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on February 19, 2013 - 4:26 PM
For a 30-year-old waterfront parking lot, things are moving fast.
One year after Mayor Byron W. Brown made development of the city-owned Webster Block the centerpiece of his State of the City address, the Buffalo Sabres have secured every approval they need and are poised to spend $172.2 million to create a magnet for hockey lovers, complete with indoor ice rinks, a hotel and parking ramp.
Brown chose the Sabres' HarborCenter Development in August, following a request for proposals for the site, and construction will start in early March. It's an unusually quick turnaround in the world of economic development in Western New York.
"It says we can get these big projects done in Buffalo," Brown said. "This project is completely hitting all of the timelines we laid out perfectly."
In separate meetings Tuesday, HarborCenter won nearly $37 million in tax breaks from the Erie County Industrial Development Agency, got approval from the Common Council to purchase the parcel from the city for $2.2 million and received a favorable vote on its design from the Erie Canal Harbor Development Corp.
A ceremonial groundbreaking will be held when the weather warms up, but Sabres officials said they expect to begin construction on March 1 and have the rinks and parking structure open by September 2014.
Developers are spending $8.7 million to clean up the site and anticipate receiving $20 million in state brownfield tax credits. Over the years the property has been used for oil storage, oil refining, a machine shop and a brass foundry.
The site has been a parking lot since the 1980s, following industrial and commercial uses that date back to the 1820s, according to the state Department of Environmental Conservation.
In the last 15 years, grand plans for the parcel, bounded by Main, Perry, Washington and Scott streets, have not come to fruition. In 1999, the Rigas family, then-owners of the Sabres and Adelphia Communications, announced plans to build an office tower, retail and entertainment space there. Those plans were shelved in 2002 when company executives faced charges of corporate looting.
The Sabres' proposal is designed to create a new tourism draw for downtown Buffalo to complement the canals, ships, parks and other features already in place or under way on the waterfront.
HarborCenter, financed by the Sabres and team owner Terry Pegula, will include the National Hockey League's only three-rink complex and a bridge over Perry Street that will connect to First Niagara Center.
Brown and Sabres officials said they have fielded calls from Toronto and Fort Erie, Ont., among other cities, seeking information on the project. They said they believe the project will make Buffalo a regional hockey destination.
Plans call for two NHL-quality skating rinks; a full-service hotel with 200 rooms, possibly affiliated with the Marriott brand; a five-level parking garage with 845 spaces; and 20,000 square feet of retail and restaurant space, as well as a center for excellence to train hockey players and coaches.
"Part of the design, part of the reason we have a full-service hotel and a sports bar, is because we expect every other weekend from October to April to have tournaments, and we hope those are going to be all new people," said Cliff Benson, Sabres' chief development officer. "We're not trying to take tenants or teams from any other rink. We all know there's a lack of ice time here in Buffalo."
Efforts also will be made to attract a diverse base of rink users, from local schoolchildren who don't often have the chance to skate to figure-skating organizations.
The ECIDA approved a nearly $37 million tax incentive package that includes $28 million in property tax breaks over 10 years, $7.5 million in sales tax savings and $1.2 million in mortgage-recording tax breaks. Almost simultaneously, the Erie Canal Harbor Development Corp. gave its backing to the design of the massive project, which will be located on the edge of the Canalside development.
The Common Council unanimously approved the $2.2 million sale of the nearly two-acre parcel of land, after a public hearing that included debates about parking, traffic flow and impacts on public views of the water.
Washington Street will become narrower, but two lanes of traffic will remain, as it is now.
It wasn't completely smooth sailing for the project.
"This parking ramp is unnecessary and would be very bad for the historic Cobblestone District," said Tim Tielman of the Neighborhood Workshop, who unveiled an alternative concept for the site last week. Tielman urged the Council to delay its vote.
But generally, the project received favorable reviews Tuesday.
"This is an extremely important project for the City of Buffalo," said John LaFalce, chairman of the ECIDA board and a former congressman. "There is no question that this will be beneficial not only to Erie County but to all of Western New York."
