Procrastination is Not Laziness - <AUTHOR> http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/procrastination-is-not-laziness/ <comment><USER3> I've read some blog posts about procrastination, but this one I think really hits the mark. Good read!

"You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything."

First paragraph in the text that stuck me so deeply. And it's not like I fear criticism (<https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5361495>), but my urge for perfection is killing my performance and this in fact is indeed literally killing me.

<comment><USER4> I associate my performance in everything with my own value as a person, to an absurd extent. If I'm playing a multiplayer game such as Starcraft or Street Fighter and I make a mistake, I can't help but think "Wow, I'm really stupid". It's silly, but I can't help it. You can imagine how I feel in regards to things that _actually_ matter.

</comment></comment><comment><USER5> Interesting theory but I'm not sure it's the whole picture.

Personally, while I _definitely_ identify with the "fear of failure" personality trait, I find my procrastination is down to two things: depleted willpower and inertia.

To help with willpower, I try to keep my home environment as tidy and organized as possible (which doesn't come naturally). There's not too much I can do about my dayjob other than minimize my emotional investment (which also doesn't come naturally).

I find inertia is the most important and possible variable to change. A yoga teacher told me once: "it's not so hard. Just start... then continue". Once I actually push past the hurdle of starting a project, and make sure I put some time into it weekly (even if it's only 30 minutes), over time my mental resistance aka procrastination diminishes, and I start to enjoy myself.

Start... then continue.

<comment><USER6> Yes, some people may procrastinate due to fear of failure, but it seems clear that it's not universal. I know I'm not procrastinating on filing my taxes right now because I fear failure somehow. There's not much failure to be had, and I'm comfortable with the process and have a great accountant who helps me through it. I just don't feel like doing it right now, because the process _itself_ is painful. I'd rather have silly conversations on the internet than dig through paperwork. It seems to simply be a matter of valuing immediate rewards more highly than distant ones. And this applies almost everywhere. The immediate reward of eating a donut can be far more prominent than the delayed reward of eating healthy. The immediate reward of spending money on dinner delivery outweighs the delayed reward of saving money. This seems to me a far more fundamental and interesting problem than fear of failure.

<comment><USER7> This is an interesting point, but I think it's important to take 'fear of failure' the right way, which is not [always] literally a fear of failing at task X; but instead as a trained predisposition to not attempt things. In the same way that a basketball player can habitually and automatically pull up for a jump shot every time he drives left; or a person can open the refrigerator every time he comes home and throws his keys on the counter, so one can habitually and automatically defer doing things because the consequences of poor performance have burned that delaying tactic into one's behavior.

Or so the theory goes -- as someone said up-thread, Piers Steel did an extremely thorough meta-analysis on the topic (gated article here, [http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886900...](http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886900000131); he eventually turned this paper into a book) that denies this perfectionistic explanation and instead breaks the issue down in terms of utility theory and temporal discounting.

Which is fine; but I'm not convinced that the two may not be describing the same phenomenon from different levels of abstraction, in the same way that you can describe bird flocking behavior at the level of Newtonian mechanics, but describe it a lot more succinctly and meaningfully using Craig Reynolds's Boid model.

</comment></comment></comment><comment><USER8> From the blog post: "Almost every Sunday night I mourn another blown opportunity to catch up"

The author may also want to consider removing the notion of "caught up" from his vocabulary. Although it's not covered in the Now Habit, it's discussed in other respected books on procrastination and time management.

I used to beat myself up a lot with the idea that there was a (poorly defined) state of having gotten "caught up" on life tasks like those the author describes at which point all would be well.

The problem is that it doesn't really exist - there's always more to do than you can actually do - and denying that fact keeps you from living in the present. There are simply activities you choose to do and activities you choose not to do - that's it.

While it may sound absurdly simplistic, this one change in thinking had a huge impact on both my personal productivity and happiness.

FWIW, YMMV, etc.

<comment><USER9> I'd like to give this a try. Any tips for removing that feeling?

<comment><USER8> Writing this quickly because I'm about to run out the door, so please excuse the incomplete answer.

In brief, aside from simply recognizing it intellectually (which alone helped me a lot,) I'd start by literally following the advice I wrote above and remove the phrase from your vocabulary. i.e. Don't say things like "I really have to get caught up this weekend." It's a hopelessly imprecise statement that, if you're like me, primarily just engenders stress and shame. Instead use active language re: precise tasks. e.g. "I'm going to fix my bike and go to the store this afternoon."

Fiore does talk a lot about similar language issues in the Now Habit. For example, he stresses the importance of saying things like "I _choose_ to work on this report now" versus "I have to work on this report now."

His argument is that the latter promotes a victimhood mentality leading to resentment and then procrastination.

He also points out that it's simply untrue. If you're going to be precise, there's very little you _have_ to do - there are simply things you choose to do because either you enjoy them, or because you prefer the consequences of having done them versus not having done them.

Hope that helps!

<comment><USER9> That's a good way of putting it, thanks.

"I'm going to clear my inbox vs. I'm going to get caught up on my email"

</comment></comment></comment></comment><comment><USER10> I have a very different take than this author, and apparently many of the people in this thread.

I absolutely love to procrastinate and it's very important to me. Actually I am procrastinating by writing this comment right now. Allow me to explain:

When I program, or do math, it's very important to me to have a clear head; and I take procrastinating very seriously because I know if I don't do certain things then I will have a hard time concentrating when I sit down to work, and that will prevent me from going into "the zone", or achieving what some people call "flow".

There is such a huge difference between not only the amount of work I get down, but the quality of that work, when I am in the zone as opposed to when I am not; and procrastinating is sort of a ritual for me. I have to have a clean room, I have to have my desk nice and tidy, I have to have a glass of water, or a cup of coffee, in the same place on my desk that it always goes, I need to open my notebook to review my notes from the day before, and so on. Maybe I'm slightly OCD, but I do these things on purpose as part of a ritual to get into the zone.

If I have an urge to check HN, I log in and do it. Otherwise when I start working I have an awful nagging thought that won't go away saying "hey you know, there is probably something awesome on HN!" and the fact is I need that extra space in my brain to load up all the details of the code I am working on.

Then I load up my music playlist, put on my headphones, fire up my code editor, and the next thing I know it's 4 hours later and my stomach is growling because I have completely lost track of time. Guess what? Time to procrastinate again, otherwise productivity starts trailing off, and the quality of the work suffers.

Sometimes I keep coding anyway, but then I come back the next day and say to myself, "Jesus, what was I thinking when I wrote this crap! I wish I hadn't closed Eclipse before I went to bed, because now I can't ctrl-z out of this mess!" So it's actually a bad idea for me to keep programming when I start getting distracted by random things because then I have to waste a bunch of time the next time I sit down, just undoing a bunch of crap.

I love procrastinating, and I don't consider it a form of laziness at all, but just for a different reason.

<comment><USER11> IMO, that's not procrastination. That's just guilt-free play. The key is that you are still getting things done that you need/want to do. You're just aware of when you need a break and are comfortable letting yourself do so. That's not the procrastination that the OP is talking about...

<comment><USER10> You have a very valid point, and even though I call it procrastinating it's not the same. However, I am all too familiar with the procrastinating of the type described by the OP, as I have experienced it myself quite severely.

