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Fashion Museum
Assembly Rooms
Bennett Street
Collection enquiries
Group bookings/ General Information
Enquiries/Group Bookings
01225 477173
Assembly Rooms
01225 477789
Enquiries/Group Bookings
01225 477743
A world class collection of contemporary and historical dress. Located in the magnificent Georgian Assembly Rooms, the Fashion Museum offers more than 150 figures dressed in original garments on display. Special displays for 2010/11: 'Photographing Fashion: British Style in the 1960s' continuing to end 2010; 'The Diana Dresses' until 9 January 2011;'Turn of the Century including Helmut Lang' continuing throughout 2010'
The entire collection of this museum is a Designated Collection of national importance.
Venue Type:
Additional info
Free audioguide in one of 7 languages
Cafe open daily
Gift shop and fashion bookshop
Group discount (20+)
Child carriers and babychanging facilities
Special guided tours and illustrated talks
Fully accessible to wheelchair users
Study facilities need to be booked, see website for details
The entire collection of The Fashion Museum is a Designated Collection of national importance.
The collection at the Fashion Museum includes over 30,000 items of fashionable dress for men, women and children from the late 16th century to the present day. From shifts and corsets to Lycra and Versace, the collection is the most amazing resource if you want to find out more about fashion history.
Within the collection there are a number of individual collections of clothes and fashion accessories, such as the Dress of the Year collection from the 1960s to the present day.
Collection details
Costume and Textiles
Key artists and exhibits
- Georgian costume
- Victorian costume
- Corsets
- 20th century fashion
- Mary Quant
- John Bates
- Ossie Clark
- Jean Muir
- Bill Gibb
- Georgio Armani
- John Galliano
- Ralph Lauren
- Alexander McQueen
- Donatella Versace
- Alber Elbaz
- Designated Collection
Dance the night away
Get into a fashion frenzy and create designs to dazzle.
Free activity with admission to the museum. Bath & North East Somerset residents free with a Residents' Discovery Card.
Suitable for
Dance the night away
Get into a fashion frenzy and create designs to dazzle.
Free activity with admission to the museum. Bath & North East Somerset residents free with a Residents' Discovery Card.
Suitable for
- About
- | Collections
- | Events
- | Resources
- | Map


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Cinnamon "Churro Waffle" Triangles
Alternative post title: "What to Do When You Don't Have a Waffle Iron"
Last Friday, sci-fi writing legend John Scalzi found Chica Chocolatina's recipe for Churro Waffles and proceeded to get very excited about them, getting the rest of the internet both excited about them and very hungry in the process.
The recipe itself is nice and simple when it comes to ingredients, as long as you've got cinnamon in the house. But there was a bit of a problem stopping me from using it...
I don't own a waffle iron. Waffle irons aren't really much of a thing in the UK (because waffles aren't either) and I'd have to order one online to even get hold of one.
I despaired. And despaired. And despaired some more.
But while I was despairing, loudly, about my lack of waffle iron, chef-y housemate reminded me that we have a certain utensil in our house that serves the same function (two hot plates keeping the contents sealed).
With the missing link now in place, it was just a case of putting together the recipe. Easy peasy. And thus, a Scottish spin on churro waffles (called "Cinnamon "Churro Waffle" Triangles" with the subtitle "they're sort of like pancakes or doughnuts" because of my friends don't know what churros are*) was born and hastily consumed!
So that's how my Saturday morning sugar overdose happened, along with the rest of the household and everyone else who set foot in our door that day. And it's all that damn sci-fi writer's fault.
*Really there's no 'sort of' about it -- churros are doughnuts. But this recipe isn't deep-friend so the resulting treat is more like a pancake is texture.

subset: commoncrawl


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- KRS (About Us)
- KRS (Contact Us)
- Back to CHHS Home
- Academic Center for Excellence
- Academic Advising and Retention Center
WKU Information for:
Nonprofit Administration
Welcome to the WKU Nonprofit Administration website. We are pleased to offer innovative programs designed to better prepare students for careers in, and service to, the nonprofit sector.
With approximately 1.5 million nonprofit organizations in the USA, and many NGOs (non-governmental organizations) throughout the world, numerous career opportunities exist. Students from almost any academic discipline will likely find nonprofit organizations in need of their skills.
Our WKU Nonprofit Administration programs include:
- Undergraduate Minor (reference #422)
- Graduate Certificate online only (reference #0463)
- Option for a national certification and professional credential
through our affiliation with the Nonprofit Leadership Alliance.
Thank you for visiting our site. I look forward to visiting with you to see how we can help you prepare for the nonprofit sector. For more information about these opportunities, please contact Dr. Raymond Poff
firstname.lastname@example.com | http://www.wku.edu/nonprofit/ | ||||
@WKUnonprofit | http://www.facebook.com/WKUnonprofit/ |
New Graduate Program in Nonprofit Administration
WKU news story about the new online graduate certificate program - Nonprofit Administration.
Facebook page for WKU Nonprofit Administration
WKU Nonprofit Administration now has a Facebook page.


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There are also external scholarships, fellowships, and grants available to graduate students. This list includes some of the available scholarships search engines. Read all requirements and privacy statements carefully as these sites may share your personal information with third parties, and beware of scholarship scams.
You can also contact the Department of Education in your state of residence to learn about grant, scholarship, and/or loan repayment funding that may be available. The federal Department of Education Contacts page contains contact information for the Department of Education within each state.
Fielding alumni reside in all 50 states, Washington, D.C., and 31 countries.


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This is a total mobility exercise for the quadriceps, hips, piriformis, glutes, low back and… more
Deadlift Lat Engagement (Arm Against Ribs) Drill
This is a drill that emphasizes the use of the lats in the deadlift. more
Dorsiflexion RNT Closed Chain with FMT
This closed chain exercise helps develop dorsiflexion ankle mobility. more
TGU High Pelvis to Bend Kneeling Dorsiflexion Mobilization
This is a mobility drill for ankle dorsiflexion as part of the Turkish Get Up high pelvis to bend… more
TGU Knee to Half Kneeling Two Handed Bottoms Up Press
This is a mobility and stability drill designed to improve rotation as part of the Turkish Get Up… more
TGU Roll to Press Active Straight Leg Raise
This is a drill to increase mobility of the hamstrings and stability of the core and hips as part of… more


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Providing easy, online access to government information on food and human nutrition for consumers.
A service of the National Agricultural Library, USDA.
A service of the National Agricultural Library, USDA.
In the News More...
The USDA is offering these interactive and exploratory lessons as a creative way to connect school gardens with nutrition messages in the classroom, school cafeteria, and at home.
The Eat Smart, Live Strong Activity Kit is now consistent with the Dietary Guidelines for Americans & MyPlate. This intervention, for 60-74 year olds participating in or eligible for FNS nutrition assistance programs, can be downloaded from the SNAP-Ed Connection!
You can create your own personalized cookbook by adding recipes you've selected from the SNAP-Ed Recipe Finder database, or you can choose one of the fixed cookbook options available in several categories. Start building your cookbook today!
Spotlights More...


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Seven Interview Outfits for Under $100
I'm not really sure who said "you've gotta spend money to make money," but I think they were right—to a point. Wearing classic, polished staples— a solid blazer, a printed pencil skirt, a tailored sheath—will help you land a good job, but there's no reason to spend entire paychecks you don't have yet while buying them.
Instead, stock up on these affordable options, then go crazy on fancy work clothes once you get the job. (I'm pretty sure everyone in this office has done that at some point, me included.) Until then, shop these you'd-be-stupid-not-to-hire-me outfits, each of which is smart and stylish and under $100:
Keep up with the Lucky team on Twitter: Follow @LuckyMagazine
- outfits
- under $100
- shoppable
- outfits
- under $100
- shoppable
- NEXT POST: Get the Best Brows at Bombay Brow Bar
- PREVIOUS POST: Cute Outfit of the Day: July 10, 2012


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Click on Funded Ideas tab to view winning ideas. Register now to receive an email when the next round of applications opens!
Project Local is a new community initiative brought to you by your NewsLocal newspaper.
To get started, register here, and download the Information Booklet, which will tell you everything you need to know about submitting and voting for ideas.
Look out for your NewsLocal newspaper to keep up to date with Project Local ideas from your community.
Project Local – helping build better community life.
Project Local – helping build better community life.


