text:
The Donahues Episode 2
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Script by: NEONETWORK
"Drugs are used to cure a pain, to save body's gain, but when abused, it's disdain"
- Melvin Banggollay
(We start with Ethan and Kimberly reading newspapers at the dinner table. Kimberly is reading the New York Times while Ethan is reading the Washington Post.)
ETHAN: So, what does your Liberal rag say?
KIMBERLY: I'm reading an article about No Child Left Behind waivers. Ten states have got them.
ETHAN: Well that's good. Has Vermont gotten one?
KIMBERLY: No, to get a waiver you have to come up with an alternative education plan.
ETHAN: Damnit. (Puts down newspaper) What the hell does Governor Shumlin do all day, anyway? Besides polish his huge fucking nose and get hammer and sickle tattoos on his balls? This state has to get a waiver from ObamaCare to go to a single-payer socialist health care system, or should I say systematic extermination.
KIMBERLY: Wrong.
ETHAN: And we have to deal every day with socialists like Governor Shumlin and Senator Leahy!
KIMBERLY: What about Senator Bernie Sanders? He actually calls himself a socialist!
ETHAN: Yeah, but conservatives respect him for actually having the balls to come out and say it.
(Jacob comes in wearing a plaid collared shirt with rolled up sleeves and jeans.)
JACOB: Good morning.
PARENTS: Morning.
(Jacob opens the fridge, takes out waffles and puts them in the toaster.)
ETHAN: So Jacob, what is my favorite son doing in school today?
JACOB: Well, we're practicing today, dad.
ETHAN: Practicing lay-ups?
JACOB: Yeah.
ETHAN: Field goals?
JACOB: Sure…
ETHAN: Birdies?
JACOB: Absolutely.
ETHAN: 'Atta boy.
(Ryan comes in wearing dark blue super-skinny jeans and a black "Slur Factory" shirt.)
RYAN: Hey.
(Jacob's waffles pop up, and Jacob takes them out, puts them on a plate and eats them at the table)
ETHAN: Don't forget your sports bag, Jacob.
JACOB: I won't. We're going to win state this year.
ETHAN: Gonna win state! When is your next game?
JACOB: Thursday, March 22, 2012 at 5pm.
RYAN: That was oddly specific.
ETHAN: Damnit, I have a meeting then. Well, I'll try to make the next game.
RYAN: Hmm…
(Cut to Ryan, Jacob and Madeline on the bus)
RYAN: Hey Jacob.
JACOB: Yeah?
RYAN: I have a question, what sport do you play?
JACOB: You know…I play (mumbles)
RYAN: What was that?
JACOB: (Mumbles)
RYAN: Say again?
JACOB: Mumble.
RYAN: You just said mumble! Do you play a sport?
JACOB: NO! Okay? No, I don't play a sport.
RYAN: Then why do you say you do?
JACOB: Because dad is proud of me, that's why. He'd probably be proud of you as well if you played a sport.
RYAN: No, he wouldn't believe me. Listen, didn't you use to play a sport?
JACOB: Yeah, I was a football player for a few weeks at the beginning of eleventh grade.
RYAN: You're in eleventh grade.
JACOB: I know, and I played in football for a few weeks in September of last year, but I sucked. I kept trying steroids but they made me easily irritable, acne-ridden and ball shrunk.
MADELINE: Jesus, you did steroids?
RYAN: Your balls are small?
JACOB: Yes, I did steroids. I got them from Coach Weave.
RYAN: Wait, he just gave you steroids?
JACOB: Yep. He knows my dad's a hard ass, and he knows that hard work and determination are over rated, so he gave me a needle and told me to inject it into my ass.
RYAN: Wow. Are there any other teachers that sell drugs?
JACOB: Well, Mr. Daniels sells ecstasy and Ms. Carper sells pot.
(A crazy-haired kid with a messed-up face joins the conversation)
CRAZY KID: Does any teacher sell meth?
JACOB: Jesus Christ, no. Who the hell are you?
CRAZY KID: I'm Casey.
JACOB: Okay, Casey, please back off, you smell like a dead postman some kid and his dad ran over on the way back from the kid's grandmother's house last fall.
RYAN: What?
CASEY: Fine, if meth is not an option, I'll back off.
(Casey sits back in his seat)
RYAN: Hey, how did you know Thursday the 22nd is off limits for dad?
JACOB: Easy. I have his schedule! (Jacob takes out a black calendar book) Let's see, the "game" after Thursday's "game" will be Tuesday, March 27, 2012 at 6pm when dad has a manicure scheduled.
MADELINE: Wow, that's embarrassing.
RYAN: Where does he get the nerve to call me a faggot? Anyway, I am going to get ecstasy from that Mr. Daniels dude, for sure.
JACOB: Why? What happened to your current supplier?
RYAN: Uh, hello? He died!
JACOB: Why are you talking to me like I should know this?
RYAN: Well, he's dead. Kid was fucking seventeen years old.
JACOB: Yeah, and he was fucking fifteen year olds.
RYAN: The man's dead, have a little respect.
JACOB: He was creepy, I'm sorry.
RYAN: Yeah, I'll give you that.
(Cut to Ryan sitting in Mr. Daniels' history class as Mr. Daniels, a brown-haired thin white man of average height with a blue shirt and red tie and a pair of tan cackies and brown shoes, lectures the class.)
MR. DANIELS: And class, that's how many times Thomas Jefferson banged his slaves. (The bell is sounded on the intercom) Class is dismissed.
(Students gather their things and leave, however, Ryan remains and walks up to the teacher as he takes a seat at his desk.)
RYAN: Hello, Mr. Daniels.
MR. DANIELS: Hello, Ryan.
RYAN: So, I need to talk to you about something, that probably needs to be kept on the down low.
MR. DANIELS: This is the first time you've ever talked to me.
RYAN: Well, I've said hi.
MR. DANIELS: No, when you come into class you're always on your iPod.
RYAN: Well, I've nodded to you.
MR. DANIELS: Well, congratulations, you've acknowledged I exist, now what do you want?
RYAN: Well, I heard from a source that will be kept on the down low,
MR. DANIELS: Stop saying that.
RYAN: That you sell ecstasy. Is this true?
RYAN: Oh fuck.
MR. DANIELS: I am calling the principal right now, Ryan.
(Mr. Daniels picks up the phone. Cut to Principal Maxell's office. The principal is a portly white man with a fine, black Italian suit, wide-brimmed glasses and uniform salt and pepper hair. He is talking to Ryan, who is sitting down in a seat in front of Principal Maxell's desk in the poorly light room. Mr. Daniels is standing close by.)
PRINCIPAL MAXELL: Mr. Donahue, this is a very serious matter. Mr. Daniels alleges that you were trying to troll him for ecstasy.
RYAN: Well, this is true.
MAXELL: Really? Well, sign this form of admission (He puts a form on the table) and your punishment will be forthright.
RYAN: Actually, I was trolling for pot.
MAXELL: What?
RYAN: No, I was trolling for meth.
RYAN: On second thought, I was trolling for Oxycontin, Xanax bars, Percocet and Lori tab. Valiums, morphine, patches, ecstasy and it's all up for grabs.
MAXELL: GODDAMNIT QUIT CHANGING YOUR STORY! Ugh, I guess since you're all over the place, we have no choice but to give you a warning. Wait a minute, Mr. Daniels, did he ask you for ecstasy?
MR. DANIELS: Yes he did.
RYAN: Bullshit! I asked him if he sold ecstasy.
MAXELL: Is this true?
MR. DANIELS: …Do we have security cameras in my class room?
MAXELL: Yes.
MR. DANIELS: (Sighs) Fuck, it's right.
MAXELL: Damnit. Well then you didn't technically do anything wrong. You found a loophole, and I respect that, because you got to be proactive to find loopholes, it's why your dad only pays 14% in taxes.
RYAN: Yep.
MAXELL: However, we're still going to punish you for saying "bullshit" a minute ago.
MR. DANIELS: Yeah, he also said "fuck" in front of me.
RYAN: Shit.
(Cut to Jacob talking to a girl during passing period.)
JACOB: So, I can bench press about 450. Quite frankly, that's why I am the captain, the quarter back and the linebacker.
GIRL: Ooh. You sound like the best-what sport do you play?
JACOB: You have beautiful hair. (Jacob's phone rings, and he answers it) Hello?
ETHAN: (On the phone) Hey, I just moved my schedule around, so I can go to your big game on Thursday. Are you excited?
JACOB: …Yeah…
ETHAN: Great. See ya tonight. Stay golden!
JACOB: …Coo… (Ethan hangs up) oh no.
(Ryan walks up to Jacob)
RYAN: Hey, asshole.
JACOB: Wha-what?
(Jacob slowly puts down his phone)
RYAN: Thanks a lot, I asked Mr. Daniels for ecstasy and I narrowly averted getting OCS.
JACOB: Really? That's surprising. Oh wait, I know what happened! There are two Mr. Daniels, one teaches history and the other teaches sports marketing.
RYAN: Well, why the hell didn't you tell me that?
JACOB: I don't know, stop bitching to me about your whiny emo problems, I have problems, too. Dad said he can attend my "game" on Thursday now.
RYAN: Well, that does suck. What're you going to do? Dress up in nylon, put on a helmet, get some theatre class faggots and put on a show in the backyard?
JACOB: I was thinking that, but theatre kids aren't usually particularly athletic.
RYAN: Yeah, plus the rest of that plan generally lacks believability; I'm surprised you didn't focus on that first.
JACOB: Shut up for second, I'm trying to think.
RYAN: Fair enough. (Long silence) What the hell kind of class is sports marketing?
JACOB: I don't know.
(Cut to Ethan in a suit at his desk typing something on a laptop. On his desk lays a plaque saying "ETHAN M. DONAHUE, ASSISTANT MAYOR, HANSBAY, VERMONT", and he receives an intercom message)
MAYOR SARANDON INTERCOM: Ethan, come into my office, please.
ETHAN: Yes sir. (Ethan stands up and opens his door, and then walks down the hallway to open Mayor Sarandon's door. Mayor Sarandon is turned in his chair towards paintings on the wall behind him. He spins around in his chair upon noticing Ethan's presence.) What would you like, sir?
MAYOR SARANDON: I would like to talk to you, close the door.
(Ethan closes the door and takes a seat.)
MAYOR SARANDON: Ethan, it has come to my attention that the Hansbay Action News 5 is planning on running an expose on yours truly.
ETHAN: About what? Irrigation? Zoning? Mineral rights? What?
MAYOR SARANDON: Prostitutes. Yep, dirty, dirty prostitutes who come every night to my humble abode to pleasure my most base and callow of sexual instincts. Fellatio, anal, vaginal, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, 69, doggy style, spoons position, woman on top, T-square, the pile driver, cunnilingus, analingus, mutual masturbation, handjob, footjob, Stevejob,
ETHAN: Steve Job?
MAYOR SARANDON: Tittyfucking, axillary intercourse,
ETHAN: What the hell is that?
MAYOR SARANDON: Penis in the arm pit.
ETHAN: Wha-that exists?
MAYOR SARANDON: Threesome, double penetration-
ETHAN: Why are you telling me this??
MAYOR SARANDON: Because you need to know how bad this scandal would be for me!
ETHAN: Is it true?
MAYOR SARANDON: No, I just went into an incredibly specific tirade about how much fuck I get out of sarcasm! Of course it's true!
ETHAN: Jesus, but your dead wife-
MAYOR SARANDON: A man has to move on.
ETHAN: To prostitutes?
MAYOR SARANDON: Sure. Anyway, I need you to make sure they don't run the story.
ETHAN: Like, by bribing them?
MAYOR SARANDON: No, these people will not be satisfied by bribery alone. You need to show them a good time.
ETHAN: Maybe I should get them some prostitutes.
MAYOR SARANDON: Well, that's a start.
ETHAN: Not being serious.
MAYOR SARANDON: Oh, okay. Anyway, be sure to also give them something they can use in the long term, something they wouldn't want to sacrifice for some career-boosting news story.
ETHAN: Fine. Is it all female prostitutes?
MAYOR SARANDON: Fuck you.
(Cut to Mr. Daniels, a more eccentric sports marketing teacher with unkempt blonde hair, a plaid shirt, tan jeans and VANS shoes teaching a class.)
OTHER MR. DANIELS: The key to marketing sports drinks is simple, ladies and gentleman. Sweat always has to be a different color than it should be! For example, (He pulls up a projector, switches the lights off and presses the button to show a black man sweating Gatorade) this Negro man-
(Class gasps)
OTHER MR. DANIELS: Is sweating blue Gatorade! Now, what color is sweat usually, Pamela?
GIRL: Not my name.
OTHER MR. DANIELS: Janet?
GIRL: Not even close.
OTHER MR. DANIELS: Just, answer the question, Dana.
GIRL: It's clear, Mr. Daniels.
OTHER MR. DANIELS: CORRECT! (The school bell chimes and students start gathering their things) Remember, there is a quiz on sweat color next class. It's one question, so study! (As students begin leaving, Ryan comes in to greet the other Mr. Daniels.) Can I help you, son?
RYAN: Yes you can, Mr. Daniels. I hate to go out on a limb here Mr. Daniels, but-
OTHER MR. DANIELS: Please, call me Jack.
RYAN: Your name is Jack Daniels?
JACK DANIELS: Yes. Is something wrong with that?
RYAN: I guess not? Anyway, I was wondering, (Looks behind him as the last student funnels out of the room) Do you sell ecstasy?
JACK DANIELS: Oh, I see a bit of rebellion in this one.
RYAN: Excuse me?
JACK DANIELS: It seems you let your clothing, music, drugs and depression dictate how you live because it's some sort of proxy battle on your unsupportive father and society in general for making you so sad, but you fail to recognize the real causes of your depression because that would require making a personality and outlook change, which you're not willing to do.
RYAN: …What?
JACK DANIELS: Sorry, I majored in psychology.
RYAN: Fuck you, dude and just give me the ecstasy.
JACK DANIELS: If only it were that simple.
RYAN: What do I have to do?
JACK DANIELS: Pay me forty dollars per tablet.
RYAN: Christ, ecstasy prices are sky-high.
JACK DANIELS: Well, the price of a barrel of ecstasy is like 4,000 dollars nowadays.
RYAN: Why is that?
JACK DANIELS: Well, it's partially due to MDMA speculators and the Iranian threat to block the Strait of Hormuz where all those E shipments go through, it's disrupted the world methylenedioxymethamphetamine market.
RYAN: I think you're thinking of oil.
RYAN: …Okay?
JACK DANIELS: How many tablets do you need?
RYAN: Three.
JACK DANIELS: That'll be 120 dollars.
RYAN: Um…I only have forty dollars.
JACK DANIELS: Then you my friend are the weakest link, goodbye!
(Jack disappears under his desk, cut to Jacob talking to Coach Weave in the locker room.)
JACOB: Hey coach.
COACH WEAVE: Hey, Jacob, how ya doin'?
JACOB: Fine, coach listen-
COACH WEAVE: How's your daddy?
JACOB: He's fine, still very conservative.
COACH WEAVE: How's your momma?
JACOB: She's terrific, listen though-
COACH WEAVE: How's your brother?
JACOB: Still faggy as ever, can we talk about-
COACH WEAVE: How's your momma's brother?
JACOB: My mom doesn't have a brother; can we talk about something, coach?
COACH WEAVE: What's on your mind, Jakey?
JACOB: Don't call me that, my dad thinks I still play for your team, and now he is expecting to go to a game this Thursday, that doesn't exist. I don't know how I'm going to handle this.
COACH WEAVE: Well it sounds like you're going to need to rejoin the team. Quick, (Pulls out steroid needle) inject this into your ass.
