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Cinema/Chicago's yearly CineYouth Festival celebrates the work of youths 21 years old and younger, highlighting the creativity of the next generation of filmmakers. Best Of The Fest showcases the winning films from the 2013 CineYouth Festival. This screening will include a Q&A with winning CineYouth filmmakers.
In the dead of a snowy Russian winter, police major Sobolev, rushing recklessly to the hospital for the birth of his child, causes a fatal accident. Panicked and under great pressure from his colleagues, he participates in the cover up of his crime. But that decision will have disastrous consequences, compounded at each step by the increasingly elaborate scheme and its violent results. The tension builds to an electric climax as the guilt-wracked Sobolev goes on the lam in this thrilling crime drama.
Russian with English Subtitles 99
Manrique's lonely existence watching over an abandoned salt mine in the remote Colombian Caribbean suits him just fine. Content in his isolation, with a dog that spends its nights chasing fireflies as his sole companion, his world is upended when his teenage daughter Valeria shows up as if out of nowhere. As the days pass, Valeria's determined but cheerful presence forces Manrique out of his routine in this beautiful, understated story about family, love, and the small joys of life.
Spanish with English Subtitles 100
Chicago's groundbreaking improvisational comedy scene is lauded all over the world. Bringing together the worlds of improv and film takes a host of talented individuals - but what exactly are the key ingredients that make the magic happen? Come hear from a panel of writers, producers, directors, and actors who have worked - often in multiple capacities - with film and improv, and find out what they think makes it all come together.Panelists:Susan Messing, Actress and Comedian, The Annoyance Theater and iO Theater Frank V. Ross, Director, Tiger Tail in BlueDenis Declue, Writer, About Last NightJimmy Carrane, Comedian and Host of "Improv Nerd"Moderator: Ron Falzone, Columbia College ChicagoThis is a FREE event! Tickets must be obtained from box office.
When two best friends photograph a gigantic fish leaping out of the sea, their small town blossoms into a tourist hot spot in Jonah (Tanzania/UK). Yellow Fever (Kenya/UK) reflects on the effects that globalization is having on the African woman's understanding of beauty. A majestic drag queen descends into a breakdown in Nairobi's iconic central station in Florescent Sin (Kenya). An old man is getting ready to go to an important meeting in Siggil (France/Senegal). A Ghanaian family, lost in America, travels to a Louisiana church to find a cure for their problem child in Boneshaker (USA). When a small boy catches her with her lover, Fatine must pay a terrible price in The Curse (Morroco/ UK). In a township divided by an age old feud, a boy falls in love with a girl from the other side of town in KanyeKanye: The Line (South Africa).
A Ghanaian family, lost in America, travels to a Louisiana church to find a cure for their problem child.Part of Shorts 5: Spotlight Africa
English 13
A majestic drag queen descends into a breakdown in Nairobi's iconic central station.Part of Shorts 5: Spotlight Africa
When two best friends photograph a gigantic fish leaping out of the sea, their small town blossoms into a tourist hot spot.Part of Shorts 5: Spotlight Africa
English 17
In a township divided by an age old feud, a boy falls in love with a girl from the other side of town.Part of Shorts 5: Spotlight Africa
Zulu 26
An old man is getting ready to go to an important meeting.Part of Shorts 5: Spotlight Africa
French 20
When a small boy catches her with her lover, Fatine must pay a terrible price.Part of Shorts 5: Spotlight Africa
Arabic 16
The effects that globalization is having on the African woman's understanding of beauty.Part of Shorts 5: Spotlight Africa
Swahili, English 7
The true story of an unlikely friendship between a radical libertarian and a hedonistic capitalist, this unconventional biopic follows two outsiders who bond despite antithetical worldviews. Simon Spies was one of Denmark's most powerful tycoons whose enormous appetite for sex and drugs was legendary. Mogens Glistrup was a right-wing provocateur who built a political career on anti-tax activism. Director Christoffer Boe (Allegro) traces their remarkably colorful, volatile history together in this hugely entertaining story of two larger-than-life figures.
Danish with English Subtitles 110
Baron Ferdinando Cefalù (Marcello Mastroianni) longs to marry his nubile young cousin Angela, but one obstacle stands in his way: his fatuous and fawning wife, Rosalia. His solution? Since divorce is illegal, he hatches a plan to lure his spouse into the arms of another and then murder her in a justifiable effort to save his honor. Director Pietro Germi's (Seduced And Abandoned) hilarious and cutting satire of Sicilian male-chauvinist culture was awarded the 1962 Academy Award® for Best Original Screenplay.Year: 1961Part of Comedy, Italian Style: This year, the Festival celebrates Italian cinema with a look back at beloved comedies covering five decades.
A brilliantly-observed, hilarious sex farce from Czech New Wave master Jirí Menzel (Closely Watched Trains), The Don Juans looks at a small town opera company's efforts to mount a production of Mozart's Don Giovanni. The eccentric director Vitek has unusual views on opera and uses the production as an excuse to bed every woman he meets. Passions flare onstage and behind the scenes as the small company prepares for a wholly unique adaptation of the Mozart classic.
Czech with subtitles 98
In this brooding, sharply written drama, long estranged brothers Marten and Volker reunite at their abandoned childhood home. Hoping to convince his still angry younger brother to reconcile with their imprisoned mother, Marten finds his efforts to reunite the family thwarted by Volker's deep-rooted resentments. Steadily paced and saturated with intriguing twists, Nordstrand tracks the troubled history and painful present of a family torn apart.
German with English Subtitles 89
With the popularity of horror and genre films at a seemingly all-time high, opportunities for genre programming and distribution are also growing. Join a panel of programmers, filmmakers and distributors who will discuss the current surge in popularity of both independent and studio-produced horror and genre films, and consider how film festivals, exhibitors, filmmakers, and distributors can make the most of this (blood) thirsty new audience for horror.Panelists:Ti West, Director, The SacramentMichael Winton, Director of Marketing and Publicity, IFC MidnightJohn McNaughton, Director, The HarvestLisa Holmes, Home Entertainment Director of Sales, Music Box FilmsModerator: Julian Grant, Columbia College ChicagoThis is a FREE event! Tickets must be obtained from box office.
A man wakes up with a hangover, only to discover the consequences of his previous night's actions in The Captain (Australia). A woman trapped in an unhappy marriage decides to take advice from the Virgin Mary in Mystery (Spain). A games arcade turns surreal as two schoolgirls confront their frustrations in Arcade (UK). When a young American woman enters a party in the South of France, some of the guests begin to wonder what she is doing there in Social Butterfly (France/USA). A young photographer takes a group of Tibetan nomads' pictures against various exotic backdrops in Butter Lamp (France/Tibet). Tino's manhood is put to the test when he has to host a date for Diablo, the family's stud cat in The Date (Finland). The special bond between two brothers living in a remote fjord with their parents is explored in Whale Valley (Denmark/Iceland).
A games arcade turns surreal as two schoolgirls confront their frustrations.Part of Shorts 7: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
English 6
A young photographer takes a group of Tibetan nomads' pictures against various exotic backdrops.Part of Shorts 7: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
Tibetan 15
A woman trapped in an unhappy marriage decides to take advice from the Virgin Mary.Part of Shorts 7: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
Spanish 11
When a young American woman enters a party in the South of France, some of the guests begin to wonder what she is doing there.Part of Shorts 7: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
English 14
A man wakes up with a hangover, only to discover the consequences of his previous night's actions.Part of Shorts 7: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
Tino's manhood is put to the test when he has to host a date for Diablo, the family's stud cat.Part of Shorts 7: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
Finnish 7
The special bond between two brothers living in a remote fjord with their parents is explored.Part of Shorts 7: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
Icelandic 15
Despite a paralyzed leg that keeps him on the fringes of society, Grigris comes alive at the local nightclub, tearing up the dance floor every night. When a relative's hospital bills start piling up, Grigris must turn to the black market for work. After double-crossing his new boss in a desperate attempt at fast money, Grigris finds himself on the run in this sensitive depiction of a desperate, marginalized man by one of Africa's most celebrated directors.
French and Arabic with English Subtitles 101
Two-time Oscar®-winner Haskell Wexler presents his legendary film about a reporter who becomes embroiled in the violence at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. Shot in Chicago during the convention, the film blurs the lines between staged and documentary action. The screening will also include Wexler's brand new Medium Cool Revisited (2013), a short documentary comparing his classic film to Chicago's recent NATO protests. TV newsman Walter Jacobson will lead a Q&A with Wexler after the screening.