Erie County Executive Mark C. Poloncarz raised the question of whether the project would go ahead anyway, even without incentives, and stressed that the ECIDA shouldn't "just provide incentives on any project, but on projects that need it." But he also noted the "transformational impact" of HarborCenter.
"I believe this is the type of project that we want to say to the rest of the world that we can get things right," he said.
The city negotiated special agreements with the Sabres, calling for 25 percent of construction workers on the project to be minorities and 5 percent to be women, as well as setting goals for permanent hires from the local community and paying prevailing wages on construction jobs. The Sabres and city officials also have discussed dedicating a "certain amount of ice time" for public skating and community events, as well as the creation of skating or hockey programs for the underserved, according to ECIDA documents.
The Coalition for Economic Justice, which has advocated for payment of a living wage and the use of local labor for construction and permanent positions, praised the ECIDA for granting the tax breaks.
"The Sabres have gone beyond what IDAs require in corporate subsidy deals," said Michaela Shapiro-Shellaby, coalition organizing director.
Under the plan, the hockey facility, to be located on the sixth and seventh floors, would seat about 2,000 spectators and would include eight locker rooms, concessions, restrooms, a concourse, and administrative and maintenance areas.
The hotel would open in April 2015 and is expected to mostly serve the demand generated by the HarborCenter project itself. It's expected to generate about 6,000 "room nights" per year and would produce $5.5 million in "bed tax" revenues over 10 years.
In all, the team and Pegula would spend $149.2 million on construction, plus $10.8 million on equipment and another $10 million on "soft costs." The biggest portion would be for the parking garage, at 371,000 square feet, plus the 144,000-square-foot hotel and 115,000 square feet for the skating rinks. Only about 400 of the parking spaces are needed for the building itself, with the rest available to support Canalside overall.
The new facility would employ 205 full-time workers and 160 part-time workers, mostly in the hotel and restaurant. Those workers will earn $132 million over 10 years, with an average of $32,000 per year. Construction alone would produce 1,648 full-time equivalent jobs, with a total payroll of $98 million and an average of $59,000 per year.
The project would pay $1.2 million in property taxes to the county and $6.3 million to the city over the 10-year abatement period, compared with no payments for the city-owned property now. Additionally, the project will generate $4.4 million in other state and local taxes in its first year and $56 million over 10 years, while the construction will generate $9.6 million in sales and other taxes.
email: firstname.lastname@example.com and email@example.com


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Nanochip, Inc., a
Silicon Valley startup, has managed to raise $14 million in funding
from Intel Capital, Intel's global investment organization, for further
development of the MEMS technology.
You read it right: gigabytes, not gigabits.
to Nanochip (PDF), the technology isn't lithography constrained, allowing
production of chips of more than 1GB in capacity, in plants that have
already been deemed outdated by current standards.
The lack of
lithography constraints means cheaper products, resulting in an
opportunity to also replace flash memory, as the technology is also
Today's factories should be able to produce the
first products, estimated at 100GB per chip, when the technology is
expected to be unleashed for public consumption by 2010. The first
samples will be available during 2009.
or phase change memory, was expected to be the technology to replace
flash in the coming years, since it is also non-volatile, while it is
much faster than flash. As Intel found out over the last few years, PRAM doesn't seemed to scale so well,
in regards to density, and still has some boundaries to overcome --
namely it's thermal principles of operation.
quote: SI is base ten no doubt. But Bytes and bits are not SI units. So why should I case about SI prefixes?
quote: From Merriam-Webster dictionary:GigaEtymology: International Scientific Vocabulary, from Greek gigas giant: billion (10^9) <gigahertz> <gigawatt>Notice words number two through four there? International Scientific Vocabulary . In other words, your opinion counts for nothing. And if you still want to argue, take it up with the National Institute of Standards and Technology. Here, I'll even give you the link to the .pdf: http://physics.nist.gov/cuu/pdf/sp811.pdf
quote: You done now? I am Greek. I know the word. The word itself (???a?, actually pronounced "gigas" (soft 'g')) does mean giant, yes, but gigabytes and gigahertz and gigawatts are not giantbytes and gianthertz and giantwatts. They're billions. Same as a terabyte and a terahertz and a terawatt are not monsterbytes and monsterhertz and monsterwatts. Those are trillions. Stop confusing standard convention in the scientific community with the etymology of ancient Greek words.Nobody was ever saying bytes and bits were SI units. We were saying the prefixes used to describe them in quantity (including kilo, mega, giga and tera) are SI prefixes and are attached to specific quantities.
quote: First of all the word Giga is Latin not Greek...
quote: If you are Greek why did you say the word giga was Latin?

