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Hmmm, where do I start? With deep sighs, I am sighing right now.
I just finished burying 2 lizards, and my heart is heavy...
Let me back up a bit...bear with me if I might turn out to be confusing here,
but I just need to write this, release something, in some way
Although I must admit, this is not exactly what I had in mind to write for this day,
hopefully I can write something more decent later...
I have been wanting to write something for my brother since yesterday,
since February 26 is his 10th year death anniversary.
The words remained stuck in my heart, 'til I fell asleep.
Visited him again today, heard mass for him,
ate a Chinese dinner with my parents and sister, went home.
I now needed dessert. Got a piece of Ferrero Rocher, but just one wouldn't do.
So I got a piece of Almond Roca this time and ate it while walking.
All this time, I have managed to keep my tears away
but maybe somehow, someway, if tears want to fall, they will find a way?
I walk to that area again as I ate that piece of chocolate-
when what do you know, what do you know??
Oh sighs.
I stepped on a lizard. Again
Yes. Almost exactly the Same area, tail falls off, and the lizard skitters away.
But. I did not slip this time. But, yes, I still screamed, scaring everybody again.
I. Could. Not. Simply. Believe. IT.
One month and 25 days after, I step on a lizard. Again.
Today, of all days. As if I needed more reason to be sadder.
This time around, I had the sense to try to find that lizard.
I had to know if it lived, if it was okay.
I pushed away the nearby cabinet.
And there it was.
Rather, and there they were.
The lizard that I stepped on now
and the petrified remains of the lizard that I stepped on on new year's day...
the other one didn't live after all :(
I know it was that lizard, same area, no tail, who else could it be?
Survival mechanism, no match for my killer foot.
By this time, I am crying, sobbing.
Seriously, the tears just start falling, and my heart so heavy.
And I know it's from the combination of so many things.
The day itself, what I had just done, just things running through me.
What broke my heart, was to see that lizard.
I was wearing rubber shoes this time, last time I was wearing slippers.
And its guts had spilled from its sides.
I couldn't help but keep on saying, "Oh, oh, oh lizard, I am so sorry"
I touched it feebly, and it was literally gaping its mouth.
I don't think I can ever forget that?
Such a small creature, gasping, with its insides out,
its skin on its legs and body scraped.
In pain.
And it was all my fault.
My sister was there with me, trying to help in her own way.
But yes, there's nothing you can really do...I didn't want to stress it even more,
and let death finish what I did.
There's so much I can glean from this, and I want to ramble on, so badly
but I will try to stop myself from rambling too much.
I put the two lizards, along with a note, the dates when I stepped on them
(ok, killed them), and placed them carefully in a chocolate truffle box.
I buried them and still feel so sorry.
In some ways, this is can be so funny, and just freaky & crazy (what's new, this is me?)
What were the odds??? Same place, same thing happening.
And I can't help but roll my eyes at myself as well, just finding it so hard to fathom
how I stepped on not just one but Two lizards in just two months.
I bet that the lizards are all afraid of me now,
saying how I am a lizard killer. A serial lizard killer.
MO: stepping on them while screaming, maybe my screams also killed them off?
I actually took photos of both lizards, I am not sure why though.
Oh dear God, help me, I am acting like one, even documenting them.
I tell you, as I watched that lizard die, I couldn't help but just also
think of St. Jude (for the impossible) and St. Francis of Assisi (for animals).
I know he was dying, but somehow, yes, prayers still comfort me.
I just feel so guilty, with this happening.
I still can't help but cry for those lizards, death by me, for no reason at all,
no purpose served.
Animals, people....death.
I know it's all a part of life...
but it still doesn't change the fact how death can change us
and of how I am responsible for two lizard deaths.
I know they were just small animals, but Still. They were living creatures.
Death can change us in small ways, some in big ways, negatively or positively.
It all boils down to death transforming us one way or another...
I won't expound on it anymore, this is too long,
but one of the ways I can think of comparing it to, is that of a chemical change,
maybe of the spirit, the soul? Not merely a physical change.
And we can never be the same.
In memory of Bob
A true story.
It was in spring of two thousand when I first saw Bob. I'd just started working at Perth Dental hospital, and in fact it was my first day there. I walked up to the front door of this building, but it wasn't yet opened. So I turned around and went to sit in the bus shelter which was just outside the building. As I went to sit down I noted a dark skinned gentleman sitting there with a happy, benign look on his face. He was about five feet eight give or take a little, and he was rather a thickset man who looked like he'd done his fair share of hard work in his sixty years or more.
There was something about this Gentleman that I could not quite put my finger on. He had a certain charisma about him; not the phony kind of charisma that one seen in the car salesman or the philanderer who messes with women's heads, no, Bob had a kind of friendly smile for everyone that he met, and he seemed to draw people into him with his love, and gigantic heart. I knew as soon as I met him that Bob was most definitely for me.
As Bob looked at me and smiled, the whole world seemed to open up. He said "Ow ya going mate" in a loud ebullient manner, then we started to chat. Bob was like myself, a thinker, and straight away we started philosophizing about this, that, and the other, and it was like we had known each other forever. Then all of a sudden I found Bob talking about death, and the difference in the way the Maori people faced death, compared to the rather the silly way us white folk look at the subject with great fear in our hearts. Now this had always interested me, and somehow it just seemed natural to talk to this Maori gentlemen on this subject, and we spoke about it till the doors opened and it was time to work.
I don't think anything happens just by chance, and I definitely have this feeling that Bob and I were meant to meet, and I really think this was a major destiny thing. I have found during the course of my life, that as I am aging, I can feel something pushing me into a certain direction, and I always felt that Bob was part of all this; and I had much to learn from him. Although I have never believed in organized religion, and never followed one I have always felt deeply spiritual, and I have met many people who I learned from, and Bob was most definitely one of them with all his great wisdom and patience. As I came to know Bob, we had many dialogues together, on many subjects. Bob used to love music and could always have time to plonk away on his guitar. He used to come round to my place and we would play songs together, though both he and I were no Eric Clapton's, I would bang around on my guitar and play the harp, while we would both take out turns at singing. We'd have a smoke or a beer or two, and we'd play songs all day long, ahhh, I remember those days well, the memories are so strong.
Bob was one hell of a man, I could tell that he had been a wild one in his youth,
But when I knew him in his sixties he was an icon of wisdom and virtue; he had a kind word for everyone, and gave all his time to anybody who needed him, always.
He used to hear me waffling on like an idiot, trying to make him like me [as I always did] but never once did he tell me how foolish I was, he would just smile knowingly at me. He used to stand there at the window for hours, just drinking in the trees, or the clouds in the sky, and yet he was so aware, I used to try to sneak up on him; it couldn't be done. His awareness was incredible.
Then one day Bob fell ill with terminal cancer, and he knew that he had very little time left on this Earth. He lay there sick for days in intolerable pain, but you never heard one complaint from him, even when he only had days to live, he was still worrying about the welfare of others. When the day finally come for Bob to leave his shell; he was lying there in deep sleep, when all of a sudden he woke up, with a smile on his face. His children asked him 'Dad, do you want some pain killers" Bob laughed, compassion written all over his face, and he said to them 'Not one of you has a clue, have you' and he died with a big smile on his face.
His daughter got in touch with me, and told me about his death, and also told me that his last wish was to have me watch his soul leave his body. I felt very honored about this and went and sat with his body [as Maoris do]. I got the most peaceful feeling come to me [which I presume was his spirit leaving his body] as I watched his silent body, a Mari war stick and a beautiful rose lay across his chest. I still see it, and I feel blessed by it. He was my Maori warrior, and I adored the man.
What's that in your hand?. Let me see.. He said.
It's a picture; that`s Chuck; he is my friend... I said.
You pick your friends kinda young, don't you?... He said.
No, that was a long time ago. We were in college... I said.
I'd like to hear more about your pal Chuck... He said.
Okay... I met Chuck in New Paltz in `74... I said.
Oh, that's the pot smoking college, isn't it... He said.
Don't generalize, everyone's not the same... I said.
You're right. So tell me some more about Chuck... He said.
Okay, so you want the short version, or long one ... I said.
Whatever you like, I have plenty of time ... He said.
Well, this guy Chuck approaches me; he looks perplexed... I said.
So what was his issue. Why that look on his face... He said.
Chuck tells me "No one will stay with me in the room."... I said.
How odd is that? That doesn't make sense... He said.
You and I swing one way, Chuck swings the other. ... I said.
Now I see what the problem was; What did you do?... He said.
What do you think ? That doesn't bother me.... I said.
Hey, you want to hear a funny story? It's a side splitter... I said.
I've got time. I could use a good laugh right about now... He said.
Chuck had a 53 Schwinn bicycle, all chrome, red and white... I said.
You've got to be kidding me. I haven't seen one in years.... He said.
I'd hop on back. We`d go to town and chug down a few together... I said.
That's not funny. Where's the punchline? So what happened?... He said.
Well, one day Chuck failed a test and got super pissed off.... I said.
That's not funny either. You've got to do better than that.... He said.
He yanked on the handlebar so hard, he busted it clean in half... I said.
