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New Year's Eve, 2004, London. Daniel, a 25-year-old lawyer is preparing to go out to a house party. Unlike previous years though, Daniel feels uneasy about going out, getting drunk and snorting a few lines of coke. The Boxing Day tsunami has touched a nerve.
New Year's Eve, 2004, London. Daniel, a 25-year-old lawyer is preparing to go out to a house party. Unlike previous years though, Daniel feels uneasy about going out, getting drunk and snorting a few lines of coke. The Boxing Day tsunami has touched a nerve.
The text message he sends to his friends reads: "I know I've talked to some of you about this already but I think before we all go out and have fun tonight we should donate some money to the tsunami appeal. Have a good New Year."
Cash donated, Daniel and friends meet at a party in Clapham, south London. The three-storey terraced house is packed with 20-somethings determined to see the New Year in in style. On the first floor, a DJ bites his lip in concentration behind his decks, searching for the right tune in his collection to play as the clock strikes midnight.
Downstairs, the fridge is soon overflowing with cans of beer, bottles of wine and various mixers to go with the bottles of assorted spirits that are stacked along the counter. Spliffs are smoked, pills swallowed, and in the corner, Susie and Tom carefully crush and chop out four lines of cocaine on the back of the new Streets CD. Tightly rolling up a crisp £10 note - they reject the crumpled fiver offered by a random bloke hoping to be offered a line himself - the two friends take it in turns to snort the coke up the left nostril, then the right. Half an hour later, their speed of conversation has picked up a notch and Tom is laughing a bit louder.
As the night wears on, the two grams they have bought with four other friends at a rather pricey £120 (even drugs are a rip-off on New Year's Eve), are gradually sniffed away.
They aren't the only ones doing it. The queues for the toilets are suspiciously long, with groups of two or three, sometimes four, coming out wide-eyed and itchy-nosed. By early morning, no one is bothering with the toilets anymore - partygoers are openly snorting from the dining-room table.
In the 1980s, it was deemed social suicide to turn up at a dinner party with a bottle of South African wine tucked under your arm. Such is the stigma surrounding coffee that today even Starbucks offers the fair-trade variety. And yet the same people who think twice before buying clothes at Gap, consider the eco-efficiency of the engine when buying a car, and never fail to fill their recycling bin with newspapers and bottles are contributing funds to a bloody and remorseless civil war that has decimated the fourth biggest country in Latin America.
Colombia is the world's largest cocaine producer. Some 650 tons is smuggled out each year. Around 80 per cent of the cocaine sold and snorted in the UK comes from the country and the British government spends £900,000 a year on counter-narcotics activity there.
Earlier this month, Sir Ian Blair, the new chief constable of the Metropolitan Police said the price of cocaine snorted in trendy Soho bars was "blood on the roads to Colombia".
"For the middle-class drug users, and all drug users that inhabit London's bars and clubs, it's not the pounds that they have spent, it's the misery they are causing. People die for cocaine and people must understand this," he said.
Colombians don't need to be told. For 17 peasants living in a small village outside Tame, close to the border with Venezuela, New Year's Eve 2004 was a little different. The seven men, six women and four children were celebrating the dawn of 2005 when Marxist guerrillas burst in. They claimed that the villagers were co-operating with right-wing paramilitaries before opening fire and murdering them all.
None of the 17 peasants who died in a hail of gunfire on 31 December had been to Britain. No one polishing off line after line of cocaine at the party in Clapham had been to Colombia. And yet, however indirect the link may be, what Daniel, Susie and Tom - and the 275,000 other Britons who regularly take cocaine - were doing on New Year's Eve, contributed towards the deaths of those 17 Colombians.
Colombia is Latin America's most established democracy. In a continent blighted by a succession of military coups, Colombia has experienced just four years of dictatorship in more than a century. Despite this, civil war has not been uncommon. Around 120,000 people died during the "war of a thousand days" at the start of the 20th century, and more than 250,000 were killed during a civil war which spanned the 1950s. The 1960s saw two left-wing guerrilla groups set up - the National Liberation Army (ELN) and the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (Farc). The initial aim of both was to establish Colombia as a socialist state. Right-wing paramilitary groups, notably the United Self-Defence Forces of Colombia (AUC), claimed that it was simply trying to crush the guerrillas, but it wasn't long before it had left-wing politicians in its sights too.
Until the 1990s, Colombia's lucrative drugs trade was controlled by a series of competing drugs cartels, the most notorious one, based in Medellin, led by Pablo Escobar. His death in 1993 - he was shot dead while trying to evade arrest - signalled the demise of the cartels.
Farc and the AUC stepped in to fill the vacuum. Between them they now control the vast majority of the cocaine smuggled out of Colombia. The war that started 40 years ago as a battle between left and right has now degenerated into a scrap for who controls the most cocaine and the crucial river supply routes to the Caribbean coast and the Panama Canal. It is a conflict that has seen more than 2.5 million Colombians wrenched from their homes and displaced to the slums of the major cities.
Cartagena, the third largest city in the country, sits on the Caribbean coast. With its five-star hotels and glorious 17th-century Spanish colonialist architecture, the city has become a tourist destination for Colombians. But travel five minutes outside the old city and away from its tourist police, and you come across a wholly different place. Corrugated-iron shacks and concrete shells pass for houses. No two houses next to each other are the same. On one street, an old man appears to have made his home out of scraps of metal and plastic bags.
For a man of 62, Fausto looks fit and well. Until February last year he worked tending his farm in Riosucio, a small village on the river Atrado, where he grew yucca, lemons and bananas. The Atrado is a key supply route for guerrillas and paramilitaries transferring cocaine from the jungle in the south to the Caribbean coast and smuggling it beyond to Europe and the US. Both sides are fighting a constant battle for control. The guerrillas forced Fausto at gunpoint to ferry them from one side of the river to the other. When the paramilitaries arrived, Fausto was accused of assisting the guerrillas. They told him he would be killed if he and his family did not leave immediately.
Now he lives in this rubble-strewn slum. Fausto takes me inside the three small rooms that now house his family of 19. Sitting in his sparse living-room, surrounded by daughters and grandchildren, Fausto explains how his life was turned upside down. "I left my house, my land, my banana plants. Everything. My father had worked there and my grandfather before that. I thought I would die there. I never imagined we would have to live here in these conditions. Why did this happen to us?"
Last year 23,000 people were killed in Colombia due to the armed conflict, the majority were ordinary citizens with no connection with the drugs trade. Those who campaign against the guerrillas and paramilitaries are at even greater risk. In 2004, 40 trade unionists were killed. The Colombian military is supposed to be impartial, but informal links between the armed forces and the right-wing paramilitary groups are believed to remain. Despite pressure from the international community for those government officials who are believed to be in cahoots with the paramilitaries to be tried, the unions and NGOs of Colombia claim not one officer has yet to be dismissed.
Columbia's populist Oxford and Harvard-educated president, Alvaro Uribe refers to the Farc as "terrorists" and his battle against them as part of a "war on terror". He disagrees with the United Nations' line that Colombia is in the midst of an armed conflict and humanitarian crisis. The unions claim Uribe's head of security is implicated in a phone-tapping incident of two union leaders who have since been disappeared.
In August last year, three unarmed union leaders were pulled from their beds in the middle of the night and summarily executed by soldiers from the army's 18th Brigade. The army claimed the men were armed and guerrilla sympathisers. They were neither. On this occasion at least, action appears to be being taken. Stung by international criticism, the government has pledged to try the men believed to be responsible in the civil courts.
The families of the five unarmed civilians including a six-month old baby, shot by soldiers in April near Cajamarca, 90 miles west of Bogota, have been denied the same right to justice. Again, the soldiers claimed the peasants were armed guerrillas. President Uribe called the killings an "honest mistake".
No side can claim the moral high ground. In June last year 34 coca gatherers on a farm in La Gabarra were brutally murdered by Farc rebels. The peasant farmers were accused of collaborating with the paramilitaries. They were tied to posts and then shot in the head. Two children were among the dead.
The month before, around 200 AUC fighters raided five communities in the region of Arauca. Eleven peasant farmers were reported killed and many more were tortured.
Cocaine has an environmental cost too. According to the Colombian government, large swathes of woodland and rainforest are destroyed to make way for coca plantations. For every hectare of coca grown, 10 are cleared in order to enable the terrorist groups to protect their produce. Landmines, laid with impunity, litter the countryside. All three sides of this decades-long civil war - guerrillas, paramilitaries, and the military - have been known to use landmines in the past, although the government believes the Farc is the worst offender.
Landmines offer some protection to coca crops and guerrilla military bases deep inside the jungle. The military has been fighting a losing battle with the guerrillas for some 40-odd years. By moving on at regular intervals, the Farc commanders are able to stay one step ahead. Dismantling their rough-and-ready laboratories (often nothing more than a microwave and a bucket) they move on. Villagers who had been forcibly displaced from their ancestral homes when the guerrillas arrived begin to trickle back. The landmines are waiting for them.
Olinda clutches her sister's arm. The black shades which hide her blind eyes cannot disguise the tears falling down her heavily scarred face. The Colombian interpreter, attempting to re-tell Olinda's story also struggles to hold back tears. Two years ago, Olinda, then 17, and her mother had been milking a cow in the fields near their home in Santa Rosa. Olinda ran off to round up more cows when she tripped and fell on a landmine. Her right arm blew off, her left hand was severed, her face and upper body were burnt and she lost her sight.
