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Jenny's new neighbours aren't human, her new friend is a witch, and her little brother is just not himself. Half-term is going to be different.
Strange things have been happening since Jenny and her family moved to the countryside. To think that she was worried about being bored. Not any more.The worst of it is her little brother. Jake hasn't pulled Jenny's hair or glued her slippers to the floor for over a week now. Jenny thinks the fairies might have taken him and left something nice in his place. She thinks it might be her fault, and she wants him back before her mum notices. So, what to do?Simple, crash Fairyland, find brother, return. How difficult can it be?This is (almost totally) unedited first draft material, so there will be many errors of punctuation, because punctuation is not something I do naturally. I am more interested in what you think of the 'feel' of the tale and what doesn't work for you than I am in the vagaries of my apostrophes, but if the punctuation kippers it for you, I guess I need to be told that, as well.
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arthur, brother, cats, cauldron, charm, children, courage, curse, doorway, dragon, elf, evil, faerie, fairy, father, friend, friendship, girl, goddess...
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Just read chapter 1. I really like it. It feels like something a bit weird is about to happen, but you're not sure what. Very attractive and makes me want to read more.I also like the use of italics after dialogue to show what's going on in her head. Is that something you invented or is it a standard way of writing that I haven't seen before.I'll post more when I've read more chapters, I can't read too much at once, as I'm REALLY not a fan of reading form a computer screen.
I enjoyed Chapter 1. The opening paragraphs give us a nice glimpse of Jenny's character (the BMX; the shed; the generally independent spirit). I liked the detail about the socks in the slippers; I also liked the trick with the hair and the mirror and I look forward to seeing some more of Jake.You seem fond of comma splices. I recommend you get a little more generous to the semi colon. Also, you have a typo in the phrase "get back AT Jake." I'm not a big fan of the "probably" paragraph. Specifically, I'm not a fan of your adverb placement or the "probably" in three consecutive sentences. Also, I didn't care for the very first sentence. I was concerned, upon reading that sentence, that I was in store for a chapter of purple prose, but after that first sentence your imagery became more delicate and more effective.More importantly, you carried me into your book and brought me into Jenny's world with ease. You also set up nicely some intrigue with the big house and Mrs. Morgan and left me wondering what their place in the story will be. I shall read on.
I'm up to reading chapter 5 :) I like the way the woods are described at the beginning in a very visual style, and quite poetic, but there's a great sense of the bleakness of Jenny's situation - that the surroundings have very little impact on her initially. Focused as she is on her recent upheaval and discomfort/conflicts at home.Following that, I'm glad that the story quickly got to the subject of magic. It was easier to grasp than a lot of YA magic-meets-the-real-world stories, by having the situation accepted already in her new community - making Jenny the alien to the situation. I liked the idea that magic was part of living in the countryside (not too far from the truth either) ;)I like your depiction of female YA characters - very realistic, not caricatured or over-commercialised into mini-WAGs which are turning up a lot in teen novels - would appeal to tomboy readers and boys as well. There's a lot of active history still being played out in western culture that could be inspired here.Still reading and hope it gets noticed in the Chicken competition!Lisa
I really loved your story. Very discriptive. I love the way you write, it floast along very smoothly. A very enjoyable read.DawnSammy and the Wise Willow
Took a bit of time before the story flowed. I think the introduction of 'Hob' made the biggest impact for me because the pattern of the story reminded me of the railway children. Two girls and one boy with their mother in tow moving to a new place and settling in. This isn't criticism, the purest form of writing is originality to push the mind to its limits and beyond. When a writer covers a track, that has been trodden, in books film and television a connection might be made, however modern or contemporary the characterizations. For me personally, the railway children connection was a slight distraction, until the character of 'Hob' arrived. I enjoyed the first three chapters, however I found chapter three slightly messy in places. Chapter three.The merest hint of a breeze tickled her cheek and ruffled her hair, she could hear the distant cows lowing ( lowing?)Some sort of birds cawing (cawing?)And there was a road with traffic flashing specks of sunlight at her, and another, ( another road, or more traffic, another car, another what, a bit confusing.)There was a river, there was a lake. ( which is it) There was an old man standing a couple of feet away at least jenny thought he was a man, it was hard to tell from a face that was a mass of wrinkles with two twinkling eyes and a hooky nose standing a couple of feet away. ( We know already he was a couple of feet away. Daniel ManningNo Compatibility.
Hello! I only had time to read three chapters at the moment but, I have to say I really enjoyed it. The first sentence in chapter one was so descriptive,albeit a bit long, but still a fantastic choice of words and cadence. I really enjoy the characters, you have a bit of everything. There is an apparent change in Jenny that you can see even in just the first three chapters as she copes and explores the new surroundings. This has a good pace and keeps you interested to say the least. I will say that when you have a new sections within the chapters they are kind of abrupt and leave you with a feeling of ... wait did I miss something? I think that if you put a little more of a transition into the sections within the chapters and at the beginning of the second, third and fourth chapters to keep the flow of your writing. Oh and there is a section in chapter three where you wrote "Lizzy" instead of "Jenny". Other than that I really enjoyed this, it is certainly going to be on my bookshelf for a while. Good Luck!-Anna-
KA,"Changeling" can be designatedf an art piece, the way you built your narrative on vivid descriptives with poetic flourishes. Certainly riding along on Jenny's POV was a delight getting frontseat viewing of her escapades while she went through her makeover from urbanite to country bumpkin. Thank you so much for the compelling read.Kenneth Edward LimThe North Korean
Hi KAAn AWB crit of Changeling follows - the usual criteria apply, and please remember this is my personal view, and any comments that I make can be freely ignored.Having said that, I really enjoyed reading Changeling - I'm just sorry it took me longer than was originally planned. As a result though I ended up having to reread the first 5 chapters, and some of my initial thoughts were resolved on a second reading - and personally I love books that I can return to and re-read time and again.I've deliberately ignored typos etc, as that is the work of the editor when it gets to that stage.In the first couple of chapters I struggled to get to grips with Jenny, and the family situation - maybe I didn't absorb it as well as I could have, but the situation that they find themselves in, for me, needs to have a little more introduction in the first few chapters. We know that they have had to move, but we only seem to find out why in the scene between Jenny and Bella - but if I missed something then I apologise.Having said that I've ignored typo's there is one at the start of Section 3 within Chapter 3, where the sentence starts "Lizzy" - having read this a couple of times it appears that the character concerned is actually Jenny?In the same section there are some corking lines - a particular favourite was concerning Jenny "her brain played catch up with her ears" - a fantastic line, and a situation I've found myself in at times...In the scene where Jenny and Bella are together in Jenny's room, and Hob finally speaks, I think you could ramp up the fear factor here - it is there, but maybe needs to be brought to the forefront a little more?Finally, in Chapter 10 you refer to Alice, and there is no mention of who she is?Only other point - you have some wonderful, descriptive prose here, that really feeds the imagination, and you also incorporate smells well (the apples that Marly offers for example) - I would love to see more of that in the descriptions when they first enter the Hollow for example.Finally, as I've said, a great read - please please please put some more up so I can read it :)
Changeling Your opening paragraph was well introduced. I like your similes and metaphors, they help create detailed imagery. '….but there didn't need to be, there wasn't anywhere to go' I like this line, it helps build the idea that there truly is nothing but land around, that jenny in the middle of nowhere.I think I see where you're going with jenny liking fire……..maybe I'm right I'll let you know.' "Strangers are just friends we haven't meet" ' love this line.I've read your first chapter, I like it, although it seems slightly contradictory on a few notes concerning roads nearby. One moment you said there were no roads nearby and then you said she was listening for cars…………..although I found this a little confusing i still really enjoyed reading your story. I will continue with this as like to read about witches. Have a look at mine if you get the chance, perhaps you could give me some advice. Maybe?Amy.A Rose so Deadly
I love the ambiance and setting of the opening. I will say that sometimes Jenny's voice and the narrator's voice clash a bit too much for me. You have these literary type descriptions, but then the dialogue and thoughts feel different. (to be honest, I prefer Jenny's voice to the narrators I'd also, if I were you, work on the paragraphing. Part of the issue is the need to tighten things up (spend more time on what's happening and less time on other things) and the other part is just more of a formatting issue, to make the read feel smoother and quicker. That said, the setting is rich and the story line is intriguing. I'd also like to see the scenes smoothed out a bit. Like you have blocks of description with little else, and then whole scenes are dialogue but little else. Try to bring a balance to each scene. Some action, some dialogue, some description, some exposition. Then, it might just be my personal tastes. I REALLY <3 love <3 the premise and the feel to this. If you have any questions, let me know!
