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Financial Security for Unmarried Couples
Published on - April 7th, 2011 (Modified on - January 5th, 2012) (by Sierra Black)
This post is from staff writer Sierra Black. Sierra writes about frugality, sustainable living, and raising children at Childwild.com.
Money is one of the biggest issues couples fight about. It's also one of the most important areas for clear communication. After all, money touches every aspect of our lives.
I've written before about the importance of having good financial communication with your spouse. It's doubly important to communicate well with your partner if you're not married. Many of the financial advantages married couples enjoy are available to unmarried partners — but they're not automatic. For unmarried partners, it takes careful planning and legal documentation to create the kind of benefits married couples get the moment they say, "I do."
Money Without Matrimony
To get a sense of the challenges and opportunities facing unmarried couples, I turned to financial expert Debra Neiman. Neiman is a Certified Financial Planner and co-author of the book Money Without Matrimony, a primer for unmarried couples setting up house together. I also spoke with two other, more personal experts on unmarried partnership: my friends John and Sarah. John and Sarah are living together and raising their daughter living together as unmarried partners.
According to Money Without Matrimony, there are three core groups of people who choose unmarried partnerships:
- same-sex couples who can't legally marry
- younger couples who don't feel ready for marriage or aren't interested in marrying
- older couples who have financial disincentives to marry because of their existing benefits.
John and Sarah fall squarely into Neiman's middle camp: a couple in their mid-30s who enjoy their unmarried partnership and aren't interested in marriage, but do want to share a life together. They've been together four years, and have a daughter.
"We have no plans to get married in the future," Sarah says. "We're happy being unmarried to each other. Right now I feel like the most likely reason for us to get married would be if we had no other way to achieve some critical benefit associated with marriage, like if we had to get married to get our daughter health insurance. But so far nothing like that has come up."
Sarah says they manage their household finances through a joint account, but each maintain individual accounts. "I think we'd probably manage day-to-day expenses roughly the same if we were married to each other," she says. They've just recently made the transition from graduate student income to a professional salary, so they're facing some new decisions about how to handle savings and long-term plans.
Five Keys to Financial Success
Regardless of why you're not married, or what stage of life you're at, Neiman says there are five things every unmarried couple must do to safeguard themselves and each other as they approach their financial life together:
- Document. Put your wishes in writing. This means all the basic estate planning documents, which are doubly important for married couples. If you die without a will, or fall ill without a health care proxy, and you're married, your spouse has certain automatic legal rights to make decisions on your behalf and dispense with your stuff. Your unmarried partner, on the other hand, is legally a stranger to you. Without these documents, your loved one will have no rights to care for you or inherit from you. You'll want some additional documentation as well. Neiman says it's a good idea to write down your basic ground rules for how you'll share household expenses, and to document what you want to have happen if the relationship dissolves."It's important to do this while you're in love," Neiman says. I'd add that those kinds of informal process documents are a good plan for all couples — married or not.
- Insure. Some federal protections don't apply to unmarried couples, such as social security benefits. That makes it vital to have adequate life insurance protecting each other in the event of a tragedy. "If these two people are relying on each other's income, they need to insure to protect themselves," Neiman says. She encourages unmarried couples to carry enough term life insurance to replace some income streams, such as the social security benefits they don't qualify for.
- Instruct. Instruct your trustees as to your wishes. If you are providing for each other in the event of something happening, make sure that you list your partner as beneficiary. Be sure you've done all the appropriate paperwork for this, since — as mentioned above — it won't happen automatically.
- Ownership. Make sure that assets are owned properly. "This is where things get really sticky for unmarried couples," Neiman said. Unlike married couples, unmarried couples cannot share property indiscriminately; property transfers between partners may be subject to gift taxes. On the other hand, unmarried couples do not have to share in each other's debts or faulty credit. Indeed, one reason couples sometimes choose not to marry is to avoid mingling one partner's pristine financial history with the other's spotty one.
- Inform. Inform family members of your intentions or wishes. Neiman says this is especially important if you expect family members to be difficult about choices you've made. If your family doesn't approve of your relationship, they may resist your wishes to provide for your partner. Better to have your plans known ahead of time than to have them mount a surprise contest against your will after you're gone.