JACOB: No, I'm not going to punch a kitten again, I need to practice.
COACH WEAVE: But you suck.
JACOB: What kind of coach are you? Most coaches would give me, like, an inspirational speech, you know, clear eyes, full heart, can't lose, but you-you're just…annoyed by that.
COACH WEAVE: Jacob, if you really want to impress your parents, you would come clean to them and tell them that you suck at playing sports and you're not playing one.
JACOB: Right…is there any other option?
COACH WEAVE: Well, does your dad know what sport you "play"?
JACOB: No. He doesn't know a lot about sports in general.
COACH WEAVE: Then go to Coach Diaz and get involved with a sport he would never want to go and see.
(Cut to Jacob and Coach Diaz on a golf course, both wearing cackies and polo shirts holding golf clubs. Coach Diaz is wearing tan cackies and a green polo, Jacob is wearing tan cackies and a blue polo)
JACOB: I'm ready to bask in mediocrity, coach!
COACH DIAZ: You've come to the right place. Now let's work on cursing excessively when you don't get the right swing.
JACOB: Okay.
(Jacob places a ball on the green as Coach Diaz moves out of the way. He lines his club up and swings, sending the ball flying to the far left.)
COACH DIAZ: Good. Now watch. (He places another ball on the green, swings at it, and it flies far to the right.) PUSSY-ASS DICK TITS!
(Cut to Ethan out at dinner with some people from Hansbay Action News 5. The restaurant is a dimly light Italian place, with waiters and people hustling and bustling every which way. There are two men in suits, one a young, handsome reporter with brown hair and a navy blue suit jacket, black tie and white shirt, and the other an older, thinning, gray-haired reporter with a tweed jacket, dark blue shirt and a black tie, smoking a cigar. A waiter comes over.)
WAITER: Hi, I'm Shane; I'll be serving you today. Can I get you guys anything to drink?
ETHAN: Hello, Shane, I'll have the straight, hard Kentucky Bourbon.
SHANE: We don't have that.
ETHAN: Alright, how about the straight, hard Nevada doot?
SHANE: I don't think that exists.
ETHAN: Fine, a tall Miller, stout black.
SHANE: Okay, and for you?
YOUNG GUY: I'll have a sweet tea.
SHANE: We only have unsweet.
ETHAN: Whoa, these are my guests, don't be an asshole, get them what they desire.
YOUNG GUY: It's fine, really.
ETHAN: It's not fine, I don't care if you have to milk a sweet cow to get that sweet tea, I want it done!
SHANE: I really can't, sorry. I'll get you unsweet. For you, sir?
OLDER GUY: I'll have water, thank you.
SHANE: Okay, I'll be right back with that and I'll come to take your full order.
(Shane leaves)
ETHAN: Believe that guy?
YOUNG GUY: Yes, actually.
ETHAN: Whatever. It's so nice to have you two out with me tonight.
YOUNG GUY: Oh, it's a pleasure for us as well.
OLDER GUY: Absolutely.
ETHAN: So, Richard, Matthew, I heard you are going to run a pretty incendiary story about my friend and boss, Brian Sarandon, correct?
MATTHEW: If by incendiary you mean true, then yeah.
ETHAN: (Laughs) How do you know it's true?
RICHARD: Well, my son did a story about poverty in the red light district of downtown Hansbay, and he stumbled upon a whore who showed records of Mayor Sarandon's sexual escapades with prostitutes.
MATTHEW: Yeah, and he's sexually inclined towards some pretty weird stuff. Ever heard of axillary intercourse?
ETHAN: Unfortunately, yes. Listen, this story is not in the public interest whether it's true or not.
RICHARD: How? Don't the people of Hansbay deserve to know whether their leader has integrity or not?
ETHAN: What is integrity really?
MATTHEW: Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
ETHAN: Right, but that's the dictionary definition, and Mayor Sarandon has plenty of integrity. He leaps and frolics in it; he appropriated that money for the playground system at the city council's suggestion,
RICHARD: The playgrounds were made of steel, in the summer children would get severe burns from just using them.
MATTHEW: Plus, they managed to somehow use asbestos when making an outdoor playground.
ETHAN: Well, he apologized for that. But, he also made attempts to control the homeless population.
RICHARD: He commissioned a company to build gates around all the upper-income neighborhoods to keep the homeless out, he put up signs that said "Homeless keep off the grass" and he paid them twenty dollars a day at the Hansbay Festival to walk around with routers to give people internet access.
ETHAN: Hey, south by southwest thought it was a good idea!
MATTHEW: By the way, he also somehow managed to have asbestos used when making the gates.
ETHAN: OKAY, OKAY, FINE! But perhaps you would be less inclined to run the piece if I paid you a million dollars.
RICHARD: You realize how much money we're going to make from this story? We'll probably get jobs at CNN, MSNBC or FOX News.
ETHAN: How about this then, a million dollars, plus I take your family to Sea World in Orlando, Florida during Easter Break.
MATTHEW: Who are you talking to?
ETHAN: I don't know…you?
MATTHEW: That's a terrible offer, I can take them myself.
ETHAN: Okay, how about a longer term deal?
RICHARD: Like what?
ETHAN: If you don't run the story, I'll provide your children tuition.
MATTHEW: Do you have enough money to do that?
ETHAN: No, I just kind of went out on a limb there. Took a shot in the dark, brought a knife to a gunfight, went in half-cocked, cannon balled into a shallow pool,
RICHARD: Okay, we get it. Quite frankly, you have just made things considerably worse for yourself-
(The waiter comes around and puts down everybody's drinks)
SHANE: Alright, are you guys ready to order?
SHANE: …'Kay then I'll be back.
(Shane exits stage right)
RICHARD: Like I was saying, you have made things considerably worse for yourself by trying to bribe us, because we'll add that to the story. And by the way, it airs TONIGHT. We're gone.
(They both get up and throw their dinner towels on the table and leave.)
ETHAN: Oh no…
(Cut to Ryan talking to Brennan and Sarah, Brennan is a yay-high scene/emo kid with long, straightened brown hair with olive skin wearing a black "Death Promise" t-shirt with black super skinny jeans while Sarah is a skinny scene/emo girl with dyed red and black hair, red lipstick, white skin, a black "Dark veil Grooms" t-shirt with black super skinny jeans)
RYAN: Well, we're sucked.
BRENNAN: How do you figure that?
RYAN: Three tablets of E cost 120 dollars. There is no goddamn way we could afford that.
SARAH: Well, we could pony up the dough, I'm sure.
RYAN: How?
BRENNAN: We could get jobs.
RYAN: Where? Hot Topic?
BRENNAN: Yeah, actually.
SARAH: It's what I was thinking.
RYAN: Yeah, that's actually pretty reasonable. Remember, keep your dead eyes and souls on the prize, and the prize is 2-4 hours of irrational euphoria filled with unbridled energy, homoerotic love and lack of inhibition before a gradual depressive state.
BRENNAN AND SARAH: Fuck yeah!
RYAN: Yes. And we'll go to the Hansbay Mall this weekend and apply for a weekend gig at Hot Topic.
BRENNAN: That's going to be a fun job. Who wouldn't want to deal with angsty teenagers and uncomfortable dads all day?
SARAH: I know!
(Cut to Ethan walking down the street in a bad neighborhood filled with dilapidated houses, low-quality cars, drug dealers, graffiti, the homeless and prostitutes.)
ETHAN: This is so bad. Mayor Sarandon's political career is over tonight. There's essentially nothing I can do at this point.
(A black prostitute in a short skirt, heels and skanky top walks up Ethan)
PROSTITUTE: Hey, baby. You seem stressed. Would you like some axillary intercourse?
ETHAN: No ma'am, I'm fine. Hey, do you know a guy named Matthew Chambliss?
PROSTITUTE: Oh yeah, he works for the Hansbay News, right?
ETHAN: Yeah, has he spoken to you?
PROSTITUTE: Spoken to me? He's one of my biggest customers.
(Ethan's eyes widen)
(Cut to Matthew coaching an anchor on his lines in a studio back room.)
MATTHEW: Remember Patrick, it's "Hundreds of Syrian protestors killed" not "Hundreds of Syrian protestors killed."
PATRICK: I see.
(Matthew receives a call.)
MATTHEW: Hello?
ETHAN: (On the phone) Hello, Matt.
MATTHEW: What the fuck do you want?
ETHAN: Oh, nothing, I just ran into a little someone in the hood named Tyra Sterns. Apparently, you have a case of jungle fever, my friend. (Matthew's eyes widen) And she's willing to tell this story if you run that story about Mayor Sarandon tonight.
MATTHEW: Fuck you, and your dick.
ETHAN: That's good, let it all out, Matt. But don't let it all out like you did on Tyra's face.
MATTHEW: (Clears throat) The story won't be run.
ETHAN: Good. Because I'm sure there is a kitten stuck in a tree somewhere that the public desperately needs to hear about. Goodbye, Matt.
(Ethan hangs up. Cut to Ethan, Kimberly, Ryan, Jacob and Madeline around the dinner table eating pork chops.)
ETHAN: So, how was everybody's day?
KIMBERLY: Well, I watched a very interesting World War II documentary-
ETHAN: No one cares. Jacob?
JACOB: Oh, I just practiced, dad. Excited for the game on Thursday?
ETHAN: Elated. I can't wait to see how-wait, what sport do you play again?
JACOB: Golf.
ETHAN: Oh, um…on second thought, I think I have a dentist appointment that day.
JACOB: Understandable.
RYAN: What did I do today?
ETHAN: Nobody asked that.
RYAN: I decided I am going to apply for a job.
ETHAN: Oh, good. My boy's taking some initiative. Where?
RYAN: Hot Topic.
ETHAN: And you lost me.
KIMBERLY: Well come on, Ethan, it's not that bad. When are you applying?
RYAN: This weekend with Brennan and Sarah.
JACOB: Well that's bound to create conflict and discord.
RYAN: That's true.
KIMBERLY: How much would it pay?
RYAN: It's actually pretty good pay, eight dollars and forty-six cents an hour.
MADELINE: Impressive.
KIMBERLY: No, it's not because that's actually the new Vermont minimum wage.
ETHAN: Fuckin' liberals, paying my son more than he deserves. How much work goes into working at Hot Topic anyhow? Folding shirts? Folding jeans? Suggesting new techniques for devil worshipping? Work at American Eagle or something.
RYAN: Ugh, no.
ETHAN: What'd you do today, Maddie?
MADELINE: I blanketed the school in Kony 2012 posters with the Invisible Children Club.
ETHAN: Ooh, is Kony some sort of conservative dark horse candidate alternative to Mitt Romney?
MADELINE: No, he's-
JACOB: Dad, he's a Ugandan warlord whose organization, the LRA, has killed, raped and maimed thousands and has raised child armies.
ETHAN: Jesus, why would you support him for President?
MADELINE: We're not supporting him for President, we're trying to raise awareness so Washington politicians can try and stop his atrocities.
ETHAN: Huh…is he at least somewhat conservative?
ETHAN: Fine! Jesus…
KIMBERLY: Ethan, I thought you supported Mitt Romney, I mean; you seemed to be in love with him last week at Mayor Sarandon's mansion.
ETHAN: Yeah, but when I found out Santorum wants to ban porn and Gingrich wants to build a moon colony, I saw Romney as less ambitious. I mean, could you imagine a jail for porn users…on the moon? It would be amazing in a Santorum-Gingrich administration. What is Romney proposing? A moon colony where Josef Smith's reanimated corpse has sex with eleven women at a time? Please.
RYAN: Banning porn, really? It's a multibillion dollar industry which court cases has proved is protected under the first amendment. Plus, it gives women across America much needed self-esteem.
ETHAN: Well, that last part is valid.
KIMBERLY: No it isn't!
ETHAN: Whatever the case may be, I saved Mayor Sarandon's career from dying today. I had to cover up a scandal that was going to air on the news tonight.
JACOB: What was it?
ETHAN: Oh, I'll never tell. (He looks at the camera and winks as the camera zooms in on his face. Slowly, it backs back up to show the full shot)
RYAN: …The fuck are you looking at?
(Fade to black)
© Copyright 2017 NEONETWORK. All rights reserved.
Add Your Comments:
LOL!! Pretty good for the most part. Very creative with the humor. I'm still laught about a steve job... roflmao ahah. great work keep it up. 8/10 good shit... LOL stevejob. aha
lol thanks, stone henge guy. I always appreciate feedback. I'm glad you liked the Stevejob joke, I liked that too lol. It was nice talking to you earlier.
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Williams technical director Sam Michael looks back at the Hungarian GP as F1 enters its summer break
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How would you sum up the performance of the FW33 at the Hungaroring?
Sam Michael:
We have improved since the N?rburgring with some changes we made to the car. That was evident from our dry laptimes but we just didn't pull it together to get points in the race.
How was the car's tyre wear on the soft and super-soft rubber?
Sam Michael:
Our wear rate on the supersoft options was high but on the soft prime tyre it was good.
Both drivers made places away from the line. Did the clean side of the grid help them, or has the team improved its starts?
Sam Michael:
There was not a great deal of difference between the left and right sides of the grid due to the wet weather. Although our starts were good, both drivers then handled the first lap of the race well.
Rubens lost part of his front wing early in the race. What was that part and how did it impact on performance?
Sam Michael:
Rubens' front wing end plate was damaged early on and that degraded badly during the race. It was certainly not good for performance, but we chose not to change it in the early stages of the race because of the additional time loss that would have resulted in us losing the chance to score any points.
Pastor was given a drive-through penalty for speeding in the pitlane at his first pitstop. A technical glitch, or driver error?
Sam Michael:
It was driver error. He didn't push the pit limiter button in time which resulted in him receiving the penalty.
Both drivers stopped for inters on lap 50, only to stop again several laps later for dries. Talk us through that strategy call.
Sam Michael:
The track reached a level of humidity where both drivers called for intermediate tyres. It was raining, but within two laps it started to ease off so it turned out to be the wrong call.
The four-week summer break comes next. How much work can the team do during that time?
Sam Michael:
We have a two week shutdown now but after that we will prepare for Spa-Francorchamps.
The Belgian Grand Prix is the next race on the calendar. What are your hopes for the FW33 at Spa-Francorchamps?
Sam Michael:
We have some new aero parts, front and rear wings plus some suspension updates for Belgium.

