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The doubt and anger are here again No surprise, my new friend Believed I could keep it all away Now it's about to steal me away Come steal me away. Again, and again Why can't I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face Hearts are craters, deep as wells Fill them up and hold on well Sand and mud, the liquid seeps Dirty tears and sorrows creep Creep in to swallow me. Again, and again Why can't I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face Told you, I told you. Remember I did? This time it was raw, nothing I hid Unacceptable loathing and regret Nothing to explain, at least not yet You will see though. Again, and again Why can't I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face Consuming distraction, love that I know It's dying already with no place to go You won't agree and you won't see It will never be enough for me You will hate me so. Again, and again Why can't I change the parts that I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face Let me go, for I am already gone I'm sorry to make you believe this long Hopeless rage, directed at you Walls constructed to block the view But you will still want me. Again, and again. I can't change the parts I hate, and I'll never be happy again. Again
Alone in loneliness Amid forever nights And these four walls In faint, whisper soft your name I beg out loud to the nothingness that remains "Please not another nightmare, no more storms" But, answers are merely glimpses of light From lightening... Filtering through the pane Empty sheets... Cast empty shadows on the wall Of places where you used to be Eyes wide open Now asleep, afraid I am to fall Trapped within this never ending dream I cling to all the memories that I have Spinning me closer to where you were, in parallel on the edge The thoughts, like imaginary rubble, comes tumbling passed A fire for you still burning inside Why can't I let go of the tragedies last And silence your unrescued suicidal screams Or is it only the rain falling faster as it taps harder, and harder upon the glass Or is it of your wandering spirit Mockingly knocking? Haunting with its vindications Of "why's" I can never seem to grasp All this amidst lost stares into black windows Where gutters overrunning, burdened by the strains And I swear I see your reflection Among the flashes, tracing out illuminations about your face And for the first time You are noticeably absent of all the worldly pains And your lips releasing out a comfort that for so long I've been seeking As I hear the words echo within my stormy heart "That where you are everything is okay"
A Palindrome, also called Mirrored Poetry, is a poetry type not listed, so I put it under Free Verse. If anyone finds a better categoy for this please let me know. Thomas ______________________________________________________________________ Temptation Temptation And porn replaced love Day after day We are bombarded Sex and beauty Objects over heart Thoughts lustful, confused reality Isolation supplanted communication Clouds out move clarity Facade my life ~Redemption~ Life my facade Clarity move out clouds Communication supplanted isolation Reality confused lustful thoughts Heart over objects Beauty and sex Bombarded are we Day after day Love replaced porn and Temptation
Futility my heart breathes its last breath Embraces its own death Ready to be reborn and made anew Can't live a lie Refuse to "do" and I'll DIE.... Focus now on why I'll live And never touch the sky. I have to forget you I have to reject you But I will never love anyone like I loved you..... I heard you whisper and you never knew it I wiped the tears from your eyes But you couldn't feel it You're lost and you'll never find you And neither will I And I'm so sorry-- but I'm NOT. I'll attempt to reset Try to forget But you know, I never will. Be my dirty little secret My very worst-kept secret Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison My infernal and endless attraction towards complete and utter self-destruction I fell in love with the devil And it will take one heck of an angel To save me from the likes of you.... My addiction my confusion my nightmare my dream never to come true Oh, I'll never forget the times we never shared I'll never forget how you were never there Always me, the stars, and tears And I ask you, what kind of life is THAT? I have to face the facts I don't know what happens now but it happens without you. The stains will always be there the scars will never fade But the memory of you---- it HAS to. I could carry the torch forever But it would only consume me I can't cry another tear for you Or I'll dry up completely It doesn't affect you and you never deserved me You'll go on with your life, too All, all alone Because you'll only ever be in love with you.
My eyes grow heavy, Yet I can't sleep, My soul feels weighted, But I can't weep I dream on Without the hope I need I need to talk Yet my tongue's not freed I clutch my pillow, I cling to the thought Of how we met, And why we fought It all seems so silly now, And I wonder why We could let this stand And let love die Pure "saving face" Holds me back, Especially since Your verbal attack Being a person, No easy thing, You've left your nest And the protection of Your mother's wing Should i call? Or hold out? Be the weak one? Or stand and shout? Oh, Lord, please guide me Let me know The way to be... I roll over in bed again, And turn on the light, But light doesn't help. I have no sight... Indecision means inaction I start to groan, To lose your love, A fear greatly grown Turn off the light, Again to bed In many ways, Wishing I was dead.
I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You
In response To your worried heart Mind, mouth and stomach Your busy thoughts In response to your Shaking hands and ill head Your rightfully placed overreactions You're right in placing them…pacing then In response to your love for me Well I cannot ignore it So I blush and beg for it Secretly…of course You are my everything and I will do anything To hush your fears
The rage I feel now is boiling inside, pressure in my head I have never liked this feeling when I've felt it before, too close to being dead I am tormented between jealousy and guilt, not sure how to deal If I could figure it all out and make it all right, to tell only which is real My head is throbbing hard, my eyes real sore, something's gotta break I lie in my bed and think it all through, not sure how much more I can take No one on the phone, no knock at the door, no answer to my call If it does not change soon, honest to God, I fear I am going to fall With one final thought, I head for the door, a crime I am to commit Rage filling me now, unable to stop, damned, this I will admit
i wish you could have looked deeper into my eyes and knew what was there for you i wish you could have known what my lips were trying to tell you but were afraid to do so i wish i had held you closer. that i had known that one day would be the very last time i would see you i wish you could have known what my heart said each time i saw you how i felt when my hands touched your face i wish i had told you how it made me feel when you kissed my lips over and over and told me how beautiful i was i wish you could have been braver and therefore able to tell me what you were going to do when you were so sad and ... i wish and i wish, and i wish, but all i can see is you, and how handsome you were the last time i saw you; and how i longed to tell you i loved you too... i wish.
Part 1 Onion the delicacy of friendship I found you in the flowers Standing tall we become one Looking down from gangly towers Squash, you burn, you pillage, son. Follow me you say in tongues Thy shallow mind reveal me tell Whisper lies clean load the guns I feel the burn I rot in hell Friend folly menacing the liar I loathe this coffin how it leaks Dear foe you raped me set on fire The onion peal itself and weeps Part 2 Traitor dear monkey boy Older eyes eat themselves, glance and kill the other Unified in the dance, they steer the musty rudder. Pained and sweeter deeper wells, poised buckets drunk with water. Singled out the one that dried, handed weights to pull him under. Wiser times capture the mind, death justifies dishonor. Knife slice neat through the devil's back, who stares blank and milks the udder. Part 3 Tempest patron saint Inside this box Goodbye tempestuous fall My puppet of steel coiled thread Smashed buttons and twisted dread, Alarm these doors, and Escape this delusive bunker bed Stamp the spiders Thief, vulture of the deflection The mocking patron of the sinners Erase this affliction Relating inward at the reflection Rise you fool Part 4 Phoenix i love you close the grip cinched hematic grip drenched, clawing seeking the sheave becoming the counterweight i absorb, now extracting the heat rise like a phoenix away to be gone to be free fix me! i have fixed me i am alive and i love you Part 5 Aye, Damager Abolish her state of disrepair Scattered, spattered drippy thoughts All around this box of soused leaves Soak, ferment in the faith of our love I can't fix this, you know I loathe this misunderstanding Of what I am speaking, projecting To me, Aye Damager, to you This devil in me turned and twisted A wrecked elevator in rejection Years locked painfully aware ...
Lord, I believe in You and myself, With You I can do almost anything. Even if I'm overweight... I believe You'll keep me alive until the day You want me back home with you. I'm sorry for my sins And all of us are imperfect humans: Debating about beliefs, greedy thieves, And everything else you hate. So please forgive all of us and open the gate To Your Heavenly Kingdom. Have Your Son save us all. Sometimes I believe I don't deserve You And Your Promise for Eternity, But Your Son's words reassure me. I feel scared of the destruction in Your Revelation, But remember You'll keep me safe If I just forever keep my faith.
If I died today, Would your heart fade away? If I died today, Would your heart die with me? If I died today, Would you regret Never telling me How you really felt? If I died today, Would you be able to move on? If I died today, Who would go to my funeral? If I died today, Would you regret Never telling me How you really felt? If I died today, Would you see me in everything? If I died today, Would anyone even care? If I died today, Would you regret Never telling me How you really felt? If I died today, Would anyone cry for me? If I died today, How would you grieve for me? If I died today, Would you regret Never telling me How you really felt? If I died today......
generic minds listen to generic music have generic thoughts that are unknowingly abusive watch generic things talk about generic things gee this generic *****is spreading like a disease better get your flu shot thats what they said to me a suicidal vaccine a subliminal killing spree its contagious and the outrageous thing about it is that the people are blind in an eye that they didn't even know they had it's sickening to watch these clueless civilians inside the looking glass with nightmares of being free without a key to their mind for it is trapped in the frequency in the illusion of time bathed in our universe killing all that refuse to see those that admit to hypocracy or see the message in hip hop how cant you see the message in the lyrics that bring adolescents to their knees from bullet wounds conflicting their flesh contradicting that they're the best but the songs keep telling them that they dont need no rest that they dont wanna go home that they should ride alone with the gat as their only companion and so the only path they choose is the one that they're told until they grow old and hope turns to a window pane inside a window pane, until all they feel is pain they realize that the music itself is ashamed so whats to look up to when you cant even speak when you cant even walk because you look so bleak your eyes are sunken from the tv you're infested with the dee zees now its too late to turn around and live for your conscious so when youre screaming oh please close your eyes and bring your mind to life open your eyes for the first time and never wonder why since the answer this entire time has been inside and you better find it before you die you dont want your soul to be in a pool with all the others a buncha brothers missing their mothers but only seeing strangers only feeling the haters wishing they would have used their minds when they had them and now its too late, now it's time for another new born fate to grab them
At Church, We Talked About the Holy Spirit! At church, we talked about the Holy Spirit. And discussed how to be guided by it! We discussed scripture and God's power! And how we need his spirit... This hour! We learned about how the Holy Spirit moved long ago. And how we need it now! To nourish our soul! It seemed like no matter what we decided We knew the spirit's power has been provided! Rather than just all of us talking about it... Isn't it about time, that we really experience it? The disciples of the Bible were empowered from on high! They boldly proclaimed God! And were not shy! It's almost like the church today is somewhat defeated! Because the Holy Spirit's work isn't completed! How can anyone experience the Holy Spirit within? When so many hang on to unrepentant sin??? If you're one, who's hanging on to a denomination... Is God's spirit part of your life's foundation??? Won't you take the time to wait on the spirit's presence! God is powerful! And is loving and omnipresent! Talk is cheap! Submission to God's spirit is the key! To help you in life! And give you the victory! Won't you come now? And enjoy the spirit's fullness? It will bring you joy! And complete wholeness! By Jim Pemberton
They are bound to the Earth like trees Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen Hoping that one day someone will see: They can't escape with lacerated wings The ocean surrounds me, covering everything Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find I can't escape with lacerated wings. Swarms of nets, waves of screams Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams The mask has be seared - The truth now they see The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings There's reasons for your rejections: Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression The scars are too deep to pass the trials But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings
One much given to introspective self absorption, little inclined to action, I record this plaintive piece..... The years go by and, though I age, I am still the lone, unwanted one. Early it was I learned to embrace pain, or to avoid it..... never to invite, through any expectation, added disappointment..... always penning solitary lines, mere mental meanderings..... My drab world, all dry sand and clouded sun, sparsely populated, was a nearly vacant, arid desert. All my laurels for achievements I, and others, immediately devalued. Nothing I did could be worthy of a lauding..... no good could come from an unwanted one, one outside the pale..... not from such a joyless one. The years go by, and still, I am I..... the lone, unwanted one.
Green bark a prism creates, Feel the pull of earth, you must. Rotates, a slime of endless hates, Can hold me not, this world's crust. Friendship's ties, isolation Deflates, Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust. Mist, my soul forever permeates, Lift-off, booms the rocket's thrust. My spirit when light returns, elates, Swamps swell, swallowed hope's swirling dust. Trapped, I am, until student from fate Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
These are my confessions Secrets of my mind Everything that mattered Truth I can not hide Nothing but a shadow Distant memory What I was, What I am What I'm supposed to be Forgive me, God, forgive me For being so unkind Impatient…ungrateful Cynical and blind To those who thought they knew me And those who never did To those who hear my songs In the places where they live I offer my confessions Honest to the core Offer my confessions There won't be anymore No more…
Man's Corruption... God's Redemption! The Bible speaks of man's sin and corruption. That's why God has offered us, his redemption! The heart is desperately wicked above all things. There's an evil corruption that sin brings! The Lord searches our heart and tests our ways. He watches our lives, all of our days! There's nothing good in ourselves. Not now, or ever! Without God's mercy... We're doomed forever! But, through Christ, there's a way and a plan! He made this available to every woman and man! His gift of salvation is a message of love, made clear! The coming of Jesus Christ, draws ever so near! We can trade our sinful corruption, for a new way of living! Won't you come before the Lord, with a heart of giving? Giving our life to Jesus, is the best thing to do! By his power and grace, you can be made BRAND NEW! I'm thankful for his salvation! Mercy has been applied! Because of Christ' death on the cross… I'm now sanctified! By Jim Pemberton
I Know of Someone Holding Unforgiveness! I know of someone holding unforgiveness! This has led to a life of much bitterness! Toward his brother, he's held on to a grudge. From his viewpoint, he won't even "budge." No matter what God's word has clearly spoken… He's walked with a heart that's been broken! His son prayed that God would speak to him! That he would forgive, so God could heal him! Forgiveness is a powerful thing to do! If you want God's mercy to flow through you! We're not called to "hold back," the love God's given! Through Christ shed blood… We're all forgiven! May the love of Christ come and touch us! It's no secret how much God really loves us! Please come Lord Jesus! And touch our soul! May we express your love, wherever we go! May God's gentle love, be what always binds us! HIS words; "love one another," do remind us! By Jim Pemberton
God Gave Me A Talent… I Didn't Use It! God gave me a talent, but I chose to refuse it. I had it… But didn't want to use it! God also gave me the ability to use what was given. But it just "didn't fit in" with my style of livin'! The talent he gave, he wanted for me to share... Although I went to church… I just didn't care! I was like someone who "buried the talent in the ground." When God came looking… I was nowhere to be found. I was embarrassed of what he gave and ashamed. I didn't want to talk about Jesus, or mention his name… I wanted to be careful of who was my friend. If I were to use God's talent, I may easily "offend." We all have talents. God's given them to each one. He's given to us his spirit and Christ Jesus his son! All that we need to accomplish his purpose and goal… He wants to use us! He loves us more than we know! Will you "bury" the talents that God's given to you? Or will you just "turn your back" like others do? He has a divine will for us all. A purpose and plan! He waits for you… With an outstretched hand! Won't you allow him to use you HIS way? Please do it now! Listen to what HE has to say! HIS blessings in your life is for you to receive! Reach out to him now! Trust and believe.! By Jim Pemberton
I'm not the kind of person I need to be! There's too many problems inside of me! I'm not the kind of person you'd want to know… I've too many worries and a troubled soul! I'm the kind of person who has a lot of stress! Lately, my life has been one big mess! I'm the kind of person who doesn't have a friend. You listen to me now… But may never see me again! I'm the kind of person who's gone through pain! I wake up some days, and don't even know my name! I may not be the kind of person you'd want to be around. I may get discouraged, and "get you down." I'm the kind of person who's giving Jesus a chance… I know he loves me! Whatever the circumstance! I'm the kind of person who needs a lot of prayer! I know that God listens! And is always there! Please help me Jesus! That I may be set free! May it be your love that others will see! Thank you Jesus! For being my savior and friend! You're someone that this person can always depend! I'm not the kind of person that Jesus wants me to be! That's why I need more of HIM! And LESS of me! By Jim Pemberton
Confused If there were thing's I couldn't understand,you was one of them. Going back and forth with one another,like the wind and does in the howls of winter.You'd follow me to escape your own reality,only not knowing your shattering mine.You tell me to be me there was a time when I was me and you couldn't stand it like it was looking into the eye's of a demon.How should I respond? Running away only brings more then I can offer. Now I'm drifting and everything left me,I'll suffer the venom of past and the reoccurring pains. From the tell's of literature to the mounts of the great wars have I been able to tell just from their looks what they thought that very moment but as I look into your eye's does it not only confuse me it refuses to tell me the truth,why am I looking into my own eyes? Let me touch your face.Let me look into your eye's.Let me see the truth which is clouded and locked away.Let me see your feelings fall from your eye's. Burned. Chain. Shackled. Scared. Tortured. Entangled with lies.and yet harbors no hate toward anyone then yourself.How much do you loathe yourself? To the point your a sacrificial offering of your own whim's? As I search for the truth,I see the many heartbreaks and the lies been told to help but nothing prevails. Yet you look at me looking for the same thing. We're both confused? We're both in agony? We're the same? This isn't right.This is a lie.I don't wish to see anymore. I won't lose to this,nor bow down and be your toy.Yet when I'm close to you,it never cold. Hold my hand as I fight with myself. Never mind hold me closer until neither of us is cold.Don't lie to me with those pleading eye's,that are like dark's as coal and beautiful as an onyx. Let's be ourselves.Let's shut ourselves away from this world.Let's search for our own truth.But if there only fear in your mouth,then there's lies.I shall grab your heart and I will hold it like it was the last gem on earth.So scream,hate,and be gently. I'm confused.Your confused.I will listen,if you will talk. Have you ever heard these words before? I never have but I will say them to you,you who has the same pleading eye's as me.When we're so much alike yet so different to the point it confusing.
