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Tag: northern ireland
Garrison, Lough Lelvin, Co.Fermanagh
Let me ask you a question. Could you name the most wonderful experience of your life?
Most people may describe losing their virginity, others the day they met their partner. Whatever the case, just remember and remember well!
I'm going to try and tell you about mine. I say try, because the most wonderful experiences are ones for which words are not enough to describe, a voice does not compare too and even you cannot describe the feelings and sensations you experienced, to yourself!
It all started on a family holiday to Lough Melvin in Co. Fermanagh in 2001. We were camping in a town called Garrison, on the shore of Lough Melvin, through which runs the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. 'Twas into the last night of the trip, about 8:00pm that night, whilst my family was in the camping reception house, when I decided to go for a long walk to gather my thoughts.
As I ambled along I decided to go to the small peer jutting out into the lough. The light had begun to fade, turning the sky ever darker shades of Grey, and the wind was blowing, not strong, but enough to give a chill through the thin jacket I was wearing.
Following the shoreline, I walked into a small stone and concrete parking area and past a white van with a man and woman inside and then to the beginning of the peer.
Looking out onto the lough; the waters were dark and black. A thick carpet of cloud in the sky hid the setting sun from sight. The mountains around me were smooth with a few white house's dotted on them, like stars laid down onto the landscape, and the occasional row of trees marked otherwise unseen field boundaries. I could make out the different shades of green grasses on the hillside and could tell where it was longer in some places.
To my right I looked back at the campsite. The few tents of different shapes and sizes, some with vehicles stationed outside, making mini boundaries, an old rock harbour big enough for the few row boats still tied there and the rocky walls being held in place by huge amounts of thick chicken wire. As I allowed my gaze to travel I could see the large circular, red brick structure with the fresh water tap, the park with a few swings and a climbing frame, the utility shed with showers and toilets with automatic outside lighting and finally the stone wall marking the edge of the site.
In-front of me was a peer maybe 40 or 50 feet long, wide enough only for one person to walk, a metal grab rail on my left and wooden decking at my feet, turned dark brown, almost black by the fading light. The peer was being supported by thick round, concrete pillars below, disappearing into the black swelling waters of Lough Melvin.
I started out. Heading for a small right angled turn at the end of the peer. As I walked, the wooden decking felt damp and slightly slippery from being soaked by the water for so long. My hand clutched the cold metal grab rail, as I looked down I could see the black water through the gaps in the decking. There was no way for me to know just how deep the water was should I have the misfortune to fall in. This realisation sent a chill up my spine and played on my nerves. But on and on I carried till I reached the end. And I looked out at the new sight that welcomed my eyes. I could see more of the Lough, more of the mountains and more of the setting sun. I could see where the thick darkening carpet above me broke and allowed some of the land below to bathe in the suns warmth. Where the carpet did break, streaks of yellow and orange light came flooding downwards and onto the mountains below. Like the heavens above opened for a short time and allowed me to bear witness.
Fear and my now over active imagination took over and I slowly proceeded to walk back along the peer. The planks beneath my feet did in deed feel slippery to my step. At one point I thought I was going to fall in, but my main concern was not for my safety, but for the expensive camera I had taken with me.
Back the way I came and onto the campsite I went. Down to the shore once again. I found a spot just a few feet from the rocky shore, sat down on the damp grass, looked and listened to the wonders happening around me. The sound of the water breaking on the rocks just feet from my feet (excuse the pun) and the sun still trying to break through the thick graying cloud carpet. Eventually the grass beneath me got too wet and I went in search for another observation point.
I found a bench made of thick wood and mounted on two concrete pillars painted white and covered in pebbles for decoration. The dark chocolate coloured seat looked inviting when compared to my current perch.
As I sat on the bench, I shivered both from the cold and the dampness of the seat but my discomfort was soon to be forgotten as I gazed out upon the shore waters once again.
And again I found myself lost in a world of beauty and peace.
The clouds now threatened to rain. I scanned the Loughs length taking in every detail my eyes could find. On the far shore white buildings stood out like stars in the night sky. An array of greens in varying shades marked field boundaries made of grasses, trees and bushes.
As the night progressed and the sun sank further into the distance, the cloud began to break and fracture allowing light, like gleaming blades, to shine upon the mountains. Almost as if God himself were viewing the land. And the waters changed colour to a deep, dark blue haze.
The evening wind started to blow, piercing my jacket and biting at my skin, and causing tiny waves to form in the waters and crashing into the rocky shoreline.
Streaks of oil floating on the surface left behind by some unknown vessel show up like white slime trails.
In the distance mist starts to roll of the shallow mountains like a hazy tide slowly coming towards me. Enveloping everything in its path. The greens and browns and yellows of fields all get swallowed by the encroaching tide.
I look up at the clouds and can clearly see the different layers. The lower parts are a light Grey turning to a graphite shale colour. The upper levels retain a light white, still being fed by the disappearing sun.
In the furthest parts of the Lough a seemingly tiny boat can be made out only by the white colouring of its sail in contrast against the darkening Lough waters.
As I sit, I admire Mother Nature and all her glory. I look at the watch on my wrist and it reads 21:30. Half nine at night. I'd been watching the Lough for what seems like 15 minutes when it has actually been 90 minutes. As I sit I think about what I had the privilege of witnessing, thoughts and feelings of peace and serenity fill my entire body extending to every nerve from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Mere words are not enough to describe this sensation, but it is one I shall never forget.
The gentle dripping of water on my face and jacket tell me it's going to start to rain. Time to go back to the tent and get a bite to eat and still think more of, what has possibly become, one of the most awakening and perfect experiences of my life and one which is likely to remain as fresh at the time of my death, as it is on that very same day in which they took place.
PTSD – Survivors Guilt
The older i get the more I realise just how ingrained this is within myself. It's like looking at yourself and trying to notice the details and not just the overall picture. Within your exterior, hidden in plain sight, are all these details that make up who you are and they are there if you know where to look.
I say exterior, rather than interior, because I am referring to physical clues such as tone of voice and body language. Non-verbal communication.
In my case I have a strong compulsion to punish myself for the slightest wrong that I perceive. Simple things that have caused no distress to others feel to me like they are worthy of reprimand and I MUST be punished.
Recent Example No.1
Last month my wife went on a foreign holiday with her sister for a few days. This holiday had been planned for months but only booked a matter of weeks before the actual departure. I was invited as well but I declined for practical reasons and I also saw an opportunity to spend some time doing some things I always wanted to do but couldn't whilst my wife was here. Nothing bad, just spending some time up the coast at night (ref Kinbane Castle).
The next day, I decided to watch a couple of DVDs and to have a few drinks and let my guard and defences down. It was during this period that my wife and her sister text to ask me what I was up to and I replied via FB messenger that I was sitting naked having a few drinks and beginning to feel tipsy (I don't know why I said this as I was sitting fully clothed) and I suddenly got a phone-call from my sister-in-law saying that my last message was sent on a group chat and that I should delete it ASAP.
Too late; I received a reply from someone who was not meant to see that message saying 'TMI'. I deleted my message right there and then but the damage had been done. My sudden concern turned to embarrassment, even though there was nothing to be embarrassed about. Unfortunately this proved to be a perfect storm as not only was I starting to feel intoxicated, I also hadn't taken my meds the day before nor on this night in question, and my embarrassment quickly turned to anger.
Suddenly, and without hesitation, I sunk my teeth into my left arm and bit myself hard enough to make my teeth ache in my gums. In an instant the alcohol that I was using to lower my guard was now my weapon of choice to further self-harm. I knew I would be sore and there was a possibility that I may have a rough night ahead of me, but I didn't care and I felt like it was something I deserved as I was such an idiot for not being more careful about where I send my messages.
This is like the time when my dad asked me if I wanted to move to Antrim a few years before he was murdered and I said no. I know the names of the people who murdered him and I know mine is not counted amongst them and never will be.
I know I was not to blame for his death; but survivors guilt leaves its own scars and this is one of them.
I know I am being irrational in that I have nothing to feel guilty about. I know I need to stop punishing myself for every slight I do. I know I need to stop letting others make me feel guilty. I know I need to stop treating myself so badly and I know I need to stop self-harming. I know I am a nice guy with a good heart who is caring and compassionate.
But I also know that I hold myself partly to blame and that as I cannot punish the people who killed him, I CAN punish myself as the nearest substitute.
I also know that after 30+ years I need to stop this destructive behaviour as the only person I am hurting is myself…but I can't help it. It feels wrong if I don't punish myself; like I am letting the guilty walk free.
Recent Example No.2
I was driving home one late afternoon and I saw the lights ahead of me turning from green to yellow. I knew in a second or 2 they would be red and I need to make a decision NOW as to what action I need to take. Do I have enough time to stop safely? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
I hit the accelerator and saw the lights change from yellow to red just before I reached them. I had just went through a red light.
My wife had to calm me down because I didn't cause an accident and I wasn't caught by the authorities and I was starting to over-react in a big way over something so simple that it may go unnoticed by other people or it is the kind of thing people do all the time.
It's what I do and whilst I can override these instincts some times…others lead me to some sort of self-harm.
I try, internally, to make them feel better by punishing myself for their wrongs rather than my own. I feel like I take upon my shoulders all the weight and troubles of the world because this is what I have been doing most of my life and, whilst it is entirely illogical, it is something I feel I am compelled to do.
I am just too bloody nice and too caring 😦
Self-Harm – Origin
This is one of those complex stories that I am not sure how to fully get across, so I will undoubtedly revisit this topic in the future.
Such is the nature of Mental Health that when I began to write about this I had forgotten just how complex an issue it was. So this is going to be the start of a series of posts on this topic as there is far too much to cover in one post and those reasons aren't straight-forward.
So, lets start with the simplest of reasons for me doing this – WHY???
Less than 12 months after I witnessed by dad being murdered (don't forget, I was a young child when this happened), during the year where I have no memories, we moved to a new town, I started a new school and just when I needed the most stability I had the least.
I had to deal with the trauma of dads murder and now I had to deal with starting a whole new life in a new house in a new town and going to a new school and trying to start making new friends.
My mind already felt like it was a scrambled egg and now that scrambled egg was put in the microwave and turned up to the max.
All I knew was that everything I once knew was no more and I realised just how little control I had over my life and my choices.
I don't blame my mother for this; she was doing the best she could having now been widowed with 3 children all under the age of 10. I can't imagine that anyone could have done better.
By this stage there were no arrests nor convictions for my dads murder and as I started to form new memories my young mind was in chaos trying to make sense in a senseless world where justice seemed to fail and it just wasn't fair.
I was angry and that anger was just growing and growing and growing.
But being the quiet reserved kind of child that I was, and still am as an adult, I turned that anger (I will post more on my anger later) inwards until I could not contain it and it exploded outwards. I also felt huge guilt and blamed myself for my dads murder as, when he asked if we should move house several years earlier and I said 'no', we never moved and had that move taken place then he would still be alive.
Because I could not target my anger and frustration at the person whom I knew was responsible for my dads murder, I turned my anger towards the next person whom I felt was responsible – me.
So, just to recap, within 12 months of my dads murder:
- Witnessed murder of my dad
- No memories for first 12 months afterwards
- No chance to grieve or come to terms
- Moved to new town
- Started new school
- Had to make new friends
- No arrests or convictions for my dads murder
- Survivors guilt
- Held myself partly to blame for his murder
I began to self-harm partly to punish myself for my dads murder and also partly to show externally all the pain I was feeling internally. I couldn't cope. I didn't know who I was, where I was, what I was supposed to do etc.
In the years that followed, from then to now, I have:
- punched walls / floors / doors
- carved words and sentences into my arm with a variety of blades
- headbutted walls etc
- ate too much
- starved myself
- ate all the wrong types of food
- refrained from drinking any fluids for 34hrs and could have pushed this to at least 36hrs easily
- exercised beyond pain
- beat myself up mentally for each and every mistake I made
- told myself I was ugly, pathetic, I deserved to die, was useless, weak, total scum, better off dead, waste of air, didn't deserve to live – I HATED MYSELF AND FELT PHYSICALLY SICK WHEN I LOOKED IN A MIRROR
- looked up suicide websites for ideas and one idea was called 'psychological suicide' where the goal was to 'kill' your emotions to the point where you don't feel anything. You basically become a Zombie
- became suicidal and began to make plans for my own death
This was the beginning of my journey into self-harm and anger.
The Ride
On a warm summer day in Co. Down, the sun shines brightly from its zenith, looking down upon countryside which is being surveyed by a mysterious, figure-less but curious entity, floating in the air.
The surrounding area is made up of a network of country roads and fields, dotted with houses.
Large birds such as Jackdaws, Magpies and Rooks fly swiftly through the air. From somewhere below, hidden in the bushes, their location known only through their high pitched chirping, dozens of Finches and Blue Tits fly quickly from branch to branch as they scan the nearby houses looking for food and trying to avoid the local cats which patrol the area hoping to make a meal of any unsuspecting creature which they can pounce on.
As I grow accustomed to my few form, I become aware of its mass, its thoughts and memories. I suddenly know all that he knows. I am all that he is. At last I become aware of his senses.
Through helmet-clad ears, a slight breeze carries upon it the sounds of nearby birds, still chirping happily, unaware that soon the calmness of the countryside will be shattered by the roar of a motorcycle.
A breeze picks up and blows through an open visor, cooling a face whose striking blue eyes peer out through a dark visor and survey all that is before him. The road stretching away into the countryside; the white road markings; the cats eyes road reflectors; the birds in the air; the trees and bushes and fields on either side of me.
I listen intently to the wind and scan it for sounds of possible traffic ahead and to the rear of me.
I can feel the adrenaline as it begins to build and course through my veins in response to thoughts signalling what I am about to do.
I start to take deep breaths, trying to get as much oxygen to my muscles, preparing them to act swiftly when I call upon them within seconds of starting off.
