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I wrote this post while participating in a campaign by Tomoson and received a gift and or payment to thank me for my time. All views and opinions with regard to the products or company itself are my own and were not influenced nor reviewed by the company prior to posting. I am disclosing this according to the FTC guidelines.
In keeping with the spirit of rejuvenation this week I decided to do a review of a new kind of soap. I am branching out in my blog and have decided that since this stay at home mom is not very good at crafts or gardening I am going to give you some beauty and fashion tips for moms. Hopefully you like this idea.
So I have been signing up and getting many new samples of fashion things and beauty items lately. We have had fun testing them and it is something that I have always had an interest in. I have very dry, sensitive skin, yet I also have mild acne which is a horrible combination to try to find the right product for. I have a few favorites but nothing that I am not willing to swap for something that works even better so I am always open to new options.
With Summer just around the corner I wanted to make sure my skin is in good shape. I do not tan, nor do I spray tan. I am proud to show my fair skin and quite frankly I have no idea why people feel the need to tan. Therefore, my fair skin still needs to look hydrated and cared for better than I usually get to do. So I was searching for a soap to help with moisture and to really rid the skin of dead cells. I decided to try the Adovia Natural Dead Sea Mud Soap it has received many good reviews on Amazon and it is said to be great for Eczema, Psoriasis and acne. On it's website it claims to remove dirt and cleanse your skin, while simultaneously infusing it with minerals essential to keeping your skin hydrated and moisturized. It is enriched with century old Dead Sea Mud leaving your skin cleansed and nourished. It contains a unique combination of Dead Sea minerals derived from Dead Sea Mud 100% All Natural Moisturizing soap.
After using the soap for a little over two weeks now I have to say that I am very disappointed in it. It does seem to relieve some dead skin, but to be honest it irritated my sensitive, dry skin. It makes me much more irritated and itchy and unless I bathe myself in lotion after using this soap it really is not worth it. The soap was so bad I could not even use it on my face without it being red.
I thought my reaction to this soap was perhaps just because of my skin so I had my husband try and use the soap as well. He has oily to normal skin. He said he did not mind it but did not notice any difference in it. He did appreciate that it did NOT have a fragrance so for once he was not bathed in something too flowery, but he did not notice a difference in his skin.
Quite frankly for the $11.00 they charge you for this soap is extremely expensive considering all the better soap options you can get for the same price.
Next Generation Stay At Home Mom gives Adovia Natural Dead Sea Mud Soap 1 Star
Don't give up hope on rejuvenation though, just go back out to the store and try a different soap to help detox and cleanse yourself so you can fully rejuvenate.
If you would like to check out Adovia Natural Dead Sea Mud Soap for yourself you can buy it
on Amazon here for $11.00 (for a 4.4oz bar) and right now they are offering free shipping!
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HUNTSVILLE, Ala. (WHNT) - Businesses come and go in north Alabama, and when they go, they often leave empty buildings behind.
One store front in particular has been empty since 2008.
A WHNT News 19 viewer asked "What is going in to the old Barnes and Noble spot?" The person was referring to the building next to Best Buy on University Drive in Huntsville.
Our news partner The Huntsville Times says that space is going to be the home to a new HomeGoods store. HomeGoods specializes in high-end home fashions at discounted prices.
Renovations are already underway in the space, but there is no word on when HomeGoods will open for business.

subset: commoncrawl


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A Viking Vision Quest
My Personal Odin Rituals
I will now share with you three of my favorite ODIN Rituals. I practiced these when I was living in Arizona years ago and I still do them occasionally. By using them over the years I have made a real solid contact with ODIN and I don't need them to contact him anymore.
These are what I call New Rituals. You won't find them in any of the modern day viking books. They are not rote memorization or stale dogmatic murmurings that you hear around the camp fires of Viking kindred outings. These are not 10th century outdated rituals.
They are unique Odin Rituals because I CREATED THEM. Not Stephen McNallern's Rituals of Asatru which in my opinion are out of date and useless. Nor any other of the out of date Asatru rituals.
They are telling you that you need to cling to a godi or a self appointed leader to tell you how to contact ODIN and the gods/goddesses of the north.
I will tell you how to contact them without a godi or middle man.
I may sound harsh but this is the 21st century and we must bring Odin and the gods and goddesses of our ancestors into the 21st century, if we are to have a chance for our ancestral soul and culture to survive.
We must think out of the box, about our relationship with ODIN.
These modern day thoughts of mine about Odin and godi's have made me an outcast, among the existing kindreds who are still practicing 10th century rituals.
Ever notice the similarity between them and the Christian Church which is still practicing their 2000 thousand year dogma although the walls are falling down on them.
I don't want the walls to fall down on ODIN or our Viking Culture.
I promised you that when you came to my website you would find writings that are not anywhere else.
I want and have built a one-on-one relationship with Odin, the All Father. There are no self appointed godi's or priests or intermediaries between Odin and I.
This powerful bond with Odin has led me to write three books about and with him.
When I lived in Payson Arizona and I was a member of the Arizona Asatru Alliance (before I was outcast) I enjoyed going into the woods alone.
One day I was in a very strange mood, as if something very powerful was about to happen. I felt there was something very important I had to do.
I parked my truck on the side of the road and walked into the forest for about 100 yards. I always picked a different part of the forest to explore.
There it was! What I was looking for. A copse or nine oak trees in a circle. There was an opening in the middle of the oak trees. The opening was about 25 feet in diameter.
I stepped inside of the circle of oak trees and dropped my knapsack and sat down.
Then it came to me. What I should do.
I stood up and took off my jacket and took out the bag of trail mix I had inside of my knapsack.
I opened it up and took out a handful of nuts and raisins.
I faced North and murmured an Odin thank you and tossed the trail mix in that direction.
Then, clockwise, east, south and west with the same tossing of trail mix and Odin thank you's
When I felt that I had sufficiently made sacrifice and the oak tree circle was tiled, I picked up my gander walking stick. I made this out of a branch off an oak tree that had been struck by lightening. I hand carved all of the runes on it. It was very stout and a good five foot long..
Remember what Odin told us about not getting very far from your weapon. We cannot carry around guns or axes, but a good stout gander walking stick will work just fine if a Loki type showed up.
I walked to the oak tree in the North of the circle. I stopped for a moment, thought of what to do, then touched the oak tree with my gander and said Odin guide me out loud.
I continued clockwise to the next oak tree, touched it with my gander and said out loud. Odin heal me.
Then to the third tree, touched it with my gander and said out loud, Odin protect me.
I continued clockwise around the circle of nine oaks trees touching each one with my gander and repeating the Odin invocations in sets of three (one of Odin's favorite numbers.)
When I completed one circuit of the oak trees I said mentally to myself one.
I knew that nine was a sacred number of Odin's. The same number as the oak trees in the circle.
I made the decision to make 90 trips around the oak trees because it was a multiple of nine.
I remember keeping track in my mind and adding one every time I completed a circle of the oak trees. I also remember walking faster and faster around the circle of nine oaks.
When I finally reached ninety trips I was in such a heightened state of awareness that I felt that my feet were not touching the ground.
I decided to continue and go for the next multiple of 900 trips around the oak trees.
I kept circling and circling faster and faster. I now was only saying Odin. Odin, Odin, Odin, Odin, Odin, Odin, Odin, Odin.
I don't really know how many times I circled the sacred oak trees for the next thing that I remember I was lying on the ground in the center of the circle of oaks.
I sat up and looked around. It was deathly still and quiet.
All of a sudden a great wind came out of the north and shook the oak trees furiously. It lasted only a few seconds, but s few powerful seconds.
I knew that Odin had heard me, for is Odin not also the God of the winds?
Suddenly two ravens, came squawking and circling about 100 feet above the oaks in the center where I could see and hear them.
They squawked and circled as if they were talking to me.
They circled one more time, squawked and headed north.
I sat there for some time wondering what it was that Odin was trying to tell me through his two ravens.
Several days later I got my answer.
I wrote my first book about Odin, called "Odin's Return." I wrote the whole thing at one sitting, so quickly as if it were being told to me.
That is the kind of ritual I want you to learn how to do. Leave Stephens books alone, I believe they are dead and outdated.
Do your own thing!
When the Native Americans go into the woods for a ritual or a Vision Quest, they go alone. It is just them and the great spirit. They don't go with a crowd, beer and dead words out of a book.
Native Americans are not the only ones who know how to go on a vision quest. Our ancestors did and so have I.
Contact them and Odin when alone and see the amazing results.
While I was still in Payson I went to my sacred space several times and repeated my Odin Oak Tree Ritual.
All had wonderful results.
That's the kind of rituals we need for the 21st century. Throw the ritual books away and become spontaneous
Vikings come into the 21st century. Update your rituals.