A Very Inviting Temptation! I remember of a particular situation. I was offered a very "inviting" temptation. The situation I was in... I didn't belong! And lost any sense of "right and wrong." At first... I felt no guilt or shame. And brought embarrassment to my family's name. I tried to explain this to my wife and kids. I heard; "Dad... please... no more fibs!" The Godly principles were "tossed to the side," As the sin inside caused arrogance and pride. Soon, all in my life that truly mattered... Was gone! My life was empty and shattered! I was sorry for all of the problems I caused! This time... I took a moment to pause. I cried to God to rescue me from my sin. I confessed! Would God help me once again? I read in the Bible of Jesus' grace and love! This time the help I needed had to come from above! I asked him for a fresh and brand new start. He removed the stain from a broken heart. He restored to me the joy I once had. I'm so blessed! Jesus has made me glad! Jesus is the reason I'm here today! I LOVE HIM more than words can say! By Jim Pemberton
It's time to come clean, to own up and admit to my mistakes, misbehavior, and machinations. I joked about "plotting" and "ousting" people, and the joke went way too far because it was taken literally and seriously, as if I actually possessed the power to exile someone from the site. You know what? That was wrong, and in the process, I hurt a lot of people and I have been responsible and at the center of much of the drama that has plagued the site for the past week or so. My behavior helped to warp our haven, and I have been wrong on so many levels; I admit it. I am taking responsibility for my actions. I've talked smack about people behind their back; a lot of us have; let's just admit it: it DOES go on. I am guilty of it. The feuding must stop for the sake of peace and harmony. We don't have to all hold hands and sing kumbaya, but we can stand united beside one another and put our differences aside. I'm airing out all my dirty laundry here. I am owning my fault and guilt and apologizing to the people I hurt; to make amends is the only thing I know, and one thing that AA has taught me. It would make me happy if we all come clean, admit our mistakes and make amends. I am just as guilty as some others; I'm curious if they, too, will come clean. I've been wrong on so many levels it's not funny, literally. I'm not a bad person, but I have made big mistakes and I am here to apologize, sincerely. No more fighting or bad-mouthing. Let's all concentrate on producing great poetry instead of feuding. All I want is peace and serenity. Again, I take full responsibility for my wrongful actions. I ask for your forgiveness and for your patience. This is a most trying and taxing time in my life. I battle addiction and the symptoms of my mental illnesses, all day, everyday. I have Borderline Disorder; look it up. It's a terrible affliction. I'm not going to blame my errors and poor decisions on my illnesses or my father's kidney cancer. They were just catalysts that brought out the worst emotions in me and I took my fear and anger out on mostly undeserving people (some deserved to be verbally eviscerated, though, and I make no apologies for that). But I do apologize for all my mistakes and bad behavior. Again, let's all just put our differences aside and focus on our artistry. The Soup is about poetry and fellowship, not feuding and fighting. Let's have peace and harmony, for the sake of all. Thanks for listening. ~ Chan
Healing Can Only happen, When the Pain is Gone! Healing can only happen, when the pain and damage are gone! It can only come about, when there's no "lists" of wrongs! People need to move ahead, and put all of the past behind them! And seek God's forgiveness, so his grace can find 'em! Too many carry a load of sorrow and grief that they can't afford! They need to bring everything to Jesus, and make him their LORD! How can we experience healing, if the suffering is still there? How will we ever be able to love others, and truly care? May we all seek the kind of healing, that only Christ can bring! May we allow him to remove all pain and suffering! Jesus… We need your healing now! More than ever before! It is your love that we must learn to treasure and adore! Please come now and refresh us with your awesome love! The sweetness of your Holy Spirit, is a gift from above! Thank you God! The pain is gone and the healing has come! All praise, glory and honor to Jesus! God's anointed son! By Jim Pemberton 10/19/13
Secrets are not, What they ought to be, They often turn out, For many to see, When somewhere deep in the heart, There is a lingering pain, Yearning to express distant memories, Yet need for constraint, With the knowledge of Armageddon, Approaching at hand, Seek delivery from remorse, Before the end, happen, Desires to unwind history, To all where it began, Express, for relief from, An unspoken apology, burden; Expecting to lay in happiness, When the dark shroud came, And resurrect from sins, Judgment and blame, Yet completely unaware, The good world's forgiven, Only fond remembrances retain, In memory, "A jolly good person"… World prays and wishes, For the time that remains, Will to re-live the good memories, Forgetting the Pain.
She worry's so much She worries in case he'll leave her In her crazy kind of mind Old memories they haunt her And now they've made her blind She does not see reality She's living in a dream She's built herself a nightmare It's just the way it seems. She doesn't see him laughing And singing all the time And how he is so loveable And writes her lovely rhymes How he cares so much when she is down She never see those things She sees the horror in her mind That her thoughts so often bring. When will she ever see him? The way he really is He's wrote five thousand poems for her All filled with loves sweet bliss But is it not too late for her When she lives back in the past The damage done by foolish acts It be so very vast 23 July 2013 @ 1250hrs
December 18, 2012 Beautiful lies known as little white lies yet one is no more deceptive than each The truth is what makes it afraid of light It's important we practice what we preach Imagination built on lies destroy Imagination built on truth create Conquering evil we try to avoid Tooth fairy, Halloween, Santa abate Perceptions and images make it real Origins of Pagan rituals true We've wandered down this path for a bum deal Now more lies are created all brand new The mask behind a beautiful white lie is the truth with a constant shield, but why?
As sin and perversion often become integrated… So many lives and families are being "disintegrated." Many are being driven by sin's temptation force… It's no wonder much of this country is way "off course." The morality and values that once made a great nation. Are evaporating…. Leading to a "spiritual separation." Love, honor, and respect of God… Is often a "thing of the past." Anything of God seems to be disappearing FAST! God is our only hope! And him alone! Only he can bring healing to our broken homes! He's the answer to this wounded nation, that bleeds! It's only God that can meet all of our needs! He's our provider… The great: "I am!" Won't you reach out to him? And give him your hand? Why not give him a chance? And allow him in? A brand new life for you… Is waiting to begin! May we allow God's holiness and love to reach down into our hearts… Asking; "Lord please forgive our sins!" Is a good place to start! By Jim Pemberton
People were Many things. Strange or not People were Different and Odd and fun. People were Monsters but… That's not all People were And still are Strange and odd. People are People. For life is life. Yet not. Not is lies. Truth seeps from Every mouth Lies, lies, lies Move, move, move But somehow Lies prevail. Lies are life. Lies are death. Lies are homes. Lies are pain. Lies are truth. Yet somehow. Truth prevails. Truth is life. Truth is death. Truth is home. Truth is pain. Truth is lie. Truth is that. Lies will die. Lies will cease. Nevermore. Truth will live. Truth will be. Forever.
My parents taught me the Christian ways. I was taught to obey what the Bible says. I was proud of my parents! I really was! And loved them so much… Just because! They meant everything to me! I was proud! Until one day... There appeared "a dark cloud." It was like a "darkness" hovered above. Leaving their marriage empty of needed love! Though they were together many years. There were many cracks that soon appeared. I say a once happy home soon destroyed. Being with one another…. They no longer enjoyed! How could this happen! I had wondered… To see a happy marriage "totally plundered As sin crept in... And allowed to prevail. Very soon this marriage simply failed. May this be a warning for me and you… That our commitment remains faithful and true! If your marriage is heading toward separation… Please seek God for a healing and restoration! If your planning to have a divorce.. Jesus' love can put it on the right course! He can replace the brokenness and hurt within.. And can put your lives back together AGAIN! By Jim Pemberton
I lay, dripping, soaked within a dark sweat, seeing and hearing your soft voice abet. I want to run, to leave this merciless realm, but you pull me closer, without a choice at helm. Get out of my dreams. I miss you, but I hate you, every last memory. You taunt my every being, you're all that I see. I see you in the crowds, or when I'm all alone. You're here and there, on your heartless throne. Why couldn't you stay? Get out of my life. I hear your laughter and see your beautiful smile. Once so beautiful, now helping others with guile. You're now decayed, withering into shallow dust. I loved you so much, and never again will I trust. Get out of my head. Tears I weep, when others aren't around to see – I remember the days, the months and years I bleed. I try to forget, and to hate you and your choices. But all I can hear are these damn forgiving voices. Maybe I am what you proclaim me to be. Was I really that monster, that demon you see? I hate what I love and love what I hate. I try to erase our past, and to claim it our fate. But I can't let go, you're all that I hear and see. I wished you could have loved, that loathsome "me". Get out of my heart.
I cannot get into heaven God I have tried! Suicide is a double edge sword Especially when you survive! Walking the streets at night Dazed and confused Longing to be loved Wondering... When is Mum, coming for me? "Does she still love me?" "Does she still care?" "Does she still think of me?" "Does she wonder, where I am?" I want her to come find me I want her to say she 'loves me' I want her to comfort me I want her to take me home And keep me safe And not forget hat I exist Like the way she treats me now I wish God Could make my Mum Magically appear Making this hellish nightmare On the street Disappear! "Send my Mum please!" So, all this can end! Before this last ray of hope Diminishes for good! I don't want to become The walking dead Forever forgotten as if I was never born! For this is the cruel, harsh reality Of living life, feeling unloved Uncared for, abandoned, Left to fend for my own A dangerous killer inside me Eating away, at my soul Something, no one can see As I suffer in silence My insides crippling! Lost, alone and frightened Weeping on a dirty Graffiti park bench Dirty tears Rolling down my cheeks Stuffing newspapers under my jumper To keep myself warm "What am I going to do?" "Will I make it through the night?" "Will I get raped and beaten?" "Will I be left for dead?" "Will I survive To see another day? "Is my life worth living?" Please God, I beg of you Have mercy now Please show me the way!
If I seem down forgive me Frowns I carry around live in me When I break you see right through me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... The hurt I've learned brews in me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... Your words so true renew me If only you'd re-design me Take time rewind refine me Recreate the mold without lies I've told... GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... The hurt I've learned brews in me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD....
Since my birth To your death Never would I miss you. Now I do.
Jesus, I Pray for My Brothers! Years ago, I suggested to my brothers that we pray. They simply laughed at what I had to say! I thought it would be good to get together... That God's love would bind our hearts forever! Division took place and took the "upper hand." I don't think they'd listen or even understand! Over the many years that just went on by... They never once took the time to say; "hi!" Even though they never once seemed to care. I decided to take some time in deep prayer! It was like they would make fun of what I said. At times, maybe they wished I were "dead." At this time, there's a strong and powerful force That's blowing their lives are way off course! I pray that God's spirit will get a hold of them! And let them now how much he loves them! I pray that God's love will be the glue that binds them! May God's mercy and joy be what finds them! I pray that evil will not find it's way in their home! And they would allow Jesus to rule on their "throne." Even though they tried to cast me off, as a "fool." It's God's words, in their lives, that must rule! Jesus can turn around even the worst situation! By the power of his glory and resurrection! Please, dear lord, bind them forever as won! Bless their home! Their daughters and sons! By Jim Pemberton
Cold, callus, crying, shivering, and covered in sweat. Wondering what has happened. Not yet understanding this fate I've met. What of a guy that stumbled around, just trying his hardest to show he'd been found, after all he had just been purchased from the human pound. That promise to you. Man I broke it. I told you Id stop, and for a time I did, but that stuff two blocks away, my will power just wasn't work-n. My wrist watch again broken. Always from the look on my face, you could tell Id been smoke-n. You tried. You tried so hard, but the mind wasn't mine. only a shell of what used to be, all of me you were trying to find, and I didn't get this till my alone time. I was pushing. You were pulling. Then it all pushed you away. It was all down hill from here, so naturally you couldn't stay. I sit here so sad for the way you must of felt. Let alone how you dealt. Ill never understand how I could do this to you. You're so prefect, even your aura dances in ambient light. You're the best friend I could of had, and that leaves me really mad, that the rest of the world may never know what we had. The thing is I know now, that you loving me. This really was Much more, than I loving you. ~Ha,Turned around this insecurity was always mine.~
I remember the day I promised What is a promise? No one had ever kept the ones they made to me They disappointed me and left me in tears I wish I had the decency to say sorry But to whom when I made the promise to myself I promised never to let you into my heart I did not want to be hurt at all I swore to let our friendship flourish and discard all seeds of destruction but sense was overcome by passion Emotions eluded me and I went in not knowing that I was digging my own grave I got consumed by the flames cause I was carried away I looked into your eyes and could not see what there was but what I wanted to see I broke the promise, broke my own heart Betrayed myself, tricked myself, confessed my love and got a cold response My heart's pieces are exploded to granules now Now that the ticking bomb has finally exploded as the message was finally decoded At the end of it all..... I ask what is love?
I Was In A Place Where I Didn't Belong! I was in a place where I knew I didn't belong! God's spirit was there… But the flesh was strong! I felt alluring voices almost "overwhelm me." There were so many temptations that surrounded me! I could feel the pull! The tugging of my heart! I knew this was going to happen! From the start! As I began to feel many voices, pulling my spirit. I wanted to run, but could not seem to do it! In one moment of hopelessness, to Jesus I cried! I couldn't run from this! No matter how hard I tried! Just when I thought that there was not a way out! I remember what some of the Bible was about! I knew that if I cried to Jesus, he'd be there to help me! No matter the temptation! And how it tries to "trip" me! Before I was going to do something, I shouldn't do… I heard God's voice say; "My son, I'm here to help you!" I felt the hand of God, reach down and touch my soul! I knew that God was there, and it was time for me to go! I jumped up and out of there, as fast as I could run! Any "excitement" was gone. I was not having "fun!" Whatever temptation I gave up, was worth avoiding! A life with Jesus and family is what I'm enjoying! Thank you my Lord! For your patience and kindness! You've filled my life with your love and brightness!09/04/13
My Dear World, I owe you an apology; Forgive me for I have distorted thee: lying passionately, I failed to accept you by chimera deceptional I wanted to surmount you believing myself to be exceptional. Forgive me My World my bitterness, narcissism and selfishness; for a fool I was since the truth was consciously unknown to me thus calamitious the discovery would be. Please forgive me all the souls my ambition eradicated, all the feelings my sharp tongue destroyed, all the emotions my cold heart repudiated, for how much all those deeds I enjoyed. I was then infected; the infection seemed incurable as I wanted it to be - or wasn't I aware how diseased I was? My Dear World, I owe you an apology; Forgive me my blindness to the beauty of life; With myself in centre I would not look around for distorted was my perception by a deceitful projection of perfect me in faulty universe. My Dear World, Thank you for instant recovery of my senses, the wisdom you blessed me with, the pain myself was redefined through. Yester year I reached the deepest depth slowly losing my pride - my psyche was nearing death in plight I could hardly abide - I understood a mere human I am. Now I laugh enjoying my life every day forsooth heartily and with ruth. Thank you My Dear World Please, forgive me.
You'll write a beautiful melody, If it's truly from the heart. So first I'll find the remedy, To cure mine of the dark. But holy light and blind eyes, Are keeping me apart, From the answers, to the questions, that are making things so hard. Find me a sin, You think that I wouldn't commit. And use it to begin, To make me laugh again. Find me a loose end, I don't know how to tie. Sometimes I wish for the truth, But all I get are lies. I don't need the good life, I just want a sliver. You say always go for gold but I, I'm fine with a lining that's silver. I can live with a just a hand to hold, But who could love a sinner? Maybe I can hide inside the dark, So turn the lights down dimmer. I said find me a sin, You think that I wouldn't commit. And use it to begin, To make me laugh again. Find me a loose end, I don't know how to tie. Sometimes I wish for the truth, But all I get are lies.
We Have A Sin Condition! We have more technology, but we have a problem! We have many "issues." And don't know how to solve them! Governments answer seems to be "spend, spend, spend." But we have this condition, that God calls; SIN! Just look at the problems that are all around you! It's amazing that they don't "overwhelm you!" There's all sorts of evil all cross our land! But there's something very few understand! We've sent men to the moon and outer space! Yet very few reach out and receive God's grace! The Bible says, "the heart of the man is sinful." Without God, man's heart is never "peaceful!" Jesus love provides for the world that fails us! He offers his love! Simply because he loves us! There's no "condition." His love is freely given! Won't you accept him? And be totally forgiven? Where there's sin. God's grace does much more abound! There's a new life for you! Just waiting to be found! Our sins for his love! What more could one ask? And enjoy a love and peace that will ALWAYS LAST! By Jim Pemberton
I Never Was Trying To Play Games, though it mite of felt that way. I'm not going to sit here and make an excuse out of what was drug abuse. There is no excuse for me . I couldn't let it be. Real is real Regardless of what you try an say away. If I told you, You where the most important. Could you plan to be here another day. Would you stand up and walk away from the love you know you can have and hold. All those old cliches, that standout so bold Lets grow old, or lets die together. Lets make this life forever. This real I feel is real relentless. But I am convinced with every fiber of my being . The love that once was so strong Still exist. In hidden Bliss.
