text:
Please use this thread if you have been directly effected by this type of situation.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:28 PM, March 19th (Monday)]
There has been infidelity in my family too. My parents separated when I was two. For a long time I thought it was because of my mother's addiction, and maybe it was. But I learned a couple of years ago that she cheated on my father with his best friend. My father forgave them both, it seems, or rather I'm guessing - his best friend has been around for years, hanging out with my father and me, and I never knew.
My mother came out a few years later. She had a girlfriend. We three moved in together during my early teens, and I looked to her girlfriend as my stepmother. They were together for six years before we learned that my mother had been sleeping with one of my stepmother's best friends. It tore them apart. I learned later that my mother had asked to open up their relationship for sexual reasons, and feeling pressured to let her be happy, my stepmother said yes. Later she asked that my mother not sleep with a specific six mutual friends, including the OW. My mother asked her, "What if it's too late?" and continued sleeping with OW. When my stepmother learned her identity, she left. I came home one day to be informed that she had moved out, her relationship with my mother was over, and OW and my mother had been seeing each other and were now together. Three years later, they broke up because my mother wanted a sexual thing, and OW wanted to be the "girlfriend". Three years of seeing them together, of trying to get my father to let me be at his place more often. Three years of being left alone on weeknights while they were out at clubs, or staying at school or work late (I worked in high school), of having to buy OW holiday presents, of having to cook for her. Three years of hell.
My stepmother met another woman, and to this day they are beautifully happy together. My mother is now in a polyamorous relationship; her girlfriend is married. All parties know each other and communicate, and it seems very healthy. I am happy for her. But I am also still struggling with what happened between her, my stepmother, and the OW. I consider it cheating. And it seems like she is rethinking how she did things back then. She admits that the way she handled the "open" part of her and my stepmother's relationship was "sloppy". In the last six months, we've had some slightly more open discussions about how it went. I haven't been able to tell her all my feelings yet; how much it hurt that she could betray my stepmother that way, that it felt like she betrayed me also. I'm scared to. Maybe someday. She is surprisingly respectful of my decision to be monogamous... even though she jokes about how she thinks it's part of the "heteronormative agenda". I don't question her open relationship now; I question how open her relationship was with my stepmother when there was so much secrecy.
I think it has affected my own relationships. I put up with more emotional abuse than I should have in hopes of "earning" love. I'm working on that in therapy.
Thank you for this thread, mods.
[This message edited by silverhopes at 7:21 PM, February 18th (Saturday)]
[This message edited by momdaughterwife at 9:30 PM, February 18th (Saturday)]
Mother was born to alcoholic father and sick mother; Her mother died of breast CA when my mom was 6. Her father was murdered four days later. Lots of ugly custody battles. Her uncle and his wife eventually adopted her (the aunt wanted nothing to do with me mom and treated her like a slave child). As soon as my mom went to college she latched onto the first KISA she could find. My dad.
Since my mom had had no emotional support growing up everything revolved around things. Her family was very wealthy. My dad promised he would get an MBA and support her in the way of life she wanted. He did not. He changed his mind and decided to join the ministry. This made my mother very angry. Not only was there no financial payout but then she had to be the dreaded "preachers wife." It took all for four years before she started having an affair with... the lead deacon.
When it was time for my dad to be fired from this preaching job, too (poor dad... such the idealist) my mother threw a fit and said she'd leave him if he tried to find another preaching job. This deacon was also the only one who fought for my dad's job. I wonder why? Rotten asshole.
So my dad stopped preaching, became depresssed, started sleeping in the guest room dosing him self on massive amounts of benedryl. I'm sure he would have drank if that hadn't been "against" our religion.
So he went back to college (I was in jr. high.. only child BTW... lucky me) and he got an engineering degree and worked in that field for the rest of the time I was at home. Mother continued her affair unbenowst to me. My father knew but never asked who it was. To this day he doesn't know who the OM was.
My father started using me in inappropriate ways (nothing sexual just not right). He had no boundaries and started telling me he had the right to get prostitutes, look at porn, etc. He took me to his 20th year high school reunion because my mom wouldn't go. He would have me accompany him to work situations in the place a spouse would normally be at (I was 16). I tried to stay away from both of them as much as possible. I'd already begged him to divorce her but he refused. I just don't think they wanted a custody fight.
I knew when I went to college they would finally end it. It did take one year but the summer between my freshman and sophomore year they woke me up on their 20th anniversary to tell me they were divorcing. "now go have fun at Six Flags today." Like it was no big deal. Of course I knew the writing was on the wall because cooking utensils and sheets and towels had been disappearing as my mother stocked her "love nest" in the metroplex far away from my bedroom hometown.
So I finally got the divorce I wanted my sophomore year of college. And therapy. My father started dating with a vengeance and brought one woman after another to meet me at school. Finally after a year of this he brought one to meet me he had known for a whole month and was going to marry her!
She told me she would end it all if I just said the word! WTF!! You don't put that on a 19 year old kid!! Anyway so they got married four months after meeting. I met my step sisters at the wedding. "Hey, this is A and P, your new step sisters. They'll be living in your house now. Get your stuff out or it goes in a garage sale!"
All the while my mom continued with the deacon who was married. I finally figured out by the end of college that she was having an affair but she never admitted to it until I was 29 years old! Yes, two more years of college, four years of med school and three years of residency went by before she ever admitted that she was having an affair and who it was with and that it had started when I was ELEVEN years old!!
This was also the same time I admitted that fWS and I were more than just, ahem, roommates. So I made the crazy agreement to spend my 30th birthday with mom, MOM, and fWS in Las Vegas. WTF was I thinking?!?!?! I guess I was just grateful that she still loved me even though I was gay. WFT, I now feel like I was some kind of condoner of their "arrangement." The SOB even calls me to ask me questions about his damn prostate and his WIFE'S medical problems!!
So now I'm 42 years old. My mother has been the OW to a MOM for 31 years!! Their relationship is now platonic but only because he is now in his 80s and stuff doesn't work! Ugghh!! My mother has moved out to where I practice medicine but boy has the whole A between fWS and skank OW caused tension for everyone. How do I refer to OW as a whore-home wrecker when my mom's been doing the same thing for years. She always justified it by saying "the heart wants what the heart wants." What fuckin' drivel!
Of course I've never told the BS of the MOM. She's now in her late 70s and dying so what would the point be? The whole thing just makes me feel stained and dirty. Oh and my father still thinks that MOM is his friend and has invested money with him. I told my dad to stop giving that guy money. Really.
Anyway, when I was picking a spouse 16 years ago I purposely picked one from an intact seemingly happy family. I wouldn't marry a man because I knew I was gay and didn't want to end up like my mother. Yet, I inadvertently married someone like my mother who would cheat and so I ended up like my father instead. What an idiot!
For anyone who takes the time to read this, thank you.
[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 4:49 PM, February 19th (Sunday)]
My heart goes out to you Momdaughterwife and to you Silverhope. I have nothing to offer you but my best wishes for a healthy happy life. As I gain clarity, I promise I will respond to you with any info I have.
Please see my profile for my story.
As a FWW, I have spent quite a bit of time wondering if my father's cheating somehow gave me permission to cheat on my husband.
I don't accept the obvious answer "yes" because my father and mother's circumstances appear to be different than those of me and my late husband.
My father was married to my mother, a woman who was still in love with her first husband(deceased war veteran). He met a woman who loved him unconditionally. He had been abandoned by his mother and father as a young child and had severe abandonment issues.
After being told by his AP that she was going to break up with him if he didn't leave his wife, he made the decision and told my mother that he was in love with someone else and wanted a divorce.
My parents told my sister (age 10) and I (age 12)(our older half-brothers were already out of the house) and our lives turned up-side down. My mother committed herself to a mental hosptal and my soon to be step-mother and her two teenage sons moved in to our family home.
I immediately fell in love with my Step-mother. She was kind, loving, yet stern. We had to do more chores, but got more attention. I gave her chocolates and a card on the first mother's day we spent with her. I wasn't thrilled with her sons, but there wasn't any big problems.
My step-mother and father stayed together for approx 20 years when she died of cancer. I was heartbroken when she passed.
My mother remained bitter about my father and his actions until she hit her 80s when she developed altizmers. Ironically, he had developed the same disease about the same time.
They would both talk to me from different nursing homes in different states about each other. It was so strange. All of the pain and hatred was gone. They both just talked about the early loving times.
My question today is trying to figure out how this background relates to my having an affair.
Did the fact that my father and step-mother were happy and loving and my father and mother were distant and disconnected give me permission to be with someone else when I found myself in an unhappy marriage?
