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{Race Recap} Prairie State Half Marathon 2014
It was a great weekend to race in Chicago! The big event, of course, was the Chicago Marathon yesterday. My cousin, Sammy, rocked that one–her first marathon! She finished in 3:41:41 (only about 6 minutes away from qualifying for Boston!) I'm so impressed by her. 🙂 She was nice enough to come out to cheer for me during my race, the Prairie State Half Marathon, on Saturday.
This was my second time running the Prairie State Half so I was familiar with the course. I ran it two years ago as my second half marathon. Last year I didn't race at all because I was pregnant during fall racing season, so this race was always on my mind as a postpartum goal. This race was my big post-baby fitness goal. I didn't really start training until the beginning of July once I got my jogging stroller. That made it easier for me to get out for more runs because I could take baby with me (he was 6 months old when I started running with him). I followed a half marathon plan I found online that required me to run 5 days a week, but I was generally only able to do 4 runs a week because the days I go in to the office were tough to fit a run in. I also didn't get to go all the way up to the 12 mile long run because a 5k I did one Saturday made me skip the long run that week. Still, I knew I could finish the distance after doing my 11 mile long run a couple weeks ago. As much as the physical training is important for a big race like this, running really is mental too.
Race day came and I planned on getting up around 5:45 to have time to eat some breakfast, get ready, and maybe feed Jaylen if he woke up before leaving to catch the shuttle to the race site, but with a baby that still wakes up a few times in the middle of the night, I ended up turning off my alarm. Luckily I still woke up in time even if it was an hour later. That sure got the adrenaline going! It worked out though because Jaylen woke up and he and Gerald dropped me off and got to watch me start the race.
The weather was perfect for running. It was chilly to start, but I'm glad I didn't overdress because I definitely warmed up quickly. I felt great for the first 8 miles of the race and kept a fairly consistent pace. Then the exhaustion began to set in a little bit and I ended up taking a few walking breaks until the last mile, where I pushed through to the end (that ended up being my fastest mile). I was using my RunKeeper app to keep track of my miles and pacing, but it didn't quite match up with the mile markers on the course. According to RunKeeper I reached the mile markers slightly ahead of the course markers, but then somehow at mile 6, I reached the mile marker quite a bit after I passed that mile on the course. Not sure what happened there, but here are my splits according to RunKeeper:
Mile 1 – 9:30
Mile 2 – 9:31
Mile 3 – 9:38
Mile 4 – 9:54
Mile 5 – 9:32
Mile 6 – 9:53
Mile 7 – 9:33
Mile 8 – 9:52
Mile 9 – 10:12
Mile 10 – 11:03
Mile 11 – 10:31
Mile 12 – 10:39
Mile 13 – 9:29
My pace picked up a little bit between miles 6 and 7 because that was where a lot of the spectators (including Sammy and my Uncle Lary) were waiting to cheer us on as we ran by. They almost missed me the first time I ran by (this was right before the turnaround) so I had to wave them down. Encouragement really helps in these endurance races. In the last mile this man and woman ran past me. He was obviously pacing and helping her finish the race and he was so excited and yelling encouraging things to other runners that it helped me pick up my pace as I finished too even though he wasn't specifically encouraging me.
It felt so good to finish the race, and Gerald was right there at the finish line waiting for me (he had taken Jaylen to his parents' house). My official finish time was 2:09:35 (an average pace of 9:54). It's not a PR, but my goal was just to finish this time and I'm pleasantly surprised that I kept an average pace under 10 minute miles. On my training runs I always ran 10-11 minute miles. Almost exactly 10 months ago, I gave birth to Jaylen and now I finished a half marathon. So to me, that's quite an accomplishment!
I really love the half marathon distance because it's challenging, but doesn't seem as daunting to me as a marathon (plus I don't have time to train for a marathon…I know there are some moms who can do it, but right now I'm not one of them). This was my last race for the year, but with my race and with the marathon this past weekend, it makes me excited for the next one! 🙂
Advice I Would've Given Myself Before the Baby was Born
Posted by Christy in motherhood on October 2, 2014
I'm nearly ten months into this motherhood journey. I know I still have lots to learn and I wouldn't say I'm an expert in parenting an infant by any means (though how can you really be a parenting expert? All kids are different!). However, I have several friends who are expecting their first baby this year and as I think back to where I was a year ago (7 months pregnant), I keep thinking of advice or things I would've told myself back then as I was just enjoying the excitement and anticipation of being pregnant and preparing for birth. People always give unsolicited advice to new parents (and particularly new moms), so whoever may read this can take what they want from it, but more than just advice, I think it's just an honest reminder of the reality of motherhood (and parenting in general).
So what would I have told my pregnant self?
1. Babies have their own schedules, so go with the flow.
I felt this reality more as I waited anxiously for my due date to approach. Starting from 3 weeks before, I was constantly wondering when I would go into labor. I was born three weeks early so I didn't know if Baby J would follow my lead or if he'd be "late." Babies will come when they're ready and there's no sense in trying to rush it or in putting your life on hold in expectation. It's better for baby to stay inside longer (at least 39 weeks) since baby grows best inside his mother. I learned the most predictable thing about labor is it's unpredictable.
Once the baby's born, the baby's schedule seems to dictate your day (particularly if you're a new mom and only have one child to worry about). He eats, sleeps, eats, sleeps, eats, sleeps…all day long. It's best to just accept it for what it is and do what your baby needs. As Jaylen has gotten older, he does have a more predictable schedule, but even then there's variation. Sometimes he'll take long naps, sometimes he won't. Sometimes his nap schedule will get messed up or he'll end up having a later bedtime, but it's okay. {To further prove this point, I should mention that I started this blog post just before Jaylen turned 6 months old. I'm now publishing it when he's almost 10 months. PRIORITIES.}
2. Babies don't go by the book.
I was so excited for Jaylen to turn 6 months old so I could start giving him solid food. Part of me hoped this would help him sleep longer at night (which it does not necessarily help with that) and part of me just couldn't wait to see him try new things and be a little less dependent on me for food. I was looking into the baby-led weaning process for introducing solids and was anxious to offer Jaylen regular food so he could feed himself and eat with us at meal times.
Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to try baby-led weaning much because Jaylen wasn't that interested in solid food at 6 months! I would put food in front of him and he wouldn't even try to pick it up. Then I put a toy in front of him and it instantly goes into his mouth (go figure). So I ended up giving him baby cereal and purees (but not chunky ones because those would make him gag and throw up). Now he's great about feeding himself and loves food, but he still doesn't have any teeth yet so we're still waiting on those.
I've also learned that just because a website or a book says your baby should do something by a certain age (like sleep 4-5 hour stretches by the time he's 5 months…Jaylen would do 1.5-2 hours instead), doesn't mean your child will do it. Once you accept that each child is unique and will reach those milestones in his own time, your life will be so much easier. This leads into point #3.
3. Babies aren't meant to sleep through the night.
I know parents can have very strong opinions on this one, but after reading various articles about this topic (mostly because I still haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in nearly 10 months), I believe that babies are not meant to sleep through the night. They're supposed to wake up every couple hours to eat (especially when they're newborns). They may still even wake up once or twice even after 6 months. Yes, there are some lucky parents whose babies start to sleep through the night (however you want to define it–some say 5-6 hrs straight, others say 11-12 hrs straight) at an early age. My baby is not one of those. On average he still wakes up about 2-3 times a night (although last night he woke up once…yay!). I'm still waiting for that day when he'll sleep 11-12 hours straight at night. People have told us to let him cry it out, but we are not completely comfortable with that. This doesn't mean that we don't let him cry at all, but we just don't let him cry hysterically for long periods of time. I am also not completely willing to night wean him because he doesn't drink much milk during the day even when I nurse him so I think he may be reverse cycling. I'm concerned too about my milk supply, which seems to be dwindling (since I don't pump as much when I'm at work anymore) and the stash I once had in the freezer is now gone as of today. As tired as I am, I do cherish those night feedings (sometimes) when I look at my son in my arms. I love that bond I have with him. And when I think I can't take this phase anymore, I reread this KellyMom article and it reminds me that I'm still doing okay by doing what I think is best for my baby and me.
4. Don't forget to pursue your husband and your marriage.
This is probably the most important thing I would've told myself before having a baby. I admit I still need to do a better job of this. It's so easy as a mom, especially a new mom, to spend all your time and energy on the baby. When Jaylen was a newborn, it seemed like all I had time for was caring for him round the clock. Even now when Jaylen goes to sleep around 7 or 7:30, it's easy for me to feel like I'm too tired to do anything–including invest in some quality time with my husband. It's not a good excuse and a healthy marriage is one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children. So all you moms out there, no matter how tired or overwhelmed you are, make a commitment to try and love your husband well in spite of how you feel.
There are plenty of other things I'm still learning as a new mom. With Jaylen's one year birthday around the corner, I can tell those brand new moms that it does get easier (even if I'm still not sleeping well). So I know the stage I'm at with the sleepless nights will also get easier eventually. Then I know I'll probably be dealing with something else, but there's no greater joy than having Jaylen in my life. Sure, we may not stay out late anymore and right now our days may revolve around Jaylen's nap schedule, but we wouldn't trade it for the world. Life wouldn't be the same without seeing this smiling face. 🙂
Baby Boy Style
Posted by Christy in life, motherhood on September 10, 2014
Before I found out Jaylen was going to be a boy, part of me wanted to have a little girl so I could dress her up in adorable outfits. There are a TON more clothing options out there for baby girls, but there are some pretty stylish clothes out there for all those boy moms to dress up their little guys too. I like to dress my son (now nine months old) in clothes that make him look like a little man. Of course I dress him in more babyish clothes too since people have given me their hand-me-downs or bought me clothes for my baby showers, but if we're going out somewhere, sometimes I like to make him look a little more stylish.