I'm sorry for you, for all I DID mean to. I'm sorry for truth yelling under the letters. I'm sorry for gloom I used to be into. I'm sorry for words that were ment to be better. I'm sure you'll learn how to be optimistic, and all of your sorrow will burst in a firework. I'm sure you'll taste both the carrot and broomstick, and critic with sarcasm will become a fair quirk. I'm sure you'll manage to blow off the ceilings, to do something wierd, worth to be accused of. I hope that you'll learn to sort out the feelings and born the new tenet out of the used stuff. I want you to find something to govern. I wish you object every slightest assurance. I warn you to leave any secret uncovered so it won't appear as nightmare to you once. Be careful with matches, refuel the gaslight, extinguish the candle, let the night to mourn. I'd say, single point to fear the Last fight: to set Life aside until you'll have to moor. 8.04.2013 NikA
I let you die for my name As you reached for my hands Out of waters of drowning What a hypocrite this writer is The Hatred of Solitude Letting an orphan dream Then destroy him with knowledge Of what you have done He opened up to you In new ways But in nostalgic guises The springwinds whisper blithe yore But the winterwinds, much stronger Caress you with the dreams of your funeral sky "It was you… it was your fault… Letting the one who was so open to you Be the laugh… the piece in the game…"
I know of a son who turned his back on the God he once knew! Praying for him, was all that his family could hope to do! The truths taught to him as a child, he now began to reject! Spending an eternity without God… He refused to accept! He told his friends, about his "newfound theology." It sounded like he found some new kind of psychology. Rather than accept the truth of God's word, as he would find. He would twist scripture to fit his own state of mind! He would say; "the God of heaven and hell doesn't exist." "It doesn't matter how you live!" Is what he'd insist! He rejected God's gift and wonderful plan of salvation… And chose to believe "whatever fit his own situation." I began to see his life sputter from a hurtful heart. It just seemed like everything around him "fell apart." God wanted to help, but he didn't believe he needed him! God was there! But he made it clear that he didn't believe him! Many years went by, and this son started growing old. He became a bitter and broken person, I've been told! He did his best to remove God from his family and home. Now, it was just him! And he was all alone! Then one night, he cried out and called on Jesus' name! And confessed of all of his sin, guilt and shame! This son, who had drifted from God for so many years… Was filled with a true love, and a joy that brought tears! He had returned to God! And God changed him! God will always be faithful! And will never leave him! Won't you too, accept the life that God wants to give you? He can change your life! Just because he LOVES YOU! By Jim Pemberton
The older I get the more regret I have not being there for you at that vulnerable time. You made me so happy but I was not there to be with you... at a time when you Hurt. I thought our love would transcend the pain of commuter weekends with you. How wrong can a person be? The nights you spent alone must have been torture. Yet, I was blind... pillowed tears, soft sobs, Yours. If I could change one thing in my life, it would only be at that time. You should have come before me, I should have loved more. I should have been there. Time heals all wounds, But, regrets... remain Still.
I am a hypocrite and look what I just did: I fell into my darkest pit; now, again, and again. I thought that I was strong enough to live the truths I said; Now I realized I'm much too weak; a fool too ashamed to raise his head. God, please save me, please forgive me, and please give me strength. I love You. I thank You. I am forever changed.
"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows. Her life had been a simple happy one. There were no pains and no troubles. Life was life and people were people. Life was simple. and life was all about tomorrows. Life didn't know about sorrows. Her sorrows. Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. They were never there, but where? First to be sad in the naive town of joy. Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there. It was non-exististent. A meager thought and a blessed memory. She tried and tried. She failed and failed. Life was no longer hers. For Pain was her only possession. Her curse. She lived and she died. Yet, her legacy was passed on. Never was it gone. "No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, "Save them."
Mistakes where made and fingers was pointed Falling from the trees Hearts was crushed and time was lost Blowing away with the breeze Words being said that slowed the time In its depth we drowned Our smile crosses its fingers Hiding our emotions frown Long forgotten fables and tales of dreams Spoke till I sleep inside Potions of sounds musical notes Brewing what I hide Chattering leaves confide our secrets Their season pigment our lips Entwined together forever Drinking in sips Clashes of tides fill our cup Running over with forever Fairy tells crashing letting go Of what we believed to be forever
I wish you loved me more. I always feel like your looking for the door. Don't say it isn't true. When you know it is what you do. Emotionally I think you're through. Now it's up to me to catch a clue. My mind Is not a crash test. Dummy! The things I fear you say behind my back make me feel awful. Tell me are your slenderest words profitable. If equated to a fraction, what percentage is marketable. Let alone talk able. In conversation do you receive a sense satisfaction putting me down. A show of strength when your friends are around. I'm the pile. To your pile driver, and you are Pounding me into the ground. Your always there. Relentlessly never backing down. A complement never found. Guess the sex is why you stay around. Pounding & pounding, Out the rhythms of attraction. My body has become my only weapon to defend against a total loss. I continue no matter this emotional cost. That inevitably of my best friendship lost. Your heart covered in a winters frost. You track each trickle back to it's source then scream of the faucet till your face is hoarse. Admittedly; My substance abuse inexcusable, Though isn't my progress viewable. But each time you put me down I'm driven a little further into the ground. My head the only exposed part of me now. Soon cast in concrete never again to be found. Your bridge to the rest of the world nearly complete. Maybe you could visit from time to time. Text me via spray paint. This is how my messages get through. If you listen close you'll hear my reply. I love you still. Now and for all time.
Love floats by, reaching, tantalising, meandering, tip-toeing past pain, leaping through walls, weakening the barricades, of the most private heart. Love settles in, trusting, searching, dissolving, quietly beyond anguish, erasing the desolation, soothing a battered spirit, enveloping the shivering soul. Love stays, it is true, love endures, as do you
Her look that day, Should have told me everything she could not say. Unprepared, I stared. She walked away. As she tossed our ring, I felt the sting. If I'd known then How I feel today, I'd heal the abscess and my heart's decay, Before her affection left me there that day. JS Lambert
My life will never be the same again I tried to hide my feelings Even to the point of denying they existed Why did I chose to cover up the most precious gift one human being can give another NO MORE I will love you now and until the day I die I will never hide the gift you have given me Never again What was I thinking How could I bury such a priceless treasure A treasure needs to be treated with respect and tenderness I cast it aside I was hurt, angry Choosing to believe the lies But, now, I know the truth I found the gift you gave me I dug it up, cleaned it off, polished it Even though it looks like new There are scratches that will always remain as a reminder to never neglect the precious gift I'm sorry that I hurt you and sorry that I nearly destroyed the beautiful gift Never can it be buried again It must be handled gently Held close to my heart, caressed Treasured forever Your love is priceless A gift I almost threw away Thank you for giving me the most precious gift in the world
To the one who hurt us do we hurt back or do we show mercy To the one who lied to us do we lie back or do we lead with honor To the one who cheated us do we cheat back or do we forgive To the one who hates us do we hate back or do we live only with love To the one who stole from us do we steal back or do we give clemency To the one who is jealous of us do we bathe in it or do we uplift them To the one who makes a mistake do we judge them or do we remember our own mistakes To the one who is weak do we walk by or do we help them To the one who cannot love do we pity them or do we show compassion To live in a wonderful world do we remember we must first master ourselves
overwhelming thoughts with screams suffocating time as tears form the river of denial i drift deeper out of my mind grasping for air as i attempt to see what isn't there coveting words that cling onto my ability to care lacking self control i search for something, anything to grab scratching, biting, clawing my doorway to deaths cold slab songs that which i sing in memories of whispers and prayer beating to the seductive release of that which isn't fair i try and try to overcome this realities haunting sin i dig deeper and deeper throwing away my soul within twisting and turning seeping with silence sleeping and spinning weeping in violence learning to regret and never to forgive unable to accept it was me who lived
You and I. You. Your heart blazed, with a warmth of spirit, soothing, alluring, soaked in truth. Your smile burned, branding me permanently, gentle, tender, enveloping my being. Your love was complete, from the depths of your soul, unsaid, yet fierce, bathed in silent knowing. Your dreams were poetic, fluttering in the afternoon breeze, infused with the distilled essence of rhyme. I. I squandered your generosity of spirit. I vainly discarded your priceless poems. Now I stand, alone, empty, desolate, wasting away, rotting inside, day by day.
Dear You, When things get rough I always think of you. The ways you calm me are too many to list and the ways I miss you are too obvious to dismiss. You are always present in my thoughts like you are suppose to be with me even when I don't want you with me. You, you have a way with words and I love the way they ease between my ears erasing my fears and finding an effortless path to my heart. You never stop amazing me. I wonder sometimes what would I do if I lost you. Devastation. Humiliation. Deprivation. Reckless Endangerment. I am finally settling on the thought that I may need you here. The first time we met I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever been allowed to see. I could barely focus as you took me completely by storm, you made my coldest places warm and for that I thank you daily. I remember looking you over trying not to make my stare obvious. Your skin was perfect, like it had been custom blended only for you, your voice tone was almost too low but I challenged myself to not miss a word, and I didn't. The thing I noticed, that I love the most about you was the way you took extreme care with me, like from our first initial touch you somehow instinctively knew to go slow, move slower and announce each entry. I tried not to love you that day, but I walked away haven already made a copy of the key that unlocks my heart…and I gave you the original to make sure it would work. Now I wait for you to use it...and now I question sometimes if I should change the locks. Except when I see you, I only want to remove them for you so you only need to walk in, but I must watch you make that move on your own. Sincerely, Just love Me
Remember all that time we spent on the back deck At your parents house. So very comfortable in that serene kind a way. On that beautiful day Late one may Ill never forget that sense of togetherness I felt. My heart melted. I knew I always wanted to stay, right here with you. A comfort altogether new Just as beautiful at It's inside point of view. They seen us and knew! We where, the best of friends. Partners in a way that complements with such grace. Beatific, such as this spring breeze, We cheer the coming of the warm months. With a bottle of wine or two. Those conversations I hold so dear. Crazy Intellectuals, all together classy. I still benefit from the knowledge past to me. It's been really hard Being torn away from this Knowing it was at the hand of my own demise. I still love them, With my convalescent mind.
Front and Center! Those Gates adorned with pearls in Heaven. White angels soaring. If by chance, Ordered to enter; Through St. Peter's Permission; I demand from you chancellor; A swift insanity plea, submission. For this troubled soul is plagued, By vast displays of wicked ways. None lost. Courtesy of meticulous examination. Love lost. Diligence pending Investigation. Key Evidence, perpetually documented In Sin's ominous catalog. Rebuke my Judge! For multitudes of shortcomings, He failed to ascertain. Moreover, present was He, When Satan drafted me. First round, Pick three. His Fantasy League... "The Eternal Infernos of Pain" JS Lambert
It was overwhelming, it was lovely It was my definition of forever, it was empowering I spread it into the sea Into space, time, and everything in between or beyond I spread it into their souls I spread it throughout the forgotten dimensions Betrayal, a curve ball Unexpectedly knocking me from this universe I floated, away from everything i had seen I was spread, beyond the city I was spread, further from the seas Closer to the bottom The light became dim The light became an illusion The truth had been unfolded beneath Like a trench, eager to sub duct innocence of loyalty For I had traveled so far... The spark, what is now a burden What now burns For once, it lit the way It guided the way that the mind created The illusion we were eager to find Now all that is left And of course, Only the foolish search for the spark
What's Happening to Marriages Today? I was listening to someone just the other day… And I couldn't believe what he had to say! He had left his wife and children for another! She was young enough to be his daughter! Here they were, "in love" and holding hands! Hoping to soon, get their "wedding bands!" They were pretending that this was so "cool." Living now by their own "set of rules!" How sick and disgusting this is getting to be! Is this something that many can't see? God gave us Adam and Eve to become one. To bear fruit through daughters and sons! He gave us marriage as holy vows are made. Not to march in an "adulterous parade!" We are treading on very dangerous ground! Faithfulness and commitment are scarcely found! The very definition of marriage is changing! As the family unit is always rearranging! Our only hope is in Jesus! And him alone! Let's promote his love! Into our hearts and home! Let's allow his love to be our heart's glue! And bring new meaning to the words; "I love you!" May his love bind our hearts and lives together! And remain faithful to each other forever! By Jim Pemberton
It's been so long since I could Feel you, Hold You I'm wondering if it was Just an Illusion For love For me could Not be real Nobody could Love over The Borderline, not even I So if you ask you'll know why I silently began to cry I need you here, to hold me I'm so scared without You I just want to Sleep forever Never stray away far Save me From Desperation Never Say It wasn't meant to be I can't take this lie You Kill me With this So much I hurt so much inside these words burn as I cry This life is destroyed without you The joy that comes is the Joy of the Empty The despair I'm prone to maynever wilt I way You could have been there You could have saved me but no you left I was here to stay In the Dark When the razor called me back You could have been my light throughout the eternal black My Soul Has yearned for but where are you Please come back to me I desire just a one word of comfort just from you, only from you Tell me this is just a Lie Just a Hallucination from my Mind I'm suffering I'm Dying I Need you I'm begging just for one word please save me from Desperation I'm the Petal You're the Wind Without You I can never go Far You're not here I'm now stranded alone In the plagued island of my mind only if you were here only If you here You could have Saved Me From Desperation
I'm done with this I've had enough of this/ Slushy trip since Hell Paso son just quit This empty pursuit Of letting the past keep livin' through you/ Go ahead and equip the damn truth It is that simple to choose What state of the neighbor of the temple you use But you're just so adamant to worship/ Every preliminary negative Which is why you have sentiment for those sedatives Want evidence man your head has been/ Set on making your *****Titanic as You steer into a gigantic crash/ Without any ****ing idea what effect thy absence has/ On the kids and on me too/ My heart feels ripped the honest truth/ To see you empty as your holes in the wall You're like a ghost to us all/ Pale as the Seroquil pills you down/ I want to help but under the meds what you feel gets drowned/ I have the inauspicious fear you'll end up just like Tommy That's why I pray every night/ I can't lose you Robbie You have no idea What it's like To watch you die Every day Every night All the time You can't even see that I am Here with you By your side But as much As I try You deny That I fight For your life then I scream that To me your life's meaningful (good riddance) But I'm 'bout this close to sayin' **** you (you idiot) To me your life's meaningful (good riddance) But I'm 'bout this close to sayin' **** you (you idiot) Why can't you just forget the past Take some time to look at the bigger picture and not be back in a flash We're Kruger (pronounced close to sounding like Kroger)/ the fear you helped restore gives me bags And I'm beyond tired of takin' attacks from your last- Ing grudge for my darker days/ I love you but I wish to part our ways/ There's only so much my heart can take In terms of holes and you immerse me in 'em the Spartan way/ It's not our choice we're physically far away/ And yes half the reason is me that our spark gave way/ But this time it's your fault that our world is shaking You shut me out because the ears of another girl were waiting/ It seems that even for Britney your concern's decaying It's ****ed up/ 'cause you never acknowledged how much I changed/ 'Cause of our rapport me and my fam are pretty much estranged **** these games you love to play/ 'tween now and then nothin's changed Good luck not lovin' me as much as pain You have no idea What it's like To watch you die Every day Every night All the time You can't even see that I am Here with you By your side But as much As I try You deny That I fight For your life then I scream that To me your life's meaningful (good riddance) But I'm 'bout this close to sayin' **** you (you idiot) To me your life's meaningful (good riddance) But I'm 'bout this close to sayin' **** you (you idiot) For a year it's been suicide with clues to find solutions I/ Don't think you're usin' my heartful l advice/ damn dude have I Not been full of time so you could find/ reasons for you to not be blue and live/ But everytime I cope a sit and let you vent/ you walk off and do the opposite/ Talk about exhausted *****try listenin' to all your promises And problems it's/ a shame how it's all turned out I'm so burnt out/ I'll be the last to say this won't work out/ If you take your anger out on me again like I'm a dating spot/ Speakin' of those feelings that you refrain from not (knot)- Icing was it honesty/ or rants of despar (as in spar) ity exasperated by deprav (as in im"prov") ity/ Or is there a real fervor (as in carni"vore") for me If so then why you ignor (same as above) ing me/ For a Vai's you say you are not strong enough to close Go **** yourself with a rubber hose I don't care where the **** it goes/ I was there when no one was and this' the thanks I get Never was I a dick to you so why'd you wank me *****/ My tears have turned into repressed anger/ For you a brother to me now a depressed stranger That I have to put up longer than my dress' hanger You have no idea What it's like To watch you die Every day Every night All the time You can't even see that I am Here with you By your side But as much As I try You deny That I fight For your life then I scream that To me your life's meaningful (good riddance) But I'm 'bout this close to sayin' **** you (you idiot) To me your life's meaningful (good riddance) But I'm 'bout this close to sayin' **** you (you idiot)
I once thought to have the world within my grasp, that all I needed I already had. I once thought to be unable to feel more happier than I was while you were around. Only way to make it better, was to change our worlds of ones and zeroes to contact of the flesh itself. Even though I realized it, I choose to deny it. I was sorely mistaken about you and I, and this and that. You smiled when you lied about your feelings. "I cannot give to you more than this" you said with an evil smirk while observing me from afar. The smirk, was it real or imaginated? I do not know, and I fear I will never know, my mind play tricks on me once and again. Misleading me to believe, like it allowed me to believe in your words. Words... Amazing how powerful it can be, use it well and one can find pleasure, use it well, and one can find the demise of the soul. leaving an empty husk behind, like you left me. An empty husk longing to be filled, once again, with the colors of joy. Coming from the other side of the world, I felt your words and disdain like piercing cold knives straight to my heart, once warm, now cold, since you left. And following your words you went away to never come back. Along with you, went away also the joy and happiness I dared to thought to be eternal, a sweet lie I was telling myself... Even today, after so long, I still think about you and I, your mesmerizing gaze that made me forget and float, your enchanting laughter and the warm and soft touch I told myself that you had. Touch that I will never feel, laughter I will never hear, again, and eyes that I will never meet, again. When you left, I was torn, between love and hatred. Now the hatred is gone and the love morphed to friendship, which I would like to share with you. The Mauritius girl, will my words reach you? I guess they will not, but I like to hope, to dream. Hopes and dreams, the accessories of the weak... A weak being, that I am, a being to be filled with fake bliss, five by day. Three by the sunrise and two when the diamonds imbue the skies. As like that, the curtains shall rise and fall before my eyes, at each passing empty day. And so I live on, even if that means to not have you anyway I can... The only way I can... For now, I just wonder, if will I ever find it again while I live? The joy and wonder, I mean. I ask this chair, I ask the other me on the looking glass and I ask my shadow. I guess these are the only companionships I will ever have until I meet my final doom. My shadow, my other broken me and this chair and my memories, of you and I...
