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When Mental Illnesses Feel Like 'Friends'
We've all had friends who have had a bad influence on us. But the kind of friends I made are different. They are in my head.
I met my boyfriend, Bri (bipolar) first. I can't even remember when we became friends or how. Looking back, I remember Bri being in my life as early as third grade, but I never knew how much of an impact he would have on me then. Right now, Bri and I are closer than ever, but we fight a lot. We are always on and off and I never know where we stand. Sometimes Bri makes me really happy and sometimes he makes me really sad. There is no in between. Bri introduced me to Deb.
Deb (Depression) became my best friend. She was always introducing me to new people and habits as well. With these new friends, I didn't need anyone else. Of course, Deb did make me feel really sad, but she was my best friend and I didn't want to lose her. Deb made me not care about anything, which I loved. Deb didn't like when I talked to real people though. She liked when I stayed in my room by myself. I began drifting from reality quickly because my real friends thought I did not like them anymore. I was closer with these friends in my head so I no longer needed real people in my life.
Before me and Deb became friends, Deb was friends with Sue (suicidal thoughts). Deb introduced me to Sue and we all became very close. Sue was always on my mind. Sue liked to play games with me though… She liked to come and go but she let me know that she was always there. Sometimes she was right there giving me hugs and sometimes she was with other friends, but I knew she would always be there for me and this gave me a sense of relief, which I needed after becoming friends with Annie.
Annie (Anxiety) was the type of friend you didn't want to be friends with. The only reason I had to be friends with her is because she was friends with all of my other friends. We did not like each other though. However, since she was friends with all of my other friends, I had to be nice to her. Annie always put me down and told me I was ugly and that I would never be good enough. She made me scared to talk to people because I was so self-conscious. I always tried to be good enough for Annie, but nothing seemed to impress her. Sometimes when she got mad at me, she would attack me and make me cry and cry and cry. She would repeat all of the negative things in my life over and over again in my head. She would then make it hard to breathe because she would make me cry so much. When she attacked me, my mind would race with negative thoughts and it was hard for me to win the fight she was starting with me. These fights usually lasted only a couple minutes, but seemed like a lifetime in my head. Annie made me so self-conscious, and made me care what people thought, even though Deb made me not care about anything at all; It was like a war inside my head.
To fight this war, I needed a lot of alone time to think to myself. I thought about a lot of stuff and this war in my head made it very hard to focus on reality. My grades began to drop because I couldn't concentrate on anything except my new friends. I was addicted to the way they made me feel (even when they made me sad) and wanted to understand my friends better.
One day, Deb, Bri and Sue were all against me and told me to kill myself. Annie was in on it too. They told me that nobody would care if I was gone and they were trying to help other people by making me disappear. They also said it was in my best interest to do this so the war in my head would end. I overdosed that day. I was put in the hospital with people who were also friends with Deb, Annie, Sue and Bri. They had more friends than me though. These people were also friends with Ed, (eating disorder) Cat, (self-harm) Ana, (anorexia) Mia, (bulimia) Addie, (ADD) Owen, (OCD) sophie, (schizophrenia) and Izzy (insomnia). Me and Izzy clicked right away.
After multiple episodes of overdosing, I grew angry with my friends for having such bad influences on me. However, at this point, these were the only friends I had anymore after isolating myself from my real friends. My real friends became enemies to me because they did not understand me anymore. Maybe this is why they say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Because I was finally starting to realize the friends that were in my head were mentally abusive. They made me block out people and brainwashed me into thinking they were there for me. They took a toll on the way I acted towards the people I needed the most in my life. I had lost touch with these people because of my mentally abusive friends.
If you are friends with any of these demons, or know anyone who's friends with them, please understand these are not the right friends to have. They are mentally abusive and it took me so long to realize this. Even though they are so controlling and hard to get rid of, it is possible. They come in to your life unexpectedly and maybe unwanted at first, but then change you into a different person. You will begin to think they're there for you but really, they are against you. Find the motivation to make new relationships with real people. Medication can be another solution. And most importantly, talk to someone you trust. I found that is the biggest step to stop being controlled by terrible friends.
If you or someone you know needs help, please visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting "START" to 741-741. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.
The Crisis Text Line is looking for volunteers! If you're interesting in becoming a Crisis Counselor, you can learn more information here.
The Mighty is asking the following: For someone who doesn't understand what it's like to have your mental illness, describe what it's like to be in your head for a day. If you'd like to participate, please send a blog post to [email protected] Please include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio. Check out our Submit a Story page for more about our submission guidelines.


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Toddler Books: Making Books With Your Child's Drawings
Making toddler books using your child's drawings is a great way to encourage them to draw as well as show them you value their work.
Collections of children's drawings are always a wonderful keepsake. It is simply amazing to watch how their pictures evolve in a short period of time.
Here are pages we have been collecting to make an animal book by my twins.The girls have always enjoyed drawing from a very young age. We read a lot of books to them and they enjoyed browsing on their own.
It really helped their drawing skills and we'd often use the very simple picture books to find photos, pictures of animals, or any object they were trying to draw.
Pointing out the shapes we saw in the pictures and the colors helped them to be able to draw independently. We often drew with them to show them how to form shapes but rarely for them.
Self portrait at 2 years 11 months and then 3 years 11 monthsCollect your child's pictures in a binder. Date and file. You will be amazed at the developmental growth and so will your child. While teaching Kindergarten I would collect pieces of art throughout the year and put it in a velo bound booklet to take home. The first page was a picture drawn of themselves on the first day of school. The last was a picture about themselves drawn at the end of the school year. For many, their favorite were those two pictures. It was so cute to hear their expressions of amazement of how they drew themselves at the beginning of the year!
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subset: commoncrawl


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What do Pokemon and high fashion have in common? Well, not much until the Pokemon&Fashion Tumblr came to be. This hilarious blog juxtaposes various characters from the famous Japanese anime with fashion photography, creating a series of quirky and funny-looking fashion pictorials.
As you can see, colors, mood, gestures and other known variables are used as key factors in determining the compatibility between the Pokemon characters and the photogenic models on Pokemon&Fashion. Once the congruity is successfully identified, the professional standard digital picture and photo editing software, Adobe Photoshop, would be used to harmoniously marry the two components. The result is something both fashionistas and anime fans can appreciate. Ultimately, Pokemon&Fashion imbues a very serious industry with a great, quirky vibe that is sure to put a smile on your face.
Pokemon-Infused Fashion Captures
More Stats +/-
26 Peculiar Pokemon Features
Celebrity Pokemon Parodies
Pocket Monster Manicures
8-Bit Pop Sensations
Seductive Geeky Lingerie
The Pokemon&Fashion Tumblr is a Collision of Pop Culture
- By: Andrew LohOct 13, 2011
References: pokexfashion.tumblr & buzzfeed
References: pokexfashion.tumblr & buzzfeed


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Austria Vienna
Austria Vienna record their first ever win in the Champions League, comfortably dispatching Zenit St Petersburg 4-1.
Follow @sportsmole for the latest breaking news stories, and follow @sm_headlines to get every headline from Sports Mole
Result: Austria Vienna secure first Champions League winAustria Vienna record their first ever win in the Champions League, comfortably dispatching Zenit St Petersburg 4-1.
Dec 11, 21:39
Live Commentary: Austria Vienna vs. Zenit St Petersburg - as it happenedRelive Sports Mole's live text coverage of Austria Vienna vs. Zenit St Petersburg.
Dec 11, 18:41
Champions League: Tonight's permutationsWith the Champions League group phase coming to an end tonight, Sports Mole takes a look at which sides still have a chance of reaching the last 16.
Dec 11, 10:23
Preview: Austria Vienna vs. Zenit St PetersburgSports Mole gives the lowdown on Wednesday night's Champions League Group G match between Austria Vienna and Zenit St Petersburg.
Dec 9, 18:55
Result: Porto held to draw by Austria ViennaPorto only manage a draw against Austria Vienna despite dominating possession and having far more shots at goal.
Nov 26, 22:02
Live Commentary: Porto 1-1 Austria Vienna - as it happenedLive coverage of the Champions League group stage match between Porto and Austria Vienna.
Nov 26, 18:45
Diego Costa says Atletico Madrid "deserved" qualificationAtletico Madrid striker Diego Costa says that his side "deserved" their qualification to the last 16 of the Champions League.
Nov 6, 22:55
Match Analysis: Atletico Madrid 4-0 Austria ViennaSports Mole analyses Atletico Madrid's comprehensive victory over Austria Vienna in the Champions League.
Nov 6, 22:17
Result: Atletico Madrid thrash Austria Vienna in Group GAtletico Madrid advance to the last 16 of the Champions League with a comfortable win against Austria Vienna.
Nov 6, 21:37
Half-Time Report: Atletico Madrid in control at the breakGoals from Miranda, Raul Garcia and Filipe Luis give Atletico Madrid a comfortable lead against Austria Vienna.
Nov 6, 20:38
Team News: David Villa out for Atletico MadridDavid Villa is dropped for Atletico Madrid's clash with Austria Vienna.
Nov 6, 19:43
Live Commentary: Atletico Madrid 4-0 Austria Vienna – as it happenedRelive Sports Mole's coverage of the Champions League clash between Atletico Madrid and Austria Vienna.
Nov 6, 18:45
Juanfran wants to win for Atletico Madrid supportersAtletico Madrid defender Juanfran insists that they will not take Champions League opponents Austria Vienna lightly this evening.
Nov 6, 14:11
Arda Turan returns to Atletico Madrid trainingAtletico Madrid midfielder Arda Turan returns to first-team training with the Spanish outfit.
Nov 4, 18:43
Preview: Atletico Madrid vs. Austria ViennaSports Mole previews Wednesday's Champions League encounter as Atletico Madrid entertain Austria Vienna.
Nov 4, 13:54
Result: Atletico Madrid beat Austria Vienna 3-0Atletico Madrid ease past Austria 3-0 in the Champions League thanks to two goals from Diego Costa and a strike from Raul Garcia.
Oct 22, 21:43
Half-Time Report: Atletico Madrid coasting against Austria ViennaRaul Garcia and Diego Costa fire Atletico Madrid to a 2-0 half time lead against Austria Vienna.
Oct 22, 20:40
Team News: Diego Costa, Koke start for Atletico MadridAtletico Madrid coach Diego Simeone names Diego Costa and Koke in the starting lineup for tonight's Champions League clash against Austria Vienna.
Oct 22, 19:29
Live Commentary: Austria Vienna 0-3 Atletico Madrid - as it happenedRead how Atletico Madrid made it three wins from three in Champions League Group G, courtesy of Sports Mole's live text coverage.
Oct 22, 18:55
Preview: Austria Vienna vs. Atletico MadridSports Mole previews the Group G Champions League match between Austria Vienna and Atletico Madrid on Tuesday.
Oct 21, 17:58