subset: commoncrawl


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Defenders of Wildlife has been working to protect our nation's wildlife since 1947.
Understand the threats facing our treasured wildlife and what Defenders is doing to help.
Learn more about the amazing animals and landscapes that make up our nation's wild heritage.
Your contribution will help us save something wild.
Learn what you can do to make a difference for our wildlife and wild places.
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The world of candy blogging has called me back. Maybe it is the expanded appreciation I have now for sweets; working in wilderness therapy, a treat of sugar at night, when all the students are zipped into their sleeping bags, brings a moment of absolute solitude and bliss. Nothing can interrupt the sweet serenity of a well-earned bit of melting chocolate on the tongue. Maybe I am back because it would be selfish and rude to pass up the candy blogging opportunity that every child dreams of… The reasoning is less important than the result, which is that Becca is back, which means the creative blogs that you've been waiting to see more of are back too!
Candy Favorites launches a revised candy blog and a forum devoted exclusively to candy loversFebruary 4, 2010 by Jon Prince
CandyFavorites.com, the Internet's Oldest and Largest Online Candy Store, is Proud to Announce a New Blog and Forum devoted exclusively to candy lovers young and old.
Pittsburgh, PA (PRWEB) February 4, 2010 — CandyFavorites.com, the Internet's oldest and largest candy site is proud to announce the launch of a Sweet Forum which is an forum for candy lovers around the globe as well as a revised candy blog featuring reviews with an emphasis on history and trivia.
"People love candy and I always wanted to launch a forum where people could go and discuss a product that is so linked to good memories." said Jon H. Prince, President, "and with the recent emphasis on nostalgic candy, we are thrilled to offer an updated blog featuring product reviews along with historic insights".
For the next few months, CandyFavorites.com will be awarding a $50 SweetCertificate weekly for the best Candy Memory shared on the new Candy Forum
"Retro candy has never been more popular and I think it will be fun for candy lovers to have a place to go to voice their opinions knowing that it is populated by their peers and read by industry insiders," says Jon H.Prince.
"Our new blog writer, Becca Droz, has added a marvelous educational element to our blog that is seldom encountered on more commercial sites. She loves candy and it shows in her writing."
"When I first started in this industry over thirty years ago, no one could have imagined that there would be a forum devoted to candy. This just shows how rooted candy is in our collective psyche." Says Tom Griffin, General Manager, "and I think that visitors to our website will find this interactive element entertaining and educational."
CandyFavorites.com offers over 2800 varieties of candy, with an emphasis on bulk candy, Brachs Candy and hard to find old-fashioned and classic candy offerings. It also features a unique section devoted to candy related history and trivia.
About McKeesport Candy Co. / CandyFavorites.com
CandyFavorites.com is backed by the McKeesport Candy Company, one of the oldest candy wholesalers in North America. It is one of the internet's largest candy stores and contains over 2800 items in their candy warehouse. It was one of the first online stores to offer an educational section featuring pictures of retro candy advertisements as well as history and trivia of many of the candies offered. www.CandyFavorites.com.


