was around my neck, indicating the bib-like garment given to me by my Zen master when I was ordained. I never wear my rakusu outside the dojo where we practice, but I did today. Along with my drivers license, it's all I'm allowed to carry inside. "It's a religious thing," I said. "Oh," said the friendly guard, passing his wand under my arms and between my legs. "I thought maybe it was some kind of bag. You're good to go."
Research has confirmed the value of various kinds of meditation in prisons, even for the most hardened criminals (and guards). Although many wardens and chaplains have shown some resistance, resistance has softened with the hard data that shows a decrease in recidivism for prisoners with an established meditation practice, and with the substantial anecdotal evidence that prisoners who meditate become model prisoners while still incarcerated. One study estimates the economic benefits of meditation in prisons resulting in annual savings of more than $31 million, with about half of the total benefitting correctional institutions and half society at large (David L. Magilla, "Cost Savings from Teaching the Transcendental Meditation Program in Prisons," Journal of Offender Rehabilitation 36:1-4, 2003, pp. 319-331). Most studies have focused on TM, Vipassana, and mindfulness meditation techniques, but for rehabilitation purposes the differences between these techniques appear to be negligible.
One program in Alabama that focuses on Vipassana is the subject of a documentary called Dhamma Brothers http://www.dhammabrothers.com. Testimony from the prisoners is extraordinary and moving. "For the first time, I could observe my pain and grief," states Omar Rahman. "I felt a tear fall. Then something broke, and I couldn't stop sobbing. I found myself in a terrain where I had always wanted to be, but never had a map. I found myself in the inner landscape, and now I had some direction." Another inmate tells how his practice helps him navigate prison life: "When someone cuts in front of you in the chow line, the first reaction is to push him. The Vipassana technique gives you a mental tool to observe the situation. If you give yourself time to think, you are gonna come up with a better solution."
The idea is simple: meditation opens a window on the self and its relation to the rest of the world that causes each person to take responsibility for the consequences of his or her actions.
My guide was a decade-long veteran of prison ministry. We drive past D Block, a relatively peaceful place, where she says they keep former gang members, sex offenders, and homosexuals for their own safety. Occasionally they add a lifer to the mix. Lifers tend to have a calming effect, she said, because they don't like others disturbing the peace of what they consider their home.
Our destination is C Block, where the general population of convicts resides. The fifteen-foot fences are topped with gleaming spirals of razor wire like great ominous Slinky toys. As we approach each inner gate, it opens ahead of us and shuts behind us, seemingly on its own.
The chapel is a nondescript, dingy room with a dirty linoleum floor on a hallway with classrooms on either side. Eight inmates file into the room, and we shake hands and introduce ourselves. They range in age from 20s to 50s, black, Hispanic, white. A couple of them already have an established personal practice. Some are curious. All want to improve their lives.
We push aside the bright orange plastic chairs and spread the grey woolen blankets that serve as cushions. They show me the meditation postures they use on their bunks in their cells.
I invite them to try sitting my style for a while, focusing on those new to the practice. One fellow who has been taking notes is slouching. He seems accommodating, aiming to please. His posture expresses a kind of submissiveness that I have seen cured in the past by a few months of diligent zazen. I come up behind him and press my fist into his lower back, straightening his spine. I get him to lift his collarbone, tuck his chin in, and gaze straight ahead. "Look at him," I say. "Look at his posture. How intimidating he is. He looks like a goddamn samurai."
I turn down the hard fluorescent lights and the room immediately feels more congenial, more human. In the semi-darkness we let our minds quiet in the silence, pay attention to our breath, and let our hopes and regrets drop off. This is zazen, just sitting, being here and now.
I compare this process to a muddied stream. You can't clarify the water by continuing to stir it up. As Kodo Sawaki said, "Zazen is good for nothing." You have to do nothing; then clarity can arise, even here in the belly of concrete and steel bars. Afterward we read the first half or so of Dogen's thirteenth-century "Fukanzazengi," which says, "Nothing is separate, nothing is missing. Everything is present. Why go elsewhere when you can practice the Way here and now?"
Our time is up for today. We shake hands again all around. They thank me, and I thank them. These inmates are hungry for more, more books, more DVDs, more mala beads, more help with their practice. They especially want more access to teachers. I would like to encourage other teachers to join the Prison Dharma Network and to offer their services to inmates who request it. The work is satisfying and needs doing.
The IBS (International Bodhisattva Sangha) in San Diego has in the past come to Tehachapi, but it's a long trek from San Diego. The Buddhist scholar Lewis Lancaster discusses his years of work with IBS in California prisons in an interview in which he mentions collecting about ten thousand books for the prisoners in California, about a thousand of which were given to Tehachapi. Although they have been approved by the censors, these books have yet to reach the shelves or the inmates.
I look forward to going back. In the meantime, the inmates can sit on their own, like monks in a do-it-yourself monastery, knowing that they are not forgotten or alone.
The post Sitting behind bars in Tehachapi appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The post Zen Priest or Zen Practitioner? appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>
The difference in culture and practice between Japan's 900-year-old history of Zen and America's much younger version of it could not be greater. All three major denominations of Chinese Buddhism – Tantric, Zen and Pure Land – and most of their many lineages and divisions were transplanted in Japan by government decree in the 6th century.
From then until Meiji times, Japanese Buddhist priests were mainly responsible for performing funerals and running schools, two very important social tasks (that Buddhist priests in China did not have, by the way.) In theory this means that all Japanese learned to read and write in Buddhist schools and were cremated, given Buddha names, and sent on their way on the Wheel of Life by Buddhist priests.
