text:
Woman with Flesh-eating Disease Fights for Life
Aimee Copeland's condition improves after contracting flesh-eating disease from zipline fall.
Georgia graduate student Aimee Copeland continues to fight for her life after contracting a flesh-eating disease from a zipline accident on the Little Tallapoosa River near the Georgia-Alabama border.
Copeland, 24, fell from the homeade zipline and cut her leg on rocks during a kayaking trip with friends on May 1. After closing the gash with 22 staples, doctors at a nearby hospital confirmed it had become infected with flesh-eating bacteria, dubbed "necrotizing fasciitis." They have since amputated most of her left leg and she'll eventually lose her right foot as well as both hands, according to the Associated Press.
Doctors say Copeland has held up surprisingly well since her transfer to a hospital in Augusta, Ga. Though she remains in critical condition, she will soon be able to breath without a ventilator and her parents say they have begun reading her lips.
The bacteria that caused the disease, Aeromonas hydrophila, is found in warm water and is considered common. Most people come away from exposure to the bacteria with an upset stomach and a case of diarrhea. But with Copeland, the germ carried flesh-eating bacteria that entered her leg wound and cut off blood flow.
Unfortunately, the more Copeland fights the infection, the less she remembers —the medication helping keep her alive impairs her memory. In a blog chronicling Aimee's recovery, her father acknowledges it could be a moment of 'horror and depression for Aimee' when she is finally well enough to fully grasps her condition.


