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CNHI News Service
MANNINGTON, W. Va. — The remains of a World War II soldier who was killed 69 years ago when his plane went down in Germany have been returned to his home in West Virginia, where he was laid to rest between the parents who never gave up hope that their son would come home.
Sgt. Jerome E. Kiger was 22 years old when his plane went down July 21, 1944. He was buried Sunday in Mannington, W. Va., where dozens of flag-waving well-wishers lined the streets to pay tribute to the fallen soldier returned home.
Kiger's remains were discovered in 2008 by a German man named Markus Mooser, who was walking in a forest and saw a depression in the land that looked like a crash site. It was about 1,000 yards from where officials thought the B-24 Liberator had gone down all those years earlier.
Mooser was present Sunday alongside family members -- most of whom had never met Kiger -- friends and other veterans for the memorial service.
"Jerome took me here from Germany," Mooser said during remarks made at the graveside. "It's a long way, and it's for me an honor. I'm really proud to be here at his funeral, to stay with his family, and I'm very thankful to be invited."
When Kiger's plane went down in 1944, nine airmen were aboard, said Sgt. 1st Class John Oliverio, a casualty assistance officer with the 201st Battalion Field Artillery in Fairmont, W. Va., who has helped the family through the ordeal.
"Sgt. Kiger was the tail gunner and Sgt. (Charles) Marshall was the belly gunner," he added. "The plane got hit and as it was going down, the pilot yelled for everyone to bail out."
But accounts from family indicate Kiger wanted to stay to help his friend, Marshall.
"Something caused him to stay with the plane and he refused to jump. That's from the sister telling me, not the official report," Oliverio said.
Seven of the men jumped; one died when his parachute failed and the other six were taken as prisoners of war, Oliverio said.
After a year, the Army declared Kiger dead.
When Mooser found the crash site in 2008, he researched the plane's identifying marks and determined it was likely the plane that carried Kiger and Marshall. The U.S. military excavated the site and found human remains, and DNA tests confirmed the soldiers' identities, Oliverio said.
Marshall, of Martin, Ky., was laid to rest earlier this month.
On Sunday, Oliverio said he was impressed by the turnout on the flag-peppered procession route.
"You know what's neat is that it's not just old people, but the young people," Oliverio said as he gestured to a woman and a boy standing and saluting. "They could be inside playing video games. But they are choosing to stand out here and hold flags."


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I'm baffled.......What exactly is the wrongdoing here?Right Java?
]the wrong doing is the azz hat is expressing guilt. what an embarrasment to real men everwhere.
Leave it to an O voter to find the meat and potatoes of the story.
Wife gains weight, stops caring about her looks, starts withholding relations with her husband. He cheats and we all shake our finger at him, what a bad person he is.I still don't quite get it. I guess he probably should have divorced her before he started nailing the 24 yr old.

subset: commoncrawl


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Alcohol Abuse Screening Quiz
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- April 7, 2006 at 8:24 am(1) Guy says:
I have had a problem with equally alcohol and substance abuse. I'm 26 and just starting to turn my life around. I keep making the same mistakes and am so tired, I don't seem to have the strength to find another way. I just need some help or advice about how to just say no.
- April 14, 2006 at 11:38 pm(2) pete says:
im 27,i had a problem with drugs,from age 12-25.ive taken just about everything apart from heroin and crack.my cousin died of an overdose.she was 25.one of my best friends brothers died from septicemia caused by injecting..he was 23.they were not from broken homes or anything.they were not poor as u would think.they had respectable families etc.i finally realised i had a problem,got help and have turned my life around,am now a different person.that was hard for me..
- April 22, 2006 at 7:13 pm(3) jo says:
I am an addict in recovery and grateful for getting well. I was ordered by the court to attend a 6 month residential treatment center for women, because there was an open bed. The clients there are mostly ones right out of prison. I have not ever been to any residential treatment nor have I ever been in trouble for anything to do with drugs. No record or posession, or any drug offense ever. I voluntarilly told the courts that I had used drugs. I did not ever want to go to a program like this. Can I go to the county for a 28 day residential treatment instead of a 6 month one with women prisoners? I am very uncomefortable & I have alot to loose, financially & emotionally? Please resond to my e-mail. thanks
- April 23, 2006 at 2:38 pm(4) alcoholism says:
You will have to ask the officer of the court if you can substitute a 28-day program for the six months' program. Generally, if you can afford to pay for your own treatment, the courts usually allow you to do so, because it saves the taxpayers money. But each jurisdiction is different; you will have to ask.
- June 2, 2006 at 10:44 pm(5) Anya says:
Hi sweetie. I almost did the exact same thing. I have no DUI's no arrests for drug related things and almost entered a re-hab house (asylum) because I felt suicidal. Anyway scary ass place, everyone there was out of prison….are you still in that place?
- June 2, 2006 at 10:54 pm(6) Anya says:
I'll make my story short and direct. Before I was married I would get my high from sex. I drank, but no drugs. Once married (now 3 years into it)he stopped having sex with me (he has his own issues),anyway I was patient for months and months being a good wife. This year depression has taken over my life. I started cocaine to fill the emptiness and saddness (not wanting to have an affair). Now I can't stop using. It's almost a daily thing. All I can say is this drug has a hold of my soul. I don't see a way out…..Has anyone gotten out?
- July 30, 2006 at 8:29 pm(7) Barbara V says:
Can you help me post Juneau Alaska's Schedule on the site for meetings?
- July 30, 2006 at 8:55 pm(8) alcoholism says:
I sent you an email.
- August 1, 2006 at 12:42 am(9) Michael says:
NONE of you have and 'alcohal or drug problem' Tell me this, if this was your problem, then just don't drink, but wait, every time you 'just dont drink' you for some odd reason start drinking. see, all of you here have only heard the watered down BS that has become AA meetings, you all have an incorrect description of the problem, which gives you an incorrect solution. There is both a phisical alergy (once you start you cant be sure when youll stop) and the mental obsesion (you cannot stop starting). this is why you need to read the big book of AA and work the steps from it because guess what, the crap written on the wall where you have meetings is a 'breif summary' of the twelve steps, alot like ingredients to apple pie, if i gave you a list of ingredients to that apple pie and told you to make me and apple pie what would you come up with???? ill tell you apple something but it wont be pie, because without the directions that goes with those ingredients, you cant do it right. the Big Book of AA are those directions, so get one, read it and work the steps properly, if you have any questions e-mail me
- August 1, 2006 at 12:47 am(10) Michael says:
anya, please e-mail me
- September 4, 2006 at 1:49 am(11) tin57 says:
I know exactly how harmful alcohol is in our body. And I really pity those who have not worked things out with their problem with alcohol. I hope things are not late enough for you to realize the consequences of your vices.
- September 13, 2006 at 7:05 am(12) Kathy says:
I need advice I need help. I'm sinking fast. HELP
- February 10, 2007 at 7:34 pm(13) Jodi Leib says:
I recently directed a short film about a family struggling with alcoholism called "Red Love Redemption." The film is about making amends and shares experience, strength and hope. Here is the link:
Jodi Leib
Film Director
- March 8, 2007 at 5:30 pm(14) Irene H says:
I can only speak from my experence. I couldn't stand living the same things over and over again. Abusive boyfriends, unhappy at my job, hating myself. No matter what I tried to change, nothing worked. The only thing that was constant in my life was my drinking. NOW, after 16-months of sobriety, I'm have a completely new outlook on life. I'm in a wonderful loving relationship, I have a great job, and I actually feel JOY in my life. Who knew. Only YOU can decide for yourself where your road leads. Programs are out there. But you got to want it. That's the trick. No one can make the decision for you. I did a lot of research beforehand by going to http://www.Barnse&; Nobel.com, Amaazon.com, and http://www.choices-nyc.com to find books, pamphletts and stuff. I found great books that helped me make the right decision for myself, and I'm a truly grateful person today.
- March 29, 2007 at 2:27 am(15) Lisa says:
I have a cousin who is in her late 20′s. She has been drinkin from the age of 14. She has two children. (4 and 1 yr old). She really didnt raise her 4 yr old, until recently; when her mom was got ill. (c.o.p.d and now terminal cancer) I understand that is hard to take. I love them all. Im really close to my aunt, and the 4yr old. I know she drank with both pregnancies. more so with the 2nd one. She has a abusive boyfriend. He has charges against him. Child neglect, and dom. violence on him. But he is there all the time, because she loves him..etc. The family is worried about the kids, and her. So I volunteered my home, my time, my family. I rescheduled our lifes to help. Because no one was welling to help just sit back an talk about it. We I took the kids, she was packing everything up (shs has to move, anyway.) I was helping then, she was just using this time to lay up with her boyfriend, drinkin not getting anything done. So I took them back. I had the kids for 10-11 days. ( off and on) stories would change, when she was goin to rehab, how she was goin blah, blah..alot of lies. She was laid up with the guy that beats her. Like she was on vacation from the kids. I rent and they did me a favor,so I can get the girls for 30 days. My husband has said; enough is enough. She is goin to have to do it on her own; when she is ready. Its not now.
How can someone do that, and not have enough respect for themselves, their kids, parents, and you dont bite the hand that helps you either. I dont know if its court order, or on her own. she lies to much to believe her. My hands are tied. I have to go on with my life. My kids drs appts, my marriage, my life. well thats it. So how do you help someone who dont want the help, and thinks you owe them something just because your family. Thanks Lisa
- May 27, 2007 at 10:15 pm(16) maria says:
My husband has in a the Bell Shelter rehab last year from 5/06 thru 12/06 for drug and alcohol abuse and posession charges. While the the shelter for the first three months he was doing just fine up until 09/06 when I could no longer be there for him like he wanted me to. He just could not understand that I was goingthru aa lot @ that time since my cousin had just been murdered and I was having personal issues dealing with everything around me. So instead of supporting each other me with my issues and him with his he decided to have an affair with someone in the program that he had just met in 08/06 for many months I could not figure out what was going on but when I did he could not tell me the truth. I really do not understand how a program like this allows two drug addicts get involved espeacially when everyone there knew he was married and now she graduated from the program in 02/07 and they took off together but the story takes a twist because as expected he and her are now back on drugs and now he is more lost now than he ever was before. I guess no matter what we do as wives to support the men we love we could never compete with the drug habit and the women that they find that support it it since they just really don't care about anything but having that man find money and drugs for them. Now I fear for him because of our children but if he doesn't want a good women and a good life with his family he is just going to have to learn the hard way because he is no longer allowed to see our kids and all the financial support he had from me was taken away. Someday he will want to get it together for himself and return to the way it was but by then it will be too late to make a relationship with his kids because now since the last aggresion that he did us the children want nothingto do with him and they are only 8 AND 7. Unti the day that he wants to get his life really together the children and I will have moved on as always without him.