The obvious answer seems to be yes, but I wonder. Other than that difficult time during my marriage, I have been a faithful and extremely loyal mate. I didn't cheat on my first husband and he was far more abusive than my second. I have not cheated in any other relationship. And today, as a single woman, I am unable to date more than one man at a time.
Any thoughts are appreciated.
Mods thanks again. This is such an important topic.
[This message edited by wanttounderstand at 5:05 PM, February 19th (Sunday)]
Both my parents are cheaters.
My dad started cheating on my mom before they were married (they had a long engagement). Only once that she can confirm (she contracted an STD). Then cheated on her periodically after that. He admitted to a ONS with a prostitute while my mom was miscarrying, there are various assumed As before and after that. To my knowledge he mostly had PAs with hookers, however he did have EAs and possibly some PAs with people he worked with or worked for him. When my mom was sick with breast cancer and having a mastectomy in another state he was having, at the very least, an EA with our baby sitter (I was 16 at the time but my siblings were 6, 6, 6, and 9). I can remember calling my mom and telling her she needed to come back ASAP because something was going on. Too friendly with her, always "helping her" with something, she would touch his shoulders or his arm in a very non-employee way. She also made a comment about "well, if *I* was your mother..." to myself/siblings which sounds innocuous but her tone of voice implied that she considered it a distinct possibly that she *would* be our "mother" at some point. I moved out at 19 and was not aware of any A activity as I was several states away.
Fast forward to when I was 25. I now live near my parents again. My mom tells me that she and my father are getting a divorce. I am actually not that surprised or especially displeased with this. He was controlling, emotionally (though never physically) abusive, and I knew he had cheated on her (I only knew about one time and only because my sister had brought it up and I had questioned my mom about it). I also find, on his computer (while admittedly snooping), various emails to prostitutes soliciting sex.
My dad, who has had various medical problems throughout his life fell sick several days after she revealed to me that they were separating, but before any news of this had been relayed to my siblings. He was hospitalized. I offered to spend the night at their house so she could go to the hospital. Mom confides that she thinks a man who had previously worked for them is interested in her. I'm not sure how to react but say something about how she'll be single soon so then she can pursue that if she wants. She had previously been "helping" him with his "custody case" regarding his youngest child (he has 8 or so, and possibly more that he hasn't claimed and none lived with him). One night she doesn't come home till about 3am. I ask her were she was. She states she fell asleep at OM's house. Remember, at this point my siblings still think she and my father are married and fairly happy. Her "dates" with OM become a nightly occurrence, using me to cover for her. After a week of this I give her an ultimatum; she has three days to tell my siblings what is going on or *I* tell them. Cornered, she finally sits the children down and tells them (they are 15, 15, 15, and 18 at this point).
What follows is several years of hell. My father's health deteriorated rapidly. My mother instantly shacked up with OM (moving out the day after telling my siblings). OM is a drug user, dealer, emotionally AND physically abusive. My siblings bounce from house to house, not really sure which is worse. My youngest sister comes to live with me for a year. My mother spends her time working to support unemployed OM. I take over care of my father who is becoming more and more disabled as time progresses. My sister goes to live with my grandparents, my brothers come to live with my father who sets no boundaries and allows them to act out and act up in ways that would have, previously, merited strict punishment (drinking, partying, street racing, etc). My mother tries to get custody of OM's youngest child as he is a "wonderful father" (still reeling over that one). The oldest of my siblings escapes with friends and moves several states away. My youngest brother is suicidal.
Things go from worse to... well.... worse. OM becomes physically violent to my siblings. My brothers, now 17, feel they cannot leave because they think OM will kill my mother (which is probably true). My father needs progressively more care and is unable to really support himself financially.
My mother finally decides to leave, moving states away. Still in a fog over OM, believes it was only RECENT drug use that made him "crazy", continues contact with him, etc. Gets custody of his youngest child thereby binding herself to him forever.
My father, now disabled but living in the house next door to me (so he has a semblance of autonomy) has rewritten history to paint himself as the hero and her has villain. He also repaints my (and siblings') childhood as well as other key events.
My sister gets a brain injury while doing cheer leading. Mother will not pursue treatment options because she is "too busy" and (my opinion) likes that my sister is now home to give her free babysitting. Sister is now a shut-in.
Throughout both parents use, mostly me (as I prefer to be the one they use, instead of my young siblings), to pass messages and "check up on" the other person, they attempt to manipulate me (and siblings) to "their side" through lies and gifts. They lie. They ruin themselves financially. They BREAK MY FAMILY.
The current: My father died in November (3 days after I found out about my SO's A, nice that). My mother is in the "off" position of her on and off again relationship with OM. She *says* he is clean now. Brothers will both graduate HS this year (late, they missed a lot of school... guess why???). I am handling my dad's estate. I am trying to help my shut-in sister get into (and stay in) college. I am trying to get my brother, who still has severe depression, help.
So I guess I am done "dealing with unfaithful parents" but still trying to put the pieces back together from their screwed-upped-ness.
Trying to R...
I was just SO sure that given what FWS and I had BOTH suffered..., that FWS would NEVER want to hurt me in the exact SAME way.
I took out the parts that didn't pertain to me.
I took out the parts that didn't pertain to me.
This. I thought I was "safe" because he understood. The fact of the matter is that his experience was much different than mine and by the time we met, my mom and dad were separated.
WH's father died when he was a baby leaving behind his older sister, a brother not of the same mother who he's never met and who is older than him but younger than his sis, and himself. He never saw the stress and turmoil infidelity caused because he was a baby.
At the age of 11, he went to live with his grandparents and it was rumored that his grandfather was cheating on his grandmother. After years of living together, my impression is that his grandparents' marriage was "dead" and she really didn't care what her husband was up to. Of course, my impression is based on what I was told by WH.
So he basically didn't really know the ramifications of infidelity even though it was happening all around him.
How is your relationship with the unfaithful parent vs. the faithful?
Both my parents were unfaithful. My mom was the OW in my dad's second marriage. I am the OC. He left his second wife to live with my mom and was unfaithful to her throughout their relationship with various women. She knew about them but was unable to leave, emotionally and financially. She did have one or two EA's while i was young. I've only realized this recently. She finally left by having an exit A with a single man who treated her like a booty call (he called and she would leave us to be with him). This went in for 7 years. Until very recently, I had never seen my mom show an ounce of self respect.
I vowed to not be like my parents and here I am, with a wayward for a husband. Crap. My biggest struggle is "if I knew what infidelity looked like, why the f*ck did I marry a cheater?!"
As for my parents, I don't really have a close relationship with them. My father passed away in January, but prior to this, it had been close to 10 years that I had not spoken to him. He was an emotionally abusive man and our distance was more because of the kind of father he was than the kind of husband. My relationship with my mon is platonic. I tell her the bare minimum. Her disregard for us whenever the OM called left a scar. It doesn't hurt, or throw me in a fit of rage anymore, but I don't trust her to have my best interest in mind.
Maybe this is why I've been able to stay with WH for so long after dday, though what I want is D. It is known and comfortable to feel like the only one looking out for me is me. I don't believe something else could exist.
[This message edited by icbtih8 at 7:33 AM, February 23rd (Thursday)]
Beauty is a calling...a call "to transfigure what has harden or was wounded within you"
-- John O'Donohue
I vowed to not be like my parents and here I am, with a wayward for a husband. Crap. My biggest struggle is "if I knew what infidelity looked like, why the f*ck did I marry a cheater?!"
@ icbtih8
My biggest fear is ending up like my mom. Married to a serial cheater who emotionally tramples their SO whenever they want to.
Here is my story (warning, it might be really long).
My mother and my father got married in 1972, or 73. I came along in '76. My brother J, came along in '78. By 1980 my father was a city policeman, and he was a cheater.
Around this time, I just turned 5 (or maybe I was 4?). My mother's birthday is in September, and my dad, my mom, and mom's BFF went "out" to celebrate. The next morning, I woke up, likely at the crack of dawn, as kids do, and I wanted my breakfast. I remember that I had recently been allowed to pour my own cereal in the bowl, but still needed help with milk. I walked into my parents' bedroom, to ask my mom for help. To my surprise, I saw my mom on her normal side of the bed. My dad in the middle of the bed, and mom's BFF on the other side of my dad. Topless.
I remember feeling very, very scared. I walked over to my mom, and said "Mommy, why is Mrs C in bed with you and daddy" My mother sat up, looked over, and said "Go to your room."
The next few hours were nothing but screaming. J came in my room, and we just held each other.