I suppose the reason I made my comment is one day I realized that it was actually a positive thing to "procrastinate" for a non-trivial amount of time before I even start working; as long as I actually do start before it gets out of control.

I suppose it was also helpful for me to get rid of the psychological baggage of feeling guilty about "procrastinating", and I wanted to give a word of caution about not over-compensating by going to an extreme of never taking a break, or taking too short of a break, because of feeling guilty or afraid of not being able to start working again if you do.

<comment><USER12> I do this and call it "constructive procrastination". I quite often wash the dishes because I'm putting off writing some code, for example.

In your specific case I think it's even healthier. I can't work well or think straight if my environment is cluttered, it feels like it's cluttering my head as well. Identifying things in your environment that affect your performance and taking control over them is KEY to productivity and happiness.

</comment></comment></comment></comment><comment><USER13> Let me second the OP and recommend Neil Fiore's book "The Now Habit".

There are lots of good strategies in that book, such as:

The Unschedule

      * a weekly calendar of committed recreational activities and breaks, meals, etc
      * productive periods of work are recorded after they are accomplished
      * encourages starting earlier on projects once you see
        how much time is already committed
      * 30 minute chunks of productive work - too small to be intimidating

Leverage Reverse psychology:

      * do not work more than 20 hours a week on this project
      * do not work more than 5 hours a day on this project
      * you must play or exercise at least one hour per day
      * you must take at least one day a week off from any work
      * do only 30 minute chunks without reward / break
      * work for an imperfect, human, first effort
      * start small

Builds up an unconscious desire to work more and play less

Schedule only:

      * previously committed time - meals, sleep, meetings
      * free time, recreation, leisure reading
      * socializing
      * exercise
      * routine events - commuting, classes, appointments
      * Fill in periods of productive work only after completing
        a 30-minute chunk
      * take credit only for 30 minutes of uninterrupted work
      * reward each chunk with a break or a change to a more enjoyable task
      * track the number of productive hours by day and week.
      * always have at least one full day of recreation or enjoyable tasks
      * before recreation, take time for one 30-minute chunk of project work
      * focus on starting
      * think small
      * keep starting, finishing will take care of itself
      * never stop when you are blocked or at the end of a section;
        push through a block or start a new section before stopping

Benefits:

      * realistic timekeeping
      * avoid feeling overwhelmed
      * allows you to experience success
      * deadlines are self-imposed
      * new-found free time

I also recommend another book (by another psychologist): "The Procrastination Equation" by Piers Steel.

The second book is partly at odds with the first, so I leave it to you to see which better describes what you observe.

Summary of The Procrastination Equation:

Perfectionism does not lead to procrastination - this is well studied. It may be that they are thought to be linked because of the cases where there is this discrepancy in behavior. Procrastination is a result of impulsiveness. Self- control and delaying gratification are key to controlling procrastination.

Procrastinators suffer from

      * weak impulse control
      * lack of persistence
      * lack of work discipline
      * lack of time management skill
      * inability to work methodically

Motivation can be modeled by

      * (expectancy * value) / (impulsiveness * delay)
      * The numerator is Expected Utility Theory in economics
      * Expectancy is the perceived likelihood of reward or success
      * Value is the perceived value of the reward
      * Delay is the perceived delay in receiving the reward
      * Impulsiveness is the tendency to (irrationally) pursue immediate reward instead

Expectancy - optimism, expectation of success

      * too much pessimism causes procrastination -
        low expectation of success keeps us from starting
      * too much optimism causes procrastination -
        unrealistic ease of success causes delay of starting until the last moment

techniques for improving optimism:

      * success spirals - progressive series of successes build
        confidence (e.g. earning scout badges). regularly
        stretching your limits is important to teach yourself
        confidence in your ability to tackle something difficult
      * vicarious victory - relating to someone's success story,
        finding inspiration in books, movies, inspirational speakers,
        joining a group of inspirational people
      * wish fulfillment - visualization of success and contrasting with
        where you are now. Visualization that only focuses on the goal may
        drain motivation to complete the necessary steps.
        As you visualize attaining the goal and then contrasting the current
        situation, maintain your optimism so that you can translate this
        visualization into a plan of action.
      * Plan for the worst, hope for the best - develop strategies to recover
        from falling back into old habits. Anticipate temptations and find ways
        to counter them.

<comment><USER14> Thank you for this. It's easy to think you'll have something similar in your head, but actually seeing it makes it harder to ignore.

My procastination is usually due to a stupid case of OCD. I say it's stupid, because I can see how blatantly counter-productive it is... and yet, it's still there.

I keep my OCD down to "mild" levels by purposely flinging my socks as soon as I come home. This, in a way, breaks the cycle of "can't get down to do this because everything isn't perfectly clean". Ordinarily, _something_ becomes a source of discontent that keeps me from getting things done and the best way (that works for me, YMMV) is a hot shower after a bit of excercise, LOTS of coffee followed by soothing music. "Soothing" in my context is usually Testament or Slayer, but you get the idea.

I also make it harder on myself to get distracted by turning off the ringer on my phone or taking out the battery to make Twitter et al. harder to get to (I don't remember my Twitter password, so I'd have to go into my "mega-list-of- all-passwords" text file which is PGP encrypted).

<comment><USER15> So I've found that exactly one thing helps me focus on work -- boredom. I am definitely not OCD, but I still find that I can't just work on something at any time for any length of time. I have to be in the right mood.

I'd also add that procrastination and perfectionism is something I've seen a lot of, and which has always struck me as particularly insidious. I managed to finish my PhD by 26, but the reason is because I was comfortable with turning it in imperfect (and expected to do so from 24 on, after initial grad student optimism was burned out of me). I've had friends who spent years on a thesis past when it was done by any sane definition of the word just because they wanted it to be perfect. And since "perfect" was unattainable they spent all their time playing video games instead.

Last, I have spent over a decade carefully cultivating a mentality of not attaching myself to the outcomes of my projects but instead focus on enjoying the process. If I don't enjoy the process, the product is sort of irrelevant (at least for long periods). If I do enjoy the process, the product _will_ be the best I can do. I'm currently running two startups, working part time at a third, teach karate, and am at least nominally pursuing romantic and social relationships. I often find myself using the mantra "it will turn out how it turns out" to help myself sleep on anxiety ridden nights. I also more formally say "I release <foo>" when I find that I am dwelling on something in meditation and visualize myself no longer being emotionally attached to that thing. Particularly helpful for tentative romantic relationships. Worry there seems to be cause inevitable failure.

Dunno if that helps anyone, but it helped me a ton.

<comment><USER16> _I've had friends (...) wanted it to be perfect. And since "perfect" was unattainable they spent all their time playing video games instead._

I feel naked in front of that statement. :(

</comment></comment></comment></comment><comment><USER17> "Once you lose track of the specific items that are causing you stress, you tend to regard it all as one big ugly entity that you want to avoid"

This. I vividly remember when some problems got completely out of hand and my life turned downhill, this is exactly what it felt like. On shitty days, I tell myself, 'well, at least it wasn't as bad as _that_ '

<comment><USER18> I had an epiphany today that the biggest solution to this problem and other feelings of "shittiness" is to just tackle it with nonjudgmental awareness, breaking the problem down and analyzing _exactly_ what parts of it are making me feel that way. It's then easier to reframe and put the smaller parts into perspective than it is to deal with one blob of stress, which is an illusion anyway.

