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TimePlus Payroll is a supplier of high tech software services and products in the integrated payroll service and timekeeping industry.
|New in the Directory This Week
|New in the Directory This Week
|Time+Plus Payroll Services
|QuickBooks Pro 2012 W/QB Enhanced Payroll 2012
|QuickBooks Pro with Enhanced Payroll can quickly organize your business finances, show you where you stand and save you time paying employees.
|Computer Accounting with Peachtree by Sage Complete Accounting 2011
|Carol Yacht and Peachtree Software
|Carol Yacht's Peachtree textbook is the market leader because her pedagogy is unmatched—she incorporates real-world businesses; step-by step-directions; numerous screen illustrations; challenging exercises and projects; and a website with additional resources. In Computer Accounting with Peachtree by Sage Complete Accounting 2011, 15th Edition, you learn about the relationship between Peachtree software and fundamental accounting principles, procedures, and business processes. The primary goal is for the student to have a working familiarity with the software after completing the course with this text. Computer Accounting with Peachtree by Sage Complete Accounting 2011, 15th Edition, teaches you how to use Peachtree Complete Accounting 2011 software. For more than 35 years , Peachtree by Sage has produced award-winning accounting software. Over 6.2 million customers use Sage software products. More than 13,000 employees work for Sage (http://sage.com/ourbusiness/aboutus). The Sage family of software products, which includes Peachtree Complete Accounting, is the leading global supplier of business management solutions and services. For more information about Sage's worldwide community, refer to page xxxii. In the United States and Canada, Peachtree is used by more than 3.1 million businesses. Each year, tens of thousands of customers choose accountant-recommended Peachtree by Sage for their business needs. Why? Because Peachtree helps you do more to support the success of your business. Industries that use Peachtree include retail stores, healthcare, human resources/payroll, construction/real estate, transport/distribution, payment processing, not-for-profit, manufacturing, public utilities, legal, medical, and accounting firms.
|QuickBooks 2012 QuickSteps (Quick Guides)
|Thomas Barich
|Start using QuickBooks 2012 right away--the QuickSteps way. Color screenshots and clear instructions make it easy to ramp up on the latest release of the leading small business financial software. Follow along and learn how to customize bookkeeping, process invoices, manage payroll, track inventory, run reports, and much more. You'll also learn how to use the new and improved features, such as the new calendar, the batch worksheet function, and the Lead Center. Get up to speed on QuickBooks 2012 in no time with help from this practical, fast-paced guide. Use these handy guideposts: Shortcuts for accomplishing common tasks Need-to-know facts in concise narrative Helpful reminders or alternate ways of doing things Bonus information related to the topic being covered Errors and pitfalls to avoid Thomas E. Barich, a QuickBooks consultant, has been using QuickBooks software for more than a decade. He is the author of QuickBooks 2011 QuickSteps and technical editor of QuickBooks 2011: The Official Guide.
|QuickBooks 2012 For Dummies
|Stephen L. Nelson
|QuickBooks "X" For Dummies is a big help for small businessesMost businesses can't afford a Big Four accounting firm to handle their books. That's why so many small-to-mid-size businesspeople turn to QuickBooks to help them keep track of their finances. Bestselling author Stephen Nelson returns with updated coverage of the latest revisions and enhancements to the leading small business accounting software package. After a quick review of bookkeeping basics, you'll discover how QuickBooks can help you build the perfect budget, process payroll, simplify your tax return prep work, create invoices, manage inventory, generate income statements, balance accounts, and much more.You'll learn what you should do before you install and set up QuickBooks, then move onto basic bookkeeping concepts and the fundamentals of building a solid budget. You'll also discover how to enter data, create invoices, and record and print sales receipts; keep track of your inventory, payroll, and budgets; monitor your job costs; and generate the most common financial reports with ease.Veteran author Stephen Nelson updates his perennial bestseller and offers you easy-to-understand coverage of the newest release of QuickBooksEnables you to take control of managing your own business accounting and financial management tasks so you can avoid having to hire expensive outside helpProvides expert advice for getting started with QuickBooks, building the perfect budget, processing payroll, creating invoices, managing inventory, tracking job costs, generating income statements, balancing accounts, creating financial reports, and moreQuickBooks "X" For Dummies helps you handle your financial management tasks more effectively so that you can get down to business!
|The Small Business Survival Guide, 3rd Ed. (The Small Business Sourcebooks)
|The Small Business Survival Guide has improved the navigational skills of many small businesses, and it can do the same for you. It combines taxes, accounting, profitability analysis, cash management and risk management into a practical, easily understood presentation. Using the innovative concept of "No-Entry Accounting," you will learn how to effectively and economically prepare for taxes, anticipate financial needs and understand that gray area between you and your accountant. --Avoid "cash traps" that cause businesses to fail--Simplify your record-keeping--Interpret your financial information accurately--Plan for payroll and payroll tax filings--Learn how to value your business
|Learn QuickBooks Pro 2012 Training Video Tutorial DVD
|Ideal for the home-based business or anyone looking to enhance their finance management and accounting skills, the Learn Quickbooks Pro 2012 training DVD provides 4.5 full hours of expert quality training videos. Your instructor will guide you through the numerous features of the powerful accounting software, Quickbooks. We'll show you how to setup QuickBooks Pro 2012 for the first time, use payroll, create reports, pay bills, working with estimates, using inventory, receive payments, and much more. Each Simon Sez IT DVD offers hours of expert quality training movies for every level of computer experience. Each training video is recorded in high-resolution, providing picture-perfect quality. Follow along on your own computer as you watch and learn from the trainers' narrated instructions and movements. This self-paced learning environment allows for stress-free learning in the comfort of your own home or office. Play, pause, rewind and repeat as often as you like.
|Democratizing Innovation
|Eric von Hippel
|Innovation is rapidly becoming democratized. Users, aided by improvements in computer and communications technology, increasingly can develop their own new products and services. These innovating users—both individuals and firms—often freely share their innovations with others, creating user-innovation communities and a rich intellectual commons. In Democratizing Innovation, Eric von Hippel looks closely at this emerging system of user-centered innovation. He explains why and when users find it profitable to develop new products and services for themselves, and why it often pays users to reveal their innovations freely for the use of all. The trend toward democratized innovation can be seen in software and information products—most notably in the free and open-source software movement—but also in physical products. Von Hippel's many examples of user innovation in action range from surgical equipment to surfboards to software security features. He shows that product and service development is concentrated among "lead users," who are ahead on marketplace trends and whose innovations are often commercially attractive. Von Hippel argues that manufacturers should redesign their innovation processes and that they should systematically seek out innovations developed by users. He points to businesses—the custom semiconductor industry is one example—that have learned to assist user-innovators by providing them with toolkits for developing new products. User innovation has a positive impact on social welfare, and von Hippel proposes that government policies, including R&D subsidies and tax credits, should be realigned to eliminate biases against it. The goal of a democratized user-centered innovation system, says von Hippel, is well worth striving for. An electronic version of this book is available under a Creative Commons license.
|The Marketing Agency Blueprint: The Handbook for Building Hybrid PR, SEO, Content, Advertising, and Web Firms
|Paul Roetzer
|Build a disruptive marketing agency for the modern ageThe marketing services industry is on the cusp of a truly transformational period. The old guard, rooted in tradition and resistant to change, will fall and new leaders will emerge. Hybrid marketing agencies that are more nimble, tech savvy, and collaborative will redefine the industry. Digital services will be engrained into the DNA and blended with traditional methods for integrated campaigns. The depth, versatility, and drive of their talent will be the cornerstones of organizations that pursue a higher purpose. The Marketing Agency Blueprint is a practical and candid guide that presents ten rules for building such a hybrid agency.The new marketing agency model will create and nurture diverse recurring revenue streams through a mix of services, consulting, training, education, publishing, and software sales. It will use efficiency and productivity, not billable hours, as the essential drivers of profitability. Its value and success will be measured by outcomes, not outputs. Its strength and stability will depend on a willingness to be in a perpetual state of change, and an ability to execute and adapt faster than competitors. The Marketing Agency Blueprint demonstrates how to:Generate more qualified leads, win clients with set pricing and service packages, and secure more long-term retainersDevelop highly efficient management systems and more effective account teamsDeliver greater results and value to clientsThis is the future of the marketing services industry. A future defined and led by underdogs and innovators. You have the opportunity to be at the forefront of the transformation.
|The Business of Software: What Every Manager, Programmer, and Entrepreneur Must Know to Thrive and Survive in Good Times and Bad
|Michael A. Cusumano
|The world's leading expert on the global software industry and coauthor of the bestseller Microsoft Secrets reveals the inner workings of software giants like IBM, Microsoft, and Netscape and shows what it takes to create, develop, and manage a successful company -- in good times and bad -- in the most fiercely competitive business in the world. In the $600 billion software industry it is the business, not the technology, that determines success or failure. This fact -- one that thousands of once glamorous start-ups have unhappily discovered for themselves -- is the well-documented conclusion of this enormously readable and revealing new book by Michael Cusumano, based on nearly twenty years of research and consulting with software producers around the world. Cusumano builds on dozens of personal experiences and case studies to show how issues of strategy and organization are irrevocably linked with those of managing the technology and demonstrates that a thorough understanding of these issues is vital to success. At the heart of the book Cusumano poses seven questions that underpin a three-pronged management framework. He argues that companies must adopt one of three basic business models: become a products company at one end of the strategic spectrum, a services company at the other end, or a hybrid solutions company in between. The author describes the characteristics of the different models, evaluates their strengths and weaknesses, and shows how each is more or less appropriate for different stages in the evolution of a business as well as in good versus bad economic times. Readers will also find invaluable Cusumano's treatment of software development issues ranging from architecture and teams to project management and testing, as well as two chapters devoted to what it takes to create a successful software start-up. Highlights include eight fundamental guidelines for evaluating potential software winners and Cusumano's probing analysis, based on firsthand knowledge, of ten start-ups that have met with varying degrees of success. The Business of Software is timely essential reading for managers, programmers, entrepreneurs, and others who follow the global software industry.
|Frank E. Jersey
|The book is about the life cycle of a computer software company from inception to eventual sale. Software is a book reflecting on the experiences of the author as he founded, managed and sold a computer software and services firm. Real management situations are highlighted and addressed. The subject matter addressed and questions presented throughout the book privide all entrepreneurs and managers insight into their respective companies and should better position them for their own IPO, ongoing management or acquisition.
695 Mansell Rd
Ste 250 Ste 250
Roswell, GA 30076
|Business Opportunity