In a few bends time I will see, 2 signs stand as guards signalling the beginning of the 60 mile per hour speed limit and the ending of the 30mph village limit.
Adrenaline comes in waves and makes me feel giddy. I feel alive and everything seems to be in slow motion. I know I have entered into the Holy Grail of the mind – I have entered "the Zone". This is where you are so focused on what you're doing that the only thing that matters is what is happening this very second.
Ahead of me the road disappears to the left. As I approach I move to the right of my lane, eyes scanning for each last bit of information: the white lines of the road lengthen signalling the approaching bend is going to tighten.
I slide to the left of the bike and put my knee out to shift my centre of gravity. My eyes seek out the vanishing point where the 2 curbs appear to merge and become as one.
I start to scan with my peripheral vision, looking out for anyone or any animal that might suddenly get suicidal and want to step out in front of me.
I have reached the point where the road starts to turn. With a steady throttle I lean off the bike, using my body-weight to pull it down into a tighter line, whilst keeping my head looking up and ahead and pushing down onto the foot peg with my right foot in preparation of the corner opening out.
I feel the tires grip and as I lean in further. I can feel the wind hitting my chest in a gently and welcome breeze.
Suddenly the corner starts to move away from me signalling I can accelerate should I wish to do so. I start to sit the bike up and move over to the left of my lane as the second bend approaches. I do everything as before only in the opposite direction and then I lean and turn left once again.
This whole time I feel alive. My heart pounds with such force that I fear it wants to burst free of my rib-cage.
Ahead of me are the 2 signs guarding the entrance to the national speed limited roads.
I pull over and stop, turning the engine off and hearing it ping as it starts to cool. I can smell the petrol and oil as it wafts up inside my helmet, carried by the heat coming of the engine.
I want to savour this.
I sit and think about what I have just done and feel endorphins, pleasure hormones, surging though my body. A thought enters my head; "this is better than sex."
With my eyes closed I start to think of what I am about to do and a stray smile grows on my face.
Take a deep breath…hold it…hold it…hold it…and slowly let it out. I take another and hold it, let it out and open my eyes.
I see the trees; hedges and fences forming a corridor through which the tarmac follows with all the weaves and curves that this type of plane brings.
Inside my helmet I can hear the quick, rhythmic, thump thump thumping of my heart as blood is pushed round my body with ever increasing ferocity, in familiar response to the anticipation of what I am about to do.
With a hand, clad in a leather glove and reinforced with various pieces of Kevlar armour, I reach forward and turn the ignition, seeing the familiar green neutral light coming to life.
With my right hand I reach forward, grasp the throttle and push in the ignition button with my thumb, whilst simultaneously pulling in the throttle lever with my left hand and balancing the bike with my right foot, I bring the side-stand up with my left foot.
The bike rumbles into life. A quick twist with my right hand sends the tacho needle upwards, at the same time unleashing a whine from the engine. This is just a taste of what is to come.
With the clutch in, I press downwards on the gear lever with my left foot and ½ feel ½ hear the click as first gear is selected.
Placing my left foot on the ground, I balance the bike between my legs as I pull my black tinted visor down with my right hand, completing a typical biker look and sending me into anonymity from the rest of the world and softening the sound of the engine…but not for long.
I have ridden this road before. I know where it goes. It's one of the tightest and twistyiest roads I have ever found in Northern Ireland.
But this time is different. This time I want to ride it harder and faster than I have ever done before.
I settle back into "The Zone"; a state of awareness so high that everything seems to slow down. I become aware of everything in front me, on the edges of my peripheral vision I start to scan the road for any suicidal creatures looking to spoil my fun by trying to dive under my front wheel. I also become aware of my mirrors and start to constantly scan them more than ever, with the fear that blue flashing lights and a squealing siren brings to my fragile licence.
With everything set, I slowly twist the throttle hearing the revs build and begin to feed out the clutch.
As the bike creeps forward, I quickly bring my feet up to rest on the foot pegs, balancing the balls of my feet on their edges.
Onwards I go and when I reach 20mph and with the clutch fully out, I violently open the throttle.
I need to get up to speed quickly.
I feel my entire body slide back into the seat as the bike surges forward in response to my actions on the throttle. The front wheel grows light as the front end lifts up in a slight wheelie, and then comes back down.
I grip the handle bars tighter and use my feet to push forward in an attempt to brace myself against the violent forces I am about to subject myself to.
I allow a smile to creep across my face as sheer concentration gives away to an emotion. And instant later the smile is gone from my face, once again replaced by sheer concentration.
The dangers involved are not too far from the back of my mind. I know what could happen should I make just a single mistake, no matter how minor it may seem.
The engine pitch gets higher and higher becoming just a scream.
I look down and see the needle of the tacho meter drawing very close to the 10,500rpm red line.
In the same glance I also notice that within less than 2 seconds, I am already at 50mph.
I close the throttle and at the same time I hook the toes of my left boot under the gear lever and pull upwards, short shifting into second gear.
The bike responds by once again by slightly lifting the front wheel.
All around me the hedges, trees and fences merge into one singular blur.
Below me, the white lines in the centre of the road join as one solid line. The cats eyes forming little bumps as they wiz by at ever shortening intervals.
Suddenly! The road reaches upwards very sharply.
I think, "Oh f**k! I forgot about this!"
Too late to do anything about it now.
The front wheel starts to angle upwards, following the road skyward. The handlebars, grown suddenly light in my grip, signal that the front wheel is now airborne.
I brace myself as best as I can as I feel the back wheel rise over the crest of the hump.
For a split second I am flying though the air like an airplane. The wind is whipping at my leathers and helmet; pushing hard against my chest.
Then I feel my stomach heave as the rest of me, bike and all, begins the violent descent towards the road, wheels still spinning in midair.
With my weight already sent rearwards by the acceleration force of the bike, the rear wheel hits the ground hard; a split second later it is joined by the front wheel.
The rear-end begins to squirm and fishtail, as minor undulations on the road surface magnifies the forward motion of the bike, upsetting the handling.
Just as quickly as the bike is unsettled, it straightens out and I regain total control, backing off the throttle just long enough to regain control of all of my senses.
"F**k! That could have been nasty!" go the thoughts, quickly through my head as I luckily get away with what could have been a serious accident. "I'll remember where that is next time so I don't hit it at the same speed."
I look ahead through the darkened visor at the smooth tarmac 50 yards ahead of me, as it turns sharply to the right. The hedgerows and trees giving me early warning of just how sharp the impending turn really is.
I back off the throttle slightly to give myself more control. Racing towards it, I lift myself up just enough to slide ½ an ass-cheek off the seat, put my knee out for better control, and start to lean the bike over, feeling its stiffness as it tries to resist; my eyes totally focused on the point ahead of me where the corners of the sides of the road seem to merge in unison into one – the vanishing point; constantly scanning the sides of the roads with my peripheral vision, alert for any sudden and unexpected dangers.
The bend begins to straighten up. I start to stand the bike up, getting on the throttle at the same time and gathering more and more speed as I bring the bike completely upright.
As suddenly as the last bend is over, the next bend appears.
I read the road and it tells me it's just as sharp as the last one.
I point the bike towards the middle of the road and start braking…hard! I feel like the bike is trying to throw me over the handlebars, as the suspension compresses and the front end dips. Senses learned from years of brisk road riding tell me that I could brake harder if I wanted to, but I have already slowed to the ideal speed for this corner.
Just as before, I hang ½ off the bike and scan the road and hedges for potential hazards. Midway through the corner when the road begins to open up for me, I am back accelerating hard, short-shifting through 3rd and 4th gears.
The next bend is 100 yards ahead of me and turning right. I look at the edges of the road; the trees growing smaller tell me that the road is angling down.
I scan the fields to either side of me looking for any breaks in the hedge which may signal a hidden entrance to a field. I also look ahead as far as I can, examining the road for any mud or pot holes.
The smooth tarmac is completely clear of any debris.
As I approach the corner, I back off the throttle, brake hard, pull in the clutch and press my left foot down, feeling the click as 4th gear is disengaged and replaced by 3rd. I press down again and engage 2nd. At the same time I have manoeuvred myself over to the left 3rd of the road.
As I approach the bend I see that it is quite open, so I stay in 2nd, lean the bike over, and keep a steady speed through the bend.
A nice, long, sweeping right hander.
Below me, I can feel the tyres gripping the road, telling me there is nothing to worry about.
Suddenly, the road swings back onto itself as the road turns to the left.
I feel a moment of sheer panic and utter fear as I realise that I am going fast. Too fast! I can't turn at this speed!
My mind races into overtime. Thoughts fly though my head so quick I don't have time to consciously process them.
I think, "Too fast! Too fast!"
"Sit the bike up…quick!"
I fight the fear of crashing as my eyes become fixed on the edge of the road.
Years of experience honed on the road, come to my subconscious and instinct takes over. I think, "Don't panic. You can do this! Don't look where you don't want to go. Look though the bend! Concentrate! You can do this!"
My brain tells me to brake…hard! Brake now!
"No! Don't brake yet! Brake now and you will lose the front end! Sit the bike up first, brake hard on the straight and you will make it!"
I can't move quickly enough. Things are happening too fast!
Somehow I manage to get the bike upright, long enough to scrub off as much speed as I can.
I hang off the left side and just hope I can make it. I hope the tyres don't loose grip or I'm screwed!
I lean further and further than I have ever leant before.
Heat and red hot pain shoot through my knee and up my leg, like I have just been touched with an electric grinder, as I feel the road through my leathers.
Instinctively I lift my knee up a fraction of an inch. And the pain fades slightly.
Then the road begins to straighten out.
I start to stand the bike up again and back further off the throttle. I allow the engine breaking to take over and as I come fully upright and pull over to the side of the road as relief sweeps through me.
I made it!
As I select neutral, put the side-stand down and turn the engine off. The entire world speeds up as my senses return to normal. I can't believe that I just made it.
I still feel giddy with the adrenaline in my system and with it comes exhaustion and relief. My body suddenly feels very heavy. My arms and legs feel like lead weights. I feel physically drained. All that panicking really took a lot of effort out of me. I am so glad it is over.
I think, "It was only 5 seconds ago that I was having a great time before nearly being caught out by that bend." I'm bloody lucky I didn't crash!
I look down at my knee and see that my leathers are only scuffed. But my knee is aching.
I've had a lucky escape. "Think I will take it easy on the way home…then again, maybe not."
Calmness washes over me. I start to feel his body relaxing. The near miss on the bend, which happened just seconds ago, begins to fade into blackness as it becomes a distant memory and the rider, feeling somewhat confused, remembers nothing of what has just happened.
As we separate, the land and the rider begin to fall away as I rise higher and higher above the countryside.
Through senses beyond human comprehension I look down upon the being with who I was as one just seconds ago. I watch as he shakes his head and ponders how he arrived at his current location without remembering how he got there.
Unknown thoughts and assumptions fill his mind just long enough to make him hesitate for a split second before deciding to continue on his journey.
He starts the bike up, retracts the side-stand and selecting 1st gear. Quickly opening the throttle and releasing the clutch at the same time which has the desired effect of hoisting the front wheel several feet above the ground as he speeds off down the road.
As the bike and the rider disappear into the distance and the sound of the engine slowly fades into nothingness, the only sound remaining is that of the soft breeze as it blows through the branches of the trees, rustling their leaves. Then the birds' return, their chirping once again filling the air…until the next time.
As for me? I carry on drifting though the air and into the distance, leaving behind Co. Down, but retaining all the pleasurable experiences I gained whilst being a biker for a fleeting few minutes.
Feeling unsteady, I ride off slowly, still trying to calm down. Still trying to fully realise what I had just been through, only one thought lingers in the back of my head as a wicked grin slowly grows upon my face. "The next time I come round here I'm going to nail that bend!"
What is a Bad Day like for me?
If I was to walk down the street with a bandage or a limb in a plaster cast or even in a wheelchair, I doubt very much that I would have taken as much verbal abuse as I have and I think any physical attacks would have been avoided in their entirety, though I am sure I would receive some sort of verbal attack.
I also seriously doubt that anyone that has ever attacked me in ****** would have done so had I had an arm in a plaster cast.
But with a mental disability, such as PTSD, no-one sees it. No-one sees, nor do I believe they would even care, the impact their words can have on me.
I keep telling myself it's their opinion and I don't have to listen to it…but it comes down to the following:
Are their words stronger than my own ability to ignore them? Sadly the answer is sometimes 'yes'.
I fight to ignore them, but I'm also fighting not to self-harm as a result. I don't want them to have that kind of power over me. But when I am in a vulnerable mood then my resolve is not strong enough and each word uttered strikes me as though it were a physical blow.
One of the things I have to remember is that my Disability is a hidden one. It is not on show for the public, nor most people, to see. For me it is a private issue as it involves disclosing a lot about my past.
However, I have learned that there are ways to disclose enough so that the listener has a good idea of my past, whilst withholding anything I do not wish them to know e.g. the extent of my self-harm or the emotional turmoil I live with daily.
Physical disabilities are understood by the public. They are, at times, easy to spot, and a Blue Badge is something they can instantly understand.
Mental disabilities can be hidden and, unless they are disclosed, are not easily spotted. Even if they are made known, I do not believe there is the awareness out there for people to understand the scope and weight and impact these disabilities can have on peoples' lives.
What is it like to live with my Mental Disability?
It's hard work…would be the simple answer. I've spent years working hard to keep my symptoms under control…trying to hone my thoughts so that I am completely aware of my emotions, especially my annoyance, frustration and anger*; which are 2 separate emotions.
I am ALWAYS 100% aware 24/7/365 of my anger. I am reflexively on the lookout for any warning signs that I am getting annoyed, frustrated or angry. I've maintained this heightened awareness for 20+ years now. It rarely takes me off guard. Though it can surprise me just how quickly I can get angry at times and I always catch it in time so that I remove myself from that situation before I do something I would enjoy at the time but later regret once the flames have died down.
On a normal day I can function quite normally. You would never know I have Mental Health issues. I would say I am quite an intelligent. I have a good heart and my intentions are always honourable.
My mood can swing quite dramatically from one day to the next. One day I can be highly functional where nothing can bother me no matter how much abuse or threats I get from the public.