text:
Two men punched and attempted to rob a man who was walking on the 5100 block of Main Street around 10:30 p.m. July 26, said.
The victim was walking northbound on the east side of Main Street when two men stepped from an alley and demanded he give them everything he had on him, police said.
One of the assailants punched the man above his eye, cutting his eyebrow, police said. The offenders ran away through the alley without taking anything from the victim, who did not report the incident to police until July 31.
One suspect is described as a black male in his late teens or early 20s, about 5-foot, 9-inches to 5-foot, 10-inches tall, and with a slight build. The other suspect was also described as a black male in his late teens or early 20s who is 6-foot to 6-foot, 2-inches tall with a muscular build.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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December 19, 2012
This is a touchy and gross subject. I am a 17-year-old girl growing up in an adoptive family in Australia. I was sexually abused by my birth family, and I think it really fucked up my sexuality. The only thing that gets me off is the idea of people absolutely destroying their lives for an orgasm. I started with mild S&M stories and then moved on to grosser stuff like murder (stories and online images), pedo (stories only), and lately I've been thinking about my (adoptive) parents. The thing is, it doesn't have to be a particular category. As long as it's the most vile thing I can think of, it will get me off. There isn't a pattern as far as gender, age, or relationship to the people I am fantasizing about; it just has to be horrible, the kind of thing that would destroy you in real life. These fantasies alone are scary enough, but because they are literally the only things that get me off, I can't even really tell if I'm attracted to boys or girls or none of the above. I'm scared to talk to a counselor about this because I don't want to freak my parents out. I mean, I've got my quirks, but overall I seem like a pretty healthy kid, and I try not to worry them. I don't expect you to solve this problem via your column, but do you have any ideas for how I could get help with this without messing up my family?
Not Over Painful Experiences
Sane people can have extreme and/or violent sexual fantasies, NOPE, and extreme and/or violent sexual fantasies do not make sane people crazy. (Let's call them EVSFs for short, shall we?)
But you need to talk to a shrink—not because you're hopelessly damaged or the only person out there with EVSFs, but because you're troubled by your fantasies. And that's understandable. It's difficult to have EVSFs—or to find a healthy way to incorporate EVSFs into your sex life, or to figure out how to dial EVSFs way the fuck back if there's no healthy way to incorporate them into your sex life—when your erotic imagination is constantly dragging you to new and more disturbing places. And while most people's fantasies are relatively fixed, i.e., certain types of people or scenarios turn them on, your erotic imagination seems to be on the hunt for new "wrong" thoughts, images, stimuli, and scenarios. You need to seize control of your sexuality, and you'll need help doing that, or your sense of estrangement from your sexuality will only continue to grow.
That said, NOPE, you could be seeing causation where there is only coincidence. There are a lot of people out there who didn't suffer the kind of abuse you did—or any kind of abuse at all—but who nevertheless have EVSFs. Some people with troubling fantasies or interests have found relief with low-dose antidepressants; some folks with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have been helped by novel programs that incorporate MDMA, aka ecstasy, into their treatment plans. You could be suffering from PTSD, considering your history.
A good therapist—one with whom you are completely honest—may be able to help you reshape and redirect your fantasies in the direction of still-intense, less-wrong, not- constantly-escalating stimuli that gives you the "wrongness" charge you need without nuking your mental health or your life. (Stay away from all pedo porn sites, NOPE, even "stories only" porn. Please.) And a good sex therapist can help you draw a clear distinction between your adult sexuality—whatever form it takes—and your history of sexual abuse. (I shared your letter with a sex researcher I trust, and she urged me to urge you to insist on seeing a reputable therapist who does sex therapy specifically, as they're less likely to be sex-negative and therefore less likely to react with prudish or panicked judgments when you disclose your EVSFs.)
Considering the abuse you suffered at the hands of your family of origin, NOPE, I trust that your adoptive parents are aware that you may need professional help throughout your life and that your asking for help is a good sign about (1) you as a person and (2) them as parents. At your very first appointment, ask your shrink to confirm that your sessions are confidential. If for some reason your shrink tells you he or she can't offer you complete confidentiality (which they can and, in most places, are required to do by law, unless you're a danger to yourself or others), thank the nice shrink for his or her time and ask your parents to make you an appointment to see a different shrink.
Please get help—not because you are or may be kinky, NOPE, but because you're struggling with doubt, you're confused about your sexual orientation, and you're rightly worried about the way your erotic imagination keeps upping the "wrongness" ante. And remember: Not all counselors or shrinks are created equal. If you don't like or click with the first one you see, tell your parents you want to see someone else.
I am gay and I have a brother who's gay. The problem is, he is very much into humiliation. He exposes himself online and allows his online "masters" to have control over his pictures and videos. I found his pictures recently, and the embarrassment and humiliation were a huge turn-on for him. (In real life, we've never shown any interest sexually in each other whatsoever. But when he asked if I had any naked pictures, I told him I did and sent some to him, and somehow that was a bit of a turn-on, I must admit.) On to the real problem: Soon, my brother told me that he felt really guilty, cleaned up his hard drive, deleted all his pics and mine and asked me to do the same, and swore off playing online. But I found evidence that he's resumed this habit. This has been a pattern for him, he says, and he insists he was somehow damaged in childhood. I told him I see him as my kinky brother and that he might be happier if he could just accept himself. But I don't think he should quit his "addiction" cold turkey, as it hasn't worked in the past.
Bro Of Kinky Bro
There are people who manage to turn their lives upside down in pursuit of their turn-ons—there are people whose sex lives are complete fucking shitshows—and all they're into is heterosexual sex in the missionary position in their own bedrooms with the lights off. Your brother's problem isn't his childhood or his kink. His problems, plural, are his self-loathing, his attempts to swear off his kink (which leads to these binge-and-purge cycles), and the reckless ways he indulges his kink when he's bingeing.
Instead of running from his kinks—which he can't do—your brother needs to find safer, saner ways to satisfy his desire for erotic humiliation and submitting to someone else's control. People with humiliation kinks managed to find ways to get off before the internet came along, BOKB, and so can your brother.
And you need to establish better boundaries, BOKB. No more swapping pics with your kinky bro, bro, and no more hunting for evidence of your bro's ill-advised online adventures.
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It was a German newspaper article (pop science, not original research) so there is no point in linking it directly.
But among others, they cited this study:
This might be connected:
And they referred to a, as-yet unpublished, study by Nestoriuc from Vienna university about the factors leading to side-effects of psychotherapy.
One the color of caramel, his touch nervous and light in turns, his body as smooth as satin. And one as big as a bear and wholy covered in luscious fur, soft spoken and gentle.
Oooh Mommy loves Christmas...
Bipolar, schizoid disorders and psychosis tend to show up (diagnosed anyway) in your early-mid twenties, so late 30's is pretty late.
And those problems actually are some of the ones we have the most effective treatments for. You can medicate for this stuff, and it makes a huge difference. Therapy too, of course, you need help to navigate the disease, but man, on meds off meds is like night and day. You can look at someone and know if they've been taking them correctly. It's like a miracle when they get them (more or less) right.
And the earlier you treat, the less severe they tend to get. So best figure out how to identify it faster, including in kids, if it can be.
Anyway, that's kind of off topic to the original letters. I think therapy does have some use for this girl if she chooses it, because here's what therapists do - they offer you perspective, are neutral, don't judge, you don't have to spare their emotions like you would a friend, they are completely confidential and you can talk to them knowing that they will never tell a soul and you don't have to see them in your everyday life, they offer a sounding board for your problems and help alleviate self-hatred by helping you work toward some sort of clarity. Therapy is a tool, and it can be useful if you want it to be. Can be lifesaving too, and certainly helps drive through pain faster than working on things alone. It's good to talk to someone with some experience with these things, right?
Wow, that's awful. Therapy should always be confidential, I can't imagine the use of an age limit.
I agree. I also think that faking/manipulating is more common for people in court-ordered, school-orderered or otherwise punitive therapy. I don't believe in forcing people (even children) into therapy. The point is identifying the problem, and offering the opportunity to work on it. People who are willingly in therapy are unlikely to intentionally manipulate their therapists.
Could you link up that study please?
I think that seandr answered your question better then?
Seandr - I agree. I typically see medication as a push for people who can't manage therapy yet.
There is absolutely a chance that some people will work the system to get what they wanted out of it. I have been guilty of that myself when it comes to mental health treatment in the past. However, I think if the stigma were removed, it would happen less often. Mental health treatment (in America anyway) can be expensive, besides being looked down on. Making it not only more accessible, but a requirement, would mean that you wouldn't be singled out for seeing a therapist, it would be normal. Some people would still work the system, but overall, people would be less inclined too, IMO.
Great! In msg 72 your priestess saved your relationship with your wife; in 74 she saved your relationship with your husband. She's a real miracle worker.
There is nothing I disagree with in your post. But I think you missed my point.
All I wanted to point out was that it seems more difficult to design a good rigorous study to compare different approaches to psychotherapy than for different kinds of drugs. And funny that you should mention lack of side-effects as the advantage of psychotherapy. There's just been an article about the outcomes of psychotherapy and its side-effects, and that negative side-effects are more common than expected. In Austria university researchers apparently have developed a list of risks and side-effects of psychotherapy for patients.
Not at all. Pick any common mental affliction, and you'll find scores of treatment outcome studies along with meta-analyses that rank the effectiveness of various approaches. The best approach usually depends on the affliction (DBT for borderlines, Maudsley for anorexia, cognitive behavioral for phobias, etc.)
No, they aren't double-blind, but when you're dealing with a program that operates through the recipient's conscious mental processes, they can't be, nor should they be - the point of blindness in drug studies is to filter out the influence of psychological processes, whereas with therapy, those processes are largely the point. This is the same for outcome studies of, say, educational programs (e.g., math curricula, charter schools vs public).
As for lack of a placebo control group, if a study compares 2 or more different therapeutic methods, it can still isolate some of a given method's contribution beyond the simple act of showing up and having a chat. FWIW, my disdain for psychoanalysis is based in part on my familiarity with some of these types of studies.
That said, a lot of people seek help for problems that manifest as depression or dissatisfaction but are caused by some combination of that patient's personality, history, and the particular set of circumstances they find themselves in (e.g., relationship, career). In those cases, anti-depressants can provide symptom relief, usually at the cost of some unfortunate side effects, but they don't necessarily target the dynamics responsible for the problem. In my experience, they simply can't compete with an effective therapist who is able to figure the particular puzzle you present to them.
There were a few things about your post that threw me, but I'll start with the age thing since I'm pressed for time.
What about depression
The average age of onset is getting lower. As it currently stands, age 15-24 has the highest rate of depression and I would not be the least bit surprised to see subclinical/mild depression in those 13 year olds who will have depression later in life.
"Depressive symptoms that don't quite meet the diagnostic criteria for major depression are even more common in adolescents. A study of 9863 students in grades 6, 8, and 10 in the United States found that 25% of the girls vs. 10% of teh boys reported elevated depressive symptoms."
or substance abuse
Substance abuse is certainly not unheard of in middle school, and most hardcore drug addicts start early. But in any case, substance abuse is virtually always a comorbid condition with another disorder and I think it's disingenious to treat it in a vacuum.
or PTSD?
Um, look above - there's lots of PTSD in children. Childhood abuse is a massive cause of PTSD. And PTSD in adults who have experienced massive trauma is a miraculously low-stigma disorder, so it's low on my concern list in this context.
I'm thinking of a friend who had his first major psychotic episode with bi-polar when he was in his late 30s.
That's an argument for early screening, not against it. There's a big difference between the onset of a disease and the first major psychotic (manic?) episode of the disease. So in other words, with screening they get offered help at the former, without screening they don't look for help until the latter.
We're currently more likely to recognize bipolar in teenagers and young adults (typical onset) but again, there are people trying to pioneer ways to catch it earlier.
Some mental health problems are so severe that no amount of help is going to keep a person from doing something to harm themselves or others, but most people have a chance to, maybe not get better, but maintain a normal life.
That said, I believe there is more mystery to what psychotherapists do. You kind of wonder if the information couldn't be gotten more cheaply from a book, or you wonder if sympathy is for sale.
69- Pretty much every psych disorder besides schizophrenia shows up before age 13? What about depression or substance abuse or PTSD? I'm thinking of a friend who had his first major psychotic episode with bi-polar when he was in his late 30s.
But more than that, the problem with psychiatric screenings is that I'm afraid people would learn the right things to say to get the results they want. You find that in drug treatment programs. They work wonders for some number of people who want help getting sober, but for others, they learn the party line, the script, and then go on to give a great performance on following the 12 steps when they're still getting drunk on non-meeting time. If someone knows that there's a likelihood that they'll be committed to a mental institution if they don't straighten up, they're probably not going to think that there's this nice place where they're going to get the help the need. They'll more likely think that they better show all the signs of conforming.
So while I certainly agree that it makes sense to remove the stigma on mental illness and make it easy for people to get treatment, I see practical barriers until the treatments get better. Right now, even with the best efforts, we don't really have something that works for bi-polar or schizophrenia or for psychopaths. It's a puzzle.
You ever watch Scrubs? I'm picturing Dr. Cox's therapist as the quintessential "male" therapist. :p
I'm a big believer that people should have mental health 'checkups' just like healthy people have physicals once a year. I also think that sometime in junior high (hey we could get rid of all the anti-drug stuff and then we'd have the space) they should have someone come into schools and talk to each of the students. Obviously it wouldn't be perfect but just to identify if anyone is in need of psych help. Pretty much every mental disorder shows up by 13 (except schizophrenia, off the top of my head) so I think it'd be the ideal time to screen.
Of course it would never happen but it's my dream. I'd also love it if they could spend some time breaking down misconceptions about mental health, teaching kids to not stigmatize eachother.
I could go on, but I'll spare you.
Comparing drugs and therapy is, in some ways, like comparing apples and oranges.
I'll start off by saying that I'm not anti-medication (lest we forget my lengthy and heavily contested defense of psychiatric medications a few weeks back or whenever that was).
But therapy holds the benefit of not increasing suicidal ideation. Therapy also doesn't cause such intense nausea that the patient has to take a week off work or out of school. Therapy doesn't increase your risk of diabetes. Therapy is pretty unlikely to cause erectile dysfunction. You can't take all your therapy sessions at once in an attempt to kill yourself. In fact, therapy poses virtually no risk to your health at all.
Anyway, to my knowledge there is a fair bit of evidence for which kinds of psychotherapy work in which population groups (by disorder, not gender, though) - I just personally think that there's enough individual variation within those groups to muddy the waters somewhat.
How do you define a success?
Um. I'd imagine the exact same way you would for medication? The symptoms improve?
What is a reasonable time until you should see the positive outcome?
Who's "you"? In this equation? The patient? In my experience, people often make progress and improve in ways that are perceptible to others (the therapist, friends) but that they don't realize yet. Depressed people especially are not especially sensitive to positive trends in their lives so it might take a while for the message to sink in. Different kinds of therapy suggest different time lines. CBT often gives a 6 month timeline from what I've seen.
But improvement isn't binary. The longer a person dedicates, the more they will improve, in different amounts, at different times, in different ways. Maybe a little jump in functioning at six months. Maybe a jump in mood at 11 months, etc.
This. Very much. I attempted several therapists that were awful... for me. I'm sure there were people who worked very well with them, but I didn't.
If a person is completely unwilling to open up, it doesn't matter how good a therapist is, they won't be able to accomplish anything. I know that, for me, talking about things that are NOT hot button topics and letting them evolve into other things works much better, because, even if I know I should talk about it, I won't. Inside I envision myself as that little kid with their arms crossed over their chest screaming, "I don't wanna!"
So, for someone like me, it takes almost the whole hour to get anywhere, which makes for slow going, lol. I'm sure other people want to let things out so much that their therapist may not have to talk at all.
I really wish that seeing a therapist was a part of normal healthcare, because I think building a rapport with someone before there's a need for them would be much easier than trying to build one while you're in crisis and not really wanting to talk about it.
There seems also to be a lack of evidence which kinds of psychotherapy work and to what degree and for which population groups.
With new drugs it's comparatively easy to design a randomised, double-blind placebo-controlled study.
Double-blind and placebo-controlled do not work well for talk therapy. How do you define a success? What is a reasonable time frame until you should see the positive outcome?
I'm sure I've incorrectly linked "psychodynamic" with psychoanalysis.
Having seen a number of talented, well-known, insider-referred therapists over the years, no question rapport is a critical ingredient, both for newbies who aren't entirely sold on the enterprise as well as people with more experience "on the couch."
I think the field also suffers from a shortage of masculine therapists, which makes it a difficult sell and/or ineffective for a lot of men. It's partly a matter of rapport, but also, therapeutic processes as commonly practiced tend to have a decidedly feminine style (i.e., a focus on introspection, emotional processing, empathy, compassion, reflection, etc.). I think a lot of men would benefit from a process that looks more like mentoring and problem solving.
I saw a number of really smart and insightful women and (to be frank) wimpy/dorky men, but never really got anywhere and had written off therapy as not for me. Finally, I was referred to a guy who is hip and unabashedly male (and good!), and he has profoundly changed my life for the better.
I agree.
I'd only like to add to point a that I've noticed something (just personal observation) that especially among people who are new to therapy, rapport matters more than nearly anything else. So even a perfectly competent and even very skilled therapist can be rendered 'ineffective' in that case.
P.S. this comes down to nomenclature but I'm pretty sure not all psychodynamic therapy is like that. In my experience (unless I'm remembering incorrectly) pscyhodynamic therapy is essentially just nondenominational talk therapy which can borrow from any form (CBT, DBT, etc).
Long story short, when it comes to styles of therapy I've seen different things work for different people.
It may be in part due to ignorance or inaccurate preconceptions, but I think it's also because:
a) It's a very hard job to do well, which means there are a lot of practitioners out there who are ineffective or worse.
b) Sometimes, effectiveness depends on whether the therapist's personality, personal history, and theoretical approach are a good fit with the patient.
c) Psychodynamic/Psychoanalytic (i.e., contemporary Freudian) psychotherapy. It's a bunch of endless, useless masturbatory blathering to a therapist who feels his/her primary job is to be cool, detached, say as little as possible, and appear to be earnestly scribbling notes. Embodies pretty much every negative stereotype of psychotherapy. Bizarrely, it's still popular, especially on the east coast.
What does a therapist do?
And by that you mean, how does a therapist do what they do?
I find something curious about the fact that therapy is often scrutinized in such a way. Do you understand how architects do their job? Do you understand how songwriters do what they do? What about chemical engineers?
Anyway there are many different kinds of therapy and they work on different principles. Typically a therapist may help a patient with:
- better understanding their own emotions
- better understanding their own motivations for behaviours that trouble them
- coming to realize and/or accept things they have been denying or fighting
- learning to hold themselves in higher regard
- challenging unrealistic or harmful thoughts
- remodelling their behaviour
- learning coping skills
- having a source of supportive structure from a trusted adult (often for the first time in life)