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This month marks the 187 years since the opening of "new" London Bridge – the first bridge built over the Thames in London for more than 600 years.
Designed by John Rennie (who had won a competition, beating the likes of Thomas Telford for the honour), work on the new granite bridge had began in 1825 and was completed in 1831.
It was constructed alongside the medieval bridge which had been first completed in the 13th century and added to over the years since (and was eventually completely demolished after the opening of the 'new' bridge).
The 'new' bridge, said to have cost £506,000 to construct, was formally opened by King William IV on 1st August, 1831, in an event described by The Times as "the most splendid spectacle that has been witnessed on the Thames for many years".
The royal party – which included Queen Adelaide – had approached the bridge, lined with flags for the occasion, after setting off from Somerset House amid cheering described as "almost deafening" (to add to cacophony of sound, church bells were rung and cannon fired throughout the day).
Watched by thousands of onlookers (who were entertained by bands at various locations), the royal party had processed their way downstream on the river to the bridge with the royal bargemen wearing new livery specially designed for the occasion. Two parallel lines of rivercraft – including barges and steamers – had gathered along the river to provide a sort of honour guard and ensure they had clear passage.
The royals arrived at the bridge at 4pm and the royal party made their way up red carpeted stairs to the bridge's City end. Following a short ceremony in which the King was presented by the Lord Mayor of London with the sword and keys to the City of London as well as a specially made gold medal to mark the occasion, their Majesties then walked across from the across the bridge to the Southwark end where entertainments had included the ascension of a hot air balloon.
The King and the royal party then returned to the City end of the bridge to attend a banquet – guests were said to number 1,500 people – held under a pavilion erected atop the new structure.
The Gentleman's Magazine reported that food was provided by a coffee house proprietor, a Mr Leech, and was said to include 150 hams and tongues, 370 "dishes of chickens", and 300 turtles as well as 200 fruit tarts and 300 "ice-creams".
The King and royal party then returned up the river.
Rennie's bridge was replaced in the mid-20th century with another bridge which was officially opened by Queen Elizabeth II in 1973 and rather than being demolished, was sold to US oil magnate Robert P McCulloch who had it dismantled and shipped to Arizona where it was reconstructed at Lake Havasu City where it can now be seen.
A couple of sections of the bridge survive in London – two of its pedestrian alcoves, one of which can be found in Victoria Park in London's east and the other at King's College London.
There is a famous painting – Clarkson Stanfield's, The Opening of New London Bridge, 1 August 1831 – which captures the moment of the bridge's opening and is part of the Royal Collection.
PICTURES: Top – 'A View of the New London Bridge as It Appeared on the 1st August 1831, When Opened by His Majesty, King William the 4th', Unknown artist, Lithograph on paper, Photo © Tate (licensed under CC-BY-NC-ND 3.0 (Unported)); Right – The alcove in Victoria Park (Public Domain).
LondonLife – 'Really Good'…
October 4, 2016
A giant hand giving a thumbs-up, the latest commission to grace Trafalgar Square's famous Fourth Plinth, was unveiled late last month. Really Good, by UK artist David Shrigley stands seven metres high and features a disproportionately long thumb arising from a closed fist. The sculpture is the latest in a string of artworks to have graced the plinth which was built in 1841 and originally designed to hold a statue of King William IV but, thanks to a lack of money, remained empty until recent times. Speaking at the launch of the new work last month, the artist said the work was about "making the world a better place or it purports to actually make the world a better place". "Obviously, this is a ridiculous proposition, but I think it's a good proposition," The Independent reports him saying. "Artworks on their own are inanimate objects so they can't make the world a better place. It is us, so I guess we have to ask ourselves how we can do this." For more on the Fourth Plinth program, see www.london.gov.uk/what-we-do/arts-and-culture/art-and-design/fourth-plinth-2016
PICTURE: © Gautier Deblonde
This Week in London – War fashions; the "inventor" of Impressionism; looking a Gift Horse in the mouth; and, having a look at the Queen's House…
March 5, 2015
• A new exhibition exploring how fashion survived and even flourished during World War II has opened at the Imperial War Museum in Lambeth to mark the 70th anniversary of the war's end. Fashion on the Ration brings together more than 300 exhibits including clothes and accessories like the 'respirator carrier handbag', photographs and films as well as official documents from the period, letters and interviews. The exhibition is divided into six parts which examine in detail everything from the uniforms worn during the period to clothes rationing (introduced in 1941) and how the end of the war impacted fashion. Runs until 31st August. Admission charge applies. For more, see www.iwm.org.uk.
• The UK's first major exhibition devoted to Paul Durand-Ruel, the man who "invented Impressionism", has opened at the National Gallery off Trafalgar Square this week. Inventing Impressionism features around 85 works including some of Impressionism's greatest masterpieces, a number of which have never been seen in the UK before. The majority of the works were traded by Durand-Ruel (1831-1922) who is noted for having discovered and supported Impressionist painters like Monet, Pisarro, Degas and Renoir. Durand-Ruel purchased an astonishing 12,000 pictures between 1891 and 1922, including more than 1,000 Monets, about 1,500 Renoirs, more than 400 Degas', some 800 Pissarros and close to 200 Manets. The images on display include a series of rarely-seen portraits of the dealer and his family by Renoir which are being exhibited in the UK for the first time as well as five paintings from Manet's 'Poplars' series and all three of Renoir's famous 'Dances', not seen in the country together since 1985. The exhibition finishes with a reference to an exhibition Durand-Ruel organised in London in 1905. Held at the Grafton Galleries, it presented 315 paintings. Admission charge applies. Runs until 31st May. For more, see www.nationalgallery.org.uk.
• Gift Horse, New York-based German artist Hans Haacke's sculpture of a skeletal riderless horse, will be unveiled on the Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square today. The horse, derived from an etching by English painter George Stubbs – whose works are in the nearby National Gallery, features an electronic ribbon tied to the horse's front leg showing a live ticker of the London Stock Exchange. The statue, described as a 'wry comment' on the equestrian statue of King William IV which was originally to occupy the plinth, is the 10th to occupy the plinth since the first commission – Marc Quinn's sculpture Alison Lapper Pregnant – was unveiled in 2005.
• Contemporary artist Dryden Goodwin's first feature-length film is on show as part of a new exhibition, Unseen: The Lives of Looking, at the Queen's House in Greenwich. Continuing Goodwin's investigations into portraiture, the newly commissioned film focuses on three individuals who have a "compelling" relationship to looking – eye surgeon Sir Peng Tee Khaw, planetary explorer Professor Sanjeev Gupta and human rights lawyer Rosa Curling. Alongside the screening is a series of drawings made by Goodwin after observing the three individuals as well as tools and papers related to each of their trades and a series of objects connected three leading observers related to the history of the Royal Museums Greenwich sites – John Flamsteed, first Astronomer Royal, Edward Maunder, who observed Mars from the Royal Observatory Greenwich, and the artist Willem van de Velde the Elder who made detailed drawings of naval battles in preparation for producing paintings in his studio at the Queen's House. Runs until 26th July. Admission is free. For more, see www.rmg.co.uk.
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This Week in London – William Shakespeare's influence; new Fourth Plinth commissions; the car and landscape; and London Stories…
February 13, 2014
First up, apologies that we were unable to launch our new Wednesday series yesterday due to some technical difficulties (stayed tuned for next week). And now, on with the news…
• William Shakespeare's influence on successive generations of theatrical performance is the subject of a new exhibition at the V&A to mark the 450th anniversary of his birth on 23rd April. Shakespeare: Greatest Living Playwright centres on the Bard's First Folio which, published in 1623, contains 36 plays including 18 works – Macbeth, The Tempest and Twelfth Night among them – which would be unknown without it. The display includes interviews, archive footage and photography and objects from the V&A collections as well as an audio-visual presentation by Fifty Nine Productions featuring interviews with contemporary theatre practitioners such as actors, directors and designers. Objects on display include a skull used by Sarah Bernhardt when playing Hamlet in 1899, an embroidered handkerchief used by Ellen Terry when playing Desdemona in 1881 at the Lyceum Theatre, and a pair of red boots worn by actor-manager Henry Irving in an 1887 production of Richard III. Runs in the V&A's Theatre and Performance Galleries until 21st September. Admission is free. For more, see www.vam.ac.uk. PICTURE: Sarah Bernhardt as Hamlet, 1899, © Victoria and Albert Museum, London.
• A skeletal horse and a giant hand giving a thumbs up will adorn the Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square during 2015-16. Hans Haacke's Gift Horse is derived from an etching by painter George Stubbs and, while being a comment on the equestrian statue of King William IV which was intended for the plinth, also features an electronic ribbon displaying a live ticker of the London Stock Exchange on its front leg. Meanwhile David Shrigley's Really Good is a 10 metre high hand giving a thumbs up – sending a positive message to those who see it. For more, see www.london.gov.uk/priorities/arts-culture/fourth-plinth.
• The impact of the car on England's landscape and the listed buildings of motoring history are the focus of a new exhibition in Wellington Arch. Carscapes: How the Motor Car Reshaped England features archive photographs, historic advertising, cartoons and motoring magazines as well as a 1930s traffic light, a petrol pump and other accessories and memorabilia. Wellington Arch, which is managed by English Heritage, is a fitting location for the exhibition – it was moved to its current position due to increasing traffic back in 1883. Admission charge apply. For more, see www.english-heritage.co.uk.
• A new exhibition exploring some of the true and not-so-true stories inspired by and produced in London opens at the London Transport Museum in Covent Garden tomorrow. London Stories features the best entries from The Serco Prize for Illustration 2014 with more than 50 works of art on display depicting a well-known or obscure London narrative. The short-listed illustrations tackle everything from ghost buses to Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show of 1887, a Pearly King and Queen, Lenin's 'Love letter to London' and an escaped monkey jazz band. There's also a host of musical and literary references – everything from Mary Poppins to Sweeney Todd and Oranges and Lemons. Tomorrow there will be a late opening of the exhibition complete with cash bar, DJ and story-telling for adults as well as the chance to create your own London story with illustration workshops and a photo-booth. Organised by London Transport Museum in partnership with the Association of Illustrators, it runs until 6th April. Admission charge applies. For more, see www.ltmuseum.co.uk.
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Commonly thought to be older than it actually is due to its Gothic stylings (although, to be fair, parts of it do date from medieval times), the Palace of Westminster – or, as it's more commonly known, the Houses of Parliament – didn't actually take on much of its current appearance until the latter half of the 19th century.
The need for a new building for parliament arose after 1834 when a fire, caused by the overheating of two underfloor stoves used to incinerate the Exchequer's obsolete tally sticks, tore through the former complex, leaving only some structures from the old palace intact. They included the 11th century Westminster Hall (the largest in Europe when it was built), 14th century Jewel Tower and a chapterhouse, crypt and cloisters, all of which was once attached to the now gone St Stephen's Chapel.
While King William IV offered the use of Buckingham Palace for Parliament, the idea – along with a host of other options – was rejected as unsuitable. Instead, a competition was held for a new design and after almost 100 entries were considered, architect Charles Barry and his design for a new palace in the perpendicular Gothic style was chosen. Interestingly, while Barry was a classical architect, under the terms of the competition, designs were required to be in a Gothic style, thought to embody conservative values .
Incorporating some of the remains of the old palace – including Westminster Hall but not the Jewel Tower which to this day stands alone – the design was based around a series of internal courtyards with the House of Commons and House of Lords located on either side of a central lobby (first known as Octagonal Hall). The design involved reclaiming some land from the Thames so the building's main river-facing facade could be completed.
Towers stand at either end of the complex – the Victoria Tower over the Sovereign's Entrance at the southern end of the complex (for many years the tallest square stone tower in the world) and the narrower tower formerly known as the Clock Tower which houses the bell Big Ben, at the northern end – and there is a central Octagonal Tower which stands directly over the Central Lobby. The Clock Tower, incidentally, was renamed the Elizabeth Tower last year in honour of Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee (for more on it and Big Ben, see our earlier entries here and here).
Other towers include the Speaker's Tower (located at the northern end of the building on the waterfront, this contains a residence for the Speaker), the Chancellor's Tower (located at the southern end, it too contained a residence originally used by the Lord Chancellor) and St Stephen's Tower – located in the middle of the building's west front, it contains the public entrance to the building. Significant other rooms in the palace complex include the Robing Room – where the Queen puts on her ceremonial robes and crown before the State Opening of Parliament – and the Royal Gallery, used for state occasions.