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Nearest Support: $72
Catalyst: CEO Shakeup >>Sell These 5 Toxic Stocks to Avoid a Christmas Crash Mobile chipmaker Qualcomm ( QCOM) is getting high-volume attention today following news that COO Steve Mollenkopf was taking the CEO's desk after being courted for the chief executive role over at Microsoft ( MSFT). Keeping Mollenkopf was important enough to QCOM that the firm is ousting current CEO Paul Jacobs on March 4 of next year to make room for Mollenkopf. That's not to say that Jacobs is against the move -- he had a big role in the decision. Jacobs will remain executive chairman of the board. From a technical standpoint, Qualcomm is currently consolidating in a rectangle pattern with resistance at $74. Look for a breakout above that medium-term price ceiling as a buy signal in this mobile semiconductor giant. To see these stocks in action, check out the at Most-Active Stocks portfolio on Stockpickr. -- Written by Jonas Elmerraji in Baltimore.
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Revista Brasileira de Terapia Intensiva
versión impresa ISSN 0103-507X
SILVA, Aline Rafaele Barros et al. Expiratory peak flow and respiratory system resistance in mechanically ventilated patients undergoing two different forms of manually assisted cough. Rev. bras. ter. intensiva [online]. 2012, vol.24, n.1, pp.58-63. ISSN 0103-507X. http://dx.doi.org/10.1590/S0103-507X2012000100009.
OBJECTIVE: Mechanical ventilation is associated with retained airway secretions. Manually assisted cough contributes to the displacement of bronchial mucus, whereas positive end-expiratory pressure increases collateral ventilation and maintains airway patency. This study aimed to assess the effects of manually assisted cough, either alone or added to increased positive end-expiratory pressure and inspiratory time (optimized manually assisted cough), on the expiratory peak flow and respiratory system mechanics in mechanically ventilated patients. METHODS: In this controlled and randomized clinical trial, respiratory mechanics and expiratory peak flow were assessed in male and female patients undergoing either tracheal suctioning alone, manually assisted cough followed by tracheal suctioning or optimized manually assisted cough followed by tracheal suctioning. RESULTS: Thirty-five patients completed the trial. Respiratory system resistance was significantly reduced after optimized manually assisted cough (16.0 ± 3.6 versus 12.4 ± 3.1 cmH2O/L/s; p = 0.04). The expiratory peak flow during optimized manually assisted cough was significantly higher in comparison with the values observed during manually assisted cough (112.3 ± 15.6 versus 95.8 ± 18.3 Lpm; p < 0.05). Both values were significantly higher than the values observed in the group undergoing tracheal suctioning alone (52.0 ± 7.6 Lpm; p < 0.001). CONCLUSION: Optimized manually assisted cough increases the expiratory peak flow in comparison with manually assisted cough; in addition, this procedure reduces respiratory system resistance.
Palabras clave : Respiratory therapy [methods]; Positive-pressure respiration; Respiration, artificial; Respiratory system [physiopathology].


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Does anyone think it is a good idea to post the name of your competition team to get it out there. I for one am on a team and am new to all of this. It is something my brother-in-law and myself started. I was thinking it would be a good place for amatures to get there name out so people can check them out. Any opinions?
If you think this is a good idea I would like to know.
If you would like to check out our page on Facebook,


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Research Topics
Carrie Masia Warner
Affiliation: New York University
Country: USA
Research Grants
Detail Information
- School-based behavioral treatment for social anxiety disorder in adolescents: results of a pilot studyC L Masia
Child Study Center, New York University School of Medicine, NY 10016, USA
J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry 40:780-6. 2001..To provide preliminary estimates of feasibility and effectiveness for school-based behavioral treatment in adolescents with social anxiety disorder...
- Recall of childhood psychopathology more than 10 years laterCarrie L Masia
New York University School of Medicine, Child Study Center, New York, NY 10016, USA
J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry 42:6-12. 2003..Strengths of this study were that the length of the retest interval was substantial, follow-up information was collected by blind interviewers, and childhood diagnoses were clearly documented...
- School-based intervention for adolescents with social anxiety disorder: results of a controlled studyCarrie Masia-Warner
New York University Child Study Center, NYU School of Medicine, 215 Lexington Avenue 13th Floor, New York, NY 10016, USA
J Abnorm Child Psychol 33:707-22. 2005..Findings support the possible efficacy of school-based intervention for facilitating access to treatment for socially anxious adolescents...
- Treating adolescents with social anxiety disorder in school: an attention control trialCarrie Masia Warner
New York University School of Medicine, Child Study Center, USA
J Child Psychol Psychiatry 48:676-86. 2007..This study evaluates the relative efficacy of a school-based, cognitive-behavioral intervention compared to an educational-supportive treatment for adolescents with social anxiety disorder...
- School-based anxiety treatments for children and adolescentsKathleen Herzig-Anderson
Anita Saltz Institute for Anxiety and Mood Disorders, NYU Child Study Center, Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, NYU Langone Medical Center, One Park Avenue, 8th Floor, New York, NY 10016, USA
Child Adolesc Psychiatr Clin N Am 21:655-68. 2012..Discussion centers on feasibility, challenges to school-based implementation, and future research directions for this critical area...
- CBT for anxiety and associated somatic complaints in pediatric medical settings: an open pilot studyCarrie Masia Warner
Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, NYU Child Study Center, NYU Langone Medical Center, 215 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY, 10016, USA
J Clin Psychol Med Settings 16:169-77. 2009..To examine the initial feasibility and potential efficacy of a cognitive-behavioral intervention for youth with anxiety disorders and non-medical somatic symptoms...
- Preventive intervention for anxious preschoolers and their parents: strengthening early emotional developmentJeremy K Fox
Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, NYU Child Study Center, New York University Langone Medical Center, New York, NY 10016, USA
Child Psychiatry Hum Dev 43:544-59. 2012..Fostering increased willingness to encourage their children to engage in new and anxiety-provoking situations may help promote continued mastery of new skills and successful coping with anxiety...
Research Grants1
- Treatment of Child Anxiety in Nonpsychiatric SettingsCarrie Masia; Fiscal Year: 2006..Findings from this study will be used to inform the Candidate's application for an RO1 to conduct a full-scale study, and to guide the development of intervention programs in pediatric clinics. ..


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1001 Escapes to Experience Before You Die
Barron's, Oct 1, 2009 - Travel - 960 pages
Vacation travelers seeking truly unusual destinations and unforgettable experiences will find a wealth of ideas in this beautiful volume that represent a genuine escape from the merely ordinary.
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ancient Andalucia Argentina ayurveda bathrooms baths beach beautiful bedrooms beds boat boutique hotel Canyon castle century chef coast colorful courtyard cuisine decorated dining elegant enjoy escape explore feel fishing France Website fumishings fumiture gardens guests hammam hideaway hiking hot tub island joumey Kastellorizo kayaking Kielder Water lake landscape lndia Location Lodge lsland ltalian ltaly Website lush luxury Marrakech massage menu Mercantour National Park miles modem mountain Musha Cay National Park natural nearby northem offers outdoor Palace perfect Pousada Price 00 Relax resort restaurant retreat ride River rock romantic rooms sauna sits snorkeling spectacular spot Stay stone stunning style suites surrounding swimming pool terrace tourists town traditional trails tranquil treatments trees U.S.A. Website UNESCO Unwind Valley views village visitors walk walls wildemess wildlife wine wooden World Heritage site yoga


text: Posted February 7, 2013 · Report post Hi guys, I would like someone from this forum to please help me with my question. Recently I had a major cystic acne breakout on my cheeks but the derm I saw gave me Accutane and it's been 3 months and my breakouts have almost completely stopped but I've been left with some shallow ice pick and box car scars on my cheeks which the derm says are not too deep. So I asked him about laser and what improvement I can expect so he told me for my scars anywhere from 60-70%, which seems really good to me but for some reason too good to be true. So please can someone please tell me if 60-70% improvement is possible with lasers or it is a too high an expectation? Can lasers work this well for some people? Thanks you, Vishal Share this post Link to post Share on other sites


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As Hawk watched the Blackfoot warriors attack their Bannock Indian enemies, he was shocked at what he saw. The Blackfoot were attacking not in the helter-skelter Indian manner, but with an organized military precision that could make them the most powerful fighting force in the West. Then Hawk saw the reason why. Mounted on a horse beside the Blackfoot chief, Spotted Pony, was a white man with a cavalry sabre raised high in the air to order the Blackfoot charge. It was James Cantrell.
©1988 Will C. Knott (P)2013 Books in Motion
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PRZOOM - /newswire/ -
Liverpool, Merseyside, United Kingdom, 2012/06/13 - Staycations Ltd, a new UK business specialising in holidays at home, launched a new website this week to create a one-stop-solution for Holidaymakers looking to take a Staycation on some of the most popular Holiday Parks in the UK.
The current economic climate has led to a huge increase in Staycation holidays in the UK. Staycations Ltd realised the need for a new and fully featured website that offers owners of Static Caravans to advertise their caravans for hire. UK Holidaymakers are able to search and browse for caravans to hire, direct from the owners, in England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland.
To live up to the expectations of our customers and our target group of UK Holidaymakers, this one-stop-website has been designed to be extremely user friendly for potential Holidaymakers looking to hire a static caravan. Alongside this, the new website offers Holiday Home owners a unique, feature-rich and easy to use Owner Control Panel to manage their listings, bookings and enquiries., Cheryl Bullock, Director at Staycations Ltd, explained.
Holidaymakers will often find much better deals when renting direct from the owners of holiday homes rather than going through Holiday Park Operators.
The advanced functionality available, the technology behind the site and the competitive pricing structure is what sets staycationcaravans.co.uk apart from other websites offering a similar service. The feedback received from new customers shows that the site could grow to be the most popular UK website for holiday home rentals.
The new place for static caravan rentals
In the current economic climate, more and more people are choosing Staycations (holidaying in the UK) over Vacations. There are many Holiday Park operators out there offering static caravan holidays in the UK, the likes of Haven, Butlins, Park Resorts, Hoseasons etc. But, did you know that the majority of caravans that these companies hire out to holidaymakers are actually privately owned caravans on their parks?
At Staycation Caravans, you have access to a great selection of caravans on popular holiday parks throughout the UK. The caravans listed on the site are placed here by the caravan owners themselves. These owners rent their caravans out privately rather than the Park Operators hiring them out.
So what are the benefits of renting directly from the owner?
- No need to queue at check-in - go directly to your caravan.
- More flexibility on arrival/checkout days and time.
- Worry about allocation-on-arrival? Worry no more! You will know the exact caravan you are staying in before you go.
- Receive that personal touch from someone who cares about your holiday.
- Much better deals available direct from the owner - no commissions added on by the Park Operators
- Often you will find many more 'home comforts' in a privately rented caravan. Items such as games, books, better kitchen facilities etc.
So why not have a browse of the site, find that perfect caravan for you on your ideal Holiday Park - try the advanced search feature to narrow down your search. You can view details of the caravans available to rent, prices, availability, images, videos and reviews. Once you have found the ideal caravan, you can contact the owner through the site to arrange your stay.
Not sure which Park you want to visit? Check out the Park Directory where you can narrow it down by region if you know which part of the UK you want to take your Staycation. The Park Directory contains lots of information about Holiday Parks throughout the UK.
Staycation Caravans (staycationcaravans.co.uk) is a trading name of Staycations Ltd - Registered in England & Wales. Company No. 8057628.
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Hewlett Packard
5 Dec 2012 at 10:51
Did you know that HP likes to volunteer in the community and abroad? camryn helped the HP employees from Arkansas build bikes for children of local military families. Each bike included a personal handwritten note of encouragement from the HP 'bike building' team. It feels great to help others, doesn't it camryn?
With camryn


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Scientific Publications by FDA Staff
Search Publications
Org Mass Spectrom 1985 Jan;20(1):58-60
Chemical ionization of ethylene dibromide with ammonia gas
Cairns T, Siegmund EG
Under ammonia chemical ionization conditions, a fragment ion of ethylene dibromide undergoes a nucleophilic substitution reaction which is demostrated to be highly pressure-dependent upon the reagent gas concentration. This reaction is strongly influenced by the stability of the intermediate carbonium ion and the ability of the substituted product ion to be stabilized by intramolecular hydrogen bonding.
|Category: Journal Article
|Includes FDA Authors from Scientific Area(s): Regulatory Affairs
|Entry Created: 2012-12-14


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A screen adaptation of the story of the same name by Soviet writer Mikhail Sholokhov, a Nobel Prize winner. Andrei Sokolov, the film's protagonist, had lost in the war with fascist Germany his wife and children, had survived the horrors of a concentration camp. He was already being led to be shot, but at the last minute the camp's commandant, Muller, revoked the sentence. After his release from the camp, Andrei Sokolov marched with the Soviet Army as far as Berlin. But Fate would not stop testing him: on Victory Day he got the news of his son Anatoly's death. And in spite of the fact that he seemed to have lost everything, he remained a good human being and became a father to an orphaned boy. The great Russian director and actor Sergei Bondarchuk played the leading character in his own film, which was to become a hymn to human spirit and faith in life.
"Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering," says Tara Brach at the start of this illuminating book.