Then the next I am living on a 'hair trigger', where it would take just a simple comment to send me on a downward spiral.
I feel I need to talk about this. If I were to give it a name; a form; I would describe it as a Dragon.
My Dragon
My Journey began
So many years ago
Where it will end
I do not know
The scars I have
You cannot see
They are not on my skin
But hidden inside me
The rage that was bottled
Has now begun to crack
Once it shatters
There's no going back
The fight is on
The dragon has awoken
Now its container
Has finally broken
I will beat this anger
And I will thrive
I am now stronger
And I will survive
You will not kill me
That much is true
You've done your worst
And I say 'Fuck off' to you!
Whilst my Dragon slumbers there is peace in my heart and all is right with the world. But once he awakens…he just wants to watch the world burn. He is fire and fury at all the injustice I have ever experienced. He doesn't care for others or their emotions. His pain, our pain, is too numb for the empathy of others.
My Dragon feels like raw power. I feel agony when he is fully awake. My body aches all over from holding back the pain and emotion I am feeling. I feel my legs give out from underneath me and I fall to the ground. And yet the fire doesn't go out.
I cry. Fuck I cry. I let my dragons' full fury out and feel him unleashed upon the universe. I cry silent tears and scream my loudest…silent scream. Not making a sound is my last and only remaining strand of control. A silent protest to my Dragon, telling him he has not bested me completely.
I HATE him and he hates me.
What is a bad day like?
On Monday 19th February 2018 I experienced, what I would describe as, 'an episode'. This is what I call the results of a small events leading to a mental breakdown where all my defences fail and I am in a state of visible distress.
I think I slept OK the night before. I woke up several times during the night (this is normal) and didn't feel tired. I think my cats wanted fed at 0400 and 0500 when they don't get fed until around 0600.
I made a minor mistake this morning and it put me in a bad mood. But I was trying to keep it under control and was looking forward to a day working in ***** on my own so I can blow off some steam by going for a walk and pounding the pavement.
My mood worsened when I saw my colleague walking into my office. I was annoyed my solo day was ruined. I began my shift 10mins early and I kept my head down and my eyes looking only a few feet ahead of where I was walking. Actually I nearly bumped into a few people.
I felt very annoyed and recognised the warning signs and began to consciously do breathing exercises to calm my mood down. I knew I was in danger of having 'an episode'.
I was OK at first; I was busy concentrating on my breathing and keeping a lid on my anger and listening to my music on a black earphone, which was helping immensely with my mood as it was giving me something else to focus on.
As I walked past the male he tried to get my attention. I thought nothing of it and continued on. Then I heard him again. I turned around and saw him giving me the finger and smiling.
That was it. That's all it took. I felt my Dragon waking up. I knew now that I was in deep trouble. I could feel those angry flames rising and the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes.
Regardless, I fought those flames with every ounce of strength and will power I had. But it was too late. My Dragon had awoken and I knew I needed to return to my sanctuary.
Once I was there, I took a break; though I still didn't feel safe to let loose in the way that I needed to as I knew my colleague could walk in at any moment.
Seeing me during a full blown 'episode' is every distressing. I don't release all of my shackles; I never do as I am too scared to turn my Dragon loose. He just wants to destroy the world and see everything burn.
I finally began to cry as I felt the full might of the pain and fury I was trying to hold back. But I fight to stop every time a tear finds freedom. I went outside and grabbed the metal railings and just shook it hard. It swayed dangerously enough that I realised I was in danger of damaging more property.
I stood at the door and cursed the universe for giving me all this pain when I don't deserve it. I feel my anger crystallise towards my dad and I feel furious with him for leaving me when I was 8 years old. I feel huge unimaginable guilt at feeling this emotion and my anger doubles and so does the pain.
I had terrible and distressing thoughts going through my head…feeding the fire I was trying so desperately to quench.
15mins later I rang ***** and explained what had happened. I rang again 15mins after that and following a conversation, during which time my previous fears were realised when my colleague came in and stood near me and heard more of my conversation than I wanted him to, it was decided that I was going home sick. I said I was throwing up and explained what he needed to do.
On the way home my anger was still strong. Those distressing thoughts, now made worse by the guilt I was feeling at having them, drove me to tears once again.
The drive home was dangerous. I was fighting a war; and sometimes winning, sometimes losing the battle that was raging within my own mind. A silent fight which only I was aware off. At times I was physically shaking with rage…whilst the entire time I was telling myself to calm down; focus on my breathing. Keep my mind clear and don't think about anything.
When I finally got home I felt some relief to be somewhere safe and where I can fully express all the complex emotions and pain that were going through my head and manifesting physically through my body.
I made it into the kitchen and I just felt exhausted. I the strength I was using to keep my emotions in check was finally depleted. My legs gave out and I collapsed onto the kitchen floor.
Then the pain came…there was no holding it back. Emotional pain made physical. I felt like my entire body was in agony and I was screaming and crying as hard as my lungs would allow, but only a whisper escaped my lips as I did not want to alert anyone to my private torture.
Eventually the pain subsided enough for me to stand and compose myself; though it took several days for my anger to fully subside.
Sadly I know that this will happen again. It's only a matter of time. It hasn't been the first time this has happened and I know it will most definitely not be the last. It's only a question of when…?
It Began With Murder…
Note: Names and dates of this incident have been altered to protect identities, but that does not change the fact that this murder took place and nor does it diminish the everlasting affects it has had on me and my family in the years that have since past.
We each have an origin story. A series of events that have taken us from one location and have led us to where we are now.
In my short intro I state:
"I am someone who has spent the last 30yrs living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of being a Victim/Survivor of 'The Troubles' in Northern Ireland. My PTSD has driven me to the brink of suicide more than once."
The question you are probably wondering is…how did I get here?
It was the late 1980's and 'The Troubles' were still going on. The news frequently mentioned punishment beatings, bombings, shootings and murders.
My mum had just left with my baby sister to go to a local Chinese to get some dinner and my dad was standing at the end of the driveway have a beer with a few of the neighbours.
Late one warm, dry summer night as I was playing on the pavement outside my house with my younger brothers toy car, I noticed a pair of car lights coming up my street.
The car stopped outside my house and as soon as I saw the men wearing masks I knew there was going to be a murder.
I ran for the house and when I was mid-flight I turned and saw the sparks coming out of the barrel of the gun and my dad falling to the ground. I knew he was dead.
I later found out that he had been shot between 5-7 times, including twice on the ground, and any one of those bullets would have been fatal.
Subsequent police investigations discovered that this was a purely sectarian murder of an innocent family man, who left behind a widow and 3 young children…one of whom witnessed his murder.
Our lives were forever turned upside down that night and we have been living with the consequences ever since.
But as this is my journey, and I cannot speak for the other witnesses or family members, I can tell you that I cannot remember the 12 months following this murder. For that year my mind was, and still is, a complete blank.
The ripples of that night are still flowing today as the blood flows in my veins. In the years that past I have developed PTSD and its affects are life-changing and impact on every aspect of my life. The older I get the more I can see just how complex and destructive it is.
I have been through more counselling than I ever believed possible (I lost count after seeing my 15th or 16th counsellor/psychologist. I have spent the last 30yrs (and I will expand on this, and other issues raised in this post, in a separate post) trying every coping strategy I can think off, whilst avoiding illegal drugs and alcohol abuse.
I have battled suicidal impulses, self-harm, depression and much more. But sharing these behaviours is the point of this blog.
At the time of writing this I am older now than my dad ever will be…and brings its own problems.
To date, despite knowing the identities of the gunmen, no-one has been brought to justice and due to the forensic counter-measures taken at the time, it is unlikely anyone will ever spend even so much as a single day in jail for this horrible crime.
And to make matters worse, I was told that even in the extreme unlikelyhood of someone actually going to jail for murdering my dad, under the terms of the Good Friday Agreement 1998, the maximum the person(s) would be sentenced to is 4yrs and they would be freed in 2yrs or less. I wouldn't call 4yrs for intentional and premeditated murder is not justice; but these killers have given myself and my family, through their actions, a life-sentence.
My dads death is, and always will be, an unsolved murder…
Just a Thought…
After a long dry period of warm sunshine during which time we spend many a day going for walks or laying about and basking in the heat when we get the chance, it is easy to forget the cleansing affect a downpour can have, especially early in the morning just after sun rise.
The leaves on the trees open up and the air feels fresher and is filled with the smells of nature, as if the earth has just awoken from a slumber and is now stretching and readying for the day ahead.
As I drive towards my place of work I see a layer of cloud resting on Cave Hill like a veil, partially cloaking the mountain from view. The memory of a once occupied ancient fort perched atop and now in ruins, returns to my consciousness and I can't help but wonder about the thoughts of the former inhabitants of this ancient land and what it would have been like to be amongst them on a morning such as this, overlooking what would become Belfast.
Looking out to the shore as I drive along continuing my journey, the high tide of the sea is filled with hundreds of seabirds all resting on the gentle movements of an otherwise apparently calm sea.
Occasionally I catch a glimpse of an upturned bird seconds before it disappears below the surface of the water in search of a tasty marine meal before resurfacing like a bobbing cork.
The sound of the rain against my windscreen pulls my thoughts out of their daydream and, with a rush, all the sounds of traffic associated with modern life rush to greet my ears.
This entire time, which may only have been a few seconds, my eyes have been staying alert to the possible dangers of the road which accompany 21st Century living.
When I have a few quiet moments at work to reflect on today's car journey, my thoughts once again return to the past.
The Norman Castle which has stood ever vigilant over the Lough for nearly 800 years now stands out amidst the modern world. It's presence never waning and constantly serving as a reminder of where we came from and with closer thought, of battles fought and won. Brave warriors throughout the centuries fighting to survive countless savage and bloody battles.
I often wonder what it would have been like to have lived during the time of its construction. How different would Carrickfergus have been and looked. What remains today of that ancient landscape that is still recognisable today? Some of the town streets have barely altered their path from the Medieval period during which they were first marked out. The town walls still stand just as imposing as ever, though now the threat has passed and their defensive purpose now rendered obsolete; they remind us of a more violent time during which they were very much needed and actively used.
Along the Marine Highway still stands the original sea wall marking a shoreline that was still in existence 100yrs ago. The main road and associated gardens now occupy land that was once owned by the sea and reclaimed at the hand of man in an effort to keep up with the ever changing and evolving society in which we now live.
The full moon and stars of our own galaxy would shine like billions of fairy lights hung high in the night's curtain, brighter and more startling in ways that there are few opportunities to observe in today's world of light pollution, which shields their glory from view.
Still, we must carry on the traditions of old laid down by our ancestors, in the best manner appropriate for the outcome that we seek to achieve.
We find ways to incorporate our love of the Goddess and God into our everyday life and each environment in which we find ourselves.
And all we have to do to reconnect with nature is to go for a walk and feel the same wind, sun and rain upon our bodies as did our ancestors before us and become at one with them and with the spirits of the earth and sky.
Kinbane Castle
As a resident of Northern Ireland I have the privilege of having access to a huge amount of local and interesting history and all parts of the provence are within a 2 1/2 hr drive from my home.
I recently ventured to the North Coast, Kinbane Castle to be exact and, having been warned about the steep descent along concrete steps, down I went anyway; knowing the steep ascent back to the car park would burn my legs and torture my lungs.
I knew I would be in trouble as soon as I started down; but the enticing view of the castle combined with my trusty Canon EOS 650D, was enough to override my caution and I had already decided the end price would be worth the experience.
Perched on an outcrop of rock and mostly in ruins, I was already seeing the Black and White photos begging to be taken. The deep blue sky with vivid white clouds and low angle would make a wonderfully striking image of a once striking structure.
I could sense the history of the castle as I got closer and closer. I could almost see the people who built, lived and died in this castle…over 400 years ago. I could easily see their hard labour and toil taking place. The sounds of happy children once laughing and playing was whispered by the wind as it blew across my ears.
Inside the remains of the Keep, I had no idea how the former residents accessed the level above; the only remaining evidence are the familiar large square holes where the wooden joists once stretched across the void to create rooms above. I couldn't see any recesses or protruding foundations that would indicate the presence of a stone staircase.
Looking around the remains of the courtyard, I wondered about the lives of the people who once walked upon the same earth on which I now stood. I am a visitor to their home…and in some cases I am sure I walked upon the same ground where they also bled and died. That realisation triggers a deep sense of respect in my heart.
But in other ways these memories of history live on. Their descendants walk the land which has remained the same. I've no doubt that I have spoken or seen them during my many visits to the North Coast.
I also took away a degree of comfort and familiarity with these locals, whose names history has long forgotten, when I think that they looked across the water and observed Rathlin Island. The same sun and wind and rain strikes my face that also warmed, blew and soaked these Irish Ancestors.
Short Intro
Hi, this is my first Blog and I am just posting a short introduction.
I am someone who has spent the last 30yrs living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of being a Victim/Survivor of 'The Troubles' in Northern Ireland. My PTSD has driven me to the brink of suicide more than once.
I am a fossil collector, avid reader, writer and photographer. I enjoy spending time with my family and spending days, and nights, out exploring the wonders of this little Emerald Isle.
I guess the main reason for writing this is to document some of my experiences living daily with PTSD or a Mental Illness. At least with a physical disability or wound you can see it clearly. Crutches, wheelchair, bandages, a limp, missing limbs etc.
But with a mental illness you don't see my struggles as easily. Sometimes I can be having a super bad day and I can walk right past you and you would have no idea of the fierce battle I am having with my thoughts within my own mind.
When this mental pain gets too much, it actually turns physical. I can be in agony; but because my pain is not coming from the outside, though it may have been triggered by an external event, people cannot see it.
Basically these are some of the thoughts that go through my head and rather than leaving them there I have chosen to share them here.
Welcome to my world…