When Enrico (Tony Servillo), the leader of Italy's opposition party, abandons politics and disappears without a trace, the party leadership finds itself at a loss - until they uncover his long-estranged mad genius lookalike brother, Giovanni, fresh out of a mental institution. Passing perfectly for Enrico, Giovanni quickly garners overwhelming public support with his bracingly candid political ravings. Equal parts absurdist and contemplative, Viva la Libertà offers a droll satire of contemporary Italian politics.
Italian with English subtitles 94
Liling, a hip young DJ, returns to her rural village to care for her ailing mother. On the advice of the doctor, she tries to slow her blind mother's memory loss by describing the world around her. As Liling herself struggles to stay connected to the physical world, she begins to become subsumed in her mother's world of mysticism and imagination. Beautifully dreamlike, this sincere and poignant film follows Liling as she grows closer to her fading mother.
Chinese Mandarin with English Subtitles 80
Winner of the Academy Award® for Best Foreign Language Film and called Fellini's "final great film" by Roger Ebert, this surreal quasi-autobiographical comedy follows adolescent prankster Titta's childhood in the quaint, eccentric village of Borgo San Giuliano in Mussolini's Italy. A joyous, often nostalgic, account of Titta's fantasies, family feuds, and seemingly fantastical adventures, Fellini's dreamlike masterpiece lovingly pays tribute to village life, and to the wonderful embellishments that cloud our memories.Year: 1973Part of Comedy, Italian Style: This year, the Festival celebrates Italian cinema with a look back at beloved comedies covering five decades.
In rural China, the job of enforcing the Communist Party's one-child policy falls on government bureaucrats tasked with imposing fines, birth control, and forced sterilizations. Xu Huijing documents this process in his native village of Ma, following the tenacious efforts of the local birth control chief during an increased sterilization quota period, revealing the absurd and tragic local consequences of high-level government policy.
Mandarin with English Subtitles 68
This modern day film noir tracks Parker, a shy high school teacher arriving at a new school. While he is earnest in his passion for teaching, his extra-curricular attentions are drawn to a gorgeous young woman. When he realizes she is a student at his very school - and forbidden fruit - he grows increasingly obsessed. When the girl goes missing, a female detective comes snooping around, fueling Parker's unstable, even dangerous, behavior as she gets closer to the shocking truth.
Xhosa, Zulu and Sotho with English Subtitles 109
An unreservedly honest, emotionally resonant love story from director Roger Michell (Notting Hill) and screenwriter Hanif Kureishi (My Beautiful Laundrette), Le Week-End follows Meg (Lindsay Duncan) and Nick (Jim Broadbent), whose 30-year marriage is dominated by routine and built up resentments. An anniversary holiday to Paris only makes matters worse, with each word and action inciting deep-seated rancor. An accidental meeting with an old American colleague (Jeff Goldblum) challenges the couple to find some way to re-ignite the spark.
A bittersweet tale of ill-advised romance from director Drake Doremus (Like Crazy), Breathe In follows music teacher Keith Reynolds (Guy Pearce), a family man who once held lofty musical ambitions. His life with his wife Megan and daughter Lauren, about to start her senior year of high school, is disrupted when the talented, intelligent, and devastatingly beautiful British exchange student Sophie comes to live with them for the semester.
Moving to Tehran for her studies and desperate for a place to live, quiet, studious Nazanin rents a room from vivacious shop girl Sahar. Although the two are unlikely companions, Sahar coerces Nazanin into joining her circle of friends. When Sahar ends up in trouble, Nazanin is drawn into the complex web of debt and deceit surrounding her roommate. With pitch-perfect performances by the two female leads, Trapped draws an intelligent portrait of the subtleties of inter-personal power dynamics.
Farsi with English Subtitles 92
This atmospheric WWII thriller follows twin boys sent to the Hungarian countryside to wait out the war's violent barrage with their embittered, cruel grandmother. Only 13 but grimly determined to survive, the brothers decide that the only way to endure the horrors of war is to by extinguishing their own humanity. A chilling portrait of young psyches warped by inconceivable trauma, this critical and audience favorite took the top prize at the prestigious Karlovy Vary film festival.
Hungarian with English Subtitles 110
Hard-working architect Ryota spends his days meticulously planning his family's future. His plans are turned upside down when he and his wife discover that, due to a hospital mix-up six years earlier, their young son Keita is not their own. The foundations of their identities as loving parents begin to crumble as they must negotiate their newly complicated circumstances, as they meet their biological child and send Keita to live with his new family.
Japanese with English Subtitles 130
Introvert Weichung's measured life as a family man is shaken up when a chance encounter revives feelings from his long suppressed gay past, forcing him to choose between love and security. Meanwhile, his sister, engaged to the nicest of men, begins to question her own desire for conventional family life. Fantastical flourishes and a sunny musical score color this bittersweet romantic comedy that is at once wise and funny in its exploration of formal notions of family, sexuality, and friendship.
Korean, Mandarin with English Subtitles 104
Stifled by his ailing father's oppressive presence, Helmer moves him to the second floor of their isolated rural farmhouse. Free from his father's judgmental gaze, Helmer finds himself developing increasingly warm relationships with the milk truck driver and an attractive young farmhand who moves into the house. Helmer quietly develops a newfound self-confidence and openness towards his own sexuality in this gorgeously acted, intricately plotted film.
Dutch with English Subtitles 93
In Patagonia, 1960, an Argentine family meets a German physician on the long road to Bariloche. The first guest at the family's newly opened inn, the wealthy doctor ingratiates himself into their home life with his charisma and his scientific knowledge. Little do they know, however, that they are housing one of history's most monstrous criminals, and that he might be continuing his experimental practice in their own community in this chilling, captivating story.
Spanish, German, Hebrew with English Subtitles 93
The 12 O'Clock Boys are a notorious urban dirt bike pack, weaving through the streets of Baltimore at dizzying speeds. In this wild, dynamic documentary, their stunning antics are seen through the eyes of young adolescent Pug - a bright kid obsessed with the riders and willing to do anything to join their ranks. 12 O'Clock Boys presents the compelling, intimate story of a young boy in search of his dangerous, thrilling dream.
Touted as the first Shakespeare adaptation to deal with contemporary African American issues, H4 re-imagines Henry IV Part I and Part II in the context of modern-day Los Angeles, performed by a top-notch cast of black actors led by Harry Lennix (Man of Steel). As Henry's unreliable son Hal comes of age, events compel him to increase power and responsibility as he becomes the face of a new nation and prepares to succeed his father.
John McNaughton (Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer) returns with this eerie tale of a couple - Samantha Morton (Minority Report) and Michael Shannon (Man Of Steel) in a pair of fierce, brilliant performances - that keeps their sick young son Andy isolated from the outside world. When young Maryann moves next door, her attempts to befriend Andy are met with vehement resistance from his overprotective parents, fueling her suspicions. But she could never imagine the shocking truth.
Shot on a miniscule budget but positively bursting with style and energy, this hugely inventive DIY crime thriller follows Tony, a young cigarette seller in an Abidjan ghetto. Ignoring the pleas of his policeman brother to stay on the right side of the law, Tony gets increasingly mixed up in local gambling and criminal activities until a moment of violence puts him on the run from the law.
French and Nouchi (Ivorian dialect) with English Subtitles 70
Factory worker Heli lives a modest life with his father and his sister Estela in rural Mexico. In a misguided attempt to finance his elopement with the 12-year-old Estela, police cadet Beto steals two large packages of cocaine, setting off a string of increasingly bloody, painful, and even fatal consequences. Awarded the prize for Best Director at Cannes, Heli takes an unflinching look at the cycle of drugs and violence in contemporary Mexico, depicting immense brutality with shocking frankness. Warning: this film contains extreme violence.
Spanish with English Subtitles 95
One day, young Tore - a member of the "Jesus Freaks" Christian punk movement - meets Benno by the side of the road. Before long, Tore moves into a tent in Benno's garden, gradually becoming part of his family. But Benno can't resist playing cruel games designed to test Tore's faith. As the violence becomes more and more extreme, Tore's capacity for love is pushed to its limits in this disturbing, nihilistic drama. Warning: This film contains extreme violence and animal cruelty.