- July 14, 2007 at 11:10 pm(17) jeanlafittepirate says:
i grew up in alcoholic family who
had lots of alcoholic friends.
i wanted to be sober. but gradually
i too became alcoholic. in my opinion
since i had been a fan of the prohibition party and movement growing
up, was raised with AA, as parents
were members and so were grandparents,
but they never did take it seriously,
alcoholism is caused by alcohol.
if ya don't drink ya don't get drunk.
things go better with sobriety.
- October 6, 2007 at 3:43 am(18) Joe says:
On this journey called life, I like any other normal person have been through many difficult times. One golden nugget that Ive learned is that it is perfectly normal to go through trials, but it is absolutely abnormal to build a house and reside in the middle of them.
God expects us to reach the promise land, but to celebrate that; we must walk through the desert (sand in our shoes, bad hair days & all). In the AA program we are encouraged to work the steps. Rain or shine we are to continue working towards the solution. Its when we stop and make residence in our troubles; that we set ourselves up for a major fall.
As a kid growing up in the city, my brothers and I along with others from the neighborhood, would finds ways to entertain ourselves during the long summer months. One day (why, I dont know) we all went down a manhole and began a journey through street drainage system. I remember my older brother instructing us all to take hold of the belt loop of the person in front of us. Holding onto that person for dear life, we all eventually saw the light at the end of the tunnel and conquered the darkness.
Like someone once said, If your catching hell, dont hold it and if youre going through hell, DONT STOP.
My friends dont ever roll over and die in your trials. Cry out to a loving God, didnt He promise to never leave you nor forsake you? And if you must, grab onto someone by the belt loop and experience the light of the promise land
Yours on the journey
Joe Rivera
Temecula, Ca
- October 13, 2007 at 5:48 pm(19) Bill P. says:
if you are an addict and/or an alcoholic, and can go one day without drugs or alcohol, you are MIRACLE!!!!
- November 16, 2007 at 12:30 pm(20) J Swenson says:
Alcohol IS a drug. It is a mind-altering addictive drug and causes up to 60 different diseases from cancer (of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, breast, bowel, liver and pancreas), bleeding ulcers, heart attack and stroke, neurological damage, prostate disease, impotence, high cholesterol, infertility, miscarriage, awful birth defects, premature aging and increased risk of pneumonia, to name a few. And second hand alcohol is much worse than second hand smoke. Alcohol is involved in half of all murders, half of all violent crime, one third of all child abuse, one third of all suicides, 60% of all domestic violence, half of all traffic deaths,and a large portion of unwanted pregnancies, sexual assaults and divorces. Over 70% of all Americans say that alcohol has negatively affected their lives. Its time to quit talking about alcohol like it is something benign. It is the world's most destructive drug and costs the US business and taxpayers nearly $200billion/year! Fourteen hundred students die each year from alcohol related causes! It is a disgusting habit and makes people act stupid at the least. If you Need alcohol to have a good time then you have a problem. So lets stop saying alcohol AND drugs and just say drugs (including alcohol).
- December 2, 2007 at 5:56 pm(21) No Alcoholism says:
A key factor in any alcohol recovery program is this: first, alcoholics have to admit that they have a drinking problem and then they have to find a treatment program they can buy into and one that works for them. In short, one size does not fit all people.
- December 2, 2007 at 10:25 pm(22) No Drugs says:
After reading a number of the comments on this website it is apparent to me that a lot of people are really struggling with alcoholism, with drug abuse, or with both. It seems that most of these people want a way out of their addiction and want to start living a better life. Thank goodness I don't drink alcohol and don't take any drugs. But if I had an alcohol or a drug problem, I would seek professional help in a program that I believe in and one that I feel will work for me. And once I overcame my addiction, I would fight like crazy to never let myself get into the addiction abyss again. Just my two cents
- December 30, 2007 at 5:12 am(23) Doug in Denver says:
1 year ago on 01/02/07 I called in and quite a very good job I had been at for almost 10 years because I was so full of anger, fear, and ego from drinking alcoholically for 25 years. I drank all day, every day for the next 2 months only leaving my place to go to the liquor store to buy more gallons of whiskey. On 02/27/07, after 2 months of non-stop, blackout drinking I tried to quit cold-turkey for one day and suffered a seizure from alcohol withdrawl and woke up in the back of an ambulance heading to the emergency room. I started going to AA on March 1, 2007 and took in the program with all my heart, mind and soul and by the grace of God I am now 2 days away from going 10 months without a drink. I have a new job, new perspective on life and live life "one day at a time." AA and the support groups around it saved my life and opened my mind to a way of life that is better than anything I ever got out of a bottle. Go to an AA meeting, get a big book (AA Big Book), and do what it says and listen to what other people have to share at the meetings. You'll hear your own story from the mouths of others and realize that there is a way out, and it is a much, much better way to live!
- February 1, 2008 at 6:10 pm(24) Gordon Rouston says:
I have been sober and drug fee 31 years, wrote a book, MY MIND HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN, in book stores and on my web site, main purpose is to share my experience, strength and hope, set captives free, I have been given this great gift and now devote my life to speaking, marketing my book with a second one out this year entitled, I'Am Sober Now What!, love to talk with fellow addicts.
- February 2, 2008 at 2:47 pm(25) Gordon Rouston says:
Please do yourself a favor and stay away from psychotic drugs, antidepressants etc., even though the so called experts will prescribe them like candy, they are killers and will turn you into a zombie, very dangerous.
We have a very complex system of electronics running through our bodies, when we short circuit them there will be trouble, we're looking for a quick fix, escape and the so called professionals have no idea what they are prescribing, what the meds will do and how tough it is to get off them, never go cold turkey if your on them now.
I know this alcoholic could not get sober without God, I gave up the alcohol and drugs by Grace, no other way for this drunk-addict, I know many will scoff on this idea that your higher power can be anything, it can but if we want to be truly free then we must go to a power that is greater then any drug, one that can help us stay sober and look deep inside to get to the root causes. Remember that we suffer from a disease of the mind, body and soul, the alcohol or drugs is the symptom not the root, we must get to the root for any lasting recovery and a new life.
- February 22, 2008 at 1:28 pm(26) Beth says:
I'm not really into the higher power thing, I believe the power comes from within and that's how I quit drinking. I found the tools on this about.com site really useful and used them last year when I was trying to figure out how to find help. I DID NOT want to go to AA or to a recovery center and I am happy to say I was able to get control of the situation at home and with the help of psychiatrist who prescribed topamax and also I used a program developed by Roberta Jewell that focuses on nutrition and hypnosis and other things. I also started to see a therapist which I never thought I'd do but it was recommended to me by people in the forum I visit almost every day and it was a life saver. Different strokes for different folks. I wish us all to be better and there are just different ways of doing it. I've been clean and sober for nearly a year and I feel like I have my life back!!!
- March 16, 2008 at 8:35 am(27) valanti says:
ii thing have the biggest problem! read,write,talk, listen, about 14 mounths,to really my life is 1000 times better when have active in drugs,i can hold simple and in one day have many unstayble i thing filling,one up so up and one so down,that make fill crazy in my mind,is hard to want help and i dont say (can you help me) ,so i am happy to read all your comments and hope to finfd the true god want,be well!
- April 19, 2008 at 8:50 pm(28) DEBBIE says:
girl, i know ur pain, Im an alkie, ex duggie trying my best to get by, pray 4 better days
- May 11, 2008 at 11:09 am(29) leroy says:
Im 19 years old about to be 20 years of age on july 20. i feel like i won't make it another twenty years if i don't do a complete 180. None of my friends know how i feel they think i'm gonna be the same person till the day i die. Never started doing hardcore drugs until about a year ago even though it's been around me my whole life. My dad is a recovering crack addict ha if that's what you wanna call it he goes to rehab every other month for a little bit, then gets out and goes out on a benge. So for that reason i never messed with crack but i've been doing heroin no trackmarks just the powder, smokin weed, doing oxycotin, and cocaine. I don't blame anyone but myself for my own wrong doings but i'm sure partial of the reason the way i am who i am is because most of my family is drug addicts, alcholics, or in jail. someone comment this or just say a silent prayer for a young man tryin to get his shit right.
- May 12, 2008 at 9:30 am(30) nice says:
I kept wondering why mostly of the teenagers are addicting in alcohol. They are having a problem both alcohol and drugs.I myself don't have a problem about that. I don't want to waste my life in that stupid vises.Thats why I'm pity for those who are engage in that activity.
- May 14, 2008 at 11:02 am(31) Sunny dev says:
This is the very dangerous addiction and everybody who indulge in this dadly habit should rethink if he want live his/her full life with their own efforts……..
- May 14, 2008 at 11:11 am(32) Arnold says:
It sounds great to have Red wine, whight wine, Vodka….but there is one more word comes with each of them IT KILLS and that is the ultimate reality…
- May 14, 2008 at 11:16 am(33) john says:
In very large part, it will vary depending on a person's physiological makeup (e.g., height, weight, age, current state of health, state of mind). Other considerations include the person's "frequency" (1x per day? 3-5x per day?) and "quantity" of use and the "length of time" (days? weeks? months?) of their drug use prior to drug testing.