<comment><USER19> You are not your thoughts. You are not your actions. Your are not your memories, your past, or your future or your abilities.

However, you are part of a process. You don't own the process and even you do everything perfectly things might not turn out right, but you can understand what happened and how to influence things for the better in the future.

It is rather freeing.

</comment></comment></comment><comment><USER20> One perspective that I've taken to recently is this:

Maybe life just isn't exactly what I want it to be.

In other words, maybe if I go around expecting to have fun all the time (or enjoy myself, or be stimulated, or do what I want, or however I think about it), I will be perpetually disappointed and confused.

I don't know but I speculate about the role of the ideology of consumer capitalism in all this. (No, really!)

It's not that I think life ought to be dull or boring, but it shouldn't be controversial to say that most of us have lingering expectations about life that are out of tune with reality.

Maybe it just comes down to being willing to endure doing things that feel boring and/or stupid compared to the other myriad fun things that are always available to us affluent people.

Some relevant quotes from David Foster Wallace:

"This is the great thing about it, is that probably each generation has different things that force the generation to grow up. Maybe for our grandparents it was World War Two. You know? For us, it's gonna be that at, at a certain point, that we're either gonna have to put away childish things and discipline ourself about how much time do I spend being passively entertained? And how much time do I spend doing stuff that actually isn't all that much fun minute by minute, but that builds certain muscles in me as a grown-up and a human being? And if we don't do that, then (a) as individuals, we're gonna die, and (b) the culture's gonna grind to a halt."

From fictional characters in his _The Pale King_ :

"True heroism is minutes, hours, weeks, year upon year of the quiet, precise, judicious exercise of probity and care—with no one there to see or cheer. This is the world."

"The truth is that the heroism of your childhood entertainments was not true valor. It was theatre. The grand gesture, the moment of choice, the mortal danger, the external foe, the climactic battle whose outcome resolves all--all designed to appear heroic, to excite and gratify and audience. Gentlemen, welcome to the world of reality--there is no audience. No one to applaud, to admire. No one to see you. Do you understand? Here is the truth--actual heroism receives no ovation, entertains no one. No one queues up to see it. No one is interested."

<comment><USER21> thank you for the literary backup. They help us reptiles more than we think!

</comment></comment><comment><USER22> "Don't wait until you feel like doing something"

That's the one sentence solution described by Oliver Burkeman that has remained in my Pinboard.

[http://www.oliverburkeman.com/blog/posts/the-one-sentence- so...](http://www.oliverburkeman.com/blog/posts/the-one-sentence-solution-to- almost-all-procrastination-no-really)

This article describes procrastination as two demons you need to conquer: the first is doing the actual task, while the second is to get into a certain state of mind or mood that makes you want to do the task. By setting up two barriers to getting the task done, you're likely to procrastinate further.

The "just do it" mantra jettisons the "I need to feel like doing the task before I do the task" roadblock. What you'll find is that once you actually start working on your task, you're more likely to continue along merrily, wondering why you even resisted starting in the first place. This almost always works for me. Give it a shot.

</comment><comment><USER23> "You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything."

What's most cutting reading that paragraph is how true it is, and how much of my self-worth I feel diminished by admitting that.

I've got better recently, but that post really hit home.

</comment><comment><USER24> My biggest source of procrastination is the fear of making a change that can't be undone. I find this particularly challenging on projects around the house like putting in a new door, and having the door ready to be hung on and knowing if I screw up the hings placement I need to get a new door. Blam! I procrastinate the crap out of taking the irreversible step of routering in the hinge mounts. I have to sit down and give myself permission to buy a new door if I screw up, and even then it's painful to move forward.

I never really thought of it as a judgmental problem (self worth related) so much as a sort of efficiency problem (hate to have wasted all that resource (time, money, whatever)). One of the weird things about quitting World of Warcraft was that I played _hours_ on that game, so I could pretty much do anything and it would be less wasteful of my time than that. So for a while that was a great crutch, "We'll hey, I didn't get much done but if I had been playing WoW I wouldn't have gotten _anything_ done."

<comment><USER25> The fear of screwing it up, coupled with the knowledge that I really am not good at things like carpentry, and rounded out with a lack of funds to hire others, have played havoc on my ability to finish my basement or my back yard.

Ironically, I have managed to keep my washer and dryer going for 16 years. But that's all thanks to the Internet. :)

</comment></comment><comment><USER26> It's rather telling that many of the comments disputing the author's thesis about the root cause of procrastination read like the Top 10 Things Procrastinators Tell Themselves. Almost all of the alternative causes mentioned have nothing to do with _them_ , because that would mean admitting a flaw, but have to do with the situation, which of course is beyond their control and therefore not their fault.

Anyway, this article really hit home for me. I will definitely be picking up a copy of "The Now Habit".

<comment><USER27> I came here to make nearly that exact comment - but about the article rather than the comments. A friend who is a psychologist recommended these resources on the topic: [http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_I...](http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=50)

</comment></comment><comment><USER28> Here's a link to the "Experiment No. 11" he mentioned:

[http://www.raptitude.com/experiment-log-no-11-an-attack- on-p...](http://www.raptitude.com/experiment-log-no-11-an-attack-on- procrastination/)

<comment><USER29> Interesting that that's from 2011, whereas this post is 2013. A rehash/rebooted blog, perhaps?

<comment><USER30> Actually, this post is from 2011 as well: [http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not- lazi...](http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-laziness/)

</comment></comment></comment><comment><USER31> I think the article "How to Beat Procrastination" on Less Wrong [1] is quite possibly the best thing written on the subject of procrastination on the web in terms of both writing and research quality. It's based on the temporal motivational theory of procrastination, which is so far the one that best explains the experimental data we've got.

Scroll down the page a bit to see "the procrastination equation". Even though I had been exposed to concepts from the temporal motivational theory before I found the equation quite striking the first time I saw it.

[1] <http://lesswrong.com/lw/3w3/how_to_beat_procrastination/>

<comment><USER32> Thanks for this. The equation, for posterity:

> Motivation = (Expectancy x Value) / (Impulsiveness x Delay)

> Increase the size of a task's reward (including both the pleasantness of > doing the task and the value of its after-effects), and your motivation goes > up. Increase the perceived odds of getting the reward, and your motivation > also goes up.

> The denominator covers the effect of time on our motivation to do a task. > The longer the delay before we reap a task's reward, the less motivated we > are to do it. And the negative effect of this delay on our motivation is > amplified by our level of impulsiveness. For highly impulsive people, delays > do even greater damage to their motivation.

The rest of the article is worth reading. (It's short; 2/3 of the page is footnotes and comments.) Firstly for the examples that root the equation in reality. Secondly for suggestions on increasing the numerator and decreasing the denominator.

</comment></comment><comment><USER33> Has the OP ever considered that they may not actually like what they do for a living? They mention a few times in the post that one of the ways they procrastinate is to "try a new recipe" or "watch a documentary". For me, I procrastinate from _cooking_ by programming, because programming is much mor enjoyable to me. Heck, I even enjoy programming more than most recreational activities. Perhaps the OP should pursue the culinary arts, or become a documenteur, or an expert on the psychology of procrastination given how long and in-depth this post is. Seriously, it's a 2600 word article that I have no doubt the author wrote instead of doing something else they were "supposed to be doing". But should they really be doing it, or feeling guilty for not?