"I thought I am dead, I am dead," she says. Neither Olinda nor her sister know who planted the mine. They don't wish to apportion blame for the conflict, they just want it so stop. "We have nothing to do with this war. Nothing."
Britons who snort cocaine do though, and some users are beginning to consider the ethical issues surrounding the drug. New Year's Eve was the last time Tom took coke. A charity worker in his late twenties, he and his girlfriend, Lucy, have decided to "boycott" it.
"I actively buy fair-trade products and I never buy anything made by Nestlé. To take coke is a bit hypocritical. By buying coke I am exploiting people. I was never a regular user but I had never really given it a second thought. You don't make the mental link.
"I have no intention of ever taking again. When you hear the stories and you see people in the slums. What it's actually done to them..."
But according to Susie, a young photographer, it will take a long time for such a message to sink in. "It's just one of the other things we turn a blind eye to. It's the same with fair trade stuff - most of us think we should buy it but we don't always do it. If there was a stigma in my social circle around cocaine, then people would stop. A lot of the people I know who take it are the sort of people who care about things.
"But every illegally traded product has a dark underside where someone suffers. If it's illegal then people will be exploited. And coke is fun. That's why I take it - nothing more to it."
Daniel, despite his tsunami text message, isn't going to stop. "I know it's hurting someone somewhere, but then I think that when I buy Nike or drink coffee, or if I purchase anything which says 'made in Taiwan'. It is hard to name any product where somewhere down the line there isn't some human misery.
"You know that people have died to get the coke here - and that's bad - but I put petrol in my car which has come from an oilfield over which a war has been fought and people have died. I'm aware of the immorality, but I just accept it as part of life. There is not a lot I can do to stop it. I'm not that selfless."
Instead, he argues, the way to stop the misery is to make it legal. "I'm a grown man. I know all the dangers of cocaine. I've weighed them up and come to a decision that I want to take it. If something is illegal in the face of obvious and unremitting global demand it just makes it more profitable. As long as people want to buy it, there will be people who will continue to supply it. The profits are so high and there is no regulation - that is when people die.
"If cocaine was legal and taxed, the channels through which it gets here would be legal and no one would die - except for those who overdose on it and they're doing it anyway."
No government is ever likely to legalise a class A drug like cocaine. But they could be tempted to promote a consumer boycott. Earlier this month Bill Rammell, the Foreign Office minister with responsibility for both Latin America and drugs, met those affected by the cocaine trade in Colombia. Speaking to me in Cartagena, Mr Rammell said he would support a consumer boycott of cocaine led by charities or NGOs.
"There is a section of the community who adopt a lot of, for want of a better phrase, politically correct positions and yet think it's OK to use cocaine," the minister said. "Part of what we need to be doing in Britain is getting the message across that look, this is what it's doing - three million people kicked out of their homes. When you buy cocaine, this is what it's doing. Were pressure groups to launch such a campaign that would be welcome."
The names of cocaine users quoted in this article have been changedReuse content

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It's Not Supposed to Happen This Way
Dear readers I must apologize. I have no witticisms or insightful movie references or rallying words or anything to offer in the wake of our national tragedy this morning...
The Film Experience™ was created by Nathaniel R. Gemini, Cinephile, Actressexual. All material herein is written and copyrighted by Nathaniel or a member of our team as noted.
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Dear readers I must apologize. I have no witticisms or insightful movie references or rallying words or anything to offer in the wake of our national tragedy this morning...
Who'da thunk it?
I love odd celebrity interviews -- the interview not the celebrity -- and this one qualifies. It's rapid fire, 73 questions in 5 minutes while you tour one floor of SJP's brownstone here in NYC. We knew Sarah Jessica Parker loved The Way We Were (1973) which is referenced so beautifully in one of Sex & the City's best episodes, but who knew that Lars von Trier's Melancholia was such a favorite?!
My favorite answer of all though is her response to "heels or flats?". Hee
Alexa here. In the weeks up to the Oscars I'm celebrating all the wonderful unsheets (a.k.a. fan-created poster art) inspired by the nominated films that are populating the web. (See last week's post for my favorites from the acting categories). But I can't help but mention that the nominations let me down hard this year: my top three films were Melancholia, Drive, and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, and save for a long overdue nomination for Gary Oldman, there was nary a nomination in sight. So with my poutyness in mind, here are a handful of posters for films that were, at least from my perspective, robbed.
Click for Tinker Tailor and Drive...
CineEuropa Melancholia wins big at the Danish Oscars including Best Actress for Kiki!
Daily Notebook Iranian hardliners not too happy with the Oscars and A Separation. (It still seems surprising that A Separation was submitted by Iran, but thank God.)
MCN Jean Dujardin kills on Leno. Clooney had all the precursor heat but Dujardin and Pitt aren't giving up ~Three way race!
Scanners on The Artist. Everybody loves/hates a frontrunner
LA Magazine Viola Davis goes couture
Towleroad Daniel Radcliffe covers Attitude magazine and continues to establish his PFLAG-style advocacy
Awards Daily Art Directors Guild wins go to Hugo (period), Harry Potter 7.2 (fantasy) and Dragon Tattoo (contemporary)
Gold Derby still thinks Meryl Streep is going to win the Oscar for The Iron Lady. Five reasons why.
Cinema Blend Marc Webb wants to differentiate his Amazing Spider-Man from Sam Raimi's blockbuster. Promises Spidy with a sense of humor.
NPR good piece on Madonna's endurance and the difficult process of aging in public.
Toon Town!
Rango took top honors at the Annie Awards though there was a Pic/Director split there with Jennifer Yuh Nelson taking the latter for Kung Fu Panda 2. The Adventures of Tintin won Best Score for John Williams. Best short went to Minkyu Lee for Adam and Dog which I bring up because I was just looking at its tumblr and though "huh. I want to see this" and it surprised to beat out more high profile entries like three Oscar nominees La Luna, Wild Life and Sunday. Here's the teaser...
Adam and dog Trailer from Minkyu on Vimeo.
And for those readers that are always suggesting a voicework Oscar category, that particular prize at the Annies went to Bill Nighy for voicing Grandsanta in Arthur Christmas. He beat out Oscar nominee Gary Oldman's peacock villain "Shen" in Kung Fu Panda 2 and five other nominees in that category. No, I don't know why there were so many nominees. There were twice as many in the television voicework category...14 nominees in one category? That is too much people, calm down.
Parting Shot
Bun Toons comic strip about DC comic's decision to make Watchmen prequels. A must read if you're into comics or Watchmen in any iteration. It applies to basically anything re: Fans Who Loved Too Much.
Last night at 4 AM this was the only image my brain would settle on...
I don't normally spend time in the middle of the night thinking of Fassbender lying naked in bed (Shush!). It's just that I had the worst insomnia I'd had in months. As I stared down at this still image in my state of delirious sleep deprivation I'm reasonably certain that he stared back, his eyes shifting just a little. He must have seen a mirror image of his vacant orbs and haunted zombie expressionless. Only with less handsomeness.
Brandon's addiction was sex and mine is the Oscars but either way we are powerless against our disease. Perhaps it was all the Oscar Morn Excitement catching up to me? Fassy's frozen image reminded me that I forgot to offer my condolescences to the Oscar Forgotten yesterday. Some people and cinematic contributions you'd be really happy to spend another 32 days celebrating but the time has come to say goodbye. [sniffle]
Farewell Oscar Hopeful. Better Luck Next Time
8 Snubs/Omissions That Hurt The Most
08 Melancholia Best Anything
Given that mad Dane Lars von Trier's sole nomination is in songwriting (find a more hilarious Oscar statistic, I dare you!) we never suspected that this would be an Oscar film. But the tiny scattered awards crumbs for his dreamy apocalyptic depression metaphor, arguably his best film in a decade, allowed us to pretend in a feverish bipolar sort of way that miracles would occur and it would wake up as the nomination leader. No, not really. But it's a shame that that masterful Cinematography and Kirsten Dunst's spooky narcoleptic bride won so little traction.
The Costume Design Guild has spoken! As with all guild awards... it's a combination of "Really?" and interesting "Oh, yeah!" choices.
Mark Bridges for The Artist
Michael O'Connor for Jane Eyre
Sharen Davis for The Help
Sandy Powell for Hugo
Arianne Phillips for W.E.
Good news: I have an interview coming up with Arianne Phillips, who is one of my heroes. And not just because she's worked with Madonna for 15 years or so.
Notable Omissions: Anonymous, Captain America (unless they considered it a fantasy), My Week With Marilyn, A Dangerous Method, and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
Oscar transferrence? The costume designers within the Academy, a much smaller number than votes on the guild awards, tend to prefer period work to other types of work so you could theoretically see all of these nominees repeat at Oscar, though Phillips is certainly most vulnerable as her movie is probably the least seen of these. Still royalty porn goes a long way with Oscar voters and Andrea Riseborough looks like she's wearing the entire budget of the film.
Jany Temime for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Penny Rose for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Cindy Evans for Red Riding Hood
Alexandra Byrne for Thor
Sammy Sheldon for X-Men: First Class
Oscar transferrence? I'm guessing the best bet here is Alexandra Byrne for Thor.
