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These Death Suicide poems are examples of Death poems about Suicide. These are the best examples of Death Suicide poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
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I'm not the person you think you see 'Cause I've got demons inside of me I may have a smile on my lips But I have cuts on my wrists and hips You see I'm damaged, fractured, and broke I'm surprised I still have hope No one loves a broken girl Especially not in this big bad world, I'm too far gone and you can't save me now So I will just keep falling down, down, down Into the depths of my own demise But it's nothing new, not a surprise, These demons here hate me so Sometimes I think I should just go 'Cause I welcome death with open arms Death looks nice, it has so much charm, Nobody here loves me anymore And life is such a dastardly chore They want me gone, I can tell so much And someone told me to never trust So now I know everyone lies This is what many people need to realize, But people will always trust 'Til that trust turns to dust And take a shot in the dark Until they are torn apart, And now maybe you see Why I have demons haunting me But if you do not Then you don't know the battles I've fought And don't judge me at all Because I will just continue to fall
I don't want to die, But my mind feels old; My body is so tired And my heart grows cold; Hands itch to slice-- Just the skin--just the skin, Blood flows out as the pain seeps in. They wanna give me pills To treat a pain they haven't seen; They try to cure the symptoms Without knowing what it means, To pick apart my brain Without dirtying their hands, While I drown in a sorrow That I can't understand, While unhelpful friends throw Such unhelpful advice: "Stop feeling sad!" "Think of things that are nice!" Meanwhile I wish for an end to the pain. I don't need any pills-- Just send me a train.
Spin off Happy Days Na-Nu Na-Nu Shaz-Bot man Planet Ork Mork fly! © PoeTTreeZ Publishing
Don't ask me to apologize for being the monster inside I refuse to set any agony i have aside Don't ask me to torch out the fuse i have growing There is so much torment behind this face without anyone knowing Don't ask me to unmask this demon i enshrine deep in the dark It fuels my spirit, whats left of me creating a tiny spark Don't ask me to let go of the past All the exploitation has been passed Don't ask me to neglect the flashbacks you put into my head So many wounds on my arms from the times you made me bled Don't ask me to excuse all the sin you created Cause my heart is buried distant enough it has to be gated Don't ask me to uncoil and live a little For how many times you beat me till my bones became brittle Don't ask me to not dread all of this I'd have to count the times of deaths i'd nearly miss You've made me the monster now don't ask me to apologize
Many people have no clue Of the hell I go through If they only knew The pain and agony, too Why do I say depression kills, age 14, Twenty times I have tried with pills Wished I was dead at times still My brother was depressed, too Going to counseling he needed to do Guilt I feel because I knew Should of been the one to help, too Thirty-two years it tortured my mind Peace I can never mind It sometimes puts me in a bind Can't relax and unwind Many times the teardrops fall Get angry and wanna hit the wall The pain within, no longer can bear Living with depression isn't fair At my heart, it really tears Unless you have depression, Please don't say you understand, too Because you really have no clue 8/21/14
The Gate As night begins to fall, she sits quietly at the gate. Her ambitions are high, but it is up to fate. For he's not the only one, that death will endure. She waits like a stone, she wants to be sure. She cries out to God, believing not, that He is there. She debates once again, that this life is, or not fair. The wind seeps through her, as if she were a window. The gun at her head, awaiting the hard blow. Her love went away, without making a sound. He's buried beyond the gate, six feet underground. She longs for his arms to wrap around her tight. It won't be long now, she will be with him tonight. As she counts to three her hand starts to quiver. She pulls the trigger slightly, as she feels a slight shiver. She is now ready, to commit this horrible sin. Someone will find her in the morning, and open the gate to put her in. She will be wearing a white dress, like she did on their wedding day. There will be no more sadness, like when the cancer took him away. There was a loud explosion, her body, now limp on the ground. Her spirit rose out of her, escaping to where it was bound. She opened her eyes, and then began to scream. There was nothing but darkness, it had to be a dream. She searched around blindly, then she heard a loud voice. It asked, "Why did you do this?" She replied, that she had no choice. She heard her name being called, and went to find the source. She was startled when she found him, he sat laughing without remorse. He then welcomed her in, as she entered this empty space. She heard voices screaming in agony, a puzzled look upon her face. She knew something was wrong, and began to run away. But there was nowhere to go, this is where she would stay. She then prayed to God, with everything that she had. He replied, "I am sorry," He sounded disappointed and mad. He explained to her, His decision, why this was the only choice He had. He disappeared quietly into the distance, leaving her to remember what she had. She looked up to find her husband, waiting patiently by an unopened door. She begins to run in his direction, wanting to be with him so much more. He blows her a kiss slowly, across the air it fell. Leaving her feeling shameful, feeling that she deserved this Hell. Thinking that she should have waited, but knowing now that it was too late. Oh how she wishes to go back, where she sat waiting patiently by the gate. 11-07-10
Water trickles on her wrists Wiping away the blood Wiping away the pain caused by so many others The voices in her head are screaming for her to kill herself Telling her to forget about the small amount of hope she still holds on to For that hope is the only thing keeping her alive She feels as if everyone around her don't see her They see her as broken, something that can't be fixed But everything can be fixed it may not be perfect But it still holds value In this case the value of a person's life Someone who didn't deserve the way she was made to feel She had people tell her 'I hope you die in your sleep' Or people saying she was better off in a coffin These words she started to believe so after so many years of hoping she gave up She gave in to the voices in her head That night she went in to her father's study and took out his handgun She held it to her head and with tears streaming down her face she pulled the trigger Her parents woke in a fright and ran to the study To find her limp, cold body lying on the floor, hoping that what they saw wasn't real That there baby girl wasn't gone They blamed themselves for not seeing how much pain she was in For not noticing her when it mattered.
Today is the day I have chosen to die,on the wings of an ANGEL I will fly high I feel I could have been better while I was here, but on the wings of an ANGEL,I will have no fear. All my life I had to put up a fight,but on the wings of an ANGEL I will be alright. Things may have been better if id'e taken time to pray,now I am on the wings of an ANGEL and I am going to be ok. Please LORD watch over my loved one's. Colleen Marie Bono
I have lost the will to change Taking the path that leads to nowhere The darkness is taking over something i cannot repair If it is to be broken Drowning in the sorrow I cannot give in Take the fall and run to the heavens Im never going to bow Im never going to break I will not fall I will not fade I was made to take your breathe away Whenever my hope is lost Thats my chance to run for cover Light the fuse and burn it up I dont want to change the world I just want to make it colder Watching the end With our dying eyes Tell me where forever lies
I cut to see if I feel how it's like being human, I cut to see the pain relinquish inside, I cut for all the memories that remain to drain down in the sewage What symbols life runs with death in that rusty pipe. A slash here and a slash there, What happened in the past? A slash here and there, Soon the memories don't last. Scissors, knives, razors and sharp edges keeps a bloody smile, no more weep. Slice and dice, trim more than the hedges And I don't care if I go to deep. One scar closer to a never ending dream, I don't care if I go to deep.
I fall down deeper and deeper into oblivion nothing only darkness. the sounds of evil dripping into my ears slithering farther and sliding down into me filling me with echoes. terror courses through my veins into each cell turning them against me they are no longer mine they follow another a stronger being. icy breezes come they whisper to me they say I'm bad they call me to them the breezes dance hug me covering me hiding me from the light shielding me from hope. falling deeper only down my eyes are taunted I see people the ones I know love they are hurt hurting by me I have betrayed them left them I am hurting them it is me but I can't stop. my mind is plagued sick new thoughts every second comes a new terror a cruel joke all a prank. only deeper do I fall light is disappearing becoming dimmer fading fast. all a game for one person the puppeteer the ringmaster the man in the mask the one who is running the show the show that is me. he sees me falling he laughs I can't see him but he is there everywhere teasing my brain taunting my senses he hates me he wants to hurt me. he throws it the knife I feel the pain running up my leg showing my bones releasing my blood it is blue my blood is cold it splatters my face sprinkling my features dotting them with blue the blue liquid drips jumping onto my tongue I taste dirt my blood is dirt blue is all I see blue is all I become I am blue blue is me. a distant shout who is it? a cry for help surely the sound is mangled twisted young desperate hopeless mine the sound is mine I shut my mouth but I still hear it chilling my blue blood ringing in my ears shaking my breathing jump-starting my heart then it's over the scream has ceased and silence returns sounding more deadly than ever before. still falling only black do I see the evil the monsters' playground the demons' joyride and someone is hungry it wants me my innocence my purity it wants to take it it feeds on people people like me. weightlessness objects hitting me ghosts' fingers prodding me as I fall I fall down down into this never-ending hole this abyss for eternity restless empty yet full filled with misery my worst fears come back how did he know? he knows I'm afraid the darkness doesn't help me see I can't see why how does he do this? they cut me again spilling my blood oh, the blue I don't even feel it I am numb the sound of me my skin being sliced a quick slashing and they are done I am cut my legs my arms my stomach my face my neck I can't see my blood but I can see how evil it must look. the thoughts that fell fell down with me they too are damned they talk to me they tell me what they see they can see blue yes blue my cold blood it is everywhere I am pale white I look sick they say oh, no they say oh, no they see the bottom be ready they say be ready. I fall faster still slowing for nothing for no one being pulled down the puppeteer has me he's got my string and he's pulling with no sign of letting go. now I hear a song they all sing it the notes are cruel unforgiving they bump into the others struggling to be heard with no set order it is musical chaos he yells to me it is beautiful and he sings along to his song it's made for me musical notes are played they come up to me they greet me they jump right into my cuts surging into my blood they search inside me no mercy moving faster the drum keeping them steady pounds faster picking up tempo searching searching until they found it they found my heart my soul the music does the talking it says to hush hush now slow down my heart listens and I get sleepy just stop they say just stop the music is evil played by the man the man in the mask my brains sends a message one final request it says to my heart speed up it says speed up, can't you see? she is dying it says you must speed up! I still fall with no way up letting go of hope why dream? dreaming of being saved when I already know I'll only be dropped. I smell something burnt burning oh, no I know what that smell it is flesh not mine surely but belongs to someone else someone close they too they smell of dirt sinners burning dead they are nothing to me they are the stench in my nose nothing more the smell overcomes all all the other senses until it becomes me and I burn too. even in the dark the black I see something darker blacker than black they are shadows they mock me they play they sing they dance they laugh I fill with evil hatred a longing to hurt hurt the ones behind it all then without warning I hear him laughing my pain is his pleasure oh so dark it's over I'm at the bottom laying on the cold ground in a small ball too weak to stand in a pool of dark blue blood I hold myself tight I can't trust these creatures these beasts. he likes my weakness he tells me I am small I am ugly I am worthless I am nothing he laughs when I cry I thought that maybe just maybe it would be better down here instead of up there. it's not. hell is not a game. death is not an easy way out. do not try to visit me. do not try to rescue me. for I am more lost than I hope you will ever be. now that I am at my fate at the entrance to hell at the bottom of this grave of my eternity and if I am truly here forever, I'll have plenty of time to ask myself why did I jump?
Do you see my wrists? They cry blood when I do this; Push the blade deeper.
her life is on the tip of his tongue the sparkle leaves her eyes an arrow to his chest drawing her to her death a feather falling from the sky the death of an angel her wings turn blood red like the color of the red sea the sword drawn out of the ground by her own hands what he could not do himself she has done for him He falls unto to his knees the arrow she had put into his chest the greatest of betrayals She asked for her death wish Holding the ring in her palm He looks into her eyes watching the love she had left for him disappear Falling into despair Her face hitting the ground Blood surrounded her body He watched as she died He couldn't move from the love that had pierced his chest
Life's Hard It's filled with pain And misery My mind is stained Stained with every memory Sometimes I think today will be my last day This place causes me so much pain I wish I didn't have to stay Some days are worse than others I'm starving Dying for food I'd do anything To many things go through my head Will I be able to keep down my next meal? Will I live for tomorrow? Is this terrifying place even real? I feel so alone Yet I'm surrounded by people But this place could not be called a home There's no life in these places Or in these faces Everyone looks dead As so do I Most of us haven't been fed My eyes have been marked With these dead bodies that lay upon the ground Without a soul I still look at them Soon I may be found As one of them
I see the pain in your eyes The fear in your voice I know because I've been in your place It's not your choice I'm sorry I would hate for anyone to feel this way Please don't leave this world Just try and stay This isn't the only way to go At least don't leave without a fight Just know You were never alone You had me right by your side Even when you never wanted me around I promise to you I never told a lie I was always honest and true Towards you You don't have to end your life I've tried to many times its not worth it Please put down that knife I mean it Stay with me Fight this battle with me by your side You always had me don't you see I was always nice to you Even when you where terrible to me I fought threw it and you can too You're just a little seed Waiting to grow into something beautiful
Angel of Death, Cloaked in black. With black scaled wings, Upon her back. Angel of Death, Coming for me. As soon as I sleep Then dead I will be. Taken by the night It swallows and consumes me. Now I am the angel And death becomes me. 2003-2004 7th Grade
Bang, there goes another. Another life, another meaning, Gone. Gone like the rain in the desert Never to return. It's the sad truth that our children Our teenagers Cannot live in harmony together on our Earth. We turn to the isolation. To the pain. To the self-hatred and the bitterness. But what do we gain? Our lives are not statistics. We do not deserve this belittling We do not deserve this treatment. And yet we still take it all in stride. We fall and we fall but it never seems to end. And so we take everyone down with us in the long run. When will we learn to grab hold, and stop this incessant falling, this constant drowning in our thoughts, in the shouting words of others? Bang, there goes another. A lost purpose, a lonely child. Never to see themselves better than the ugly words of others ever again.
It's not suicide, it's falling. Falling hopelessly, helplessly into that dark place. The one you've covered up for so long. The one that is hidden behind your smiles and laughs and rehearsed joy. For so long you've waited, everyday only getting closer and closer to the edge. You cut and bleed, hurting yourself because somehow, someway it helps with the pain. When things are good, they're bad. When things are bad, they're horrible. The pain of day to day life can be only so tolerated. 'Till that day when the cutting, poking, prodding, and bleeding doesn't help anymore. And you finally fall. You slip so effortlessly into that dark hole, where there's no room for light. Nothing but the final escape from that bitter pain. Freedom. As it gets darker and darker, you can see the light. Not a light of something better, but a light that it's all over. It's like a continuous rabbit hole, never ending. Until you hit the bottom and you're gone. It's not suicide, it's falling.
Poetry; Silence; Who wants violence? Dark dreams; Evil screams, Hold on strong, The fight is nearly gone, Fighting to breathe, Fighting to see, It's hard to believe this is me, I never saw myself falling to the blade, But in the end this is how I'm paid, Suffering from tears, Torn from fears, All I know is that, I'm not sure why I'm here, Told to live, But living a lie, Stuck in a place where everyone wants me to die, Hurt and confused, Broken and bruised, Not sure what to do, But i Will fight till I can't move, This is what I must do,
Red angry lines cut against My white pale skin A contrast to the perfect A flaw in the flawless So imperfectly perfect Others- they don't understand How beauty prevails in such a thing They don't understand how amazing The pain can be It's a portal to another world A world free of torment and trouble One where freaks like us can survive It's the escape Escape is what we want What we need We crave it as a baby craves it's sleep We are the cattle in a slaughter house The prisoners on death row We are the freaks they hate upon The imperfections that never fade We are us But us is never good enough Not for them
Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega
DEVIL'S HIDDEN RANCH Coyote howl, dogs growl Gunshots, dead cow Red barn left unlock Horse shoe upon death's door Tequila in a cup Salt of cocaine, shadows of insanity Guitar string, sad song Bandit near the door, wife on the floor Hallucinating---Reality Yelling out her name, he's gone insane Loaded gun, life is done Far and near ending his intoxicating fear The road under the sun A coward in his path Responding to the Devil's wrath In a Hidden Ranch in Mexico!!!!!! :) SKAT
There was a boy I used to know. He never let his feelings show. Turns out he wanted suicide. When he died, I cried. Why did he have to go? Was that why he never let his feelings show? He hung himself like a criminal. That's not what he was like at all. He still had time to grow. Maybe he should've let his feelings show. There was a boy I used to know.
Doubting the fire in your heart Firewater to wash the tears Laughter hides the rain Witty lines to overshadow the silence and the pain Missing Doubts, fired from life's strains Acting roles, never I me The Big screen, keeping you all over there As I play my own role, hardly can I bare Enveloped in sadness No letter inside empty walls Fulfilled now, the dead poet The comedic tragedy Hanging up side down Too tired, I retire To the society yonder
To capture the attention everyone else gets but you You do whatever you can to get it Even if its bad You continue to do it To get the attention you never had And the attention you will never get You want the perfect body and soul that everyone else has You want to feel important... special So you seek for a better Much higher thing What you need You dont quite know But you decide that You will do whatever it takes to make you happy And sometimes That means.. suicide Sometimes it means Shooting someone Because the hole inside your heart needs filled And thats the only thing you ever had The only thing you see The only thing that someone gave to you The thing that got everyone talking about you The thing that got everyone to even look at you So if you decide to kill someone You kill yourself afterwards Because you felt lonely again You felt that no one was watching you That no one even cared Then you think about all the things that Bugged you And you pull the trigger Then theres no more you Next time someone sees you You will be on the news Where now you are special And important
I'm dying and I'm angry because it isn't fair, and with my family, friends and loved ones this news I will not share. It's hell for me to be going through all of this alone, but that is the cross I must bare. It's my last gesture to show all of them how much I loved them and truly cared. The last thing that I want is to be the cause of any of their despair. If I told any of them that I was dying, it would only serve to depress all of them, and so my limited time left with them, for all of them, never to them will be known. When I do feel that my time is drawing near I'll announce a trip I'll be going on. I'm a wilderness survivor enthusiasts. I've been known to venture deep into and live in very remote wilderness. so one day I'm going to announce to them that I'm going on another little trip. I'll leave unknown to they what will be my following final statement. "If I do not return, please do not notify any authorities. Please do not send out any search and rescue parties. If I do not return it does not mean that I've suffered any life threatening injuries. Most likely it means that I've made a choice to continue living there and never leave, living my life naturally and in solitary with all of nature surrounding me. That's the way I've always pictured my retirement to be. Inevitably I will one day die in the wilderness, but likely in my sleep peacefully, but for all of you I will never die, at least never officially, and you'll assume that I'm still living my life the way I always wanted it to be, in solitude far away from any so called civilized society. I'll miss everyone of you very dearly, but I'll be living my life in a manner that will truly make me happy, and isn't that the way retirement is supposed to be?" I'll embrace them all and share with them how much I hold all of them so dear, and then I'll venture off into the wilderness, never again to reappear, and should it ever look as if I won't die after all peacefully in my sleep I've brought along a little extra insurance with me. If the pain gets over bearing or if I get too weak to successfully forage and gather enough to eat. If malnutrition is getting the best of me, I'll swallow a half dozen tranquilizers which will render me unconscious shortly, so it's very important after taking them to stay active on my feet until I begin to feel the effects of the meds affecting me. Only then will I lie down comfortably and slip a plastic bag over my head snugly secured with a rubber band around my neck for extra security. Within seconds I'll be deeply unconscious and asleep and I won't even be aware of any discomfort as my carbon dioxide I breath. and then slowly, humanly and most peacefully my final exit will arrive and death will take me. Animals will scavenge upon the remains of my body, providing them with much needed nutrition for them to eat. The rest will decompose and bring nutrition to the soil which will provide seeds with nourishment enabling new life to unfold. I will then be for all eternity where I most would ever want to be, among nature's wildlife and forests of fresh streams and lush trees.
A long list of names with not a friend among them Is it just of book of hidden faces Forgotten faces? Not a single word I've ever said was written with truth And here's the proof When there's tears streaming down my face Stuck in place Is a smile that is a lie When every time I look around I want to die No friendly faces, in the brightest of places And I can't make a sound Is this life or is it just a dark hell How is one to live without living Feeling lonely Lost in a sea of sound The darkness inside me Is seeping through my heart and making me lose my self control Turn the shower up higher so they don't hear me cry It's all I can do, just living a lie The friends I thought I had left when I was reaching my lowest Now as I sink below the surface The sun is the dimmest of lights Scratching at my sides Not ready to go back to the blade So long gone, I've reached the breaking point but I'm afraid to let go
You told me you wouldn't leave You promised you would stay But now because of her You're considerably far away You reassured me that you loved me That you'd always be by my side But once she pledged her loyalty You left and so I cried Without you I felt lonely Unable to move on I knew that life would get easier 'Cause it's darker before dawn I tried so hard, I really did To forget how you betrayed me So many years of marriage And to think how you repaid me What does she have that I don't? Did I ever do something wrong? It feels like it's been forever Since the last time I felt strong You left me in the dust So cold and hard like stone In all the years I spent with you I never thought I'd be alone I remember walking down the street When our hands were intertwined I remember the time of innocence When I was so sure that you were mine Your fingers entangled in my hair Your kisses upon my cheek Your soft breath upon my freckled face That made my knees feel weak You said that I'd recover I just can't help but see You caressing her tender face While I'm wishing it were still me I feel the life drain out of me Just as when you did leave But I smile to myself as I go Because it's you who'll get to grieve As much as I am filled with hate It pains me to see you cry I wish you'd realized you still loved me Before you saw me die
Take me to the countryside where all the daffodils grow fresh perfume saturating the air dispersing sensational aroma in the atmosphere. Take me to the countryside to inhale the balmy fragrance of mother earth, to walk on grassy lands and hold each other hands. Take me to the countryside to gaze at the swaying trees, and listen to them humming breathlessly in the chilly breeze. enchanting birds singing in the gusty afternoon, dancing vigorously to their melodious tune. Take me to the countryside where all the natural things grow, tangerine, oranges , banana and kiwi fruit. homemade yogurt ,sweet yam and fresh milk from grandpa's lamb. Take me to the countryside to coalesce with earthy peasants, to run up and down the cornfield and waddle through onion beds. Soak me in nature, and replenish my aching soul purge my agonizing wound, and distill my sorrowful tune. My soul yearns for spiritual fulfillment to drown the chaos from the external environment, mineral water and running streams, strumming guitars and melodious flutes are singing harmoniously, and whispering the truth. lead me to a place of comfort, a place where I can breathe, a place of beauty and incomparable dreams. Take me to the countryside to mingle with the animals, to go horseback riding, and camp on the mountain top. Take me away from this hopelessness, to a place of peace and quietness. Take me away from this desolation and find away to solve this confusion. I want to be free, free from this burden and misery, so take me with you before you leave. When I close my eyes and count to three at the sound of the whistle I charge you to set me free. ©2013 Christine Phillips
The signs started in December When she started waking up in tears each night She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing Her father. Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain She wouldn't let them. She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left Because what else was there to live for now? The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left She wouldn't let them drown in pain too. She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms Their hearts started to lighten up once more But hers was just as dark as it was before And growing darker day by day But she wouldn't let that stop her. Suddenly a year had passed... and then two It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care But she needed someone to hold on to Anyone... With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries It found a way into her soul Until all she could see was dark and no light But her mother and sister were healed now They didn't understand The tears came back and engulfed her soul Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive The grief took over like knives Piercing her skin over and over and over It hurt so much. She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead She could see him again if she was Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain? Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again? It would. So she started to hate herself All that negative energy was starting to take toll Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself She couldn't see any light anymore So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper She was done living. That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed They started to see how deeply depressed she had become They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better It was a start. She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore They cared, and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand They really were trying Six months longer she would be treated and cared for Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face She had a new perspective Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember She had been reborn Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it To come back shining brighter than before And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it Or known that it would get better and it did! And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be But at least she knows she's lived through the worst And it can only get better from here So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?