I say this because I spent 7 years in college bouncing from degree to degree, finally settling on physics of all things, not because I had a burning passion for physics but because my father had always held it in such high regard and had such high expectations for me. Every day was a struggle against procrastination. It's funny because I wrote countless self-addressed pieces like the OP's lamenting my battle with procrastination and what to do about it; I even kept track of the different strategies I'd employ, which all inevitably failed.

Turns out it wasn't that I was broken in some way and it wasn't a problem I could fix. I just didn't want professional physicist, and although I did graduate (thanks grade inflation!) I haven't so much as touched a Lorentz transformation or Feynman graph since. I wanted to build things, not discover things, and programming rubbed me in all the right ways. I now have the complete opposite problem the OP has; I work too much, am very productive, and it frankly it affects my liesure life. I haven't finished a video game in years.

I'll close with one last bit of wisdom I learned from my father. No matter what my Dad does for the day, whether it was ten important things or 1 seemingly trivial thing, he always focuses on the stuff he got done rather than dwell on the stuff that got neglected. Now I always make sure to do at least one thing I can look back on about which I can say confidently made the day worth it. It's easy to lose perspective. You don't have to be superman every day.

<comment><USER34> I think you are projecting onto the OP. In fact, I feel you are completely disregarding what the OP is trying to explain, by suggesting that the problem lies with him "not actually liking what he does for a living". I'll agree that if you are stuck doing or studying something that is uninspiring to you, that it could cause a lack of motivation, and in turn make you procrastinate. But that is a completely different beast all together.

At least, that is what I believe, based on the assumption that the OP and I are very similar in this regard. Everything he wrote rings true to me, and nothing is off. Yet, I never had the slightest problem in sticking to, and finalizing my degree, nor disliking my work or profession. In fact, the parts where I have found myself procrastinating the most, is when setting out to do my own pet projects, the ones I would LOVE to do. And why is that? The exact same reasons stated in the article, the fear of imperfection, of trying, coming short and experiencing it as a personal failure.

So, I disagree on the notion of "whatever you do when procrastinating, THAT'S what you should do for a living"-notion.

As for the last bit of wisdom you provided. Right on! Keeping a "Done-list" as opposed to just a "Todo-list" can be really useful!

</comment></comment><comment><USER35> This is perfectly timed for me, having spent the last two days procrastinating (yesterday, by staring at someone else's code but not really reading it and today by running errands). It feels like the opportunity to be brilliant can so easily slip away until my deadlines have passed and I'm out of time.

The last 2.5 months for me have been nothing but struggling to figure out something that I barely understand. Something that seems to come pretty easily to a number of people I associate with, so it's difficult to retain perspective. To wit, that they've been doing this stuff a lot longer than I have, and that at least I can get some of it (and will someday probably get more of it).

So this rings pretty true for me, as I had just gotten a thing I'd been working on for what seemed like forever to (mostly) function, now it has to be expanded to handle this other thing that I know pretty much nothing about. It seems like either there are far better people who could be doing this than me, or maybe my belief that if I keep smashing my forehead against the spec, it will gain entry to my brain.

So far, starting out on my own with the idea that I could make a product has been lonely and isolating. This work is damned hard. If I fail, I won't be in a bad place, but it's still overwhelming me. My respect for certain people who have the temerity to do this (and I think you all know who I mean) has grown considerably. But don't tell him I said that, because I still need him to take the garbage out from time to time.

<comment><USER36> She clearly means Paul Graham, who can come over and take the garbage out ANY TIME HE'S READY THANK YOU.

</comment></comment><comment><USER37> I read a book in 2006 called Mindset, by Carol Dweck, a Stanford Psychologist. I could see how having a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset might help in this case of life-long procrastination. Just a thought. I'm curious if others on HN have read the book and think it would be helpful. There is a website associated with the book that might also have some useful information: <http://mindsetonline.com/>

<comment><USER13> Agreed, this is another good book. I think it explains a lot about behaviors that have puzzled me over the years. I think it can be related to the set of beliefs behind motivation, which is a part of procrastination. It may not help someone with procrastination per se (that may be better addressed by books directly dealing with the psychology of procrastination) but it is part of the puzzle.

In particular it might help with motivation and perception of success/failure.

For those who haven't read it, Mindset sets out 2 main opposing beliefs:

      * your abilities are largely "fixed", mostly a function
        of innate "talent" that you can't change
      * vs. your ability is mostly due to learning,
        and you can always learn more

Dweck points out the problems associated with the former point of view, and how a shift in this thinking can transform your outlook on your entire life. I am surprised sometimes at how controversial this can be when you bring it up.

</comment></comment><comment><USER38> "As I mentioned, on Monday I will begin... [a] direct attack on my procrastination problem."

Does anyone else see the problem here?

<comment><USER39> The direct attack on procrastination... has been postponed until Monday. :)

I really liked the article, as I'm almost exactly like the way the op described himself. Hot proof: my tax returns were due 15 days ago and here I am, eagerly discussing the issue of procrastination. Much of the last two weeks was also spent watching the second leg of the Champions League football matches (ah, Barca, you recovered magnificently from a two goal deficit - <USER2> done!).

It's a really big problem.

There was another article recently on HN which I really liked [1]. I tried it. Yelling "You're an ANIMAL! You're an ANIMAL!" at myself as I perused my tax documentation. It hasn't worked yet and I've now scheduled another session. For Monday.

[1] [http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130313143038-54...](http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130313143038-5434591-best- advice-what-i-learned-from-a-sex-crazed-short-order-cook)

</comment></comment><comment><USER40> My impression is that procrastination may have multiple causes. Some of them are fleeing difficulties like overcoming procrastination which is a vicious circle.

My perception is also that the first cause of procrastination is fear of X, where X is most probably specific to you. Another term of the equation is that avoiding something that we fear, increases the fear of it. And this probably closes the loop.

I found out by experience that a way to get out of this loop is to inhibit any (negative) thinking about the task at hand and just focus on _doing_ the task. Then praise yourself when you achieve the task with "good _work_ Harry", something you probably didn't hear enough when you were young.

For example, when I'm about to write an essay or review it, I might think that I'm not a writer, or that I'll be ridiculed if anybody see this text because they will see I'm very bad and presumptuous to think I could write, etc. This thinking take place in milliseconds and generate a sting strong enough that when I see the text file I fell like an electrical shock keeping me away of even touching it. I took me time to understand that it was fear from my own imagination that kept me away of it. Every time I just focused on the task itself, clicking on the document, just read it for my self and see what I like and don't like for my self, inhibiting any thoughts on what I might do with the document, there was no procrastination.

This type of procrastination can be diagnosed if one is frustrated by not being able to achieve what we really want to do.

One can feel the same for a startup project where we live a frustrating paralysis in front of the project. This paralysis comes from all the fears generated by our imagination anticipating all what could go wrong. But this is like the Maserati problems where you imagine you could crash your Maserati. Just do it, make the MVP software for your own pleasure, focus on the creation of it, polishing of its interface and UX just for yourself. Inhibit any thoughts on the future which are the source of fear and paralysis.

Regarding procrastination in house and cloths cleaning and food making, I think it might also be as simple as fear if one has not learned and has been put in confidence to do it when he was young. It is bad parenting if kids are not familiarized to do it when young, thought it may seam the opposite at first look where parents take care of all the needs of their kids.