Wow ! Did they have "Funniest Home Videos" back then?... He said.
That's not all. We had so much fun together. There's more... I said.
Don't keep me in suspense. Lay it on me..... He said
There was this girl; unique with a special attribute.... I said.
What was so special? Three breasts instead of two?... He said.
No joke, her name was Madam Clittora! Enough said... I said.
I can't believe that. You gonna leave me hanging?... He said.
Anyway, shortly after that, I graduated. Chuck was younger.... I said.
So what happened to Chuck? Good friends keep in touch... He said.
We saw him two years later. We visited With his family, was nice... I said.
Ever see them again? You shouldn't desert a friend.... He said.
You're right. But things don't always pan out... I said.
So what does that mean? You both seemed quite close.... He said.
I was married at the time with a lot of responsibilities... I said.
So that's no excuse. You should've kept in touch... He said.
After that, I didn't. Time changes things. Wasn't intentional.... I said.
So is there more to this story? There's got to be more... He said.
Oh, there is. Time moves on. 35 years later... I said.
It's 2010 and out of the blue, I think of my old pal Chuck... I said.
So you didn't forget him after all, but almost... He said.
It's a gamble, Chuck Drzal was in the phonebook; I called... I said.
Good for you. You took a chance, renewed a friendship... He said.
You're right. Just like old times. `74 again. What a feeling... I said.
So what happened next. Tell me quick, can't wait... He said.
We talked off and on, old times and new things; it was good... I said.
So it sounds like things are really working out for you guys... He said.
We saw Chuck, in the summertime; looked good for 52... I said.
Hey that's great news; Is there more to the story?... He said.
A little more... His friend died the day after we saw him... I said.
Oh, bummer. Sorry to hear that. How`s Chuck now?... He said.
Called him in November. His diamond ring was stolen... I said.
Wow ! That's a real downer. Did they catch the bastard?... He said
No !... I said.
There's got to be more than that. Call him since then?... He said..
Yeah... but... I called twice... he never answered the phone... I said.
Well, I hope you find out how he is doing?... He said.
I did. Saw his obit a few days ago. He died November 17th... I said.
He looked at me. A tear rolled down his cheek... He said nothing..
I looked at him. Couldn't speak, all choked up.... I said nothing.
He looked at me. Gave me a hug, turned and walked away.
I yelled to the universe... "That's Chuck, he's my friend!"
In the mirror, I see my face melt away in shame
And, yet I still hunt for game…feeling this shame without a well-thought-out
I hunt you down to catch some inspiration
I'm not looking for fame…I want to see you flourish with anticipation
But, my heart's pumping with aggravation
Why do they put labels on me? Why do I devour their debris?
Perhaps, it makes them feel satisfied… to know that I had a psychotic
Why me? How did I end up in a mental institution? I wish I could flee…
I wish I could…I wish I knew
The true answers…but I'm left to question my own actions…
Not to seek satisfactions…
I want to be set free…
From poverty…
and anxiety…
How can you comfort me…how can you save me…
In this time of tribulation?
Do you sense my distasteful, hideous frustration?
You are a supportive companion, I see…
I still think of you fondly…of course I do, you see…
I think of you being with me possibly
I'm gazing dreamily at your sparkling eyes
Were you aware…(didn't you know…)
I was waiting for you on the other side of the barbed wire fence?
Tear collapse in the palms of my right and left hand,
Drenched in desolation and I'm seeking repentance
Where are you?
Where did you go off to?
Are you grazing in your own outlandish maze?
Fear arise from their deathbeds and lands in my mind (a misery magnet as it
Don't plant regret that catches me off guard
Life can get so hard…life can get so hard…
It's something I'd discard if I had the guts to do it
I'm a distressed, demented and determined bard
But, I'll become a flourishing, upbeat, and earnest poet
One day, I wish to be a light that illuminates the reader's mind
Grace in your own maze – you can't have my land! It's a land only I could
I must stand tall and make a triumphant stand!
I hope you don't mind me being blind temporarily
This test of being blindfolded is difficult and gets me out of my shell
I'm a deck of playing cards with a missing card, however, I'm played with all
over again, waiting for the battle to begin
Pushed in the margins… pushed out of shape, indulging myself in this one
particular sin!
Where's my kith and kin? They are in my heart, deep within!
If you only wore my skin, you'd understand what I've been through...if you
only knew (help me find my other shoe) O.o
If you slipped into my shoes, you'd be sympathetic, instead of criticizing me
out of the blue... (I'd say otherwise, knowing you...) o.O
I can taste a smile creeping in..it's such a surprise – a gift I prize
I will never despise it,
But don't you know that I'm not wise and trapped in my poverty pit?
I'm staring longingly at your crackling, dazzling eyes that singe with fire
Your grin is what I hold dear –
Tt's a gift that I prize…
Giving me natural highs
You fought the battle and the wind whistles in our ears…
Sorry for releasing these tears that have been in captivity inside of me
It has been in captivity in me for so long, longing to be free…
I tell the voices in my head to leave…
In Christ's name, will you leave?
Just let me breathe for a second…I can't believe
I didn't tell you that I care for you so much…
I'd give up my life for you
Vanity is not what I reap this time
I'd sacrifice myself for you
Spending time with you is wicked and sublime –
It's another mountain to climb
It's another arduous adventure – time flips like a rusty dime
I'd do anything for you…I'd give you satisfying vibrations, vibes and chills
You gather merriness in the flower hills
You harvest paradise and sprinkled it upon my wings – this feeling never kills
This feeling never kills my positivity
Do you long to flee like me?
Do you wanna sprout with me like a nourished tree?
You fought my battle and you looked after me when I was alone at home
You shot the predator down (YOU MADE A BULL'S EYE!)…he was tracking me
down like a spy…
Life holds such a significant meaning…despite the gray clouds
That frown upon me so…like an envious enemy, wearing hatred shrouds
Nothin' but gray skies blanket my eyes…
I'm pretending to be included in the crowd
When I'm alone, I don't feel alone with God keeping an eye on me
I pray earnestly and willingly…
The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father.
Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.
She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too.
She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before
And growing darker day by day
But she wouldn't let that stop her.
Suddenly a year had passed... and then two
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand
The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.
She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.
So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself
She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.
That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.
She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared, and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying
Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn
Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!
And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here
So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?
The Mojo Trick
Loch David Crane
June 1979
Sweat-sticky and hot! The P. I. is not
a comfortable place to be;
but sit here and perspire (as though by the fire)
and I'll tell a tale to thee.
I was coming alive in a Philippine dive
after Mojo and San Miguels;
the raging fire in my stomach went higher
but my sea legs rode out the swells.
I began with a pitcher of Mojo that hit
a spot in my appetite;
and glass after glass I drank till the last
and soon was feeling just right.
Then a hostess sat down in a low-cut gown
and asked "I sit with you tonight?"
And I nodded OK in a nonchalant way
so she seated herself on my right.
Now the hostesses here are all drink San Miguel beer
And the same is served all around;
but it don't show much class to charge five times' a glass
when serving's the same size per round.
So you pay a dear price to drink beer over ice
which is how it is served in P.I.;
if you buy a girl beer when she says "I work here,"
then she knows you're a Big Spender guy.
So I looked at this girl and my mind began to whirl
and the Mojo played a trick.
Her face was so funny – a nose like a bunny –
I wouldn't let her flick my Bic!
I won't call her ugly, but with that funny mug she'd
make customers run and hide;
you could send that girl in to a crowded room; then
watch as horrified man stepped outside.
So as I drank my beer with a grin ear to ear
I said "My name is Billy, I think."
She was hardly demure; she said "My name is La Tour.
I love you no lie. Buy me drink."
Well I should have said "no," and let the chick go
but I wasn't alone in the place;
and the thought of all night with this dog was a fright
though her body was nice – but that face!
I thought "just one more brew," cause I'd only had two,
and I said that I'd buy her a drink.
Then she gave me a grin with her toothless brown chin
and my self image started to sink.
But because I was shy (I'm just that sort of guy)
I just couldn't tell her to leave;
so I stared at the band and I drummed with my hand
and I brushed off the lint from my sleeve.
Well the music was fine; but the bar girl's next line
was to say "Are you married, young man?"
And I saw my way out and lied with a pout –
told her I had a wife in Japan.
So she finished her beer, and was soon gone from here,
and I ordered two beers to celebrate;
I was lucky, I thought, not to get caught
between her and a magistrate.
For the Philippine girls wear long dresses and curls
and use perfume and makeup for baits;
for to marry a guy, seaman or G.I.,
means a free trip back to the States.
Then a man from the crew asked me "What's wrong with you?
Why did you let that girl go?"
And I told him her face was scare spots off an ace
but he looked back at me and said "No."
I called for "beer 12" and started to delve
into my pocket for money;
my friend said "I'll buy," and his cash didn't lie,
and "Mind if I sit with your honey?"
I said "you can do just what you want to do,"
and I said that I couldn't look at her;
but he thought she was cute, had a nice bod to boot,
so I nodded to go ahead after.