A modern fairytale - very nice - the characters are developed (I like Hob) well and the plot is intriguing. Just enough foreshaowing to make me want to continue reading - have read through chapter 6 - I think it is funny that Jenny thinks her brother has been taken and a copy of him has been left just because he is acting so nice - a fresh twist of a plot -looking forward to reading about finding the silver branch and going to fairyland -I have fairies and a fairy land in my book too - would love to hear your thoughts ~ a The Women Who Fly Kites
Hi,I enjoy YA novels so I came to take a look at yours.I liked the tone of your novel I think it's the right pace for your intended audience. Jenny is an interesting MC and I liked reading all the family dynamics. Realistically portrayed.What a twist of fate to lose your wishes without realizing. Adds new meaning to that old adage 'be careful what you wish for'As I only read the first three chapters I still feel there is so much more to come in this tale. A good hook for your prospective readers. Hobb is endearing and the Big House feels like a character in itself. I love old buildings in these kind of stories.You have had many comments regarding editing, so I won't included any comments in that area, you seem to be more interested in what works and I think this is an intriguing story with loads of potential.Best wishes in your path to getting it published,Cheers Jacoba
Hi, I wanted to re-read the first chapter. The first line however was an obstacle. You may think me as superficial, but I could not read past it. To me, it would be a harbinger of what is to come. Consequently, I would put the book back on the shelf. Whilst you may be purposefully commencing with such a sentence, to me, if that's your ploy, you're being too clever by far. The sentence is ugly. It lacks fluidity. And I'm simply not sure about its general construction.Change the first sentence, my friend.
HI KA! Just took at look at Changeling! This was nice! Thank you for sharing. Starred!! :)
I've only read chapter one and I've got to say, you did a good job with this. I stumbled over the first line or two, but then your descriptions caught me up and I found myself walking through the woods with Jenny. I'd continue on to chapter two, but its already way past my bedtime. I've added this to my watchlist though and you can be sure I'll be back to finish it another time. :)~Sun and Moon~Shaliken
Hi KA, thought I'd drop by to see some of your work :) Unfortunately I'm a slow reader and trying to spread my attentions around a bit, so I've only read the first couple of thoroughly enjoyable chapters thus far.Since it's the feel of the story you want to know about, that's what I'll give you. I see what you mean about having a taste for more 'darkness', and you pull it off quite well. The overall feel is very mysterious, and you've quite drawn me in. I want to know more. From the moment Jenny entered the woods I could almost feel the presence of the "F" words ;)Jenny's cynicism is perfect for her age; she reminds me of a teenage girl I work with.I've enjoyed what I've read so far and plan to come back for more. When it's complete and you're pushing for the top five, let me know and I'll back it without hesitation.I hand the brick over to you :D
Hi!Read one of your crits and wondered in view if the detail, whether you write as well as you ctitique!Hate to say this, I stumbled over the first line.'Sunlight filtered through myriad leaves…' Should this not be 'Sunlight, filtering through myriad leaves [comma]…'? Maybe that's just me…'She had never been so aware of having nobody near her before' is a double negative maybe 'she had never felt so isolated' – less words.'no computer to use[comma] and even if there was, it hadn't survived.''They would be probably looking' should be 'They would probably be looking..'I won't go on.There are so many clumsy sentences that detailed editing would be unhelpful and looks as if I'm pulling it to pieces which is not my intention.The portion I read is good. You get the feel of the atmosphere and the narrative prose moves well with good pace (despite the clumsy sentences which bring the fluency to a halt).The MC's voice is clear and audible. The descriptive prose is good too though a little flowery for me (not most people).On the whole an enjoyable read, though editing to tighten will be a must.Backed for a clever and imaginative story which will do well with an edit.
First off, you do a magnificent job at weaving in pieces of characterization for Jenny throughout this first chapter. None of it felt forced and by the end I felt like I knew her pretty well. The first line of the novel is a nice piece of purple prose that gives us the setting and then drops us off in Jenny pov. At which point we learn she couldn't care how beautiful the forest is. Nice contrast.Dialogue was close to perfect throughout this chapter.I had some complaints about stilted, or non existent description for her mother and Mr. Skellington. Yet at the same time, with this being a YA novel the lack of detail could work in your favor. I imagine most teens will have a ready face to place on Mr. Skillington and the mother. Giving too much physical detail would likely be a turn off.I did want a description of the old lady's voice.I caught a few "that" words which were not needed but I'm sure this is something you will catch down the line. Also I noticed a few uses of filter words like saw and felt. "Jenny felt a little uneasy......but she felt as though she were being watched.... removing these and re writing these section would bring us closer into her pov and improve things.
Changeling by KA. SmithI had the pleasure to read this magnificent book. These are my opinions only and whish for others to read and comment on. The first and most important thing I learned while reading was how to give a descriptions of a Fairy by using dialog. I have to try this and the author does so with clarity. I could see it. I could visual all that happened through an unseen source. The dialog, I have to admit, there is a lot but it does move the story along.Now that said, I have a few nit-picks. I would like to see more reactions from the main character. When she finds the silver key by playing with the dog, its flat (my opinion) Show more emotion, High fives, excitement to be holding a vital key to the story. Take the reader on a roller coaster ride, drop them, pick them up, dust them off, and drop again. Get them breathing hard, excited, heart thumping. In addition, drop them again and when they get up, take them through the corkscrew. As Will said: stay away from the water, (don't remember the exact wording) was interesting: I could see a duck landing and being swallowed, followed by a belch. You need to work on this one though. The reaction when the dragon took her friend, little reaction. But was explained later, however, I could see her freaking out big time, add more emotion. I could see the lion and was delighted it was named Sue. Good descriptions too Overall, a good enjoyable read, funny, intriguing and a neat book to show others how to use dialog in place of descriptions.Good job, happy readingRich W (The Alliance of Worldbuilders crit)
Hi KA, a quick look at Chapters 9 and 10.I liked the way the story is developing now, and have only a few pointers to comment on.General plot point – what's happened to the silver bough that is going to get them out – should Bella be carrying it as extra tension for Jenny?Chapter 10, when Jenny, Bella and Marly are looking at the pool, and Marly tells them "she is always hungry" you've a potential for a scary monster moment – is it worth taking? If the crowds in the tented village were a reasonable size, where do they all live if there were only a few dwellings in sight when J & B looked out across the Land? When the Steward and Duchess talk about the " other side" should you use caps to make it clear that it's a big deal? And why is J not surprised that they know the name of her village, if no one's been across for 100 years? Does time flow differently? I'd have preferred to see Jenny in a cell, from which Marly springs her. Otherwise the steward is in big trouble – maybe he'll get J's appointment with the Royal torturer?Chapter 11 has a whole section in italics. Was that deliberate, because it didn't seem to fit. I liked the winged lion, reminded me a bit of 'The Flowing Queen', which my daughter loves. Should Sue first quote her full name to overawe J a bit, then allow her to call her Sue? I thought that Sue saying that the dragons' captives were to be ambassadors took out the tension of 'Will Bella be eaten yet?' too early in your story, at the moment Jenny is going to get her mate who is on no danger at all, and with no pressure to do that. Get her wound up and terrified, for me, but I like tormenting MCs, that's why my lot moan about me all the time.By the way, why was it significant that Bella had the apples? Is this going to be a big issue – if so, maybe big it up a bit?Hope it helps,Will
For KA Smith, CHANGELING critique Had the chance to read a few chapters last night and these are my opinions.Chapter 2. The fairy character is upbeat and I enjoyed the dialog. Even the kid too, takes a sudden fairy before him in stride. (maybe a little more reaction to it) From what I remember, I was interested in the story and did not take careful notes. However, the fairy is interesting. It knew all about the kid. I knew it was the way the kid built the fire that attracted it.I liked the fact that the fairy did not like the "F" word. The description is short and sweet—not drawn out. The kid fed the fairy mild and it "MIGHT" be interesting to explain a little about the cookies. And it held my attention.Chapter 3Well-written and interesting but, at first was wondering about the whole thing. I started to think what I liked, so here goes:This chapter painted a picture of where she is. How the country looked like, (a quiet setting, and peaceful) Introduced the Old man (great description too, by the way). Makes you wonder WHAT his part of the story comes into play. Old man knew her name, and asked if she was staying with the fairy—interesting strategy.I liked the cow scene to. Made me want her to sneak up to one and tip it over. Kind of held my attention through the whole chapter. Some parts made me scratch my head though. Not sure about the crow though, it is a cute touch, trying to tie it in, or I'll find out later in the story.Nit picks."Mum had said that "his" was two thousand year old.""There's food here… Jenny walked towards the fire… The crow hopped away, she lit the fire." -- SO—look at –confusing."Jenny walked slowly, passing by the fire pit and trying not to disturb the wood pile." Easy to read, enjoyed too.Good luck with this. Rich W