Ellis Peterson AKA Ragnar Storyteller is a retired math professor and electronics engineer. He has been studying astrology, runes, metaphysics and alternate healing treatments for over 30 years. He is 70+, in very good health and lives in the boonies of the Pocono mountains with his wifr Lory. His writings are unique and refreshing.
To see more of his writings visit his websites.
and http://www.runes-for-health-wealth-love-now.com
You can contact him at email@example.com


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An internet resource developed by
Christopher D. Green
York University, Toronto, Ontario
(Return to index)
By William H.R. Rivers (1920)
Posted May 2000
Discussions concerning the causation of the war-neuroses usually deal with two main topics. Either they consider the predisposition to nervous disorder of those who have broken down under the shocks and strains of warfare, or they are concerned with the relative shares taken by physical and mental factors as the immediate antecedents of these failures. In connection with the first topic, various writers have discussed the part taken by congenital or acquired tendencies to nervous or mental instability as shown either by family history or by the occurrence of nervous troubles before joining the army. Under the second heading have been considered especially the part taken by exhaustion, concussion or emotional shock as the immediate precursors of a nervous or mental collapse, or by conditions of strain and anxiety which have lowered the resistance of the soldier to the shock or illness which was the immediate antecedent of his failure.
These two topics do not exhaust the causes of war-neurosis. Between the time that a man joins the army and that at which he breaks down, he passes through a special experience, very different from that of any form of civilian life. He is first subjected to a special training, and when this training has reached a certain degree of perfection he meets another set of experiences, perhaps even more remote from those of civil life, in which he has to perform the military duties he has learned during his training.
Two separate problems must be distinguished: one, the relation of military training and the nature of military duties to [p. 206] the occurrence of neurosis; the other, the part taken by these factors in determining the special form which the neurosis takes. There is little question that one of the chief causes of the great prevalence of nervous disorders in the war is that vast numbers of men have been called upon to endure hardships and dangers of unprecedented severity with a quite insufficient training. There is equally little doubt that the special nature of the duties involved in trench warfare has taken a large part in determining the great frequency of neurosis.
It is not, however, the purpose of this report to deal with the problem of the part taken by military training and military duties in the causation of neurosis in general. Its aim is to deal only with the second of the two problems stated above. For this purpose it is necessary to consider briefly the varieties of war-neurosis, the main headings under which the almost infinite variety of its symptoms can be classified.
Excluding from the category of neurosis cases of simple exhaustion or concussion and disorders of circulation or digestion due to infection, and excluding also definite psychoses, cases of war-neurosis fall into three main groups, though intermediate and mixed examples are of frequent occurrence. The first group comprises cases in which the disorder finds expression in some definite physical form, such as paralysis, mutism, contracture, blindness, deafness, or other anæsthesia. The characteristic common to all these symptoms is that they are such as can be readily produced in hypnotism or other state in which suggestion is especially potent. I propose later to consider how far the considerations to be brought forward in this report help us towards a satisfactory nomenclature. In the meantime I shall be content to speak of this group as hysteria, the term by which it was generally known before the war and one which, in spite of its unsatisfactory character, is still widely used.
The second group consists of cases in which the disorder shows itself especially in lack of physical and mental energy, in disorders of sleep and of the circulatory, digestive, and urogenital systems. On the mental side there is usually depression, restlessness, [p. 207] irritability and enfeeblement of memory, and on the physical side tremors, ties, or disorders of speech. This group is usually known as neurasthenia in this country, but in this case I shall anticipate the results of my later discussion and speak of it by the term anxiety-neurosis.
The third group, with which I shall have little to do in this report, is characterised by the definitely psychical form of its manifestations. This group comprises a number of different varieties. In some cases the most obvious symptom is mental instability and restlessness with alternations of depression and excitement or exaltation, similar to those of manic-depressive insanity. In other cases there are morbid impulses of various kinds, including those towards suicide or homicide. In some the chief symptoms are obsessions or phobias, while others suffer from hallucinations or delusions. The special feature of all these cases is that the symptoms resemble in kind those of the definite psychoses, but have neither the severity nor the fixity which makes the seclusion of the patient or any legal restriction in the management of his affairs necessary.
There is no evidence that the psycho-neuroses of the third group are especially liable to affect either officers or men, but the other two groups show a remarkable difference in this respect which I propose to take as my guide in the treatment of the subject. The group which I have provisionally labelled hysteria is especially apt to affect the private soldier, Pure cases of this kind are rare among officers who, as a rule, only suffer from this form of disorder as complications of states of anxiety, or when there is some definite, physical injury to act as a continuous source of suggestion. Anxiety-neurosis is not similarly limited to officers, but affects them more frequently, and usually more profoundly, than the private soldier.
I propose to take this difference in the incidence of the two chief forms of neurosis as a clue to the better understanding of the nature of these states. I hope to show that this difference can be largely explained by differences in the character and effects of military training and -military duties. For this purpose it will be necessary first to state the general theory of the [p. 208] neuroses of warfare upon which my treatment of the subject will he based. This theory is that the neuroses of war depend upon a conflict between the instinct of self-preservation and certain social standards of thought mid conduct, according to which fear and its expression are regarded as reprehensible. From infancy the influence of parents and teachers is directed to bring about the repression of any manifestation of fear, and since the ordinary life of the modern civilised adult rarely presents any features which come into conflict with the instinct of self-preservation, this repression meets with little opposition and rarely produces any serious conflict. The child has many experiences which tend to call forth the emotion of fear in its cruder forms, but once adult age is reached, occasions which tend to produce fear rarely occur, and there is little in the ordinary life of the modern civilised man which tends to set up any conflict between the instinct of self-preservation and acquired social standards.
The business of the soldier, on the other hand, is one which necessarily brings its follower into the presence of danger, and as we shall see, one of the chief objects of military-training is to fit the soldier to meet the special assaults upon the instinct of self-preservation to which his calling will expose him. In one of the two chief forms of war-neurosis the conflict is solved by the occurrence of some disability-paralysis, contracture, mutism or anæsesthesia -- which, so long as it exists, incapacitates the patient from further participation in warfare and thus removes all immediate necessity for conflict between instinct and duty. Anxiety-neurosis, on the other hand, is a state or process in which the conflict has not been solved but is unduly active, the controlling social factors having been weakened by exhaustion, illness, strain or shock, so that the motives arising out of the instinct of self-preservation have gained in power, while in many cases the social factors have produced new conflicts and causes of anxiety which may be as potent as the primary conflict with the instinct of self-preservation.
The object of this report is to consider the part taken in this conflict by the processes of military training and military [p. 209] duties, but before considering this, it will be well to inquire whether the life of officer and man before the war provides any reason why the two should be affected in different ways by the strains and shocks of warfare.
One possible cause may be found in difference of general education. On the whole the officer is more widely educated than the private soldier; his mental life is more complex and varied, and he is therefore less likely to be content with the crude solution d the conflict between instinct and duty which is provided by such disabilities as dumbness or the helplessness of a limb. The histories of officers suffering from anxiety-neurosis often show the existence of temporary mutism, paralysis or other functional disability in the early stages of their illness, but these solutions of their conflict do not satisfy them and their disabilities speedily disappear, to be replaced sooner or later by symptoms directly dependent on anxiety.
Another possible cause is to be found in the quality of the education, and especially the school education of officer and man. Fear and its expression are especially abhorrent to the moral standards of the public schools at which the majority of officers have been educated. The games and contests which make up so large a part of the school curriculum are all directed to enable the boy to meet without manifestation of fear any occasion likely to call forth that emotion. The public school boy enters the army with along course of training behind him which enables him successfully to repress, not only expressions of fear, but also the emotion itself. A similar schooling forms part of the education of the primary schools whence the majority of private soldiers have come, but it has been less extensive and less systematic than in the public boarding schools, though it is probable that the popularity of certain games has done much to lessen the difference in recent years.
If the behaviour of the officer and private soldier after they have become the victims of neurosis is any guide to their standards before the war, the private soldier has far fewer scruples about giving expression to his fears, this expression being both more explicit and less subject to repression. [p. 210]
These differences must only be taken in the rough and as applicable on a large scale, but there is little doubt that the average private enters upon his military training with less aversion from the expression of fear than the average officer, and that his simpler mental training makes him more easily content than the officer with the crude solution of the conflict between instinctive and acquired motives which is provided by some bodily disability.