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The Assignment Saving Lives Bursary Program (ASL) is a recruitment program that encourages Grade 11 and 12 and post-secondary students to recruit blood donors during the summer months – a time of year that traditionally results in lower than required blood donations throughout the country. Students who recruit the required number of donors have a chance to win a bursary to help pay for their tuition.
In 2013, the program is being run in the following sites. Please get in touch with the contacts below for more information and program regulations:

subset: commoncrawl


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Inside Twitter Outage | MS Surface Tablet: 10 Coolest Features
Secret Spy Satellite Takes Off: Stunning Images
The National Reconnaissance Office provides satellite imagery for intelligence operations and national defense. Here's a look at the agency's most recent rocket launches.
Microsoft Surface Too Pricey For Consumers?
Office 15 bundling, plus Microsoft's desire not to undercut its PC-making partners, could limit Surface tablets to market's high end, NPD analyst says.
Windows Phone 8: Ready For Business?
Windows Phone 8 has five important new elements for enterprises. But simply compare Windows Phone 8 to iOS and Android and you'll miss Microsoft's larger goal.
Microsoft Surface: Enterprise Tablet Market Isn't Enough
Windows 8 tablets will need to take off with consumers before CIOs will embrace them. Here's why.
8 Things Tablets Still Can't Do
Have we really entered a post-PC world? The new Apple iPad and its tablet rivals still come up short on a few important measures.
Virtual Event: Big Data Analytics
At our interactive InformationWeek Virtual Event, experts and solution providers will offer detailed insight into how to put big data to use in ad hoc analyses, what-if scenario planning, customer sentiment analysis, and the building of highly accurate data models to drive better predictions about fraud, risk, and customer behavior.
It happens June 28
InformationWeek 2012 State Of IT Outsourcing
InformationWeek is conducting a survey on the state of IT outsourcing. Upon completion of our survey, you will be eligible to enter a drawing to receive a 16-GB Apple iPad.
Survey ends June 22
Comment |
Print |
More Insights
White Papers
Oldest First | Newest First | Threaded View
Archived Audio Interviews
Jeremy Schulman, founder of Schprockits, a network automation startup operating in stealth mode, joins us to explore whether networking professionals all need to learn programming in order to remain employed.
2014 State of Unified Communications If you thought consumerization killed UC, think again: 70% of our 488 respondents have or plan to put systems in place. Of those, 34% will roll UC out to 76% or more of their user base. And theres some good news for UCaaS providers.
6 UC Trends to Watch InformationWeeks 2014 Unified Communications Survey shows a revitalized market; 77% of 488 respondents have deployed UC or plan to within 24 months. Among those deploying or with plans, internal IT owns this tech: 40% will keep UC completely on premises vs. 3% going all cloud. For hybrid setups, 24% are primarily on premises vs. 17% mostly cloud.


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Thank you. Your apps will not be forgotten, young Grasshopper.
It was an honour teaching you the ways of Code Kwondo. The journey can be hard but every step takes you closer to mastery.
Sharpen your skills for next year.
This program will be back in 2015 with more challenges and bigger rewards. To receive a notification when program registration is open and to sign up for other Microsoft communications please click here.
And don't forget to claim your
rewards before June 16th.


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In London, Samsung won a ruling against Apple who filed a patent lawsuit on the Galaxy Tab for copy the design and technology of the Ipad. Judge Colin Birss ruled in favor of Samsung, saying the Galaxy Tablet is not as "cool" as the Ipad.
"The (Galaxy Tab) do not have the same understated and extreme simplicity which is possessed by the Apple design," explained Birss.
The ruling marks a victory for the Korean electronics company who has seen its smartphones challenging Apple with its Android-based gadgets. The fierce competition for smartphone supremacy has seen both firms file lawsuits on one another on the basis of "infringement" of design rights.
Read more about the court ruling in favor of Samsung
Tech Inventory recommended reads
Apple, has done its fair share of suing others. Currently Samsung Electronics Comp., Ltd.'s (KSC:005930) Galaxy Nexus smartphone and Galaxy Tab 10.1 tablet are banned in the U.S., thanks to its efforts. But in China it was Apple this week who was forced to pay up after a lawsuit loss.
Tech Inventory recommended reads
Check out the top applications from the App Store for the iPhone and iPad.