Challenging – KA SmithCh1You are very creative here, love the introduction and short but sweet back-story on Jenny. She watched the flames and sulked in her misery, she loves fire, but some how knows her mother would not be happy with her having matches because of a small garden shed burning. I could so relate. I was in about eight and living in NY at the time with my family when my brother and I played with matches in the forest. We caught a small tarp fort on fire and my parents nearly blew a gasket. It made me smile thinking of the past memory.I'm a little slow I guess and I had to reread about her history book. I didn't catch at the first moment that she'd wished it didn't exist and then *poof it was gone. "Strangers are just friends we've never met." I love this line because of the truth behind it."King Kong is just a little monkey when you look at her size." Too funny and great visual description.Mrs. Morgan, the description of her eyes holding sparkle and having been told the funniest joke paints a wonderful picture for me. I have a feeling she is going to be of great interest to Jenny here soon. And the fact that she's "A Lady" will mostly likely perk Jenny's infatuation so she returns.Ch 2You add in the tiniest bit of humor that makes me laugh, "wasn't sure if the spiders were an improvement to her sister, but at least they kept quiet."You pulled my heart strings when Jenny thinks back about the foolish wishes she's wasted. She could have requested for them to be back home, for them to never have lost their home or that her father wouldn't have left, such deep thoughts for a young girl to bear. She only wants to make things right for her family, her mother.The introduction of Hob is simple and nicely done, I like her already. Interesting how Jenny called her and didn't even know it, the mystery behind her grows and what does she mean keeping the place from harm and the dwellers?Ch 3Just a little confusion, "Lizzy watched the world for a while," Did you mean Jenny?I can so see the flutter of petals falling down, what a magical sight.You've created a wonderful, dreamy world for young readers to delve into. You bring in the everyday life mixed with disappointment and discovery. A world where magic abounds if you just open your mind and see it, and an enchanted Big House encased in mystery and lure. Great job, Lisa
I loved this story. It put me in mind of Harry Potter, not because of the storyline, but because you've created this whole, intricate magical world within our world. The way you interweave humor and action is similar to J.K. Rowling's style as well. Basically, I'm very impressed. I'll skip over punctuation issues, because it isn't my strong point, but I can say this is very polished for a first draft. So, onto the story…Chapter One: We get to know a little bit about Jenny, but not a bunch. She is inquisitive, clever, and observant. Your imagery in this chapter is lovely, and paints a vivid picture of this area where your MC now finds herself. I chuckled when Jenny made her comment about trees; her boredom is evident here. It makes me a little nervous that she likes fire. I'm feeling some tension when she says she feels as if she's being watched. And, the scene with Mrs. Morgan…I'm intrigued her, because you're dropping some clues that things aren't what they seem.Chapter Two: You're dead-on accurate with the sibling dynamics. Jenny makes me laugh when she says Jake is a toerag, and again when she says living with spiders is an improvement over sharing a room with her sister. I love Hob, and cracked up when she referred to the word 'fairies' as the 'F' word. And, here you've given us some insight into Jenny's life and made her a sympathetic character. Chapter Three: Dropping some hints about magic here, and setting up the scene for your main conflict in the story. Well done.Chapter Four: We meet Bella. I love this chapter because you really kick the story into high gear. You're introducing magical terminology masterfully- no info dumps like I always crank out in my first drafts. (I'm jealous) The story really takes off here. Jenny is confused and trying to figure out what's going on. So am I, and I'm reading like a speed-demon trying to absorb as much as I can. Can't stop reading now. And, I just love Bella. I'm so glad Jenny has a friend; they really complement each other.Chapter Five and Six: You've further defined the conflict and given us a protagonist to root against. And, at last: the word Changeling. I laughed out loud because Jenny is suspicious because Jake isn't up to his usual tricks. This reminds me of my kids: I only worry when they're quiet. Chapter Seven: Camping? Ooh, I'm feeling the tension now. I love the way they discover the silver branch. I also like the way Bella describes what being a Witch entails. Chapter Eight and Nine: Fast-paced, great action here. Good stuff.This is a very charming story. I can't think of a single thing to complain about, so I don't feel like I'm offering you any helpful advice. I'm in love with your characters and can't wait to find out how this all plays out. Overall, this is a beautifully written, captivating tale.
Dear KA, I just read the first chapter and I liked the story very much. I read your opening re this being a rough draft so I won't go into editing particulars, but the first sentence threw me a little. It set a stage, but not the one I think goes with the story. I found myself re reading the first two sentences a few times to see how they fit together, and I don't think they did fit together. I would like to see the forest through Jenny's eyes, it would help set the stage. That is the only place I had to revisit when I was reading. The mystery is there and it is intriguing. You should get good reviews.SusanThe Adventures of Sohi: Mystery of Moon Island
Hi KA, just read through the rest, and a I have a random thought or two. Your use of the word marmalise ( familar to me!) mght not travel too well? Also I didn't think that Jenny expressede enough surprise at the arrival of the silver branch or that she could s figures in peripheral vision and Bella couldn't - any hints yet as to why? Also, if Jenny thinks that her brother is a changeling, can Hob not tell her straight away? Can she not tell a changeling?Will
This is really enjoyable. You have a way of gripping the reader right from the outside. I can't wait to read on.Just one thing struck me. When Jenny finally gets back to the big house in chapter 1, isn't she going to give a sigh of relief or something. Up to the point where we are told that her mother works here, we are still not sure if she is in the right place or not.If it wasn't the right place, and it was a mysterious mansion, then the story would go down a very different route I would imagine.That is just a tiny point in a very compelling, very enjoyable, story.All the best, Sana
Hi K A,I like the pitch for the book, and it did make me want to read it. I just read the first chapter, but I'll let you know what I thought:The first sentence was really confusing, and I had to read it three times before I understood it. Maybe that's just me, but I thought you should know.There were a lot of semicolons in the first part, and yet there were a lot of places where there should have been either a semicolon or a period where you used a comma.The MC seems interesting, and I liked that you get to know her personality through her actions and thoughts instead of just describing her outright.Some of the lines were really interesting and creative. I liked "pigeons used them for high level toilet seats", and it made me grin.I may keep reading just to see what happens!Cora
Hi,I liked your first chapter, you were recommended to me by Sam, because of the Fairy characters and I wanted to see how you did it. This line was the best: "Who is she calling a little girl? Actually, come to think of it, King Kong is just a little monkey when you're her size." A interesting story and I will continue to read. I have a placed yours on my WL and will 6 star it, Yours will be backed in a few days and I hope you might want to take a look at Aracelis too. The best,Richard A. WentworthAracelis
A descriptive beginning. A few more commas in the opening paragraph may help to point out meaning to the new reader.I quite like the gentle unrolling of description and the slow reveal of Jenny, but then I'm an adult. Do you know how the gentle pace fits with younger readers. I wonder whether they would want to know more about Jenny up front? Her age perhaps? I'm not sure how old she is at this point in the story.Good plot development in chapter 2 as the fantasy element kicks in. The prose is smooth and flowingand there is some good dialogue. I'm still confused by Jenny's age. Have I missed something? She adapts to seeing magical non-fairies pretty quickly, so is she quite young? I'm not getting a feeling of teenage angst here, but the feel of the prose is quite adult. Did you have an age-range in mind when you wrote it?This is a rich piece and I hope the above, slightly random thoughts, are of some use.J.S.WattsA Darker Moon
Hi,Intriguing beginning. Just a few minor observations.Maybe I'm obtuse, but I had to read your opening sentence a couple of times, to understand it, purely as a matter of construction. Certainly, this is a trick of Iain M Banks, and indeed, the first sentence could have been taken from one of his novels. Nevetheless, it didn't seem to be as fluid as maybe you intended, and given it's your opening sentence, I wonder if it could be a little simpler.The fire scene is well described, with a deft touch, though some of it jarred a little. She felt she was being watched. You're telling us this, but given it's a fundamental ingredient of the tension, I'd rather feel her unease, than be told. ' From thud thud....to pitter pattar' seems a little out of place for a well described piece of prose. Rather, ' a noise thrummed in her ears - her heart', or something of similar vein. Again, later, ' the feeling of being watched grew.' Perhaps a little clumsy, and lacking the subtelty and sureness of your general writing.The dialogue is smart, and highly believable. Just enough, and flows logically. The brief meeting with Mrs Morgan is well balanced, and hints of the promise of mystery.Well written. With maybe very slight editing, I think this will go far. Congratulations on a fine piece of writing.Regards,Kenny