</comment><comment><USER41> I'm reaching out here because I really need some advice. This is a great thread, but I think it only semi-applies to me.

I am 24 years old, and I seriously struggle with motivation to do... just about anything. I have a midterm tomorrow in Dynamics (a mech engr course), and I have pretty much neglected the class entirely, and I am most certainly going to fail it, and I'll have to withdraw. This isn't surprising, because I've been in this situation many, many times before. But the issue goes much deeper.

For my entire life, I have struggled to do many basic things other people have no trouble with, like keeping my room clean or being on time. (I am chronically late). For high school I had bad grades, and for college I've had abysmal ones. I took Calc 2 three times, and Calc 3 four times. Business 1 three times, and I've repeated probably 3 or 4 engineering and other easy classes just a single time as well.

After my third year at university (a complete disaster), I investigated getting tested for ADD, and lo- and behold I "had" it, along with mild depression. Now I live on my own, and aside from not having enough friends as I'd like / once had, I don't really have any real reasons to be depressed. I started Adderrall a few years ago, and it showed me how backward I am. I'll get to this later.

A recent talk with my half-sister really opened my eyes by showing me she is very much like me when it comes to getting things done. For just about everything, I get no mental stimulation out of "doing it now," so I put it off. And off. And off. I have some kind of huge mental resistance, anxiety, or pain associated with doing it (for all you neuroscientists out there). I straight-up simply CAN NOT get myself to do it. In fact, I have never, EVER, just sat down and done something long before it absolutely _HAD_ to be done. Instead, it gets to a critical point where I realize, HOLY CRAP I am going to fail if I don't start now. Essentially, the things that actually motivate me are fear-driven (embarassment or failure). It's at this point I am now under huge pressure to get it done, and not surprisingly, I have totally inadequate time to do it, and my ability to focus and actually complete the task is completely compromised. Sometimes the stress gets so bad, I have to just quit what I'm doing and go to sleep, to alleviate the stress.

This trend goes on, and on, and on. I didn't finish school, and I'm trying to transfer right now, but my GPA is so low I can't get in anywhere. I've applied to universities over and over, where I've written essays about how I've grown and am a better, more mature person now, but the truth is I'm not. In full honesty, I know full-well the formula for success, but no matter how well I plan or organize my time, when it comes to physically doing it at the most primitive level, I fall flat on my face. Thus, that simple action-component of the master plan goes unfinished, and the house of cards begins to fall from there.

If it is of interest, my father has had very similar if not worse issues for his whole life, as well as my mother, but not quite as bad. My mother has serious lack of motivation issues and has had longstanding depression, and both my half-sisters seem to have the similar difficulties with focus and motivation.

This fits in to what I perceive as a greater trend: I generally lack stimulation, and I gravitate towards things that give me that kind of instant gratification.... primarily the Internet (and HN!), extreme sports, and playing guitar. I have actually become quite a jack of all trades, lacking follow-through to finish anything to my desire.

I've learned that really to get anything done right, it takes slow and consistent focused work, which unfortunately for me, is just very boring, and I never do it. I _can't_ do it. When I try, my mind wanders uncontrollably.

I've long been criticized as being lazy, and perhaps that's what I am, but I don't view it in that sense. I want _desperately_ to be able to work. I want to work long and hard on things, and have follow-through, but I am unconsciously prevented from doing so. I have tons of ideas and a wild creative side, but I have, as a marriage counselor put regarding my dad, "an aversion to doing."

The lack of stimulation seems to carry over into my relationships too. I have a hard time getting along with most people. Most people are just kind of boring; I don't get much out of their presence. Not in that I can't have a conversation for a short while and appear sociable (which I am), but truly making friends seems very, very difficult for me. I try to, but it just doesn't work. I rarely make actual friends that I feel comfortable with, until I randomly will make one, with no effort whatsoever (about 1 per year). Very interestingly, most of my friends are similar to me; they are of fairly socially-akward sort, and many are very ADD-ish.

I'm 24, and my life is in shambles, compared to what it could be. Very recently I almost got an amazing job at Apple (corporate), but after nine interviews, I was ultimately denied because I lacked the degree and had an "unprofessional" LinkedIN, Facebook, and email address. (okay the last part wasn't relevant). Anyway, that hurt, and I need to finish school. All my friends from high school are in _TOP_ law and grad schools, and I'm still semi-unsuccessfully drudging on with my undergrad and working at a startup that won't go anywhere, making $12/hour.

I don't know what plan of action to take. What can I do to fix this? Do I go see psychologist/psychiatrist? I've heard so much about the brain's plasticity, so is this something I can fix ? I had some level of success with Adderrall, and it showed me what it's like to _FEEL_ motivation to do things at the appropriate time and similarly the anxiety to _NOT_ doing it "now." It also made engaging with people much easier. It was pretty profound.

However, I really don't like the idea of being on a drug all the time, and I felt like I quickly grew tolerant to it, which is a trend I'm more afraid of than anything.

Nothing is working out for me, and I want to get things on track before I've wasted my life away. I have huge ambitions, but I cannot accomplish them, and being brutally honest, while it's still a long ways away, I wouldn't want to raise a kid with my habits as they are now. That's a big deal.

So, HN, any help or advice would be very appreciated.

Thanks.

<comment><USER42> Hi, I can relate to your situation, I feel like you are describing my life. My experience is this: all the psychological/organizing tips won't help. Problems is somewhere else. It's not about being lazy, not about being afraid of failure, needing latest organizing spreadsheet or anything like that. It's about brain chemistry and people around just don't get it as they try to understand your behavior assuming their state of mind. Books like "The Now Habit" address different problem entirely. I think I've read like hundred of "organizing", "anti procrastiation" etc. books. I see them as worthless when it comes to problems you describe. What they give you is very short lived kick and then a lot of frustration. What helped me is diet, supplements and drugs. I haven't tried adderall but I tried modafinil. It is life changer for me along with very low-carb diet which keeps my energy high during the day. I realize it's very anecdotical but I tried everything under the sun and after ~15 years (I am 30) of misery I finally feel better these days after implementing above mentioned changes. I feel like I lost the best years of my life trying to follow advice of people who just don't get it. Doctors who will do everything to avoid prescribing druga (it's not US). Authors who put well sounding boilerplate advice into the newest self-help book and people around who just assumed laziness. Now I have organized desk first time in 15 years, I keep my apartment clean first time since I live alone (~8 years or even longer counting living with roommates). I paid all the bills on time first time in a decade (it even happened before that they cut my electricity off because i just forgot/didn't want to do it despite having a lot of money available). I have my clothes arranged and shelves organized. I didn't do ANYTHING like described in NOW habit. I didn't implement ANY strategy to do this. I've just changed my diet and noticed I don't need to sleep during the day anymore and don't crash in the evening. I took the tablets and suddently I felt like just dealing with all the mess in my life so I did it.

<comment><USER43> I can relate to all of this as well. Like the above person, I find myself lacking motivation to complete the most basic of tasks. I'm often motivated more by fear of embarrassment or failure, which causes things to pile up and lead to stress in my life. A while back I was on Lexapro for my social anxiety and that seemed to help. But I haven't had health insurance for the last few years and therefore haven't been to a doctor.

With that said, in your experience, what is the best type of doctor for visit for this kind of thing?