Last weekend I realized Jaylen's six month clothes were getting a little snug on him, so I was excited for him to wear one of the new outfits I bought him months ago.
The weather was a little more fall-like, so Jaylen wore a chambray shirt and camo fleece sweatpants from Carter's. . The pants are still a little long on him since he's on the shorter side, so I had to roll them up a little bit. Daddy loved this outfit when he saw it.
It started to warm up before we left for church, so I changed his camo pants to camo shorts (from Kohl's). I've gotten other stylish boy clothes from consignment sales (you just really have to look through the racks to find good stuff) and H&M Kids. You can get cute clothes at fairly reasonable prices, which is great when your child is growing so quickly.
Want Jaylen's style for your baby boy (or your toddler)? It looks like Carter's doesn't sell this particular chambray shirt anymore, but I've linked similar products below:
Chambray Shirt (similar)
Camo Fleece Pull-On Pants (Carter's)
This is not a sponsored post.
Race Recap: Long Grove Heritage Run
This morning we had the perfect running weather (temps in the 50s and sunny). I've been running the Long Grove Heritage Run every year since 2009 (with the exception of last year because I was pregnant). It was my first running race ever so it holds a special place in my heart. This is a great local race where lots of charities participate. So when you register, you choose which charity you want to donate to and run (or walk) for. Afterwards they provide a free pancake breakfast for all the participants and this is the only race I know that does age group awards 5 deep…so that's why the first time I ran it I got an award! It was shocking, but this particular race sure helped to build my self esteem and confidence in running since I've won an age group award every time I've done it except for this year.
The last time I ran this race in 2011, I won my age group and was definitely a lot faster than I am right now. So I didn't go into today's race expecting to set any new personal records or to win an award. My main goal though was to push myself to run faster (trying to keep my pace between 8-9 minutes per mile) so I might have the potential to win an award (based off last year's results). I also haven't run that fast consistently for a longer duration since I started running regularly again postpartum.
I ran this race for the Mothers' Milk Bank of the Western Great Lakes. As a new nursing mom, I wanted to support an organization that works to provide breast milk for mothers and babies that need it. I know how challenging and rewarding breastfeeding can be so for babies and mothers who can't nurse for some reason, this is a great way for them to get the wonderful benefits of breast milk. I'm sure you can probably still make a donation on my fundraising page if you'd like to support this organization as well. I loved that they even had a little "nursing nook" in their tent. 🙂
Jaylen came with me to the race, but since strollers aren't allowed on the run, my mom walked with him in the 3k walk while I ran. It was actually nice to do a race without pushing the jogging stroller though. I started out near the front of the starting line and got off to a nice start. I was going a little fast (between 7-8 min/mile), but I felt pretty good. I knew I had to conserve energy though and tried to slow down a little bit. So here are my splits for the race:
Mile 1: 8:10
Mile 2: 8:37
Mile 3: 8:21
Mile 4: 6:27 (for the .1 part…I was pushing it at the end)
Average pace: 8:17
My RunKeeper app was a little off with the race's mile markers maybe because I started it a little early when I crossed the finish line. So according to the race results, I finished in 26:07 and 9th in my age group. I'm very happy with this result because I proved to myself that I can push myself to run faster longer. Lately on my runs I've just been so much slower (like 10-11 minute miles) so it's encouraging to me. There's definitely still more room for improvement and hopefully in the future I'll be able to set some new running personal records.
My next and last race for the year will hopefully be the Prairie State Half Marathon on October 11. I'm training for it and missed my long run today, but I'll just make it up next weekend and only end up going up to 11 miles as my longest run (which is what I did for my first half anyway and I was fine). No turkey trot this year since we'll be traveling for Thanksgiving. Happy fall racing season, everyone!
Grayslake 5k Race Recap
Posted by Christy in motherhood, running on July 14, 2014
On Saturday I completed my first postpartum race and my first race with my jogging stroller (the BOB Ironman). I didn't race at all last year when I was pregnant, so I was excited to get back into it. I didn't have to worry about setting an alarm for this race because Jaylen woke up on race morning at 6:30 a.m. The race was held in our local downtown area so Gerald and I planned on walking over (about a mile from our house). I also thought it would be a good warm up.
Saturday morning was rainy, but thankfully the rain cleared up before we headed out the door around 7:15. The rain held off until after the race, which was a blessing. We could've had a soaking baby otherwise!
My cousin was also running the race (and it happened to be her birthday) so we saw her briefly before the start and then she went up to the front because she's super fast. I had to start near the back anyway because I was running with the stroller. I know they do that so strollers don't get in the way, but it's a lot more challenging to pass people at the beginning of the race when you're running with a stroller. I was getting stuck behind people a little bit even though I tried to run on the side of the road to pass.
Eventually the pack thinned out. My Garmin watch wouldn't turn on even though I charged it up (I haven't used it in a while since for some reason it stopped uploading my runs to my computer…apparently it's messed up now). So I used my RunKeeper app and had my phone tucked into a pocket on the stroller. So I couldn't see what my pace or distance was. I know I started slowing down though as the race went on. I haven't run at that intensity for that long in a while.
Jaylen was great during the whole race. I'm impressed with how content he seemed staying in the stroller for so long. He sat quietly on our walk over to the starting line from home. Then I took him out for a few minutes before the race started. He was awake for the beginning part of the race but then fell asleep about halfway through. It was his nap time, after all. If you zoomed in to the photo at the top of this post you can see Jaylen knocked out in the stroller. Haha.
It was humid and I definitely had to keep pushing myself during the race, but I was trying to save some energy for the last stretch.
Once I turned the final corner and saw the finish line, I really dug deep and pushed toward that finish line (literally). There was another woman I'd been following during the race who got behind me at one point but then was now catching up, so I was just trying to beat her to the finish, which I did. She told me good job afterwards, but she was probably just impressed that I did that while pushing the stroller. Jaylen woke up right after we crossed the finish line. Apparently 5ks are exhausting! 🙂
My official finish time was 28:40. That's not close to any kind of personal record for me, but I'm pleased with it considering all my
runs lately (with and without the stroller) have been in the 10 or even 11 min/mile range. This run was my fastest stroller run to date. Not bad for running while pushing about 35 extra pounds in front of me (stroller + baby)!
My cousin Sammy won her age group (no surprise there!) and I actually placed 5th out of 18 in my age group, which isn't too bad, actually. This little race gave me a confidence boost knowing that I can only improve from here. I plan to do more 5ks in the next few months (both with and without the stroller) through the fall and I'd still like to do the Prairie State Half Marathon in October again, but I need to ramp up my training to be ready for that.
This was the perfect way to celebrate Jaylen's 7 month birthday. I'm glad we could finish our first race together–hopefully the first of many!
Door County Vacation + CMJ Reunion
Last week we spent a nice few days up in Door County with my family. This was Jaylen's first vacation and I was looking forward to seeing him experience new things and mostly to be able to spend over a week giving him my full attention without having to worry about work. Jaylen was good on the drive up there (about 4 hours) except for the beginning where he started screaming just as we got on the highway for a while before falling asleep.
We stayed in Ephraim, which is a nice little town. It's interesting too because it's a dry town so they don't sell alcohol there. You don't find many places like that these days. We took a trolley tour and also learned that Ephraim only allows buildings to be white but more recently allowed buildings to be painted off-white and gray.
Some of our highlights were the trolley tour, Nicolet Beach in Peninsula State Park (which Jaylen loved. He couldn't get enough of the sand), going out on the pontoon boat, the fish boil, and just enjoying some family time. Gerald, Jaylen and I even got out on our own one morning to visit Sister Bay for smoothies, coffee, and lunch.
Vacationing is definitely different with an infant. It's not as relaxing. Jaylen's sleep schedule was and still is all messed up. He somehow is usually still in a good mood despite not getting good naps and being overtired. The first morning in Door County Jaylen woke up at 6 am after going to bed around 10 pm. I can't say I was too excited about that, but he seemed pretty happy. I loved being able to see Jaylen experience new things and he got a ton of attention wherever we went. I think we'll definitely come back to Door County in the future.
We came home right before the 4th of July, which was good so we could beat the holiday crowds in Door County. My cousin Justine was visiting from Toronto so it was nice to be able to spend some time with her and for her to meet Jaylen for the first time.
Here are a few snapshots from our week!
Hope you all had a great holiday weekend!
My First Mother's Day
Posted by Christy in motherhood on May 11, 2014
Today is my first mother's day holding my baby in my arms. Last year I was in my first trimester and hadn't told anyone except our families that I was pregnant. It was like my little secret when they passed out Mother's Day gifts during church service. I've always appreciated my mom, but now that I'm a mother myself, I have gained a greater appreciation and understanding of a mother's love.