In addition, if the therapist is a psychiatrist they can also prescribe medication that may help the patient.
They often do these things by talking: asking questions, offering suggestions and ideas, etc.
How many young kids, gay and straight, have killed themselves because of these toxic drugs? We will most likely never know and would be disgusted if we found out.
Children and adolescents SHOULD NOT BE TAKING anti-depressants, as there is clear clinical evidence that anti-depressant use in this population leads to a large percentage increase in suicide attempts and suicide completion.
All the survivors I know or I've read have suffered from similar fantasies that gross them out. It's violent, it's sexual, it's abusive, and it can be way worse than the abuse actually suffered - it's not reliving past trauma. The most disturbing part about it, is that the body becomes really aroused. It's really hard to stand.
It's like your own body and mind join in and behave as a torturer, of yourself or of others. Not fun. Most survivors don't ever share the actual contents of their "nightmares", even anonymously, since the guilt is tremendous.
This does fade over time, but the "nightmares" never totally go away. One must learn to live with them, and not let oneself get affected by them too much. There's no other choice, really. The thousandth occurence is nowhere near as frightening as the tenth one.
It was meant as a general comment on the state of education in the US, specifically its inability to turn out 17-year-olds who can write, to the point that the expectation has become that 17-year-olds can't write.
Not directed at you personally.
NOPE, if your parents have a healthy enough attitude towards sex - as it seems, since they've brought you up and you know enough to write to Dan Savage - they'll be relieved that you're now taking this into your own hands. A sexually abused child asking, on his/her own, to see a psychiatrist about some sex stuff is very good news to a mindful parent. It shows that healing is actively sought after. It's good.
I'd suggest a psychologist specialized in childhood sexual abuse. Many psychologists are completely clueless about what past childhood sexual abuse does to a person. You don't have to endure their cluelessness. And yes, obviously a sex positive one.
@38 Good idea, but my 17-yo self would have found it's already giving Too Much Information to admit sexual thoughts are creeping around.
Alternative script : "Mom and dad, you know what happened to me before I lived with you. I feel like now, it's a good time for me to talk about it with a psychologist who specializes in this field, one who has a positive attitude towards sexuality. It would help me a lot. Could you help me find one ?"
And if they start asking what's wrong exactly (though I highly doubt they would ever - family usually treads lightly around known survivors) : "Really Mom and Dad, I can't talk about that with you, it's gross, it has nothing to do with us as a family, I never want to broach this subject with you, nor do I want you to go and ask anything about it to the psychologist. It's my story and I'll walk this walk alone. Please trust me on this."
I don't have any special insight into therapeutic approaches to sexual abuse (and I'm sure there are many specific, well-established techniques) but there are general benefits to therapy that I think would apply:
1) The simple act of talking about an issue can help the patient take a more "objective" perspective on it and thereby make them less emotionally beholden to it (there's a term for this I'm forgetting).
2) Validation and normalization. "Well of course you felt X in response to Y, lots of people do." Same benefits as above, with added benefit of releasing shame/humiliation, which often plays a role in maintaining problematic cycles.
3) Giving the patient a realistic sense of the possibilities by sharing with them how others with similar issues and circumstances have progressed.
It would seem that there are 2 tacks to take.
1. Helping NOPE to dial back the fantasies to a level where they're not that disturbing and she gets off anyway.
2. Convincing NOPE that there's nothing wrong with violent fantasies because there doesn't have to be a connection between a fantasy and the rest of one's life.
There's also dealing with the sexual abuse. Dan's correct that there isn't a necessary cause and effect between abuse and violent fantasies. (In my case, humiliation fantasies, no sexual abuse-- if a survey of one helps any.) But what does a therapist say? How does it work? I'm having trouble imagining what would go on in that therapist's office.
In any case, I did have my doubts and expressed them. Other people corrected me in a civilized manner and I did come around as stated @41.
I assume your "bar lowering" statement meant mostly to make yourself feel so superior to others, but so be it.
This is going to be my last comment this week and I still wish all of us, even you "Biggie", happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.
My heart goes out to you, too!
@13 EricaP: Thanks for catching that!
I think the whole world needs a Band-Aid, hug, and kiss!
That's a great attitude, but you're probably not going to worry your parents by asking them to see a counselor to work through some of your experiences with your birth family. Many adults would interpret that as a sign of maturity and self-awareness.
Judging from many of the comments, what you are going through doesn't seem all that uncommon. I would think if you looked for therapists who are experienced in dealing with sexual abuse, you could find one who is validating and who has worked with others on similar issues.
As I've become more confident in my sexuality and less adversarial towards it, the fantasies have subsided. Having a healthy relationship and sex life has helped immensely with that.
My suggestion echoes the others: Work through your trauma in a way that acknowledges what you've been through, and move on.
This is an example where I'd use Dan's phrase, "it gets better".
Your life will be scarred by the abuse. That does not mean you will fail your goals, be unhappy. Don't fret your fantasies too much, they are the spice of life.
Text is text, and no more harmful than any other form of pure fantasy, whether the stories are about consenting adults, children, animals, unicorns/elves, or anything else. Seems like the most harmless way to indulge a kink that can not or should not ever be played out in real life.
How low the bar has fallen.
Please check my admission and apology @41
I also suffered horrendous abuse as a child. At 17 I could have easily written that letter. I wouldn't have been able to speak the words, but I could have certainly written them. Without a doubt.
Chances are NOPE took their time writing that. Read and re read it to ensure they were sending Dan the very best letter they could have on the subject. I highly doubt it was a letter hastily tapped out in a few.minutes. Given the test they have in Dan, the internal struggle they are experiencing, I have a hard time believing that they didn't write the letter with all of theit intellectual prowess they could muster.
If it were me and I were writing at seventeen, I would have made dang sure I came across as mature, articulate, and concise.
Unlike this post im tapping out on my cell phone.
I also suffered horrendous abuse as a child. At 17 I could have easily written that letter. I wouldn't have been able to speak the words, but I could have certainly written them. Without a doubt.
Chances are NOPE took their time writing that. Read and re read it to ensure they were sending Dan the very best letter they could have on the subject. I highly doubt it was a letter hastily tapped out in a few.minutes. Given the test they have in Dan, the internal struggle they are experiencing, I have a hard time believing that they didn't write the letter with all of theit intellectual prowess they could muster.
If it were me and I were writing at seventeen, I would have made dang sure I came across as mature, articulate, and concise.
Unlike this post im tapping out on my cell phone.
Not all psychologists in Australia are listed - as you don't have to be a member of the APS to practice in Australia (although you do have to be registered with the national body, AHPRA). But this is a great resource to start with to find psychologists who deal in specific areas.
You may also wish to talk to your GP - who may know of an appropriate psychologist in your area they can refer you to - and in going through your GP you may be able to get the sessions covered under Medicare.
You don't have to disclose to either your parents or your GP the specifics about why you'd like to see a psychologist - you can be more basic and say that you'd like to work through some things/worries, with a psychologist, that have come up for you as a result of the childhood trauma.
I here by declare that thanks to:
@28 mydriasis
@30 KateRose
@31 Aussie Kid
as well as the "tired of hearing" teacher @40 Drusilla
my faith in Dan Savage and humanity in general has been fully restored, and I offer my sincere apologies to anyone who has been offended in any way.
I also wish the best for all the suffering people out there and wish us all happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.
Regarding NOPE, I want to point out that a person's sexual orientation and romantic life can be utterly different from his or her fantasy life. I enjoy vanilla sex but my fantasies are all quite extreme, even vile at times. I have no interest in "realizing" my fantasies. They're fantasies. My reality is the one I like; a very nice, stable, Ozzie-and-Harriet kind of life. So I have to imagine some violent thing in order to have an orgasm. Big deal. To me, that's just the same as, say, having to rub my clitoris in some specific way in order to have an orgasm. It doesn't really mean anything about the whole rest of my life. It certainly has nothing to do with the people who have my affection, trust, and love. Nor does it have anything to do with the person who is always there when I orgasm.
The advice blogger Captain Awkward likes to offer her LWs sample scripts to use on the people in their lives. Here's the basic gist of what I think NOPE could tell her parents:
"I've been having some thoughts and feelings about sex that confuse me. Considering my history with my birth family, and considering that I'm almost an adult, I want to talk through my feelings with a therapist. I think it would make me feel better. I know there are therapists who really know what they're doing with these issues, therapists with a positive attitude toward sex in general. Will you help me look for someone I can talk to?"
Edit for tone as needed, but this covers the basic points I think NOPE should bring up, and it leaves out the intimate or alarming details she doesn't want to share.
Of course some parents will say no to such requests. That's not a good reason not to ask. If someone feels unsafe asking, THAT's a good reason not to ask - just like when an LGBT kid is weighing whether to come out. But there's no indication in NOPE's letter that she has anything serious to fear from her parents. She says she's afraid to "freak them out." To me, that indicates loving and supportive parents who just want their kid to be okay.
I'm not saying everyone who asks their parents for medical or psychiatric help will get exactly what they need/want, but they might get at least something, so the potential benefits outweigh the discomfort of asking.
And even if you ARE imagining your actual parents, etc, the reason you're feeling ooked out is because you don't actually want to do this in real life. You see them in person and think OMG! NO! YUCK! So don't be too hard on yourself.
That said, it can also be disturbing and gross and I totally get wanting to change your thought patterns there. It's really not too unlike Dan's thing where he tells guys to not wank off too much in one position or with the same kind of stroke lest they get too accomodated to it that way and can't others. It took me a bit to wean myself off the more extreme stuff, several months, years in some cases, but I got there eventually and I am REALLY happy I did it. Other fantasies I decided to just get over it and some of those eventually went away as I became bored with them. For the incest ones, it wasn't too hard... I substituted someone who was NOT a relative but a similar dynamic (say a family friend or something). I felt a lot better once I stopped thinking about stuff I found repulsive. Hugs to you, I completely get it. Make sure you find a sex positive therapist, and one who won't think you ACTUALLY want to fuck little kids/your parents or who won't shame you and although you might not consider it this way but one who won't go on and on and on about your family of origin and how you were clearly so horribly, terribly, brutally hurt and now you're so very, horribly, terribly broken. You're not a charity case, you lived through something awful, you're a damn fighter, you just need to learn new ways of thinking not to have some break down where you admit you're destroyed and incredibly messed up and unfixable. That kind of therapy doesn't help very many people and usually just makes them feel more miserable and depressed!
Some parents might have an issue with that, but there are plenty that wouldn't. When I was 15 or 16 (though I'd had "the talk" long before that) my mother checked in with me and asked if I wanted to go on the pill or needed her to buy me condoms. If I ever have children, I plan to not even ask once they get to a certain age, I'll just leave condoms for them so they don't have to feel embarassed.
The parents who try to pretend their teenager isn't a sexual being have obviously forgotten what it was like to be a teenager themselves.
Maybe if NOPE just asks to see a psychiatrist, NOPE could then bring up the issue at the first session, and the psychiatrist could refer her to a particular therapist without necessarily explaining to the parents that that particular therapist is sex-positive and experienced with sex therapy.
That's what I was thinking. I know I was fairly well written as a teen (moreso than I am now as I wrote constantly back then)and knew a lot of other people my age who were as well.
I actually scrolled back up and reread the letter, because I didn't remember thinking anything in particular about how well written it was, and, while I don't think it was poorly written at all, I don't think there was anything that stood out to me to say, "Wow, she's so articulate." She used proper grammar and spelling, so there's that. The only thing I could say I found a little odd was her use of the word "vile", but I chalked that up to the supposition that there is a different vernacular in Australia, and maybe that word is used more there.
Skipper Jo.
You know, some parents will say no.
I found nothing out of step whatsoever with that letter.
It's not THAT unusual for a 17-year old to be able to speak in a detached, intellectual manner about their trauma, especially if they took an interest in psychology before they hit double digits and have been poring over university psych textbooks since 14. (It happens, trust me) There is such a thing as intelligent human beings.
Don't mistake the ability to talk insightfully about ones problems for the ability to maturely deal with those problems. They are VERY different skills.
It is possible that Dan changed some of the personal details in order to protect the identity of a very vulnerable young person. If so then I think it would have helped all of us if he stated this in order to give himself more credibility.
And as I stated at the end of my original post, check out #14, "Please correct me as I'd rather be much maligned than lose faith in Dan Savage and humanity." So thanks for the maligning part, but my faith in humanity has yet to be restored and I honestly look forward for this "restoration"
Just sayin'
My parents and I are now in a position where - because I wasn't very communicative all those years ago about what kind of help I needed and wasn't very insistent about getting it, and my parents didn't pick up the slack - I continue to have some of the same issues I had as a kid. Meanwhile my parents seem to feel a bit guilty and defensive about the fact that they weren't more diligent in pursuing psychological treatment for me. Now I'm an adult with my own health insurance, and I can get treatment for myself - with emotional support from my parents, who know better now. Don't wait as long as I did to tell your parents what you need. There's no benefit in holding back, for them or for you.
Also, this may not be useful for NOPE, as she's in Australia, but people in the US or Canada may have better luck looking for specifically kink-friendly therapists in the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom's Kink-Aware Professionals listing: https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aw…
I'm also happily married, and have yet to harm anyone in my pursuit of pleasure - as a matter of fact, I've made a whole bunch of people happy.
See, what worked for me was finding porn with a more engaging narrative - when I'm emotionally invested in a character, reading a simple spanking session about them has the same effect on me as reading something far more extreme happening to a character who's just there for filler.
And I found that putting my own fantasies to paper not only helped me create sure-fire masturbation fodder, it also made a lot of other people with similar interests happy, and they made me realize I'm not alone.
So, yeah, I need to focus and fantasize hardcore to get off. So? My partner is happy to help me get off (essentially by holding and fingering me as I masturbate), and I do focus on him during other parts of sex. Needing extreme fantasies to get off has not made cuddling, making out, or even full out intercourse any less fun.
Seconding the recommendation to see a therapist - not because your kinks are wrong, but to help you feel more at peace about them.
Hang in there, kid. You're going to turn out fine.
(I may just be a prude, but I'm uncomfortable advocating illegal acts to a minor, even one as mindful as NOPE seems to be.)
17 is not too young to be fluent in one's native language.
Pointing out the obvious, but Australians are native English speakers. Unlike "Argentinian/Syrian/German/Congolese".
You took geography classes in the US, didn't ya ? I took some too. It's where I learned that the Baltic countries were on the shores of the Aral Sea. Coach was good at geography.
From an older survivor of incest : I experimented something like you're describing at your age, when I had also been out of harm's way for some years.
I had a hard time sleeping because of the vivid and totally disgusting things my mind was up too. It was very painful to live with, the more so because I couldn't talk about it, since what had happened to me was not out. I had only disturbing memories and even more disturbing dreams to turn to. That turned to self-hatred...
Some twenty years and a failed marriage later (I married a verbally abusive man who lavished attention and kindness on me, until I was pregnant and could not/would not escape the situation, for "my child came before myself"), and thankfully psychological help after that - I have eventually come to enjoy a pretty nice sexuality. With numerous orgasms during mostly vanilla partnered sex (I both love and dread having my toes licked).
So, there's hope, even without help right away. But to make that happen before you're well into your thirties, you're going to need to talk about it with a psychiatrist. So my advice for you would be three-fold :
- see a psychiatrist already, a sex-positive one, as Dan advised ;
- accept your brain's way of getting off as maybe not in the best taste ever, but as nothing earth-shattering either. It's not a window into whom you're going to grow up. It's a testimony on how confusing this whole sex matter is to you right now ;
- no partnered sex until you've resolved your issues and feel confident in being a great human, deserving of care and respect. You don't need to be revictimized in letting assholes into your life ; and you won't be able to recognize assholery until your inner self is damn sure you deserve respect.
It's most important : you have to cut yourself some slack and be good to yourself in order to heal faster. You may think from your imaginations (as I did) that you are broken or soiled or a risk to others, a future abuser, a future criminal - but you're not.
Having this kind of thoughts invade your mind only means that your brain has started to process what has happened to you, and is trying to make some sense out of it. Sure you need help for that, but this brain activity is a normal part of healing from childhood sexual abuse.
You experimented the worst violence one can endure without dying - your brain got hurt bad (I hope not your body, although bodies do heal amazingly well). And, unfortunately, there's this link between all that trauma and sex ; and sex is something your brain is programmed to obsess about right now, as you're maturing into adulthood. So, it's a very confusing time for your brain.
Be kind to yourself and allow your brain its fantasies. Don't pass too harsh jugements on what your brain is currently needing to get off - it's only temporary, and what's in your mind can hurt no one but you. Right now your brain is not representing you, nor your core values, nor your future sexuality. But your brain needs help and understanding. And it also needs you to get off. So please, please yourself, and don't feel guilty about it, because it wants you to conjure up horrible ideas in order to do so.
You're not responsible of your thoughts. You're responsible of your acts. And survivors who distanciate themselves from their thoughts (as you both are already doing, calling them "vile" or "horrible") are a lot less at risk from ever becoming abusers than the never-abused population.
So do get help, but reassure yourself. Bad thoughts will calm down a lot in the next few years. And you'll learn to live well despite them. They'll end up being a minor encumbrance in your lives, resurfacing when your brain is confused about one thing or another - but knowing where they come from takes away most of the nuisance.
And be kind to male survivors, if you ever meet some. It's even harder for them to come forward and seek help.
My love to all of you out there...
Now call me a cynical asshole, which I may very well may be for many different reasons, but I have a problem with a 17 Y.O. abused Australian/Argentinian/Syrian/German/Congolese girl who can write such an articulate, absolutely-heart-wrenching/ thoughtful/ sensitive/ etc. etc. detailed account to a trans-atlantic/pacific on-line sex/relationship advisor.
Same goes for a gay sibling who will actually send some self nude pictures to his "kinky brother".
Now make no mistakes, I voted for R-74 as well as 502, the Dan Savage home state measures for same sex marriage and legalizing marijuana, yet I see today's chosen letters as "sensational" for the sake of increased ratings and/or shock value. And I suspect they may be also fake to begin with.
Please correct me as I'd rather be much maligned than lose faith in Dan Savage and humanity.
May you both find peace of mind.
The other biggie would be to look into another powerful medicine, Ayahuasca, as it has enormous potential for healing trauma (amongst other benefits) Just be advised to do your proper due diligence and if you conclude it is for you, seek out a reputable guide. With the explosion in popularity in recent years, there would likely be regular ceremonies in NOPE's region.
Either way, @2 and @3 are among the best comments I've ever seen on the Stranger. No way I or anyone else can top that. (Unless Krugman puts "first" someday in the comments on one of his own NYT op-eds. Now that would be fun.)
Finished the book, huh? Nothing to do but troll your own threads then...
This desire you have for extremeness isn't necessarily indicative of anything weird in you at all, just general teenaged messed-upness. Even if it does end up being a life-long kink, it doesn't mean you're bad, just that you're kinky. So chill out and forgive yourself for thinking bad thoughts.
And you don't have to date or have sex or want to have sex at this age, no matter what your peers are doing. Not being attracted to the teenage boys around you probably just means that you're a bit more mature than they are.
I never thought it would happen to me, but [see letter 2].