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In this post we have enlisted some of the most popular iOS apps for programmers. Here's the list of some:
There are more than 200,000 Apps available in iOS App store and hence it's pretty difficult to find out specific Apps for programmers that fit to your requirements. This article lists some of the Apps which can be handy for programmers and developers.
SDK Tutorials
SDK Tutorials is a simple App which is especially suitable for beginner programmers who want to write iPhone Apps. This App includes step-by-step instructions for beginners to start coding and also nineteen code snippets. The Application also provides Airprint which can help you to take both PDF and paper version of the tutorial. The App can be downloaded from iPhone App store for 9.99$.
For i: Code Editor for iPad
This is an excellent code editor which helps in you editing code using your iPad and includes visual keyboards that can assist programmers to code in faster and effective manner. The app permits file transfer through local Wi-Fi connection and has support for different programming languages including SQL, Python, Ruby, PHP, HTML, Java , Objective –C and C#. If you are a programmer in any of the mentioned languages, you can this code editor for editing your Applications.
Domainstorm is an application especially for web developers which help them to purchase domain names for your new websites. It is a free App from network Solutions that is aimed for helping web developers in purchasing domain names. It can assist you to find new domains and brainstorm ideas for new domain names and allows you to bookmark favorite domain names for later purchase. It can also provide contact information for current domain names including WHOIS information.
Evernote is a free App for taking important notes including programming tricks, tutorials and different information about your new Programs. It has a web interface which is user-friendly and can be accessed from Windows/Mac clients as well. It is very useful notes maker for programmers. It even allows users to save passwords in Encrypted formats for different applications.
Many programmers and developers get irritated when a critical web server is down or not reachable. iSSH is a handy App for programmers which has different methods of connectivity including VNC (Virtual Network computing), Telnet, SSH and various other features. The price of this App is 9.99 dollars and can be downloaded from Apple Store. It is compatible with both iPad and iPhone and can be used to access your Desktop/Laptop from remote location. It can be handy tool for programmers who travel frequently to many places and want to access their Desktop on the move.
Nezume is an App especially targeted for web developers who use Ruby programming language. The App is complementary tool for Heroku service and helps you access the Heroku Apps using your iPhone. It can help in managing your console/execute tasks, toggle maintenance mode and also restarting your web application. It costs 4.99 dollars and can be purchased from App store.
iOctocat is a simple App which helps to get information regarding open source programming from GitHub. It can provide personal news feeds, site search, individual commits, repositories and user profiles. This can be an excellent App for beginner programmers who want to learn programming for iOS.

