text:
Learning from a Difficult Child
by Jeanne Potts Faulconer
Did you see me in Wal-Mart? I was sitting on the floor in the shampoo and soap aisle, physically restraining my small son, so he would not deck me or take out (another) row of Calgon ("take me away"). Just another day in the bewildering life of a mom dealing with a difficult child. But this wasn't supposed to be happening to me, an experienced mom with two older boys known for their pleasant personalities, politeness and cooperation. But my determined little Tom made sure it was happening to me—in Wal-Mart, the doctor's office and my own kitchen.
My third son's intensity, energy and impulsivity were unusually high for a toddler, and much to my dismay, did not show clear signs of abating even when he was three and four. His behavior included destructiveness and well-aimed biting, kicking and hitting. My long-awaited baby was a hard-to-deal-with handful. I was overwhelmed, angry, embarrassed and hurt. How could the little one I loved so much be so uncivilized, when his older brothers had responded so well to the guidance lovingly offered by my husband and me? Now at age five, Tom remains more difficult than some children his age, but his steps toward self-control have gradually become apparent and left me with greater wisdom. I can look back over my years of learning from him and see a number of strategies that helped me cope and helped him improve.
Just say no—to situations I learned that there were many circumstances that would precipitate tantrums, impulsivity or other bad behavior. Since these happened many times a day, I was in no danger of removing all opportunities for my child to learn to change his behavior and cope, but I did remove the obvious offenders to reduce our stress. Knowing Tom could not spend an hour in a grocery cart with strangers asking him questions, I became a "dash-in" grocery shopper when I had to shop with him. (As long as I could, I carried him in my backpack, but it was difficult with such a high-energy, and as luck would have it, sturdy little boy). I also did not leave him in the church nursery unless one of us could stay with him. None of the nursery attendants were equipped to deal with him, and I was afraid that he would hurt smaller children and become known as the bully. We turned down invitations for dinners he would have ruined anyway, and opted to host or attend outdoor picnics or events with extremely child-friendly environments. Yes, at times this was a sacrifice, but I knew that setting my child up for failure would only end up badly anyway. And, again, in our Tom-friendly circumstances, he still got experience in dealing with his difficulties, just not in such an overwhelming way.
Become hyper-vigilant. Parents of toddlers know that play dates are usually not calm coffee breaks just chatting with other parents. Most of the time, the interruptions are continuous, as one child and then another needs to be re-directed or attended to so that civilization prevails. With Tom, I found I had to double or triple that, and it lasted through most of his fourth year. I was on my feet, anticipating his next move before he could lob something or push someone. As much as I wanted to enjoy the company of my friends, hyper-vigilance had to take precedence, or we quickly would have become unwelcome.
My husband and I tag-teamed, taking turns at being hyper-vigilant at shopping malls, parties and grandmothers' houses. It was exhausting, and some people didn't understand why we weren't able to relax and socialize. If you've never had a child who got into the refrigerator with all the food while you took a 45-second bathroom break, it is probably hard to comprehend.
Footnotes to hyper-vigilance: since it is an exhausting job, primary caregivers who spend long hours on duty may need to take a break. My husband encouraged me to exercise, write or take a walk. Also keep in mind that hyper-vigilance is a hard habit to break: as my little one grew more competent at playing in groups, I had to re-train myself so I would not always expect every incident to have been caused by him. There should be balance between helping your child take responsibility for his actions and creating a negative self-fulfilling prophecy for bad behavior.
Use "holding time." Time-outs had worked beautifully for our first two boys, as did other common guidance techniques used by many loving parents. I had grown into these techniques with my other young sons as part of a parenting style that emphasized the importance of my boys' relationships with me. My aim was to avoid both overly harsh and too permissive parenting, and to implement a loving guidance philosophy as espoused by La Leche League International and many involved in attachment parenting. Books by William and Martha Sears, including The Attachment Parenting Book, provide information about this approach to discipline.
Our third child was far too wired for a basic time-out to work. Sent to his room, he would rant and become destructive, getting him into more trouble. I developed a technique we called "holding time," which I generously modified from information I read in a book called Holding Time: How to Eliminate Conflict, Temper Tantrums, and Sibling Rivalry and Raise Happy, Loving, Successful Children, by Martha G. Welch, M.D. When my child needed to be limited because he was behaving inappropriately, I placed him on my lap and restrained him, using both my arms and even both my legs (to keep him from kicking me), if necessary. I was careful not to use more force than necessary and checked to be sure I was not inflicting pain. The object was gentle but sure restraint, not revenge. If the problem was not a tantrum to begin with, holding him surely led to a tantrum, but I held on through the entire episode. First he'd go through a fighting stage, then through angry acceptance, and finally to calm resolution and a willingness to make amends. The first few days of trying this, holding time seemed to create worse and longer tantrums, but a calm was descending on me. I could be in charge, place limits without allowing destruction, and help my child reach a resolution that ended on a sincere and positive note, even if it took a while.
I began to add a little mantra-like saying to our holding time. "Tom, you can't control yourself right now, so Mommy will help you. But the bigger you get, the more self-control you will need, and you will be able to do it yourself." More kicking and screaming and refusal to cooperate, but I kept holding and repeating.
After just a few weeks of holding time, the actual "holding" was cut from 20-30 minutes to 10-15. Eventually, over months, I could say to Tom as he was verging on loss of control and not responding to other techniques, "Do you need me to hold you, or are you going to be able to control yourself?" Often, that was enough for him to be able to get himself together. Other times, he still required holding. As he became able to project the consequences of his actions into the future, we were able to reinforce self-control in more traditional ways that had worked for our other children. For instance, "If you behave in the store, Mommy will feel good enough to go back to the park so we can play some more." Holding time became a thing of the past, but now is somewhat fondly remembered by our family.
Instinct tells me that parents who find the use of holding time to create more fury in themselves shouldn't use it. Being calm and matter of fact is key, and it would certainly be a misuse of the technique if it made a parent feel or act violently toward her child.
Help articulate feelings. Throughout all of Tom's toddlerhood and early years, I also worked hard to help him voice his feelings. Tom was articulate at an early age when calm, but when he became frustrated, he immediately "went into his body" and began acting out physically. Taking a cue from Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish in How To Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk, when he was on the verge of a meltdown, I'd say, "You feel frustrated" or "you feel angry" or "you feel left out." I didn't allow these feelings to be an excuse for poor behavior, but found that dealing with the feelings as well as limiting the behavior really helped. His "feeling vocabulary" eventually became exquisite, and as a four-year-old, sometimes expressing the feeling precisely headed off inappropriate physical action.
Establish healthy family rhythms. Throughout my struggles with trying to help my child grow civilized, I kept reading, thinking and talking to people. An idea I got from reading about the Waldorf approach to education was the importance of "rhythm" in children's lives. I found that alternating quiet, intensely focused, inward activities (crafts, stories, cooking together) with boisterous activities that used gross motor skills (outdoor play, biking, dancing) helped create a positive daily rhythm. I also paid attention to the rhythm of our week—an "out" day of errands and taking older kids to activities was best followed by a "home" day where we could recoup. I noticed Tom was better behaved when I did a better job at creating a good rhythm for our family.
Physical exercise for a physical child. I also found ways to emphasize something Tom was really good at: using his body. On the playground, he "pushed the envelope" with his antics, and I found a low-key preschool gymnastics program (which emphasized personal development as well as physical skills) when he showed enough progress to be able to participate with a group. He became a fast and fearless ice skater at the age of four. Huge quantities of exercise and outdoor time seemed to help—and I got in better shape too. "Running Tom" became a daily family task much like "walking the dog." During our stay in a hotel, the employees watching the security monitor asked what we were doing. It happened that the security cameras were pointed directly outside where we were exercising our four-year-old boy by racing up and down the sidewalk. Wind sprints were never more useful.