- June 27, 2008 at 10:54 pm(34) Linn-Dee says:
My husband was a dry untreated drunk until two years ago, when he became disabled and required joint replacement surgery. Feeling bored and sorry for himself, at that point, he became an active drinker again and has continued to drink since. His brain is so fried from the booze that he cannot love nor accept love, nor love himself, because of this insidious disease. He became aggressive with me after 13 years together, and I had to leave him. This is a man who once passionately won an award for his employer, a social service agency, which treated the victims of drunk driving accidents, when he was not drinking alcoholically. Today, he is a drunken driver himself. He has now lost his ability to think rationally and he is throwing his life away. Last time I saw him his face was puffy. He was so handsome and now he is likely dying of kidney and/or liver malfunction. Alcoholism is the disease that tells a person they dont have it. Please dont let it smart-talk you.
There but for the grace of God go I, and thank God for Al-Anon. I am lucky since I have my serenity and sanity, and do not have to live with the daily addiction to alchohol. Please let God bless you with recovery if you do. You are worth it.
- July 23, 2008 at 4:28 am(35) Michelle Gee says:
I was reading through the pain of addiction the people on this site are experiencing, I am sorry and I pray for each of you. The ones just realizing. The ones on the outside looking at, in or judgeing. The ones sounding timid and all that are addicts for life. Just remember to accept responsibility for your addiction by going to meetings, reading the material and seeking help to the bast of your ability. I am personally waiting for help myself. At 36 I've used for 21 years. This is the first time I am desperate for help. I am a heroin addict and have been calling the "waiting list " everyday to be detoxed at a hospital that accepts medi cal. I need detox and am afraid that my insurance will run out before I am called. If you Joe or anyone else have an answer for me I am listening loud and clear. I can not do anythng else that God has planned for me until I get some help. I can not do it alone or by just going to meetings. I need hands on help. I am destine for greatness but cant get there with my hands tied behind by back. Theres also no family support from my one and only family member. I am expected to just handle it which I cant but I want to. Can you help me get in to the hospital . I too am just recovering from a two year depression that has already led to 10 hospital visits in one year. I once got clean for about a week, maybe and since then I've been a lie. I didnt mean to but now feel I have to.
- July 26, 2008 at 9:08 am(36) Ned Wicker says:
When I read your story I thought about recommending that you go to an ER and tell them your story and then they SHOULD admit you for treatment. But then I realized that our treatment and health care system are so money-based that they would only treat you in the ER if you have overdosed; you have to be an extreme case otherwise you can't get treatment. You might try calling in-patient facilities or half-way houses in your area that are funded by the county or the state, they often look for patients so that they can continue their funding. Good Luck!
- August 1, 2008 at 12:30 pm(37) Chantale Newell says:
I'm lost…I've been drinkin since i was 13 i'm 27 now and addicted to opiate as well as an alcoholic…i need hepl not just a one month treatment something that's out in the boones and lasts a couple of months or more,that does'nt cost a whole or anything at all…anyone out there got some answers?
- August 11, 2008 at 2:13 pm(38) Katiemommy says:
My name is Katie, I'm 23 and I have a 22 month old daughter. I have been struggling with a dependence to oxys for the past couple of years and have now been clean for 109 days with the help of suboxine treatment and drug counseling. I am now looking for AA meetings since NA meetings are too far away but there are a few different ones in my area (i.e. Big Book, 12 Step and Speaker meetings) just wondering if someone could fill me in on the difference between them, if theres anything I need to bring to any of the meetings and which meetings worked for you. Thanks for your time ladies and gents.
- August 22, 2008 at 9:21 am(39) newlife47 says:
I too became addicted to Cocaine and had the craving daily. I was a single mom raising 3 children. When they got older, I realized I no longer wanted to waste the day and night being high. So , I moved 40 miles away, dated and married a man who does not do cocaine. So greatful. I would of probably been dead already, if I still continued to use
- August 27, 2008 at 10:29 pm(40) otrpu says:
My story. 64 years old, drank too much beer most my life. Trouble in high school, college, and the service. Continued heavy drinking most my life, (close to a case a night, alone, at home, by myself). . .at 49 I had a heart attack, weighed 292 lbs then. After my angioplasty doc told me if I didn't quit drinkin I wouldn't be around in a year. I quit. 15 years later, new doc is sending me for a stress test, noticed different peaks on the EKG from my last one. Well, I guess it's been 15 years. Now weighing 188 lbs. . .hope I don't croak taking the test. I walk at work, 22 minutes every hour, walking around a building, graveyard shift. Don't know how much exercise it is, but it keeps me awake. Days off I walk a mile lake with wifey. If I could quit smoking I might live to a hunnert. Wish me luck.
- September 5, 2008 at 11:15 pm(41) R. says:
My 33 year-old-daughter has been drinking and driving with my 3 grand-children in the car. I am at a lose of what to do. I am just heart broken about her behavior and what the outcome could be if she continues to do this.
- September 6, 2008 at 10:41 am(42) Amy says:
You need to get your grandchild out of that home, that may help your daughter to wake up.
Either way your grandchild will be safe.
- September 8, 2008 at 2:56 pm(43) Diane says:
Hi all, I am 56 years old. I went back and forth thru drinking, drank, didn't, did, didn't, married, had kids, didn't drink, did. I just want to let you know, sober is good, sober is so much better than drunk…if you are young, try to control it now, easier said than done, I know. Just so you know, I am a smart, educated, should know better, 56 year old woman…How goofy is it that at my age I should have a crisis, with alcohol, dumb, dumb….Guilt, shame, regret…All of the things you can afford to have when you are young, not when you are my age…First of all, you will bounce back much easier, if I get hung over, it lasts much longer..so, young sweeties, you can do it, be careful, be strong…don't get crazy…get help while you can…don't be like me…
- September 14, 2008 at 6:40 am(44) Madison says:
Hi, Its happening all over world who are stuck in Alcohol. I think the better way to re leave from this addiction, that change your routine program with Spiritual matter. No doubt anyone can leave from any kind of addiction.
Clinical Depression
- September 15, 2008 at 8:30 am(45) SP says:
I come to this site as a mother of a 23yr.old son. Like most mothers, I adore him! I see and believe in him more than he believes in himself. I KNOW the incredible possibilites of what he is capable of for an awesome future! But this is 'my' dream and 'my' vision. He is a needle user and has been now for last few years. I have watched him go from this talented, kind spirited young man to the slave of drugs! I also played my part as an enabler in every way. I still struggle when I am around him. I cannot tell all of you how horrifying it is to set back and feel completly hopeless and powerless and contemplate having to bury your son before you as a mother.It is NOT natural and against all of God's plans. Right now I am praying that instead of jail or prison that my son will choose to enter this faciltiy. He has been to 3 others in the past. He does good then goes back when back out on the streets. This time I am letting go and allowing God to lead him! My son will make that choice for himself like ALL of us have to.
I recently heard this statement and found it quite provoking and SO true because I have been there in my past; Your 'worst' day with Jesus will be BY FAR BETTER than your 'best' day without him! For those of you whom think this is ALL about religion or all cheesy like I can tell you this my friends. I have been on both sides of the fence myself. This couldn't be a more true statement. This is NOT at all about religion! Its about God's love for you and how HE WILL walk with you thru everything IF you continue to seek Him and do your part!!! If your trying to live your life without Him you are 'doomed'! It just doesn't and won't ever work! God will take you in when you just cry out and keep perservering! YOU are here for God's purposes and His purpose only!
I only pray that any of you will 'choose' life over what you have now! It is possible!
Take care and know He cares!
Loving mom
- October 4, 2008 at 7:36 am(46) Sober says:
It was great problem, but now I'm 25 years old, I gave up drinking
- October 15, 2008 at 8:27 pm(47) jamesia says:
once i was drivin n i saw a lady acting so stupid and foolish wit herself. she had just hit her head on the door and she start acting like dat. she was running around the gas station screaming "i need help" "help me" and she just keep running and there was a lady who said u want a dollar and she said leave me da f*** alone. she took off her shirt and a man picked her up and said stop acting like this woman u no u dont want the police to lock up for smoking crack so u need to stop and she stoped alright i am 11 and i really did see that stuff.
- October 19, 2008 at 10:41 am(48) luckie says:
I'm a 56yr old recovering alcoholic .I have been sober for 12 yrs.But it wasn't easy I had to listen to people who were just like me .People who knew what I was going through. People who knew the pain the confusion the fears and the constent feeling of impending doom.I can' say I got it the first time.It took me years.Some are sicker than others.HA! HA! But I got it fianaly.I found out if I don't take the first drink I don't have to worry about the rest.I like myself today.The AA program works if you work it.but you've got to want it.you've got to want to stay sober more than you want to get drunk.There is help out ther,but you've got to take the first step,admitt you have a problem ask for help and go to any length to get it.
- November 6, 2008 at 6:23 pm(49) fisherman says:
I'm 25 and i been using meth,marajana, alcohol since 18 to 23 i been clean for about 2 year until today. I meet with some old friends and it happened agin, shoot i hate myself becuse i been real good in college wrok until today. Right now, i cant even get the work done my mind is just spining, and the work is due monday. Do anyone any advise? I want to get on right path agian or is it to late.HOw do i stay on a road that focuses on the right things when everyone i run in to use drugs.
- November 9, 2008 at 7:09 pm(50) LisaF says:
Don't give up! Slips can be a normal part of recovery. Go back to what you were doing for the two years you stayed clean. You don't have to go back there! Also find someone to talk to. Likely you were in AA or NA…if so, go to a meeting. If not, try one. You can search for a meeting near you via http://www.aa.org or http://www.na.org.
Most importantly for now, stay away from your old friends.