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Meeting Room schedule information is no longer being posted. Please contact Library staff for information about events scheduled in our meeting rooms.
Posts tagged as community rooms
Meeting Room Schedules
February 26, 2014 by Webmaster
Tagged in: rooms, room, meeting room, meeting rooms, community room, community rooms, facilities,
Comments: 0
Meeting Rooms
February 26, 2014 by Webmaster
Library programming is an important aspect of the Library's service to the community; therefore, Library needs will take precedence over public use of the meeting areas. The Library reserves the right to cancel reservations for meeting rooms if the space is needed for library activities.
Please contact Library staff for information about events scheduled in our meeting rooms.General Information
Who can use the meeting rooms?
Meeting rooms may be used by local groups and organizations for educational, civic, and cultural purposes. Meeting rooms are open to all groups in the community regardless of the beliefs and affiliations of their members. The meeting rooms may be used when one individual tutors another in literacy skills.
To arrange a meeting
Contact the Administration Office at Bennett Martin Library (402-441-8503) to book a meeting or obtain information about the meeting rooms. Library-sponsored events have first priority for use of library facilities. Advance scheduling and approval by the library is required. At least five business days prior to the event, one completed copy of the application is to be returned to the library's Administrative Office along with payment for the applicable fees. Applications must be approved by the library, the booking confirmed, and all fees paid before the group can use the meeting room. Bookings may be made up to one year in advance for non-profit groups and up to thirty days in advance for for-profit groups.
Both online and printable (PDF) versions of the application form are available.
To cancel a meeting
Groups cancelling a meeting booking must report the cancellation to the Administration Office (402-441-8503). The application form signed by the group representative constitutes an agreement that a meeting will take place. If a meeting is cancelled, the library must be notified as soon as possible so the space is available to others. If the group has paid a fee, the fee is forfeited if the cancellation occurs five business days or less from the meeting date.
Light refreshments (snacks) may be served by a group. Meals may not be served. Beverages may be served. Groups must provide their own coffee makers, cups, and any other equipment or supplies. Groups are expected to leave the room clean for the next users. Alcohol and smoking are not permitted in the library.
Library Furnishings and Equipment
All meeting rooms are supplied with chairs and tables. Setting up and taking down folding tables and stacking chairs is the responsibility of the group using the room. The meeting room must be left in good condition. The person who signs the facility use agreement is held responsible for damages or cleanup requiring custodial service. The library does not assume responsibility for damaged, lost or stolen property of users of the meeting rooms. Library equipment must be reserved in advance. The group must provide supplies such as marker pens, flip chart paper, etc. WiFi access is generally available but cannot be guaranteed.
Equipment Storage
Storage is not provided for equipment owned by groups using the meeting rooms. Groups using their own equipment must remove that equipment after each meeting.
Fees and Fines
There is no fee for government agencies or non-profit groups for use of the meeting rooms during regular service hours of the library building in which the room is located. All other groups may reserve meeting rooms for a fee of $10.00 per hour or fraction thereof.
All meeting rooms must be cleared and attendees must be out of the building by closing time. Users violating this policy will be assessed a charge to compensate for staff overtime. The group will be held accountable for damages to the room or equipment. Repair and/or replacement costs associated with any such damage will be charged to the person who signs the facility use agreement.
Meeting Room Locations and Capacities
Bennett Martin Public Library
14th & N Streets
Auditorium (4th floor):Anderson Branch
100 - Theater style
60 - Tables and Chairs
Conference Room (4th floor):
39 – Theater style
36 - Tables and Chairs
Fremont & Touzalin
Meeting Room:Eiseley Branch
60 – Theater style
42 - Tables and Chairs
1530 Superior Street
Room 1:Gere Branch
70 – Theater Style
56 – Tables and Chairs
Room 2:
40 – Theater Style
38 – Tables and Chairs
Rooms 1 & 2 Combined:
100 – Theater Style
94 – Tables and Chairs
56th & Normal
Room 1:Walt Branch
70 – Theater Style
42 – Tables and Chairs
Room 2:
40 – Theater style
18 – Tables and Chairs
Rooms 1 & 2 Combined:
120 – Theater Style
60 – Tables and Chairs
6701 South 14th Street
Room 1:
70 – Theater Style
56 – Tables and Chairs
Room 2:
40 – Theater Style
38 – Tables and Chairs
Rooms 1 & 2 Combined:
100 – Theater Style
94 – Tables and Chairs
Tagged in: rooms, room, meeting room, meeting rooms, community room, community rooms, facilities,
Comments: 0
Meeting Room Application
August 21, 2013 by Webmaster
Submission of this form signifies that you have read the rules and agree to abide by those rules for use of the library's meeting rooms and understand that you are responsible for any fees and loss of or damage to facility/equipment.
A printable (PDF) version of this form is also available.
*An asterisk indicates information that is required.
Tagged in: community rooms, meeting rooms, meeting facilities,
Comments: 0
Meeting Room Rules
June 18, 2010 by Webmaster
If you agree to the following rules of use, please continue to the Meeting Room Application Form.
All meetings conducted by groups using meeting rooms for activities not related or sponsored by Lincoln City Libraries shall observe the following rules and such other rules as may be adopted by the Library Board from time to time and published. The library reserves the right to deny the use of the meeting rooms to any party not complying with the rules in effect at the time of request or violation. The library reserves the right to interrupt or cancel any meeting that interferes with routine library operations.
- Groups must be authorized to use library meeting rooms by the Library Director via completion of meeting room application form. The person responsible for the meeting and signing the use form must have a valid Lincoln City Libraries card in good standing.
- Groups authorized to use library meeting rooms must provide information and program services to all persons without regard to race, age, color, national origin, religion, gender, or physical challenges.
- Meetings must be open to the public. Public attendance cannot be restricted through tuition or admission/registration fees. Libraries and their associated organizations may use the meeting rooms for training and may charge a fee to recoup expenses.
- Use of the meeting rooms for political campaigning is not permitted.
- Meetings involving the sale, advertisement or promotion of commercial products or services or the solicitation for the future sale of commercial products, are prohibited.
- Fundraising events or solicitation of any kind are not permitted unless sponsored by the Foundation for Lincoln City Libraries.
- All users of the meeting rooms must conduct themselves in an orderly manner and observe Library Rules & Behavior Policy.
- Approval to use library meeting rooms is not transferable to another person or group
- Groups must not exceed the legal posted capacity of the meeting room as determined by the Bureau of Fire Prevention.
- Meetings need to end soon enough to ensure that rooms are vacated prior to the time that the library closes to the public. A fee will be assessed if the room is not vacated prior to closing time.
- No user of the meeting room is to imply in any way or represent that their activity is sponsored by Lincoln City Libraries. No publicity in connection with any meeting to be held at the Library is to make reference to the Library except to designate meeting location.
Tagged in: community rooms, meeting rooms, meeting facilities,
Comments: 0
Previous Entries


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Andy and Sonia's Wedding (Jayesslee)
Sonia and Andy are married! After a week of heavy rain, God answered many prayers and the sun came out like a miracle! The weather was perfect and the whole day was a testimony of God's faithfulness. We have been eagerly waiting to share the news with you all. We hope you enjoy the video and feel a part of the day because if we could, we would have loved for you guys
Our Wedding Video
On August 22, 2009 in front of 100 of our closest friends and family, Gary and I got married. It was a perfect day. After posting our Disney engagement video, I thought it was only appropriate to share this with you all. I hope you like
Stylish & Modern Wedding Video – Melanie & Mike's Vancouver Wedding
Why get married on a Wednesday? It's a question that brings us into the world of Melanie and Mike's beautiful Vancouver wedding. We didn't know until we were at the video/photo shoot, but Melanie and Mike had some super sick dance moves, which they couldn't wait to show our cameras. All the bridesmaids and groomsmen had to turn their back, and wait until the first
2013 Enzoani Fashion Event
The Seventh Annual Enzoani Fashion Event held at the Lyon Air Museum in Orange County, CA on June 3, 2013 took hold of over 500 guests from around the world! Over 100 gowns from the Enzoani collections- Enzoani, Blue by Enzoani, Beautiful and Love by Enzoani- strutted down the runway past the massive wings of a vintage B-17 and DC-3, not to mention a hangar


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Locations and Hours
290 International Circle
San José, CA 95119
- Holiday Closures
Manager -
Joan Bowlby
Account Question? - Email email@example.com
Summer doldrums getting you down? Feeling antsy? Just been kicked out of your house for "accidently" setting the curtains on fire? Are you just in the mood to build something cool?
The library's Maker Camp is just the thing for you!
With help from Google and MAKE Magazine, we will be transforming the Educational Park Branch into a makerspace. Every Monday through Thursday from 11:00 am - 12:00 pm, the library will virtually host some of the most interesting professional creators behind the scenes of game design, movies, and music. On Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12:00 pm -1:00 pm, they'll have the opportunity to create their own maker projects.
Each week will have a different theme, with speakers and projects that will build upon it.
Week 1—Makers in Motion (July 7-11, 2014)
Week 2 —Art and Design (July 14-18, 2014)
Week 3—Fun & Games (July 21-25, 2014)
Week 4—Science & Technology (July 28-August 1, 2014)
Week 5—DIY Music (August 4-8, 2014)
Week 6—Make: Believe (August 11-15, 2014)
The event is free for all but children under 13 will need a parent or guardian with them to use Google+ or participate in the project. Check out last year's events to get an idea of what we'll be doing this year. And check out http://makercamp.com/ for more information.
Spaces are limited so sign up now. Contact the Educational Park Library at 1-408-808-3073 to get your name on the list.
Program Schedule
Mondays - 11:00 - 12:00 Virtual Maker Meeting (Watch a live broadcast featuring a different Maker)
Tuesdays - 11:00 - 12:00 Virtual Maker Meeting | *12:00 - 1:00 pm Hands-on activity
Wednesdays - 11:00 - 12:00 Virtual Maker Meeting
Thursdays - 11:00 - 12:00 Virtual Maker Meeting | *12:00 - 1:00 pm Hands-on activity
*Participants are encouraged to view the video broadcast at 11 a.m. to get a preview of that day's activity
Recommended for ages 13-18
Participants under 13 must have a parent/guardian present
This Friday, June 6, 2014, Hicklebees's will be having multiple YA authors visiting their bookstore! It's the Terrific Author Bash! Bay Area favorites such as:
Hannah Jayne - Author of Truly, Madly, Deadly
Katherine Longshore - Author of Tarnish, Manor of Secrets, and Gilt
Stephanie Kuehn - Author of Charm & Strange and Complicit
Corrine Jackson - Author of Touched (Sense Thieves series) and If I Lie
Debra Driza - Author of Mila 2.0 and Renegade
Talia Vance - Author of Silver and Spies and Prejudice
and SJPL's very own Douglas Rees - Author of Juliet Spell and the Vampire High series
Join us for food, prizes, and of course, all the amazing YA Authors!
1378 Lincoln Ave
San Jose, CA 95125
(408) 292-8880
Saturday, May 17, 2014
10:00 am - 4:00 pm
Happy Hollow Park and Zoo
1300 Senter Road, San Jose
Join us on Saturday May 17th for Kristi Yamaguchi's second annual Reading Adventures at Happy Hollow Park & Zoo. Joining Kristi to read their favorite childhood books are celebrity authors and athletes like Bob Barner and Dave Keane. While there, experience the zoo's amazing animal education exhibits and take part in the many literacy-themed stations, including the SJPL table for zoo animal bookmarks! Entertainment will be provided by Disney Jr.'s Choo Choo Soul "with Genevieve!"
All activities are included in the regular park admission rates. For more information, visit:


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The sheriff's office Marine Patrol Unit found a 31-foot sailboat whose captain issued a distress call early Friday morning.
Deputies say the boat was 10 miles off Englewood's Stump Pass when they found it around 7:35 a.m.
The captain, who was alone on the vessel, called for help about an hour earlier, telling the Coast Guard his boat was taking on water, had lost power and had a dead battery.
The Marine Patrol Unit began towing the boat in, through waves of four- to five-feet.
A Coast Guard crew arrived from St. Petersburg and took over control of the scene. Deputies made sure the boat go to the Gasparilla Marina for repairs.
The man was not injured. Deputies say he was from the New Orleans area and had rented the vessel in St. Petersburg.
3719 Central AvenueFort Myers, FL 33901Main Phone: (239) 939-2020Newsroom Phone: (239) 939-6223


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Each season, the Edmonton Oilers send a fresh group of young people into pro hockey. Some are good enough to make the NHL right away, others start in the AHL and still others begin their careers in the ECHL. How are the kids doing so far?
Oilers pro and amateur scouts need to supply pro hockey with a Convoy of prospects every year. Although many will not reach NHL regular status, each of them will get enough at-bats in pro hockey to prove or disprove their worth at the highest levels of hockey. Here are the NHL and AHL kids, with comments from OKC coach Todd Nelson sprinkled in.
- Ryan Nugent-Hopkins: Teenage powerplay God is a strong Calder candidate and the only thing that has tripped him up is a blueline and 5×5 play in the NHL. A splendid season.
- Anton Lander: He has played pro hockey in Sweden, but his NA debut is in the NHL. Although he is offensively challenged, you can see why the coaching staff likes him. Has some gumption and Oilers clearly believe he'll be a big part of the future.
- Lennart Petrell: Older rookie stayed with the big club for the first half before being relegated. Quality PK man but his 5×5 difficulties eventually got him sent away.
- Hunter Tremblay: Leads Edmonton's AHL newcomers in points (39, 6-9-15) and his coach likes him a lot. Three shorthanded goals. Tremblay is developing good pro habits according to coach Todd Nelson.
- Tanner House: Solid offense (37, 4-7-11). Coach Nelson feels he has three centermen (O'Marra, VandeVelde and House) who can play against anyone in the AHL. Dependable, good 2-way guy and important on the PK. Nelson says the big item for House is to deliver quality consistently.
- Tyler Pitlick: Getting playing time at center and learning how to use his physical ability to impact the game. 33, 4-5-9 but with 2PP goals and a lot of encouraging verbal reporting pertaining to hard work and effort. Coach Nelson says he is playing very well away from the puck and in his own end.
- Curtis Hamilton: 31, 3-5-8 and has shown flashes in his first pro season but is well off expectations based on last season's WHL stats. Coach Nelson suggests "it's going to take time" and feels Hamilton can help on PK and PP and he is getting time in both disciplines. He also said that at the beginning of the year Hamilton wasn't winning many puck battles but that he has improved a lot in that area during the season.
- Antti Tyrvainein: 20, 2-5-7 he has had some injury issues but has also shown some ability in a few areas. I'm not sure the Oilers know what they have, but if he can stay healthy in the second half we may have a better view.
- Ryan Lowery: College defender has been a very good addition. Oilers did a few things this past fall in an effort to improve their quality and quantity on D and Lowery (26, 1-6-7) has worked out well so far. Lowery has been bitten by the injury bug.
- Kirill Tulupov: Big Russian best known for knocking Ben Eager senseless in the pre-season, he's big and tough and one imagines the Oilers will find room to sign him over the summer. Has had an injury issue this season.
- Cameron Abney: Big enforcer is watching his role dry up in the NHL but should find a regular home in the AHL next season. 6, 0-0-0 in the AHL.


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Tortillaland® Uncooked Flour Tortillas - 36 ct
Item #: 933055 | (3) |
Tortillaland allows you to bake this homemade flour tortilla for the first time, "Ready to bake in Seconds!". Uncooked Tortillaland flour tortillas are the result of a new and unique concept in home cooking. Enjoy the flavor, texture and freshness that can only be achieved through a homemade product.
Ask & Answer
Warranty InformationThis product is covered by the Sam's Club Member Satisfaction Guarantee.
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This week, a cosmic event happens which will not be seen for another 100,000 years.
A comet named Pan-STARRS will appear in the night sky. It's only visible for about a thirty-minute window.
NBC2 answered the Good Question on the minds of sky watchers worldwide:
"When and where do I look if I want to see the comet?"
In Southwest Florida, no two twilights look the same. This memorable moment comes after the sun takes a bow.
It's a first time visitor from deep space and is made up of rocks, ice, and minerals.
I took our cosmic Good Question to the planetarium astronomer for the Calusa Nature Center.
"Conditions have to be right. No clouds. No haze. Nothing," said Carol Stewart.
Stewart said the comet will only be visible for about an hour after the sun goes down. That means between 8 and 8:30 p.m. should be the best time frame for viewing.
Tuesday night, after the sun goes down, find the crescent moon then look directly to the left and slightly up. The comet's path moves higher and to the right of the moon as the week goes on.
You can use your fist as a guide to know where to look in the sky. Put the bottom of the fist on the horizon line. You should see the moon and the comet slightly above the fist.
Even with a clear view of the horizon, Stewart admitted it might be hard to see with the naked eye.
"Get your binoculars out and start scanning in that area. Nice little sweeps back and forth and up and down," Stewart motioned.
Comet Pan-STARRS will be visible despite racing 93 million miles from Earth.
For first-time star gazers, Stewart suggested "just go out and look...just try it."