German with English Subtitles 110
A chilling new thriller from acclaimed genre auteur Ti West (House Of The Devil) and producer Eli Roth, The Sacrament follows three reporters to remote Christian commune Eden Parish, where the residents' sunny disposition hides dark secrets. When the Parish turns menacing, the reporters find themselves helpless in the middle of nowhere. Brilliantly written and acted by a fantastic cast of indie film all-stars, The Sacrament pushes at the boundaries of the "found-footage" format to create a different kind of horror movie.
A gleeful homage to Bram Stoker's classic novel from legendary horror auteur Dario Argento (Suspiria) with the master's distinctive twist on the familiar story, Dracula 3D focuses its story on the characters of Mina and Lucy, two women in the Count's erotic thrall. When the shape shifting Count sets his sights on Mina, and then Lucy, neither woman can resist his sinister charms, although failure to do so means joining the ranks of the undead. Director Dario Argento scheduled to attend.
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An accelerated program allows students to complete the J.D. degree requirements in two-and-one-half calendar years. Students must complete five semesters and at least one summer session in full-time status.

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Why fluids exert pressure and how it relates to force and area. How to calculate pressure or force and factors that affect fluid pressure.
Provides a short overview of the siphoning process and explains how gravity and air pressure play a role.
Reviews why fluids exert pressure, how pressure is related to force and area, how to calculate pressure, and factors that affect fluid pressure.
Find out why water creates a type of friction called drag and how a swimmer can reduce drag to swim faster.
Learn how air pressure--instead of water and gravity--is used to flush the toilet on an airplane and where the waste goes after it leaves the toilet.
Find out how puffed breakfast cereals are made and why they "snap, crackle, and pop" in milk.
Find out how muscles and Boyle's law explain how we move air into and out of our lungs.
Learn how pressure inside bike tires is related to temperature and how to keep your bike tires at a safe pressure.
Learn about strange fluids such as oobleck that do not follow Newton's laws and why their unusual properties might be useful.
Find out how to use a hydraulic car jack and how Pascal's law explains how it works.


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Special Operations OPSEC Education Fund's file:
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Recent statements involving Special Operations OPSEC Education Fund
The Obama administration "willfully leaked the existence of STUXNET (a computer worm used against Iran), allowing our enemies to learn more of our secrets and of our operations."
The Obama administration "leaked information, deliberately or otherwise, that led to the identification of the Pakistani doctor that helped us in achieving our goals and killing bin Laden."
"Days after the (Osama bin Laden) raid, Hollywood was invited into the White House so that they could receive a briefing" that revealed intelligence sources and methods.
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Jessica Fydenkevez (CDP '2010)
Jessica Fydenkevez (USA) received her B.A. in English and political science from the University of Rochester in 2007. She mentored and tutored preschool students as a member of the AmeriCorps program JumpStart. She has had the opportunity to research state legislation with the non-profit organization Project Vote Smart in Montana. She is currently serving as an AmeriCorps member with the YouthServ team at the ACT Community Service Center in Greenfield, Mass., where she is developing service learning and leadership initiatives for youth. Her interests include community-building and youth development


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She was born and raised in Essignton, Pa. She was a caring and loving wife of 51 years and was also a very devoted mother and grandmother. She spoke often about her faith and taught her children and grandchildren good morals and to always trust in God to pull them through hard times. She loved being outdoors, whether it was fishing or admiring the leaves in the fall. She will be extremely missed by her loved ones, because she was the heart that held her family together and through her memory, the heart will continue to beat.
She was preceded in death by her grandparents; parents, Joseph and Margaret Mary Jarek; and her neice, Kelly Jarek Ellixson.
She was survived by her loving husband, Elbert Leon Thompson Sr.; children, Billy (Kathy) Morris, Joseph (Marcy) Morris, Elbert Leon Thompson Jr., Christine (Jimmy) Collins, Robert (Becky) Thompson and Margie (Joe) Pierce; brother, Walter (Pauline) Jarek; grandchildren, Matt Morris, Leslie (Chris) Prescott, Jason (Misty) Morris, Justin Morris, Casey Honeycutt, Josh Thompson, Travis Thompson, Ashley (Drew) Wisdom, Amanda (fiance Colt Courington) Pierce, Michael Pierce; nieces, Anna (Joe) Zajac, Jennifer (Scott) Chestnut; nephews, Jason Jarek, Jeremy Jarek and Paul Jarek; and host of great nieces and nephews and family friends.
Norwood Funeral Home, Guin; 205-468-3323


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ATLANTA (AP) - Cobb County sheriff's officials say they expect to file charges against a man in a fatal crash with a motorcycle.
Sheriff's Sgt. Dana Pierce says 44-year-old Marc Ullmann, of Atlanta, was riding his motorcycle north along Cobb Parkway Saturday night when a 28-year-old Atlanta man tried making a U-turn and hit the motorcyclist with his Mercedes.
Pierce says Ullmann was thrown from the motorcycle and later died at Wellstar Kennestone Hospital. Pierce says the driver of the Mercedes was also hospitalized with non-life threatening injuries.
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Detectives in Navarro County are searching for a mother who abandoned her newborn son outside a house Sunday evening.
Corsicana police say just before 9 p.m., someone found a newborn boy wrapped in a towel and a pillowcase, then placed in a handbag.
The baby, whose umbilical cord was still attached, was put outside a door under a carport in the 500 block of North 38th Street.
Paramedics rushed the baby to Navarro Regional Hospital, not far down the street. The child was admitted for observation.
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Grab a cuppa, get comfy - and let's talk about living as a Square-Peg in a round-hole world.
Consider this your grace space, where we connect around what's right with you, not what's wrong with you!.
Grab a cuppa, get comfy - and let's talk about living as a Square-Peg in a round-hole world.
Consider this your grace space, where we connect around what's right with you, not what's wrong with you!.
Posted on Saturday, 08 June 2013 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I've been invited to go on tour - the Creative Blog Tour - and you're invited to come too! Let's hear it for Square-Pegs on Tour!!
First stop: Feral Compass Living, internet home of my friend, Kimberley McGill - she's the one who issued the invitation. Kimberley writes from her huge and open heart - I love her writing and I bet YOU will too! Come see (click on the link above) how Kimberley responds to the Creative Blog questions.
Here we go (Square-Pegs on Tour). I've got this visual of a country fair - we're all there - which is cool, except now I want a funnel cake, sigh:
In its first incarnation it was small - part of a larger class; in this incarnation it's shaping up to be a week-long experience with video and audio as well as written word.
I'm also working on finalizing a memoir piece to submit to Creative Nonfiction magazine.
And, though this doesn't involve working on a specific project, it's important for my future work: I'm doing more organizational/system placement stuff so that what I write gets finished.
Because I'm always writing (even when it doesn't make it out of my head), but not always finishing up and sharing what I've written.
In other realms: one of the background systems things I'm working on is PLAY. Yep, play! Without that element in my life I wind up wearing poop-colored glasses (the opposite of rose-colored glasses).
Since taking a class on Practice with Lisa Hofmann (who I see is also on this creative blog tour) I've been working on bringing play into my life every day.
For me that means making time for textiles: knitting, crocheting, sewing, embroidery; combinations of knitting, sewing, crocheting, embroidery…
Playing with color - ohhhh, color! I picked up watercolors again recently - with no intention of learning to paint, just for play.
My work is Squarepegian (ok, might've made that one up) - trickster like - deep, yet often funny (or at least fun) because I'm a depth-diver - and I'm goofy. My work (and I) often ask: "Why?" and sometimes, "Why not?" - we ask, but not always obviously (we like to invoke thought).
In my young years I was shy (and Introverted, Highly Sensitive as well - which wasn't comfortable back then, but now - oh NOW! wouldn't change any of it for the world) which caused me to hide, watch, and listen - somewhat like a fly on the wall (but, you know - bigger).
During that time I learned a lot about deep listening - hearing what's behind words - about feeding my curiosity - and about STORY. And I found out that I look at things a bit differently than most folks.
All that (and a zillion other things that make up who I am) comes into my work - which is why it's unique (as YOURs is!).
I need encouragement - reminders that we're all vulnerable - and imperfect - and wonderfully, completely deserving of love just as we are.
I need stories; they're heart-fuel for me (and have been for my entire life). I grew up listening to - and seeking - story. I want to share stories from my heart - stories of realness - stories that say: "See, it's not just you - we're all in this together!" (and to remind myself of this).
I create - and always have (ok, not when I was in the cradle) - with thread and cloth, needles, bits of paper, beads, and yarn because I adore beauty and want to add my bit to the mix, even when it's unfinished or blemished beauty.