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Grand Rounds from the EMS Blogosphere: August 2010
An introduction to some popular EMS blogs
Here on Grand Rounds from the EMS Blogosphere you will get regular updates from many of the popular EMS blogs on the Web. If you're unfamiliar with what's out there, look no further. Here we will summarize some of the most popular blogs and their topics. Enjoy.
The Scam Heard 'Round the Web
Back in December, a big story hit the news regarding a recertification scandal involving EMS providers in Massachusetts. The investigation continued to grow and apparently the Department of Public Health uncovered some facts that led to the suspension or revocation of nearly 200 state licensed EMTs and paramedics. This became a popular topic among EMS bloggers. Chris (CKEMTP) Kaiser wrote about it on his blog Life Under the Lights, with a post titled Four Words. Chris is yet another EMS 2.0 supporter and Paramedicine 101 contributor who has become well known within the online EMS community. On Too Old To Work To Young To Retire, the author, simply known as TOTWTYTR, is a Northeastern paramedic who wrote about the scam in I'm not very sympathetic. TOTWTYTR is one of the original EMS bloggers who has gained one of the largest bases of readers out there. He was also one of the first to blog on this topic in multiple posts including: The Scandal Continues To Get Larger and Another Shoe Drops. In Some people who do not seem to be defended, Tim (Rogue Medic) Noonan provides some of his opinions on the story. Tim, as are the rest of the authors, is less than pleased with the character of the individuals who were involved. Personally I believe that this is a prime example of poor work ethics. The same people who cheat a system such as this are the same practitioners who will cut corners everywhere else. It is never a good thing to see our profession represented in this manner; unfortunately, it is the negative actions that make the bigger news releases.
Community Paramedic
Patrick Lickiss is an Alameda County (CA) paramedic who recently contacted me in hopes of promoting his blog 510 medic on Grand Rounds. When I clicked over there I noticed that he had written on the freshly popular topic of the community paramedic in his post urban community paramedicine. Read about what a community paramedic is in this article from the EMS Magazine archives. Patrick was inspired to write about this topic after watching a few episodes of A Seat at the Table, one of Justin (Happy Medic) Schorr's creations within The Chronicles of EMS. In episode 8 Justin and Mark Glencorse sit down with a few leaders who have started and/or ran community paramedic programs. This is a very interesting conversation that explains how the paramedic still has a role in the non-emergency environment. There is a preemptive strategy to this that is intended to provide education, limit 9-1-1 calls and decrease hospital transports. In my opinion, this is the right way to address a very big problem, and I would give a big two thumbs up to any system that is looking to implement such a program. All too often we simply complain about the problems--all too rarely we discuss solutions.
Man of Many Hats
Steve Whitehead is the author of a recently published article in EMS Magazine titled Sepsis Alert. He will be speaking on this topic in September at the EMS Expo. You may already know all of this, considering that you are an EMSresponder.com reader. What you may not know is that Steve is also a very well known EMS blogger. His site The EMT Spot is a well-constructed blog dedicated to the education of the EMT. On it, he also wrote about the Massachusettes recertification scandal that I mentioned above in his post 207 reasons to stay current on your continuing education. Steve is a great writer and I would recommend that you head over to his site and download his free online publications. If you are planning on attending the EXPO, I would encourage you to listen to him speak.
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Prep30 m
Cook40 m
Ready In1 h 10 m
"Ross fil-forn is a traditional Maltese dish. Serve it with Parmesan cheese and enjoy the Mediterranean flavors!"
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Adjust Servings
Original recipe yields 4 servings
- Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the ground beef, and cook, stirring to crumble, until evenly browned. Mix in the crushed tomatoes, chicken stock, and bay leaves. Simmer for 25 minutes over low heat.
- Meanwhile, place the rice into a saucepan with enough water to cover by one inch. Bring to a boil, and cook for about 10 minutes (halfway), then drain off water.
- Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
- Remove the bay leaves from the sauce, and mix in the half-cooked rice. Stir in the basil, mint, eggs, and mozzarella cheese; season with salt and pepper. Transfer to a greased baking dish. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese over the top.
- Bake for 40 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the rice is tender, and the liquid has been absorbed.
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Reviews (9)Rate This Recipe
Its a nice dish but I do it a little bit different.I use tomato sauce instead of crushed tomatoes.I dont use chicken stock,bayleaaf,basil,mint or mazorella cheese.I put one teaspoon of italian seasoning,4 slices of bacon,1 cup peas.This is a great dish and it could be also served at a room tempretaure
I thought this was pretty good! The fresh mint does not make it "minty" but it adds a nice depth of flavor. Mine came out with a lovely cheesy crust on top and a beautiful crunchy bottom layer as well. My hub thought it was a bit bland (which is weird because usually I'm the one who finds things bland, but not this time) but my 2 toddlers gobbled it up. I didn't know exactly what to do with the eggs (I beat them before adding them) and the recipe didn't say what to do with the basil and mint (I added them with the cheese and eggs, etc) but it seemed to work out just fine. I made it with ground chicken and would probably double the meat next time. I also made it with a can of diced tomatoes and I might like even more tomatoes next time. I appreciated not having to chop anything and I will definitely make this again!
This was kind of bland. I really didnt care for the mint. It tasted like I was chewing gum with my food.
Similar Recipes
Baked Mushroom Rice
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Amount Per Serving (4 total)
- Calories
- 730 cal
- 37%
- Fat
- 28 g
- 43%
- Carbs
- 82.7 g
- 27%
- Protein
- 34.8 g
- 70%
- Cholesterol
- 231 mg
- 77%
- Sodium
- 894 mg
- 36%
Based on a 2,000 calorie diet
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Baked Salmon with Tropical Rice
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For those who wanted to get dinner, and send local students on a trip of a lifetime, a spaghetti dinner at Benson High School was the ticket.
The Benson ROTC program has been raising money for a trip to Normandy to March in the 70th anniversary of D-Day parade.
Since the program found out, it's been working like crazy to raise funds.
To send 27 students to France, it's going to cost about $75,000.
Amazingly, the program has already raised around $55,000, but they haven't met their goal yet.
Wednesday night, they joined the Benson Culinary Arts program with a spaghetti dinner, to continue raising funds.
They dinner was free, but they accepted donations.
Colonel Michael DeBolt, of the Benson ROTC, says the opportunity is a big deal for students.
The ROTC students will continue fundraising in the months ahead.