<comment><USER42> My experience with doctors is very negative. Maybe it's because we are (Poland) somewhat behind 1st world. Most doctors assumed everything is ok because I was doing well when it comes to money (I was lucky to find a profession I was very good at despite disorganized lifestyle and putting not so many hours into it) and treated me like someone who makes stuff up. I tried psychiatrists, psychologists, neurologists. I even suspected something might be wrong with hormones so did all the tests/check-ups. No doctor even suggested I might try diet change/drugs/supplements for my problems. From what I read it's different in US and other countries where it's easier to find a doctor who try to help you. It was hopeless undertaking here and I wasted too many years trying (most doctors here don't even believe something like adult ADHD/ADD exists let alont other "made up" problems which according to many "comes from bad upgringing and lack of discipline").

<comment><USER44> How much modafinil do you take? Where do you get it from?

<comment><USER42> 100mg in the morning although some of my friends take 200mg. 100mg is enough for me to keep me awake/motivated/focused to about 4-5pm; rest of the day is ok as well and I usually sleep very well after that (interestingly I need less hours of sleep having taken modafinil in the morning). Depending on country you can get it from various sources in some (UK for example) you can just order it from India 100% legally. In US it's more of a problem but people still get it. Try reddit/r/nootropics for a start (and recommended places to get it). I also like /r/ADHD for community/support. Please consider what I wrote as personal very subjective testimonal and in no way an advice, let alone medical. If you decide to take any drugs please at least read about possible negative effects/precautions you should take.

</comment></comment></comment></comment></comment></comment><comment><USER45> This is interesting to me from the perspective of being a parent and having high expectations for my children. I think that as a parent it's important to have high expectations, but that there's a tricky line to walk regarding what _kind_ of high expectations to have. I grew up under the expectation of acing everything, and as a result I do feel a lot of what he talks about in the post. However, I'm trying to raise my children with a focus on persistence and confidence even in the face of the unknown. To that end, I'm always trying to find things for them to do that are a bit beyond their ability, but that they can solve with some work.

I've found that it's hard to break the habit of seeing "good" as synonymous with "right the first time" though, even when I know what the result of that attitude has been for me. I'm hoping that I can help my kids by focusing on the idea of learning from failure and improving by working hard, rather than trying to avoid failure. Any other parents out there working on this problem?

</comment><comment><USER46> "You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything."

I disagree.

My reasons for procrastination go like this:

1\. I don't know yet how to tackle the problem. (and I munge on it in the back of my mind while procrastinating)

2\. I am tired, but don't want to admit it. (and procrastination is faux rest)

3\. I'm pushing off committing to doing X because finally jumping in is scary. (it closes options to doing something else and humans would rather do nothing and have many options than do something and have no options)

4\. X just isn't that important to me right now. (it's much easier to clean the kitchen before cooking, than randomly in the middle of the day)

<comment><USER47> I disagree as well. My reasons for procrastination tend to fall around artificially creating a high stress situation. You see, I perform very well (very high productivity) under stress, to the extent that high performance may actually be a stress coping mechanism for stress.

I certainly do not procrastinate because I'm lazy, or have poor work ethic, or even risk averse. You can ask my family about that one. None of them would describe me as risk averse.

For me, it really comes down to stress as a motivator. Procrastination means doing things at the last moment, which creates an artificially stressful situation.

It may also be interesting to note that I do not suffer from any traditional high stress related health issues. My doctor recently commented that I am in exceptional health for my age (mid-thirties)

<comment><USER48> Usually the 'work better under stress' is a fallacy that procrastinators use. Timothy Pychyl puts it this way: 'It's not that you work better under pressure, it's that you only work under pressure.' But - I like your coping mechanism theory, that's worth exploring.

</comment></comment></comment><comment><USER49> I have the same problem, but I have found a solution that works pretty well for me. Whenever I find myself procrastinating, I do a short workout routine - 10 burpees, or as many chinups as I can - about a one minute high intensity routine that gets my pulse up but stopping short of breaking a sweat. I find that the increased pulse and adrenaline rush makes me less fearful of failure and gives me a bit of "what the hell" attitude.

Noting though that I only do this when working from home, since this is not really socially acceptable behavior in an office, let alone a café... perhaps I should work from a gym! :)

</comment><comment><USER30> Here is the original posting w/ comments from 2011: [http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not- lazi...](http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-laziness/)

</comment><comment><USER50> Also worth reading on the same topic and written by the philosopher/logician John Perry: <http://www.structuredprocrastination.com/>

<comment><USER51> This essay always resonated with me. Incidentally, John Perry won an Ig Nobel for this essay! [1]

[1] <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Perry_(philosopher)>

</comment></comment><comment><USER52> I often find myself in a similar cycle of procrastination, where the fear of commitment to a potential solution for anything worthwhile stems from the fear of failing at perfection. The only way to "finish" a project that I'm involved in is to have a very critical deadline that forces my attention to the most impactful decisions.

When I try to set personal deadlines, I end up always underestimating the duration of a task because I can never concentrate my effort to complete a single task at a given time. Instead, I find other problems that need attention, then more and more, until I end up with a stress bomb attached to my chest with a piercing beep that gets louder and louder until I just close my eyes, where it's quiet and I can think. Here I can think about how to address the problem, where it's coming from, hell - maybe even solve it.

Sometimes this proves helpful and leads to aha moments. More often than not, however, it takes me down a path of setting it aside - of giving up. A problem that can be solved in minutes by actually trying potential solutions instead of just thinking about them ends up lasting weeks.

When I realize the direction I'm headed, and the potential consequences of my decision-making, I refer to a quote that serves as a motivating factor that blinds the fear of failure - temporarily.

 _"The best way to finish an unpleasant task is to get started."_

</comment><comment><USER53> Just my testimonial for the book The Now Habit.

I found it on the library shelf at work. Was skeptical but interested. Borrowed it. Loved it. Told people. Endured their jokes about how long I would take to finish reading it, if ever.

Started using some of its exercises and remedies. Ran out of renewals. Returned it to work. Wanted a hardcover but couldn't find one. Bought it from the Kindle store instead.

Just finished reading it. Am beginning to read it again so I can apply the bits that I haven't yet.

One more thing, given this book you should consider to avoid losing your focus by spending endless time with additional productivity literature, but for my part I use a couple of simple things with it: Mark Forster "Final Version" lists (<http://markforster.squarespace.com>) and Pomodoro Technique (<http://www.pomodorotechnique.com>). Final Version leads me to select the task for which I feel the most resistance and tension as the task that I will address (not necessarily complete!) next. The Pomodoro Technique helps me to do what The Now Habit calls "persistent starting": get started, and no matter how many times I get into a slump or come back from a break, just get started again.

</comment><comment><USER54> What an incredible post, reading throughout I felt like not only could each paragraph be about me but it struck so accurately with me I felt like I could have written those words.

I am an extreme procrastinator but I will take away what I can from tfa and this thread to help that. It has forced me to accept that such procrastination isn't acceptable if I want to be a success.

</comment><comment><USER55> As far as fighting procrastination (and more generally: akrasia) I'm a big fan of going straight for the nuclear option: commitment devices! Here are all the startups I know of that offer commitment devices: <http://blog.beeminder.com/competitors>

Disclosure: Mine is one such startup!

</comment><comment><USER56> I love how the author puts off starting his experiment till Monday.