Superheroes!: Interesting to see the fantasy category overtaken by superheroes (and yes I include Harry Potter there). I wonder if they categorized Captain America here or in "period"? Either way it didn't manage a nomination.
Strangest nods: Hasn't the Harry Potter cast been wearing essentially the sameish robes for the entire franchise? I have not seen Red Riding Hood so my apologies to Cindy Evans but I found that pink dress with red coat so painful to look at in tandem (even in the space of a 2 minute trailer!) that my face lost a little of its color reading this nomination. Maybe every other costume in the movie is enticing?
Leesa Evans and Christine Wada for Bridesmaids
Wendy Chuck for The Descendants
Erin Benach for Drive
Trish Summerville for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Manon Rasmussen for Melancholia
Yay! We figured the scorpion jacket would get its due here but it's fun to see my double feature of bridal depression nominated.
Oscar transferrence? Unfortunately that only happens for contemporary films when the entire movie is about the clothes (see The Devil Wears Prada).
Sigh. REALLY?: The contemporary category is where you often see guilds failing to live up to their duties as awards organization and just grab at whichever FYC screeners they're loving. No offense to Wendy Chuck who has done fun work on several contemporary pictures, not just Payne's movies, but apart from Clooney's hilarious run in inappropriate shoes the costumes aren't contributing a fifth as much to the success of The Descendants (consider it this year's Slumdog Millionaire with bizarre guild triumphs) as say the costumes of Young Adult, Beginners, Shame, Crazy Stupid Love, The Iron Lady (unless they considered that "period"), Martha Marcy May Marlene or The Skin I Live In are to their movies. The contemporary categories are almost always where you see the limits of guild imagination when it comes to defining "awards worthy". It's a fancy way of saying "WE LIKE THIS MOVIE A WHOLE LOT!"
How do you like these nominations and where would your votes go?


text:
Chapter Thirteen
Jim stepped onto the transporter pad to hug Winona. Spock simply raised his hand in salute to his father. "Peace and long life."
Sarek returned the salute. "Live long and prosper."
Winona's arms tightened around Jim. "Take care of yourself."
Jim stepped back. "I will, Mom."
Winona turned to Spock. She raised her hand in a salute, then dropped it. "Screw that. I want a hug." She stepped off of the pad and embraced Spock warmly. Spock didn't return the gesture, but that didn't stop Winona from squeezing him even harder. "You take care of yourself too, Spock. And watch out for Jimmy. He gets himself into too much trouble."
"Mom!" Jim whined.
"I will watch over him. Live long and prosper, Winona," Spock said softly and she released him and took her place on the pad again.
"I'll keep in touch," Winona promised. "After the Vulcan memorial service in a couple months, we're going to Earth. Sarek'll have to return to New Vulcan periodically, but I'll hang around Earth for the rest of my pregnancy. Let me know when you have shore leave so you can visit."
Jim grinned. "Of course. And let us know when you have the baby. I want to come corrupt my little brother."
Sarek cleared his throat. "Dr. McCoy has determined from genetic scans that the fetus is female."
Jim's mouth fell open. "A girl? But I don't know anything about sisters! Who am I supposed to teach how to steal and crash cars now?"
"Well, next time we have a kid, I'll be sure to leave the gender up to you," Winona said sardonically.
"Don't make fun of me!" Jim puffed out his chest. "I'm Captain James T. Kirk."
Winona's snickers deflated Jim's pride. "You're my Jimmy, and don't you forget it. Now beam me down to Vulcan. My old bones are tired and I'm ready for bed." Her eyes shot to Sarek and she smirked.
"Again?" Sarek exclaimed, to Spock's shock. He had never heard his father sound so amused.
Winona nodded. "Most definitely. I'm very, very ready for bed."
Sarek didn't meet anyone's gaze. "I believe we are both ready to depart then. Farewell, Captain Kirk."
Jim moved to the transported controls. He offered Sarek a Vulcan salute. "See you later, Pop!"
He energized them. Spock and Jim watched in silence as their parents faded away. When the last trace of them disappeared, Jim burst into laughter. "Poor Sarek. Mom was really laying it on thick there."
"Indeed." Spock was uncertain what Winona had been 'laying on', but he didn't care to find out. He needed to begin his meditation cycle. "I shall retire for the night now. Good evening, Captain."
Spock turned to exit the room, but Jim raced around the transporter controls and grabbed his sleeve to stop him. "Wait a minute, Spock! We haven't talked in almost a week! Can't we at least eat dinner?"
Spock prepared himself to reject Jim's request, but Jim cut off his reply.
"Please, Spock. Please." Jim released Spock's shirt. "We need to talk about ship business."
It was an acceptable request. Spock could not refuse. "Very well."
Jim gave him a little smile. "Great. Let's eat in the officers' mess, okay? That way we don't have to worry about confidential information getting out."
The officer's mess was rarely used for dinner and rather private. Spock would prefer to eat in the public main mess, but if they would be discussing confidential information, the officer's mess would be more practical. "Very well." Logic overruled preferences.
Jim's smile grew a bit bigger. "Good."
In the mess, Jim waived away the crewmember that attempted to serve them, opting instead to get his own food from the synthesizer. Spock requested a serving of plomeek soup from the synthesizer and took a seat next to Jim in their normal places at the main table. Sulu was eating in the corner with Chekov, who was not an officer and should not have been in the officer's mess, but Spock would not complain. With them there, Jim would have to remain professional.
Jim nodded to Spock's bowl. "Feeling homesick already?"
"No. I have been meditating faithfully for the past week. My emotions are completely suppressed." Spock tasted his soup. It was a little too warm for his preferences, but it would not burn him. He began to eat.
Jim's fork hovered motionlessly over his plate. "What? Why are you squashing all of your emotions? You were just starting to really show them!"
Spock had only shown blatant emotion to Jim. The consequences of that experiment had proven that emotions were detrimental. "I am Vulcan. Such actions are logical."
Jim slammed his hand down on the table, his fork pinging against the metal. "You're Human too! It's not logical to throw part of yourself away."
Spock's neck and shoulders stiffened. "I shall not discuss my actions." He forced his muscles to relax.
Jim stared at him for a minute, then shoved his fork into his cornbread stuffing. "Fine." He lifted up his fork and shoved a huge bite into his mouth. He chewed in silence and didn't attempt to speak until his mouth was clear. "So. We lost Nilly Velasquez to New Vulcan. She's sticking around with her new bondmate. Robert Nelson is still shipping out with us though, as are the other two women from our crew who decided to bond with Vulcans. The women are going to try to keep up long-distance relationships, but Nelson's bondmate is attempting to join Starfleet and transfer onto the Enterprise."
Torek wanted to be at his bondmate's side. Spock understood the feeling. He would remain by Jim's side for as long as he could. It was not an emotional decision, but a logical one. They made a strong command team and it would benefit the Enterprise if Spock remained Jim's First Officer for as long as Jim was Captain.
Jim pursed his lips for a minute as though he was thinking. "Hey, Spock, when we saw Nelson and his bondmate coming out of the scanner, they kept touching fingers. I thought that was a Vulcan no-no."
"Touching fingers with another person in that way is a gesture reserved for bondmates, Captain." Spock could remember his parents doing it often. When Spock was young, he had often wished he could share the gesture with his bondmate, but the one time he had attempted it with T'Pring, she had rebuffed him. "It signifies that their emotions and thoughts are already touching, as their fingers do, and so the touch telepathy is not invasive or taboo." Jim leaned forward, as if asking for more information. "It is similar to a kiss, in Human terms."
"Huh. Cute. No wonder Uhura says Nelson and his bondmate are romantic." Jim sighed and poked at his turkey. "Personally, I think the women's relationships are more romantic. Even though they knew they couldn't stay on New Vulcan and that their bondmates had to stay, they still bonded with the men they loved. Now, no matter where they go, they'll never be alone." Jim jabbed at the turkey until it split into two pieces. "I don't like being alone."
Jim wouldn't ever have to be alone if—
No emotions. Just logic. Spock focused his attention on his soup.
Jim straightened up. "That's enough of that. We need to go over the plan for shipping out tomorrow."
The conversation remained on professional matters for seventeen minutes, only to be abruptly disrupted by Chekov's appearance next to Jim.
When Jim looked up at him, Chekov smiled. "Sorry to interrupt, Keptin, but I heard today about you and Mr. Spock. Is very romantic, I think, to have the Keptin and First Officer in love. Is like the great romances of some of Russia's Tsars and Tsarinas!"
Jim winked at Spock. "I think you're the queen in that simile, Spock."
Chekov's eyes widened. "No, no! Mr. Spock is no queen! I should say Tsar and Tsar then, but there was no Tsar and Tsar, but Mr. Spock is no woman, so I do not know—"
Jim patted Chekov on the arm. "It's okay, Chekov. I was just teasing Spock." Jim leaned over and wrapped an arm around Spock's shoulders. "It's just something we do, right, sweetheart?"
Spock's response died in his throat when Jim followed up the pet name with a kiss on the cheek. He forced himself to remain calm. It was a handshake. Nothing but a handshake.