subset: commoncrawl


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Purveyors of Time Concierge Property Management moves to the Monterey Peninsula
After 12 years in Los Angeles, Purveyors of Time Concierge Property Management has moved to the Monterey Peninsula. This move took place a year and a half ago, but with such a big move, we went through many changes, and are ready to start working with new principals on the Central Coast. It has been quite a fun year and a half getting to know the area and its people. We look forward to meeting more of you as time goes by
As the holidays once again are inevitably around the corner, many companies utter the old saying: "what are we going to get everyone for the holidays?" It's the same quandary over and over each year. Companies struggle with the very idea of what to send out to their loyal clientele who help keep them in business as the clock ticks closer and closer to the gift-giving deadline.
Our blogs are written by our various team members


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Prices / UK
Small – £1.99
Medium/Large – £3.99
FREE on orders over £55
3-5 working days*
Channel Islands
3-5 working days*
Prices / Europe
Europe (incl Republic of Ireland)
3-7 working days*
Prices / Rest of the World
Rest of the world
5-10 working days*
Delivery / How Long
UK 3-5 working days*
Europe 3-7 working days*
Rest of world 5-10 working days*
Delivery / Processing
Orders will be processed within 48 hours of cleared payment.
Excluding weekends and bank holidays.
*excluding bank holidays
Don't see your country on our shipping options? Send us a message via our contact page, or email us at email@example.com .


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You know the feeling when you receive an email from one of your faves in your inbox? Not those people who constantly pitch, pitch, pitch and sell, sell, sell (if that's you, don't worry – I've been there, too).
But stop for a second to remember that feeling when you get an email from a blogger who really makes an effort to build a relationship with you. The blogger who sends you information that really answers your questions. Well, did you know you can be that informative blogging, and at the same time, make money and build your mailing list?
It's no secret your mailing list has the potential to bring your business profit. Everyone says it: the money's in the list.
So I am sharing our sleaze-free strategy to grow a targeted mailing list that can actually make you money at the same time.
For this strategy, I am going to talk about creating a free, information-packed email course for your mailing list. It takes extra time to create the free email course, but the time definitely pays off in the end.
This article assumes you know the basics of setting up your mailing list. If you want more guidance when it comes to setting up your mailing list, click here.
This post contains affiliate links to keep our blog up and running!
To learn more about affiliate links, click here.
Step 1: Target your audience.
The more targeted your email list is, the better you can target your sales. Which means, yes, you'll be able to create products specifically answering their problems. So, yes, you'll be able to make more money from that targeted mailing list.
One mistake I made when I first started blogging (on my personal lifestyle blog) was creating opt-ins for a variety of audiences interested in different things (travel, blogging, social media). And I kept them all on one list.
This prompted those who signed up for my email list for its travel content to click unsubscribe when I sent out blogging-related updates. And I didn't even feel comfortable sending out travel updates knowing that a majority of my audience was interested in blogging tips.
So: TARGET. YOUR. AUDIENCE!
If you do create opt-ins for different audiences, separate your email lists. So, all the people who gave their email address to you for a travel freebie can go in one list where you send travel-related updates. And others who signed up for your weight loss freebies can hang out in one list where you send weight loss and fitness related updates.
Protip: I have used Mailchimp, Mailerlite, and Convertkit and seriously find that Convertkit is the best platform when it comes to targeting your audience. You can tag your readers based on links they click, or freebies they subscribe to.
Click here to try Convertkit for free for 14 days.
Step 2: Ask your audience for feedback.
Don't be afraid to ask your audience for feedback about your freebie as you design it. Tell them what it's about, and ask what they struggle with. Their replies will practically create that freebie for you!
This will do at least two things:
- get your audience excited, and build up hype for your email course
- give you tons of amazing ideas on what to include and expand upon
I asked my audience for feedback and not only did they let me know what they wanted me to really focus on in the course, but they also gave me ideas for future posts and products.
Don't have a mailing list?
Well, you can do a number of things:
- Poll your audience using Insta stories.
- Send out a poll on Twitter.
- Poll members of a Facebook group.
While this may not be your audience specifically, polling large groups of people helps you identify if there is a need/want for your email freebie idea.
Step 3: Create an information-packed email freebie for your list.
Now that you know your audience, and what they're struggling with, create a freebie for them.
Start by coming up with an idea based on their problems and your expertise.
An email course is an automated series of emails with daily lessons that solves your readers' problems. After you decide on what your email course will be about, start planning.
Once you finish writing your email course, create your course using an Automation feature.
Mailerlite is perfect for anyone who's just beginning to set up their business or email list.
- Mailerlite is free for your first 1,000 subscribers.
- They offer all features (including email automation and landing pages) with the free plan.
- Mailerlite features an interface that is easy-to-use.
- Once you do reach 1,000 subscribers, Mailerlite is affordable to maintain (higher plans start at $10/month).
Click here to sign up for Mailerlite for free!
Using Mailerlite's Automation feature, you can create a new workflow for your irresistible email course that will draw crowds.
Even though Mailerlite is a great platform for you to get started…eventually, I recommend upgrading your email service to Convertkit.
Convertkit makes email automation totally easy, and we seriously facepalmed when we signed up. We wished we had signed up sooner.
Want to see for yourself? Click here to get a free, 14-day Convertkit trial.
Step 4: Create a landing page for your email course.
Next, create a landing page for your email course. I used Mailerlite's Forms feature to create my landing page.
On the first page:
- include who the course is designed for
- let them sign up
On the thank you page:
- explain more about the value they just received
- offer your upgrade
We don't have a huge mailing list, so we didn't make a majority of our income from this.
But this could be a great way to grow your business and make sales without having to manually pitch over and over again.
Need help designing a landing page and thank you page? Email us at email@example.com for a quote.
Step 4: Offer an opt-in upgrade after sign-up.
Once you complete your email course, offer an upgrade. Your upgrade should be related to your email freebie (the reason why they signed up), but solve a different problem.
- an ebook related to content similar to the opt-in
- $1 trial to a product or service you offer
- an audit (e.g. blog, Pinterest, branding, budget, etc.)
- an offer to receive all lessons now instead of day-by-day
What's the difference between a freebie, and an upgrade?
Well design your freebie based on what your audience totally needs. Then, offer an upgrade that maybe addresses their need, but tells them how they can really take their current self a step further.
It's important that when you offer the upgrade, you tell them the transformation they will go through thanks to their purchase.
If you need somewhere to host your upgrade and conduct the transaction, use Sendowl. Sendowl offers Paypal and Swipe integration, as well as the possibility of accepting affiliates for your products.
After payment, Sendowl automatically sends either your digital product or an automated email.
Their lowest plan starts at $10/month, and you get a 30-day free trial to start.
You can also remind your new subscribers about the upgrade at the end of your course. They've had several days of your sweet sweet expertise in their inbox, so some of them will be excited to pay for the upgrade at the end!
Make Money and Build Your Mailing List
Just remember: everything you offer should be in some way related.
You know your audience and their problems, so you create a multiple-day email course that totally walks them through one of their problems. After they sign up for your email course (that solves their problems), offer a problem-solving product or upgrade.
See, you know they are more likely to purchase the upgrade because your email course (or whatever free email freebie you offer) answers a problem they have. And so does the upgrade.
The key is to answer your audience's problems at every step of the way.
When you strive to solve problems at every step of the way, you build your authority and increase the likelihood of making that sale.
The best conversation happens in the comments! What are ways you build your mailing list? What do you offer to your readers?