Oh by heck, KA....but this is gorgeous, gorgeous, GORGEOUS!!! I only meant to take a swift peek but I read five chapters without pause and am only pausing to chuck down some thoughts before I go back and finish. What does this remind me of? What is it? It's sort of Susan Cooper and George McDonald mixed with BB....quite a lot of BB but it's all your own. Just beyond lovely. 'the feeling of being alone was so different from the feeling of being lonely.' that was what first set it apart for me. 'She had never heard herself just being alive before' - that cemented it. Love that feeling of ill-at-easeness you capture so well....the wood incarnated, the fire lit... YESSSSS.Chap 2: Mum as proper noun, capitalised? I did wonder if you introduced Hob a little early...but, having read further on, I think it's okay.Chap 3: Love the realism of father leaving debt... Mum had said that his (?) was two thousand years old. Ancient dead party people? FAB!Chap 4: formatting goes a bit odd mebbe? Whole pile of itals. 'He is the hunt. He is the swift pursuit and the snapping of jaws.' Wonderful.... 'it's toes' eeek, apostrophe abuse! KA, this is just so so lovely. It's like the best of the books I read as a child. I suspect it's way too lovely to be picked up by a publisher nowadays but I hope, so so hope, I'm going to be proved wrong. jxxx
Hello KA, I have arrived (sword in tow) to have a slice...er, look at Chageling. Remember none of the following needs to be heeded if it's missing the point.The pitch- I prefer the second half to the first one. The 'To think that she was worried about being bored' is good; I don't thibk you need the 'Not any more'. Maybe 'But fears of boredom become the least of her worries...'ONEThe first sentence paints a nice picture- but I'm tripping over it! It's a bit too flamboyant. I'd keep it simpler: 'Sunlight filtered through the leafy gloom, painting the Jenny's face in spots of gold, and she sighed. Maybe she would be better off in her room...''...there wasn't much to do here'- I think this would come across better if you gave us more non-verbal cues to Jenny's boredom. Then we can infer she's trying to entertain herself (and failing miserably).'There didn't seem...' could strengthen this with 'But unlike the parks, this place had no paths, or anyone to make them. Then again, there didn't need to be; there wasn't anywhere to go.''There wasn't much'- this is the fourth 'there' in two sentences. You have two choices: it keeps a good rhythm to the sentence, or two, it's becoming repetitive and drawn out. I'll leave it up to you which you prefer :)'here and THERE'... see above :)'She walked uphill'- I'd prefer this as a new paragraph as it's indicating a change in pace (from standing still to movement).'She had never been so aware of having nobody near here'- could be neatened up: 'She had never been so aware of her own isolation. Yet this was a different kind of alone; not 'lonely'.'If only her bike hadn't been stolen'- some more reaction from Jenny maybe? She's annoyed? Upset? Angry? Wishing she'd accepted that £15 advance from ebay?'She stumbled over a stone...' I'd split these sentences up with full stops, as this contrasts nicely with the glossy description you have above and will make the reader think 'hey, what's going on here?'.For all your description I can't really picture in my head where Jenny is and what she's looking at. With this stone business, I'd like a more clear map of the ash, the stones and the tree she'd been standing under, just to orient myself better.The fire thing seems a little random. I'd bring in her like of fire earlier, which gives her the reason she's decided to make one (alongside the boredom). It might be nice to go into a bit of detail as to how she knows to make a fire (does she like camping? A survival skill she wanted to learn? Something to get one up on her brother?). Not too much- just some snippets.It's good, but I think you need to connect Jenny to her surroundings more. You've done it well with the boredom, but a little more 'what to do? this sucks!', to give us a taste of Jenny's personality and temperament.Some of your sentences have ends bits strung on with commas, when I think a full stop or a semi colon would work better. e.g. 'The flames were pale even in the shade of the trees...(. I)t was a good fire.'This next bit is better- it's more in Jenny's head, as we finally see why being bored is preferable to going home. I'd draw out slightly more of Jenny's emotions earlier (frustration- perhaps she kicks the stock of firewood? Or thinks angry thoughts?). Of course, this is only a suggestion.Rest seems alright- will need a proofing to cut down the clutter words, though.Jenny and her mother's conversation seems very forced and polite- any reason we can't have more emotion in it?In school- the book thing, I was thinking 'what's the point?'. What is Jenny's purpose to doing that? I can't hear her voice clear enough through the text- I think you need to bring it out more, so I have more of an idea what's going through her head. You did this quite well in Blood Sisters with Mehret's daydreaming- needs a touch of that here!Ah, some mystery now...but it did seem to come from nowhere! Jenny's Mum gives her flowers to take to what amounts to a complete stranger? This is starting to crack my suspension of disbelief. A little more coherence to the early story would help some.Also...the opening of this caught me guard, because the pitch told me Jenny was going to the country. It seems she's already IN the country (the wood, unless I'm missing something). I was expecting a transitional type opening where she has to adapt from urban to rural life. Might just be me bringing my own ideas to the fore, but just giving you my honest reaction.TWOAgain, the sentence 'Jenny looked up' needs to be split by a full stop or semi colon, not a comma.'looked'- appears three times in the opening. You could drop the third one: 'Jenny looked at her Mum, then at the history book.''looked at the phone in her hand'- glanced? Frowned? A bit more of Jenny's reaction, please!Ah, things start to pick up now. Because Jenny's curiosity is strong, it's coming through more in your writing. You need to inject her personality into the opening scenes, to give them more life. After all this is Jenny's story- let HER be the one to tell it!Again, it seems your eagerness to get the plot started has left Jenny's character in the dust, so to speak. I don't really feel much empathy for her, which I think is important to keep momentum until the big sparks start to fly. The idea is fun and you've got the building blocks all there. They just need some chiselling to make each character unique and stand out on their own.That's probably the thing I'd say needs work to make the story lift off the page. Really work on Jenny, give us her thoughts, running commentary on things. You've done this in places (like the shed accident), just go for more. She's a great personality for your readers to follow, so really make it shine!Good luck and all the bestSam241
Hi KA. Pull up a branch, and get comfy.I likes the tone, mostly spot on for the TA. Point I'd raise though, is that perhaps you could darken the tone for the momentous events at the start. I found that by the time I got to chapter 3, I had lost the fire starting scene, as it had not registered as significant when I read it.Start of para 3, might be worth stressing the family connections, as they felt a bit loose - why would jake and Lizzie be looking for Jenny? Some of the slang phrases - swiped for example - were very UK, whilst others - Jenny figured - were quite US, and just didn't quite help the voicing settle down at the start.I liked the use of italics, to stress Jenny's thoughts. Later on there seemed to be an issue here, maybe you forgot to take the italics button off on the WP? and you had quite a chunk in italics, which spolit the effect you were achieving.When the history text book turns up back in the cupboard, it is not clear that that is what has happened. The teacher says "How?" but dies he give the book to jenny again? I don't know.Capter 2 The name Hob was an issue for me. Cultural conditioning, maybe? But Hob has alweays been a male name here, Hobgoblin etc. Incidentally, some time, type Wychwood Brewery into google, and have a look at the Hobgoblin T shirts.... Anyway, Hob being female jarred with me. I enjoyed the vanishing hat, nice one there.. Then comes one of the instances of overuse of the italics, when you use them for some scene description. A waste for me, as it dilutes the excellent effect earlier.Perhaps in charpter 2 you could feed a bit more of the back story in? There's a few hints, but a tad more - perhaps about how the kids feel about no longer having a dad around, do they miss him, want to see him etc? Is that a reason for bad behaviour? Nothing too heavy, just a few more hints maybe.. Chapter 3. Talking crow, nice touch. At a scene break, just after the bit with the farmer, you've got a Lizzie typed in where it should be a jenny.Sorry, lost all the rest, so I'll just wing it:Bella arrives, in Chapter 4 with some americanisms ( snuck) but it is not made clear untiil chapter 5 that she has am American parent. Perhaps bring that info forward? Also Bella seems to assume that Jenny knows all about magic, and I didn't think that Jenny showed enough surprise/disorientation at that. The break from schooltime to weekend needs clarification, too.For example, Jenny asks "Summoning who?" rather than "What's a summoning?" Then you need to edit the extended italics, where the button got stuck. In chapter 6 we learn that when Lizzie was out in Chapter 1, she was down the pub, could that have been usefully hinted at - background noise so to speak - in the mobile conversation between Jenny & Lizzie? Why didn't mum grab the phone off Jenny to scream at Lizzie then? SWMBO certainly would have done that....When the two girls go for a walk in the woods, perhaps make it clear? At first i thought that they were still in a bedroom...Sorry. Lost the original, which was so much better.But I loved the atmosphere and the characters are well drawn. Good stuff. Will
Super rad killer start, KA. It has a really good atmosphere and fascinating characters. I can tell you are in your element here!
This is looking good. I did find that at the start, you told me a lot of what was happening, but I didn't know who the girl was or anything about her, and I'd have liked to. Just a tiny bit of background so I had a rough idea and felt more involved in what was happening to her. I think that at the start, it should also be just 'myriad leaves.'The story has warmed up now, in chapter three, and I've got to know the people, and there's some very strange things happening. I'd say it has all the elements I'd have enjoyed when I was young, and am looking forward to reading more.On my watchlist for now.CariadSTONES.


text:
Analisia \a-nali-sia, an(a)-lisia\ as a girl's name is a variant of Annalisa (Latin), and the meaning of Analisia is "graced with God's bounty".
The baby name Analisia sounds like Analissa, Analisa and Analicia. Other similar baby names are Analilia, Adalicia, Alisia, Annalissa, Anelisa, Analyssa, Analise, Analiesa and Analeisa.
Analisia is not a popular first name for women and an equally uncommon surname or last name for all people. (1990 U.S. Census)

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Home » News » Education
Educational video
Texting + driving = deadly consequences
A car crashed had into a tree. A passenger with a bloodied face was unconscious in the front seat.