My love I can not find you anywhere, I feel like I lost my soul somewhere, because you are my soulmate, and us being apart can not be fate. You did not leave because you wanted to, It just was just something you had to do. I was not right, All I wanted to do was fight, and knowing you was the love of my life, yet I would not make you my wife. I know that's what you really wanted and now I am feeling haunted, by the things I should have done, and you being the only one I ever loved and will love forever, if it was'nt for me we will still be together. But you are gone and I can not go on, so I must say good-bye, I'm leaving myself to die.
She's holding in her hand The only thing she can feel Growing so weak she can barely stand She chooses instead to kneel To a forgotten God she prays This pain is more than I can bear Have mercy; please take the rest of my days To the mirror, she turns to stare Into eyes more than half dead A girl without hope There was no one to take the pain in her stead No one to help her cope As she makes the final cut The blood drips on the floor Her eyes forever shut As she journeys to Heaven's door
I spied a bumble bee Flying confident and keen She desired for all to see She fancied herself the queen This bumble bee was free To fly where she pleased She set her sights on me Her sting knocked me to my knees The bumble bee had done Exactly what she desired So sure that she had won Until the moment she expired So be careful where you fly Evaluate your intent It's not a win if you die Hear this bee's dying lament Contest: Impress me with a small poem II (Winner.. 2nd place) MOTIF: Philosophical Sponsor: Giorgio A. V.
In high school everything changes Teachers, friends, you, "That's just life" they say, And they never stop to ask "Well, how do you feel?" And your friends leave, and your grades decrease, And your teachers begin to worry, And they make you see a shrink, But they never stop to ask, "Well, how do you feel?" The sky starts to crumble, And the tears begin to fall, And music and hoodies become your best friends, And they never stop to ask, "Well, how do you feel?" And the tools come out. And the objects fall apart, And you reach for the closest one, And the ask, finally, "Well, how do you feel?" But by now it's too late. Your time is up, your blood's run out, Your scars show for the world to see, Cause they asked too late, "Well, how do you feel?" "She was so young" they all say, But really you were old. You'd seen so much and hurt so much, It was time for you to go. So you picked up the pills and washed them down And grabbed the blades and cut And when they finally noticed you weren't around It was too late you were gone. They found your letter on the bed And read it out at school "You asked to late, but I don't blame you." And your friends were moved to tears. In your tree house in the yard They found you pale as snow Your eyes closed, a smile on your face And they realized you were gone. They roll up your sleeves and roll up your pants And scream at what they see Lines, and lines, and lines of cuts Some healed and some not. And they realized they should have asked in the beginning How you felt that is, cause, Honestly you didn't, You didn't feel anything at all.
They are bound to the Earth like trees Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen Hoping that one day someone will see: They can't escape with lacerated wings The ocean surrounds me, covering everything Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find I can't escape with lacerated wings. Swarms of nets, waves of screams Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams The mask has be seared - The truth now they see The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings There's reasons for your rejections: Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression The scars are too deep to pass the trials But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings
Life was hard and he had lost all that mattered first his mother who was murdered on her way home. He watched his Dad unable to cope with her loss fade away to skin and bones a relief when he passed on. His wife walked out on him with their three children leaving him with a pile of debts and a broken heart. He lost his job for too much time off with no reference and soon he would lose his house to the bank and divorce. Now the final straw he was terminally ill and in pain constant debilitating pain that sapped away his strength. Lining up the bottles he poured out a healthy sized drink and placed the pills ready in rows, with six in each pile. Putting on a selection of his favourite bands he hunkered down, settling himself as comfortably as possible this last thing in his own hands, he got to chose. Not the illness he would beat that by his own choice, for him death no longer held any fear. Sipping, swallowing he washed down the pills until none remained. After all enough was enough and he had nothing left to lose. As he drifted off he dreamed of better times now past and gone Soon he was walking in pleasant green pastures, ahead he could see. His parents waiting with smiles on their faces and open arms a vivid bright light that burned his eyes and yet welcomed. He walked through the veil with eager steps to perfect peace leaving behind without any regrets, the empty husk of his body.
She leans over her grave and weeps, the trees beneath the barren hills bow their heads, as the raving winds bellow through the arcade of bushes around her head. Tick tack ick tack tick ick the trees join quietly in the ceremony. Tears streams down her lean drag face, flooding the pillow under her grave. In silence she undresses the misery of her past. imprisoned, bewitched, beaten, separated, riddled with puzzles, laden with mysteries each segment opposed. The writhing lasted two hours, blades, penetrates her head, spilling blood all over her bed. Frenetic screams climbs the hills, whipping the wind into a raging storm through the room. She rips the pillow beneath her head, smashing the radiant mirror across the bed. Beyond, there was no answer. Her moaning increased, but her pains did not cease. She falls asleep directly on her grave, with the weeping knife protruding from her chest. ©2013 Christine Phillips
it's October the air around her is cool like her thoughts these days she looks at the branches, twisted much like her mind they are reaching upward but she is grounded forever in time she heard the clatter of branches smacking against walls and the crash of metal screeching brakes screams of pain and then nothing but silence falls she runs to the window sees the audience stare at her then through her riches to rags gold to nothing her fame is gone the trees below are turning from gold to red the leaves tossed about in a slight wind they spin so graceful as in dance a slow spiral down and she longs to join in she reaches towards them tastes the cool air as she falls down grounded with the leaves the pavement turns red as silence falls in October's air The suicide of Dorothy Hale October 21, 1938 (painting by Frida Kahlo)
Alas there is no more confusion, finally found my last conclusion. Expect me as if Jesus will return, from a ghost to a realm of concern. Your dreams are portals like doors, welcoming spirits into hasten wars. Leaving the thoughts without trust, keeping your fears in much disgust. And though you sought no consequence, deeds that confirm a wicked malevolence. Awaiting in your nightmare of screams, enjoy what is left amongst your dreams.
Look upon city once known by name, ruins that I called home, streets swallowed by flame, in time alive shell not witness less of what should you understand, reach on to hand of a stranger, scroll remain; in signs that might be changing welcome, different of a man. When dawn awakes and there is no light, upon dusk of man darkness will be spread by sight, in time not different change will arise, life we thought you knew, death would recognize. Hearts will bound to King without a Crown, why do mothers shed tears, echo rooted in the ground, is there reason of a foolish wars, contracts written in blood, new born babies died breathless, can't even appreciate the Sun, don't deserve to live, not worth of the land, existence will be scattered in ashes, you will be remembered by name.
In the attic, above wooden floor, through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door, near the broken window and glass of the sore, hiding in the shadows, bloodstains on the wall. Number nine, house at the end of the street, where lights are low, where silent never sleep.
You were taken to soon. Ripped away from us. You knew it was our final goodbye. But the truth was hidden. With a tear in your eye, There was one last goodnight hug. I wiped away the tear, Then smiled and walked away. By the time of the morning light It was already too late. You were gone and to a better place. Never knew of your acknowledged your pain. Of your suffering Sometimes I wonder, "If I only cared more Would you still be here? If I only hurt less, Would you still be here?" I'd deny it if I could. But inside we both know, I am the reason You went away.
Death wraps around her Like a tarnished ring on a finger She takes one last breath In which alcohol lingers The pills went down Too soon after The only thing she'll miss Is his sweet laughter The blade is in her hand For the cuts on her wrist Doesn't bother putting on a band aid It will all be over quick She has a smile on her face As she lays back and cries She has her notes Now she's saying a sweet good bye Her angel in the ground matches The statue now above her head "Never let them take the light behind your eyes" Was the last thing she had said Friends gathered to talk about the girl they use to know How she was too young Still had room to grow Dear, I wish you knew How we miss you terribly I think of you every night And I still talk of you,sweetly
All these tears that you can see, From what you have been doing to me . The crying out in the middle of the night , Of my thoughts of you that just aren't right . Despair and sadness I feel each day, Just can't seem to make them go way. I wonder why I live with so much strife, What will it be that will change my life. My dreams of all that once was good, Everything back then I easily understood. So much sadness and endless misery. I guess that is all that is left for me . Comptiplating my only way out, Would be so wrong no doubt. If it's the only way for me to be free, Then that would have be the only way for me . Sorry if you just can't understand , Exactly what has happened to this man. Once I was so proud to be alive, Now I only wish that I would die, If you carried the pain that I do , I'm sure this path would be the same for you. TAC
Sitting on the edge of the bridge Holding unto that bottle of beer The same beer that he drank The night he killed those people Flashback in his brain Gripping unto the bottle nearly breaking it hes sitting behind the wheel Picks up the beer bottle Takes another sip He sees the car But gently closes his eyes The women slams on her breaks Her son in the back seat The cars crash Her car rolls down the hill His car slamming into The side of bridge gates The gates holding him steady He gently steps out of his car Seeing the smoke A gray car laying in the river Below the bridge hes standing on He runs down there Running through the water the top of the car barely noticable He helps the young women out Not knowing about the little boy In the back seat She yells "my son... my son" She points to the vehicle She takes her last breathe Lays there helplessly The man drags the little boy out of the car A scratch on his forhead Not breathing at all The man cries Trying to wake the kid up Knowing they are both up in heaven He vanishes Several years later He sits on the bridge Holding the bottle Has a child of his own A wife of his own Waiting at home for him His son an hour before Wanted to walk to the bridge With him But the man just said no The young boy just stayed home His father never came back They found him Floating in the same river The women and her son were in ~Dedicated to Tommy~
It was a home on the river we lived . It was the ghost of a young man whom had taken his own life. I still remember the vision of him walking by me with a blank stare We, as a Family of seven , moved into this river house Panoramic views right out to the river , I should mention I was home alone as a child , looking out at "The Julia Belle Swan " as she went by . Upstairs in that room as I saw a figure walking by , with very nice features , auburn hair I thought he was my older brother , a handsome young guy Then I realized the young man was not my brother , a apparition he appeared . He was not there to scare or frighten , the message I believe he wanted to shed light on, so clear. He walked right by ,then disappeared through the window, out to the River . The Ghost knew I could see him , a gift I have been given when I was a younger child of five , I had once died for a short time. I was lifted by Jesus in Heaven . Death is not for us to decide . Later in the years we moved from that home , every home we lived in had a story or a presence of its own . My Mother had told me later , a young man took his life there . Keep fighting your way through life and its despair , you are important to someone whom cares . If you feel alone and want life to end , Please pick up the phone , call anyone , call for help , call a Friend . "This is not fiction , it truly is a gift I have been given "
If i were to tell you that my heart is gray What would you do to make it red again? If i were to say that i dont miss you Would you understand my pain? If i were to show you how much you mean Would you notice that my heart stopped beating? If i were to picture things in my mind to be perfect What would you do to tell me things wont ever be the same? If you were to tell me your heart was gray I would give you mine in place of yours If you were to say that you dont miss me I would understand your pain If you were to show me how much i mean I would notice that your heart stopped beating If you were to picture things in your mind to be perfect I Would tell you that they are, your just ignoring it I would tell you how big of a part you are in my life I would say to you that you are my hero I would show you my scars and heal your wounds I would picture us in a place that does not harm love If you could see the hole in my heart Would you bother to fix it Or would you let it fall apart?
You are a monster, a devil, a curse Where you go crowds disperse Death and disability, you gift to society Cities littered with corpses in variety You blow your own body to shreds Along with it you annihilate hundreds You kill women, children, young and old As a reward your family wins some gold Heaven is promised as your share You for hereafter your life spare Your turning of streets and roads into blood's pool Is a heinous crime you lecherous fool You nothing but God's wrath earn Your body and soul will in Hell burn Persecuted, tormented, lashed and cursed Your bleeding wounds left un- nursed The blazing Hell that never chills Its belly with likes of you fills Angels accounting for the blood spilled And the number of innocents you killed Who but you is to blame? Those on whose bidding you played the game Will not be there to rescue you From lashing of angels black and blue
She thought that he's charming Her friends says he is so cute But little did they know It's the furthest from the truth Her mom buys her a new dress Because he ask her to the prom But during the fun and laughter He spikes her punch with rum She wakes up in his BMW He,s smiling with a cigarette A morning she will remember A night to forget She can't stop crying She lies on her bed Feeling hurt and disgusted Suicide thoughts comes to her head Her mom notice the changes But she don't know what is wrong She use to sing in the church choir The preacher says she stops coming around She hugs her mother last night Then walks out the door alone And its now early morning She didn't come back home She jumps over the bridge They pull her body soaking wet She couldn't live with the memory Of the night she can't forget It's sad that her young life was ruin By the evil that lays hidden behind a smile Her mother life is shattered Never knowing what happen to her child This is happening to innocent girls All over the world Taking away their dignity and pride Sucking the life out of their very soul Another girl sits under a tree Reading a book of poem by kaz ishmael He said "excuse me just got to say That you have a beautiful smile She brushes her long hair Think her jeans didn't fit to right His BMW is waiting out side They are going to movies tonight
The funeral of a friend is a rude awakening for a man contemplating suicide.
She was the shrink I was crazy Depressed is the clinical name All I wanted was a blood bath With me as the victim Perhaps a leap from a tall building (I'm afraid of heights) Or a good old fashion hanging (keep with tradition) Overdose (seems too easy) Maybe the classic razor to the wrist (to cliché) Gun shot to the head (to messy) None of these would due It needed to be creative. I wanted to go out like Fred Astaire and Gene Kelley Dancing madly backwards In the rain, of all places for Christ sakes And get run over by the A Train. While Count Basie's Orchestra is swinging its ass off Or Sting is singing Roxanne. It needs to be like a wedding, a celebration if you will "Bon voyage Mr. Kilmer you're off to the darkness Send us a postcard if you can. We understand, but if anyone can do it you would be the one!" Then of course there's the note… How many people can you thank or make cry? It would be like the Emmy's where you get cut off by some crummy music I mean sweet Jesus can't a person just say a few words on his own behalf And not have to deal with rules and regulations? There is nothing in this world that is easy. I can't even die without a project manager and a caterer. Seems like such a waste of time. Maybe I'll have my toenails painted instead.
Is life worth a try? Would I be living a lie? If I smile, would it break? If I laugh, would it be fake? I see the tears from the sky and me See how self doubting I can be The feeling of damp grass The moment that's bound to last The ways I could wash away All the people who have gone astray Is it me to blame? When can my feelings be tame? Why is this world so dark? When can I actually make a mark? The tears all fall down Ive been given a permanent frown Standing out is not a choice Cant risk screaming with my voice The sky is now dark blue How many insults were true? I wish I could be pure They all hate me, I'm sure All eyes watch me every move So much that i want to prove why do i still put up a fight? Why shouldn't i just say goodnight? i don't have anyone to miss could death give me a dark ending kiss? Is there a reason for me to be here? I all i can feel is numbing fear I just want to feel the sun shine To feel happiness throughout my spine But that is just a dream That will float away with my desperate scream Help is the word i always say I ask for it everyday And what do i get? I pile full of regret I think it's time To end my faith, my suffering, my rhyme
There once was a man that was lackluster Who's life was one giant cluster Writes a suicide note He slits his throat Blank stares are all his family can muster
Hand in hand we walked together into Reception Nothing could stop us and together we were three James and I LARP-ed Doctor Who for fun We talked and laughed for hours Because no stress was in our way Anna and I smiled and laughed And jumped on our bouncy castle With nothing dividing us. Side by side we walked together into Year 6 Some stranger stopped them to talk and broken we were alone James and I talked about Doctor Who for fun And we talked and kissed for hours But misunderstanding broke us up Anna and I still smiled and laughed And joked about our bouncy castle But secondary school was going to divide us. With no one there I walked alone into Year 7 And a stranger became my friend and together we were two Violet and I both loved Doctor Who And James found Dominic So James and I talked for mere minutes And school started pulling us apart Anna and I still laughed and smiled Still promising to be friends Never letting it divide us Suffocating and drowning I walked into Year 9 Hating how I was and feeling alone Katie and Chloe were so pretty And Violet so funny and all were better than me James and I hardly talked or saw each other But we still made the most of our friendship As we were like family, stress couldn't break us apart Anna and I laughed but I did not smile genuinely Because the bouncy castle was long gone And our schools were beginning to divide us Dead yet breathing I stand right now And I hate who am I and every single detail Fights broke us up and pulled us apart So I can feel Katie, Violet and Chloe Falling further out my reach James moved house to a place unknown And blamed me for never talking to him But really it was because of my ex who was a girl It was for something beyond my control Anna and I were still friends; only by a thread As she did not know about me And how school broke me apart So this is me now; I'm all alone No longer the smiling young girl of reception The only person talking to me is me And the voice in side my head You see; they all left me and always will So now the only call I answer Is that of my blades And the darkness That is constantly Pulling me Down
A smile moves across her lips She gazes at her crime A scar across her flesh and soul To haunt her for all time She'll waste away for all she cares Never stops to use her brain Doesn't care about the ones who are close All she cares about is pain She wants to be what the others expect of her Doesn't care about the self-respect for her A rose can't be a forget-me-not Can't she see what all she has got Already? Never to go back again She feels the world is at an end She will never show her grief Although she'll cry in empty streetS She'd sooner live like a desolate mole Living in fear in an empty hole Screaming silent wails alone Content to live in her mental home A final tear falls from her eye It hits the ground, it's followed by A beautiful body, mutated by hate A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late One two many bricks in the wall in her mind Molding her demise because her heart was blind This self conscious being could never have won For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones She wouldn't fight back, wouldn't respect herself In the end, she managed only to wreck herself A rose can't be a forget-me-not Little did she know, she had all she had sought Already
Her devilish eyes beat at me taking flesh with every blow,her rendered heart beat sounds like tribal drum rolls an her skin drips venom from its pores , I find myself helpless and paralyzed , everything else seems trivial and meaningless to this moment,..she exhales smoke and lightning flows from her finger tips ,she is the antichrist the source of my device, but I can't help but give her my heart,I question my gift but remain entranced caught in her red moonlit ritual dance,sight of her is blinding , she is what Every man desires but can't reach, it feels like heaven but I sweat from the heat,the pain she inflicts is bitter sweet an burns like salt in a wound ,she is gods most regretted creation born for the night with a hunger that cannot be fed,hold her down chain her up she cannot be contained , pentagrams burn white in her eyes,she's a shape shifting voodoo angel that sleeps with vipers ,yet I seek her and desire her with every thread of my existence and have turned into an insomniac who day dreams of her , cut by the thorns of the rose she wears in her hair , always the day of the dead and raining razorblades, the tree limbs reach out for my embrace but every one of them are shadowed with her face,I close my eyes I can always find her there , lay with her in the ground every breath she takes is sin ,she's a black rosé that cannot be changed a black rosé that cannot be contained , ashes to ashes dust to dust I cut my heart to be with her and bleed undying trust,it's only her....everything else I feel is not real .....
TO A FORGOTTEN SUICIDE NOTE... On the gallows o time my soul Hung in despair. Faith released its terrible swift sword; Least my thoughts forgot. Least my thoughts forgot the footprints You walked To be free of the mystified feelings locked In catacombs of dreams Stroking spiraling smoke to blurred visions Gone stale like yesterday's day. Time passes and grief remains dissatisfied.
It was cold. Death's fingers Resting on my forehead. The nail Scraping, scraping, Skin scorching Of pain. "You want darkness Or heaven?" He cackled, losing grip On the nail Bludgeoning For blood. "Time's a wasting." The wind stopped blowing a long while ago. Death composed himself; Pulled the nail out 'Til the roused red Spouted out And the cold resurfaced. "You ain't scared. This suicide?" "Death. If only you knew, How much I craved For this to end." The frostbite quivered. Death removed The deadly weapon From the skin. "I'm a murderer. Not a liberator." Death. His charm tensed, As his tongue rid The blood stain from his white digit Forcing exit as a bitter belch, And a satiated grin Carved on his Phantom tint. "I'll be back when you have a purpose Eh? Ain't no joy for me when there's joy for you." And he will. Yes, he will wait. Patiently, Waiting To grace my blood With his twitching nail, Edging icily. For it will only take The whisper of a smile, A soundless breeze, To summon even the remnants Of his presence.
What was going through your head When you decided to end your life Did you consider your love ones at all Leaving behind your sons and wife Failing to show up for work on Monday Not calling or coming home that night Leaving your family frantic and scared So cruel of you to leave them in this plight You were reported missing to the police Your car found on Tuesday near Niagara Falls Witnesses seen you jump in the icy waters Just thinking about it.....my skin crawls Three weeks later, your body still not found Your wife is still struggling to stay strong Posting pictures of you in happier times Sorrow you left behind will be lifelong Now your boys will grow up fatherless Never understanding the reason why Damage done to them emotionally Tears of confusion and anguish as they cry A small community remains shell shocked The awfulness of it all is so hard to digest The reasons why we'll never truly know May your tormented soul now be at rest 12/ 09/ 2013 *A sad and true story, his children are in my son's school.
How can I tell you? I can't stay with you. Neither I can give up on you. Fear of losing you is losing me. It feels like slow death every night. But we are just stuck in our spaces! Unable to connect from two feet distance.