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Air Quality: Green |
Air Quality: Yellow |
Air Quality: Yellow |
City of Alexandria, VA
Community OutreachWe at the Alexandria Sheriff's Office take pride in serving and connecting with the people of Alexandria. Community outreach is a consistent goal of our Office; this mandate is regularly evidenced regularly in everything we do. Connecting through communications is one example of how the Office maintains ties with the Alexandria community. Through its quarterly newsletter, website, contribution of news stories and public service announcements, and the Annual Report, the Sheriff's Office keeps Alexandria informed and educated. The Sheriff's Office shares information regularly about its operations, accomplishments, and community partnerships. Please click here for the latest on the Sheriff's Office "In the News". Connecting by giving back lets others know that we care. Sheriff's Office staff show their compassion for people by a regular and active giving campaign. Food drives, clothing drives and an annual toy drive show help demonstrate that staff are aware of the needs of others. Each Fall, the Alexandria Sheriff's Association conducts its annual Clothing Drive, continuing a long Sheriff's Office tradition of giving to those who need our help. Feeding the less fortunate has been important to Sheriff's Office staff, who twice yearly, come together to collect and donate canned goods, money and other non-perishables which are delivered to local food banks. Each year, Sheriff's Office staff help deliver hundreds of Thanksgiving turkeys and trimmings to Hopkins House, distributes the food to needy families. Lastly, the holiday season is not complete without the Sheriff's Office annual Toy Give-Away. Partnering with the Marine Corps Toys for Tots Program, the Sheriff's Office gave out hundreds of toys to children of individuals incarcerated at the Alexandria Detention Center. Connecting to our youth means sponsorship and participation in activities that support Alexandria's Youth. From our annual Youth Academy, Senior Experience internships and Operation Warm coat drive; and our participation in City sponsored programs, such as Project Sticker Shock (right), the Sheriff's Office contributes in real and fundamental ways to the health, welfare and safety of Alexandria's youth and children. Connecting means that we are there. At events all around the City, Sheriff's staff is there, participating as members of the community, or providing valuable public safety services to make the day enjoyable for all. Each year, the Sheriff's Office joins Alexandria's neighborhoods in celebrating the City's First Night, Del Ray's First Thursdays, the annual Art on the Avenue events, National Night Out, and countless parades and local special events. Alexandria Sheriff's Office Youth Academy a Success!This year's Youth Academy, held August 6-10, 2012, was deemed a rousing success by the youth participants, parents and Sheriff's Office staff! Eighteen students graduated from the four-day academy, which focused on choices and gave the youth a first hand education of life at the Sheriff's Office. Activities included demonstrations by the Sheriff's Emergency Response Team (SERT) and Sherman, the Office's bomb-sniffing canine, tours of the jail and courthouse, an afternoon exploring the Office's emergency vehicles, and culminated in a mock sentencing hearing exercise and graduation ceremonies held at the Alexandria Courthouse, with Assistant Commonwealth's Attorny Bryan Porter delivering the keynote speech. The 18 graduates were Mieron Asfaha, Jomar Bonilla, Diondre Charlton, Crystal Davis, Madison Ignacio, Tamiya Johnson, Peter Laboy, Lorenzo Lipscomb, Khayri Lucien, Jacob McVicker, Aba Morrison, Delilah Morritz, Kayla Pierce, Marcus Rodriguez, Elijah Robinson, Bryce Roper, Jailen Staten and Ryan Thaxton. To sign up for the 2013 Youth Academy, download a flyer and application now. Alexandria Students Find Mentors and FriendsStudents in several elementary schools around the City are now used to seeing Deputy Sheriffs in uniform -- right in their classrooms, cafeterias and libraries. New programs initiated by the Sheriff's Office bring Sheriff's staff up close and personal with elementary students as part of the "Lunch Buddies" program and a new mentoring program for children at Charles Barrett School. Under the Lunch Buddies program, Sheriff's Office staff have lunch each month with students at different elementary schools to connect with and encourage students to do their best. As mentors, staff meet regularly to read with their students, help them solve problems and improve socially and academically. Serving Our SeniorsMaking life easier for our senior citizens is important to us at the Sheriffs Office. We serve our citizens through several programs that benefit their health and safety. The Sheriff's Office is a proud partner with Meals on Wheels to bring nutritious food to senior citizens who would otherwise not eat. Sheriff's Office staff join regularly with other Meals on Wheels volunteers to deliver lunch to seniors at their homes, despite the weather. The Sheriff's Office's TRIAD program brings Sheriff's staff up front and personal with concerned senior citizens to help them learn how to keep themselves and their homes safe from crime. TRIAD meetings are also welcome receptions for seniors to meet and greet. We love our seniors! |


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4. | brown bag | ||
Copulation with a member of the opposite sex facilitated by placing a grocery bag over their head, usually because they have a bangin bod, but a busted grill. guy1: Damn dude! Check out that ass!
guy2: *whistles* *hottie turns around, acne all over* both in unison: Aww...damn! guy1: Well, I'd still brown bag her. guy2: *nods while shaking head* |
1. | Brown Bag | ||
i.e. what happens to a butterface
- When a female has an extremely sexually appealing body, but ridiculously ugly face, one is forced to place a brown bag upon her head (maybe draw a face on it, or if you're nice cut some holes for breathing purposes) before having sex with her. 1: "Dude, that chick is such a butterface"
2: "Yeah, i'd brown bag that sh*t though" |
2. | brown bag | ||
a girl who is too ugly to fuck but you would fuck her with a bag over her head avril lavigne
3. | Brown Bag | ||
Informal Lunch meeting in a company, where one person (from any department) volunteers to talk about a specific topic. Topic is usually related to the technology, business or market that company is in. Attendence is encouraged, but not compulsory. If your boss is going to attend, then to suck up to him/her, you may also want to attend. The Brown Bag term came up because everyone walks in with their lunch in brown bags, as the comapny does not pay for that lunch. Sometimes, sucker employees volunteer to speak at brown bag to show off their knowledge. Hey, today at the brown bag, Jim, from TSD department, is going to talk up about nano technology.
5. | Brown Bag | ||
This phenomenon occurs when one is in the process of defecating. In order to occur, the fecal flux must be a single, uninterrupted outflow, creating a log of such magnitude that the stool reaches the bottom of the bowl before being released. Once this delicate equilibrium is broken, the crap proceeds to fall forwards, gently tickling the underside of your testicular sac, leaving a brown deposit in its wake. This rare occurrence is known as the "brown bag". -dude, your toilet bowl is so shallow, it gives me brown bags all the time!!
6. | brown bag | ||
Slang for beer. Usually a 40 of cheap malt liquor. Often found on the streets of Los Angeles. "Yo i wanna get fuckin crunk man."
"But check it. I only got 4 bucks. Let's brown bag it" |
7. | Brown bag | ||
this word means basically whatever you want it to mean. You use it in a sentence to make people around you wonder what the hell your talkind about. They'll ask, "Whats a brown bag?" I usually respond,"Sorry, can't tell you. Its a secret." Quit brown bagin around the place like your some sort of magic man; Why can't you just be like everyone else and clean your brown bag every once in a while?


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"Tie"riffic Father's Day CardsBy: Tania Willis for Fiskars Wish dads, grandpas, and brothers a Happy Father's Day with these "Tie"riffic Father's Day Cards from Fiskars. These adorable cards and coupon books will be a huge hit with the guys in your life, and this is one tie that dad will surely be happy to receive! Materials:
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Jackson Campus
Don't just study theology—live it in community and be shaped for ministry.
This is layout
magic is in jqueryMore
Orlando Campus
A state-of-the-art campus serving in a diverse metropolitan area of over 2 million people
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magic is in jqueryMore
Charlotte Campus
Dedicated to producing pastor/scholars in the beautiful city of Charlotte.
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Atlanta Campus
Convenient, flexible, biblical education within a global community context.
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Dr. Steven Childers joined RTS in 1995 and regularly teaches practical ministry courses on evangelism, missions, church planting and spiritual formation. Dr. Childers also directs the school's Doctor of Ministry program.
In addition to earning graduate degrees from Covenant Theological Seminary and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Dr. Childers completed the Doctor of Ministry program at RTS Orlando and has done doctoral studies in global mission at Fuller Theological Seminary's School of World Mission. His research and ministry has focused on Gospel-centered church planting and global missions.
Dr. Childers is an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in America and served as a church planter and senior pastor for churches in urban and suburban contexts for 15 years. Dr. Childers currently serves as president of Global Church Advancement, an interdenominational ministry that provides training, consultation and resources for church planters, pastors and missionaries throughout the world. Dr. Childers frequently speaks at international conferences and has trained church leaders from more than 40 countries, representing over 120 denominations and mission agencies.
Students enjoy Dr. Childers' enthusiasm for Christian mission and his passionate focus on the transforming power of the gospel. He and his wife Becky have three daughters: Angela, Cara and Laura.