</comment><comment><USER14> I firmly believe this: Often the source of procastination is just plain trying too hard. Or it's attempting to try too hard and the mere thought of it becomes a crushing burden better alleviate by doing nothing (or so your mind says). Unrealistic or overly demanding expectations, as inflicted on the author, only exasperate the issue.

Laziness is a bit complicated since it's always relative.

Relative to what? What you do normally and have been for a while (in which case, it's usually the laziness we all know) or the mountain that's manifested in front of you? The latter is important as discouragement is also a prime mover for procastination. The mountain may or may not be self-inflicted, but if it exists, your normal coping strategies don't always work.

I have a procastination problem as well, but for different reasons (usually OCD).

</comment><comment><USER57> Procrastination seems exaggerated and over-analysed to me. I essentially believe our actions reflect our true desires and if a person spends 3 hours on HN when they "should" be working on their projects, then there's a disconnect between who they think they are and who they actually are.

</comment><comment><USER58> In addition to whatever else is going on,maybe you have an "aversion to doing" what the world says you _should_ do vs. what you'd like to do. You said you are a jack of all (many?) trades, so you're obviously accomplished in some areas. . .just not the areas you think you _should_ be accomplished. Maybe engineering is not for you. . .or at least being an engineering _student_. Also, you seem to have a few close friends that you click with. That's great! The _world at large_ may think you need lots of "friends" and acquaintances with whom you may or may not click. . .but many people (introverts!!) do just fine with only a handful of close friends. There's nothing wrong with that.

</comment><comment><USER59> I used to have this problem so bad when I was studying.

I'd just put off everything until the last minute, but I used to get a rush from staying up all night reading a topic for an exam or doing some programming assignment. There was a sort of heroic feeling of "They assigned 3 weeks for this, but it only took me 10 hours".

Of course when I got results back and found that I hadn't done especially well it was easy to rationalize, "well if I'd done it properly after some sleep I'd have got full marks of course".

But yes, nothing feels crappier than doing your best at something and failing.

</comment><comment><USER60> Pretty good article and analysis. It's like reading about my actual self.

 _So what they are motivated to do is to avoid finishing anything, because to complete and submit work is subject yourself (not just your work) to scrutiny._

I developed a WordPress plugin a few weeks ago. It was badly developed and I want hesitant to publish it. But somehow I convinced myself to submit it to the WordPress.org repository.

I got two positive reviews and some people thanking me for it. It just remembered me that it doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to work.

</comment><comment><USER61> Article gives very good analysis of root causes of procrastination (fear) but then falls apart by trying to suggest that "doingness" will resolve it. Temporarily it will, but then person usually gets back to old patterns driven by subconsciousness, UNLESS real cause: inner FEAR is not taken care of.

Most sources (books, gurus, seminars) are all for different flavors of doingness: Do this, do that. You haven't done this - so you'll need to do it more. Etc...

Almost no one addresses real solution - dissolving inner fears.

</comment><comment><USER62> I found that many things we avoid doing is related to pain avoidance. There are certain things we have done before that have caused a great deal of pain, and we hesitate to repeat it again. Procrastination helps in delaying the pain process. However, we sometime project and exaggerate the imaginary pain to other unrelated stuffs, which lead to general procrastination on general activities.

I have been putting off filing tax for so long because it's a painful process. I know. I need to do it now.

</comment><comment><USER63> I seriously just bookmarked this for reading later because I need to take a shower before I go to a party (it's 7:45 PM, I've been procrastinating the shower all day long).

</comment><comment><USER64> I feel like I've finally been diagnosed, "neurotic procrastinators perceive every mistake they make as being a flaw in them."

Great article, and I'll be sure to read the New Habit.

</comment><comment><USER65> I've never been able to stomach telling the truth to myself about my procrastination, let alone letting anyone else in on the anguish.

Is there anyone out there that would like to try an experiment of daily correspondence on the topic? Tell me what you achieved today, what you plan to achieve tomorrow, what your upcoming deadlines are etc. I'll do the same in return. Send me an email - <<myhnusername>>@163.com

</comment><comment><USER66> Another great read on this topic: [http://books.google.com/books/about/Your_Own_Worst_Enemy.htm...](http://books.google.com/books/about/Your_Own_Worst_Enemy.html)

I read it about a decade ago and it changed my life. I still struggle, I always will, but understanding the factors that contribute to procrastination and developing healthy coping/management methods has been infinitely helpful.

</comment><comment><USER67> In case anyone goes looking for the follow up to this post - you can find it here: [http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/progress-is-the-only- protec...](http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/progress-is-the-only-protection/)

Original post: [http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not- lazi...](http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-laziness/)

</comment><comment><USER68> While making To-do lists is useful, I find that tackling low-hanging fruit is the best way to slowly but surely start overcoming procrastination.

</comment><comment><USER69> I'm not a procrastinator, I'm an anticipation junkie.

</comment><comment><USER70> As a World Champion Grandmaster Super Kingpin Big Daddy Procrastinator, I have to say...yes, it is indeed laziness.

</comment><comment><USER71> > I want to write down what I'm going to do the next day, and actually do it. > [...] I will do anything but the 5 to 10 items I thought would be smart ones > to do.

This fits me like a suit. I have actively begun _not_ making lists because it is a guaranteed way to prevent the listed items from being completed.

</comment><comment><USER72> If you have persistent, severe problems with procrastination, willpower, and organization, don't rule out the possibility of an attention disorder. Smart people can often scrape by -- but proper diagnosis and management could dramatically help and improve your life.

<comment><USER73> On the contrary, I had it and it did not help me in the least bit. This article is much more useful than many sessions. It all depends on whom you're speaking with, others might be very good at helping you, but it's not always better.

I do agree though that proper diagnosis is better in any case, but it's not the solution to it all.

</comment></comment><comment><USER74> What does the following sentence in there mean?

"but suffice it to say that I learned that the downsides of being imperfect are far greater than the upsides of being perfect"

It looks odd in its context, because the text was about the _downsides_ of being perfect.

Thanks.

<comment><USER75> I think the author is saying that it is better (he is happier)to live with the downsides of being imperfect than to live under the pressure of trying to be perfect, never succeeding, and getting limited upsides.

<comment><USER74> Darn, reminds me of the drill in the movie "Pi" :/

</comment></comment></comment><comment><USER76> all goes for me also. but For some bigger things I need extra prepare time. Specially communicating with strangers, its mentally exhausting. So phone call might take me 24h instead of 10 minutes, but then I am not out of energy, after that call. I am really good at talking with strangers and organizing and nobody knows, but it takes huge amounts of energy.

And often, procrastination helps. With bigger plans or things, mind subconsciousnessly tackles problems, while I am "resting". And after that procrastination period, I know the answer I didn't know before.

</comment><comment><USER77> Procrastination is waiting for the right moment to have the best impact.

</comment><comment><USER78> This looks like a great article. I've bookmarked it for later. :D

</comment><comment><USER79> Definitely can relate to this post, but for me a lot of the stress turns into anxiety, which makes things even worse. How do people deal with controlling their anxiety?

</comment><comment><USER11> This struck a little too close to home... =\

</comment><comment><USER80> wow! A lot of things hit home. I am glad OP posted this. I wasn't aware of the psychological aspect and always thought my procrastination was just a form of laziness. I esp agree with the "hit"i get of letting myself off the hook, only to be in more stress. Thanks a lot again.