text:
Nebulizer for Asthma (cont.)
In this Article
- Introduction to home nebulizer therapy
- How do I use a home nebulizer?
- How do I care for my home nebulizer?
- Find a local Asthma & Allergy Specialist in your town
How do I use a home nebulizer?
First, you will need the following supplies:
- Air compressor
- Nebulizer cup
- Mask or mouthpiece
- Medication (either unit dose vials or bottles with measuring devices)
- Compressor tubing
Once you have the necessary supplies:
- Place the air compressor on a sturdy surface that will support its weight. Plug the cord from the compressor into a properly grounded (three-prong) electrical outlet.
- Before asthma treatment, wash your hands with soap and water and dry completely.
- Carefully measure medications exactly as you have been instructed and put them into the nebulizer cup. Most medications today come in premeasured unit dose vials so measuring is not necessary. If you do measure, use a separate, clean measuring device for each medication.
- Assemble the nebulizer cup and mask or mouthpiece.
- Connect the tubing to both the aerosol compressor and nebulizer cup.
- Turn on the compressor to make sure it is working correctly. You should see a light mist coming from the back of the tube opposite the mouthpiece.
- Sit up straight on a comfortable chair. If the treatment is for your child, he or she may sit on your lap. If you are using a mask, position it comfortably and securely on your or your child's face. If you are using a mouthpiece, place it between your or your child's teeth and seal the lips around it.
- Take slow, deep breaths. If possible, hold each breath for 2-3 seconds before breathing out. This allows the medication to settle into the airways.
- Continue the treatment until the medication is gone (an average of 10 minutes). The nebulizer will make a sputtering noise, and the cup will have just a little medication remaining.
- If dizziness or jitteriness occurs, stop the treatment and rest for about 5 minutes. Continue the treatment, and try to breathe more slowly. If dizziness or jitteriness continues to be a problem with future treatments, inform your doctor.
During the treatment, if the medication sticks to the sides of the nebulizer cup, you may shake the cup to loosen the droplets.
© 2005-2014 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
Source article on WebMD
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National News
Staples: End Endangered Species Act abuse and misues
The author of this entry is responsible for this content, which is not edited by the Wilson County News or wilsoncountynews.com.
June 19, 2012
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AUSTIN -- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples is urging Congress to put an end to the overbearing regulations of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS) and the abuse and misuse of the Endangered Species Act. In an ongoing effort to protect Texas private property owners' rights, jobs and natural resources, Commissioner Staples today submitted written testimony to the United States House of Representatives Committee on Natural Resources.
The committee is holding an oversight hearing, titled "Taxpayer-Funded Litigation: Benefitting Lawyers and Harming Species, Jobs and Schools," which is examining how litigious groups use the Endangered Species Act and other federal laws to hinder species recovery, jobs and education.
"Congress needs to step in to end this game of 'endangered chicken' once and for all," Texas Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples said, regarding the tactics of threats by activist and the USFWS. "The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is recklessly driving the taxpayers' truck on a collision course with our economy, food producers, true species steward landowners and taxpayers. Let's hope Congress takes the keys away before more damage is done."
Below are excerpts from Commissioner Staples' testimony encouraging the EPA to explore ways to provide real and reasonable protection to legitimately threatened species:
"It is clear the ESA has been used to accomplish the goals of radicals and those seeking to expand the reach of government.
"A sad irony of the implementation of the Endangered Species Act is that it promotes regulation over incentives, often to the detriment of the species it proposes to protect. Rather than supporting proven conservation efforts, the ESA has been used to suffocate opportunities that promote species propagation through non-governmental, non-regulatory methods.
"I implore Congress to take action to provide true relief to the people of Texas and the United States. The perversion of the ESA continues to create victims and take hostages.
"When will science retain its place as the foundation for decisions − ahead of activist litigation and threats in the absence of evidence?
"Approximately 84 percent of the land in Texas is in privately-owned farms, ranches and forests. Our landowners are responsible for managing the natural resources that sustain our state's population of 26 million; feed and clothe the world; provide a healthy environment; and create the jobs that power our economy. We believe in sound decision making, private property owners' rights and the fact that government is not the answer to every problem. The execution of the ESA conflicts with these principles and has been a source of concern for Texans for decades.
"Congress must act now to provide relief to landowners, states and businesses that are being deprived of property and the opportunity to work and create jobs as activists abuse the Act in a grab for the land and water upon which Americans depend."
Commissioner Staples has proposed a nine-point plan to reform the ESA.
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text:
Baby Sleep Positions: "H Is for Hell"
Posted by Andy, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS
Every parent knows this letter. Fears it! It's the H. Some may say it stands for "horrible" but don't listen to them, they're just whitewashing it. It stands for Hell. And it's the kind of night you're both going to have.
This was one of the first "baby in bed" sleep positions we noted down before we even launched HowToBeADad.com. When we were initially spit-balling ideas back and forth for the series, all Charlie had to say was "the H" and I was immediately laughing humorlessly with bitter familiarity. No explanation necessary.
Since then, we've had a surprising number of people comment or email in, suggesting Charlie and I do this specific position (that didn't sound right). Never mind. So! All this firmed it up in our minds, that the H position seems to be ingrained into parents. Into our lower backs and stomachs at least, but maybe even at a cellular level, as deeply and mysteriously as sea turtles that know how to paddle their way back to their birthplace through about a bazillion gallons of saltwater and oil company accidents.
Parents just never forget the H. Maybe it's because sometimes they've had several hours a night to think about it… with their eyes wide open… for a year or more…
Follow us on Facebook. It's the BEST way to stay connected to our madness.
Assume the position!
Check out the rest of the Baby Sleep Positions series.
Finn is learning his ABCs
Learning is funny.
142 Comments
142 Responses to "Baby Sleep Positions: "H Is for Hell""
Ben says:
I think the picture is a little misleading. The parents aren't close enough to the edges of the bed. As in at least one leg and/or one arm hanging off.
Otherwise, I think it has been at least 3 months since "the H" hasn't happened in our house. At least I know I am not alone.
No this is completely accurate, it's just that you're thinking of where this position winds up: with each parent hanging onto the edge of the bed (and any chance of sleep) by a single hip or butt cheek.
You are not alone. By a factor of millions.
Hmm, I don't know. I kind of agree with Ben here. The diagram is misleading alright: those baby feet seem to be delicatley messaging the mom's back. In a real-life H they'de be pushing hard to shove Mom off the bed. Plus everyone seems to be sound asleep. In my H's the baby is the only one getting any sleep, while Wifey and I just lay awake wondering what we'd done to deserve this most cruel and unusual punishment.
Britt says:
It is a wee bit off Try throwing one of baby's legs OVER mom, so they are CONSTANTLY in moms ribs, as well as the one always in the ouch part of the hip/back. I'm lucky though, hubby always feels bad for me and tries to pull the kid off me at random points through-out the night. Awesome Daddy
zora says:
with us, it's a bit different (to both the picture above and what you describe). baby head rests on mums shoulder, stomach or really the worst: breast (with each turn of head, the boob gets stretched and pinched), while the legs are "resting" dynamically on hubby's hips, kicking him every now and then for good measure. at least, we're not kicked out of bed because we make such a comfy head- and leg-rest!
I've been a dad for six years now and probably the worst positions are "the *" and "the #"… yeah we have three kids and some rare nights we even get to sleep in our own bed as a couple without all the kids piling up in our bed. And as if that wasn't enough all the three of our kids roll, turn and twist whilst sleeping and they love to sleep with arms and legs wide open like some huge and adorable starfish.
There are nights when I remember falling asleep together with my wife but then suddenly our little 18-monther sleeps soundly between us in "the H" and the next time I wake our oldest son has climbed to our bed and is sleeping on both my wife's and my own legs and the next thing I know our 3½-years old boy is kicking my head while being curled up like a ball next to our headboard, the little one is being breast fed on the other side of the bed and our firstborn has twisted and rolled where our baby first was… and I am the only one who would've liked to use a blanket.
We used to sleep in a 120cm wide bed but fortunately we got recently a 160cm wide and were able to fit it in our current apartment (^__^)
…I forgot our two siamese cats from the mix who just love to sleep on me or my wife.
Phil says:
This is pretty much how things end up for us for three quarters of the night, and the feet are typically on the wife's side. And she kicks. Not the wife.
Sometimes the kid turns around to make kind of an "N."
My head hurts.
Oh yeah! The N always results in low-level brain damage or peril-zone impact.
April says:
This position is not limited to babies. This also works with our dog and cats! With our toddler that makes four levels of hell for us.
(whimpered) oh god …
Anonymous says:
Looks like Braelyn last night!
Patti says:
Also known as the "How the Hell did you do that??" Position, lol. I guess the next one will have to be the propeller, where they rotate around, so they can share the kidney kicking love with BOTH hapless parents.
This is why our daughter sleeps in her own bed. LOL
This Side of 30 says:
Yep! My husband & I kick each other enough in bed; we don't need to add a third set of feet to that!
Ha ha! Hey! You're not allowed to comment like that! The wound is salted, pass a lemon wedge so I can do a shot.
Well, maybe if you do enough shots, you can sleep through Hell.
Hannah says:
EXACTLY. Baby does not sleep in our bed. Period.
The Mommyologist says:
My five-year old still crawls into bed with us and does the "H" position, which is similar to the baby "H" position, except that now one of his feet usually winds up jamming me in the ass.
When they get older this letter just gets made bold.
Baby in bed:
Child in bed:
KCRSummertime says:
Now THAT made me laugh out loud. We still get the Bold-Capital H when our 3 yr old joins us…
Charma (@Surprised_Mama) says:
I had to laugh at this because this always happens when our son sleeps with us. This is actually on a good night. On a bad night, he ends up in an unknown letter with his foot in my face and not touching my husband at all! Hilarious!
Yikeabees. That sounds like Sanskrit.
Vi Nguyen says:
I <3 your baby sleep positions diagrams, so true & funny! My husband always complains bc our baby sleeps so close to him to the point where he sleeps at the edge of the bed, leaving me all that space haha.
Sometimes the older kid will sneak in, which sucks because she hates having the blanket on her so she'll lay on top of it, which means either one of us gets some blanket, or we're both fighting to pull some from under her heavy, limp body! Ahh, the joys of co-sleeping!
Thanks! We didn't include blanket hogging as a dynamic because we wanted to make people laugh. Not cry. These things work in small doses, but you can OD on too much truth when it's painful.
stacy says:
love this post so true so brutal and not to put you off having another- because I'm the last person to talk you out of having another baby says: mother of 5 here (btw 2 is an absolute yes from me) but times this equation by two or more OMG! I've been known to kick the largest one out of bed in the middle of the night & yes that's my husband! hahaha
BUT then they all get to the age where they absolutely will never get into your bed in the middle of the night and you will miss it. When that day comes I just crawl into bed with them for a bit of a cuddle and even though the oldest is almost 16 he allows this once in a while and I don't even kick my feet into his lower back or ear for revenge.