The foundation stone (the building was constructed out of sand-coloured limestone from Yorkshire) was laid in 1840 and construction of the monumental building – which features more than 1,100 rooms and two miles of passageways – wasn't completely finished until the 1870s although most of the work had been completed by 1860 (the year Barry died). The House of Lords first sat in their new chamber in 1847 and the House of Commons in 1852 (it was at this point that Barry was knighted for his work).
The cost, meanwhile, originally estimated at less than £750,000, ended up coming in at more than £2 million.
Much of the interior decoration owes its appearance to the Gothic revivalist Augustus Pugin who designed everything from wallpapers, to floor tiles and furnishings. Pugin also helped Barry with the external appearance but like Barry died before the project was completely finished (in 1852).
The palace was bombed numerous times in World War II – in one raid, the Commons Chamber was destroyed as firefighters opted to save the much older Westminster Hall instead. It was later rebuilt under the direction of Sir Giles Gilbert Scott and completed by 1950. Other aspects of the building have also been restored.
A Grade I-listed building classified as a World Heritage Site, Barry's Houses of Parliament remain one of London's most iconic structures. We'll be looking in more detail at some of the building's features in future posts.
WHERE: Houses of Parliament (nearest Tube stations are Westminster, St James's Park and Embankment); WHEN: Tours (75 minutes) are run from 9.15am to 4.30pm on Saturdays (also six days a week during summer opening); COST: £15 adults/£10 concessions/£6 children five to 15 years (children under five are free). Prices go up after 1st April – check website for details and to purchase tickets (tours for UK residents, including climbing the Elizabeth Tower, can also be arranged through your MP); WEBSITE: www.parliament.uk.
For more, see Robert Wilson's guide to the The Houses of Parliament or David Cannadine's indepth, The Houses of Parliament: History, Art, Architecture. For more on the story of the fire in 1834, see head parliamentary archivist Caroline Shenton's recent book The Day Parliament Burned Down.
What's in a Name?…Trafalgar Square
August 20, 2012
It wasn't until some time after Admiral Lord Nelson's victory over the French fleet in the Battle of Trafalgar off the coast of Spain on 21st October, 1805, that the large public space in Westminster we now know as Trafalgar Square took its name.
Prior to the development of the square, much of the area it covers was occupied the King's Mews – stables linked to the Palace of Whitehall – and was simply seen as part of the district known as Charing Cross (named for the memorial cross which stood close to where the equestrian statue of King Charles I now stands – for more on this, see our earlier post and follow the links).
Following the relocation of the Mews in the early 19th century, plans were drawn up by architect-of-the-age John Nash to redevelop the area while the square itself, completed in 1845, was designed by Sir Charles Barry (best known for his work on the Houses of Parliament).
The final design incorporated a statue of Admiral Lord Nelson atop a column, known as 'Nelson's Column', in the centre – apparently against Barry's wishes (see our earlier post for more on Nelson's Column).
Originally designed with an upper terrace and a lower piazza linked by stairs at the eastern and western end of the terrace, the square contains two fountains on either side of the column – the current fountains were designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens in 1937-9 and replaced earlier ones.
It was originally suggested that the square be named King William IV Square but it was apparently architect George Ledwell Taylor who provided the alternative of Trafalgar Square in honor of Nelson's great battle.
Bordered by significant landmarks including the National Gallery to the north, the church of St Martin's-in-the-Fields to the north-east, South Africa House to the east and Canada House to the west, the square stands at the confluence of a number of major roadways including Whitehall, Strand, Charing Cross Road and The Mall.
Aside from the aforementioned statue of King Charles I, monuments within the square include Nelson's Column along with plinths set in the four corners of the square. These bear statues of King George IV, Victorian military figures General Sir Charles James Napier and Major-General Sir Henry Havelock while the fourth plinth, located in the north-west corner, was originally intended to bear an equestrian statue of King William IV.
Instead, it was left empty for many years before the advent of the Fourth Plinth project under which a variety of contemporary artworks – most recently a massive sculpture of a boy astride a rocking horse – have occupied the space (you can see a picture of the current work in our earlier post here).
The square, once known as the home of thousands of pigeons before these were banished midway through last decade to allow greater public use of the space, also features the busts of three admirals – John Jellicoe, David Beatty and Andrew Cunningham, located against the north wall under the terrace.
There are also two statues on a lawn in front of the National Gallery – these are of US President George Washington and King James II. Curiously, the square also features a small pillar box in the south-east corner, referred to by some as the smallest police station in London.
A renovation project in 2003 pedestrianised the roadway along the north side of the square and installed a central stairway between the the upper and lower levels along with lifts, public toilets and a cafe.
For some more on the history of Trafalgar Square, see Jean Hood's Trafalgar Square: A Visual History of London's Landmark Through Time.
The Royal Wedding – Royal residences…
April 27, 2011
Word is that Prince William and his soon-to-be wife, Catherine Middleton, have yet to formally decide where they will live when in London (they are expected to spend much of their first two-and-a-half years of marriage in North Wales).
Their initial London base, however, will reportedly be Clarence House. Located in The Mall, just down the road from Buckingham Palace and beside St James's Palace, the grand building is currently the home of William's father Charles, the Prince of Wales, his wife Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, and, William's brother, Prince Harry (it is also the home of William himself).
In years gone past, Clarence House served as the home of the newly married Queen Elizabeth II (then Princess Elizabeth) and her husband, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. Prince Charles, who lived there with his parents until the age of three, returned to the property in August 2003 after the death of his grandmother Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, who had lived in the building from 1953.
Clarence House was built between 1825 and 1827 to the designs of architect John Nash on the orders of Prince William Henry, the Duke of Clarence and later King William IV.
Choices for a permanent home in London for the soon-to-be married couple reportedly include Buckingham Palace (see yesterday's entry), as well as Kensington Palace.
It was converted from a Jacobean mansion for King William III and Queen Mary II and has since been the home of many royals including, most famously, Diana, Princess of Wales. She and her then husband, Prince Charles, moved in following their wedding in 1981, and Princess Diana continued to live there after her divorce in 1996.
Other notable royal residents have included Queen Anne and Princess Margaret, sister of Queen Elizabeth II.
Another option – St James's Palace – was built in 1531 on the site of a medieval leper hospital by King Henry VIII. Used initially for state occasions and to house royal relatives (Tudor monarchs actually lived at Whitehall Palace), it became the official royal residence in 1702, when Whitehall Palace burnt down, and remained so until the 1830s when King George III moved to Buckingham Palace.
The Royal Wedding – London's royal reception venue
April 26, 2011
Following the wedding ceremony at Westminster Abbey on Friday, the now married happy couple will head in a carriage via a processional route down The Mall to Buckingham Palace.
There, they will enjoy a champagne reception with 600 guests hosted by the Queen before, at 1.30pm, appearing on the balcony of the palace to wave to the crowds and watch an aircraft flypast expected to include a Lancaster, Spitfire, Hurricane, two Typhoons and two Tornados.
Buckingham Palace, which has served as the official London residence of the reigning monarch since 1837, has a long tradition of hosting royal events. Then much smaller and known as Buckingham House, the property was built for the Duke of Buckingham in 1705.
It passed into royal hands when it was bought by King George III in 1761 for his wife, Queen Charlotte, to use as a family home located conveniently close to St James's Palace where many court functions were held.
The house was extensively remodelled in 1762 and again, this time on the orders of King George IV, in the 1820s (after initially wanting to use it, like his father, as a family home, the king decided after the works had started to instead transform it into a palace, created to the designs of architect John Nash).
When King George IV died in 1830, his brother King William IV ordered the works to be continued albeit with a new architect, Edward Blore (the spiralling costs of Nash's work are said to have cost him the contract). The king himself never lived in the house – even offering at at one stage as a seat for Parliament after the Houses of Parliament were destroyed by fire in 1834 – and it wasn't until the accession of Queen Victoria in 1837 that the palace became the sovereign's official residence.
Further works were subsequently needed to ensure there was adequate accommodations for the Queen's family and it was during these works that the monumental Marble Arch – designed as the centrepiece of the palace's courtyard – was moved away to its present location on the north-eastern corner of Hyde Park.
The palace, which now boasts 775 rooms including 19 staterooms, has since been the site of numerous royal wedding receptions – it was on the balcony where Queen Elizabeth II and Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, greeted crowds on 20th November, 1947, after their wedding in Westminster Abbey and, similarly, where Prince William's parents, Prince Charles and Princess Diana, held a reception before greeting crowds on 29th July, 1981, after their ceremony at St Paul's Cathedral.
Buckingham Palace was also the location for Queen Victoria's wedding breakfast following the ceremony in the Chapel Royal at St James's Palace on 10th February, 1840.
Famous Londoners – Sir Robert Peel
March 22, 2011
Credited as the creator of the Metropolitan Police Force, Sir Robert Peel was a two-time Prime Minister who oversaw landmark social reforms in arenas ranging from the workplace and prisons to trade.
Born on 5th February, 1788, into a wealthy Lancashire family (his father, also Robert Peel, was a cotton mill owner), Sir Robert was educated at Harrow and Oxford before entering parliament as part of the Duke of Wellington's Tory government in 1809.
He married in 1820 and he and his wife Julia Floyd, the youngest daughter of General Sir John Floyd, had five sons and two daughters.
Having served in roles including under-secretary for wars and colonies and chief secretary for Ireland during his early political life, Sir Robert was appointed Home Secretary in 1822. It was during his subsequent time in the office that he introduced many reforms related to prisons and law and order – including reducing the number of crimes punishable by death by about 100 – and at the same time ordered the foundation of the Metropolitan Police Force (the terms 'Bobby' and 'Peeler' are both references to his name).
Having later spent time on the Opposition benches, he became Prime Minister in 1834 after Earl Grey's Whig Government was dismissed by King William IV. It was during this time that he issued the famous Tamworth Manifesto, seen as a defining moment in the creation of the Conservative Party. But frustrated at the minority government, he resigned a year later.
It wasn't until 1841 that Sir Robert returned to government, again becoming Prime Minister. Subsequent years saw him overseeing the introduction of laws forbidding the employment of women and children underground, limiting working hours for women and children in factories, and, after a long fight, repealing the trade-restricting Corn Laws – a party-splitting act which was apparently a bid to free up more food for the Irish population then in the midst of a devastating famine.
Sir Robert resigned from politics in 1846 and died four years later on 2nd July, 1850, after he was injured falling from a horse in Constitution Hill, London. He was buried at his home, Drayton Manor, near Tamworth in Staffordshire.
The city's most famous statue of Sir Robert stands in Parliament Square, outside the Palace of Westminster.
Wren's London – 9. Marlborough House
November 10, 2010
We're nearing the end of our series on Wren's London (next week we'll take a final look at some of the Wren designs we've not yet mentioned), so this week we look at one of his lesser known (and less accessible) designs – Marlborough House.
Tucked away behind high brick walls next to St James' Palace just off Pall Mall, Marlborough House was built for Sarah Churchill, the Duchess of Marlborough – a confidant of Queen Anne – and completed in 1711.
The duchess, who secured a lease of the site from Queen Anne, selected Sir Christopher as the architect in preference to Sir John Vanbrugh, but she later fell out with Wren and, after dismissing him, oversaw the completion of the building herself. It is believed that the design of the house was actually the work of Wren's son, also named Christopher, although the plans were undoubtedly drawn up under Wren senior's watchful eye.
The house, built of red Dutch bricks brought to England as ballast in troop transports, was noted for its plain design. But the walls of the central salon and staircases were decorated with scenes of battles the Duke had fought in.
The property remained in the hands of the Dukes of Marlborough until it was acquired by the Crown in 1817. The building – which was substantially extended in the mid 1800s to the designs of Sir James Pennethorne – was subsequently used by members of the royal family including Princess Charlotte (only daughter of the future King George IV) and her husband Prince Leopold (later the King of the Belgians), Queen Adelaide, widow of William IV, Edward, Prince of Wales (later Edward VII), George, Prince of Wales (later George V), King Edward VII's widow, Queen Alexandra, and, lastly, Queen Mary, widow of George V.
Following the death of the Queen Dowager in 1953, Queen Elizabeth II donated it for use by the Commonwealth Secretariat who still occupy the building today.
WHERE: Pall Mall (nearest Tube stations are Green Park and Piccadilly); WHEN: Two hour tours are usually held every Tuesday morning (check first); WEBSITE: www.thecommonwealth.org/Internal/191086/34467/marlborough_house/