After that, my mom just cried all the time. My dad moved out to live with Mrs C, and her two kids. I remember when my dad was leaving, I wrapped myself around his leg and begged "Daddy, please don't leave. I'll be a good girl", and he said to my mother "Get her off of me."
My mother and father divorced after that. My mother went on to marry a good guy, and they have been married 26 yrs.
My father went on to his second wife (who was NOT an OW), and had my 2nd brother, C. Their marriage lasted about 3 yrs, because he started cheating on wife #2 with a 17 yr old burger king employee. My dad was in his 30's at this time. My father introduced us to his "friend" on my birthday. He said "Let's keep this between you and me. I need you kids to be tactful." I didn't know what tactful meant, so when I got home, I asked my mother. She said it meant to keep a quiet counsel to yourself. I said "Oh so it means don't tell someone if someone else does something they aren't supposed to do?" My mother said "what happened?" So I told her that my dad brought this girl on the boat and said she was his friend but we needed to be tactful about it. My mother said "How does that make you feel?" I said "I feel scared and sad and I want to to talk to Laura." So my mother dialed up my stepmother, and said "N needs to talk to you." So I told my stepmother about my dad's girlfriend. She thanked me for being honest with her, and told me she loved me. I, to this day, treat Laura as family.
After I outed my dad, this girl used to torment my stepmother. She'd call Laura and taunt her.
Finally, she had enough and filed for D.
My father went on to marry the OW, whom I hated. She was 6yrs older than me, and didn't want me, J, or C around. So we never saw my dad.
Dad had a vasectomy after C was born, because he maintained that C was "an accident", and that my stepmother "trapped" him. I was 12 yrs old when C was born. I said "Wow, dad, I didn't know it was 1858 and you HAD to marry a girl if she was pregnant."
My father yelled at my mother for "poisoning" my mind against him. I mean, God forbid, I have my own thoughts and opinions.
Anyway, fast forward a little, and dad has been married to OW for about 8 yrs. She comes to him and asks for D. He panics and says he'll do anything to stay M. He really loved this girl. She said "well I decided I want kids and you can't have any, so I want out."
My dad had his vasectomy reversed for her. She left him anyway, after finally confessing that she fell in love with a lawyer, and she gave him the "ILBINILWY" speech. He was devestated.
I thought he got his Karma. And I said as much to him.
After a few years of being on his own, he got married again. To a woman who is 6 mos older than me, and shares the same first name with me. (Creepy). Six years ago, they had my baby brother, D. I love that kid to pieces. I even get along well with my new stepmother. She hates when I introduce her as "My Stepmother, N". I find it funny.
Now, I do act like my relationship with my dad doesn't matter. I put on a lot of bravado.
It does. I have major, major abandonment issues. The memory of him saying "Get her off of me", will not die no matter what I do. I judged my own self worth from that incident for SUCH a long time.
My dad left me=my dad doesn't love me=why should anyone else?
My first serious relationship was a best friendship that turned into romance. I was 17. He joined the Army. He asked me to marry him on Christmas the next year. By that April, he already had an OW in another solider. I found out about her that June. He left his wallet open to her picture. I thought it was MY picture. We looked A LOT alike.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't confront. Turns out he bragged to our friends that he had this "girl" back at the base that would do anything for him, buy anythinig for him, etc. My friend said "You tell her, or I will." He said he would. He didn't.
So my best friends in the world sat me down and said "N, Jamie is having an affair." I told them I knew..and the BF of my friend, K, said "He said he still loves you and wants to marry you, but when he's down there, he's "Jimmy", not "Jamie" and is living like that."
I waited for his ass. I waited for him to ETS, and come home to me. Well he ETSd alright, and he came home. For a week. A week that he hid from me. Then he moved to Boston, to be with her. They got married, have two kids and are happy.
I'm happy for him, I am. It took me a LONG time to get there though!
My relationship (or lack thereof) with my father has shaped every relationship I have had with a man. I KNOW what cheating looks like, yet I have managed to get involved with cheaters.
When I turned 30, I took a long look at my life. I forgave myself for past mistakes, and I think I truly started to love myself. I stopped basing my self worth on whether or not my broken father loved me. He does. In his own way, which is not my way. I learned that.
I don't think he's cheating on my now stepmother, but he never, ever got help for himself to see why he did what he did, so you never know.
Now, my current F, is dealing with his father's recently brought to light infidelity. I have talked about this before....his dad chose a stripper crack whore to cheat on his mom with. his mom is in her 70's. His dad is in his late 60's. He's been in this affair for 9 yrs now. He has been caught, gaslighted, admitted it, gone underground, got caught, gaslighted, admitted it...it's a vicious circle.
His mother chooses to bury her head in the sand. But, she confides in my F, which is so unfair to him. He doesn't know what to do or say, and he hates his dad now. His dad acts like he does nothing wrong and can't understand why anyone would ever be angry with him.
So we make a good pair, my F and I!
I wanted to answer the question:
How is your relationship with the unfaithful parent vs. the faithful?
My father and I have a friendly relationship, but not a family/father/daughter one. That's as far as I can go. I can say "I love you Dad", but if I try to get emotionally invested in him, I usually get burned. Instead I focus on my relationship with my baby brother. I don't know how healthy that is though. The love I want to show to my dad, I show to my brother. He loves me, unconditionally, so there is no fear of rejection. How sad is that? I fear rejection of love from my father.
My mother and I are close, although we butt heads frequently. But, with her, I have unquestioned trust. She has never lied to me, used me, or put me in harm's way. All things that my father has done.
I didn't want her in my kids' life as a mother figure.
That is very profound. To me, that's one of the scariest results of infidelity; the OP winding up with some sort of power over the children. I think you're brave for protecting your kids that way.
The thing about having these parents who cheated... It's sad because I think we learned not what kind of role model we wanted, but what kind we didn't want. And that affects us more deeply than we'll ever know. That's not a way to learn life values, by seeing horrible examples instead of positive ones. But we can reclaim some of it, especially as parents ourselves.
Something I struggle with is how much I still love my mother and didn't want to lose her, how I was always scared of losing her (she had a drug addiction during my early childhood). But what she did to my stepmother absolutely disgusted and hurt me. My therapist has said that I need to work on forgiveness. Forgiveness isn't saying that what happened is okay; it's accepting that yes, it really happened. It's letting go of some of the pain that it happened. I know it's not an overnight process. Each day I need to make the decision to forgive a little. But I'm wondering where to start. Maybe by realizing and being thankful that my stepmother has moved on, and that it's not happening to her anymore. She's not in pain anymore.
Momdaughterwife and itainteasy - I am so glad that your mothers remarried to men who loved them so much. That is the greatest gift out of so much pain. That someone better for THEM came into their lives.
My relationships with my parents were... well, they were complicated by a lot of other things. My diagnosed mental illnesses, my mother's drug addiction, my father's issues with my mental illness in middle school (he hit me a few times when I verbally pushed him too far), the split custody, historic issues with my godmother who I think has some boundary issues, my family's general issues with being passive aggressive and explosively angry, my father's decision to not be in his grandson's life... But I will say, generally, that my father has always been more responsible than my mother. During my mother's drug addiction, I gained some sort of horrible complex that I needed to take care of her (and everyone). It was unhealthy. Also that anything that went wrong, was my responsibility. That I had to keep the peace. So I hid a lot of feelings about my mother's infidelity from myself for a while. My father didn't even know about her betrayal of my stepmother until a couple of months ago, when I emailed him about it (he emails me to keep in touch and ask about therapy, but his requirements for us to keep in touch are that I am to overcome my mental illnesses and in the meantime not speak to him about my son or husband. I haven't seen him in almost two years, by his choice and not mine). Long way of saying, my relationships are complicated with them. All three of them. Forgot to mention that my godmother is an OW in an LTEA (ex fiancé from 40 years ago), and it makes me sick. But my therapist said that I am not to judge her for her lifestyle and that I cannot say anything against her choices out of respect for her as my elder and parent figure. I said something once, she ignored me, and continues to talk about the married man. I've begun walking out of the room when she starts. I feel shitty for being rude to her, and even sicker to think that she justifies doing this. And keeps trying to tell me about it like it's this great secret! After I've told her so many times how my mother's and WH's actions have hurt me. She's made excuses for them somewhat, and I accept that she has her own issues. I still love her. Just not her choices.
Love them, and my way of love is different ...that resonates with me. Thank you itainteasy.
[This message edited by silverhopes at 11:48 PM, February 25th (Saturday)]
It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that the way I love and the way my dad loves are very, very different.
But once I did, it was a lot easier to be around him, and involved with his life.