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NewswireToday - /newswire/ -
Portland, OR, United States, 2011/08/10 - State-of-the-art risk-management solutions and learning management system help increase store safety and reduce insurance costs - viaLanguage.com.
viaLearning, a leader of mobile and online learning services for global companies, announces that together with Grocers Insurance, Argo Insurances U.S. grocery and retail specialty division, they have designed, developed and produced a customized Learning Management System (LMS) and an innovative series of Health & Safety online training modules specifically for grocery stores and supermarkets.
Grocery stores pose a wide variety of hazards for employees; ranging from slipping on wet floors and improperly lifting heavy boxes to mishandling equipment including ovens, fryers, knives and pallet jacks, says Director of viaLearning, Julie Brink. viaLearning is dedicated to meeting our clients own unique learning environments and business needs through state-of-the-art tools, expert consultation, development, delivery, training and support in e-learning.
Focusing on designing the most innovative and impactful solution, these interactive courses cover general topics and information specific to each department (e.g., Deli, Bakery) providing an easy way for store owners to supply training for their employees at times that are convenient for the learner. Additionally, viaLearning developed a LMS that allows Grocers Insurance to control access to the courses and allows their customers to deliver the training to their employees and track their progress (Grocers Insurance does not charge their customers for the training).
Grocers Insurances online Health & Safety training will show their customers employees how to increase store safety, thereby contributing to a more productive workplace. The E-Learning Center provides a structured and consistent method of safety training for our grocery clients, said Grocers President Bill Meisen. Training promotes safe work practices, increases employee safety awareness and prevents customer and worker accidents, which is the key to controlling or reducing insurance costs over time.
Courses include General Supermarket Safety; Cuts & Lacerations Prevention; Slip Trip & Fall Prevention; Lifting & Stock Handling Safety; Bakery/Deli; Meat; Grocery, Stocker and Receiving; Produce; Courtesy Clerk; Cashier & Front End; Store Management Safety Leadership; and OSHA. Spanish language versions of General Supermarket Safety; Cuts & Lacerations Prevention; Slip, Trip & Fall Prevention; and Lifting & Stock Handling Safety are also available.
About viaLearning
viaLearning (vialearning.com) is a leading provider of mobile and online learning services for global companies. viaLearning, a division of viaLanguage, provides learning solutions for Sales and Channel Learning, Compliance Learning, Customer Self-Support and Global Learning. In addition to their world class solutions, viaLearning provides a full line of learning services including Blended Learning, Custom Learning, Mobile Learning, Micro Learning, Course Conversion, Cultural Adaption and Localization and Reporting and Analytics. Completing the offerings is the easy-to-use online viaLearning LMS.
viaLearnings mobile, web and blended training programs engage the workforce and deliver training when and where they need it at a fraction of traditional training cost. viaLearning's expertise in localization coupled with an experienced, process-oriented team ensures the right course is developed to meet the dynamic needs of a global workforce, partners and customers. Clients include: Barclays, Right Management, Cisco, Waste Management, Hewlett-Packard, Nike and many others. Headquarters are located at 700 SW Taylor Street, Suite 310 Portland, OR 97205-3016. For more information, visit the website or call us at 800.737.8481.
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E: Rachel[.]weikumcommunications.com. P: 503-636-4762
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The Morphy Richards Hand Mixer is simple to use and is ideal for helping you with baking and food preparation. With 4 speed settings and turbo function, this mixer is easy to adjust to cater for all types of food preparation. Its high quality and stylish design will add a touch of colour to your kitchen. - A.D.
Please Note: Supplied with a UK three pin plug only.
Please remember to add postal time (2-3 working days) to obtain a complete estimate of delivery to your door.
You will receive an email to confirm when your item has been sent.
You can also check the status of your order and individual items by accessing My Account details and following the prompts.
Please allow 10 working days from dispatch of your order before notifying us of any late deliveries.
It may be advisable to check with your neighbours to see if a parcel has been left with them, check any outhouses you might have where it may be left if it cannot fit through your letterbox and contact your local sorting office to see if the item has been returned to the depot as undelivered and awaiting collection.
Please see our returns policy.
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Celiac Disease and Gluten-Free Diet Support
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- Cognitive Impairment and Celiac Disease
- Rates of Celiac Disease No Higher in Patients with Intellectual Disabilities
Rates of Celiac Disease No Higher in Patients with Intellectual Disabilities
- By Jefferson Adams
- Published 11/5/2010
- Cognitive Impairment and Celiac Disease
- Rating:
Celiac.com 11/05/2010 - To address study data suggesting that people with intellectual disabilities, especially men, suffer high rates of celiac disease, a team of researchers recently set out to assess rates of celiac disease in patients with intellectual disabilities.
The research team included Manouchehr Khoshbaten, Mohammad Rostami Nejad, Shaheed Beheshti, Nasrin Sharifi, Majid Torabi, David Al Dulaimi, Kamran Rostami, and Chris J. Mulder
They are affiliated with the Liver and Gastrointestinal Diseases Research Centre at Emam Reza Educational Hospital in Tabriz, Iran, the Research Center of Gastroenterology and Liver Diseases at University M.C. in Tehran, Iran, the Liver Tabriz Welfare Organization in Iran, Nutritional Research Center at Tabriz University of Medical Sciences in Iran, the School of Medicine at at University Hospital Birmingham, UK, and with the Department of Gastroenterology at VU University Medical Center in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, and with the Department of Gastroenterology, at Alexander Hospital in Redditch, UK.
A number of studies suggest that people with intellectual disabilities, especially men, suffer high rates of celiac disease. To more deeply examine the issue, the research team found 196 patients with intellectual disabilities who were being treated in rehabilitation centers in Iran's province of East Azerbaijan.
The team paired these patients with 196 healthy control subjects, and screened both groups for celiac disease using anti-tissue transglutaminase IgA antibodies (tTGA), total serum IgA levels, and Marsh-Rostami criteria to assess histological results.
Two patients (1%) showed positive tTG screens, while and duodenal biopsies revealed Marsh I levels in one patient, and Marsh 0 in the second.
Three patients showed IgA deficiency, while one showed a positive tTGA screen. Biopsies from this patient revealed a level of Marsh IIIc.
From the control group, just one subject showed positive tTGA, while five cases were IgA deficient. Two of the five IgA deficient patients registered positive tTG screens, but both showed normal histology.
These results show the rates of celiac disease in patients with intellectual disabilities to be 1% with biopsy confirmation, and "no significant differences in frequency of the tTGA positive participants between the study and control groups."
Interestingly, in contrast to the higher rates of gluten sensitivity in male patients affected with intellectual disabilities, male and female patients in this study showed nearly equal rates.
This study shows no difference in rates of celiac disease in patients with intellectual disability compared to those with no intellectual disability, "unless the patients have symptoms or known risk factors for celiac disease such as epilepsy or Down's syndrome."
Thus, the study suggests, general celiac screening of people with intellectual disabilities is unnecessary.
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Older Celiac Patients on Gluten-free Diet Show Reduced Cognitive Performance
Retrospective studies and case reports have suggested that older patients with celiac disease may suffer from impaired cognitive function.... [READ MORE]
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A new study examined Mayo
Clinic medical records for the years 1970 through 2005 to identify eight
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Jefferson Adams
Jefferson Adams is a freelance writer living in San Francisco. His poems, essays and photographs have appeared in Antioch Review, Blue Mesa Review, CALIBAN, Hayden's Ferry Review, Huffington Post, the Mississippi Review, and Slate among others.
He is a member of both the National Writers Union, the International Federation of Journalists, and covers San Francisco Health News for Examiner.com.View all articles by Jefferson Adams
2 Responses:
Marva SiegelRating: ( Author)
said this on
08 Nov 2010 12:53:53 PM PDT
I think this is interesting and I wonder where theories start and what bases they have/or are used for actually treating individuals. It took me months of begging my doctor for a test before he would consent due to my age (48) at the time.
(Comment Replies Disabled)
BrandonRating: ( Author)
said this on
08 Nov 2010 2:10:47 PM PDT
They didn't -gliadin, -endomysial, or IgG- antibody testing. There's way too much assumed to have not fallen through the cracks.
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Thanks for the reply! I never thought about the damage to my system causing the problem with eating other foods - excellent point. Really gives me a lot to think about. With regard to my boys, don't fret for them =) They both eat two meals outside the house Monday through Friday, and of cour...
Is Aldis gluten-free line safe? I know their items are marked gluten free such as the Gluten-Free brand. I tried calling but there was no phone line. Its so cheap so just wondering if anyone ever has problems with aldis brands. Also what are things you get at aldis
At school I've always used liquitex acrylic. Cleans up with water if you clean it immediately. And yes, paint inside. make sure to share pictures!
If this continues for more than another day or so get to your doctor. Go now if you are showing signs of dehydration. Hospitals are full of nasty bacteria and viruses you need to make sure that you haven't picked up something. I hope this resolves for you soon.
There is special transparent paint that you can get for glass. You should be able to find it in a good craft or hobby store. If you use that the window can be enjoyed from both sides. You could also use acrylic paint. That would not be transparent. I avoid Tempra and poster type paints. Yo...