I create to express myself…
I create, and I write, to share grace, because it's been shared with me. My creations, in which/whatever form, are my way to pass that on.
That's how my process works best, but that's not how I always work it (double sigh).
My best writing is done in the early morning - and I attempt to do this (operative word: attempt).
Also, I need lots of internal stimulation; I don't work well when I have only one project going at a time - I get bored, depressed.
So my process involves having lots of balls in the air at the same time. But that can get a bit tricky - what begins as internal stimulation can wind up as overwhelm or worse (the draw of the dramatic: sooooo much going on - oh oh oh - what will I do? Oh, I've got the vapors. grumble, bitch, snarl.).
It's easy to loose track of a ball or two when there are all those balls in the air at the same time - it's also easy to have my attention drawn to another (shiny - oooh) ball I just have to play with (even when I've hit the max). So - balance (of the Square-Peg variety, which doesn't mean balance so much as noticing). Noticing is good for my process.
Process particulars, hmmmm. I kinda follow my nose. Most of my writing is in response/connection to something I've seen or heard (there needs to be an emotional pull of some kind). Also, most of what I write (when I'm in serious writing mode, as opposed to quick, off-the-cuff Facebook updates or the like) is nothing like what it started as. And that's good! But I hate it!! A lot!!!
As I work on getting clear in my communication, hone my craft, aim to tell my story true, I come up against (sigh of all sighs) the fucked annoyingness of words. The way they are incomplete - don't get the point across - or get the wrong point across. Their enormous limitations - even when we speak the same heart language.
My process involves a lot of that noticing thing I mentioned above* - noticing where what I wanted to say isn't coming through the words, which often leads to reexamining what it was I wanted to say, which is where I go deeper into whatever I'm writing (and into internal processing - reexamining ideas, asking myself deeper questions and listening for deeper answers) - and often have to toss the first bunch of (many hours of) work. Sometimes though, when I brush off the coal dust, I find diamonds (sometimes teeny, tiny - ok, miniscule - diamonds - but hey, diamonds!). I love sharing diamonds!
Next stops: I've asked a few lovely people to take the next leg of the tour - Crys Williams has graciously accepted (she was invited by someone else as well - so she's double invited!) - and I'll let you know tour locations as I hear from others.
*My noticing is greatly enhanced by discussions and editing work with/by Slightly-British Daughter.
Check it out! Kelly Gill accepted my Creative Blog Tour invitation - you can read her wonderful contribution here: Let Creativity Dawn.
Posted on Tuesday, 27 May 2014 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
From mice and men, ants and chewing squirrels - please deliver us.
Here at Square-Peg Headquarters (home) we're in the midst of a (modest) bathroom remodeling project. That, combined with a crap-ton of wet weather, has led to an inundation of men, mice, ants, and squirrels.
First it was the ants. Wet weather seemed to send them dancing into the kitchen and bathroom. This isn't uncommon in spring since the ground outside those two rooms probably fits the official requirements for a wetlands area.
But usually the problem is over before there's much time to bitch about it. Not this time! And yes, perhaps the delicious cake left out with no cover caused the ants to assume they were being invited to move in permanently. Sigh.
Cayenne pepper to the rescue. Slightly-British Daughter and I learned, from helpful employees of our local health food store, that ants abhor cayenne.
And it looked like cayenne pepper was working - no more ants dancing in the kitchen or bathroom.
Correction - it looked like the cayenne pepper was working. But when the contractor took out the bathroom ceiling (water damage - ack!) ants poured down on him like a waterfall (ack! ack!). Guess they were only hiding.
Next came mice. We've had an occasional mouse in the basement (easily relocated to the field by using a live trap) but none in the house proper. Until now.
The wet weather's been calling them in, too. They weren't so much dancing, though - just nibbling.
At first we didn't realize what was going on. A pack of gum and a forgotten Pez package seemed to have changed position in a drawer - and they looked a little frazzled.
Who's been messing with the Pez and gum? Next day a couple of mouse turds in the drawer answered that question.
Live mouse trap to the rescue.
Correction - live mousetrap to the rescue again. And again. And again. Night after night.
Manchild, head of mouse reassignment, was wearing out the grass between our house and the field.
We tried peppermint oil on cottonballs. Mice supposedly hate peppermint. But not our mice. Ours moved the cottonballs (peppermint dodgeball?).
Then there were squirrels. Chewing squirrels. Chewing squirrels who left enough sawdust on the patio in one day to carpet a small circus tent (holy shit, Batman - the patio rafters)! At least they stayed outside, but still! Ack!
And the men! All through the critter invasions there were men coming in and out - taking down ceiling and walls, taking out bathroom fixtures, reframing, disassembling, assembling…
More visitors than this (at times extremely) Introverted gal copes with easily.
But hey - it looks like salvation is nigh. The bathroom should be finished this week (that takes care of the men), the squirrels and mice and ants have already been dealt with (pretty much all by plugging up holes - blocking entry) and things will return to not-normal. Whew!
I'll say one thing (oh hell, I'll say lots of things) - dealing with the chaos, time schedule fuck-ups, and critter nonsense all at once would've kicked my ass royal a few years ago. It's still kicking my ass (occular migraines, stress-induced nutsiness...), but in a more Willie Nelson/laid-back way.
Thank you X-treme self-care!
Stay tuned, in the next post I'll be sharing about self-care for the Introvert (including some not-so-funny-when-it-happened stories).
How do we accept and celebrate our uniqueness? Where do we find community?
This is what we talk about in our brand-new e-guide packages: Square-Peg Celebration & Community is an Inside Job.
Hop on over to the Shop and read more (don't forget to listen to the free MP3 samples!).
Posted on Monday, 05 May 2014 in Home & Family Life, Self-care | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
This past Christmas my son surprised me with and iPod Touch (wooo hoooo and wow!).
Prior to that I used an untouchable iPod to listen to music and recordings - and couldn't understand the point of (or fuss about) apps.
Ahhh, now I get it. I guess I've got to mess around with something - see it working - to get a handle on it (odd, since I used to need to read about something, figure it out in my head, to understand).
The picture above was made using the Diana App, which (I feel like I'm one of The Jetsons as I type this) randomly combines two pictures when you shake your iPod. Weird - and wonderful.
Diana (the app) combined a picture from a recent Little Princess (granddaughter) visit with one taken during a winter visit. The filter it used when combining the pictures is called (amazingly apropos) DreamTime!
Wanna play? I'm on Instagram - come say "Hi!".
How do we accept and celebrate our uniqueness? Where do we find community?
This is what we talk about in our brand-new e-guide packages: Square-Peg Celebration & Community is an Inside Job.
Hop on over to the Shop and read more (don't forget to listen to the free MP3 samples!).
Posted on Friday, 04 April 2014 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
We were heading out of a very noisy eatery - having sat through lunch knees-to-noses with a shit load whole lot of businessfolk - when Slightly-British Daughter said something I couldn't quite hear (because of the noise).
It was even harder to hear her because she was curled in on herself - kinda like a daughter ball.
"Whaaaat?" I asked shoutishly (again, because of the noise).
Then I heard her. In between gasps of laughter (and this wasn't even a drinking lunch) she explained that her arms and legs weren't working with her - they were in revolt, so she'd said: "my body is revolting". And realized, as the words came out, that those words had more than one meaning.
Not so funny: I struggle with that feeling sometimes - the "my body is revolting" thing.
Ok, I don't actually (usually) feel that my body is revolting, but as I get older I'm less than thrilled with some of the changes my body is making. I mean - gravity.
And here's my confession: I recently doctored a photo before sharing it on Instagram (see photos above and below). Gasp!
I didn't exactly give myself a Photoshop facelift - or attach my head to the body of a 20 year old. What I did do was kinda sorta hide my chin(s).
That wasn't even my original intention. I was just trying to frame a photo so that the squirrel in my head stood out. About that squirrel (so you don't think I'm completely nuts) - the photo was my silly response to The idea Room's Instagram photo-a-day prompt: "in my head".
So, as I messed with framing the photo (full confession) I got kind of excited about hiding my chin(s). When I realized how much it mattered to me to hide those chins I decided to confess.
Because I could imagine that, unconfessed, I'd find myself hiding more and more things more and more often.
When I read my friend Jane Cunningham's pro- aging balm post about aging (which made me want to cheer, spin and dance naked in the moonlight!) I decided it was time to share my confession (which had been sitting around waiting to be finished for weeks).