subset: commoncrawl


text: Workers with American Plate Glass of Wheeling install a new exterior door at Allison Elementary School in Chester on Wednesday. The doors are being installed as part of a $5.3 million renovation project at Allison, scheduled to be done this spring. The men, citing union policy, declined to identify themselves. Hancock County students return to school from Christmas break today. (Photo by Stephen Huba)


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Entertainment Photos
Photos: Food truck fest offered Texas-sized fun at Rangers Ballpark at Arlington
Photo: Alexandra Olivia
More than 50 food trucks ranging from sweet treats to Texas sized hot dogs gather for a huge festival at the Food Truck Festival at the Arlington Ball Park in Arlington, TX on April 27, 2013.
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Located in the heart of Downtown Los Angeles's Fashion District, Mypromlook.com is the leading supplier of special occasion dresses, wedding dresses, wedding party dresses, and accessories. We carry a wide selection of dresses in various styles, colors, and sizes. Customers can select their favorite dresses here with great satisfaction.
Fabulous Dresses for Every girl!
Mypromlook.com has a strong online presence when it comes to delivering exquisite collections of Homecoming 2015 Dresses, Prom 2015 Dresses, Cocktail Dresses, Evening Dresses and diverse selections of Special Occasion and Event Dresses. We go out of our way to handpick the best selections of dresses available, and deliver every woman the perfect Dress for her special event. Mypromlook.com online shopping experience is just as good if not better than shopping at a store. Browse through our wedding, Prom Dresses, Homecoming Dresses, Cocktail Dresses, or Evening Gowns categories to find precisely what you are looking for. We have further categorized our diverse collection of dresses by style and event to help you find your ideal dress with ease. Our Collection of Special Event Dresses are separated by category to help you easily navigate through our site. With our simple zoom system, we give you the experience of taking a closer look at the dress. Simply click on your preferred dress and run the mouse over the length of the dress to take a closer look at the details. We also offer a front, profile, and back view allowing you to view all aspects of the dress. We offer a diverse color selection for many dresses in our catalogue, making the process of locating your perfect dress super simple. The selections of dresses feature a wide assortment of silhouettes including the classic ball gown silhouette, High Low design, sheath and mermaid silhouettes.
Buy Dresses Online with Mypromlook.com
Our motto is to place our customers first. We are constantly adding new products to our site to serve the needs of our growing clientele base. Feel free to have a chat with one of our sales agents to help you find exactly what you are looking for. Whether you are searching for the trendiest Prom Dresses available, an elegant evening dress for a gala event or simply looking for a hot number for a night on the town; Mypromlook.com has the right dress for you. So, start shopping and get lost in our fantasy-becomes-reality world of formal and feminine glitz and glamour.


text:
Select Free Shipping under Category Search PageProducts with Free Shipping Icon!
Select Free Shipping under Category Search Page
Products with Free Shipping Icon!
Eligibles orders must be above 12,000 JPY in value from a single shop placed during the campaign period on Rakuten Global Market.
Shipment date must be by June 30th from the merchant.
2014/5/13 10:00 to 2014/5/17 9:59 (Japan Standard Time)
Product Shipping Deadline:2014/6/30 23:59 (Japan Standard Time)
All countries (except for Japan)
*Orders delivered to Tenso.com addresses or any other addresses within Japan, provided by forwarding services, and other such services are not eligible.
Orders of 12,000 Yen~15,000 Yen …Free Shipping up to 3,000 Yen
Orders over 15,000 Yen …Free Shipping up to 5,000 Yen
If the shipping fee is greater than the promotion, the customer will bear the additional shipping costs.
*Multiple orders cannot be consolidated, nor can their value be added and be counted as a single order.
*Purchase amount does not include shipping or wrapping.