But beer thirteen made my vision grow keen,
and I saw what a prize I had missed;
"I have drunk too much brew! She was beautiful, too."
as I saw him voluptuously kissed.
I thought "How could this be? She said she loved me! "
My hand shook; my ice cubes went clink.
I heard her say to him "My name is Tuptim.
I love you no lie. By me drink."
So I smiled. I was glad; I was no longer mad
'cause the Mojo had clouded my eyes;
I realized then she was after my friend,
and I hoped he was quick with his lies.
So it's "sailor beware!" In Olongopo there;
where the girls fish for guys in the bars;
and though I often roam, I always come home,
– single! Thanking my lucky stars.
– By the Phantom of the O2 level
(O1 and O2 are Officer's and Civilians' quarters on the USS Kitty Hawk; I taught English aboard several ships at sea, in the Program Afloat for College Education.)
The In-Between
There, in the In-Between,
No trumpets sound
No beings clad in gold celestial fire
Arrive as guides to the heart's desire,
Only silence falls
Throughout the velvet deep profound.
At the In-Between,
No Savior calls
For there is naught but nothingness;
An emptiness entire.
Strangely, I sensed myself suspended
In a nevertime of not-quite-being.
Such was the In-Between, where now I wandered.
As though it had always been,
I felt myself afloat, adrift
Upon some frigid river full of ice
Which had no source and knew no end,
That traveled 'round and 'round and back again upon itself
Rising and falling over distant hills and bearing me with it
- Or rather, what was left of me -
Along in its meaningless, endless circuit.
Nor dark nor light intruded.
Vision compassed only what might be envisioned,
Images forming and fading
Within the little cavern of my skull.
Voices without discernable words.
Murmmerings within the waters.
Something like a sword
Was lodged down my throat.
I gagged upon it, over and over;
Unseen hands would withdraw it, then shove it down again.
The main thought flickering in my head
As I lay in this place
Was of how I seemed to have become some frail remnant
Of whatever I once was.
No longer did I have that sense of flesh
Containing the shape of me,
Nor the feel of muscle, nor the bone beneath.
I felt I had somehow been rendered
Some modern scientific wonder,
A creature flayed alive yet living
In some embryonic form, possessed of such shape as it could claim
By virtue of a remaining mass of nervous tissue;
A minimalist miracle
Preserved in a nutrient bath by the power and will
Of a conclave of white smocked High Priests of medicine.
Strangest of all, perhaps
Was that this perception of my fate
Occasioned in me not horror,
But rather a regretful sadness.
"What will they tell my wife?" I sighed in my mind.
Yet, by slow degrees the feel of the outward world
Stole in upon my little hell of shapelessness.
The throbbing thing I seemed to have become
Refleshed itself somehow,
Though the sword in its throat remained.
Distant voices resolved into speech again,
And as they did I felt myself begin moving again
'Round and 'round as before, still on circuit
But no longer floating on ice.
Now, instead, I seemed lain on some unseen track
Circling through a low-roofed sandstone cavern.
When I passed the band of light
That marked the faroff entrance of this cave,
I would hear the voice of that Boy Who Would Be Our King
Exhorting the Disunited Nations
To join his crusade to punish his chosen scapegoat
For an evil he had helped loose upon the world.
The long silences that followed his harangues
Revealed the skepticism of his audience.
I could sense that a long roll call of the dead
Would soon be scrolling past the world's collective eyes,
Be his call accepted or no;
This was for show, decisions had already been made.
I regained perception of how dangerous things were becoming out there,
Out there where I'd lost my way, to stumble into this place,
How long ago I could no longer recall.
I knew this to be its nature, though
And as well that this was where I belonged, Out There
Where the only source of peace or peace of mind
Was the hope we wove between ourselves
With threads of unstoppable possibilities
The human way spins for itself.
I knew where I belonged, and reached out for it.
I came back to be within
The folds of all I love
To seek the mystic shine of life
Expressed in friends, relations, wife
Awaiting my return.
I began to climb Above
Back to where all hopes begin
To where desires brightly burn
Until their ash shines whiter than
The purer feathers of the dove.
Sipping in solitude inaudibly,
I feel left behind like an orphan child,
Waiting for a stranger's ride,
I was left on the front steps of someone else's house and I'm left to be
An introverted child, brokenhearted, but slightly has a wild side
It's as silent as the grave
I act as if nothing's happening,
But commotion is surrounding me
As if I'm the ship,
Caught in the middle of the wistful, reckless waters
Train me to walk close behind you
I don't want to feel…for you neither do I want to feel
This blasted bittersweet emotions,
Making me weep with many tears of bleakness
Hopelessly, I walk the mercy road alone,
Since no one's willing to risk their lives for me..
What am I gonna do? Play the victim now?
I'd rather travel on my own
I'd rather disown this feeling I feel – it's so real, you see?
Do you hear me calling to you desperately?
I'm losing my direction – I need you, reliable emerald compass you!
Who designed you so articulately?
Who found an emerald stone this beautiful?
Who granted me luck tonight? Can it be?
Can it really be you?
You haven't forgotten me after all…
After all, I haven't had a day without you racing through my mind
Now, you're hidden gold – a fantastic, splendid find!
I thought I was blind…but your shine is making me blind!
I close my eyes in attempt to feel my way through darkness
I have found you…at the end of the tunnel…
I slip unto the sparkly pavement and we huddle
Underneath the bridge and the traffic overhead
You kissed me with hope pressed on your lips, flawless as ever –
I don't feel dead with dread…I don't feel like I'm…actually not losing my head!
When you leave my sight, the daylight dims
When you depart from the light, my heart feels unsettling whims
The river will keep on flowing as long as you postion me next to glistening sunset
The atmosphere is changing and the wind is whistling its sad, sad tunes of regret
I'm a stranger to love, but it seemed like love met my eyes and I fell in love
Love at first sight is on another level of brilliance
Do tell me: are you an angel from up above?
Are you a tranquil, heavenly dove?
I don't want to pretend that you're here when I'm proven wrong…
Are you real or are you a fantasy?
This isn't the end, so let me lend you a helping hand
The world will merrily share with us its happiness
A happiness that was unknown to me…
life's an everlasting, admirable song
It's well-written from the start
Keep spinning with me like a merry-go-round
If you refuse to do so, I'll be left all alone in the abyss
I'll be dancing with my lonely ghost of a mistress…
I'm seeking to be with you
For future progress and also because
My heart has declared its love for you…
Didn't you get the clue?
Haven't you known long ago?
It's a love, shimmering anew!
But, I gottah get a grip…
or we'll never have the time of our lives forever,
You mend me like a wound on a soldier's leg –
I'm unsure if you still love me,
however, you encouraged me to endure…
You're not a curse…if that'll make you feel better, not worse!
Let me repeat that with a little more emphasis – you're not at all a curse
You're a dream come true, a gift, an oath, a bliss-healing cure!
There's a way for us to escape our mighty fearsome fates
We're on thin ice – do you mind if I hand you a pair of skates?
Slipping and stumbling and falling on my bum,
Happily blushing and brushing it aside for a time
I feel like you've chewed me up like distasteful gum
I know we had a good time tonight,
but I want your night to be…well…sublime…
And let the time flip on like an ancient dime
I haven't forgotten you – I'll pick you up from the grime of the past
It's time to be partners in crime!
My passion towards you is so extremely vast
My beautiful friend
Hey. You daughter of beautiful Zion
Brighter than the city of Jerusalem
Yet I find no pleasure i you
O daughter of Jerusalem
Beautiful than the summer stars
Through the tender nights ahead
Illuminated with candles of life and laughter
Precious memories reserved in deep within
Where the greatest treasures dwell
The purest of all darkest places
And the adventure of finding the oracles
Believed to shine deep in the seas
Far in the islands of hope
Where the current and storms roars so loud
And ruthless because they rule
Wow. Have seen her walk like a gazelle
Down the stairs her stare appealing
Long hair tail brushing her shoulders
A sweet glance but bitter experience
O daughter of Jerusalem
Oh. The view of her sleep
Is the utmost morning by the ocean
Her full lips are saccharine blended
Have seen a great treasure hidden beneath ego
Slyness in her priceless exquisite iris
Mmmh. My hands have exploited her heart
All over from the outside
The lovely taste of the beautiful ovals
But she is a deceiving cunning beauty
You daughter of beautiful Zion
Pride. Something have never fathomed
For it resides where only gods know
All in the name of finding the truth
Mostly hurting to the core of my humanity
Wails of lies decorating my trust
Yet I don't learn because I treasure my friendship
Hoping one day someone will
For promises are oaths we not break
I live this life because of people like you
O daughter of Jerusalem
Lies. You jab my heart with a hot piercing needle
The pain so much I can't bear
To you is only a good joke
To me is another worse day
Worse because I trust you with my life!