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App Report for Target Smash Blitz
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Press Buzz
The Need for Professional Development
Richard Foulkes Questions Vince Cable UK Secretary of State
Richard Foulkes Chairs BVEP All Party Parliamentary update at Confex 2014
A Visit to Dubai
With the help of Moulden Marketing a action packed weekend was had in Dubai just prior to the onslaught of GIBTM in Abu Dhabi.
Hosted in magnificent style by Dubai DMC Four Corners Events we where shown some of the best of the region.
A checkin to the new J W Marriott Marquis did not disappoint with over 800 rooms currently open (and another 800 soon to open) and views to die for Not wanting to make this the usual troll through Hotels and meeting rooms after our weekend commenced with a Spectacular Seaplane flight, a tour of the downtown area in a convoy of Harley Davidsons, Lunch at the Armani Hotel and a never ending stream of activities and surprises.
Thanks to all that put this trip together - one to remember.
Live Union Host First Ideas Exchange
Live Union hosts first Ideas Exchange
Comments on first industry collaboration meeting
Richard Foulkes comments of gathering of industry association heads on 31st July 2103
1-10 of 19


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Needlework Tuesday is an occasional post detailing my needlework and/or crafting projects.
Last week, I mentioned that I had lots of yarn leftover from the Mary Maxim knitted rabbit project. I wanted to use up the yarn before it got lost in my stash, so I decided on a small car seat sized baby blanket. It's rather small, roughly 18"x20", but I wasn't sure how much yarn it would take. I probably should have made it bigger. However, I hate running out of yarn in the middle of a project, especially one that I'm only making to use up yarn. Here it is:
If I had known more (or anything for that matter) about "car seat blankets" I would have put a hole in it to accommodate the buckle(?). Whatever. It blocked beautifully, even though it looks a little wonky here.
After finishing that, I found a free pattern for a Basic Baby Hat on ravelry.com. The pattern featured 5 sizes. I figured I'd shoot for the middle, 12 months, and see what I had left.
As it turns out, I have more yarn leftover than I realized. Oh well, these hats knit up so quickly I don't mind making another one. I'll start on the next size up and go from there. For me there's no such thing as too much practice with knitting in a round with double pointed needles. Besides, this soft self-striping yarn is fun to play with. So, it's all good. These items will be donated.
As for next week, have you seen the lovely leaf stitching over at Bayou Quilts? I'm going to use that as inspiration to see what I can come up with. I'll also finish up the baby hat I started and see what other project I can get into.
Needlework Tuesday is hosted by Heather over at Books and Quilts. If you'd done any crafting this week that you'd like to share with others, please head over to Heather's blog and use the Mr. Linky to link up your post, so others can enjoy your creations.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Needlework Tuesday - Baby Knits
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Country's Family Reunion Collection: Original Series
Item #: 7320540-DVD
(16 Hours, Color) 10 DVD Set! Over 130 Performances! As Seen On TV! This collection features stories, laughter and tears--and over 130 original live performances. You'll sit down with some of the legends of country music and listen to the s...Typically Ships in 5 to 7 business days


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Malta's Stunning Capital To Provide Backdrop To International Charity Run & Walk
Valletta has been chosen as the backdrop the international Global Run Valletta – talk about a scenic route!
Photo by belafon87 / Instagram
Marathon season is feared by most Facebook users. But this time – it's different.
A new international run has just been announced, and it will revolutionise your news feed. It's called Global Run Valletta and is being organised by Global Ports Holding, the people behind the Global Run Series. Its main aim is to promote running and active lifestyle – encouraging participants to live healthily all year round, not just during the event.
Valletta has been chosen to provide runners with the most epic backdrop as they race for charity. It's in good company too – past Global Runs have been held in Kotor, Montenegro and Bodrum, Turkey. The gorgeous Valletta Waterfront and Cruise Port will the starting point and event area.
Here's all you need to know about the event:
It's for a super good cause
Registered participants will be running and walking for Puttinu Cares – one of Malta's most loved charities for its inspiring work in supporting the people in need, especially those battling cancer.
So all participants need to do is pay €10 to take part in the 10K run, or €5 for the 5K run, or the 5K walk. That all goes towards helping people. So you come out of it 1) fit AF 2) an amazing person.
You can go solo or in a group
Whether you prefer to go it alone, or are looking to reach your ultimate squad goals – this is the race for you. The event accepts both individual, family and corporate registrations.
Photography-junkies can also join the party
The organisers are calling on photography professionals and enthusiasts to enter a competition which aims to capture the spectacle of the race.
The competition 'GRV – Sports & Tourism' is open to all residents of Malta and Gozo (18+ years age at the time of submission). Prizes include cash awards and certificates while the top 13 entries may be featured on the Global Run Valletta 2017 annual calendar.
It's totes profesh
Global Run Valletta promotes running and active lifestyle. It's a super high-quality event, and has been set up in accordance with the regulations of the International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF) and the Malta Amateur Athletics Association (MAAA).
So if you want to up your runner-cred – this is the event for you.
Your Instagram feed will love it
How often do you get a legitimate chance to take stretching-selfies against the Grand Harbour as a backdrop? Seize this unparalleled photo-op.
Valletta gets yet another shout out
Everyone knows we're always looking for another reason to show the world how truly awesome Valletta is.
READ NEXT: 3 Videos That Will Make You Want to Visit Valletta Today
Sponsored By Global Run Valletta
Global Run Valletta will be taking place on the 30th October 2016 – so you'd better get cracking if you are thinking of registering! Global Ports Holding – the event organiser and world's largest cruise port operator – has selected Puttinu Cares as the marathon's beneficiary for its inspiring work in supporting the needy, especially those locked into a battle with cancer.
"As a passionate runner myself, I can say that nothing feels more alive than finishing the line. Puttinu Cares is a perfect match for Global Run Valletta for it is dedicated to help people cross that important line in life and keep their aspirations and hopes alive," said Stephen Xuereb, Chief Operating Officer of Global Ports Holding and Chief Executive Officer of Valletta Cruise Port.
"Global Run Valletta is a remarkable new effort to elevate the profile of Valletta, and thereby Malta, and Puttinu Cares and its mission stand to benefit from the international spotlight this event will bring on us. Being the recipient charity is a great recognition of the work of Puttinu Cares. We think that the choice of Puttinu Cares is a great finisher's medal even before the race has begun," said Dr Victor Calvagna, chairman of Puttinu Cares Foundation
The 10K and 5K races and a 5K walk are expected to attract the attention of avid runners and professional athletes both in Malta and from other countries. It's a fun family event that you will not want to miss out on!
For detailed entry information and registration one can visit www.globalrunvalletta.com. The excitement surrounding Global Run Valletta 2016 can be followed on facebook.com/globalrunseries and instagram.com/globalrunseries