- November 16, 2008 at 9:10 am(51) a..baer says:
Im an addict in recovery. I attended the layne house, back in april of 04. At the recent B.A.R.C.N.A convention in lexington. I was told by another addict that the succes rate of the layne house was zero. I said to him what about me its been over 4 years for me now . His rebuttel, we always said you were a phenom adam. My comment no there not ready mike. I was, they can ony guide. you have to have willingness,then find some grattitude …Big E you help me get my life back and for that im ever gratefull. The lane house is a better place because of you. I love my self these days. Go to N.A. meetings, conventions, functions.Today i own a computer thats crazy it would of been pawn back in the day .The layne house introduced me to a 12 step program and taught me what they were. A sponsor has been showing me what they mean over and over again. the day i finish my step work im dead. I see these days its a forever process,and thats ok im clean and happy with it. Thanks layne house your truely life savers , AS LONG AS THERE READY.MY CLEAN APRIL 4 2004 AT 1:30 pm
- November 22, 2008 at 7:49 am(52) Ttexas says:
I'm 39 and I'm sitting on the floor of my father's spare room! He is 67 and has been a heavy drinker/alcoholic for 40 years. I've been at his house for 2 days trying to talk him into going to the Hospital to detox but he is in such deial it is beyond understaning. I had to pick him up from work 2 days ago because he is so out of it most of the time that his boss told him he could not drive the company car. Then when I got to his work the office administrator was at my car before I even got out because she wanted to tell me that they don't want him coming back to work until he is better.Can you believe that!!! This senior citizen has been given this gift of time to recover & he still can't admit he needs help!!UUURRGGHH It just goes to show what a horrible thing alcohol is and that alcoholism is a serious disease. Afew prayers would be nice–I'm trying real hard not to give up on him.
- November 29, 2008 at 6:45 pm(53) Mike says:
I have suffered form alcoholism and prescription drug addiction for 15 years. Now that I am clean I have published my story is a book called Constant Cravings: One Mans True Story of His Struggle With Prescription Drug Addiction. My hope for this book is that it will help addicts and alcoholics and their families as much as writing it helped me.
- December 9, 2008 at 6:42 am(54) paul says:
To admit you have a problem and go through the AA steps is almost useless because the fundamental problem is usually not addressed of choosing what you want and who you want to be.
If you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to change your life (who you are and the difference you make) and never crave drugs or abuse alcohol again (not even be tempted by it or feel you need to live one day at a time) then you have to choose and define what you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want.
Choose what you want for yourself.
Choose your value: Define who you want be.
Choose your meaning: Define what difference you what to make.
Fully accept that you remain responsible for your actions and decisions (even though you have excellent excuses and may have been abused by others)
Fully accept that you are the architect of your own destiny (even though it sometimes does not feel like it)
You must drive your conscious mind to reprogram your subconscious mind by constantly reminding yourself everyday of what you want and that you need to change to that exciting person you have defined to achieve it. Once you do this your conscious mind will then change your subconscious mind programming and ultimately change what you like, love and what makes you happy. You will then feel motivated to live an honorable, meaningful and loving life without the need to take drugs or abuse alcohol.
Most problems/addictions can be traced back to ones childhood where one was powerless, dependant and immature. When ones primary need of love, acceptance and safety etc. was deprived of, one usually made inappropriate decisions and choices which later resulted in drugs or alcohol abuse as an outlet for this frustration and anger. To address this one has to address the fact that in spite of the fact that you are powerless you can still be the person you want to be and achieve your dreams.
All of this starts with the notion – that if you do not love yourself how you can expect others to do so.
Good luck be a somebody, make a difference and earn respect love and happiness!
- December 17, 2008 at 2:46 pm(55) alaina says:
i'm trying to get help and get into the n/a rooms better to go to meeting in peson .i live in the country ,to long to get into town .i believe in the program i had 5 years but fell off love to get bck on .i hope someone heres me . thank u
- January 6, 2009 at 11:14 am(56) Lisa says:
I am absolutely horrified!! THE RECOMMENDATION IS: IF YOUR GOING TO HAVE CHILDREN DON'T DRINK PERIOD!!!! BEFORE PREGNANCY, DURING PREGNANCY OR AFTER PREGNANCY IF BREAST FEEDING!!! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT A TERRATOGEN IS???? How dangerous all of this is, especially with the media. All the misconceptions from the media and the manufacturers.-
- January 6, 2009 at 11:19 am(57) Lisa says:
Sorry, wrong spot for this comment. I am a recovering addict with 4 1/2 years clean. You will only get clean and sober if you have had enough. I had enough and with NA I am clean. Took several rodeos though to finally make it. Good luck all.
- January 13, 2009 at 6:12 pm(58) janis says:
I am a 40 year old female that ahs struggled with addiction for many years, Drugs and alcohol have destroyed a big part of my life. I am clean and sober now but have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I am curious if there is a link between this disorder and the many years I spent doing cocaine and drinking alcohol.
Tx Janis
- January 14, 2009 at 12:51 pm(59) Tanya says:
I myself, like many others had let myself get into drugs. Crack was the worst drug and the hardest drug to get off of. I wrote this little poem like paragragh after being off crack. It was my thought and something I used to keep in mind the I seen things.
Drugs the turn your hole life around/
They turn you into something(someone)
your not/Knowing what you are doing/
But yet not/So confused/But yet reality
So many thoughts go through your head/
Past,Drugs,Future/You always feel spaced
out/Wondering why? or even how you started
them/Not knowing when you'll stop/Or even
how/Not the easiest thing to admit/what
you have done/Nor the easiest thing to
get off of/Your heart is crying out for
help for you/Yet the drugs are making
your body beg for more/Making it harder
and fighting with yourself/You need to know this is not the way to go in life/No
matter who you are/You deserve better/For
you,your family and friends/Its all mind
matter and thinking positive/With the
right supports/and you wanting to help
yourself/You can fight the drug(the DEVIL)
- January 25, 2009 at 1:04 pm(60) jen says:
In every problems that we have, there are solutions readily available, but the best solution there is, is to ask for God's help.. Just pray to God to help you turn your life around, invite Him in your life, and you'll see the difference.. Trust me..
- February 4, 2009 at 9:13 pm(61) Troy says:
I can admit that I have a problem with alcohol but don't know where to go for help.
- February 16, 2009 at 1:23 pm(62) steve says:
I just wanted to say that my late parents were alcoholics. I think I have gone through periods of hating alcohol and to me it is the most destructive drug around. However, I do still enjoy drinking myself. However, I do think always have a part of me that always has to be in control.
- February 16, 2009 at 1:32 pm(63) steve says:
I also wanted to add that I am still struggling emotionally and psychologically with my feelings and am trying to process stuff I've suppressed, and just a lack of confidence in pushing my life forward. I tried to help my mother through her alcoholism.
- March 13, 2009 at 2:40 pm(64) Laura Pope says:
I don't have a drug or alcohol problem. However, I sympathize with all you who do have one. Best of luck. ~Laura
- March 15, 2009 at 9:42 pm(65) Danielle says:
I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict and have almost 9 months sober. When I went into rehab, I thought "if I can just kick the hapbit, everything will be fine and I can drink normally" That wasn't the case. I learned about how screwed up my thinking was (and still is). I thought too much about everything and anything. I work the steps and so many amazing things have happened and still are happening. Anyone can get sober and stay sober if that person is ready to do whatever it takes. Sometimes people just aren't ready and need to experience more suffering and misery to reach the point where they are willing to do whatever it takes to be sober. That's how it was for me atleast.
- March 23, 2009 at 1:49 pm(66) Alcoholism says:
Im having a hard time to detect signs that in fact became a problem. Thanks for giving me this quick online assessment test which helps me a lot to determine if my drinking habits really put me at risk of alcohol abuse.
- March 27, 2009 at 12:50 pm(67) jhil; says:
you need to close your legs! and asz cheeks.simple dont do drugs alone or with me;]
- April 18, 2009 at 1:19 am(68) Joe Kearney says:
I keep getting "No message to post" when I type a reply on the forum and hit Post Message. Now I can't communicate with my AA friends. Is there a fix?
- May 1, 2009 at 3:09 pm(69) Sheila Joyce Gibbs says:
I never thought of myself as an Alcoholic, as it hadn't caused any drunkeness or Motor Vehicle accidents, had a good career & was always employed. But then…..reality hit, & my health took one drastic steep plunge, solely because of it.
And its amazing how quickly you can dump drinking, when your entire life is 95% destroyed !
We desperately need health warning labels on all liquor containers. Its too late to save us old sods, but what about our youth ???
- May 15, 2009 at 11:48 am(70) Jill says:
Thank you so much for posting this. I am researching this topic for a private matter and this is very helpful and informative.
- May 15, 2009 at 11:56 am(71) Tony says:
Thank you so much for posting this. I am researching this topic for a private matter and this is very helpful and informative.
- June 20, 2009 at 3:40 pm(72) loosely says:
Drugs and alcohol is wors for the others around you..
- July 5, 2009 at 8:06 pm(73) Lilaclily says:
I have found that simple things can make such a difference.
For example, I am not a cook at all. It was simpler for me to offer someone a beer than cook.
However, I went to a friend of mines house that does not drink anymore and looks awesome.
She fixed me a smoothie in 4 minutes. What a revelation!
It was so delicious, i actually did not want to drink that day when I was at her house.
There are numerous websites that show how to do it. It is so simple.
allrecepies.com is my favorite because you can change the recipe depending on how many people you are doing it for.
I like fresh strawberries, bananas etc. versus frozen because it tastes so much better. I say to my self yes fruit can be expensive, but i am saving on alcohol and beauty cremes and diets.
I feel great, look thinner and the energy is a kick!!!
- July 5, 2009 at 8:19 pm(74) Lilaclily says:
My best advice is to keep it simple
A couple of bananas , strawberry, ice and plain yogurst is awesome.
- July 7, 2009 at 6:31 am(75) Pez says:
The foodie thing is right on target.
I had been drinking in the evening basically every day for the past 30 years, but started drinking essentially 24 hours a day the past 3 years. I have been to psychotherapists, a psychiatric nurse, a psychiatrist (who eventually "fired" me because he thought I was untreatable), self-help groups, medical detox, AA, and a psych ward. None worked at all and actually made things worse.