The liability of officers and men to different forms of war-neurosis is thus partly capable of explanation by differences in the conditions to which they have been exposed before the war. It is the object of this report to show that these or any other conditions[2] existing before the soldier joins the army are greatly assisted by differences in the nature of the training of officers and men and of the duties which fall to their lot. I will begin by considering the general aims and character of military training. Its two chief aims are to fit each individual soldier to ad in harmony with his fellows, and to enable him to withstand the stresses and trials of warfare. Military training is designed to enable the soldier to act calmly and methodically in situations which would naturally tend to upset the balance of his conduct and in the face of dangers which would arouse the instinct of self-preservation. Its aim is to free the soldier, not merely from the danger of succumbing to the collapse of terror or the blind flight of panic, but also from those minor disturbances of efficiency which are due to apprehensions or to doubts concerning the issue of a combat. The ideal military training should bring the soldier into such a state that even the utmost horrors and rigours of warfare are hardly noticed, so inured is he to their presence and so absorbed in the immediate task presented by his military duties.
In carrying out the two chief aims of military training certain definite agencies are called into play. In fulfilling the first aim of adapting the soldier to act as one of an aggregate in complete harmony with its other members, one agency is habituation. [p. 211] The elementary drill of a soldier consists of processes in which this agency plays a most important part. The soldier is thoroughly drilled in certain relatively simple evolutions until he has acquired the habit of immediate and unreflecting response to a command by means of which his reactions correspond with those of all the other members of the aggregate; all act together as if there were one mind in common to the whole. The individual soldier has to sink his individuality in order to act without hesitation or reflection as one of a section, platoon, company, battalion, or still larger group. The requirements of modern warfare are leading to some modification of this mechanical aspect of military training, but such modification only begins after the soldier has been subjected to a prolonged course of drill designed to adapt him to act as one of an aggregate.
An agency working with habituation, and one far more important from our present point of view, is suggestion.[3] The process by which an individual comes to act promptly and harmoniously as one of an aggregate is simply one variety of the process by which individuals come to act as members of social aggregates in general. A person who is being drilled is taken from our highly individualistic community, in which spontaneity and independence are encouraged, and is subjected to a course of training calculated to produce a state allied to that of existing communistic peoples or of animals which are accustomed to act in herds: One result of such a training, if it be not indeed also its chief aim, is to enhance the responsiveness of each individual to the influence of his fellows, and the form which is taken by military training is especially designed to enhance his responsiveness to those who are immediately above him in the military hierarchy. From one point of view the most successful training is one which attains such perfection of this responsiveness that each individual soldier not merely reacts at once to the expressed command of his superior, but is able to divine the nature of a command before it is given and [p. 212] acts as a member of the group immediately and correctly, even when the conditions of warfare might produce uncertainty if he relied entirely on the actual words or definite gestures of command. The process by which a capacity for such immediate response comes into being resembles very closely, if it be not actually identical with, the process we call suggestion. In the hypnotic state, in which the power and efficacy of suggestion reach their acme, the individual responds immediately and without question or hesitation, not merely to the command of his hypnotiser, but even to a desire or impulse of the hypnotiser's mind which is not expressed by speech or obvious gesture. The resemblance between the two states is so close that there is little doubt that one result of military training, and especially that of the more elementary forms of drill, is to enhance the suggestibility of those who are subjected to the process. It produces a modification of character which makes the soldier more immediately responsive to suggestion, whether this emanate from an individual officer or from the general body of the group, whether platoon, working-party, company or other body which forms the aggregate of which he is a member at the moment.
This enhanced responsiveness is well exemplified in certain well-known incidents occurring in the army which has carried the more mechanical aspects of military training to an extreme length.[4] The success of the Captain of Koepenick could only be possible in an army whose members had through a special course of training reached such a pitch of responsiveness to the commands of one in uniform that they obeyed without question the ludicrous orders of a cobbler.
The other aim of military training, which especially touches the liability to different forms of neurosis, is to fit the soldier to withstand the trials and stresses of warfare. One of the chief instruments by which this aim is met is that already considered, [p. 213] which makes the individual soldier act as a member of the aggregate to which be belongs in a closer sense than holds good in civil life. This does away with or diminishes greatly the tendency of any one individual in the group to react to fear or other emotional state in a way which would interfere with his military competence. In carrying out the aim of adapting the individual soldier to withstand the dangers of warfare, the first instrument is identical with that by which his actions come to be performed with the requisite immediacy and harmony. I have now to consider the other processes by which the soldier collectively is assisted to withstand the stresses of warfare. These processes bring into action two chief agencies, repression and sublimation.
In considering the process of repression in its relation to military training, two varieties must be distinguished. In the first variety an attempt is made to thrust some part of the mental content, some feeling, thought, memory or sentiment, from consciousness. In the second variety the effort is directed rather to the repression of the outward expression of some mental state, especially of feeling or emotion. There is no hard and fast line between these two forms. One who endeavours to control the expression of an emotion will also try to banish from his mind thoughts or memories likely to call the emotion forth. Since, however, it is the expression of an emotion which is appreciated by others, the repression of the outward manifestation bulks more largely in the process in so far as it is a feature of military training. There are probably great individual differences in the way in which different persons treat the conscious elements of the mental content in their efforts to subdue their outward expression. As I have pointed out elsewhere,[5] repression forms a necessary part of all education and adaptation to social life. Perhaps the most important feature on the repression of military training is the relatively late period of life at which it takes place. The older a person is, the more difficult it becomes for him to give up habitual modes of thought and action. It is where repression is [p. 214] incomplete and is the source of persistent mental conflict that it becomes a factor in the production and maintenance of neurosis. If the repression which forms part of military training is complete, it probably helps greatly towards the success of the repression which will become necessary when the soldier enters upon active service, but if it is incomplete, so that the soldier enters upon active service accompanied by the active conflicts so aroused, his success in the necessary repression of warfare will be prejudiced.
During military training much may be done, especially by means of games, to exercise the repression of fear and its expression, but during this part of his training other kinds of repression are more in evidence. In order to act as one of the aggregate to which he now belongs, the recruit has to repress any tendencies to individual action which would interfere, or are supposed by military tradition to interfere, with efficiency, and failure of these repressions has much to do with the production of war-neurosis. Thus, a frequent factor in the production of war-neurosis is the necessity for the restraint of the expression of sentiments of dislike or disrespect for those of superior rank, and these restraints become particularly trying when-those who are disliked or despised are the instruments by which the many restrictions of military life are imposed or enforced.
When the soldier is brought into contact with actual warfare, a new set of repressions come into action. It may become necessary to control and inhibit the expressions of emotion consequent upon the dangers of warfare. In some persons, especially those already well schooled in such repression, this process seems to take place with no obvious conflict, but in many cases the necessity for such repression is continually present, while in a far larger number this necessity comes into existence as the result of strain, the presence of a conflict in this respect being in many cases the first symptom of his abnormal state that the soldier notices. He may notice that whereas at one time he was hardly aware of shelling or other incident of warfare, he now tends to duck his head or [p. 215] perform some other involuntary movement whenever the noise of a shell is heard, thus betraying the presence of a conflict. A state in which such a tendency persists and requires continual repression is one of the most frequent forms taken by the early stage of war-neurosis.
When the soldier has been in the trenches for some time, a new necessity for repression may arise and may affect those who have not previously found it necessary to repress fears or apprehension, or in whom such repression, in so far as it has been present, has aroused no conflict. The soldier may undergo some particularly trying experience; some disgusting sight, or the death and mutilation of a friend, or other experience may be so painful that it continually intrudes itself upon him while he unavailingly strives to banish it from his mind.
The last agency to be considered is that made up by sublimation and side-tracking. To the soldier these words may be strange, but not so the processes which they denote. By sublimation is meant a process in which an instinctive tendency, more or less fostered by experience, which would normally find expression in some kind of undesirable conduct, has its energy directed into a channel in which it comes to have a positive social value. By side-tracking we mean a process in which the energy so diverted acquires no special social value, but is altogether harmless, or at any rate less harmful to the welfare of the individual and community than that expression in which the energy would otherwise find its outlet.
One of the simplest and most frequent forms of side-tracking is the oath. The "strange oaths" or other forms of lurid language of the soldier are nothing but the relatively innocent means by which an outlet is given to superfluous energy. The form of energy which is perhaps most frequently thus released is that arising out of the repressions which form part of military training. Another form of side-tracking is to be found in the conviviality and relative freedom from restraint in certain directions which form so frequent an accompaniment to the life of the soldier.
One of the chief means of diverting spare energy, however [p. 216] this may be produced, takes the form of games and athletic competitions. Since these are of definite military value, they must be regarded as a means of sublimation. These exercises do not merely train the mind and body and thus add to the efficiency of the soldier, but they also have the most important function of utilising spare energy, whether derived from the activity of suppressed complexes or the product of some more healthy process.
A most important instrument of sublimation is to be found in the development of esprit de corps. There is thus produced a body of sentiments which contribute greatly to military efficiency, while at the same time they provide a most valuable means of sublimating energy which might otherwise work in the opposite direction.