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|Farscape episode
|"Natural Election"
|Episode no.
| Season 4
Episode 06
|Guest star(s)
|Raelee Hill (Sikozu); Melissa Jaffer (Noranti)
|Sophie C. Hopkins
|Ian Watson
|Production no.
|Original airdate
|July 19, 2002 (US); November 4, 2002 (UK)
|Episode chronology
|← Previous
|Next →
|"John Quixote"
Moya's encounter with a deadly space plant threatens to engulf her, while more secrets about Aeryn's pregnancy surface.
Moya is sitting at a dead stop in the middle of open space because John thinks a wormhole will form soon. Aeryn Sun is pacing up and down command, while Rygel whines to Ka D'Argo, who promised John two arns to wait for the wormhole while he was captain. Rygel is now acting Captain, as the crew are taking it in turns until a permanent captain is decided. Chiana comes to command, and asks if John's found any wormholes. "Ba-boom," John announces, "wormhole in diez, nueve, ocho..." but when he gets to one, nothing happens. Sikozu asks if he knows what he did wrong. "You mean other than getting up this morning?" Pilot asks for Rygel's orders, as John goes over to Aeryn. Sikozu follows him, but Aeryn asks if she'll excuse them. "Can I speak to you?" she asks John, "Quite a few things I'd like to say." "There's a lot of things I'd like to hear," John replies. She invites him to her quarters, when a wormhole appears, to everyone's surprise. Sikozu looks particularly impressed at John's prediction. As Rygel is about to give Pilot his orders, something hits Moya, causing explosions and sending everyone to the floor. Rygel looks outside and asks anxiously "What happened to the stars?"
Rygel panics, prompting a slap from Chiana. Pilot says that Moya is convulsing unlike anything he's experienced before. Since they weren't moving something hit Moya, and Pilot says that not a single sensed neuron on Moya's skin is transmitting; he has no readings. "That cannot be right," Sikozu points out. "It is, you disagreeable hi-" Pilot begins but is cut off by John, who asks how that can be right. Something is attacking Moya's sensor; her skin is burning all at once. Since Pilot says under these circumstances, a hull breech would go undetected; Aeryn takes Chiana to do a perimeter hull search. Sikozu calls to ask if Scorpius is alright, and he says he'd appreciate being let out. "Absolutely not!" John says immediately, and comms Noranti, who doesn't answer. She is in the cooking room, muttering words that eventually lead to her screaming "Flora... PLANT!" Rygel asks Sikozu what kind of plant lives in space. John and D'Argo go to check the hill and determine it is some kind of plant, so they take samples. Scorpius asks for some assistance, since a fire has broken out in his cell. Sikozu races to put it out, and Chiana follows to see what she's up to. She reminds Sikozu that Scorpius is a prisoner; the doors stay closed. "Does he look like he's trying to escape?" Sikozu asks. Chiana doesn't really care, and calls her out of the cell. She corners Sikozu against the wall, telling her that they know Scorpius better than her, he probably started the fire himself. Scorpius is listening, and objects, pointing out fires starting all down the hall.
John says that the plant is oozing something that dissolves metal, while Aeryn says that Moya's fluids are rushing in to protect her internal organs, causing ruptures everywhere. D'Argo comments that it's playing havoc with his eyes, while Aeryn says that they have to get it off Moya's skin. D'Argo decides that they'll blast it off with Lo'La.
D'Argo and John fly out with Lo'La, and see Moya completely covered up. When Pilot asks how bad it is, they decide it best to not tell him the details. Aeryn is with Pilot in his den, and asks how they missed it. "We didn't," he says, "We assumed it was debris." It snuck up while they were distracted by the wormhole. Aeryn tells him not to give up, and he adds that if Moya's skin becomes irreparably damaged, she will not recover. "We'll fix it," she assures him.
John says they have one last chance, and should they wait. "What, so Noranti can tell us how to make a great salad?" D'Argo asks, "No. See plant, kill plant." Chiana walks along and spots Aeryn in a corridor, standing around watching a leak. Chiana points it out, and Aeryn tells her what it is and that it can linger in your bloodstream. "Never stopped you before," Chiana says as she seals it. "Yeah, well this time I'm pregnant." Chiana is surprised, and asks if she was before or after she left Moya. "Before." "Does Crichton know?" Chiana asks. Aeryn shakes her head. "Somebody else?" Chiana asks in surprise. "Possibly," Aeryn replies, adding that she only found out on the command carrier and hasn't had a chance to DNA test yet. "Your life is so much more interesting than mine," Chiana says. "Can I trust you?" Aeryn asks. "Yeah." "I don't want you to tell John," she says. "No way, never, never. That's, that's your speech."
D'Argo is preparing to fire, so Moya won't feel a thing. John asks Sikozu if they've found anything, but she says nothing unexpected. The plant secretes an acid which dissolves metal which it then ingests. She mentions that the gravitational pull of the wormhole likely drove the plant to Moya. D'Argo initiates the firing sequence, as the pot Noranti is cooking the plant in bursts making her mutter "eat." D'Argo tells John something he's never put into words before, "Well, you know how I love shooting things!" John is not too sure, but decides not to spoil his fun. Just as they fire, Noranti shouts "Don't shoot the plant!" Sikozu comms them to hold their fire and not shoot the plant, but it's too late. John and D'Argo return to Moya, and Sikozu tells them that the plant eats much faster when attacked (having eaten through Noranti's pot rather than allow itself to be cooked) as a defense mechanism, it's eaten its way through Moya's hull already. John sees some roots and pulls them, causing large chunks of the ship to come apart with them, and revealing the infestation is spreading fast in the ships innards. Aeryn gives herself and D'Argo gas masks, while Chiana climbs down from a duct and says there's no way she's going back up there again, seemingly having been affected in some way. She says there's plant as far as she can see, and then gets hyper that the plant's acid has gotten on her, rubbing fiercely at her clothes; so Aeryn takes her away to try help her. D'Argo blames himself for the situation, but John points out that they all agreed to the plan so they all screwed up.
The lights go down and Rygel pesters Pilot to find the problem. Chiana and D'Argo meet up in the corridor, where D'Argo says that he thinks the plant is spawning. "It's not the only one" Chiana says. "You're pregnant?!" D'Argo asks. "No, not me, Aeryn," she replies. D'Argo is surprised, but Chiana isn't finished. When D'Argo asks if John knows, she says yes, but he doesn't know that it might not be his. D'Argo mentions the John on Talyn, having the same DNA, but Chiana adds it might not be John Crichton's. "Well then, whose?" D'Argo asks. "Good question." D'Argo asks who told her, and she says Rygel. She asks him to swear that he won't say anything, but he just walks away.
Noranti tells Sikozu that this Leviathan is in much pain; it's dying. "Leviathans are good, good things shouldn't have to die." Sikozu says that's why they have to work on this plant. Noranti doesn't know what to do, and Sikozu suggests a poison. Noranti says that she knows a lot of poisons... A frustrated Sikozu tries to get her to concentrate on a solution.
In his cell, Scorpius notices something about the plant. Meanwhile, Chiana goes to Aeryn and says there's no plant in Moya's neural tissue. Aeryn tells Chiana that they have other nodes to check, but as Chiana goes to leave, Aeryn asks her to forget that they had the pregnancy conversation. Chiana worriedly says sure, but that Aeryn had to tell someone. "Yeah, umm, now I'm really regretting that I did," Aeryn says, "I may not even tell him." Chiana is surprised, but Aeryn says she can't tell him she doesn't know. Chiana agrees to forget, saying it's OK.
John goes to Scorpius' cell to see what he wanted. Scorpius shows John that he can somehow repel the plant. Aeryn tells John that she has good news – there's no plant in the neural cluster. John says that it must not like the toubray tissue, when suddenly explosions erupt around Aeryn. She climbs up, and finds Pilot apparently unconscious, severely drooling from the mouth. Then suddenly he starts convulsing...
John and D'Argo hope that the plant is repelled by Scorpius' coolant rods (as opposed to his noxious personality, he jokes). Sikozu explains to D'Argo that there's no metal in neural clusters but there is in the regulators – when they jammed they exploded. Aeryn ties Scorpius down to the controls in Pilot's den, although he's annoyed at the restraints, since he wants to help in any way he can. Aeryn believes him, but the others don't. Scorpius manages to repel the plant, and elsewhere John also manages to use a rod to do so. Sikozu says she'll see how far she can dilute the remaining rods down. D'Argo tells John he knows Aeryn is pregnant – Chiana told him, and Rygel told her. John is hurt that others have been told but not him yet. D'Argo tells him, "Aeryn isn't sure if the child is John Crichton's." "The thought had crossed my mind," John replies, and then asks what D'Argo thinks. "I think either way you're going to get hurt, so, err, look after yourself."
Noranti tastes some poisons, to find out what is working specifically. "You defy the whole theory of natural selection," Sikozu tells her. Noranti laughs, and Sikozu tells her that this crew is trying to save them, and this ship, and if their plan fails... They need to find out what component of the coolant is working.
D'Argo goes to command to see why Rygel isn't helping. D'Argo tells him that he's often insufferable, but it's not his fault. "I was captain," Rygel says, but D'Argo retorts that they can't avoid something they can't detect. He adds that Rygel should hate himself for other reasons, "like sulking while others are out there risking their lives." So, to pull himself together and do something to help the situation, not hinder it.
John asks Pilot if they'll be OK in the fan room, and although phased he gives the OK. John asks Aeryn if she wants to talk. "I appreciate you waiting for this appropriate time and place," she says sarcastically. "Yeah, I got pretty good at waiting," he retorts. They position the buckets of thinned coolant rod substance under two fans. Rygel says that even the DRDs have given up – the fungus is everywhere. John and Aeryn wait for the liquid to evaporate into the air stream. "You know we don't have a contingency plan," Aeryn points out. "This'll work. Unless that plant can mutate in 5 minutes what could go wrong?" John asks. Suddenly, as the plant creeps into the fan's turbine, it breaks it apart and it smashes to the ground, knocking over the buckets at the same time. John tells the others the liquid is lost down the drain; and then notices Aeryn on the floor next to him, bleeding.
"Does it hurt? Where?" John asks. "Where it's bleeding," she says, slapping his hand away. Rygel asks when John's wormhole will open again, as they've drifted directly over its coordinates. Aeryn asks if D'Argo's ship could move Moya, but Scorpius says it's hardly worth the effort - this Leviathan is gone. D'Argo says it's worth the risk, and Sikozu says Noranti has isolated the compound. Noranti explains what it is, and Sikozu points out they have it – it's within Moya's filter system. John instructs DRD "1812" to get the other DRDs to help, and asks Chiana if she's sure she wants to be here. She agrees, as her body reflects radiation. Aeryn says she'll stay and activated the DRDs simultaneously. "What about the radiation," John asks. "I can handle it," she replies. "What about the baby?" Aeryn rolls her eyes and spits "I'm going to kill her!" (meaning Chiana - for her big mouth.) D'Argo asks for volunteers to take her place, and Rygel goes forth. D'Argo, along with Sikozu, Aeryn and Noranti leave Moya. John and Chiana go to stop a fan spinning, by blocking it with a pole. Scorpius instructs Pilot on what to do. "If this goes bad," Rygel says to Scorpy, "Please die first, so my last moment can be joyous." John starts flushing the mist through the ship, as Scorpius says the radiation makes him stronger. Rygel, swallowing down hard, starts regretting his jibe.
D'Argo pushes Moya clear, as John counts down successfully to the resurgence of the wormhole. 1812 confirms the mist is spread, but as Rygel goes to ignite it, Pilot awakes shouting "Wormhole!" and holds Rygel back away from the controls. Sikozu says too much mist will cause an explosion. Rygel can't get to the controls, so Scorpius hacks off Pilot's arm to get him free. Rygel manages to hit the control, and the mist is ignited, and the plant is burnt up, finally destroyed. Chiana loses her grip on the pole and falls, and is dragged toward a vertical fan. John manages to grab her just in time but he's quickly loosing grip, so he screams at Rygel to shut off the fans. Rygel panics, unsure what to do, but manages to shut it down just ahead of time. Chiana stands up and her trousers are scuffed, so John laughs at her. An elated Rygel is self-congratulating his own efforts, saying he had done it. A scoffing Scorpius sits in the background thoroughly unimpressed, for if it wasn't for his help...
Pilot announces the results of the voting for captaincy. Moya abstained, and Scorpius was not allowed to vote so therefore there were eight people participating altogether. There was one vote for Rygel (who clearly voted for himself), one vote for Aeryn, amazingly there was one vote for Scorpius (courtesy of Sikozu), one vote for the Divine Eternal (from Noranti) and four votes for their new captain... D'Argo!
While John is in the fan room with the DRDs Aeryn approaches him to talk about the pregnancy. Aeryn asserts that she didn't want to tell him until she was sure and that she no longer sees a distinction between either Crichton. John in return shows a distaste over her not being aware of who the father was. She explains that military campaigns can last many cycles. Those born on a command carrier can retain an embryonic fetus for up to seven cycles. This could perhaps be from four cycles before she even met John, and only a surgeon can release the stasis so the baby can grow; when she left, she didn't even make it that far.
John, still angered, says that he figures relationships are built on trust and that while he would easily put his life in her hands, he's more wary of doing the same with his heart. A saddened Aeryn asks what she can then now do, as she's prepared to do whatever necessary, whatever he needs, to put this right again. To regain his trust. John pulls away, stands up, and says "Come back when you get your story straight!", then leaves a now crushed Aeryn, with tears in her eyes, alone.
Memorable quotesEdit
- D'Argo: See plant kill plant
- John: that has got to be on the Luxan coat of arms
- D'Argo: John, I'm going to tell you something I've never actually put into words before. I love shooting things.
- (D'Argo shoots the plant)
- D'Argo: And you know what? I'm very good at it.
- Rygel (to Scorpius): If this goes bad, please die first, so my last moment can be joyous.
- John: Does it hurt?
- Aeryn: Uh huh.
- John: Where?
- Aeryn: Where it's bleeding!
Background informationEdit
- The fan/scrubber room was created for this episode by Tim Ferrier. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
- Jim Henson's Creature Shop proposed creating a master plant similar to "Audrey Two" from Little Shop of Horrors. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
- This episode is the first time Crichton accurately predicts a wormhole's appearance. Ben Browder and the writers tried to make it more of a mystical experience rather than a scientific calculation. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v4.1)
- For some reason John has decided to add a little Spanish to his vocabulary, in this case doing the count down in Spanish. Later, in "I Shrink, Therefore I Am" he continues to use Spanish on occasion.
- For the first time, Moya assumes a command structure as D'Argo officially becomes her captain.
Links and referencesEdit
- Ben Browder as John Crichton
- Claudia Black as Aeryn Sun
- Anthony Simcoe as Ka D'Argo
- Gigi Edgley as Chiana
- Wayne Pygram as Scorpius
Guest starsEdit
Voice artistsEdit
- Jonathan Hardy as Rygel
- Lani Tupu as Pilot
arn; atmospheric scrubber room; Audrey; budong; Command; command carrier; comms; coolant rod; cycle; DRD; DRD "1812"; fahrbot; flax; Fluffy; frell; frellnik; Glinda; hamman; Hindrati petal tea; Leviathan; Little Shop of Horrors; Lo'La; Luxan; microt; Moya; narl; neural cluster; nixar; onion; PBS; Pip; pumpkin; Purple Haze; ripnitz; Scalon vapor; sense neuron; sentra chord; shilquen; solanterum; solanterum fobex; Sparky; SPF; Sputnik; Talyn; The Wizard of Oz; toubray fiber; wormhole; yotz
External linkEdit
- Farscape World Synopsis by Dani Moure