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£88.99 – £247.99
Think Rugs Sixteenth Avenue is a collection of high quality machine-woven contemporary rugs. The rugs feature a range of multi-coloured trendy designs that are suitable for any room setting in particular as a covering for wood, laminate or stone. In addition, the rugs are made using hard-wearing advanced soft polypropylene, which is easy to clean and does not shed, and thus easy to live with.These rugs are created using the highest quality super soft polypropylene and exudes quality and style. The collection features an array of multi-coloured trendy designs. Made in Egypt to the highest of standards. This is a must have rug.
There are no reviews yet.
Only logged in customers who have purchased this product may leave a review.


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COBIT 5 stands for "Control Objectives for Information and Related Technology"
COBIT 5 framework is designed by ISACA and I.e. globally accredited.
This framework is designed for developing Information Technology, Governance and Management.
COBIT 5 is the only business framework for governance and management of enterprise IT
COBIT 5 aims at evaluating existing business processes in order to identify the gaps and improve the processes.
COBIT 5 course's tools, models and principles are globally accepted and are also applicable to business executives of industries other than IT.
COBIT 5 divides in to two different paths first is ASSESOR and another one is IMPLIMENATATION.
Both path starts with COBIT 5 foundation and after that we have to decide either we take ASSESOR or we can take IMPLEMENTATION.
With foundation and one of the path from assessor or implementation and with 5 years of experience in same field you can be a Certified COBIT 5 member.


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SAI International School Wins Global Education Awards 2019
Bhubaneswar: SAI International School has won the highly prestigious 'Emerging School of The Year Award' in recognition to its contribution in transforming education delivery and bringing an enhancement in learning outcomes, hence making a profound impact on the present education system.
Founder of SAI International, Bijaya Kumar Sahoo, received the citation from Prince Lakshyaraj Singh Mewar of Udaipur and Shri Sonam Wangchuk, Founder SECMOL and HIAL, at the Global Education Awards 2019, held in Udaipur on Saturday, August 10, 2019.
In the event, around 500 educators from across the globe brainstormed for two days on creating life-long learners ready for 21st century.
The Award recognises outstanding contributions made by individuals and organisations involved directly or indirectly in education through pioneering practices and use of innovation and technology to enrich the lives of learners everywhere.
Sahoo was also invited to deliver his talk at the Global Educators Fest held on Friday, August 8, 2019 at Udaipur. He spoke on the topic, 'Encouraging creativity in the classroom and making children lifelong learners', which highlighted on how to create a student-centric creative learning classroom environment.
Others who spoke include Super 30 founder Anand Kumar, South Asia-Cambridge University Press Managing Director Ratnesh Kumar Jha, Doon School Headmaster Matthew Raggett, and USA's ASCD Director Sean Slade.


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Acquired: Rescue / shelter organization
Gender: Male
By pslove
United States
Posted Jun 01, 2014
If you are interested in learning more about Cherry Head Conures, you should pick up a copy of the book, "Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill." You will fall in love with them. It is a true story of someone who got very involved with the ones that live wild in San Francisco. They became his life.
My experience with the Cherry Head is in fostering. I fostered one that was partially plucked when the family couldn't keep him anymore. The bird had one horrible bite. You haven't lived until you hear the crunch of a conure's beak break into all layers of your skin and get down into the muscle. He is very proud of himself afterwards.
Aside from the awful bites, he was a doll. My African Greys didn't care for him because he was a noisy conure. When he was trying to sing with my greys one day, one turned to him and said, "That's not singing! That's just screamin'!" So, I guess my birds are elitists and had no room in their hearts for conures.
Against my better judgement, a boy of eleven years old wanted to adopt him and his parents agreed. I nervously let him pick up the bird and that bird was the gentlest thing on early with that boy. It blew our minds. The boy adopted him and they were instant best friends. He never had a problem with the bird.
Cherry Head Conures have lots of energy and love loud music and screaming. They are truly heavy metal birds, the noisier and crazier things are, the happier they are. They sing (not attractively), they dance and they talk.
They can feather chew and pluck their feathers on their chest and shoulders. So, sooner or later you might have one that has a bald spot on its belly. It is fairly certain at this point that a few will do this in the wild also.


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DARKNESS FALLS by A. E. Faulkner
Price: $14.95
Code: FAE_NF1
Weight: 1.00 pounds
DARKNESS FALLS by A. E. Faulkner
March 31, 2019 Trade size paperback | Nature's Fury # 1
As Nature tires of human destruction, two sisters must face a changing environment that stands between them and survival. When Quinn and Riley set out on a family vacation with their parents, the trip ends before it begins. Mother Nature interferes with their plans, setting off a sequence of events that thrusts the teens into a hostile landscape. Stranded, with limited supplies, struggling to figure out who they can trust along the way, they must determine how to survive Nature's evolving fury.
349 pages ISBN: 9781949193985 Young adult


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Also Called
- Alien Hunter/Killer
- Extraterrestrial Slayer/Hunter/Killer
The user can kill an alien of any kind, being able to take on even the strongest of aliens there may be, and gain resistance to their powers and traits. No matter what kind of alien the user fights, the user can handle slaying them.
- Alien Power Immunity
- Alien Intuition
- Alien Power Negation
- Death Inducement; to aliens
- Enhanced/Supernatural Combat
- Alien Manipulation
- Alien Physiology
- Alien Weaponry
- Alien Weaponry Intuition
- Omnislayer
- Supernatural Hunter Physiology
- Supernatural Weapon Proficiency
- True Hero
- Unavertable Death
- Transcendent Aliens may be difficult to slay.
Known Users
- Kagetane Hiruko (Black Bullet)
- Kohina Hiruko (Black Bullet); via Short Swords
- Rentaro Satomi (Black Bullet)
- Shougen Ikuma (Black Bullet); via Buster Sword
- Last Line (DC Comics); via Radiation Weaponry
- Lex Luthor (DC Comics); via Radiation Weaponry
- Metallo (DC Comics)
- Project 7734 (DC Comics)
- Squad K (DC Comics)
- Reactron (DC Comics)
- Robert DuBois/Bloodsport (DC Comics); via Radiation Weaponry
- Garde Pilots (Knights of Sidonia)
- Special Tactics Group 41-Delta (Star Wars: The Old Republic)
- Haemonculi (Warhammer 40,000); via Hexrifle
- Ordo Xenos (Warhammer 40,000)
- The Ultra Garrison (UltraSeven)
- Agent 340/Dan Moroboshi/UltraSeven
Known Items
- Varanium weaponry (Black Bullet)
- Kryptonite weapons (DC Comics)
- Lex Luthor's Warsuit (DC Comics)
- Radion weapons (DC Comics)
- Anti-Guana Missiles (Knights of Sidonia)
- Artificial Kabi Weapons (Knights of Sidonia)
- Gatling Gun (Knights of Sidonia)
- Heigus Particle Cannon (Knights of Sidonia)
- Kabizashi (Knights of Sidonia)
- Xenotoxic flechette (Star Wars: The Old Republic)
- Xenotoxic torpedo (Star Wars: The Old Republic)
- Anti-Replicator gun (Stargate)
- Kull disruptor (Stargate)
- Replicator disruptor (Stargate)
- Sangraal (Stargate)
- Xenos Attuned Force Sword (Warhammer 40,000)
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.