Affirm the strength. One day, I hit on a great phrase by accident. "Tom, you are powerful, so remember to tone it down so your power doesn't run over people." Soon, before playing with friends or entering a group, one of us would remind the other about his "power" and the necessity to "turn it down." The results were incredible. At four-and-a-half, Tom would whisper to me, "Mom, I've got my power on low" in the middle of a play date. We were getting there.
Try some behavior modification. One more book I should mention is 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children by Thomas Phelan. This book is basic behavior modification, something I had not used much of with my more compliant older kids. Whatever rewards I set up they found they could do without, and any consequences were something they could endure anyway. The reward system also seemed to have a more negative effect on our relationship without providing much in terms of long-term self-discipline or character development. But with some adjustments, the 1-2-3 approach was helpful to Tom and me, especially during the second half of his four-year-old year as we were beginning to phase out holding time.
Recognize the effect of development on behavior. I don't find much need for behavior modification and some of these other tools on a daily basis any more, since now, as a five-year-old, Tom is blooming. Much of his improvement is due to his hard work and that of his family. In the same way that some children walk earlier or ride a bike later, some children attain developmental milestones related to behavior at different times. Most five-year-olds simply grow into a greater capacity for self-control, assuming they have had both love and limits. But I do think that our attempts to help Tom control himself, and my efforts to find support for the intense job of mothering this spirited child, were of great value. We could have ended up with a resentful mom, a sullen angry child and a miserable marriage.
Instead, I'm a mom with new perspectives, greater empathy for those parenting difficult children, and profound gratitude to friends who recommended books, listened to me cry, and talked me through my ideas and worries. My husband and I tested our commitment to parenting with love and guidance and emerged with a stronger partnership. Older brothers Kevin and Patrick have learned a lot of nurturing skills and seen firsthand the commitment it can take to work with a young child, and they have expressed relief that the techniques we used helped Tom turn a corner. And Tom himself is a sunny five-year-old who runs up the mountain in our back yard with his brothers and can now go to play at a friend's house knowing he will be able to get along and be invited back.
Today, rather than saying good morning, Tom woke me with a gentle voice. "Mom, when the snow melts, I will be able to pick wild flowers to give you."
Copyright 2003 Jeanne Potts Faulconer
Jeanne Faulconer is a member of the Board of Directors of Family and Home Network. She and husband Rick have homeschooled their three boys in North Carolina, Mississippi and Virginia. A lover of words, Jeanne is a poet, writer, reader and speaker. She enjoys leading workshops on family life, raising boys, home education and combining motherhood and creativity. She has been a La Leche League Leader for over ten years and is the grateful daughter of an extraordinary mother and father.
Jeanne adds: "Perhaps the most important thing that helped me get through those years was support, which I found in both books and people."
Read more in "Other Thoughts About Dealing with Difficult Children."
My son has adhd
Moms please help me! I am at my witts end with my 4 year old who has adhd. He was diagnoised and I am waiting on an eval, but in the mean time he is driving me up the walls literally. I am to the point I want to sleep all day becasue of this. Please help me!!!!!
Regarding help me....
I'm not sure what I can do to directly help you, but please know you are not alone. I'm a single mom of a 4 1/2 yr old that has not been diagnosed with anything, but I suspect adhd & oppositional defiance disorder. I'm frustrated & angry and feel overwhelming guilt for that; but I can't help it. I love my boy so much and I wish others could see him like I do. Unfortunately, many see him as an unruly child who needs discipline. Aaargh!!!! It's so easy for people who have never had a child like this to judge. Lately, he's been grunting/growling when he's asked to do something he doesn't want to do. He also gets sassy, which is a trigger for me; then the snowball effect starts. I know that the calmer I am the better he responds, but man is it hard to maintain calm when a 4 yr old is throwing attitude and you have to chase him to get him to listen. On top of this, my ex is a deadbeat dad who's in total denial that there's anything wrong. He actually told the director of his school that the behaviour is all my fault and that it's because women don't know how to deal with a son like his. (Yes, the director is a woman along with all the staff in my son's classroom...lol). Anyways, I don't know about you but I find there is some peace in knowing I'm not alone (not that I would wish this on any parent). Lately, I've been writing an appreciation journal...that way, when my son sets off my triggers, the things I love about him most are fresh in my mind:) It definitely has a calming effect!
Thank You for sharing
Reading your article has filled me with hope that things will get better for my son even when the whole world seems to think otherwise. I won't give up... I don't expect those people never having gone through this to be supportive and they haven't. Quite sad! But I'm glad to know that I'm not alone.
I felt so much better after reading your article! I have a 3 year old who is prone to extreme emotions and I have just started a "holding time" with her. I am really hoping that it works out for us!
I wish I would have found
I wish I would have found this sooner. My 2 1/2 year old son is out of control. Im desperate to get him figured out. He is very very smart but he is very mean with other kids and awful with his sister, he will take ridiculous tantrums no matter where we are and they can last for 2 hours without him giving up. When me or my husband is alone with the kids you cant go anywhere, you gotta stay at home because our son needs atleast one adults full attention. I cant even take both of my children to the grocery store 1 mile away by myself.
Wow - I'm so glad i read this!
I am so glad I read your article! My now 4 year old boy is so different then my daughter was at that age. Tantrums and things that seem to be done vendictively (kicking/hitting) and I so understand the 45 second bathroom trip and some room in the house gets ransacked!! I am a single mom - so getting the breaks sometimes come few and far between with my family living 2 hours away - but it gives me hope to try something else. Thank you!
i wish i had more help
My seven year old is very smart he was saying ful sentences at 1 1/2 years old. He knew his colors young. blah blah but when i put him into head start he was the problem child. The teacher was so nice saying i love him to death but my co teacher cant handle him when she wasnt around. so he stayed home. Then pre k the teachers loved him but said he constantly touched kids or spoke loadly all the time. I put him on a non stimulate which helps some what.
My Three old is totaly different.No one could understand him he was bouncing on the walls throws tantrums everywhere.help:(
What causes this difficulty in a child... i want to understand that where did i go wrong to make my 2 year old son like this?
My son
thank you so much for posting this site up. i was near my wit's end with my son's behavior. it was out of control and he's only 20 months old. he screams all the time and hits and scratches and kicks. this information has given me new hope in helping my son use a better outlet to deal with his frustrations. thank you....and god bless
Inspiring article about Tom. You are dedicated, and learned parents. I am a teacher of 32 years taught 5-9 year olds. Children with ADHD are identified at 3 but can not be formally assessed until 5. This is the local government not individual schools and is frustrating for parents and teachers. Schools have to fill in numerous forms which educational panels throw out or make excuses for why funding cant be found for a child. It is disgusting that support is all money driven. Get help from your GP FIRST to speed it up.
My 8 year old son
I am going through the same or more worse situation with my 8 year old son.i have an older son who is 13 years old and my friends tell me that i am blessed to have such matured and obedient well behaved boy.i dont understand why my younger son behaves likes this.I am tired of sitting in child counselling sessions,but i shall definetely try out the ways you described .But I am also worried with one very embarrasing tactis my son uses,whenever he wants to get his things done he just goes out in the balcony and screams or opens the entrance door and starts running and shouting and the only thing i do to prevet him doing that is just come back into the house instead of going behind him and that way he comes back but we are very afraid of what the neibhours think and they may complaint...please help!We love our child and he such a loving caring boy othersise when he is in his normal self.he helpes in my house keeping jobs he is so resposible of cleaning the closets his wardrobe.But when start throwing tantrums he goes out of control and becomes a totalstranger for me..i am desperately looking for help!
very true...
i also have an hyperactive kid of 5 yrs. seems difficult to deal with him i'm always on my toes.. child couselling will not help make him join a dance class or a drawing class communicate with him as much as you can ..
I have been here too with my now 14 year old son. He displayed all the behaviours mentioned in the story and your comments.
As a loving mother I did loads of research and Reading and have used multiple approaches to help my son.