In the old army the chief vehicle of esprit de corps was the regiment. The regular British soldier of the days before the war was above everything a member of the regiment. The honour and welfare of his regiment formed one of his chief interests, and the desire that he might do nothing to tarnish this honour or prejudice this welfare stood forth prominently among the means which enabled him to withstand trials and dangers.
This esprit de corps of the old army was chiefly bound up with the institution of "long service." A soldier spent years, including the most impressionable of his life, in one regiment, with the other members of which he came to have relations of comradeship which were even more. efficacious as a protective against fear or other emotion than motives arising out of the more abstract sentiments of honour and duty.
These features of the process of military sublimation have been much changed in the more recent history of the British army, especially during the war, but these changes have only modified the process and have not changed its essential character. They have affected the nature of the unit with which the esprit de corps is associated, the spirit embodied in the regiment or the company being now attached to the battalion or platoon, or other unit which has been brought into existence by the [p. 217] exigencies of warfare. The old spirit based on long years of comradeship has during the present war been replaced by one based on the sharing of common hardships and dangers.
More important than either esprit de corps in the strict sense or the camaraderie which is so closely associated with it, is the special relation existing between officers and men. Anyone having much to do with those who have taken part in the fighting of the war must have been struck by the extraordinary manner in which an officer, perhaps only just fresh from school, has come to stand in a relation to his men more nearly resembling that of father and son than any other kind of relationship. It seems dear that different battalions show the incidence of neurosis in very different degrees, and this is probably due more than anything else to the nature of the relations between officers and men by which the private soldier acquires towards his officer sentiments of duty and trust, while the officer is actuated, it may be dominated, by interest which could not be greater if those under his command were his own children.
This brief sketch of the aims and methods of military training has led me to distinguish three main processes -- suggestion, repression and sublimation, while others of less importance in relation to neurosis are habituation and side-tracking. I can now consider how those different factors will affect officers and men respectively. The heightening of suggestibility, though probably an inevitable result of any kind of military training, is pre-eminently one which affects the private soldier. It is the private soldier especially who is submitted to prolonged mechanical drill and is continually subject to the commands of others, while the officer is not only less fully drilled, but the periods in which he is subject to the commands of others are relieved by other periods in which he is the dispenser of commands and orders.
Sublimation, on the other hand, has more effect on the officer. It is doubtful how far the honour and welfare of the regiment or other unit appeals to the private soldier in general, though it is perhaps almost, if not quite, as definite among the non-commissioned as among the commissioned officers of the old army. In [p. 218] the new army, it probably means little or nothing to the ordinary soldier, in whose case any sublimation due to military training has its source in comradeship or in his feeling of respect and duty towards his officers, and especially towards either his platoon- or company-commander. It is because the aggregate with which he acts is composed of men with whom he has shared hardships and dangers with many of whom he has become comrade and friend, that this aggregate comes to have an influence upon him, while in other cases the relation towards his officer is more important. In each case, however, the result is the production of a state of dependence which works in the same direction as the factor of suggestibility already considered. The point of especial importance in relation to the incidence of neurosis is that the fact of comradeship to some extent, and far more the state of dependence on his officer, diminish the sentiment of responsibility and thus tend to enhance suggestibility or, perhaps more correctly, work in the same direction as suggestibility. In the case of the officer, on the other hand, the relation towards his men brings with it responsibilities which are perhaps more potent than any other element of his experience in determining the form taken by his nervous disorder, if he should break down. It is these responsibilities and other conditions associated with them which lead to his being so especially prone to suffer from the state of anxiety-neurosis.
The third main factor, repression, is very important in relation to the incidence of different forms of neurosis in officers and men. The officer is driven by his position to repress the expression of emotion far more persistently than the private soldier. It is the special duty of the junior officer to set an example in this respect to his men, to encourage those who show signs of giving way. In the proper performance of this duty, it is essential that the officer shall appear calm and unconcerned in the midst of danger. The difficulty of keeping up this appearance after long-continued strain or after some shock of warfare has lessened the power of control, produces a state of persistent anxiety which is the most frequent and potent factor in the [p. 219] production of neurosis, and is especially important in determining the special form it takes. The private soldier has to think only or chiefly of himself; he has not to bear with him continually the thought that the lives of forty or fifty men are immediately, and of many more remotely, dependent on his success in controlling any expression of fear or apprehension.
A factor of minor importance, but one which is nevertheless worth mentioning here, is that the officer is less free to employ instruments by which the Tommy finds a safety valve for repressed emotion.
The preceding argument has led us to the conclusions that of the three main agencies upon which the success of military training depends, one, suggestion, is especially potent and prominent in the case of the private, while the other two, sublimation and repression, have by far the greatest effect in the case of the officer. One of the chief results of military training is to increase the suggestibility of the private, and this increased tendency in one direction is but little counteracted by sublimation or complicated by the necessity for vigorous repression. The factor of sublimation may even tend to enhance his dependence and suggestibility. In the case of the officer, any increase of suggestibility produced by his training is largely compensated by the necessity for individual and spontaneous action, while the esprit de corps and other means of sublimation only tend in many cases to heighten his sense of responsibility and thus add still another cause for his anxieties. There are many officers, both commissioned and non-commissioned, to whom the honour of the regiment or battalion is quite as potent as responsibility for the lives of others' in producing the state of anxiety which forms the essential element in the production of their neurosis.
I have now considered how far the different forms of war-neurosis can be traced to the influence of military training and the nature of military duties. It is gradually becoming apparent, however, that the conditions of military training and active service are very far from exhausting the factors by which war-neurosis [p. 220] is produced. A large part, perhaps even a majority of the prolonged cases of functional nervous disorders which fill our hospitals, can be traced directly to circumstances which have come into being after some shock, illness, or perhaps only the ordinary process of leave, has removed the soldier from the actual scene of warfare. I have now to inquire how far the influence of military training and the nature of military duties assist in producing the neurosis of the hospital and the home.
Histories of cases of war-neurosis show that officers after some shock or illness often suffer for a time from those symptoms which I have ascribed to suggestion, but whether owing to treatment or spontaneous change, these symptoms soon disappear. It may be that the failure to be content with a simple but crude solution of a conflict which satisfies the private soldier is due to superior education, but the nature of his training and duties also contribute to this result. If the disability were the unwitting outcome of a conflict between the instinct of self-preservation and a simple conception of military duty, it might suffice to be paralysed or mute, but if the morbid state depends primarily upon sentiments of responsibility towards his military unit or his comrades, such a solution is not likely to satisfy his nature long. His conflict differs from that of the private soldier in that it is founded largely upon acquired experience rather than upon instinctive trends. It is more actively conscious than the process which has produced a paralysis or mutism. These disabilities fail altogether to touch the special anxieties which have taken the foremost place in the production of his illness.
In the state of weakened volition produced by shock or exhaustion it seems to the officer impossible that he will ever again be able to exert the vigour of control and initiative which alone enabled him to maintain the upper hand in the conflict of the trenches, and with this realisation, the former conflict is replaced by one still more painful and enervating, in which sentiments of duty struggle ineffectually against a conviction of unfitness.
In this conflict military training and duty take a most [p. 221] important place. There are many officers whose conflict would be solved, or would never have existed, if it were merely a matter of personal safety. It is the knowledge, born of long experience, that the honour of their military unit and the safety of their comrades depend on their efficiency which forms by far the most potent factor in the production or maintenance of anxiety states. To the private soldier, devoid of such responsibilities, the mere solicitude about his safety forms a less potent motive for conflict, and one which is more easily solved. Once the disability due to suggestion has disappeared spontaneously or by treatment, there may be no obvious conflict left. The instinct of self-preservation, to which his disability has been essentially due, will of course still be there ready to reassert itself if the occasion arise, but any conscious conflict is so readily solved in accordance with obvious standards of social conduct that there is no opening for the occurrence of a state of anxiety sufficiently profound to act as the basis of neurosis.
The conclusion reached in the preceding pages is that the private soldier is especially apt to succumb to that form of neurosis which closely resembles the effects produced by hypnotism or other form of suggestion, because his military training has been of a kind to enhance his suggestibility. The officer, on the other hand, is less prone to this form of neurosis and falls a victim to it only when there is some organic injury which acts as a continuous source of suggestion. On the other hand the officer is especially liable to anxiety-neurosis, because the nature of his duties especially puts him into positions of responsibility which produce or accentuate mental conflicts set up by repression, thus producing states of anxiety, the form taken by his nervous disorder. It will now be well to inquire whether this relation of military training and duties to the form of neurosis points the way to any practical conclusions. Several aspects may be considered here: nomenclature, prophylaxis, and treatment.