To Love Not Hateful thoughts fulfilled Breathing with the sea Watching lovers loving Wishing it was me What has become This person So proud So kind Loving to love Doing things right Rising above Now just hateful thoughts fulfilled Breathing with the sea It's these Stalking red shadows Piercing black holes Feeling this war taking my soul Wanting to die But willing to live Provoking my enemy To laugh is to give Wanting this wave Wanting it over Give me "The End" Death be my lover The more powerful this wave The more it intimidates my drive Like fire burning fire "Fire" out loud I cry I will always be alive So fierce Such force All cracked up Below the pendulum Of my splintered spine Now just hateful thoughts fulfilled Breathing with the sea These stalking red shadows And pierce these black holes Hatred for lovers And hate builds my soul I just want to die I don't want to live Prevoking my enemy To laugh is to give Death come besiege me Please set my soul free It's death now inside me Soon gone I will be So stare and stare And stare at them all It's me that I hate So it's me that must Fall.. by Christian Alexander
Depression 3 o'clock in the morning… The sounds of bed frames hitting drywall, The sounds of Chopin and Coltrane played With a hint of sadness in tone. Sounds of whores and pimps arguing; "Where is the money, you whore?!" "I don't have the money!" A sound of a slap to the face A big hand crushing bone, Blood everywhere Red streaks on white walls. The sound of drunks walking gloomy streets, Police and ambulance rush down burned out streets Sirens wailing, crying out! A child, six years old Crying, "Momma! Momma!" Shedding tears over his dying mother, lost her soul to the Crack pipe. Rest In Peace. A sound of a .357 magnum revolver click And a gunshot shakes the nerves of many, And for a moment the sweet and peaceful silence. "Dispatch, suicide on 46th street Hollywood Boulevard, Send the Corner. Over." Then the darkness sails over And the entire cities are showered with tears from the heavens, But no one weeps, Not a single soul… -10/2/13-
A ringing bell in the near-distance makes her delicate body tremble, as she sat on the corner of the opaquely purple stained living room sofa. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. She grew in despair of how that pattern of sound had aroused the tiny hairs on her crinkling hands. She exhales repulsively the last draft of the cigarette she just turned off. A glance at the silver-rimmed ashtray, which rests an arm's reach away, powerfully depicts that it was one of those nights again. She was content not too long ago. Pampered by his tender words. He was the father of the children they never had. She would name her first born Alexander. Defender of Man. They would live a joyful life, far away from the city's lights. Far away from it all. That day he did not pick up his gun and secure it in his holster from the smoothly sanded wooden table near the bed they shared as he went to work. That day he did not kiss her forehead, a gesture of safety, which she was so used to every morning. The silent kiss reassured her, everything will be okay and that he will be back sooner than later. That day he did not wake her up from her sleep. Not intentionally at least. That day she woke up to the sound of a bang in the near-distance of their home. That day she was surrounded with thick red. That day she understood how selfish human beings can be. She began to shiver uncontrollably, tightly grabbing her left elbow with her right hand. She picks up a container of sky blue ovals which lay on the table in front of her next to her near-empty pack of cigarettes. She recalls what the doctor had said, "One every time you get an attack, ONE ONLY." One never did the job, neither did five. That day she took ten. That day she slept well.
Do you hear the horn of the train? And the pitter patter of rain? Listen close do you hear a sound? Only silence, will she be found? Who is fragile, who is of strength How can one know another's length? Blind to the mask which hides her tears Binding her to demons and fears A fake light remains as she falls Even while her broken heart stalls Darkness commences in her soul Blood loss spirals out of control What an alluring crimson paint Overworked artist starts to faint Do you hear the horn of the train? And the pitter patter of rain? Listen close do you hear a sound? Only silence, will she be found? Why do some dance falsely with death? Unable to force their last breath Her unspoken words of pureness Soaked deeply in her loneliness The jagged line of her escape Leaves the unsuspecting agape Drawn up on the median vein Just a few more moments of pain Eyes flutter and seconds pass Then gently falls the broken glass Do you hear the horn of the train? And the pitter patter of rain? Listen close do you hear a sound? Only silence, will she be found? Then gently falls the broken glass
I hate my life, Because of all this strife, I just wanna take a knife, And end this life,
I Am a Big Fat Looser Oh I am a big fat looser I don't deserve to live I need someone to take a Gun And shoot me till I'm dead Yes I am a big fat looser I really want to die I'm looking for a violent guy To shoot me in the eye Oh I am a big fan looser I really have to say If this is life I realize I hate it every day Yes I am a big fat looser And life is just the pits I am a guy that wants to die Not live another day Oh I am a big fat looser I really hate this life If you the one don't have a gun Then maybe use a knife Yes I am a big fat doofus I really have to say If suicide is painless Well then maybe that's the way Oh I am a big fat doofus I live in misery But I don't have the courage Or I'd blow myself away I really am a doofus I've one more thing to say If anyone is listening Then shoot me right away So I can die today
I say goodbye To this chapter in my life Im sure you will get the answers When im gone So when the day comes The sun will not touch my face Theres mistakes The path is long Look at my face The stories it could tell The ones that wont erase Tell the ones that cared enough That i finally left this place So play the song Its something to remind you When im gone
LEFT BEHIND Let me come with you. Don't leave me here. Waking each morning forgetting, between sleep and wake, that you have gone My body, confident that if I reach for you across the lonely bed you will be there warm and sleepy. Skin smooth clean and sweeter than any man has a right to be Turning to you with my triumphs, my hurt, my happiness, my defeat. Taken for granted, the sharing now lost forever Laughter delights the heart but the art of causing another to laugh is the true joy. All lost I still smell your cigarette smoke, hear your voice, and feel your foot fall, your presence so solid that I speak aloud to you Cursing you for leaving me, pleading with you to return, begging that fate turn the clock back, beseeching that events be rewritten, different, so at the last possible moment, I will save you Trisha Sugarek Butterflies and Bullets .
With the death of my parents something changed inside, Its a secret very deep that I've tried so hard to hide, I keep busy working but admit I often have denied, There's not a day go by that I don't think of suicide. Then I look at my children and become filled with pride, To see my son graduate, my daughter become a bride, Would be part of life so important, it could not be denied. And spending these milestones without me to preside, Would make my family feel like a big part of them died. So I keep the sleeping pills hidden and the act untried, Averting the sad thoughts, putting a smile on the outside. Breathe easy, this secret is not a true story, that's the upside. Written by Lee Ramage August 30, 2011 For Shani Fassbender's Contest "Tell Me a Secret" Placement: First place ** According to the World Health Organization someone around the globe commits suicide every 40 seconds. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in 15-24 year olds. WHO website 2009
Light as a feather, sensing the wind passing fast And feeling free from everything at last Happiness and joy have found their way And in her soul they'll forever stay The long trail of memories passing by Every word he said and every lie Everything that was hunting her was gone Leaving her spirit pure and as white as a swan All her emotions were confused To this big mix of feelings she wasn't used Should she laugh? Should she cry? Nothing matters anymore when you're in the sky But now she's had enough and wants to stop And it's too late because she hit the ground like a tear drop.
Time moves on, and soon will tell, when asked for whom they ring the bell… Forty lived …and forty lost, you left before twilight. When it's half as much, at twice the cost, you'll bask in perfect light… We live in castles …made of sand, we come as a stranger, but leave as a friend… Remember now, your last first kiss, those times will be profoundly missed… Your smile indeed could cast a spell. You learned to play a bad hand well… With all our hopes and dreams in tow, we are old too quick, and wise too slow. Life's an elaborate complex dance... Would you live again, if you had the chance? Copyright © 2013
Oh, tragic feather what is thy tragedy No longer freedom gay or certian loft How is this thy new translation From a majesty, unto a wing thou hath mighty dropped Were thou thus, shunned, cast away Or merely, cut out or off As limb from downward spiral angel Perhaps, a troubled finch or insanity in wayward hawk Lie, if thou must, be it amidst a deafening silence, lonesome soft But, I plead, please tell me fallen feather, what hath befallen thee Thy tuft to ne'er evermore touch again What life should be, warmth of the summer's breeze Sleep, sleep now 'neath the alley's gutter greys Catching Weeping Willows damning drops Adrift as the drowning lily dying In seas of the myriad scattered rots An accomplice I shall say, within a winter's willing white And alas, buried ordinary in this doth the corpse delight Far beneath the crowds held at bay and forever lost Now thou hath become the naked grove of wicker and then... the more of naked souless crops
I hope you remember all of the bad things you have done so far I hope you still have the chance to fix them Im sorry it took me forever to write this letter to you Ive been meaning to save you from what your about to become For some reason i cant get a grip on it I dont know what i want to say I dont know how to help you Im about to tell you about some of the things you are about to do Right now your 16 Right now you are sitting on your bed listening to music Reading a book on your favorite band Smoking that cigarette That will soon get you into all the other things that causes more problems for you Try to avoid the guy you are about to let into your life Remember that your not allowed to talk to strangers Remember your mom told you that when you were 7 Its about time you listen to her You will meet a girl And you will end up hurting her Dont take her to that club Where your band is about to play Your not good at singing And your bass playing still needs some work Dont embarass yourself It lowers your self esteem And you will try to committ suicide Multiple times But dont worry It doesnt work So stop trying to Kill yourself Remember the night when you ran away And went to go live with your aunt Yea... Shes about to kick you out Look under your bed You will find 500 dollars You put it there when you were young You forgot Thats why im writing you Remember it Take it and use it wisely Dont use it on the drugs Dont use it on the beer Use it towards a better future So then i dont have to write this letter again. 12-13-12
It's always hardest, when there is no one to talk to- When I dial your number, and it just rings and rings Until the dreaded "voice mail" picks up. For just an instant, when there is that brief crackle and "click"- My hopes skyrocket that you have picked up the phone and answered, when I needed it most, the moment I am most frantic... But when, in reality, it's just that pre-recorded message that I've heard a million times before; how I loath it And I feel my heart sinking, like there are anchors tied all around it, dragging it into the depths of my stomach! Where are you? Can you not feel my desperation through the infinite channels of the universe, or are they clogged and busy, too? Don't you know that I need you, perhaps now, more than ever? I know you're at that fancy French restaurant you're always talking about, drinking fine wine and eating escargot, possibly dancing the night away. While I am here, all alone, eating my own heart out for supper. All I need, all I want, is a compassionate voice on the other end of the line, talking me down off the ledge once again. Don't you know I've had too much to drink; that I am listening to sad songs and thinking about doing it again- that awful thing which leaves me so terribly scarred when I wake from my stupor? The cuts. You know, those things you hate to see marring my arms. But I'll have to resort to self-will and self-control, of which I have so very little... I may or may not make it through another night of melancholy and self-loathing. Please, for the love of God, pick up the damn phone! *Any Poem Goes Contest Entry ~JustThatArchaicPoet
Those who kill innocents are cruel, Their bodies will always be hell's fuel, Islam teaches about honor and dignity, Care and love for the whole humanity, But black sheeps are found everywhere, Like KKK or Taliban, "Be aware", They do things on their own, Their very own people, they disown. All rights are reserved. Syed Imon Rizvi From a book "Outspoken" - 2012 Available at www.amazon.com
Broken promises Makes noose feels regret
How queer the color of viscera squarely foreign in my breast To be the butcher and grim and goddess All in one Leaves identity succinct Or identifies succinctness If it has been Then so it was always before Therein is 'Peace' Reposed and eyes rolling Great, vacant saucers on vertiginous axis She is quite the swollen beast And on all fronts, she is terrible If only you'll watch you may notice her growth A malignant sort An unwelcome appendage I'd dash it out but I've already gone Too pale and dogged in life to succumb I curse her tenacity She has a sister, I think Or maybe a child A child who lives down deep in my chest A child who shrieks and tears down the walls Perhaps she dislikes their pattern
The white dragon hunts you. With eyes of a predator, ever watching. Waiting in the dark shadows to strike. I have chased this dragon before. For he has haunted me, as well. Many a lifetime ago. That you did not know. There is terror in my heart. I want to scream, run! But you will not hear me, Over the roar of his breath, or the promise of more. Your choice binds you to the chase. No spell I can cast will be enough to save you, Beautiful boy. I can only stand here, and watch, as this dragon looms over your poisoned mind, and weakened body. You are running out of time. The chaos is closing in. Gripping you tighter every time. I cannot stand to watch. My heart dies a thousand deaths. You must run. Please, I beg of you, for all you are beautiful boy. I don't want to watch you slip into the past, As you fall prey to the dragon. Run!! GypsyofEssence
( BULLYING ) Billy thompson got picked on at school, they always would take his money. They would call him names like Fat Albert, and thought that it was funny. Billy was angry so he told his mom, but she thought that he was lying. He guessed that she didnt care, even though every day he would be crying. This went on for many days, he tried to tell his teachers. They said dont tattletale, that he had some stunning features. Billy was mesmerized, he didnt know what to do. He couldnt walk around all day, feeling sad and blue. That Thursday was herendous, the name calling it just grew. After school he got into a fight, and ended up black and blue. His mother said he probably deserved it, you shouldnt pick a fight. So billy thought long and hard, before he went to sleep that night. He went to school the next day, he had a surprise inside his coat. He wasnt going to get picked on any more, on the paper was all he wrote. The bullies came as usual, and Billy`s face got read. He pulled a gun out of his coat, and shot himself in the head.
Oh give me a rope With a noose that is loose And i'll tie it up on a beam Then give me a pill That will give me a thrill And i'll end it all on a high Death Death is the way For life is to sucky to play So give me a gun That is loaded for fun And i'll blow my brains far away.
Don't stand at my grave, An weep. I'm not no long there. I'm forever asleep In a peaceful place. You may look up, To the sky. Maybe even daydream Of are memories... I just ask this one Simple thing ... Please don't cry, Upon that stone With my name engraved, Cause that body is, No longer mine... I'm not there... But I'm here somewhere at ease.. Share are memories Tell are stories. Cherish ever moment, And soon enough. ALL IN GREAT TIME Forever by my side, But it's not your time, So get up and dry Your crying eyes... I'll be here no rush.. Together soon enough... Don't give up...
Something we forget that will cause us sorrow, Is that today may be the last time, To tell someone you love how important they are. Only a fool believes there's always a tomorrow. Such a belief is a crime. You never know, What they feel all the time. The thoughts going through their heads. The pressure & emotions only grow What their thinking is a crime. Maybe if you had told them yesterday, They'd still have some time. But now they will never hear your words. Because yesterdays tomorrow is now today. What they did was a crime.
Maelstrom, O thou devil Slither past last March then unto April Into the eves and ides of May Thou cannot hide, but thou wilt try To disguise thy age old blackness Forsake what once were brighter skies Stranglehold; sane extraction And the spills of night A new tone deafness Burning oil; sentiment molasses Bringing storms that cloud minds human and fragile Spheres of moonlit halos Become, no more than serpent spies Peeking through faultlines of life Dancing about to the madness limbo One lost soul... Shipwrecks against a sea And there too does the twist of tango Eyes of the deep; tentacles, touching me Elsewhere, the raven flies repetition Into glass windows Blood stains upon a faceless mask Drowns out the cries and the conscience Of feathers blacker that lie strewn Are the questions I have asked And the answers I cannot have Let slip feigned breath of man beneath A gargle from the cold tunnel brine What's left surrenders alter to its evil And nothing is, to evermore survive And the eves and ides of May Are Saran gas upon a mass of land Men of desparation hunger Eating flesh of man much meeker And thou wilst not again Glimpse thy rival sun Nor when it comes, goes Or finality, when it finds its done Inspired by the madness of Poe That which is locked within us all
Rope around my neck, I fall, waiting for blackness. Bliss. Eternal sleep.
The Eyes The eyes so shattered and so blue, You sit there and you knew The pain of losing someone close to you, And you beg for their return, But a wish so great, can never be granted. The eyes shattered and blue, Watch you, Take the bottle and drowned yourself, They watch you destroy yourself, And they know what they do, Yet they show no remorse, no pain in heart. You fall asleep On a dirty mattress, Held up by broken dreams And nightmares, No pillow, no blanket Just air you float on. And your blind eyes close in the night, The dreams come back to haunt you And the eyes, they watch you, So shattered and so blue. Till three o'clock hits again Wake in cold sweat, Spiders on webs weaving a nest In your head, A cry out for the Madhouse, Where the eyes so shattered and so blue Stare at you, through a window with no reflection. -10/3/2013
If I weren't alive, I guess I'd be dead. I'd be a soul, Floating around the universe. There'd be no sound, Just my thoughts to keep me company. All the sweet silence, And nothing but calm all around. If I weren't alive, I would miss my family, But I'd still visit them. I'd know they were okay, Because I'd be the one to protect them. If I weren't alive, But only just a soul, I might get lonely. I might miss your face, And I'd miss the love that your arms hold, When they're holding me. If I weren't alive, And only a soul, I don't think I'd be as happy, As I am down here on earth. I think I'm glad that I'm still alive.
For months, I waited to embrace her, And then she came, I cuddled her with no shame, Standing naked under her presence, Like the broken door of heavens, She hugged me with impeccable love, Smiled and presented a shove, I was lost in her million eyes, And then I begun making love with her... Sucking her lips under her, I opened my eyes and realized, That every word she said, she lied, I dint lie the only person who kissed, cuddled and made love to her... Every person under her, she loved, I crawled back into my abode, Slashed my vein, and showed, The love for her, as my blood mixed in her tears, She wept, and there, forever, I slept.
How my mind races...how my heart breaks with every passing thought...each one weighing heavier on my heart! Every one causes me to roam closer to that cliff...closer to my escape...THEN I LOOK BEHIND ME and I see the hurt bewildered look upon my loved ones face...and I see a mirror image of myself...asking WHY? In that moment I begin to answer other's questions, only to realize THIS IS WHY!
Standing across from damien whom had been his lover for yea He takes his heart out of his chest And places it in Damiens hands Kurt says "this heart belongs to you" He askes Damien "do you want it?" Damien places Kurts heart in his hands "i dont" Kurt throws it to the ground and stomps on it Looking down at his crumpled heart a tear Falls from his cheek He starts walking away He falls to his knees Like suffocating Damien runs over to him But is blocked by a black mist Damien stands there whispering "Kurt come back" Kurt stands up and places his heart Into Damiens pocket As Kurt turns and walks away The sky opens up And kurt rises to the clouds A few years later Damien joins him up at the gates
Near the end of the edge, truth is there is no end, But only a different story into which I descend. A drop so high, seemingly endless, But I am near the edge of my life's end. Falling alongside the wall of time, Truth is there is no wall, but only a cliff to grip As my soul slips into death as I breathe my last breath.
Innocents is purity, which evil preys. To endure such beings may leave one in decay. Anger and hate will fill your mind, weakness seeping down your spine. Fear gives in, you can not breathe and can not stand. Darkness overwhelming with the end at hand. A reaper comes to collect your spirit. But on this day you need not fear it. A helping hand he comes to give, he sees purity and light deep with in. Pick yourself up young lad and breathe deep, your life has meaning if you seek. Your mind is poisoned and your heart frail. Stay steadfast your light will prevail. Your conviction is strong, it never falters. Take your pain and build alters. Around your heart to ward off the dark. Your almost there, protect your spark. From the evil that dwells in your mind, Leave it there and don't be blind. Enjoy the beautiful things in life. So you may better understand your strife. For the road to glory is long and treacherous. Do not fear because you are dangerous. Armor thick forged in pain, spear of light leaving blood stains. Do not fear the beast with in, control it and give it name. Listen to the vibrations, now take aim. He is your spear, your love is the light. Protect the innocent and fight. Glory comes, but does not wait. To seek it out is to seek my fate. Innocents cries, evil feeds. A spear of light is what I will be. Piercing the darkness of evil deep, Until glory comes so that I may sleep.
They escape One by one Gathering speed They begin to run The last drop falls No more inside One silent heave Until I die My heart lays broken My heads a mess An empty shell Is all that's left No more tears No more fight No more questions I say goodnight
Born to live, Never wanting to die, fearing death to its every limit, as blue eyed death grabs my shoulders and laughs with grim and I fear death even more. Car crashes, murders, greed and envy takes me to a place where I can't find hope. Laughs grow and brings tears to my eyes, I hope off trains and dodge cars driving down freeways taking time to sit down and look at my ways, that push me left nor right. Up nor down can I see the time tick away I can't wait till I walk Jacob's ladder, till a black demon tears me down, and sins rip me open, like a surgeon to a patient on a table, Me, myself and I take time to see the wrongs in life. Do I dare shake the vines from the dark green jungles that tangle deep in my mind, body and soul? I shake with vengence when time turns its face from me. Time has no time for me and she takes me by the hand and wastes my life away with endless heartbreak and drunken whores and buffoons, who care only about themselves. The evil souls burn away, and their blind eyes do not see what they do to others' hearts and souls. I believe the strangeness of me is that I love too much, and care too much to actually open my eyes and see what burns away infront of my very eyes. I only see what my heart wants to see my romantic side kills me away, while my physical being is falling apart with heartbreak and sorrow. The strange part is, love was never there to be found, and the strangeness of me, is that I love too much to see blue eyed death coming to get me.
I have endured life's up's and down's, I keep to myself and don't make a sound. I fight with my thoughts every single day, nothing I do helps make it go away. It's been a long road and a hard one to follow, now I am at a dead end and my heart is hollow. You can call me a coward but your not me, I don't want your pity so just let me be. Thank you for the help you all tried to give, I can't take anymore I no longer want to live. I feel that suicide is the answer for me, it's time to release my demons and set me free. March 27,2013
Why tell people in advance? Do you want them to feel guilt? For not loving you, listening to you? Why hurt them? Revenge? Yes, the world has hurt you, It can be cold and mean. So you do have the power to make a lot of people feel guilt. You want to leave the world, hurting people? So you weren't loved as a child, a lot of us weren't. When you grow up you learn it is not about others loving us, it is about the love we give others. You cant make the world love you, but you can bring love into the world. That's why you have a heart. Every major religion agrees suicide is bad for the soul In the west, we call it purgatory, you sit alone, in a dark place, and feel, you feel guilt, shame, hurt, and loss. God isn't there, the angels aren't there It's more alone than you are now, feeling 1000 times worst, and the only thing you can do is feel it, go into the emotions and purge them until you are capable of loving again, giving love to others, that is. Only, then can you even be near an angel or god. A soul with no love, cannot even be in God's presence. That is why purgatory exists, to purify a soul of its selfishness Here is your cure, Go help some people worse off than you. Look into their eyes, feel their suffering, share theirs with them, listen to their pain, radiate love to them, be quiet and listen As you give to them, you heal..... Write poems of how you feel, your life experiences, stop writing suicide stuff... Take your pain and put it into the art, go deep, make yourself cry. If the poem doesn't hurt you, it's not deep enough. Write some on beauty that make you feel it.. Pray for the planet and all the people in pain Imagine your heart glowing love, healing it all. Forgive everyone that has hurt you. Anger will burn a hole in your heart. Face your fears, go out in the world heal it, make it a better place This is your mission here..............
My journey pulls me upward Out of places of despair The darkness lies in wait Round the corner it is near When lifes' sorrows get too many And pile upon my back The darkness will again return And poise for its attack And when it called those I loved It was ruthless in its game It took the breath from everyone And called them out by name: Paul, Jay, James, Ralph R.I.P. 8-31-14 for confessionalism contest
On this stormy night I pray Let my sins be washed away The clouds are thick Not a star in sight On this cold and stormy night A stain on my pillow Where tears fell like rain No more sorrow No more pain A dark figure beckons me to come Whispering that this life is done No more sorrow No more pain For I shall perish in the rain Lured into the darkness Searching for the light On this cold and stormy night
A shaking razor A hand full of pain killers A life we will miss
Ever feel like your world is crashing right before your eyes? Everyone is just in a still mode you go up to speak to them And they just stand there Not saying a word not even blinking Like your world has frozen I'm your pain when you can't feel I'm your eyes when you must kill I'm your voice when you must lie I'm the fear that fills your brain I'm yours when the world falls apart I'm the sadness when you are depressed I'm the numbness when you can't heal I'm the sharpness of the blade in which u cut I'm the bullet that pierces your heart I'm yours when your world has fallen apart.