It has been a long difficult journey, at 14 he is still angry an difficult, however he has learned to deal with this outside, he has nice friends and is an A student in both academic and behavioural terms, so to all of you with a toddler like this please don't worry because they're not "normal", you will have to use many different techniques throughout their life, but don't ever forget these are some of thebrightest humans!, sadly schools usually let them down as they only teach for the way "normal "kids learn , be prepared for this
the other point I'd make is you're probably thinkng "why my child , why me"
my son was labelled at 6 with aspergers and ADHD, the label didn't change anything for me as I already knew he wasn't like other kids. However it did explain the why's , I realised that his fathers whole family , on the male line, had varying degrees of autistic spectrum disorders. This didn't help either as they also have empathy and behavioural issues which led to me having to deal with my son alone, but at least I know why.
The final advice I'd pass
I felt like I was at my wits end with my eleven year old boy. A lot of the behavior this article described is the behavior that my son continues to possess. I never knew what to do with him and did not have the support of friends and family. Their first response was to always place him on medication. I realize now I have always given my power away to my son and have allowed myself to become exhausted to the point of giving up. I have faith I can start now and I understand this will be a big challenge because I had no idea or energy on how to parent him. I thank you for this article and the information shared and I am going to utilize it. I was just praying the other day Lord please help me so that I can help this beautiful child you graciously gave me. I believe he answered me today.
learning from a difficult child
My experience with raising my daughter is certainly not the same with her two older brothers. At 4 years old, she get into tantrums and cries sometimes I think for no reason. This article is a real eye opener to the fact that some children are just like that but that doesn't mean they are bad. thanks.
toddlers bad behaviour
my 19 months old baby girl is a very active child .she is rude ..she hits ,then if stopped from something or if she wants something and cant get it she throws such tantrums and shows extreme anger..i m so lost .when i leave her to cry loudly but i cant take it more then few seconds ..and i have to pick her up ..i need to know how to handle her bad behaviour ..NEED ADVICE
Thank you so much!
After my son gave me a bloody nose and 2 black eyes from one of his usual fits I came looking for answers and support. I can completely relate: missed dinner invites, neighbors that had to move, and playdates that ended within the first 30 mins. I was so worn out that I went to the doctor cause I thought something was wrong with me. My co-workers just kept telling me that I was doing it all wrong and that I wasn't strict enough. Nobody could understand that things could be this bad. I did lose my marriage over this...my husband gave up cause he just couldn't do it any more and he wouldn't give me a break to recover. You can only time out and disicpline so much - thank you for these fresh ideas. I have found some hope!
I'm glad I found you on the internet. I have a 3 year old adorable boy who is very smart for his age, keeps talking, is not potty trained, has temper tantrums and is very squirmy and agile. He talks too much and asks hell lot of questions. Does not have much social skills and I'm very embarassed to take him to a birthday party or a social setting...his behavior does not fit into his age group at all...what do I do? I feel so miserable all the time!
Hope for Families
This is really wonderful. It brings so much hope for families struggling with their kid(s), they can be helped afterall. Many thanks to you for being so sensitive and generous sharing these strategies. God bless you Jeanne.
I am not alone
Today I was about to give up... before I read your story. My 4 year old son just started a new pre-school program after being asked to leave another that he had attended since birth. It is only his fourth day, and he has been in the office twice. My child hits other kids, pushes other kids, and cannot keep his hands to himself. I am a young mom who is working to support our family and who is also in school to give us hope for the future. I rely on his pre-school program for child care. At his old school all the other kids were scared of him, I got dirty looks from all the other parents and was told by the school I was doing everything wrong. I have tried timeout, spanking, restricting priveledges, grounding and the reward system. Nothing has worked. I felt alone and angry, until I read your story and others out there who are going through the same thing. I thought I was the only one. Thanks for letting me know, I'm not alone.
out of control disrespectful angr, refuses to do school work etc
My son is 12 years old and he lost his father very sudden to a freak accident he knows i am disabled i have one leg and had breast cancer and numerous health problems i have tried just about everything. He gets suspende from school, out of school suspension he is disrespectful angry and verty spoiled he has no respecr for anyone or anything he scares me sometimes please help. I try to help him with his homework AND HE REFUSES, HE FATHER DIED UNEXPECTANTLY A COUPLE YEARS AGO AND HAS BEEN DIAGNOISED WITH ADHD AND BIPOLLAR. PLEASE HELP. HE CURSES AND IS VERY DIUSRESPECTFUL, REFUSES TO DO HIS SCHOOL WORK AND IS MEAN TO ME HIS MOTHER AND THE TEACHERS. PLEASE HELP THANK U
I just went through a screaming violent tantrum with my 3 year old and I was at a breaking point. To go shopping I can't even take him with me because I am afraid of the next kicking and hitting tantrum when I tell him to not touch something. This article has opened my eyes to new techniques to help my son through those rough moments. Thank you for sharing your story.
Wonderful Article
This was wonderfully encouraging to read. It is so incredibly similar to what we went through with our now 7 year old daughter. Luckily, when we were at our wits end and just didn't know what to do anymore we found a wonderful child psychologist to help us out. Our daughter has mild ADHD and Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. All of the techniques you used and read were what we did, too, and it worked wonders. Things aren't perfect by any means, but much improved. I would highly recommend that anyone who feels like they just can't handle it anymore please see a professional child psychologist. It helped us out a lot. HUGS and best wishes to all of you. You are not alone.
Challenging little Princess
I really appreciate you taking the time to make this site. Not only is it of some help to parents with challenging children but it helps us to not feel so alone. My daughter is 3 now and he whole life has been a struggle. Her outburst, aggression and mood swings are so unpredictable and out of control. I cry a lot as a mother with 2 older girls, 15 & 11 who were absolutely aq delight to raise. I feel like "What have I done wrong?" It's so hard, not attending birthday parties with her or taking her in public as the himilation of her behaviour is too overwhelming fo me. I'm going to try some of the things you listed up there. I've tried alot and next comes a refferal to a behavorial specialist. Thanks for helping!
My beautiful spirited child
I have a 4 year old boy and need another method of discipline, we've tried "Thinking time", but as soon as he's done, the fighting with his 2 year old brother continues, the ignoring, and lack of respect for us just continues. He doens't have tantrums, he just doesn't listen! He has so much energy to burn that we are exhaused by nighttime, there is no "relaxation us time" left in the day. We've enrolled him in classes tried play dates, he just seems unwilling to participate or turns everything into a rough fighting/shooting game. He seems like he fits in the middle of most of these descriptions, but something just doesn't seem "normal", i will be reading the books recommended and trying the helpful suggestions, i will also be making some appointments with allergist etc.
Adhd childs point of view from 5 to 31
adhd is excess energy to us... also we act more on impulse and emotional judgement that intellectual even tho we are gifted in studies. We demand more attention and need it if i am to be honest. As we get older it gets easier as we find more things to do ie. sports to burn the energy off but that still leaves the judgement calls based on emotions.. i recommend patience and extra affection and time with the kid etc.. all we need is love and patience.. and a huge field with some kind of sports ball to kick. :D good luck parents.!
Thank You
Thank you so much. I thot i was alone but now i understand that all kids are different and a customised personalised approach is best for each kid. Its been hard dealing with the constant moving about that my son(2.5) insists on doing. Its like people just want to judge you and tell you how much of a bad parent you are. I woke up praying for my son and then found this article. I will try the tecniques and God willing devote more time and enrgy to dealing with the situation.