But what I got in return was the middle finger
Rising up to the heavens
I don't know why
My beloved friends always hurt me most
I don't know why
I never let them go
Help me understand why, my beautiful friend
Know I will treasure our friendship no matter what
From there above all mankind
Far in the heavens of no return
Where beings pay homage to he supreme
The creator of the universe and stars
The potter of our form and thoughts
He stood
Knowing not of his lonely venture
In finding the astray mortality and truth
His heart thirsty of knowledge
He believes in writing he can beat the gods
And uncover their vow of silence and secrecy
O daughter of Jerusalem
Smiling they force their way
Through the labyrinths greened path
Dew and leaves brushing their heads
For mortality is more vital
Oh. The oceans that's are very far
Full of killer animals and breads
Full of dangerous thoughts and bliss
Full of mendacious tongues and eyes
Full of full moon and smiles of hope
The simple symmetric opposite of oneness
The unshakable law of the universe
O daughter of Jerusalem
How could I forget?
A cowboy never forgets his boots
Horses he can always find in the desert
Boots only in certain stores
O how could I possibly forget?
My position is so well painted
In the darkest of all inks that even blind can see
You daughter of beautiful Zion
With your fathoming tales of war
Yet I can find the words for you
Because I tread in the rough terrains
Covered with mud
And venomous snakes
But after every bite I smile
For am following my way
You daughter of beautiful Zion
Why do people lie?
To those be worthy of truth
Why do people hold to lies?
When the ropes are too short
Their eyes so beautiful when they do so
For they hold the key to your next move
I will never like lies
In this life or the next
Truth hurts less than lies
For I don't know who to trust anymore
My beautiful friend
I hate the birth mark under my right eye
I hate my extremely static hair
I hate my big bottom lip
I hate my spotty nose
I hate that I have really *****y times
I hate that people only remember me for my really *****y times
I hate that the real *****es hate me
I hate being cautious so they don't ***** about me
I hate that I cry over everything
I hate that people know I cry over everything
I hate that I hide from them anyway
I hate that they actually don't care
I hate the fact that my brother is leaving home next year
I hate the fact that I cried when he told me that
I hate the fact that I hid my tears from him
I hate the fact that he's all I really have left
I hate my father for making me feel like he doesn't care about me
I hate my mother for making me feel like she picked him over me
I hate that my brother had to look after me when they couldn't be bothered
I hate that, in my eyes, they don't deserve to be called mum and dad
I hate that when I was younger I had to run away from my father
I hate that my mother and brother left me by myself that day
I hate that they left me closer to my father
I hate that they went somewhere I would have felt safer
I hate that I feel like my friends are slowly fading away from me
I hate that I feel like I'm a third wheel
I hate that I feel like my friend's don't trust me
I hate that I feel like I can't trust my friends
I hate the feeling of loneliness
I hate that I read books to escape to a world better than mine
I hate that I write to create a better life than my own
I hate that people want to invade that one heaven I invented
I hate that people ask me why I made Katy Clover Taylor
I hate that I had to make a role model for myself
I hate that she is the person I desperately want to be
I hate that she is the one thing I will never live up to
I hate that I feel like my grades would grasp my families attention
I hate that feeling of disappointment when I get a bad grade
I hate feeling like I have to live up to an expectation to hold their attention
I hate that I am relied on because of my grades
I hate that I am an older mind trapped in a younger body
I hate that I am limited in what I can do because of my age
I hate not being trusted upon
I hate people treating me as a kid
I hate not telling people how I feel
I hate hiding behind an invisible barrier
I hate not being able to share how I feel with people
I hate being scared that they won't care.
I hate people judging me
I hate judging people
I hate that feeling of giving up
I hate the feeling of losing when I didn't give up
I hate the choices I have made
I hate that nobody thinks I can live up to my dream
I hate people thinking they are so much better than me
I hate the fact that they are right
I hate that I will never make a good girlfriend
I hate the fact I know nobody would fall for me
I hate knowing that no one would help me pick up my life
I hate that it has fallen apart
I hate hurting the people I love
I hate them not loving me anymore
I hate knowing that what I would do would hurt people
I hate the fact I do it anyway
I hate knowing that I do all of this
I hate knowing I hate all of this
I hate trying to change it
I hate that I am not able to change it
I hate that I try not to give up hope
I hate knowing all hope is lost
I hate that I still try and cling to it anyway
I hate knowing I failed at that too
But most of all
I hate not being able to express this until now
I hate that this still won't change a thing
I hate thinking that it still might
I hate knowing that no one cares


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Rendezvous at Skipton
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Travel Blogs from Skipton
Houston, we have touchdown.
... br> We grabbed up a few ciders and started making our way towards our new hostel near the city center. There was a huge gathering of protestors and go green people amongst all sorts of other activists. I attempted to join a march to remove a gentleman called Torrey from office, but Nicolette refused. I thought it would be an interesting way to get to our destination. With our recent bomb experience, I suppose joining a protest wasn't the best of plans. LOL Nicolette found ...
I'm. So. Tired.
I'm struggling with sleep. I always do when I travel to England but normally I can sleep it off by ruining a day or two. But this time I can't really do that. Being constantly on the move and having to carry a backpack while exhausted is not as easy. Plus Dan has already made me run with my backpack on. What an awful moment! Not to mention my shoelace came undone. So obviously I was going to fall to my death. (Only ...
The Tour kicks off....somewhere.....
Apparently Stage 1 of the Tour kicks off today in York and the riders will see a giant swath of West and North Yorkshire. I have to admit the main focus for us what the preparation for the next day and the all important climb up Holme Moss in Stage 2. I spent the morning recovering from the rigors of the race the previous evening and relaxing. The big event during the day was lunch ...
Stonehenge and Stourhead
... estate is 2600 acres, and although they lost about 400 trees during December storms, the landscaping was still gorgeous.
The owner/designer, Henry Hoare II, had a love for ancient Greek architecture and mythology, so there were some temples and a Pantheon (another work behind scaffolding at the moment :( ) around the lake. (Film trivia: in the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, Keira Knightley refuses Mr. Darcy inside the Temple of Apollo, then ...
A Woolly Good Time!
... drive back to Derby was lovely as the countryside was so beautiful. On arrival to Derby, we went for tea at Terry's Dad's house and visited with some of Terry's relatives. Lovely to see them again and wonderful to feel like part of the family!
Then how else to end a perfect English weekend - by enjoying fish and chips at Georges!! Spot on!!
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The H. Ric Luhrs Performing Arts Center, Shippensburg
Carlisle comedy events
Last Comic Standing
Wednesday, Oct 1 8:00p
Terry Fator
Saturday, Aug 23 8:00p
The H. Ric Luhrs Performing Arts Center, Shippensburg
Jeff Dunham
Friday, Sep 12 7:30p
York Fair Expo Center, YorkHis television specials and series have been the highest rated programming in Comedy Central history, his DVD sales have reached seven million units, his videos have received a half a billion views...
Kevin James
Thursday, Oct 9 8:00p
Hershey Theatre, Hershey
Ron White
Friday, Nov 21 7:00p
Hershey Theatre, Hershey
Fall Family Fun Day
Saturday, Oct 11 12:00p
Ned Smith Center for Nature and Art, MillersburgThis annual event is designed to increase awareness of the natural world with many activities for children and families...
Improv Comedy Night
Friday, Sep 5 7:30p
Ned Smith Center for Nature and Art, MillersburgJoin improv comedy troupes TMI Improv and The Oxymorons for a night of laughs and fun...
Lewis Black
Friday, Nov 21 7:30p
Paula Poundstone
Friday, Jan 9 7:30p
Mike Birbiglia
Thursday, Sep 11 7:30p
Colin Mochrie & Brad Sherwood: Two Man Group
Thursday, Nov 6 7:30p
The Pullo Center, YorkThe popular stars of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" present an evening of extraordinary improv comedy. Colin and Brad will take contributions from the audience to create hilarious and original scenes…...
Believe Me - The Movie
Sunday, Oct 5 7:00p
The Junction Center, ManheimTurkey Hill Dairy's All Natural Ice Cream Presents: MOVIE: Believe Me on Sun. Oct. 5th at The Junction Center Tent in Manheim. 717-459-3701 or http://www.thejunctioncenter...
Ron White
Saturday, Nov 22 7:00p
Maryland Theatre, Hagerstown
Bill Cosby
Sunday, Sep 7 3:00p
American Music Theatre, Lancaster
Terry Fator
Sunday, Aug 24 7:00p
American Music Theatre, Lancaster
Carlisle comedy Related Topics
Hot Tickets More »
Wed 10/1 8:00p
Sat 8/23 8:00p
Thu 10/9 8:00p
Fri 9/12 7:30p
Fri 11/21 7:00p
Fri 11/21 7:30p


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Star Wars
Art and Crafts
Classic Music Box Record Player
Star Wars Vader's Little Princess Hardcover Book
Crosley Tech Record Player
Elvis Presley Limited Edition Fine Art Print
Grateful Dead American Beauty Vinyl Album
Darth Vader and Son Book
Mood Mustaches
Peace, Love, Happiness Tie Dye Duffle Bag
Twilight Spiral Tie Dye Sheets
Year to Remember 5-Piece Coin Set Years 1965 to 2011
My Little Pony Retro Candy Filled Lunch Pail
Personalized Roy Lichtenstein Art from Your Photo
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Red Green and White Christmas T-Shirt
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Personalized Framed ''Your Year'' National Geographic Magazine
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1970's Retro Candy Gift Box
Rainbow Crazy Laces
KISS Gene Simmons Standee
Chewbacca Bathrobe


text:
South Wales Sights
Neath Abbey
Neath Abbey Review
Built in the 12th century, this abbey was, in its day, one of the largest and most important in the British Isles. Though just a shell, the main church gives an impressive sense of scale, with its tall buttresses and soaring, glassless windows. Here and there small sections of the original building have survived unscathed, including an undercroft with a vaulted stone ceiling. Neath Abbey is 9 miles northeast of Swansea.