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Install Travis Porter Photo Automatically to Your Profile:
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This FREE Travis Porter Image can be used for many purposes. You can post this Travis Porter Picture on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook, Hi5, Friendster and More! You can even save this Travis Porter Graphic and use it for personal purposes. Don't forget to check out more Travis Porter Photos in our Rap Music categories!
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Silas and Nancy's lawyer assist her in getting to California as her custody battle with Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) heats up. Meanwhile, Andy's relationship takes an intriguing turn; Shane decides to give it the old college try and enrolls in classes; and Doug is left to fend for himself at his job on Wall Street.


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The Hotel courtyard was the nicest place I have stayed in during my travels in India. the staff are very polite and helpful. The rooms are absolutely top notch and well appointed. But the star of the plane is the building itself. The courtyard us fantastic and has awesome spaces where you can snuggle in with a cup if coffee... More
- Also Known As:
- Courtyard Hotel Kathmandu
- Courtyard Kathmandu
- Kathmandu Courtyard
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- East meets West in this 25 room boutique property. Built in traditional Newari architecture with European- inspired interiors, this hotel combines old-world elegance with the comforts of modern times. The Hotel Courtyard is located on a quiet street in the heart of the popular tourist district, Thamel ,steps away from many restaurants, shops and popular Kathmandu tourist attractions. ... more less


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Change your regional location. Enter your zip code below and click on Change Location.
By leveraging departmental cooperation, Monsanto hopes to bring yields to a new level in its push to feed the world.
USDA Risk Management Agency says insurance companies can allow haying and grazing until May 22, if they so choose.
The Farm Progress Hay Expo heads to northeast Iowa for its 2013 show.
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Browse News Stories
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Mystery E. Coli Genes Essential For Survival Of Many Species
July 13, 2009 Scientists have shown that E. coli - one of the best known and extensively studied organisms in the world - remains an enigma that may hold the key to human diseases, such as cancer.Scientists have ... > full story -
Dogs, Humans, Put Heads Together To Find Cure For Brain Cancer
July 6, 2009 Pinpointing the genes involved in human brain cancer can be like looking for a needle in a haystack, and sometimes the needle you find may not be the right ... > full story -
Experts Call For Federal Regulation Of Genetic Ancestry Testing
July 2, 2009 The need for a clear set of rules governing genetic ancestry testing is becoming more urgent, according to experts, given the proliferation of private corporations that promise consumers insight into ... > full story -
Did Evolution Make Us Cancer Prone?
July 2, 2009 Researchers have discovered that gene mutations that once helped humans survive may increase the possibility for diseases, including ... > full story -
Colorectal Cancer Risk Increased By Single-Base Change In The Human Genome
June 29, 2009 A single-base change in the human genome increases the risk of colorectal ... > full story -
Platypus Helps Illuminate Ovarian Cancer
June 26, 2009 Researchers believe our oldest mammalian relative may help us to better understand ovarian cancer. DNA mapping of the platypus has uncovered an interesting relationship between their sex chromosomes ... > full story -
54-Million-Year-Old Skull Reveals Early Evolution Of Primate Brains
June 22, 2009 Researchers have developed the first detailed images of a primitive primate brain, unexpectedly revealing that cousins of our earliest ancestors relied on smell more than ... > full story -
DNA Template Could Explain Evolutionary Shifts
June 21, 2009 Rearrangements of all sizes in genomes, genes and exons can result from a glitch in DNA copying that occurs when the process stalls at a critical point and then shifts to a different genetic ... > full story -
Humans More Related To Orangutans Than Chimps, Study Suggests
June 18, 2009 New evidence underscores the theory of human origin that suggests humans most likely share a common ancestor with orangutans. The researchers reject as "problematic" the popular suggestion, based on ... > full story -
Darwin Killed Off The Werewolf
June 16, 2009 It was Darwinian theory that did away with the werewolf. The publication of Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species exactly 150 years ago focused minds on a different kind of monster – ... > full story
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Number of stories in archives: 137,189


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Introducing the New ScoreSelectSM Option
It just got easier to start your future now with the GRE® revised General Test
Getting an advanced degree can open the door to a world of opportunities. And the GRE® revised General Test — the most widely accepted admissions test for graduate and business school — can help you get there. It features a test-taker friendly design, which gives you the flexibility to use more of your own personal test-taking style and strategies. With the new ScoreSelectSM option, you can decide which test scores to send to the institutions you designate. Knowing you'll have the option to send the scores you feel reflect your personal best can help you approach test day with more confidence. Plus, the GRE revised General Test is the one test accepted by thousands of graduate and business schools worldwide.
Here's how it works:
On test day, when viewing your scores at the test center*, you can select the:
- ScoreSelect Most Recent option — Send your scores from your current test administration (FREE).
- ScoreSelect All option — Send your scores from all General Test administrations in the last five years (FREE).
You can decide which option to use for each of your four free score reports.
After test day, you can send Additional Score Reports for a fee by selecting from the following:
- ScoreSelect Most Recent option — Send your scores from your most recent test administration.
- ScoreSelect All option — Send your scores from all test administrations in the last five years.
- ScoreSelect Any option — Send your scores from one OR many test administrations in the last five years.
Scores for a test administration must be reported in their entirety. Regardless of whether you choose the Most Recent, All or Any option, you will select specific test administration dates so your scores are all from the same testing session. Institutions will receive score reports that show only the scores that you selected to send to them. There will be no special indication if you have taken additional GRE® tests. If you are unsure of which scores to send, refer to the GRE score reporting policies for the graduate and business programs to which you are applying.
ScoreSelect Option Availability
The new ScoreSelect option is available for both the GRE revised General Test and GRE Subject Tests, and can be used by anyone with reportable scores from the last five years.
Getting Ready
Just knowing you have the option to decide which GRE scores to send to institutions should give you added confidence the first time you take the test. However, if you decide you want to take a GRE test again, that's okay. You can do so once every 30 days, depending on test center availability.
To help you do your best on test day, you can start getting ready with free and low-cost test preparation materials for the GRE revised General Test and the GRE Subject Tests — from ETS, the makers of the GRE tests.
More good news! New and expanded test preparation materials for the GRE revised General Test are available now. To learn more about them, sign up for important test-taker news and updates about the GRE revised General Test.
*If you are taking the paper-based GRE revised General Test or a GRE Subject Test, you will select your options prior to test day.
See also:


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For the ladies, I love this look of Tiffani aka Kelly off of one of my favorite tv shows, Save The Bell. Suspenders with a short bustier or a bandeau bra is definitely a fly look. Wear a pair of boyfriend jeans for a casual look or you could dress this up with a pair of harem pants.
Ain't nothin realer than NWA back in 1987. Gold ropes, black & white plain shirts, and black snapbacks= the classic flava of the california gangstas. fellas try this look with a kings or raiders snapback..
Hope this inspired you, Enjoy!


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Hurricane Katrina
The latest news on Hurricane Katrina
Experts are predicting a particularly strong hurricane season.
Hurricanes the size of Katrina could occur much more frequently due to rising ocean temperatures.
States must assume responsibility for what happens in their backyards.
Large scale disaster is best handled on the state and local level.
Just like businesses must prepare for a hurricane, they are preparing for the negative effects of the fiscal cliff.
Floods from Hurricane Isaac, moving across Louisiana at just 6 mph, have left a half a million powerless.
Major improvements have been made to the city's levees and floodwalls since Hurricane Katrina.
As Hurricane Isaac approaches on Hurricane Katrina's anniversary, let's reflect on what we should expect government to do.
The large, wet storm is headed for the Gulf Coast on the seventh anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.
GOP 2012 candidate denounces FEMA as natural disasters plague the country.