I pray a change will occur soon. for all those moms, please try more. God has given us these kids for a reason and they will not cause us sorrow but bring us joy. God is able to do all things and he will heal our kids of whatever is wrong,
thank you, this really made me think after a hard day. i actually have the phelan book in a pile somewhere unread and i'm going to dig it out right now! :-)
loving my son
This is me and my son. You must have been watching us. It is so nice to know my child is like others. I love my son so much but others find it hard to like him let alone love him. We hold him when he is angry and always stay calm and loving and yes it mostly works. My son is now seven and we are still having a lot of problems he is said to have ODD. What ever he has he has our love and that is what will carry us through this though time. Thank you for your thoughts and help.
very true..
i also have a hyperactive active boy of 5 yrs, looks like im struggling with him but your article has again given me strenghth to fight back thanks..
Thank You a Million
Thanx for this great Article... i was desperate... thanx God i found your article and thank you too for the amazing tips!!
Thanx a Million
thank you for the great article... Hope it yeilds good results before it's too late for my 4 year old child. i'm totally desperate dealing with him
My beautiful Grandson
My daugher is an amazing mother! Her 6 almost 7 year old son has displayed all of the behaviours you have presented here over his life and some of them seem to be more and more intense. She and her husband have been practicing the "holding Time" for awhile now and even though it can take up to an hour for grandson to come back to himself, they never give up. She knew she would homeschool him becasue of the probable difficulties he would have in school and she has made his life a priority every day. She doesn't take him to see a Dr. because she fears that she will be told there is nothing wrong with him other than the fact he is just a boy. We all know that there is something wrong with Josh but this article has given us hope that the wrong can be overcome with parental involvement and perserverance. So, thankyou for the encouragement. It is a miracle knowing that there are other families that have a terrific kid with a "really bad temper" who can grow up into a normal person!
4 yr old- smart strong and hurtful
I find it very sad to hear about so many stuggling parents especially because I know first hand what can come with that.
My 4 yr old son doesnt think he has to do as i say, he doesnt mind being punished, he hits me and calls me names and knows there
Isnt much I can do about it bc I have been very ill for a long time now and still recovering from injuries cause by a car wreck I was in. I am a single mother of 2 boys and never had anything remotely close to my younger sons behavior out ofy older son. He will not treat other bad nor will he act the way he does at home anywhere else. I can rest assured if I leave him at a friend's while I go to therapy I will get a great report or whem he has spent the night with my family always a perfect child, his dad's house hes wonderful.... But as soon as he arrives home I get the buildup of anger he may have felt while he was gone just wouldnt dare show. I have tried what seems like everything and am heart broken for him bc i know something has to be causing this but cant figure out what it is. It makes my older son more than angry if he sees his bubby trying to hit me. He knows its wrong bc he then really emotionally breaks down when he apologizes and he is hurt too. I pray for all of you and your families! Thanks for the hope, insight, and advice!
my son
my son is now ten he never showed any signs when he was younger he was a wonderful little boy ....he would play nice with his friends never talk back always compliant ....now that he is older i have noticed over the past to years that his behaviour has become out of control ( his older brother and his wife moved in with us and his wife was very mean to my son we asked them to leave since then )my husband and i are not together anymore and my sons disrespecting behaviour has increased...He refused to go to school to do his chores ( unless i pay him)he is out of control does anyone have any suggestions on how to get his behaviour back on track?
Thanks for the Story
I have a 5 Year Old Son who was Diagnosed with Mild Autism a Year Ago. It has been Tough at times but he is also a very Big Blessing in my Husbands and my Life. He has Severe Behavior Problems and at times gets very Difficult. This Stoty made me relize at times how hard it can get. Especially going to places such as the Store in the Car at Home or different places. I Love my son Dearly but am also Learning Day by Day about my Son. And take alor of advise from Friends Family and the Internet.
Thank you for this!
I can absolutely relate to ALL of the challenges expressed here and thank you for taking the time to write this informative artice, providing hope and guidance to us parents experiencing difficult childre.
I am amidst the worst behaviors I have yet to see in my 4 year old, with no known cause or explanation. They are simply progressing. Everyone is scratching their head at this situation! However, after reading this article, I now have new ideas to utilize as I move forward with my parenting tactics.
My oldest is 6 years old and
My oldest is 6 years old and has always been a difficult child. None of the usual tactics have ever worked and people around me think that I am either exaggerating or that my child is a brat and I'm a doormat. I love her dearly but I'm reduced to tears every other day by the unendingness of how difficult it is to parent her. Hypervigilance is exhausting but the only way for us. I took anti-depressants until I met my DH and finally had someone to share the load with.
I cried through this whole
I cried through this whole article! We are approaching my oldest child's 3rd birthday, and this could have been written about him. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that we aren't alone.
What a relief
OMG, ready all your stories have made me feel normal again, I have a 6 year old who displays signs of adhd, however cant get a doctor to take me seriously. It is driving me crazy. I really want to help her. I love her with all my heart and soul. But will go and read some of the books suggested by you all. i really want to help her and stop everyone judging her and myself
Thank you for sharing
Thank you for sharing your frank account of having a child with an emotional impairment. I am now using your post in my college classes, as I prepare future teachers who want to work with this population of youth. It is most imperative that these future teachers know a parent's perspective. Your honesty is refreshing and necessary to hear. Thank you for sharing.
please needed help....
Please help me with my 6year old.He hasn't been diagnosed of any behavour disorder but i can see that is were he is heading. He is a loving smart little boy.He is distractive to other kids and refuse to finished any work in class. Thanks to all the mums and their stories because now i know i'm not alone.x
So true
Thank you. My boy is three years old and I can't control him. He b reaks everything, loses everything and fights with everyone. I needed this advice.
You Too!!!!!!!!
I have just punched a stressful and depressing day, yelling at my child of 4 and a half, trying to get him to listen to me. I have struggled with his behaviour at times, often thinking he "ignores me to make me mad". Sometimes it feels like he loves to hear me yell...and boy am I getting good at it. When I read your article and the comments afterwards, I have decided that I have had enough of the yelling and fighting, maybe this kind of discipline is what he needs. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the eye-opener. I am hopeful that this will help. Holding time seems to be an answer to my frustration. Thank-you,
depressing and confused
my 3 year old cousin has behavior problems and the story behind this is we had him given to us by my older cousin who has 11 kids in counting so we ended up keeping him for her for a little bit. but a little bit turned into 3 years almost. me and my sibling are all respectful and older. he is the only baby in the house and gets tons of attention. he was o.k for the first year and a half but suddenly this past 18months he has gotten really bad. his behavior has shot up to the point where we do not know what to do. everyone kept saying "terrible twos. it will past" but this is beyond just some silly myths. he can not even be around any kids his age or higher. the weird part is he does not harm anyone smaller than him. he now has 2 younger brothers from his "real" mother and when we visit them he plays so well with them and is very careful. but when around his older siblings he fights and bites. he imitates what he hears. he heard a bad word from his birth mother and since then shouts it out. another reason we can not take him out in public. we are afraid he will call us a bad word or run off. and thats another problem he has. he runs off ANYWHERE we go. we have to hold his hand very tightly anywhere we go because he cant be trusted to walk alone and he refuses to be strapped down. he still doesnt grasp that the streets are VERY dangerous. i know hes only 3 but our cousin who is also 3 knows that the streets are a no-no. he also refuses to listen to anyone but my older sister. she is the ONLY one who can control him. and its to the point where the whole family fights over whos "turn" it is to stay inside with him. we even tried spankings but its like he doesnt even feel it. he just does the exact same thing. i dont know if its a behavior problem or if this is more serious :(and i guess i should also point out that his other MANY siblings have behavior issues as well. they are between the ages of 3months-17 years.but i am talking about the older children who are 4-17. they are all very bad and fight each other all the time which is why we try to keep him away from them.but every time he gets by them he copies from them and learns something new from them and its never anything good. they constantly say bad words and fight each other with no care and that causes him to return home with a "new word" and a "new move" example is last week when he came home from visiting his mom and siblings, we dont want him to grow up not knowing them,he started chocking my 11year old sister. his hands are small but it is still a scary sight and thought. it might not harm her but it could harm another child his age. the next week we saw his 4 year old brother choke his 2 year old brother who then choked him back. we dont know if this is because its in his "blood" or genes but its to the point where we are thinking about giving him back to his mother before its too late.