I am very blessed to have my stepfather in my life. He's been there in every way that counts for 26yrs.
silverhopes, my heart is just broken for the little girl you once were. You had to be a grown up way too early, and it is so unfair that you had so much adult pressure to take care of everybody.
I know my mental illnesses were hard on them though. How do you tell your parents it's not their fault you're sick? No parent wants their child to be sick. I still feel guilty that I don't know how to be normal. But we're working on that in therapy.
I think we all had to grow up way too fast.
I like what you said about your way of loving is different from your father's. That's so wise.
[This message edited by silverhopes at 12:03 AM, February 26th (Sunday)]


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A benefit estate sale will be at 8 a.m. Saturday at 624 Liberty Lane on Choccolocco Road near White Plains. All proceeds will benefit Nances Creek Baptist Church which was damaged in a storm. The sale will take place rain or shine. Call 410-552-6890 for more information.
The seventh annual benefit bake/yard sale for the Alabama Baptist Children's Home will be 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday at the Cheaha Club House, Oxford. Call 256-201-3766 for more information.
A Relay for Life yard sale will be 7 a.m.-1 p.m. Saturday at the Odd Fellow Lodge, U.S. 278 Bypass in Piedmont. The event is sponsored by Farmers & Merchants Bank.
AARP safe driving class will be 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Saturday at the Oxford Public Library. Anyone who has a valid driver's license may take the class. Upon completion of the class you may qualify for a discount on your auto insurance. The cost is $12 for AARP members and $14 for non-members. Call 256-294-2301 for registration or more information.
A Calhoun County rabies clinic will be held Saturday at the following times and locations:
• 7:30-9 a.m., Winn Dixie, Coldwater.
• 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Weaver City Park.
• 8-9 a.m., Jacksonville High School.
• 9:30-10:30 a.m., Ohatchee OldTown Square.
• 11 a.m.-noon, Alexandria High School.
The vaccination will cost $10 and no other vaccines will be available. Call 256-435-9398 for more information.
A poetry night will be held with doors/artist's sign-up list opening at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday at Peerless Saloon & Grill. The event will be held the second Tuesday of each month. Call 256-419-8771 or 256-453-5866 for more information.
Calhoun County Schools will hold pre-registration, for new students who will enter kindergarten in the fall, 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Thursday in the elementary school offices of the school district in which the student has legal residence.
Cheaha Regional Head Start is accepting applications for the upcoming 2013-2014 program year. Children must be 3 years of age by Sept. 1. Contact the following centers for more information: Norwood Head Start, 256-237-8628; Ayers, 256-831-4360; Hobson City, 256-831-8491, Constantine, 256-831-0940 or Piedmont, 256-447-0326.
Events at the Hobson City Public Library, 610 Martin Luther King Drive, include:
• Family night, 5:30-7 p.m., Mondays, food, activities, crafts and more are sponsored by Anniston Community Education Foundation.
• Saturday afternoon movies, 2 p.m., free event sponsored by Ross Handy Mart.
Call 256-231-7069 for more information.
Events at the Public Library of Anniston-Calhoun County, 108 E. 10th St., include:
• Monday movie, noon.
• Story time, 10 a.m., Tuesday.
• Kids movie, 4 p.m., Wednesday.
• Book making workshop, 4 p.m., Thursday, learn about writing a story, editing, illustrating and binding.
• Super Hero Academy, 4-5:30 p.m., Tuesday in the children's department. Super stations open at 4 p.m. to get your official super hero name and earn your official super hero certificate.
• Teen Green: Grand opening of the new teen department, 4 p.m., April 10.
• Lego's League, all day, April 13 in the children's department.
Call 256-237-8501 for more information.
"Take Pride in Jacksonville" will be held at 8:30 a.m. April 13 at Jacksonville City Hall. The event is an opportunity for residents to spruce up their neighborhoods and their community. The Jacksonville-Piedmont landfill will be free from 7-11:30 a.m. for Jacksonville residents. Cub Scout Pack 19 will be at City Hall collecting aluminum cans. The event is sponsored by the City of Jacksonville, RSVP, Calhoun County Recycling Center, Calhoun County Beautification Board and County Commissioner Rudy Abbott. Call RSVP at 256-435-5091 for more information.
A Miss and Mr. Relay for Life beauty/talent pageant will be held April 13 at the Heflin Civic Center in Heflin. All proceeds will go to the American Cancer Society. The event is sponsored by East Heflin Relay for Life team. Call 256-463-2532, 256-236-3548 or email email@example.com for more information.
A benefit memorial concert will be held at 7:30 p.m. EST, April 13 at Copeland Hall, 100 Barr Ave., Bowdon, Ga. All proceeds will be used to benefit the Ranburne High School Athletic fund. Michael Tolcher and Bowdon native, Gareth Asher, will perform. Visit www.eventbrite.com and search Judy R. Turner concert in Bowdon, Ga., for tickets or more information.
Preview/registration for a Support Ministry, to aid in recovery of divorce, separation, or loss of a loved one due to death, will be 6:30 p.m. April 17 at Hill Crest Baptist Church. The classes will begin April 24 and will last 13 weeks. The cost will be $15 for the course workbook. Call 256-236-1464, if no one answers please leave your questions at extension 119.
The American Cancer Society's Road to Recovery program is in need of volunteer drivers in Calhoun County for cancer patients who need transportation to treatment. Training for prospective drivers will be held at 10 a.m. April 19 at Northeast Alabama Regional Medical Center, Physicians Center, Suite 403, 400 E. 10th St. Contact Alison Shirley, the Society's local staff partner, at 205-930-8884 or email firstname.lastname@example.com to volunteer or for more information.
Anniston author/speaker, Alice G. Duckett, will participate in the North Alabama Book Fair from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. April 20 at the First Baptist Church (Multi-Ministry building) in Albertville. Visit www.northalabamabookfair.weebly.com for more information.
The Youth Group of The Salvation Army of Anniston is running a local/national discount card fundraiser through May 1. The discount card offers specials at many local businesses as well as national chains. The proceeds will go towards the youth ministries and outreach programs for the Salvation Army of Anniston. Call Alphonso Hughes Jr. at 256-236-5643 for more information.
Upcoming trips with Doris Haas of Hokes Bluff include Savannah, Ga., May 6-10 and Niagara Falls and Toronto, Ontario, Canada, June 9-15. Call 256-492-3465 to register.

subset: commoncrawl


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100 Maryland places, attractions and landmarks [Pictures]
From the beaches of Ocean City in the east to the Appalachian Mountains in the west, from the rolling hills of My Lady's Manor (home to Maryland's steeplechase races) in the north to the tidewater marshlands of the Chesapeake Bay to the south -- Maryland has a little bit of everything. And we're not just talking geography, either. With attractions that run the gamut from the 17th-century Colonial settlement of St. Mary's City to the 21st-century wonders on display at the Maryland Science Center in Baltimore, Maryland offers its residents -- and visitors -- a wide variety of places to visit.
Think we're exaggerating? Take a look at these must-see 100 places to visit in Maryland.--Chris Kaltenbach
What's your favorite Maryland landmark or attraction? Tell us in the comments field below.
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Great outdoors: Brookside Gardens
Located in Wheaton Regional Park, Brookside is a 50-acre public display garden. Areas include an aquatic garden, a butterfly garden, a children's garden, a Japanese-style garden and a fragrance garden.
1800 Glenallan Ave., Wheaton


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- Print Magazine
- Digital Magazine
By Tom White
Bert Greeves began making motorcycles in 1951 and produced his first racing motorcycle in 1954. Total production output in 1954 was 14 motorcycles, but Bert upped that to 17 in 1955, only to dip back to 13 in 1956. It's not that Bert didn't take motorcycles seriously, but his fortune had been earned making wheelchairs and invalid cars. Motorcycles were a hobby.
But, they were soon to take on a more important role at the Essex, England, factory. Originally outfitted with a 197cc Villiers 20S engine that pumped out 15 horsepower, the iron barrel limited its potential. Greeves eventually produced their own aluminum cylinder and pushed the horsepower of the now 250cc Villiers engine up to 24 horsepower. After an unsuccessful attempt to use the new Villiers Starmaker engine, Greeves produced his own engine.
The Greeves Challenger engine was purpose-built for motocross from the ground up. By today's standards, it was crude. But with its aluminum barrel and head, 30mm Amal Monobloc, Alpha-made crankshaft, Steffa magneto, long-stroke (66mm bore x 72mm stroke) and newly developed expansion chamber, it was the fastest 250cc motocross engine made in the '60s.