Man's Afflictions and God's Salvation! I've seen and heard of many afflictions! Things happen in life, that need our attention! There are things that happen that bring despair. Wondering if anyone listens or even cares! There's a God in heaven who sees what's wrong! There are many things that don't belong! Evil moves with a power and destructive force! It comes in many forms, from an ungodly source! God knows what is happening and offers a plan! His gift of salvation is freely offered to man! His ways of living are at odds with this earth! Anyone can come to Christ, and receive a "new birth!" If life's heartaches and worries are pulling you down… There's a new life for YOU! Waiting to be found! Your afflictions, for God's healing, is for you to receive! Won't you reach out to him now? And simply believe? His gifts of mercy and hope, is what HE can give! He can totally transform you! And the way you live! His salvation, for life's heartaches, is freely yours! A new life with Jesus can be true and secure! By Jim Pemberton
if poop could be named anything what would you name it? id name it bob and id make him sit on a log in a bog and say get out of here you hog that looks like fog from a bog thats near a log with bob sitting on it who attacked the wacking wackers with all his heart and shattered, he fell to the floor. dont name your poop bob because then youll have tears in your heart.
UNSUPPORTED CODE We often hear this topic across our nation. Another person crying; "discrimination." In our many attempts to not discriminate. It seems like it's God that we seek to eliminate. It seems like we've come up with our own "rules." And somehow have turned into a bunch of "fools." We accept many perversions of various kinds… But God himself? We seem to close our minds! In many of our lives, we've "kicked " him out. And refuse what he really is about! The words, "In God we trust..." Our money bears it! Anything of God? We're afraid to share it! It seems like the courts almost say he doesn't exist! And have brought much confusion into our midst! As many say it's "offensive" to display a cross… Many godly values have already been lost! It's time to wake up America! And begin to see! The kind of country we're beginning to be! A country that's foundation is getting off course. Being driven by a wicked and ungodly force! Out only hope is in God! And him alone! We must invite him back into our homes! To God and his word we must hold secure and fast! He is our only hope that our country will last! By Jim Pemberton
Please Touch Me, Lord Jesus! Please touch me, Lord Jesus! I need you! I come now, because I want to be with you! Bless me with your presence! I patiently wait! I need your now! Before it's too late! Touch my life with your Holy Ghost' fire! Move me with a godly passion and holy desires! Come now! And bring a revival within! Show me your ways! And cleanse me from sin! Thank you my Lord! For doing what you do! I am so honored and blessed to know YOU! By Jim Pemberton
W. Wondering why your here still here very near O. Obviously knowing that you still very much care N. Now is not forever so I'll hold you right here D. Diamonds meant forever then we took a dare E. Eternity is ever lasting and neither of us could be there R. Ready to silence the never ending battle that we both now share I. Interested in falling in love N. Nestled in misery of our past love and holding it dear G. Guessing at a game that the rules arn't all that clear
Are You Under A Cloud Of Suspicion? Do you feel you're under a "cloud of suspicion?" Despite all of your efforts and "best intentions?" Have others found you "guilty" by a word spoken? And this has left you hurt and your heart "broken?" Perhaps you've tried the best way you could. But you often feel misunderstood. You may feel "cast off." Alone and afraid… There's been many times you've cried and prayed! If you feel like your life has been "upside down." I know of someone who can turn your life around! His name is Jesus! He's done the same for me! The chains are gone. I've been set free! Any kind of "suspicions" will vanish and disappear! God's word can make HIS love so very clear! God's love and hope for you is powerful and evident! Won't you allow HIM to be your heart's "resident?" With Jesus… Through life's storms, you shall prevail! He is your best friend and will never fail! Jesus is the "antidote" in a hopeless situation! You can accept his gift of life and restoration! By Jim Pemberton
Pennies are made of worthless copper that even a hungry beggar refuses to pick up; either I threw them away or kept them in a piggy jar, but the day came when need and desperation made me rethink of their worth...a thousands of them could had gotten me far; A rich person collects not as a poor one who is always on the brink... has someone looked for them when rough times kept them from that bazaar? Pennies are made of worthless copper that nobody wants to own, unless they are, at least, fifty years old...what would President Lincoln, think of our antipathy for his imprinted image on these little coins? Do you possess many of these? Save them for those rainy days! Pennies are made of worthless copper, everybody seems repined, humiliated and embarrassed to carry them in their purse, or pocket... look around: they are found everywhere on a sidewalk, or in a parking lot; make all aware they are convenient to have for easiness of mind!
The Sieve of Time Cast ashore, along the banks of time, whirling through the passing years, clinging to my futile scribbles set in rhyme, Cast ashore, thrust into an unrehearsed pantomime, clenching slivers of joy as weariness descends, lulled into a peaceful slumber exhilaratingly sublime. Cast ashore, hazily adrift, a dandelion seed on the wings of time, trapped in the sieve of spiralling memories, caught between pristine bliss, and reeking slime. Cast ashore, flung aside for no discernible crime, my human heart thuds with elusive hope, though battered, bruised, and covered in grime, I stagger ashore, alone, embracing each moment of detached, oblivious time.
Those Distant African Nights... 1. The shadows swayed in your candlelit room, a cool breeze teasing your bare back, streaks of lightning forked in the Johannesburg night, as my hands stroked your hair, kissing your soft mouth, holding you, ever so tight. 2. You whispered that you loved me, and I kept silent, the rain fell, shadows danced, thunder rolled, the breeze teased your naked back, you whispered that you loved me, as my lips found yours, the rain washed over our tender nights, lightning and candlelight, etching poems on your burnished skin, yet, a fear gnawed at me, deep within. 3. We parted ways, and you could never forgive me, you said, now, after numberless thunderstorms, the rain that falls, echo the countless tears that I have shed. 4. You are long gone, far away, happy, I pray, yet the memories persist, those precious moments shall never, ever, like the Jo'burg rains, trickle away, and I wish you well, for loving me as you did, for it was I who was not worthy, then, and it is I who is not worthy, now... 5. You were always true, it was I who always, always, refused to, to give myself, completely to you.
If you believe I was born to fall in love with other men Then, you're not familiar with this life No one is ever born into this filthy sin If it's so, there's was no need for the one called "Jesus Christ" Make no bones about it, we deny Him, when we chose to chose this choice As it is, to hide our guilty conscience and pretend to make peace with it We begin by convincing ourselves that the wrong is merely right And you joined in…with the conspiracy, thinking you were being such a good friend but, instead you helped in making iniquity normal in the end I begged! I pleaded for months with my accomplices! "Please, please repent"! I wanted to embrace what's light and out all these lies! The propagandas of homosexuality! But, then ones who yelled out acceptance loudest were the ones who then, threatened … To shorten my life's and its own expectancies "No, the truth can't get out" they said. Oh! The evil of this society But, now we have to emulate the lie by teaching it to our very little kids Why must we take away their innocence? Why must also start putting confusion into teens? Guess what? If you're not born with it, you can now choose a gender in an elementary classroom quiz God, I am only twenty four years old… Why couldn't I understand what I was doing before it grew too late? I know you love me but, before I loved you, I so much more loved the world In my end, I am glad to have found a true friend and I'm sure he'll miss me as he relates my confession, of a young man who died from aids. This piece is a confession related to me, from a young man named "John" whom I spoke with for several months on Sundays after church. "The whole lifestyle is akin to a brainwashing by peers and one's self" said John. ©copyright 1996
you are so in love in love with me i wonder do you know i'm not the same no not look at what you done you done did to me made me too happy i'm so happy i cain't do the same i feel bad make everyone mad but i can't I won't cuz I don't have to do I?
how do i begin to say, all that needs to be said where do i even start to explain from where all this led. i read and write and read some more wishing things were different from my very core. i am not who i was, nor who i want to be forever changed is the true essence of me. lying down beside me, or a million miles away when faced with this dilemma, i begged for her to stay. truth confronts the omission and demands a fight seeing everything crumble with a bright and painful light living in my life today i see where i went wrong trying to forgive myself with a vengeance that is strong
I tried to follow some Truth and Moral Now I sit here like I had no option I thought I had to love every pal Life has been tough, I thought my friends were gone How could spirit stand by my side – you know? Nothing, I mean nothing meant my pathway What I gave I got back like I sow Every bit and flesh of me should turn hay Love, hate, feelings, everything seemed so dead This my place was like after a havoc I had no hope to find a soul to wed Madness is my latest hope and stock What then is Truth, what is it all about? I´ve had enough of searching: this I shout!
Comforting words Smooth, quiet tones Reassurance complete confidence Long nights spent reasoning In total understanding Twin thoughts twin minds twin miseries and twin fates Now it's so quiet Too quiet Complete and utter silence.... Oh my God, What happened to the good old days When we both made sense?! Lost in blurry dreams of childhood Colorful, wonderful, windy days Subconscious cradled memories of the times when we were eachother's only friends Only you, the sky the earth and me... No betrayal No lies No fire No hate No regrets. I think I can understand why you won't face me But your sudden silence is so confusing Did you ever know me well enough to know my affection for ultimate honesty? If you wanted me to go away why didn't you just say something? Only this emptiness is left Inconsolable grief... For what never again can be No warning No parting words No ceremony You went and had the funeral for our friendship but did not invite me From the start I thought these ways would always be But in the end, All I wanted, my friend was to say goodbye. I can't trust anyone anymore anyway All alone again shame on me
Do you judge? I feel your penetrating eyes disguised behind your smile So you approve... do you...work your voodoo. Let me believe that no other thought entered your mind! What's that? A quiver? Shiver...my conscience take flight... dimensia sets in I sink into my court judge me please... so that my jury would be silenced.
Hope, tonight, is just a void Love is destroyed Reality impending my doom Suffering a dream that was never made for me I'm just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Don't worry I'll be fine I can just wait, wait as in all eternity You deserve to be happy and free I'm just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I'm just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me You travel all across in my veins Showing you share my pain But my life was never meant for me I'm just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me I'm sorry for those days I've ruined your life Best you just ignore, forevermore I'm just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I'm just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I'm just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me **Morten Veland, Guitarist, Male Vocalist and Main Songwriter of Sirenia, formerly of Tristania**
My Clone Got No Soul My clone, it seems, came out with no soul, I guess it got lost, in the petri dish bowl. In the mirror, a face like me would come through, But that's where it ended, He was more like Deep Blue. He never did find that "happy" place, He never belonged, to the whole human race. I wanted to console my clone with no soul, But which part was actually there to console? His head, his heart, his hand or his foot, That's a soulless sole, with no spiritual root. He tried yoga, and diet, and Zen meditation, But the chakras weren't there for his elevation, And soon he came down with "no motivation." I gave him the novel, that old Frankenstein, He was all Shelly and shell shocked, And out of his mind. He took to drink, his gourd to console, He even packed up, a nice little bowl. I guess any change of mind will do, When you're trapped in your ego, All cornered and blue. So I bought him a TV, With a satellite dish, But it didn't satisfy, not one single wish. "Too many reruns," he said with a stare, "Heather's cheating on Alex, but what do I care." I've got more problems that are troubling me, All existential and twisted, to the nth degree, My guanine, and cytosine, none of them blessed, My adenine, thymine, just like the rest, All of them sequenced, in neat little clips, Here comes the four horsemen, Of my apocalypse. I felt sorry for him, so sorry you see, It was not his decision, to be all you can be, Or not to be, that is a question, posed with Shakespearan glee, He couldn't read the fine print, you see With no eye's you see. Oh say can you see? My clone passed a man with a pamphlet to read, Jesus saves my dear boy, that's all that you need, this contract you sign, will grant you God speed. "I'm soulless and homeless," said my clone with a smirk, I haven't had time, to be a real jerk, I've been in a fog, an unfortunate haze, I've been only alive for a couple of days." .My clone moved around on the physical earth, With no hope of redemption, release, or rebirth, "If love won't release me, it's hate I will breed," I'm a terrible spawn, from a terrible seed. In a losing game, I have to concede." (Now I never thought a twitch, to put him on a shelf, But when we sat together, he was beside himself.) My clone on his birthday sighed a terrible sigh, That he wanted to, "just lay me down and die," His desire for this, was so total and blind, His own DNA began to unwind, I called up the Church, the Lab, and the State, That my clone was dying at a terrible rate. "Your call is extremely important to us", As long as you don't raise, or kick up a fuss. He died on a cold night on old Halloween, Alone and frightened at the terrible scene. And there, I laid my clone to rest, But alas, he had no soul to bless. I took a walk, to kick my heart rate, And was grateful, that I had a different fate. And if your neighbor greets you, with a blank full of stare, I hope he's just tired, and someone's in there. But don't call the Church the Lab or the State, They usually arrive just a little too late.
Father, Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be. I am the product of myself and my negativity. I trust You. I love You. I thank You. In Your name, We pray, Amen.
There is a glare of stray sunlight daring to reverberate through spiderwebbed glass I haven't found energy to fix in the span of four years. It is too much of a mirror, too tangible a thought, to make new. It's lithe fingers, thin and bony, and mockingly bright, steal over embossed cardstock that arrives, like clockwork, in deepest sympathy. And a thornless bouquet of pastels laden with Babies Breath only draws on blood long lost; nobody seems to comprehend such an allegory, or lack there of, so it can't be carried over the steps. "Bloodless On Mother's Day" Jenna-Nichole Conrad Wordsmith
It seems the path Iam on is changing everyday the road uncertain just an endless shapeless gray some would say it would all be clearer if I took up there religion even with the doubt Iam not scared enough for that decision I see the faith you placed in one of the many saviors I lame excuse for the centuries of mad behavior Iam sure your prophets where the very best of man but your church and bibles where never in the plan so every race has a version of there own stories stolen from the gods of the past spoken out like it was always known not one of these faiths is open and understanding they keep others down and your soul churches are demanding then you history holds no science no enlightenment dogmatic foolishness written before free government and every soul that is afraid to die or to ashamed to live if you stop thinking then heaven is what they give even now the human mind is found wanting but reality is intelligence is hard work and life is daunting if only the concept of good will and love we understood without some sign from above if you need the ancient fiction to ease your pain I respect you and to all other men you should do the same your saviors were righteous there's know doubt in there time they worship but no church was there twist whets its about there have been many Christ's since the beginning of man the Mayans and Muslim have had tales since they ruled by the roman dry king ghandi and many more sacrifice there life so others could be free in my mind that's what Jesus is what he is supposed to be even know there some man of great worth he has no money no powerful church he's giving of himself and and loving the lost I dare you to search and see the truth were in this together and this is paradise we are the only keepers of our fate we must realize I can no longer people pay to pray and talk down to others who dont believe what you say but Christ himself did not hang with the saved he knew the hopeless so he could see them ok but times have changed were not ruled by religious empires mad with slavery we fought for those rights not with one mans good with collective human bravery a new age is upon us and the true test is coming not one of prophecy the makers of worlds the stars the cycle of suns chaos of the galaxy I hope soon we see are only time is now there is no second chance are race needs to come together and make a united stance if faith keeps us apart do we even have the heart
Big panic It's just one of those days today All the power here is gone Oh what a catastrophy The list goes on and on Of all the things that we can't do There's no more drinking tea And sitting down to my computer What a ruddy curse this be. We never seem to realize How lost we seem to be Without that electricity Can't even watch TV No radios or computer games No vacuuming the floors Can't even use the ruddy treadmill And still there's so much more. What spoilt creatures then, are we Until it lets us down Then we walk around the house Wearing a great big frown But me I'm thinking 'can't be helped That's just the way things are Nd so I light me up a smoke And play my old guitar. 24 July 2013 @ 1020hrs.
Autumn comes I stand watching the leaves..thinking The breath leaves my body unseen But as the mercury drops and as I ponder my place. I notice all I think all I feel. Right there on the window before me. To others it's just a mist caused by cooling or heating or both. A chilhood whimsical game"oh boy look it's cold" To me that mist is all, your name , your face, Our time. I want to wipe it away this physical aberation of all unseen in my heart. I see it all the pain the love the heartache everything in a small whitish cloud on a simple window. My hand reaches pauses oh so this is what you look like. Oh if it was so easy to be done. The mist fades rapidly with every lonely wasted breath. Making an apperance oh so briefly. What ever course I take to wipe away or to gently touch the mist. Would this breath on the window which taunts me so relay back to my damaged soul see its gone you'll be ok now or see how it welcomes your touch? welcome to the world for all to see. Hidden by the sun most of the time. My fingers glide through the vanishing mist, I flash back to your cheek beneath my fingers. Goodbye my love, goodbye my pain, goodbye to the only proof I have left of you. But at peace I am. I know now what I did not before. Your not invisable your their in my breath. Kissing the crisp Autumn air with me. And all I have to do is breath. And my visible breath will show me all I feel is real as real as the mist on the window
I lie here looking at the ceiling, Then I look to your word, It didn't have much meaning, Trusting you is almost absurd You left me broken promises I know I'm better off No more kisses I need to write you off I'm a creature of habit I know I'm not that tough I have no heart to be compassionate You stole it, left it in the rough I'm Forgetting how your voice sounds It truly makes me sad yet still want you around I still know what we had Why'd did you ever leave? Why couldn't we have been enough for you? Now you wallow in sorrow and tell me how you grieve love isn't for the weak I give the devil his due Now you suffer twisting, contorted pain the worst mistake of your life takes me back to lovers lane You really messed up and I'm to alleviate you of your strife? You think you deserve it? …. ….. …... ….... …..I do.