It got so bad that I vomited nearly every day and often spent the whole day in bed. I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired (as well as totally fed up with the whole psych industry – although it is great help to some people) and quit cold turkey.
The first few days I could hardly get out of bed (my husband brought me food to my bed). For the next week, I had visual and acoustic hallucinations. But now I am in Day 30 of no alcohol at all – and it is a trip unto itself – being sober. Everything seems so alive and vibrant (although it was awfully intense for the first couple of weeks that I cried constantly). (My GP has been tracking me carefully with my many attempts to conquer alcoholism. – you are not supposed to quit cold turkey without medical consultation).
Back to the original subject – now that I have my senses back – food tastes so much better. I didn't know I could be such a fantastic cook when I want to be! Now I just have to be careful to not gain weight… (but not drinking a bottle of vodka a day should be in the right direction)
Best wishes and good luck!
- July 30, 2009 at 12:29 am(76) kelly says:
after my 40th drunk in pubic and ?s arrest
I finally became willing to let other people run my life for a while,there is a solution,Thank God for the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous and sober living by the sea.
- August 3, 2009 at 11:47 pm(77) firemanjohn says:
all your comments remind me of the struggles i watch the folks in my sober house go through. they come from rehabs who offer no alternatives except for aa & na, after treatment
even though our long term success rates are double those of aa; they are still just 10%
despite the claims of aa that they not a religious program; that is not true…the are just non-denominational. ever ask why God is mentioned in 6 of the 12 steps, and only twice in the 10 commandments?
there is no one size fits all treatment for addiction. i often hear my sobriety is based on the maintenance of my spiritual condition…
but what about my mental and emotional states
without those elements in balance, i have no ability
to establish a spiritual connection.
the 12 steps fall short of providing healthy recovery…ok old timers now it's time to spout,
"it works if you work it"; very true IF you are one of the 5% it does help.
- September 4, 2009 at 10:03 am(78) V says:
I just had a baby three months ago and have a 1 year old as well. Every time I 'have a glass of wine' it turns into multiple bottles and I black out. It happened last night and I fell and have a bruise on my head and a busted lip. Luckily my husband was here to take care of the kids but I am very worried about my behavior. I have an alcoholic mom and brother and it's a problem in my family history. My mom is sober and I am so worried that I need to stop drinking completely. I would be mortified of my babies ever saw me as drunk as I was last night. Are there online meetings I can join?
- September 4, 2009 at 12:26 pm(79) Some one who cares says:
I have a friend that is very depressed and he drinks all the time. Last night he told me that he would be better off just killing himself. I told him to think about who cares about him. How do I show him that I care and that I want him to quit without pushing him away. We were engaged and broke off the wedding. What do I do? What do I say?
- September 26, 2009 at 6:16 pm(80) elyssa says:
I am 60 years old and have been on opiates since the 70s.Then I wrecked and broke L 1 bone and compressed 3 disc.That allowed me pain pills until I could not live without them.I also could not live in the moment with my fly.I remember wrapping my legs in bandages every night and the drawing was awful.Somehow my flamily stood by, but I never did leave my husband and stayed true to him.I had a fly.That helped me.They did not like to see me suffer plus I tryed chemical treatments but did not like being away from home.Then in 2005 I found methadone and could not beleive I could be so happy as long as I stayed true to myself and took it correct.Now, I could stay in the moment but if you do not need this I do not want anybody to think its for any reason but getting older and wanting my last days to be at home with my fly.and Jesus whom is truly an awesome Jesus.He never left me, not even when they put me in jail when I was seen with the wrong person.She was being watched,but I gave her a ride and was guilty for being in the right place at the wrong time.With the wrong people.SET UP.Maybe,I think God had to do this for me to know Him.He had other plans for me and my fly.Thank God!!
- September 28, 2009 at 1:01 am(81) kofeelite says:
After 20 years of hard drinking, tomorrow I will have one week of sobriety. A thousand people could have spoken to me about my problem but it took a complete stranger (an alcoholic himself) to wake me up. I'm amazed at my own resolve to take my life back, I didn't think I could ever stop drinking whiskey literally night and day. I was well acquainted with nausea and the shakes, the worst right now is insomnia and an allover mental and physical itchiness. I don't know how long these symptoms will last but I will deal with them. It's painful to think how much I've pissed away in my last 20 years but reading your stories gives me hope that better things will come with sobriety. I know the man who spoke to me traveled all the way up the east coast for a different purpose but I believe God put His finger on him and brought him to me. The day after my awakening, I received an e-mail from an old friend I hadn't spoken to in eight years. He is a born-again Christian so he will be great support. Another friend, who I just got back in touch with after years, had her dad pass away over the weekend. This caused me to get in touch with my estranged sister (she and the woman were friends as kids). We attended the wake together and decided to go out for coffee (!) after. She confided in me how crappy her life was and I did likewise-we cried together! Tomorrow night she is coming to take me to an AA meeting. God really does work in mysterious ways!
I am not trying to quit drinking, I am doing it-one day at a time, one hour, one minute at a time but I'm DOING it.
Bless you all
- October 22, 2009 at 11:28 am(82) Stinky81 says:
Claims of historical or religious ties of Jews with Palestine are incompatible with the facts of history and the true conception of what constitutes statehood. ,
- October 24, 2009 at 8:38 am(83) carl says:
I have not had a drink for 2 months now. I was drinking day and night non-stop. Binge drinking – one drink and then I couldn't stop until the money ran out. 5 litres wine a day was easy.
I took the bull by the horns and went cold turkey – not easy but now I simply don't need a drink!
- November 9, 2009 at 1:52 pm(84) Maggie says:
Falling apart. I just cannot seem to stop. Want to so badly. Wonderful husband, great kids. No reason to continue this path. I hate myself so much. No idea where to get help. Afraid to go to a meeting. I just wish there was a way. I wait for everyone to go to bed and then it starts. Used to be the weekends no its every day. I want to stop but I fear I will get the urge later this evening….
- November 12, 2009 at 6:17 am(85) akil says:
i star drink last 2 years, its edit to me' i drunk daily ,when i dont,, take one day i cant sleep that day,give me suggestions ples
- November 17, 2009 at 11:12 am(86) candace says:
hi my name is candace and i just wanna tell all you out there who will read this that if you set your mind to it you can do anything. just hang in there and keep trying your best! i know that once someone really wnats something they can get over it completely. my sister is 23 years old and she smoked meth from the time sahe was 13 to the time she was 20. she got busted and was sent to federal prison for a year and one day…two tears after she was busted. she cleaned up those two years and she spent her time in prison she is now in the halfway house and i am so proud of her because in all this time she has not took one hit! so if she can do it i know you can so good luck and keep up all your hard work:)
- December 19, 2009 at 1:38 am(87) Dick B. says:
Fireman John put his finger on an important element applicable to today's recovery pie counter. By offering the afflicted a higher power that can be a lightbulb or a tree; by offering them the option that their real problem is not-god-ness; by offering them a "spiritual but not religious" program; by telling them they must read only "Conference-approved" literature; by telling them they are dually addicted and have other issues to address, the recovery arena often offers every option but the Original A.A. program. In Akron, in 1935, the Christian fellowship had a simple 5 point program. There were no Steps, no Traditions, no "Conference-approved" books, no drunkalogs, and not even meetings as we now know them. The five points were: (1) Abstaining for good. (2) Surrendering to God and accepting Jesus Christ as Lord. (3) Eliminating sinful conduct. (4) Growing in fellowship through Bible study, prayer meetings, seeking God's guidance, and reading religious literature. (5) Helping others get straightened out by the same means. See Real Twelve Step Fellowship History and When Early AAs Were Cured and Why http://www.dickb.com/titles.shtml. In other words, they were given the option of choosing to let God help them get well. Those who so chose achieved a documented 75% success rate in the Original, early Akron program of Akron Number One.
- December 19, 2009 at 1:45 pm(88) John Sanford says:
I've seen the totally un-scientific AA term, "dry drunk" used by this Blog's owner. There is no such thing. The only AA-inspired definition is someone who has long since quit drinking, but has not yet had a "spiritual re-awakening," or exhibits "drunk-like" behaviour, although these behaviours aren't specified. It also is damaging and utterly un-necessary criticism of sober persons.
This just amounts to group-think criticism of someone who doesn't pray to invisible beings in order to be with AA. I got sober without AA, (although I've been to forty or more of your meetings) just like millions of others who do, and haven't drunk for thirteen years. New job, new woman, new life, new house…so far things are cool. The constant criticism of others by AA who find their own way is wrong and denies folks the right to do things their own way. There IS no such thing as "dry drunk", and never will be. It has no medical meaning, like the spurious "disease" theory of drinking, what is actually just "chemical dependency." The world of recovery MUST break the stranglehold AA has on this process.
- January 8, 2010 at 1:24 am(89) Tall Karen says:
What a great source of recovery information!
All I know is that when I started drinking, I couldn't control how much I would drink…and when I desperately wanted to stop, I couldn't do it. I was also scared to death to go to an AA meeting.
That desperation to stop drinking finally made me willing to crawl into a meeting. I found hope and a solution in AA that worked for me and I have seen it work for many others. I was offered a design for living that has changed my entire life. If it worked for a hopeless drunk like me, it can work for anyone who is willing to ask for help.
You're not alone. There is a solution!
- April 1, 2010 at 2:55 am(90) Jason says:
I recently have realized I have a severe drinking problem. I drink EVERYDAY. I just recently got my wife and kids back. I need help to exorcise this demon before it is too late.
- May 16, 2010 at 5:19 pm(91) Ann says:
I live with a family of a father who's a drug addict that pops pills and my mother and two brothers who are drunks. Screwed up family that continues to go down hill everyday. I've had enough.
- June 7, 2010 at 5:03 pm(92) Henry Leland says:
In the end all addictions can be placed solely and completely at the feet of the addicts themselves. A person has the choice whether to pick up the bottle or not and when the addiction takes place suddenly the excuses will start and the addict will absolve themselves of any responsibility.