Retailing for $920 in 1967, Greeves motorcycles were ridden to glory by British GP aces Brian Stonebridge, Alan Clough and Dave Bickers. The bikes were durable, rugged and popular with professional racers. Unfortunately, when Bert Greeves retired in 1973, the company went into a decline. A reorganization attempt in the mid-'70s failed, and Greeves faded from the scene.
The most important thing to look for in any vintage motorcycle is that it is in original condition. The machine could be a "rust bucket," but metal and paint finishes are easily applied. Finding 40-year-old parts is the challenge. Pay as much as $3000 for a good original core. A nicely restored example is worth about $8000.
Greeves only made a motocross model, but this would have been a good road race engine.
The Challenger had an aluminum I-Beam front frame down tube and a boxed swingarm. The Challenger was available with either Ceriani telescopic forks or Earles leading-link front forks (with Girling shocks). Both are equally collectible. Look for the original fiberglass tank and airbox, steel rims and one-inch steel handlebars. The standard carb is an Amal Monobloc on the earliest Challengers and a Concentric on the later examples.
Frank Conley in Carmel Valley, California, at www.greevesguru.com or (831) 659-4958.
For more info on classic bikes go to www.earlyyearsofmx.com
- Print Magazine
- Digital Magazine
ATV Action
WARNING: Much of the action depicted
in this magazine is potentially dangerous. Virtually all of the
riders seen in our photos are experienced experts or
professionals. Do not attempt to duplicate any stunts that are
beyond your own capabilities. Always wear the appropriate
safety gear.


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Friday, April 25, 2014
Helping Dealers Succeed!
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Music & Arts
See also: Books and Literature | Music on NCPR | Theatre Reviews
Artwork of the Day
"Gardener," oil on canvas. Artist: John Stanford. If you are interested in John's work ,you can reach him via email: email@example.com
Spring Haiku Challenge
The kanji character "haru" means spring. It's time again for the annual NCPR Spring Haiku challenge. Join the hundreds who have sniffed out the season of new growth and put it all into a very few words
Today's Arts Events
Art Exhibition: "Wonders of the Orient"
(April 3 to April 27, All Day) Featuring the fabric art of Colleen Morris-Wilson and the photographic art of Christopher Fawcett. Experience the beauty of Asia through fabric and the camera lens. Open daily: hours vary. For more information, visit Facebook or call 613-258-4400. Artscene, 11 Spencer Street,Spencerville,ON More info
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Cinema 10 Film: "The Wind Rises"
(April 21, 2014, 07:15 pm) This animated film for adults is the story of Jiro Horikoshi, creator of the Japanese kamikaze planes, told from the filmmaker's perspective of hope for a future with no battle planes. Film details: 2013, Japan, d. Hayao Miyazaki, 126 min, PG-13. Roxy Theater, 20 Main Street,Potsdam,NY More info
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Final Week of Peru Elementary Show Art Show
(April 21 to April 25, All Day) Work from students in kindergarten to 6th grade will be on display in the Peru Free Library. The exhibit closes Friday with a celebration which includes food, crafts, and fun. Public welcome. Contact the Library for details. Peru Free Library, 3024 Main Street,Peru,NY
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Monday Night Bluegrass
(Every Third Monday of the month, 07:00 pm - 10:00 pm) Bring an instrument, your voice, or just your ears. Tell your friends and family, Everyone is Welcome! Pickens Hall, 83 State Street Heuvelton NY,Heuvelton,NY
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Nature Tales Storytime for Preschoolers
(April 21, 2014, 11:00 am - 11:30 am) A fun-filled preschool program with stories, songs, and rhymes. Free. Ages 2-5 years. No preregistration, but groups/daycares should call ahead: 802-865-7216. Mondays: April 7, 14, 21 & 28, 11:00-11:30 a.m. Fletcher Free Library, 235 College Street,Burlington,VT More info
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Crane Student Composers Concert
(April 21, 2014, 07:30 pm) This performance will be held at SUNY Potsdam's Crane School of Music Sara Snell Music Theater. SUNY Potsdam: Sara Snell Music Theater, 44 Pierrepont Avenue,Potsdam,NY
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Arts & Culture
Apr 21, 2014 — Sunday night's episode capitalized at last on the show's notoriously ambivalent, slow-burning approach to paying any attention to race.
Apr 21, 2014 — Also: a poem by Michele Glazer; the best books coming out this week.
Apr 20, 2014 — It seems like a simple question: How many parts can you divide a line into? The troublesome answer was square at the root of two of Europe's greatest social crises.
Apr 20, 2014 — Sports movies seem to have made a strange turn from focusing on players to focusing on agents and managers. It makes for a sad progression from magical realism to yelling about money.
Apr 20, 2014 — NPR's Petra Mayer profiles YA author Ann Brashares, whose new book The Here and Now follows a young girl and her community who've escaped a terrible future via time travel and landed in our present.
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Supporters heading to tomorrow's Barclays Premier League game against Fulham at Stamford Bridge may find the following information useful.
On the London Underground, accessibility improvements have been made at 35 stations, with boarding ramps now in place at 19 more tube stations, on top of the 16 they were initially trialled at, ensuring 35 additional stations are now accessible for wheelchair users from platform to train.
The portable ramps are put in place by tube staff to allow wheelchair users to get on and off trains. They were first introduced at 16 stations during the 2012 Paralympics and proved so successful Transport for London decided to roll out them out further across the network.
The 19 new stations to have boarding ramps are: Caledonian Road, East Ham, Elm Park, Epping, Farringdon, Hainault, Hillingdon, Hounslow East, Kew gardens, Mile End, Richmond, Rickmansworth, Roding valley, South Woodford, Theydon Bois, Upney, Uxbridge, West Finchley and Wood Lane.
They were already in place at Hammersmith (H&C), King's Cross St. Pancras, West Ham, Westminster, Southfields, Wimbledon, Earl's Court, Fulham Broadway, Stratford, Woodford, Oxford Circus, Queen's Park, Edgware, Morden, Finchley Central and Stockwell. Two of these stations, Edgware and Finchley Central, have now got permanent raised platform sections. Denmark Hill and Crystal palace stations, served by London Overground, have also become fully step-free after the installation of lifts.
A short film explaining how the ramps work can be found here.
On the London Underground there is no service on the Bakerloo Line between Queen's Park and Harrow & Wealdstone, although a rail replacement bus service will be in operation.
On the Northern Line, meanwhile, there is no service between Angel and Chalk Farm/Highgate or between Euston and Chalk Farm/Highgate (via Mornington Crescent). Once again, a rail replacement bus service will be in operation.
There is also no service on the Central Line between Bethnal Green and Loughton/Hainault.
There is a good service predicted on all other lines, although we advise you to check your route prior to departure through Transport for London.
Supporters travelling to the game by car will be pleased to know there are no planned roadworks in and around the area of the stadium. However, we advise you to check your route prior to departure through either the AA or RAC websites.
If you are travelling to the match by car, please remember Chelsea's Liftshare Scheme, which allows those supporters with room in their vehicle to give a fellow Blue a lift to the game.
You can now receive travel news direct to your mobile or email address. Click here for more information.


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Bournemouth will benefit from Ancelotti debut
So Carlo Ancelotti's first match in charge of Real Madrid will be against . . . Bournemouth.
With all respect to the English club, not the most glamorous tie for the Italian to kick-off his new job with Los Blancos, but a relatively low-key one that may well be a precursor for how Ancelotti's time at the Bernabeu could pan out, certainly in relation to Jose Mourinho's. President Florentino Perez is wanting more calm at Madrid after the tornado approach from the Portuguese over the last three years, and this could be the perfect start for that at the 10,000-seater Goldsands Stadium July 21.
Bournemouth, known as the Cherries, have played most of their recent football in the third and fourth tiers of English football and last season won promotion to the Championship, the second tier. It's safe to say the visit of Madrid, with first team supposedly in tow, will be the highlight of their season, and a match that will live long in the club's history for years to come. Cristiano Ronaldo, Mesut Ozil, Iker Casillas all playing in their stadium. A real one-off, a match to remember. Bournemouth won't be making the Champions League anytime soon and probably won't be winning promotion to the Premier League, either.
It should be a momentous occasion for Bournemouth's loyal fans, albeit a relatively small band. It should be. Though the match, albeit still a massive coup for the the club, has hit the headlines for the wrong reasons over in England, with Bournemouth deciding to charge a whopping 60 pounds for adults and about half that for children. Season ticket holders get a five-pound discount. Yes, really.