That which would make me a cog in the machine , dragoon me into a lethal automaton be left in the walls of sleep. As the sun bleats in fear of crowds & the sparrows call w-/in a ring of fire. Let the world spin on thru space's quagmire sinking ships in the velvet ink on the writer's hand. Or let the chase end w-/ hands holding crystal ducks & chunks of lung, held by the prism of your stare. To dance swirling down the drain as another matter for the brain to tick as a clock tocks out seven days to review & recall all infected packets of nurofen. Prescribing Anti-psychotics for a mild case of the flu while the fever dreams strike drowning in clay & blank doll faces. As my daughter will drink only the finest wine & my son will make all the other children cry w-/ the malice of his fingers. In the first flash of a passionate love affair , feather light, beating as two hearts revolve round the moon lit stage.
I always think of myself first. I am more important than anyone. My needs are second to none. If I am not the center of attention, I will burst. Envision me in a Hearse. My selfishness is still not done. I always think of myself first. I am more important than anyone. I must certainly be cursed. Selfishness to me seems fun. I see no need to run. I know I am not the worst. I always think of myself first. I am more important than anyone.
I forget that I'm in trapped in a house of cards until the wind comes blasting through And I'm left again with nothing Nothing but grief and this pile of all that I knew I had to forget how much I cared for you Something no one should ever have to do Can you remember? Do you remember? Those darkly happy days when you felt that way too? Love so many bitter times unrequited Two hearts broken----too broken to break anymore You've become my dark horse in this race against time And I hope to God we're not about to lose Futile Infantile And all around absurd Is what this nightmare without you has been We shouldn't have to work so hard To fall flat down on our faces again and again I wish you'd come out of your shell and back to life in the warmth of my arms once again
My Crucifixion One of a few regrets, I face my mortality Time spent in dissension, self imposed exile I face my God, drop in prayer asking for reprieve My penance; life, my sentence; life In what else can I believe Judge, jury, and executioner Pontius Pilate at my crucifixion I see things that most do not want to see Blood on my hands My own blood from my own crucifixion Feeling things that most do not want to feel I'm facing demons, living nightmares As I am forced to look inside at the real me Who I was, who I am, different yet the same Fighting through the battles, torn and scarred The only way to get over the shame We all make mistakes, admitting it or not I too was only created in an image Falling short, falling hard, bottomless abyss Truly sorry for the paths that I may have strayed For the monsters I've created Still I have become my judge, my jury, and my own executioner Pontius Pilate at my crucifixion Seeing things that I don't want to see Judge, jury, and executioner Pontius Pilate at my crucifixion Feeling things that I don't want to feel Blood on my hands My own blood from my own crucifixion Believing things that I don't want to believe, And all in the name of repentance... Bless me father for I have sinned, With my first breath of life I became tied to you With a never-ending need for forgiveness Always sorry for the very way of the world As if through death I could enact a change...
Living Today By BJ Welsh Waiting for the answer to come Makes one's life even more hum drum Sitting and staring without any news Is an impossible feat if that's what you choose How much longer can one be idle? Losing one's outlook as well their title It's easy to say just keep busy The thought of moving makes one dizzy It's time to get over it, the pain of error A life one used to treasure But did you really believe that theory Or did you grow tired and a bit weary? Yourself or others, for whom did you live? Did you really have all to give? Suddenly, you put an end to it all Now you have to accept the fall Moving on is not so easy The thought would make anyone queasy Looking for acceptance in a loving place? First try your young child's face
Forgive my rudeness When I get in your way. I do not mean to glow so brightly When you put your darkness on display. I swear it is not out of spite That I outshine your ego's fire When it is burning to intimidate - To scortch my self esteem to ash. Excuse my posture When it will not sway your way The roots are to blame For this downright defiance That I stand with uprightness Though youre wacking away With sharpened blades of anger. Do pardon the heights That my spirit soars But consider yourself warned today: They do not stop for any man So spare yourself and Get out of my way!
Do You Blame Or Trust God? Do you blame God for the trials you may face? Do you reject God's mercy and grace? Perhaps you are in a most "difficult situation." You can't figure out a "reasonable explanation?" You may feel abandoned, alone and afraid. There may have been times when you prayed. You don't know why this happening to you? You probably try your best in all that you do! But, it still things really haven't worked out. And you often wonder what life is all about? Rather than blaming God… Why not trust him? He's not your enemy! He wants you to know him! He's not the blame for the sorrows of mankind! He's always faithful, most loving and kind! He patiently waits for anyone to call on his name! With him in control… Things won't be the same! He is here! Even if everyone else fails you! If you give him a chance! He wants to help you! Won't you take the time, and invite him in? This is where a new opportunity can begin! His life for yours, is what he gives in exchange! He can help your situation to really change! He can change your life! And turn it around! And can put your life on a solid ground! By Jim Pemberton
The Wickedness That Abounds! Throughout this world, wickedness abounds! Just about everywhere, it can be found! God's word says sin leaves a very dark stain. We have no one else, but ourselves, to blame! The heart of man is desperately wicked inside! It causes many to be filled with much pride! We often hear of tragedy shown on the t.v. You may think, "this will never happen to me!" A mind without God, gives the devil "fertile soil." It's like water in a teapot that's ready to BOIL! Without God's word, as our guide and rule… We're empty inside, and are easily fooled! The goodness of God can calm the troubled heart! On your knees in prayer, is a good place to start! The grace of Jesus is powerful! And can instantly change! With Jesus, your life can be restored, and " re-arranged!" All of the government spending cannot match HIS power! With Christ… You can overcome anything! This very hour! Please Jesus, come and remove our burdens amongst us! We need you here today! And to always be with us! YOU ARE what we need all across this great nation! By the power of your blood and wondrous salvation! By Jim Pemberton 05/09/13
God Forgives Us Of Our Wrongs! God forgives us of our wrongs! And he wants us all, to try and get along! He gave us his word and instructions… But, too often, we don't seem to "function!" Something done, or something said… And it's like some people, wish you were "dead." Even in Christ' body, there's dysfunction from the start. Ending up in another wounded and bleeding heart! What if Christ treated us, like how we treat each other? What if he turned his back, like we do our brother? No matter the good... A list of wrongs is often kept. What's been done… Someone can't seem to forget??? Do you find yourself, a person who's easily offended? By someone you don't like, or one you've befriended? May I suggest a "heavy dose" of 1 Cor. Thirteen? The love of God can take care of ANYTHING! If it didn't, then Christ' death is meaningless and lost. He bore all of our sins that day on the cross! If we can't forgive your brother over something he's done… We need to ask forgiveness of Christ… God's son! There's no excuses, in God's kingdom that's eternal! Will your name be written in heaven's journal??? By Jim Pemberton
"Someday" Why is "someday" such a sad word? When one like "never" is so much worse? Why....why "someday"? "Someday!" Why is "someday" such a sad, sad word? Perhaps the saddest one I've ever heard... Why "someday"? Everybody has somebody Except me, it seems but that's not why I want to leave So out of it feel "out of it" Never was in can't find the way "Life's one big bluff Keep a straight face Don't let 'em see your cards." Yeah, life's one big God-forsaken bluff and I'm about to jump off Someday, I thought you'd find me Someday, I thought you'd love me But someday .... ...someday...... someday NEVER CAME "Someday," they say, "You'll find somebody." "Someday, you will be happy." "Someday, life will mean something." But someday I'll be SICK of waiting Someday, you'll see why it can't be Someday we'll ALL be sorry One day sweet day I'll find my way out of this body. http://vimeo.com/26557410
Can't do right, I try so hard with might, The smallest things I mess up or fail. Why can't I seem to overcome, learn, succeed and do ? Is there weakness, a fault , not enabling me through ? I'm expected to be good and just. Others so this desire, Help Friar !
Stormy stormy night Tormented by a lover's quarrel fight Oblivious allegations Ruined bedroom sensations Myths of tall tales told Yeilding lies that now become too dam old My Theme Stormy Gl All
Countless tales told across the sobriety wall names and dates,memories and remembrances marked in the here and now upon the white brick wall. Most sobering to look upon more so when comprehension is awakened by the meaning within the words. To understand the everyday evils those upon the wall have faced when dealing with drink. Death to some a most blessed relief to others,the torments lived everyday can mean that rock bottom comes more and more frequently ...with each passing day. To block out ones most painful memories ...the hoped for end. To dull the pain felt,whether ...real or imaginary. To appease the demons harbored within so to quiet their restless destructive nature. This and so much more is sought after by those whose lives have been in constant battle with the bottle. Words of encouragement/sadness to remember ...pain, joy, regret! all expressed upon the wall. The spaces fill rapidly at times, slowly other times colors upon the wall help to tell the stories some colors most vibrant, some most somber dull and lifeless like the lives expressed by the ...very ones who painted them. One thought, the line most poignant ...and noticed above all others! "Never give up hope". Are words to remember and to live by.l
I'm… so tired of my heart breaking I'm … so tired of my hands shaking I'm so tired of my mind racing I'm through pacifying my disconnection Do I only love you for who you used to be? When you said you'd wait for all eternity? Did you drink away every memory of me? How am I not everything you'll ever need?! I've had to sit down and write this to tell you the words i can't speak When I'm around you now i feel weak I'm drowning in my disconnection Where did he go?? You are not the soul I used to know Where did your memories go?! Why has the meaning disappeared… So suddenly Now I realize I should too You act like you remember nothing I can tell that's what I mean to you After all I've done for you All I want is to be emotionless too In the end I guess it's what I love the most about you….. Your disconnection. [©2012 SLS, this soon to be a new song for It Is Rife With Ambiguity] www.sorrylittlesharky.com
Are you making an excuse for a "hidden" sin... which is causing trouble in your heart within? We have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory... Christ' work on the cross is a wondrous story! The freedom of Jesus will overflow your soul... When the "secret sin" you have, you choose to let go! Don't allow the mark of this sin to cause a stain... A foothold in your life is what it will claim! Allow Jesus to cleanse you of all unrighteousness... Begin a new walk in HIS beauty and holiness. Not being hindered by this ""secret" sin"... Will help you to know the JOY of being born again! By Jim Pemberton
Sitting alone in a hotel room Looking out over flat roofed buildings At twinkling lights across the Island. How many lights? How many people? Sitting alone in their rooms? Looking out. Alone. Searching. Despairing of finding ourselves. Fearful of discovery That I am Me. Who is dying? Slowly but slowly we all surely will. Choice is everything.
She lives inside of me, In the secret catacombs Of my soul. She's there, in every Step I take Calling me back home, Where its warm Where its safe.. She doesn't know Where I am. The birth of my dreams, In her eyes and mine. She smiles Her perfect smile To cataracted eyes Now unappreciative.. Two parts of one lost forevermore I can't contain This red super giant My pain, pulsing A painful reminder Of how fated love Became an abyss.. How did I refuse Her celestial grace? Her beauty, A reason to believe In His grand design. How did I turn My back On sunlight.. I've never cared to look for another. My heart, I know, Was truly lost The day she left. Slowly the eclipse Crept towards my My soul bereft.. I hope that she Is always happy No matter where She may be. I'm happy that for A moment The sun danced Around me..
A dance of death, a greedy chore Trapped inside these creature comforts; A chance of life may become a bore Outside this pleasantly right hurt. But, soft and fair, though, of the skin, In flesh a silent malice lies Dormant, unnoticed, not used in Context. Still, touch me as day dies. And you, a ghost I cannot touch By reaching out to Heart or mind, Caught up in this sweetly rush- Jaded: Nothing else left to find. Superfluous and flushed, we breath In gusts, unable to be free.
Can God Find You Faithful? I once knew a man had made up his mind. He left his wife and children behind! He met someone who "captured his heart." This was a deception from the very start! His wife gave God and their kids her love and attention... But her husband went Into another direction! They went to church... And did their "Sunday best." How could this turn into such a mess? Temptation can happen to anyone!. Whether rich or poor. Be careful what you allow to enter your heart's door. Regardless of whether you've been married for a lot of years..." One shameful act can bring heartache and tears! The love that's been given... Let no one take away! No matter what others think... Or what they might say. Stay true to God! You'll be glad you did! His love and joy will bless you each day you live! Jesus will never forsake you! Or leave you alone! Allow HIM to bring peace and restore your home! By Jim Pemberton
What will be Will be! I know of this, first hand Your life was taken away So abruptly! I will Never forget That day! Till the day My body dies And I am with you, again! "How was I to prepare myself?" With That kind of Life changing, event! You Didn't warn me You Were permanently leaving! I hope You know How much "I love you" Know You will never be forgotten! I don't know What Has got into me! Consciously I feel you Inside me I see images Of your face So clearly! Am I crazy To believe in this, my love? "Are you still with me?" "Is my imagination Playing cruel tricks Running rampant As I talk with you As if You were by my side, right now In my heart and mind Your face etched Imprinted Like a blue print That never fades Your foot prints Still remain, beside me My heart beats Eternally Trying to make sense of everything! Forgive me, my love For being so strong in my feeling For it has been a long time Since I lost you, my friend Something I haven't Quite Got over! My heart Having A mind of its own Aching To be with you, still! To see you To smell you To touch you To taste you One Last time! I want to say "Goodbye" Once and for all! As We have Brought out The best and worst In each other Rivers run deep When it comes to you and me! We have had our fair share of fights and arguments Stubborn disagreements All of them Meaningless Now You cease to exist! I miss your lingering touches Your hand, stroking my face Your big, blue eyes Looking into mine Your warm lips Your rough, unshaven face The way you Passionately Kiss me While We make love, till dawn I miss All those nights You kept me Safe and warm! I miss Your Loving embrace I miss Your Reassurance! "Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?" Just As I felt In your arms, my love? How Do I let you go? How Do I set myself, free? I am ready To love, again! With 'Our eternal love' Supporting And Guiding me Especially In times, like these!
It was pointed out to me today that I am self absorbed My words did not come For I was stung Realizing they were right It was pointed out to me today that I am self centered I looked at the floor For I was stung Realizing that they could see through me It was pointed out to me today that I am self contained I pulled at my hands For I was stung Realizing that they were exposing me It was pointed out to me today that I have no concern for anyone but myself I choked on my words and clenched my fists For I was stung Realizing that they knew me too well This is what I have become
The words of a heart felt letter "I love you I didn't do it", fading into ashes. The flames of the hostile words "I know you did it, admit it slut" devouring and edging the pain. I stand, broken in shattered bits, my heart washed away by the rain. Words of love actions of hate, "Drew don't you see that it clashes?" It is done it is over, turn by turn a wave of relief then despair over me crashes. Mine, yours, ours, words of love, amore' it is now my bane. This heart of mine traveling a one way street in reverse, in the wrong lane. Togetherness taken for granted in its death throes our relationship thrashes. The wrath within loosed on a dying soul. Eternity of blackness snuffs out loves last flicker. This barrage is not you speaking but the words of your mistress Meth. Venom of anger and distrust conjured by your other love has taken its toll. Seething eyes burn me, his stinging tongue whips me with one last snicker. My affection crumpled my heart empty, descending, and falling, fading, death. Summer Gratias
A ritual born as radiance toils straight forth from my center eye threatening to overshadow everything that you are like a bad cancer that takes life from afar that takes back what was never given and return what was never there as a sign you truly care if not now when, how and where? I can't feel back very long I can't send back what went wrong I can't sense that in a fog that's encircling so many pawns A blue baby is always sad just maybe there's more to that his happy gland broken, he hopes it back pick up the pieces then glue them intact I am more than a maybe but less than a yes more better than average yet far from best at least not the worst its reserved for a time when I give up trying and pay all an unpaid mind A care these days is hard to give a bad decision is hard well lived a stare unknowing to spark a burst that sets off a chain into random verse that starts a seance of heavy chanting until blood and sweat build from heavy panting I'm alive, survived where others fell went in and came out of the wishing well with more than just a fist of pennies I let loose a wish so pretty it will radiate now for years to come why do I wait forever when twenty eight years have come and gone?
Wah Wah Ha Ha Jimmy Was He Overdrives Amplifies High Gain Ear Pain Thumb Fret You Bet B . B. King Idol's Zing Hall Of Fame Bears His Name Jimmy Hendrix But Buster Sticks
Will God Accept Me? I had nothing to offer to God but a life of shame. I was embarrassed of the mention of my name I had nothing to offer to God but "failure." I didn't know if he listened to me prayer? I had a life that was just falling apart. I often cried from a wounded heart. I began to blame myself for things going wrong. I began to feel like I didn't belong. I'd begin each day with a lot of stress and tension. I didn't feel any kind of love or appreciation. Many of my friends began to "leave me behind." There wasn't a single "friend" I could find! Just when everything was falling around me... Jesus was there! His love began to surround me! "Lord, please help me!" Where the words spoken. My life was coming apart!, And was empty and broken! Jesus reached down and took a hold of my hand! And told me everything I went through... He understands! Day by day he brought to me a peace I never knew! Putting my life back together was what he wanted to do! As I read his word, his spirit renewed my mind. A precious friend in HIM… I was able to find! He accepted me! And gave so much more! He truly is what living my life is meant for! He is and will always be the Lord for me! And can do the same for you! Most certainly! By Jim Pemberton
Mommas sorry I took you from The only life that you knew of Mommas sorry I took you away From your world of friends of every day Mommas sorry you had to adjust To brand new teacher's and studious musts Mommas sorry you haven't fit in To a school of strangers and what had been Mommas sorry I had no other choice Than to sooth your fears using my voice Mommas sorry if you feel all alone But I'll guide you through this fearful unknown Mommas sorry you've tried so very hard Still nothing has changed, all but new scars Mommas sorry for the sudden change Adapt my daughters to all that's strange Give me time to help you feel at ease Give me the moment to help you please © Stacy Lynn Stiles
Satan Wants Me to Be Destroyed And Defeated! Satan wants me destroyed and defeated… So God's will in my life, won't be completed He wants to see me "up against a wall." And wants to be there, when I "stumble and fall." He wants for my life to "crash to the ground." And he doesn't want any help to be around! He wants my life to come to a "screeching halt." And then try to tell me, it's all of my fault! He wants to see every good thing to be destroyed. He doesn't want God's truth to ever be employed! He'll twist the truth into any way that he can! Anything of God… He doesn't want me to understand! He wants to corrupt what I'll do and say! And wants to take everything wholesome away! I need to listen and trust Christ to overcome! I can do it, through the blood of God's son! With him as my Lord, Satan will have to flee! I seek the blood of Jesus to daily protect me! A invite you Jesus to complete your will in my life! And ask for your blessings upon my family and wife! I seek Jesus! Behold his awesomeness and power! Jesus is the victor! Satan is defeated this very hour! Thank you Jesus! For redeeming my soul! Because of your shed blood… Satan has to go!!! By Jim Pemberton
Drinking heavily Calling repeatedly Ecstasy rising Time meaningless Crushing reality Conscious decisions Arguing forcefully Friendship emptiness Falling away Is it about time?