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Easy-going and laid back, the Dylan is one of the first casuals built on our next-generation casual sole.
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Heather: [QB] Do you have any ongoing friendships -- not sexual or romantic relationships -- with people that are close? [/QB][/QUOTE]
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Member # 39778
I'm currently at a point in my life where I feel rather distanced from myself. I recently initiated a break from someone who I care about a lot, and I'm trying to tease out all of the factors that played a role in that event. Very reluctantly, I've arrived at the topic of sexual attraction. I haven't really experienced what it's like to enthusiastically want sex with someone. To me, sex has always felt like a medium for other things/issues in the relationship...i.e. affirmation, closeness, emotional appreciation. It's never been much of a physical desire for me (at least with my actual partners), and I don't know whether I've just been with the wrong people in the wrong circumstances, or whether I'm not a physical person, or what.
I've always felt like I had to cajole myself along in my past encounters... Even kissing initially seemed like a mental hurdle for me to get over. Because these things felt so stilted and scary, I would often retreat into a "sexual mode" where I would sort of silence my anxieties and retreat into a kind of character (one that knew technical and attitude-based ways to please). If I acted in line with my own nature, the encounter was never natural or flowing. Sometimes I wonder whether I have problems with intimacy.
Sometimes I've found my previous partners very attractive with their clothes on, but not wanted to see them shirtless etc. I've admired their hair and their faces and their hands. I've found them beautiful in many ways. But in all honesty, I've not been terribly driven towards sex before.
I've enjoyed the sensation of someone touching me and being inside me, but it never felt like an attraction to the specific person I was with. More just like enjoyment of the sex itself. Does that sound odd? I've never been driven by desire to touch someone sexually (i.e. below the belt or oral sex). That were always done in an effort to please. Things that come more naturally to me have included: increasing proximity to people by pulling them towards me, hugging, kissing their neck, touching their hands, messing with their hands.
I've vividly fantasized about people before, but only rarely do those fantasies involve me. It's this weird distancing, perhaps. I feel like I can imagine what it's like to wholly want someone, but I've never experienced it firsthand. I can definitely imagine it when watching couples in movies. I'm sort of starting to wonder whether I'm asexual. There are so many distinctions.....Aesthetic appreciation, physical attraction, sexual attraction.. I don't know. Is there any way to clarify some of this?
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
Hi she_who_questions,
I'm wondering about what you said in your first sentence, that you're feeling distanced from yourself. Could you say more about that in general, since it seems to be a theme throughout your narrative.
I'm also wondering if you ever shared your own feelings or desires around physical closeness with any of your partners?
Member # 39778
Hi Robin,
When I say I feel distanced from myself, I mostly mean that I don't understand (or haven't come to terms with) what drives me to do certain things in relationships. I know that I've felt extremely close with most of those I've cared about, almost to the point of pain, and there was always a certain heaviness in my mind about that. I find those real connections so rarely, and I cherish them when I do. They are most often with guys, simply because I feel more able to share the full range of my own experience with them. A lot of the time we may have a very observant, flirtatious sort of dynamic, and sometimes that gets misread. Probably I'm an equal party in that confusion, but I'm mostly just being myself.
I have shared some of my concerns with previous partners at certain points, i.e. just wanting to lie with them instead of having sex, the fact that initiating sexual interaction is a hurdle, that sex doesn't come naturally to me, the fact that I don't seem to have many "wants" when I'm with someone sexually firsthand, the reality that I'm very protective of my mental separate-ness, etc. But they don't seem to know what to do with that and neither do I.
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
HI She Who Questions:
I'm unclear on what you mean by the dynamic between you and your partners being misread. Can you say more about that?
You mentioned in your first post that there are distinctions...you listed physical attraction, aesthetic appreciation, sexual attraction; these are all, I would say, part of sexuality, and to what extent they're part of sexuality is going to vary based on each person and quite often based on where each person is in their life.
I'm wondering if you might find it helpful to read this article:
I think you're saying that you've identified a pattern of reactions and behaviours you have in relationships and you're not sure where those come from or why you enact them. Or have the things you've done in each relationship been different?
I'm also wondering if you could say more about the intense, almost painful, closeness you feel to a partner versus your need for mental separateness.
Member # 39778
Hi Robin,
I guess what I mean about the dynamic being misread is this: I often flirt and become very conversationally intimate with guys without necessarily wanting to pursue a physical relationship with them. They tend to think I'm being suggestive, but I don't don't step over the line and initiate anything more substantial. I may even find them physically intriguing, but I still don't usually want sex per se. After a while though, I feel guilty for not giving people what they want or expect from me.
To me, it feels like a weird denial of reality to ignore the fact that many of my friend(s) are of the opposite sex. I enjoy discussing attraction, the nuances between men and women, and playing with categories. It's really conversational exploration in my eyes.
Admittedly, I do sometimes know how to make people find me attractive via verbal interactions, and I have a tendency to exercise or practice that on occasion (although I generally try to keep it in check).
As far as the "intense, painful" closeness...I adore my friends and partners (usually the line is somewhat blurred) to the point where I really invest myself in their lives. I appreciate their thinking, find them uniquely beautiful, want them to succeed, and will do most anything to help them see past their hindrances. It sometimes takes a lot from me, and I know that I need to monitor that because it can be unhealthy if taken too far. I feel like each one of my friends/partners understands me well, although aspects of my personality resonate in different ways with different people).
When I say heaviness I just mean awe, appreciation, and love. It weighs heavily on me because I really treasure these people. I don't find true connections as often as I'd like.
My need for mental separate-ness refers both to the sexual sphere and to my broader interactions. I have this need to maintain my perspective and sort of compose myself, especially in the midst of situations wherein I've been close with someone (either sexually or in conversation). I just feel more comfortable having assured myself that I am still here, that I haven't totally become one with someone else. I feel myself under threat I guess, and I want to keep some elements of me to myself. The enforcement mechanisms almost feel arbitrary... I don't want all of my world known. I am willing to get very close with people, but after a point one starts to lose touch with his/her own beliefs and thoughts.
My habits are odd, I guess. I've always preferred sleeping alone and I prefer to shower after sex and be by myself.
I just really want to want someone fully, both physically and mentally. I don't want sex to feel like it's compromising my mental sanctity.
Member # 3
I'm just stepping in here, but I'm not hearing "odd" in a lot of what you're describing. I'm mostly seeing what sounds like a desire for some healthy boundaries.
I also am not sure I understand the idea of being flirtatious as some sort of promise to be sexual with someone, or as something that, when it happens, should lead anyone involved to have the expectation of any kind of sex. Flirting, by the most general definition, is merely someone expressing some kind of romantic or sexual feeling or interest. Whether or not that expression leads to anything besides that expression? That's always up for grabs.
Member # 39778
Thanks, it helps to hear that. I just think that I'm still sort of shaky when it comes to being aware of my own needs and wants...they're hard for me to recognize and act on. My first relationship really separated me from myself, and I had to fight to put everything back together.
Don't you feel like flirting can be misleading though? Or is unacceptable in some cases? I'm not sure how much responsibility I bear for confusing people. Not sure whether they're reading their desires into my words excessively, assuming that a sexual or romantic relationship is the status quo, etc.
Member # 3
Misleading in that someone might presume something about the other person or their wants that isn't so?
Sure, I guess, but I'd say that any interaction between people can be misleading in that way. And it's not like we can control what people presume, or like it's okay for people not to get each other clearly in every other area of life, but we have to try to somehow magically project exactly what we want to someone if it's about sex or romance.
For sure, just like with any kind of interaction or communication we have with someone, we want to make efforts to communicate well, to be honest and truthful in our communications, and not to be overly obtuse.
But what I hear you saying is that is someone assumes you want sex with them and you don't, because you were flirting with them, you've reneged on some kind of deal. To me, unless the flirtation involved you putting clearly out there that you were inviting them to do what it is they want to with you, that's not sound. heck, even in that event, it still wouldn't be sound for them to expect some kind of sexual delivery, because people can always change their minds and have the right to.
Do you have a sense of where this worry is coming from? Is it coming from you, from your head, or coming from interactions where someone has expressed that they expected sex they didn't get from an interaction with you?
Member # 39778
I guess people just think I'm more interested than I am. I really can't identify where that worry about "reneging on a deal" comes from... maybe my head? I do feel an overwhelming sense of guilt as a result of guys sometimes. They start to want to be with me because I'm playful and am pretty focused in the way that I care (more so than most people). And I hate to be the cause of pain for anybody, so I kind of go along with it sometimes. It feels like a spineless sort of habit I guess. But I really do love these people just for the fact that they're beautiful human beings.
Member # 3
Can I ask why you think that someone not being interested in sex with us when we have an interest in sex with them is something that causes pain?
Member # 39778
I just know that rejection hurts a lot. And it often brings up questions of worth that no one should ever ask themselves. It's a road to misery.
Member # 3
Might you be projecting?
I mean, here's the thing: we really can't always get what we want. And often in life, we won't. As a pretty regular thing.
Not winding up having sex with someone we had a passing flirtation with really should NOT be something tremendously painful for most well-adjusted people with some kind of perspective about life. It just really is quite low down the totem pole of things that hurt in life most of the time.
And it's also part and parcel of sex and sexuality. Even when we connect with a sexual partner and we're really into each other, with quite a lot of regularity, we're going to want to be sexual when they're not sometimes and vice-versa. If that's horribly painful, rather than mostly just a bummer we get over pretty easily, then that probably suggests, I'd say, someone who perhaps doesn't have the basic resilience and perspective a person needs to have healthy sexual interactions with other people.
I really think framing not pursing sex with someone when they want it with you as something that "brings up questions of worth that no one should ever ask themselves," or as "a road to misery," sounds like WAAAAAAAAAY overloading this to me.
Member # 39778
I probably am projecting a bit. I don't feel that way anymore, but I know that I was in a relationship before where I questioned my worth a lot and it wrecked me. No, I wasn't the healthiest of people then, but that was the result of a lot of external (as well as internal factors). I guess I just know that a lot of people out there are like the old me. Cameron, in many ways, was like the old me.
I try to err on the side of liberal overloading when it comes to other people's potential feelings. I realize that I should probably just get more comfortable with boundaries. It's just hard.
Member # 3
Well, we also need to understand that we need to let people own their own stuff.
For example, if Cameron didn't have the emotional stability to get involved with you, that's something HE needed to check and make clear, and then make decisions around. For me, this is one of the things that differentiates a partnership from a parent-child relationship. Trying to own his stuff in that way is more like being his parent than his partner.
The same goes, I'd say, with people and sex. If people have the emotional wherewithal and maturity to consider having sex with someone else, then they have those things to make decisions about if even pursuing that -- which includes always being open to people's no's -- is something they have the ability to do and handle.
Of course, if and when someone doesn't seem to be doing these kinds of things well for themselves and *you* have the impression they're not able to handle this stuff, then for sure, that's where you walk away and make your choice about not taking part in that. But ultimately, it's not up to you, or even in your power, to make these kinds of assessments about someone else for them.
As I understand it, your previous relationship was unhealthy, or even emotionally abusive? If so, I don't think applying how you felt in a framework like that to healthy, nonabusive relationships is sound. They're apples and oranges, you know?
Member # 3
Just a thought, but maybe what seems like a propensity to project your own stuff unto others in this department, and even some codependence is part of WHY you're feeling the need to work harder on setting good boundaries for yourself?
In other words, you don't feel totally like it's okay for you to do that, even though it's essential in healthy relationships, but it might be you need to do that even more so because of what seems like trouble you have separating other people from yourself.
(That was a little less clear than I'd liked for it to have been, so if it was too obtuse, give a holler, and I'll have another go at it.)
Member # 39778
Yes, I think what you say is right. My first relationship involved a lot of boundary busting and the development of codependency. We were both 18 when it started, and soon after that his father committed suicide. Tom had some other family and personal problems, and refused to seek counseling after the tragedy. I was the only person he would talk to in-depth about the situation, so I became like his counselor/lover/friend/family. He told me once that, had it not been for me, he would've hung himself. The whole thing was much too heavy for me to deal with alone. But at the time, I didn't know how else to approach the situation. I thought if I didn't help Tom, something awful would happen.
Even after multiple breakups and nearly 4 years, he still tries to keep a foothold in my life. I've really had to fight to separate myself from all of it. It's been hard to get any closure.
I think it's true that I tend to project my past mindsets onto other people to an extent, but it's usually not without some evidence. With Cameron, I recognized initially that he was in a bad place. He was angry, really competitive, insecure, somewhat depressed. He picked verbal fights with everyone and effectively isolated himself. As my teammate, he was having trouble deciding whether to leave the national service program. To me he seemed like he just wanted someone to listen to him and show that they gave a shit. Which is what I did. I tried to give him things to consider before he made his decision, and in the process of getting to know him, learned a lot about his past and ways of thinking. He said he'd been ostracized for most of his life, had had to deal with his mom's rage problems, had few real friends, etc. When he seemed frustrated with the rest of our team, I tried to help him come up with more productive ways of communicating.
I tried to be cautious in getting to know him because I had the sense that he might start to view me as a lifeline, more than a friend, more than a sounding board. Gradually he seemed to even out a lot and become much better at reciprocal communication, especially with me. But from the beginning, that sort of unequal foundation was laid (albeit unintentionally). It became hard to deviate from that gradient, although both of us really tried. It didn't help that he's 4 years younger than me. As we got closer and romantic feelings developed, I would always try to explain what I saw as potential obstacles to the relationship... However, it was hard for him to see where I was coming from because I was basing my concerns off of things that were outside of his experience.
Aside from the unequal footing and our different places in life, I was beginning to get the sense that our relationship was unhealthy for other reasons. Cam became sort of fixated on it, never needing or wanting free time, always staying by my side. He was always pushing his idea of relationship progression, making me feel guilty for holding back or taking time. And he would often make me seem somewhat pathological for not wanting to commit. (I'm still debating whether that last counts as boundary-busting behavior or him just calling it as he sees it). Also, he seemed to get really insecure when I would withdraw even slightly.
So, getting back to the present, that's a large part of why I suggested that Cam and I take time apart. I also realize that I'm having trouble distinguishing what I want/feel about the relationship from what he wants/feels... I sense that I've started to think of his desired outcome as the "right" outcome. Not okay if the assessment isn't really mine... But then again I don't know. I'm trying really hard to separate it all out.
It's troubling that this pattern (involving codependency and boundary issues) is emerging in my life, no matter how conscientious I try to be. I just feel like I need to find some traction for my thoughts or else I will go nuts. I can't seem to identify or accept what I actually feel/think about anything. Maybe I'm exaggerating but I really have no clue where to start. It's like trying to determine the smallest particle of matter...you keep cracking open the particle you thought was "smallest" and finding more components inside.
Finally, I agree with what you said about not projecting my past experiences onto healthy people and healthy dynamics because the framework doesn't apply. On a conscious level, I know this. I just worry that I'm always undermining myself indirectly, in ways I'm not even aware of.
Member # 3
I'm packing it in for the night, and I don't want to rush a response to you. This is a lot of new information, and I'd like to give it the time and consideration it deserves.
I have a dentists appointment in the morning, but I'll be back early afternoon and I'll be sure to respond to you then.
In the meantime, I wonder if you might take some time to think about -- and post about, if you like -- how you feel being single right now, just as a thing: the thing of being a single person outside a romantic relationship. Relieved? Excited? Happy? Fearful? Worried? Sad? Neutral?
Your feelings about that might be a part of the big picture of all of this, too.
Member # 39778
Thanks for taking the time to talk through this with me. I don't normally ask for emotional/relationship advice from people I know; pretty often they give responses that are overly forceful or biased (based on their respective places in life). Kind of goes along with the boundaries theme, in a weird way.
Since yesterday I've been thinking about what you asked. Here are some phrases and words that occur to me about being a single person right now. (FYI: This is not how I always feel about being single or my general view of single-dom. It's just right now, in the wake of the relationship with Cam).
1. Fragile--like a vessel whose structural integrity feels slightly threatened by the vibrations of the world
2. Deeply sad, but not in an expressible or quantifiable way. Not even in a distinctly visible way.
3. Confused
4. Relieved not to be a continuing cause of hurt and confusion to someone I care about
5. Anxious/tense--seems like I'm on the edge of some introspective revelation but can't quite get there
6. Nostalgic
7. Being single is a familiar feeling for me, too. So it's like returning to my remote pilgrimage, only I am heavier with experience and memory.
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
HI She Who Questions:
It's pretty common for people to not want to get relationship advice from people they know in their everyday lives. Some people would probably do well not to seek advice from friends, family, coworkers, etc.
Those responses you mention of either being too biased by their own experiences or too forceful about what they think the advisee hshould do are pretty common.
So, looking at the list above, what does the overall ppicture tell you? I have a few thoughts, but would like to hear what you have to say first, if that works for you.
Member # 39778
Hi Robin,
I'm really not sure that the overall picture tells me much. I mean, it looks like most people's after a breakup, whether it was one that happened for good reasons or bad. Heather and I had a pretty long thread going there about boundaries and delineating thoughts/feelings; I think she was asking the question based on that perspective. Not sure how to read myself from the lens of boundaries.
Member # 3
Sorry I wasn't able to get back to you yesterday, she_who_questions. We had our car crap out on us in the city yesterday, and it took some doing to get back to our rural home.
Want to pick up again today?
Member # 39778
Sorry to hear about your car troubles! That's never fun... Hope everything is fixed or in the process of getting fixed at least.
If you're able to, I would like to continue today. I understand that this is kind of an abstract discussion and that it's been somewhat time consuming for you. So if other things need to be addressed or you're getting too busy just let me know and we can resume at a later point. I get the sense that this isn't something that will be resolved overnight. And I know that a lot of the other message board postings are more pressing since they involve physical/sexual/emotional crises.
Member # 3
I'm absolutely available for you today. I'll be around through the holidays, period.
Why don't you pick a starting place for us today?
Member # 39778
Well I kind of wanted to hear where you were going when you asked for my thoughts about being single. I really couldn't self-analyze the results very well within the context of our earlier conversation.
I've been feeling pretty depressed lately so I'm trying to get out and do things and be productive. I'm having a very hard time getting adjusted to a normal life since the national service program ended. I went from working 60 hrs a week and living/working with the same 8 people (they became like my second family) for 10 months. Now I'm home again with my parents, no job until the end of January, with my teammates scattered across the country. I feel like I worked to create a world for myself and now I'm totally distanced from it. The break with Cam (my closest teammate) was sort of the final element of that.
Member # 3
I was just trying to get a sense of how much, if any of our feelings, might be about being single in general, and being OUT of a codependent situation. One of the core things about codependence is that people who tend to wind up in it often don't know how to be outside of it.
But, looking at that list you made, I feel like I'm looking at what I'd figure is pretty typical for someone just newly coping with any breakup, so it doesn't look -- to me -- like this probably has a lot to do with apprehension about being single.
By all means, that change around work and your community sounds seriously major! That's a huge change. Are you in touch with any of your other former teammates at all?
Member # 39778
I've been in touch with most of them, off and on, since we left each other in November. I miss them really badly, especially on days like this. It's hard for me to make real connections without continued exposure to the same people. It takes me forever to open up.
I went out last night with a friend from my hometown and, like most of my hangouts since I've gotten back, it was kind of unfulfilling. It just feels like I have to try hard to find common ground, whereas with Cam I was incredibly comfortable and could say anything.
I do worry that I might not find another friendship or relationship like that anytime soon. It's a daunting and scary prospect.
I'm trying to settle into the idea that my relationship with Cam was more companionate than passionate, and that that was why I broke it off (since he clearly felt an unequal level of passion for me). But I wonder if it could've developed into something really great had I given physical stuff more of a shot. We rarely had privacy because of the team-based nature if our situation. I did feel a certain attraction to him, and often wished we had a better environment.
Can't tell whether I used the communal environment and short-term nature of the program as covers/excuses for a lack of passion on my part. I hope not. I just feel really guilty and uncertain about how this all went down. I hate the idea of us never being able to interact like we did before, of never being able to try again. Why would that be, if I never loved him in a romantic way?
Member # 39778
I know some of this will take time to boil down, but I just feel tortured about it right now. I know it's especially obvious at the moment since I have little else going on, but my mind won't let me settle on an easy answers.
Member # 3
Do you have any ongoing friendships -- not sexual or romantic relationships -- with people that are close?
Member # 39778
I have a couple of solid friendships with people in my hometown. (Solid in the sense that we have similar goals for ourselves and a pretty good understanding of one another). I've been going to intellectual meetup groups, trying to incorporate some new faces into my life. But I don't have the same ability to be free with these people, to show them all sides of myself, to be fully comfortable etc. We haven't gone through the same level of crap together. I feel like a veteran coming home after a tour of duty or something. Just to give you an idea, myself and another teammate broke bones during our service year and had to recover with only the help of our teammates, in really minimal housing. We camped for 6 weeks straight at one point. We mucked and gutted homes together. We shared one van. W did trail maintenance in the hot sun, painted houses, had to eat less than normal. The team was the most important thing in the world to all of us, in different ways. Cam was the closest one to me though.
Member # 3
Well, for sure, if added to all of that kind of bonding you had with everyone, you also had a romantic and sexual relationship, then that's intimacy on top of intimacy. I'd expect that to be the person you felt closest to.
I often think of the kind of social experience you're talking about with your teammates as something akin to being part of a tribe, in the most core sense of the word. And those kinds of relationships, for sure, tend to be pretty unparalleled by other kinds. If nothing else, we'll tend to feel closer to people more quickly in situations like that than we will when we're getting to know people in others: intimacy tends to take longer to get to in "normal" life situations and interactions.
(Normal is a crummy word for that, but hopefully you get the gist.)
Do you think that you can come to terms with that? Understand that outside situations like those, it's going to take more time to get and feel close to people and to develop more intimacy?
Member # 39778
On a conscious level I understand that I need to have patience, be comfortable with myself for the time being, keep trying, focus on future plans etc. I get that the world is not designed to provide constant contact with others. But on another level I'm absolutely panicking.
Member # 3
Well, we can certainly have constant contact with others if that's something we want. I don't think not having deep intimacy very immediately or quickly with people is really about that.
How about perhaps thinking about putting more effort in the friendships you have so that they can become closer, and so you can start to have more of the kinds of relationships in your life that are more similar to the ones you had with your teammates?
Member # 3
When you say you're panicking, by the way, do you mean you're panicking about being in your own company more?
Member # 39778
Yea I've always had this vague sense of hollowness when left to my own mind for too long. Just a kind of persistent melancholy that seems to go with my personality. Back in college I used to get pretty depressed because studying required a lot of time alone and hindered my ability to change my surroundings and make sweeping choices, etc. Before AmeriCorps, I got to a point where I was okay in my own company... Not great, but relatively positive and able to keep things in perspective.
Member # 3
Do you like yourself?
I know that's like the most vague question of ever, but if you can just go with your gut and give me some sense of that, I think it might help us out here.
Member # 39778
I do, but I get sick of the way my mind works sometimes. I think I'm a pretty decent person and that I have a lot to give to others. I feel bad when I'm not engaged in helping someone or doing things I really believe in. Relationships (platonic or otherwise) are probably the most cherished thing to me, simply because I think they're the cornerstone of life. I have a lot of my own independent goals too, but pursuing them is a lot harder when I don't feel like I have people around who get me. I'm trying not to let that cripple my ambitions or my mobility. I've always felt like there was a sadness I couldn't shake, until AmeriCorps. Then I was pretty consistently happy. It was like a shock to me.
Member # 3
I think what you're expressing here isn't that uncommon, and also isn't something that has to be crippling, versus something that can actually be really great for you, and other people in your life and around you.
I think the "I feel bad" part in this -- versus feeling okay when you're not doing those things, or immediately interacting in some ongoing relationship, and being extra-jazzed when you are -- is what to look at over time. Maybe see if you can't identify some of the why in that? As in, why, rather than feeling okay, are you feeling *bad*?
Somewhere to start looking might in in identifying, if you haven't already, what those things --- helping people, being engaged in something you feel strongly about, being intimate with someone -- give you, personally.
If you can work with some of that, it will likely get a lot less scary at other times, and you can also probably find some ways to be that engaged and connected BY yourself, or in other situations, so that you're not so much reliant on helping others or being in a relationship for that kind of happiness and peace.
That got a little fluffier at the end there than I intended, but do you see what I'm getting it?
Member # 39778
I think I see what you mean, and perhaps I over-emphasized the "feeling bad" aspect. I usually am able to feel okay in my own company, and find a good kind of fulfillment in writing, walking, watching movies and doing other things I enjoy. It's just that often solitude is tinged with melancholy reflection. I think my brain itself is a little bit melancholic by nature; taking in the world clearly leaves me feeling heavy. I don't even know if that should be considered bad. But yes, on some level I am still dissatisfied with the interim periods between big friendships, relationships, or goal efforts. I do believe that I suffer from mild depression, the effects of which are muted by distraction and exacerbated by stress/uncertainty. I've seen therapists and doctors before but could never take the plunge into antidepressants. I'm reconsidering that possibility now though.
Anyway, today I was planning to cancel my plane ticket to Indiana to visit Cameron. I don't believe that I've given myself enough space and time to come to a solid conclusion about my feelings for him. But nonetheless, I'm having a lot of trouble picking up the phone and actually going through with the cancellation. It's heartbreaking to me. And it feels like a denial of my emotions. I want nothing in the world more than to see him, hug him, and try again. I even had a dream about it last night. I want to just say "screw it" and ignore all the obstacles that I've put in my own way, emotionally and otherwise. I really want to love him and have it be okay. But I still don't know if this is a fleeting feeling; I've always been very practical. I'm tired of being practical and sensible. I want to take a chance here but I know it's probably unwise. It's like trying to abandon my own personality, but I want to so badly.
Member # 3
I think that if you agree with the assessment that you are suffering from depression, and medication has been suggested, that it's certainly worth trying if you haven't yet. The worst that can happen, really, is that you find out it doesn't help, and then you tell your prescribing physician, they wean you off of it, and you try a different approach.
I can't tell you what to do about seeing Cameron, and I don't think there's an expressly wrong choice here. The only thing I can remind you of is how much you've talked about knowing this relationship really isn't right for you right now, and a reminder that if you have already told him you're putting the brakes on, going to see him would send a very mixed message. So, I'd consider his feelings in this, too.
Member # 39778
Thanks. It's done; I just cancelled it. I hope I get to see him again sometime in the near future. This is just really hard.
Do you ever find yourself wanting that? The ability to throw all the concerns aside and just give in to whatever you're feeling? Sometimes it seems like I'm being a stick in the mud, and that I need to get over that. But I also know that many of my concerns are very valid. I've just never been fully comfortable with approaching relationships in such a measured and controlled way. I think that's the internal conflict I'm facing now. I still have the idea that love and emotion are supposed to be the primary movers in relationships, not to be overly governed by potential problem analysis. It just feels like it takes all the spontaneity out of things.
I don't want to become some emotional robot unwilling to take chances because the situation isn't entirely perfect. I know it will never be perfect, but I'm trying to convince myself that there will be future situations wherein I will be more certain and willing to risk
Member # 3
Sure I find myself feeling that. And generally, when I do, I do tend to give into the *feelings.* And when it's sound to, and I don't think it'll harm me or anyone else, I also (and for me personally, fairly often, I'm a bit of a risk-taker, myself), will go ahead and do things I want to do even if I don't feel 100% about them.
But when I'm not going to do that is when my head and heart are in agreement that doing something isn't a good idea.
It sounds like you might be putting this situation under a much bigger umbrella when it doesn't make sense for it to be put there. In talking with you, I've heard many, many sound reasons to move away from this relationship. Far more, IMO, than to stay in it or pursue it further.
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Tech N9ne Independent Powerhouse Tour 2013 with Tech N9ne, Krizz Kaliko, Brotha Lynch Hung, Kutt Calhoun, Ces Cru and Rittz
March 15th: Tulsa, OK
March 16th: Oklahoma City, OK
March 17th: Wichita, KS
March 19th: Salina, KS
March 20th: Colorado Springs, CO
March 21st: Fort Collins, CO
March 22nd: Denver, CO
March 23rd: Grand Junction, CO
March 24th: Albuquerque, NM
March 26th: Tucson, AZ
March 27th: Tempe, AZ
March 28th: Las Vegas, NV
March 29th: San Diego, CA
March 30th: San Bernardino, CA (Paid Dues Festival)
March 31st: Santa Cruz, CA
April 2nd: Sacramento, CA
April 3rd: Chico, CA
April 4th: Eugene, OR
April 5th: Portland, OR
April 6th: Seattle, WA
April 7th: Seattle, WA
April 9th: Spokane, WA
April 10th: Missoula, MT
April 11th: Boise, ID
April 12th: Magna, UT
April 13th: Casper, WY
April 14th: Billings, MT
April 16th: Rapid City, SD
April 17th: Sioux Falls, SD
April 18th: Fargo, ND
April 19th: TBA
April 20th: Omaha, NE
April 21st: Milwaukee, WI
April 23rd: Chicago, IL
April 24th: Indianapolis, IN
April 25th: Royal Oak, MI
April 26th: Cleveland, OH
April 27th: Pittsburgh, PA
April 28th: Worcester, MA
April 29th: Providence, RI
April 30th: Philadelphia, PA
May 1st: Silver Spring, MD
May 2nd: Charlotte, NC
May 3rd: Charleston, SC
May 4th: Birmingham, AL
May 5th: Nashville, TN
May 6th: Columbus, OH
May 7th: Sauget, IL
May 8th: Bloomington, IL
May 9th: Davenport, IA
May 10th: West Des Moines, IA
May 11th: Kansas City, MO
May 17th: Aspen, CO
May 18th: Denver, CO
They stopped posting them there a while ago. All the dates will be on Strangevip.com.
J_Costa said:
Ima see if he comes closer to Modesto...if not, im there.
Why are there no dates listed in the "Tour" section?
Ya Don't say? Lol Just kiddin man.
Sometimes people have to state the obvious.
SRH II said:
Ya Don't say? Lol Just kiddin man.
Plenty of dates to come.
zack said:
were are the iowa or wisconsin dates lol
Double Tee Concerts Presents:
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Tech N9ne – 'E.B.A.H.'/'Boiling Point' Combo EP Now In Stores!
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I have been teaching for over 35 years. I am currently working as a teacher/librarian. In the past I have used my cut and paste art projects to improve my students cutting skills, and problem solving abilities as well as enhance my units of study. I also enjoy the way my room looks when my bulletin boards are decorated with children's artwork, especially cut and paste art projects. I find that even though the basic pattern is the same each child's work is uniquely their own. Currently I use my cut and paste art projects to decorate my library and compliment the stories I am reading to my students. Over the years I have taught preschool through 8th grade and I have found that all ages enjoy sitting down and completing a cut and paste art project.
I have loved completing cut and paste art projects since I was a child. In fact my favorite class in college was "kiddie art". As a teacher, I feel that it is important for today's classroom to put more emphasis on developing a child's spatial and fine motor skills as well as their creativity. In my previous classrooms we decorated the walls with my students cut and paste art projects, each one taking on its own individual character. We also drew lots of maps in addition to writing numerous stories and poems as well as solving math problems suited to the ability of the students. Currently as a teacher/librarian I utilize my cut and paste art projects to decorate my library and supplement my stories with activities that I feel my students will enjoy.
For the past two summers I have been asked to be a workshop presenter at the International Picture Book Conference at the University of Findlay in Findlay, Ohio.
I graduated from Hillsdale College in 1975 with a B.A. in Early Childhood Education.
I am married with four children, two girls and two boys and one son-in-law. My children are 32, 29, 26, and 24 years old.
Pre-K, Kindergarten, First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Homeschooler
Geometry, Science, Native Americans, Arts & Music, Visual Arts, Graphic Arts, Holidays/Seasonal, Christmas/ Chanukah/ Kwanzaa, Winter, Valentine's Day