*1 order= an order with the same order number. The order number is displayed on the screen after each purchase is complete.
*If the total purchase amount of one order is more than 12,000 JPY or 15,000 JPY, but a part of the cost was redeemed by Rakuten points, the order is still eligible for this campaign.
Only regular purchases from Rakuten Global Market
For international shipping, the store will send you a shipping fee confirmation email to let you know the total amount of shipping fees owed. In cases where the shipping charges exceed 3,000 JPY or 5,000 JPY, the customer shall be responsible to pay the difference.
For orders containing pre-ordered products, the order will only be eligible for this campaign if the order is shipped before June 30th, 2014.
In the case Rakuten determines a misuse of this campaign, the order may be deemed ineligible.
For more information on Rakuten Global Market kindly check our Help Page.


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TRUCKEE, Calif. - Below are select incidents from the Truckee Police Department's press log for Sept. 18-25, along with previously unreported incidents.Sept. 18• A victim reported vandalism to his vehicle and wanted the case to be documented for informational purposes. The incident occurred on Brockway Road.• An off duty law enforcement officer called in a possible DUI driver. Police officers located the vehicle being driven and performed a traffic enforcement stop. The driver was arrested for DUI.Sept. 19• A subject was stopped for vehicle code violations on Donner pass Road. The subject was found to be under the influence of alcohol and arrested for DUI. The vehicle was towed and the subject was booked at Nevada County Sheriff's Office in Truckee.• A subject was contacted downtown and found to be intoxicated. The subject was ejected from local bar for entering without identification/proof of age. The subject became combative with patrons and was subsequently arrested for public intoxication and booked into Nevada County Sheriff's Office.Sept. 20• Officers responded to a report of three persons who were just involved in a physical altercation on Martis Valley Road. The investigation resulted in one male subject being arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery. • A female subject was arrested for public intoxication and released with no pending charges. • Officers responded to a property on West River Street to follow up on domestic violence incident that occurred prior. The domestic violence incident was documented and reported. While on scene, the victim of the domestic violence admitted to lying in the original domestic violence report and was subsequently arrested for false report. Sept. 21• A reporting party found a mountain bike on Badger Lane. Sept. 22• Officers reported a theft of property from an unlocked vehicle with associated vandalism to vehicle interior. There is no suspect information at this time. The incident occurred on East Ridge Road.Sept. 23• An Amtrak conductor called to report a subject who had boarded his train without a ticket. The subject was contacted and found to be too intoxicated to care of himself. He was booked for drunk in public. The District Attorney will review the case for charge of fare evasion. • Officers took a report of a physical fight a male and a female on the westbound interstate 80 off ramp at Central Truckee. The male was arrested for misdemeanor domestic violence and the female was arrested for public intoxication. • A subject was contacted passed out inside vehicle with paraphernalia on her lap on Alder Drive. A search of her belongings revealed illegal prescription medication and other paraphernalia. • A bicycle was left unattended on East River Street. The bike was booked into evidence at the Police Department for storage.• A male subject was involved in a verbal altercation with a customer on Church Street. The following day, the male subject found his front windshield was vandalized.
Back to: News
October 4, 2012
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on November 10, 2012 - 9:12 PM
, updated November 10, 2012 at 9:32 PM
State Police in Clarence are asking the public's help in locating a Clarence woman wanted on an indictment warrant.
Mary Ann Likers, 41, is wanted for third-degree grand larceny and 11 counts of first-degree falsifying business records – both felonies, state police said Saturday. She was indicted in December 2009 and released on her own recognizance, but failed to return to Eric County Court.
Likers has family in Canada and authorities believe she travels back and forth between Buffalo and Ontario.


text: The default remote control for your Apple TV is small, slick, and smooth. To many users, of Apple's "hobby" device, it is also thought to be too small and somewhat limited in features. For those of you have found the Apple TV to be limited only by its remote… you have likely found the iOS remote to be a decent alternative to Apples' hardware offering. Though this iOS remote can help fill the void, eventually you will want to control your Apple TV while using your iOS (iPhone, iPad, iPod) device for something else.


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Real Men. Real Depression.
NIMH Launches First Public Health Education Campaign to Reach Men with Depression.