You left? Why? Because of me is it? It was all my Fault was it? I did Everything for you to love me, I did Everything for you to accept me, I did it all because I love you But why?How could you?! You left and break the Promise, Which you were suppose to not Break it, Your words were all a Lie was it? And This is Just a Game then you`ll end it I was just a Replacement,My Love and YOU slap it on my Face like how it hurts I tried and Tried to Move on, But it still hurts You were Mad because of a Worthless Lie, You were mad just like how someone Died But My Dear,You don`t need to Prove it on me `cause I know I`m not the perfect one to thee And Now may I tell you this, That my Love is never Ending, Whenever you hurt me It just makes me love you more... It makes me Feel heaven to fall for you, But your life was in hell when I did too So now I`m leaving and won`t come back Because you left me Because of me.
bruise bruise bruise cut bruise bruise bruise cigarette burn bruise bruise bruise cut bruise bruise bruise broken heart bruise bruise bruise distracted mind.
Your eyes shut tight Hearing a sound Your heartbeat races You can feel the little pieces Bleeding through The hairs on your arms Stand up Closing your eye lids shut Keeping them from opening Reaching your hand over To turn on the light Once you do You open your eyes And nothing is there Your heat beat dies down And your back to feeling alone Walking to the graveyard Going there as you And leaving there as someone else You can feel them all around you Grasping unto you And never letting go Places parellel You know its something paranormal You decide not to stay You feel yourself start to fade away pretty soon everything will be back where it belongs The ghost grabbed unto your depression And it slowly killed you From the inside out Now you are in the graveyard
How do you expect me to be less of a pessimist and more of an optimist. When you're pessimistic about my optimism.
Titbit scars to feed emotions crimson; In Her gloomy heart by her wet season. As Her solstice endorses a greasing red, She revels off a goad instead... To each bliss cusp she gladly deflowers, I cavort rue to each rose's hour; As fingertips writhe in snow-white flesh the sate of Love's cappella caress... My emotions ascend to a God with black wings, And soon this soul taken from pentacle rings. But first I am descending before Her throne, Her chest still racks that abyssal stone! Prurient crucifixion of an annulled witch hunt. Nascent Shangri to Her mire c*nt. Her emotions strong enough to splendour fires, This libertine forges Her foreplay desires. Taken of the pulpit by a tyrant crevasse, Splay out on an Oratory's cerise glass. As she leers like the silver Moon... I sprawl to Her with greatest tempt, Only for me to feel contempt! I scream ''You are my salvator'' as, Blood pours where my sanguinary blade caress...
End It By: IzaDonna My demons crouch real low Seeping out of me real slow The pain protectively covered Darkening memories like no other But I hide behind a smile This life not seeming worth while The blade I have is ready to go Life already being at an all time low So bring on the darkness i no longer have a purpose Chorus I push you away to protect you My sickness n pain being nothing new So save yourself from my sorrow Cause I won't live to see tomorrow You deserve someone better So let me be and go find her Loneliness is my own choice Feeling so lost with no voice So I let each day slip by Everyday just wanting to die What have I become Where did all this pain come from Being left alone is my desire The spark going out in my fire My days I feel are at an end Too far gone to possibly mend Chorus So bring on the darkness I've lost my purpose
Romeo and Juliet Their love prompted their society to fret And led to their suicidal death In one of the greatest love stories yet Lancelot and Guinevere They had an adulterous love affair Which demonstrated very clear Her unfaithfulness to her husband dear Paris of Troy and Helen In his love for her he was so smitten This led to his country's ruin And also cost the lives of many men Anthony and Cleopatra He followed in the footsteps of Caesar Who was also her son's father And he made this foreign queen his lover Samson and Delilah He was well known as a strong warrior Until she became his barber After which he lost his strength and power David and Bathsheba Through loving her, he became a sinner And turned into a murderer Despite his image as a great ruler Shah Jahal and Mumtaz Mahal Among his wives he loved her best of all Their love he made monumental And embodied it in the Taj Mahal
This reality is a titless girl: Nothing to offer superficially; But if I peeped under her breast, I'd receive what'd put my soul to rest. Sadly, I haven't the greatest of senses To blow my fallible beliefs out of my ear; What's offered underneath will stay in the rear.
Your letting me go, You no longer want me, I'm falling back to the ground from the sky's that held me, I'm falling hard, falling fast, I'm falling back from the pass, You have discarded me, all of our memories, all the little pieces of me. you no longer want me, you want a newer version, the least broken version, the more happier version, but hunny you drove me here, all those nights you screamed, the anger you rained down on me, there was no mercy for me to plead, has I beg from me knees, I beg for you to set me free, lower that knife, take my life, set me free, send me back to the angels, that held me.
"Depression" From the darkness of my soul I rise To this life's putrid lies As morning light beckons My weary mind awakens Although the sun is bright Where all you see is light My day is shining dark I cannot find a spark My heart is heavy as I wash n dress All manner to impress With shirt and tie Bright lips and eyes Hiding my sorrow deep within Departing souls my only kin My eyes so bright you'll never know Your joy has become my foe And when my eyes are teared For nothing to be feared You wonder why I cry You walk away and sigh A friend indeed is all I need To share compassion's seed Hold my hand in darkest times Help me once again to hear the chimes For I am want to die But truly this is just a lie For all I really crave Is someone save me from my grave From the darkness of my soul I rise Yet another day for me to despise I take the blade and contemplate Who decides upon my fate
Heartbeat, listen to the sound Of your fallen hitting the ground. Slower, as your vessel drops Down to my stomach, lock My emotions away, My empathy never to see the light of day. Heartbeat, hear my cries, going out To the mercy of the night, but the shout Inside me is left unsaid. Quiet smiling, eyes are dead. Heartbeat, see my pain, hidden Inside me locked and cut ridden. Feel my hurt, that no one can see, Stop the raging, monster inside me. Heartbeat, watch me fall, see the pity for the monster who caused it all. I feel it raging at being trapped in such a husk, An ugly, unappealing uncomfortable, thing, to be resting at dusk. Heartbeat, ignore me please. I am not a women to go down on here knees. I lie with women, as women lies with man, bin The bible, I am already condemned to sin. Heartbeat, it is too right to feel wrong The pained screams from my head I hear are a song. They turn quiet, but the silence is forlorn. The silence isn't quiet, and it foreshadows a storm. Heartbeat, you are forever absent, But that will be because my hear has been torn. I figured out the puzzle though. And I hate it to my grave. I was the raincloud. I was the storm.
The best thing you can do about a suicide is understanding it. The boy opens the door and walks by his mom his mom says "how was school" He doesnt respond he walks silently to his room His mom turns away in sadness "its dinner time Kurt" she yells up the stairs. He walks slowly down the steps Hiding something in his hand as he puts it in his pocket His mother is setting the table Putting meat on his plate He sits down unto the seat not touching his food "is there something wrong with it?" his mom asks He doesnt look at her "talk to me. why have you been ignoring me" she repeats. He gets up off the chair and walks outside Walking into the woods as his mom runs out "get back here where are you going" Every living thing dies alone." he writes in white on a tree in there back yard He throws the rope over the toughest branch He steps up unto a little chair Tying the rope around his neck The chair falls His mom worries in panic She cant find him anywhere She waits up all night The Next Morning" She walks out to the garden Looking up at a tree She sees the fallen chair from behind a tall bush She runs Picking up the chair Seeing the thing she never thought would have happened She falls to her knees A tear falls from her cheek Not understanding Reading the words on the tree Every living thing dies alone" She wonders Thinking Crying She untangles him from the tree and holds him Talks gentle to him Something she hasnt done in a while Now grasping the meaning behind what he has done The best thing you can do about a suicide is understanding the meaning behind it.
The train comes through each night here Six and eight and nine o' clock With a horn so loud we're accustomed now To pausing when we talk A stroke of horrid luck Has turned these tracks dark red before And the conductors' hands still tremble And in their heads the breaks still roar And every single dismembered figure Made the first responders cry But they were not all an accident Some went to the tracks to die Like the weary man with lung cancer Who didn't want to drown Like the aids patient who found the strength To lay his wasted body down Like the girl who fought leukemia And was losing all too slowly She left her wheel-chair at the park And prayed to God the train was rolling It's from the morphine legislation With only rights to pull the plug When hope is gone the pain goes on Regardless of the drugs It's true we have the right to live And we can fight to stay alive But it's not over till it's over Cause we don't have the right to die By Kyle Ezra Kriticos
I want to drown my urge to die I want to kill my pulse inside I can't breathe, I'm paranoid Everything in life I avoid Don't speak to me, I'll look away Inside my eyes is just decay I'm already dead, but have yet to die Why do I keep my body alive My soul is dead, eyes are lies So is the smile I hide behind Pull the plug, I'm a fake In a nightmare and I cannot wake Drown me! I'm flooded in pain Please help me regain Some peace, some rest I want to die to live again Set me free Slitting my wrists isn't working The more stares I get The more I become numb I just need to be gone Eliminate my pain, I'm already out of breath Suffocating on my hopelessness Every day I am alive But I'm craving to die inside Curved smile because your so naive You think I'm happy Yet I'm being crushed My head is overflowing With these thoughts that are too much One word, suicide Sparks a light inside of my eyes I don't want to pretend to live Let me go, flood me in sin There is where I want to swim Six feet under the ground Don't be selfish And keep me in pain To tourture my lifeless body again Let my body float soundly Rushing water, ocean salt I promise I won't feel it at all. End it, hold me under Then bury me so I can slumber Goodbye lifeless eyes As I'm dying I'll be coming alive Haunting images Deleted from my mind Laughing As I leave this world behind Water Floods my lungs Death Leans in for a kiss Together we sink into insanity And drown in infinitys abyss.
There's a weight on my chest that won't go away A stinging in my eyes, but it's not the rain Scars on my arm that take forever to fade away Drowning out the world because participation leads to pain Hearing the whispers when you're alone "Nobody cares about you… Just kill yourself already" The darkness creeps up ever so slowly The weight just gets more heavy Wanting to find ways to numb the pain and make the world go away for a day Nobody notices when you start to cry You become invisible, but its not that you're shy Why open up when the world wants you to die? You're too much of a burden to ask for help Even if you had a rope to your throat and try to see if you can fly Dipping your pillows into the ocean The only comfort you have is that other people wouldn't be bothered by your death You become two different people The one you were whispers for help, with tears in your eyes While the one you became shouts "I'm fine" and smiles, refusing to let the other you reach out for help, before you decide to take your life The one you became smothers you, refusing to talk to anyone You fall deeper into yourself Until you fade away completely
Standing facing you As you face me The words fall out of your mouth I see them float to my ears I read them as they fly by me Leaving me Just like you are You turn to me And you shot me Telling me to dig the bullet Out of my heart I reach inside my heart As it crumbles apart Into a million pieces As i try to pick up all the pieces I realize some are missing And were neverto be found I see myself Holding the bullet As im standing next to you Holding up a fake smile Things havent changed Because We were meant to be Even tho you left me I will be standing Beside you in time
I want again to be perfected. Everyday, awakening to fine-tuned platitudes, Agendas, each hour hanging before me Like coats on hangers. I want overcast and quiet; I want blue screens and coffee stains, Car exhaust and migraines. Most of all, I want to wake up and not feel like Setting myself on fire Purely out of spite. I want to wake up and not feel like The ground was yanked from beneath me, And I was suspended in the brief moment Before gravity. I want to drop dead from winding up the entropy, Ironing out the flesh across my face, Peeling off the scars I traced. I want to drop dead and stay. I don't want another trip back from the grave, The festering stench of yesterday, Puking up the plans I made. So many years I tried to keep from being lost, To be back on top so I can at last leap off.
No More Feeling abrupt, Like a volcano ready to erupt My soul a hurricane swirling Around my empty mind and cruel And forgotten soul. Pain, feelings so strong, It cannot be described On a page with a pen. I snatch the lunar eclipse Away, And beauty of the heart goes away, No sight, no sound; No pain, no sorrow; No smile, no frown; No anything, no everything. A soul so black, A heart so weak, That love is long gone, And will never return. No pain is worth feeling, And no pain such that I hold Is worth writing away, No use in finding love again, When faced with heartbreak One thousand times before. No more pain, no more sorrow. I shall go and sleep away the time, Till Death comes calling my name, And lilacs and violets litter my way, And a single ruby hearted rose Dries up and slowly dies away. -10/3/2013-
Why me Why me dear god Why the hell me! I did all you asked I've even played the card Of a good girl, the one Everyone wanted me to be. Why can't you save me. I'm hurting immensely And no one care not even slightly. How could you allow me to fall So deep, so far into misery. I've grown to hate myself so much so I'm that demon within the angel That you see. I'm crying out for help And not once did you show me sympathy. Like everyone else you pretend to care My prayers are just words you refuse to here. You watched the tears ran down my cheeks And didn't send an angel to watch over me. I don't want to be part of this world anymore Just set me free…. Sleeping forever is where I are to be. 05/05/09
In this pool of blood I lie Awaiting the Angel of Death to come nigh So many tears of crimson I've cried But there were too many shed on this night I did not want to cut deep inside But what's done is done and now I try To stay awake and glimpse death coming by Before life drains and I greet the other side What will be waiting? I wonder as I die I had heard tales of palaces in the sky Of angels and Gods and all else you would find In the imaginative corner of someone's mind But I don't think that is what I will find Laying here dying I notice that my Mind races with thoughts of my ended life Of all the things I never tried And all the times I cried and cried Of all the moments I wished I would die Now all I want is a little more time But I can feel the slipping of mine Reminding me that the end is nigh I wonder if the Angel of Death will fly To take me to death where I will now reside
The tears rolling down her face as she makes those deep gashes in her arm. She doesn't feel anything, she is numb. She just wants the pain to end. For people to understand that cutting is not just a phase Just because she cuts does not mean she is broken, She has scars on her arms, wrists, legs and stomach She tried to alter her appearance because she got called fat She changed the way she dressed because she was called a slut. Little did they know that she was sexually assaulted at the age of 5 That she is afraid to be in a relationship. That it has taken her 10 years to trust people again. But it is too late now she is gone You killed her with your words With your bullying She couldn't take it anymore So she killed herself In hope that it would make you happy Because that is what she wanted She changed everything about herself to make you happy Not seeing that it was destroying her.
Sitting there, staring out the window, I notice the rain that follows the widow. She starts walking inside the house, wearing that dreadful blouse. I float downstairs and hear her cry, "My love! My sweet love! Oh where have you gone? " I tap her shoulder, my hands going right through her. "Forever I miss my dear." I whisper. The widow stood up and walked to the window, To see me, by the tree, that welcomed her to the sorrow. I wave one last time Now it's time to bid one last goodbye. I disappear and float away "I'll sit here in despair, " she will say. "And never forget the tree, that murdered my dearly beloved."
All my secrets hidden In the color of red Filled with my sharp objects That I keep under my bed No one would ever know I look happy don't I But I'm not because I have a secret So I look alive Full of life they said But I'm not I'm dead But I fought Fought against myself But how could you ever win That's the problem you don't You die with every sin No one knows why or how And for a second they care But they never really did All they did was stare So I grab my box Soon see blood running down my skin That's when I feel alive But I still could never win Win my own battle against myself So I just listen to the rattle Of my sharp objects
The wave are turning and I want To pull you from the tide, You go under, yet you use The blue-black water to hide. What are you hiding from? There's nothing to fear in this world. Don't you want to curl up with me, In love, tangled and furled? Don't you want to breathe your last, In a place you feel serene? Don't you want to watch your family grow, Your children reach their dreams? Your conscience, it takes over. You want to just lie down. You want to go in peace and quiet, Where you can't hear a sound. It's not a choice between life and death, But a choice within your mind. You cannot search for who you are, If you decide to hide. I look at you, you look at me, And it's all so surreal. The worst is holding onto your soul, But, nothing you can feel. I know you want to touch the bottom, And surface to the top. But you're convinced that there is no way, You'd ever want to stop. I know you want to break free, And swim back onto land. Even though you tell yourself That you won't stand a chance. Don't tell me any differently, I can see it in your eyes. You want to live, you want to love, Do it all before you die. It's not your time to leave this Earth, And fly into the sky. Let's get you dry and take you home, No sorrys or goodbyes.
Gazing with a distant soft saddened stare, Locked in a zone and I'm staring out there. Trampling emotions are mangling my soul. A pilot flying solo with no self control. Headfirst - a nose dive in progress. Thinking twice - a complex process. Falling aimlessly constant flashbacks in mind. Gusting wind rushing my eyes forcing them blind. Gravity's strong pull is more than my own. No turning back, a decision full blown. Ground zero near, it's closing in fast. Seconds from death, my breath at its' last. I'm screaming so loud I wake myself up. A nightmare repeated, my mind is shook up. - Yours Truly
Can you please wake up? It's been so long since I've seen your face. I miss the gentle raspiness of your voice And the sweet taste of watermelon on your lips. Your words give me a reason to live. They wrapped me within a blanket of optimism Every time you spoke. I understand the reason why you had to leave, But you couldn't even say goodbye to me, Because you left so suddenly Why do you have to be so far? I constantly call you hoping you'll pick up . I text you hoping you'll somehow respond. But I know you won't even bother. You're off doing bigger and better things, And I can't stop you from living your life the way you wanted. I occasionally walk by your old house, And reminisce on the memories we shared in that abandoned home. Like your mom making us homemade lasagna, And stealing kisses when she turned her back. But all that is just a faded memory. Every time I think of you, My tears flood the corners of my eyes. I just wish I can kiss your scars one last time, But the most recent cut Took you away from my arms, And moved you to a permanent place amongst the stars. So I'll give you this single rose above your grave. As I promise to see you again. One day.
The monkey, that's me, The monkey that pretends to be free. So happy to have his day, To hear the cheers, the laughs, And you looking my way. Laughing at the faces I make, My clever tricks, the cakes I bake, Clapping resounds in my ears, And blows away my silent tears. It's the monkey's day, No matter how many tricks I play, A monkey I will stay. I will always be locked up in my little cage, I may shake the bars in sorrow or rage, But I need the peanuts they throw in my face, I need their laughing to avoid disgrace. A little monkey, with monkey hopes and monkey dreams, Monkey desires and monkey schemes, Monkey wishes his fears away, Monkey longs for a better day. Sometimes I take myself so seriously, As if I'm very important really, I dress up as if I'm real and proud, And strut around my head in a cloud. I pretend that I'm important for you and the world, I drink up the laughter the applause of the girls, Just before I realise my dilemma, My cloths are too small my act is a failure. Sometimes they pick my cage up and move it around, Sit it the wall or put it on the ground, Sometimes they take me out in the sun, Or swing it around to have some fun. But most of the time they forget that I'm here, Here in the dark of a thousand years. Alone waiting for you to come home, Searching the horizon for your grave stone. In fact there's nothing left at all, In my monkey brain they nailed to the wall. Does a monkey have a soul? Am I for real or really just a hole. Will I wake up and disappear? Will I wake up and become thin air? That will really be the day, The day the monkey got away. My last trick, they didn't see nor even care, The day the monkey dissolved in thin air. No more shaking my cage in despair, No more pretending that I am here, No more strutting about, making a noise, No more playing with my plastic toys. I will disappear and no one will see, Nor even remember a faint memory of me, They'll put the empty cage on the wall, And my ghost will eat the peanuts they let fall, As they continue to wonder, laugh and clap, At the empty cage, dead monkey on your lap. Full version at : http://labyrinthoflies.com Spoken also at: http://youtu.be/ig26KyXpbyE
I stepped off the porch unsteady A memory had crossed my mind again And I began to unwind Come morning light, I'll be gone Its been six years now And I still think of you And what might have been What should have been And that which will never be Come morning light, they'll be gone Shaking, I slide down that wall as slowly As the rivers flowing from my eyes Six years now and without fail Every year the sky weeps with me Come morning light, it will be gone I pound my fists into the wood Tiny splinters in my skin And in my heart Not hard enough to break But to rattle me to my bones And maybe leave a few bruises Come morning light, they'll be gone What lies before my eyes? Nothing but half mown yard And a broken lawnmower With a broken owner With a broken heart Left by a broken man Come morning light, he was gone And tomorrow will leave Me with lingering doubts And guilt trips aplenty Should I have stopped you Could I have? Could we? I ache to remember Tremble trying to forget And come morning light, you were gone The shed door blows shut And a howling wind takes over I shiver and stand defeated The echos of the past running through My mind as it rewinds Come morning light, it shall be gone --------------- This is one of the very few that comes from my heart completely. The aftermath of a suicide from six years ago. It still hurts.
I have no life Wish I had a knife You filthy bastard you Don't be a coward, there's something new You ugly little whore Just an eye sore You poor little baby, you poor little thing You deserve pain, you deserve the sweet sting Do us a favor and kill yourself now Do us a solid, make yourself proud You've cut to deep Now there's no going back I'm going to sleep And I'm not coming back Now everyone's happy. Aren't they?
A silent cry never heard, A fleeting idea never disturbed A Shadow hidden face flowing with tears A decisive thought laced with fear. The thought of being forever alone and lost in shame, Depression clouding her reason ruled only by ending the pain A lonely stolen night they found her cold on the floor; Her pain gone now forevermore But the pain we feel still bleeds raw within Asking each other why she wanted her life to end Death is rarely rejoyceful; never the right time, always too young But her fire burnt out before it had even begun. As the tears fall from her loved ones' eyes Looking upon the loved soul that will never again rise Goodbye and we pray you find happiness, peace, and love. We walk away and thank the Lord for giving us the best friend we could ever dream of.