In Jane's post she declares: "I am going to go all Wabi Sabi on the war against aging women. I will not hide this - I want my daughters to feel beautiful when they are my age. I want them to know beauty is more than porcelain skin and pert breasts. No platitudes about what shines from the inside will do in this surface loving world."
Oh, let's join with Jane! (Read Jane's pro- again balm!!!)
Let's LIVE this!
~ ~ ~Want some more Jane? Read our Interview with Jane Cunningham.
~ ~ ~Like this post? Check out the Body-Image/Body Love category (listed on right side of the blog) for similar body lovin' posts. Psst - they're often light-hearted, because awareness and acceptance (huge components of Love) often involve giggling.
Here are some from our Body-Part Wednesday series:
Fun Feet
My Left Breast, this one was written by my friend Luna (aka Maripat Oberg)
Body-Part Wednesday V (Shoulders)
Want some playful tools and exercises (and stories!) to amp up awareness, acceptance and connection with YOUR body?
Check out Choosing Me! Body Connection ~ Body Love., our MP3 recording & transcript (there's a free preview button in the middle of the page!).
Posted on Tuesday, 18 March 2014 in Body-Image/Body Love | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
(And when you start focusing on your needs and navigating your goals, well - who knows what might happen!!!)
I've had this book twice. I bought it first when it came out in hardback. When I held it in my hands and glanced through it I pronounced it: "soooo cool!".
But I never used it - I just admired it. And eventually (ouch - it is hard for me to let go of books) gifted it to someone when I needed to dismantle a couple bookcases in my bedroom.
I didn't let Jennifer Louden mess with my life - until I did.
There's that saying: "when the student is ready the teacher will come" True!
When The Life Organizer came out in paperback the publicist asked if I'd like a copy to consider for review. I remembered how taken I was with it the first time (and all the promise contained in its pages) and I pretty much leaped in with a: "Yes!"
This time I was ready - and there was Jennifer Louden (well, her book anyway) willing to mess with my life.
The Life Organizer, if you work with it (take a tip from me: for some reason nothing happens if it sits untouched on your bookshelf), slows you down and gets you listening to yourSelf. It's directions, roadmaps, and travel guide to the land of Now (hellz, it'll connect you with your GPS).
The (physical) book itself is gorgeous - the design, the colors, the paper - all lovely. And the way it's set up is very Square-Peg (no my way or the highway crap, respectful of our uniquenesses - designed so that you can move into it in many directions).
I am loving this book: answering the questions in it, using the prompts, s l o w i n g down and paying attention to my needs and desires - wow!
Below is an article from Jennifer Louden that shares her views on life organizing - check it out and see if you might like to let Jennifer mess with your life:
Life Organizing: A Completely New Way to Flow with Time
By Jennifer Louden
Do you feel a pull to be present, to match your pace to the fluid and complex world ours has become? If so, the more traditional approaches to managing your life and structuring your days can hog-tie you, forcing you to relinquish the skills most needed in today's world – like intuition, emotional intelligence, creativity, and big-picture thinking.
I've got an alternative. This process, what I call life organizing, is infinitely richer then plotting your days in fifteen-minute increments in your planner. But one warning: change can be frightening, especially at first. I will ask you, over and over, to trust, to loosen your grip on life. I will ask you to stop and feel, to tune in to what you really want and what you really know. The rewards of your courage are limitless – a life that sings, that moves with instead of against.
While a short article isn't enough space to give all the knowledge, experiences, and thoughts I have about life organizing (I'd need to write a book to do that – and, in fact, I have!), I can provide the basics. Life organizing works in two complementary ways, easily adoptable and adaptable:
1) A life planner that you choose and create. This planner will enable you to discern what you want week by week while gently tracking where your time and energy are actually going, and what might be getting in your way of living a life you love. The life planner's core is four to six weekly mindful questions that build on and refer to each other, and move you into a deeper mode of awareness and listening.
2) A check-in that consists of five steps and requires as little time as it takes to open the freezer, find the ice cream, and get a spoon.
1. Connect: Breathe deeper, stretch your arms overhead, step outside and feel the breeze on your skin - anything that connects you with the physical world.
2. Feel: Tune into your heart to access information unavailable to your head. Put your attention on your heart, placing your hand there. Recall a time you felt loved and appreciated or loving and appreciative. Linger there for a few seconds.
3. Inquire: Ask a mindful question to open up possibilities you literally couldn't see before. My favorite: What do I need to know right now? (What if you really didn't need to know more than the next immediate step?)
What do I want? (Creativity requires being in touch with your undiluted desires. Remember, you don't have to act on what you want, and wanting doesn't mean getting.)
What don't I want? (Sometimes the process of elimination can be less intimidating than naming your desires outright!)
How can I be gentle with myself in this situation? (We can all benefit from asking this many times a day)
4. Allow: Trust that, by connecting, feeling, and inquiring, you'll hear or see or feel or sense what your next step is—and only your next step. Allowing is about noticing your experience, and opening to your next step.
5. Apply: Action is where the practical and results-oriented parts of you get their due. Without action, without decision, you remain in possibility, which is safe and beautiful but eventually enervating and boring. That doesn't mean eating the whole elephant in one bite; small steps aren't just okay; they're encouraged.
Life Organizing in the Moment in Action
It's mid-morning, and your plan for the day is already in shambles. You're reaching for a Diet Coke, hoping it will give you the energy to deal with the next crisis. Then you remember that there's another way. You make the choice.
Feel your feet connecting with the ground beneath you. Take a deep breath and reach your arms overhead, exhaling with a huge sigh. Put your hand on your heart and recall feeling balanced and flowing. Ask, "What choice feels easiest in this moment?" Visualize bringing this question into your heart, and take a breath or two to infuse it with flow and peace.
Perhaps a brief image of your sister comes to mind, or you hear a refrain of an old song that reminds you of her. Or perhaps you remember the feeling of your sister hugging you. You call her, have a lovely chat, and when you get off the phone, you have new energy —enough to move you forward to the next task awaiting you.
Do you begin to see how this approach flows with life? I'm not proposing you sell your worldly possessions and move to the woods to live in an unheated yurt. I'm not recommending you consult crystals or the I Ching before moving a muscle. What I'm saying is when you think you're lost, overwhelmed, and without direction, you do "know" what to do to restore your balance and your direction– but it's a different kind of knowing, one you already possess, and need only be reminded of how to access.
Jennifer Louden is the author of The Life Organizer and The Woman's Comfort Book. A personal growth pioneer who helped launch the self-care movement, she's written 4 additional books on well-being and whole living that have inspired women all over the world. Jen believes self-love + world-love = wholeness for all. Visit http://JenniferLouden.com/lifeorganizer for a life organizer app & other useful freebies.
Based on the new paperback edition of The Life Organizer: A Woman's Guide to a Mindful Year © 2013 by Jennifer Louden. Printed with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA.
~ ~ ~ ~
Read more Square-Peg People Book Reviews!~ ~ ~ ~ Full Disclosure: The publisher of this book sent me a copy of the book to consider for review; I did not receive money for the review. Also, Square-Peg People is affiliated with Amazon.com, which means that when you buy from the link above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!
Posted on Friday, 21 February 2014 in Books, Self-care | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Don't worry, I know where I am. I probably should've titled this post Where I Am, rather than Where Am I - but I'm a little bassackwards at times.
As long as you're here (where I am as well - ohmyword, this could get confusing) let me point you to my friend L'Tanya Durante's site, Caring From the Middle, where I am honored to have a guest post called Quick and Easy Self-care Practices for those Crazy-busy Nonsense Days (which we all have!).
Wait! Don't go yet - I also want to let you know that we have a Square-Peg Interview with L'Tanya Durante and L'Tanya shared a post with us, called Oh Void, Where Art Thou? (which is part of our 2013 Support Stories series).
Ok, you can go now (but you don't have to - grab a cuppa and hang out, I love company).
How do we accept and celebrate our uniqueness? Where do we find community?
This is what we talk about in our brand-new e-guide packages: Square-Peg Celebration & Community is an Inside Job.
Hop on over to the Shop and read more (don't forget to listen to the free MP3 samples!).
Posted on Wednesday, 05 February 2014 in Self-care, We Love... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I see myself hiding behind the incinerator during elementary school recess. A straggly-haired little girl in clunky, corrective shoes avoiding group games like dodge ball, volleyball or cigarette tag.