The other night as I held Jaylen before putting him to bed, I was overwhelmed by my love for him. I would do anything for him. I don't want to see him get hurt–physically or emotionally–ever (though realistically I know this won't ever happen…especially the part about not wanting a boy to get physically hurt). I hope I die before him because I never want to lose him. I would give my life for him. As much as he may frustrate me sometimes with his constant night wakings and his sometimes endless need to be held, I love my son. It's not because of anything he did; it's just because he's my son. How true that statement is about God's love for us too. He loves us not because of anything we've done–just because we're his children. (I heard that through a Visionary Parenting sermon we listened to last weekend).
So I realize how much it must hurt my parents when I'm hurting. They probably cheered when I learned how to roll over just like we did for Jaylen. And they probably welled up with pride (and a little sadness) when they saw me graduate from college and when I got a job. They sacrificed their time, energy, money, and desires for me just like I'm finding I need to do for my own child.
A mother's job is never done. I see how much my mom still shows her love for me in the ways she shows her love for her grandson.
We've never had to buy diapers yet (and Jaylen will be 5 months old tomorrow) because my mom buys them in bulk from Sam's Club before we run out. She provides babysitting and meals for us often. She encouraged me to stick through the tough parts of breastfeeding because she did it with my siblings and me and knows it's worth the effort. She takes Chloe, our pug, out for us and even lets her stay at her house for days at a time. She prays for me and my family. Even though she doesn't have to parent me anymore, my mom will always be my mother. Mom, I love you, and I'm continuing to learn from your example. Thank you for being my mom!
Now this Mother's Day is extra special because I have my own little boy. He may not call me "mom" yet, but I love being his favorite
person (probably mostly because I'm his food source). I love seeing his eyes follow me as I walk across the room and to see his face light up with a smile when he sees me (even on FaceTime). I love snuggling with him and when he falls asleep on my shoulder. I love knowing that I'm the only one who can really soothe him when he's super angry. I love seeing him master new skills and discover the world around him. It can be hard amid the sleepless nights, spit-up everywhere, messy house, and days where it seems like nothing really gets done, but I believe it will all be worth it. I pray that the result will be a respectful, godly young man who loves the Lord and lives to honor Him.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!
I leave you with a few great quotes from Surprised by Motherhood by Lisa-Jo Baker.
And this one is a plaque I saw and I just loved it. 🙂
5 Minutes for Mom – Ultimate Blog Party
Posted by Christy in life, motherhood on April 4, 2014
I originally learned about this Ultimate Blog Party #UBP14 because I was trying to submit some Tyndale books for review on 5 Minutes for Mom. Once I looked at all the amazing prizes being offered (including a little collection from Tyndale!), I wanted to join the party myself for the chance to win some of those great prizes! So for those of you who stumbled upon this blog from the Ultimate Blog Party, welcome! 🙂 My name is Christy and I'm a wife, new mom to a 15 week baby boy named Jaylen, a pug mom to Chloe, a book publicist at Tyndale House Publishers, and an active member at my church. I enjoy running, but am working to rebuild my base after not running nearly as much during and after pregnancy. I also love reading, music, and horseback riding.
On this blog, I write about my life–so that's anything from marriage, pugs, motherhood, faith, and running. There's a little youth ministry thrown in there too from my former days as a youth leader. Hope you enjoy it!
I'm excited to connect with other moms and "party-goers," so feel free to leave a comment or connect with me on Twitter!
My New Normal
Posted by Christy in life, motherhood on February 21, 2014
My little boy just turned 10 weeks old. That means I only have a couple weeks of maternity leave left. This time has gone by slowly (sometimes the days feel long when I'm at home all day and not doing much except caring for baby), but also too quickly. Jaylen had a rough morning at his 2 month doctor appointment by getting 3 shots and another vaccine to drink. It broke my heart to see him cry harder with each vaccine injection. 😦 But other than that, he had a great check-up and is perfectly healthy and growing well.
This week I took Jaylen to visit my co-workers at Tyndale and also to visit Gerald's class and his co-workers. We got stopped in the hall at his school every few feet by more teachers who wanted to ooh and ahh over the baby. That's what happens when you work in a female-dominated profession. People usually ask how we're doing and how he's sleeping. He sleeps about 3-4 hours in a row at night, sometimes less and sometimes more (though this only happened once so far). Apparently this is normal though for a breastfed baby according to the pediatrician. Somehow God made it so parents can function on very little sleep.
As for how we're doing, I say we're doing alright. We're adjusting to this new normal. A new normal that includes:
- Interrupted sleep
- Letting dirty dishes sit in the sink and household chores that don't get done
- Staring at Jaylen's adorable face all day (for me)
- Getting up hours ahead of time when preparing to go somewhere because it takes twice as long to get ready
- Lots of outfit changes for me and for baby because of spit up (or diaper blowouts)
- Doing laundry almost daily because of the spit up and blowouts
- Cars that feel a lot smaller because of all the baby gear
- Enjoying lots of smiles and cooing from our smiley 2 month old 🙂
- Getting peed on various times a day (the joys of baby boys)
- Speed-eating during meals or taking turns to eat
- More time with family (the grandparents mostly want to see the baby, not so much us ;-P)
- Naps with my newborn
- Looking in awe at this little person we created and being amazed at how awesome he is
A lot of these things seem negative, but they're really not that bad. I think of it as our badge of parenthood. We wouldn't be parents if we didn't get spit up on or peed on. It's definitely not easy being a new parent, but when we look at our little boy, we can't help but be filled with love and joy. I can't believe I've been given the privilege of being his mother. It's a huge responsibility as I think about how what we do now will shape him (in positive and negative ways) in the future. I pray he comes out alright. 🙂 I also love knowing that I'm the main person he depends on for nourishment and comfort right now. I hope that never changes!
So while I sometimes wish I was still pregnant (I actually got more sleep while pregnant) or that I had some of the freedoms I had when we didn't have Jaylen, I wouldn't trade life with him for anything. He is so precious and a true gift from God. This newborn stage can be hard, but apparently everyone forgets that and still goes on to have more kids. I know one day I'll look back and miss this, but for now I guess I'll try to enjoy all those late night nursing sessions and how my baby won't let us put him down to sleep sometimes. There will come a day when he'll be more independent and won't want to stay in my arms all the time. So I need to try to cherish all these mommy and son times while they last.
One Word for 2014
Posted by Christy in Uncategorized on January 1, 2014
Instead of New Year's Resolutions, I've chosen a word to focus on for 2014. My word for the year is intentional. Specifically, there are a few areas I want to be intentional in:
Marriage: I need to be more intentional in giving Gerald attention as my husband and in focusing on building our relationship, especially now that we have a son who demands much of our attention (mostly mine right now). I need to be intentional in the ways I talk to Gerald and to allow space for some spontaneity in our relationship.
Motherhood: I want to be intentional in spending time with Jaylen and in investing in his life. This is especially important when I go back to to work in March. I want to be present for my son when I'm not working.
Spiritual: I want to be intentional in spending time with God. It's challenging to do right now with a newborn, but the times that I do get to do a devotion, I want to be very intentional on making that time count.
Family: I'd like to be more intentional about connecting with my family, and specifically my siblings. We'll have to FaceTime Jaylen's Uncle Nathan more often so he can see how he's growing!
Time/Activities: If I want to be intentional about the things listed above, I may need to say no to certain activities or serving opportunities in order to invest my time in the relationships and things that I think matter most.
2013 was quite the eventful year for us. We faced marital challenges, buying a house, getting a dog, having a baby, etc. It was definitely one of the more challenging years of my life. So I'm glad to close the door on 2013 and I'm looking forward to what 2014 will bring.


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The unrivaled master of spy fiction returns with a taut and suspenseful of dirty money and dirtier politics.
For nearly half a century, John le Carre's limitless imagination has enthralled millions of readers, listeners, and moviegoers around the globe. From the cold war to the bitter fruits of colonialism to unrest in the Middle East, he has reinvented the spy novel again and again. As menacing and flawlessly paced as The Little Drummer Girl and as morally complex as The Constant Gardener, Our Kind of Traitor is signature le Carre.
Perry and Gail are idealistic and very much in love when they splurge on a tennis vacation at a posh beach resort in Antigua. But the charm begins to pall when a big-time Russian money launderer enlists their help to defect. In exchange for amnesty, Dima is ready to rat out his vory (Russian criminal brotherhood) compatriots and expose corruption throughout the so-called legitimate financial and political worlds. Soon, the guileless couple find themselves pawns in a deadly endgame whose outcome will be determined by the victor of the British Secret Service's ruthless internecine battles.
"Those readers who have found post–cold war le Carré too cerebral will have much to cheer about with this Russian mafia spy thriller…Le Carré ratchets up the tension step-by-step …His most accessible work in years, this novel shows once again why his name is the one to which all others in the field are compared." (Publishers Weekly, Starred Review)
"le Carré's signature stark prose, pitch-perfect dialogue, authentic characters, and moral indignation have stood the test of time…Intriguing and tense, Traitor shines a blinding, angry, and welcome light on shady international finances and underhanded intelligence agents." (Bookmarks Magazine)
"The venerable spy master is back with an intriguing story about a pair of novice spies who are aiding intelligence efforts to bring in a Russian businessman. Robin Sachs paints a fine portrait of the couple and shines even brighter for the host of British operatives. But it is as Dima--the Russian with a past--that he excels. The bellowing, likable, and commanding Russian is such a unique personality that he demands a distinctive voice, and Sachs comes through." (AudioFile)
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Last month, Arrow fans saw Oliver Queen seemingly fall to his death after being stabbed by Ra's al Ghul. But, since then, details on how Oliver will survive have been virtually non-existent.