These steps are all, obviously, good ideas for any couple. The better you plan ahead of emergencies and the eventual end of your life, the smoother the process will be for your loved ones. They're essential for unmarried couples, though.
Neiman says not getting all the requisite legal documents in place is the top mistake unmarried couples make. Money Without Matrimony contains many troubling stories of couples whose failure to plan ahead caused catastrophe for one or both of them.
More Than Money
It's not just about the disposition of substantial assets. Neiman asks couples to think about what will happen to their most personal items. What will happen to your journals? Any art you've created? Your pets? If you're not married and you want your partner to have those things, you need to say so clearly in writing.
Once you have your documentation in place and have agreed on how to share your household expenses and long-term plans, keeping it running smoothly isn't that different than it is for married couples. It requires the same commitment to clear communication and responsible use of resources.
My friend Sarah cites getting to write their own agreements about money as one of the best things about having an unmarried partnership. "The other side of that coin is having to work out our own agreements, rather than letting the government make decisions for us," she says.
This article is about Relationships
I'll step out on the limb and say this (call me old fashioned)…
If you're not committed enough to each other to get married, then it is probably not a good idea to be worrying about finances together. I understand this is not the case for millions of people, but I still don't think it is right.
If you cannot commit to me enough to marry me, why would I worry about sharing my income and assets with you? That's putting yourself in position for a potential disaster.
Plenty of people will also argue that getting married is not necessarily a commitment that will provide protection either. I refute that as well by saying that if you understand the commitment you make when getting married (as long as we both shall live), then divorce is not really an option.
To most people, getting a divorce is just like breaking up in high school – not really a big deal. It is not meant to be that way.
The high divorce rate in the U.S. is more reflective of an overall lack of willpower and discipline.
– People can rarely stick to an exercise program.
– People struggle to manage their finances and avoid debt
– People struggle to fix a marriage when it has problems
All of these things take hard work, that's why most people aren't good at them. It's a bit sad really that many areas of life that require hard work and discipline, Americans in general are pretty terrible at. As blessed as this country is, we really could do a lot better.
Just a gentle reminder that many people committed to each other enough to live together for decades are not allowed to marry in the U.S. In addition, gay couples take serious hits in their financial lives because of current tax policy.
I'd also recommend a book that sounds like it would complement Money without Matrimony–The Nolo Guide entitled Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples. It's easy to understand and very thorough.
"Just a gentle reminder that many people committed to each other enough to live together for decades are not allowed to marry in the U.S."
Without going into too much detail, my religious beliefs are such that I do not support gay relationships. I don't hate these folks, but I do not support them being married, or even being in relationships.
As for elderly couples, I thinkt he same rules apply as with younf people. IF you love the person, marry them. But if not, you shouldn't get all the benefits of marriage without the commitment (i.e. living together, sexual realtions, etc).
But again, my beliefs come from my being a follower of Jesus, and my belief that these types of actions are not right.
It's nothing personal toward anyone. Simply my beliefs/opinion.
I don't mean to disrespect anyone's religious beliefs. But our constitution states that no one religious belief is supposed to be supported over another. It's called the Establishment Clause.
So if some people of faith believe gay people should be allowed to marry (which is the case) and other people of faith believe homosexuality is a sin (also true), the burden for the government is to decide if there is an overwhelming state interest in disallowing or allowing gay couples to marry.
Choosing government policy on the basis of the religious beliefs of one group would be unfair to everyone else and unconstitutional.
Yep, it makes things messy but that's the system we have. And regardless of the moral issues involved, unmarried couples still need to make decisions about the realities of their finances.
The federal and state governments are wreaking a lot of financial havoc in people's lives while trying to sort out its response to same sex relationships. The book in the review and others are sorely needed.
Pamela said what I wanted to say without calling you things that reflect on your prejudices and bigotry. Bravo Pamela! It's one thing to claim you don't believe gays should be allowed to marry, but they can't even get in a relationship in your eyes? Drawing comparisons to people 60 years ago regarding interracial marriages is apt here. Egads.
On topic, good article. I don't plan to live with anyone until I'm engaged, old fashioned fool that I am, so it's sort of moot. But many of my friends are "living in sin" and need a book like this.
Great comments, Pamela!
Thankfully I refreshed the page and calmed down a little bit allowing me to see that Pamela already wrote what I would have written; however, like Adam P said, in a much more diplomatic fashion.