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Bailey Alumni & Friends CenterÂ
If you'd like to reserve the Bailey Center for an event, contact Linda Martin at (501) 569-8387.
Download the Bailey Center room rates.
The Facility
The Bailey Center contains more than8,200 square feet. The following spaces are available for rent to campus and community groups for meetings, programs, and social functions.
Butler Heritage Hall
As you enter the center, the Butler Hall greets you with large display cases containing memorabilia and artifacts, providing an interesting backdrop for any reception.
Nelson Board Room
The formal boardroom contains a cherry table that will accommodate approximately 22 people. Black leather chairs and granite countertops make this room stately yet comfortable for meetings and seminars.
Worthen Library
Our library features a fireplace, four comfortable leather chairs, and floor-to-ceiling bookcases filled with books written by our faculty and alums, student ceramics, and UALR annuals from our earlier years.
Engel Alumni Hall
With its high wooden-beamed ceilings and panoramic view of the campus, the hall can accommodate a seated dinner for 60 people or a reception for 150. The baby grand piano gives you a convenient option for background music at your event.
Our large patio is the ideal place for a barbeque cookout, a casual gathering of close friends, or a reception before an award ceremony begins.
Effective August 1, 2010 UALR is a smoke-free campus. In compliance with the Clean Air on Campus Act of 2009 passed by the Arkansas General Assembly, this policy applies to all locations of the University. These areas include the main campus, University Plaza, the William H. Bowen School of Law, and the UALR Benton Center. Perosns who fail to comply are subject to disciplinary action.
For more information, call 569-3188 or go to ualr.edu/smokefree.