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Friday, February 5, 2016
You're Enough
You are enough. All of you. The parts you like. The parts you don't. The gifts you have. Those you never will. When waves land on beaches and you decide you should be the ocean. When you are the ocean, but decide you should be the mountains. All of it. You are enough.
You are enough. The stories you breathe. All the ones you don't or haven't or perhaps never will. All the ones you can't, because sometimes there isn't breath and just because. All of it. You are enough.
You are enough. All the things you want, but haven't dared, haven't spoken, or worse, have spoken and someone laughed. The wants you're flippant about, when really you're not. The wants you hold inside so hard, wants caged behind your ribs. All of it. You are enough.
You are enough. When people arrive. When people leave. When others don't get you. When they do. When people walk out, walk in or walk through you. When people leave gaping holes. Especially then. Still.
You are enough.
Because maybe you don't need to hear it. Maybe you do.
I know I do.
So I simply wanted to say.
Tab, you are enough.
16 comments:
Argh ... this is my arch enemy, my shampoo in the eyes, my nails down the blackboard! I soooo struggle with believing I am enough. Some days I cruise along firmly believing this, others I just wake up - my own enemy - demanding more, believing I am less. Some days I nod my head at this thinking "yep", then its gone.ReplyDeleteReplies
Me too! One million times, me too. And Miss Julie, you ARE enough. Xx and a huge blessing in my life.Delete
You are enough. More than enough, I suspect. Thank you for this reminder to cherish ourselves.ReplyDelete
Thanks Liza. :)ReplyDelete
Just lovely! And a much needed reminder. Thank you!ReplyDeleteReplies
Thanks :) lovely to see you here againDelete
God, I missed your writing, Tab. You are not only enough. You are a gift.ReplyDelete
Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me. Always have xReplyDelete
*big hugs* Enough, and more.ReplyDelete
Brilliant expression of a universal feeling.ReplyDelete
Very powerful! And so true. In the end, all that really matters is what WE think of ourselves.ReplyDeleteReplies
Thank you Stephanie :) I agreeDelete
We are in sync. I posted about this too and love love love your empowering words. Happy weekend.ReplyDelete
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDelete
I loved your writing Tabitha. Its very powerful.ReplyDelete
Congratulations, you won the query critique giveaway with Agent Liza Fleissig on my blog. Drop me a email and I will give you Liza's email id and also alert her about the winner.Replies
Wonderful! Thank you! I will email now :)Delete


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Economics, Population, And Religion
Particular education is filled with terms that people continuously use in writing and in dialog, and it's vital to know what those phrases imply. CPIR is pleased to provide this handy reference to particular education terminology, and hopes it helps our readers rapidly join with the meaning of pivotal words and phrases in the field. In my humble opinion now we have to stop thinking of Education as an trade. We have to come to some settlement on what the outcome of a great education is. The result or the Revenue isn't going to be in financial phrases. Maybe each pupil wants develop an Individual Educational Plan with desired outcomes clearly acknowledged and agreed upon by all events. We are able to then assess each student's progress and success as they proceed in a formative assessment and never when it is too late to alter course. This could allow us to evaluate replicate an alter individuals' educations, which is our product. We would shift from report cards to IEP meetings. This, although a time-consuming various, may save time for college students over a 12 yr career in school. With successful results meeting times could be less, unless a program of extra rigor is indicated to problem those who need it.
Concerning the history of the Frankfurt Faculty, it is fascinating to note that Franz Neumann, a proponent of the Frankfurt Schule analysed the Nazis in 1942 and came to the conclusion the Nazis wouldn't attempt to exterminate the Jews as the capitalist system requires scapegoats to distract the general public from the 'true' reason behind their poverty. Naturally he was flawed.
After I helped one other family pour the concrete for the upper level of their house and the roof, I helped so they would have shelter. Supplied yearly to … Read More ...