First things first -- from a purely business point of view it's a massive day for the English club. Supply will not meet demand, not in a 10,000-seater with Madrid promising to send a strong squad. The match will sell out, even at the ridiculous prices the club is charging. It's a huge payday and will be Bournemouth's biggest for some time - possibly ever. A sellout could help the club fund new signings to keep them in the Championship next season. Madrid, the Cherries could say, helped them to do that.
On the other hand, and the one that should be taken more into consideration, the prices, for a preseason friendly, are absolutely appalling and a sign of the way football is going currently. Madrid don't even charge £60 for a lot of seats at the Bernabeu for big La Liga and Champions League games, and that's competitive football, not just a sub-standard friendly match.
The hardcore Bournemouth fans will go - an 'I was there when we played Real Madrid' moment, but it will price out other fans. Even if it doesn't, it could make it harder for them to get tickets with undoubted interest in watching Madrid from other teams around the Bournemouth area and beyond.
It's also a sign of the way clubs, no matter how big or small, are going in the current financial climate and with financial fair play kicking in. Preseason is no longer a time for rest and recuperation, it's a time for clubs to go on tour and make money. If they cannot be funded by wealthy backers anymore, they need to get out and sell, sell, sell. A trip to Bournemouth may come during a gap in Madrid's calendar and the club may well have demanded a large appearance fee, like they did at Leicester City a few years ago -- hence the high prices.
Madrid follow the Bournemouth friendly with clashes against Lyon, in France, and against Paris Saint-Germain in Sweden, of all places. A four-match tour of the United States, something that's now becoming an annual occurrence, follows before Los Blancos host Al Sadd, from Qatar, for the Bernabeu Trophy. While preparation on the pitch is crucial, it's clear pound, euro and dollar signs have been flashing before people's eyes when arranging these fixtures, and it's not just Madrid.
The south coast of England could well be the place Isco makes his Madrid debut, too, although Ancelotti may ease the playmaker back into action after his performances internationally over the summer. The former Malaga man was officially unveiled at the Bernabeu this week and will wear number 23, following on from David Beckham, Mesut Ozil (when he first joined the club) and Raphael van der Vaart. No pressure there, then.
The reason for my focus on the friendly matches, ridiculous pricing aside, is that transfer activity is cooling somewhat around the Bernabeu. Reports in Spain suggest Madrid have given up hope of signing Gareth Bale this summer and will instead wait another year to make their move, or make the Welshman force Tottenham's hand in letting him go.
Cristiano Ronaldo has also pledged his future to Madrid by insisting he's happy in Spain, although he'll always have Manchester United, and English football in his hearts. Aww. So that's two big transfer rumours that were threatening to take over the summer all-but dampened, then.
Asier Illarramendi, of Racing Santander, is the latest name grabbing the column inches. Ancelotti and Zinedine Zidane have apparently identified the 23-year-old as back-up for Xabi Alonso, and his eventual successor.
The youngster certainly falls in the same bracket as Alonso, with plenty of tactical nous, and an impressive season in helping to guide the San Sebastian club to the Champions League. A 30-million-euro release clause stands in Madrid's way, and it will be interesting to see if they are prepared to match that given the deal for Isco is reported to be paid over three installments.


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The National Wildlife Federation is partnering with NOAA's Great Lakes Habitat Restoration Program and EcoAdapt to include climate change in the design and implementation of Great Lakes restoration projects. Past use of the Great Lakes has degraded the ecosystem's water quality, biological diversity, and productivity. The Great Lakes Restoration Initiative is a major effort to restore the vitality of the Great Lakes.
NWF and our partners are making sure that Great Lakes restoration projects are climate-smart.
If restoration projects do not consider the impacts of climate change in the Great Lakes, they are less likely to endure over the long-term and be self-sustaining.
Learn more: Black River, Buffalo River, Clinton River Spillway, Crow Island, Maumee Bay, Muskegon Lake, St. Marys River
Project Partners: NOAA, National Wildlife Federation, EcoAdapt, Coldwater Consulting LLC, ARCADIS- US, Inc, City of Lorain, USFWS
This project designs the restoration of 1,200 to 1,600 linear feet of stream bank and 4 to 7 acres of riparian habitat along the Lower Black River. The site, located in a highly industrialized area, was previously part of a steel mill and is buried in slag (a by-product of steel production). Some areas along the river are contaminated and lack suitable aquatic habitat.
Restoration will involve grading, construction of in-stream habitat features and fish shelves and planting of native vegetation. The design will include consideration of how climate change impacts like heavier rainfall and more severe drought will affect water levels and stream flows. The project partners will conduct a climate change vulnerability assessment for riparian habitat on the site and will use assessment results to develop appropriate climate change response strategies. Designing the project to endure stream flows of increased magnitude and variability will enhance long-term restoration success and improve the quality of the aquatic ecosystem.
Results will be incorporated into other components of the local broad-scale restoration efforts that are proposed and underway. Additional partners in the broad-scale restoration include the Ohio EPA, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, Lorain County, Lorain Port Authority, Black River Remedial Action Plan, and the Lorain Growth Corporation. Funding sources include the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, and an Ohio EPA Supplemental Environmental Project.
Project partners: NOAA, NWF, EcoAdapt, Buffalo Niagara Riverkeeper, Buffalo Urban Development Corporation, and a host of local stakeholders.
This project covers the creation of design and engineering specifications for the restoration of 1,520 feet of shoreline along the Buffalo River, as well as 3.5 acres of upland and riparian habitat. The area formerly housed steel- and coke-making facilities that have left a legacy of contaminated sediment and large debris both on land and in the river. As the federally-designated Buffalo Remedial Action Plan coordinator, Buffalo Niagara Riverkeeper is developing this project in coordination with a suite of other in-river, shoreline, and upland restoration efforts, leveraging the value of individual projects to contribute to a healthy ecosystem.
Conceptual restoration methods and practices identified for this site include anchoring woody debris for in-water structure, stabilization, and enhancing sediment deposition on the shoreline; slope regrading to increase stability and expand shallow aquatic habitat; removing invasive plant species and shoreline debris; and enhancing tree cover. To succeed, shoreline and in-river efforts will need to account for both seasonal and year-to-year variability in water levels typical of the region and changes likely to result from climate change, such as a long-term drop in average water levels and an increase in heavy rain events. Selection of tree species for restoration will also consider future climate conditions, supporting the ability of the restoration site to thrive in the long term.
Project partners: NOAA, NWF, EcoAdapt, Macomb County Public Works Office, Hubbell, Roth, & Clark, Inc., Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, Michigan Department of Natural Resources, Clinton River Watershed Council.
This project will enhance aquatic habitat and associated recreational opportunities along the Clinton River Spillway in Macomb County, MI. The project site is 192 acres (including 130 upland acres) along the Clinton River in Mount Clemens and along the spillway as it travels towards the shore of Lake St. Clair. The spillway contains a 216-foot wide fixed crest concrete weir and downstream channel and was built by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in 1949 to alleviate flooding in up-river communities.
While the spillway has reduced flooding, it has also created environmental problems. These include blocked fish passage, excessive bank erosion and sedimentation, and encroachment of invasive species. Such problems are made worse by altered hydrology associated with upstream development as well as changing climatic conditions, including heavy downpours/runoff events and extreme low flows/warmer waters during droughts.
This project will improve habitat conditions for fish and benthic species by promoting regenerative ecological processes. To ensure project success despite current and future climate changes, project partners will assess the vulnerability of wildlife to changes in water flow and temperature and will consider climate change when identifying vegetation for habitat restoration. Partners will also identify and enhance opportunities for the site to provide refuge for wildlife from climate impacts.
Project partners: Ducks Unlimited (lead), Michigan Department of Natural Resources, NOAA, National Wildlife Federation.
The Crow Island State Game Area is a complex of wetlands and fields straddling the Saginaw River near Saginaw, MI . Historically, these marshes have been important waterfowl habitat, though much was degraded or lost to agriculture and other uses (e.g. fur farming) by the early 20th Century. Restoration efforts began when the state purchased the land in 1953 and today approximately 3,500 acres is managed by Michigan Department of Natural Resources. The area is popular for hunting, fishing, birding, and other activities and it is an important stopover site for migratory birds.
Restoration will occur on both the east and west sides of the river at the site and will focus on improving water level management to better address threats such as invasive plants and impacts of a changing climate. On the east side, this work is funding design work to install new culverts and replace a failing pump that is the sole source of water to 1,250 acres of wetlands . Project partners have also explored options for wetland enhancement on the west side of the river, where wetlands rely upon precipitation and Saginaw Bay and wind events pushing river water upstream for water. The potential for altered water supply with climate change (such as drier and wetter periods, and shifting of prevailing wind directions) has led to consideration of other options for more reliable water supply for the west side units, and consideration of design changes (e.g. in pump depth) for the east side.
