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You're sitting on the couch downstairs alone in the house, leaning over typing on a laptop on the coffee/conference/workshop table in front of you in relative silence.
Suddenly you hear what sounds like splashing upstairs. Splashing water. UPstairs. No one here. But you. And a cat, who you can see is NOT upstairs, but down here with you.
There's more splashing up there. For real. Splashing water in this little house. There's a full bath at the top of the stairs off to the side, but the tub and sink are empty.
That leaves the bidet' and jacuzzi. Just kidding. But that does leave a throne.
So you intrepidly creak up the old wooden stairs to the top landing and hear the splashing getting louder and more frantic.
The only things that it could be? An alligator or rat that came up through the sewer pipes into the toilet bowl? Myth becomes reality? In any case, it can't be anything good. And even in the best case, in your unfortunate experience of being one called upon, and dutifully answering, for acts of bravery when needed, it's going to be something weird, gross, or both.
You turn the corner, pass through the doorway with the terlit behind the door to your right, and cautiously peek behind the door to see what's swimming around in your pool.
And you see a chipmunk scrambling around in circles, trying unsuccessfully to escape the ultimate chipmunk trap, apparently: a commode.
Thankfully, a clean garderode. I wanted to grab my phone/camera and take a short video or photo, but I was more worried about the safety of that animal. I didn't want to give it any more time to get out of there and start running around the house than I can.
So I grabbed the guy out of there like a chimp swatting at a banana and got him first try, with little water, amazingly. But I could feel his heart vibrating away at 1000rpm. Half of him was warm, and half of him was wet and all of him was squirmy rolled up in the front of the t-shirt I was wearing. I don't know why I didn't think to use a towel to wrap him in. I guess because I wasn't planning on making him a permanent member of the household.
I ushered him downstairs, through the living room, through the toy room, through the kitchen, and out the back door to the patio, and then to freedom: the BACK YARD. Where it was off to pop up in my neighbor's:
Chipmunk Ports of Call
So now I have to wonder: how did that chipmunk get into my upstairs toilet?
I keep my house clean and tidy and the only insect problem I have is with some wool moths that ravenously devouring a nice wool rug of mine. I've been trying everything. But this place is spic -n-span.
And even then, we'd be talking about mice, or bugs or something. Not a chipmunk. They aren't like that. Squirrels, yes, but only if they zero in on a bag of nuts or seed through a screen window or something. And they're going to gorge themselves, not politely use the facilities. And I have a bathroom on the first floor for visitors anyway. Why was he taking the grand tour?
Logic says that the cat is a culprit because when there's trouble, there's usually a cat around. But the cat that lives here isn't much bigger than a chipmunk, at 9 pounds. And she's no huntress. She has trouble taking down a moth.
However, she has been known to catch a couple of mice and bring them indoors, as some sort of tribute to the cause. And I do mean A COUPLE(2) Two. And they were dead and little church/door mice from the back yard. Who probably had COVID-19, and will be counted as such.
And when the cat does manage to bag a trophy bug, she meows and carries on like she just shattered some type of world record.
Chipmunks don't climb trees like squirrels. They hang out on the ground. So for it to come in through an upstairs hole is out of the picture. It had to come, or be brought in, from downstairs. And then chased or scrambled or was carried, upstairs. But some other things would have to have happened for these scenarios to play out. This is starting to feel like an Encyclopedia Brown book.
I'm going to do some more research and see if I can figure out how the chipmunk got into the lavatory basin. Did it jump, thinking I'm putting the lid down, being a bachelor? My ex has seen to it that no related females may visit me. So: lids up.
The cat has a few habits that should be mentioned. One is that she has 2 little play "mice" that I gave her years ago, have been long-eviscerated and now are little square scraps of shag with a small strip attached to resemble a "tail.'
She loves these things. I have put out about 10 others over the years and she only like these two eyesores. Day-glo pink and green.
Notice the tendency for her to leave them in bowls. Her feeding bowl(s)? I've caught her drinking from the potty much to my disgust. Because she then licks herself and coats herself in my toilet water. And licks me and used to lick Cecelia, which has to have some things that are best not viewed microscopically.
How did the chipmunk get into the house? I have a front and back door. I'm the only one who opens them and I hope I would certainly notice a chipmunk scurry by my feet, especially being chased by a cat. And I don't see 13-year old Rebecca chasing much around here unless it's me and she thinks I may be leaving her. Traumatized from the last move.
I don't think Rebecca took her up there, got up on the rim, and tossed this clawed and toothed animal, panicking for its life, into the water bowl. And then calmly leave and come down here.
No matter where I live, I always seem to find these types of situations involving animals. But I think: it can't possibly be only me.