text:
Spring Garden met White Plains in the semifinals, winning 25-16, 25-17. The Lady Panthers fell to Class 1A, No. 4 Sacred Heart in the championship 22-25, 8-25.
Spring Garden coach Ben Carroll said he was pleased with how well the Lady Panthers performed overall for the day.
"We came out strong," he said. "We played five matches, and it was encouraging to me that they didn't give up. We served and placed the ball well, which is something I talked with our hitters about. We'd won 10 straight matches going into the championship with Sacred Heart, but they had a lot of points that could have gone either way. They got really encouraged and put it to us. They kept us in chase mode."
For the day, Jacqueline Haney tallied 57 digs, 17 aces and four assists. Darby Bryant managed 51 assists, 23 digs, six kills and three aces. Dallas Smith accumulated 22 kills and five blocks.
Haley Motes had 38 kills, 39 digs, six aces and five blocks. Maddy Micha came away with 26 digs and four aces. Emory Reedy contributed six kills, 23 digs and four aces. Madison Sides finished with 10 kills, 42 digs, 15 aces and a block.
The Lady Panthers will now prepare for the Class 1A, Area 13 tournament at Cedar Bluff on Thursday. Spring Garden will face Collinsville following the 4:30 p.m. match between Gaylesville-Cedar Bluff.