Sweet were the days though too few in number When dread was lain over all tomorrows By those whom upon the Rod of Asclepius swore Sending him to seek solace And pass by unseen By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King A blue star burned cold upon his brow In the darkness to proclaim his coming To this place he claimed As the home of his heart To play his part in this most sacred scene By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King Alone he arrived To no greeting or welcome But gladness filled him all-the-same No company would be kept For this final thing By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King There were no songs in the Hall No one to sing Of loves lost or left behind Succored and scoured By compulsive dream By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King No proof against arms was his armor Though many times it had saved him Against ravage and rage of weather Their service no longer in need He laid them before him in offering To the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King Although weakened, quickly he kindled The first glowing embers Coached them and coaxed them So fragile and nascent Till they brought into being The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King His presence in this hostile home Alone would suffice No grief-stricken children Or wailing of women No beeps or buzzes of cold machines Only the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King He dreamt of the First Dawn of his absence And was surprised it weighed nothing Against the many that he was graced to see Contentedly he caressed them Comfortable in his memory By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King. His star dimmed slowly before the First Dawn With dignity dwindled the last flickering flames As cold grew the King On his throne of Stone Set free near the ashes Of The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King Then Alpenglow burst the first rays of day Round the only monument To a life lived like lightning burst forth from the storm So proud stood the peak Glad alone to have seen The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King
If I were to die tomorrow, Would you be filled with sorrow? If you were told I will soon die, Will you, for me especially, cry? If I were found dead, Would you be filled with dread? If you were to witness me dying, Will you realize, all this time, I've been lying? If I were to find relief upon death, Would you feel grief as I breathed my last breath?
Wandering amongst the darkness, my life was in jeopardy A pack of stealthy ferocious wolves, were stalking me like cattle Slitting my throat in fear, blood dripped in pools for the rabid canines *First attempt at Sijo!*
Pain was something that a man loved to inflict. He had four daughters and he was very strict. He demanded control of his wife and daughters. He had two Son-In-Laws who he slaughtered. He murdered his first Son-In-Law for the life insurance money. And he got twice as much cash because it was Double Indemnity. When he blew off his hand for the insurance money, they wouldn't pay him anything. So when he decided to decapitate himself, it was all for nothing. He was eventually brought to justice for the evil that he inflicted. But he wound up not going to prison even though he was convicted. He staged his death to look like murder but he actually committed suicide. He was a very dangerous and evil man, that's something that can't be denied. The things he did were too horrible to contemplate. He left this world at the age of 54 in March of 1978. (This is a true story)
Let me go, gently, into that sleep where the noises cannot reach and lies can not hurt. let the ground covers me with all my worries along
Society is a reason that has just ran cold, Like the tempature I'm feeling never seems to get ahold, The sadness lingers over and the beauty starts to fade, When I saw all the negative on the news today, The darkness that is surrounding me has found a new home, Deep inside my brain it swells trying to kill the bold, The new found confidence I had seems to have been old, Like the old man with the cancer that has just got told, I know he's still with me in my heart and in my soul, but I just can't stand what this new year has to hold, Will it be good for me, will I see, All the positive, when will the demons stop to breathe? There like vultures in my body, I can feel them feed, All this happiness that I held, were they just a dream? I've found a medicene that will kill the pain, of the hurt I share, Your pain it scars me like a knife cutting threw the care, The worry of this generation is not what it should be, But I was left with a gift, I'm lucky too be me. Can I be the light, In the darkness? Can I bare the stake running threw your lungs, Can I be the air that you breathe when the whole worlds died, Can I be the tears in the midst of happiness you cried? Please love me now and in return I'll make your life worth while, and you won't know what is hurt, I'll heal your wounds and take you from your life, Give you a new start and I'll set things right, I see the innocense in a noose every single night, I wish I could pick them off the rope so high, What would drive them too that point, I regret the days I spent, Being so unhappy in the life I live, I'm trying to be proud in a world where it's scarase, Where children have no parents, Where the government is only but single Tyrants, So make my job easy and give me the knife, That will kill these lunatics that crave the night, That don't do whats right, I will train in the darkness where I'm the only light, I will rid the world of there parrell and strife. Please god just save me tonight.
Hello, are you there? I cannot feel around myself A warm tapestry birthing vague memories Coalesce into form My nostalgia's weight collapses on itself Hello, are you awake? Your formless name is on my tongue Sneaking its path forward Away from my mouth I cannot bring myself to say it Hello, are you watching? As if I were a mist My memory coils around you Never to grace the skin That I so covet Hello, are you loving? Cold spears of disregard Pierce my tapestry that I so treasure Tighter my hand grips the face Weaker my hold fades Hello, am I falling? Existence is closing in Its alien distance constricting I see my body for the first time Confounded that it could even be mine Hello, am I scared? A boiler in the mind Breaks at the seems Embrace the others around you As I peel my skin Hello, am I replaced? I stalk my corridor Pacing to reel in thoughts I place the steel upon my skull A bright flash and all is lost I have a mouth But cannot scream Hello... Hello... Hello...
As I wish to die, The darkness sighs, It's silent sigh, Why oh why, Must you make me cry, This pain feels like lye, On my tongue, Because of the pain you, Have caused me, I'm sighing, And crying, Soon I'll be dying,
A room silent and filled with pain I'm about to go insane My head can't think of anything Except the heartache this day brings Why does this happen way to often Flowers placed upon a coffin Of a sad and innocent soul That just went out of control Not knowing to ask for help Trapped and lost inside herself Keeping pain locked up inside Till she could no longer hide From a past of pain and torture She can't deal with no longer A single bullet in a gun One loud shot and it is done Friends, co-workers and family Question why they could not see The demons in this young girls heart Tearing her whole world apart Building up until the day She made it all go away Blood dripping on walls and floor Nothing hurts her anymore
Manifestation Like maple grass shoots Like attack cobwebs Like forlorn lovers Like someone should be addressing the morbid The end The can't The shouldn't These things manifest in my hands Like well fed baby dolls Like those who can't get by Like burgundy tears Like purple lashes That will all melt away soon too Under moss engraved cobble stones Like ear wigs in fresh bark Like hard candy Like a digested apple skin Like goodbye mama Goodbye papa Goodbye sister Eternity to me is pomegranate juice In the bathtub Like decapitated deer Like road kill Like the smell of burnt toast Like frozen peas on a bone bruise Manifesting into a heart The heart Of her The girl saying goodbye mama Goodbye papa Goodbye sister Her kisses take the breeze Like a leaf blower blowing leaves Like smoke from a cigar Like tea kettle steam Like a house in fire Eternity is a bath tub A finger prick One dead end click Of a cell phone A corse rope A belt A necklace too tight An anklet that doesn't fit right A girl blowing kisses in the air saying Goodbye mama Goodbye papa Goodbye sister
Crushing of metal, The sound of breaking glass, Smell of hot engine oil And the heat from burning gas. All mental control was lost, Head throbbing from emotional pain, Vision clouded with remorseful tears As anger pulsed through swollen veins Shaking hands violently shifted gears As dangerous speeds were angrily reached, As hurting words echoed in ears And treacherous corners made tires screech. The road was slick with rain, And the body numb with heartaches pain, Unaware of red lights flashing, Ears deaf to the oncoming train Taken from this world In the proverbial blink of an eye, Without any justification Or a clear reason why. Was it all just for love Or was it for a lie? Was it due to selfishness and pity? Or an unwillingness to even try? Was it fate or just a random event? It's too puzzling yet to decide, Because for all anyone really knows It could have been an act Of emotional suicide
There she remained, Locked away, In a prison all of her own making. She could escape the blueprint if she wanted, But the isolation was her only friend. The pain whispered through the prison bars, Wanting to be felt. Demanding to be felt. She remained motionless in the stillness of night. Locked away, Thinking of ways to change her plight. Her vices, they wrapped around her heels, Like shackles, they kept her still. Soon the pain would creep inside. An all consuming fire, An all consuming fury. We play the hand we're dealt, And she played her game with eloquence. The expert of deceptions. Gone without so much as a rush of wind Just a lovely poem crinkled in her palm. Surrounded by the stale air, The blood around her flowed like a stream, staining the pure porcelain and inking her paper skin. She played her final hand. Won against all odds, that her fate not be determined. Celebrate, For you were acquainted with her presence. Do not mourn for her absence. Freedom, finally. Sweet solitude. Eternal peace and restoration. The end hath created a new beginning. The bones of man shall reincarnate the magnificence of this existence. Live on, Live on, Live on, Live on.
In Hell where I may reside, if death is not on my side. Hunger that weeps to no end, this darkness within my den. As you enter my palace of pain, fear not if you have not to gain. Though previous life proved not, judgement upon fears are sought. And so the righteous shall avenge, in my domain that seeks a revenge. Cannot escape a wrath left in wake, my vengeance is all that keep sake. When I merge the dead with your dreams, absolute power amongst all that screams. Should a hundred years from my death, not exist within the truth spoken breath. Thus my soul is sacrificed for trading, greatest power in all my soul waging. Shall this price not be enough to pay, the wicked shall cower before I prey.
I sit alone in darkness Dripping blood Like midnight rain So dark I think This can't be real The prostitutes are shivering Leaning on the bar They look and turn away I call their names out softly But soon they turn to clay My mind upon the bible As my dreams begin to decay In midnight dreams I am trapped And you're so far away I grasp the cross upon my chest And put it to my lips A final kiss before I go A wish upon your soul Save me now And I'll be true Please don't damn my soul
I'm sitting here in this room, thinking to myself about the past. How I had bloom... though, it didn't last. God, everyday I am lying. Everyday I put on my mask. I always end up crying since no one dares to ask. I stopped talking to my friends, cut them all loose. For this is the end, and we all knew I would lose. Everyone around me thinks I'm better. since all they see are lies. They should know better! Even though I'm in disguise. I put on my fake smile and laugh along with everyone around me. I think everyone is in denial since they can't obviously see They act like nothing happened. like... I faked the whole incident. They honestly don't know what happened, or why I caused that incident. They believe that I was never "broken" just that I wanted attention. I should have never spoken and give them my full attention. No one knows I've been skipping my pills, everyone thinks I take them. Maybe I'm saving them for the kill? Who knows what I plan to do with them. I throw up everyday, only because I've grown used to it. No one understands my ways or why I keep quiet. Sometimes, when I'm alone and I see something I could use to harm myself. I check to make sure I'm on my own and start to look at myself. First, I cry...because I oh so much hate my body. Then, I hurt myself. Proving that I am nobody. and since I'm alone, and with no one else I continue doing this until I see a drop of blood, then it feels like bliss. I continue sometimes, craving the blood. Then when it gets too much, I sit down thinking... no one knows I do such if they did...would they let me drown? I bet they would. Since everyone I have come to love, leaves me..just like they should. because I'm nothing from above. You might think I'm a blessing. ha, I'm a curse. I bet you were messing, and just tried to keep it from getting worse. but let me get this straight, nothing you say or do, will get me to leave this gate. For this gate is where I was left to be on my own. to forget about help. I was always alone, never having anyone's help. Just let me be, I don't need your sympathy. Can't you see? It doesn't matter to me! I'd rather have everyone hate me than have you all pretend because believe it or not, I can see through all your acts that should come to an end. You aren't my friend, so leave me now. This my end, you mustn't know how. I will write back soon, for this is my only comfort. I only shall come at the time of the moon, for that is my hour of comfort.
Plugs you into my world Turns my eyes Looking into my skull Staring at my brain Hoping to see what comes next Takes my heart and rips it out Dying alittle more Shoots my gut And places my brain where my gut once lived Takes my fingers and pushes them into my hand So i just have nubs Takes my head and crushes it Little peices falling Bleeding unto the ground Dying alittle more The unnamed feeling Comes alive Then it takes me away Taking the chill off my life
I was born half human half demon Killer of love I was born with a gun in my hand The Son of a gun Satan Worshiper A Natural Born Killer I walk down the hallway Hiding my gun in my trench coat Wearing my hat backwards My combat boots And my army pants Sunglasses hiding my face I wait for you in the Library As i approach you You run and hide Under a table Me taking my gun out of my trench coat Holding it towards your face You cry Your freaking out Your last tear hits the floor I pull the trigger You were the guy That made fun of me Calling me a freak Tripping me in the hallway Remember throwing bloody tampons In my face? Calling me gay? Telling everyone about my personal pains? Ive got you now You cant hurt me anymore But i can still hurt you Dedicated to ~4-20-99~ "Columbine Massacre" Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold "We can stop bullying, if we honestly tried" "You could have prevented this school shooting, if you would have just listened to the kids who did it"
You're my favorite character In a book that ended abruptly, Remember our wild laughter It's a lollapalooza interrupted. I looked for the next book in your series, But I discovered there was no more, I cannot find any peace or rest, Without some kind of closure. It's just cruel and unfair, You thought no one would care, BUT I DO, God created you perfectly, That's all I could see because I always loved you.
I was supposed to die today Week after week I'd withered away I could no longer face the desperate hours Always reminded that I have no power I have no love and I have no hope No more have I the ability to cope I wanted to die and that was it So I poured a bleach cocktail and began to sip I added some pills just for good measure So tired of nothing bringing me pleasure I downed it all with a few big swallows Then I got comfortable, knowing death should follow I leaned back and waited for the darkness to come And come it did, I was now gone Or so I thought until I awoke On a breathing machine feeling I might choke My mother was there with pure joy in her eyes She wanted to know why suicide I tried She questioned what prompted this unforgivable sin But I felt only disappointment for failing again I wanted to die not wake up here My only answer was a lake of tears for contest: Surviving After Suicide Attempts
In the shadow, behind the tree, on the meadow, bend your knee, down the valley, up the stream, flat bedrock, hear me scream, bellow the heavens, toward hell, dark tunnel, wishing well; fellow traveler listen well, no chance given, could you tell, on a knife-edge, head or tail?
He stands in a black room Full of skinny women he holds dear They stand naked with cuts and bruises They have nothing to care for He worships no god His eyes filled with hatred He grabs a woman Tearing her hair from her very skull He begins to dig his nails into her eyes Changing her into someone he can be fond of This is the flesh that he adores This is the type of women he can treasure With every nail to her chest He idolizes her wretched screams The darkness in his eyes The very pain he likes to see someone endure He desires the blood that drips from her eyes When the dark does what the dark does best You will come to cherish the darkness within yourself.
I'm the One to who you should pray; I'm the Voice that shall never fade away, I'm the Daemon that haunts your 3am sleep, I'm the Whisper that eases your weep... And in this novella, your lissome dreams, I'm your nightmare; your midnight screams! - I'm the Yeshua that can make pain fade, I'm the abolition of the razorblade... Clad in shadow I stalk your soul, Invisible but yet in perfect control. Thus let my voice be your destination Away from a world with flawed harmonization. So why cope with a life so bleak? which has done nothing more but make you weak? Take my hand and I'll assuage it, Follow me down to Death's tethered pit... Here we are, welcome to the Abyss, Don't worry about people, you won't be amiss. Give me a smile, a shotgun smile, Don't worry about pain, atleast not for a while! Aw, how your mind was delicately bent, Like the Eye on the Earth's breast you'll descent, Deep in it's crust, to Oblivion you fell; A warm hearted welcome to Lucifer's Hell...
Slamming the door behind him He sits Writing his poems upon his wall Tiny powerful words surrounding each inch of the room Writing them in black inch He watches as it drips to the carpet He smiles Wiping the blood of his face Putting his hands to the wall Bloody hand prints surround each poem Dying alone on the floor Surrounded in his blood and filth The poems wash off from the walls Black ink forming together on the carpet Blood mixes with the ink The horrific smell fills the lungs of the ones downstairs He sinks into the carpet His flesh swallowed up by his words He isn't living anymore But he rubs off on you by his poems
Sinking in deeper, No way to escape, The dark and scary Reaper, Fore told in the Book of Life. Is this my end? Will I ever see the light of day again? No. My wounds, I must mend. I must find my strength. Stand my ground, Face my fears. Only then will my voice be found I must survive. Break the suffocating chains, Run from the darkness. Power will fill my veins. I will Fight! Fight the painful names, The horrid memories, The demented games And escape My Black Abyss.
They always say you can't be beautiful Without being skinny as a stick But damn it society I want to be seen and I want to be... beautiful in my own way Before the blood drips on the floor from the scratches in my arm from the pain inside my heart don't you understand You're making this too hard on us us girls with a little extra weight us girls with bumps on our face just shut up I'm sick and tired of this This shouldn't have to be my fate I don't want to die to be seen and heard to be recognized as someone beautiful... But isn't that the only way? When a society you thought you knew is telling you that you can't be beautiful without having to fit some social standard that's bull*****don't you understand That's why so many teenagers are dying every day I want to be pretty without having to change is that too much to ask I want to be loved without having to change who I am! By a girl instead of a man Let me live my own life stop telling me that I can't! Society you're killing us all making us take our life because you all can't understand that being who you are is what makes you beautiful But we have to take a knife to our throat to make you all see the beauty inside of us Can't you let us be. I want to be beautiful... but I just don't know how when everyone around me is telling me how to live Make this stop This pain and suffering Let us all be equal A whole No more hurt no more sorrow no more suicide Just make it stop...
My eyes Refuse to see tragedy My eyes Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy And I'm left in my solitude… My eye's sagging…from endless mourning And I'm close to my demise… Only to find myself disappear… When will peace draw near? You don't see What damage you've done Just let me be Leave me alone…hand me a gun I yearn for unspoiled glory To make me feel perfect once more I yearn for flawless serenity To make me feel no regret…don't ignore My calls…don't hang up on me You don't see What damage you've done Just hear my plea Listen to my excruciating cries… Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies Our journey has just begun And I'm left in my solitude… Do you hear me weeping? And I'm close to my demise… Only to find myself disappear… When will peace draw near? Eye can't handle the stress Let me release my horrendous distress Eye can see you making that same mistake At least MY life isn't at stake And I'm left in my solitude… My eye's weeping…do You feel my lament And I'm close to my demise… Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement I'm aching with discontent… I abhor this torment When will peace scrub off my fear? I can't believe my eyes Your guiltiness flows into me… I can't believe I fell for your lies Your heartless action rape my mind…you don't see What my EYES see… You'll never see How much pressure you put me under Unchain me from this chamber And watch me flee… When will you be set free?
I can't breathe, I can't sleep all I want is to slumber deep I want the pain and hurt to go away and not come again another day. My chest feels tight my knees feel weak my loneliness has reached its peak I'm sad and depressed with my life that I feel can change with the slice of a knife. Look at me and what do you see? But a sad lonely girl sleeping peacefully.
Remember that rhyme about sticks and stones? How broken bones hurt more than the names that were thrown? Remember how in grade school everyone was our valentine? Now we can't find the time To gather the courage to speak our minds About the person we want to call "mine" Remember how we used to believe in fairy tales? Now love fails us and broken heart strings imprison us like jail Apparently our parents lied When they said we'd die next to the person we loved like husband and wife Now adolescents lie at night praying to die Some will tie a noose Some will bleed out and let loose Some will grab their Dad's gun and shoot for the moon But I might just pop pills to kill the will to spill Blood in the sink And to think a bitter drink was more distinct We all want to be adults, but as kids it just results In insults and the real adults think our music is a cult It's never been said But without music most of the youth would be dead So we lie in bed with our headphones Blaring until we're deaf toned In a dead zone now head home This is for the poppers, the purgers, and the starvers And the smokers and the cutters Because we feel like we can never love another so forget the others We live for our sisters or brothers The ones who still have a chance at life So we teach them to live it right Because we know what it's like to fight for your life every night And you cry Wishing someone might come and find you And look in your eyes And tell you how much they like you Despite all the lies and frights you find inside of you But you somehow keep your hopes up even if you're doped up You still show up to school hoping to grow up But we just get picked on So listen to this song If you're giving up on living it up Some say suicide silences secreted screams So drown demons deliberately within deep dreams Very often we debate suicide as an option without caution Since we're going to hell we might as well drop in Yes words hurt more than broken bone You're all beautiful. You just got to let it show.
Of course I'm fine, why do you ask? Oh don't mind this, it's just my mast, It hides the grief, it hides the strife, I wear this mask, to escape the knife, Don't forget this, my pain is real, I'm not lying, this is how I feel, You sit there saying, it can't be true, It is for me, just not for you, You say my heart, must be a sight, Cold as ice, and black as night, It's not my heart, only my soul, But killing me, must be your goal, You're getting close, I hope you know, You really don't, have far to go, Soon enough, I'll reach my end, You'll have my soul, to tear and rend, But you don't know, you never ask, You never look, beyond the mask, The look on my face, is giving me away, I wonder now, what will you say? You've asked me here, you'll know now, I'll take it off, I'll take a bow... I can't do it now, tell you the truth, I must keep up, my pretense of youth,
I put the gun to my head To where all can see But even if you wanted You can't stop what will be I pull the trigger And put the bullet in my head To where all can witness The blood of the dead Some will weep Some will cry Some will mourn And some will die I'm sorry for what I'd do I'm sorry if I might But there's just no use In showing me the light
i. there is a drop of scarlet in the glass of vicissitudes–– a taint of shadows in a fluorescent room. its shape baring teeth at the reflection in my mind. "a false portrayal of self-actuality", concludes the shrinking voice of a certified delusionist. she says that my bones are brittle and my skin is worn but no– that, no, that is not me my entity is solely defined by my despondent thoughts and my cracking fragility interlaced with streaks of red and black and blue blue like the broken veins that engrave my skin in a constant reminder of who i am and who i will never be ii. two drops now i will never be the smile on her face in the waters or the laughter from her imperfections splayed out against a white wall or the solid self-assurance of a growing leader. and i will never be the consummate words that grace a meal with gratitude at the end of the day (thank you lord) thank you to this body that has tried its best and to this mind that bleeds in the grasp of its masochistic owner thank you for the strangled lips that have spoken my lies and to these eyes that have seen the world in delusory in all its grandeur. iii. the imminent red flows in an addled solution of thick and thin, its path changing so fluidly fluid like the love in my heart that cowers from myself yet peels its flesh for everyone else; as solid as the robust affirmation vibrating through my bones that cries in joy at its sublimity and in my head i hear the people ask, "why cant you just learn to love yourself?" oh– but dont you understand? i do. i do love myself. i love the way my eyes shine with tears and how my teeth glow from soundless words that emerge from the gaps of tenebrosity and the way my heart sighs contentedly in its barren aspiration i love the way i have run out of tears and words to define this agony, silence screams betraying me and endorphins refusing its exoneration and since i cannot do all this, i let myself replace letting salt out from my sore eyes with the release of iron from my scarred wrists iv. and in my hand the glass shatters and a sea of scarlet deluge my ipseity in a boundless suffocation
The cries in the night as you shed your tears, Nobody to console and hear your fears, The nightmares as the take control, Now I shall show you my other face, Let the nightmares take your peace, Let the damnation steal your joy, There is nothing left for you There was never anything here for you Death is a note, thats beauty is black, As the fire inside let it burn you alive, Death is friend that will take your pain, Let your pain fester, and infect, Do what you wish before I interject, Death is brother who needs your love, The Funeral Pyres burn your soul. Welcome to world where damnation reigns, We all will die someday, And Death will one day rule us all, its inevitable why try to hide, Never to be loved to never to love, Death is a note, A note that rules you
This sadness is seeping Leaking, spilling out Of every cell in my body. Craving a bullet A rope Or pills To End This Pain.