Chekov's eyes were so wide that the eyeballs seemed to protrude slightly from their sockets. "Um, Keptin, Mr. Spock, sirs. I am... I will return to my dinner. Now." He scampered back to Sulu's side.
Jim squeezed Spock's shoulder. "I think we freaked him out."
Just a handshake. "We are leaving New Vulcan tomorrow, and Pon Farr can now be cured. There is no reason for us to pretend to be bondmates any longer." Spock's bowl wasn't quite empty, but his appetite was gone. He would have to throw away the rest.
Jim's arm slipped from his shoulders. "Already? But having sex is so much easier now that we don't have to hide!"
Spock's breathing was beginning to accelerate. He forced it to slow back down. "Our sexual relationship should end now as well."
"No! I don't want to stop."
Jim's shout caught Sulu and Chekov's attention. They peered at them over their shoulders. When Chekov caught Spock's eyes, he blushed and looked away.
"This is not an appropriate place for this discussion, Captain."
Jim stood up and grabbed Spock's arm. "Then we'll find an appropriate place to have it. I'm not going to let you avoid it though."
Spock stood and attempted to pick up his bowl, but Jim was already pulling him away. "Our dishes—"
"Leave the damn dishes!" Jim's forehead was furrowed and his mouth tight. "We're going to my room, now."
Spock could not allow the argument to continue in front of their subordinates, so he was forced to allow Jim to drag him out of the mess and down the corridor to his room. Jim put in his lock code so quickly that he missed a number and had to start over. When the door opened, he shoved Spock inside the dark room.
"Lights to one hundred percent," Spock said.
Jim followed him in, and then locked the door. "First you avoid me. Then you don't want to talk to me. Now you won't even have sex with me." Jim gripped Spock by the shoulders. "What did I do?"
Spock shook his head. "You did nothing. I made a decision to suppress my emotions."
Jim burst into laughter. "Oh, that's good. Usually I'm the one giving the 'it's not you, it's me' speech." He released Spock and collapsed into a chair. He buried his face in his hands. "I don't want to lose you." The words were muffled, but Spock heard them clearly.
"I am not going anywhere, Captain."
Jim sighed and uncovered his face. His shoulders slumped. "Jim." His face was blank when he looked up at Spock. "After Boldun, you promised you'd call me Jim."
Spock took a step forward. He was hurting Jim. It was illogical. He needed to stop. His own pain didn't matter, not when he was hurting Jim. "Jim."
Jim held out his hand. "If you want to be more Vulcan, if that's what you really want, then I'll support you. I don't need sex. I do need you."
Spock wanted to take Jim's hand, but that wasn't the Vulcan way. Jim held out his hand for a few more seconds and then began to lower it.
Spock grabbed it with his own. "I need you as well."
Jim stood. Through their hands, Spock could feel so much pain and sadness. Pain he had caused. He wished he could take away the pain.
Jim wrapped his other hand around Spock's neck and pulled his head down as he lifted his own face. Before their lips could touch, Spock tried to draw away. "Jim..."
The pain increased. "Please," Jim whispered. "One last time. Let me say goodbye."
Spock refused to let Jim pull his head back down. "I am not going anywhere."
Jim locked eyes with Spock. "Please."
The pain was so deep and so heavy. Spock was drowning in it as the waves of sadness washed him away. The pain had overtaken all of Jim's other emotions, even his lust. Spock wanted to take away the pain.
He pressed his lips to Jim's.
Jim responded hungrily, clinging to Spock as if he was a lifeboat in the midst of that sea of pain. His hand slipped from Spock's neck to his back and he tugged Spock closer. Then his hand slipped under Spock's shirt and began to lift it.
There was no lust in the touch. Spock floundered to understand as Jim tugged off his shirt. Jim then stripped himself and began to remove the rest of Spock's clothes. His hands were gentle, almost loving, and Spock still couldn't feel any lust.
When they were both naked, Jim guided them to the bed. From the nightstand, he withdrew the bottle of lubricant. He handed it to Spock, wrapping his fingers around Spock's so they both held the bottle. "I want you in me," he said quietly. He released Spock's hand and climbed onto the bed, shoving pillows underneath his hips.
Spock absorbed the sight before him. His control was gone. He could feel emotion's welling up within him. "I cannot. My control..."
Jim reached out, gripping Spock's hand. "One last time."
The pain was still there. Spock could do this one last time. He would keep the memory of this night forever, but he would forget all of his emotions. He could do this.
He tried to enter Jim slowly, but Jim thwarted his efforts by thrusting upwards. "I need you in me," he cried as Spock was fully sheathed in his body.
Once he was inside, Jim let Spock set the pace. He reached for Spock's hand, and Spock let him take it. Jim pulled the hand up and placed it on his face.
Spock yanked it back. "No, Jim."
The pain overflowed.
Jim looked up at Spock. His eyes were bluer than Spock had ever seen them, as blue as an ocean. "Please."
Spock couldn't meld them. What if he couldn't hide his emotions? Jim couldn't find out about his love. It would break their friendship more than anything Spock had done in the past week.
Jim's eyes darkened. "Please."
How could Spock refuse? He gathered up his emotions and locked them in the brig of his mind. Then he pressed his fingers to Jim's face.
He only meant to initiate a shallow meld, but the moment his mind touched Jim's, it was sucked in. He delved further and further inside Jim, while Jim began to melt into him. It was a shock when Spock found himself in Jim's core. It appeared to him like wide open space with all of its disorderly anomalies and simple planets. The stars burned brighter as he approached them, his own core touching Jim's. He had always seen himself as a starship, a machine full of people, people full of emotions. The logic covered the emotions, but it didn't keep them in. At any moment, the emotions could choose to escape and wander away. The compatibility of the images produced by his and Jim's core did not escape him. Jim truly was his t'hy'la: his perfect match.
The longing to let his starship soar free in the universe that was Jim was strong, but Spock forced it to fly away, back inside him where it belonged. Slowly, he forced the meld back to a more shallow level where he could feel physical sensations again. Jim was breathing heavily now, and the sadness was finally gone. In its place was sheer joy and affection that burned Spock as surely as the pain had drowned him.
I missed you, Jim whispered through the mind link.
Spock didn't understand. He hadn't gone anywhere. I will not leave, he promised Jim in return.
At his words, Jim cried out and climaxed. Pleasure, joy, affection, and contentment, mixed together and burst through the meld, pulling Spock into his own orgasm.
Spock collapsed onto Jim, his breath gone. He forced himself to roll over so that he was not squashing Jim. His hand remained pressed to Jim's face.
Jim smiled at him. Stay. He blinked sleepily.
Spock wriggled around until they were under the covers and the pillows were back where they belonged. I will not leave, he promised again. He would stay by Jim's side for the rest of his life. "Lights to five percent." The room darkened till Spock could barely make out Jim's face next to him.
Goodnight, Spock.
Spock watched Jim's eyes flutter closed. Goodnight, Jim.
He couldn't bring himself to break the meld until Jim was fast asleep. He slipped out of Jim's mind then, regretting it the moment he pulled his fingers from Jim's face. He couldn't stay linked to Jim though. He had been lucky that Jim hadn't seen his love while they were melded. He couldn't take that chance ever again.
Spock climbed out of the bed. His eyes had adjusted to the light level, and he found his clothes on the floor. He tugged them on, then straightened his hair. Before he left the room, he paused by the door to look back at Jim. He was frowning in his sleep, and Spock wanted to go back to him and soothe the expression away, but he couldn't.
Jim had been right. Even if Spock remained by Jim's side for the next fifty years, this was a goodbye.
"Farewell," Spock whispered, and then he slipped out of the door.
Sarek woke to find himself alone in his new bed. Winona's side was cool and long-abandoned. He couldn't hear her in the bathroom, so he climbed out of bed and made his way downstairs.
He found her in the living room, holding a holo-image. "You are up early."
She turned to smile at him. "Morning, Sarek. I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd get up and make myself useful." She held up the holo-image. "I was trying to decide what wall to hang this on."
"What is it?" Sarek peered over her shoulder and discovered the holo-image was a picture of Amanda on the Starfleet Academy campus.
Winona traced the edge of the image with her finger. "I asked Spock if he had any pictures of her, and he gave me a copy of the only one he had. He said she had him take it when she was visiting him on Earth one year, and then she left the camera behind on accident." She smiled up at Sarek. "She was a beautiful woman."
Sarek reached out and took the image from her. "You are not jealous?"
Winona shrugged. "If she were still alive, I might be. Since she's not, I'm not. She made you happy, and that makes me happy. I know you love me just as much, even if it's in a different way." She tapped the side of her head. "This bond really is amazing."
"Yes, it is." Sarek returned the image to her. "Where you do think it should go?"
Winona padded over to the far side of the room in her sock feet. Next to one window, she paused and held the image against the wall. "Here, I think." She looked back over her shoulder. "In this spot, everyone who walks into the room will be able to see it."
It was perfect. "I... I am..." He was filled with emotion, but he wasn't sure what words to use to describe them.
Winona set the holo-image on a chair and crossed back to Sarek. "You're welcome." She kissed him on the cheek. "Come see what I want to do with our other rooms."