I didn't hide when we were playing gentler games, like house - with rooms made of the separations between hedges. But those competitive, and (to me) seemingly mean games - oh, I was outta there!
Group games were not my idea of fun. I was the kid who secretly cheered when recess was cancelled. Yay - maybe I'd get to read a book!
Looking back I can see that I hid during those group games because I was highly sensitive and introverted, but for most of my life I thought that I hid because I was too young (I'd been pushed up a grade), uncoordinated, and unwelcome.
I felt deep shame about hiding (and about being uncoordinated and unwelcome).
Years ago I took part in an EMDR training. The way I remember it we paired up for an experiential/practice session and were told to focus on a moderately upsetting issue to work through (not something traumatic). I focused on the shame I felt about hiding during recess.
As we went through the EMDR process I felt a rush of self-acceptance, a shift in my thoughts and emotions around those school years - and around my classmates. I saw my classmates in a different way and felt differently about them.
I'd held myself (internally) distant from them - thought of them as the unwelcoming "other", but when my thoughts and feelings changed I had a soft spot in my heart for them.
The shame was gone.
Serendipitously, a couple months after the training I ran into Jane, an old schoolmate, and we got talking.
We talked about what we'd been up to since we'd seen each other last. My gregarious old school pal told me what other classmates and teachers she'd kept up with had been doing, and somehow (I have no idea how we wound up on this subject) we talked about me hiding during recess.
Jane was a big sports lover, she'd even been in the olympics, yet she talked about my recess-hiding in the way someone might talk about a puppy who steals tissues from their purse - like it was cute - something noticed but not judged.
My shame melted in the EMDR training, but that conversation settled it - shame wasn't coming back (at least not about hiding out during recess).
I'm not trying to sell you on EMDR - heart and mind opening shifts can come from anywhere. I've had them while reading books or hanging out with (and being awed by) Mother Nature - and certainly through conversation.
See the red door in the photo above? That door used to be part of the old Bucks County jail - until someone saw it differently. Their change of perspective led to a change in reality, which led to that door being part of something beautiful - rather than a soul-trapping jail.
That red door is now part of the James A. Michener Art Museum - a gorgeous and much loved museum in Doylestown, Pennsylvania. The museum's history page notes: "…the old Bucks County jail, once a place of fear and despair, has been transformed into a welcoming center of culture and beauty…" Cool, right?
What I wish for you (and me) is: shift after shift after shift - perspective changes forever opening the doors of our hearts and minds, changing our old (internal) jails into welcoming centers!
Posted on Friday, 31 January 2014 in Encouragement, Those Challenging Emotions | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
Slightly-British Daughter gathered gorgeous photos and encouraging quotes again this year for the annual Square-Peg People calendar - our gift to YOU!
I'm going to repeat what I said last year, (except I'll change the year to 2014) because it still holds true:
What a difference we could make out in the world (not to mention our own room, house, neighborhood) if we stepped into acceptance and appreciation of our SELVES, who we are NOW, right?"
YOUR copy is waiting for you right here.
Here's a glimpse of a couple of the photographs/quotes so you can see how lovely the calendar is (these are just screen shots, so not the same quality as the actual calendar):
The calendar is set up as an 8.5" X 11", 12-month calendar that you print yourself. It looks best printed on cardstock or matte photo paper (don't forget to hit "Scale to Fit" on your Print Screen to keep the images from getting chopped off at the bottom).
Wishing you a grace-filled, heart-open, uniqueness-appreciating, super Square-Peg lovely 2014!
Posted on Tuesday, 17 December 2013 in Encouragement | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Support Stories continues with Kelly Gill's contribution - a beautiful reminder of the strength found in letting go (and also a reminder of Love, of course!).
You can read previous years' stories by clicking on the image or link above!
When I first started thinking about the stories from my life that required my own gathering of inner strength, I thought of several, but nothing seemed to really hit home as the thing I should write about. That's when confusion and doubt set up shop inside my mind. I spent the next two days struggling for some clarity. Finally, I just told myself to stop and let it go for a while.
Aha! That's it. Just let go.}
When I was a child, around nine years old, I used to go camping with my dad and stepmother. They had a permanent spot at a campground with a camper there year-round. The camper sat about twenty feet from and fifteen feet above a great little creek/river. Every year around early May we'd go out to the campsite to set things up for the coming camping season. And every year, even though the spring-fed river was cold and the water was still a little high from the tail end of the spring flooding, I would beg to go swimming.
Me: Daddy, I wanna get in the water.
Dad: No, it's too cold and the water's still a little too high.
Me: But Daddy, the water's not THAT cold, and I won't go out into the strong current. …I can do it.
My father was a great dad. He rarely gave "parental advice": meaning, he rarely told me what I should or shouldn't do. Instead, he believed that each person had their own skills and likes. And because of their uniqueness, they had to experience life in their own way, learning what worked and didn't work for them. So, on that day years ago, he gave me permission to get in the water and learn for myself whether or not the water was too cold and too high for me.
The moment my toes hit the water, the cold rushed through my feet and up my legs. Regardless of the slight shock to my system, I wasn't deterred, so I waded out a little further with the water coming up to my upper thighs. I shivered for a few minutes before I finally numbed a little to the temperature; then I got bold.
When I waded out just a tad bit further, the water now at waist level, my feet slipped out from under me. Quickly, I regained my footing. However a few minutes later, I wasn't so quick-footed.
When I waded out just a couple steps more – as a child, I always pushed my luck – the swift, high-water-current grabbed my tiny nine-year-old-frame and off I went downstream.
The current was wild. Quickly, I had moved from a shallow spot in the river to a point where the water would've been over my head even when the river level was normal. I flailed my arms, splashing water in my face, trying to gain control of my body and the river. I was scared. I knew this river. I knew every twist and turn. I knew where each log and rock was positioned. And I knew that I was headed straight toward a section of the river that hid, underneath its surface, large boulder-sized rocks that would (I feared) break my little body if I were to hit them with the force with which the current was pushing me.
I screamed for my father, "Daddy, help me!"
As I looked toward the bank, still flailing and fighting the current, I saw my father slowly walking along the fifteen foot high riverbank. I thought, "Why is he walking. Run, Daddy!" I screamed for him again. At his walking pace, I feared he wouldn't make it to the inlet that was about eighty feet ahead in time to catch me and pull me out.
I panicked. I fought the current. I used my arms and legs to try to control my position, to control my direction. The river was raging. I was fighting. Nothing was working. I was in the boulder-filled section of the river and I had no control over what was happening to me. I was going to hit a rock. I was going to get hurt. I flailed harder, trying to gain control, as the bank seemed to speed by me. The river was winning.
Again, I looked toward the bank, toward my dad. I cried out, "Daddy!" Still, he walked along the bank toward the inlet – he wasn't panicked.
I'm not sure why. Maybe his lack of panic gave me the strength to release my panic. But for whatever reason, l let go. I let go of my fear. I let go of my need or desire to control the river, to control what was happening to me, and I decided to have faith. I decided to have faith that he would make it to that inlet in time and he would catch me.
The moment I let go, everything slowed. The current stopped raging. The riverbank stopped speeding by. And I noticed that I wasn't moving as fast downstream as I'd thought. I could see down through the surface of the water. The boulders hidden beneath – the ones I'd been so afraid of – were too far below me to cause me any harm. I felt the gentle bob of the current. And I discovered that I was actually on a rather calm little ride downstream.
Then, I easily turned my body, facing downstream, and I saw my father waist deep in the river. His arms stretched out to catch me. His blue eyes fixed on mine.
A few seconds later, when he caught me in his arms, his eyes never having left mine as I slowly floated toward him, I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He comfortingly carried me out of the water and back to camp. He never said one word about being right about the water being too cold or too high for me. He just let me learn.
Twenty years later…
Just after Thanksgiving, my father was diagnosed with liver cancer. He didn't tell the family until after the holidays – he didn't want to ruin our holiday season.
In February, he went into the hospital to have a portion of his liver removed in hopes that it would give him a little more time. The surgery wasn't successful.
In some crazy miscommunication-snafu, immediately after his surgery, his surgeon went on vacation and his regular doctor was also unavailable. Both doctors thought the other doctor was going to keep check on my dad. With both of them gone, no one came to speak with my father about his surgery or about his prognosis.
For almost two days, nurses came and went, none of them having an answer for my dad's one question: how much time do I have left?