Through most of history, Japanese priests have not taken on disciples who were not from priest families (something that also did not exist in China.) Although celibacy was demanded of priests on the Asian mainland, Japan was unique in doing almost the opposite: requiring priests to have families and produce children who were qualified by birth to take Buddhist priest vows.
Children of Japanese aristocrats, samurai, craftsmen and farmers were not expected to run temples. That was not part of their particular class responsibilities. In 1868 such feudal class distinctions were formally done away with, again by government decree. But in practice they did not die. And today almost any temple in Japan is run by the son of a priest (or by a man, orphaned at birth, who was given to a temple to be raised.)
Doctrinal differences did not matter in Japan too much, then any more than now, but allegiances of families in every neighborhood of the 49 prefectures have always been important. The names of those family members were registered then as they are now by denomination and neighborhood without anyone having a personal choice in the matter. Generations of temple families (danka) support the same temples as their predecessors. These danka members have records going back at least as far as most church records in Europe. (Interesting word, danka: 檀家 , meaning "sandalwood people".)
There is an unwritten rule in all Japanese Zen temple traditions that no abbot can train his own son. He must send his son to another priest for training. Temple abbots only take as disciples the sons of other abbots of the same lineage. After four years (or at the abbot's discretion) those disciples return to their home temples as next abbot in line.
Make no mistake about it: Zen training in Japan is very tough, and I found that most young men in training with me hated every minute of it. But I also noted that after four years many had mellowed, after reaching considerable depths of spiritual insight. At the same time some of them were not looking forward to the life of domesticity and responsibility ahead of them. They will not expect to find potential disciples in the non-priest world, nor will people in that world have any interest in the meditation that changes lives.
I realize this is not exactly the image that Chinese Zen records give of Zen practice. Master to student transmission there did not depend on who your parents were. It has always mattered in Japan. I've heard American students training in Japan complain that they think the purest Zen teachings get lost in the Japanese Zen shuffle because of things like that. Such teachings are not lost, of course, even in Japan, but hold that thought.
You don't have to be a Zen priest to practice Zen in this country. How lucky are we not to have to be pigeon-holed in such a way that we have no choice! I say Hooray for the Beats and Hippies who went knocking on Zen temple doors in Japan. To the question of whose Zen is the True No Way (Mu, get it?), priest's or layman's, this lay-priest says "No Way!"
I consider myself a lay priest because after I founded the Seattle Zen Center in 1970 and took academic posts at Pepperdine in Malibu (1988) and Bukkyo in Kyoto (1995) I stopped training others. I have ordained four priests in the Cold Mountain (寒山) lineage, including the very able Kurt Spellmeyer (寒感). Two others have died, leaving their students to fend for themselves, and another still practices but never took on students herself. Dozens of people who trained with me or took my classes at the University of Washington have gone on to be priests of Japanese-sanctioned temples or lay priests.
Aside from the cultural and technical differences between being a priest or practitioner, I worry about priests who seem not to know how dangerous being a priest can be. Zazen is not for everyone. Students whose egos are not strong and healthy can go into even deeper depression than they started with. Good priests must be wise beyond erudition and insight. But then, so must ordinary practitioners.
We're past the point of no return of worshiping a guru-priest with a Japanese face. Can you imagine what the benefit will be if all Americans began to sit, individually and with others, in zazen? That's not the goal, but if people could just turn down the volume on themselves and hear transmissions of pain and joy from all sentient beings, what a day of rejoicing that would be!
We have two Suzukis who erected the pillars of American Zen. Suzuki Daisetsu — who came out of the Jodo Shinshu group of Pure Land Buddhism (and for that reason is dismissed by all three forms of Japanese Zen!) — clearly laid the intellectual framework of Zen for all of us. Suzuki Shunryu, a bit later, laid out the most approachable mission to foreigners by Japanese priests, teaching by example the way of Zen.
For fifty years now groups of non-Japanese sit regularly under the direction of an experienced practitioner. But that happens less and less often now under a Japanese priest. It is out of that mix that Zen Americans got started. We've been through fire and rain, but we've gotten cooler and drier, finally. I hope we don't miss the opportunity to let everyone wake up without making such a fuss over the priesthood. In the end we are all sandalwood people, realizing together our self-as-other-ness.
The post Zen Priest or Zen Practitioner? appeared first on Sweeping Zen.]]>


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Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Liam Payne are the members of a very familiar boy band called One Direction. Their albums Up All Night and Take Me Home, have broken multiple records, and some of the singles such as "What Makes You Beautiful" were major hits. The start to their success all began on the 2010 X-Factor singing competition. The international sensation have captured the hearts of millions of teenage girls. Just in the Untied States 19 million singles and 10 million albums were sold and have built a $50 million empire. Their latest album is Midnight Memories.
Midnight Memories
2. Story of My Life
3. Diana
4. Midnight Memories
5. You & I
6. Don't Forget Where You Belong
7. Strong
8. Happily
9. Right Now
10. Little Black Dress
11. Through the Dark
12. Something Great
13. Little White Lies
14. Better Than Words
15. Why Don't We Go There
16. Does He Know?
17. Alive
18. Half a Heart
I used to be a fan of One Direction, but drifted away until this album came out. I am currently listening to it and starting to enjoy the boy band image of One Direction. The devoted fans have been there throughout the bands journey. Before this album even came out, the fans were commenting reviews with five stars saying that it will be perfect. My new favorite songs from the album, that I would recommend, are "Story of My Life" and "You & I". Personally I believe that One Direction will last longer than other boy bands from the past, I say this because they are real best friends, and not acting for the camera. I hope they stay together and continue to create music for their millions of fans to enjoy.


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