She tugged him down the hallway by the hand. She stopped in front of the larger of the two extra bedrooms and pushed open the door. It was empty inside, with plain white walls. They had not gotten any furniture beyond what they absolutely needed yet, since supplies were in high demand. "This one will be the guest bedroom, since it's farther from our room. I figure that Spock and Jim can stay here when they visit, and if Sybok or Sam ever come, they can use it too."
Sarek squeezed her hand.
She moved on to the smallest of the three bedrooms in the house. It was also empty and white. "And this room will be the nursery. We probably won't be able to come back to New Vulcan until she's at least a year old, but I think I'll send back some decorations from Earth for you to put up when you have to come back for your ambassadorial duties." She pointed into the corner beneath the room's window. "I want a rocking chair there, so I can sing the baby to sleep. I never had a rocking chair for Sam and Jimmy."
Sarek stepped into the room. "I had expected you would choose this room for the nursery, so I placed this in here." He opened the closet door and took the small stuffed animal down from the shelf. He had rather abused his ambassadorial privileges in order to replicate the non-essential toy. "Jim assured me that this is an appropriate toy for a Human child." He handed it to her.
She squeezed the sheep to her chest. "Oh, Sarek, I love sheep!"
"I know." She dreamed of them rather often.
She hugged him, squishing the sheep between them. "Thank you."
Sarek ran a hand through her loose hair. "You are welcome."
Winona laid her head against his shoulder. "Do you think the boys are going to be okay? It's nearly time for them to leave orbit."
"As long as they have each other, they shall be fine." Sarek lightly propped his chin on her head. "You should go back to bed. You need some more sleep."
"Come with me?" Sarek couldn't see her face but he felt her lips brush his collarbone. There was no lust in the touch—or at least no more than usual—merely comfort.
The Romulans, Humans, and Vulcan women were all settled. Sarek had no more research to attend to, as that had been passed on to more specialized scientists, and his ambassadorial duties could wait for a little while. "Yes, let's go back to bed," he said. She pulled away and looked down at the stuffed toy a little sadly. Sarek sighed. "The sheep may come as well."
At the sight of her grin, Sarek knew he would have to get another one for the baby. He'd never get the toy out of their bed now.
Spock spent the night meditating and locking down all of his emotions. When 0500 hours arrived, Spock roused himself from his meditations. He hadn't regained all of his control, but he was in better shape than he had been when he left Jim. He needed to proceed to the mess hall now if he wanted to avoid seeing Jim off of the bridge. Spock couldn't face him in a less-than-professional situation.
Spock had showered and dressed in clean clothing upon his return to his room, so he simply extinguished the candles he had lit and made his way to the officer's mess. Chekov was in there again, along with McCoy. The doctor was glaring at Chekov, but Spock doubted it was real anger, judging by the smile on Chekov's face and the fact that Chekov's sock foot was creeping up McCoy's leg.
At another table, Scotty and Uhura were bent over their PADDs and mumbling to each other as they ate. From the bits of the conversation he could hear, he was helping her with a small problem in the engineering of the New Vulcan communications network that had just been discovered. In between sentences, they were eating and every once in a while they would steal food from each other's plates without asking.
For them it was a romantic gesture. Jim had just taken for granted that Spock would let him steal food even though they were just friends.
Spock solidified his controls. He couldn't let himself fall apart. After ordering his food from the synthesizer, Spock took a seat in the far corner of the room, away from the happy couples.
Spock had nearly finished his food when the door to the room slid open and Jim burst in. He was breathing heavily and his face was flushed and sweaty. He scanned the room quickly, and when he spotted Spock in the corner, he rushed to his table.
"Spock, are you okay?" He slid into the chair next to Spock. "I woke up and you were gone and you weren't in my head! Shouldn't you be in my head?"
"Of course not. I ended the meld." They had melded before; why was Jim so confused?
Jim's shoulders slumped. "Oh. It was just a meld." He looked away. "I thought..."
Spock could handle this. He had logic. "You thought what, Jim?"
Jim looked back at him with the same sad blue eyes as the night before. "I thought you were bonding us."
No matter how hard he tried, Spock couldn't keep his chest from tightening. "I would not bond with someone who did not love me." There. He had said it. He put his illogical truth out there.
Jim flinched away as if hurt. "I thought you knew." He looked Spock straight in the eyes. "I love you."
Spock slammed his fork down on the table. "Do not lie to me!"
Jim set his shoulders. "I would never lie to you! Not after Boldun."
"I can feel your emotions." Spock caught Jim's hand with his and delved in deep to be certain. It was a lie. "There is no love there."
"What do you feel?" Jim leaned forward. "Tell me."
Spock named off all the emotions he could feel in Jim. "Anger, sadness, longing, affection, compassion, empathy, fear, lust, companionship, understanding, confusion, joy."
Jim squeezed his hand. "And what does love feel like?"
Spock floundered. "I do not... I know..."
"How did you learn to suppress your emotions?"
Spock had shown Jim those memories on Boldun. "I was taught to understand my emotions, name them, and then set them aside."
Jim leaned in closer. "And did they ever teach you what love felt like?"
"They tried to make me set aside my love for my mother." Spock had not learned that lesson.
"But they didn't teach you what romantic love felt like?" Jim pressed.
"I...no." All Spock had to judge by was the love he had in his own heart, the complicated mix of emotions that...
The complicated mix of emotions that he felt for Jim.
"Love is not one emotion." The revelation blindsided him.
Jim nodded. "And I love you."
"But the lie!" Spock had hated the lie, still hated the lie. "You do not want a commitment."
"I always thought I didn't want commitments, until I got them. I didn't want friends to tie me down, but Bones changed that. I didn't want responsibilities, but then I joined Starfleet. I didn't want to be in charge of other people's lives, but then I became a captain." Jim looked down at their joined hands. "I didn't want to get married, but then I pretended with you. Having someone who's there for you all the time and who cares about you is more than worth being tied to one person."
Spock's hands were shaking. This couldn't be right. This had to be a dream, except Spock had never dreamed in his life. "But you said last night we would end it."
"I didn't want to," Jim said softly. "I never wanted to let you go. I think I've wanted you since Boldun, but I didn't realize it until you started to block me out. I realized I was losing you, and I didn't want to let you go."
"But you did."
"I tried." Jim looked up into Spock's eyes. "I tried so hard after you said you wanted to give up your emotions. But then you let us meld, and I thought you were bonding us. I asked you to stay in my head, and you said you wouldn't leave." His eyes pleaded with Spock to understand. "But this morning you were gone. I was so afraid you were hurt. Mom said she can always feel Sarek, and you were gone. I looked in your quarters and in the main mess and on the bridge and you were gone."
"I was here. I would never leave you, Jim. I will stay by your side forever."
"That's not good enough." Jim tugged his hand free from Spock's and then held it out. His pointer and middle fingers were extended, the others tucked into his palm.
Spock stared at Jim's hand. He couldn't be asking what he was asking.
Jim held his fingers a little closer to Spock. "I want to bond with you. I don't ever want to be alone again."
Spock reached out with his own two fingers and pressed them to Jim's.
Jim's emotions sang inside of him, bright bursts of joy and affection. Spock soaked up the emotions as best as he could, while pressing his own emotions through to Jim.
Spock had never passed on his own emotions before, and Jim gasped at the sudden onslaught. "You love me too. I was so afraid you didn't."
"I tried to hide my emotions," Spock admitted. "I was afraid they would chase you away, and I would rather have you as a friend than not at all."
"It's amazing." Jim closed his eyes. "I want to feel it all of the time. Can you... will you bond us? Right now?"
"This is not the most appropriate place." Regardless, Spock pulled his fingers from Jim's and pressed them to the meld points.
Jim leaned into the touch. "Do it, now."
Spock threw himself into Jim's mind. Again, it sucked him in much faster than a Human mind should.
Jim laughed through the meld. My mind's not fully human anymore. Bones told me after he did the scans that I was already starting to grow a telepathic lobe. Mine's still tiny, but it's there. And your lobe's a bit bigger than it should be too.
Amazing. Does he have any theories as to why?
None. Just melding didn't do it because our brains were normal after Boldun. I think it must have been that time we had meld-sex.
Spock continued to sink into Jim's mind. When he reached the core, he again marveled at the beauty of Jim's galaxy.
It's not beautiful, Jim said. It's empty. All of the planets are uninhabited. No matter how bright the stars are, they're cold. A galaxy without life is pointless. You give the galaxy a reason to exist.
At Jim's words, some of that space spread until it was a part of Spock too. Then Spock allowed his starship to fly free. As it passed from his mind to Jim's, it left behind a trail of subspace amplifiers to pass communications between them, a mental representation of their new link. The galaxy now belonged to both of them, the starship captained by each of them in turn.
We are bonded. Spock pulled out of the meld, and the connection between them remained.
Jim pressed two fingers to Spock's fingers, and then leaned in and kissed him deeply. When he pulled back, Spock realized that the room was full of people, very few of whom were officers. All of them were staring at them.
McCoy cleared his throat from the back of the crowd. "I thought it'd be interesting for everyone who went by in the hall to pop in here and see what the officer's mess looked like. It was just random idea."
"Sure, Bones." Jim grinned at all of them. "Congratulations, people. You just witnessed a wedding."
Hoots and hollers fill the room. Crew members proceeded to slap Jim on the back or give him a hug. Thankfully, they refrained with Spock, instead offering him a Vulcan salute or a few words of congratulations. When everyone in the room had had their moment with them, Spock spoke up. "This is the officer's mess. If you are not on duty in this mess or an officer, leave."