The nomenclature of functional nervous disorders is at present in a very unsatisfactory state. Cases of paralysis, contracture, anæsthesia or convulsive seizures, which provide the most striking [p. 222] manifestations of functional nervous disorder, were once universally known under the name of hysteria, because they seemed to be- especially apt to affect women. The words "hysteria" and "hysterical" acquired a meaning which made their use inconvenient for many purposes, and they were gradually replaced in practice by the term "functional," at any rate in this country. This term, however, has so wide an application as to make it of little scientific or practical value. Used originally as a means of avoiding the word "hysteria" it has become a label for a large number of morbid states differing widely from one another in nature, and calling for very different forms of treatment.
Another functional syndrome which is widely recognised is neurasthenia. Even before the war, however, this term was being used in so wide a sense that it was becoming every year of less value, and it has now lost the last remnants of ally scientific value it once possessed by its adoption as the official designation of the army for all forms of functional nervous disorder. A third term, psychasthenia, has been used in most textbooks of medicine, but in a very unsatisfactory sense. The cases usually called neurasthenia present signs of mental as well as of bodily enfeeblement, and if the term "psychasthenia" had been used for those cases in which mental exhaustion is especially prominent, there might have been some sense in its use. The term has been used, however, for cases of obsession, phobia and compulsion in which there is often no sign of general mental exhaustion, cases differing from the so-called neurasthenia in the special direction taken by mental energy rather than in any defect in its amount. All the old terms being thus unsatisfactory for one reason or another, it becomes necessary to find a wholly new nomenclature.
Babinski[6] has recently proposed pithiatism, a word derived from the Greek term for persuasion, as a substitute for hysteria. This term has been especially chosen to distinguish the cases formerly called hysteria from other similar states on which persuasion [p. 223] has no effect. Babinski has been influenced in his choice of the word by the need for a term to distinguish functional from organic paralyses, especially from the reflex, paralysis in which Babinski is especially interested. Through this special interest he has been led to ignore the large group of functional nervous disorders which are especially open to the influence of persuasion, but yet differ fundamentally in nature from the cases which the term pithiatism is especially intended to denote. It is also unusual, and hardly satisfactory, to denote a disease on the basis of a feature of its therapy. It will be much more satisfactory if it is possible to find a term based on the ætiological rather than the therapeutical aspect of the syndrome.
One term of this kind which has been used by Freud and his followers is "conversion-neurosis," The use of this term is based on a definite theory, according to which the paralysis or other affection is held to be the outward manifestation of some underlying unconscious tendency which thus finds a more or less dramatic expression. The paralysis, contracture or convulsive seizure is regarded as the product of a process of conversion whereby the energy of some unconscious process is transformed into, and finds expression in, one or more of these symptoms. Partly because the term implies a theory which all will not be ready to accept, but still more because there are other pathological states to which the term would be equally appropriate, it is improbable that this term will find general acceptance. Since it is generally conceded that these functional paralyses, contractures and other manifestations closely resemble, if they be not identical with, the products of suggestion, it would seem that suggestion-neurosis[7] might be an appropriate term. If I am right in my view that the special prevalence of these states in the private soldier is due to his enhanced suggestibility, this term becomes still more appropriate. The term has the advantage that its meaning is at once obvious and does not require recourse to the dictionary. Suggestion, being a common English [p. 224] word, is very unlikely to acquire the inconvenient associations which have become attached to hysteria. Suggestion-neurosis not only carries its meaning on the surface, but this meaning is one which points directly to an essential feature of the state it denotes.
For the other chief form of functional nervous disorder no more appropriate term can be found than that which I have used in this report. The meaning of anxiety-neurosis is also at once apparent. It indicates in direct fashion that anxiety is both the main factor in causation and at the same time one of the leading symptoms. The only disadvantage of the term is that it has been used by Freud and his followers in a somewhat narrower sense than that given to it in this report and in the work of MacCurdy[8] and other writers on war-neurosis. The Freudian usage has, however, had so little effect on the general body of medical practice that this disadvantage is not very great, and the usage now proposed only involves such widening of the connotation of the term as we might expect to be the result of the experience derived from the war.
Anxiety-neurosis is so often accompanied by repression, and so many of its symptoms can be ascribed to this ætiological factor, that repression-neurosis might seem to afford an alternative term. There are, however, many cases of anxiety-neurosis in which repression is not present or is of little importance. In many cases even the opposed process of dwelling too exclusively on the causes of anxiety is in action, so that the use of repression-neurosis would make still another term necessary. It will therefore be more convenient to speak of anxiety-neurosis with or without repression, although in some cases repression is so prominent as to make repression-neurosis a useful term. If-this term is used, however, it must be remembered that the state denoted is only one variety of anxiety-neurosis.
If there is any truth in the foregoing scheme of the influence of military training and duties in the production of the different forms of war-neurosis, it is evident that much might be done in [p. 225] the way of prevention. If the special tendency of the private soldier to suffer from suggestion-neurosis is due to the effect of military training in heightening his suggestibility, it will follow that this training should be carefully reviewed with the aim of modifying those of its features which tend especially to produce this result. It is probable that the necessary changes would correspond closely with those already made necessary by the nature of modern warfare. The encouragement of independence and the less mechanical training which is following the multiplication of the means of warfare should have as one of their consequences a lessening of the tendency to heighten suggestibility, and should therefore diminish the occurrence of suggestion-neurosis.
Much could be done in the prevention of anxiety-neurosis if the commanding officer and the battalion medical officer were alive to the conditions upon which this state depends. If they worked together to utilise this knowledge, many a young subaltern and non-commissioned officer would be saved during the early stages of his disorder by rest or appropriate change of occupation and brought back to health and peace of mind. Such measures are adopted at the present time, but often not until anxiety has produced a state of obvious unfitness, so that the period of rest or change prescribed is quite inadequate to restore stability. If the nature and causation of anxiety-neurosis were more fully understood, it would be possible to intervene at an earlier stage and save many a valuable career, for the victims of this form of neurosis often suffer through excess of zeal and too heavy a sense of responsibility and are likely to be the most valuable officers.
Another line in which much might be done towards the prevention of anxiety-neurosis is suggested by the part which repression takes in the production of this state. If the soldier were taught the dangers of repression from the outset of his postpone a breakdown to make it far more severe whenever it comes. The influence of repression in the production and maintenance of anxiety-neurosis suggests that from the beginning [p. 226] of his training the soldier should be encouraged boldly to face in imagination the dangers and horrors which lie before him. A most successful officer has told me how in the early days of the war he encouraged his men to "think horribly," to accustom themselves in imagination to the utmost rigours and horrors of warfare, with the result that they were highly successful in bearing the exceptional trials of the Gallipoli campaign. It is difficult to gauge how far this success was due to the course advised and how far to other conditions arising out of the personality of the officer who advised it, but the experience suggests that much might be done in this direction. We can at least be sure that a soldier who steadfastly refuses to face in imagination the trials that lie before him is very unlikely to cope successfully with the reality. Many of those who pass unscathed through modern warfare do so because of the sluggishness of their imaginations, but if imagination is active and powerful, it is probably far better to allow it to play around the trials and dangers of warfare than to carry out a prolonged system of repression by which morbid energy may be stored so as to form a kind of dump ready to explode on the occurrence of some mental shock or bodily illness.
If the argument of this report is sound, that the cases of functional nervous disorder hitherto labelled hysteria are largely due to suggestion and depend on the enhanced suggestibility of the private soldier, it might seem at first sight the obvious course to make use of this heightened suggestibility in the treatment, and to use suggestion, either with or without the production of hypnotic state. If, however, suggestion be used in the ordinary crude way to remove symptoms, this line of treatment will only tend still further to heighten the suggestibility of the patient and to increase the tendency to similar disorders whenever he returns to the field. If at the time that the symptoms are removed, suggestions are given against the occurrence of similar disabilities in the future, more could be said for this line of treatment, but this of course would not affect the heightened suggestibility which is the root of the evil.
The argument of this report points rather to a course in [p. 227] which treatment should be directed to lessen the suggestibility by a process of re-education. This process should be so designed as to make the soldier understand the nature of the disorder which has afflicted him. He should be made to realise the essentially mental basis of his trouble and be thus put into a position in which, even if the disability recurs, he will not long be satisfied with it as a solution of the situation. This line of treatment has the disadvantage that it sometimes succeeds in doing away with the paralysis or other symptoms only to replace the physical disability by a state of anxiety; but a soldier in whom the conflict between the instinct of self-preservation and duty is so pronounced as to lead to this result is very unlikely to show any more real success if treated by suggestion. Here, however, as in so many other departments of psychotherapy in connection with the war, we are hampered by our almost total ignorance concerning the after-history of soldiers who have been subjected to different modes of treatment. It is possible that there are sufferers from suggestion-neurosis who are capable of long and valuable service if the symptoms due to suggestion are treated by means similar to those by which they have been produced.