text:
Tagged With: Basseterre
Hope, Change, and Yes, We Can… in St. Kitts
Text & Photos: Julie Schwietert Collazo I've been in St. Kitts this week, a country about which I knew little before I arrived. The trip has fit another piece into the postcolonial puzzle that I'm sure I'll spend the rest of my life putting together and working to understand. St. Kitts, a tiny country (68 … Continue reading »
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Barack Obama, Basseterre, Caribbean, Caribbean islands, Caribbean tourism, Carribbean, Carribean, Denzel Douglas, Dr. Denzil Douglas, elections, English-speaking Caribbean, independence, Nevis, Obama, postcolonial, Saint Christopher, Saint Kitts, St. Christopher, St. Kitts, tourism
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January 3, 2013, 08:09 PM | #1 |
Join Date: January 3, 2013
Posts: 85
Here are some pics of my 8mm mauser sorry if pictures are a little blurry i dont own a camera so i used my phone.
January 3, 2013, 08:32 PM | #2 |
Senior Member
Join Date: August 22, 2009
Location: NE,PA
Posts: 360
Looks like a nice 98/22. I've got two of them and they are both excellent shooters and extremely well made rifles.
January 3, 2013, 08:43 PM | #3 |
Join Date: January 3, 2013
Posts: 85
yep thats what it is got it at a gun show in feb i think only shot about 10 rds through it though
January 13, 2013, 02:21 AM | #4 |
Join Date: February 15, 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 29
that looks pretty good. My grandpa has one of those, its a real nice shooter. as for me, I have a german made mauser, 1944.
funny story with it, when I bought it i had little to no knowledge of mausers, only that I wanted one. I thought the fact that the wood of the stock forward of the front band slid up and down was normal, something was just loose. well, after doing some research, I discovered that it was a "duffle cut" or a vut made by a soldier to fit the rifle stock along with the rest of the dismantled rifle in his duffle to bring it home. so, a quick drilling of holes, wood glue and dowels should do the trick. 2 rounds in, the dowels snap. rinse and repeat, but with epoxy that supposedly bonds like steel. same issue. so, after about 3-4 more times repairing it only to fail, i went all out and doweld, epoxy'd, and cut a groove, more epoxy, and a piece of notched steel layed in the stock. wrapped the cut in mesh, more epoxy, and had to hammer the front band down over it. havent had a problem since, and ive put 450+ rounds through it since then. rock solid. plus, you cant even tell its been cut or repaired. But, I guess we all have our rifle stories. |
January 20, 2013, 03:50 PM | #5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: December 28, 2004
Location: Flint Hills of Kansas
Posts: 316
I have had 4 M98/22's throught the years. Still have 2 of them - traded two of them in order to get an AR. All were exceptional in the area of accuracy. It was not unusal with open sights to get 2-3 inch groups with these rifles. One of my favorite rifles due to their accuracy. What I have left is one curved and one straight logo.
Thread Tools | |