April 1, 2003 -- The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), one of the National Institutes of Health, today announced the launch of the first national campaign to raise awareness that depression is a major public health problem affecting an estimated 6 million men annually. Research suggests that men are less likely to seek treatment for this serious illness; data also show that men die by suicide at four times the rate of women.
The public health education campaign from the NIMH – "Real Men. Real Depression." – features the personal stories of men who live with depression: a firefighter, a national diving champion, a retired Air Force sergeant, a lawyer, a publisher, and a college student.
"For generations men have been told that they have to act tough," U.S. Surgeon General Richard Carmona said. "Today we're saying to men, it's okay to talk to someone about what you're thinking, or how you're feeling, or if you're hurting. We are attacking the stigma that tough guys can't seek help. They can and they should."
Research studies have found that depression affects twice as many women as men. However, research and clinical findings reveal that women and men may talk differently – or in the case of men, not talk – about the symptoms of depression.
"This campaign is aimed at men. The hope here is to address men who have depression," said Dr. Thomas Insel, Director, NIMH. "Men who may not even recognize that depression is the problem or that much can be done to help them. Effective treatments are available and the success rate is very high – more than 80 percent – for people who seek help."
NIMH and documentary film producer Leslie Wiener developed a series of television, print and radio public service announcements (PSAs) featuring real people, not actors, telling their stories of how depression affected them.
The primary message of the PSAs is that it takes courage to ask for help. These men did and treatment for depression has helped them get back to their jobs, their families, and the activities they enjoyed before they began coping with the symptoms of depression. Patrick McCathern, First Sergeant, U.S. Air Force, Retired, is one of the men who got the help he needed to deal with his depression.
"I'd gotten to the point where I couldn't get out of bed. Nothing had meaning," McCathern said. "You have to deal with it; it just doesn't go away."
Depression is a serious medical condition that affects the body, mind and behavior. Depression can strike anyone regardless of age, ethnic background, socioeconomic status, or gender; symptoms of depression vary among individuals.
Instead of acknowledging their feelings, asking for help, or seeking appropriate treatment, men with depression may be more likely to turn to alcohol or drugs, or to become frustrated, discouraged, angry or irritable. Some men may throw themselves compulsively into their work or hobbies, attempting to hide their depression from themselves, family, and friends; other men may respond to depression by engaging in reckless behavior.
"This is an important area of research," said Dr. Dennis Charney, Chief, Mood and Anxiety Disorders Program, NIMH. "We need to understand how men respond to stress and symptoms associated with depression, and how to alert physicians to better recognize and treat depressive disorders in men."
"Men lead very complex lives, balancing many responsibilities," Dr. Insel said. "Depression can impair their ability to be successful."
Firefighter Jimmy Brown and retired police officer Rene Ruballo, two of the real men featured in the campaign. Read their personal stories.
Symptoms of Depression
Symptoms of depression include:
Individuals and organizations are encouraged to call the campaign toll-free number (1-866-227-6464) and to access the NIMH Web site to learn more.
NIMH is one of the 27 components that make up NIH, the Federal Government's primary agency for biomedical and behavioral research. NIH is part of the Department of Health and Human Services.


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Irving-based Michaels Stores CEO John Menzer has resigned following a stroke in April
Irving-based Michaels Stores Inc. said today that chief executive officer John Menzer has resigned to focus on recovery and rehabilitation from the stroke he suffered in April.
The largest U.S. arts and crafts chain has started a search for a new CEO, the company said.
About 93 percent of Michaels is owned by private equity firms Bain Capital and Blackstone Group LP. In March, the retailer said it planned an initial public offering that would raise $500 million.
Menzer joined Michaels in March 2009 from Wal-Mart Stores Inc., where he was vice chairman and chief administrative officer. In a New York Times article published in April, he was named as one of the top Wal-Mart executives who allegedly stymied an internal investigation in 2005 over suspect payments made in Mexico.
In May, the board created an interim office of the chief executive to fill in while Menzer, 61, was on medical leave.
Michaels chief financial officer Charles "Chuck" Sonsteby and Lew Klessel, a managing director of Bain Capital Partners LLC, assumed the interim responsibilities together.