thank u for your writing
thank u for your writing
i'm teenager & i have some problems with my parents i read your story and i know that what should i do
thank u soooooooooooooooooo much
hyper active boy
I have my first child who is 4 he is very very active and is constantly demanding he wants all atention on himself even though i need to spke with freinds who give me support if i speak with another adult he will shout and shout at you till you give him your attention He is very very bright i am currently a single parent i find him extremly hard work jumps on couches hits bites scratches dosent listen dosent do things i ask him many people say hes a boy what do you expect but he is angry i dont know why and yet sometimes he is so lovely i love him with all my heart and just really want to reach out and help him i just dont know how I have been reading some of these articals and most of them face the problems im faced with i need help if anyone has a comment or suggestions im open to hear them and try them
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A house for Mothers Day a viral video for Las Vegas son
Michael Luangrath, 29, gave his mother, Dao Vahn, a longtime downtown Las Vegas business owner and cancer survivor, a $175,000 house for Mother's Day. The mother and son are shown here in a photo illustration of her house in North Las Vegas on Thursday, May 16, ...
Budget burger challenge Which is the finest in Vegas
best burgers in Las Vegas was a delicious and hunger-inducing look at the burger in its most refined and elaborate form. But what about more common burgers? The blue-collar ones from places with roadside signs? The ones you might be able to order at a drive-thru? We wanted to give those some love, too, so we asked sun.com staffers to suggest some of their favorite quick-stop burgers. Here are a ...
Football ticket sales at the top of UNLV interim athletic directors priorities
Tina Kunzer-Murphy will be the interim athletic director at UNLV, it was announced Monday, May 20, 2013. Last year Kunzer-Murphy stepped down after a 12-year run as executive director of the Las Vegas ...
Charismatic Las Vegas mob lawyer mayor pens memoir
A former mob lawyer, he promoted his city and himself with antics that lent credibility to his self-given title of "Happiest mayor in the ...
To search or not to search Clark County School Board remains undecided
Interim School Board Superintendent Pat Skorkowsky listens during a Clark County School Board meeting at the Clark County School Board headquarters on Thursday, April 11. Skorkowsky was appointed to the top school board job after former superintendent Dwight Jones sudden decision to depart his post last ...
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Love Actually
As the title suggests, Richard CurtisLove Actually is, quite simply, about love. Not just your standard romantic variety of love (though there is plenty of that to be found), but also the love between friends, parents and children, brothers and sisters, and even a broken down rock star and his portly manager. In an age marked by cynicism and irony, Love Actually is unashamedly upbea ... ...
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Col. Barry Cornish, commander of the 99th Air Base Wing, discusses measures Nellis AFB has taken to curb sexually aggressive behavior during an interview in his office at the base in Las Vegas, Tuesday, May ...
Nevada Gaming Control Board inquiry into Colbert Cantor Gaming continues
Former Cantor Gaming sports book director Michael Colbert, shown here at an October 2012 court appearance, is being investigted by the Nevada Gaming Control ...
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Researchers say this fossil, pulled from the hills north of Las Vegas last year, is the lower jaw and bottom teeth of an extinct ice age horse that roamed the area more than 13,000 years ...
Liberty High Schools newspaper staff takes top honors in competition
There were years they won the most awards, but never THE award for best Clark County high school newspaper. For the past four years, The Tribune staff at Liberty High School has been stuck at third place in the Clark County High School Journalism Awards. They landed second in 2008 and squeezed by with an honorable mention in 2007. But they were never recognized as the best standard-format ...
Family employees testify in campaign contribution trial of lobbyist Harvey Whittemore
RENO - Two more of Harvey Whittemore's former employees testified Monday they each voluntarily contributed $4,600 to Sen. Harry Reid's campaign in 2007 at the suggestion of the wealthy ex-developer and lobbyist but didn't fear for their jobs if they didn't do so. Both said they generally supported Reid's re-election but both also acknowledged they wouldn't have ...
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Nothing will ever completely replace playing the game I love, however I feel like I'm starting a new adventure and I'm genuinely excited about what lies ahead. I'm fortunate to have been given many opportunities throughout my career and now I feel it's my time to give back.
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The world's best known footballer was speaking after formally announcing his retirement.
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Las Vegas Herald | Source for Las Vegas, U.S. & Global NewsThe Las Vegas Herald is essentially a local Las Vegas newspaper, but with a national and international perspective, designed to provide readers with a one-stop shop for Las Vegas, national US, regional, and world news coverage, weather and sports information, with live updates on breaking business stories, and what's happening in the financial markets.
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At the moment, the X11 platform is the only platform supported by the Input Method. This page describes the approaches that can be taken to support non-x11 platforms. When we are talking about non-X11 platforms the following feature may be affected:
The ideas in this page basically built on using Wayland as the display server. https://meego.gitorious.org/~krh/meego-ux/krhs-meego-ux-daemon can be used as a reference.
Contents |
For the host of the input method, basically there are two approaches that can be done, depending on the requirements of the system that we want to support, and we want to support both approach and can be easily switch between those.
This approach will bring the input method in the same process as the application. The memory consumed by input method is shared with the application. It also affects the startup time of the application.
This approach would be feasible for these use cases:
When used in-process, even though if the platform supports GLib D-Bus API, there is no point of having the connection using D-Bus API. Here the MInputContext may need to be modified to do direct call to the input method plugin.
This approach will still need the presence of compositor or be part of the compositor.
The details here assume that QtQuick 2's QML based compositor would be implemented. And here, we can't use QtQuick 1.0 and possibly also the QGraphicsView based plugins.
import QtQuick 2.0 import Maliit 1.0 // Import Maliit's plugin manager ... InputMethod { id: inputMethod anchors { fill: parent } } ...
This approach would be feasible for multiprocess Lighthouse applications setup.
Internally Wayland is still using xkb, but having a dedicated interface to manage the hardware keyboard would make sense.


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AMF Bowling
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Our centers are a little like a night club and a little like a neighborhood bar. You will have customers coming in for a party or a once a year event, and you will have "regulars" as well. Can you manage both types of customers? Do you love to talk and meet new people? Do you have a listening ear and an encouraging word? If you do, and you know how to tend bar, then we would love to meet you.
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North African Style Alaskan Salmon
There's nothing quite like the deep, rich, sunny flavors of cuisine from the Maghreb (Moroco, Tunisia, Libya, Algeria).
It combines the best of Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, and Africa... and this recipe places wild Alaskan salmon in this deliciously exotic culinary setting.
North African Style Alaska Salmon
Prep Time 15 minutes; Cook Time 10 minutes
Serves 4
1 can (4 oz) sliced ripe olives, drained
3/4 cup low-fat plain yogurt
1/2 cup chopped parsley
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
3 Tablespoons lemon juice
2 Tablespoons
organic extra virgin olive oil
1 Tablespoon minced garlic
2 teaspoons
organic paprika
1 teaspoon
organic ground cumin
1 teaspoon
organic turmeric
1/2 teaspoon
sea salt
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes or
organic cayenne pepper
Alaskan Salmon fillets
(6 oz. each), thawed
1-1/2 Tablespoons
organic extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon
organic lemon pepper
2 Tablespoons slivered red onion
Reserve 2 tablespoons of olives.
Blend remaining olives, yogurt, parsley, cilantro, lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, paprika, cumin, turmeric, salt, and pepper flakes; set aside.
Rinse salmon under cold water; pat dry with paper towel. Heat a heavy nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Brush both sides of salmon with oil. Place salmon in heated skillet and cook, uncovered, about 3 to 4 minutes, until browned. Shake pan occasionally to keep fish from sticking.