Fans have speculated that Oliver might find his way to the Lazarus Pit to cure himself of his wounds and save him from death. Considering that the Lazarus Pit was discovered by Ra's al Ghul in the DC comics, it isn't surprising that fans would jump to that particular conclusion.
However, Stephen Amell, who plays Oliver Queen on The CW series, recently spoke with Collider to clear the air:
"We just saw him fall. We've seen Oliver survive. So, [we don't know]whether he went straight off the cliff, whether something broke his fall, whether he hit the ground. We have mystical herbs on the show that have healing powers. We've seen a Lazarus Pit, although that's not something that's going to be used for Oliver. I hope he survives. I like playing him."
Related: Ominous New Teaser Released For "Arrow" Season 3 Winter Premiere (Spoilers)
There you have it, Arrow fans. Oliver Queen will not return to the series by way of the Lazarus Pit. So, which old or new character will swoop in and save the Arrow from his impending and untimely death? Find out when Arrow returns on Wednesday, January 21 at 8PM EST on The CW.
How do you think Oliver will survive?


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Author Archives: Shel Harrington
Author Archives: Shel Harrington
Excitement at the prospect
Planning what will go into it
Getting the seeds and the plants that we intend to nurture along
Side-by-side, doing the work of tilling the soil and planting the seeds to ensure a good foundation
Patiently waiting to see new growth
Reawakening of excitement as the shoots come up – we're starting to glimpse the end result!
Realization of the need to water and fertilize frequently to keep things growing strong
Grudging acceptance of having to weed, hoe and put in some time so the good stuff doesn't get choked out by the destructive weeds
Frustration in having to prune and cut off potential growth so that the energy of the main plant isn't sapped by growth going in too many different directions
Glee as the produce ripens to the point that we have enough to add to our meals
Pure enjoyment as the harvest is plentiful enough to become the meal itself
Spontaneous sharing of the abundance with friends and family
Over-whelmed with excessive bounty that seems to keep coming
Dissatisfaction of having to do things when they need to be done to avoid wasting what we worked hard to produce
Effort expended together to can, freeze, preserve what we have obtained
Satisfaction of seeing the pantry and freezer stocked with the wealth of our labor
Enjoying the ability to supplement meals with what we have at the ready
Satisfying, fresh-tasting produce to get us through the cold seasons when the garden is barren
The ability to pluck right off the shelf to share with loved ones for their enjoyment or time of need
Appreciation for the wisdom, the unity, the bounty, and the love that result from combined efforts.
As a young newlywed, you head into marriage full of passion, commitment and a rosy glow. As well you should! To keep the glow rosy, avoid these seven common mistakes that young newlywed couples often make!
1. Trying to have the standard of living you enjoyed at your parent's. Many young couples forget to factor in the 20-30 years it took their parents to evolve into their current standard of living. You have to pay your dues – which sometimes means living lean until you can save up to afford the necessities, then the extras, that you want. Just because you qualify for a credit card, doesn't mean you should use it. Financing electronics, furniture, and vacations is shortsighted. Sure, you enjoy them immediately, but the stress of mounting bills and paying for things that no longer exist can take a major toll on a marriage. You also rob yourselves of the memories that come with setting goals and working together to achieve them.
2. Running home to mama – or the equivalent. It's like "mind your own business" in reverse. When you're having a spat, it's tempting to run to someone who will support your viewpoint. Which means painting the picture for them of how horrible and unfair your new spouse (the one who was wonderful yesterday) really is. They might even be offended on your behalf at how unreasonable your mate has been. And then you go home and make up and remember that your spouse is indeed the wonderful person you thought they were. But family member/friend still has the ugly picture of them in their head – the one you put there.
3. Assuming there is a "right way." Which, of course, is synonymous with "my way." What tier of the dishwasher should be loaded first, which direction the toilet paper unrolls, and what brand of tomato soup should be purchased are preferences. Bottom tier, over the top, and Campbell's may be strong preferences, but it still doesn't make them "right." It's amazing how such little differences can spark major spats. If you have told your mate 100 times to put the paper on the roll the "right" way – I wouldn't bother with 101. They've already heard you. They don't care. Move on. Or live in frustration and earn the label of "nag."
4. Assuming you know your mate inside-out. You know nothing. At least that's how it will feel when you look back from twenty years down the road. Keep learning about the other by asking their opinion on issues, trying new things together and checking out new places. Make getting to know each other a life-long lesson.
5. Investing too much time in the soulmate syndrome. While it is lovely to be kindred spirits, you both need to continue to grow and develop your individual interests. As you develop new skills and enjoy different experiences as an individual, it enriches you personally and allows you to bring something new to the marriage.
6. Not cultivating a basic interest in the other's passion. Often, during the passion of courtship, individual passions get put on a back burner while the relationship hits front and center. The painter may have put up the easel for a while, the tennis player may have limited play dates to be more available for love dates. As the marriage settles in, the passions once again emerge as priorities. Don't take it personally – you are not loved less because time is spent on interests that existed in your mate's life before your romance. You don't have to pretend you love it as much as your mate does, but educate yourself (or allow yourself to be educated) to the point where your mate can share highlights of progress made. And you can respond with sincere interest and encouragement.
7. Maintaining the single social scene. There's nothing wrong with maintaining friendships with your single friends after marriage. You just have to do it from a married person's perspective. If part of your social interaction was going to places with the intent to flirt, dance, and meet new members of the opposite sex, you have to forgo that part of the social activities. You know there's not an "innocent" way to do any of those things, right? Cultivating couple friends for you and your spouse to socialize with is just as important as hanging out with your single friends in a way that honors your marriage.
Whether you're looking for reasons to date your spouse, dealing with deployment issues, needing to apologize, wondering about the benefits of "the letter," or just wanting a good laugh, there's something here for you! Today's Friday Five is a compilation of articles I love because they offer great advice, made me chuckle or (bonus!) both.
1. Are you dealing with deployment or long separations from your spouse? 51 Tips for Deployment, Homecoming nd Everything in Between is an article that can be found on Jo, My Gosh blog. In addition to the send-off and the return, it offers suggestions for dealing with the absence of a spouse and for care packages. The site is loaded with other helpful information for military spouses and offers a free copy of The Ultimate Care Package Guide.
2. Never underestimate the power of a letter. Letters That Changed Our World, an article in Parade Magazine written by Liz Welch, gives heartfelt examples of how letters made a difference. It's easy to overlook that there is a second page (hit "Next" at the bottom of the post), but that's where you will find additional reasons to write letters as well as a link that gives a brief "how-to" with letter-writing tips. You might also find a previous post, How to Write a Love Letter to Your Spouse – And Why You Should helpful.
3. Stop using the kids as a reason you can't make date night with your spouse happen. 5 Reasons Your Kids Should See You Date Your Spouse, guest-written by Steve Pare on True Agape blog, sets forth some compelling reasons why when you have kids it's even more important to prioritize dating your spouse. The result in doing so? You benefit, your spouse benefits and the kids benefit – the ultimate win-win-win!
4. When delivering an apology, keep it real. How do you do that? Gina Barreca, columnist for the Hartford Courant and one of my favorite humorists, spells it out in her article To Apologize, What Makes it Real? The article is also helpful if you have already offered a needed apology, but it wasn't well-received – it's possible your delivery could use some improvement.
5. Maybe the changes in your marriage are a good thing. Funny guy Aaron Traister is at it again in his Redbook article 8 Signs Your Marriage Has Changed. You may recognize you and your spouse in a couple of his examples and decide, hmmmm, maybe these changes aren't so bad after all! If you can ignore the rude, unrelated "reading recommendation" plopped into the post, this article will leave you chuckling!
Most of us would not want to be referred to as "A Gossip" – or get caught gossiping. So is gossip always a bad thing? I decided to check out a dictionary to see if there is any positive definition for 'gossip.' As it turns out, after checking several sources, I was indeed able to find a more benign definition of "gossip" than the rumor-riddled association it usually has. Vocabulary.com offers this definition: Gossip is conversation that's light, informal, and usually about other people's business.
My husband and I begin most weekdays by watching the early news. I have to admit, we sometimes watch with a critical eye. In between news stories we do a bit of the scuttlebutt kind of gossiping with regard to newscasters and the actors (I'm using the term loosely) on those early morning screaming car commercials. For instance, noticing a bad hair day, wondering (out loud) when earrings the size of Montana became professional wear, and questioning this ongoing trend of wearing sleeveless dresses no matter how much snow is on the ground. The chatter often ends with one or both of us shaking our head and saying: "They should have asked us!" We actually learn bits about the other and their preferences in these little exchanges, as well as make each other laugh. A bonding moment. Throw in a cup of coffee, and it's a pretty nice start to the day!
Have you got your own spousal gossip going on? Do you ever find yourselves talking about the relationships of friends? In a recent Redbook article, Robb Willer, Ph.D, an associate professor of sociology at Stanford University, says such chat could be helpful to your own marriage. Analyzing behaviors is not the same as passing judgment. Discussing negative behaviors observed – spouses treated disrespectfully or inappropriate public displays – presents opportunities for spouses to discuss what each thinks is right or wrong, how they might have handled the situation, as well as to hash out their different points of view. Willer states that people who share the same values have stronger relationships.