In cases of anxiety-neurosis the lines of causation considered in this report offer less help in treatment than in prevention. The knowledge of the process by which his state has been produced often greatly helps a patient, especially in removing or diminishing depression, or even shame, consequent upon failure. If he can be brought to see that his illness is the outcome of definite agencies over which he has had no control, or has been due to excess rather than defect in certain good qualities, the symptoms may be greatly relieved and the patient set upon a path which, if the exigencies of military service allow, may enable him again to perform his military duties. The knowledge of causation set forth in this report is useful in thus providing a groundwork for the process of re-education.
[1] A report to the Medical Research Committee, London. Published in Mental Hygiene, vol. ii, No. 4, pp. 513-533, October 1918.
[2] Among other possible conditions, those arising out of the influence of heredity should not be neglected.
[3] Another process or agency which might be considered here is imitation, but this process is probably only important in military training in so far as it depends upon suggestion.
[4] Ferenczi (see Contributions to Psycho-Analysis, Boston Badger, 1916, p. 58) has incidentally alluded to the similarity between he command of an officer and the suggestion of a hypnotist. He records how during his military service he saw an infantryman instantaneously fall asleep at his lieutenant's command.
[5] See Appendix III.
[6] See J. Babinski - and J. Froment, Hysteria or Pithiatism, and Reflex Nervous Disorders. London: University of London Press, 1918.
[7] I leave this proposal in the text of this Appendix, though I prefer the term "substitution-neurosis," founded on the pathology of the state which I have put forward in Chapter XVI.
[8] War Neuroses, Cambridge, 1918.


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Have you met your neighbour yet? We're inviting all EV residents to come meet one another at fun, free, community get-togethers throughout the summer. You'll get to know the East Village pioneers, the newly arrived EV'ers, and those who maybe haven't moved in yet but are coming soon!
Sundays are made for brunching. Why not enjoy it outdoors with some friendly faces? At 5th Street Square from 11am-2pm.


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As 2008 draws to a close, we look back with gratitude and look forward with determination and commitment to accomplishing what matters most to our residents.
We are blessed to live in the beautiful city of San Buenaventura, between two rivers, the Pacific Ocean and the foothills. Over the past 12 months, we celebrated progress and confronted challenges as a community. Before its winter recess, the City Council made the tough but clear decision to repeal the 911 fee that has made headlines and caused headaches since May. Although intended to bring much-needed revenue to our police and fire services, the fee was unpopular with residents, who wanted a decision-making role in raising new revenues for the community. We heard their concerns and agreed unanimously to repeal the fee and look elsewhere for funding Ventura's priorities in this tough economy. We welcome your ideas at www.cityofventura.net.
Community activism was in full force in 2008, on behalf of our environment and our views, and against big-box retailers. Ventura Citizens for Responsible Development placed a measure designed to limit building heights on the November 2009 ballot, and the Citizen View Protection Task Force has been formed in support of the goal of preserving Ventura's valuable viewsheds while maintaining a moderate, healthy growth rate. Joining VCORD on the November ballot will be residents organized against the possibility of a Wal-Mart Supercenter, or other grocery-selling big-box stores, within the city of Ventura. The community will continue its lively debate leading to the vote in the fall.
Cultural richness remains a trademark for our community, including the February ground-breaking of the Working Artists Ventura (WAV) live-work housing downtown, as well as the unveiling of M.B. Hanrahan and Moses Mora's Tortilla Flats mural at the Figueroa underpass this past April. Project Encore reinvigorated the historic Elks Lodge with physical upgrades and a lively array of musical and theatrical productions. The Rubicon Theater Company brought us another outstanding, award-winning season.
Tourists continued to visit Ventura and support our locally owned businesses, exploring our downtown cultural district during weekend ArtWalks, the Ventura Music Festival, Ultimate Boarder and other special events, as well as enjoying the Harbor Village and beach activities. We welcome their vital role in the success of our boutiques and restaurants and cultural venues.
Kevin Costner brought excitement this summer when he premiered his latest film, Swing Vote, and performed a free, open-air concert at California and Main streets. His visit coincided with the grand opening of the much-anticipated Watermark restaurant, which attracts locals and out-of-towners with its rooftop views and exquisite renovation of a historic landmark. Ventura is a city filled with entrepreneurs who are creative partners with the city government in shaping our future. We are fortunate to share their success by enjoying all their businesses have to offer.
A multimillion-dollar sewer, water and street-paving project was completed downtown, providing much-needed improvements in the oldest part of town and adding to the growing revitalization of this historic district. The Downtown Ventura Organization and Chamber of Commerce played key roles in keeping our local economy healthy by assisting small businesses and adding aesthetic improvements to our downtown shopping district.
The City partnered with Pierpont beach residents to grant coastal permits for the removal of sand that has been building up and threatening property for years. Several beach and downtown cleanup days involving hundreds of citizens and city staff, as well as 500 California Lutheran University freshmen, descending upon the Ventura River bottom to clear five tons of trash, made it clear that cleanliness is a shared priority.
Multi-use sports fields are a welcome new addition to our popular Community Park/Aquatic Center. Please join us for the Grand Opening celebration on January 17 from 10 a.m. to noon.
Looking ahead, we are tasked with reducing the City's budget by $8 million over the next two years while the federal and state economies falter. City revenues continue to decrease. But we are committed to success and sustainability at the local level. We will be making hard choices as we examine existing City services, aiming to increase efficiencies and preserve essentials while taking necessary steps to protect and enhance our revenue sources and keep them local.
2009 will bring new opportunities and challenges, and we look forward to meeting them creatively as we serve this community together.


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Scam Letter(s) from Olga Meteleva to Walter (USA)
Letter 1
My name is Kseniya and i like to speak with you!
I obtained your mail-box thru a dating agency so i came out with an idea, why don't i make a first move ;)
I am intended to find a nice buddy, a man, maybe a lover.
You see, usually i talk about relationships and erotic themes straightly and i don't like any hidden catches, so if you want we could use this opportunity to chat a little and share a couple of photos with each other, possibly some hot photos as well?! ;)
In any case, if you are even just a little intrigued, please reply to my personal address: email@example.com
I want to believe that you considered my proposal being intriguing and you'll answer me soon!
numerous sweet kisses,
Letter 2
Hi Walter! It's me, Kseniya, sorry for my slow reply, i was busy so much...
I am so very pleased, that you replied to my quick message! I was waited for your answer with a big impatience!
I hope you will be attentive to words that i am going to write, then i can assure you i will be patient and attentive reader also ;)
Cause from what you'll write to me i'll consider, is there any point in our further dialogue. The thing is, and i think you'll agree with me-it's so hurts to be ignored, yes? I want to be straight with you in our correspondence, i want to have a chance to talk free about what's on my mind. And it's so sad when you get ignore at the end, or rude words or more of it, when you've been called by a different name.
It's so unpleasant this happened with me a couple of times and less of everything i want it happen again. Ah, i am sorry if it sounds too pretentious, i don't want you to be frighten, i am a kind person after all. Please, read my letter to the end and only then make your conclusions. The point is, i am a gentle and loving girl but life gives lessons that needs to be learned, so i try to be more cautious now.
There is so much people that carries cruelty and evil with them. I am interested in you and the fact that you wrote to me tells that you like me too.
None of us could tell right now, where will our communication lead us to, i hope, no matter what we could be friends at least.
Well, to the point- something about me: i am a student, my main subject is sociology. I am 26 yo and i live in a town called Volgograd, Russia.
In my future letters i'll give you more detailed story. I must tell you right now, from very beginning, that in my free from studying time i am working as a dancer at night club, this is a very popular place and most of the time we should wear some very sexy wears ( sometimes topless), nothing more, no sexual encounter or anything else. i am not ashamed of my work. If you think that you can't communicate with a girl who sometimes shows her body in public places, it'll be better for you, well for me too, to stop this communication. I like man's who try to be honest with themselves, who doesn't judge just because most of the peoples do, brave and passionate persons. Please forgive my English, i am still learning and sometimes it's hard for me to translate, for example something from urban language or national specific. Anyway, forgive me if i'll miss something you'll write.
I like having fun, laughing and i think i am easy person in communication, like jokes, and the people who like to smile. Smile- is something you like to have when you live in a Russia, it helps )) Anyway, you'll not be bored next to me! Despite of that, i have not to much friends, but i try to be a best for this little company i have, true friendships is something really valuable! Hope we could be that kind of people to each other and will be careful and respectful to each other. I'll do my best from my side! It's not with any person i want to be engaged in such relationships, but, in some way, i want to try it with you. I like you and want to give it a try. i don't want you to think like i am irrational in some way, but we must confess to each others that attraction between man and woman is irrational by it's nature, don't it? I think i have my own head, i know something about peoples and society, well thanks to my education. Sometimes i think it's too much for a young woman like me, sometimes i want to feel myself silly little girl, who had someone who cares about her. But life had it's rules- either you grow quick either you lose.