Turn salmon over and sprinkle with lemon pepper. Cover pan tightly and reduce heat to medium. Cook an additional 3 to 4 minutes. Cook just until fish is opaque throughout.
To serve, spoon a dollop of sauce over each salmon portion; sprinkle on reserved olives and slivered onion.
Nutrients per serving: 333 calories, 18.5g total fat, 3g saturated fat, 50% calories from fat, 108mg cholesterol, 32g protein, 9.5g carbohydrate, 2g fiber, 810mg sodium, 156mg calcium and 1000mg omega-3 fatty acids.
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Very nice hotel! Stayed here for the Rockford Marathon. The staff was excellent! Free breakfast and coffee were very tasty! Offered hourly shuttle to and from race. Beds were comfortable. I would definitely stay here again!
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Presentation of study programmes - Select type of study system and academic period
Application shows summary of individual study programmes, fields of study and specializations of individual faculties of the university. Select a combination of starting academic period and type of study system.
By clicking on the following link you can display matrix of study plans.
Faculty: | Faculty of Economics |


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Snoqualmie woman's painting is part of Bothell watercolor show
November 20, 2012 · Updated 4:29 PM
Barbara Koefod of Snoqualmie has been accepted into the Northwest Watercolor Society's 21st Annual Waterworks 2012 Membership Exhibition, being held through November 28 at the Kaewyn Gallery, 10101 Main Street, Bothell. Koefod's painting (shown above) is titled "Bivouac."
"Waterworks" showcases the best work of the society's membership, featuring 55 paintings from 181 entries selected by internationally known artist Stan Miller, this year's juror. Nearly $5,000 in cash and merchandise prizes are awarded.
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Naming dilemma for Obama: Is it Burma or Myanmar?
President Barack Obama's landmark visit to Myanmar, known by the U.S. as Burma, brings up an unusual problem of protocol: What does he call it?


text: https://www.wrapp.com/us/app# Wrapp is offering a FREE $5 Office Depot gift card/ Get FREE $5 and $10 Gift Cards For Your friends and You! Currently you can get a FREE $10 H&M gift card whenever you give three FREE $10 H&M gift cards to your friends, expires 12/17. They also have $10 Fab, $5 SpaFinder, $5 Gap, $5 H&M, $5 Threadless, $5 brooklyn industries, $10 WESC, and $5 Bjorn Borg gift cards -To Download Wrapp You need to have an iPhone or Android smartphone to use this gift. NOTE: If you are having trouble with claiming your Wrapp please reach out to firstname.lastname@example.com if youre continuing to have problems with claiming your Wrapp Gift Card. |


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Orlando Attractions:
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
Opened by Universal's Islands of Adventure in 2010, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is one of the park's main attractions. Visitors can step inside a ...
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Universal Orlando Resort
At Universal Orlando® Resort you'll find two amazing theme parks, non-stop nightlife and more, all in one convenient location. Experience the pulse-pounding ...
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Discovery Cove
One of the most relaxing places in Orlando, this lovely oasis feels worlds away from the razzle-dazzle of the other nearby theme parks. Private beaches and ...
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Downtown Disney
Located in Lake Buena Vista, about 25 minutes from Orlando, Downtown Disney is an outdoor complex featuring retail shops, restaurants and entertainment. Unlike ...
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SeaWorld Orlando
A fantastic blend of marine animals and thrill rides, SeaWorld is home to both Shamu the killer whale and Kraken, the floorless coaster. Journey to ...
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Clearwater Beach
Clearwater Beach is a silky white-sand oasis along the warm, calm waters of the Gulf of Mexico. More low key than its southern neighbor, the bustling St. ...
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Disney's Animal Kingdom
In this amazing place you're in a living storybook on a breathtaking adventure, filled with creatures real and fantastic. Animal Kingdom blends theme park ...
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Epcot Center
With no roller coasters screeching overhead, no parades, no water rides and plenty of greenery, Epcot Center moves at a slower pace. Here you can smell the ...
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Crystal River
A 90-minute drive north of Tampa or northwest of Orlando, Florida's Crystal River offers a wildlife experience unlike any other in the Sunshine State: the ...
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Disney's Hollywood Studios
Disney's Hollywood Studios puts you center stage in the only place where big-screen thrills, TV fun and the best of Broadway come together. Tires scream, ...
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Everglades National Park
The Everglades National Park, covering much of the southeastern tip of Florida, is more than a big swamp full of alligators. True, you will see alligators - ...
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Kennedy Space Center
You don't have to be a space junkie to enjoy NASA's Kennedy Space Center, the only spot in the United States from which humans have been hurled into space. The ...
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International Drive
One of the most exciting and flashy strips in America, I-Drive is packed with restaurants, hotels, shopping, and dinner theaters. And if that's not enough, ...
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Walt Disney World
Walt Disney World, the world's biggest amusement park, is a self-contained city, covering an area twice the size of New York's Manhattan. Four main ...
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Walt Disney World Speedway
Get behind the wheel inside a real race car at The Walt Disney World Speedway, home to the Richard Petty Driving Experience and the Indy Racing ...
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Escape the hustle and bustle of Orlando with a day trip to Clearwater Beach! This relaxing tour to Florida's west coast comes with the option to join an additional activity on offer. You can upgrade to include a 1-hour speedboat ride aboard the 'Sea Screamer' or a 4-hour deep-sea fishing trip. It's a perfect day trip for the whole family!


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text: Main Content Section 400.57b friendly link Printer Friendly THE SOCIAL WELFARE ACT (EXCERPT)Act 280 of 1939400.57b Family independence program assistance; eligibility requirements generally; requirements applicable to minor parent and minor parent's child; recipient applying for supplemental security income and seeking exemption from JET program; evaluation and assessment process; contracts; audit.Sec. 57b. (1) An individual who meets all of the following requirements is eligible for family independence program assistance: (a) Is a member of a family or a family independence program assistance group. (b) Is a member of a program group whose income and assets are less than the income and asset limits set by the department. (c) In the case of a minor parent, meets the requirements of subsection (2). (d) Is a United States citizen, a permanent resident alien, or a refugee. If the applicant indicates that he or she is not a United States citizen, the department shall verify the applicant's immigration status using the federal systematic alien verification for entitlements (SAVE) program. (e) Is a resident of this state as described in section 32. (f) Meets any other eligibility criterion required for the receipt of federal or state funds or determined by the department to be necessary for the accomplishment of the goals of the family independence program. (2) A minor parent and the minor parent's child shall not receive family independence program assistance unless they live in an adult-supervised household. The family independence program assistance shall be paid on behalf of the minor parent and child to an adult in the adult-supervised household. Child care in conjunction with participation in education, employment readiness, training, or employment programs, that have been approved by the department, shall be provided for the minor parent's child. The minor parent and child shall live with the minor parent's parent, stepparent, or legal guardian unless the department determines that there is good cause for not requiring the minor parent and child to live with a parent, stepparent, or legal guardian. The department shall determine the circumstances that constitute good cause, based on a parent's, stepparent's, or guardian's unavailability or unwillingness or based on a reasonable belief that there is physical, sexual, or substance abuse, or domestic violence, occurring in the household, or that there is other risk to the physical or emotional health or safety of the minor parent or child. If the department determines that there is good cause for not requiring a minor parent to live with a parent, stepparent, or legal guardian, the minor parent and child shall live in another adult-supervised household. A local office director may waive the requirement set forth in this subsection with respect to a minor parent who is at least 17 years of age, attending secondary school full-time, and participating in a department service plan or a teen parenting program, if moving would require the minor parent to change schools. (3) If a recipient who is otherwise eligible for family independence program assistance under this section is currently applying for supplemental security income and seeking exemption from the JET program, the recipient shall be evaluated and assessed as provided in this section before a family self-sufficiency plan is developed under section 57e. Based on a report resulting from the evaluation and assessment, the caseworker shall make a determination and referral as follows: (a) A determination that the recipient is eligible to participate in the JET program and a referral to the JET program. (b) A determination that the recipient is exempt from JET program participation under section 57f and a referral to a sheltered work environment or subsidized employment. (c) A determination that the recipient is exempt from JET program participation under section 57f and a referral for supplemental security income advocacy. (4) The department may contract with a legal services organization to assist recipients with the process for applying for supplemental security income. The department may also contract with a nonprofit rehabilitation organization to perform the evaluation and assessment described under subsection (3). If the department contracts with either a nonprofit legal or rehabilitation services organization, uniform contracts shall be used statewide that include, but are not limited to, uniform rates and performance measures. (5) The auditor general shall conduct an annual audit of the evaluation and assessment process required under this section and submit a report of his or her findings to the legislature. History: Add. 1995, Act 223, Eff. Mar. 28, 1996 ;-- Am. 1999, Act 9, Eff. Mar. 10, 2000 ;-- Am. 2006, Act 468, Imd. Eff. Dec. 20, 2006 ;-- Am. 2011, Act 131, Eff. Oct. 1, 2011 Popular Name: Act 280 © 2009 Legislative Council, State of Michigan


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NEW ORLEANS - Vince Carter's confidence seldom wavers, even when he struggles, as he did for much of the second half Friday night.