Ha ha! There was a certain threshold Lizzie and crossed where we weren't worried anymore about bumping into the little one in bed. Maaaaaaaaybe it was because he was big enough or maaaaaaabye it was because we'd had our bodies pulverized by the guy enough for us to want to score some points in the Ultimate Slumber Fighting matches we seemed to be entered in against our will.
stacy says:
just realized I'm pretty sure Charlie was the one with the post about having another baby that comment about baby #2 was for him
Charlie and I are actually the same person. The same insane person. I'm/We're just masters of disguise. No worries. Both of us see every comment, he got the message. Thanks for writing in.
taylor says:
this is why the kiddo never gets to sleep with us. You make the mistake once and kiss you night's rest goodbye forever.
Samantha says:
I know! My first didn't ever sleep with me, my second did becuase he was born with swallowing problems that made it easy for him to stop breathing. He's almost two and we CANT get him to sleep through the night ugggghhh!I totaly agreee!Don't let them sleep with you!
It's like a black hole of cuteness and convenience (at first) that you can get trapped into. Except you don't wind up in alternate dimension, you just wind up with dementia. :/
Kim says:
Yup, after cosleeping with 3 kids (not all at the same time) I know this one all too well! You need to somehow illustrate the position where baby climbs on top of you and laughs and grabs your face. Because of course 2am is the best time to play with mommy's nostrils and find out if her eyebrows are detachable.
2 but my wife wants 3 (ahhhh!!!) says:
We have 2 so I'm waiting for the Flying W to show up soon in the bedroom. Or will it be an M? Hmmmm…
Samantha says:
The picture is very misleading, they (the parents) look comfortable when EVERYONE knows that is not the case! I love it!
I believe the author Henry David Thoreau described it as "quiet desperation." (Not to sound all brainy n s##t, I just remember the line.) It's 6:am and they're in a catatonic daze.
Good Girl Gone Green says:
That looks about right; and usually my husband gets a nice kick in the head at least one during the night, and that when he moves to the couch…
That's like the Pong video game version of the H.
the muskrat says:
The "H" also stands for "How we gonna fuck with a baby in the way like that? Shit."
Ohmygod. You still think you're going to ever have sex again? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Elizabeth says:
It has been 21 years since my last kid, and I still remember the"H"
Jen says:
Oh good lord…You sneak into our house and retell EXACTLY what's going on for all to read;) But seriously, I have an 8mo little dude and this is happening now…what else is in store for us?!?!
Ha ha ha ha! I've said before (to the prosecuting attorneys) and I'll say it again: Stalking is a valid form of research!
We'll keep you posted as quickly as we can generate it.
BloggerFather says:
Ha! I see some commenters have offered alternatives. Mine would be that the baby is kicking me in the crotch…
beta dad says:
What the hell is that…baby…doing in bed with the parents? Those things should be in kennels, where they're safe.
Emily Guy Birken says:
Further proof that babies are total cockblockers.
6″ thick cinderblock wall.
RJ Silva says:
H is for hell. Absolutely. The exact same word I used to describe this ordeal in a photo caption here: http://dadinthecloud.com/blog/2011/8/16/dont-let-your-kids-do-this-to-you.html
alexandra says:
You forget the part when they learn to take their diapers/pants off in the middle of the night and there is a random crotch or butt mere centimeters away from your face.
Maura says:
Oh. My. Word. That never happened to me, and I am grateful! My baby daughter DID break my nose with the back of her skull one early morning, though. Frankly, I'm not sure it was worse than what you endured!
Broke your nose?!? I'm speechless. I'll take the H over a broken nose I think. I can't even think of illustrating that. Yikes! That would wake me up better than an espresso IV. Ha ha!
Maura says:
Oh, I'm very very *very* familiar with the H; I've just never woken to a diaperless kiddie butt in my face!
The broken nose was crazy and OUCH it was painful, but that only happened once. All in all, I'm not sure that's worse than a child who learns to remove their diapers, night after night, in my bed. I will take one-time pain over never-ending clean up every time.
I'm pretty much agreeing with you on that one. Ha ha! One-time Hell is better than long, drawn out HHHHHHHHHHHELL.
weks says:
And my 20 month old son is the first to drag me out of bed to the breakfast table after the sleepless H
Ugh! The injustice of it all.
"We're your foot and head cozy for the night and now you want us to be your cook staff? You better whip out some seriously cute giggles today, buddy."
Mystikcal says:
Now add a 6 y.o. and yes, the naked butt in face treatment or the wake up bc a puddle of wetness starts seeping through your pajamas. That's when we went to pull-ups…too hard for my son to rip off in the middle of sleep-induced strip down.
Mollie says:
We had this last night. Except it wasn't really an H, since the toddler insoister on laying her body across the pillows, thereby forcing her feet into my face and breathing hot baby fire breath into my husband's. We made more of a table shape. All because we lost the last pacifier in the house and it was the only thing that saved us from an entire night of mournful wailing.
Mollie says:
*insisted. I obviously didn't sleep last night.
LOL! There are no penalties for typos and bad grammar on HowToBeADad.com. Especially since nearly all of our posts are sprinkled with them.
Ha ha! "hot baby fire breath" has kept me up many a night. those little boogers are HOT, like having a bed heater roaring away between parents.
Mel says:
Not really sure what you'd call ours. Our 3 year old sleeps with his head in his Dad's neck, and his feet in my ear/head/neck/shoulder/upper back, AND our 8 month old attached to a breast, often also with her feet in my eye sockets (it's as comfortable as it sounds). Sometimes the six year old and cat are also curled up where we'd like to put our feet, although, most of the time the cat gets annoyed at having so little space that she ends up in the 3 year old's bed
That sounds like Sanskrit or cuneiform.
When I first read this I thought my wife had written it but on a second glimpse the years didn't match up…. but we'vw definitely been going through that same thing for quite some time now -__-
Pat says:
This shouldn't even be an issue. A baby should never ever be in bed with you. A baby comes home from the hospital, and sleeps in her bed, mommy and daddy have their bed, big brother hashis, and baby hashes. Simple. Never put a bottle in bed with a baby. You will never have to break that habit either. To say, we ate tired, or it's easier, thats crap. An excuse. This irritates me!
Oh I wouldn't get too worked up about it. It's their lives, the people who choose to co-sleep. For some it may even be a necessity with how many rooms they have. Or just a choice to have a closeness with their kid at the expense of some of their sleep. Different strokes for different folks.
pat says:
i know it's their lives. and honestly i dont' care what people do. this is a simple solution. put the kid in the crib. simple. sleep well. how many rooms they have? then why have a baby if you cannot provide adequate living conditions. oh my gosh.
Pete says:
Pat, why have a computer if you can't type, or use punctuation, or capitalize? The problems with humanity are endless, don't you agree?
jetts31 says:
You do know this is a comedy site right Pat? A comedy site. Funny. Tongue in cheek. Self-deprecating.
If you are continuing to have trouble, check out their Zombie vs Baby post.
DadOfTwoBoys says:
I love Pat's reply of "put the kid in their crib and sleep well".
Pat, have you never had a night when your child (I'm assuming you have kids) woke up crying inconsolably? There are just some nights that your child ends up in your bed. If you've never experienced this, the. You are LUCKY, and perhaps that is why you feel thus qualified to come up here and berate us and this website for not doing things the "simple" way.
Oh if only is met you early Pat, I could have slept well for the last four years…
Jayme says:
Oh, I agree, you should NEVER put a baby in bed with big brother's hashish. Their little fingers are too smooshy to use a lighter, it'd just be a waste.
Perhaps Pat was one of the brainchildren behind that co-sleeping ad with the baby spooning the cleaver? With the help of spell-check, of course.
Hann says:
Pat, what you are doing I simply passing judgement without considering the other side (which we can all be guilty of). You need to keep in mind that we all do what we fell is best for our families and as parents we should be supportive of this , even I'd se disagree. If bedsharing doesn't work for you, then don't do it. However, there are many situations where it does work. Many mothers who are having difficulty breastfeeding are recommended by their DOCTORS to bedshare because the closeness to baby promotes milk production as well as gives ample opportunities for besastfeeding. I work fulltime and my son still gets up 2-3 times a night to eat. He is very efficient at finding his own food and bedsharing affords me 'more sleep which keeps me fresh at my job. Also, there is a lot of research out there that supports co-sleeping of all types. Many parents agree with this research and find it is the best thing for their family. As parents we are judged every day for the choices we make. We need to stop laying guilt and already guilt-laden parents and start being supportive; even if it is something se don't agree with or understand.
Hann says:
Sorry so many typos. Typing at 4:00 in the morning on my phone.
DadOfTwoBoys says:
Well stated all around!
julie says:
Couldn't imagine not sleeping with my children until they were old enough to sleep on their own. Everyone should have a room designated for family bed. Do the research and you will see. An infant needs to nurse every two hours, whats better than the child next to you and ready to nurse. I cant imagine a mother leaving her infant in another room..
DadOfTwoBoys says:
The ignorance of the post by "Pat" is rather astounding. When my first son came home from the hospital, we were directed by his pediatrician (Pat, that's a "baby doctor", just keeping you up to speed) to have him in bed with us. He slept in a co-sleeper between us on our King Size (Pat, that's a BIG bed). Now he is four years old. Both he and his younger brother have been known to be in our bed on random nights following nightmares (Pat, those are "scary dreams") or leg cramps (Pat, those are "ouchies"). There is no way I'd leave either of my kids in his bed while he is screaming in pain or scared.
This is a humor website. It is meant to explain, in a humorous way (Pat, humor means funny) the situations and sentiments many parents, who are apparently not perfect like our new friend Pat here, have felt.
piper says:
Oh. My. Wow. Dadoftwoboys has me cracking up over! Write some more please!!!
You all seem to have missed the world-saving insight of Pat's wisdom. He's got me convinced now. Or at least conviced or covincend.
What we need to do is round up anyone who is co-sleeping, especially single parents or parents of 3 or more kids that don't live in mansions or castles and sterilize them and take their children away.
DadOfTwoBoys says:
When you put the argument in such terms of these, I find myself unable to form any logical rebuttal.
I guess I SHOULD volunteer to be sterilized…
Oh, what future horrors have I wrought upon my children by not going with the "simple solution" and having them in bed with me!?!?
(Pat… Again, to keep you up to speed, Andy and I both just exhibited "sarcasm". That means that we Really disagree with you, but we are saying we agree with you in such a way that all the readers of this blog, except you probably, will be able to tell that we are really mocking [that means "making fun of"] you.)
Everybody, sorry for the long editorial comment. I fear our friend Pat needs a little extra help to understand certain concepts.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Rock the sarcasbah.
FirstTimeMom says:
I just woke my son up coz i'm laughing histerically while reading DadOfTwoBoys comments. yes i'm late in seeing this and finding this site but trust me, this is hands down the best website there is! Pat is more likely one of the crazy "I'm so perfect" mothers we encounter on Babycenter. love this site Charlie and Andy.
ps i live in Jamaica!
Clint S says:
Please do not make the mistake of facing in when in the H position. Your toddler will kick you in the face, resulting in a bloody pillow.
Heed my warning new dads!
Heeded! One mom wrote in about her nose getting broken. Holy smokes!
Helen says:
As a single mum, I still get half the H happening. My kid has half of my queen size bed, but its just not enough for him. He needs to have it ALL and will ensure this happens by kicking mum from head to toes until she gets up and sleeps in her son's single bed :o\
Be on the look out for "The Concussion" or "Massive Head Trauma" in the series.
Helen says:
Hahahahahaha, I have a friend who's the single mother of 2 year old twin boys.
She lies in the middle of her bed to keep the kids from fighting with one another. So she has involuntarily offered her body to be the 3D kicking/smacking/punching bag of both boys lol.
Moral of this story: Every time you think your kids are pure evil, there's always someone out there worse off than you