The company was taken private in October 2006 by Bain and Blackstone in a $6 billion leveraged buyout. In May, Michaels said that it ended the first quarter with $385 million in cash and $3.49 billion in debt.


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I am testing the analytic privilege, seems its not working perfectly.
so i started creating new package and started testing.
I created new package ZZZZ under Contents and analytical view V1.
when i data preview its giving below error.
SAP DBTech JDBC:2048 Column store error:search table error:2950 user is not authorized.
Below is the current situation
I have already added Schema in Usr1 ->SQL privilege as well as SYS_REPO user ->SQL privilege too.
Column view is created under SYS_BIC. But data preview is giving error.
Can you pls advice. what to check.
Regards Magalingam
Hello Chandra,
yes, column view is created in the _sys_bic.
If you want to use the analytical privilege then you have to add the created analytical privilege in the user's analytical privilege under the authorization.
Hope it is useful.
Hello Neha Thanks for support for today and yesterday. Before creating analytic privilege i cannot see the data preview of analytic view. I get above error. do you know why? Regards Magalingam
Hello Chandra,
Could you please share the screenshot for the error.
Check once have to given the proper authorization for the schema that is select and execute.
Hello Neha yes i have only Select option checked in Schema. I am trying to check EXECUTE option. but it says below error Could not execute 'grant EXECUTE on schema XXXUSR1 to XXXUSR1' SAP DBTech JDBC: [7]: feature not supported: grantor and grantee are identical. I cannot change either with SYSTEM OR other user too. Regards
Hello chandra,
You can able to select the "Select" option only, because it is created by the other user. If you will select the "select option" then also you will be able to see the record.
Execute will work only for the user who create the schema and table within schema.
If your user has MODELING Role added,and if _SYS_REPO has the schema with select priv,then you will be able to see the data during Data Preview.But in this case you can't realize the use of Analytic Privilege.
So create a New Analytic Priv and add your Analytic View.Activate the Analytic Priv.Assign this to your user via SYSTEM user.
Remove the MODELING role for that user and do data preview of the Analytic View.
Now you will be able to see the data based on the restriction you applied in Analytic Priv.
This is very simple to understand and realize with handson.
Hi Murali Thanks for reply. i will check out this. before that do you have idea how to grant access for below view I am trying to check EXECUTE option for my schema in SQL privilege. but it says below error Could not execute 'grant EXECUTE on schema XXXUSR1 to XXXUSR1' SAP DBTech JDBC: [7]: feature not supported: grantor and grantee are identical. I cannot change either with SYSTEM/Same user/other user too. How to handle this. Regards
Hello Chandra,
Here to go..
1. User1 created the schema schema1. user able to add the schema1 in the _sys_repo or SQL priviledge with select and execute option.
2. Other user or admin can add the schema1 in SQL priviledge using Select option only.
Then after that they able to see the data.
Hope it is helpful.
Hi Neha and Muruli
Thanks for support.
Almost Analytic privilege and basic errors are solved with ur support.
Let me come to final error, displayed in this topic. Any idea or clue how to find the problem from below error.
Error; SAP DBTech JDBC:2048 Column store error:search table error:2950 user is not authorized.
Hi Chandra,
This is with User Authorization issue only.
I guess you are doing the Data Preview with Non System user who has been assigned with Analytic Privilege.Make sure the Schema which has tables is assigned to your user and _SYS_REPO user with Select with Grant option.
Kindly let me know.if you still face any other issue
Hi Chandra,
In addition to ensuring the addition of schema for your user and adding the same in _SYS_REPO, also check if analytic privilege is actually assigned to your user.
Reason: If you modify an analytic privilege after adding to a user, the privilege gets removed from the users.
Also, check if user has 'SELECT' privilege on _SYS_BI schema.
And: I hope you are trying to preview the same view on which privileges were assigned.The exact error you mention is seen when user does not have privileges on a view and tries to do data preview.
Regards, Rahul
Hello Murali/Neha,
I'm facing the same error. I have created analytical priv using my ADMIN id. I assigned this priv to the APP id. When I try to preview data using APP id, I'm getting the same authorization error. I have given SELECT access to all the schemas and SELECT,EXECUTE for _SYS_BI and SYS_BIC.