Please remember that correlation is not causation. Just because someone can't stick to a diet, exercise plan, or budget doesn't mean they can't make life long commitments to someone. That's like using this study (http://i.imgur.com/kpb5A.png) to imply that people who are more religious have on average:
-Lower IQs,
-Kill more,
-Steal more,
-Divorce more…
Give to Caesar what is Caesar's (taxes) give to God what is Gods (faith, love, devotion).
"Without going into too much detail, my religious beliefs are such that I do not support gay relationships. I don't hate these folks, but I do not support them being married, or even being in relationships"
If your religion doesn't preach love or acceptance than I suggest you find a new religion. Using religion as an excuse to discriminate against or devalue a private relationship is beyond ignorant. You may choose to hide behind these "religious" beliefs but please don't patronize us by saying you don't hate gays but you don't support them being in relationships.
I bet you also use this line … I don't hate gays, I have gay friends.
Gays being in relationships or being married or being parents has absolutely nothing to do with you or with your religion.
Just another Thank You! to Pamela for more diplomatically writing what I was going to say.
Ditto Pamela et al.
Bravo, Pamela! Bravo!
It's clear from your comments that you assume being gay is a choice (comparing it to smoking, children misbehaving, etc.).
Which begs the question, at what point in your life did you decide to be straight?
I do think of the three cited categories of unmarried couples, one stands out as being very different. The same sex couple and the elder couple could very well be committed for life, just not legally so. The other, younger couple, "not ready to marry" in my mind would do best to leave their finances as separate as possible.
There are people who are philosophically against marriage. I personally don't care to be someone's wife and I have zero desire to whelp out five children as you have. Your choices make you happy and give you self-respect, and my decision to maintain independence while living in a committed relationship does the same for me. There's room enough for all of us here.
Call me rational, but why would I want to get into an unwritten contract that might change if we moved to a different state, and which has nothing at all to do with my emotional love and commitment for my partner?
I'm in exactly the situation of the couple in the article – we've been happily unmarried for 11 years, now, and having to negotiate and talk about money instead of just taking blindly the package that comes with marriage has been really good for our relationship. We are thinking about getting married now, for tax reasons – I am thinking of going back to being a SAHM and the tax disadvantage for unmarried couples in that instance is HUGE. But aside from not liking the fact that all our careful documentation and planning could be upended by marriage laws if we relocated to another state, I really don't like feeling like I'm being forced by punitive anti-domestic-partner laws to change my private life.
"To most people, getting a divorce is just like breaking up in highschool…"
I agree with you, ideally, getting married SHOULD be a life commitment. But as you pointed out, you and I both know that in most cases this is no longer respected.
We have become what I call a 'disposable' society. If it no longer works, toss it aside and get a new one.
No one seems to understand the meaning of commitment anymore, and because of this, the concept of marriage has been cheapened.
All that said, my 'husband' and I have been together for 25 years. We have four grown kids and a house. WE ARE NOT MARRIED.
Why? Well, financially, we really do come out ahead. But the main reason is a matter of principle. We are more committed to our relationship than probably 98% of our married friends. Most of them act like they don't even like each other anymore. Marriage to them has become a joke.
After 25 years, I love being with my 'significant other'. He is my best friend, and the person I want to be with to my dying day. We are totally committed, and a piece of paper or religious ceremony cannot make it anymore so. You are either are or you aren't. Simple as that.
Just out of curiosity, did you all make a conscious decision to not get married, or was it one of those things that just never happened?
you said:
"We have become what I call a 'disposable' society. If it no longer works, toss it aside and get a new one.
No one seems to understand the meaning of commitment anymore, and because of this, the concept of marriage has been cheapened."
I agree, that does seem to be the case. But I choose to try and do something about it instead of just accepting it like most people do. Mostly a losing battle.
I am a lesbian and church going Christian (Episcopalian). You just went to the top of my prayer list.
Yay for our side! I'm an Episcopal priest who was honored to conduct a wedding service at the church for two women who A) have two kids, B) teach Sunday school, C) serve on the church board, D) mentor confirmation candidates, E) help run our casserole brigade and F) have been together 14 years.