Finally, the Head of Oncology happened to stop by my dad's room while he was taking a new resident on informal rounds. My dad asked the doctor his question: how much time do I have left? The doctor told my dad that he couldn't tell him anything because he wasn't familiar with my dad's case. Internally, I called bullshit.
When the doctor left my dad's room, I thought for a moment. I knew that my family disliked the fact that I would ask a question that was uncomfortable. I seemed to have a knack for talking about the big pink elephant in the room when everyone else was (un)successfully ignoring it. I also knew they wouldn't want me rocking the boat. They wouldn't want me making waves, causing a scene by asking a question. But I also saw the confusion, fear and stress my father was experiencing. He just wanted to know how much longer he had to live. Hell, if I were him, I would've wanted to know too.
So I made up my mind. I let go of the people-pleaser inside me. The part that worried what my family thought about me or my need to know. I let go of all the I-Should-Voices inside me. The ones telling me I should behave; I should be quiet; I should just wait it out, because someone will come along; I should let someone older, someone more responsible, handle this.
I let all that go, because in that moment, it was my turn to catch my dad. It was my turn to wade waist deep into a cold river and reach out for him.
When I walked out of my dad's hospital room, determined to find that doctor and get some kind of answer from him, I found the doctor and his resident starting to leave the room next door. I positioned myself in the doorway, one foot braced against each side of the frame with my arms crossed, trying to look formidable.
Head of Oncology: "Excuse me. We'd like to walk by."
Me: "Yeah, sorry about this. …My dad's doctors aren't available, and he keeps asking how long he has to live. Could you look at his paperwork and talk with him?
H.o.O.: I'm sorry, but I'm not familiar with your father's case, so it's impossible for me to say.
Me: (a little angry at this point) You're a doctor, right? ...Well, three months ago my dad's tumor was the size of a golf ball. Today, it's the size of my fist. With that growth rate, would you guess he had a year?
H.o.O.: (not even a flitch of expression)
Me: Six months?
The doctors gave each other a knowing look. I had my answer.
I thanked the doctors and walked back to my dad's room.
Gently, I sat down on the edge of my dad's bed – my family had all gone down the hall to the lounge. I eased his hand, callused from forty years of carpentry work, into mine; he opened his eyes. I looked into his bright blue eyes, just as I had the day he caught me in the river, and I softly said, "Dad. I talked to the doctor who was just in here. I have an answer to your question."
For the next few minutes I recounted every word and glance the doctors and I had exchanged. Then I gently said, "So…it's just a guess…but you have, maybe, six months to live."
My dad never took his eyes off mine. Neither of us cried. We simply held each other with our eyes in a tight, warm embrace. Then, after a minute or so, he thanked me and closed his eyes to rest, but he held on to my hand. He seemed comforted.
My dad died just a few days shy of six months from the day we had this conversation.
I can't tell you how you gain your inner strength. I can only tell you how I gain mine. And from all my reflection over the times in my life that I've needed to gain my inner strength, one common thread has emerged: letting go. Letting go of my fear. Letting go of the need for control: of others, of myself, or of the situation. The moment that I've said it is what it is and let go, riding the current, having faith that someone will catch me, even if that someone has been me, I've had strength.}
~ ~ ~ ~
After college, I plan to move to sunny southern California where I hope to continue public speaking on the subjects of LGBT and cultural diversity issues while I earn my life coaching certification.
Oh, and I'm training for my first 5K in April.
You can connect with me at the following: at Facebook, Twitter, Kelly Gill Writes.
~ ~ ~ ~
More Support Stories here!
Posted on Monday, 09 December 2013 in Encouragement, Guest Posts | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
Support Stories, Square-Peg People's encouragement for the (sometimes hard-to-deal-with) holidays, begins the 2013 season with a heart-opening guest post from my friend, L'Tanya Durante.
Click on the Support Stories image or link above to find previous years' stories - and to read about the reason behind this offering. Visit often, there are more stories coming!
It seems like I've spent a lifetime trying to fill the void. I've chased it, stuffed it only to wake up the next day with the emotional packing peanuts strewn all over the floor.
Then I'd start over. It was like looking at the sun. I tried to avoid the glare of my emptiness, again. I think the fact that I kept picking up those damn peanuts made me feel strong.
Sometimes those peanuts looked like chocolate or beer or books or other crap I didn't need. Year after year I searched for the right stuffing that would finally shut the void up. I fell right into the trap of our culture, a culture that claims to have just the right product or opportunity to help fill us up 'til we're fat (but can lose the weight) and burping with happiness.
Only it didn't work. It never works.
This year had to be different. This year—the year circumstances have deemed the worst of my life—had to be different in order for me to survive it.
So I stopped stuffing. I stopped, turned around and asked the void to tell me something…anything.
And surprisingly it answered…
I've always been part of you.
I'm not empty.
I'm the cytoplasm of cells of your life's circumstances.
You try to fill me so you can sleep. I move and I shake to wake you up.
You try to avoid me so you can move on. I change my shape to get your attention.
At times I am amorphous.
And then other times, I am the shape of the ones you've loved and lost,
the bittersweet taste of his mental illness,
the crackling sound of the fried egg he used to make,
the smell of her hair the night before she died.
I won't be ignored. I can't be chased down. I can't be filled. I can't be dammed.
I have a purpose, a natural flow, and a beauty that deserve recognition. I'll always tell you what I need. All you have to do is ask.
I am your strength.
This year—the worst of my life—I'm learning to make peace with the void.
What does your void say to you?
~ ~ ~ ~Pssst - I love the subtitle of L'Tanya's beautiful, information and heart-sharing site: "the online home for the artful caregiver".
More Support Stories here!
Posted on Wednesday, 04 December 2013 in Encouragement, Guest Posts | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Pat Schneider: How the Light Gets In: Writing as a Spiritual Practice
Brene Brown: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Staci Boden: Turning Dead Ends into Doorways: How to Grow through Whatever Life Throws Your Way


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Family business — and your mouth — en fuegoMarch 03,2014
By Tara Kelly
Three years ago, Mary Jane Raiche of Ira looked out at her sizeable home garden and asked herself, "What am I going to do with all of those tomatoes?" She poked around different recipe books and decided to try making salsa. Her friends and family were immediately smitten with its hearty texture and fresh taste.
As Mary Jane tinkered with the recipe, her husband, Bob, started bringing the salsa to his co-workers. They served as taste testers and gave critical feedback about the product. Through word of mouth, the sales started to spread. Eventually, a jar even found its way to a potluck in Boston where a well-known chef got a taste of the salsa's fiery flavor. Reportedly, she said it was the best she ever had. It was then that the Raiches knew they were on to something.
In a society that measures economic activity by jobs added, square feet developed and capital investments made, Raiche's Salsa hasn't yet registered on the radar screen of economists. However, it is part of a much richer story than economic data will ever tell. It is the story of a Vermont family making a living through ingenuity and hard work.
The Raiches are practical people. They have taken one small step at a time with their burgeoning salsa business. Mary Jane makes large batches in her home kitchen during the small amount of free time she has after working her full-time job managing the local McDonald's. Meanwhile, Bob calls on the skills and connections he made as a delivery driver for Thomas Dairy. And together, they have created something that people really want.
Early on, local businesses such as Poultney Pools and the Main Street Market in West Rutland began carrying the salsa, and now their product is found at some of the local Price Chopper stores including Rutland and Manchester.
How did they do it? Well, they certainly make it sound easy enough. At first, Mary Jane told Bob, "I'm not making any more salsa until you can show me it will sell." So, Bob loaded up the trunk and began knocking on the doors of retail food stores.
"If I liked the looks of it, I stopped and went in," Bob said. "The food co-ops have been really great to work with in Rutland, Middlebury and Manchester."
Like most good stories, there was a little luck along the way. The person doing corporate purchasing at Price Chopper got to talking with Bob and it turned out the buyer grew up right behind Thomas Dairy.
Of course, there were a number of great people who helped out along the way. A neighbor who is a graphic designer created the attractive, eye-catching label, and as a seasoned businessperson in the food industry, John Thomas, of Thomas Dairy, provided valuable advice.
But the product sells itself. Mary Jane has a strong commitment to quality. She only uses fresh ingredients — nothing canned. Then each jar is hand-packed to remove excess liquid. These details make a world of difference in taste.
But, as with any small business, there are always challenges. Bob had a major health issue last fall that really slowed things down. It happened right at garlic-planting time. Though thanks to friends, including local farmer Frank Gorham, 800 heads of garlic were planted for use in this year's batch. While they use as much locally grown produce as possible, Mary Jane and Bob haven't yet timed their salsa production to operate with exclusively local ingredients. And they also find it valuable to produce fresh batches of salsa throughout the entire year, when local isn't always an option.