The darkness surrounds me, It's getting so cold, I'm all alone, With no one to hold, My world is so empty, All thats left is pain, No sunshine to light my way, Just neverending rain, I drown in tears, My heart is crying, No one seems to notice, My soul is dying,
Oh, my dear, Come to me. Hear my screams, Set me free. I'm trapped, Inside my mind. I haven't snapped, But I've gone blind. Help me see, I've lost my way. You won't believe, What I'm about to say. I'm stuck inside, Once more. I can't be your bride, You'll find me on the floor. I lost my voice, When I needed care. I had a choice, It wasn't a dare. I've no more air, I took my last breath, But to you I swear, I'll see you after death. *Written on November 5th, 2013
She lies in a pile of bloody red roses She left a note to her folks saying " I cant go on im sorry" It didnt say why But still we cry We are all very sad some of us are mad none of us are glad She'll b greatly missed To me she was like a sis But when will the rumors stop Noone knows the truth not even the cops My pain is great I wish we hadnt been late But when we got there there she lay on her already made bed of Bloody red roses
I'm tired in this drop The walls are all the same I'm soaked now In the midst of deteriorating It hurts more than normal I think it's broken The light up top is gone now Just like the one down here Oh well… oh well. The love inside the teardrops Has turned to the coldest rain Now there's just the pain It's settled in my chest Eating at my insides Feeding at the dead lives The end will not come quickly Not even quietly For now, I just sigh at thee
Walking into the graveyard Sitting on the bench Lights a cigarette Looks at the gun He has been hiding In his jacket Thinking to himself He calls his girlfriend And tells her everything She doesnt do anything to stop him He continues walking around in the graveyard Remember his mom How she wasnt there for him How everything was his fault She loved her students more than him He gets upset Daylight reaches the cemetary He walks to his home Walking inside Seeing his mom Starring at her face He shoots her He walks down to the school Telling them his kids were there He was there to check on them They let him inside 20 little children in a classroom He took his gun And shot them Then leaving the room and shooting 7 faculty members Everything is silent The other classrooms are locked He stands in the middle of the hallway Falling to his knees Crying Figuring out what he just done He comtenplates If he should shoot himself or not With one pull of the trigger He kills himself The media eats this story up Publicly veiwing everything Telling people They talk about it for days the type of attention he needed See the problem now? you can thank the media 20 little angels now rest with god for christmas 7 adults stand by there sides God rewarding each of them for there good deeds The shooter reunitues with his own demons I am very sorry to the families who had lost these children My peom is very blunt And in my own words
All goes awry, Things fall apart, Your life in shambles, Your broken heart, The choice is yours to stay or go, You contemplate this at your all time low, Feelings of worthlessness, Thoughts of dread, You should enjoy life, But have anger and pain instead, Why bother with the every life, When in the end it brings nothing but strife, So the end is near, The decision is made,
A meteor falls down from the stars Catching fire the faster it falls She sits in her new house Sitting in the window seat Reading a book about wild love And how fast it grows and catches fire She watches the meteor shower from her window She hears a noise coming from the hallway She creeps around the corner As she follows the sound to the attic She opens the creaking attic door A young man sits before the window In an old red chair Half falling apart He is facing her With the back of the chair facing the window The attic door slams shut She gasps for air She is very afraid He speeds and surely stands before her Face to face They meet He asks her "who are you?" she replies "Amelius, you?" He moves back as he turns and his back faces her "Eric" He moves towards her slowly And disapears A few days past She wonders where he is She sits in the attic and waits for him He appears behind her She explains to him that she feels like she knows him He sits by her on the bed he explains there past life together He returned to meet with her again She died in a bathtub He was holding her Trying to wake her up from the pills she took She died After her funeral He committed suicide She moved on and became reborn again He didnt because he was stuck in the past He kisses her cheek And she stands in awe She does drugs in her new life One night she was driving home She was on acid And she ran into a tree She was dead on the scene He shows up and pulls her out of the car She thanks him for saving her He reaches to hold her hand "your cold" She looks at him "what? you mean im.." He says "yes" They leave together in peace Where they should have been in the begining His ghost soul is 46 years old But his age of which he died is 19 She was 17 when she died the first time The second time she died she was 19 her ghost soul is 23 years old Love has no age
Monday: Nothings new with me today, I go to school alone and afraid I see your happiness and I am safe I go home sit alone in my lonely room crying myself to sleep knowing I mess everything up. Tuesday: Nothings new today except I faked my sickness to cry in my room instead of seeing you, Cause i know no one cares then I paint a picture on my wrist saying 'i will leave this world alone'. Wednesday: Nothings new today went to school and cried in the hall nothings new with me today I'm alright and that's all you know. Thursday: Nothings new today I went to school and saw your face I said hi and you smiled once again I am safe I went back home and paint another picture and letters and wrote your name deep in my wrist.. Friday: nothings new today I saw you and said goodbye.. Saturday:I am alone like always, I hold back all my tears and sorrow and swallow all my pills that I kept away from me for a while until this day.. now i'm gone Sunday: I still fill the pain I've had all my life . But somethings new today .. I am no longer alive
The poetry I write seems harsh it seems sad and powerful, sings songs and pslams to the sorrowful soul, sung its song in the past of sorrow in all. The poet's blood flows like champaign on a wedding day of young couples in love. Champaign that flows like rivers and streams in the green plains of Mid West America, and the poet writes about the land and the bird that sings afar in a tall, old oak tree thick at barch with experience and age. The soul burns and cries out to be freed, yet sits and reads poetry till the crack of dawn in an old apartment house on the second floor, and the rats run along the walls, and the cockroaches in cerial boxes, with shotgun in lape and cocked, ready to fire, one in the chamber. Whiskey in the lungs, and whiskey on the ground, in the hand and upon the feet of a sorrowful soul, filled with pain and age, age full of tender love that never was discovered by any naive soul. One time the clock ticks and tocks, echoes rings in an empty mind, that echoes the sorrowed mind and tortures the pale soul. One pull of the trigger, and the sound of an explosion of faint silence and a smile on a face of a dead man is shown in the light, and watch the blood flow on the white pannel wall, flowing like champaign on a beautiful wedding day. Two weddings and a funeral... -11-1-2013-
Pulling up his pants I think he's already forgotten me Smeared lipstick and a handful of twenty's Dirty condoms laying on couch, the bed, and the floor He gives me a mischievous wink and out the door Now i'm angry at what I've done A filthy whore with cheap discreet fun Laying on my bed it smells like sex My life has always been cursed like a hex No worries i've got a way to take away the pain Pulled the trigger on my twenty two and blew out my brain
He cuts throats too, my dear friend Ramsay! How can I sing myself to comfort, Sing wonderfully, as my father brags, With a cut throat!? Perhaps the draining of my fluids shall be our killer's lullaby, As he sleeps soundly with the soothing flow Of my newly dead blood! With an uncertain sigh, I now stand alone, quaking! Cruel thought imagining despairing fate How could Ramsay have so much faith in a cowardly girl When faith is simply what she lacks? She is out to find an evil one unseen, A twisted fiend that can be he that passes—or he! Where shall she go from here? Surely she cannot stand in this spot forever; The rain has already chilled the coward to the bone, When all she has on for warmth, the foolish child, Is a thin old sweater? But, ah, her bone is to be chilled once more, And the weather, I'm afraid, will not be the cause. . . -this is a dark soliloquy of a character in an unfinished play about Jack I wrote... maybe a couple years ago? I gottah put a date on these things! Haha-
Better Without I try so hard Not to become my fathers son I try so hard To be a father sculpted by Michelangelo Painted by da Vinci Faced with failure Endless denial Self deception To deny the truth I am a father designed by an earless madman I question are they better without Trapped in a Divine Comedy Inferno is Alpha and Omega I wish there was a cure Sadness filled with madness Meds cannot take away A brain still in pain How do you apologize When the illness lets them down The more I write The clearer it becomes They may be better without They love the mania Hate the downs Flick the switch From mania to a ditch Turning from this to that They never know which dad I'll be Denying them the comfort of stability Please don't let them be better without What am I then? A cancer to my family They know I am sick They know daddy isn't the same Wishing he was someone else Transparent they see what's inside They hate my illness Hating myself That shame and stain forever remains They now question are they better without Face-to-face with this question Like a coward I hide In denial My blanket of lies I am their painting of a father A father my son doesn't want to become The question has been answered They are better without By: Tim Lundmark
My mind is dirt and this soil my curse The seeds you plant in this heat make me worse I just get so nervous, like I should believe So perhaps I am wicked and not meant to be And the steam that is rising Intoxicates quickly I have grown pale and swollen and sickly Crocodile, crocodile, dry off your eyes And take back your sorrowful, meaningless lies I dream of your lovers, I wish for their deaths Inside plastic bags, I will keep their last breaths And with confined sighs, go north for a rest I will leave with my murders and nothing will matter Hot into cold, my love it will shatter Beneath a deep snow, I will hibernate sweetly And sleep off this hatred that binds me completely I'll pluck all my hairs, I'll spin them for thread To sew up the gashes I've put in your bed And with mattress mended, go sleep with the dead And the water that drips Is forming a knife My cheeks will be rosy devoid of past strife My thoughts will be still when the earth has gone hard The roots of your anger will leave my heart scarred I just get so anxious, with all I believe So perhaps I am wicked and not meant to be
The thing about life is that it can end in an instant When the rope of the harsh words wraps tightly around your Neck squeezing tighter and tighter you just want to jump To end it all to end all the pain and the hatred and words It is not only the words that push you over the edge It is too the fists and the feet that slam into you Over and over without a break with out letting up Making you break down and slide down the wall and cry and cry and cry One phone call can save a live, stopping that jump Stopping the self hate and spreading the love The love i have for you will never fade or die and i hope will make you better to sleep and to be able to be Happy again to be happy forever and always with me just remember and know that it's NOT YOUR FAULT
"This time we will show them all how much we mean" Walking into the school Short blonde hair Stunning blue eyes Wearing make up on his face The paint on his face Is a skilled drawing of a skull As he passes Everyone starres He keeps walking foreward Not looking at them She enters through the other end of the hallway Long blonde hair Deep brown eyes Also wearing makeup on her face A skilled drawing of a smaller skull All the girls she passes Starre at her Wondering what kind of girl would Wear makeup like that The Boy and the girl Meet in the middle of the hallway They hold eachothers hands And continue down the hallway Seeing them from behind You read on his backpack "I gave you my bullets..." And on her bag you can see "And i gave you my love" They walk out of the school together All the teachers starring All the students watching there every move They walk straight out to his car A black Mustaine 1998 Before they get to the bridge He ties there hands together They drive 10 miles To a bridge Theres a hill A bridge And a river Hes going 90 mph She clinches his hand He looks at her with a smile on his face She looks back at him pale as a ghost The car jumps over the bridge into the river The lovers dying on empact Forever tied together by The rope he tied earlier Like a bed of roses Theres alot of reasons Why we are laying here As we are falling down into The pool of blood I see your eyes I mean this when I say forever.
the days go dark i sit in this park its lonly and cold but these feelings are old iv seen it before shes out the door i slit my wrists and my blood slowly twists down my arm and off my hand my life is fading and its so sweetly bland i bleed for you but you never knew the slow downfall of my life and all its miserable,sad and funny to how much i really care for you its ok now my life is fading but no one knows i only evading the sadness of losing and heartbreak, blood oozing the white light draws near its almost over from here i love you my dear you touched my heart now its time i fell apart its me not you see the picture i drew thats my blood my note of suicide im sorry im not ok im the one who lied its over my life has finaly reached its ending sleep well my love enjoy this last text im sending
She lives in misery, She goes to school where she gets bullied, pushed around, and called names, Her parents hate her, She has no friends, and her whole world is dark, No one likes her, Sometimes she wonders if anyone would care if she killed herself. She cries herself to sleep, A lost soul, The one who relies on her bands and music to carry her through, The one who grabs the razor blade, She cuts fast, deep, and hard, She likes the cold metal, she likes the blood that comes down, She likes that burning feel, she loves the relief, Many people call her a little emo *****, All she wants is for people to leave her alone. Many people says she does this for attention, But all she wants is to be happy, She thinks maybe if she ends it all, Everyone would be happy, and live in peace, She thinks they would never know she was gone. She walks home from school on a rainy Tuesday afternoon, She goes through the door, Right up those steps, She takes the pills and blade out. She takes all sixty pills of Oxycotton, And then she starts cutting, first just across her wrist, and then she had a twist, She painted a picture onw wouldn't surely miss, She wrote on her arm, "All I wanted was love." Her mother found her first, She cried so much, Her father came in and comforted her mum, No tears he had shed, Her brother came in next and fell to his knees, He saw all the blood and knew something was up, He asks their mum, "Mummy why isn't sissy breathing and blood everywhere?" She replied faintly, "Dear, your sister was unhappy." He was much too young to understand. The girls that bullied you now get bullied, That boy that never admitted to liking you cuts and cries, Your exfriend cries and tries committing suicide, Your teachers try to hold it together, but lose it, Your brother grew older and found the truth about his older sister. The one he loved so much, and wanted to be like her, All the pain she endured. He found her iPod, He takes it with him everywhere, He remembers his sister and the bands she loved, And now he loves them, He cuts to rid the pain, He only wants to be with her again. But he carries out her legacy everyday, Knowing that is what she would want him to do, And he did this all thanks to her. She's tried to stop him, Was beside him while he cut, Tried pushing the blade away, She's a living dead girl, Nothing she could do nor say, To make him put that blade away.
Across the cool, blue ocean, a love will wait, but maybe not. Two halves that make a whole, impossibly perfect, or so they thought. For she found another half that fits like they were made to be together. But the deserted half still whispers, "I'm yours", as the tears fall. Broken. Cracked. Fragile. Never to be whole again. And as she thinks about who she left, She regrets it, because the sea calls to her, lamenting her choice and speaking of his broken heart. She goes to the water and stands waist deep. The sea shows her his agony, and it makes her heart bleed, soon she will breathe her last. Blood dripping into the sea to fix his shattered being. Drop by drop he will be renewed, but she must cease to exist. Blood falling into the sea until the last drop has left her body. Her reward for breaking him, is breaking herself.
One year I went to a summer school. And there was a girl there With shining eyes and An award winning smile. She was kind to everyone and Excluded no one. She always laughed with others But you could go to her when you needed it. We talked for hours and Quickly became friends. Last year I went back to summer school. The girl was still there. She had sad eyes but Kept the award winning smile. She was kind to everyone yet Excluded herself. She never laughed properly But you could always go to her when you needed it. We talked for mere minutes and I guess I lost a friend. This year when I went to summer school The girl was no longer there. Rumours of suicide surrounded Her name And no one was kind to us all. Everyone excluded their-selves. Silence consumed every thought and moment Because no one was there when we truly needed it. Memories of talking haunted me and I couldn't help but miss my friend.
Another poem that I wrote alone, Another one that blossomed from woe. Will this be the last poem I'll writ? The gift from the Goddess thrown in a pit? Have I deicided the Moon's tallow dreams; A divulged matricide to noose bind gleams. Why is it suicide I clearly heed, Carpe Diem, Alas I bleed. Mother Moon have I annulled you, or do You feel each mourning too? One were You weren't pulled to plunder, And vulgar glooms ain't our thunder... Our flagrent gospel played on the violin, Like my veins we cut the strings! Maybe it was only more attention I required? Ply it with the girl I vast desired... Now frisson will our final chords, Through the bleeding of silver swords. The Moon hung severed and bloated high. Hope outlast... By my inevitable nigh... I wanted love, even if it would be paper thin, So it wasn't only the blade to swim within! there's no time to be afraid of fear; 'Cause I'll be hung like graveyard tears... Death my Dark Messiah!
I was born in the Valley of Shadows and Death, They say I'm alive, Just scars I wont forget. I remember that kid, An orphan that just wanted to die. They took him to the woods, Murdered him with a scythe. We all have our demons and horrors to defy, Our lust and our hate to recognize. Save me from the only one I've ever known, Save me from the pain of my yesterdays. They crawl in my bed in the middle of the night, They scream and they cry, Saying it will all be alright. If I let you in yo'd just want out. There's no one left to cry for us now. I can't do this on my own... Don't go...
Bleeding bleeding bleeding, How do i make it stop. I wrap it with my shirt, or tie it off with my belt, but everything is for not. Bleeding bleeding bleeding, this gives me time to think. As I lay here all alone, The truth is what I drink. Bleeding bleeding bleeding, it will finally stop, no doubt. There was never a need to think about it, My cares have all bled out.
Guilty!!! Guilt turns to anger then turns to stupidity! If it was good nothing would be wrong! If you had stopped he wouldn't be gone! You are guilty! Lives are ruined! Believe these feelings and make amends before it's too late! Chances are slipping away like the life that is gone. Guilty!!! -
She sits in her room every night She thinks to herself 'Is it worth it?' She stares at the shining blade Drags it to her wrist and pushes it down Out comes the blood Running freely She feels free For a second she forgets about all the pain For a second she's happy Then reality slaps her in the face Do it. The rope's lying on the floor She picks it up and ties it around the ceiling fan She knew exactly what she had to do next She stands on the chair and ties the rope around her neck The video camera's still rolling She has the remote in her one hand She looks into the video camera and says 'I'm sorry mom and dad. Just know it was never your fault. It was mine,dont blame yourselves. i could'nt keep the fight up any longer. I was destined to lose. I love you.' She kicked the chair over an once she did the video camera went dead. Dead Silence.
Once upon a nightmare Lived a child, born so still A hopeless life bestowed To a conscience lacking will Nowhere, was innocence The girl discovered sin Concerned of nothing now Unaware of storms within And so the mourning came Gloomy farewell to dreams Numbness somehow aching Though useless, began her screams Post-mortem existence Enslaved by every thought Years spent self-destructing Finding silence with a shot
Sandman, I had a difficult dream. "Tell me about it." he said as he touched my tears I was in a cabin with a good friend and the solstice. He said "I'm tired and I want to drift off to sleep." I told him it's fine and that he can stay by the fire. We'll make our minds retrieve the thoughts of the lake And, later, we shall greet the northern lights Cloaking the year that was as it passes us by Sandman, I had another dream. I don't think I have it in me to press on it seems. When I opened my eyes I saw him breathe his last. A letter in his hand said he'll find rest in the afterlife. "I was waiting for you to hold my hand but then I knew You're complete now that your heart isn't a wandering fool. If I found our happiness, then I won't ask for anything more. Except maybe one thing and that's for me to move on." Sandman! I had a dream. "Will you tell me how your world came to be?" I'm indebted to my old friend so won't you please Make him run with his true love in never-ending sleep #1855: SANDMAN ©Jake Ponce [December 31, 2014, 2:00pm] neptunerune.tumblr.com neptunerune.blogspot.com neptunerune.deviantart.com facebook.com/neptunerune twitter.com/neptunerune instagram.com/neptunerune
Never again will I see the rain cascade in front of me, never again will I hear a birds gentle melody. This hole I dug was too deep, the measurement reading six feet. I hear the screams of those that came before, walking straight ahead, through hells door. If only you were there you could've stopped the madness. My wrist lay bare, with the final slash of sadness. I leave this world, as a broken soul. With a promise that ill return again, right and whole.
Something bout her makes her crave crave the addiction she's dying to need told her, she needs to walk away because the addiction just isnt worth the strain, but there she stood outside the rain calling for a man that never came In her velvet room wrapped in leather an lace, she was singing for the things money cant buy wondering if she'll ever make it out alive I told her, nothing lasts forever nothing ever changes when your sable on blonde She tried living life in the fast lane, but ended up with heartache tonight people told her to take it easy, but she died in that house on the hill
The Suicide Summer By Kevin Robey August 5, 2013 It's the end of summer, when rhymes will end I'll say goodbye to them, and all of my friends It's the end of days, as far as I'm concerned I never thought that I'd make it to this turn After all this time, the wounds are too deep After all the battles, the price too steep Doesn't matter if you blame me for your scars Sticking around this long, it's gone too far I tried my best, can't breathe anymore Keep the manufactured smile I wore It was all just a way to buy some time The fire never stopped, your hand holding mine I'll never be saved, don't push religion my way I appreciate the thought, but I'll burn anyway There never was a question; faith got me this far But answers were short; the punch lines bizarre Reading this now, you'll pick up the phone Put down your concern, just leave me alone Wash your hands of this diseased catastrophe Just walk away as I drift off to calmer seas As the lazy waves lap across my unshaven face My bright eyes fade to grey with style and grace I remember the chaos as the peace overwhelms Smile one final time with the angels at the helm
Walking up the stairs She lays on the floor He runs Holding her cold body in his arms He lets a tear fall from his eye Dragging her down the stairs and into the cellar He lays her on the canvas they painted on the floor He spreads her arms and legs out Pointing them the direction of North, South, West and East He places four candles around the circle Lighting them with his lighter He sits and watches as he pours the hot wax on her face He cuts around her eyes, slowly taking her eyes out Gluing her eye lids shut covering them with the wax once again He cuts her up in pieces Scattering her in art forms Admiring her beauty He places her eyes in a glass jar Wrapping her hands around a picture frame He places her face on his ... as a mask Gluing her face unto his He lays on the canvas that is now covered in blood He moves around His clothes covered in her blood He watches through her eyes The world she once saw He places her face back on the canvas He shuts off all the lights and walks up the stairs Looking in the bathroom he saw the drug she has been taking He cuts it up and sniffs it He lays on the floor shaking Crawling down the stairs to the cellar door Trying to move but he cant move any further His heart stops beating but hes still alive The minute he had left He opened the door And rolled down the cellar stairs Landing on the canvas His face next to hers "How its hurts now that your gone Its so wrong"
Dont follow me I am the thing that should not be Nothing left to see How could you blame me? I got kicked out of school Im nothing but a failed soul Waste of life Killin myself with every type of knife I chose the wrong path Couldnt find my other half Soon i will disapear Nothing... im not going to share You dont not care Im not telling you what you want to hear These ending days youll live in fear You dont like the things i wear Falling into more dispare Into the skies Further into the stars You will see 12-12-12 My ending is here
Last Prayer Now I lay me down to sleep Medication Russian Roulette Praying to the lord my soul he shall keep Please God don't let me awake I yearn to embark on this slumber A slumber which knows no end Closing my eyes; never to open again The one thing I ask dear Lord May my loved ones never weep For embarking on my eternal sleep By: Tim Lundmark
Whenever you see my face, please try not to cry, for i'm in a much better place, as i did not die. I just knew it was time to embrace, begin a new life, and so i knew i could not stay, so i said goodbye. Whenever you see my face, think of all the times, the promises we made, make no mistake i'm keeping mine. Think back to the days, endless hours we'd write, think of what i'd say, if i could see you one last time. Whenever you see my face, smile but please don't cry, because although i'm so far away, this is not goodbye.