But with a two-game winning streak and a playoff push teetering, the veteran Carter responded, making a long three-pointer with 6.5 seconds remaining to lead the Dallas Mavericks to a 104-100 victory against the New Orleans Hornets.
Carter's trey gave the Mavericks a 102-100 lead, and, following a Hornets turnover on the inbounds pass, Darren Collison made a pair of free throws with 3.1 seconds remaining.
Carter had been held to three points in the second half before his clinching 25-footer.
"You can't be afraid to shoot it," said Carter, who finished with 22 points, including 16 in the first half. "I just tried to read the situation, see if a guy was open and try to find somebody. In that situation, I feel comfortable."
Dirk Nowitzki scored 25 points, Elton Brand 13, Collison 11 and O.J. Mayo and Shawn Marion 10 each for the Mavericks, who have won three straight and are 6-2 in February.
"We're really starting to figure things out," Mavericks center Bernard James said. "We finally are starting to learn each other's game, what we're good at and what we're not good at."
Eric Gordon led the Hornets with 23 points but was held to three in the second half. Jason Smith came off the bench to score a season-high 22 points, including 10 in the fourth quarter for the Hornets, who lost their third consecutive game after winning four of five heading into the All-Star break.
Ryan Anderson had 20 points and Anthony Davis 10 for New Orleans. Davis sprained his right knee in the third quarter and did not return. Davis later said the injury was not serious and that he could have returned.
Anderson's three-pointer with 55.5 seconds remaining gave New Orleans a 100-96 lead, but he thought Dallas may have one last gasp.


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Suzann Savage Davis claims in the suit that Jansen Fair told Greg Davis he was looking forward to a tryst in Las Vegas. The Commercial Appeal reports the suit was filed Thursday in DeSoto County.
It's the latest in a string of legal battles for the Southaven mayor. He was ordered to repay more than $170,000 in city funds that the Mississippi auditor's office says he misspent and he faces possible criminal charges in an FBI probe. Also, Davis's former wife seeks to change their divorce terms in a separate court action.


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RENTON – The fun is in the winning.
Asked about a host of offseason accomplishments, including his first Pro Bowl invitation and an appearance at No. 66 on the NFL Network's Top 100 players of 2012, Seattle Seahawks safety Earl Thomas said he's not concerned about individual awards.
"I don't know what everybody else thinks, but in my eyes, if you're a great player, the personal accolades are going to come, but you just let them fall and play ball," Thomas said. "I've been playing ball since I was little, and I love doing it. If people like the way I play, that's fine. If they don't, that's fine, too. I just like to play ball."
Thomas had a similar answer when asked about the possibility of improving a unit that finished as one of the league's top 10 defenses in 2011.
"I just want to win games," Thomas said. "I don't want to set the standard for anything. I just want to go out there and play to the best of our ability and see what happens. I'm all about winning and everybody here is all about winning."
While that's understood, one of the ways that Seattle coach Pete Carroll is working to improve his defense is by adding more speed, through free agency and the draft, to create a more consistent pass rush.
The Seahawks struggled to pressure the opposing passer on third downs last season, getting just 12 of their 33 total sacks on the key down, tied for fourth-worst in the league.
With big bodies like Red Bryant, Brandon Mebane and Alan Branch, the Seahawks have been effective stopping the run the past two years. But they need to give defensive end Chris Clemons some help on passing downs.
The Seahawks think they have done just that by adding inside pass rusher Jason Jones in free agency and drafting speedy defensive ends Bruce Irvin and Greg Suggs and inside pass rusher Jaye Howard to pressure the passer in obvious throwing situations.
Those young players combine with guys already on the roster such as Dexter Davis, Jameson Konz and Pierre Allen to give Seattle several options to bring off the edge.
Add to that mix athletic linebackers K.J. Wright, Leroy Hill, Korey Toomer and rookie second-round draft choice Bobby Wagner rushing in blitzing situations, and the Seahawks have an arsenal of new weapons to use in passing situations.
"We've got first- and second-down players that can rush the passer a little bit," Seattle defensive line coach Todd Wash said. "Not very many people can run the ball on our first unit. But we went into the draft with an idea that we've got to increase our pass rush on first down. And we'll see if we did it or not."
An improved pass rush should help a Seattle secondary that held opponents to just 18 passing touchdowns last season (tied for sixth in the league) and finished with 22 interceptions (fourth).
"When the ball's coming out quick, it's giving me the edge just to break from sideline to sideline instead of the quarterback playing with me, looking me off and then going the other way," Thomas said. "You see that a lot with Baltimore. (Safety) Ed (Reed) doesn't really have to cover that long because they've got a great defensive line and the ball's coming out (quickly). So when you've got pressure on the quarterback, everything's easier for the secondary."
Doug Baldwin talked about avoiding a sophomore slump after leading the Seahawks in receptions last season. Baldwin had 51 catches for 788 yards and four touchdowns for Seattle, becoming the first undrafted rookie free agent to lead his team in receptions and receiving yards since Bill Groman for the American Football League's Houston Oilers in 1960.
Baldwin says he sets the bar high and puts a lot of pressure on himself to exceed those expectations.
"One of my biggest things I keep hearing from people is not to have a sophomore slump," Baldwin said. "One of my biggest things right now is to be perfect every day. Right now I'm working on my third perfect day with no drops and no missed assignments. So, not at all, I think I have so much more to prove and so much more I'm capable of."
Baldwin would like to prove he's a complete receiver and not a person who can only play in the slot. But the Stanford graduate said the team has not talked to him about playing as an outside receiver.
Seattle general manager John Schneider said he's more concerned with Baldwin growing into his role as one of the best slot receivers in the game.
"He can play outside, but he can be a dominant inside player," Schneider said. "He's got a real natural feel for sitting down in a zone, stemming guys and breaking off outside. He's got really quick hands, and real long arms."