Satan Told Me That No One Loves Me! I heard the devil whisper into my ear… "No one loves you!" "Come over here!" In front of me, where temptations of various kinds... It was almost overwhelming for my mind! He promised "love." And much more! I had no idea of what was in his "store!" I asked Jesus to help the way I was livin.' I needed his love, and HIS power of forgivin.'! Would I trade all of this, for a life of deceit and lies? Being "trapped" by what was, Shown to my eyes? Was I going to trade what God gave, for a "pleasure of the moment?" Was I about to make a mockery of Christ' atonement? I ran, and bowed my head and cried… For a brief moment, I felt rejected and despised! I felt the Holy Spirit's presence all around me! Iit was like the love of Jesus had filled me! This time, I knew that what I had, was all I needed! With Christ in my life, I no longer have to be defeated! Satan is a liar! He has one purpose and goal! He wants nothing more, than to destroy my soul! Take notice Satan! This is what I proclaim! Everything I'll ever need! I have in Jesus' name! The blessings from Jesus, has supplied my every need! It's an everlasting and abundant love, that I received! Thank you Jesus! For giving what I need and more! You are truly wonderful! And are worth living for! By Jim Pemberton
Alas my love my dying day Will bring sweet whispers to my grave Recumbent in your evil snare Snakes will tempt you, strip you bare Careful now with tender lips They will persuade those dormant hips To move in places dark unknown And when let go, will be alone Alas my love my will dissolves In oceans built on dire resolve Swept away in winds disguised Then crushed in waves, drift and died Venom ruins your perfect veins Skin retracts, reminds disdain Then mirror with its clever eye Reclaims its sympathy, yours and mine
You should be caring You should love us You should have some respect You should not ignore us Sisters…sisters… You say you're sorry Today comes you're not sorry at all Sisters…sisters… I try so hardly But by all means You don't try at all You're just there to cause us problems And whine about you're fake innocence To mom and dad? How pathetic How soulless You're always there To gain what's best for you And leave You change your tones Seeking a joke of ours You get jealous Because of us You team up against me So that no one believes me How pathetic How soulless You're never sorry Even if you say it I try not to waste life But you try harder to waste it I try not seeking you're attention And do what mom says Then it's always me I'm the bad guy? Hell no I didn't do a thing But thus They always believe you… Of you're fake tears They always do… I'm glad I'm not fake Unlike you!
Thirteen, deemed brilliant...quite attractive, injecting her poison through the blood of countless young boys... boys...calling her home...riding by... boys...craving her time...wanting her... But beyond the intellect, she was insensitive and, at times, brutal. "Dance with me." "No way, you're ugly." "Would you like to go see a movie?" "No, you're not my type." Chased...so she ran as distraught boys with bruised hearts neither forgot nor... forgave.
Callous Every tiny things matter in a young world, and then with callous eyes, he is used to pick days and nights as they pass him, as they pass beyond. Sometimes he panics, fears that she'll go away and he won't feel any ache, just be watching her moving away, erasing; looking at the place where she has been seen last; with covert anger. A tiny butterfly flies, in and out, in and… the patch of rain raises smells, smells of musty dusk. The callous eyes follow the hands clutching heart where past is blending in pains and agonies. =© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar
UNSUPPORTED CODE A Brother Who Let His Brother Fall... I knew of a Christian, who let his brother fall. He didn't reach out to help him at all... When his brother needed someone, he wasn't there. He said, "why should I bother him, or even care?" It was almost like he wished for the worst to take place. I could see him even wear a smile on his face! "Why should I lift a hand to help?" were the words said. It was like he wished his brother was "better off" dead. The anger I felt inside of me, was difficult to express! How can he neglect his brother, and expect to be blessed? Why does he call himself a "Christian?" He doesn't show it! When it comes to love and forgiveness... He doesn't even know it! What did Christ mean, when he said "love one another?" Doesn't this include everyone? Including our brother? What do we expect from God? What would he say? "You can't forgive your brother?" "Go away!" If we can't freely share the love God has given... How in the world, do we expect to be forgiven? The love of Christ must completely change us within! So we can experience what it means to be BORN AGAIN! Christ has given to us his love! Nothing can compare it! May we all receive this love, and freely share it! By Jim Pemberton
David and Goliath When David heard Goliath bring God's name disgrace. He wondered if any man would challenge him, face to face. All the men in Israel were scared, and not this brave. For if they lost, they'd be the Philistines' slave. King Saul wondered if anyone would challenge this man. David accepted—knowing this was God's land. With a small stone he chose from a river bed, He faced Goliath, with God placing the stone into his head. Perhaps there's a GIANT in your life that's causing you fits. Your trust must be in Jesus. This--you must admit. Lust, anger, pride— whatever your giant might be. Defeating this giant, with God's help, will bring you the victory! By Jim Pemberton
These cinders fall to the waters below, I am lost, scared, alone, She felt the urge to burn it and burn it she did, And here I am… alone, alone. As my heart pumps and lurches forth I feel the calm – the urge, "Let go" This Anniversary… alone, alone. I confide a hero I could have been But these ashes and charred remains Only fall to the sea of brokenness and disappointment The distance of this canyon only grows And her green eyes disappear... she fades "I love you i really do…" she claims from the arrow's note "sorry again" I falter… I crumble… Alone…
The light was green I sat, clutching gear the cars impatient the color unclear I've know such sad thought, and fear this is different real and severe When sadness evolves alone, without haste you no longer hide tears without taste proof that it's come Plateau to new ground Sadness requires no face and no crown No person to know see quivering chin sadness matures to sadness within finally blossoms reveals hidden space colors uncertain tears without taste
I went and signed up for a course to make sin a whole lot more banal and a lot less fun to be in, to make my retentiveness more anal now chocolate is not as dark and rich those stolen kisses aren't as sweet hearing juicy gossip's just a snitch and pride feels like it's only conceit five miles over the state's limit seems like murdering my innocent child to show up at the free clinic's illicit I've taken all joy from being free and wild I'm thinking now of forgetting the damn course life's no fun since I'm filled with remorse © Goode Guy 2012-04-07
A ghost that haunts my thoughts my nights are fearful My guilty conscience pressing me reminding me of my misdeeds I gasp, eyes wide open begging him to leave me I seek forgiveness and release from those I`ve decieved I clutch the blankets sweat trickling down my face He stands there above me his horrid face looms in I turn away but his cold lifeless breath touches my ears I shiver in fear Let me sleep! I beg you Let me sleep! At least a night or two release me from your curse Leave me alone give me some peace I`ll atone for my sins So let me sleep.
Will I say: "I made a difference"? Will I say: that I stood out? Will I say: "I gave it my all, beyond the shadow of a doubt"? When it is my time that comes, and when the end is near Will I accept the outcome? Will I have any fear? I've made so many mistakes My judgment's not been right I've burned so many bridges But still, I see a light! It seems like every time I want to close the door, there you are, you hold the key, and I don't know what for You take me higher You are the one I know you hold the key You take me higher You are the one What am I supposed to be? I am here You are there I am here You are there You take me higher You are the one I know you hold the key You take me higher You are the one What am I supposed to be? Will I say: "I made a difference"? Will I say: that I stood out? Will I say: "I gave it my all, beyond the shadow of a doubt"? When it is my time that comes, and when the end is near Will I accept the outcome? Will I have any fear? I've made so many mistakes My judgment's not been right I've burned so many bridges But still, I see a light! You take me higher You are the one I know you hold the key You take me higher You are the one What am I supposed to be?
Why Do We Take Christ Out of Christmas? Christmas is the only holiday we often don't call by name. We often forget about the true reason that Christ came. It's the only holiday that we often call "a holiday." It's true meaning, is often, taken away! It's more than the tree and all of the glittering lights… It's time to think about the Bethlehem star so bright! It's more than going shopping at the malls… More than, "Jingle Bells," or "Deck the Halls!" It's more than seeing how many people we can buy for. Or that clearance sale, you're willing "to die for!" It's more than buying the "newest in entertainment." Or receiving a gift that may "cause an embarrassment." Beyond all of the presents and all we truly believe in. Let's all come to Christ Jesus and receive him! Let's think about his birth, and his death on the cross! Without HIM… The true meaning of Christmas is lost! He brings the hope, joy and cheer that's needed! Won't you listen to his voice? That often goes unheeded? Christ is what's important! And shouldn't be left out! He's what matters! And is what Christmas is all about! Let's be joyful! It was for all of us that he came! And take this time to bring honor and glory to his name! By Jim Pemberton
Etched between two pines shaven mountain crest Beneath benchmarker lined tombstones
So, there you are Returned from fighting another mans war Heard you're quite the hero Good for you my friend Twenty years young Couldn't wait To kick some terrorist ass And so you did So very well indeed I hear Now you're back Nothing more to kick What are you to do with yourself Lying there as you are Look at all of us here To welcome you back Can you not hear the joy Can you not see the happiness Or is it all hidden behind the tears So here you are returned In a flawless uniform Lying there all smug and confident With a peaceful look Here you are returned Fresh off the plane In a nice tight package Here you are returned To never leave again Good to have you back my friend Only wish it could have been Without the box
Welcome to the old you Hello, Hello, Despair so Crude, Dreams are gone Yet we still follow the old Path Where empathy kills And the Sympathy we find is another Lie You were born to deceive A puppet-master of emotion Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Exchange pleasure for pain It's all coming t you The facade of Joy falls again Violet Hearts crush easy Your Pain you don't Want this Your Sorrow, You Want This Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold?
Time for me to say My last goodbye. If this mind and outlook of mine Won't change once I leave. Then I may attempt What I've been thinking of From within those past years. I've isolated myself long enough; So no one will any longer be as close to me. I've already written and spoken My truest of feelings. Some day it may be time for me to say My last goodbye to whatever happiness That has been left behind Deep within my mind.
Another day to get through this Another drink to drown the itch I wish you were less the problem And more the fix There are only so many ways to say goodbye And I never got to choose any of them Maybe when you've decided to say hello I'll be obliged to gift one then A morning frozen over by the death of the sun Captivates what has come and what has gone Giving time to weigh and to measure What can be kept and what can be lost forever There are no doors and no windows There's only this dark hallway A collapsing wall behind you Pushing you down, pressing you on Such carefully irrational decisions we make Too many rules we ignore in this game Someday I'll no longer remember your name Worn-down, distorted, and left in shame There are only so many ways to say goodbye And I never got to choose any of them Maybe when you've decided to say hello I'll be obliged to gift one then
O n an imaginary pedestle before imaginary crowds I'm astounded that it's taken me so long to learn to take the hard knocks and not to cry out loud and not to make excuses for my songs but I'm sorry if my sanity won't fit the mold you made for me and my manifold iniquities have exceeded your ability to forgive Just let me live until I die let me laugh until I cry let me stop and ask you "why?" then interrupt you in the middle of your answer just an alcoholic dancer stepping on your toes I should learn to keep my mouth shut I should learn keep the peace I should learn to walk on water and make the tempest cease I should learn to be more considerate torwards a world that's trying to sleep maintane diplomatic apathy with right wing fascist creeps but I'm sorry if my psyche seems a little out of touch and I'm sorry that I'm sorry that I apologize to much just let me live until I die let me laugh until I cry let me stop and ask you "WHY?" then interrupt you in the middle of your answer just an alcoholic dancer stepping on your toes
I've called your number now six times or more and the machine, it keeps picking up, I really need to talk to you As I wait by the phone knowing you won't answer, I feel stuck, I am hurting, I don't know what I can do I have no more answers, I have nothing left, I poured out my heart and my soul If you could not handle it, if you didn't want the burden of it, I'm sorry it's taken its toll I pick up the phone and put it back down, what is the use; it is obvious you want to be alone Time moves so slowly now, left with my thoughts and fears, I suppose for my sins I must atone Maybe tomorrow we will talk and I can explain, clear something up and help you see But I get the feeling that, from all the hell I have caused, the last person you want to talk to is me
Memories haunt and yet they lead. They help us to find our way. Memories bring choices with comparisons made. Memories lead to decisions as corners we turn. But memories are fluid and change as life goes on. We forget and discard what we don't want. Later we revisit and change images again. Resentments change to love and care long lost. Achievements verses what we gave up. Even wrong can become trying to do right. Other viewpoints open the older we become… Then we revisit and memories change again. Memories can be truth or lies, but they are always… As fluid as the life from which they come.
Vincent we were never chary that is why we are now so forever sorry after losing you one starry starry night when you gave up the fight when you turned out the light when two wrongs became right and that's when you so amazingly gifted had your burdens lifted and then you flew and drifted out of view into the hue of your favorite midnight blue sailing, wailing away from yesterday not caring anymore what they had to say coming to rest in the forbidden silent grey where we miss you still today now you are safe from tomorrow's sorrow safe from the brilliance of your brain safe from the perpetual pain just let it rain on them warm beautiful colors on a summer's breeze or perhaps a virtuous snow floating delicately down maybe then they'll listen maybe then they'd know You know, your beauty still paints our souls And your roses and the daffodils They still grow But Vincent, you You didn't have to go
What I sought in money... was my livid escape from a reality I couldn't break with haste!
I just wanted to get better, But I guess it didn't matter. I guess I'm not the same, I don't know who I became. I thought it was going good, I was doing all I could; To pick myself up off the ground, I tried to turn my life around. I thought I'd be all right, If I tried with all my might; To finally be the happy one, I wanted to let myself have some fun. I guess it didn't work, Now I look like such a jerk. I want to fix it all, I don't want to take another fall. Maybe I should find a way, To try to be happy another day.
I'm sorry for hurting you, sorry for not telling You what you want to hear… I'm sorry for not missing you, Promise to do that in the next life... I'm sorry for not mentioning you to my friends… I'm sorry for not saying your name in my sleep anymore 'Cause, I'm still getting over the hurt, the lies and frustrations, You played your part, you mastered the act... Its my time now, Its my time to shine, Its my time to roll the dice, Its my time to play the ace... Let's see you try and rule my life, I am in CONTROL!! And you? Well, you are just a distant memory...
She said: "Why are you like that?" He said: "Because I've been there and I'm done with that." She asked: "Do you think I'm like everyone else?" He answered "No. You just remind me of myself. " She asked: "What do you mean I remind you of yourself?" He replied: "It means I'm not going to waste time on you or anyone else." So then she asked: "Do you hate you? Is that what you really mean?" He continued: "Yes, you are worthless, therefore reminding me of me. Don't you get it? I can't stand you because of all the sadness your face happens to bring." She cried: "You are a bastard with a father! You should have never been born you should have remained an unborn offspring" He told her: "Go away you can't change anything!" But before she left him... streaming rum flavored tears changed everything. He screamed: "Life------ You've left me nothing. For what more of me could you possibly be asking? She replied "I've left you with another chance. You should've lost me forever on this night. Now seek what you look for and don't disregard that which you can't find."
I have an itch (Not for crack or coke) To hit the road. If you have it you feel it If you don't, You don't. But an itch has to be scratched (Unless it's chicken pox or poison ivy) Before it drives you crazy. It's too late to deny Too late to change Too much to ignore. With blessings or curses I'm leaving tomorrow. If I disappear forever I'm either happy or dead. But I have to go now, Before I scratch off my head.
What Amazes Me How People Are Easily Offended What amazes me…Is at just the "drop of a hat." How easy people get offended and "turn their back." I go to church and some say "we welcome you as you are." But forget all about you when you go out to your car. As long as your "in the groove" and say "pleasant things." You feel some "love" no matter what life may bring. You get involved with activities of various kinds. And have discussions with "many different minds." But if you say something to someone that may "offend." They "have nothing to do with you." And don't call you "friend." How many believe what scripture teaches concerning "God's eternal love." But rather try to give the other person a "shove." What good does it do to tell others you're Christ' example? When an "offensive" brother is "kicked around and trampled?" Isn't it time to put all of your feelings of "anger" aside? And ask God to take away all bitter feelings and pride? To those who've received mercy. We must give it in return. Jesus knows our every thought. And is concerned! Why not find somebody that you have "brushed away?" And speak love to him in what you do and say! Learn what it truly means to live and the power to forgive! Your life for Christ… Is what our savior gives! Seek to restore relationships in those that surround you! Seeing how God can work through you just may astound you! By allowing the goodness of Christ in you to be completed… Any hard feelings or unforgiveness will be defeated! By Jim Pemberton
Used to look through child's eyes Used to stare at star ridden skies Used to smile at silly sounds Used to dream of the future's bounds Used to play in the thicket of my mind Used to search for a place to hide Used to act like story book heroes Used to count from 100 back to zero Used to hold my breath till my face was bright red Used to believe all the words that everyone said Used to want a big house and brand new car Used to hope that I could someday set the bar Used to use my imagination Used to use that motivation Now being used by my frustration Of being used by my own generation Used to... used to... You know I used to... Use it all without a thought Used too... Used too... We're all being used too... Bought and sold like an old iron pot Used to... used to... You know we all used to... Dream our world would never rot Used too... Used too... It's all being used too... All our resources from bottom to top Used to sit up all hours of the night Used to believe that people were alright Used to think that we could still pull through Used to think that everybody knew Used to have faith in the 'truth' Used to see their words as proof Used to hide these tears I'd cry Used to hold my head up high Used to think I had a grasp Used to disguise myself with a plastic mask Used to act like there was no problem Used to hypocritically mock any and all of 'em Used to use their aspiration Used to use their motivation Now they use their investigation To bind us to their administration Used to... used to... You know I used to... Use it all without a thought Used too... Used too... We're all being used too... Bought and sold like an old iron pot Used to... used to... You know we all used to... Dream our world would never rot Used too... Used too... It's all being used too... But when will this mass consumption ever stop?