- July 19, 2010 at 8:12 am(93) karen says:
I am a 43 yr old woman, and ive been drinking stupidly for 3 yrs, im in very poor health now because of it, i started drinking when had problems with oldest daughter, know its not the solution but keep doing it, now ive lost my husband, and both daughters have left home, just wish i could stop and get back the way i was few yrs ago, im too proud to ask for help within family although know i'd get it.
- July 19, 2010 at 9:49 am(94) Judy says:
my good friend is an alcoholic I am trying to help him but I am at a loss. I won't take him to go buy it I won't let him drink in my house or in my vehicle and when I am at his house I leave when he starts drinking. If he calls and he has been drinking I won't talk to him. He has no drivers license because of his drinking, he has been in jail for a year and is also on parole all because of his drinking. His daughter won't come and see him because he sits and gets drunk when she is here. He drinks anywhere from 18 to 20 beers a night. He is not physically abusive but is verbally abusive to people when he drinks. He has no job because in Illinois 3 DUI's is a felony so he has no job and we live in a small community and no one wants to hire someone with his problem. He finds so many excuses just so he can justify his drinking. He keeps promising he is going to stop but her just can't. How do I get him help he has no money and no insurance and is in so deep he just can't stop. Help me please.
- July 24, 2010 at 9:07 pm(95) Torie says:
My mom choses the booze over me.
I am almost 14 years old and I confronted my mom of her drinking addiction because it has gotten really bad. Then she told me in her own words that she choses the booze over me and that I need to find another place to stay. I'm going to go stay with my cousin for awhile but I don't know how to get my mom to see that what she's doing is breaking this family apart because same thing happend to my aunts. I'm tired of it and I want her to atleast cut down. Anyone have any idea how I can get through to her?
- September 22, 2010 at 4:14 pm(96) rhi: says:
my mam is exactly the same she was drinkin every nite when i lived with her i used 2 ask her 2 stop she wouldnt she wouldnt ..her an her partner fightin all the time ..i went 2 live with my grandperants wen i was 13 …im now 24 have 2 wonderfull children..but my mam is still an alcholic she has been 2 rehab she as moved away she has even got married 2 a nice man who is not an alcholic..she has been in an out of hospital 4 the passed 2 years the dockters dont now how she is still with us …there is nothin any 1 can do its up 2 them 2 make a decision they the ones that got 2 stick to it ..i love my mam so much i just wish she would wise up an be yuh for the rest of her family its us who gets hurt not them when they drunk the dont see wat they r doin 2 other people !!
- January 31, 2011 at 7:39 pm(97) Dylan says:
I am 18 years old and a college student…I am very social but i feel like i have an alcohol problem but i feel like im too young to already have an issue like this
- February 16, 2011 at 4:53 am(98) Kim says:
So I'm a 22 ur old girl and my partner is 43 yrs old- I've been on and off with drugs for 5 years and drinking for 7 years and my partner been doing both for over 18 years now. One day I did drugs for 33 hours straight, I had signs of bleeding noses, anxiety, chest pains feels like heart attacks and having signs of heart attacks and when my bf found out I did to much when I saw him cry bc he didn't want me to be like him so I quit right there and then and I'll be 4 months clean. But I'm trying to get my bf help bc some users can't do it on their own and need professional help. But I am glad I haven't relapsed yet and still going strong
- March 5, 2011 at 4:01 pm(99) kavita gupta says:
hi i am kavita my brother has got so much addicted to drugs that he even hit my mum ..al he want is money,my dad died coz of him what shall we do pls help me..he jst want to kill us .
- March 8, 2011 at 5:36 am(100) smiley74spud says:
He loves to drink and he does pills now he wants to kill himself said that he has planned this now for 2yrs. That is how old his son is now. Help me!
He said that his son is better off without him. He doesnt want his son doing the same as he is. He seems to want to stop the drinking and doing pills. Help he wants to KILL HIMSELF and i dont know what to do for him and more weve been together almost 6yrs he has always drank but when he found out that he was going to be a dad he has went downhill all the way. Ive have always been there for him no matter what. He has been to rehab 2x 1 time before I met him. To me rehab is just away to run away from life UNLESS YOU REAL WHAT TO STOP THE DRINKIN AND DRUGS. When you are there you dont have to take care of anything. You need to have the power to say its ENOUGH and ask for help. What do i do when they are giving up? not TO fight there problems and think it would be better if they are gone for good. He is a smart, and a great person. Has had a lot happen in a few yrs. I cant not do anything, but something must be done God has more for him in life. But he doesnt believe him nether, so what can i do to make him SEE thats not the way to go. Please help him. He needs lots of Prayers. And for those that have just started to drink/drugs or both. Stop for you self and for others too. It may be FUN at the time but just read and LOOK at what happens. It will take you away from your friends and family it Will destroy you who you are. PRAY AND HOPE! THANK YOU FOR READING MY CRY FOR SOMEONE I LOVE. AND HOPE THAT THIS WILL HELP SOMEONE ELSE.
- April 7, 2011 at 10:09 am(101) Milen says:
Hi everyone,
I also look for some help. Tried to find some useful info on the Net. There are a lot of websites but nothing specialized and for free. Here found one, which has a lot of stuff about our problem and hopefully will develop in the desired why, to meet and help people with our problem. http://www.exalcoholic.com
- April 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm(102) Bottom says:
I need some advice on what to do from now untill friday. Thats when i go to speak to someone about how i am feeling. Im in a bad place because im addicted to cocaine and i am craving it right now. And i dont want to take it.
- June 12, 2011 at 7:48 pm(103) walt goode says:
well I finally did it,I got married about 6 years ago,ever since not a month goes by that I don't get drunk for some reason or another.I used to drink every day but when I got married I thought my family would be enough to quit.anyway I finally decided to quit making excuses and hoped my problem went
away.well now I have a dwi and scared to death that it will happen again.the night in question seemed like a nightmare.I don't even understand where I got the idea to drink.all I know is if i didn't give drinking a second thought then.how do I stop it the next time.
creative blackfoot
- June 15, 2011 at 12:26 pm(104) Ned Wicker says:
Recent studies have shown that 1 in ten people who use alcohol will become dependent on it. What's interesting to me is how much time we all spend trying to decide if a person has a problem with drinking when we all know that they do.
The husband of a friend of mine drinks everyday and more on weekends. His father is an alcoholic and is very ill with liver disease.
My friend isn't sure her husband has a problem.
REALLY?? He drinks at the bar everyday and we're not sure he has a problem? So sad, such denial.
- August 24, 2011 at 5:20 am(105) benzo fury sample says:
I am not very excellent with English but I get hold this real easygoing to interpret .
- September 8, 2011 at 7:47 pm(106) trevor says:
im so lost i have a promblem but try to tell myself i dont please help me what do i do im at rock bottom help me please please
- December 18, 2011 at 2:46 pm(107) Kona says:
AA is working for me, I have 6 yrs clean & on day 9 (while I was white knuckling it and crying), someone said go to AA, it is going to be hard enough to do on your own. At AA I feel part of a group of people working on themselves, learning how to deal w/ life's problems in other ways besides drugs or booze
- December 19, 2011 at 5:01 pm(108) sprayed and shamed says:
alcoholism says:
i will put you scared in a bedroom and beat your mother about. i will leave you homeless not a worry not a doubt.
i will lead to drugs yep gangs as well later on you ll steal rob and end up in jail. i will argue with you that i am ok but as you say i am ok i will prove your not.
- January 31, 2012 at 1:53 am(109) Kevin says:
Im almost 27 and have recently accepted that Im an alcoholic. Ive been drinking heavily since i was 16. I want to change my life around as Ive alienated all my friends and family and have only surrounded myself with enablers. Ive been trying to find a non court appointed AA meeting source as Ive managed to never have legal troubles from my drinking, but Im not a religious man and have had no luck finding an AA meeting place in my area that allowes non offenders. any help out there in finding a place for me?
- February 3, 2012 at 6:52 pm(110) dawn says:
well i'm a drug addict big time. i do atleast 15 vicodins and 15 xanax a day. i have had 7 seizures in 5 years and still can't stop.i have been married to someone who puts up with it but its killing me. i treat him and everyone that loves me horrible. i was sober for 2 months about 2 years ago.i remeber how clear i could think,and how nice everything felt. i am seeing an addiction specialist who has me on suboxene which that gets me high so i take all of them by the 7th day.dont know how to stop.if seizures didnt scare me what will?
i am going to keep reading more.i dont want to go away,it would be a waste of money when you want to stop but the drug wont let you.its like the only way out is suicide. these pill pushing doctors are to blame.i had one dr start to refuse me the quanity i wanted and said we have to taper off now.i stopped going to him and found another doctor,who wrote out the script without any blood work background check, nothing.. oh well good luck to everyone
- February 14, 2012 at 10:45 pm(111) Kristen C. says:
Reading all of your comments have made me decide…..that I need to leave a comment on here. I have come from a very long line of drunks….in my life. I have come from a long line of dead beats…..in my life. I too, have been a mother at 18, and was faced with the decision to continue school…or not. I chose to continue. Maybe will power, maybe not. I don't know. I've always thought that I was a person with a whole lot of will-power, but I am coming to belive that i do not have as much as i thought I had. I have been married for 5 years to the love of my life, the person i thought I would be with for the rest of my life, the man i WANT to be with for the rest of my life, however I have recently decided to have an affair on him…for what friggn reason IDK. It makes no sense. He is the BEST father of our children….the best husband……but yet maybe its that I don't feel the sexual desire towards him that I do this other man. I hate this…i want to feel the same way i do about this "other" man that I do about my husband…..so anyways…where this story is going….I have been abusing alchohol like CRAZY…..I get drunk every night. And I mean every night. i tell myself that Im not going to drink…and then i find myself doing the exact opposite. I don't understand why…..i neep help.