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Community Report 2019
Families in BC. Are we doing everything we can to keep them together?
Our 2019 community report shows that parents in BC need community-led supports to prevent losing custody of their children or to reunite families.
Central City Foundation conducted in-depth interviews in 2019 with 24 leaders of community service organizations in the inner city. The resulting community report details some of the long-term implications of removing kids from their families, and discusses how our child welfare system isn't helping families. Learn how community-led solutions, like some run by non profit organizations (our community partners), are making a difference and can lead the way to help us understand how to work with communities to create lasting solutions.
Our 2019 community report shows that many parents in BC, especially in the inner city, are losing custody of their children when staying together would be possible if more community supports were available.
Learn more about the long-term implications of separating children from their parents and how our child welfare system is failing families. Read about how poverty, the lack of affordable housing and lack of options for childcare are often seen by the system as neglect, and how colonization has created inter-generational trauma that continues to affect families. Learn how community-led solutions can lead the way to help us understand how to create lasting solutions.
Our child welfare system isn't helping families
"In our current system, extreme poverty is often translated into neglect of the children or a safety issue, when really, the underlying reason is poverty. When they show up to us, it's called child protection or neglect, but really it's poverty." – Karen Dickenson-Smith, Family Services of Greater Vancouver
Download our full community report now


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I want to ride my (future) bicycle!
June 27, 2010 § Leave a comment
I really wanted to buy a bicycle this weekend, but it was just so hot and muggy that I couldn't imagine going into the city, let alone riding/walking the bike home from SoHo, over the Williamsburg Bridge. I will get that bike though! Until then, I'll be keeping an eye out for cool helmets and perhaps even a basket, like the accessories pictured above from The Bicycle Muse.
I'm planning on going to K-Mart to buy a $150 mountain bike so as to avoid it being stolen and if it is stolen, I don't get too bummed. Do you New Yorkers (or better yet – Brooklyners) have any advice on other places to shop or am I on the right track?


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My mom is an Irish lady in her eighties who weighs 90 pounds wet and has more energy and spunk than most people I know … and she is as sharp as a tack! You can probably tell I am proud of her!
With my Irish heritage I inherited a love of Irish toasts, sayings and the outlook on life that these portray. I thought I would share a few, to brighten up your day!
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead.
May you get all your wishes but one,so that you will always have something to strive for!
May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.
And one I have heard many times from relatives …
May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. And rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
And here is a wish for the future from me to you …
As you slide down the banisters of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.
I think it is the irreverence that I like the most, but also the joy of life that comes through loud and clear! I can relate to all of these … and there a tons more! Hope these gave you a chuckle … but also made you think a little!


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Full Color Digital Direct
Imprint Price includes one side, two side imprint or full wrap
Changes color with ice cold liquids
Flip Top Cap
Wide mouth opening
Hand wash only
BPA Free
|Colors :
|green to blue , blue to purple , pink to purple , yellow to green , frosted to red , frosted to green , frosted to orange , frosted to blue
|Assorted Colors Are Available :
|You may select any of the 8 colors offered or choose the following: "Colored Assortment" to receive Yellow to Green, Blue to Purple, Pink to Purple & Green to Blue. "Frosted Assortment" to receive Frosted to Blue, Frosted to Red, Frosted to Green & Frosted to Orange. Order must specify "Colored" or "Frosted" assortment to receive
|Cap Colors :
|White , Red , Black , Blue , Translucent Pink , Translucent Red , Translucent Orange , Translucent Green , Translucent Blue , Translucent Purple
|Pricing Includes :
|Full color printing using four-color process colors (cyan, magenta, yellow and black) on one side, 2 sides or full wrap. Images and type should be in CMYK. Additional art charges will apply to convert colors. Exact PMS matches are not possible. Neons and metallics are not available. Flip Top caps are shipped unassembled. Please be sure to specify bottle color and cap color when ordering.
|Setup Charge :
|Add $45.00 (G) for new orders. No initial Setup Charge on exact reorders.
|Imprint Area :
|1 side: 3" W x 3" H Wrap: 9" W x 3-3/16" H
|Multi-location Imprint :
|Imprint Colors :
|Full Color Digital printing using four-color process colors (CMYK). On colored products, there may be a slight variation in the imprint.
|Multi-Color Imprint :
|Full color digital printing included in price
|Copy Change :
|$35.00 (G) per change. Must be at least 1/2 of the lowest quantity offered.
|Additional Artwork :
|The first 1/2 hour is FREE! Additional time will be charged $35.00 (G) per hour
|Less Than Minimum :
|Not available.
|Proof :
|E-Proof $10.00 (G) each, Fax Proof $12.50 (G) each, Product Proof $40.00 (G) each (suggested when color matching is critical). Artwork charges are additional if required.
|Production Time :
|Standard production time is 7-10 working days.
|Fob :
|Packaging :
|Standard Packaging is 100 per box. Caps are shipped unassembled in same box.
|Shipping Weight :
|Boxes are subject to "Oversize" and "Dimensional Weight" charges.
|Cap Assembly :
|Cap assembly additional charge, add $0.25(G) each.
|Please Note :
|Please Note: "Frosted" cups will have a slight color tint and are not a pure frosted color.
|BPA Free :
|All AAkron Drinkware items are BPA FREE. For BPA FREE stickers placed on the bottom of drinkware items, add $0.12 (G) per piece.
|Variable Data :
|Add $ .05(G) per item, per location.
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After snubbing the Maharashtra government and saying that it is better for a woman to dance rather than to beg on streets, the Supreme Court today directed the state government to issue license to dance bars.
According to ANI, the apex court has given directives to the government to issue license to eight bars within two days.
The next hearing has been scheduled to take place on Friday. On account of non-compliance of some conditions, the apex court had last month said it is better for women to perform than begging on streets or doing something 'unacceptable' to earn a livelihood.
The bench has acknowledged the plea of Additional Solicitor General Pinky Anand, appearing for Maharashtra, that the state has to ensure that there is no "obscenity" in dance bars and the modesty of women is protected there.
The court has also asked dance bars to adhere to conditions such as installation of railings to demarcate the performance area from the place where the audience can sit and watch.
-With inputs from ANI


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You may see that old wreck in your yard like a piece of junk but to us it has value. With our years of experience in this industry, we can flip it into scrap for us and cash for you. If this sounds like a great idea to you, contact us at Motion Salvage to book your inspection appointment. We service the entire North West area including Rochdale. Call us at 0161 728 5010.
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Source: BBC
The US government cannot force Microsoft to give authorities access to the firm's servers located in other countries, a court has ruled.
The decision is being seen as a precedent for protecting the privacy of cloud computing services.
The US Department of Justice had wanted to access a server in Ireland, as part of an investigation into a drugs case.
The ruling, made by an appeals court, overturns an order granted by a court in Manhattan in 2014.
The DoJ said it was disappointed by the decision and was considering what it would do next. If it appeals, the case could then move to the US Supreme Court.
Microsoft said it welcomed the ruling.
"It makes clear that the US government can no longer seek to use its search warrants on a unilateral basis to reach into other countries and obtain the emails that belong to people of other nationalities," Brad Smith, president and chief legal officer, of Microsoft told the BBC.
"It tells people they can indeed trust technology as they move their information to the cloud," he said.
Microsoft thanked the companies that had backed its appeal, which included the likes of Amazon, Apple and Cisco.
No bullying
Another of Microsoft's backers was the Open Rights Group, a UK-based organisation that campaigns for digital rights.
"The US Court's decision has upheld the right to individual privacy in the face of the US State's intrusion into personal liberty," the group's legal director Myles Jackman said on Thursday.
"As a consequence, US law enforcement agencies must respect European citizens' digital privacy rights and the protection of their personal data.
Categories: America, Technology, The Muslim Times, USA


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Photo: Ryan Moriarty; Styling: Callie Blount
A classic cocktail made with vodka and ginger beer. A Moscow Mule is traditionally served in a copper mug, but you can also enjoy it in a highball glass filled with ice.
How to Make It
Add ginger beer, vodka, and lime to a Moscow Mule mug or a highball glass filled with ice. Stir. Garnish with a lime slice.


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Ranchi, Dec 5 (IANS) The age of the candidates trying their electoral luck in the ongoing five-phase Assembly polls in Jharkhand has "increased unusually by 1 to 13 years" in the last five years.
Going by the candidates' declaration of their age, it implies they have grown older by 1 to 13 years between the 2014 and 2019 polls.
For instance, Jharkhand Agriculture Minister Randhir Singh's age increased by 13 years in the last five years. In 2014, he was 32 but in 2019, the Minister declared that he is 45 years old.
Congress candidate Mannan Mallik's age was 69 in 2014 but in 2019, he is 76.
Jharkhand Vikas Morcha-Prajatantrik candidate Saba Ahmad's age increased by only one year in the last five years. He was 70 years old in 2014 and in 2019 his age is just 71!
"My voter ID card has been made in Giridih and I have mentioned my age as per the voter ID card. What my age was in 2014 polls… is a matter of the past," Saba Ahmad told reporters.
Jharkhand Mukti Morcha candidate Sita Soren, the daughter-in-law of party president Shibu Soren, was 40 years old in 2014 but in 2019, she is just 44.
And just like Sita Soren, the age of Bharatiya Janata Party legislator Raj Sinha and All Jharkhand Students Union candidate Uma Shankar Razak also increased only four years in the last five years.
The election in the eastern state began on November 30. The polling for the remaining four phases is scheduled to be held on December 7, December 12, December 16 and December 20.
The votes would be counted on December 23.