The last hour You took your last breath. The last hour You spoke to mom and dad That last hour Never got to hear your voice That last hour I never got to say goodbye That last hour I never got to say, "I love you, bro!" That last hour I didn't see you go in your corvette That last hour I didn't know you had a gun That last hour I was sleeping Thinking everything's ok Til I woke up, found out, YOU WERE GONE!!!!!!!
Oh, Kate comes from a broken home Where life's just not that good. She wants so much to make it work If she only thought she could. And several times, it's crossed her mind The thought of suicide. It hurts so much. It just won't end. The pain she feels inside. And Julia has a way with words. She knows just what to say. Yes, she can make you feel real bad Or she can make your day. She walks around her high school halls Always putting people down. She laughs at them and scoffs and mocks. She loves to see them frown. One day at school the two girls met And Julia jumped right in. She made fun of Kate's hair and clothes And then she laughed and grinned. She called her names and would not stop As Kate began to cry. The bullying became too much. Kate ran away to hide. The next day when the school bell rang, The principal had said That Kate won't be at school today Because, he said, she's dead. He said that she had killed herself Because the day before, Yes, she was hurting deep down and Couldn't take it anymore. She left a note that would explain The reason that she's dead. A bully pushed her way too hard With hurtful words she said. And then when she realized What she did with her words, Yes, Julia then apologized To ev'ryone she hurt. She asked them for forgiveness and Said she never will again Say mean, cruel words to any one From now until the end. The next time that you tease someone, Just please, stop first and think The person that you're teasing, well Just might be on the brink Of saying that they've had enough. Their life they want to end When the one thing that they really want Is just to have a friend
Triangle Squares and crooked lines Imagine this within the minds Of those confused and lost in a way I can't put in words I can't even say They were brought in this world for a reason I know Maybe to suffer maybe to show How lucky we are to be free from a state Of mental confusion Destruction high rate Suicide.....
How thin is the line between love and death? A poet's mind's length; a fine, raven hair's breadth. I remember clearly all those sweet times We lay after sex; all the low clock chimes With your head on my heaving, breathless chest; The nights without you; alone; cold at best. Between thumb and finger I twist the bond, The rope which we played with; with which so fond. Muscle memory reties naughty knots; As my mind's projector plays those old thoughts; It's ironic; those ties that gave us joy Should end all the pain in this tragic boy; That the rope with which I tied fast her hands Should snatch my soul out from the Devil's plans. I slip down that knot; fasten the rafter, As I kick that chair, I hear her laughter.
The world spins as I stand still Trees grow as I Shrink Looking in a mirror is alike a big Black Hole With nothing but disastrous toils My heart is Shattered in tiny, tiny Microscopic pieces I no longer have a soul My Hopes and Dreams as all disappeared My taught are lost within a razor blade Jumping off the San Francisco Bridge or Eiffel Tour has always been a desire Hanging myself is a priority but living life to the fullest is my biggest enemy I plan what i want to be en carved on my tombstone" REST IN PIECE YOUR NOW FREE FROM THIS DISASTROUS PALACE" My heart is a Dark Paradise My razor as become my Paintbrush and my skin the Canvas I have discovered that cutting is my bliss Sitting on the floor, crying for more as my body screams in pain Trying to move but my hands are stuck Trying to get up but i'm restrained My masterpiece is disturbing yet creative People think they are just scars but they are a history book based on my life My art work is all over my body Watching blood flows feel great As I laugh in the face of death I may have a smile on my face but I also have cuts on my wrist My soul grows cold like a tombstone Don't ask me to unmask my demons As my Demons as already won.
Drowning in dismay, the Will is fading away. A familiar touch, nothing changes so much. As Life creeps out, behold the crimson carpet unfold. At ajar doors, what is left to adore? From afar they revel, delighted by how you fell. Shutting gates,twisting keys, burning bridges now leave... Traveling to beyond the bounds, leaving behind what is not fond. The journey to find a pinch of joy, doesn't often destroy?
I dance in and out of your peripheral vision I'm not really sure you see me at all you see the empty spaces I take up I want to be more than what I merely represent to you to everyone I wish to be the fragile doll porcelain eyes a non existent heart A broken girl A china chipped soul A center as black as coal I need more than I could possibly get the empty void a silent voice and the glittering blackness all around Trembling hands, coffee and cigarettes to drown the pain to ignite my feeble mind getting colder still bones are aching tired eyes sunken hollow lies I'm fine I'm fine Escape to fantasy life running away from the harsh reality of real life Playing Alice in wonderland games falling down the rabbit hole easy to go down never to return to the infinite sun Heart beating slow I can't stay too afraid to go a cowards call to the silver tinted knife The girl I merely represented has died
It's hard for me to explain, how I feel, these emotions I'm having, or how to deal, I can't get over, what's going on, and I don't want to believe, that your really gone, I keep wishing to see you, for one last time, you were so wonderful, caring, and in your prime, I would tell you, "I LOVE YOU", and I need you so, and that I never, ever, want you to go.
You suffered from depression and Bipolar Disease. Your suicide has driven the entire world to its knees. You were so talented that talent isn't a big enough word. I wish you hadn't died, that's what I would've preferred. To become the terrific actor that you were, charm and talent were what it took. Everybody loved your movies, especially Good Morning Vietnam and Hook. You began your career as Mork and then you became Popeye. Billions of people are saddened and devastated to see you die. I have something to say that is one hundred percent true. You were a brilliant actor and everybody on Earth loves you. [Dedicated to Robin Williams (1951-2014) who died on August 11, 2014.]
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest. His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best. He knew you were in pain, he knew your world was grey and full of rain. The struggles you had, the challenges that was given to you. You could not take. The day he took you, he called the angels, to fly you above..
Teenage Suicide is taking over Its stuck in our head that its a good idea Its stuck in our head that we wont be missed That death is a good thing That it will end all of our problems That we will be free, no suffering, no regret But its all a lie You take your life You leave others to suffer To think its our fault that you are in pain We blame, we mourn, we're in denial Teenage suicide is taking over You take your life to end the suffering You shut us out, you leave us here, you kill us when you kill yourself Death is not the way, allow people to help you, when a hand is offered; take it When a ear is there ready to listen; talk When a shoulder is there to cry on; soak it with you tears Don't let death be the only way out Teenage suicide is taking over Take a stand And help end it
Broke. Blind. Bitter. so down, down Cold. Cringe. Cutter. bore down, down Drift. Dark. Danger. crawl down, down Edge. End. Enter. kneel down, down Fate. Fall. Final. lay down, down Gore. Gasp. Mother! dark found, found.
He sits there, looking around his room. Light and sunny outside, but yet inside his room there was a darkness. He covered himself with his blankets, hearing the crackling of the walls. Keeping still, his hair rose upon his skin. Feeling the sudden coldness around him, an odd feeling upon his chest. He had thoughts of what it was. Still he sat there, upon that moment a loud sound came from the walls. As if someone kicked it, the feeling of being watched fell upon him. He didn't dare close his eyes, small pictures fill his mind. The sudden uneasiness once again filling him. He closed his eyes, he will always live this nightmare. This darkness grows each day, getting stronger and stronger. Until it swallows the light we call innocence.
Her Dream Poor little blond Nazi mermaid gal. So pretty. So unhappy. Captured by Soviet forces. Due to be experimented on. Turned into a weapon. Escapes captivity. Jumped her cage. On the window ledge looking down. Many floors up. Moves about, anxious. Soviet guard sees swastika tattoos back of her hands. Give up! Never! Wants to be free. Fed up of tyranny. Nazi and Soviet the same. She jumps! Powerful tail sending her into space. Hitting opposite wall, rebounding off. Striking the ground, dead. Finally free. Pretty Nazi mermaid no longer a prisoner or experiment.
Sadness surrounds me Like falling snow Piling up all around Deadening the sounds That come with our world Floating through the air Out of control Falling Falling An open field where Snow erases individualism Hiding the beauty Nothing stands out Blank
She sits there Trying not to cry Thinking of the ways She could die And just wondering A simple question, why Why couldnt she just go And lie In her grave Without people wonderin why Whyd she do it Whyd she lie Why didn't she say She was goin to die And why'd she do it Why didn't she cry Did she not believe We would try To stop it all To erase the goodbye And begin again With just hi To make it simple Or did she think we would lie To her face And turn around to say she was high That it couldn't be true That its all a lie Because that place seem so great from the outside Or would they believe and see their lie But then they'd know Why she cried Which means she'd have To say goodbye.
A young girl sobs for all she's lost. She's not who she used to be. The blade is her release. Her heart shattered to pieces. She wonders why me? She hesitates. Her fears overpower her, pulling her further from humanity. Her tears flow. She cuts deep. She's hopeless, she's already given up. Darkness once her best friend, has become her greatest enemy. Crimson flows. She's done. She's lost her way, traveled to far and can't find her way out. She's doomed. She's.... going to be Yesterdays news.
Could I have done something Was I not listening You showed me the ropes Made me the man I am Would things be different If I didn't leave for home Could you have stayed alive for me Now I'm missing a piece of my soul Didn't you know what this does Leaving me broken Were we not enough No I can't trust an old heart I needed you to know You were worth more Then death tempted your beautiful soul Its a sad thing to loose one of your own I needed you to know I would've given you my young And taken your sick and old
People are still hurting because of the blow they've been dealt. Sadly, you decided to end it all by hanging yourself with your belt. You suffered from Bipolar Disorder and Depression, that wasn't a good combination. People are very sorry that you died, your death has brought about devastation. You starred in many movies, Popeye was your very first. Your death was so horrible, to me it feels like a curse. In 1991 when you starred in Hook, you portrayed Peter Pan. Eight years later you starred as a robot in Bicentennial Man. You entertained us when you portrayed Patch Adams and when you starred in House Of D. You also astounded us with your performances in MRS. Doubtfire and RV. Your performances were unique and extraordinary. They were outstanding, they sure weren't ordinary. Everybody knows that your acting was a wonderful contribution to mankind. It will be a long time before your wife, kids and fans can find peace of mind. [Dedicated to Robin Williams (1951-2014) who died on August 11, 2014.]
(Gen. 2:7/Jer. 10: 23/ Matt. 4: 4/Isa. 45: 22/John 3: 16/Heb. 4: 12, 13/ 2 Tim. 3: 16, 17) (Part 2 of 2) If You Were Buried Alive Beneath Boulders & Rubble With Dust & Death Pressing In Every Layer and With Just One Last Communication Would You Still Ridicule Your Only Savior? Are You Satisfied With Limited Years of Life? Would You Expose Yourself To Some Fatal Disease? And Would You Be Too Proud & Angry To Say ... "May I Have More Life To Live, Please?" If You Were Walking Upon A Shortcut Road That Ended Over The Edge of A Cliff Would You Stubbornly Continue On It Just 'Cause Someone Came Along & Gave You A Lift? If Given A Choice In Choosing Directions While You Were Trapped In A Pretty Hedge Maze And A Hungry Lion Was On The Rampage Would You Just Stay There, Nonchalant & Dazed? Don't You Want To Know: Is Anybody Out There? and What Is The Mystery of Existence? And If Your Life Depended On Your Answer ... Would It Cost Your Last Minute ... This Instance? Would You Jump Off A 90-Feet Story Building? Would You Run Into - 200 Miles Per Hour Traffic? Would You Challenge A Nuclear Bomb To A Duel? Would You Drug-Up & Overdose Like An Addict? Would You Throw Away All Ties To Life? Would You Ignore GOD & HIS Book of Advice? and HIS Own Beloved Son's Sacrifice? Don't You Care Who's JEHOVAH & Jesus Christ? And If Its Not That Big A Deal For You To Decide Of Who's Your Enemy & Who's On Your Side? & You Just Give Up Because You're Tired & You Tried & You Cuss Heaven & Carry On That Way, 'Til You Have Died Well, You've Just Committed Your Own Suicide . . . Written & Copyrighted ©: 9/18/2013 by: MoonBee Canady
Have you ever been so angry? That you can't express hurt? When the highlight of your day Becomes your downfall. I've flirted with disaster Destruction became part of me. I have no one to blame For I am my own misery. 05/23/08
Death's waves pushed me Further and further to The bottom of the black ocean. Stopping sound and breath, But allowing the tears that Stained my face; and The blood that stained My forearms. And everyone else stood Above me and watched They watched as I sunk All the way to the bottom But it was only until I reached the bottom Of Death's ocean did Everyone scream, and cry, and curse Because only then did they realise Just how close I was.
Hollow puppet dancing on her strings, Fear, fear please don't trim her wings. Crumple down to hard dirt floor, Never, never to dance any more. Limbs this way, that way thrown; No movement truly her own. Dark, empty all around, No purpose, value anywhere found. Meaning escaped, Fear evaporate. Hollow puppet dancing on her strings, Begging, desperate, please trim her wings. Pain, pain go away, Let me dance no more this way.
Stepping back inside, I speak but I'm not hearing my words, The world of silence has arrived to serve, My sliced up......broken.......self, For I have been waiting in pain alone, Widening my scars with a sharpened throne, Remains of my unfinished past, Still haunting today and tomorrow, My sorrow seems to be endless, Illness controls my emotions, No other solution is there, So I stand and stare, So goodbye to this filthy unfair world, Because silence has arrived to erase, Marks of chains around my body, Wasted years behind the curtains, Suffering your eternal happiness, Killing my smile with yours, For it never was found, I shall be drowned.. In silence..I drown... In silence..I drown... In silence..I..DROWN...
"Mama, what happened to your smile? I haven't seen it for a while" She looks at her and sighs "It's been taken" He holds her trembling hand As he hopes to understand Where the love that they had Has been taken She tries to write a line Of the poems they called, "fine" But the grand thoughts that she had Have been taken She looks at the shining knife Wants to end to her sorry life Her passion and her desire Have been taken They all stand round her grave Each one trying to be brave She had given them all love But they had only taken. Eileen Manassian Ghali
She puts the knife to her wrist but doesn't cut yet Shes had enough she is bullied at school and at home She cant take it anymore but before she makes the last move of her young life she reminisces on the thousands of times she was bullied by doing this she remembers why she is doing it. Hatred and non-loved mostly Finally she writes a note to her family The note says " Dear family, I'm done pretending i'm okay you never showed me any love at all and no family should ever do that. I loved you so much but deep down i could tell you didn't love me in return. so i began to HATE you. But now I am in a better place and you will be fine without me. Goodbye. Sincerely, your un-loved daughter She takes the blade and slits her wrist right on the vein not caring at all, but before she was gone forever she said her last four words "I hope you're sorry"
A shot rang out, it became quiet, she tried to scream but out came nothing she tried to move But she soon realized she was paralyzed with fear All of a sudden she saw herself Looking down upon herself She tried yelling for help But then she saw it It was in her hand Then she realized she did something something she promised herself she would never do Noone knows why she's gone Nor what happened All they know is that she pulled the trigger on herself while layin in a bed of Bloody Red Roses
There is no power in death, great enough to stop youth. From what must be done, souls taken one by one. If God should stand in the way, clear the path you will go away. Should I contend with this power, no choice it is the devils hour. When the wicked rule in time, deception reigning of crime. There will be a stand instead, where I gather the vengeful dead. Amongst in Hell that we cower, our vengeance will grow louder. Strong enough in legions, numbers increasing regions. Then the wicked will fear, what is about to come near. No where near closer to home, inside Hell's nightmarish tomb.
I remember how you were that day make it happen or i'll make you pay is what you said before i went away… Seems like now the tides have turned onto the platform in which you burned maybe it wont fall this time maybe… Leave me be when i'm not here make me sway, make me hear the reason why i'm not living the truth… So here I stand drifting away into the abyss where they all lay holding regrets and promises alone… But there it is that bright white sight something's whispering behind me "choose the light" should I listen? should I stay? help me…
She turns up the music to hide the sobs Blade meets wrist for a final encounter Red tears come streaming, staining the ground as they fall Silence encompasses the room despite all of the noise
Fun. Having fun, and playing, just freedom, freedom. Youth, children and, completely free. Time moving fast. Forcing: pushing. Falling not able to stop. Dying, slowly inside: dying. Pain; the sharpness, Tearing, ripping. Welcoming the Pain. Crimson Staining my clothes Running down my Skin. And more, more Pressure… harder. Dizzy, dizzy really dizzy. But still pressing harder and deeper. Blood flowing fast. And the pain; the unbearable torture it's nice. Slipping deeper, into the dark. The beautiful abyss that is death. Finally.
Harsh words and violent blows, Hidden secrets nobody knows, Eyes are open, hands are fisted, Deep inside I'm warped and twisted, So many tricks and so many lies, Too many whens and too many whys, Nobody's special, nobody's gifted, I'm just me, warped and twisted, Sleeping awake and choking on a dream, Listening loudly to a silent scream, Call on my mind, the numbers unlisted, Lost in someone so warped and twisted, On my knees, alive but dead, Look at the invisible blood, I've bled, I'm not dead, my mind has drifted, Don't expect much, I'm warped and twisted, Burnt out, wasted, empty, and hollow, Today's just yesterdays tomorrow, The sun died out, the ashes sifted, I'm still here, warped and twisted,
T'was the night before Christmas And all through the house not a single noise could be heard For, you see, the only one up Had practise of being quiet even when she's screaming inside With hand over mouth, and tears streaming down her face She silently sobbed the night away The only festive colour running from her wrists The only thing she wanted for Christmas Was to be dead.
there's darkness all around me so thick that I can't see all my life means nothing I can't take it being me I take some pills but you stop me I try again and you commit me I hide a knife from the nurse and hoping she doesn't see what I'm about to do please let me be
He only thinks that I am fake, Even when I sit and shake, Although I've done things in the past, I left it all so we would last. I don't know what I am meant to do, To prove to him I can be true, He only sees the wrong and hate, He never sees his one true mate. All I am I'll give for him, I'll kill myself for both our sins, Yet he thinks it's just a ploy, And in this game he is just a toy. I could write our names in blood, Yet he'd only stand and shrug, Cut out my heart for him alone, He would not notice till I moan. I know he loves me deep inside, And still he thinks he has to hide, I know when nothings left, He is only happy when he's in death.
ODE TO BADEN by Kevin L Fairbrother Baden, Baden our best Mate What gave you the right to decide your fate You left this life much the same as you lived it With guts, determination and strength and gambled that you could win … Baden, you left us out and pissed us off You made us mad and very sad and all so sorry So sorry that you felt the need to exclude us From all the troubles that you felt Because Baden, we could have helped … Like a true gambler who gives nothing away You broke even on this day The baggage you carried and would not unload So the troubled waters just flowed and flowed … The waters still now, the baggage all gone Leaves us the question, did we do wrong You have paid the price, there is no return The best we can do for you now Is reach the place you so desired … Pictures and memories is all we know have We feel cheated that your smile we will never see And all those happy times just memories We hope you are happy where-ever you may-be … We will have a drink or two and reminisce of life with you And contemplate our lives without you Max your dog he howls, he misses you And all your family shed tears and grieve … The bush is silent the trees are safe The axe and chainsaw there silent to The wood pile will slowly dwindle And the fire die just like you … Aka-Daka will see you off as you ride on Ride on forever Bade as we will miss you heaps With love and best wishes go you now Rest in peace and sleep for-ever
Everyday I wake up to a mundane reality Lying in bed thinking, waiting for dawn Nothing left to believe in, no hope for society With no more strength I can barely move on Looking around I see people enjoying life, having fun Their laughs mocking me as I sit alone That's it I can't stand it, I'm done Finally, to me the truth has been shown No one cared, they never did, and never will I need to end it all, society is full of it With the gun to my head time seems to stand still Now the only thing I can believe in is bliss from a bullet.
When I think about things that are gone and passed I mourn for the things that did not last I feel the hurt and tears that fell I cannot get free, trapped in this Hell The fires of memories lick at my flesh Burning up tears that I thought would always last Coal black eyes, you can see my soul I gave up everything, everything for a mole But such rich eyes… They beckoned me in, promising me everything Using all of my sin My heart still aches My soul still bleeds To hear that voice So honey sweet And yet I let you hold the knife Feel you twist it in my back, and I never seem to fight The blood starts to rip, taking with it some hope That one day I will stop this nonsense And take that one last fatal blow But no, not to him I want him to stay in perfection, I never can harm him The knife is for me, to mortify my own flesh Let the blood pour, like my tears once did Maybe then he will understand I regret the mistakes made But no matter what, I would always belong to him
forget-me-nots lay on the table water leaks from a cracked vase the motor car is running in a closed garage you've finally escaped life to a new place people who loved you never knew you the dog bark echos in the backyard curtains dance from the open window breeze no returning now you've gone to far nosy neighbor calls the police a fireman breaks in your garage your lifeless body keeled over to you life was just a mirage grieving family can not understand it into the ground you are laid to rest unsigned letter read over and over for reasons why-haunts those who loved you best
There was no way I was able To untie the sturdy cable Wrapped around my shaking neck Because my life became a wreck I hope you find me hanging here A note covered in saddened tears Saying that this was the end And no one will understand All the pain I'm living with Something inside turned a switch Reversing who I'm meant to be Changing my life totally From having friends to no one there I could see the horrid fear In their eyes when I explained That a big and scary change Was happening and I can't stop I need to listen to my heart And go from a football jock To dresses and curly locks Not one friend supported me Even my so called family Shunned me for this "sinful" act So I made a deadly pact To end all this humility Because I just wanted to be Happy for the real me Now I fly with open wings And my heart can really sing A joyful tune as I soar Happy like never before
I want nothing more than my knight in shining armour to come and rescue me. To cut my skin that's as white as snow with its sharp blade. To turn my skin red. For the pain and anger to scar once more. I want the anger to trickle down my arm. Turning it as red as roses. I want nothing more than to sleep for eternity and to never wake again.
like a hole in a bucket that's always leaking, or a faucet that's always dripping, evil never ceases till death do us part like a brief memory lapse that's always evident, or a faux pas that's always awkward, evil never ceases till death do us part like a uneasy malaise that's always present or an incurable addiction, evil never ceases till death do us part © Eugene Harvey
a weary heart this life bids adieu, till arise this flesh never again anew. a dying spirit echoes slowly, life's last drum roll, a final rhythmic cadence, before death's silent bow. © Eugene Harvey
"The Suicide of Henry B. Damned!" Between the edge of secrecy and seething brink of lunacy there went I to the very deepest darkest part of me! I preyed upon my bleakened soul to bring an end--this was my goal to every thing that keeps me breathing deep inside of me! But in the darkened night of it I pained--and then I flenched a bit and what it does to keep me going is my mystery-- Before the end that was my cause, the cutting edge it slip--I pause! my hesitation's left it beating keeping life in me! Within it--my own misery I bring sorbented hope in me to end this cursed life defeating all the will in me! And blackening my mind, I show the blade just where it has to go to cut the very heart that's beating cursed life in me! (the SHADOW knows---ha ha ha HA HA © ron wilson aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet
The Instrument of life By, TheDarkness Note: During medieval times, there was a legend' that when a swan dies, they sing a beautiful song with their dying breath. This has sense been forth known as, "The Swan Song" She plays her music of pain, The instrument of choice her wrist, A symphony of sounds are released, Though the melody is hushed through clenched teeth With every pull the music fades away, Slowly the once lively instrument turns pale, And her silver baton falls from limp hands. He plays his music of life, Though his symphony is different, Instead of the sweet sting of the silver blade, He chooses the loud bang of the bullet, Clicking the last piece into place, He puts his instrument to his head, With a flash of light his instrument falls away, The once clean room is now stained red The aftermath is catastrophic, For the conductors left before the show ended, With heavy hearts the audience cleans the stage, The melody they created is covered up, And the music they loved is forgotten. Together, yet so far apart, Their symphonies briefly intertwine, To create a melody unheard by human minds, They part together, strangers on a lonely road, Yet somehow they smile, for their peace is finally known, For together, They created their swan song.