As long as you're not turning such discussions into comparisons to minimize your own marital issues or comparing your own relationship negatively to the point of creating unhealthy envy, such conversations can be quite productive. This kind of chitchat isn't gossip – it's couple's therapy!
What makes people smile more than a bobblehead? Known also as "wobblers" or "nodders," these dolls often have oversized heads connected to the body by a spring or hook in such a way that the head bounces with a light tap or breeze.
You may have seen sports figures bobbilized (a new word I'm creating for the occasion!) or cute animals with bobbing heads on people's dashboards. These smile-makers have been around for decades – my earliest memory of them was the Beatle dolls we received in . . . a previous year.
But you don't have to be famous to be bobbilized! There are several companies that make custom bobbleheads from pictures – complete with specified outfits. They are a bit of a splurge, starting around $100 for a single figure. But, because the businesses are competitive, there's a good chance that you can catch a promotional deal or a groupon for an order. And, for a special occasion, it may be the perfect gift for your spouse – or for you and your spouse to give. Here are 5 suggestions for creative bobblehead-gifting:
1. Surprise your spouse on a birthday or other special occasion with a bobblehead duo of them and their best friend. For double the fun (and a super-splurge), get two sets so they can give one to their friend!
2. Memorialize you and your spouse – bobblehead style – and present to your spouse on your anniversary. This will generate some serious brownie points in addition to the smiles!
3. Bobbing makes the heart grow fonder – pack a bobblehead of you in your spouse's luggage when they are headed out of town, or send in a care package to that deployed spouse, so they can end their nights with your head-bobbing proclamation of love even though you're miles – or countries – away.
4. From the two of you – to a child memorializing their sport, graduation, a special accomplishment, to friends for their anniversary (of them, of course!), to that special engaged couple who would get a kick out of wedding-cake topper that could keep on bobbing long after the cake was eaten.
5. Lead the way with a gifted bobblehead chosen just for the recipient – a favored pet, celebrity, family member – perched in front of them as they drive no matter where they go. I mean, what says "hood ornament" better than a bobblehead??
When friends and family want to chip in to get memorable gift for a special someone, bobbleheads can add just the right touch of humor to that special event. The only thing better than having a reason to say "bobblehead" ten times is to actually have or give one. Bobbleheads – the gift that keeps on bobbing!*
*NO batteries or assembly required!
Note: This was not a sponsored post. Although I wish I'd thought of that – it might have solved the what-to-get-for-the-anniversary-gift-dilemma!
We want to show compassion for friends who tell us they are getting a divorce, but often we don't know how to respond. It's especially difficult when it's clear they don't want the divorce – that the choice was made by their spouse. Often the first thing that pops into our head – an unvarnished truth, perhaps? – is the very thing we should not say as a first response to the news. Here are ten statements that are often blurted out in a well-meaning attempt to offer comfort – followed by what goes on in the mind of the friend (who doesn't want a divorce) when they hear it.
1. You'll be better off without him.
The unspoken response: In what way? Better off financially without half of the family income? Better off with only seeing my kids half the time as they shuttle back and forth between two houses? Better off coming home to an empty house, an empty bed? Define "better off."
2. You can do better than her.
The unspoken response: I don't want "better" – I want what I thought was the best – the person I love.
3. You're better than he'll ever be.
The unspoken response: Then we must both be crap, because clearly I'm not good enough for the person who's "not as good as me."
4. The best revenge is being happy.
The unspoken response: Shut up, OK? Right now it flippin' hurts and "happiness" is a concept I can't begin to imagine.
5. He'll be sorry one day.
The unspoken response: Uh, which day is that? I'm pretty sure it won't be tomorrow. Or next Tuesday. As a matter of fact, I don't think he will be. Ever. You need to work on your pep talks.
6. Time heals all wounds.
The unspoken response: I'm not "wounded," you moron – I'm decimated. Does time heal decimated?
7. Have you prayed about it?
The unspoken response: Until my knees are raw and she's still leaving me. My prayers haven't been answered. Does that mean God doesn't love me either? Just how unlovable AM I??
8. Is there another woman/man?
The unspoken response: Why would you immediately ask that? Do you know something? Does everybody know something?
9. Call me if there's anything I can do.
The unspoken response: Yah – OK. Be expecting a call around 1:00 in the morning – I'll be asking you to come over and fix my broken heart so I can get some sleep. Or, better yet, let me give you a call about fixing my spouse – make her change her mind about ending our marriage. Can you do that?
10. You don't have guns in the house, do you?
The unspoken response: Is that suppose to be funny? You may not have noticed I'm not in a chuckling mood. And if it's NOT suppose to be funny, who are you afraid for – my spouse or me? I don't need you to put crazy thoughts in my head – there's already plenty to deal with in there.
Whether you are thoroughly familiar with your friend's marital history or didn't see it coming, there are no magical words to be offered upon first hearing the news. If the news is being shared via phone or in writing, offer a simple: "Oh, Friend, I am so sorry" and let them make the next remark – one that may give you better guidance with what to say next. If you are told in person, and your relationship is such that physical contact is appropriate, sometimes it's better to say nothing. Sometimes an immediate hug – an available shoulder "to cry on" – better conveys a wordless I hurt for you and with you.
In my Family Law practice, I see the results of extramarital affairs on a regular basis. A wife stunned that her husband and best friend had been meeting behind her back. A husband sent reeling when his wife leaves him for his brother. A spouse having midnight chats with an ex-flame on Facebook. Suspicions confirmed when a spouse who regularly "works late" is caught sexting a co-worker. Do any of these betrayals shock me? No. Sadden me, yes. Shock me, no.
If a spouse is determined to have an affair, for whatever reason, and they seek it out, it will happen. One can't protect themself from such a deliberate act. But the I-didn't-plan-it,-it-just-happened kind of affair is a different story.
First, the social media lie a spouse tells themself. It goes something like this: I just want to see what (fill in the name of the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend) is up to. I won't even let them know I found them. I'll just check their Facebook page. Look! There they are! I'll just say a quick hello and let them know how cute their kids are.
All completely innocent, right? Well the test is, if your spouse was standing next to you, would you be taking that action? Or try this test: you walk into the room and your spouse is sitting in front of the computer reading stats about someone they had a romantic history with – just to see what they're up to. Are you OK with that?
It seems so harmless. Just satisfying curiosity. But what is the real point? Why does it matter? Why do you, Married Person, want information about somebody who is no longer in your life? You will not be able to name a single good reason. If you choose to go ahead and look that person up (bad decision number one) it will lead to more decisions that have to be made.
Skip down the road a couple of bad decisions later to the point where you have had a few "just-catching-up exchanges." It can be very flattering to be remembered fondly and spoken to admiringly by someone from your past. There can be some lovely sparks. The old high school stomach-flutter that you haven't experienced with your spouse for years. (It's so easy to forget how temporary that stage was before it deepened into something more substantial, isn't it?) So the "harmless" written conversations expand to the point of deciding to meet to just have a quick coffee. Oh, by the way, is this wonderful person being deceptive to their spouse, too? This isn't going to end well.
Second, let's talk about why I don't find it shocking that spouses run off with the other spouse's best friend or sibling. Or that they develop a romantic relationship with a neighbor or somebody they work with. What's the common denominator? FAMILIARITY. Which leads us to our second preventative strategy.
And by "family" I mean direct family members such as parents, grandparents and siblings – in-laws and relatives that you weren't raised with as siblings do not qualify for the exemption.
Work situations can be more difficult to control than family environments. Employees often have to work with opposite-gender co-workers one-on-one. Or in high-stress situations where they have to depend on each other for support, cooperation, or safety. It is imperative to plan ahead – before inappropriate feelings develop for another – how you will handle such situations. Have to have a working lunch? Invite others if that's an option. Have a reason to drive separately and meet at the restaurant. Excuse yourself to check in with your spouse if things run long.
One friend, an emergency professional who is in a vehicle during his workday, shared his strategy when assigned female partners. He invites the new partner to his house for dinner to meet his wife and children so she sees what his family life looks like and his wife has an opportunity to get to know his partner. This, of course, is not foolproof – but it is behavior that makes it easier for both individuals to resist temptations that might otherwise be acted upon. It's about being intentional about prevention. And intentional about protecting your marriage.
I'm not suggesting you take things to the extreme here – as in you can't walk into the kitchen if only a sibling-in-law is there – and chat. Or you should refuse to go into your boss's office when summoned to deal with business related matters. Obviously there are times when such interactions may be necessary or reasonable. But it's about being vigilant. Recognize that just because you don't feel that way about them, does NOT mean they don't feel that way about you – or have the potential to.
So two simple things you can do to affair-proof your marriage: don't engage with exes in a way you wouldn't want your spouse to know about AND don't be alone with non-family members of the opposite sex. Because affairs "don't just happen." Extramarital affairs evolve one step (and one bad decision) at a time. Don't take that first step.
EVERY SPOUSE NEEDS A FRIEND. Who better to fill that role than the one who loves them most? Whether you consider your spouse to be your absolute best friend, or you think the term "friend" isn't significant enough to describe your relationship, we can all do a better job in being a friend to our spouses.