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Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions. Birmingham Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families here in Birmingham.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, the last film in the seven-book and eight-movie saga starring everyone's favorite young wizard, at the . I, there's sure to be a large and enthusiastic turnout. With school out, many area young people don't need to worry about getting up early the next morning, but how young is too young?
Are midnight premieres inappropriate for younger kids? When is the best time to take your Potter-loving 10-year-old to see the film — at midnight with hundreds of adults and teenagers, or later during the weekend?


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Jujitsu Bear Den
the inside trip
By The Jujitsu Bears rhyme with tips... about an awesome move
The Inside Trip
A Rhyming lesson about the concept of combination taken from Japanese Jujitsu and Judo. A friendly martial arts lesson taught by rhyming bears. Including lesson about respect and manners. Perfect for reading to young martial artists.
About the Author
Publish Date September 14, 2011
Dimensions Small Square 20 pgs
Standard Paper
Category Children
Tags childrens jujitsu, martial arts, ouchi gari, inside trip, michael pietro, jujitsu, childrens, judo, ogoshi, lesson, techniques
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It's #52lists time! This week's list is Great Things I've Read Lately. It's not the best reads of all time (although some of them could be!) Rather it's where I'm up to now!
Empty Cradles by Margaret Humphreys - the film Oranges and Sunshine is based on Margaret's amazing, sad book. This is an important story.
I Capture The Castle - we read this for our book club and I loved it so much.
Loobylu and Hugo & Elsa - some favourite reads at the moment.
The Guardian : love it, esp the foodie bits
The NY Times: I paid for a subscription because I read it lots and I love to see what Bill Cunningham's up to.
Little Women - because it warms the cockles of my heart and they say things like 'kit' instead of kitten.
Sincerely - because it's full of great stories and I was lucky enough to have one of mine included too!
What Remains - by a real housewife. VERY well written and such a great glimpse into the Kennedy family.
The Glass Castle - a bio written with such tenacity and positivity. I loved this book
What are you reading?
xx Pip
The lists so far:
01 : Suburbs I Have Lived In
02 : Jobs I Have Had
03 : Favourite Childhood TV Shows (Guest List by Evie)
04 : Favourite Smells
05 : The Best Snacks
06 : Things I Do Every Day
07 : Some Of My (Favourite) Flowers (Guest List by Gemma)
++: Bonus mini list : Messy Things I Like
++: Bonus mini list : Nice Sauces and Condiments
08: Great Things I've Read Lately
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Search for Courses
Las Vegas, Arizona, California, Florida, Hawaii, Chicago, Denver, DC, Oklahoma, Oregon, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, Wisconsin and more!
Blackford Country Club
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SAGINAW, Texas —
North Texas police are trying to determine who set fire to a makeshift memorial for a 6-year-old girl found dead earlier this month and also torched a car owned by the girl's family.
Police in Saginaw, north of Fort Worth, say firefighters responded to the scene early Friday morning. The car was parked in the driveway of the home and the memorial for Alanna Gallagher, consisting primarily of stuffed animals, was in the front yard.
Authorities are investigating whether there's a link between the fires and the July 1 death of the girl.
Two teenagers discovered the girl's nude body wrapped in tarp on a Saginaw residential street. No suspect has been named in the killing.
The FBI has been assisting in the investigation and is offering a $10,000 reward.
Top Stories
Memorial to slain North Texas girl set on fire
SAGINAW, Texas —
North Texas police are trying to determine who set fire to a makeshift memorial for a 6-year-old girl found dead earlier this month and also torched a car owned by the girl's family.
- Top Stories
Lifelong Struggles Facing TX Foster Kids Who Age Out
Hundreds of children have already gotten their Christmas wish this year: finding a forever home.
Obama says 1 million signed up for health care
His health care plan facing a dicey transition, President Barack Obama said Friday that insurance sign-ups are surging now that the government's website is working better for consumers.
Southern Great Plains Dairy Consortium offers education on large herd dairies
How can future dairy producers improve the dairy industry?
Texas inmate set to die for '91 abduction, slaying
An abusive childhood led Jamie McCoskey to a juvenile offense record that kept escalating as he reached adulthood.
Stocks edge higher on Wall Street; Dow at record
The Dow Jones industrial average held at a record high on Wall Street Monday.
Authorities: 2 charged in Texas party shootings
Two suspects have been charged in connection with a shooting at a house party in suburban Houston that left two teenagers dead and injured 19 others, authorities announced Monday.
Houston schools cancel activities due to weather
Houston's school district has cancelled afterschool activities as inches of rain fell on the city hours before Halloween trick-or-treating was set to begin.
Iraqi PM: Terror 'got a second chance' in Iraq
Terrorists "found a second chance" to thrive in Iraq, the nation's prime minister said Thursday in asking for new U.S. aid to beat back a bloody insurgency that has been fueled by the neighboring Syrian civil war and the departure of American troops from Iraq two years ago.
Alamo will not go under UN control
Despite spectacular and erroneous reports to the contrary, the Alamo is not being turned over to the United Nations — or anyone else for that matter.
New seats let airlines squeeze in more passengers
It's not your imagination. There really is a tighter squeeze on many planes these days.
- More Top Stories Headlines
- Lifelong Struggles Facing TX Foster Kids Who Age Out