So, i became an independent instead of waiting for someone.
Now i think, no matter what was in your life before you shouldn't complain, look at everything around you- life isn't simple but it also had it's beauty!
We are the creators of our world and we must chose the people that surrounds us wisely. That's my philosophy, what's you thinking about it?
Letter 3
Now i think, no matter what was in your life before you shouldn't complain, look at everything around you- life isn't simple but it also had it's beauty!
We are the creators of our world and we must chose the people that surrounds us wisely. That's my philosophy, what's you thinking about it?
There is something that's on my mind also, as i told you, i had an experience in talking with some peoples from Internet, and some of this experience isn't pleasant, as i told you before, i want to be heard but some peoples talks like robots and avoid personal communications, so will it be possible if i'll call you some day? When you'll be ready just write me your phone number and i'll call you. I want to hear your voice. I'll love to do that right when i repair my cell phone, i accidently crashed it at my work cause of some drunk girl.
Oh, one more thing, i wrote you that i want to make an exchange with some erotic photos with you, but i also want to be sure that it's not the only thing why you wrote me. I want to be sure you interested in me as a person also!
Some man's just wanted hot photos and they keep talking only about that, talking about some cash instead of my photos, but- the only way i can send this kind of photos is thru mutual respect and understanding. Some of this man's stopped writing me as soon as they got it. And this was not very pleasant for me. But, don't get me wrong, i think sending some hot photos to each other is really fun and exciting! It's a big pleasure for me to show this photos for someone i feel sympathy to!- It gives me wings to fly! I only ask you one thing, please dont be to insistent, let it go as it should go. Don't forget, i am waiting for your photos also and with a big impatience! Just resize them first, intenet speed is really low here and sometimes it takes ages to download a large scaled photo.
I am here and waiting for your answer with a big interest and huge impatience! I want to hear about the place you live in, your country, city, peoples around. I am so curious!
This was a long letter, but there is so much i need to tell you. I want to hear your opinion about main thoughts in this letter, don't make me waiting for too long!
With my best wishes,
Letter 4
Hello my dear friend Walter!
Could i call you my friend?
It was so great to receive a letter from you and i am so happy that you want to communicate with me further.
I want you to read my message carefully cause there is some important things i am about to tell you and i want to know what are you thinking about that. I am glad that you do not judge me cause of my work as a club dancer.
For me a dancing is just an expression of my mood and my perception of music and beauty of movement.
I have been hesitant when wrote you about my job in my first message, Mostly i don't talk with peoples about my job. But i think that any relationships should be built on trust and sincerity. I enjoy of dancing and some nice music, this makes me feel happy even when i am sad about something. I think i have a nice body, so dancing is something i was born for, i think :) Besides i think that every girl likes when someone finds her attractive and sexy, i like to think that i'm exciting girl )) It's really cheer me up. Hope my words doesn't knock you down, i try to stay straight thinking and free-minded. I am only asking you to not think about be as a lecherous girl or whatever. I am fragile, faithful and kind-hearted girl. I need only one man in my life to make me happy!
Sometimes life getting hard, sometimes bad things happen but no matter what, i love this life, every day, every hour!
But i stay rational and don't do anything that could be morally and socially unacceptable. And i think there is nothing wrong with my job as a dancer. Someday i could make a special dance for you only, would you like to see it Walter?
Every girl in our dance party has it's own nickname, a stage name, mine is Sun Flower. Does it sounds good in english?
The pictures i am sending you are made with a help of my old girlfriend. There was an accident with my computer a month ago and all of my pics were deleted. I'll try to find some or make a new ones for you. Don't forget to resize your photos before sending them to me, internet connection is so weak here, i am forced to use 3g modem for connection. Communication innovations appearing with a big delay in russia and 4g connection just start to appear in our places.
But for now the traffic payment remains high, i need to pay for each megabyte i am downloading and it's getting quite a big sum time to time. This is a reason why i can't use Skype or social networks or messengers. So for now, the best way of communication for us is email.
I mailed you some new pictures, hope you found them nice. I want to know what are you thinking about my photos, did they made any impression on you? I am always waiting for your photos with a big impatience, hope you'll make some new one for me special. I am about to send you some more exciting photos in future, when we'll get closer to each other.
You know, it's not easy for me to find a new interesting peoples, to let them in my life. But i find you a very nice and interesting person. I think i made a right move when i mailed to you first time and now i hope our communication will continue. I want we to learn each other closer. :) xoxoxo
Let's i tell you something about myself then, well, as i already told i am 26 years old and my photos should tell you everything about my appearance. I have no close relatives as i am an orphan. From very early childhood i was grown in a shelter. This was a tough times. There are so many memories i want to forget when i am thinking about this years.
Children protection programs are don't get enough cash from a government in russia, it's a big problem and very sad thing to talk about let us talk about something else. We could talk about this later.
Right then i left a shelter according to some local laws i was presented a small nice apartment not far from a city center. I was a diligent student at the shelter so this fact, as also my willing to proceed my education, gave me an opportunity to study at the local university without paying a huge cash. So i joined a sociology faculty of Volgograd State University. There is a lot of info and you probably asking yourself- why does she wrote all of those? :)
Letter 5
Education, gave me an opportunity to study at the local university without paying a huge cash. So i joined a sociology faculty of Volgograd State University. There is a lot of info and you probably asking yourself- why does she wrote all of those? :)
You see, this academic year will be a graduation year for me, and now it's time for my graduation practice that should be carried outside the country, where i must departure at the very nearest future. All the papers already signed and my tickets are booked. I was given two weeks to reach your capital city, but i didn't thought about where should i move after. I was told to choose any city of your country i want for my practice, where i'll be staying and where i'll get all i need to finish my education, like room, food, cash for a living. All this expenses will be taking care by the Finnish government as i am taking a part in their governmental education assistance program. I'll update you with details in my next letters. The main thing is that everything is ready and i'll arrive in your country very soon.
I'll need someone i know in the places where i am going to and i am extremely happy that i found you! This practice in your country will last for 5 month. So, we will have a plenty of time to meet in real, talk about everything, do whatever comes in our minds.
By the way, i love sex! This is a great opportunity to learn someone you like, sexual excitement makes souls wide open.
I am not pushing you toward this, everything will come as it should, in time and in right place. I hope you'll get my straightness right after all we are two adult human beings and it's all so natural when two people feel sympathy.
When the time will come and my practice ends, i'll have to return to russia to get my diploma.
Right after i'll graduate i have a plan to sell my flat and leave russia. So, i am deciding now where should i move after that.
My flat isn't big but it's my nice quiet place where i can hide from a world sometimes. I redesigned it a little so it's pretty nice looking apartment now, i proud of it ;) It costs me some good cash but still... I'm not getting much with my dances but i never ever ever being doing anything except dancing to earn my cash, no sex-cash deals, i am not a slut, i just like to dance, please remember this. And i despise a girls who falls so low that they sell their bodies, this isn't right!
Almost all the time i'm in the university or at the club, i try to keep myself busy, i like that.
I like sport, like to run at the early morning sometimes. Winter brings other fun stuff like skates or ski. Sometimes i visit a pool, in other words i try to keep my body in a good shape. What are you thinking about sport?
Oww, Walter, you must be getting so bored to read this long letter, i'll try to make next letter shorter :)
I am waiting for your thoughts regarding some things i wrote.
Hope you doing great and smiling after you read all of this, wish you a great mood!
Your Kseniya. Your Sun Flower
Letter 6
Hey my sweet dear Walter!
I am so pleased to get a letter from you, it brings a smile on my face and frequent beats in my chest!
It is so easy to talk with you. I would like to continue our correspondence, you definitely caught me with something!
I hope we continue our communication and find out where will it lead us to ;)
I thought maybe my previous mails was to cumbersome for reading so i need to make some clarification about my foreign practice and education assistance program. I hope that my english language level will allow me to make it understandable ;)
I should begin from a fact, that in despite of that i am living in russia i am not a russian on my nationality, my nation called "Udmurt".
I am sorry that i should begin from this far, but it is necessary you will see. Udmurt nation is not numerous, there are only about 500 thousand people all over the Russia and some in other countries.
Udmurt Nationality is just one of many nationalities of Finno-Ugric group. There are other nationalities there like Finns, Hungarians, Estonian etc.