The scene had the elements of a fatal car accident, but it was all part of a video being produced by students in their Modern Media television production class at Sanborn Regional High School.
Then freshman Jenna Nofsker, 15, of Newton, approached Gray and expressed interest in filming a video about the dangers of texting while driving.
The police and fire departments became involved and agreed to play an active role, bringing in emergency vehicles and personnel to create a dramatic scene that was filmed and will be used in the students' educational video.
The storyline involved three sisters on their way to school. The oldest sister, played by senior Sarah Boisselle, 17, is behind the wheel and receives several text messages while driving to school. At one point, she decides to look down to check a message and veers off the road and crashes into a tree.
Trina has done some local acting and is the daughter of the high school's guidance director, Michelle Catena.
The class has produced school-related videos that have been posted on its YouTube channel, but has never filmed a video of this scope, Giuliucci said.
Freshman Sophie Smith, 15, of Kingston, helped spearhead the project with Nofsker. She spent nearly two hours in a bucket on a truck to film angles from the air with help from Kingston police Officer Michael Prescott.
"We'll have to edit a lot of it," she said.
The filming affected Boisselle on a personal level. She said her best friend was killed in an accident in Maine last November and was texting and not wearing a seatbelt.
"You feel it more. It's easier to have that emotion because it's a child," said Boisselle, who was later arrested at the scene by Kingston police Sgt. Michael LePage as part of the storyline and charged with negligent homicide.
In addition to Seaman, the department provided six firefighters on a fire engine, three in an ambulance, two in a forestry truck, along with two paramedics from Exeter Hospital.
"I see it personally when I'm driving down the road. I constantly see cars going by me texting. It's amazing how big of a problem it is," he said.
"We were able to provide some guidance as to what they could expect at a motor vehicle scene. We're hoping that this sends a very strong message on how dangerous it is to text and drive. We're hoping that it sends a very clear message, not only to students, but to the general public," he said.
- Video on molestation, shown to Manchester 3rd graders, upsets parents - 17
- Claremont high school's renovation causes upset, sparks inspection - 0
- Nashua school members' letter prompts an apology - 0
- UNH Law named a top 100 law school in magazine's rankings - 0
- Loeb School spring classes offer career-change chance - 0
- 'Mathletes' chosen to represent NH in national competition - 1
- Pembroke Academy wants to help at-risk students - 0
- From Russia, with love of numbers at Nashua school - 0
- Great Bay Community College 'boot camp' trains students in precision manufacturing - 0
$1 million cut from Nashua school budget
READER COMMENTS: 0- A second chance: Manchester hasn't won Hooksett yet - 0
- Calling Deep Throat: Where is Obama's Mark Felt? - 0
- Monarchs know there's always room for improvement - 0
- Student artwork on display in Derry for PTA's Reflections - 0
- Town, school budgets approved in Amherst - 0
- Wilton-Lyndeborough elementary school merger plan passes - 0
- Hollis voters approve all warrant articles - 0
- Div. I Girls' Basketball: Bedford advances to final with ease - 0
- Boys' Hockey: Souhegan, John Stark-Hopkinton advance in Div. III - 0


text:
Video: Rihanna Rocks 'American Idol'Rihanna transformed from pop star to rock star while performing her new single "Rockstar 101" on Wednesday's "American Idol." The singer picked up a black electric guitar and gave us a taste of what we can expect on her upcoming "Last Girl on Earth" tour. TweetYou can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. 40 Comments
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Go to map view
You'll be by the sea with a stay at Red Tree in Mehamn. Make yourself at home in one of the 2 individually decorated guestrooms. Windows open for fresh air and sea views. Complimentary wireless Internet access is available to keep you connected. Bathrooms with shower/tub combinations are provided. Enjoy recreation amenities such as bicycles to rent or take i...
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Nintendo DS
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- Developer: Amaze Entertainment
- Publisher: Sierra Entertainment
- Genre: Action Platformer 3D
- Release Date: Mar 14, 2006
- ESRB: Everyone
Question & Answers
Stuck in sloth village 2
I can see the last acorn, but cannot find a way to get it. How do I get to the last acorn in Sloth Village 2? Thanks!
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Bring the vineyard home with this eco-friendly mulberry
tote. Fresh grapes are hung around a single twig with a rich crimson
background. Able to hold two bottles,
this bag is ideal for any event. Packaging Style: None


text:
Recents Posts
- Microsoft Access Reports – Passing Totals From A Subreport Into The Main Report
- Converting Microsoft Access Databases Between Versions (ACCDB/MDB)
- MS Access Database Forms: Using The SelStart And SelLength Properties
- What Types Of Things Can I Do With A Microsoft Access Database?
- How to Publish An Access Database To SharePoint – MS Access On The Web
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Tag Archives: image gallery in access 2010
MS Access Images – Add, Reuse, And Update Images On Forms And Reports
MS Access Images – Add, Reuse, And Update Images On Forms And Reports Take a look at this 5 minute video tutorial about MS Access images which demonstrates how to insert, update and manage the image gallery which is a … Continue reading


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Black Star Cosplay
A ninja and the meister of Tsubaki. He is exceedingly arrogant and loud-mouthed for an assassin, preferring to make a big entrance rather than to sneak up on his opponents, and tries to upstage anyone who gains more attention than he does.Buy Black Star Cosplay here!
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Join ConceptArt.Org.
Its' free and it takes less than 1 minute!
Its' free and it takes less than 1 minute!
Challenges of the week give artists the opportunity to create new and fantastic art based on a weekly theme set by the challenge moderators. They are also a great place to develop core skills.
Being featured on ConceptArt.org can get your artwork viewed by millions of artists a month including big industry leaders.
START! your journey here. This first presentation... Read more | FAQ
Workshop | Stage | Assignments |
Composition | 1.1 | Do Assignment |
Color and Light | 1.1 | Do Assignment |
Workshop | Level | Assignments | Continue |
Composition | 1.2 | Do Assignment | 1.3 |
Color and Light | 1.2 | Do Assignment | 1.3 | 1.4 |
Illusion of Space and Atmosphere | 1 | Do Assignment | |
Personal Art | 1.1 | Do Assignment |
Liking all the updates droid!
My site:
New World Creation: Designers Wanted Environment of the Week
Beautiful environments, and i like the horse-studies indeed very much.
Way to go.
thanks for the comments guys, I´m back from a 10 days trip to spain, so I did not have time to reply earlier, will post some new stuff soon
You've got awesome enviros!! One crit though... Those underwater scenes youve got...i feel like that the impression of depth (in this case distance) in halfbaked, but that is just my preferece. Keep it up!
My sketchbook Comments & Crits always welcome!
hey all, here is my current eow entry calles "half obliterated space hangar" as well as some older stuff, hope you like it... As I´m learning for a external cook exam I´m quite busy these days but I will be back soon...
Do you ever use 3d models to use underneath your environment sketches?
@jdavisillustration- actually I never use 3d because I like to figure out perspective natively, so here is a step by step of one my latest images where I started with custom brushes, however sometimes I start with linedrawing I will post another one later this day.
and here is the second step by step as mentioned before
here is the final version of eow#197
here is some speedies I did lately and some other stuff, as my 1 exam is over I had some time last week, some of these are 40 min some are more
long time no post here,
getting better in photomanipulation,
really like the last space corridor speedie
still i recommend you to do some painterly exercises
hey takashmen, yes it´s been a while. I did lots of painterly exercises if you look closely but what do you mean with photomanipulation? Some of my images use photos to enhance the detail level. James Paick, Feng Zhu and John Park have great Tutorials about that. Photomanipulation or matte painting don´t paint over the photos. But I do. So it´s a big difference. I know one should do lots of painterly studies but you will learn also a lot when you paint over photos. Especially when you do stuff from imagination you will have to look at reference image for believability. Some why not overlay photos as reference. The artistic process is untouched. It´s a difference but it´s similiar.You can see in my last eow entry that color, mood, lighting, composition, perspective, design basics are all painted, no reference used for that, the photos just help read it better. Very detailed images without photos take very long. Sometimes I don have time for that but I love to spend time with it actually.
Anyways here is a new image without photos
My god, I can't even really say how breathtaking the details in your work are. Some of your more sci-fi oriented pieces remind me of Feng Zhu's artwork, they're just so incredibly done.