Receivers Sidney Rice and Kris Durham were active and running routes at Seattle's offseason conditioning workout on Thursday but wore red jerseys to signal no contact, as did sixth-round draft pick strong safety Winston Guy. All three players are recovering from offseason shoulder surgeries. Offensive tackle James Carpenter continues to show incremental progress six months after knee surgery to fix a torn anterior cruciate liagment. The former Alabama player worked off to the side on his stance and starts. He was taking reach steps coming out of his stance and putting pressure on his knee. Wagner worked with the first unit at middle linebacker, flanked by outside linebackers Wright and Hill.
email@example.com 253-597-8437 blog.thenewstribune.com/seahawks @eric_d_williams


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With the continuous evolution and development of gadgets which are being devised and channeled in accessing different social networking sites, the abrupt increase of cyber bullying has also doubled. In fact, there were people who were harassed in large measure, while others' account has been hacked due to personal reasons. There were series of attempts to control it in order to protect someone's interest and privacy, but since there is a large scope and power that Internet brings to the minds of the user especially to the young ones who are more active in daily chats, games, and streaming, it's a fact that it became uncontrollable especially if you are measuring the reactions of people. In fact, everyone has feel that they have the right to take photos, videos, and even expressed their angst on their wall via Facebook, Twitter, and other active social networking sites. Hence, in most cases, youngsters are the victims of it, and there is a serious effect of it as to their personality and when it comes to real socialization. There is a prominent channel in Asia specifically in the Philippines who even made a campaign by encouraging everyone to think before you click. You may control what others could have thought about you like the kind of branding that they give, but you have the ability to avoid discriminating and humiliating situation especially to young generations who are prone to be victims of cyber bullying. Here are 10 ways to avoid cyber bullying that you could proactively follow in order to be freed from ill effects of it especially to those around you.
10. Be Sensitive on Certain Topics
People have different views, beliefs, and opinions on certain things especially if certain topics are the current discussion online. You may express the things that you feel about it, not on your wall, and even on your tweets. Just share it to those people whom you feel will not react or be offended in anyway. Some of the sensitive topics that you should put your hands off although you have something to say about it are divorce, premarital sex, same-sex relationships, and other topics that you feel could thwart the unity that you have with your friends, and other colleagues. You will not just create peace if you avoid posting your opinions on your wall or tweeting it, but you would also avoid cyber fights thereafter.
9. Delete Messages from the Stranger
As a common rule to kids being given by their parents to don't talk or come nearer to any stranger. It's the same thing when you are online where you could meet people from afar, from different countries, and regions in your area. It does not mean that when you have a social networking site account that you could befriend with anyone. In fact, there are warnings to don't open any private messages from someone that you don't know since there was huge number of victims of hackers who could personally invade to your account. Little that you know, they have the most confidential information from you in just a click away.
8. Don't be Gullible
Not all the things and information that you see on someone else's wall and even an invitation is true. Before you become vulnerable in believing that it will make you rich, and other marketing spam which are all hoax to tempt you to invest, at least, be wiser by checking other details through Google, and other search engine to check its validity. There are lots of tools that you can use online to avoid deception. You may check online forums for reviews so you could get the quickest warning that you want to know. Rule of the thumb is to make a proper research before you believe. Moreover, if you see someone's post that might be referring to you, think twice if that is really meant for you or not. Whether it's true or not, just ignore because it will not harm you in any other way.
7. Don't Follow/ Add a Friend Request Right Away
You will not win Mr. and Ms. Congeniality if you have the most of number of friends on your end. Not all friend request means that they want to befriend with you. In fact, it's one of the viruses being sent to you so you could fall on their trap and lure your personal information into their hands. Moreover, make sure that before you follow or add someone on your list of friends that you really know each other. Whether you are a fan of someone, and you want to know a real-time updates on specific celebrity, you still need to know if it's an official account of the individual or not.
6. Click Report if it's Abusive
You don't have to be argumentative if you feel that you were offended in someone's post. You just have to report it to the right authorities who would work on their best to remove it or inform someone those things that they have posted are not appropriate, misleading, and hurt someone. Otherwise, if you feel that you are not comfortable seeing his or her posts, and then hide it on your account so you'll feel at ease. Any discomfort that you would feel does not mean that you have to be reactive or would do confrontation right away. It's still best to do silent moves so you would avoid misunderstanding with someone. Don't create fire on something that can be resolved in easiest and peaceful way.
5. Apply Security
Whether it's your first time to sign-up for specific social networking site account, make sure that you apply specific security so you could screen out or filter the messages that coming to your end, and avoid identity theft. You could also limit some photos and information from the most trusted people that you have whether it's on twitter or on Facebook. This is one way of protecting your rights, and privacy against any intruder who have malicious intent to be part of your circles. This way you'll avoid trouble, and you would be at peace.
4. Don't Publish too Much Photos
You may have limited your account to someone who could see your personal information, but if you are proactive in publishing daily updates that you have had for the day through photos, then, you are at high risk of giving hints to someone as to the number of activities that you have had, and to the places that you go. You don't need to show the whole album that you have collected on your end from birth up to your latest. People don't need them. Give limitations to your most confidential, and private moments with your loved ones by not posting or publishing all of the captured photos that you have taken for the day with your favorite camera. Moreover, select photos which will not disclose your social status because it can break not just your privacy, but it will even put your life and your loved ones in jeopardy. Just continue the traditional way of collecting, and putting all pictures that you have in photo album where you could share to people who would visit your home.
3. Write Your Feelings on a Blank Paper
If you feel that you cannot control your feelings over someone else's post, or if you want to vent out your angst against someone who is close to you, stop, and think twice. You don't need to inform the whole world that you are pissed on someone. Take a deep breath, and get a blank paper and pen. Start writing everything on a blank paper as if you are talking to that person wherein you could release everything that you feel. I am telling you, you would feel good after instead of letting everyone knows how strong you are through your wall post that no one could get even at you. Maturity and social grace is measured on how you deal with your feelings. In fact, it's also the measurement on the kind of education that you have. This is the right attitude if you want to confront someone, say it in a blank paper, and you would be relieved afterwards.
2. Don't React
All of us have the tendency to over react on some silly things that we see from our friends' post. Not all the things that you see directly insulting you. You may not know that person is just sharing what he or she sees online. Whether or not you are guilty of certain post, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter as well if that person is attacking you. Be proactive and reactive because your negative reactions will bring more harm than good that you think it would. Just ignore it, because just like any other news that you could read for the day, would just pass by, and would be forgotten. In short, move on, and forget everything.
1. Limit Personal Information
You are not required to disclose confidential information about yourself such as your whereabouts, your work, your birthday, and even your family members. In fact, you could even use fictitious names in order to avoid private invasion, identity theft, and hacking of personal information. Just keep information about your account as simple as it should be. You don't need to inform the whole world that is engaged to specific someone or you are already married to this person. Hence, as much as possible, keep your hands off from putting personal contact details such as mobile numbers, landline, and other information that could only be disclosed to significant entities. Remember you are not opening a financial account, rather applying for a loan. This is just a social networking site account which is intended to meet new people, and be with people that you know.


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Last weekend, UK bass and trap music dream-duo, Lunice and Hudson Mohawke, tore apart London's Village Underground and most of the crowd's ear-drums, performing their joint project TNGHT.
After two hours of prolapse-inducing bass and a VJ show which included J-Pop dance routines and Lindsay Lohan's corroding face set to the sounds of Meek Mill, HudMo said goodbye by dousing the crowd in Grey Goose. Which was good news for anyone with open wounds!
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.


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Help Us Plant FREE TREES in Kentucky!
The Kentucky State Parks have an opportunity to acquire funding to plant trees through the "Odwalla Plant a Tree" program.
Please click on the link below to vote for Kentucky, then forward this to your friends. It will only take a few seconds and won't cost a penny. You can plant one for each of your email addresses. You can also plant one additional tree per email by using the code ODWSPR.
Your votes can help us reforest our state parks, which will be a benefit to everyone!
Thank you!
Just click here: Plant trees in Kentucky!


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Definition of 'Ba1/BB+'This is generally one of the lowest investment grade ratings that a ratings agency assigns to a security or insurance carrier. This rating signifies a low to moderate level of risk for investors or policyholders. Entities that are assigned this rating generally possess adequate reserves and are reasonably stable but not as solid as higher-rated securities or carriers. |
Investopedia explains 'Ba1/BB+'The ratings assigned by the various ratings agencies are based primarily upon the insurer's or issuer's creditworthiness. This rating can therefore be interpreted as a direct measure of the probability of default. However, credit stability and priority of payment are also factored into the rating. |
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