I'm able to preview data with the ID used for creating analytical privilege.
Note : I used the same approach in quality system and was able to see the data.
Any suggestion will be really helpful.
Hi Anil,
Do you have Select Priv with grant Yes option in _SYS_REPO for your schema.If not,give that.
Hello Anil,
You need to add the schema in the _sys_repo. Pleas try it. How it will helpful.
I have given SELECT with Grantable to others option to the user _SYS_REPO. It seems strange as I can see the data with the id used for creating analytical privilege.
Hope _SYS_REPO access is fine , else it won't allow me to preview data then also.
Hello Anil,
Could you please elaborate more what you are trying to achieve.
I am sorry but i not geting you..
I deleted the existing analytical priv and recreated one. After assigning this one, the user is able to see the data.
I'm not sure if I missed anything in first one created.
Anyways thanks for the replies.


text:
on November 18, 2012 - 12:01 AM
Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I enjoy meeting new people, friends of friends and fellow attendees at various events. We are easygoing, genuinely interested in others and adventurous, so we receive many invitations to treks and events that we cannot attend, which we politely decline.
Usually, people get the picture pretty quickly and they turn into solid acquaintances whom we have great, albeit thin, relationships with. This is a good problem to have, and we feel good about these relationships.
However, this has put off a few of these acquaintances, once in a public and pointed diatribe about how we are terrible friends. I know this friend is not wrong, but clearly didn't see our relationship the same way we did.
How do we set the expectations so that these dear people know we value them and like to run into them/meet up at events of common interest, but can't possibly nurture a friendship with them? As an event or gathering winds up, there are always conversations about repeating the adventure, or at least hanging out again soon.
I don't want to end on a sour note by declining friendships or dismissing the very real connections that have been made, but am at a loss for what to say to not build up the expectation that we should immediately pursue a deep friendship.
I feel that Facebook has exacerbated the problem. We don't run a big-tent social life, inviting everyone to everything, so I get the feeling that when pictures of a dinner out or a camping weekend are posted, it appears that we are ignoring acquaintances.
Note that we don't expect them to be perfect friends, we don't make demands of acquaintances, and when any of them hit hard times we are there to help with moves, breakups and other important steps in their lives. If they ask if we can do something, we are clear with a yes or a no.
We feel great about the best friends we have (a dozen or so) and nurture them through nearly daily conversations and frequent adventures together. There are plenty of great models for friendships, but too few about how to be a good acquaintance.
Gentle Reader: Indeed, Facebook has done huge damage to the etiquette rule against flaunting social events in sight of people who were not invited.
Especially as your events are small, couldn't you send the pictures only to the participants? Do you really need to tell the rest of the world what a good time you are having?
It is not that Miss Manners disagrees with your distinction between close friends and acquaintances. You would be vastly overextended if you did not set limitations. The polite way to do so is to say: "We seem to be ridiculously overcommitted these days, but let's keep in touch. We always enjoy running into you."
Dressing for wedding
Dear Miss Manners: Can my 15-year-old granddaughter wear a short cocktail dress to a black-tie wedding?
Gentle Reader: Can you stop her?
Drafted by his ex
Dear Miss Manners: I received a text message from an ex-girlfriend who volunteered me to cook for a benefit for one of her friends whom I do not even know.
We talk on a very limited basis and we are dating other people.
When I received the text message, I was very surprised and did not know how to respond.
At the very least a phone call would have been appropriate. Your thoughts?
Gentle Reader: Chiefly that it is easy to see why this relationship is defunct.
The only obligation Miss Manners considers that you have here is to inform those in charge of the benefit that the lady was not authorized to speak for you.
Complimenting cook
Dear Miss Manners: My husband does not feel it is proper for him to compliment my cooking when we have dinner guests. However, he will compliment my cooking if it is just the two of us. What do you say?
Gentle Reader: About your cooking?
If Miss Manners were your guest and your husband complimented you on a meal she was eating: "Yes, it's wonderful; I was just going to mention that."
It is to avoid the appearance of prompting the guests that your husband wisely refrains from saying anything. You should compliment him on that ... in private.