You know that special buddy of yours that you only get to see once in a blue moon? The one you pick up the phone and call when you see something that reminds you of your shared history? Analyze how you treat them, how they treat you and why the friendship is special. What's the expression on your faces when you see each other? How do you catch up on what has happened in each other's lives since you last connected?
1. Let your face light up when you see them. What do I mean? Go stand in front of a mirror. Think about a visit from that favored friend that you haven't see in ages – and how great it's going to be to see them. See what happens to your face? Is your spouse getting greeted with that same smile and sparkle?
2. Show interest in what's happened in their life since you last saw them. OK – maybe we should replace 'life' with 'day' – but it's the same principle. Ask about it. And then really listen. Just like we wouldn't presume to know everything about what's happened with that dear friend since we last saw them, chances are there is much our spouse could chat about their own day to an interested listener.
3. Send a text, email, or – better yet – a letter, just to let them know you are thinking of them. Sure, they may see you before they actually receive the written confirmation that you thought of them in the midst of your day – but it will still make them feel special and result in a smile when they see it!
4. Set a specific time to meet. I'm not talking about the oft-referred to "date night" – although that is a very good thing. I'm just talking about a connection that might not otherwise happen. You wouldn't suggest to that special friend that you get together on Tuesday and leave it at that – you make a specific plan. Every once in a while it's nice to set a specific time to hang out for a quick "catch up" time – getting up 15 minutes earlier to linger over a morning coffee, a 7:45 p.m ice cream connection before viewing the planned evening program. An it's-all-about-us moment.
5. Tell them something you've always admired about them. We generally don't hesitate to tell friends what we think is special about them – after all, it's an unknown when the next visit will be and we don't want to miss such an opportunity. In spite of the fact that (we think) we know when we'll next see our spouse, we need to be intentional about creating such opportunities to lift them up. After all, our dearest friend deserves no less!
Like a marriage, The Wizard of Oz is full of history, special moments, reasons to celebrate and meaningful lessons learned. Both have noted milestone anniversaries. The Wizard of Oz recently celebrated its 75th year – now that's longevity! If we want our marriage to have that kind of staying power, we can take a lesson or two from this classic tale.
For some interesting trivia about the movie, check out 75 Weird Wonderful Facts About the Wizard of Oz by clicking (three times will not be necessary) the picture below!
Divorce is tough enough without having to endure a public battle and reliving all the strife in a courtroom. An alternative to that knock-down-drag-out trial is mediation – the process of both parties sitting down with a trained individual who can help you arrive at agreements that best suit your circumstances. I'm not saying it's easy – not much about divorce is – but it's a very good option to explore if you want to get through the process with less damage than a trial can inflict. Having described the process and it's benefits in previous articles, including why my perspective changed after participating in a mediation as a party, I thought I'd pass on some tips from an expert.
Kevyn Mattax, a highly regarded Family Law attorney and certified Family Mediator in Oklahoma City, has some tips to help you get the most out of your mediation experience.
1. Understand the process and what it looks like. Have a discussion with your attorney about not just what mediation is, but how it physically works. Who will be there? How is it set up? Does the mediator provide separate rooms or will you all be in one room? Are there "joint sessions" or does the mediator caucus? Does the mediator provide refreshments or should you bring your own? No question is too silly or basic.
2. Plan ahead for what you might want/need while you are at mediation. Take gum, headache medicine, a bottle of water. Take a charger for your cell phone or your laptop. You may be there for many hours. If you tend to get warm or cold easily, dress in layers and bring a light sweater. If you have young children, make sure that you have someone to pick them up and care for them if the mediation goes longer than you had planned. Do not bring third parties to the mediation unless that has been approved in advance.
3. Come prepared. Make sure your attorney sent the mediator a memorandum with as much helpful information as possible (in advance). Ideally, you, as the client should have reviewed and approved that information. Meet with your attorney in advance and go over your position. Know all of the pros and cons and be prepared with your position, yet, work hard to be flexible and open to compromise at the mediation, if need be. Make sure that all necessary exhibits and helpful materials will be at the mediation. Be as organized as possible so that you can focus on the task at hand. The better informed you are about all of the issues, your assets and liabilities, etc. the smoother the process will be.
4. Expect to feel emotional. Get a good night's sleep the night before. Mediation can be exhausting and mentally draining. Take whatever steps you can to make sure that you are clear headed. Get up and walk around and take mini breaks during the process. Be honest with the mediator – if you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, tell him/her. Mediators are not mind readers, so just speak up and ask for a break and then share your concerns in private. Mediators are expecting these emotions from the parties and have techniques and tips to share with you to help alleviate stressful reactions. Make sure and stay hydrated and eat enough during the day to maintain your blood sugar.
5. Anticipate the resolution. When one side makes an offer, know that there are really only three possible responses: accept, reject or make an offer. Be prepared to go in slow increments at first. Any movement toward resolution is encouraging. Understand that concessions must be made. Concessions are the language of cooperation. Trust the process. Everything that happens at mediation is confidential so you can let your guard down and be willing to truly attempt resolution with the assistance of a good mediator.


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August 13th, 2012, 01:14 PM #1What Should We Develop?
Some of you AvantLink oldtimers may remember that in the past we've asked for feedback and suggestions on things that you as an affiliate, merchant, or OPM would like to see developed for the network.
Because of the fantastic features these feedback sessions have resulted in, we're doing it again! If you have any suggestions for things you'd like to see developed or tweaked, feel free to make that suggestion on our official AvantLink suggestion blog post.
The format is a lot more interactive this time around as all suggestions are made using a social widget where other users can vote your suggestion up, down, or even leave comments or start conversations around it. Feel free to browse other suggestions and vote them up or down as well.
Make A Suggestion Now!
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August 17th, 2012, 04:24 PM #2
Thanks for all of the killer suggestions and to everyone who has voted! This event has been more popular than we could have hoped for.
Just a reminder that voting and idea suggestions will stay open through Sunday, so if you haven't done it yet, head over now and vote away or make some suggestions!
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Our detox programs are specifically designed to support your body's natural biochemistry by addressing key components of phase I &II of the livers detoxification pathways.
Heavy metals, pollutants, pesticides, herbicides, and other toxin substances are found in everyday existence and are frequently hard to avoid entirely. Our bodies accumulate small amounts of these toxins overtime. As a result, our detox pathways become overwhelmed and we can no longer eliminate and process becomes compromised.
This can result in chronic disease, lack of energy, excess weight, skin conditions like acne, food sensitivities, increased allergic reactions, congestion, bloating, constipation, aching muscles and joints, headaches, poor memory or concentration, moodiness, numbness in the extremities, poor concentration, mood swings, sore throat and cough, sensitivity to light and noise.
Detoxification programs
Detox programs involve the removal of toxins from the body and help strengthen the elimination pathways of the body. These programs may involve a combination of several modalities for optimal results. Some of these treatments include:
Specific Diet Protocols
Herbs, Supplements
Intravenous Therapy
How do you know if you are toxic?
- Do you Breath the Air?
- Do you drink the water?
- Do you eat food?
The important question is not are we toxic, but how toxic are we.
What is Chelation Therapy?
Chelation therapy is a series of intravenous injections of EDTA, or DMPS along with nutrients designed to detoxify the body. It is the only medically indicated treatment for heavy metal toxicity. This includes lead , aluminum , mercury and other environmental toxins. Many people feel that chelation therapy has a host of postive benifits, relieving many symptoms some vaque and some specific.The reason is toxicity can have non specific or specific symptoms such as fatigue, lack of energy, depression forgetfulness and so forth. So many times after chelation therapy we find these symptoms are alleviated. Chelation therapy is also thought to help with atherosclerosis. Overall is can be a great general detoxification treatment with numerous advantages to your health. Great for individuals who live in heavily populated or industrialized areas / large cities with pollution.
Some of the benefits of Chelation Therapy are:
- Treats lead toxicity and is standard treatment for any of the heavy metal poisoning ailments.
- Prevents free radicals from injuring blood vessel walls, therefore reducing atherosclerosis.
- Helps prevent collection of platelets on the lining of the vessel which can otherwise lead to formation of blood clots, which is associated with atheromatous plaque formation.
- Benefits as a part of general detoxification regime.
Typical number of sessions required.
- Atherosclerosis/ CVD 20-50 treatments typically.
- Heavy Metal toxicity- 10-20 treatments then retest and may require more treatments till cleared.
- The number of general toxicity treatments are variable depending on doctors exam and testing.
Types of testing.
- Recommended testing to evaluate total Heavy Metal body burden, blood test and 24 hour urine.
- Doctors Data- urine collection for 6 hrs post treatment (provoked urine test) may be part of the process.
- Frequency of testing depends on severity of the condition and patient response.
Cost of Chelation Therapy
- Cost will vary depending on exact condition, discount packages available.
For more information or to schedule a free consultation with Dr. Stephen Benchouk or call us at 808-524-8715 or Contact Us Here!
This Site and its services are for consumer educational use only. Nothing contained in this Site is or should be considered, or used as a substitute for, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This site and its services do not constitute the practice of medicine. Users should always seek the advice of a physician with any questions regarding their health or medical conditions. Never disregard, avoid, or delay obtaining medical advice or following the advice of a physician because of something you have seen or read on this Site.


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Daniel Rothberg / Las Vegas Sun
Friday, Jan. 29, 2016 | 4:24 p.m.
State lawmakers and top university officials attended the opening today of three UNLV offices at data company Switch's Innevation Center. The center will house portions of UNLV's economic development office and its research foundation.