When I asked the Raiches about their plans for future business growth of the salsa, they talked about wanting to keep the business small enough to maintain its high quality. So will this salsa operation ever register with the economists? Maybe not. But, in the meantime, a great family is producing an outstanding product that is meeting a consumer demand while earning them some extra income. It seems like that ought to count in someone's books.
Tara Kelly is the executive director of RAFFL, the Rutland Area Farm and Food Link. You can reach her at email@example.com. Raiche's Salsa can be found on Facebook.MORE IN This Just InTOWNSHEND — A 26-year-old Townshend man shot his off-again, on-again girlfriend late... Full StoryA Rutland jury has returned a verdict in favor of a retired obstetrician and Rutland Regional... Full Story
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June 6th: Weeks (and days) prior to cruise I arranged for Cruise Critic members to travel by shuttle bus from Rome to the port and from the airport (FCO) to the port for only 20 euros ($27) each (that was seating 8 people in each van). I invited Cruise Critic members on the cruise to sign up and they did. This was a great savings compared to Carnival Cruise Lines. The company was Roma Shuttle (www.romashuttle.com) and I emailed Alfredo. All in all I arranged six (6) shuttles for pre-cruise and post-cruise transportation. Embarkation was swift, about 15 minutes. Dropped off carryon luggage in room and then went around the ship. Stopped at the Lido deck to eat a bite. Luggage came within a few hours time. Lifeboat (muster) drill at the beginning of the cruise and that was it. Lasted about 30 minutes. The Carnival Caper (daily paper dropped off at cabin) updates you on daily activities. You can rearrange your dining room with the Maitre'd. We took the late supper in The Chic restaurant and our service staff was Ovi and Gudi (sp?). Dining throughout the cruise was spectacular!
June 7th: Naples, Italy - I prearranged for a tour (Amalfi Coast) with one of the most renowned guides on the internet (Marcello Maresco). Cost was 92 euros ($123) each (group of 6 people in the tour) plus optional lunch fee 20 euros ($27). It was well worth it. You see the Amalfi Coast like the other tourists never get to see it and you avoid the "touristy" spots that suck your wallet/purse dry. Pompeii was 11 euros ($15) each. Marcello arranged for us to join another group and we split the 100 euro ($134) with each member of the group. Time spent on the entire tour was from 7:15am-4:30pm, but the Pompeii tour was 1 1/2 hours long (at the end of the day tour).
June 8th: (First) Sea Day (first formal night) - Essentially a catch-up on your sleep day -- you'll need it! The ports of call will have you running almost everyday so get ready and get your sleep!
June 9th & 10th: Venice, Italy -- Arrived at 1pm (June 9th). This is the only port which keeps you in port overnight. Once we got off the ship we followed the crowds that lined up to get a ticket to drive over the bridge. Instead of standing in that long line for 15-20 minutes ,we walked over the bridge in half that time. Immediately, we saw the transportation station where we were able to buy a "vaparetto" (water bus) pass. The 24 hour pass cost 15 euros ($20) each. [Note: When we returned to the ship later that day we decided to take it easy the next day and did not use the pass the second day.] The vaparetto stops (like most buses) all over town. The vaparetto stops are named after the apostles (St. Tomas, St. Marc, etc...). In St. Mark's square you can buy a bag of pigeon food for 1 euro and the pigeons will literally land all over your arms for you to feed them. A great picture op! We left port at 3pm on June 10th.
June 12th: (Second) Sea Day -- Again, catch up on your sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day!
June 13th: Messina, Sicily (Taormina) -- If you start far enough in advance you can arrange a bus for 10 euros ($13.40) each instead of the $69 fee for Carnival Cruise Lines. The bus holds 54 people (not including the driver.) We filled two buses on our own from Cruise Critic members. It takes you to Taormina (a one hour drive). There's really nothing to see in Messina (an industrial port). Lots of shopping, beautiful views and the Greek Theatre. If you want to get a perfect picture (classic) of Mt. Etna, you need to get to the theatre as early as possible (before 10 am). I got a good picture of Mt. Etna at 9:30am but by 10am the suns heat had caused the snows on the mountain to evaporate and create clouds of condensation around its summit. The best picture can be taken from the seat (O-16) in the Greek theatre BEFORE 10am! You will see the mountain peak through the arch of the theatre with it's columns. A GREAT SHOT. Remember SEAT O-16. Cost for access to the theatre is 6 euros each ($8). You can get the ticket stamped at the ticket booth on your way out and they will allow you to come back in later in the day if the weather (or clouds around the peak) are a problem. After leaving port the captain will take the ship around an active volcano (Stromboli) which makes for some great shots including a sunset amid the smokey air currents.
June 14th: (Third) Sea Day (last formal night) -- You are in the home stretch now. The next three days are VERY BUSY ports of call! Get your sleep!
June 16th: Cannes, France -- This is the only port we had to tender from. The captain told us the night before that the forecast was for some strong winds and that he might need to relocate the ship behind a small island after tendering people in the morning. He said, if you come back and the ship is not there don't think, "Oh my God! They've left without me!" The ships tender will just take a little longer. He was right! The ride back to the ship was quite rocky. Parasurfers were out and enjoying the weather. More great shots! We walked to the train station and took a train (roundtrip) to Monaco/Monte Carlo for 15,40 euros each ($21). Many stops but the ride only took 1 hour 10 minutes one way. Took pictures of the famous Monte Carlo Casino and even went inside for 10 euros ($13.40). They didn't have the blackjack tables set up yet so I got a refund (darn)!
June 17th: Pisa/Florence, Italy -- Once we got off the ship we immediately began to haggle with the local cab drivers. We were able to negotiate a fare for the day for 400 euros (50 euros each = $67). Later, I heard someone had a cab driver offering even less. I recommend get off early and negotiate vigorously for the best English speaking driver. Ours (Gabriel) spoke above average English. He took us to Michelangelo Park (a hilltop setting overlooking the city of Florence) before the stores opened at 9:30am. Then he gave us a copy of his personal map with his cell phone on it (3923965522). His cab number was N33. He was an intelligent, young man. It took about an hour to get to Florence, then an hour to Pisa. The trip from Pisa to the port was 25 minutes. We only spent about 35 minutes at Pisa taking the traditional "holding up the tower" pictures. They wanted you to have your luggage packed and outside your cabin door by 11pm.
June 18th: Rome, Italy -- Debarkation. Everyone was to be off the ship by 9:30am. We spent the day in Rome. As I said previously we arranged for shuttles to transfer people to the airport (FCO) and to Rome (those who were staying longer). The cost was 20 euros ($26.80) each for a van of 8 people. We stayed at Hotel Gea (also near the terminii) for 125 euros ($167.50). Breakfast was included and it was a nice family run hotel.
June 19th: Took a cab to the airport for 40 euros ($53.60) rather than hoof it to the train station at 6:30am. Flew home first class, direct (Delta) using frequent flyer miles. It was quicker (only 9 1/2 hours.) Thank God, we never had any luggage problems as I heard some had taking connecting flights. On the first day of the cruise we learned that 84 people did not have their luggage at the time of sailing.
Well, "That's all, folks!" Loved the cruise and would do it again in a heartbeat!
Rich & Lindora Costello Atlanta, GA firstname.lastname@example.com


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Email: firstname.lastname@example.com | Twitter: @WWLTV
Every year, just before Halloween, residents of the Faubourg St. John neighborhood will hold a party to mark the season.
It's called Voodoo on the Bayou and the President of the Faubourg St. John Neighborhood Association, Michael Cohn, joins the Eyewitness Morning News, along with the singer "Lips" from the band, "Lips and the Trips," to talk about the fun and the fundraising that goes on there.
This year's Voodoo on the Bayou, the annual benefit for the Faubourg St. John Neighborhood Association, will be at the Pitot House on Moss Street, this Saturday at 7:30 p.m., and tickets are just $50 in advance. For more information or to order your tickets, call (504) 486-7793.


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There's a Farmall 135 for sale in my neighborhood. One owner, barn kept in excellent condition. Comes with a plow, cultivators and mower. Asking price is $3000.
I'm a Cub owner, farming small vegetable acreage in the mountains of east KY, and need another tractor. Any thoughts, suggestions or information about this tractor would be appreciated