Ha ha! That last sentence needs to be one or more of the following: A) a t-shirt, B) a fortune cookie fortune, or C) a tattoo.
Helen says:
I was actually looking for a nice present to give her for Christmas. I'll be going to the printers today and get her a t-shirt to wear to bed with that ^^ slogan on it.
Perfect! He he
"The Mom with 2 Kids" says:
You most definitely need a new diagram for "The T" or "the hat" as we call it. Yes, when a wee little one climbs to the top of the bed, laterally covering the pillows, and curls to the contour of the top of your head. My hair used to get stuck under the child, and so in my sleep-deprived state I would just take the pain…. And perhaps this diagram would most accurately show two children in the bed with parents (we did graduate to a king-sized bed. only to find that it would invite more children into our bed at times)–one in the hat formation, while the other offers a variation of the H/Donkey Kong, all while swirling all blankets around themself, which we refer to as "pig in a blanket." Yes, we have interesting sleeping formations. And cold, blanketless parents….and you wonder why it's so hard to find time for sex!
Helen says:
You just have to be more original when it comes to sex. The bed isn't the only place you know hehehe ;o)
I have been told that co-sleeping parents have the best sex life as it forces them to find other less common spots to do the deed…
nicole schukow says:
you need to do one of these for us with twins, we do the H about everynight, plus another baby laying the opposite way, mostly on top of her sister. or the H with the other one laying across my pillow on my head, kicking her sister!!! oh the joys!!!
We know we know. We REALLY need to get the twins and multiple kids represented in the series.
Anna says:
This is all making me laugh super hard. I love it!! We are not the only ones with funny sleeping positions!! We love co-sleeping though(not being sarcastic). There are ups and downs, but nothing could replace the bond it has created with our kids and the trust. They know they can always come to us when scared or sick. I remember being so scared in my room when I was little and feeling like i couldn't go to my parents room. I am glad my children won't have to feel that way. And when our baby deliriously wakes up and starts smiling and playing with our faces it gives me a good midnight chuckle. haha! These are the memories we will always remember. Kids are only kids for a little while, savor the H/table/hat positions while they last!!
So touching.
These all come from Charlie's and my experience, so we're totally there with you. My wife and I love it too, despite its downfalls, it's upsides are priceless.
Dorothy Gale says:
At our house we call this the "Minus Sign", because 1-1=0 sleep!
That math holds up to any test.
Karin says:
My back started to hurt the second I saw this H! Been there, done that. However, I tend to get the foot in the ear treatment more often, I wonder if we will actually miss these nights?
Desifix says:
The baby shouldn't be in the bed with parents to begin with… that's one of the many ways that babies die, via suffocation by their sleeping mom or dad!
stacy says:
We usually dont have any kids in bed with us but we were on vacation. We let my daughter sleep in bed with us, the first and second night was fine. Then the third night I woke up to her foot in my face it was the N postion. She had footed pj's on so it didnt hurt as bad when she kicked me in the face! lol Well we are back home and she is back in her own bed thank god. By the way my daughter is 2 so the H one nearly pushed me off the bed a few times and the last few night we made her a pillow bed on the floor because we couldnt take the no sleep anymore.
Angela says:
These images are genius. We still deal with the H on occasion when our 4 year old joins us in the early morning hours. But I usually get his head in the kidneys or shoulder blades while my poor husband gets kicked in the stomach/back/crotch. How this position occurs is still a mystery in our household.
Cosleeping has definitely been one of the greatest joys of parenting for us. After our son was born with a heart defect (undetected before birth) requiring immediate open-heart surgery followed by a 3-week stay in cardiac intensive care, we couldn't bear to leave his side when he finally came home. Cosleeping allowed me to nurse through the night while still getting plenty of sleep (until he got bigger and started to kick and form the H, of course), plus I could open my eyes and gaze at him in wonderment whenever I wanted to. So much baby love…
Great site, by the way. Will share with my hubby!
Thanks! For all the full we poke at co-sleeping difficulties, Charlie and I and our wives rock our son's in bed with us and couldn't imagine not have done it. Wonderment says it all.
Mommy2Bof3 says:
Surprisingly, I would KILL for a night that my kids would revert back to the H position. Currently we are being graced with the the "How-Many-Fingers/Toes-Can-I-Shove-Up-Mommy's-Nose"…
Helen says:
My son has been sick for the last few days and I have let him sleep in my bed. It's been a while since he last slept in my bed and I remembered the kicks in the head I got last time he slept in my bed.
This time he would cuddle upto me and poke his finger in my nose saying "nose" followed by finger in my eyes "ai" then finished with hair pulling "air".
He also had a 39C fever and cuddling me made me a little too hot for comfort. I pushed him to the other half of the bed and I then ended up with his bum against the back of my head. A bit like a T.
I can't believe how much space one little 2 year old can take up in a big queen size bed.
I ended up sleeping in his bed again.
Looking forward to seeing more awkward sleep positions :oP
John says:
This is HILARIOUS because it just happened to me the other day!
[...] his arms and legs, causing you and your partner to hug the edges of the bed. Or, the dreaded H. How to Be a Dad co-founder Andy says, it was one of the first ideas he and other co-founder [...]
[...] Which one is the most common in your bed? We're going to have to go with H is for Hell. [...]
Adam says:
Exact position our 2 yr old sleeps in excpet mom gets a good karate heel strike to the ribs every now and then to enusre she is still up while I get the sharpest baby fingernails forcing their way under me while they pinch and scratch my skin.
Roshan says:
Well…my son did this and more…in the mornings he would somehow try to climb on my tummy to lie there.he would also crawl over to my head and try to bite my face..with his toothless mouth.
But could you imagine the condition of my sis and bro-in-law who has triplets -2 boys and a girl…imagine them…and say your prayers .. counting your blessings.
[...] "H Is for Hell" [...]
Robby says:
What's really funny (but not real funny) is that it's 3:30am and I'm laying on the edge of the bed reading this website because I have a pair of four-year old feet laying across my abs. I don't get good H sleep but if she doesn't show up sometime throughout the night I miss her. :(.
Shell says:
There's a very good reason why my 6 year old still sleeps with me. The point is, she's a trained assassin in her sleep. I have a king size bed and it's just me and her and a cat, the cat is always at the foot of the bed, because, well, she's smart. My kid chops me in the throat, kicks my boobs, drives her elbow into my ear, kicks me in the stomach. I quit sleeping with my back to her a long time ago since I've had back surgeries. I finally started putting one of those hugging pillows(a pillow the length of two) and it's done wonders for my physical and mental health!!
All kids are trained assassins! Ha ha! It's a good thing they're just so damned cute and amazing.
Dmose says:
I just would like to add the infamous "Y" position where the baby literally kicks your bladder into mush. You wake up trying not to use it on yourself and you baby lies there still as if they did nothing… ugh. Trailoftears I tell you. They start at one side of the bed and end up in the "y" position.
Ugh! I hear ya. It's the worst when you kinda have to go to the bathroom but are clinging desperately to sleep in a near-useless attempt to get whatever crumbs of sleep you can.
Rebecca says:
Our 2 yr old is still sleeping with us (cluck to yourselves all you want) and we suffer through H with our dear son Holden every night. Earlier in the week his "H" turned into flopping himself up and OVER my body and onto the floor face first. Now he's wearing a red carpet burned nose to pre-school.
We had our Lucas in bed with us for that long and longer, so no clucking over here.
Lola says:
It is May 25th 2012 and this is still funny and relevant and OMG so true…yes H stands for HELL…
Ha ha! It will always be true. I could have illustrated a couple of cavepeople. Ug and Og with their little Ook in between, sleeping the H position on a stone slab, before writing was even invented.
BloggerFather says:
Og was too good for Ug. There, I said it.
It needed to be said.
Helen says:
What do you call a position where mum is lying straight on the right side of the bed and the child lies diagonally head down on the left side of the bed and with a toe up mums nose?
Mel says:
Maybe "1"?
I approve that submission. Ha ha!
Besides "a really crappy night of no sleep"? I think Mel nailed it with "1".
Michele says:
We have a 3 & 2 year old that sleep with us. I thought the "H" was our category but I think it should be "E" for Edge… Mom on one edge of the bed hanging on to the mattress cover for dear life and dad hanging 89% of his body PAST the edge of the bed (I don't know how he does it!!). We also have the "sticks" in which dad & the 3 year old lay like sticks at the foot of the bed & mom & the 2 year old lay like sticks at the head of the bed. My 2 year old has just introduced me to "I want to sleep on mommy's pillow" in which we both must now share I pillow while the "E" is in effect… Is it crazy? Sure is! But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!!! Lmbo
Olga says:
In our case my husband just gives up and goes to sleep in our toddler's bed. 6 nights a week. I laugh saying that we have made a lovely toddler room for him to sleep in but I can tell he doesn't find it funny anymore!
Yeah, a lot of people employ the retreat strategy in the war of the bed. Sometimes the humor of it does kind of drain away… hence, these diagrams, to make it funny again! Hopefully.
FirstTimeMom says:
I just woke my son up coz i'm laughing histerically while reading DadOfTwoBoys comments. yes i'm late in seeing this and finding this site but trust me, this is hands down the best website there is! Pat is more likely one of the crazy "I'm so perfect" mothers we encounter on Babycenter. love this site Charlie and Andy.
ps i live in Jamaica!
I'm laughing (safely away from sleeping children) reading that you laughed hysterically. Wow! You're so kind, thank you!
P.S. The fact that you are in Jamaica makes me feel like a friggin' celebrity.
FirstTimeMom #Jamaica says:
oh yeah u guys are my celebs…don't even wonder if i wont be recommending this site to all ma frenz!
FirstTimeMom #Jamaica says:
sorry that should read, "…wonder if i will be…" lol. English i tell u!!!
Jo says:
Wow! I found y'all at the #UBP 2013. Very funny stuff. Love your blog. We didn't do the co-sleeping thing. My kids pediatrician thought it wasn't a good idea. When my kids came home from the hospital they were in my bedroom (in a bassinet)right next to my bed for about 6 months so that I could hear them and so I didn't have to go far to get them, often I didn't even have to get out of bed. Once they were 6 months old or so, they were moved to a crib in their own room. We always used a monitor so we could hear them if they woke up. When my son died in 2004 (he was 10, and was killed in an auto accident) my daughter, who was 8 at the time,did sleep with my husband and I for a few weeks. We have a king size bed. I slept in the middle, so it wasn't weird or anything. She just went through a very rough time and needed us. But other than that, we never co-slept with our kids. I always rocked my kids to sleep at night when they were babies/toddlers, though. I enjoyed that time with them.
Jo says:
All that being said, I know lots of people who co-sleep with their kids and if you're happy and your kids are happy…go for it. To each their own. Blessings…xoxo
Kirsten says:
This is awesome! Nothing much changes by ages 4 & 6!! Except the "baby" is MUCHHH taller and the parents hang off the bed. Is that how planking was invented?
(this is only on the nights they manage to sneak into bed with us so there is some reprieve)
Ha ha! I think planking was invented by parents who fell asleep flat on their faces because their kids were pulling an H all night.
Elizabeth gully says:
Ha ha. My grand daughter sleeps like this .. She is two. ., and as far as blanket hogging goes hubby says I leave him the washing instruction tag to cover him self. . She also like to lift eye lids to see if we are asleep .. And if her foot does not end up my bum its up hubbies not nice.. Oh. You can bet once all in bed and snug then she needs to fart. Thank you very much one stinky two year old.. Or you are comfy and they want a drink….
Pamela says:
I never had this problem, My son Wyatt sleep with my and his daddy at time but only if he wakes up during the night wanting someone, but after he falls back asleep, one of us put him back in his bed, and he knows that's where he belongs. now are daughter is 5 mos old and hopefully we can get her to sleep in her own bed like we did our son.
Leave a Reply