Everyone sighed, but filed out. Chekov remained at his table with McCoy. He really didn't belong there.
Don't worry about it, Spock. The kid's about due for a promotion anyway.
Spock peeked through their new bond to pick up Jim's surface thoughts. You just like seeing McCoy turn red when Chekov plays footsie, he accused.
Jim chuckled. "Hell, yes!"
Affection for Jim suffused him, along with the realization that this had really happened. They were bonded now, at least for as long as Jim would stay bonded.
Don't doubt me! I'm in this forever. You're not getting rid of me unless you kill me.
It was hard to believe that everything he had wished for could come true like this.
Well, believe it.
He would. It would just take time.
Jim leaned over and grabbed a piece of toast off Spock's plate.
Spock grabbed it back.
"Hey!" Jim frowned. "Why did you do that?"
"Because I really dislike it when you steal my food." Plus, it was Spock's last piece of toast.
Jim snatched it back and licked it all along one side. "But now it's my food!"
That was truly disgusting and juvenile. Also, Spock was never going to be able to eat an entire meal on his own again. He could see a distant future where he and Jim were aged and wrinkled and Jim was leaning over to steal Spock's toast. And even when he was eighty, Jim would probably still lick it.
Jim bit into the toast. "So, are you still sticking to your 'emotional suppression' thing?"
"Please chew with your mouth closed, Jim."
"Because it's fine with me if you are," Jim said. At least he had swallowed. "I love you no matter who you are."
Spock considered emotion. Emotion had given him Jim, and taking away his emotions had almost taken away Jim. "I do not think I shall be as stringent in my control as I have been. A little emotion can be useful."
Jim grinned. "Great. If you're not meditating, I bet I can seduce you with mind sex anytime I want." He happily took another bite of his toast.
Spock sighed. "I am not quite that 'easy', Jim."
Jim smirked. "I'll break you by lunch time."
Jim broke Spock in less than two hours.
Spock couldn't bring himself to mind.
The End


text:
Aquolina Shower Gel - Rice Cream
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on 2/4/2006 11:25:00 AM
Age: 19-24
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well, I love the texture of this shower gel - it is very milky-like - I feel like taking shower with body lotion instead of shower gel - that is great for my dry skin. But the fragrance of Rice Cream is a big disappointment. It smells masculine or something like that. I would buy Aquolina shower gel again, but will have to try another scent.
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31 August - 4 September 2015
Monday 24 August:
Zac is pushing himself hard, running along the beach. When he arrives home he and Leah act as though there's nothing wrong but Matt noticed that Zac slept on the couch. As soon as he covertly points out Leah and Zac's over exaggerated effort to act normally, all the teens find it odd and want to know what's wrong. As they leave the house and walk VJ is sure it's something to do with Hunter. Matt tells everyone that they should make more of an effort with Hunter and Evie speculates that if they did, it might ease things for Leah and Zac. Back home, Zac confronts the issue telling Leah that he's prepared to get the paternity test done if it will make her feel better, which she appreciates. Evie bursts in suggesting they invite Hunter and Charlotte over for lunch, they can ask Denny too and it'll be a peacemaking meal. Leah's not convinced but Evie's enthusiasm and Zac's support of the idea overrule.
Chris tells Irene that he's sick but she thinks it's because John upset him with his blundering comments about Chris being a clown, and that he couldn't get Hannah if he tried. Down at the diner Irene chides John for his treatment of Chris and Marilyn and Alf join in. John protests that he was joking but he's firmly told to go and make it up to Chris. As they talk, Hunter has entered and rudely asks if anyone works there. As Marilyn rushes to serve him Alf pulls him up on his lack of manners but it has no effect.
Zac talks to Charlotte about getting the paternity test. She's not happy about it. Zac then invites her and Hunter to lunch. Charlotte says she can't imagine Hunter going but Zac tells her it shouldn't be up to him. Charlotte goes down to the beach and tells Hunter that they're going. He laughs at her, and gives her attitude.
Evie rushes around making sure everything is ready for the lunch, while Matt fools around and Oscar makes jokes. Denny arrives with a salad and Evie's really happy to see her. Leah and Zac come in and say how lovely everything looks, as VJ makes surly remarks, then Hunter and Charlotte arrive and introductions are made. As they eat the twins and Denny make an effort to connect with Hunter lightening the mood and Matt joins in. VJ continues to sulk and when the adults talk about Hunter starting at Summer Bay High, suggesting that VJ could show him around, VJ makes trouble and sparks fly. Hunter walks out. Zac has a go at VJ and Leah goes after Hunter. Hunter tries to walk off but Leah stops him and tries to make peace, saying that VJ may be jealous, he never got the chance to know his father. Hunter softens and Leah says she wants to make the crazy family work.
Leah returns with Hunter and VJ says sorry to him which Hunter accepts. Rather than staying for dessert though Charlotte hustles out with Hunter saying he needs to get ready to start school tomorrow. At home the mood is good and they decide to watch a movie after Charlotte has showered. While she's out of the room Hunter finds the paperwork for the paternity test… He pushes Charlotte to tell him who asked for the test, finding out that it was Leah. He goes and confronts Leah accusing her of wanting to rip him and Zac apart, grabbing her arm roughly and making threats. As Leah escapes his grasp and he walks off, he stops and looks back at her car…
John apologises to Chris who isn't having any of it, he pushes John out of the house and shuts the door on him. Back at the diner John tells Marilyn and Irene what happened and that he's worried about Chris. At home Irene tries to talk to Chris but he just wants to be left alone.
Leah has told Zac what happened with Hunter, he really scared her and she's concerned about his behaviour. Zac placates her saying he'll talk to Hunter. Leah leaves to go shopping with Evie, puzzled to find the car open thinking she locked it, but shrugs it off. In the car Evie shrewdly observes that Leah is relieved to be away from the tension at home for a while.
Charlotte finds Hunter out near the water and apologises for him seeing the paternity test. He says he couldn't care less about Leah now, she could die and it wouldn't bother him.
Zac calls on Charlotte, explaining that Leah felt shaken by her encounter with Hunter. Charlotte apologies, Hunter wasn't supposed to find the paperwork, he was angry but at the end of the day, he's harmless.
As Leah drives along she realises the brakes aren't working. As she desperately pumps the pedal Evie realises something's wrong and they both start to panic. As the car hurtles unchecked down the road Leah yanks up the handbrake in the hope that it will stop the car, causing it to swerve and they both scream as the car flies towards a tree. Will they survive?
Tuesday 25 August:
Zac tells Charlotte how threatening Hunter was to Leah but she shrugs it off. Zac gets a call from Leah and they both rush to the accident site. Leah and Evie are fine but they came extremely close to hitting a tree and Leah suggests that it might not have been an accident.
At the diner Greg Snelgrove and Irene try to plan their date, Greg isn't keen on going local and Irene invites him to have dinner at her place, as John smirks nearby. Greg accepts gladly and as soon as he leaves John says he'd be wearing his best undies if he was invited to a lady's house for a first date. Josh and Andy are nearby talking about Josh getting his trial HSC results and whether Principal Snelgrove knows about the study drugs that Josh has been taking.
As Hunter arrives home Charlotte tells him about Leah and Evie's accident. Charlotte implies that Hunter was involved and they have words but Hunter admits to nothing. Leah and Evie are back home and everyone discusses whether it's possible that Hunter caused the accident. When questioned, Leah just says that the mechanics will work it out but once left alone with Zac she asks him whether he believes that it was an accident. Zac is upset and refuses to believe that Hunter could do such a thing.
Hannah walks in to the diner and has a stilted conversation with Andy and Josh before Irene asks her whether she's seen Chris. John chimes in and when Hannah says she hasn't seen him Irene lets slip that Hannah kissed Chris which gets a reaction from Andy. She awkwardly protests to Andy and Josh that there's nothing going on with her and Chris.
Charlotte and Hunter walk through school on Hunter's first day. Zac checks in with Charlotte after Hunter leaves, and Charlotte tells him that she talked to Hunter who denies doing anything to Leah's car, and that she believes him. The teens walk by talking about Hunter and stop abruptly as they see him. He asks if they were talking about him and Evie comes clean, admitting that they were. She asks whether he tampered with Leah's brakes and he says he did, aggressively pushing their buttons. Matt tells him that he shouldn't joke about it and VJ gets worked up, aggressively stepping up to Hunter. Before anything can happen Principal Snelgrove intervenes. Josh asks Evie if she's okay after the accident, she says she is and walks off leaving Josh thinking about her.
Charlotte teaches a lesson as VJ stirs Hunter. They're soon in a physical fight and as Charlotte goes to break it up, Zac rushes in and helps pull them apart. They all get called to Principal Snelgrove's office. VJ and Hunter get told off, then after the boys are sent out, Snelgrove has a go at Zac and Charlotte telling them to take the day off to sort the boys out.
Hannah drops in to see Chris who's morosely sitting on the couch. She tries to persuade him to go bodyboarding with her but he's reticent. Later at the diner Irene tells Marilyn and John that Hannahs managed to get Chris out of the house and Marilyn hints that Irene and Greg can have the house to themselves for their date. Irene looks worried and tells them she's afraid that John might be right and says she's going to cancel the date. Marilyn quickly jumps in and suggests that she and John join them, making it more like a dinner party than a date, to take the pressure off.