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In spring 2002 — a year before the American invasion of Iraq — the Middle East was ablaze. As The New York Times described it at the time, Israeli tanks were "ripping through every West Bank city," Palestinian gunmen were "barricaded in the Church of the Nativity," Lebanese radicals were shooting into northern Israel and preventing civilians from stepping outside. The whole region was "under an intolerable siege of violence."
President Bush until then had taken a hands-off approach. But he faced mounting pressure from Arabs, Europeans and Israelis to act. On April 5 and June 24, 2002, he delivered a pair of speeches that became known as the Bush Road Map for peace.
Read a full analysis of how the speeches have (and have not) lived up to their promise.
Read the full text of the second speech here. The full text of the first speech is below:
The White House Rose Garden, April 4, 2002
11 a.m.
President Bush: Good morning. During the course of one week, the situation in the Middle East has deteriorated dramatically. Last Wednesday, my Special Envoy, Anthony Zinni, reported to me that we were on the verge of a cease-fire agreement that would have spared Palestinian and Israeli lives.
That hope fell away when a terrorist attacked a group of innocent people in a Netanya hotel, killing many men and women in what is a mounting toll of terror.
In the days since, the world has watched with growing concern the horror of bombings and burials and the stark picture of tanks in the street. Across the world, people are grieving for Israelis and Palestinians who have lost their lives.
When an 18-year-old Palestinian girl is induced to blow herself up, and in the process kills a 17-year-old Israeli girl, the future, itself, is dying -- the future of the Palestinian people and the future of the Israeli people. We mourn the dead, and we mourn the damage done to the hope of peace, the hope of Israel's and the Israelis' desire for a Jewish state at peace with its neighbors; the hope of the Palestinian people to build their own independent state.
Terror must be stopped. No nation can negotiate with terrorists. For there is no way to make peace with those whose only goal is death.
This could be a hopeful moment in the Middle East. The proposal of Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, supported by the Arab League, has put a number of countries in the Arab world closer than ever to recognizing Israel's right to exist. The United States is on record supporting the legitimate aspirations of the Palestinian people for a Palestinian state.
Israel has recognized the goal of a Palestinian state. The outlines of a just settlement are clear: two states, Israel and Palestine, living side by side, in peace and security.
This can be a time for hope. But it calls for leadership, not for terror. Since September the 11th, I've delivered this message: everyone must choose; you're either with the civilized world, or you're with the terrorists. All in the Middle East also must choose and must move decisively in word and deed against terrorist acts.
The Chairman of the Palestinian Authority has not consistently opposed or confronted terrorists. At Oslo and elsewhere, Chairman Arafat renounced terror as an instrument of his cause, and he agreed to control it. He's not done so.
The situation in which he finds himself today is largely of his own making. He's missed his opportunities, and thereby betrayed the hopes of the people he's supposed to lead. Given his failure, the Israeli government feels it must strike at terrorist networks that are killing its citizens.
Yet, Israel must understand that its response to these recent attacks is only a temporary measure. All parties have their own responsibilities. And all parties owe it to their own people to act.
We all know today's situation runs the risk of aggravating long-term bitterness and undermining relationships that are critical to any hope of peace. I call on the Palestinian people, the Palestinian Authority and our friends in the Arab world to join us in delivering a clear message to terrorists: blowing yourself up does not help the Palestinian cause. To the contrary, suicide bombing missions could well blow up the best and only hope for a Palestinian state.
All states must keep their promise, made in a vote in the United Nations to actively oppose terror in all its forms. No nation can pick and choose its terrorist friends. I call on the Palestinian Authority and all governments in the region to do everything in their power to stop terrorist activities, to disrupt terrorist financing, and to stop inciting violence by glorifying terror in state-owned media, or telling suicide bombers they are martyrs. They're not martyrs. They're murderers. And they undermine the cause of the Palestinian people.
Those governments, like Iraq, that reward parents for the sacrifice of their children are guilty of soliciting murder of the worst kind. All who care about the Palestinian people should join in condemning and acting against groups like Al-Aqsa, Hezbollah, Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and all groups which opposed the peace process and seek the destruction of Israel.


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Properly Attach and Remove Spitshot From Your Leader.
Often the difference between success and failure when nymphing is to have the right amount of split shot on your line. If you are using lead shot it is very important that you recycle and reuse your lead spit shot. This is easy to do if it is properly applied to the line in the first place.
Most people use hemostats or pliers to attach the split shot. That is OK as long as you do not crush or distort the shot. If you do that it will slip and you cannot get it off. I always put a knot below the shot so it will not slip.
You might be surprised how easy it is to attach the shot by simply squeezing the shot onto the leader using your fingers.
To get the shot off, simply place your fingernails on each side of the split and open it up and put in back in the container to use again.


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This course is offered on a full fee paying basis to eligible domestic students. Fees are established per unit and can be found in the unit descriptions within the course schedule. Click on 'View fees for this unit' and select 'Tuition fee (domestic) Post 2008' as the fee type.
International students please refer to International Services at
This course is currently only available part time.
The Graduate Certificate aims to offer a chance to develop or upgrade skills in corporate governance. Specifically the course intends to identify challenges for company directors and managers in corporate governance, and develop critically evaluative skills as corporate governance evolves. The units will be offered using flexible learning methods and will embrace general corporate governance concerns in the evaluation of specific areas such as accountability, risk, sustainability and the regulatory environment. The intention is to provide graduates with the skills required to approach corporate governance issues in their work environments. These units will be taught by qualified staff with the appropriate knowledge and skills in each area. Delivery will incorporate educational technology in a flexible platform allowing students to undertake the course at their own pace, and in their own time and environment. Units may also incorporate optional face to face discussion seminars. All assessment will be continuous including the delivery of electronic assignments, and in some units, preparation of an online presentation.
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This group meets on the third Wednesday of every month to discuss the following books during 2012;
Jan. 18: Collider by Tom Schuett
Feb. 15: Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel
Mar. 21: Love and Other Impossible Pursuits by Ayelet Waldman
Apr. 18: Founding Mothers: The Women Who Raised Our Nation by Cokie Roberts
May 16: The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery
June 20: The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
July 18: Please Look After Mom by Kyung-sook Shin
Aug. 15: The Black Dahlia by James Elroy
Sept. 19: Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
Oct. 17: State of Wonder by Ann Patchett
Nov. 21: Book Selection Meeting for 2013
Please call Linda at (612) 708-1476 with any questions.


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Commemorating the 100 year anniversary of the sinking of Titanic, the had a week filled with reading and searching for the lost ship, including a scavenger hunt, children's book readings, and decorating the childrens' desk like the ship.
Here are titles for all ages to check out at the today in honor of the Titanic anniversary.
Top Choice for adults: A Night to Remember, by Walter Lord
Librarians from each department agree the famed A Night to Remember is the most popular and best account of the sinking of Titanic. This detailed account from the first ports of call to the hours waiting for the Carpathia is a top choice.
Voyagers of the Titanic, by Richard Davenport-Hines
A look at the lives of passengers, crew members, and shipbuilders.
Titanic Tragedy, by Andrew Wilson
A new take on the sinking.
Shadow of the Titanic, by Andrew Wilson
Stories from survivors.
How to Survive the Titanic, by Frances Wilson
The story of Bruce Ismay and his involvement in the life and death of Titanic.
The Titanic Disaster, by Peter Benoit
101 things you thought you knew about the Titanic -- but didn't!, by Tim Maltin and Eloise Aston.
Top choice for kids: Polar the Titanic Bear, by Daisy Spedden
This true story of a boy and his toy bear who survived the sinking of Titanic, was a top choice for the library and was read to eager listeners this week.
Ghosts of the Titanic, by Julie Lawson
Can You Survive the Titanic?, by Allison Lassieur
Titanic: Voices from the Disaster, by Frieda Wishinsky
Titanic Sinks!, by Barry Denenberg
The Watch that Ends the Night: Voices from the Titanic, by Allan Wolf


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Ada —
Services for Curtis Hogue, 81, of Ada are at 10:30 a.m. Wednesday at the First Free Will Baptist Church. The Revs. David Sutton and Ryan Humble will officiate. Burial will follow at Cedar Grove Cemetery near Francis.
Mr. Hogue died Sunday, March 17, 2013, at his home.
He was born April 16, 1931, at Roff to C. T. and Bessie Lamb Hogue. He attended Steedman and Byng grade school and graduated from Byng High School. He attended Hillsdale Bible College in Moore.
He married Vivian Jones on June 17, 1950.
Mr. Hogue pastored Free Will Baptist Churches for many years. He operated a Christian bookstore for 10 years and formerly owned and operated Yard Ornaments, Etc.
Mr. Hogue was a longtime active member of the First Free Will Baptist Church in Ada, where he taught Sunday school class for over 50 years.
Survivors include his wife, Vivian Hogue, of the home; one daughter, Cathy Polzien and her husband, Jeff, of Oklahoma City; five grandchildren, Melanie Floyd, Meredith Hogue, Charlie Hogue, Caitlin Silver and her husband, Randy, and Allison Polzien; and two sisters, Alyene Pierot of Tulsa and Pauline Nickell of Ada.
He was preceded in death by his parents; two sons, Ronny Hogue and Scotty Hogue; and three brothers, Thomas Hogue, Warren Hogue and Willie Hogue.
Bearers will be Kim Ruhl, Roy Nolen, Don Kerr, Jeff Polzien,Harvey Hogue and James Presley.
Obituaries may be viewed and online condolences sent to criswellfh.com.