</comment><comment><USER81> Anyone has any feedback about the second book of Neil Fiore? "The Now Habit at Work"

Thank you for the enlightened post.

</comment><comment><USER82> Very good post, I highly recommend reading "The Now Habit" It's something I'm reading at the moment.

</comment><comment><USER83> Wow. How did you know all about me?

</comment><comment><USER84> Just to leave a line here so I remembered that I need to rethink again on this...

</comment><comment><USER85> I am waiting for someone to prove, solving procrastination problem is NP- Complete

</comment><comment><USER86> I'll have a read of this later

</comment><comment><USER87> Thanks for this

</comment><comment><USER88> tl;dr I'll get around to reading this later...

</comment><comment><USER89> It's worse.

</comment><comment><USER90> yes it is.

</comment><comment><USER91> As engineers, we are wont to analyze. But drawing a line somewhere helps us stay fleet-footed. This topic crosses that line -- it's not worthwhile analyzing your own actions to such an extent.</comment>


How Our Social Lives Can Be as Great as They Were in College - <AUTHOR> https://medium.com/@baronwilleford/a-way-towards-a-better-social-life-ad430b18882f#.b826rycky <comment><USER2> But it's _natural_ for the types of relationships you form to change as you get older, because _you 're_ changing. You're taking on responsibilities and discovering yourself and doing all the other things that passing through life entails. And as you do that, you grow and deepen and find new priorities that suddenly move you the way the old ones don't anymore. That's the human experience; it's not a bug, anymore than it's a bug for a caterpillar to become a butterfly. It's a _feature._

Someday you're going to be 30, then 40, then 50, and so on, and the farther you get from your college years the more narrow and limited they are going to seem. Eventually you will look back more in wonder than in comprehension at the you you were then, the same way college-aged you felt looking at a toddler; the way I imagine the butterfly looks at the caterpillar. Besides, the butterfly couldn't fit back into its chrysalis even if it wanted to. It's changed too much to fit into those old clothes anymore.

I feel like so many startups boil down to attempts to arrest that natural development; to freeze life in amber, just the way it was when the people behind them first came of age. But while I know from my own experiences what it's like to make that transition and worry what the future is going to bring, there's not much to be gained from trying to build a barricade to prevent it from arriving. The future is going to arrive whether you want it to or not. The way to handle that is to throw your arms around it, _embrace_ it, and become the you that you were always meant to be, rather than trying to hang on to a you that already slipped out of your grasp before you even noticed.

<comment><AUTHOR> That's a wonderfully eloquent comment, but I don't think you really understand what I'm trying to accomplish.

Krewe isn't about keeping the college years going. It's about becoming part of your local community and building valuable relationships. It's natural, and critically important for people to have those things as that's the way society evolved. Early man spent his entire life in a small tribe and knew everyone around him. But these days, people often don't know anyone who lives in their neighborhood, and we become socially isolated as a result.

Krewe isn't about meeting a bunch of people. It's about meeting them and then having the opportunity to get to know them. If you only become close with one person, that's great. If you become part of a strong, interconnected network that you can use to have great real-world experiences, grow your career, and find romantic partners, that's even better.

</comment></comment><comment><USER3> It's a decent idea but this is not the way to solve it.

Think about how many people you met during your college experience? It was easily hundreds. Out of that you came away with many friends but likely only a few really great friends. I don't think simply introducing 6 random people will even result in 1 successful friendship on average.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and recently won a chunk of money at a hackathon with an idea in this space. Ping me if you want to talk more.

<comment><AUTHOR> I made all of my friend from the groups of people I had to spend the most time with. I didn't become close with all those other people in college because I didn't have a lot of access to them. When you were a child, all your friends with were just random kids from your school district, right? They stopped being random because you spent enough time with them to get to know them, and the only good way you can really do that is if they live close enough to you to see them often.

I'd definitely love to hear about your approach and any other feedback. How can I contact you?

<comment><USER4> > I made all of my friend from the groups of people I had to spend the most > time with

As did I, but perhaps those people were in the same major or the same club as you rather than just 20 random people?

Furthermore, the club I was most active in had about 20 people, but I really only spent time outside of club activities with 3 or 4 of them, so to replicate this you need 20+ people that share a common interest, that are forced to be together as a prerequisite for engaging in that interest. I'm not sure Krewe provides that.

<comment><AUTHOR> People always ask me about interests, and I always say that I don't think they're as important as you might imagine. If everyone lives in the same neighborhood, then they already have something in common. People's differences can be just as likely to bring people together as their similarities. The best conversation topics are going to be about what's going on in your life, or about a funny experience you once had. Plus, you can influence each other over time and come up with new shared interests. I can go into this a lot more, but it'll likely need to take up another blog post.

Krewe will let you meet 20+ people over time. It starts at 6 because that's a comfortable size (you can go into it knowing everyone's names, sit at a booth in a bar, and have a group conversation). Most mature adults can easily get along with anyone. Eventually you'll find the people you really connect with.

<comment><USER4> Perhaps what I said wasn't clear.

If you want to major in Physics, you'll encounter a lot of physics majors from the same year as you over and over again, regardless of your desire to do so.

If you join the chess club, you'll encounter a lot of chess club members over and over again.

In both cases you are being forced to spend time with these people, regardless of your desire to. Some of those people will rub you the wrong way, others you will start to hang out with outside of the initial context you met them in.

</comment></comment></comment></comment></comment><comment><USER5> Honestly, I had some amazing times at my school (upstate hippy dippy liberal arts college where I majored in computer science, creative writing, and recreational cannabis inhalation) but I much prefer socializing and meeting new people in the city the author and I live in. There's just such a huge variance of people, interests, and scenes that it's very easy to make new friends (in my experience, YMMV). Making close friends is a lot harder. But I feel making the whole process through an app and "scheduled" really takes away from the organic means one builds lasting friendships with.

"That would make living in New York more like living in a small college town, where I could walk down to a local bar on a whim and expect to bump into a handful of close friends. "

You can do this if you start chatting up people at the bar? Or frequent an establishment where people you enjoy being around go (gallery, hacker space, whatever)

I think you have the seed of an interesting idea, but my gut reaction to a lot of the friendship / dating apps is that they are solving problems a person can solve on their own if they are willing to do so.

<comment><AUTHOR> The problem with trying to make friends "on your own" is that it's really uncomfortable. For many, chatting up someone at the bar is uncomfortable to begin with, but then asking them to hang out on a "friend date" later on is so much worse.

The great thing about Krewe is that you have a group dynamic, which is much more comfortable since you're not forced to maintain a long conversation and there are no confused intentions.

A person with the right personality will always be able to make lots of friends, but for the rest of us, it's much more difficult and frankly, might not even happen. 20% of Americans say they're lonely and the number of close friendships we have has been falling for years.

<comment><USER6> > The problem with trying to make friends "on your own" is that it's really > uncomfortable.

Social interactions and relationships take effort, as well as nurturing. If you're uncomfortable making the attempt, like any skill, you will get better the more you try at it.

An app or website is not going to make socializing any easier. If anything, it will handicap you further.</comment></comment></comment>


Yarn - <AUTHOR> https://yarnpkg.com <comment><USER2> Probably I didn't get this, too tired, but would any product trying to take over the system's package manager be destined to fail?</comment>