- Address: Monastery Rd., Neath Abbey, SA1 7DH
- Cost: Free
- Hours: Daily 10–4; last admission 30 min before closing
- Website: www.cadw.wales.gov.uk
- Location: Swansea
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Laser Scientific offers field repair services, repair parts, and consumables for lasers. New and used lasers, and service contracts. NEW Candela GentleLASE repair parts, and parts for other Candela and Cynosure equipment.
We provide high quality parts and maintenance service for aesthetic laser equipment. We sell accessories, consumables & replacement parts, as well as a variety of hair removal & skin rejuvenating cosmetic laser machines.
DOTmed HealthCare
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Media Kit: PDF
Editorial Calendar 2014 - PDF
Underscores need for simpler alerts
First study to look at societal impact
Imaging technology needs to get up to speed first
May be the foundation for thymus transplant treatment


text:
Automatic Stabilizers and Monetary Rules in a Ricardian Economy
AbstractThis paper analyses the effect of the fiscal structure upon the trade-off between inflation and output stabilization in presence of technological shocks in a DGE model with nominal inertia. The model is calibrated to reproduce the main features of European economies and it integrates a rich menu of fiscal variables as well as a target on the debt to output ratio. The main finding is that taxes linked to economic activity worsen the output-inflation variability trade-off as compared with an economy with lump-sum taxes, except when nominal and real rigidities are very large. Aside from the well known supply side channels that explain this result, we find that fiscal rules designed to ensure debt consolidation induce cyclical movements in aggregate demand that also contribute to increase the volatility of output in presence of distortionary taxes.
Download InfoIf you experience problems downloading a file, check if you have the proper application to view it first. In case of further problems read the IDEAS help page. Note that these files are not on the IDEAS site. Please be patient as the files may be large.
Bibliographic InfoPaper provided by Royal Economic Society in its series Royal Economic Society Annual Conference 2003 with number 66.
Date of creation: 04 Jun 2003
Date of revision:
Handle: RePEc:ecj:ac2003:66
Contact details of provider:
Postal: Office of the Secretary-General, School of Economics and Finance, University of St. Andrews, St. Andrews, Fife, KY16 9AL, UK
Phone: +44 1334 462479
Web page: http://www.res.org.uk/society/annualconf.asp
More information through EDIRC
Related researchKeywords: fiscal rules; macroeconomic stability; distortionary taxes;
Find related papers by JEL classification:
- E32 - Macroeconomics and Monetary Economics - - Prices, Business Fluctuations, and Cycles - - - Business Fluctuations; Cycles
- E52 - Macroeconomics and Monetary Economics - - Monetary Policy, Central Banking, and the Supply of Money and Credit - - - Monetary Policy
- E63 - Macroeconomics and Monetary Economics - - Macroeconomic Policy, Macroeconomic Aspects of Public Finance, and General Outlook - - - Comparative or Joint Analysis of Fiscal and Monetary Policy; Stabilization; Treasury Policy
This paper has been announced in the following NEP Reports:
- NEP-ALL-2003-06-16 (All new papers)
- NEP-MON-2003-06-16 (Monetary Economics)
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Cited by:
- Canova, Fabio & Pappa, Evi, 2006.
"The elusive costs and the immaterial gains of fiscal constraints,"
Journal of Public Economics,
Elsevier, vol. 90(8-9), pages 1391-1414, September.
- Canova, Fabio & Pappa, Evi, 2005. "The Elusive Costs and the Immaterial Gains of Fiscal Constraints," CEPR Discussion Papers 5406, C.E.P.R. Discussion Papers.
- Fabio Canova & Evi Pappa, 2004. "The elusive costs and the immaterial gains of fiscal constraints," LSE Research Online Documents on Economics 518, London School of Economics and Political Science, LSE Library.
- Fabio Canova & Evi Pappa, 2005. "The elusive costs and the immaterial gains of fiscal contraints," Economics Working Papers 928, Department of Economics and Business, Universitat Pompeu Fabra.
- Fabio Canova & Evi Pappa, 2005. "The elusive costs and the immaterial gains of fiscal constraints," Working Papers 295, IGIER (Innocenzo Gasparini Institute for Economic Research), Bocconi University.
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When five- year- old Vanessa arrived at the Petite Riviere Orphanage in July 2013, she clearly had been mistreated by those who had taken care of her after the death of her parents. She was malnourished, did not mix well with the other orphans, and always seemed fearful. However, by the time she enrolled as a kindergarten student in October 2013 at Ecole Notre Dame du Perpetual Secours, she had started to adjust and to benefit physically and emotionally from being nurtured and nourished by those in charge of the orphanage.
Today, Vanessa is a healthy, active five- year-old who loves school and has many friends among both her classmates and the other orphans. In particular, she enjoys singing and dancing.
Vanessa and all the pre-school children were fortunate to benefit from implementation of the first phase of the head-start project aimed at improving the quality of early childhood education at Ecole Notre Dame du Perpetuel Secours. Donations received as of May 2014, representing 18% of the project cost, made possible the launch of the program to include targeted training for the six early childhood teachers and aide teachers as well as a variety of educational materials aimed at supporting the cognitive development, creative expression, language and literacy. But much remains to be done to ensure full implementation of the project.
The teacher-student ratio is still a very high 1: 37 -- three times the recommended ratio for pre-school classes. More and better trained teachers are key to the success of the project. Moreover, a greater selection of activities must be offered to support learning in the various developmental areas: cognitive, creative, language, physical, social and emotional. We must establish better links between teachers and parents. There is also a great need for parental education related to practices and customs which impact negatively on the survival, protection and participation of the children at home and at school. Further, problems related to the quality of the school's infrastructure and facilities (e.g. no designated place for the school canteen, no running water, no electricity) need to be addressed.
School principal sister Christiane, children, parents and teachers as well as PHC are extremely grateful to each and everyone of you who have through Global Giving made the launch of this early childhood education project possible.
We urgently need your continued support to fully implement the project and give the children a chance for productive lives. We also count on your advocacy of PHC among your friends and family.
The beginning of this school year was unlike any other for the 230 pre-K and K children at Our Lady of Perpetual Help school in Petite-Riviere de l'Artibonite in Haiti. For the first time in the history of the school resources, though quite limited, were made available to provide tailored training to the six K and pre-K teachers prior to the opening of the 2013-2014 school year. In addition, educational games, arts and crafts materials and age appropriate books, gave a richer and more varied educational experience. This new learning environment also raised expectations of children, teachers, parents and the community and energized all concerned.
Sister Christiane, Principal of the school, expressed her appreciation as follows:
"This year, thanks to GlobalGiving financing, we are able to provide books for the children and support the teachers with new supplies and educational materials. This has created a learning environment highly appreciated by teachers, parents and the larger community. We are most grateful to our donors who made possible the progress achieved so far. Much remains to be done to reach and sustain high quality early childhood education for these vulnerable Haitian children."
Please help us reach our goal of providing each K and pre-K child a challenging and inspiring learning experience. If you can please sign up for a recurring monthly gift.
On October 7, 2013, the teachers and 500 students in grades 1-6 at Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Petite-Riviere de l' Artibonite returned to the classroom. As reported previously, the project which made key textbooks in reading, grammar and mathematics available to all the children had a huge impact last year on the learning environment.
One of the beneficiairies of the Project is Emmanuella who now has a chance to realize her educational potential. She is a former "restavec" or child-slave who was abused physically and had only one year of formal education prior to starting at the school in 2011. She was then 10 years old and put in second grade. She is smart and talented, works hard and has adjusted extremely well at the school. Now whe is a thirteen-year-old 4th grader at the school.
We thank you for giving a chance to many disadvantaged children like Emmanuella to pursue their education and make a difference for their families, communities and their native Haiti. The gains realized would have been impossible without your personal commitment and financial support.We are deeply grateful to each and every one of you for your kindness and generosity. We are pleased to let you know that the sustainability of the program is expected to be ensured through recycling and affordable rental fees for the books as well as occasional external support.
In view of the above, we are deactivating this project and hereby solicit your support for our high priority new Global Giving Project—http://www.globalgiving.org/projects/head/-start-for-230-pre-school-children-in-haiti. The Head Start project for 230 pre-school children who live in a harsh environment of pervasive poverty aims at ensuring that they are better prepared to fully benefit from a primary school curriculum. The project supports teachers' training, hiring of teachers' aides and pedagogical materials to further the children's physical, cognitive and social development.Please help these children get a high quality early childhood education. We thank you for your continued partnership.


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Paul continues his negative campaign in New Hampshire while Romney stays positive online.