There are plenty of info about Udmurt in the internet, and you can find it if you think this is interesting. Anyway, let me go on with my story, we are approaching to the point.
All this nationalities are tied with one cultural legacy and with a common help of each other they doing all to save this cultural unity.
so, the government of Finland established a international help program that supports Finno-Ugric peoples who lives in developing countries or in counties with unstable socioeconomic situation. I found this out when i was surfing thru the internet and i thought- i should try to get involved in this program, so i filled all the papers and sent it for review. About one month later i got a call from my university dean and i was told that my application was approved and, with a help from this Finnish program, my final practice will be carried abroad. I think that my orphan status and my achievements in studying played a significant role, so i was elected from many other peoples.
Dear Walter, this program gave me a big opportunities, they already paid for my flight tickets, and they also going cover all my habitation costs when i will fly to your country. I will also get a cash grant for all my possible needs during the time of practice, this grant is equal to 14 000 Euro.
I will get this cash when i get to my final practice location. I will be totally free to use this grant what ever i want, this cash will be given to me at the Finnish embassy in your country's capital city.
This grant will pay all my expenses that will appears during my practice, like rent, food, clothing, everything that i will need in this 5 month. But i will get this cash only in about two weeks at the Finnish embassy in your capital.
After i will sign all the documents and receive this grant, i will be free to go to any city i want and there my practice will be carried out and i want to choice your city.
Once again, all expenses will be covered by this governmental program- flights, land travels, residing, food...
Now i think that i am not so unfortunate person after all ;) I think you can imagine that- when something really good suddenly appears in your life it feel so fantastic, i can not believe this happening but it is true! After many ears of hard work, struggle and survival... It is some kind of miracle!
Ops, it seems that i am bothering you with my stories again))! Anyway i hope you feel just a little happy for me also.
Dear Walter, sounds silly but i just want to give you a part of my god mood to you.
Hope you didn't fall asleep cause of my endless talks and you will not disappear. Can you send me a letter soon? I want to hear your thoughts!
I want to know your opinion and i am also waiting for a couple of gentle words from you.
You can find a map in attach, there is a little info about Finno-Ugric nations location there, just for your interest...
I will be looking for your mail and i hope to see it soon.
It is so nice to have a talk with you, maybe it is more than just a friendship waiting us in future?
Hope so... ;)
Waiting for your reply,
Yours Kseniya
p.s. looks so nice on this photos you sent! my sweet kisses to you....
Letter 7
I am so glad to get a message from you! I was waiting for your lines with impatience.
Sometimes, when i check my mail and don't find new letters from you, i read the letters you sent me before once again.
I am so happy with your interest in me but sometimes i feel little sad when you have no chance to reply me fast.
Can i ask you to write me your letters as often as you can? Even a small ones, even a couple of words, it's always a big pleasure for me! I know, i know, sometimes it's i who is slow to reply, please sorry for that! Please try to understand my situation, my studying and my works takes a lot of time and believe me, i am using every single spare minute to write you my letters. Besides there are a lot of things i should do before my practice travel. Every free minute is a diamond drop and i'm writing you this letters with a diamond dust, only for you Walter :)
Probably a phone talk could be more comfortable way to talk or maybe not, who knows, but still, my phone is off line.
It was crashed and i thought- why should i buy a new one here?- I know that i can buy a cool iphone (that i was dreamed about a long time ago) significantly cheaper when i'll reach your country! After all it'll be so soon. I wish i could speak with you, hear your voice and talk about my travel, but right now i have no phone. So, the simplest way to keep our dialogue is emailing. I am very counting on your understanding. There are too much expenses and very little time because of this upcoming travel, so i have no chance to buy phone now. But, i'll try to find a way to speak with you on phone as soon as i can, believe me!
It's so great that you speak what's on your mind regarding my past letter.
Somehow i knew that you'll understand my life stance. Sometimes i catch myself on the fact that my english level isn't enough to express myself. But i am learning fast.
There is still no exact info regarding my flight, habitation and some other things...
There is so much things that i should solve in the first time in my life, and sometimes it makes me feel exhausted. I'll let you know all the information as soon as i'll get it. Never mind, the main point is that i'll arrive to your country soon, then i'll tell you the whole story about this long procedures. And you can be absolutely sure- nothing excites me more than our first meeting! :)
Hope you feel the same. Do you?
Sorry, but i'll have to keep this letter short. I was running all the day from one point to another, so much to do.
I am going to the bed early today and i hope to meet you in my dreams!
It will be a big day tomorrow- my friend Sveta's birthday. I presume it'll be boring there, you know, only couples, some of them married, some have childrens. And this is one of the situations where i find myself so lonely.
In this moments i feel how strong my need in a man's presence in my life, i mean one man, only men in my life!
And i have some good feelings about our dialogue in this way ;) Hope there will be some changes soon...
I wish you could be with me at this birthday, i bet the things become much much cooler! You made a great impression on me, so i think it's what you usually do with peoples. Am i right? :) Sending you a kiss :*
Anyway, i should be at this birthday party, Sveta is close friend of mine.
Letter 8
I'll let you know all the information as soon as i'll get it. Never mind, the main point is that i'll arrive to your country soon, then i'll tell you the whole story about this long procedures. And you can be absolutely sure- nothing excites me more than our first meeting! :)
Hope you feel the same. Do you?
Sorry, but i'll have to keep this letter short. I was running all the day from one point to another, so much to do.
I am going to the bed early today and i hope to meet you in my dreams!
It will be a big day tomorrow- my friend Sveta's birthday. I presume it'll be boring there, you know, only couples, some of them married, some have childrens. And this is one of the situations where i find myself so lonely.
In this moments i feel how strong my need in a man's presence in my life, i mean one man, only men in my life!
And i have some good feelings about our dialogue in this way ;) Hope there will be some changes soon...
I wish you could be with me at this birthday, i bet the things become much much cooler! You made a great impression on me, so i think it's what you usually do with peoples. Am i right? :) Sending you a kiss :*
Anyway, i should be at this birthday party, Sveta is close friend of mine. Actually she helps to make those photos i am sending you. And, there is a small secret i want to share with you.
We all were a first year students in those days. It was a long time ago.You know, wild blood boiling, so.. i and Sveta were lovers. It wasn't last long, a couple of month maybe, don't remember exactly. I don't think that i or she are lesbians and you too shouldn't think like that. We were just experimenting and that's all.
Anyway, now we are just a good friends.
I must warn you right now, i will not send you her photo )) I told her about you, that i found a special man in the net, she is happy for me, but still she asked to keep her anonymity. I already told you more than i should:) So, if you found my little secret exciting you should use your imagination only. Once again, please let it be our secret, ok? ))
It was a pleasure for me to write you this letter, this way i can tell you how strong i miss your words.
So, i am waiting for your reply.
Hope this letter made you smile and wasn't too boring.
It's sad, but i must finish my message, so tiered...
Sending you my photos, hope you'll like it ;)
Millions of kisses,
Your's Kseniya
Created: 2014-12-22 Last updated: 2014-12-22 Views: 164


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On April 28, 2015 a life shattering 7.8-magnitude earthquake struck near Nepal, claiming over 5,000 lives with more than 10,000 injured and the numbers continue to rise.
Recently @EchelonEmpire alongside @EchelonDonates, @30STM_fanatic, @30STMARMY, @30STMVOTE, @CiMarsLover, @GreenEchelon, @MarsWebCrew, @UK_ECHELON, @wtbfechelon & @yesthisisacult, (with a special thanks to @sugaronmars) have banded together as Echelon For Nepal, to help those affected during this tragic time. We're offering a way to help and you could win prizes in the process!
After extensive research, conducted by Echelon Donates, our partnership has led us to two non-profit organizations whom we feel will make the biggest impact, UNICEF and GlobalGiving. Send us a confirmation of your donation and you will be entered into a chance to win one of the prizes listed below!
A Miniature Into The Wild Triad donated directly from the creator herself Bec's! (But we call her Sugar)
An autographed LLFD CD donated by Echelon Donates
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Sugar's Nepal Experience
Below is a small excerpt from Sugar's recent visit to Kathmandu, Nepal eight weeks prior to the earthquake. To read her full encounter click here.
After getting a little lost, we pulled up outside a building and as I looked through the metal gates, I saw a group of children all running up with their hands together shouting "Namaste" (Nepal's way of greeting someone, much like 'Hello' in English). I was instantly overwhelmed at all these happy little faces greeting us, smiling and waving as we got out of the cab.
About UNICEF
UNICEF promotes the rights and wellbeing of every child, in everything we do. Together with our partners, we work in 190 countries and territories to translate that commitment into practical action, focusing special effort on reaching the most vulnerable and excluded children, to the benefit of all children, everywhere. http://www.unicef.org/about/who/index_introduction.html
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