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Most Popular Photo Last Year: August 22, 20132013-08-22 3 3 Share Tweet
A cold and clean pool calls for a relaxing float that will drift your worries away.
Seems like a perfect thing to do when all you can feel is tension! And when you're in there, ask a great Lomographer like juansupergen to capture the moment for you!
Photo shot with Lomo LC-A+ Russia Day using Lomography X-Pro Slide 200 ISO (35mm) film.
written by mayeemayee on 2013-08-22 #news #community-recap #most-popular-photo-last-year


text:
In front of nearly 300 convenience store industry retailers and suppliers, Peter Tedeschi, president and CEO of Tedeschi Food Shops, accepted Convenience Store Decisions' 2012 Convenience Store Chain of the Year award at a banquet in Las Vegas.
Tedeschi is CSD's 23rd Chain of the Year winner, the oldest and most prestigious award offered in the convenience store industry. As is the Chain of the Year tradition, the award was presented to Peter Tedeschi by the previous year's winner, Matt Thornton, president and CEO of Thorntons Inc.
"To be considered for this award is gratifying, but to win this award is nothing short of humbling," Peter Tedeschi said upon accepting the award, which is considered the gold standard in convenience retailing. "Like many of our predecessors that have earned the Chain of the Year distinction, Tedeschi's has a passion for what we do at every level of our company. We have created a culture committed to teamwork and collaboration, and we are focused on people, employees, business partners and our customers."
So who is the company we are honoring? Talk to employees and members of the communities where Tedeschi operates and you will hear terms like honorable, compassionate, committed and a wonderful company to work for. Such adjectives have typically eluded Big Oil companies through the years, but have become competitive distinctions for family-operated convenience store chains.
Tedeschi prides itself on its family roots, compassion for employees and its prolific ability to connect with its customers all day every day.
But great service is just one piece of the pie. Tedeschi has built a rock solid reputation as a top marketer and employer throughout the industry. That all begins with the decades of family leadership. The company is run today by Peter Tedeschi, the grandson of company founder Angelo Tedeschi. During our chain of the year dinner past company leaders, including John Ransom, the first president of Tedeschi's convenience store business; Charlie Fitzgibbons, the former company president; and Allen Reardon, senior vice president of human resources, were on hand to join in the celebration.
A Deserving Honor
Attendees learned firsthand that Tedeschi is a company that lives by its motto "proud of our past, and focused on the future." As it prepares for its 90th anniversary, committed employees represent the heart and soul of the chain, working together in a corporate culture based on strong family values. This focus has allowed the chain to grow to 193 stores and expand mightily in key areas, such as foodservice and new products.
While many retailers struggled in a weakened economy, the Chain of the Year award caps a busy year of growth for Tedeschi. During the year, the chain tripled its capital expenditures to upgrade stores, acquire new properties, further its investment in a company-owned commissary and continue rolling out its extensive line of proprietary products.
Tedeschi's growth has been wide and varied. In my conversations with Peter Tedeschi, he made it clear that he, along with other industry leaders recognized several years ago, felt the industry was changing; that profits from fuel and tobacco weren't going to be enough to sustain the organization in the future; and that success and growth would need to come by offering customers a unique and compelling value proposition.
Peter strongly believes and often talks about the power of the brand. With his family name top of mind with every customer that enters the store, Tedeschi cherishes this relationship with consumers and always goes the extra mile to exceed their expectations.
"My fellow employees, management team and franchisees do whatever is necessary to make us a better company each and every day," he told me. Just walk into a Tedeschi store and you'll see how committed the company is to the customers it serves.
On behalf of Convenience Store Decisions and our Chain of the Year nominating committee, I salute the Tedeschi team for its outstanding work.


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It's a boy for Vince Vaughn!
The actor, 43, and his wife Kyla Weber welcomed a son, Vernon Lindsay Vaughn, on Wednesday, a rep for the actor confirms to ABC News. The baby weighed 8 lbs., 4 oz. at birth and was 21 inches long.
In June, "The Internship" actor told ABC News in June that they hadn't learned the baby's gender in advance: "We'll find out on the day!" he said.
Vaughn and Weber, who wed in 2010, also have a daughter, Locklyn, 2.
"The whole family is so excited to welcome this sweet boy into the world," a friend of the family told People magazine, which broke the news. "I am sure Vince will have Vernon out on the ball field in no time!"


text:
Alchemy and Meggy Swann (Paperback)
Houghton Mifflin, 9780547577128, 167pp.
Publication Date: October 25, 2011
About the Author
Praise For Alchemy and Meggy Swann…
(1995, both Clarion) will not be disappointed
"Writing with admirable economy and a lively ability to re-create the past believably, Cushman creates a memorable portrayal of a troubled, rather mulish girl who begins to use her strong will in positive ways."--Booklist, starred review
"Queen Elizabeth I is on the throne. London is a sprawling, chaotic city that teems with all manner of humanity. Meggy has come to London ostensibly to serve her alchemist father, a man she has never met. When he rejects her because she is not male and because she is unable to walk normally, she needs all her pluck and determination to rise above her plight...Cushman has the uncanny ability to take a time and place so remote and make it live. Readers can hear and see and smell it all as if they are right beside Meggy. She employs the syntax and vocabulary of the period so easily that it is understood as if it's the most contemporary modern slang. A gem."--Kirkus, starred review
"Cushman adds another intrepid, resourceful, courageous girl to her repertoire in this tale set in 16th-century London...Her courage and confidence grow with each obstacle overcome. Cushman fans who loved Catherine, Called Birdy (1994) and The Midwife's Apprentice (1995, both Clarion) will not be disappointed"--School Library Journal, starred review
"Cushman's (Catherine, Called Birdy) newest novel has all the elements that have made her earlier books so beloved. With flawless historical prose, Cushman introduces Meggy Swann....There is no unequivocally happy ending for Meggy, but a better life awaits her, and readers will gladly accompany her on the journey."--Publishers Weekly


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If you are curious about what those hex markings mean on your ancestors' tombstones, Laurie Ackels volunteered to look them up in her copy.
Jeni Buckles
1. Kirchen-Buch, Church Record Book of the Vereins-Kirche, 1849-1870. A
Translation by Ella A. Gold. Translation of original German records of the
Fredericksburg, Gillespie county TX community church. Includes baptisms,
confirmations, marriages and deaths. (Index)
2. Records of Der Friedhof Cemetery, Established 1846, Fredericksburg
Texas. Name, date of birth, date of death and location of tombstones in the
Fredericksburg City Cemetery from 1846 to 1990. (index)
3. Greenwood Cemetery, compiled by Fredericksburg Genealogical Society.
Name, maiden name, notes, date of birth, date and marriage, and location of
tombstones. Includes index for maiden surnames. 1894 to Feb 1994. (index)
4. Pioneers in God's Hills, Vols. I & II, published by Gillespie County
Historical Society. Stories and biographies of families of Fredericksburg TX
and Gillespie co. TX. Also includes 1850 and 1860 census listings, ship list
extractions. Names from biographies are indexed. (Vol. I - Index) (Vol. 2 - Index)
5. Old Homes and Buildings of Fredericksburg by Elise Kowert. Collection of
newspaper articles of the history of homes (includes owners and heirs) in
Fredericksburg in Gillespie county, Texas. Incomplete index.
6. Fredericksburg, Texas..., The First Fifty Years, A Translation of
Penniger's 50th Anniversary Festival Edition. Translation of original
document published during the 50th anniversary celebration of the founding
of Fredericksburg. Various stories and pictures. (index)
7. The Gillespian, journal of the Fredericksburg Genealogical Society.
Issues include St. Mary's Catholic Cemetery survey, early Gillespie county
marriage records, 1870 census index, family group sheets, and some church
8. 75th Year Jubilee of St. Mary's Parish Fredericksburg, Texas by Rev. H.
Gerlach. A short history of the parish from 1846-1921. A list of the
founding members of the parish and a list of parish families and single men
in 1921. Also a list of members of St. Anthony's parish in Harper in 1921. (index)
9. A New Land Beckoned German Immigration to Texas, 1844 to 1847 by Chester
W. and Ethel H Geue. List of the German Immigrants to Texas 1844-1847.
10. Ludwig Heinrich and Lisette Lehmann Schmidt. Compiled by Ruth Schmidt
Dyar. Decendants of Ludwig and Lissette Schmidt from Neu Klockenhagen,
Mecklenburg, Germany.
11. The Schmidt - Wahrmund Family History 1789-1988 by Erna Schmidt
Schneider. Includes the families of Mathias and Elizabeth Schmidt and Louis
Wahrmund and Susanna Ressmann Wahrmund.
I maintain a large database of the descendants of George SIFFORD. Joshua Green SIFFORD (1873-1952) and his wife, Maggie Mahalia SUTHERLAND (1881-1957) lived on Morris Ranch, Gillespie Co., TX and had 15 children: Fred Lee; Bernice; Rosamond, Sterling Benton; Maggie Ruth; Julia Estelle; Marion Otis; Howard A.; Lois Ellendee; Russell G.; Ford D.; Gladys Alberta; Joshua Green, Jr. (actually the 3rd); Phannita Christine; and Ella Alvira. I am willing to help anyone researching this line or who thinks that they may tie into this line.
I have the following books available to do lookups. In addition, I have a family tree that encompasses Gillespie, Comal and Guadalupe Counties although the Guadalupe County side is a little weak. The families I have been researching are ALTHAUS, KOEPP, WAHL, KEYSER, ROEDER and numerous others that have been added in the research. http://www.familytreemaker.com/users/k/e/y/Thomas-F-Keyser/
This pictorial history begins with conversations of emmigration in the drawing rooms of Germany and tracks the settlers from their homeland to the Texas shores on the Gulf of Mexico, and finally to the hill country of Texas where peace with the indians was established.
Beyond the early days of settlement lies one hundred fifty years of growth in Gillespie County which can be viewed on each page of this book.
Full-color edition $38.95 plus $2.89 TX sales tax.
Leather-bound edition $100.00 plus $8.25 TX tax.
Add $5.00 shipping handling for domestic delivery by mail.
Send your check, name and address to:
Gillespie County Historical Society
312 W. San Antonio Street
Fredericksburg, TX 78624


text:
Product Summary
Emulex OneConnect OCe11102-FX dual-port 10Gb/s Fibre Channel over Ethernet (FCoE) Converged Network Adapters (CNAs) with copper interconnects consolidate storage traffic over a converged network, lowering capital expense (CapEx) and operational expense (OpEx). Based on the third-generation BE3 controller, the OCe11102-FX supports full FCoE and TCP/IP protocol offloads, and leverages Emulex field-proven Host Bus Adapter (HBA) drivers and management applications.
General Information
|Product Type
|10Gigabit Ethernet Card
|Manufacturer Part Number
|Manufacturer Website Address
|Emulex Corporation
|Product Model
|Product Name
|OneConnect OCe11102-F 10Gigabit Ethernet Card
|Product Line
|Brand Name
|Host Interface
|PCI Express x8
I/O Expansions
|Number of Total Expansion Slots
|Number of SFP+ Slots
Network & Communication
|Network Technology
Physical Characteristics
|Form Factor
|Card Height
|Green Compliant
|Green Compliance Certificate/Authority
|China RoHS
This product is shipped only within Canada and Warranty valid for Canada only.
Computer Valley makes every effort to provide accurate specifications, descriptions, images and price on all products that are found on www.computervalley.ca
However for complete and updated descriptions, compatibilities, specifications and actual photo we recommend our clients to consult with manufacturer's websites or simply call us for proper clarifications. Computer Valley is not responsible and will not accept returns for items purchased that are not compatible with your system. Please ensure that you have verified compatibility and actual photo with your system by visiting the manufacturer's web site prior to purchase or give us a call to make sure what you are purchasing.
For more information, visit our Shipping and Return policy.
Computer Valley wants to provide you with the best and fastest possible service. We try to ship in stock orders placed before 2:00pm EST the same day. For in stock orders placed after 2:00pm EST they are usually shipped the next business day. However there are always exceptions. Please contact us prior to placing your order if you need your purchase by a certain date.
We ship by UPS, FEDEX, USPS, CANADA POST , PUROLATOR and LOOMIS from the nearest locations possible based on stock in hand.
Please note: Computer Valley reserves the rights to accept and cancel any order at anytime due to pricing error or any other reason. An email will be sent as a confirmation of the order status.
|Read Reviews Write Review