Ron Paul's campaign is going negative online in the hopes of siphoning New Hampshire Republican primary votes away from Rick Santorum. Paul is extending the "Serial Hypocrite" message he's been using against Newt Gingrich. Now, he's slapping the same label on Santorum - who came in a close second in the Iowa Caucuses last week. Paul is running video ads featuring the TV attack ad on UnionLeader.com, an important paper of record in the early primary state, which has endorsed Gingrich.
As Paul relies on negative messaging in New Hampshire, Mitt Romney is staying positive online. Ads from the GOP primary frontrunner dot the UnionLeader.com homepage, and are seen elsewhere on the site as well as on NashuaTelegraph.com, another New Hampshire newspaper site.
A banner at the top of the Union Leader homepage reminds voters that Senator Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire and Arizona Senator John McCain - a Romney rival in the 2008 GOP primary race - support Romney this time around. McCain won the primary in 2008.
Another homepage ad simply states, "Vote for Mitt," and encourages voters to click to "Learn More." The ads link to a New Hampshire primary-specific page on the Romney campaign site including campaign event information and a link to find polling places.
Those Union Leader ads are reminiscent of President Barack Obama's 2008 primary campaign ads online. Throughout the Democratic primary, the Obama camp ran state-specific ads on local newspaper sites that gave voters information on how and where to vote. In states such as Ohio and Texas, where early primary voting is allowed, the ads prodded people to vote before primary day, and let them click through to find their closest early voting locations.
Romney appears to be sticking to positive and practical messaging in his official online campaign ads. Paul, however, is expanding on negative messaging his campaign launched in Iowa. The Paul video ad focuses on Santorum, calling him "another serial hypocrite who can't be trusted," and noting the former Pennsylvania Senator "sided with big money union bosses" and voted to raise the debt ceiling.
Pro-Romney Super PAC Restore Our Future has been running TV ads attacking Gingrich, though the group does not appear to have done any advertising online.
Paul's own opponents are joining in on the New Hampshire fight, too. National Organization for Marriage opposes marriage equality laws, and argues Paul is the only "major" presidential candidate who has not "pledged to preserve traditional marriage." The group is running ads on UnionLeader.com suggesting, "Ron Paul would do nothing if the Supreme Court imposed gay marriage."
According to Federal Election Commission filings, the organization has spent $40,000 on online ads opposing Ron Paul since late December. The ad buy - which went through Republican digital agency Connell Donatelli - appears to be dedicated to promoting WrongOnMarriage.com, a microsite featuring a TV spot claiming that "Paul has said 'sure' to gay marriage" and "even called for abolishing marriage all together."
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Kate Kaye was Managing Editor at ClickZ News until October 2012. As a daily reporter and editor for the original news source, she covered beats including digital political campaigns and government regulation of the online ad industry. Kate is the author of Campaign '08: A Turning Point for Digital Media, the only book focused on the paid digital media efforts of the 2008 presidential campaigns. Kate created ClickZ's Politics & Advocacy section, and is the primary contributor to the one-of-a-kind section. She began reporting on the interactive ad industry in 1999 and has spoken at several events and in interviews for television, radio, print, and digital media outlets. You can follow Kate on Twitter at @LowbrowKate.
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The Richland County Sheriff's Department is requesting the community's assistance in identifying a suspect wanted for armed robbery.
The report said around 6:30 p.m. on Sunday, an unknown suspect walked into the Dollar General store located on Decker Blvd. and stole money from the cash register.
Click here to read full story
1111 Bull St.
Columbia, SC 29201
(803) 799-1010
FCC Public File
EEO Report
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DETROIT (AP) - Brett Favre stood on the sidelines for the start of a game for the first time since 1992, rubbing his salt-and-pepper beard in frustration because his body couldn't take another pounding.
No. 1 Duke 84,
NEW YORK (AP) - Cam Newton won the Heisman Trophy - as if there was any doubt.
MANHATTAN - Two Kansas State seniors have earned the highest honor one can achieve on the football field as running back Daniel Thomas and kick returner William Powell have been named 2010 All-Americans by Rivals.com.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - So if a guy has an appendectomy on Wednesday, can he play football on Sunday? What about the next Sunday? Might he be out the rest of the year?
No. 3 Pittsburgh 70,
DURHAM, N.C. (AP) - Top-ranked Duke says freshman point guard Kyrie Irving is out indefinitely with a toe injury.
EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. (AP) - Brett Favre's sprained throwing shoulder is making it difficult for him to put on a shirt or pull on his socks, so the 41-year-old is going to wait a few days before he decides about playing against the New York Giants on Sunday.
GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) - Florida coach Urban Meyer is leaving one of the premier jobs in college football for the second time to spend more time with his family.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - Quarterback Matt Cassel, a key reason the Kansas City Chiefs have emerged as contenders and lead the AFC West late in the season, underwent an appendectomy on Wednesday.
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. (AP) - Arthur Moats would prefer seeing Brett Favre start his 298th consecutive game this weekend.
NEW YORK (AP) - Bill Self sounded like a coach whose team had just won a game with a less-than-perfect outing.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - One of the greatest efforts of his career left Champ Bailey with only an empty feeling.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - Sometimes the first-place Kansas City Chiefs almost seem in denial.
ENGLEWOOD, Colo. (AP) - It wasn't long ago that all Dwayne Bowe seemed to be catching was flak.
DENVER - Matt McBride hit his first career grand slam and Jorge De La Rosa pitched eight crisp innings, helping the Colorado Rockies cool off the Kansas City Royals with a 5-2 win on Wednesday night.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Eric Fisher refuses to use offseason shoulder surgery as an excuse.
As good as any division a year ago, the AFC West is about to get tested.
SEATTLE - Forget about the NFC Worst. Last year proved the NFC West is the deepest division in the NFL.
LAWRENCE - Ben Heeney may know better than anybody the challenge that faces Kansas after losing its top two running backs to season-ending injuries just one day apart.
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - Rick Porcello pitched a three-hitter for his AL-leading third shutout, Victor Martinez hit a grand slam and drove in five runs, and the Detroit Tigers beat the Tampa Bay Rays 6-0 Wednesday night.
The Kansas City Royals beat the Colorado Rockies 7-4 on Tuesday night.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Knile Davis and Cyrus Gray got a chance to showcase themselves in the Chiefs' preseason game in Carolina.
INDIANAPOLIS - The NCAA's best argument against the Ed O'Bannon ruling may be the financial limits imposed by U.S. District Judge Claudia Wilken - the same ones the NCAA lauded in her decision.
LUBBOCK, Texas - Coach Kliff Kingsbury and his quarterback are in similar territory entering their second seasons at Texas Tech.
FORT WORTH, Texas - TCU coach Gary Patterson had been thinking about spreading out his offense since the Horned Frogs got in the Big 12 two years ago.
LAWRENCE - The top two running backs on the Kansas depth chart will each miss their senior season after Brandon Bourbon tore his ACL and Taylor Cox tore his Achilles' tendon in separate incidents.
NEW YORK - "The Big Bang Theory" is one of the few television shows that can approach the NFL in viewership. CBS executives still didn't hesitate to temporarily move TV's top-rated comedy to a different night to make room for football.
AUSTIN, Texas - New Texas coach Charlie Strong wasted no time delivering fans a bit of the honesty he demands from his players.
Baylor coach Art Briles quickly dismisses the idea of his Bears defending their Big 12 championship.


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|Key Info
This 160 square meters luxury apartment has everything you need for a perfect holiday!
- large open plan living room, kitchen and dining area with cocktail bar
- 2 large bedrooms
- air conditioning in every room
- swimming pool right outside
- fully equipped kitchen: 4 cooking units, dishwasher, microwave + oven, coffeemaker, water boiler, cooking utensils
- washing machine and tumble dryer
- TV with English channels + several European channels + DVD player
- high speed wi-fi internet access, even at the pool!
There is an underground private 1-car lock-up garage with lift access to the apartment.
|Sleeps up to 4, 2 bedrooms
|Nearest beach
|Mellieha Bay 500 m
|Will consider
|Corporate bookings, Long term lets (over 1 month), Short breaks (1-4 days)
|Car advised, Wheelchair users
|Nearest Amenities
|300 m
|Nearest travel links
|Nearest airport: Luqa 22 km
|Family friendly
|Great for children of all ages, Suitable for people with restricted mobility
|No pets allowed, No smoking at this property
|Internet access, DVD player, Staffed property, Sea view
|Central heating, Air conditioning, TV, CD player, Safe, Satellite TV, Wi-Fi available
|Kettle, Toaster, Iron, Hair dryer
|Clothes dryer, Dishwasher, Cooker, Microwave, Fridge, Freezer, Washing machine
|2 bedrooms, 1 bathrooms of which 1 Family bathrooms
|Double beds (2), Cots (1), Dining seats for 6, Lounge seats for 5
|Linen provided, Towels provided, High chair
|Balcony or terrace, Shared garden, BBQ
|Wheelchair users, Secure parking, Lift access
|Further details indoors
We equipped the apartment with everything we could think of. If there's anything you might need, don't hesitate to ask!