In my dreams I see her face, Her smoky presents I almost taste, Her empty eyes cut to my heart, Her bloodless hands tear me apart. She speaks my name with ice blue lips, Her hollow voice with venom drips, She grabs my face so I can see, She is never free of me. I wake up and I look around, I hold my breath at any sound, It felt so real and now I see, What her passing did to me. I'll try to free her lonely sole, This will be my life time goal, Then I'll sleep the whole night through, And she will rest forever to.
Lately, I have noticed a very disturbing trend. Many people wish for their life to end! There are many circumstances that bring this about. Many feel "trapped in," and think "there's no way out!" I admit,... I have been very discouraging thoughts. Sometimes, wondering, if I was dealt "the wrong lot." But just when I feel alone and trapped within. I think about Jesus! He's always been my friend! I've called to him more than a time or two... When I didn't know "what I was going to d." When, to him, I cried out and pleaded... He's given to me the hope and direction I needed! I recommend this same Jesus to your life today! Whatever your problem... He has made a way! An abundant assurance Is what Jesusbrings! He is an awesome God! And can take care of everything! Your problems are never too big or small for him to take control. He can bring healing to you! And make your body whole! He is what's needed! In this lost and dying generation! Won't you accept his mercy and salvation??? By Jim Pemberton 2012
Don't cut your wrists Don't cut your thighs Pick yourself up And dry your eyes Unlock the door Step into the hall Look in the mirror You're beautiful Your scars don't define you Nor does anyone else They don't understand You're going through hell So please be patient And don't let me down I won't judge if you do You won't be met with a frown I'll try to understand But it might be hard You'll always be special I hold you close to my heart And living without you I can't bear the thought So please don't leave me I'll be distraught You're very special And beautiful, you see Don't listen to them Just focus on me I don't care what they say I don't care what they do Because I'm always here And I really do love you
White roses turn purple and black When your mind becomes whack When I think of death I see you smoking meth There's so much to gain Why cause yourself pain Don't smoke crack or shoot up with a needle It makes your mind weak and feeble Stop snorting that coke It can make you choke You won't get any kisses or hugs Only losers take and abuse drugs You may think that you are a winner But in fact your life is getting thinner So if you think doing drugs is cool Then you're just a dumb fool
Blood overflows my skin, And seeps through my fingers, Droplets of mortality race with no will... Carved in the flood, a desire, a dream to fulfill, For once my eyes flew above tomorrow, But my heart clung to the ashes of sorrow, My mind was under siege by shadows of grief, And the wind was my soul...roaming for relief, The days have built a conflict in my existence, And failure defeated the fort of my resistance, Walls were scorched by the vibe of my wail, A symphony to the last chapter of my tale, I bless the ground where my body lies, As I lead the requiem of my own demise,
Maybe instead of life Maybe I'm the joke. Maybe I stopped mattering, So why does this matter? The shattered pain in my eyes, Mirrors that reflect only you. Do you see the cracked smile; Your laughter is a dagger to my soul. The frustration is a merry-go-round; I might fall off and die. The pain is rotten, a corpse Twisted all around my heart. Tears are uncountable, endless Crying at night but still more. Oh, the despair in my soul! I long only for joy, please, Is that just too much to ask? Those beautiful dreams are ruined, Why on earth were they given? Was it all my fault or maybe No one's fault, just life, The joke that is me. The cuts will scar, as always Yet can't you see them, Or maybe you refuse to. The outside cuts are nothing Compared to my heart, ruined, Destroyed by far too many hopes. My trust, shattered like glass And lying in the wasteland, My bitter tears are the oasis. Tired, yet no sleep is found here, So many questions in my mind, My heart can't ask you again. I'm sorry, oh the mistakes made, And there will be so many more. I am hollow, a container of sorrow, Of lifeless, wingless dreams, so frail. The hot fire mixes with it, The anger that is me and my mind, Questioning, screaming and so unhappy. Delusions are my safe, happy place; I only wanted love.
A shoelace, one that snags and tears when you try to tighten your shoe too tight. Who would have imagined, could be a tool used to take my daddy's life. Alcohol and drugs, a swirl of depression and a mindset of bamboozlement Leaving what was once a brilliant artistic mind, now second guessing his sanity. Put so much faith into a women who made her life hustling, transparent to all but him. Would leave him alone, with his drug induced thoughts of self loathe. While she scampered the streets, and was more enthralled with a "john". One night was his breaking point, concocting a delusional plan to recapture the harlot's attention. Was it a cry for help, and attention? Was it an induced hebetude. Sitting cross legged as indians would, a simple shoelace placed around his neck. Waiting hours and hours for her to return, to see him in this desperate state. The effects of the drugs and alcohol had taken its toll, his eyes heavy... He leans forward, the shoelace does not give way. I will never know if it was suicide or a drunken stupor!
Bye, Bye Robin Williams If only my peace I could now rest in And wouldn't have to start over again; All of my efforts which were fruitless Now are of no value and totally useless. Begins have begun and endings gone by; Many things about myself, I had to deny; What I felt was a false sense of being And deep within me nothing was agreeing. Conflicts continue on as they still persist And if I lived again, what would I insist; Time after time and over and over again If I had prayed to God ending it with Amen.
Epitaph is a collection of dark short stories, unsettling poetry, and hopeless musings. It is available for Amazon Kindle. http://www.amazon.com/Epitaph-ebook/dp/B00CCFQ9XS/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t Or Barnes and Nobel NOOK. http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/epitaph-kyle-halberg/1115920109?ean=2940016540689 Here are a few reviews to wet your apetite. 1) "Epitaph is a dark, quick read about the absurdity of the finite human condition. If Kafka and Palahniuk had a brief affair, this would be their lovechild." 2) "Coventional Society Has Been Condemned. The author presents a well written, detailed condemnation of conventional American/Christian dogma. The author's anger is palpable. Thought provoking to say the least..." 3) "I was startled by the boldness of Epitaph. The author did with this something a lot of people are unwilling to do: be completely and insanely honest. In a strange and satisfying mix of poems, fiction, and philosophy, it explores what it means to exist, and if it is even fair to say that we do. Hearing that, you may be surprised to also hear that this collection contains some of the most creative, thoughtful, and downright hilarious things I have ever read. That being said, I hesitate to recommend this to most people, because the evident and strangling despair of the author will upset them. If you are happy, skipping from day to day without a care in the world (in other words, if you are boring and thoughtless), DO NOT READ THIS! If you want to peer into the mind of a madman, and become mad for a short time yourself, Epitaph is the place to go."
Death orifice my Libidinous command, I contras life's ecumenical demand! Now reach down in this thistle grim, Desolate me with the edged limb. Grant this voyeur that glimpse of dead, A comatose where life and I unwed... As minutes kiss my infidel fawn; The church's bell will screech at dawn. -Enthral me now! Tell me Neith, was all my love in vain? While blood is surfing in silhouette pain. Succumb; I've punctured my unfruitful coat, Birthing wonder if Love she'll emote? Sable wings retracted like livery spades, My celestial dream as life slowly fades... This Dementia spoke to me in a tongue, But before my babel, my barbed winds gone... Finally taken from Life's 'Woetopia' I journey now to Death's utopia! While my heart still beats through thorn, Only a few minutes till it's outworn, Due to Hel I'll never be forlorn, Alas! as Death I'll be reborn! When Neith failed this loom of tapestry; I flee through thick celestial forest atrophy. The livid scar that put me to rest; A tourniquet to the sepulcher orb in my chest! "Due to Life's Ouroboros Limbo Inn, I couldn't gift a priapic cusp within, I couldn't caress your silhouette skin, I couldn't love your sinister kin!" The revel Dead speak of Summerland, A masturbation by Death's own hand. I'll gladly sparkle your path with pearls, Take you away where meadow depression curls! For you see- Death is the womb of our throe forboden, aroused Moon. On this night tears open the ebon vaults, A corpse left to indulge all your faults. The pal laid to my awe desires, This catafalque God endures weeping choirs. Psalms sung by Life's clique, -Part of me might cry and shriek... -In this storm; An erubescent shower, released me from my beloved voodoo flower. There my heart and knife wedded! Benighted the ground splay blood dreaded. Through astral Magicks, I decay my flesh, Too the entangled Moon, that trees enmesh! ... The Summerland Now I rule as master in this domain, Finally my swathe depression deplane. So it can no longer grief and betray, But I face surplus love sway!
He heard a knock at the door, suddenly he couldn't wait anymore, felt the pain trickle down his spine. It crashed open and he flinched, the sound forcing him to wonder why, why he had been chosen for such a gruesome life. Seconds fell to minutes, minutes fell to hours, yet somehow time felt frozen. it felt like nothing had moved for days, days upon days. He heard the footsteps in the room, he heard the shrieks of terror too. He most certainly didn't move. The crimson liquid seeped though, it seemed from every pore, he knew this day would come, dying on the floor. She rushed to his side, screaming gargled words she never heard a thing. He felt his eyes close again, just this one last time. He let himself slip away, for today he shall die. Had he had the choice he'd say, he never wanted it to end this way. We do things for those we care, if dying meant saving, then dying was the only cure. He had no problem, not when it was for her. One last time, he heard a knock on his door.
Yeah, she was kinda dark Steven said when I told him about it You could tell,he said, she had it in her But he wasn't there for knee socks and Golly gee can't believe you said THAT WORD out loud The memory leaving me wondering if maybe he meant me. Though he and I both know I don't have the stones. Lazy suicide he accuses I laugh but silently agree Maybe,or Instead of breaking or bending I pick door number three refusing to accept what I cannot change, singing to any beast who will listen while plucking my strings in the light at the edge of the world But where is she?
It's difficult for me to remember my past. From my very first memory to my last. I have put my friends, family and myself through so much. No longer am I able to feel God's touch. The scars are here forever. I obviously wasn't very clever. Overdosing, suicide and cutting. The doors that were open to me are now shutting. I have almost ended my life a lot. But before I could I got caught. No longer will I try. I just wish to die. I say that all the time. Everyone complains saying these are crimes. I have been through quite a bit, as the cigarette is being lit. When will my pain go away? Not until my body is in the coffin where it shall lay.
Choose The only way the final way the hero's way the cowards way to give up to sacrifice the pain of death or the pain of life the slash of a knife the bullet of a gun the jump off a tree or the empty bottle death life freedom pain choose one choose another choose life choose death
I feel it deep within me, This growing void inside, I don't know how to quench it, Or make the gap subside, I feel so lost and so confused, I don't know where to turn, I want to see the light again, Without watching all things burn. I want to see his face again, I want to hold him near, I wish he knew I loved him loads, I'd shout it loud and clear. Time goes by I realize I'll never hear his voice, I sit in tears all on my own with lonely thoughts of death, A razor is kissing my wrist and pills causing my veins, Dear lover help me as I am all that's left.
Feeling like you're not good enough, Like nothing you do matters. Crying on the inside, While smiling on the out. Acting like nothing is wrong, Though secretly you're dying. Being made to feel like dirt, For doing something you love. Being told you're not important, That no one cares. You get told that you're lucky, Even when you're not, Because others have less than you, And are starving to death, Because death is something feared by most, But not by all. There are the people who can't wait to die, Those people who have tried so many times, That the only lesson for them is learning to die, Those people have been made to feel alone, Useless, unwanted and alone. They self-harm to feel something, Because their bodies are numb, The hurt themselves because it takes away the pain, But it doesn't work so they try harder and harder, Until they die. Simple as that, No happy endings, No music blaring, No one around, Just gone.
Forcing his way through a ocean of iniquity and negligence, As malfeasances and misconducts concoct a deadly storm of uncertainty, Demons and guilt torment him, Obstructions and obstacles challenge him, Misfortune and tragedy overwhelm him, As he is subconsciously enveloped by an emotional numb, Standing alone, even as he is surrounded by those he loves, He a feels shiver-inducing tingle shave his spine, Severing the last of his connection from the outside world. Crying himself to sleep every night; Without pain, Without sadness, Without anger, The numb killing his soul, Obliterating emotion, Annihilating self-worth, Disconnecting into a world of fog, Where one is never truly awake, but can not find peace in sleep, The sorrow from solitude forces him out, The depression from being invisible pushes him back in to confinement, Anxiety and instability crushing ambition and inspiration, The silk of motivation, which once rich and lustrous, Is now tattered and broken, Once a man, a human, Now the broken shell of a person, without purpose, Lacking axiom, Integrity, broken, Living a facade, Wearing a smile, but dead behind the eyes, Drifting from reality, leaving behind the body and mind, A soul, free from the trials and constraints, Without consequence, Without regret, He will no longer be forced to suffer through the melancholy that eradicated his life, He will never again succumb to the desolation of his depression, Never again, will he have the chance to create, Never again, will he have the chance to inspire, Never again, will he have the chance to love. Never again, will he wonder if he is deceased, dreaming or alive. He is now more alive than ever, He is now in a state of eternal dreaming.
Being lazy Getting hazy Always crazy Die from sloth Getting fat Being hungry Seeing crack Die from gluttony Not complex Having sex Without latex Die from lust For thyself Don't need help No problem Die from pride So much anger You're a banger Do the math Die from wrath It's not enough To want too much Want everything Die from greed Jealousy Will get you Nowhere Die from envy
To be born and be a little miracle. To be one and be in the limelight. To be two and an angel. To be three and a little princess. To be four and be a big girl. To be five and love your mummy and daddy. To be six and spoil rotten. To be seven and making friends. To be eight and making best-friends. To be nine and leaving your imaginary friends behind. To be ten and feeling more responsible. To be eleven and know who you want to be. To be twelve and happy in life. To be thirteen and scared that your friends will leave you. To be fourteen and struggling with your sexuality. To be fifteen and sad that you lost all of your friends. To be sixteen and struggling with all the important things. To be seventeen and a disappointment. To be eighteen and turn to alcohol. To be nineteen and turn to drugs. To be twenty and be depressed. To be twenty-one and think about who you used to be. To be twenty-two and cutting. To be twenty-three not talking to your family. To be twenty-four and jobless. To be twenty-five and moneyless. To be twenty-six and cutting too deep. To be twenty-seven and dead
she is my life my light my love but yet i feel as if i just want to die razor in hand blood drips on the floor show me what life was mint for cut just a bit deeper slip into a loving hold of death still no end in site for the pain i feel death is sweet and always there for you and life will always let you down the more blood that leaves the at peace i feel i now know it is real
i really love you I seriously do I don't want to leave But you've got to believe I don't belong here Please do not fear Everywhere you go Just feel the soft wind blow the love flow through your veins Relieve all your aches and pains just listen to the whispers you will hear my voice... I will always love you... It will hurt really bad perhaps make you terribly sad just listen to your heart and you will realize It was only best For me to die Then you'll know I'll be safe no more hurt Just in peace
In the dark of the meadow, Under a tall dogwood tree; Swinging to and fro Is where you'll find me. Silent; not a sound I will make. Still; not a breath will I take. Asleep; never to awake. In the shadow of fate I'm forever hidden. Where the light of day is forbidden. So if you care to find me; This is where I'll be. Swinging to and fro. Hanging from the dogwood tree...
Upon this read you shall grieve, a curse granting you to believe. With your religion as a master, mine is a far greater disaster. Troubled with a conflicted pain, mentally restricted to restrain. When I am gone it will be known, my death threatens what you own. This soul that I have up for trade, greatest power in death to wage. An act that is greater than god, time itself will never be flawed. As dreams will haunt with power, the dead confront why you cower. Now I sleep a ghostly damnation, thus resting victims starvation. Assured those I care cannot feel, leaving memories that never heal. I am a forgotten with desolation, alas vengeance unto destruction.
Anger is set No emotions bound Lost of affection Darkness is found Tools are gathered Brain is prepared Ending tragic memories None will be spared Weapon of choice Not yet decided Next to the devil Which whom I've sided Whatever the outcome Blood will be shed Ready,get set Death is ahead
How easily you ran rampant through our sleeping little town. Lives, you touched so many over the years, for the better. Manyadmired and respected you, dressed in blue. Did this beast always reside in you? Secreted away from the world? Or was it new? What caused this fracture, this divide? Something unforeseen? When it came, you did not fight. You let it reap and in this last instant you took them all and saved you for last. Coward!
Roses are red, Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses are wilting And the violets are dying The angels flew away Now I'm left crying Roses are red Violets are blue I pulled the trigger And away I flew
I conceal my face and head praying i was dead I struggled to forget But my heart would not let I wasted my convincing That you were real I stopped praying I'm now shattered down Sitting on the ground I once thought life would go on But it all turned out wrong I decided to give it a last shot Only it wasn't worth the fought I now have a gun and knife Deciding if i should take my life I slash my wrists And shoot my head My body falls to the floor I now lay in a puddle of blood Forever put to rest
Through fire and rain, I bear this pain, Due to my emotional strain, My reputation holds disdain. How can I repair it? How do I begin to feel worth it? While friends who bear no sins, Begin filling coffins. Where do I turn? I see no bridges, I have yet to burn, Only window ledges. To be or not to be, Is no longer the question, To be blind or to see, Is the question's reinvention. For some it is as simple, As standing upon a stool, To fall and make a ripple, Or to remain in life's stagnant pool.
So, I find this topic very interesting. Suicide notes. Not in the good kind of way, of course, but...Why leave a note? Wouldn't you like to keep them guessing? The word "Suicide" is awfully beautiful. So terribly pretty. These poems are suicide letters. You'll notice when a new letter is coming. Suicide notes- My dear friends, I write to you, From times of sorrow, you carried me through. Picked up the pieces, stitched them together, Oh how i wish, I could stick around forever. But no, dear friends, it's time to go, I have to fly free, there's no more of me to sew. One by one I'll speak to you, you'll hear me in your mind, And no one will know. One by one I'll write to you, up in the sky of clear shaded blue. Here it goes, Here is one, Don't you know, These are suicide notes. -Who were you, my dear friend?- Who were you, my dear friend, glass green eyes, with piercing blue. Spoke to me, words of gloom. That's all you did, it's all you do, so now i'm saying, Goodbye to you. Gleam and Glow, shine and sparkle, you let me go. I know that you're reading this, So please before you rant, know this is no joke, You are a suicide note. -My sweet friend, You left.- You know who you are, you know what you did, You used to be my shining star. Before you left, you went away, Darling I asked for you to stay. I know I cant make you, I know you don't want to, but do you remember? I love you. Too much, too little, You made me hate you. Go on with your new friends, tell them i say hello, and please let them know, They made you a suicide note. -Oh, my lovely dear friend.- Ah, and now it's all on you. The last song of the blues. Oh my love, it was all up to you. You could have saved me, But you let me be, sad and alone, when my dark colors shone. But yet, i'm sorry. Yes, me. I'm sorry I ran, I didn't know how to say, Man, i messed up, No more Always. And These words that were running through my head, all mixed up, they all made up to say, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," To stay. In your way, I'll go home, and write about you, in my suicide note.
Wife was beautiful when she walked by And she always, really caught my eye Like someone I never saw before Who I would want to see much more. My husband always troubled had been And my life, at times, he would not let in; What happened to him I had supposed Was in on him his world had closed. Wherever he was or had tried to be No one could ever see his REAL ME And times to himself he had lied; With deep sorrow committed suicide. In heaven, no longer has a worry or care Which in past was hard for him to bare And now while he's high in heaven above, As you look at everyone, give them his love. Tribute To Brian Williams James Thomas Horn Retired Veteran You can forward any of my poems to anyone who you may want to.
The Waves Cover Me Let the waves crash over me So their power sweeps over me Pulls me into a world A world that started a thousand miles away Let me feel the coolness As my body loses its focus The pain fades away As do my hopes, dreams and nightmares The waves carry me into the unknown depths With my last breath I know one thing At last I can feel a peace I have never known
In the same place in which she cried, She also fell asleep and died, For so long she pretended to take everything in stride, But really in the end she couldn't even tell everyone she's lied, Nor could she even say goodbye As she laid where her spirit took wings and began to fly.
now I lay me down to sleep with wrists that bleed from cuts so deep my eyes so dry nothing left with which to cry and I slowly begin to die for you this should surely be goodbye with my final breath do I wish to say my heart with you did forever stay but do you care either way what I say as i pass away my heart for you kept on caring despite a fact I can not continue baring seeing you with her once more from my chest, my heart was tore and still I continue to say my heart with you will surely stay
If I were to write a suicide note, I would kiss every inch of the page, to drench it With my last breathings of doomed love If I were to write a suicide note, I would spray each corner with Arabian perfume, So you will always associate death not with the chilling scents of Decomposing flesh, or freshly turned soil, but with a heady Intoxicating fragrance If I were to write a suicide note, I would use many inks in rainbow colours, to soothe The ache of my parting words – to paint a kaleidoscopic picture of My beautiful misery If I were to write a suicide note, I would not waste time listing my miseries, For they were countless, and too heavy for a sheet of paper To bear If I were to write a suicide note, I would compose it sitting on my bed, my legs a creamy white Against the starched white sheet, my face lifting now and then To the window, to distract myself from the solemnity by Observing my final sunset If I were to write a suicide note, I would use the word 'love' as often as my heart Nervously beats, in preparation for the coming stillness If I were to write a suicide note, I would remind you that were it not for you I would Never have lived at all I would tell you how you lifted my soul, How you dragged me up from the depths, The proverbial lotus flower pushing its blooms through The sucking black mud I would tell you how you were always with me, Even when you weren't – how your memory Haunted, gently, bitter-sweetly I would tell you how every time I closed my eyes I saw your face, Etched by angel fingers on the thin red easels of my lids I would tell you how, to me, this feeble dying girl, You were the most beautiful thing in the world More beautiful than fresh-blooming roses, Or a tropical sunset More sacred than temples or churches More radiant than the sun, That blazing god More poignant than the moon, In all her melancholy splendor More overwhelming than my frail heart could bear If I were to write a suicide note, It would quickly become a love sonnet, Devoted wholly to you And my death would be lost in the subtext...