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I've written before about complex systems and how messing with them tends to bite one in the butt. So I guess it should come as no surprise that I would experience this first hand.
We are fortunate to have an office that looks out on a nice high desert landscape that is frequented by deer and rabbits. There are also some pretty neat birds here – quail, woodpeckers, jays, and the like, but we had the unfortunate luck of getting some crappy birdseed that seems to only attract doves. Which, while nice enough, are rather boring. (Note to birders: Stay away from birdseed that consists almost entirely of cracked corn – t'aint worth a damn).
Thus, a few days ago I splurged on some"woodpecker seed". While more expensive, it contains lots of nuts and sunflower seeds, which a) doves don't like and b) other, cooler, birds do. It is far more substantial than the usual bird fair, and seems to be doing a great job of attracting jays, finches, grossbeaks, and hopefully some flickers in the near future. As it turns out, it also attracts a lot of the little four-footed critters in the area – we've been getting a lot more squirrels and chipmunks hanging around, which I'm down with; they're pretty cute after all.
Now around the time I switched the feed, Roni developed the habit of running to the back door late in the evening and barking like the little idiot she sometimes is. This kind of odd behavior is not unusual for her – she can be a bit of a freak at times – but she hadn't done it in a while and this has been going on for the last several nights.
Had I been smart I might have connected the two, the new bird seed and Roni's spaz-attacks. But I wasn't. Instead, last night, I decided to open the back door to get a nice breeze going through the house. And while I was fixing a little pre-midnight snack, Roni dashed out the back door and I soon heard rustling and snuffling noises as she and… something … tromped around in the bushes. A rather unpleasant odor soon followed.
So I dutifully holler at Roni and flick on the porch lights to discover a tiny baby skunk – this thing couldn't have been more than a foot long from nose tip to tail – standing it's ground against our ferocious pit-bull mix. To Roni's credit she quickly came over and let me inspect her to find that, miracle of miracles, she hadn't been sprayed(!) Thinking the worst was over I told Roni to go inside, and grabbed my camera so I could snap off a couple pictures.
It is at this point that mere ignorance devlolves into genuine stupidity. I foolishly expected Roni to behave as I went back outside, and so left the back door open. Which is how I came to be standing there snapping away with the camera when Roni came out and, in one swift motion jumped up behind this little mini Pepe Le Pew, in a perfect position to get a face full of skunk juice.
Pepe was more than happy to oblige.
Thus… Trying to attract woodpeckers inadvertanly leads to attracting baby skunk. Baby skunk results in skunky dog, which in turn leaves skunky dog owner no choice but to take a late night shower with said dog to get the smell off them both while, once again, contemplating the beautiful interconnectedness of our universe.


text: Yep, she gave up the 1st 15"er of the year for me. Started at what's been the honey hole, today dried-up, then the wind kicked in for a little over a hour, so went to the next hole, basically the same thing, 1 fish, was about to tuck my tail & call it a morning as many did when the wind hit, but fortune would have it that it got as calm as the morning started, slight ripple.......well that's when the hammer dropped 50 fish in 3 passes, a lot of throw backs, but certainly rejuvenated my position on how much "pressure" has affected the lake. Don't throw in the towels just yet.....Also wanted to pass along Cameron Wright launch on Rt. 46 now open.....Maybe just Maybe Jessup will be a sleeper this year


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Wooden Backgammon
Product Description
A beautiful wooden set of the classic game of skill and strategy. Move your counters from one side of the board to the other to beat your opponent. A game for two players.
Box measures: 31 x 16 x 5.5cm
Recommended for ages 8 years +.
Warning: Not suitable for children under 3 years of age as small parts may present a choking hazard.
Home Delivery
UK mainland delivery from £3.95
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Sunwarrior Warrior Blend Plant-Based Vanilla Dietary Supplement Protein Powder
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Thursday, June 16, 2011
Mr. Hanton's
Today I opted to venture out to the 5th & Race food truck area to pick up a burger from Cafe de Wheels. Parked next to The Burger Truck was a food truck I had never seen before. The food truck craze is relatively new to Cincinnati so there are new trucks popping up frequently. This truck is named Mr. Hanton's and they specialize in a wide variety of sandwiches and hot dogs, including Cincinnati style cheese coneys. Mr. Hanton's will now be added to the quest and joins Mr Gene's Dog House Weenies on Wheels as the 2nd food truck on the quest.
I chatted with the owner for a minute and he informed me they can be found at 5th and Race on Thursdays & Fridays and are at Party at the Park on Wednesdays. Judging by their twitter feed (@MrHantons) they are occasionally in Mt Adams late night.
We both like a lot of the food trucks that have opened in the past year and look forward to trying Mr. Hanton's.
Posted by Clint at 12:26 PM
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Filters for Prizes
- 25 - 50 out of 213 results
- Export search results
Australia Council for the Arts Literature Section Residency in the BR Whiting Studio in Rome (awarded)
Hetherington, Paul (Recipient), 2014
Prize: Other distinction
Australian College of Critical Care Nursing (NSW)
Lori DELANEY (Recipient), 2014
Prize: Other distinction
Australian Literacy Educators' Association Doctoral Thesis Award
Tessa DAFFERN (Recipient), 8 Jul 2017
Prize: Honorary award
Australian Research Council Discovery Outstanding Researcher
Ralph MAC NALLY (Recipient), 2012
Prize: Other distinction
Australian Synchrotron Lifetime Contribution Award 2018
Creagh, Dudley (Recipient), 28 Nov 2018
Prize: Honorary award
Awarded First Prize for the Best Research Poster Presentation
Paterson, Catherine (Recipient), Mar 2015
Award for best paper in conference stream 'Students' at TEQSA 2017
Gesa RUGE (Recipient) & Coralie MCCORMACK (Recipient), 30 Nov 2017
Best Allied Health Oral Presentation
Bissett, Bernie (Recipient), 2 Aug 2018
Prize: Honorary award
Best Allied Health Oral Presentation, Canberra Health Annual Research Meeting
Bissett, Bernie (Recipient), Aug 2014
Best Allied Health Oral Presentation, Canberra Health Annual Research Meeting
Bissett, Bernie (Recipient), Aug 2016
Best Clinical Oral Presentation, Canberra Health Annual Research Meeting
Bissett, Bernie (Recipient), Aug 2011
Best Doctoral Thesis Award – Gold Medal, World Business Institute.
Foley, Dennis (Recipient), 2006
Best Empirical Chapter in an Australian or New Zealand Science Book
Kelty, Sally (Recipient), 2015
Best paper - APA, ACT Branch Research Symposium, Sept. 2012, Canberra, Australia.
Fearon, Angie (Recipient), Sep 2012
Best paper award, 6th International Conference on Information Technology for Business Transformation 2019
Mohammadian, Masoud (Recipient), 9 Nov 2019
Prize: Other distinction
Best research paper (Sleep problems and its relation with autism severity, problematic behaviour and parental distress in children with low functioning autism )
Jojo, Natasha (Recipient) & Jojo Joseph (Recipient), Aug 2017


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Key Expertise
Ingrid has over 20 years of experience in national and international marketing in B2B environment. She has expertise in business development, go-to-market strategies, channel management, e-commerce & digital marketing, project & change management, people management. She also has a good knowledge of IT and IT systems.
Master in Applied Economics.
Projects delivered
Assignments in International Marketing, Go-to-market strategies, Channel Marketing, e-Commerce in Technology industries and Services – both SME as enterprise environment.


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Gwangju Mayor Lee Yong-sup has claimed that everything has been done to guarantee the best possible experience at the 2019 International Swimming Federation (FINA) World Championships in the South Korean city.
Lee, actively involved in the organisation of the event, made the claim when welcoming the FINA Bureau, which met today ahead of the World Championships.
He wished the FINA family a "pleasant stay" in South Korea and underlined the organisers' wish to provide "one of the best editions of the Championships in FINA's history".
The slogan for the 2019 FINA World Championships is "Dive into Peace", reflecting Gwangju's hope for promoting peace on the Korean Peninsula and the participation of North Korea.
As reported by Korean news agency Yonhap, Lee made a last-ditch plea for North Korea's participation.
He called on North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to "make a historic decision" to allow his athletes to cross the border.
Though the official registration at FINA was closed last Wednesday (July 3), the world governing body agreed that a North Korean squad can apply for participation just before the official opening on Friday (July 12).
"Using several channels, we've repeatedly asked North Korea to participate," Lee was reported as saying by Yonhap.
"It's quite regrettable that we haven't heard anything from them."
The FINA Bureau meeting opened by observing a minute of silence in memory of FINA vice-president Dennis Miller, who passed away on June 1.
Highlights of the discussions included acknowledgement of the elections held by the Oceania Swimming Association, proposing Australia's Matthew Dunn as vice-president from the continent and Cook Islands' Romani Katoa as a new FINA Bureau member.
These nominations need to be approved by the FINA General Congress, scheduled for July 19.
There was also the presentation and approval of the FINA Audit Committee recommendation concerning the compliance of the body's financial statements for 2018, prior to further validation by the General Congress.
Another highlight was the implementation of a FINA Electoral Commission, which will oversee and take final decisions on the procedures for the election of Presidents, vice-presidents and Bureau members, in full compliance with FINA's Constitution and regulations.
The FINA Bureau will nominate the independent members of the Electoral Commission;
Furthermore, the FINA Bureau adopted new by-laws concerning "regulations for elections".
A number of FINA events for 2020 were also awarded, including the World Junior Artistic Swimming Championships to Quebec City, the World Junior Diving Championships to Kiev, the Marathon Swimming Olympic Games Qualifier to Fukuoka in Japan, and the Men's and Women's Water Polo Qualification Tournaments to Rotterdam and a yet-to-be-confirmed Italian city respectively.
Israeli city Netanya was given the World Women's Youth Water Polo Championships, while the World Men's Youth Water Polo Championships went to Istanbul and the World Water Polo Age Group Championships to Volos in Greece.
Additionally, a detailed report on the 2021 FINA World Championships in Fukuoka was presented and included items such as venues, accommodation, transportation, mascots and Organising Committee structure.
The 2019 FINA World Championships are due to run through to July 28, with 2,563 athletes - plus two additional competitors in the refugee team - from a record 194 nations set to compete across the six aquatic disciplines.