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Subtitling must be real hard. I can imagine keeping up with the news and live TV is hard enough, let alone rap lyrics.
Over the weekend, the person in charge of writing subtitles for BBC's stream of West's Glastonbury set completely melted down, and their descent into madness is tracked by Ye's "lyrics".
Though it would've been an easy fix, maybe just googling the lyrics to whichever song Kanye was performing and uploading them – they tried, and failed brilliantly.
Check some live tweets for yourself, and relive the experience.
Mum asked to put the subtitles on for Kanye's set, wasnt much use to say the least #MyLigga #Kanye pic.twitter.com/gzxmcBxzUv
— Jordan James (@GustavsonJordan) June 27, 2015
Even the BBC subtitle writer got sick of Kanye at Glastonbury. pic.twitter.com/nJMn36bDhw — You Had One Job (@YouHadOneJ0B) June 28, 2015
BBC subtitling department have had enough #glastonbury #Kanye pic.twitter.com/eh2HHZRnmE — BC (@Ox_Bex) June 27, 2015
I LOVE YOU BBC SUBTITLES PERSON!!! #Glastonbury2015#Kanyepic.twitter.com/2ka1gbebVO
— Swami Baracus (@SwamiBaracus) June 27, 2015
West had one of, if not the, most talked about set in the lead up to the festival, with all eyes on the famous (and infamous) rapper to see what he would do next. From jumping into a crane to perform Touch The Sky, covering Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody and an unfortunate stage invasion, it was as exciting and ridiculous as we expected (the man once went to McDonald's in a Lamborghini). Even Dave Grohl, who pulled out of the festival due to a broken leg and was replaced by Florence + The Machine, has something to say about his set. Although he is indeed polarising – even the most polarising of all – there is no question that Kanye pulled out all the stops, and proved the 134,920 people who signed a petition to get his set cancelled wrong.


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Apr 6, 2020 - Economy & Business
Jamie Dimon: U.S. can become "a stronger country" from coronavirus crisis
JP Morgan Chase Chairman and CEO Jamie Dimon said Monday in his annual letter to shareholders that the U.S. has "the resources to emerge from [the coronavirus] crisis as a stronger country."
The big picture: He added that while the New York bank will participate in government programs to address economic challenges set off by the effects of the virus, it will not ask for any regulatory relief in return.
What he's saying: "America is still the most prosperous nation the world has ever seen," Dimon said."After the crisis subsides (and it will), our country should thoroughly review all aspects of our preparedness and response."
- "And we should use the opportunity to closely review the economic response and determine whether any additional regulatory changes are warranted to improve our financial and economic system. There will be a time and place for that — but not now."
Go deeper: What's next in the economic battle against coronavirus


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The Inspirations Behind the Nurses
The Inspirations Behind the Nurses
Mentors who uplifted members of the profession are celebrated on Facebook
Mentors who uplifted members of the profession are celebrated on Facebook
On our Nurse.com Facebook page, we asked nurses who or what inspired them to become nurses. Sometimes nurses were led to the profession by a life experience and other times it was a beloved family member or even a favorite book. Some answers might surprise you. Others may make you nod your head in agreement and take you down memory lane. And some may inspire self-reflection or even your next book choice. Read on to find out.
"My dad."
— Thomas Micheal
— Thomas Micheal
"My mom. She works harder as a nurse than anyone I've ever known. I grew up watching her put her all into nursing, and I strive to be just like her."
— Ann Gorski
"When volunteering as a candy striper, I watched so many nurses making a difference in the lives of people."
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"My son got meningitis at 10 months old. (He was cured.) One of his nurses was exceptional, and I started thinking that I'd like to be a pediatric nurse as well. I went back to school and got my degree. Went to work at a pediatrics hospital in Chicago. Loved my career, now retired after 20 years. I miss the kids though."
— Gayle Austin Line
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— Pamela Wilson-Floyd
"My grandmother inspired me. She was always taking care of sick people in our family and holding down a full-time job. I just want to help others. It's the best job I've ever had."
— Karen Padgett
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Sports News
|NHL Hockey
|Player News
Anderson, Sabres beat Maple Leafs 5-1 to snap 6-game skid
NHL Headlines
- Hall of Famer Bobby Hull dies at 84
- Isles get All-Star C Horvat from Canucks
- Morrissey, Scheifele rally Jets by Blues
- Kraken surprisingly in playoff race
- Aho scores again, Hurricanes beat Bruins
TORONTO (AP) Craig Anderson made 29 saves, Victor Olofsson and Tage Thompson scored in the second period and the Buffalo Sabres beat the Toronto Maple Leafs 5-1 on Wednesday night to end a six-game losing streak.