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ADI-EASE | Cloud White
Product DescriptionWith a look that's immediately iconic, these skate shoes provide lightweight, simplified style. A flexible upper and Vulcanized outsole amplify the board feel without sacrificing durability.
- Canvas upper
- Regular fit
- Vulcanized rubber outsole
- EVA sockliner
- Lace closure
- Style code: DB3110
Exchange Policy
Any exchange of goods can only be made within 14 days from the purchase date.
Items on sale promotion and discounted merchandise included coupon code used and launching product are Final Sale and cannot be returned or exchanged. There will be no exchange and/or refund for any limited item after the purchase is made.
Exchange will only be approved upon inspection and permission. Do provide us the receipt of your purchase for our reference. Please note that all the extra charges incurred in an exchange or return (ex.shipping cost, duties and taxes) is the customer's own responsibility. This includes the requirement to pay the additional re-shipping fee. We will exchange items that has returned to us within 7 days from received date and subjected to availability of the stocks.
All returned items must be in unworn condition, with original tags, packaging and with a copy of the receipt. In regards of shoes/sneakers return, it must include the original shoe box in good condition or else it will be rejected upon receiving. CROSSOVER will not accept any returned merchandise without a valid Return Authorization. Customers are recommended to use delivery service with a tracking system.
We do not accept returns or exchange of magazine, books, fragrance, socks or undergarments.
For any merchandise exchange affair, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.com.
Product Details
- Variant: US6 / White
- Product Type: Shoes
- Brand: adidas Originals


text:
Contributor : Ojibwe Class
Tribal Affiliation : Ojibwe
Orgin of Recipe : Me
Type of Dish : Today's Native Dishes
Make your scone/fry bread then put tomato sauce on it. After that: put the venison slices, tomatoes, and bacon on it. Then add your cheese. Put it in the oven at 350F. Let it cool for 5 mins. then enjoy!
Please visit my personal page at Waaban Aki Crafting


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Date: 12/06/03
Latitude: 86.84 degrees South
Longitude: 95.31 degrees East
Wind speed: 15 knots
Wind Chill:−44°C(−47°F)
Wind direction: not given
Elevation: 10,250 feet
Kilometers traveled: 342
Notes on daily life:
By Dan
First thing this morning I showed the core dogs to Lynn and we decided to try and flip the core dogs 180 degrees as this prevented them from swiveling down too far. I dismantled the core dogs and replaced them in the new position; this was a fairly easy task because the metal of the inner core barrel was warm from being inside all night. But even working on warm equipment has its downside; any ice coring equipment that is to come into contact with snow or ice (which is virtually all of it) has to be cooled to well below the freezing point of water (0 degrees C) otherwise the snow will melt onto it, coating it with water, and then re–freeze and jam everything up. I took the warm inner core barrel outside and carefully placed it in the shade away from any snow and ice (the sun is so intense here that it can warm metal to above the freezing point of water).
After about an hour Lynn and I went out to try out the new core dog configuration. The new core dog position worked well in the soft surface snow but did not allow the sharp edge to really bite into the harder ice of the deeper layers. Back to the drawing board!
Meanwhile, Tom was digging a 2 m–deep snow pit so that he could sample the upper surface layers for isotopes at a high resolution. While Tom was doing working in his pit, Lynn and I took the inner core barrel back inside to warm up again. After some careful thought and consideration (plus some consultation with the drill manufacturer via satellite phone) we came to the conclusion that we were going to have to weld or braze a tiny piece of metal to the underside of each ice core dog to limit its travel. Welding is difficult at the best of times, and the smaller the piece of metal you are welding onto the higher the chance of it melting (the core dogs are less than 1 cm by 1 cm by 1 cm in size!). Luckily Lynn is an expert at welding and brazing as well as being a pro mechanic and we soon had bottles of oxygen and acetylene hooked up and ready to go. We prepared each core dog and after some micro–surgery with the welder and file were ready to try the drill again. I took the inner barrel outside to cool down again and prepared the rest of the drill for another test run. After dinner, when the inner barrel had cooled enough, Lynn and I set about test drilling for the third time. This time drilling was a complete success and the core dogs did not drop a single piece of core, although we did get quite a few hangers–on in the soft upper layers (a hanger–on is a piece of core that slips past the core dogs a little way before they bite and ends up protruding out of the end of the barrel). We drilled down several meters to be sure that everything was working perfectly and when we were satisfied I recruited Tom back onto the drill team ready to begin drilling the chemistry core (by now it was 22:00). Unfortunately, there are several science projects relying on the success of this traverse and as a result we are on a tight schedule. Matt wanted to be underway by noon the following day so Tom and I prepared ourselves to drill through the night. We donned our Tyvek suits, masks, and plastic gloves and began to section the top 2.5 m into 2 cm slices. We put each 2 cm chunk into its own bag and then seal and label it (we do this because the soft upper layers would never survive the journey back to the states without crumbling apart), it is a long and laborious process and you get very cold because there is not much movement or activity involved. We had to retreat inside to the warmth of the kitchen module several times during the sectioning process.
To be continued.
Date: 12/07/03
Latitude: 86.21 degrees South
Longitude: 95.75 degrees East
Wind speed: 10 knots
Wind Chill:−39°C(−38°F)
Wind direction: not given
Elevation: 10,440 feet
Kilometers traveled: 413
Notes on daily life:
By Dan
At 3:00 am we had finished the sectioning and were ready to drill in earnest. By about 6:30 am we had reached approximately 10 m depth and then we had a surprise visit. Lynn had woken up and come out to help. Tom and I were very grateful for Lynn's help because the whole drilling process goes twice as fast with three people and we were fast running out of drilling time. By the time noon came around we had reached 18 m depth, I had a word with Matt and he agreed to let us drill for another hour. At 13:00 we finished up and started packing away the drill rig ready for travel. We had drilled a grand total of 21 m, it was not quite as much as the planned total of 30 m but I think that under the circumstances we did very well. I must thank Lynn for his astounding welding and brazing skills and Tom for braving the cold wind and working throughout the night with me.
By 15:00 we had all the sleds strapped down and ready to travel. As we started to move I fell into my bunk and slept until midnight (I slept through dinner which wasn't surprising considering that I had only about 4 hours sleep during the last 57 hours). When I woke up I found out that we had traveled 71 km during the last two driving shifts and hadn't gotten stuck once. This is a new LGT record! I got dressed up in my warm clothes, went out to collect some surface snow samples, took some photos, and then went back to bed.


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Buddy Henson, Panther Builder SN017, received his Special Airworthiness Certificate from the FAA today for his Panther LS. Buddy is a local resident of Haller Airpark in Green Cove Springs, FL. His Panther is the LS model with a Lycoming O-320 and a 3 blade Cato prop. Maiden flight is TBD.
Congratulations Buddy! Thanks for all of your hard work and patience!


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Is that a Red Devil or a Midas Cichlid? In this case, it's a Red Devil.
Although both of these fish differ very little in their own looks you will find definite morphometric differences. Additionally, they come from various regions of Central America.
This fish is called the Red Devil for an excellent reason. It's known for quite competitive behavior and their teeth also back the name up. Their enormous teeth and powerful jaws show that this really is a voracious predator that has to be honored. Even though they may be kept in aquariums as little as 55 gallons, even larger aquariums can decrease their aggressiveness. They've been proven to live together with other fish when growing up, however, as an adult, these fish will generally not bear any other fish dwelling in its own aquarium, particularly when this fish is just another Red Devil. If you're thinking about housing this fish in a community tank, you'll have to keep them as a mated pair or in a really large aquarium.
These fish are fairly simple to look after for as long as water conditions will be maintained up with frequent water changes. They value a foundation of fine sand and a lot of hiding places among rocks and timber. They're avid diggers and plants do not fare and they'll be eaten, shredded or uprooted. Make certain stones are nicely bedded on the authentic glass underside of the cylinder to avoid toppling. Make sure you leave an open place in the middle for swimming. Great water quality and quite a big tank are necessary for their optimum health.
Things to remember when it comes to Red Devils:
- Max Size – inches: 15.0 inches (38.10 cm)
- Minimum Aquarium Size: 55 gal (208 L)
- Temperament: Large and extremely aggressive – Even predatory, Red Devils are great hunters. If you ever feed your fish live food you'll see them slyly creep up on their prey taking them out before the prey even knows what happens.
Aquarium Supplies you'll need to house a Red Devil if you're starting from scratch
At least a 55-gallon aquarium
Lots of food as Red Devils like to eat a lot.
Good filtration, these guys are messy eaters.