text:
BHP careful any day now
higher and higher
he he he moron
It was a Goldman upgrade and price target of 135 dumb arz, stocks go up and down sideways and up it was a .61 drop today shut up daytrader!
Pathetic! Please get a life, go apply for a job at Sams club and works hard to beat Costco that way, oh you can't get hired!
Not sure I understand what this company is anymore? Kinda like Sears just selling itself bit by bit, I think Corian, Zodaiq, on the block , then whats left? Carpets, Nylons, paints, teflon, all else commodity items. Is the Ag business that big?


text:
Asia Pacific Region – Key Market For U.S. Ag
Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack has announced that the U.S. Department of Agri-culture (USDA) is investing in approximately 70 U.S. agricultural organizations to help expand commercial export markets for their goods. Vilsack made the announcement during a conference call with reporters from Vietnam, where he met with officials to help strengthen trade relations in the Asia Pacific region.
"Under the Obama Administration, USDA has continued to expand markets for American goods abroad, worked aggressively to break down barriers to trade and assisted U.S. businesses with the resources needed to reach consumers around the world," says Vilsack.
"The funding announced today will ensure that U.S. agriculture remains a bright spot in America's economy and a driving force behind export expansion, job creation and our country's overall competitiveness."
Export Promotion Pays Off
USDA's Foreign Agricultural Service (FAS) allocated $213 million for export promotion activities through two USDA international market development programs: the Foreign Market Development Program (FMD) and the Market Access Program (MAP).
USDA's international market development programs have had a significant and positive impact on U.S. agricultural exports. An independent study released in 2010 found that for every dollar expended by government and industry on market development, U.S. food and agricultural exports increase by $35.
Currently, the American brand of agriculture is surging in popularity worldwide. Farm exports in fiscal year 2011 reached a record high of $137.4 billion – exceeding past highs by $22.5 billion – and supported 1.15 million jobs here at home. The agricultural trade surplus stands at a record $42.9 billion. USDA also forecasts that new trade agreements with South Korea, Colombia and Panama will add an additional $2.3 billion to the farm economy and support about 20,000 American jobs.
Under FMD, FAS will allocate a total of $29.7 million to 24 trade organizations that represent U.S. agricultural producers. The organizations, which must contribute a minimum 50 percent cost share toward the program, will conduct activities that help maintain or increase demand for U.S. agricultural commodities overseas.
Under MAP, FAS will provide $183 million to 67 nonprofit organizations and cooperatives. MAP participants must contribute a minimum 10 percent match for generic marketing and promotional activities and a dollar-for-dollar match for promotion of branded products by small businesses and cooperatives.
Vilsack Meets With Ag Reps
In Vietnam, Vilsack met with representatives from some of the U.S. agricultural organizations benefitting from these programs. He also spoke with Vietnamese officials and talked with students at the Hanoi University of Agriculture.
Next he will travel to China as part of the Obama Administration's delegation for the 22nd Joint Commission on Commerce and Trade (JCCT), where he also plans to meet with additional U.S. agricultural organizations benefitting from USDA's international market development efforts.
To learn more about how USDA's international market development programs benefit U.S. agriculture, go to the USDA Blog at www.usda.gov or contact the USDA Office of Communications for more updates on export program activities.
USDA contributed information for this article.
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WRALSportsFan: Talking Points: No quarter for Tar Heels http://t.co/8u33s7pq8F #wral
— Sun 10:48 a.m.
WRALSportsFan: ALERT: Former Titans kicker Rob Bironas, 36, killed in accident http://t.co/FyW16SJmZX #breaking
— Sun 10:47 a.m.
WRALSportsFan: Join @jgravleyWRAL and Coach Logan at 11:30 a.m. on @WRAL for #LoganZone - thanks to @EMERG_NC for sponsoring this season!
— Sun 10:32 a.m.
WRALSportsFan: RT @mikemaniscalco: The @NHLCanes game roster for today's match against Columbus. http://t.co/UhmvGaYjOv
— Sun 10:31 a.m.
WRALSportsFan: RT @jgravleyWRAL: The Carolina blue sky turns purple at #ECUvsUNC Will be discussed today on the #LoganZone at 11:30am #wral
— Sun 9:30 a.m.
WRALSportsFan: RT @SparkysSnowball: @WRAL The skies are no longer Carolina blue. They are East Carolina Purple. http://t.co/TOSmdBmSpw
— Sun 7:45 a.m.


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Sierra Heavy Duty Motor Flusher
Motor Flusher, Heavy Duty - Sierra
Hose Connector is Made of Plastic
Flushes cooling system of salts and sediments and allows engine to idle for tuning and engine adjustment in your own driveway. Simply slip attachment over the engine's side water intakes. Coated spring steel arms clamp suction cup securely over the engine's side water intakes.
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