Let me be some other girl Whose heart isn't rooted in this world - Whose tears don't fall for sake of fears - Whose dreams haven't haunted her for years - Let me be someone else's dream So nothing I feel is as it seems- So all my darkness was really light- So that all my wrongs were really rights- Let my heart not be broken in two That I hate myself for what I do- That I destroy myself and all around- That I kill the truths before they're found- Let my cries never be heard Never listened to through spoken word Never missed so never found Never mourned for though in ideals ive drowned Please let me be some other girl Whose heart isn't rooted in this world Please let me be what I can dream Dead to the world, please let me lose me. (p.s i apologise for the depressive nature of this)
My heart is heavy, down to the depths of my soul, and I want to cry out, for this disenchantment is taking it's toll. My sorrow is evident, my disappointment too, how can something that came from me, think so little about what they do. To them its a passing moment, a quick step in time, but the consequences can be grave, if they continue along this line. Will what's going on to a serious crime lead, or is just a teen curiosity? Will he from this lesson take heed? I can only advise him, and direct him as best I can, letting him know my disappointment, and still assuring him I'm his biggest fan.
Today I lived my life with ghosts Both living and dead Your face, their face Slipped through my fingers and fell to the floor Hundreds of pictures of you and them Hundreds of moments and moments and moments Too numerous and caught in that web of time Dangled on a cobweb so thin, so fine It could break but does not snap And lasts and lasts And holds and holds All there, suspended in that instant Before falling to the floor, Or in the box of memories. To be kept. So where do you reside, in the bin or the box? Where do you live for future's worth? Will you be cut adrift or salvaged in those stepping stones to the past. And yet, she still picked up those photos of you Pained and dulled Still confused and stabbed by what has happened over time. She saw your face and paused. Reflected. She then gently collected up those images of you and me And saved them in the box One day for all to see in times to come. She decided not to put you in the bin. Unlike me. She rescued her childhood. Put down a marker in the sand And said stop to the sea To the waves and waves That break over time and pain Saved you from the blankless pile of Venice and Florence And Christmas and beaches and Barbies and laughter And with a simple dignity She gave you back some worth.
How do the eyes draw so much even 'till sight becomes touch that the fall of a stream or a beam produces such a curious gleam that these false thoughts become real as I imagine what I feel. My reason to kneel, the end or fulfill -ment of this plan to kill. And when such beauty makes desire so bright that temptation begins to rule the night that horrible goodness that comes from the jump and the run leads me to life and yet also the gun as I find myself staring and tricked into caring. But find I only distance in eye while in mind left behind to the search I bind myself to this hurt constantly rubbing face in dirt looking for a way to speak to be strong when I am weak and these secrets I must keep so ever on inside I'll weep. Knowing I've known Already with my head up and beat steady.
punish me now, for all my sins. i have to feel the pain again. beat me hard, completely down. do not stop, until I'm in the ground. bring all crimes, back to trial. then i can condemn myself a while. remind my soul of it's fate. it will not enter heaven's gate.
Feels limiting living in a small place... I retrace all my sorrows and joys In a region I've personally proclaimed as my home. Within my mind is only a dream of another place. Another desire and wish of mine is to be set free. I am sorry, but I must leave... My mind shall turn into a fixated set of Feelings of missing of my young prayed-for angels (My baby brother and my little sister). Farewell for a while, my friends, For I will go onto a journey (alone or not alone, doesn't matter). As I keep this decision (to be true to myself and honest of myself), I shall be able to continue my very own life with precision. So farewell and be glad for yourselves, Even when everything feels out of your own range, Please remember how I perceived life through Changings of thinking and changes of maturing mind.
You were laid On the bed that was made For your eternal sleep As you lie When you're starting to die You begin to believe That a lie Was all that you were And all that you are And you cringe That this might just be true And the thought of you Leaving alone Would keep you awake forever As you dream In your head, in your mind You fear you will never wake Recollect And recall memories And they were all lies You would die For someone they were And someone they are And you laugh For trusting their words And their gratitude Leaving alone Would keep you awake forever
I AM One chain away from the day when everything was so black and grey One chain away from when I actually care about anything you have to say One chain away from home sweet home and home sweet home to stay One chain away from getting down on my knees to say thank you, God, and pray One chain away from convincing myself that I'm gonna make it and be ok One chain away from feeling hopeless each and everyday One chain away from being on my back abused confused and under attack when everything was so grey and black One chain away from coming out of the black and grey into the light where I can finally see One chain away from breaking loose and running free from leaving you and loving me
Well off on my own cause your problems concern me well off on my own soon as i took off the condomn you burned me well off on my own late for my date but i'm still early well off on my own cause every part of you silence me well off on my own cause my pain generally come from you well off on my own own my on off well. when love isn't shown just burn water where are you just turn corner where are you just earn quarter where are you well off on my own thats what i order for you.
As the cold winds blow I'll love you eternal We've always been one In separating ways Here you will find me Anticipating my demise To see you again And say what I couldn't Until that day I'll wait rewriting Reciting apologetic excuses Here I stand Where the lifeless reside Letting the wintry winds gust Like a whip on my back Forgive me
Hey babe. How ya doing? Is life treating you good? Are you happy now? I hope you are. I hope everything is working out for you. I hope you can find what you're looking for. You know you can never go back. You know you can't change what has already been done. You have to look forward. We have to look forward. The past can not be undone. We have to look forward. No more pointless day dreaming. No more thinking of "what if." I only hope that you're happy with the decisions you've made. I only hope that this is what you wanted. Did it play out the way you wanted? Did your life turn out the way you planned? Did all your expectations get filled? Was I holding you back? I'm sorry if I was. I thought you wanted more. I thought you wanted better. Better than what you grew up with. Better than what we had. Obviously better than what we had. I'm sorry for everything. Everything that added to nothing. Obviously nothing is what I had to offer. Good thing you didn't take it. I love you.
Stuck here, like a star in the sky, long since dead, and failing to shine. Who wants to be forgotten ? The words taste foul in my mouth, yet they come and come again. Now it is a sin, among the others. Making up every word, add a gesture and a smile. Twisting fate till it is mine, all mine ! Am I to young to have lost faith in everything ? When the smiles in return are gone, all that remains is my words echoing alone in my ear.
Homeless No Bliss Tribute To The Homeless Entry For Brian Strand's Footle
Given so much to others in my life... Written sincerities to my friends. Forgiveness of their mistakes and For those who once hurt me verbally. Many times I have generously given A dollar to those in need of it... No returning owe to pay, they forget, Yet I still remain generous and gracious. I'd give my life for all my friends If I could and ever have such a chance. They my friends have not been with me For as many times as they've been with each other. My life journey though Is of self-reliance... My mind is of sincerity And generosity. I give so much... Even though they rarely do the same, I continue to this strong Sense and feeling of loyalty anyway.
Here lies a good soul Who tried hard at life But could not take it's pain It's coldness and strife He tried hard at love But just never could win Lost faith in his god His life filled with sin So have mercy dear god When it comes judgement day For he gave it his best But got lost on the way.
Love no stranger, Kiss no stranger, For, a stranger's kiss, May prove amiss! A lonesome dove, Avid for love, Strove to entrap someone, Despaired, as she found none! Proud of her beauty vain, Spreads her net for every swain, Approached a shepherd on the field, Who, to her courtship would certainly yield. Young miss Mary, While making merry, Kissed a stranger And invited danger. Developed high fever, Her throat sore, Her tonsils painful, angry-red, With extreme fatigue, she was in bed. Petechiae on her palate soft, Her blood-test positive: 'Monospot' With doctor's drug she developed rash, He thrashed her complaint as 'simply trash'! Her painful, enlarged spleen and liver, Baffled her doctor, as they were markedly tender! The diagnosis of her malady, her doctor could not 'spot,' But pathological tests, I am sure, can certainly 'spot'!
It would have been cool To sit up wit ya Conversation of worked imagination Have you wishing I can kiss ya Retire the night With you and me falling asleep To make your dreams nice Sorry to say It won't work that way Things are too wrong to be al right Can't ever be ok Too many lies Truth stretched so far that will eventually leave your heart broken By trying to hold on and not shatter an innocent soul stolen and spinned outta control By charismatic dramatics Street sweet talk with precision Slow, low, with flow that made you want to listen As your mind is driven into submission Have you obsessed with the intellect Impressed with the biggest Charmed by the little things Treasure the moments you've shared with me Take you out of reality Leave you twisted in daydreams of what the future may bring A mind is a terrible thing to waste An unwanted heart one should never take I've learned but I've found out too late As I discover that a real lover will always be hurt no matter How long.............................. I search for a Sweet Easy Seperation
If I Had To Live … If I had to live just on the love you've given to me… Where would I be spending eternity? If I had to live on the time we've spent together… Am I someone you'd want to be with forever??? If I have an ambition. A dream. Or a vision… Would you care? And stop by to listen? If I have a heartache. Or a burden to share… Are you someone, who'd stop by and care? If I need someone to be Christ' example… Could you give me some of his love? Even a sample? If I had to spend my life all over again… Are you someone that I could call; "friend?" If I came to your church this Sunday morning… Would you welcome me? Or give others a "warning?" If I were to ask for a few minutes of your time today… Would you do it? Or tell me "to go away?" If you could sit down and think about what I'm saying… Perhaps the Holy Spirit would compel you to start praying… Praying for a compassion in reaching those who surround you. The many lost souls you know just may astound you! The message of God's grace needs to be daily expressed… That through your living for Christ… Others may be blessed! By Jim Pemberton
Little ears and Little eyes Tend to see what we deny Wounds that harm, wounds that bleed No one speaks of her harmful deed She left me here to take the blame I knew it then, it was no game No hugs or kisses, left for me No more love is what I see No time for answers, nor questions for she Who is to be here, for poor little me? Now I am all grown on my own She is not here only her bones I look to my little one and wonder how I could do..... The same thing Mother as YOU?
I have been pre - oc cupied i have knot been per - used to periodical nomanclature nor have I been be - spectaled by the enormity of my self but have been painting numerous simple questions to my self: under guises that I have flat out denied. sorry if I have scared you with this literal literary banter, I didn't mean to impose or be too daring, by posing contests of painting the decanter from this email poster... to hear that the health of you two has improved and sickness, and blues are freed - form obtuse, Once Pasteur once said:" It's not what yr eatin' - It's what yr fed" that I missed yr visit and scared you with my insecure are you there? rambling exclamations I sent you proof that I am merely a typist out in cyberspace...and that I was in need of more than online conversation... sorry sylvia, I will no longer bother you, I am sorry of my over - reaction, but not of the attraction I sensed from you, and never from the time spent between us 2
a sigh of relief sometimes sets us apart from restraints or beliefs that lay claim to the heart know the price of your love is too steep to be brought if the ones you beloved lack the lessons it taught someone you called friend may have just let you down or betrayed upon end as you sever each sound of a name or a place that used to be heard now has just been misplaced by this gesture of word when done with confusion you cant comprehend its that sigh of relief that will bring it to end
There, just beyond that dream. There's my life ripped at the seam. Then there's my friends, the pot-heads and dope feens. And there's a hole, in the dark; void of light; missing a soul. Glowing with ambition. Growing in shame. A blur to sight, a mentality of pain. There, just beyond what's real You'll never know just what I feel And here, are my sins…Scabs of dirt, that'll never heal. My pain has a taste, like rust and copper Like copper and rust, I steadily waste A constant reminder, of what I've lost Oh just what you'll pay for trust. Just what is the cost? The fire is in the human head. We're the reason of our falling And already fallen dead. For the "tree" is gone. We've choked her, and she was never fed. Like untamed weeds, we've sucked her dry Though we carry on, mutating our future's seeds Now look into my eyes, see what's written on my face Our true lives are gone. We're just a dying breed out of place. Here…Right here…around and above I've gone blind in my search for unconditional love So I hope you remember. I hope you can recall Yourself being the symbolic death of Peace; a fallen dove. I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry for "us." I hate that the truth leaves confusion,, and not knowing what to do There once was something here, that was of color, for lease Then rented, used, and destroyed. So I hope you're happy, PHukcers, how you've disrespected our deceased.
A druid's interpretation of forefathers' declaration There shall be twixt Church and State a separation There shall never be a separation twixt God and state This "over simplification" of what they said cuts through and shreds all of The Magnificent Arguments lawyers judges and atheists have put forth and causes this latest Supreme Court decision to be considered treason What else can one call overthrowing constitutional law but treason God willing before they fire their chaplain This congress can come to its senses This country started with a revolution Men put their necks at risk ruined their lives to say We are free to govern ourselves Under God and no church shall interfere This druid says replace incompetence But 'tis only wry humor Incompetents multiply too quickly In any robes they don
i have been caused to fall as you have come crashing into my little world unobserved,i'm diving in pushed so far to believe a fearful little girl i don't want to alter you you are your own delight i will never gun you down but now i am silenced feeling like a naughty child thrown from a world i found my strength once was fuelling but i weaken easily i put the blame on you i buckle in my confusion my heart burns with pain fear of the unknown shows through to you i look for comfort as it's you that i've invited to try and squeeze love from me disabled by the truths of not being better than i am to you-just another familiarity
Struggling to put face and name together You passed so long ago it is difficult to recall Those bright hazel eyes that sparked of life Dirty blonde hair as it shone in the daylight Gone in the autumn you fell with the leaves But you won't return with the natal of spring They regret and apologize for wars long over Now old and crippled time cannot return to me I have wept at your loss and done nothing To repay the heavy burdened debt I carry You were someone's son and lover Felled by my eye and bullet.
though it's yours you've not seen this road before the nights alone the storms blown the pavement never smooth the mirror of my youth you've not seen this road before until i showed it to you when i opened the car door to let you out and you walked home, angry in the potholes of my footsteps
Horoscopes defy what the mind already knows Sagittarius categorized, Catholically inclined Religion forces Signed eyes to reconsider deliverance Archer status on the dance floor Lips poised clothing crunk'd High heels dipped in ghetto couture Street loved, Sirens seem to posess me with Hip-Hop streaming Cold blue steel pressed against my thigh He makes me forget Good Girl analogies Marxist ideologies and paying the water bill Electric cars and global warming Catholic tendencies clash with knee-jerk leftist remarks Minorities have a propensity to be Democratically oriented Shall I take it to the highest point of disregard And let Disneyland dreams give way to worldly needs Oh God May we philosophize before his muscles take me over Smiles reconcile what was once sober Drunk off uncertainty "I live for the moment" lies We all need a little healing I forget my repented chants to forgive sins The more educated I become the harder it is to blindly believe Faith is a tired charade that I must play Center stage, bright eye'd and readily paid I believe but must I rely on what the homily says The bank notes the eagerness in charity of diluted masses I trust in the Lord Everyone needs a mentor To relinquish safety in the face of uncertainty Is something revolutionary Am I to fall in love with guilt as my ancestors before me Will Jesus still love me if i'm not sorry for smiling I'm not sorry at all for being Lividly in love with living But was it T.S Elliot who was so declined to meet The basic devotion in his poetry Or was it me who denies faith everlastingly I'm already twisted with these bottles of opiated, over the counter conviction Priests who color me darker then I was before I dipped my hand Into sanctified waters Questions procede answers that are left for dying The Vatican with daily mantras force me to facilitate fate Is this the right religion for me Why isn't faith enough, destiny binds me to unforgiving roots Relatives in Zoot-suits trying to mix it up The fine lines between being revolutionary and being impious Are fading so slightly from the clear cut minds Or is it mine whose mind is cut from something similar to sacrilede profanity Surely we shall see With prayer in my hand the devil at my feet
The sins of my past are haunting me. The people that have been wronged keep appearing. The saddened voices make their pleas. They got into a battle they were never meant to be in. Some were taken out as they were running away from the carnage. Back then it was hard to tell who was wrong and who was right. It was kill or be killed back then. The rawness of it still burns in me. After that battle, I vowed only to use my weapon for good. Never will I go back to that person I was so long ago. What happened back then I can not change. I can only promise to never go back to that.
A crippled devout is bedridden None in his family to earn His innocent, cherub children Are dying of starvation! With pouted lips they ask 'O! relenting Lord hark! To us why are you so merciless?' Immutably He replies, '—Because you are faithless!! 'The extortionist though he commits sin, Prays me from his heart within!!' Fie! Fie!! Relentless Lord!!! Compassionate, clement Death! Be not proud!!
stuck in a floating sensation, catatonic. electrical impulses, weightless like water. breathing, scarf to keep warm. excitement dying down. convulsions,beautiful convulsions. reminders of why action is needed. filling empty space with nothing, nothing but wasted oxygen, breathing. something grabbing hold, tightly. dragging down into darkness. the light dims, forget about the light. battery dies, theres is no light. shut the door, to keep out the warmth.