Project partners: NOAA, NWF, The Nature Conservancy, Ducks Unlimited, USFWS, Ottawa National Wildlife Refuge
This project will restore 600 acres of wetland, forest, rivers and sedge meadow for one of the largest migratory landbird habitats in the country. The project site, which is adjacent to Lake Erie and the Ottawa National Wildlife Refuge, is currently fallow agricultural land. Many nutrients from fertilizers and pest control chemicals remain on and around the site, making it less desirable habitat for fish, birds and other wildlife. Restoration will create areas for fish passage, replant forests, rehabilitate wetlands and control harmful invasive species. The restored habitat will also provide places for visitors to view wildlife like the American black duck, blue-winged teal, king rail, wood thrust, and the Blanding's turtle.
Project partners are using a vulnerability assessment to determine how much climate change is affecting the site through heavier rainfall, warmer air temperatures, and other impacts. Partners are using this information to pick the types of trees to plant on the site and choose appropriate water control measures. Designing restoration projects to deal climate change will ensure long-term health and viability of the ecosystem.
Project partners: West Michigan Shoreline Regional Development Commission (lead), Annis Water Resources Institute at Grand Valley State University, NOAA's Great Lakes Environmental Research Laboratory, Great Lakes Commission, NWF
A new design and engineering project to restore habitat is taking shape in the Muskegon Lake (MI) Area of Concern (AOC), a 4,150 acre drowned river mouth lake connected to Lake Michigan. Though restoration efforts have been underway for several years, the area still faces several challenges, including loss of fish and wildlife habitat, degraded fish and wildlife populations, and, in the Bear Lake area, eutrophication (nutrient enrichment) and undesirable algae. Design and engineering efforts in the new project will be carried out for two sites. The first effort will remove debris at the Muskegon Lake Mill Debris Site, a shallow 40-acre littoral area along the southern portion of the lake containing significant debris, mainly sawmill slabwood and sawdust from historic operations (see first photo). Debris removal will contribute to broader restoration goals in the area, including restoring a mosaic of emergent and open water wetlands.
The second effort involves hydrologic connection and wetland restoration at a site upstream of Bear Lake, a moderate to highly eutrophic lake that feeds into Muskegon Lake. The 43-acre project site, formerly a celery farm, is now a degraded, diked wetland and portions of the area have been converted to shallow ponds (see second photo). The project will involve designing hydrologic reconnection of the wetland complex to Bear Creek and Bear Lake (through removal of over ½ mile of dike), with the goals of improving habitat and fish and wildlife connectivity. Sediment analysis of the wetlands for nutrients will help identify the potential for enhanced phosphorus loadings to the creek and lake following restoration. Preliminary discussions indicate that this second restoration effort will be vulnerable to climate change. More intense storm events and/or higher water levels could enhance phosphorus transport out of the restored wetland site. Factors like these will be considered in near-term monitoring and restoration design plans to increase the likelihood of meeting both fish and wildlife habitat and water quality restoration objectives.
Project partners: NOAA, NWF, EcoAdapt, Eastern U.P. Regional Planning & Development Commission, Lake Superior State University (LSSU), LSSU Aquatic Research Lab, Great Lakes Commission, Michigan Department of National Resources, St. Marys Bi-National Public Advisory Council, Chippewa/Ottawa Resource Authority (CORA), U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, URS Corporation
This project will complete all pre-construction tasks necessary for restoring the Little Rapids within the St. Marys River Area of Concern. Restoring the Little Rapids will enhance an important fishery in the Great Lakes by providing increased foraging, spawning, and nursery habitat for fish species such as trout, salmon, walleye, and whitefish. The river suffers from years of dredging, filling, and pollution, and the Little Rapids site is the only remaining historical rapids that can be reasonably restored.
The project has five main parts:
The Little Rapids project will look at the potential effects of climate change on the St. Marys River and, partnering with NWF, will make sure that the engineering design for the causeway modification takes into this into account. Once these phases of the project are completed, implementation could begin by spring 2013.
Learn more about:


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Barstow judokas win gold
BALDWIN PARK • On Oct. 28, four Barstow Judo students traveled to Baldwin Park to take part in the Mojica Fall Judo Tournament. All four students won places in the tournament.
Five-year-old Isaiah Ochoa finished in second place with the silver medal in the 5-year-old Boy's Lightweight Division. Six-year Ariyanna Avalos competed in two divisions and won the gold medal in both weight classes, finishing with four wins and no losses. Eleven-year old national champion Isaiah Ramirez made a clean sweep of his age and weight division, with three wins and no losses, to capture a gold medal. Twelve-year-old national champion Elizabeth Wright also won all of her matches with two wins and no losses to take the gold medal.
The Barstow judokas are trained by 8th Degree Black Belt holder Ernest Smith.


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Job Status: Full Time Location: Los Angeles, CA Benefits: Company paid medical and dental, holiday, and vacation Job Summary: Applicant will be responsible for supporting Autotask Customers, selling Autotask Add-on Products, driving internal account growth and managing day to day3/14/2014 Los Angeles, CA Save This Job
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Learning and studying are habits that were instilled in Weatherbee by his late parents, Cecil and Mabel Weatherbee. Cecil and Mabel would probably be proud of their only child to know that he's studied hard enough to become the grand master of the state, the highest honor in the Masonic Lodge. Cecil himself was a member of the Gadsden Lodge 236 in Gadsden.
Another relative, the younger Weatherbee's uncle, the late Clarence Edward Weatherbee, was past master of the Selma lodge and was the worthy grand patron of the Alabama Grand Chapter Eastern Star.
Weatherbee was elected deputy grand master at the grand lodge session in November. According to the constitution of the Grand Lodge of Alabama, the deputy grand master assumes the duties and responsibilities of the grand master upon his death. Grand Master Charles A. Booker, who Weatherbee calls a "dear friend and great Mason," died suddenly in February.
"I automatically assumed that title," said Weatherbee. "There was no action necessary. The constitution took care of that. I didn't have a choice in the matter."
Weatherbee said he doesn't get involved in the management of local lodges unless there's a serious problem.
"My responsibilities are like a corporate CEO, actually," he said. "We have a corporate board consisting of our grand officers. We are responsible for setting budgets, with the help of our finance committee, but all matters concerning fraternal decisions rest with the grand master.
Weatherbee will complete Booker's term in November. If the brethren of the lodge see fit, he will be elected to his own term and will remain in that position until November 2014.
He is expecting and hoping for that to happen. He's ready for it and is looking forward to it.
Weatherbee said the honor of serving as grand master is "the most exciting, rewarding, though often trying job in the world, simply because of the schedule."
He explained one of his hectic weeks.
"For instance, I'm leaving tomorrow to go to south Alabama, spend the night and be in Florala on Friday morning," he said. "I'll attend a banquet and participate in the crowning of the king and queen of the Masonic Day Festival. Friday night, I'll participate in a master mason degree at Florala Lodge, then Saturday, I'll install officers in several lodges down there, be the grand marshal of the parade, come back to Piedmont, change suitcases, and be on the airplane Sunday for a session of the Imperial Shrine International in Indianapolis."
Weatherbee is a member of several Masonic organizations, including the York Rite bodies in Anniston, the Scottish Rite Bodies, Valley of Birmingham; Zamora Shrine Center in Irondale and is the only emeritus director that temple has ever had.
He wrote the legislation for and designed the Shriners license plate. Sales of these plates have contributed nearly $1 million to the Shriners hospitals.
He is also a member of the Red Cross of Constantine which involves the York Rite of Masonry and is a Knight Commander of the Court of Honor in the Scottish Rite.
Weatherbee said if he's fortunate, he'll reach the 33rd highest degree in Masonry. That's what he's striving and hoping for.
Weatherbee is proud of his local lodge and is happy to call his these members as well as those across the state his friends.
"These guys are working for friendship and brotherly love," he said. "That's what Masonry is based on. We hand out scholarships to Piedmont High School and Spring Garden High School seniors. We help members of our fraternities, their widows and families if they're in dire straits."
Weatherbee gave a personal example.
"On March 1, our house burned," he said. "My daughter and I lost everything. Almost immediately, the spiritual, financial and fraternal assistance that came from the Masonic order and lodges across the state began arriving. The people of Piedmont and my church family were also generous, compassionate and wonderful."
Weatherbee is assistant treasurer and chairman of the usher committee at First United Methodist Church.