text:
Printer Repair Questions? Ask IT Technicians for Answers ASAP
Hi, I'm Robert and I'll be helping you with your printer question.
what kind of printer is it ?
Usually there is a way in to just about everyplace in a printer without pulling it apart. Not always but usually. If it is a laser jet have you tried pulling the toner cartridge and going in through the top?
It is a Canon Pixma MG5320
There are 5 cartridges that cruise across on a belt. Can I physically move them or how to how move them? However, it looks solid below the path that they follow...I see no entrance.
that is an inkjet not a laserjet
there should be a back door to it that you can pull down
If that doesn't work I think its going to be hard to get to. I doubt the bottom will come right off. you probably have to take the casing off the top ( probably some plastic snaps or screws locking it to the bottom. but it might not do you much good as the entire printer is still going to be in the way.
I would definitely look towards going in from the back instead.
I don't consider this an answer and do not want to pay $38 for something I knew already! I have tried to get in and can't. So, I don't think you helped me at all. I thought you would be able to tell me exactly how to get inside the printer.
I cant find a repair manual for that printer. I am going to opt out here and maybe somebody else will have an answer that you like. My feeling is that printer is not really large enough for there to not be a door to get to a full piece of card stock. But if you say there is not than I am not going to argue with you.
have a nice day somebody else will work with you and you will get a notice when they have an answer for you.
There is 1/2 sheet paper somewhat lighter than card stock in there...more like construction paper. How do I get in there? I would be happy to discontinue this discussion if I could just get a full refund. Maybe you guys can't really help me with this and should just return my money, ok?
have you gone through the standard paper jam instructions? I was trying to pull them up for you but the canon site was having issues. I can try again in a little bit and see if I can get to them. But there are usually a few covers that open up and between them they get to just about everywhere in the printer.
What happens if you just turn it on and off sometimes it will eject a page on its own doing its post routine when it starts up.
I have turned in on and off many times. So far, I know nothing more from you than I knew already. WAs hoping to find someone who knew how to get into the printer. I took 4 screws off the back and it merely loosened two corner pieces.
I think we should quit and decide you cannot help me. Please refund my money. I'll have to find a repairman who can look at it physically for me.
the rear door opens up and then there is a little piece that pulls out to give you access that way
Remove the paper following the procedure below.
there is also a way to get in underneath the ink cartridges
every way to get in there is on this page. I just don't believe that the printer is large enough to not be able to get a half a page of paper without removing the cover.


text: John William Harker Unknown date of birth - Died 19 August 1915 PDF Key details Service number12/1653 AWMM Also known as Armed force / branchArmy AWMM Last rankWW1 Private AWMMAuckland Infantry Battalion AWMM WarWorld War I, 1914-1918 AWMM Enquire Lay a poppy Nominal Roll Vol 1, Page: 303 - No known copyright restricti … Read more View gallery Hide sources Show empty fields Identity About Contribute › Title ForenamesJohn William AWMM SurnameHarker AWMM Ingoa Also known as Service number12/1653 AWMM GenderMale AWMM Iwi Hapū Waka Rohe Religion Images and documents Images Contribute › Report › Report › Report › Report › Report › Report › Report › Documents Contribute › Civilian life About birth Contribute › Date of birth Place of birthHokitika, West Coast, South Island, New Zealand AWMM Birth notesHokitika, Westland, New Zealand AWMM Occupation before enlistment Post war occupation Address before enlistmentUnknown C/o C.M. Gleeson, Taupiri, New Zealand AWMM Next of kin on embarkationMrs Charlotte Harker (mother), Hokitika, New Zealand AWMM Relationship statusPre 14 Feb 1915 Single AWMM Service Wars and conflicts Contribute › WarWorld War I, 1914-1918 AWMM Campaign Armed force / branchArmy AWMM Service number12/1653 AWMM Military service Promotions/ Postings/ Transfers Military decorations Contribute › Medals and Awards Training and Enlistment Contribute › Military training EnlistmentWW1 Unknown AWMMAuckland, New Zealand AWMM Age on enlistment Embarkations Contribute › Embarkation detailsWW1 14 Feb 1915-26 March 1915 AWMM from Wellington, New Zealand AWMM to Suez, Egypt AWMM HMNZT 17 or HMNZT 18 or HMNZT 19 AWMMVessel was Maunganui or Tahiti or Aparima AWMMPrivate AWMMAuckland Infantry Battalion AWMM3rd Reinforcements AWMM Prisoner of war Contribute › Capture details Days interned Liberation date POW liberation details POW serial number Medical history Contribute › Medical notesDied of Sickness, Cause of Death AWMMDied of enteric AWMM Last known rank Contribute › Last rankWW1 Private AWMMAuckland Infantry Battalion AWMM Biographical information Biographical information Contribute › Son of the George and Charlotte Harker. AWMMBrother of Hugh Harker Public - Danae - Other Relative - 25 April 2015 - Family oral and pictorial history, family papers. Death About death Contribute › Age at death25 AWMM Date of death19 August 1915 AWMM Cause of deathDied of Sickness AWMM Place of deathMalta, Mediterranean Sea, Europe AWMM Death notesMalta ex Gallipoli AWMM Cemetery namePieta Military Cemetery, Malta AWMM Grave referenceA. VII. 6. AWMM Memorial name Memorial reference Obituary Roll of Honour Remember John William Harker by laying a poppy. Jack Stanley Harker John Robert Harker John William Harker Leslie Percival Harker Malcombe Regus Knightly Harker Lay a poppy for 2017 Leave a note Leave a tribute or memory of John William Harker Leave a note Contribute › Processing John was the brother of my Great great grandfather. Hugh Harker was the father of my grandmother Ella Harker. Moe mai rā. Public - Danae - Other Relative - 25 April 2015 Report My Mothers Maiden Name : Jean Charlotte Harker. John was Grandfathers brother. Public - Graham - Other Relative - 20 April 2015 Report Sources Sources Contribute › External linksCommonwealth War Graves Commission.http://www.cwgc.orgSources UsedMilitary personnel filehttp://www.archway.archives.govt.nz/ViewFullItem.do?code=16791670Further ReferenceRoll of honour; Portraits of New Zealand soldiers killed, wounded, or missing at Gallipoli, Turkey. Auckland Weekly News, 21 October 1915, top of page 44. Alexander Turnbull Library Ref: 1/2-168357-F.http://beta.natlib.govt.nz/records/23078407Further ReferenceFamNet: The Family History Network record pagehttp://famnet.net.nz/login_pages/Cenotaph.aspx?Systemid=C6370Further ReferenceRoll of Honour, Auckland Province (digital copy), 1914 - 1919, Auckland War Memorial Museum Library, MS-2016-2http://www.aucklandmuseum.com/collections-research/collections/record/am_library-manuscriptsandarchives-11061Further Reference DocumentsNew Zealand Army Expeditionary Force. (1914-1919). Nominal Rolls of New Zealand Expeditionary Force, Volume I. Wellington, N.Z.: Govt. Printer. AWMMVol1: 303 AWMMBeattie, P.J. & Pomeroy, M. (2013-2015). Onward : portraits of the New Zealand Expeditionary Force (vols 1-3). Auckland, New Zealand: Fair Dinkum Publications AWMMVol. 1: Includes portrait AWMM Contributors Processing Command item Command item Add new record Refresh DateNameLocationRelationshipContact 06 May 2015Graham Leonard GreymouthOther Relative 25 April 2015DanaeŌhope AotearoaOther Relative 20 April 2015GrahamGreymouth, New ZealandOther Relative


text:
West Virginia requires landlords to make the following disclosure to tenants:
Nonrefundable fees. The purpose of all nonrefundable fees or deposits(which are legal in West Virginia, unlike many states) must be stated in writing. Any fee or deposit not designated as nonrefundable is refundable. (W.Va. Code § 37-6A-1(14) Nonrefundable fee must be expressly agreed to in writing.
Check the West Virginia statute (W. Va. Code § 37-6A-1) for details on these disclosures. See the Laws and Legal Research section of Nolo for advice on finding and reading statutes and court decisions.
Also, check your local ordinance for any city or county disclosure requirements. To find yours, check your city or county website (many are listed on State and Local Government on the Net), or contact the office of your mayor, city manager, or county administrator.
Finally, see the Required Landlord Disclosures article for details on federally-required landlord disclosures and other information on disclosures about the rental property.