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General Mills flew the white flag of surrender alongside a GMO label, as the company announced Friday it would place labels on its products containing genetically modified organisms (GMOs).
This makes General Mills the second major food company this year to acquiesce to GMO labels and comes after the Senate failed on Wednesday to strike a compromise and override individual state laws. In January, Campbell's Soup announced a decision to break from the food industry line and support labels, saying that although they believe GMOs are safe, the patchy labeling requirements will confuse grocery shoppers.
"Although we believe that consumers have the right to know what's in their food, we also believe that a state-by-state piecemeal approach is incomplete, impractical and costly to implement for food makers," Campbell's Soup wrote at the time. "More importantly, it's confusing to consumers."
Statements by both companies reveal frustration with the federal government's inability to resolve the issue, which has taken on new urgency because Vermont's law requiring GMO labels takes effect in July. Food companies spent $100 million lobbying against mandatory labels last year, but with Wednesday's failure in the Senate, General Mills apparently decided the battle was lost.
The food companies' position on GMOs is backed by the American Medical Association, almost 90 percent of scientists from the American Association for the Advancement of Science, the US Food and Drug Association, and a host of other organizations, but the public has remained suspicious of GMOs for over a decade.
In 2003, in the midst of a push to support GMO foods by the Bush administration, 37 percent of Americans said genetically altering foods was a good thing, Pew Research Center found. By 2015, when the US House of Representatives passed a bill nixing GMO labeling requirements by the states, only 37 percent of US adults called the foods "generally safe" while 57 percent called them "unsafe," and half check their groceries for GMO labels at least sometimes.
The conclusion? A majority of Americans want GMO labels – 66 percent want required labels with only 7 percent opposed, according to a January 2015 Associated Press/GfK poll. Companies such as Campbell's Soup and General Mills say if the public wants them, they can have them. They have not let Congress off the hook, however, because states can still enact different labeling requirements that will be expensive.
"We can't label our products for only one state without significantly driving up costs for our consumers," wrote General Mills CEO Jeff Harmening in a blog post. "With the Vermont labeling legislation upon us, and with the distinct possibility that other states will enact different labeling requirements, what we need is simple: We need a national solution."
The Grocery Manufacturers Association followed the General Mills announcement with disapproval of the federal government's inaction.
"One small state's law is setting labeling standards for consumers across the country," the trade organization for food and drink companies said in a statement. "Food companies are being forced to make decisions on how to comply and having to spend millions of dollars."


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New Chapter 45 Designation: Matt Hozza, CPM®
Matt Hozza, CPM®, Portfolio Manager, Kleinman Realty Co.
Matt Hozza was born and raised in Saint Paul, and still resides there in the Highland Park neighborhood with his wife Julie, daughter Madeline (20 months), and dog Rambler. He is a graduate of the University of St. Thomas where he studied Business Administration and Entrepreneurship. Matt was the recipient of the "Student Entrepreneur of the Year" scholarship award his senior year.
Matt's early career was spent in the financial and banking industries. He spent several years as a Financial Analyst with NorthMarq Capital where he became versed in multi-family financial analysis and commercial banking.
Matt currently owns two multi-family properties on Grand Ave in Saint Paul. Matt started with Kleinman Realty Co as a part time Resident Manager in 2010. He was hired on full time in 2012 as an Assistant Portfolio Manager and became a Portfolio Manager in 2013. Matt has run six marathons as well as donated over 35 pints of blood to the American Red Cross in his lifetime.
Quote: "Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness."


text:
He said these words to her as though she should be proud of them. As though they should give her comfort in his affairs, and treatment of her in their marriage. As some sort of championship feat, unmatched by his extramarital affair lovers. She was silent and tears rolled down her face. This was the final straw. She knew it was over. It was more than past time to walk away. She felt something she hadn't felt before since she first found out about her husbands affairs. Utter humiliation, entangled with anger. Not toward Jason, but herself for allowing the situation to escalate to this level of disrespect. He opened his eyes and looked at her because he could feel her tears hit his chest. She stood and went into the bathroom to clean herself up. But instead, fell to her knees in front of the shower and burst into tears. She couldn't control her emotions. She usually held her tears until she was alone. Which wasn't often, as her son Jared spent almost every waking moment with her because she didn't trust what he would say if she weren't there to buffer his conversation with others. And, from the first few weeks following her finding out about the affairs after Jared mentioned that he hears her crying often, even when alone she'd stopped showing emotion. But like a time bomb they exploded, and she cried out in a crumpled heap on the bathroom floor. He closed his eyes, sighed and whispered to himself, "Ugh, Jason, what's wrong with you. That was insensitive, even for you. That was too much. Go get her. Hold her in your arms and comfort her. You have to fix this, Jason. That was too over the top." He got out of bed, went into the bathroom, he knelt beside her, and pulled her into his arms, "Trina. Come here, baby. Come here. I got you…I got you, baby." He kissed the top of her head, "Shhhhh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. That was cruel. I'm sorry, Trina. I'm sorry…okay, baby." She wept, but allowed him to hold her. As crazy as it may seem. She really needed to cry in his arms and was angry with herself that she wanted to be there. Because that fact, to her at least, showed just how much control he had over her. She desperately tried to no avail to control her tears. Her body shook as she began to rock back and forth and cried out almost to the point of screaming. All the hurt she'd felt over the last six or seven months came exploding out of her. She had never fully allowed herself to weep. Between being with Jared most of the day and Jason at night, she'd learned to suppress her emotions about the affairs. Her pain filled the room, and the air became thick and stifling. Jason now understood the magnitude of how much pain and suffering he'd caused his wife to endure. For the first time he felt remorse, and her tears tormented him. "Come on, Trina. I need you to stop crying, okay." She continued to weep. There was no stopping her. "Okay, come on baby, please stop. I said I was sorry, okay. Come on Trina stop crying baby. Ugh…baby, I promise I won't talk like that when we're in bed together anymore. I won't talk about them when I'm with you, okay. Come on, baby…stop crying." She could feel his body stiffen, but she couldn't stop crying. Every fiber of her being hurt and every level of pain inside of her. She was overwhelmed by what she had endured in her marriage. She felt like she had a ten-pound hair ball in her stomach, and began to cramp. She was battling to keep her sanity, and her emotions were being extracted from her body. The almost unbearable pain in her stomach ached as though she were being pushed through a meat grinder, with the butcher just out of her reach with no way to stop him from turning the crank handle. She had never felt so much pain. She could feel the blood being forced through her veins and arteries at a rushing speed and she feared she would lose consciousness at any moment. How can emotional hurt bring this type of force, she wondered?
Trina and Jason Morris
~The Opportunity for Temptation~
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text:
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Category Archives: katharine
Photos from the weekend: Gimme s'more of that Dia De Los Muertos Flashmob
Photos from the weekend: Made with PUMPEDkin Spice
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Filed under boltbus, cake, isis, katharine, katharine'sfeet, pacmanbeer, swedishfish, whaleshapedchickentender
House Sarah
It was Casey who came up with the term "House Sarah," but she's existed all my life.
It was our junior year of college and I was out at a nice birthday party with some of my girlfriends. I wore a really pretty red dress from Express and nice shoes because it was a fancy event. Later in the night Casey called me and said he and Katharine were at a party and wanted me to meet them. When I arrived, Casey introduced me to some potential hook up for him named Brian. The four of us spent the rest of the night hanging out in the pantry of this party stealing oreos and sipping PBRs. I enjoyed Brian and I hoped Casey would bring him around again.
A few days later, Daria and I had friends over to watch Bravo. Casey arrived with Brian and went around the room introducing him to everyone he didn't know. I said hello to him, and Brian cocked his head at Casey in confusion, waiting for him to introduce me. Casey immediately said, "Oh, yeah, you remember Sarah, you met on Saturday. You just don't recognize her because she's 'House Sarah' right now."
I looked down at my outfit; black track sweats with red, green and yellow stripes down the side, a size XXL Rosebowl 2005 t-shirt, a large grey Columbia fleece (they were out of mediums but it was on sale) and bright blue Puma running shoes (not the casual ones in cool colors, the ones that you find at the Swapmeet that look like the might light up when you take a step).
I hardly call those my house clothes, those were my gym clothes. And even though I never made it to the gym that day (it was really, really cold out), it's not like I walk around the house like that. Around the house I wouldn't even think of wearing a bra with such an ensemble. It's my house.
To top it all off, my hair was gathered into a really messy bun – not a fashionably messy bun – on top of my head. I wear it like that because I can never seem to find something – within comfortable reaching distance – to pin my bangs back.
People make fun of 'House Sarah' all the time, but I never stop bringing her out, because I genuinely look in the mirror and assume that what looks like a crow's nest on top of my head is a flattering hairstyle for me. I think it accentuates my cheekbones, even though no one has ever, ever complimented anything about any of my bones, or really anything on my face. In fact, every time I put my hair the way I like it, people I'm not even close with tell me I look like shit. When I was with my family at the beach this summer my 10-year-old cousin Dylan said, "Yew luhk lahk a Chi-neeze persuhn." He's from Texas. And very culturally aware.
A few weeks ago I met a boy that I might be interested in. We kept running into each other around town until finally, he invited me to see his band play. Being a girl and genetically unable to resist boys in bands, I had to go. As I was getting ready, I made an effort to look nice. I admired that I was having a good eyelash day so I skipped on the eye makeup. I moisturized and applied my signature lipgloss (Vaseline). But, I really, really, did NOT want to wash my hair. The thought of it being wet and then having to brush it really annoyed me. I HATE hair. It's just dead soft stuff. So I put it up.
I got to the show and it was a lot of fun. As the band was playing I saw a mutual friend of me and said boy so I went over to say hi. He looked at me as if I had just asked him a question in Spanish; like he really wanted to understand, and was reaching deep down in his ninth grade Espanol class memory, but could only smile and nod. In embarrassment I explained who I was, and he said, "Oh, wow, hi I didn't recognize you."
Sure enough, when the show was over, I approached my love interest only to be given that same language barrier expression. He gave a cocked head look to our mutual friend, very similar to the one Brian had given Casey years earlier. He didn't recognize me either. I ran to the bathroom to see if my skin had changed color. When I looked in the mirror I noticed that the ballet dancer bun I had crafted in my apartment ten windy blocks away had turned into the nasty, underneath-a-turban nest-like mass that I wear only in the privacy of my own home. I had showed up to a date as "House Sarah."
I don't care when people see House Sarah, but I'd actually made an effort that night (When I said moisturizer I actually meant sunscreen because I was out, but I think it still has the same effect). I was embarrassed that this identity crisis had happened, but had this boy started to date me it wouldn't have taken long for him to discover what I really am. You don't have to go deep into my apartment before discovering all the bottles of baby powder that I use to soak up oil in my hair.
My body image issue is that I really think I look better when others think I look like a train wreck. That has to be better than the other way around, right? Maybe I'm just waiting for everyone to catch on and realize my oversized, neon green Lady GaGa t-shirt (that I got for free) is actually a lovely silhouette for my body type.
I can't wait for grunge to come back in style.
Filed under boysinbands, brazilpants, casey, katharine, ladygaga, messy bun