He has three children. His older son, Greg, is production manager for a firm that owns several newspapers in Ohio. Daughter Missie Weatherbee and her grandson, Mayson, live with her father and is plant manager of the Tennessee Alabama Manufacturing Plant in Piedmont. Scott is in a managerial position delivering propane gas containers. He and his wife, April, live in Piedmont. Weatherbee has five grandchildren and two great-great grandchildren.
Weatherbee's wife and business associate, the former Carol Harper, died in 2005.
Weatherbee was born and grew up in Gadsden. He graduated from Gadsden High in 1961, then attended Jacksonville State University and the University of Alabama. He was working as an insurance adjuster in Birmingham when his father, who had been police commissioner in Gadsden for a number of years, was named editor of The Piedmont Journal and asked him to leave that job and join him at the Journal.
Weatherbee joined his father in 1966.
After his father's death, Weatherbee and Carol ran the paper, with the help of secretaries through the years. The last secretary the Weatherbees employed was Betty Lawler, whom Weatherbee affectionately referred to as "Bob."
Weatherbee covered meetings, did all the photography, wrote stories, built the paper was the business manager and laid out the ads that Carol sold.
He said he missed Carol, who wasn't just his wife and friend, but felt her loss terribly at the paper. They had worked together side by side for more than 30 years.
"I worked there almost a year after her death," he said. "It just wasn't the same. And I'd had 40 years of it. I think that's a long enough career for anyone in any one place. I came to The Journal the last week of March in 1966 and left the last week of March in 2006."
After the fire, Weatherbee didn't rebuild at the site where his house burned. He bought another home in which he's living with his daughter, great-grandson, miniature schnauzers (Major and Beau), and a mixed breed, Atticus, who showed up one day.
He and Carol enjoyed traveling, often on their motorcycles, and cooking. These days, he's riding his Triumph Trophy 1200 cc sport-touring bike. "It's designed as a touring bike, but has saddle bags on it and handles like a dream," he said.
Weatherbee said retirement doesn't afford him the time to cook that he once had. He still enjoys it though and occasionally prepares meals for friends but said that, too, isn't the same without Carol.
Weatherbee is continuing to enjoy living in the town that he's called home for most of his life. He enjoys the friends that he and Carol made.
"I wouldn't take a million dollars for Piedmont and the people in it," he said. "Everyone here has been so good to my family and me."
Contact Margaret at email@example.com.


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University of Georgia Athletic Association is bringing back the popular "Tuesday Ticket Deal of the Week" - a discount offered every Tuesday for tickets to an upcoming home event.
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Despite all the hype for next-generation action games like Halo 3, BioShock and Call of Duty 4, it's the handheld puzzle games that seem to be coming out on top this year. 2007 has been a surprisingly good year for portable puzzlers, featuring solid titles like Practical Quotient 2, Crush, New York Times Crossword Puzzles, and my personal favorite game of the year, Puzzle Quest. You can add WordJong, Destineer's oddly addictive new puzzle game, to that list of great puzzle games.
WordJong is about as straight forward as a game comes, it's a simple idea that is spread across a number of interesting modes. Basically this is the lovechild of Scrabble and Mahjong, a combination that may not sound all that intriguing at first. The way it works is you will have to spell out words from a pile of letters scattered around the table. The longer the word the more points its worth, with the ultimate goal being you clearing the pile and earning a high score. It's a unique concept that is surprisingly simple and may even make you use words you normally wouldn't think about using.
Although it's always best to go into this type of game with a working knowledge of Mahjong, it's not essential when it comes to WordJong. All you have to know is that you can only use certain tiles and that you are trying to clear every single piece off of the board. As you spell out longer words you will unlock a number of items that will make your life a lot easier. For example, one of the items is a bomb which you can use to destroy unwanted letters. You will also have a wildcard that you can use at any time. And while not exactly bonus item, there are letters to look for that are worth more than others, that's the best way to rack up high scores.
The game is split up into a few different single- and multiplayer modes, each tackling the spelling challenge in a slightly different way. The most intriguing mode is the Daily Puzzle, which offers you one brand new puzzle for every day of the calendar. Like Brain Age and other edutainment games on the Nintendo DS, WordJong wants you to spend a few minutes of each day trying to clear a board and earn a high score. Best of all, this mode keeps track of your high scores and which days you've completed.
If you liked playing your daily puzzle and you still want more, then maybe you should check out some of the other single-player modes found in WordJong. One of these modes is the Temple Challenge, a campaign mode of sorts that is all about you earning high scores and becoming the ultimate WordJong player. This mode is actually a lot like the Daily Puzzle mode, only this time around you are earning experience points that will help you increase your rank level. Basically this mode is just an excuse to get you to play a bunch of puzzles in a row, which can be a real fun way to waste some time.
Perhaps the most exciting single-player mode is the battle mode, a competitive game of WordJong played against a computer opponent. This versus mode takes the best elements of the other modes (spelling large words for points) and mixes it with a fast-paced two-person game. In this Battle Mode you fight an opponent in a turn-based game where each person is trying to earn the most points before the tiles are all used up. Because of the speedy pace, this versus mode is actually the most entertaining thing about the game ... even if it is only me fighting a computer character. The good news is that you will be going up against a number of crazy animal characters as you earn gold coins and advance through the ranks.
As much fun as the computer opponents are, the game only gets better when you play it with a friend. For the most part the multiplayer mode works exactly like an extension of the Battle Mode, the two players take turns spelling words and earning points. The difference is in the delivery, since you can play both online and off. The offline game is fun, and if you can find somebody with a similar vocabulary it can be downright exciting. WordJong also offers you the ability to jump online and play games with other people. At least, that's the theory. While I'm sure this mode is a lot of fun, after several days of trying I could never find anybody to go play against. Perhaps it's only a matter of time before people start popping up online, but as of this writing it's barren online.
The graphics and gameplay are understandably simple. For the most part this is a game where all you are looking at and clicking on is differently labeled tiles. Thankfully the developers have opted to add pleasant nature themed backgrounds, so the game isn't nearly as boring looking as it probably sounds. That's not to say that the game isn't boring looking, because it is. But it gets the job done, and that's all you can really ask for with this type of game.
Like the graphics, the controls also get the job done. There's not a whole lot to the gameplay, but that's probably for the best. At most all you will be doing is using your stylus to click on the various letters and spell out words. Occasionally you'll have to push the back button or clear the board, but all that is accomplished with the touch screen. The gameplay is nothing revolutionary, but it's definitely easy to use.
If you can get behind the concept then this will be one of those Nintendo DS games you keep with you at all times, however those who aren't into spelling or Scrabble-like games will likely not be swayed by WordJong. Even if you're on the fence, the $20 price tag may make experimenting with this casual game a little easier to swallow. Either way, I had a lot of fun with WordJong and can see myself popping it into my DS to keep up with the daily puzzles.
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WordJong is a modest game, a simple puzzle game that does only one thing ... but does it very well. There's a lot to love in Destineer's newest portable puzzle game, including a fantastic multiplayer mode and daily puzzles. It's not for everybody, but if you like to spell then here is the game for you!
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On Monday, 08-06-2007 through Thursday, 08-09-2007 the Humboldt County Sheriff's Office eradicated the largest marijuana garden site in the history of Humboldt County. The marijuana garden sites were located in the Bear Creek drainage off United States Forest Service Route 1. This area is located approximately thirty-four miles south of Berry Summit off State Highway 299. The garden sites were located on Green Diamond Timber Company property and United States Forest Service property. Officers eradicated 134,082 marijuana plants that ranged in size from 1 foot to 3 feet in height. Officers located evidence in the garden sites that linked these marijuana gardens to a Mexican Drug Trafficking Organization. No suspects were located in the area of the gardens.At harvest time these marijuana plants would have a street value of approximately $469 million. C.A.M.P, United States Forest Service, Humboldt County Drug Task Force, Eureka Police Department, and the United States Coast Guard assisted the Sheriff's Office in this eradication effort.This case is still under investigation.
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Autoexpress comes in with some exciting confirmation from BMW M GmbH's new managing director Dr. Friedrich Nitschke – the M2 is in the works. But that's not all… a 'revolutionary' new M3 is in development and discussions are underway about a possible Lamborghini Aventador rival supercar!
The M2 will be based off BMW's F22 platform (Autoexpress uses 'F21′) and will be based on the upcoming 2-series / 2 series coupe (BMW has plans to rebadge its small coupe model as 2-series beginning the next generation) due in early 2014. Its looks will purportedly be instantly recognizable from the standard model with unique front and rear end styling (though most likely not as radical and unique as Autoexpress' renders). The M2 coupe would be expected sometime in 2014/2015.
Two … CONTINUED