- April 17, 2012 at 12:02 am(112) a says:
It's so sad and depressing. My ex drank daily and it became easier to join in than to watch. So now I struggle with finding ways to handle my stress so alcohol isn't the go to answer. I'm doing better than before when we lived together. I drink much less, I'm happier, less stressed, in a much better place. He continues to drink just like before. He's told me stories and still trusts me enough to be open about it. Just the other day he showed up at 1 am after drinking. It bothers me so badly that he would drink and drive after his almost deadly car wreak about 6 years ago. He has other issues with the new girlfriend and I know as long as he drinks he won't fix them. It's unhealthy and I won't allow the kids around her anymore even when they are sober which they usually are during the day. Beginning to realize his drinking is a bigger part of that problem than just the girlfriend. As long as he drinks to run from the problem then he's busy avoiding it. You can't face somthing head on and fix it when you try to avoid it each night. And yet the problem will ask as his reason to drink. It's a vicous cycle. I can't help b/c of my own struggle. I struggle but I can see clearly what I'm fighting for. Now of course he's coming to me as a way to avoid his problems with her. I don't want him back b/c it wouldn't be healthy for either of us given the situation. How do I tell him I don't need him anymore? How do I cut him off to protect myself and the kids? How do I do it without giving him one more thing to run from? without giving him one more reason to drink? How do you motivate someone? how do you help them see the way out so just maybe they'll choose it? It's just so sad. I worry about the kids. How do they see this? Will this pain cause them to turn to drinking as a relief when they are older? Apparantly DARE hasn't helped many stay off drugs. When will we find a way to help the kids so they don't end up here?
- May 29, 2012 at 6:19 pm(113) LifeBeggins says:
Is there anyone out there who would like to embark on a challenge with me to give up alcohol for six months (starting tomorrow 30th May '12? I have tried and failed so many times over the past year to quit with a maximum of 28 days off but realise I cannot do it alone and do not want to go to another AAmtg as it is the staying off and personal growth I need to work on, not the self pity of having some disease. I have set 6 months as a summer term to Oct rather than 1 yr which seems too far or 1 month which is when I became complacent last time. Anyway it starts tomorrow with the withdrawal symptoms that get worse each time I try to stop. I just need my life back so here goes…
- July 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm(114) have questions says:
My boyfriend died this last April and I just found out that it was from a heroin overdose. When he died I had so many questions, I found out that he was looking for heroin so I knew it could be a possibilty that he found some. Actualy he was the type of person who got what he wanted so I was more than afraid. I was very upset! Upset that I didn't know he was using. I'm sure there were signs, I just don't know what they were. It's killing me! Why? I've looked but have had no luck in finding out what some one acts like when their using. I need to know as much as I can so that I can heal. This is the help that I need. Please help!
- July 30, 2012 at 8:13 pm(115) ella says:
Hi my namnge is ella Im 51 years old. and Im so tired of drinking .and druging I feel like am I ever going tp get this or die tryin. Ive been doing this since the age 12 im tired i know it works. wat ia wrong with me somebody PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!
- October 16, 2012 at 11:05 am(116) Jillian Galloway says:
Cannabis is safer than coffee but by classifying it in Schedule I of the CSA with heroin, the federal government sends the message that heroin and pot are equally harmful. No wonder so many people get harmed by drugs!!
Heroin, alcohol, meth and tobacco are all significantly more harmful and more addictive than cannabis. *This* is what our government should be teaching our children!! This one piece of information could literally save their lives.
"Just say no" implies that all drugs are equally harmful and this is not only inaccurate but it denies drug users the most effective tool of them all – the opportunity to switch to the safest, least addictive drug on the planet!
- October 21, 2012 at 3:12 am(117) dont make disition about some one says:
now guy u saying about alcohol and drugs ok i respect that this is a Public ok i can blame you Guys that ur opinion but Dont blame me Eather ok i have my own Opinion too
- October 30, 2012 at 12:21 am(118) Bryan says:
I was adopted when I was 6 months old from an alcoholic who also abused a number of drugs by two hard working christian people. To this day i know only minimal about my mother by birth. Nothing about my father. Today I am 28 and raising a 3 year old by myself.
Everytime I get paid I start. It normally starts with just a six pack or two but turns into a whole lot more. Usually at least a few cases. My son has everything he needs: diapers, pull-ups, food, clothing, toys, and books. It scares the living hell out of me that I am going to end up, or am already there, like my birth mother. I don't want to lose my son. I have been evicted on several occasions due to lack of rent, spent on alcohol. Even though I know this, I can't give it up…I've tried, and tried, and tried. I've even broken down and attended AA meetings. No good. Please help!!
- November 3, 2012 at 11:21 am(119) donna says:
My finacees ex went into court and filed for indigency and recieved 2200 a month, she left him more htan 10 years ago. She moved in with her mom,pays nothing, mom bought her a 30,000 car, computer and puts her on her taxes. She was told to get an education with the temporary alimony,but did nothing. My fiancee has started drinking since the garrnishment,he has fallen,gone blind i one eye due to a fall,and he has no idea how to stop. I have tried everything, I have left, come back after he told me he would not drink again, I am beside myslef. I want to help him through this, but it is taking everything I have to do it. He never drank before,he is 60,and drink beer only when in high school. If I am not home, he will take a cab to get a bottle of wine,and drinks the wine,one afte another after another. I am beside mysefl.
- November 5, 2012 at 11:54 pm(120) amy says:
I was court commited to wrtc in 1994 or 1995 for depression and drug abuse. I was molested in the muddle of the night by a staff member so I ran away I was only 19. That is a horrible place that I would not wish upon anyone.
- November 23, 2012 at 2:02 am(121) jasper says:
I would like to find out why it is that since Alcohol and drugs are "not the issue" they are always mentioned when it is a much deeper issue that "causes" this phenomenon to occur!? This seems to be another "denial" of the "real issue" hence nothing can be resolved!
- November 27, 2012 at 3:06 pm(122) Sabrina says:
when you do drugs it just proves that you think that it's fun and that you don't care about your life.
I used to do drugs and know since i quite that my life is great and i never plan on going back
- January 9, 2013 at 10:21 pm(123) Robbie Willis says:
I'm way drunk every nite & loving it. but my wife cries. I can't stop and don't want to! Please help because I love her very much! RW
- February 10, 2013 at 7:06 pm(124) paul says:
only an addict can understand an addict
- February 24, 2013 at 9:42 am(125) Jesi says:
One is born with the disease. What happens latter on to each individual has similar threads but different in other ways. One must do an archialogical dig. Follow the steps by the letter. Get a sponsor. Understand – truly understand the nature of the disease. Lots of prayer and patience. Work as hard for sobriety as you would to get high. You will make it. God loves you and so do I.
- June 10, 2013 at 12:49 am(126) Steve R. says:
The world of alcoholism is a darkened abyss, waiting patiently to devour all those who dare to venture beyond its gates. As we listen to those cries of anguish and torment inside our troubled minds, our spirits stay troubled. Without a powerful merciful intervention, who knows what future those still lost inside must face?
Once, maybe even twice in a person's life, an opportunity may appear that can brush against that persons soul. It can alter what they were destined to become. It can leave an impression on broken hearts and injured souls. These are the Evidence, the Footprints that God leaves behind. I am one of those blessed individuals who have emerged Within God's Grace, to share His Merciful and Gracious message.
- July 24, 2013 at 4:24 pm(127) KEVIN says:
message for anna
I had your drug problem too. In short – stays in your body 72 hours. you will feel better on day five. Don't get drunk because you will weaken and
seek out the drug. Change your phone number so dealers can't get inside your head. Abandon all your friends who you use the drug with.( HEY! They are not your friends anyway. Join the gym. I have been clean for eight years and could tell you my horror stories. Another time maybe. Think back to the hobbies you enjoyed before the bad times may help- start them again. Sounds easy but its hard.
IF YOU DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING, YOU WILL KEEP GETTING WHAT YOU ARE GETTING….. Good luck x
- July 24, 2013 at 4:28 pm(128) KEVIN says:
Sorry I spelt your name wrong
- August 12, 2013 at 9:28 am(129) steven says:
after drinking hard liquor I get to a point lets call it flipping Im not as drunk and possibly blood alcohol even comes down but not able to remember anything from that point on. I know flipping isn't the proper term I'm probably blacked out. I don't look or seem drunk unless you look straight into my eyes there is a difference in them which is what I refer to as flipping. ts there more to this then just drinking, has been going on for years and recently a domestic violence and a non consensual charge that the police say I didn't seem drunk but I don't remember anything nothing. Am I blacked out can my blood alcohol actually lower when I get blacked out when answers or action be taken to prove I am blacked out
- August 15, 2013 at 12:55 pm(130) are nootropics legal says:
Of course, everyone_s biochemistry is exclusive.
Which means what may work for me, might work in another way for
- October 7, 2013 at 12:10 am(131) Nanci says:
I was addicted to 30 mg oxycodone 4 times a day I've been off them 3 months but now I find myself taking my zanaflex and Benadryl to just escape I'm 45 I feel I'm always going to be on something I really don't check my email so give a call 775-200-2700 thanks for listening
- October 23, 2013 at 3:26 pm(132) jamylah says:
hello my name is suze I have off and on tried to quit drinking. Its starting to ruin my relationship and is starting to ruin my schoolwork. No one seems to understand. I highly understand why people dislike me. My boyfriends family wants nothing to do with me including his daughter. I did not mean wrong. Very upset and depressed.
- October 23, 2013 at 3:32 pm(133) jamylah says:
I also hate being called an alcoholic. I did abuse drugs in the past and got off of them. Why cant I kick this habit!!! About to join aa don't know what else to do. People that don't drink don't understand.
- December 1, 2013 at 3:12 am(134) martha williams says:
I had a uncle who was a severe alcoholic. It led to a divorce, foreclosure, and ultimately his life. After the experience, I promised to myself and to my family that I will do everything in my power to make sure <a href="www.alcoholicsinfo.com">alcoholism</a> will not influence my life.