How anyone could see these two pillars of society and the church as a threat is absolutely beyond me. And how does blocking their marriage, and making it harder for them to legally protect and care for their children and themselves help society or the state in any way?
How wonderful. I love the Episcopal church.
I choose not to get married for two reasons:
1) If gay people can't legally get married, I won't either (that's a synopsis, it's decidedly more complex than that); related to:
2) I sincerely believe that marriage is a spiritual contract, not a legal one–and government needs to stay out of it. Which would solve issue #1.
My commitment to my partner isn't at stake here.
Thank you! This is the reply I would have written to TylerK, if there was a reply space under his reply to me.
"If you're not committed enough to each other to get married, then it is probably not a good idea to be worrying about finances together. "
Yep, that pretty much sums it up.
I'm a follower of Jesus, too, and I fully support gay rights (including marriage).
Two of the three pastors at my church are gay. They follow Jesus, too.
Perhaps Bogey just strayed off the path?
Also: If I were to get married again it would have to be for something really romantic, like health insurance.
In ten states by setting up all of these provisions- you are married in common law. IF fear of divorce is a problem- then common law is the way to go- for there is no divorce. You simply declare common law and these types of situations are unnecessary.
Actually this is not true. My aunt had to have a divorce from a common law marriage.
Also, in Texas at least, you can set up all this documentation and it has nothing to do with common law marriage. I'm not familiar with other states, but in Texas one of the biggest criteria is representing yourself as husband and wife.
My cousin had to get divorced from a Common Law marriage – Kansas.
Great piece.
I wonder if adoption can be used, particularly with same-sex couples? As in, one partner adopts the other, thereby eliminating some but not all of the complications.
This is good information, especially for the large number of Americans who are not able to legally marry the partner of their choice. One question though, why did your sentence saying that money is one of the biggest issues couples fight about link to an article about how money is actually not the real culprit in most divorces? Weston is saying that yes, people fight about money, but as a stand in for their deeper problems.
It seems to me that if you're doing all of this and you *could* get married, that you're doing a whole lot of work to reinvent the wheel. Why build up what is effectively a marriage one expensive ($300/hour attorney fee) piece at a time when you could just get married and get all this for free? If what you want isn't marriage, then why would you go through all of this effort to mimic it?
Have to agree with Tyler here. If you're able to get married and have been living together long enough to start changing your wills and sharing accounts etc.; why not just get a quick marriage licence and not bother telling anyone that you did it. Then you get all the benefits for one low cost and if you act like nothings changed, who will know?
Some of us have moral beliefs in freedom and equality, but also I have seen enough couples get married in one state and divorced in another that I am really, really leery of the entire family court system.
You wouldn't get into any other kind of legal arrangement by "whatever law is enforced in this state" – you make specific contracts for leases, loans. Marriage and employment are basically the only deals where you figure out what the rules are in court after the fact.
I don't see what believing in equality has to do with it. I specifically was talking about people who *could* get married.
But you *always* enter into any legal contract based on the laws of the place in which the contract is executed. Do you think all real estate contracts are identical regardless of location? What happens if you move to France, is your specific contract for a lease or loan that you drafted in Illinois valid there? Maybe. I would guess there's a good chance it's not.
As referenced above, many loving stable couples are legally barred from marrying.
Another reason, particularly for older couples, is when one party wants to continue receiving benefits from a former spouse that would be lost upon remarriage. (Many types of survivors benefits are lost upon remarriage.) Is that ethical, I can't say, but it is rational in that the cost is usually far greater than $300.
Tyler already said he was only referring to couples who CAN marry but choose not to. If that is not clear, I think he means his comments only refer to straight couples who don't marry. And I have to agree. I don't really see the point in avoiding getting married if you can. Just go to a courthouse and have the judge sign the certificate. That's a lot less expensive than getting lots of contracts.
I am straight and could get married, but won't, because I believe in equality. It's a stand that I want to take, and isn't so simple as "you can so you should, even though those other people can't".
For unmarried couples who could legally get married at some point (i.e., hetero couples who are living together), be sure to also have an exit strategy in place IN WRITING before moving in together. I've learned this lesson the hard way. Make sure that if the other person suddenly decides to leave you/kick you out, that there is money set aside for moving expenses, establishment of a new househould, and that there is a signed agreement as to who retains ownership of what joint purchases. Otherwise, you could find yourself homeless, with all the funds in the joint account mysteriously gone, and no legal recourse whatsoever.