Charlotte asks Andy whether he got her message, and suggests they hang out& Andy makes excuses not to see her and after she leaves Andy tells Josh not to ask why. Outside Josh quizzes Andy about fobbing Charlotte off, suggesting that he's still hung up on Hannah. Andy admits that may be so but insists that he's with Charlotte.
Hannah and Chris have been in the water but Chris is still out of sorts. Hannah puts her foot in it saying that they're all worried about him, he's angry and thinks she's only there out of pity. When she says he's not being himself he lashes out saying that she doesn't know him, that no one does. Later Hannah apologises to Chris for pushing him into the bodyboarding. Chris tells her that he puts on the outgoing personality, that he hasn't always been that way. Hannah tells him that he only has to be himself with her and as they hug Andy sees them.
Leah finds out that her car wasn't tampered with. Zac tells Charlotte and Hunter, and is sorry that people doubted Hunter. Hunter isn't placated and when Zac tells him that he needs to control his temper Hunter pushes back defiantly and walks off. When Zac arrives home he tells Leah that Hunter thinks everyone is against him. Leah ends up telling Zac that Hunter frightens her and that she won't have anything to do with him anymore.
Principal Snelgrove gives out the exam results, Matt's happy with his despite still being beaten by Oscar. Josh also did well, but before there's time to celebrate Principal Snelgrove calls him into his office. He tells Josh that he can't tolerate drug taking in his school and expels Josh, dashing his hopes of studying architecture and everything that he's worked so hard for.
Wednesday 26 August:
Josh arrives home in a terrible mood, ignoring Andy and shoving past Ricky. Andy follows Josh inside and finds out that he's been expelled. Andy tries to think of options for Josh but he's angry and not open to suggestions.
Hannah helps Kat get ready to leave the hospital. Hannah notices Kat's face fall as she catches sight of Ricky following Nate. Kat covers and Nate takes Kat home. Kat suggests they order take out and relax together but Nate has promised to meet Ricky back at the hospital while they discuss Kyle's condition. Nate leaves a frustrated Kat at home. Later Kat vents to Hannah who reassures Kat but lets slip that Ricky left Nate for Brax, not knowing Nate hadn't told her.
Marilyn and John quiz Irene after she gets a call from James Fraser. James has asked Irene to go to England to look after Olivia while he goes to a conference. Marilyn and John think it's a no brainer – go to London, take the free holiday! Irene is persuaded, but then Marilyn stops her when she tries to use it an excuse to get out of her date. Before dinner Marilyn reassures a nervous Irene. When Greg arrives he tells Irene how good she looks and things seem to get off to a good start. Over dinner Greg talks about his work, and expelling a student which John quickly realises was Josh. Greg says he has to set an example but John think he might be being too harsh. Irene cuts in stopping the debate from going any further but then puts her own foot in it by laughing out loud when Greg mentions that he's considered retiring early to put more time into his passion of maintaining fish tanks. After an awkward moment Marilyn covers for Irene who recovers well and tells Greg that she thinks if something's worth doing it's worth doing well and they toast to that. In the kitchen John tries to get Marilyn to admit that Greg is incredibly boring but she won't, saying that Irene's happiness is all that matters. Irene comes in laughing at something Greg has said then tells Marilyn and John she can't stand him. Later, as Greg leaves he tries to make future plans with Irene but she fobs him off, using the trip to the UK to be vague. Nate arrives home giving Irene a welcome interruption and she quickly sees Greg out. Marilyn apologises for pushing Irene into the date but Irene says she's glad, she's been shown that dating really isn't that scary and that maybe she'll try again sometime.
Nate comforts Ricky who feels helpless, she's struggling to hold it together. Nate tells her that she doesn't always have to be the strong one but she says she does. Nate receives a text from Kat asking when he'll be done but he ignores it, telling Ricky that he can stay longer. When he gets to Kat she asks where he's been. She's upset that he stayed out with Ricky, and tells him that she only just found out how he and Ricky broke up. She tells him that it's not normal to be best mates with a woman who broke his heart. Nate promises that his and Ricky's relationship is in the past. He leaves, telling Kat that he understands trusting isn't easy for her but that she needs to find a way otherwise they are not going to work.
Josh is still stomping around and Andy tries a more subtle tactic but Josh is only taken in for a moment before he sees through Andy and has a go at him. Unperturbed Andy insists that he does think Josh's education is important, telling him that he doesn't want him to end up like himself – he wanted to be a mechanic, he never dreamed of working in a gym but his lack of schooling left him with few choices. Josh is given food for thought. Later things are calmer and Josh tells Andy that he shouldn't let go of his dream of being a mechanic but Andy thinks it's too late, reassuring Josh that he's happy doing what he does. Josh hesitantly tells Andy that he's going to find a way to finish his HSC. Andy promptly gets up and slaps Josh on the back of the head for worrying him. The brothers are getting back to normal.
The next day Ricky walks along the beach with Casey, bumping into Nate coming in from a paddle. Ricky can tell there's something wrong and as Nate tries to downtalk Kat's worries the folder that Ricky's holding is blown open and papers fly everywhere. Nate collects them up, both of them laughing and Nate doesn't notice Kat trying to call him. We cut to Kat, who leaves a message apologising. Hannah comes in and asks if Kat spoke to Nate about Ricky. Kat says she did, and that she really stuffed it up, that's why she's trying to call and talk to him. Meanwhile Nate's gathered up all of Ricky's papers and offers to hold Casey while she organises them. Once she's done, Ricky watches Nate with Casey for a moment, and things become a little charged between them. Ricky breaks the moment saying she should go and Nate hurriedly agrees, handing Casey back and leaving. Is there something between these two?
Thursday 27 August
Phoebe's coping with morning sickness as her and Ash chat about the baby. He is getting used to talking about the fact that it might be Kyle's, even making jokes about it. Phoebe takes this opportunity to talk him into dropping off some music to Kyle.
Kyle is being checked on by James, who asks Kyle to clear up some discrepancies on his medical report. In Melbourne he got stitches but when he arrived here they were already removed. When James questions who took them out, Kyle feigns ignorance to cover Nate's ass. When Ash arrives at the hospital, he mentions Phoebe's taking it easy because she's been a bit sick. Kyle is a little worried but after Ash exlplains it's only morning sickness, Kyle says he's sorry Ash has to deal with that. Ash is very firm that Phoebe is his girlfriend and he doesn't mind.
Kat apologises to Nate for questioning his relationship with Ricky. Nate tries to dismiss it, maybe feeling slightly guilty, but he accepts her apology and they make up. Phoebe rolls in and recruits Kat for a lazy day on the couch as Nate heads off to work. But soon Phoebe gets a call about her first ultrasound – the hospital had a cancellation so they can fit her in today. Phoebe apologises to Kat and makes to get ready as Kat asks if she's going to tell Ash or Kyle? Phoebe says it's no big deal but Kat offers to go with Phoebe.
Denny goes to visit Ricky and finds her in a serious daze, taking a while to realise Denny is there. Denny pulls her up on it and asks what's up. After swearing Denny to secrecy, Ricky tells her about the moment she and Nate had. She's pretty sure Nate was aware of it too. Denny asks how Ricky feels about it but Ricky isn't sure. Her head's been all over the place lately so maybe she's just reading into things. Denny probes a bit more but Ricky's adamant she's still in love with Brax. Denny says that doesn't mean she can't have feelings for someone else. Ricky says that's not what this is; her and Nate are just mates. Ricky then asks if they can pretend she never said anything and Denny is left bewildered.
At the hospital, Phoebe's getting her ultrasound with Kat by her side. She's positive they won't see much more than a smudge on the screen but as the image of her baby comes up on the screen and the sonographer turns up the sound, Phoebe can hear her baby's heartbeat. She's overcome with emotion and breaks into a huge smile. On their way out, Phoebe asks if Kat minds if she pops in to see Kyle. Kat makes her own way home. As Phoebe enters Kyle's room he smiles, he thought she was sick? She says she's feeling better now. Then she tells him about the ultrasound and how amazing it was. Later, Phoebe has the DVD copy of the scan to show to Kyle. She sets it up on a laptop and as he watches, Kyle is elated and can't stop smiling. Phoebe reaches out and holds his hand as they watch. Just then Ash turns up, and sees them through the window. He comes in, saying he got Phoebe's text to come. Phoebe then tells Ash she had an ultrasound and shows him the video as well. Kyle and Phoebe are both so happy but Ash looks worried. When Phoebe asks him later why he's acting, he says it's just seeing Billie that's shaken him up a bit.
Denny runs into Kat at the beach and she asks if Denny could head out tonight so Kat and Nate can have some alone time. She confides to Denny that her and Nate had a fight last night, over her accusing Nate of something going on between him and Ricky. Denny becomes silent, suddenly aware Kat's suspicions may have been founded.