The university's Office of Economic Development, which was started five years ago to encourage private-public partnerships, will still have a presence on UNLV's campus. But the new Switch-based offices are indicative of its focus on greater public outreach.
"This is really the gateway for us to engage with the rest of the community," said Zach Miles, an associate vice president for economic development at UNLV.
Miles also serves as the director of the UNLV Research Foundation, a university-related nonprofit that supports research and will have a presence at the new offices.
Switch donated the space to UNLV, Miles said. University officials spoke of a close relationship with Switch, noting that one of its Las Vegas data centers is home to UNLV's supercomputer.
Switch has also provided UNLV with an exclusive fiber connection that connects its SUPERNAP data center directly with the university campus.
"This relationship has been so good for us," UNLV President Len Jessup said.
The supercomputer, which has the equivalent power of several thousand laptops, is being used for a number of research projects, from studying genomes to testing new gaming technology, which often requires users to run millions of simulations.
Last year, UNLV's Office of Economic Development helped launch three startups — Abel Therapeutics, Moveo Medics and Colony Shield. The university has also pledged to increase its research spending as part of an effort to become a top-tier research university. The move of some of the office's resources to the Innevation Center signifies UNLV's desire to broaden its community engagement as it relates to research, Miles said.
He envisions UNLV serving as a resource in several areas of economic development. He said those include supporting small businesses and developing a strong regional workforce.


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Olympic champion Michael Phelps has (obviously) had a great swimming coach but it was really another teacher who was front and center in his life: his mom, Debbie, a middle school principal in Maryland who has been an award-winning educator for nearly three decades.
Furthermore, she helped Michael learn how to handle attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) when he was diagnosed with it at the age of 9, so he could make it through school and focus on swimming. Michael graduated from Towson High School in 2003 and took some classes at — though did not graduate from — the University of Michigan.
Deborah Phelps is principal of Baltimore's Windsor Mill Middle School , which opened in 2006 and is one of eight STEM academies in Baltimore County Public Schools.
As a family and consumer teaching expert, she created and implemented an award-winning nutrition and food science curriculum that was multi-disciplinary, and created a cutting-edge food science laboratory in which students could learn.
Her training as an educator helped her help her son, Michael, with his ADHD. She told Matt Schneiderman in this interview on everydayhealth.com that there were early signs that Michael was hyperactive, but he was not immediately diagnosed.
Debbie Phelps earned a master's degree in education management and supervision from Loyola College, in Baltimore, and a bachelor's of arts in education from Fairmont State College, in Fairmont, West Virginia, in 1973.
The Windsor Mill website says this about her: "Throughout her nearly three decades in the field of education, Ms. Phelps' top priority in the school house has always been that of teaching and learning — the business of the school. Her role as the principal at Windsor Mill Middle School is to serve as a strong, visible instructional leader, promoting student growth as well as teacher growth; achievement being the top priority."
Follow The Answer Sheet every day by bookmarking www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet .


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Dunne's Villa future hanging in balance
Richard Dunne is expected to receive further clarity on his Aston Villa future today with the club looking to fine the player in the region of four weeks wages for gross misconduct at a team bonding trip last week.
The Ireland star, in tandem with fellow defender James Collins, hurled abuse at coaching staff during a boozy session which spiralled out of control.
An apologetic Dunne expressed remorse for his actions last weekend, but his latest setback in a troubled season makes it likely that he will be looking for a new club this summer.
In the meantime, he faces being hit hard in the pocket. Under PFA rules, players can be fined a maximum of two weeks wages as a sanction, yet the club are pushing for a tougher punishment due to the seriousness of the offence.
Dunne is alleged to have also criticised young midfielder Fabian Delph after the group drank together and watched Spurs' Champions League with AC Milan on TV.
Manager Gerard Houllier and assistant Gary McAllister, with whom Dunne had a serious row in December, were not present as they were attending the game in question.
Dunne, who is on £55,000 a week, will escape the sack for his behaviour, but it's anticipated that Houllier will look to sell him in the summer.
The Tallaght man was frozen out of the Frenchman's plans over Christmas following his disagreement with McAllister. However, he was subsequently recalled and enjoyed a decent run in the team before sustaining the shoulder problem with which he is currently sidelined. Collins was also nursing an injury at the time of a bonding trip.
Ireland desperately need Dunne to be fit for Saturday week's Euro 2012 qualifier with Macedonia at home.
Giovanni Trapattoni said on Monday that he was optimistic, but he will have to be concerned about fielding the 31-year-old given his recent difficulties.
While his form before the latest setback was closer to his normal standard, his overall level of performance this season has been well below par and observers in the Midlands have suggested that the club are worried about his fitness and general lifestyle.
Nevertheless, he has performed reasonably well for Ireland in their qualifiers and is still vital to Trapattoni's team for his leadership skills, especially the positive effect he has on central defensive partner Sean St Ledger.
The concern for the Italian would be if Dunne arrived next week with other matters on his mind, so he will be hoping that the meeting with Villa authorities puts the latest saga to bed.
Houllier has already ruled the player out of Saturday's Premier League tie against Wolves.
Meanwhile, in better news for Trapattoni, goalkeeper Keiren Westwood is confident that he will be fit in time for the game.
With Westwood set to deputise for Shay Given, the alarm bells were ringing in the Irish camp when he was forced to limp out of Coventry's defeat by Bristol City last Saturday week.
After missing the game against Doncaster with hip trouble, he returned to figure in last Saturday's defeat by Hull, which ultimately cost Aidy Boothroyd his job as Coventry manager.
"It is just sore," he said. "It was too soon for me last Tuesday, so I explained to the manager that I could make it worse if he risked asking me to play.
"As hard as it is to sit out a game, I was using common sense really because with the games coming thick and fast I wanted to let it heal.
"Hopefully, I will get to play (against Macedonia). I always want to play for my country."
Irish Independent


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Design project
Buget $10-30 CAD
I need a logo designed. Logo design needed for a cleaning company
Acordat lui:
Hello Sir/Mam, I hope you are doing well. We are the new freelancer but team of high experienced designers. Please check our portfolio and judge us by our working knowledge. ************************************** Mai multe
76 freelanceri ofertează în medie 31$ pentru acest proiect
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text:
Annette Webster
Happy positive.. Sweet voice.. Lots of tones
English (North American), English
Child, Middle Aged, Senior, Teen, Young Adult
Special Skills
Business, Cartoons, Documentaries, Educational, Internet, Movie Trailers, Podcasting, Radio, Telephone, Television, Videogames
Public speaking. Theatre.
Local theatre
Service Description
Positive input always
Payment Terms
Hire Annette as a voice actor. Payment is made through Voices.com SurePay, an escrow service that guarantees your work is done to your satisfaction. Send payment securely by Visa, Mastercard or PayPal through Voices.com then download your files from the website.
Watch a video to see how to make a payment
Next Steps
To contact Annette Webster about your project, request a quote today. We'll walk you through the process step-by-step. It's fast and easy.
This talent has not uploaded any demos yet.
Hire Annette Webster as a voice actor. Working with Annette Webster is fast and easy. We'll walk you through the process step-by-step.
Request a quote for your project today.


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Tagged: landscape pictures bigger
Is it possible to make the landscape pictures bigger? In reference to: http://www.emrita.co/prairie-lily/
Also, is there any way of using a horizontal scrollbar for a gallery?
I am simply another happy customer, so I apologize if I intrude. But I have a couple of thoughts on this, since I sometimes struggle with the same problem. The reason our 'portrait' pictures become bigger is that they are scaled to the width of the content area. This gives them almost twice the size compared to landscape pictures. It's a fairly common function in WordPress themes and web design in general. As to the slidwshow lightbox in Flashlight, it scales pictures in relation to the screen's size, so landscape pictures still get bigger.
I think there are only two solutions to this:
1) Upload pictures of equal size (e.g. 900px x 675px) and don't allow WordPress to scale them. Instead, center all images in the column. You get more blank space around portrait pictures, but at least they're the same size as the landscape ones.
2) Crop all pictures to squares.
Very pretty pictures, too.
The topic 'make landscape pictures bigger' is closed to new replies.


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Magnet Car STEM Challenge
3rd Grade students get to learn all about how magnets work. We are putting that knowledge to work with a STEM Challenge. The students are designing, building, testing and racing cars that will be pulled with the attraction of a magnet. They have lots of supplies to choose from. Including items that will be attracted to a magnet are important. Today the students designed, collected supplies and began to build. The next time they are in the STEM Lab they will finish building, test their designs, make changes and race.
Mrs. Karantonis
Mrs. Callahan
Ms. Griscti
Mrs. Stewart and Mrs. Culpepper
One of my FAVORITE things we do in the STEM Lab with 3rd grade students is make ELEPHANT TOOTHPASTE!!!! One of the science standards for heat energy says that students should understand that heat can be produced as part of a chemical reaction. So, we make a big flowing chemical reaction (elephant toothpaste) and use thermometers to measure the heat that is produced. Plus, it looks really awesome!
Heat Energy...An Introduction
3rd Grade students are learning all about HEAT ENERGY!! We started by talking about sources of heat energy. The students also learned about the three methods of heat transfer: conduction, convection and radiation. Heat always transfers from hot to cold. The students took part in an experiment to test the loss of heat (heat transfer) from two different cups, 1 clear plastic cup and 1 styrofoam cup. This was a great lesson on heat transfer and also really good experience reading a thermometer. Reading a thermometer is a BIG part of the activities we do with heat energy.