"We made it hard on them and they had to work for every chance they got," Olofsson said. "I think we played a perfect road game."
Toronto played at home in front of a full crowd for the first time since Dec. 11, after Ontario eased COVID-19 capacity restrictions Tuesday.
"I thought our guys, all four lines ... all played hard for each other," Buffalo coach Don Granato said. "Our guys had worked really hard, and I don't think they necessarily deserved to be on the string they were on of not winning."
The Maple Leafs were showered with boos following their uninspired performance.
"Terrible from start to finish," Leafs coach Sheldon Keefe said in a blunt assessment.
"We just didn't have it ... simple as that," he added. "That's a reflection on the coaching. That's a reflection on the players.
"I didn't think anybody had it."
Jacob Bryson, Jeff Skinner and Kyle Okposo also scored to help Buffalo finish off a five-game trip. Seventh in the Atlantic Division, the Sabres improved to 17-30-8 - nine points ahead of last-place Montreal.
"These are the games that I think we need to get better at," said Rasmus Sandin, who was on the ice with defense partner Morgan Rielly for three goals against. "Buffalo, no disrespect or anything, but I think that's a team that we should beat.
"We just weren't prepared in the right way."
Sandin scored for Toronto, and Petr Mrazek stopped 26 shots. The Maple Leafs had won three in a row. Third in the Atlantic, they fell to 35-15-4.
Olofsson gave Buffalo a 2-1 lead off a rebound with 7:41 remaining in the second, and Thompson made it 3-1 with 1:29 left in the period.
The 6-foot-7 Thompson controlled the puck in the slot, spun and beat Mrazek. Thompson has 23 goals in 51 games this season after scoring 18 goals in his first 145 NHL games.
Skinner and Okposo scored in the third. Skinner has 21 goals, and Okposo 14.
Bryson opened the scoring at 2:26 of the first period with Toronto's Alexander Kerfoot off for tripping. Bryson scored for first time this season and the second in 84 career NHL games.
Sandin tied it with 8:12 left in the first period. Mitch Marner, playing his 400th NHL game, assisted on the goal.
"We're trying to accomplish something," said Maple Leafs captain John Tavares, whose goal drought stands at 14 games. "We have to be ready to play no matter who our opponent is."
NOTES: The 40-year-old Anderson is in his 19th NHL season. ... Maple Leafs star Auston Matthews remained tied with Edmonton's Leon Draisaitl for the NHL goals lead with 37. ... Toronto dropped to 19-6-1 at home. ... The teams will beat again outdoors March 13 at Hamilton's Tim Hortons Field in the Heritage Classic.
Sabres: Host Minnesota on Friday night.
Maple Leafs: Host Vancouver on Saturday night.
More AP NHL: https://apnews.com/hub/NHL and https://twitter.com/AP-Sports
Updated March 3, 2022


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In 2018, just 4% of the 161,288 youth served by the federal workforce training system were in foster care or the juvenile probation system, despite their critical need for employment and training services.
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As part of the Bay Area Transition Age Youth (TAY) Workforce Initiative, JBAY is working to increase access to the federal workforce training system by pursuing a federal waiver that will expand eligibility to this critical program. Currently, youth in foster care or the juvenile probation systems have limited access to federal workforce training if they are not "out-of-school." The federal waiver will allow youth in foster care or the juvenile probation system to be considered eligible for services.
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Ron Littlepage: Where is our vision for the St. Johns River?
When I first came to Jacksonville almost 40 years ago, I stood in the parking lot of The Florida Times-Union - yes, parking lot - on the edge of the St. Johns River.
I wondered why the city had turned its back on this magnificent waterway.
Having come here from my home state of Texas, I knew what could be done with a river. In San Antonio, what had been a small canal had been turned into a valuable asset for that city's downtown.
I soon learned that the St. Johns had not always been an asset. It had basically served as the city's sewer, which explained why parking lots were on riverfront property instead of buildings.
But that's in the past. The river is cleaner, and we now have magnificent riverwalks on both the Northbank and the Southbank in downtown.
Still, a question has gone unanswered for the decades I've lived here: Although we regularly proclaim that other cities envy our great river, why can't we or why don't we take better advantage of it?
A program sponsored by JAXChamber and the Urban Land Institute North Florida delved into such questions last week. It was appropriately held in the Haskell building with the St. Johns as a backdrop.
The discussion focused on Oklahoma City, which brought to mind the hot sauce commercial that asks incredulously, "New York City?"
I'll use the opening and closing remarks from Audrey Moran because what she said is important.
As the incoming chair of JAXChamber, she planned the Chamber's annual leadership trip. She wanted to focus on the river, so she Googled terms like "great river cities" and "downtowns with a great riverfront."