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Hi everyone! So nice to meet you. Have been looking around for a place to join and share in the power of the gospel for some time, and have found this wonderful site! Am very happy! Would like to introduce you to my new blog, and share in the successes and stories of everyone here! Would like to give you some words of inspiration that the Lord has shared with me, so here goes - anyway, I hope you like it and that it helps bring someone out there, some peace and hope of a new beginning. God bless you as you read these words:
It's Coming!
Do not fear! Thus sayeth the Lord your God, because I know what comes next for you and believe Me when I say that I have commanded My blessings upon you! Stop seeking worldly counsel and get into your prayer closets and listen, sayeth your King to you! Do you not consider that your Lord is about to empty His great storehouses of magnificent and mighty provisions upon you and your families? Get ready and begin to receive My wonderful and glorious gifts and accoutrements into your lives, for the time has come to let loose My most wondrous privileges and advantages for the glory of My Kingdom! Amen! Praise the name of Jesus!
2 Cor 8:9-11 AMP
"And God is able to make all grace (every favor and earthly blessing) come to you in abundance, so that you may always and under all circumstances and whatever the need be self-sufficient [possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnished in abundance for every good work and charitable donation]. As it is written, He [the benevolent person] scatters abroad; He gives to the poor; His deeds of justice and goodness and kindness and benevolence will go on and endure forever! And [God] Who provides seed for the sower and bread for eating will also provide and multiply your [resources for] sowing and increase the fruits of your righteousness [which manifests itself in active goodness, kindness, and charity]. Thus you will be enriched in all things and in every way, so that you can be generous, and [your generosity as it is] administered by us will bring forth thanksgiving to God."
All glory to God for these words, Amen.