Verse 1: I know that I made a lot of mistakes/ and it's too late/ to fix things/ and I'm trying to start a fresh anew/ but you keep telling me we're through/ and I'm telling you-u-u/ Chorus: Why can't we just pretend/ so we can start over again/ like things never happened/ but no matter how hard I try for us to be/ it'll just be make believe/ it'll just be make believe/ Verse 2: i can understand why/ you can't get over what I did/ and I know it hurts/ I'm putting salt all over your burns/ but I can't help what I feel inside/ I want you back In my life/ i know you still love me/ so don't tell me/ that this is just make believe-eve/ Chorus: 3x
What a day! It's pouring so hard . . . I'd to go to the airport to pick up somebody a wet day! 'un día mojado', such a day, indeed! but, I'd to go for he must have arrived already. When I got there passengers in drove were elsewhere, cabs, vans, trucks, and many cars were waiting; while waiting outside, a sheriff came telling us to move on that made me decide to make another round and see if he'd be when I come back to pick him up. However, he hadn't emerged as yet and therefore, I decided to take another round and park the car; still pouring, oh Lord of the Most High! I found it difficult to get back with certain roads closed especially in Terminal A where I was heading for; indeed, what a day! What a disaster! What a mess, so to say. I felt so sorry for him for that long procession of waiting Hours in waiting while struggling to find other ways to meet him – his Excellency, whose eyes were whitened waiting, waiting, what an annoying day! then traffic congestion greeted us on our way, another experience, another test of patience.
I was born with a broken heart. So you can't brake what's been broken from the start. I was born between two people torn apart. Why love? You can't feel something not real. Why hurt? I'm a brick wall that feels nothing at all. You are ready to walk out that door. You want me to say the words That can make you stay. What fore? For a while those words were so easy to ignore. All I can do is ask you to stay. I can't lie to you that way. Please, Don't cry! You don't know how much I've tried. Love has never been an important part of what's inside my heart. I thought you knew that from the start. You say you love me. This just cannot be! One time I believed in love Until he made me see. Every night he beat me he said "Who could possible love you."? That's when I knew. Love cannot be true. Then my daddy went away. I learned a lot that day. So walk away! I was never taught how to feel. I hope you find something true and real. Don't act so sad. At least you got out before it got bad. You are the only heart I knew to be true But understand I CANNOT LOVE YOU!
The blood was so red, Mixed within the water, I tried not to look, At what my eyes where ashamed of. Yet it held my gaze, Like a lover lost, In his angels soul. I held you tightly, Embracing our pain, I could feel you shake, The fear in your tears, Overpowering what was suppose to be, As you called out my name, I pulled the plug, Wishing for forgiveness. The tornado came, As I watched what was once my dream, Spiral and spin, Its sound of thunder, How can this be such a perfect storm, That has yet to be named. I ran more water, Hot became cold, In library time, I recalled what was told, Just hours before I had accepted, Everything was suppose to be ok, It wasn't going to rain, Not today not ever, I can still see the stain. I silently asked why, You so loudly called out my name, Over and over again and again, Both asking questions, How can we fix this pain, Of flooding confusion… The answers never came. I tried not to get sick, I tried to be strong, As I hid your eyes, My chest wet with your dreams, Things started to spin, All I could do was pray, Please give me back, What hasn't been named.
You keep telling me you want to change, you want to feel happy, peace, better in so many ways. Then why do you choose to wallow in your pain? Why do you choose such self destructive ways? I wish I could help you but I find myself stepping back. Unfortunately, Misery loves company... and I won't let your misery try to make me it's company.
I will not speak the words Your ears are wanting to hear I will not show those feelings Your heart wants me to share I will not see you differently Your eyes are blind towards me I will not hear your sorrow It will not set me free I have become the person I'm happy with inside It matters not what you think No longer will I hide I've tried to make all happy I've tried to please you all I've tried to be the person Captured I've been thralled So now I'm breaking free From all the chains that bind I've opened up this can of worms To freely speak my mind I'm sorry if your bothered I'm sorry if your sad I'm sorry if your guilty I'm sorry if your mad The time has finally come To stand on my own feet I'll travel through the flames of hell Until I feel complete
Smiling he cries, gazing at the beautiful baby he once considered unwanted who now gives him plenty of joy. Sadly she smiles, reading about a cancer cure, but too late! having already lost her man to the dreaded disease. Is this some kind of a sick joke, of life giving us different endings? when sadness we expect, joy we get, when joy we aim for, sadness results!
Daughter, sister, Wife, mother, Adjectives of kinship Are worthy of worship Markers of purity, Idols of sanctity, Yet victims of atrocity! Strange cozenage of sanctity!!
Twisted as if I am a sheet wrapped tightly in wind on a clothes line. Undone as if the clasp of my necklace has broken. Faded like no one notices or recognizes or wants to hold me or hug me openly. Sorrow is building inside myself am I alone in this crazy world. I am anxious to be around new people...you people. My heart tightens my pulse quickens, my breath is taken away? But why am I alone, I can't believe that or I would be nonexistent...
Forgive the sun that didn't shine, The sky had asked her in to dine. Forgive the stars that heard your wish, The moon prepared their favorite dish. Forgive the rain for its attack, The clouds have tears they can't hold back. Don't hate the birds 'cause they are free, Don't envy all the things they see. Don't block the wind, but hear its cry, Or else that wind may pass you by. Forgive the storm it means no harm, Could not resist showing its charm. Forgive the earth that never turns, Don't hate the sun, because too much burns. Life intends to not cause pain, The flowers bloom from all the rain. The storm will come and it will pass, The sun that shines, it grows the grass. The wind it cannot help but cry, The stars at night light up the sky. Forgive the world in which we live, We'll all find peace if we forgive.
Fabel Twelth Author Message Admin Admin Age : 53 Joined : 13 Jun 2007 Posts : 720 Subject: Fabel Twelth Today at 14:08 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fabel Twelth Moral Inventory Charlax Fables The four thousand year old day The end of a day is somehow better than the beginning eye carefully left my roll and hid my blanket in the place eye like to find it hoping no one goes there it is still quite cold eye lost some composure when the Jogger ignored me and proceeded onto the bridge quite rudely so early to an old man in a hurry eye was almost jogging myself HE came at me like he is used to better days he expected me to jump frog out of his way eye yelled at him " NO" eye said "you SAW me on this bridge" and then eye rudded him eye BUMPED him with my bag just one of three eye always carry just in case of rain. He kept his tongue and made me think that he is mute perhaps he cannot speak perhaps he is one of them? He seemed so strang to me like someone not even there perhaps an ANGEL sent to test me to see iff eye was there? But yet the BIBLE clearly states that JESUS tests or tempts no man so where was HE from? This Jogger made me mad. Everything else was bent from that one chance encounter eye have been a bad boy in the middle of my night but it's all for love ewe the bus was late and sometimes the driver lets people off same side they call it but today he decided everyone must go to the bus stop and wait in the snowless cold and it made me an hour late and no one gives me love the lieberrian is so depressed she cries it seems she just does not have enough? Can someone give me love no only ewe. No Matter how rude no matter how smart they ain't tough there is no substitute for tough not big or mean but eye am tough. Buyer beware eye am a survivor. Fabel Twelth
A buddy, I inadvertantly estranged, Is back in my world.... And it is a joy for me... Long have I regreted perhaps Having said the wrong thing.. As a fool, such as I, am apt to do... Ensconced in bursts of stupidity, I always amaze myself With the stupid words I sometimes tend to generate... Someday, I will learn my lesson.... I think I am half way there... God Bless Soup and all it's ingredients, And Happy Holidays!!! tom
Meloncolly Baby MeloncollY Baby Homesickness threatens me what with the World Wide Web at my fingertips Eye just smurfed a place that used to be my home before the SATAN came The place looks just the same as it ever was eye used to walk those streets Eye used to live those streets and almost eye was thrown away in that place. The bricks inside that building will all decay and fill a hole of great despair The entire city needs to burn to be destroyed to get the edges of the sword Eye cannot believe the sun is still ashining on the Stalingrad's hill. The place of vengeance of the scorpions the place of the passing of my shadow the sight of places eye remember has made me loose has made me useless. Eye remember far too much comeuppances hate has ruled their daytime lives. The city built of MAN will face the Judgment of its GOD and now the sins of this one man have been forgiven him. We only live until we die. No, eye am not proud to be American or proud to have no home eye am not proud of anything that eye have done just glad to be away from that Queer City of the sun. Homesick not. Homeless in America Homeless but eye won.
but though you don't know I betrayed you, down I go abysmally low.
A finger is pointed from you. Three of them curling around pointing write back at you making you frown. Judgement is harder to do than you have the ability to pounce on my noun. My words were meant to display a real function. Perhaps to envoke jealousy even to make you feel better. Not a contest of wills or a joust of mere words. Just wagging the tounge is what MOST of you do. Thoughtless and stupid and hurting words will come true. The Karma is inevitable and crashes and burns. We may have meant well but both of us learned we were wrong. Life is a melody played out like a song. Living is harmony taken from song. The razor edge coming around like this letter. I have always liked the discordant sounds. The sevenths and minor keys play a sad melody. The razor cuts you and then rotates to cut me. The judgements of men not of GOD. Fussing and fighting and jealousy.
Girl Girl I loved the dark haired girl, I loved her with my heart, She made my face to shine, and love did fill my heart. But when she turned and walked away, my heart did fade away. there is no love left inside of me, I'M worthless anyway. Now I know what love was I don't want it anymore, A cup of coffee in the morning and food at night. No lunch for me No fun for me Why Oh Why Worthless Charles Robert Hice Copyright ©2006 Charles Hice Charles Hice
The boy is not the MAN. A boy is different in his youth in his incorrupted ways of youth. The MAN has been absorbed by his lack of time and his dollar signs in place of eyes that he once had like boy. Taking things from boy and filing them into dump away from boy into the final dump. Because he just cant see the heart of boy. It means so much to the boy those stupid rocks? he spent days and months just gathereing those rocks? those rocks that I must just toss away? What was boy thinking. I just cant sell them they will bring to me no whiskey. What has boy done. Pain is real pain no matter if it is real or just imagined.
A cherub child, Akin to a flower bud, Is born crippled, An inscrutable prank of God!
I thought I could change you What a whimsical scheme Already set in your ways What far fetched dream You're still the man You proclaim to hate Why do I even try? I'm tired of this debate I should have never wanted To change the man you were Even when you asked for help I knew there was no cure So failed you I did For an impossible task Make peace with yourself You never should have asked © Stacy Lynn Stiles
The guilty ones escape unscathed, The innocents are relentlessly punished The fools are adorned, The wise are scorned. Oh! Blind Justice, Of Goddess Nemesis!!
That's what she was, what she thought of herself. That: the title—negotiable beauty, looks for sale. She was a work of art, all right. And she was full-service, the whole act. She figured out what you needed and provided it, an engulfing fantasy, a gestalt of lies. What you never got, what no one ever got, was her, the real person, the core creation. After a while she never got that either. Maybe it didn't exist. I only knew what she showed me: the candied apple, the Tunnel of Love, The Wild Mouse, thespunsugarcorndogdietcokediet, the whole nonnutritive unsustainable Emotional Carnival. Did I mention the House of Mirrors? She showed me mes I didn't know I had. She showed me who I could be: A wreck of dependency, jealousy, and lust, spending whatever sacrifice it took for an hour… a look… a mouth. A month. A month to move from a preoccupation with sex to fantasies of violence; from screwing to striking, then confusing the two. Time only ends.
Out of sight ... out of mind That which my eyes cannot see Is just an impression, a replica, a photocopy Filed away in the vast expanse of mnemonic space Drifting through grey matter Losing more of itself along the way The details become blurred Blemishes are erased, rough edges honed All now elicited is the Playboy version Airbrushed and made-up with meticulous abandon You have your Hope Diamond, your Helen of Troy Flawless, timeless, priceless Utterly uncompromising How can one relate this image with its faults? Recalling the imperfections Invokes only negative emotions, unwanted noise, irrationality Feelings never fade Thoughts don't drift away I remember the anger, the depression, the longing I remember the detachment, the disinterest, the rupture I remember all of the immaturity But the veil has been pulled down Negativity belongs behind closed doors I want my utopia, I want my Helen It's naught but intentional ignorance Life is perfect when it's lived inside the mind ... Then reality sets in The world is not set in Black and White It's all grey area, the Yin and the Yang Out of sight ... out of mind I need to see the blemishes, view the inconsistencies The picture needs no more distortion Let me see you in all of your chaotic glory
A piece of my mettle falls Despoiling the papered faces Control lost as another descends Past moments dripping away Thereafter…constant Individual bits of my essence falling Exposed of crystalline fragility Unnoticed and tacit traces Breaking off to wholly decrease Myself…fading Tenure of uncounted moments Deep within my possession Unseen behind dark sunglasses Afraid to reveal the millions of you Jewels…uncut Holding a core of caprice desires The whimsy of you in thoughts Prayers offered within dreams Everyone falling in aging descent Wanting…solace Alas, all my possessions offered To breathe of your sounds again And fill these vacant corridors Instead immersing in old photos Yellowing…stained
I got smashed one night, when I was alone. Mary found out when she came home. She walked a pace and picked up the phone. Wonder how long she will be gone? If I hadn't lied and had that beer, I would still have my Mary here! Copyright McCuen 2008
I know I messed up And I know it's mostly my fault I should've kept my mouth shut And I'm sorry that I... didn't I know it's hard to Forgive something like that Because someone else did the same thing to me And I was in the same position as you But I figured It's partially my fault Because I led her to believe She'd make a good couple With someone else besides me I'm asking you To please forgive me You don't have to talk to me But please let me know If you are still Mad at me It's only been a few hours Yet it seems like so many years Since I made you mad And it is hurting me I can't keep pretending To be happy forever Because little by little. everyday I lose a part of myself But I figured It's partially my fault Because I led her to believe She'd make a good couple With someone else besides me I'm asking you To please forgive me You don't have to talk to me But please let me know If you are still Mad at me
Between The Rain Drops Eye walked between the raindrops to learn how to stay dry My body works much better when eye fly on angels wings between the rain and hurry to be dry at home a layer of something hasty pulled between the me and between the storm and as eye lay inside my dry eye pray and cry for eye have no home the rain falls off around my dry as eye walk between the rain drops of the storm
I felt the symptoms starting There was nothing I could do Other than up my dosage some Instead of ingesting one, taking two That didn't seem to matter I felt the rage beginning to mount The irritating aura surrounding me My control I must take into account Raged and manically inhabited Trying feverishly to maintain control I lost it as fast as I wished it Anger completely solely on patrol Crying isn't going to help me Nor are my silent pleas out of mouth Severe repercussions of my actions Regret and sorrow leading me south As far south as my feet can take me Escaping this cruel mental shame Leading me to another side of darkness A place where no one will remember my name © Stacy Lynn Stiles
Everyone makes mistakes We all fall short of His grace I don't believe yours are unintentional Too much hatred is written all over your face What did I do to deserve this? I should be able to trust you with my life Even with all of your "coincidental accidents" I don't feel the adornment of being your wife "I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that" "I was merely pushing it out of my way" "I didn't think it would graze you" "And leave the marks I see displayed" "I'm sorry it was simply an accident" "An uncontrollable reflex not to be alarmed" "I'm sorry if it actually made contact" "My intent was never to cause you physical harm" "Accidents do happen each and every day" "I won't take responsibility for unintentional act" "Again, it was merely an accident" "Your timing always seems to be exact" © Stacy Lynn Stiles
Round and round circling about the flickering flame, heedless of the danger till your wings got caught by the treacherous fire; you knew not what hit you as you plummeted down, dead. Poor little one, you were a victim of your own folly, too late learning that not all that glitter bestow life.
My wounds have healed From the inside out. Though the pain Has waned away, Scars remain As visible memories.
The things you wish, wish you had done The people you have met, the things you said Such regret This hurt caused, inflicted on others, your family, your brothers The things you wish Wish you had done You beseech, for now.......... they are out of reach Such regret, you had today Your mindset, what did you say? This lump deep down Hard yet brittle Never goes away, keeps that frown The things you say These actions lost, friends and family gone To what cost? Your regret put upon The things you wish Wish you had said Wish you had done Such pain Such dread Your regret , put upon The things you wish, have now gone Correct the damge done Don't reach for the gun This regret..put upon The things you wish ....to say sorry For, there is still time, to establish, to stop this crime Your mindset This regret The things you wish The things you need to forgive This regret Stop this mindset For,....You must live
dear you, i've killed a soul, gone against my own belief- [what you haven't created you cannot destroy] now i'm stuck on the edge of a cliff wondering which way is up. [i've tripped in the sky, i'm choking on clouds] give me directions, you, i want to go back, want a place to go back to. [home sweet home] the voice i hear drones on & on, apparently i'm too far gone? [stay silent, the answer goes without saying]
I was there to receive and take all your lies I was there whenever you couldn't cry I stood tall to all the anger you had inside I was the silent puppet that you held so high I held you close until this love I despised I got used up and thrown out to a side I bottled up everything and I cried I know too well what happens if I make you realise If I had an easy way to make you look at my eyes The key to my soul is the key to your lies I'd strike you down with one look as you sigh I'd show you the window and make you look at the time Over thinking until I reach red seamless skies Over powering all emotions in my Self excusing, stupid, selfish suicide But don't worry, you'll understand when I die Balancing out all this hatred inside Am I giving in or have I already died? A life spent infused with nothing but screaming and cries Feeling sorry for myself can only bring it to life Balancing out all that's left here inside I gave in at birth and have already died A life spent screaming until I can no longer cry Feeling sorry for myself is now too boring to try