- December 1, 2013 at 3:18 am(135) martha williams says:
I had a uncle who was a severe alcoholic. It led to a divorce, foreclosure, and ultimately his life. After the experience, I promised to myself and to my family that I will do everything in my power to make sure alcoholism will not influence my life. More information about how to prevent alcoholism can be found here http://www.alcoholicsinfo.com . It has a first hand approach regarding to prevent alcoholism.
- February 24, 2014 at 12:53 am(136) David Norman says:
I was raised on a remote rural cattle property and firmly believed the tough, manly thing to do was drink alcohol as soon as I was old enough. It was like a rite of passage into adulthood. However, due to my naivety to the 'real' long-term consequences, I formed a habit of abusing alcohol and drifted down the path of alcohol dependence. It is the insidious nature of alcohol dependence which makes it such an easy place to end up. It starts out as social fun, which subtly becomes a habit, then before you realise it an addiction.
The sad thing is, that although the cultural pressure to drink alcohol is so strong; ending up an alcoholic is considered to be a thing of weakness and shame. So much so that a lot of people who realise they are alcohol dependent, find it hard to talk about and won't seek help. This is where I found myself and firmly believed I would suffer the consequences of my addiction until the day I die.
Fortunately, through my own research, analytical skills and personal development, I developed my own process that delivered me permanent alcohol-free results (without even the desire for alcohol anymore), all in the privacy of my own home and without public embarrassment. The book I wrote to help others 'Alcohemy' details the step-by-step process I developed. It was so successful I have now dedicated myself full time to help others become permanently alcohol-free.
- February 24, 2014 at 12:56 am(137) David Norman says:
In addittion to my comment above, I believe the education about the 'real' consequences of habitual alcohol use and abuse needs to start at a very early age. Not just from appropriate family role-modelling, also throughout school years. These are the years when the seeds of alcohol use are sown. The slogan I have on my website is 'Alcoholism is a choice… not a life sentence'. We go down the path of alcohol dependence slowly, one choice at a time, and it a choice to permanently turn it around and be alcohol-free.
- March 16, 2014 at 8:53 am(138) Angelina says:
I have gone cold turkey 3 days ago. I knew I was drinking way to much but it seemed the only way to cope. My husband said to me you are an alcoholic, I was horrified . The next morning I got up and told yes I was but no more. So I stopped. Found all these wonderful pages to read and what. Others were going through and it has helped soooo much. I haven't slept since I gave up which in. 7hrs it will be 94 hrs. I'm not tired. Keep hearing noises and music but no radio on. Have sweats headache shakes fever but I am determined to keep going. Was anxious and moody this afternoon and wanted a drink but I didn't . I am determined to keep going, will have to fall asleep eventually. I just take it hr by hr, and when the sun comes up I am happy I have come this far. I was only going to give it up for a month but after reading everyone's comments I know I can never drink again. Good luck to everyone just one day at a time.
- April 28, 2014 at 10:28 pm(139) Ricky Ward says:
Hi. I used to drink to every day but its just for a good night sleep. I only give myself sometimes a jigger, and sometimes half a liter of Jack D. It's like my body welcomes this drink as a sort of water and I love it. I crave for it every night. Am I considered alcoholic for this? I'm on a broken family, my Dad died last year, and Im an only child. Im a drug user as well. But I dont consider myself addict yet because I can control my desire for the drug. I am currently using illegal drug for 2 months now. I'm posting this because I don't have anyone to listen to me for I am alone. I want people to listen to me.
- April 29, 2014 at 12:16 am(140) Ricky Ward says:
I am thinking of making me involved in the drug treatment centers ca but still not convinced on a netizen's advice on me on other blogs that I read. But anyway, will I move forward to my life if I will enter to it? I want to have friends and family that will help me.
- May 3, 2014 at 3:30 pm(141) Klucky says:
I have an extreme drinking history with multiple TBI's, losing taste & smelling senses with tinnitus, add in dementia-stage 1- memory issues only I'm hoping. Is this site mainly/only 4 people with addictions ?
- May 17, 2014 at 8:17 pm(142) Tricia says:
Addiction has been a struggle in my life…food addiction, spending addiction, alcohol addiction, coffee addiction…so on. I have found the secret is really tuning into what you are feeling…feeling is not so bad, rather than trying to change how you feel. Life is so beautiful and there will always be highs and lows. This is a really great article for coping with change..http://www.thefix.com/content/need-change


text:
Air New Zealand's story began in April 1940 when its forerunner airline, Tasman Empire Airways Limited (TEAL) was incorporated. TEAL began its first trans-Tasman services with flying boats. Air New Zealand is an international and domestic airline group which provides air passenger and cargo transport services within New Zealand, as well as to and from Australia, the South West Pacific, Asia, North America and the United Kingdom. Joined Star Alliance in 1999.
You earn Basic points on selected booking classes that count towards a higher membership level and you can spend points on all flights operated by Air New Zealand. Award reservations can be made up to departure provided that the trip can be booked to/from e-ticket destinations. Book through your local Member Service.
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Quick links


text:
Cincinnati's Administration is continuing to pursue a public-private partnership option to overhaul the city's parking system.
Just this week officials from the Indianapolis mayors office say they sat down with folks from Cincinnati's City Manager's Office to talk about their parking partnership.
While last years' revenues are still being tallied in Indianapolis, they're projecting over two million dollars to come in. The mayor's office says that is roughly six times what the local government made when it was running the show.
"The city has no risk. All we do is cash the checks," said Marc Lotter, spokesperson for the Indianapolis Mayor's Office.
Since 2010 the City of Indianapolis has partnered with the private sector to overhaul their parking system.
"We learned from the mistakes that some of the other cities have made," Lotter said. "We think we're doing it very well."
Lotter argues the private partnership has done what city government could not.
"Improved efficiency, improved technology, you got rid of those ugly, old, rusty poles that were dotting our sidewalks, and we're getting more money in the end," he argued.
Now Cincinnati's administration is taking cues from its neighbor down I-74.
"They're a Midwestern city," city spokesperson Meg Olberding said. "They have similar sensibilities to us and they have been very successful."
Instead of the old coin machines drivers can now use their smart phones to scan codes to set the time, or go to one of the boxes and use a credit, or debit card. The Park Mobile app allows drivers to increase parking or pay for parking without ever having to go to a meter.
The company has even installed sensors in the road so that drivers can use a smart phone app to find out where the open spaces are around town.
"It's fine city, it's a lot to be proud of in Indianapolis," resident Kevin McCarthy said. "The downside though is that the technology doesn't even work."
Even when it does work, McCarthy argues there are other concerns.
"Yeah it's good technology but is it being used to help the citizen or is it being used to drive revenue for a private company?" McCarthy questioned.
Kevin McCarthy argues the same technology that alerts him his meter time is running up can alert the parking management to the same information.
"They'll race to your car before you have a chance to update your parking session," he told FOX19.
FOX19 reached out to ParkIndy, LLC for comment on their work in Indianapolis, but a spokesperson declined comment since the company put in a bid for Cincinnati's request for proposals on the parking partnership.
"I think there has been an increase in tickets overall but that's also because we've extended the hours when the meters are in effect and also the number of days that are in effect," Lotter said.
A downtown Indy businessman says the weekends were free before, but now just Sundays are free.
Another not-so-popular change is the increased change the meter eats up every hour.
"I feel like I should be able to park on my own streets at a reasonable price," McCarthy argued.
"In order to bring the rates up to where they should be they effectively, well they did, double them over the course of a year," downtown comic store owner Doug Stephenson said.
Stephenson says while the initial rate hike, agreed on in the contract, shocked many drivers he says it has helped keep the customers moving through the doors.
"Just as many people park at the meters as they did before," he told FOX19. "The only thing you do notice is there's more of a rotation of cars. You don't see the same car, sitting in the same spot all day long."
The city argues with meter rates staying the same for over 30 years going from .75 cents to a $1.50 was no big change.
"It actually encouraged people to park and feed the meters and businesses were telling us 'We need turnover,'" Lotter said.
"It needed to be done," one local resident agreed.
While drivers may be dealing in quarters, the mayor is championing the millions the new system is generating for the city.
Indianapolis took a $20 million lump sum up front and signed a 50 year contract with outs every 10.
"I think everyone views this as being a wild success. Had that been another experience that does give the tax payers a protection," Lotter said.
Cincinnati's administration is also looking to strike a balance.
"We do have short term needs, there's no doubt about that, but we also have long term needs and we have to be able to invest in our parking system long term," Olberding said.
The cities do differ, however, on how the money can be spent. In Indianapolis they cannot use the money for operational expenses.
"We only use it for investments," Lotter explained. "We don't use it to support the budget."
In fact, he says a state law mandates they use the money on infrastructure in areas where the parking meters are in place like a new garage going up in the Broad Ripple neighborhood.
"We, along with many cities, have an infrastructure budget hole," Lotter told FOX19.
In Cincinnati, instead of closing off the operational option, the partnership would open it up.
"It really unlocks that pot of money for us to be able to use it for other things," Olberding explained.
In Indianapolis, they recognize every city is different.
"I wouldn't say just because Indianapolis did it this way that Cincinnati or another city should follow suit," Lotter said. "At some point you have to trust the leaders of those cities to work for the best interest of their citizens."
"The City of Cincinnati gets to make their own decision," McCarthy said. "I wish we hadn't made the decision in Indianapolis that we did."
Currently the meter rates in Cincinnati vary. On Liberty Street, a quarter will get drivers half-an-hour while that same .25 cents only equates to eight minutes at City Hall.
Olberding says Cincinnati officials, like those in Indy, are not willing to give up all say in parking. Exactly how things will change, however, will depend on how much the city is willing to compromise in the contract.
She says no full-time employees will lose their jobs in the deal. She says they will have to option to stay on with the company or take another job with the City.
Cincinnati's administration is reviewing the nine proposals from companies looking to partner with the city. They plan to have a recommendation to council by the end of the month or early March.
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