I don't think this article was intended to be a topic of moral debate, but rather a guide for people who may be somewhat less traditional. I enjoy anything that makes me look at finance and life from a different perspective, especially when it's counter to my own.
Jonathan said:
"If your religion doesn't preach love or acceptance than I suggest you find a new religion. Using religion as an excuse to discriminate against or devalue a private relationship is beyond ignorant. You may choose to hide behind these "religious" beliefs but please don't patronize us by saying you don't hate gays but you don't support them being in relationships.
I bet you also use this line … I don't hate gays, I have gay friends.
Gays being in relationships or being married or being parents has absolutely nothing to do with you or with your religion.
So as far as I'm concerned you can take your hatred and ignorance masked behind your "religious beliefs" and shove them you know where.
And by the way, Jesus would be ashamed of people like you. Just keep that in mind."
My religion does teach that I should love and support everyone. Loving and supporting is different than condoning all thier behaviors.
If your child steals something or murders someone, you still love them. But you don't necessarily support or condone what they did.
Jesus was never afraid to call someone out for being a sinner. We're all sinners, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to sin less.
I was trying to engage in a respectful conversation, and express my viewpoint. People in the US are free to do what they want, and live with whomever they want, I accept that. But personally, I do think its a good idea. That's really it.
But condemning my viewpoint, aren't you doing the very same thing you accuse me of? I am free to have my opinion right, just as gay people are free to be in relationships.
I don't think I ever said I hated anyone. I simply said that there are some actions that people take that I do not agree with. They are legally allowed to do these things if they want to. OK, I accept that. I am not required to agree with it. I don't think that makes me a bigot at all.
I don't think smoking is a good idea either, but it is legal, and people do it. I am a bigot for disliking smoking?
Again, I believe you can disagree with a persons actions without hating them.
On the other hand, it appears that you believe that you either support every single thing a person does, or you hate them.
No, you're right, you're perfectly allowed to your opinion and to state them and not be 'attacked' but asked to debate them. This isn't the place for it tho, poor JD opened a can of worms I'm sure he doesn't want. What Pamela wrote:
"So if some people of faith believe gay people should be allowed to marry (which is the case) and other people of faith believe homosexuality is a sin (also true), the burden for the government is to decide if there is an overwhelming state interest in disallowing or allowing gay couples to marry."
Is the crux of it tho. The way it is in America and other democratic places is that you have to show why there is a state interest in disallowing gays to marry. So far, no one has shown any–if you can provide one, please do (without referencing God and Jesus). That's why it will eventually happen, and has already happened in some States.
Adam – The funny thing is, I agree with you. But it is likely no one will listen, because they are too wrapped up in the fact that I am a "bigot". Consider this –
I'd actually have no problem with gay marriage being legal in all 50 states. It really won't change anything, and it won't harm me. If people want to be in a same sex relationship with one another, that really is their right as a free citizen of the United States.
BUT – on the other hand, if it were to be legalized, I would still not believe that it is the right thing to do. (just like smoking, it is legal, but I don't support it)
Does that make sense?
My goal on this earth is to encourage and support people. But I have to draw the line somewhere. There are just some things I will not support. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.
I think that you have to be willing to stand for something, otherwise you will fall for anything.
But that does not mean that I think the government should make a law against it (gay marriage). That is not what the government is for.
The government should make laws to generally protect people. In this case, allowing same sex marriage won't really harm anyone. I agree about that.
I probably won't be hosting rallies in support of a law change, but I would not oppose it.
That makes perfect sense to me. Thank you for your reply, my apologies for any rudeness in my previous posting.
I still don't see the need for some people to get hostile in opposing laws that don't impact you but give other people (minorities) freedoms that you (the majority) already enjoy–I'm glad you wouldn't be one of those people.
Smoking I am against because I breath second hand smoke that I hate every time I am near a smoker. It can be detrimnetal to my health and causes me to stink. But gay marriage, if I don't like one or want one, I won't have one. It doesn't affect me in a way that I can claim damages myself though; so why would I try to actively/vocally stop others from having one and get riled up about it? Only because my church/religion tells me to? But that's not the kind of soceity we live in, that's akin to living in Saudi Arabian theocracy.