text:
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The Margot Gingham Aprons
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text:
Omg, Great topic.
Omg, Great topic.
LOVIN' this Thread!!
Keep smilin'!!
WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me
That's right! Jam it ALL in!!
Who's the guy standing in pornoboy's post? I've been looking for him for a while now
Ryan Dyser knows he's a cute little cocksucker.
One of the hottest threads ever.
Don't cast aspersions on my asperagus.
hot pics...love this thread!


text:
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
The following article should set your worries to rest, Big Steve, 86.
Not only is there now a mechanism to prevent what you say you fear, but Obama has never voiced the intent to curtail the 2nd amendment via the USA's participation in this treaty. Regulating the import and export of fire arms internationally does not necessarily translate into infringing existing rights in the USA. I don't entirely blame you for feeling uneasy given the importance of the issue to you, and Obama's personal views on gun control. However his personal views don't give him the power to go against such a core concern of a large portion of the American public. You should have known that that road would have been blocked for him... and indeed, it has been.
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
Obama's history shows he is willing to circumvent congress with EOs and recess decisions. I don't trust him. That's not to say the Moran bill isn't a step in the right direction, as it is. When dealing with Obama and H. Clinton, being vigil is paramount.
I'm learning all sorts of things during this discussion. Your mention of executive orders made me do a little reading on them. Obama has not overused that mechanism compared to other presidents. What makes you feel as if his use of them is something special? You can't circumvent Congress with executive orders. They only become law if they go unchallenged by Congress within 30 days. What is to stop Congress from challenging an executive order they find to be abusive?
I know you don't trust Obama - that's like commenting the sky is blue. What I'm slowly discovering, bit by bit, is that this mistrust is exaggerated, and deeper than is warranted.
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
Yes, I kind of gathered that you felt that way about him...
Can you provide a comparative analysis that lends credibility to your inference that Obama's executive orders are abusive qualitatively, relative to former presidents? Start with just one example of the most abusive order, if you want to keep things simple.
Also, you have not responded to the fact that Congress can challenge an executive order. So you may try to prove he has been especially abusive, but the fact remains that the system is designed to guard against real abuse anyway. So I fear all this is doing is revealing your search for excuses to feel the way you do about Obama.
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
Could you quote the sections of the order that are problematic?
I'm well aware that civil liberties are under attack under Obama, but the same was true under Bush. And we saw the Patriot Act delivered to us under Bush - perhaps not an executive order, but who cares in which way poison is delivered: the important thing is how potent the poison is.
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
You might get a sense of deja vu when you read this, and that's because I'm repeating myself.
I already pointed out the Patriot Act was not an executive order, but argued that the power of the poison is more important than its delivery system in this sort of situation. If you disagree, please say why. Otherwise we'll carry on like reasonable people and recognize that regardless of how we were saddled with the legislation: via act or executive order, its the legislation itself we should be most concerned with.
Otherwise its a little like two slaves bickering over where their masters bought the whips they use on them: the slaves ought to be far more concerned with how painful the whips are than their provenance. Get my drift?
As for the quote, I was hoping for a quote of the actual text. You see I searched for the "Peacetime Martial Law" of Mar 16. On March 16th 2012, two executive orders were listed and neither bore that name. So maybe that's a nickname you made up for the order - anyway, I didn't want to second guess you and thought it best that you provide access to the order yourself. Please do so. Just quote the passages here in their entirety so people can read them. Thanks!
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
What do you think I searched with? That's not the name of the executive order, even though many commentators have nicknamed it that way.
Please don't emulate other lazy conservatives on this board who refuse to present the material they base their arguments on. You made a claim. Substantiate it please. I shouldn't even really have to ask for it.
In turn, if you want me to substantiate anything I claim with relevant documentation, feel free to do so and I will oblige.
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
I've been trying to follow this and googling Art I, Sect 9, clause 2 Sect 201 got me nowhere.
Malcolm Wright (05-14-2012), Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
We will see ganshing of teeth, tearing out of hair & wailing of lefturds when Rommmy bullies Barry at the Polls in Nov.
queenlillian1962 (05-15-2012)
Hey Big Steve
In case you're still trying to find the executive order so you can quote it, its correct name is "National Defense Resources Preparedness."
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
"Art I, Sect 9, clause 2 Sect 201" doesn't identify anything in the "National Defense Resources Preparedness" EO, so there's at least one thing wrong with post #89. We need more specifics (and correct ones).
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
That may well be a locator he invented. Seems a little strange to me that there would 201 sections of a clause...
If he invented it, apparently he's lazier than the already low standard we're treated to here: not only will he not substantiate his own claims with quotes: he might be providing deliberate misdirection - perhaps his idea of a good laugh. If so, it shows just how little facts matter to him. But lets see what he comes back with - I won't draw any solid conclusions just yet.
Truth Teller (05-17-2012)
Much of the patriot act under Bush was fomulsted by Ted Kemmedy in the Senate. What Bush got out of congress wasn't what he sent them. Not that such is exactly uncommon. For whatever you think it to be worth what is now called Obama care is in reality Nancy and Harry care. Obama as is his custom on things even modertely controversial had litte to do with it other than his signature.
Annoy a leftist: Think logically.
jwreck (05-14-2012), Malcolm Wright (05-14-2012)
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