Two things jumped out at me," Moran said. "One, Jacksonville isn't on any of the lists. How is that possible?
"The second thing that jumped out at me was Oklahoma City, Okla., was on every one of the lists."
Oklahoma City?
Moran had lived there in 1980, she said, and "for the life of me, I couldn't remember a river."
That's because Oklahoma City's river was a ditch with no water, just grass and dirt, that had to be mowed three times a year.
Moran chose Oklahoma City as the Chamber trip's destination, and in planning it, she spoke to the city's mayor.
He told her, "Audrey, in Oklahoma City, we are known for three things: We are faith-based. We are hard working. And we dream big."
Dreaming big turned that dry ditch into a world-renowned river complex for kayaking, rowing and white-water rafting with activities ranging from a giant slide and zip line to venues for movies and music.
Pat Downes, development director for the Oklahoma City Riverfront Redevelopment Authority, and Mike Knopp, executive director of the Oklahoma City Boathouse Foundation, told those gathered at the Haskell building how their river became what it is today.
The community bought into the vision. Funding for $60 million worth of development came in part from a voter-approved 1 cent sales tax and from corporate and philanthropic donations. And each project was done first class, which produced results and led to other development.
"How do we dream big?" Moran asked. "How do we do what we might think is hard or impossible and make it happen?
"They are an example of what can happen when a community pulls together."
The current mayor and two previous mayors spoke to the Chamber group in Oklahoma City.
"It was so, so clear," Moran said, "that it wasn't their vision. It was the community's vision.
"And when they took office, they knew they needed to continue to grow it because it's what the citizens of their city wanted.
"So," Moran said, "we need a community vision for the river in Jacksonville, Florida."
And as much as it pains me as a native Texan to write this, Oklahoma City has shown us the way.
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text:
The Purge is a silly idea but nonetheless an interesting concept to imagine as a reality. The first had promise but with some of the worst characters in recent memory it fell well short of being even remotely decent. Not to mention the idea of the mayhem that we never get to see taking place outside such a contained storyline. The Purge: Anarchy aimed to fix this by placing new characters in the harsh darkness with all the death and torture to go with it. While significantly better than the first, Anarchy was still a sequel that didn't live up to the concept of what a night like this could entail and dare I say the excitement that should come with such a visceral idea.
Enter Election Year.
Similar in vein as Anarchy, the third night of primal release allowed this premise, at least for the time being, to fully flourish into the best installment and a much needed breath of fresh air to this perishing franchise. While there are serious moments of life and death and the consequences to what each of these could mean, where this truly shines is in the moments of levity. This is a demented story so most of these "ha ha" moments do include cold-blooded murder but it's fully aware of itself and how messed up this all is. Much like the characters themselves, this franchise is beginning to fully embrace its psychotic nature and isn't apologizing for any of it. On screen murder hasn't been this fun a long time.
Frank Grillo entering the franchise is the best thing that could have happened as he exudes both machismo and torment in a seamless performance of vengeance and heroism. He is tremendous at balancing the darkest moments and the funniest as someone just trying to survive the night. With a strong supporting cast at his side, Election Year is the first in this franchise to finally spread its wings and realize its potential, for the most part.
As fun and violent as this movie is, it's still mostly throwaway entertainment but it was never really meant to be much more than this. However it did manage the most significant step forward in the direction of relevancy to the times. The upper class manipulates and cashes in on the plight of those deemed by them to be, expendable. Masked as a means to help the country move in better, brighter ways, the purge was nothing more than a means to make profit and rid them the burden of supporting the country they are too busy sucking dry. The rich get richer and the poor die. Sound familiar? Of course this film is a dramatic and over-the-top example of our current state of hysteria when it comes to our country's seemingly unending problems but however much exaggeration there is, Election Year still manages a surprising amount of honest commentary, both subtle and very much on the nose.
Election Year isn't anything all that special but it's a significant improvement from its predecessors and is without a doubt the funnest Purge yet. Equal parts action, comedy, and horror, this installment throws some life back into the franchise and makes the idea of more to come not such a bad thing. For a good time watching some B grade movies, The Purge: Election Year is a viable and worthwhile choice to consider.
Rated R For: disturbing bloody violence and strong language
Runtime: 105 minutes
After Credits Scene: No
Genre: Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Starring: Frank Grillo, Elizabeth Mitchell, Mykelti Williamson, Joseph Julian Soria
Directed By: James DeMonaco
Out of 5 Nerdskulls
Story: 3.5/ Acting: 3.5/ Directing: 4/ Visuals: 4
OVERALL: 4 Nerdskulls
Check out the trailer below:
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