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Tag Archives: Progressive ads
Reclaiming the Story
Like about 5 million of you, I got asked by MoveOn for my feedback about the direction of the country and the direction that MoveOn should take. The request was this: I'd love to hear what you're thinking right now. … Continue reading
Flo vs. Purple Sports Drinks
I've been thinking about great ads lately. There are plenty of examples of beautiful, powerful and even emotional messages. Gatorade and Nike ads fall into this category — they tend to be moving and evocative, highly stylized messages. But I … Continue reading
Posted in Blog posts Tagged advertising, Aflac, Bartles and Jaymes, commercials, Flo, Gatorade, Nike, Progressive ads 1 Comment


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In many ways Braintree has a split relationship with the Monatiquot River.
Over the decades, residents have grown to rely less on the water for daily uses and industrial applications. Instead it primarily provides a visual and recreational benefit, although there is limited public access to the river.
Yet the Monatiquot can have a profound impact on Braintree, as happened last year when flooding devastated wide swaths of the town, soaking houses and businesses, even delaying significantly spring play at the .
This duality was presented in a Monatiquot River Watershed Study completed a little more than a month ago by local officials and UMass students. In the study, the students focused on steps toward developing stormwater management strategies and improving water quality. They also looked at ways to increase accessibility.
"There will be reconnections for the community to the Monatiquot River and establishment of long term stewardship," the study's Vision Statement says. "These results will reinstate the historic role of the Monatiquor River as a central asset to the town and a pride to the residents of Braintree."
Parallel to the study, town officials, East Braintree residents, area engineers and landscape designers have been to allow residents to experience the river along the water from Allen Street to Smith Beach.
A preliminary plan produced by three firms shows a proposed path combining with existing walkways to provide walking areas for residents through East Braintree/Weymouth Landing, down Commercial Street, along the river paralleling Allen Street, back to the street to go around the yacht club and reconnecting at Watson Park and heading out to Smith Beach.
to send a letter asking the National Park Service for technical assistance with the project. Officials are also asking that residents send letters of support. The deadline for those requests is tomorrow, July 15.
More info on the project and how to participate can be found here: http://www.townofbraintreegov.org/ItemsofInterest-economic.htm. Residents can also email planning director Christine Stickney, who can help send a letter: firstname.lastname@example.com.
The 4.9-mile Monatiquot River flows from the intersection of the Farm and Cochato rivers at the golf course east to the Fore River. A number of factors have led to the area being flood-prone, according to the study, including development on the flood plain and increasing population levels that have led to more impervious surfaces and a larger strain on flood control infrastructure.
Some of the objectives to help combat the risk of flooding include: strengthening collaboration among municipalities and stakeholders within the watershed region; developing watershed‐wide outreach and education programs for residents and stakeholders; minimizing erosion; and reducing impervious surfaces.
The study's writers also said controlling pollution and connecting "existing and proposed greenways and trails in [the] subwatershed to the larger system in eastern Massachusetts" were main objectives.
"By way of re‐evaluating water quality improvements, stormwater management strategies, and river access proposals Braintree can re‐invent the relationship between the residents and their environment," the study says. "This re‐evaluation requires town‐wide investment, both financially and sentimentally. ... No single solution will solve the complex issues of a watershed system."
The full study can be found here: http://www.townofbraintreegov.org/News.aspx?235.


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Legasista is a dungeon crawler-style survival action RPG. Extra dungeons that give you better loot are randomly generated and players are able to fully customize their characters, including job classes and equipment. They can also alter their appearance by importing images from their PlayStation 3 data storage. The game will automatically convert the images into playable characters.
Legasista is a Role-Playing/Isometric RPG video game for PlayStation 3 developed by System Prisma and published by NIS America on August 21, 2012. It's rated Teen by the ESRB and no users have rated it yet.
Our newest cheats for Legasista were added August 22, 2012.
If you were looking for Legasista for PS3 cheats, then you might also want cheats for:


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See a live broadcast of Garrison Keillor's A Prairie Home Companion! It's Saturday, April 27, at 4:45pm at the City Bank Auditorium.
Ticket prices: $30, $40, $50Student price: $15 (limit 2 per student ID)Tickets go on public sale Friday, March 1, at 10:00am CT
Tickets available at:
"Oblivion," the summer blockbuster vehicle for Tom Cruise wants to be so much more than it actually is. Do you remember in Jr. High that kid who wanted so badly to hang with the cool kids, though he just wasn't quite cool enough? He wasn't that great at sports, conversation, or girl chasing but he still longed for the letter jacket of popularity? Craig was his name at my Jr. High and he could have gotten by on his laurels but lucky enough for him his parents were loaded and so he bought his friends.
"You guys want to go to McDonalds?"
I'm Paul Hunton and this is 24 frames on 89.1 fm. It's pledge time here on 89.1 and I wanted to take the time to talk to you a little about what that means.


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Due to the addition of hours at the SRC, we currently do not plan to open the Seelye Weight Room for open recreation during the Spring 2013 semester. If you club sports team would like to rent the weight room for your workouts, contact Patty Evans at (269) 387-3805.
The Seelye Center weight room offers additional workout space for those that are looking for additional areas to workout if the SRC weight room is too busy. It is operated by University Recreation during specified hours during every spring semester. It offers additional benches, ab balls, medicine balls, dumbbells and more. Please note: You must bring a change of shoes with you to work out in the Seelye Weight Room. Patrons with wet or snowy shoes will not be allowed to work out.


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Christopher Cox, the embattled chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, is defending his restrained approach to the financial crisis, saying he has provided steady leadership as Wall Street's main regulator at a time when other federal regulators have responded precipitously to upheaval in the markets.
During his tenure, the SEC has watched as all the investment banks it oversaw collapsed, were swallowed up or exited their traditional line of business. The agency, meanwhile, was on the sidelines while the Treasury Department and Federal Reserve worked to bail out the financial sector. And the SEC, by its own admission, failed to detect an alleged $50-billion fraud by Bernard L. Madoff that may be the largest Ponzi scheme in history.


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Mother and Aunt Arrested
Published January 18th, 2012
Loading Video...
Two women, the mother and aunt of 5 year old Javarian Wallace were arrested Wednesday after medical reports say the child was beaten to death. TV 20 spoke to family members who are still looking for answers. For more info, check out the video at the right.
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- Annual Mother's Day Concert
- Happy Mother's Day!


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Anthony M. Kay
Jul 10, 2014
Paul Grace
Jun 26, 2014
Eddie Cepeda
Jun 20, 2014
Marsalis Johnson
Jun 11, 2014
Home » News » Crime
Nashua road rage verdict set aside
Judge Jacalyn A. Colburn set aside second-degree assault and reckless conduct jury verdicts against Cody Eller, 20, in a highly unusual case because prosecutors failed to tell his lawyer until days after Eller was convicted that Pelham Police Officer Eugene Stahl "was on the Laurie list."
Eller's lawyer, Jeffrey Kaye, said he was pleased with Colburn's decision, but upset when told prosecutors plan to retry Eller of Windham in Hillsborough County Superior Court South in Nashua.
"If they do retry the case, they would be compounding a tragedy," Kaye said. "I would hope they would reconsider at some point."
Eller and his family have already spent all their savings defending him in the first trial, Kaye said.
But Assistant Hillsborough County Attorney Kent Smith said he will move forward, acknowledging his office made a mistake by not checking the Laurie list before trial and only discovering after conviction that Stahl's name is on it.
"We plan to retry the case because we think (Eller) hurt (the injured motorcyclist) really badly," Smith said. "He had a severe leg injury and significant impediment."
Colburn's ruling is believed to be the first time a superior court judge has set aside a jury verdict because of a Laurie issue since the original 1995 state Supreme Court case State v. Laurie reversed a murder conviction because the defense wasn't told the lead investigator was dishonest. Top prosecutors in New Hampshire are required to maintain confidential Laurie lists, so named as a result of the ruling, that contain the names of law enforcement officers who have been disciplined for issues involving their credibility. The names and portions of their confidential personnel files could then be turned over to the defense for possible use in impeaching their testimony at trial.
An attorney general's memo in 2004 gave examples of potential Laurie issues as including police officers lying under oath, committing theft or fraud or engaging in other conduct that could affect their truthfulness. Colburn's ruling did not specify Stahl's potential Laurie issue, and his lawyer Catherine Costanzo, declined to do so as well.
She did say Stahl has "taken a reputational hit" as a result of the case. Colburn denied Stahl's motion to intervene in the case.
"He (Stahl) wants the public to know he understands that criminal defendants need these protections and police and prosecutors need to bend over backwards, but that means he has not had the opportunity to dispel the idea that what placed him on the Laurie list was some serious misconduct," Costanzo said.
On the contrary, Costanzo said, Stahl is proud of everything in his personnel file.
In her order dated April 15, Colburn cited the state constitution requiring prosecutors disclose evidence favorable to the accused where it is material to guilt or punishment in setting aside the verdicts.
"(The state) admits that it withheld favorable evidence by failing to disclose that officer Stahl was on the Laurie list, meaning there may be information in his confidential personnel file relevant to his credibility," Colburn wrote.
Colburn went on to say the state failed to prove that the undisclosed evidence would not have affected the verdict.
The convictions stemmed from a crash May 13, 2011 in which William Hawksley was driving a motorcycle south on Lowell Road in Pelham. Colburn's order said Officer Stahl testified that Eller told him at the scene that he intentionally hit Hawksley's motorcycle because he was trying to illegally pass him, which Eller denied.
Jurors found Eller not guilty of first-degree assault, the most serious charge.
Concord Attorney James Moir, who defended Carl Laurie in the murder of Lucien Fogg, said Colburn's ruling is very rare. "This is the first time I have ever heard of a failure to provide Laurie information resulting in a Superior Court judge setting aside a conviction and Laurie has been in effect for about 18 years," Moir said.
"I can only hope a decision such as this will underscore to prosecutors their responsibility to provide such important evidence to each defendant," Moir said.
Associate Attorney General Jane Young remembered a state Supreme Court case in which a potential Laurie issue was revealed after a drug conviction, but it didn't result in a new trial because the other evidence against the man was overwhelming.
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Community groups profit from race week
Ignoring Lyme: What are state, towns doing?
- Mass. Supreme Judicial Court has found upskirt photos taken on a subway aren't illegal. Should such voyeurism be a crime?
- Yes
- 83٪
- No
- 17٪
- Total Votes: 917