Malta is a small island, but very rich in culture. You can visit some of the oldest temples in the world (3500 BC) or just enjoy the natural beauty of the cliffs and seaviews.
The weather in Malta is good all year round, with temperatures never dropping below 15 degrees celcius, but the biggest advantage in July and August is that you can be sure not a single drop of rain will fall!
The Tas-Sellum complex is a brand new residential development in a very quiet area.The road ends here, so you have no noise at all from passing traffic. It's a very kid friendly environment. The flowers and trees in Tas-Sellum are very well kept by an on-site gardener. The swimming pools are cleaned daily. There is 24/7 on-site security.
Mellieha has a lot of restaurants and watersport activities (from scubadiving to jetskiing) near the beach, only 500 meters away. In the commercial centre of Mellieha you can also find some of the best restaurants in Malta (Giuseppe's, The Arches, Dvine lounge), if you prefer finer dining.
There are a few bars in Mellieha village, with both Maltese and English pubs offering entertainment like billiards and karaoke. If you want to go clubbing, St. Julians and Paceville are only a 20-minute drive away. If you don't have a designated driver, it's easily accessible by bus, even at night. Taxi's are also very affordable.


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While the young actor of the moment is currently Oscar nominee Quvenzhané Wallis, a couple of other talents in the past few years have earned attention while not being legally able to drink. Shailene Woodley impressed with her breakout turn in "The Descendants" in 2011, while just the year before, Hailee Steinfeld nabbed an Oscar nod for her performance in "True Grit." It's no surprise Hollywood wants to tap that talent, and they're both being sought for the lead in a new project.
Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber, the screenwriting duo behind "(500) Days of Summer" and Sundance darling "The Spectacular Now" (featuring Woodley) penned the script for the adaptation of John Green's "The Fault in Our Stars." Josh Boone -- the man behind the soon-to-be-released "Stuck In Love," formerly known as "Writers" -- is set to direct, and producers have apparently narrowed down their lead to either Woodley or Steinfeld.
Critically acclaimed screenwriters, check. Rising star as your lead, check. As for the source material? Well, it was one of the most critically acclaimed novels from last year and it follows "a teenage girl stricken with terminal cancer who falls for a boy in her support group. The two form a bond as they deal with their illnesses." It seems the studio is moving fast on the project, with plans to shoot this summer. Woodley is likely the busiest of the pair with both "The Amazing Spider-Man 2" and "Divergent" on her slate, so it could be down to scheduling. Meanwhile, Steinfeld's calendar seems a bit more flexible. [THR]
Wesley | February 22, 2013 7:32 AM
Woodley was great in The Descendents, but Steinfeld gave one of the great young actor performances of all time, in my opinion, in True Grit. Even as great as Bridges, Damon, and Brolin were, she carried that movie. Plus in terms of age with regards to the character, Steinfeld is spot on, while Woodley could get away with playing an eighteen year old still, I think her playing a sixteen year old might be pushing it a little.
cindy | February 21, 2013 8:11 AM
Shailene & Hailee have both proven their acting abilities in films. But personal choice I would go with Woodley. :
Connor | February 21, 2013 7:05 AM
Hailee seems to me the best choice. More oscar material for her the better.
fitzcarraldont | February 20, 2013 2:29 PM
â was meant to equal an equals signs with a line through it dadgummit
fitzcarraldont | February 20, 2013 2:20 PM
tap that talent â tap into that talent
maybe this cain thought he could slip a nabokovian pun by us -
guess again punk!


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Erik Hassle Songs
Erik Hassle - Pathetic
Booth newcomer Erik Hassle's mother told him not to let anyone play him for a fool, and he always followed her advice… until recently. On a newly-released single off his latest EP, the Swedish singer-songwriter...Read More
Erik Hassle ft. Vince Staples - Pathetic (Remix)
Back in February, Swedish singer/songwriter Erik Hassle made his grand entrance into The DJBooth with Pathetic, a starry-eyed electro-funk scorcher won high praise from our readership. Today, the track makes its return to our...Read More
Erik Hassle ft. Tinashe - Innocence Lost
Erik Hassle's last feature, late February's Ready for You, found the RCA Records crooner so devastated by a recent breakup that he could barely eat or sleep. Well, I have good news and bad news: good news is, on...Read More
Erik Hassle - Ready For You
Hey, Erik Hassle! After your impressive Booth debut, Pathetic, I was quickly Ready for You to return to our pages; we just had no idea it would be so soon. After a little more than week, Hassle is once again knocking down our...Read More


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Commuters' frustration vented on Twitter
South West Trains passengers have been taking to Twitter this morning, to express their frustration at delays caused by emergency engineering works.
Gave up on South West Trains and got a bus to Kingston. I think I might save some (a lot) of money and give up on trains altogether.
Could have driven to Edinburgh in the time it's taken to get to London today. Incompetent south west trains
Has taken me 47 minutes to do a 9 minute journey. Happy Valentines Day South West Trains


text: Instant Cameras 6 Polaroid Style Cameras For Your Instant Photography Desires by Kristy Ellington 6/29/11 5 Reactions 14 Shares Print 0 5 6 3 0 Though we're able to snap quality pics with our mobile phones and upload them straight to a number of social networks, there's just something about capturing a moment and watching it develop before our eyes. Though you can still get your hands on original Polaroid film if you're lucky (and have deep pockets), there are some viable alternatives on the market these days. Check out six examples here, and have a happy Camera Day! Fujifilm Instax Wide Format ($80) What's Your Reaction? 0 0 0 0 0 0 Capture the entire moment, not just a portion of it with the Instax Wide Format camera that prints images instantly. The film's price is easy to swallow too: just $40 for a four pack. 1 / 6 Fujifilm Instax Mini ($158) What's Your Reaction? 0 0 0 0 0 0 A smaller, more compact version of the Instax, the Instax Mini even prints out tiny credit card-sized photos on the go with film running at about $15 a pack. 2 / 6 Polaroid 300 ($90) What's Your Reaction? 0 0 0 0 0 0 The next generation Polaroid camera, the Polaroid 300 is bright, portable, and the good news is, film is still widely available but a tad more expensive at around $13 per pack. 3 / 6 Diana + Instant Back ($98) What's Your Reaction? 0 0 0 0 0 0 If you're a Lomography fanatic, good news is you don't have to give up your plastic camera to take instant shots. The Diana+ Instant Back turns your Lomo into a Polaroid-style instant camera that takes the Fujifilm Instax Mini film. 4 / 6 Polaroid Instant Mobile Printer ($169) What's Your Reaction? 0 0 0 0 0 0 As an alternative to the traditional camera, the Instant Mobile Printer picks up where the PoGo left off, and allows you to print camera-phone pics on the fly. 6 / 6 Fujifilm Instax Mini 50s ($129) What's Your Reaction? 0 0 0 0 0 0 Another Instax to consider, this model comes with some nice features, including a macro mode, intelligent flash, and brightness control, as well as a tripod mount for posed pics. Film will set you back $20 a pack, but it does come with 20 exposures, which is about 10 more than you usually find with other instant film cameras listed here. 6 / 6 0 5 6 3 0 Read More Camera DayCamerasPolaroidShopping Get a Personalized Living Newsletter! Help us customize your newsletter by selecting your interests (optional): Home DIY Vegetarian Tech Link Love Microsensors are being developed for planes to detect trouble — Newser This is why your iMessage is sending you spam — ReadWrite 25 geektastic school supplies for back to school — The Mary Sue Chinese censorship may be more selective than you thought — BuzzFeed Tech 10 of the best organizational apps for parents — Cool Mom Tech 6 geniuses who saw their inventions turn evil — Cracked The Evermind app lets you know when Grandma is making a cup of coffee — ChipChick Someone from the Harry Potter franchise has signed on for the spinoff — POPSUGAR Entertainment


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Bicycle Film Festival Cities Announced
- Words: Fred Miketa
No, Bicycle Film Festival (BFF) isn't an event where a bunch of dudes with Chrome bags and rolled up jeans get wasted and talk about their obscure, $5,000 track bikes. It's a cultural celebration of the vehicle in all its forms, whether it's bike jousting, BMX, track, Critical Mass, or bike polo.
The festival, which travels to several different cities worldwide over the course of the year, showcases films by bike enthusiasts anywhere, be they acclaimed directors or amateurs. This year's lineup already includes work from directors Peter Sutherland (best known for Stoked: The Rise and Fall of Gator), Zack Weinstein (Caravan Prague: an anarchist trek through Europe), and Christopher Ryan (Criminal Mass: a look into the NYC Critical Mass ride including jail stays, comradery, and court appearances), amongst many others to be announced. Screenings are generally followed by after-parties, featuring cutting-edge bands and performers. If last year's edition–which included appearances from Blonde Redhead, Michel Gondry, Swoon, Lucas Brunelle, and Nick Golebiewski–is any indication, the 2007 BFF should be well worth catching.
For more info and specific city details go to the festival's site.
Festival Cities
New York (Dates Announced: May 16-20)
Los Angeles
San Francisco
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Up To £30 Free Matched Bet
Goalkeeper Steve Phillips is keen to open up talks with Crewe over a new contract.