Build the Best Beak...Testing Day
Students have planned, designed, gathered supplies and today they built and tested their bird beak designs. The goal was for each group to build a beak that would allow them to "eat": seeds, beans, worms and nectar. The groups put their beaks to the test. We found that some of the beaks worked better for certain foods or nectar. They talked about how they could make changes to the beaks and improve on their designs. Two of the classes took part in the activity today. The remaining two classes will be in the STEM Lab on Monday when we return from break.
Mrs. Karantonis
Mrs. Callahan
Build The Best Bird Beak
Today we talked about how bird beaks are perfectly adapted to what they eat. We looked at lots of examples of birds and their beaks, and specifically looked at how the beaks are perfect for the type of food they eat. They will be taking part in a STEM activity. Students will be working in groups to build the best bird beak. Their bird beak has to be able to "EAT" woms, seeds, cereal and drink nectar. They made their plans and designed the beaks. Next time....they build!
Animal Adaptations
3rd Grade has started learning about the regions (habitats) of Georgia in Science. In the STEM Lab we will be expanding on the topic of habitats. Students took part in a lesson all about animal adaptations, ways that animals are able to change with changes in their habitats. We made charts showing the different Behavioral and Physical adaptations in animals. We also did an experiment to help them better understand MIMICRY, one of the behavioral adaptations in animals. In the lab, students were given two samples of clear soda (A and B) to observe and smell. They then had to decide which sample they wanted to drink. Once they chose their sample, they drank....and some were not happy with their choice! Sample A was lemon lime soda, Sample B was lemon lime seltzer water (not the expected drink). We talked about how this is like mimicry in nature. Round 2 of the experiment involved students observing two different samples of soda. One was clear and the other blue. Almost 99% of students wanted to drink the blue soda, because they were afraid that the clear was the yucky seltzer water. That helped them to understand how mimicry can become a protective adaptation for plants, animals and insects.
Mrs. Guckert is the STEM Lab Teacher at Rocky Mount Elemetary. This is her 4th year teaching at Rocky Mount. The STEM Lab is fully funded by the Rocky Mount Elementary School Foundation. This program would not be possible without the generous donations to the Foundation from the Rocky Mount community.
April 2017


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Renewable Energy Transactions
With the possibilities for the exploitation of renewable energy in Scotland exceptionally high - an estimated 25% of all Europe's offshore wind power, plus the wave potential around our coast - it's no surprise that there are more and more renewable energy projects appearing not just in the Highlands & Islands, but all over the country.
Renewable energy is a very attractive venture due to its vast nature and prospective rewards, and at Munro & Noble we can help those looking to exploit Scotland's immense capabilities in this sector.
Mainly acting for landowners, we can provide comprehensive legal advice to those presented by developers with Option Agreements and Leases for hydro schemes, wave power schemes and windfarms, negotiating the terms of the Option Agreement and Lease on your behalf; and ensuring you understand the legal implications of entering into any Option Agreement/Lease.
If you have an enquiry regarding a renewable energy matter please contact Tom Hills on 01463-221727.
Tom Hillis | PartnerTom is primarily involved in the purchase and sale of commercial and domestic property. He takes particular interest in crofting matters. Tom has represented clients in numerous crofting related matters and recently successfully argued on behalf of a landlord client for a resumption order before the Scottish Land...
Read More


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Birthday: December 26th, 2008 Gotcha Day: March 3rd, 2009
Anyone who has spent even a short amount of time viewing Paw Print Pet Blog has probably already read about, and seen pictures of, Kitsune. Kitsune was the original inspiration behind the creation of this blog! He is a 8 year old tri-color Papillon. At around 20lbs, he is double the size of a normal, breed standard, Papillon. He has adorable mismatched ears that fit his crazy personality perfectly!
Kitsune is very hyper, and is an expert at finding new and exciting ways of getting himself into trouble. He is very friendly, and loves making new friends - both with other animals and with people. Some of his favorite activities include spending time at the park, playing with toys (plush squeaky toys and tennis balls are his favorites!), being chased, and snuggling with his humans. You can see Kitsune in action on his Youtube channel!


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PITTSBURGH -- Carolina left wing Erik Cole will miss at
least the rest of the regular season with a compression fracture in
a vertebra in his neck caused when he was driven headfirst into the
boards by Pittsburgh's Brooks Orpik during a 7-5 Hurricanes victory
Saturday night.
Cole, tied for second on the team in scoring, will be out at
least 6-to-8 weeks -- a major loss for what currently is the team
with the NHL's best record. The Hurricanes have not ruled out Cole
returning for the playoffs, which begin in mid-April.
Cole had scored two goals for the second night in a row before
he was rammed into the dasher boards from behind by Orpik with
14:42 remaining as the Hurricanes were trying to hold off the
Penguins, who trailed 5-0 and 6-1 before rallying.
Cole was slammed into the boards near the right circle, along
the side of the ice where the bench areas are located, after he
appeared to lose his footing just before Orpik hit him.
Cole, who had hit the 30-goal mark for the first time in his
career earlier in the game, was doubled over in pain while being
helped off the ice. He was taken to Pittsburgh's UPMC Presbyterian,
where he was examined and released Sunday morning before returning
to Raleigh to be examined by team orthopedic physician Douglas
To replace Cole, the Hurricanes -- who lead the NHL with 88
points -- recalled forward Andrew Ladd from Lowell (AHL) for Monday
night's game at the New York Rangers.
After Cole was hurt, both Hurricanes coach Peter Laviolette and
defenseman Bret Hedican criticized the officiating, with Hedican
saying the officials let the game get out of control. Earlier, the
game featured a fight between Pittsburgh's Andre Roy and Carolina's
Mike Commodore, the first fight involving a Carolina player since
Jan. 26.
Laviolette called on the NHL to discipline Orpik, a marginal
defender who has tried to develop a reputation for being a big
hitter during his two-plus NHL seasons.
"I'm sure the league will follow up on it," Laviolette said.
"I just think people who have a history of putting other players
in the league in vulnerable situations, there's no room for that.
There's no room for [risking] somebody's well-being."
The injury comes during a key stretch of the Hurricanes' season
in which they are playing five road games in eight nights and nine
of 10 games on the road. They are 3-0 since the Olympic break, with
the 27-year-old Cole getting four goals and two assists.
Cole's 60 points in 60 games are a career high and tie him with
Cory Stillman for second on the team, behind Eric Staal's 82


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The lasting image from the Miami Heat winning the 2012 NBA championship may be the unfettered exuberance of LeBron James.
James spent the whole night smiling, cradling the Larry O'Brien trophy and partying around South Beach.
But apparently his teammate, old man Chris Bosh, was counting down the minutes until he could get home.
Bosh kept using the word "tired" when he went on Jimmy Kimmel Live on Thursday night to talk about winning the NBA title and how the Heat celebrated afterward.
"Once everybody left," Bosh said of the party in the locker room as the Heat wrapped up their postgame interviews, "we're sticky, in champagne, and we're like, 'All right.' "
The players didn't get to the high-flying party being held for them until about 4 a.m. But Bosh had another pit stop first.
"We went to Taco Bell right after," he said. "We had the trophy, take a shower, and I was like, 'All right, I'm gonna bail — I'll see you guys."
The late-night burrito run didn't seem to help his case of the yawns, though.
"I was tired," he said. "It's funny how you age so fast in the NBA. If you're 21, it's cool. But, you know, I'm not old, but I'm a little older, and I was like, I want to go home! The sun was coming up, and I had Taco Bell, so I was full."
Hear about Bosh's fast food trek, as well as what he thought of James' "subtle threats" to kill his teammates' families, in the video below.
Julia Goerges doesn't like this flavor.
"So, to get to play with a future Hall of Famer, I knew I had to step my game up and get in my book more, run routes more, because I never really ran routes much."
— Demaryius Thomas, on what's different about playing with Peyton Manning in Denver
Yes, he was.
Cyclers, beware of stray soccer balls.
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Dickenson Family YMCA
Dickenson Family YMCA
The 2008 opening of the R.C. Dickenson Family YMCA gave families in the communities of Broken Arrow and southeast Tulsa an ideal local center for fun, exercise, and relaxation.
The R.C. Dickenson Family YMCA features a fitness center, group exercise classes, locker rooms for adults and families, Play & Learn childcare and an Adventure Center/Kids' Zone while you work out, soccer fields and more. We also offer specialized kids and family group exercise classes, senior programs, and a wide range of health and wellness programs.
8501 S. Garnett Rd.
Broken Arrow
(918) 872-9622
(918) 872-1382 (fax)
Hours of Operation
Monday - Thursday 5:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Friday 5:00 a.m. - 7:00 p.m.
Saturday 8:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.
Sunday 1:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Events and News
- Black Friday Classes
Burn those bird calories!
- Soccer Cancelled, Tuesday October 3 Due to Rain
Practices can be rescheduled for Friday
- Fall brings NEW classes to your Dickenson YMCA!
Y-Barre and Pilates Fusion are coming!
- Fall 2017 Running Groups
Set a New Running goal at the YMCA!
- Iron Girls
Fall Weight Training Program for Women