My DeviantART
My Sketchbook
"I've learned in recent years, that even the most negative, and hateful of statements should be welcomed with open arms. After all, if someone is allowed to praise and compliment my work, and tell me how much they love the way I did ___, or ___ then why should I ever deny someone else the right to tell me that my work is awful, that I need to grasp the basics of anatomy/composition/originality/etc, and that I have FAR more to improve on?"
new speedy, about 60 min, ref used for the hippo, no photos used
Last edited by android411; November 16th, 2012 at 10:13 PM.
two more speedies, I really enjoy doing speedies at the moment, as they don´t take much time and so I can learn too...
wonderful progress on the mood study just work on some more at texturing and rendering also try doing a illustration or two
thank you very much udonhead, I´m glad you see some progress, I will tryout what you suggest, maybe I will join the illustration of the week, though artwork there though
here´s my final for eow 199
sb most art copied to page 1
Weapons of Mass Creation 2011 ::: Add your favourites!
skype: velocitykendall
facebook: Alface Killah
thanks Velocity, yes I´m very focused these days, I´m getting older, so better not wait for too long And thanks for the tips I will try to do it!
here is some stuff for eow 200, trying to be as painterly as possible
herr`s an update
wow, your style is just amazing.
your environments are perferct for me. i like the painterly touch you give them.
peace. l.
ca sketchbook
thank you lupre! glad you like it
haven´t painted for quite some time but here´s some new stuff


text:
High Performance Wireless Networking
Killer™ Wireless-N 1103 network adapters for notebook PCs are designed to deliver the fastest wireless networking performance using 802.11n, offering speeds up to five times faster than competing products. Faster downloads, smoother online gaming and better streaming video and audio experiences are now possible with up to 450 Mbps data rates, range-enhancing 802.11n technologies and exclusive Killer™ networking features like Advanced Stream Detect™ and Visual Bandwidth Control™.
- Cutting-Edge 11n Performance - Advanced, dual-band (2.4 GHz and 5 GHz) adapter supports IEEE standards-based 802.11a/b/g/n. Killer Wireless-N 1103 enables industry-leading PHY rates up to 450 Mbps over 3 stream MIMO for enhanced rate-over-range performance and up to 5x better latency than the competition.1
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1 Up to 450 Mbps raw data rate enabled with 802.11n with 3 spatial streams. Actual wireless throughput will vary.
2 Wi-Fi devices must be certified by the Wi-Fi Alliance to be 802.11a/b/g/n certified. Check with your PC manufacturer for details.


text:
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The road to Richmond
Tasmania East of Hobart
Twin chairs for twin brothers
Another view
From atop Mount Wellington
Wellington view
View atop Mount Wellington
The Organ Pipes atop Mt. Wellington
Across the Derwent
Derwent crossing
Vineyard on the bay
Summer in Tazzie
Distant hills
Even the toilet room had bars!
Richmond Jail, trying out the pit toilet
Richmond Jail exercise yard
Richmond Jail diet
Well worn steps at the jail
Who said ducks aren't smart?
Richmond Historical Bridge
Distant mountains of Tasmania
The shot tower
Memorial flowers at Snug
My husband Damien
Sulphur-crested Cockatoo, Puffing Bill Station, Melbourne
Is this the me most remember better?
Handfasting with Damien
This spring's crop of cygnets, on Cherry Lake - 2008 Spring
Plovers on Cherry Lake
Aren't they just cute? I think they are in love!
A Pink Galah, from the tree next door
Corella from the tree next door


text:
Currently, PAHO does not recommend use of cholera vaccination in Haiti as an emergency response, but recognizes that as conditions change, the use of this vaccine may be advisable in the future. This document provides the basis for this position.
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced the results of the laboratory tests to determine the cholera strain linked to the current outbreak in Haiti. More details can be found on the official CDC press release.
Document prepared by PAHO - [English] [Français] [Español] [Português]
Experts from the Ministry of Public Health and Population and the Ministry of Culture and Communication in Haiti have released three new spots to be used in radio stations and mobile units throughout the areas most affected by the cholera outbreak.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information: verify here.
No. 295 Avenue John Brown, Port-au-Prince, Haiti, Boite Postale 1330, Port-au-Prince, Haiti Tel.:+509 28143000 Fax:+509 28143089 email@example.com


text:
OIG: Hospital-physician arrangement would not result in sanctions
In a new advisory opinion, the Department of Health and Human Services' Office of Inspector General said it would not impose sanctions on a specific hospital compensation arrangement with a group of physicians, which includes a performance bonus for meeting certain patient service, quality and cost savings measures. OIG said it would not seek sanctions under the federal civil monetary penalty and anti-kickback laws due to certain circumstances or safeguards included in the arrangement to co-manage the hospital's cardiac catheterization labs.
AHA.org Healthforum.com Health Forum Journal Health Facilities Management Materials Management Trustee Hospitals & Health Networks Buyers' Guide


text:
Those coveted post-work years can be sweet, but don't kid yourself — it'll take a lot of hard work to get there.
It may be a little bit early to think about retirement all too seriously if you still have several decades left before you face it. But don't look now -- time flies and before you
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Eph/Ephrin Signaling Regulates the Mesenchymal-to-Epithelial Transition of the Paraxial Mesoderm during Somite Morphogenesis
Eph/Ephrin Signaling Regulates the Mesenchymal-to-Epithelial Transition of the Paraxial Mesoderm during Somite Morphogenesis
Current Biology, Volume 13, Issue 18,
Pages 1571-1582,
Publication Date 16 September 2003
Copyright © 2003 Cell Press All rights reserved.
DOI: 10.1016/j.cub.2003.08.030
Arantza Barrios
Richard J. Poole
Lindsey Durbin
Caroline Brennan
Nigel Holder
Stephen W. Wilson
Department of Anatomy and Developmental Biology, University College London, London WC1E 6BT, United Kingdom
Correspondence: Arantza Barrios, 020 7679 3348 (phone), 020 7679 7349 (fax); and Stephen W. Wilson
Present address: Queen Mary College, University of London, London E1 4NS, United Kingdom.
This paper is dedicated to the memory of Nigel Holder.
Background: During somitogenesis, segmental patterns of gene activity provide the instructions by which mesenchymal cells epithelialize and form somites. Various members of the Eph family of transmembrane receptor tyrosine kinases and their Ephrin ligands are expressed in a segmental pattern in the rostral presomitic mesoderm. This pattern establishes a receptor/ligand interface at each site of somite furrow formation. In the fused somites (fss/tbx24) mutant, lack of intersomitic boundaries and epithelial somites is accompanied by a lack of Eph receptor/Ephrin signaling interfaces. These observations suggest a role for Eph/Ephrin signaling in the regulation of somite epithelialization.
Results: We show that restoration of Eph/Ephrin signaling in the paraxial mesoderm of fss mutants rescues most aspects of somite morphogenesis. First, restoration of bidirectional or unidirectional EphA4/Ephrin signaling results in the formation and maintenance of morphologically distinct boundaries. Second, activation of EphA4 leads to the cell-autonomous acquisition of a columnar morphology and apical redistribution of β-catenin, aspects of epithelialization characteristic of cells at somite boundaries. Third, activation of EphA4 leads to nonautonomous acquisition of columnar morphology and polarized relocalization of the centrosome and nucleus in cells on the opposite side of the forming boundary. These nonautonomous aspects of epithelialization may involve interplay of EphA4 with other intercellular signaling molecules.
Conclusions: Our results demonstrate that Eph/Ephrin signaling is an important component of the molecular mechanisms driving somite morphogenesis. We propose a new role for Eph receptors and Ephrins as intercellular signaling molecules that establish cell polarity during mesenchymal-to-epithelial transition of the paraxial mesoderm.


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Resource Links
9th JD Directory
9th JD Court Contact Info
18-B Applications NEW Power of Attorney Form
Ethics Opinion regarding multiple representation of title company and a party to real estate transaction County Clerk Online
Court ID Cards
OCA Attorney Listing
WCBA Mentoring Program
Research & Information (By Area Of Law)
Bar Associations Links
Sole Practitioners
Retiring? Plan Ahead
WCBA Mailing Labels
Attorney Client Fee Dispute Arbitration Program
Professional Responsibility & Ethics
Pro Bono Opportunities Lawyer Assistance Trust
The Ninth Judicial District Attorney-Client Fee Dispute Arbitration Program is administered through the Office of the Chief Administrative Judge. Any attorney-client fee disputes coming within the scope of Part 137 of the Rules of the Chief Administrator will be handled through this NJD program.
For those of you who would like to review a copy of the Rules please note that you may find them them on line by going to The New York State Unified Court System's home page. Both the Rules and the accompanying forms are available there. If you have a fee dispute with a client and plan on using this arbitration process, you can call Geraldine Kane at the Administrative Judge's office (914) 824-5340 for information and guidance.
They are still soliciting both attorney and non-attorney volunteers to preside over the fee dispute arbitrations. Anyone interested in participating is this program should submit his/her name, address, phone/fax and e-mail address to Hon. Francis A. Nicolai, Ninth Judicial District, 111 Dr. Martin Luther King Blvd, 11th Floor, White Plains, NY 10601, Attn: Fee Dispute Program.
There is a mandatory Orientation & Training Seminar for all fee dispute arbitration volunteers. The Ninth Judicial District will be running these sessions throughout the year. Experienced attorneys need only attend a 1 ½ hour orientation lecture, while inexperienced attorneys and laypersons will need to attend the full 6 ½ hours of training. Experienced attorneys will receive 1.5 ethics CLE credits and the inexperienced attorneys will receive 1.5 ethics credits and 5.0 professional skills credits. All volunteers will receive an announcement on when the next training session at the Court will take place.