text:
Jesus Christ is the ultimate manifestation of the love of the Father, and we become his true disciples only as we follow in his footsteps in our demonstration of love.
Theme Analysis
Man becomes like the god he serves.
If he serves the world and Satan, his life and countenance become expressions of the same.
When his life is an attempt to follow the Savior, he begins to overcome the world.
As he overcomes the world, he takes on the attributes of Deity and begins to express the pure love of Christ.
- 1.
The true disciple is known by the quality of love he gives in his service to others.
Only through Christlike service, which is nothing less than organized love, do we obtain the powers of godliness.
Study Sources
New Testament Reading Assignment
Matthew 26:1, 2, 6-35; Mark 14:3-31; Luke 22:1-38; John 12:2-8, 13:1-38
Course Manual
Chapter 23, "As I Have Loved You"
Standard Works
D&C 93:20. What is the only way in which men may receive of the fulness?
D&C 20:18, 19. Who are men commanded to serve?
Mosiah 2:17. How does one serve God?
D&C 4:3. What is the criterion necessary to be called to the service of God?
D&C 4:2. To what degree must we serve?
1 John 3:17, 23, 24. If one only halfheartedly serves the Lord, who is he really serving?
Mosiah 4:11-23. What must we do in order to gain the ability to give true service?
D&C 76:5-10. What is the promise to those who totally serve the Lord?
D&C 20:31. How does one become sanctified? 1 John 2:5, 10; 4:10-12, 16, 17. How can we face the day of judgment with boldness?
Basic Library
Jesus the Christ, pp. 591-609. How was the Savior's commandment to love of a higher order?
M of F, pp. 19-21. Why is it impossible to serve God and mammon?
M of F, pp. 92-99. How can we be damned by doing nothing?
DS, 2:117-19. Does one give Christlike service when magnifying the priesthood?
Gos. Doc., pp. 251-57. How does one's service to others bring honor to oneself?
Discourses, pp. 271-79. How much like angels should the Saints live?
A of F, pp. 526-27. How does charity fulfill the law of service?
Teachings, pp. 313-16. With what will the Lord bless those who love?
Teachings, pp. 241-42. Besides relieving the poor, what is the responsibility of the Relief Society?
Additional Sources
Loren C. Dunn, New Era, May 1972, pp. 4-5. "Make Your Summers Count." An analysis on how to make a service project into Christlike service.
Media Suggestions
Jerusalem and the Upper Room
The Law of Sacrifice and the Sacrament Center in Christ
From the Passover to the Sacrament
Some Suggestions for Presentation
The Service Rendered by the Lord Was to Assist Others in Becoming like Him
(Note: Lesson 49 also has a service/love theme.)
The teacher could ask the question, What was special about the kind of service Christ rendered during his ministry? The answer could be achieved through the use of scriptural analysis. Using John 13:4-17, the washing of the apostles feet, and Matthew 26:26-29, the institution of the sacrament, the class could focus on acts of service Christ rendered during the Last Supper as a type of his whole ministry. The class would be analyzing the scriptures to find answers to the posed question. Among other answers, two are important: (1) the Savior set the example as to how we are to serve, and (2) his service was to assist others in becoming like him.
To Give Christlike Service, One Must Be Striving to Live a Christlike life
To assist the class in gaining the concept that one cannot render Christlike service unless he indeed is striving to become as the Savior, the instructor could ask one of his students to give another student that which neither of them have. For example, in a class which meets just before lunch the instructor could ask one student to give another some food to help appease his hunger until he can get to lunch. At another time, the teacher may wish to ask a student to give another a pen with green ink. (Almost anything will do, provided the student does not have the item.) When the student states he cannot give what he does not have, the point can be made that one cannot render Christlike service unless he is striving to become like our Savior. This could become the basis for a discussion on how a Latter-day Saint can render service which brings others closer to Christ or helps them become more like the Savior.
Latter-day Saints Should Render Service Which Assists Others in Becoming Christlike
There are many forms of service that can be rendered, but the most important service anyone can render is that which lifts another toward Christ.
The teacher may wish to have the students consider how they could turn their service into a means to assist others in drawing nearer to God. A chalkboard diagram could prove helpful.
When We Oft Our Fellowman, We Serve God (See Mosiah 2:17.)
Service to Man
Visit a home for the elderly
Home teaching or visiting teaching
(Others suggested by students)
Service to God
Have a message that centers on the gospel theme.
Design a program to build testimony.
Distribute uplifting literature to those who can read.
- a.
Preplan with the spiritual welfare of the family in mind.
Teach a message by the Spirit.
Leave a prayer in the home.
- a.
(Others suggested by students)


text: French Current Account Deficit Narrows In October 12/12/2012 2:57 AM ET France's current account deficit narrowed in October, mainly due to increase in surplus on trade in services, data from Bank of France showed Wednesday. The deficit fell to EUR 2.8 billion in October from EUR 3.4 billion in September. According to the central bank, the improvement is mainly due to an increase in surplus on services trade to EUR 2.8 billion from EUR 2.1 billion. The deficit on goods account rose marginally to EUR 5.1 billion from EUR 5 billion a month earlier. Income account showed a surplus of EUR 2.7 billion, higher than EUR 2.6 billion in the previous month. by RTT Staff WriterFor comments and feedback: email@example.com NewsWhat parts of the world are seeing the best (and worst) economic performances lately? Click here to check out our Econ Scorecard and find out! See up-to-the-moment rankings for the best and worst performers in GDP, unemployment rate, inflation and much more. 8 Pharma Stocks that Made Headlines This Week Killer Progress: 10 Jobs Endangered By Artificial Intelligence America's 10 Worst Cities to Retire


text:
Feb. 7, 2012
WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. - Purdue seniors Robbie Hummel and Brittany Rayburn are finalists for the Lowe's Senior CLASS Award, an honor that recognizes excellence both on and off the court. Purdue is the only school to have both a men's and women's basketball player as finalists and currently Rayburn holds a slight lead in the fan voting, while Hummel is in second place by a 1.6 percent.
Your vote matters, as fan balloting counts for one-third of the total tabulation with the remaining two-thirds determined by NCAA Division I coaches and national media members. Fans can vote daily at both seniorclassaward.com and the Lowe's Senior CLASS Award Facebook page through midnight CT March 18. You may vote once per day on all your devices, including smartphones, on the website and once per day on Facebook.
Hummel leads the Boilermakers with averages of 15.2 points, 6.2 rebounds and 1.3 blocks per game this season. The two-time first-team All-Big Ten selection and 2010 All-American currently ranks sixth in program history with 754 rebounds and 18th in scoring with 1,549 points.
Rayburn leads the Boilermakers in scoring for third-straight year and was named National Player of the Week and Big Ten Player of the Week after she tied a 17-year-old NCAA women's basketball record with 12 three-pointers at Minnesota on Jan. 12. The Attica, Ind., native is eighth in career scoring with 1,629 points and third for three-pointers with 183. This season she is averaging 14.0 points, 4.3 rebounds and 2.1 assists per game, while carrying a 3.7 cumulative GPA as an animal sciences major with a minor in biology.
To be eligible for the Lowe's Senior CLASS Award, a student athlete must be a senior at a Division I institution and have notable achievements in four areas of excellence - community, classroom, character and competition.
An acronym for Celebrating Loyalty and Achievement for Staying in School, the Lowe's Senior CLASS Award focuses on the total student-athlete and encourages students to use their platform in athletics to make a positive impact as leaders in their communities.
Men's Top Five - Lowe's Senior CLASS Award Standings (as of Feb. 7)
1. Draymond Green, MSU - 21%
2. Robbie Hummel, Purdue - 19.6%
3. Ronald Nored, Butler - 16.6%
4. Tyler Zeller, North Carolina - 12.5%
5. Zack Novak, Michigan - 9.1%
Women's Top Five - Lowe's Senior CLASS Award Standings (as of Feb. 7)
1. Brittany Rayburn, Purdue - 21.7%
2. Emily Johnson, UC Santa Barbara - 19.6%
3. Natalie Novosel, Notre Dame - 14%
4. Lauren Edwards, Princeton - 10.4%
5. Justine Raterman, Dayton - 8.3%


text:
Welcome to E-Books Directory
This is a freely downloadable e-book.
A Guide to Genetics and Health
Read this book online or download it here for free
A Guide to Genetics and Health
Publisher: Genetic Alliance 2006
Number of pages: 24
Genetics helps to explain: What makes you unique, or one of a kind; Why family members look alike; Why some diseases like diabetes or cancer run in families; How learning your family health history can help you stay healthy; Why you should bring your family health history to your healthcare provider.
More Sites Like This
|Science Books Online
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text:
Killian Eng's 'The Planet Chamber'August 20, 2014
View Gallery
A new piece from an old favorite of ours, Stockholm, Sweden based illustrator Killian Eng recently released an insane 7 color screenprint with our friends over at Evil Tender entitled 'The Planet Chamber'. This is his first limited edition art print and is a gorgeous example of his creative capabilities. It will be available until the run sells out, so do the right thing.


text:
I Love Everything Web
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by Sue Austreng
Staff Writer
Like a happy wanderer, Jesse Hendrickson travels along life's winding road, watching stories unfold and meeting fascinating characters along the way.
Sometimes those stories are his own, the lead character he himself. Other times, Hendrickson is simply a bystander, witnessing the joy and celebration, tragedy and pain of another.
Those stories accompany Hendrickson like faithful companions as he travels life's highways and now, one of those stories has taken on a life of its own.
You see, Hendrickson co-wrote a screenplay several months ago, entered it into the Smashcut! Screenplay Contest and was named 2011 Smashcut! Overall Winner out of some 600 entrants.
The prize: a trip to last month's Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, with an opportunity to hobnob with writers and producers, directors and film makers.
"There are so many stories… I knew I wanted to write something. First I wanted to write a children's book, then I thought about writing a screenplay and that's when I called my mom," said Hendrickson, an Adams Elementary School, Coon Rapids, special education teacher whose mother is the author of a few screenplays herself.
And so, Hendrickson and his mother, Laurel Aarsvold of Laguna Beach, Calif., put their heads together, put pen to paper and crafted "Editing Chase Parker."
It's the story of a children's book author who finds himself in a downward spiral after the death of his father, a man who had also served as illustrator for his son's children's books.
When the downtrodden author becomes acquainted with an artistically talented teenager, life for both begins to turn around.
"It's kind of a dramedy, but really it's a redemption story," Hendrickson said.
Close to home
"Editing Chase Parker" is set in the Twin Cities and scenes include the main character's Columbia Heights home, Psycho Suzi's restaurant in downtown Minneapolis and Cedar Avenue's Triple Rock Social Club.
Local folks also show up in the screenplay, including "Principal Tammi," head of an elementary school that plays a small part in the movie. (Jeremy Tammi is principal of Adams Elementary, where Hendrickson works.)
The special education teacher said his work at Adams played an instrumental part in his screenplay-writing endeavor.
He said teaching his students how to write a story also educated him as to the proper way to write a screenplay.
"Only through teaching kids how to write did I really get into it," Hendrickson said.
As Hendrickson wrote the screenplay, he also read books on how to structure such a story, he said.
"And I learned the secret to making a good movie is making the characters real and making them relatable without being predictable," Hendrickon said.
"Editing Chase Parker" is a story rated PG-13 and suitable for 18- to 35-year-olds, he said.
Production plans
Hendrickson said he and his screenplay partner/mother have been thinking about self-producing their movie.
Imagining his screenplay showing on the big screen, Hendrickson said he would like to see Ryan Gosling play the lead part with Will Smith's son Jaden playing the part of the teenage boy.
"Of course, that's just wild thinking, but you've got to dream," Hendrickson said.
Dreams, in fact, sometimes produce results. While at the Sundance Film Festival, Hendrickson and his mother met an actor who took a liking to the screenplay.
"So something might come of it. You never know," said Hendrickson.
To read more about the Sundance Film Festival, visit www.sundance.org/festival.
To learn more about the Smashcut Screenplay Contest, visit www.smashcutter.com.
Sue Austreng is at [email protected]


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Events Calendar
Cocktails & Conversation
- Date:
- November 8, 2012
- Start:
- 6:00pm
- End:
- 7:30pm
- Save to your calendar:
- iCalendar (.ics)
- Location:
- AT&T Executive Education and Conference Center
- Event type:
- Reception
- For more info:
- Please contact Deb Freeman at 512-232-2162 or email@example.com.
- Share this event:
- Tweet
UT Law students and alumni are invited to attend the CSO's 15th Annual Cocktails & Conversation networking reception, which provides the perfect opportunity to meet and network in a casual setting with UT Law alumni and friends. Student parking provided. Free street parking and UT Shuttle (40 Acres) is also available. The AT&T Conference Center is located on campus at 1900 University Blvd. at MLK Blvd. This is a great way to expand your network, so don't miss out! Dress is business casual. RSVP by Wednesday, November 7, on UT Law Symplicity by selecting the "Events" tab.
Sponsored by Lateral Link.
- Specific audiences:
- Texas Law students
- Texas Law alumni
- Sponsored by:
- Career Services
If you need an accommodation to participate in this event, please contact the sponsor listed above or the Texas Law Special Events Office at email@example.com no later than seven business days prior to the event.