Ricky goes to the hospital to visit Kyle but runs into Nate. They say hello but Ricky's quick to try and get away. Before she can, James walks up and asks if he can talk to Ricky about Kyle. He's trying to determine how his sepsis developed and his condition deteriorated so quickly. James says that Kyle doesn't seem to remember what happened but he left Melbourne in a stable condition. Ricky is a little defensive, not sure why this is important, but James insists it's very important since Kyle is now facing a life threatening condition. Before the conversation can escalate further Nate jumps in – He knows what happened. He tells James about taking Kyle's stitches out at home because the wound was infected. Nate admits that he should have done a full blood work up. He had no idea Kyle was turning septic. Ricky tries to defend Nate saying Kyle refused to come to hospital but Nate tells her it's ok. He looks James in the eye, admitting he didn't follow protocol and that's the reason why Kyle is in this situation now. Later James chastises Nate for not coming forward earlier and reveals he has no choice but to report this to the board.
Ash catches up with Ricky to unload about his real concerns over Phoebe's baby. It's a very weird situation watching an ultrasound with your girlfriend and her ex, not knowing who the father is! Ricky sympathises but reminds Ash that this is what he signed up for when he decided to stick by Phoebe. Ash just isn't sure how long he can pretend that this pregnancy is something he wants. He loves Phoebe and doesn't want to make things harder for her, so maybe he should just shut up and get on with it. Ricky says it'll get easier once they know who the father is. Ash hopes so.
Kat arrives at the hospital to invite Nate to dinner tonight, having the house to themselves, but Nate's despondent. He tells her he's been reported for medical negligence. Before she can respond, buzzers go off in Kyle's room and Nate rushes in. Kyle is having anyphilaxis and struggling to breathe. Once they stablise him Nate comes out and explains to Kat that he had an allergic reaction to the dialysis. Nate then gets some test results back for Kyle and makes a call to Ricky. They meet up outside the diner and Nate explains that Kyle is getting much worse. He's lost almost all of his kidney function. Phoebe and Ash see them talking from afar and walk up, asking what's going on. Ricky says it's about Kyle. Nate lays it out for them – right now the only thing that will save Kyle's life is a kidney transplant.
Friday 28 August:
Ricky, Phoebe and Ash walk to the car, talking about getting tested to donate a kidney to Kyle. Ash has to tell Phoebe that she can't, she's pregnant. Phoebe reluctantly agrees, she just hates feeling helpless.
Kat stops by to see Nate. Kat is caring but they end up arguing after she asks whether Kyle's deterioration will affect Nate's career. Nate leaves, saying he has to get back to the hospital. Ricky, Phoebe and Ash are gathered in Kyle's room reassuring him when Nate walks in. Nate asks how the dialysis is making Kyle feel, and then Ricky and Ash tell Kyle that they're going to get tested to see if they can be donors for him. Kyle refuses, saying he won't accept a kidney from them. Ricky and Phoebe try to persuade him but it takes Ricky bluntly telling him that he has to accept their help for him to back down.
In the diner James is flirting with Roo when Denny walks in. She orders and asks James if they've met before. James tells her that he has one of those faces and Denny seems to accept that and goes to sit at a table. After her coffee though she comes and sits with James, insisting that she's seen him before. She tries to guess where they might have met and James shuts her down abruptly. Denny leaves, a little taken aback and when Roo asks what happened, James tells her that he had to shut Denny down because she was asking about Kyle, citing patient confidentiality. His phone rings and he gets it, saying he should probably get back to the hospital.
Ricky follows James into Kyle's room trying to persuade him that Nate wasn't at fault, he just did what Ricky asked but James won't talk about it. He goes on to tell Kyle, Ricky, Phoebe and Ash that although Heath isn't a match, their brother Darryl is. Kyle tries to stop him but James is on a roll, telling him that it could save Kyle's life. Ricky has to speak up, saying Brax passed away. James apologises, saying they will just wait for the results.
Ricky bumps into Nate and thanks him for coming back for Kyle. Ricky's voice catches and Nate asks what's wrong. Ricky tells him that Brax could have been a donor and breaks down, saying it's cruel. Nate holds her and as he's comforting her Kat sees them. Nate and Kat exchange a loaded look. Back at the house Nate and Kat argue about Ricky, Nate accuses Kat of being jealous but Kat insists she's not, that his close relationship with Ricky is the problem. The conversation ends with Nate telling Kat to leave.
Denny finds Ricky at home, cleaning furiously. Denny makes Ricky tell her what's wrong. Ricky tells Denny about Kyle needing a kidney transplant and that Brax would have been a match. Denny insists that Ricky go and lie down, she'll do the cleaning. A shocked Denny finds a note addressed to Ricky, tucked behind the shelves: 'Ash lied! Brax is still alive'. After her nap a grateful, refreshed Ricky finds Denny in the garden, but she acts oddly and leaves, taking the note with her.
Phoebe watches Ash surfing then they talk about waiting for the test results, Phoebe is impatient to find out if anyone's a match. When Phoebe mentions Brax being a match she asks Ash if he's okay, saying how he acts strangely whenever anyone mentions Brax.
James and Roo meet in the caravan park and James inadvertently almost tells Roo he loves her. She stops him and he won't say it again, but when he says maybe it's a bit soon she tells him she loves him too. They seal it with a kiss. Later in the diner Roo watches James as he eats breakfast, and takes her wedding ring off. She goes over to sit with him, and they talk about her meeting his family sometime. When Roo tries to pin down a date James is evasive. Denny then walks in and demands to speak to Ash, who's sitting at another table. Outside on the pier a distressed Denny confronts Ash about Brax still being alive. She's upset and demands that he contact Brax to tell him to come and save Kyle.
Kat tries to apologise to Nate again but he doesn't want to hear it, saying there's too much baggage and that they need some space.
Denny takes Ash to see Ricky and Phoebe but before he can be made to tell them about Brax, Ricky's phone rings. After the call Ricky tells them that she's not a match but that Ash is. Ash says he'll do it, 'it's what Brax would do'…


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text:
Soft Tissue Decomposition of Submerged, Dismembered Pig Limbs Enclosed in Plastic Bags*
- *
Research was completed as part of the "FSC481Y5Y: Internship in Forensic Science" course at the University of Toronto Mississauga in the 2007–2008 academic year. Funding shared by the Toronto Police Service Marine Unit and Caitlin M. Pakosh.
Additional information and reprint requests:
Tracy L. Rogers, Ph.D.
Department of Anthropology
University of Toronto Mississauga
3359 Mississauga Rd. North
North Building, Room 225
Mississauga, Ontario
Canada L5L 1C6
E-mail: email@example.com
Abstract: This study examines underwater soft tissue decomposition of dismembered pig limbs deposited in polyethylene plastic bags. The research evaluates the level of influence that disposal method has on underwater decomposition processes and details observations specific to this scenario. To our knowledge, no other study has yet investigated decomposing, dismembered, and enclosed remains in water environments. The total sample size consisted of 120 dismembered pig limbs, divided into a subsample of 30 pig limbs per recovery period (34 and 71 days) for each treatment. The two treatments simulated non-enclosed and plastic enclosed disposal methods in a water context. The remains were completely submerged in Lake Ontario for 34 and 71 days. In both recovery periods, the non-enclosed samples lost soft tissue to a significantly greater extent than their plastic enclosed counterparts. Disposal of remains in plastic bags therefore results in preservation, most likely caused by bacterial inhibition and reduced oxygen levels.


text:
From the Publisher
"Those old cows knew trouble was coming before we did." So begins the story of Lily Casey Smith, Jeannette Walls's no-nonsense, resourceful, and spectacularly compelling grandmother. By age six, Lily was helping her father break horses. At fifteen, she left home to teach in a frontier town—riding five hundred miles on her pony, alone, to get to her job. She learned to drive a car and fly a plane. And, with her husband, Jim, she ran a vast ranch in Arizona. She raised two children, one who is Jeannette's memorable mother, Rosemary Smith Walls, unforgettably portrayed in The Glass Castle.
Lily survived tornadoes, droughts, floods, the Great Depression, and the most heartbreaking personal tragedy. She bristled at prejudice of all kinds—against women, Native Americans, and anyone else who didn't fit the mold. Rosemary Smith Walls always told Jeannette that she was like her grandmother, and in this true-life novel, Jeannette Walls channels that kindred spirit. Half Broke Horses is Laura Ingalls Wilder for adults, as riveting and dramatic as Isak Dinesen's Out of Africa or Beryl Markham's West with the Night. Destined to become a classic, it will transfix readers everywhere.
Topics: Horses, Family, Great Depression, Teachers, Farming, Courage, Coming of Age, Adventurous, Dramatic, Funny, Gritty, Depression Era, First Person Narration, Arizona, Texas, New Mexico, Based on a True Story, and Semi-Autobiographical


text:
In 1920, a hallmark of Warren G. Harding's campaign for the presidency was the call for a return to "normalcy." Was his call relevant to the national situation?
1 Answer | Add Yours
Clearly, Harding's call for a return to normalcy was relevant to the national situation as it helped him to get elected.
In the 1910s, the United States had had anything but "normalcy." In foreign affairs there had, of course, been World War I. In domestic policy, the country had been going through the Progressive Era. This had involved strong efforts by the government to create major changes in society. The government had been trying to regulate business. It had been trying to regulate people's lives (Prohibition). Women had gotten the vote. All of these things were examples of major changes. In this context, there would have been many people who would have liked a return to normalcy.
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