For answers to Frequently Asked Questions about attorney client fee dispute arbitration, please click here for the FAQ section.
Lisa Florio, Judge Nicolai's Principal Law Clerk, is the program coordinator for the Ninth Judicial District. Geraldine Kane and Christopher Exias work cooperatively with Lisa to facilitate the program. Please feel free to contact them with any further inquiries or questions via e-mail mail to: email@example.com, or by phone, (914) 824-5340. Thank you.
Westchester County Bar Association | One North Broadway, Suite 512 | White Plains, NY 10601 | Telephone (914) 761-3707 | Fax (914) 761-9402 Copyright © 2014 Westchester County Bar Association. All Rights Reserved. Contact Us.


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Town Square
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"What do we want as a supervisor, and why would anyone want the job?"Dear Editors, (shared with local news media editors) Draft Committees met jointly to consider competitive candidates for...
Original post made by [removed] on Feb. 16, 2012Last comment by Informed Resident, on Mar 13, 2012 at 12:37 pm | 3 comments | 806 Views
Low Approval of Incumbent of District III Calls for ChallengerNomination and filing time remains for a District III challenger. The approval rating for the incumbent is so low, success...
Original post made by East County Watch on Feb. 25, 2012Last comment by Informed Resident, on Mar 13, 2012 at 12:09 pm | 12 comments | 791 Views
Lafayette man will run for county supervisorA long-time Lafayette resident will run for Contra Costa County District 2 supervisor to replace current supervisor Gayle...
Original post made on Feb. 24, 2012Last comment by Informed Resident, on Mar 13, 2012 at 11:42 am | 29 comments | 1371 Views
Neiman Marcus opens in Walnut Creek amid much fanfareThe first Neiman Marcus luxury department store opened in Walnut Creek's Broadway Plaza on Friday morning, as hundreds of...
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KB Homes: Wrecking our hillsides one acre at a timePerhaps a story ran here on D.E. a while back about this, but I am curious how many of my fellow Danville-ites are aware...
Original post made by Derek on Mar. 1, 2012Last comment by Concerned in Danville, on Mar 12, 2012 at 9:03 am | 39 comments | 2697 Views
Parents angered over proposed childcare changesThree San Ramon Valley Unified elementary schools may see changes to on-site childcare providers as the district's Board...
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Stroke support group of Contra Costa County meets March 12Stroke support group of Contra Costa County meets at 7 p.m. on the second Monday of every month (except August) at John Muir...
Original post made on Mar. 9, 2012Last comment by FanDanville, on Mar 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm | 1 comment | 572 Views
Supervisor Campains Should Focus on Solving Unfunded County DebtThe amount of debt this county owes to its employees should be the main subject of campaigns for Supervisors. The potentially...
Original post made by Concerned Debt on Mar. 4, 2012Last comment by The Queen, on Mar 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm | 42 comments | 1179 Views
'Dirty doctor' arrested in connection with death of San Ramon studentDr. Hsui-Ying "Lisa" Tseng was arrested and charged with second-degree murder on Thursday after several of her patients,...
Original post made on Mar. 5, 2012Last comment by cardinal, on Mar 8, 2012 at 10:37 am | 10 comments | 962 Views
'Reel Blondes' rockets back into townFor the first time since the Victoria's Hair & Spa Salon was sold four years ago, a San Ramon Valley cast "Reel Blondes"...
Original post made on Mar. 5, 2012Last comment by Bob Landy, on Mar 5, 2012 at 3:53 pm | 1 comment | 649 Views
Council cancels Independence Day pyrotechnics, makes plans for possible 'safe and sane' fireworksOn Tuesday night, the San Ramon City Council voted unanimously to eliminate the immensely popular July 4 aerial fireworks...
Original post made on Mar. 1, 2012Last comment by frankly , on Mar 5, 2012 at 6:25 am | 15 comments | 870 Views
Kids' Country - Coyote Creek San Ramon - Cited for Lack of SupervisionAfter serious debate on the Danville Express site, and after months of battling and investigations, I wanted all parents...
Original post made by Outspoken Parent on May. 27, 2011Last comment by Lisa, on Mar 3, 2012 at 12:14 am | 16 comments | 2090 Views
Streetwise: Religion and politicsAs the presidential election nears and debate between Republican hopefuls intensifies, Roving Reporter Stan Wharton went...
Original post made on Mar. 1, 2012Last comment by M, on Mar 2, 2012 at 12:52 pm | 3 comments | 600 Views
Tackling prostitution in Central AmericaRyan Mackle, 19, first traveled to Central America to help out at a village school in the Honduran jungle. But now he is...
Original post made on Mar. 1, 2012Last comment by A Ryan Supporter, on Mar 2, 2012 at 11:15 am | 2 comments | 690 Views
Coming to grips with the contraception kerfuffleIn this week's [http://danvilleexpress.com/square/index.php?i=3&d=&t=3531 Raucous Caucus] educator and recruiter Tom Cushing...
Original post made on Feb. 23, 2012Last comment by Danville, on Mar 1, 2012 at 5:46 pm | 21 comments | 1001 Views
A gentler Town Square ForumDear Editor, Readers, among neighborhoods e-exchanges are noticing gentler, more respectful commentary on the town square...
Original post made by CDSI Research on Feb. 21, 2012Last comment by [removed}, on Mar 1, 2012 at 9:32 am | 4 comments | 808 Views
Occupiers march to Castlewood Country ClubBetween 300 and 350 people turned out for last weekend's Occupy Pleasanton event to protest the lockout of workers from Castlewood...
Original post made on Mar. 1, 2012Last comment by Rick, on Mar 1, 2012 at 8:25 am | 1 comment | 574 Views
Teen arrested in Danville shootingDanville police announced Friday the arrest of a 15-year-old male from Alameda County in connection with the Tuesday night...
Original post made on Jan. 23, 2009Last comment by Cody, on Feb 29, 2012 at 10:04 pm | 37 comments | 3159 Views
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Original post made on Feb. 29, 2012Last comment by Martha Levison, on Feb 29, 2012 at 9:53 am | 1 comment | 581 Views
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Governor Jerry advocates fiscal discipline
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Switcher Hangout The place for switchers to discuss their new machines, and how to work with OS X. General support can be had here for newbie stuff, like "How do I restart my new iMac?" :) |
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Posts: 243
Mac Specs: 13" MacBook
I got a 12" ibook G4 right now and been thinking about upgrading to either a 15" PowerBook with the superdrive and upgrade the graphics card in it to 128MB or the 20" imac. what one would be best for playing games but i also wanna do my web page development on it. I figured if i got the PowerBook i would get the 20" Apple Cinemia display but I want to be able to play games on it also without any delay, would there be a difference in the power from the PB vs the Imac?
thanks matt |
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Location: USA
Posts: 614
Mac Specs: MacPro, MBP C2D, iMac G4
If you really want to play games you shoud get a tower. The main reason for getting a powerbook is for the portability. If you dont care about traveling with your computer, than get the imac. If you want to play games, but you want a portable computer, than keep your ibook and get an imac as well. It is silly to buy a 15" powerbook with intentions of buying a 20" display for it. Get the imac with the 20" display, keep ur ibook.
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New York International Salsa Congress Dance & Music Festival August 28–September 2 Get ready to salsa! Each Labor Day weekend in the City, the New York International Salsa Congress Dance & Music Festival comes to town, featuring four days and five nights of nonstop fun. Included are workshops, performances, competitions and live concerts with bands and DJs lasting well into the early morning hours. The 13th annual festival takes place at the New York Hilton Midtown.
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Check Your Local Listings! #OprahsAllStars The 52 Year Old Virgin: Melinda's Update
From: Episode 1
Last season on Ask Oprah's All Stars Melinda had revealed that she was still a virgin at 52 years old. Now she's back with an update on her romantic life.
Special thanks to the Westin Ka'anapali Ocean Resort Villas for Melinda's All Star Hawaiian Honeymoon! Go to the episode guide for "Ultimate Checklists." Published on September 12, 2011


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Wed, Feb 20, 2013
You have to be impressed with the state of the art as far as the LSA market is concerned. At this time, one would be hard pressed to name a serious GA avionics technology that isn't available in some form for the Light-Sport market... and at prices that will raise eyebrows and lighten pocketbooks.
One of the latest updates to Dynon's impressive SkyView offerings is the advent of ADS-B information and technology. The most recent update of SkyView now offers (when coupled with the SV-ADSB-470 UAT Band Traffic and Weather Receiver), highly desired weather features for US customers. SkyView's moving map can now display weather and TFRs in addition to the terrain, airspace and base map/cultural data it already provides, all while remaining clear and easy to understand thanks to SkyView smart map layering system. Weather can be displayed graphically and textually on SkyView, and includes NEXRAD radar, METARs, and TAFS. Additionally, airport weather data can be selected based on nearest or by airport identifier. All information displayed is free, with no monthly subscriptions, based on the FAA's ADS-B broadcast in the US.