The 33-year-old's current deal expires next summer and he hopes that the Alex will discuss terms with him over the coming months.
He told the Crewe Chronicle: "It might be that I sit down with Dario (Gradi, Crewe manager) or the chairman around Christmas time and see what their plans are.
"I wouldn't envisage Crewe speaking to me before then - they left a few of the boys until the summer last season.
"When January comes around people who are out of contract can talk to other clubs, but at the moment I am just happy to play."


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Assistant WSU music professor wins national composition award
Jul 2, 2013 2:31 PM | Print
Aleksander Sternfeld-Dunn, assistant professor of composition, music theory and technology at Wichita State University, has won the 2013 American Prize in composition for his saxophone concerto "Fireworks."
Victor Markovich, Wichita State's director of bands, and Robert Young, former WSU assistant professor of saxophone, commissioned and premiered the work.
Sternfeld-Dunn's music combines a frenetic rhythmic language, lean textures and lyrical sensitivity. It has been performed nationally and internationally by ensembles and organizations including the Kiev Philharmonic, Contra Costa Chamber Orchestra, Yale Brass Trio, Conundrum Ensemble and the Interlochen Chamber Players.
The American Prize is a series of national performing arts competitions that provide evaluation, recognition and reward to artists, ensembles and composers in the United States.
For more information on Sternfeld-Dunn's award and the American Prize, go to www.theamericanprize.blogspot.com.
This story has been tagged College of Fine Arts, Faculty/Staff, Music. See all RSS feeds here
Created on Jul 2, 2013 2:31 PM; Last modified on Jul 2, 2013 2:32 PM
Open house planned for WSU's OneStop
Innovation helps WSU School of Nursing reach students
Golf course to close at Wichita State
WSU expansion will support job growth, innovation
WSU's Barton School gets new interim dean
Ulrich Museum Fall Opening Reception
Grant goes to KCEE
WSU School of Nursing one of 100 schools chosen
STEMpact2020 gets coordinator
Claycomb named as WSU Ventures director
WSU students study, perform opera in Italy
New ballistics lab started by Wichita State's NIAR
Bibb makes Health Professions her new home
New go-to-resource available for WSU students


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Advancement Team
L'oreal is the Director of Institutional Advancement and holds a degree in Political Science from Towson University. She has worked in fundraising at Towson University, Gilman School and the American Cancer Society. Her family has a unique connection to our community. Her eldest sister graduated from La Reine High School; her middle sister was a part of the first graduating co-ed class at Bishop McNamara and she graduated from Bishop McNamara in the Class of 1998, which was the first class under the then principal, Marco Clark. L'oreal is married to Ozzie Edmondson and they have two beautiful daughters, Grace and Lily.
"Working at Bishop McNamara allows me to use my skills for God's work," says Alice Case, Director of Annual Programs within the Advancement Office and serves as the Faculty/Staff liaison for the Parents' Club. Mrs. Case oversees all the annual programs to include fundraisers, appeals, and Combined Federal Campaign (CFC), in addition to managing the Advancement office database.
Mrs. Case holds a B.S. in Business Administration from Old Dominion University and has taken additional courses in taxation, accounting, and art. She also has expertise in Raisers Edge database software. Alice has worked at Bishop McNamara for the past 13 years and is a 2008 Caritas Award recipient. Prior experience includes working for Navy Relief Services and volunteering more than 1500 hours as a budget counselor.
Alice, a native of Virginia Beach, Virginia, is the parent of Sarah Case, from the class of 2003, and she and her husband, Paul, reside in Huntingtown, MD.
As Director of Web Communications at Bishop McNamara High School, a catholic coed high school in the Washington DC area, Mrs. Cuellar is the designer, web content manager and author for the school website, faculty/staff intranet site, a manager of the school and alumni Facebook pages, as well as designer and author of the Mustang Minute - the Bishop McNamara and La Reine High School alumni email newsletter.
"Even as a La Reine High School graduate, I knew that I wanted to spend my energies helping others." Mrs. Cuellar went to Prince George's Community College for Nursing and Business Administration, trained at Lab School of Washington, American University and Johns Hopkins to facilitate students with learning disabilities and ADHD, with specific competencies in Assistive Technology. She later attended the University of Phoenix for Information Technology and Web Design.
The combination of skills in technology and educational support to children, along with a passion for fairness in education, led her to work in the Archdiocese of Washington (ADW) Catholic schools as a Technology Coordinator, Teacher and Director of Student Services. She served on the Archdiocese of Washington Catholic School's Board for Inclusive Practices in Education and as an Assistive Technology trainer in the ADW Paraprofessional Certification Program. Honored as Teacher of the Year in 2005 through the Archdiocese of Washington, she then joined the Admissions Team of Bishop McNamara as Associate Director of Admissions, technology support to the newly created St. Joseph's Program for students with learning differences, as well as Web Content Manager for the new BMHS website.
"I continue to enjoy working everyday with these marvelously talented students, meeting interesting alumni from both Bishop McNamara and its sister school (my alma mater), La Reine High School, and finding ways to design communication that successfully connects this community in important ways."
Mrs. Cuellar, is the mother of three children, Denis O'Donovan, and BMHS alums Katie '05 and Sarah '09. She is an Associate of the IHM Sisters, volunteers in her community and church, and enjoys spending time with her family and friends, especially her three grandchildren. She currently serves on the Joseph C. Ferrante Foundation Scholarship committee, named after her beloved brother-in-law, Joe Ferrante, who passed away in 2011. The committee is tasked with awarding post secondary scholarships to students who generously give back to their schools, church and/or communities.
Melissa Antonio Huar LR '91 is the Director of Special Events. Her background runs deep within the Sales Industry, Project Management and the start up of her husband business. She will be coordinating all of the Special Events here at BMHS. As a graduate of LaReine High School she is very excited to be working with the Advancement Team to further the vision of the school. Melissa lives in Calvert County, Maryland with her husband Don and her two daughters Carly Rose and Katie Rae.
Michael Jones received a Bachelor's degree in Educational Studies from The University of Delaware and a Master's degree in Organizational Communications from Bowie State University. He served as the freshman guidance counselor from 2003-2007. A 1996 Bishop McNamara High School graduate, Mr. Jones is a certified image consultant and combined his expertise and professional experience to develop workshops that assist young men in identifying their most influential professional, social and physical self. In addition, Mr. Jones has lobbied on behalf of The Maryland Catholic Conference in relation to the needs of non-public schools.
Robert Feasley is the Director of Communications, with an MA in Public Communication and a BA in International Relations from American University in Washington, D.C. He previously worked for Pivot Point Communications, a PR firm based in Alexandria, VA. He also currently coaches swimming with the L4 Masters Swim Club in Rockville, MD.


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· Prime minister to appeal to G8 in Guildhall speech · WTO's failure would 'echo around the world'
· Governments must tackle inequality, says report· Education identified as key to social change
All the commitments made by both donors and African countries to lift the continent out of poverty will be consolidated into one action plan and monitored on an annual basis, the Department for International Development said yesterday.
When Bill Clinton went on stage last week to promote his war on poverty, a Scottish footwear tycoon was by his side, pledging £55m for Africa. But where did Tom Hunter spring from, and is he too good to be true? Stephen Moss meets him.
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Guardian Hear Africa campaign 2005
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Thanks to ever-improving technology, ebooks can be produced relatively quickly and economically compared to their traditional print cousins. But with the temptation to capitalize on speed and low cost, it's easy for publishers to cut corners on quality, especially when it comes to things that affect look, layout, and readability-such as proper conversion of text, images, and other elements from a print book to an ebook. And because churning out sloppy electronic copy can potentially turn off customers, content providers are worried.
May 09, 2003
Virage, Inc., a provider of video and rich media software, has announced that Xerox Corporation has selected Virage VS Webcasting for a series of Web casts launching its new market strategy. On April 30 in New York City, Anne Mulcahy, chairman and CEO of Xerox, announced the company's new strategy and hosted special guest speakers Michael Hammer and Esther Dyson. By simultaneously Web casting the event both live and on-demand, Xerox was able to reach hundreds of customers, employees, business partners, and press who could not attend the presentations in New York. The strategy presentation is available on-demand at http://vswebcasting.virage.com/xerox/office.htm. An alternative to legacy satellite-based systems or expensive Web casting service providers, the VS Web casting solution is designed to allow organizations to deliver high-quality video- and audio-based presentations. From event scheduling and preparation to real-time Web cast operations to detailed event reporting, this solution provides Web-based tools to assemble and manage interactive Web casts. VS Web casting combines streaming audio and video with slides, digital documents, software demonstrations, Web pages, and other online media. The latest version of VS Webcasting will include proprietary new ScreenCast technology from Virage which enables presenters to share and demonstrate Web pages, Microsoft Excel spreadsheets, Visio diagrams, or any other document or application that can be displayed on a computer desktop. For more information about VS Webcasting, including product specifications, a whitepaper, and a self-running product demonstration, please go to http://webcasting.virage.com.
www.virage.com www.xerox.com