When the SV-ADSB-470 is combined with either of Dynon's existing SV-XPNDR-26X Mode-S transponder modules, SkyView users have access to reliable, accurate traffic data. Nearby traffic threats can generate audio alerts to notify the pilot of possible collisions, even when the pilot us not actively looking at the display. Note that because the FAA's ADS-B system requires the aircraft to be ADS-B OUT equipped before traffic information is provided, Dynon now includes a software update to the existing transponder which updates it to the TSO C166B that enables it to work with the latest implementation of the FAA's ADS-B system. This is important, as the transponder-based ADS-B Out transmission wakes up the ADS-B ground stations and causes them to send a traffic portrait that includes all known ADS-B targets around the SkyView-equipped aircraft. This update also makes the SV-XPNDR-261 the only transponder on the experimental market that will be able to be used to satisfy the FAA's "2020 ADS-B Out mandate" (the SV-XPNDR-262, because of its lower output power class rating, won't be able to be used for 2020 mandate compliance). This transponder update also has the added feature of automatic ALT/GND mode changes based on air data and GPS information.
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His first album proper (following a collection of singles), and his best, from 1974. Bunalim and Baris Manco bassist Ahmet Guvenc rocking steady beneath EK's moody baritone and electric-baglama riff-outs.
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Hello all - I was wondering if there is still a discount for the Swan and Dolphin hotels using the Entertainment coupon books. I have one and can not find the hotel listed in it and was wondering if they discontinued that hotel............
Any help would be appreciated!
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For me Bevan and Viv are just above the others. Bevan is very hard to compare with. He batted much lower and his role was more of a saver than someone who would come in and start blasting away. He batted with the tail in numerous occasions and saw Australia over the line in so many matches. He was concerned with not getting out and just chipping away at the opposition at only the rate that was needed - sometimes he needed to play a few strokes and go for boundaries and he did but most often he just kept the runs ticking.
Viv needs little explanation. Everybody knows how good he was.
I think there'll sooner be another Bradman than another Warne. - Gidgeon Haigh
[Warne is] the greatest bowler ever produced in this entire world - Muttiah Muralidaran
[Warne is] the greatest bowler of all time - Glenn McGrath
In my opinion Shane Warne is the greatest cricketer who's ever lived - Ian Botham
Warne is the greatest cricketer to pick up a ball ever.
And is the greatest bowler I have ever laid eyes on. - Brian Lara
"I want to raise my hand and say one thing. Those who complain about my love for the game or commitment to the game are clueless. These are the only 2 areas where I give myself 100 out of 100."
- Sachin Tendulkar, as told in an interview published in Bengali newspaper Anandabazar Patrika after his 100th International century (translated by weldone)
I just thought about who I would want in the centre if my side had to chase down a total. Lots of batsmen can score runs fast. Bevan's talent was to do it under pressure when it mattered.
Yes, that's how I saw it too.
There are many batsmen in the Sachin/Richards/Ponting mould, maybe weaker a little, but there is no one like Bevan - Hussey has done well so far but not carried Australia like Bevan yet. Bevan is the first name you'd write down and that all has to do with his value and incomparability.
We miss you, Fardin. :(. RIP.
A cricket supporter forever
Member of CW Red and AAAS - Appreciating only the best.
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The NZTailender Supporting XI:
H Rutherford, N Broom, Craig Cachopa, M Bracewell, D Brownlie, BJ Watling, D de Boorder+, I Sodhi, B Wheeler, H Bennett, A Milne
Go Tigers!
R.I.P. Fardin & Craig
I agree that Bevan is one of the best ODI players of all time, but if you put a bunch of other top class batsman as low down as Bevan was, they'd probably have a similar record.
I watched pretty much the entire career of Bevan, and he was exceptional at what he did, but I feel at least 5-6 other great ODI batsmen could have done the same type of job coming in his situation.
"The future light cone of the next Indian fast bowler is exactly the same as the past light cone of the previous one"
-My beliefs summarized in words much more eloquent than I could come up with
How the Universe came from nothing
Bevan has always fascinated me greatly. One of the great myths, though, is that he always batted down the order. He batted down the order for most of his career, but he also had 53 innings at #4, which is still a top order position IMO.
2265 runs @ 60 in that position FWIW, with a SR of 70. He averaged more at #4 than he did in any other position.
~ Cribbage
Yes, I know about this, and if he had played more of his career there with that average, I'd agree with you. The S/R of 70 is low, but the average more than makes up for that. Even overall, his S/R is close to Rahul Dravid. Obviously he is a much better ODI batsman than Dravid, but unlike in Tests, S/R in ODIs plays a part. You need a big average to make up for that.
Last edited by silentstriker; 29-05-2008 at 08:42 AM.
Though obviously, he'd be a guarantee in my all time ODI side along with Viv Richards, Tendulkar, and Garner.
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Blue Flag. Malaga, Feb 2014.
123 Victoria Street. London, Jan 2014.
New Walk Centre, Leicester. July 2012.
Strangely pretty yet apocalyptic yellow sky over Notts, five minutes ago.
Through the sky mirror. Nottingham, January 2013.
Northern Quarter, Manchester. October 2012.
Behind Oxford Street. London, October 2012.
Loughborough station. July 2012.
Shiny supermarket. Loughborough, July 2012.
Rusty rollercoaster. Brighton Pier, June 2012.
Liverpool One, April 2012.
Liverpool One. April 2012.
Hotel, Cardiff, 18/12/2011.
Cardiff sunrise. 18/12/2011.
Pylon fun. Nottingham, 03/12/2011.
Go to Red and White 2.0 | Tumblr Themes to view the theme page.Please send me a message if you have a question or comment.
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Pennsylvania Ski Getaways
Blue Mountain Ski Area. Blue Mountain Ski Area has the makings for an epic day on the slopes. Blue Mountain offers the most vertical feet and the highest vertical drop of any ski resort in Pennsylvania, 30 ski trails and three runs that stretch over a mile long, night skiing, a 400-foot halfpipe, and 14 tubing lanes. Ski and snowboard lessons and rental equipment are available for children and adults. Blue Mountain Ski Area is located in the Pocono Mountains. Visit www.skibluemt.com. [Top]
Bear Creek Mountain Resort. Bear Creek Mountain Resort offers 21 ski and snowboard trails for all skill levels, snowtubing, terrain parks that cover 13 acres and feature 30 freestyle obstacles for skiers and snowboarders, lessons, and spa services. Bear Creek's extensive lessons program includes group and private lessons, skills clinics for women, master's ski clinics, and the Burton Learn to Ride snowboard program. For families with children too young to ski or snowboard, Bear Creek offers childcare services. Visit www.skibearcreek.com. [Top]
Camelback Mountain Resort. Camelback Mountain Resort in Tannersville is the perfect Pennsylvania ski destination for diehards who love to ski or snowboard all day and all night. All of Camelback's 33 trails are lighted for night skiing. The resort features 15 chairlifts, including two high-speed quads to maximize time on the mountain. Camelback Mountain also offers three terrain parks and two halfpipes, which are also lighted for nighttime activity. Private and group ski and snowboard lessons are available for adults and children. Visit www.skicamelback.com. [Top]
Shawnee Mountain. Located in the eastern Pocono Mountains, Shawnee Mountain is a favorite ski resort for beginners and families. The resort offers 23 trails with snowmaking capabilities on all trails, two terrain parks, and five snow tubing lanes open to all ages. Shawnee Mountain offers a variety of ski and snowboard lessons, and is recognized among the best ski schools in the country for its children's lesson programs. Visit www.shawneemt.com. [Top]
Other Lehigh Valley Ski Areas
- Jack Frost & Big Boulder Ski Area
Address: PO Box 1539, Blakeslee, PA 18610
Phone: 570-443-8425
Website: www.jfbb.com - Alpine Mountain
Address: Route 447 North, PO Box 309, Analomink, PA 18320
Phone: 570-595-2150
Website: www.alpinemountain.com - Ski Big Bear
Address: HC1 BOX 1A 353, Lackawaxen, PA 18435
Phone: 570-685-1400
Website: www.ski-bigbear.com [Top]
Holiday Inn Conference Center Lehigh Valley
Email: firstname.lastname@example.com
Privacy & Security Policy | Trademark Statement
7736 Adrienne Drive, Breinigsville, Pennsylvania 18031
Phone: 610-391-1000 Fax: 610-391-1664Privacy & Security Policy | Trademark Statement


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Written by: 11/6/2013 6:45 PM
Lerner Publishing Group announced today the launch of the Lerner Digital™eReader App for Android devices. With more than 3,000 eBooks available across age levels, interests, and genres, the app allows educators, parents,and readers to select, download, and read from among Lerner Publishing Group's eBook collection, including nonfiction series and single titles, picture books, graphic novels, chapter books and young adult novels.
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