Now I'm way off topic. JD I apologize and won't post any more on the subject.
Bravo, bogey. I'm all for live and let live, but I'm also for think and let think. People for the former often don't respect the latter.
What people often forget is that in a Democracy, we are all entitled to our own opinions (it's called voting your conscience), and no one has to justify his opinion to the satisfaction of anyone else.
We're not doing the same thing you are, because we're not the ones legislating our moral views. Why should this preference for married heterosexual couples be written into the tax codes (thank you, "imputed income" taxes because of DOMA) just because some religious people think everyone should be married? Why should we be paying for all these specific legal services that married couples get for free? Why is there a tax break for a spouse inheriting a 401k?
Because people like you have managed to use legal and financial means to enforce your views of how other people should live, that's why.
Please show me where I said anything about legislating away people's rights?
I just said I don't agree with it. Period.
Please read more carefully, and try to actually understand what I am saying.
…is different than:
Sorry to assume, because you jumped onto an article for unmarried couples telling them to just get married, that you were one of the people who voted for DOMA.
I still do not understand why there always has to be a "traditional marriage" viewpoint posted right away on any article about
*unmarried couples
*separate checking accounts
It's hard not to lump all of you together in my mind because there is ALWAYS a comment like this on any nontraditional relationshop article. Check out the huge argument on the reader's story about her divorce.
Sorry to contribute to the hostilities. Pamela did a way better job of posting calmly.
LOL @ taking 1 post to turn into a moral debate about marriage and gays. I called that one about 1/3rd of the way into the article.
I understand the same sex couples and the older couples ideas behind not getting married. Like someone else pointed out, its hard to see the point of view of John and Sarah. Seems like just getting married down at the local courthouse would be much easier than drawing up all this legal documentation.
This is an interesting article, and a topic you dont see often enough. My girlfriend will most likely be moving into my house before we are married, so it's interesting to consider teh financial situation prior to combining our finances.
I think keeping separate living spaces, accounts, and assets is ideal for an unmarried couple that can otherwise get married. Life insurance coverage? Documenting? Bah! It is not so much to punish the person not wanting martrimony as much as it prevents a significant loss wealth when the other person decides they do want to get married…to someone else.
I have a question about Social Security and other federal benefits. Can you get the same protections with contracts and other means that you get from getting married? If one member of a married couple dies, the other gets some kind of payment based on their spouse's benefit. I doubt contracts between partners would allow you to collect the other's Social Security.
I have the same question about inheritance taxes. I don't think there are taxes on an inheritance between spouses up to a certain $ amount. Can this benefit be recreated with contracts and joint ownership?
Social security – no.
Inheritance – no, you would pay full estate taxes on half of joint accounts and have the full inheritance tax on nonjoint things (like 401k accounts).
There are a lot of tax benefits of marriage.
For me, I was married for 10 years. My ex-husband had two affairs while we were married (the second one was the final straw and we got divorced). He was also very controlling of me. I would have gotten out of the marriage years earlier because of his control issues, but I made a vow and wanted to honor the vow. Yes, there's the whole till death do us part, but it takes two to keep the marriage together. There's only so much that one person can do for a marriage. I am now scared to death about getting married again and being legally and religiously bonded to someone. I have found a boyfriend, we're living together and maybe someday will get married. Living together is a way to get to know the real person and all their flaws. I am religious and I know that what I'm doing is wrong from that standpoint, but I need to protect myself.
We are at the starting point of discussing who is paying what bills, how to do some sort of joint financing, maybe a joint cell phone plan. We need to figure out how to tie our finances together without it getting too messy in case we split up, but need to tie it to make paying household expenses easier.
Thank you JD for sharing this article!! I had not heard of this book and will be ordering it on Amazon. Moral or not, this is common in today's society and I think it's very relevant to what *most* readers need to know about. It might not be their situation, but it could be a situation for a family or friend of the reader.
you moved in together and then talked about bills?
Couples moving in together don't seem to be that big a deal to me, but I admit I'm probably at a very different stage in life (college/just out of it) when people are still more fluid in their living arrangements.
But I see a roommate like situation as easily possible in the original case, where your stuff is co-located, but your finances are still largely separate (such as cell phones, investments, cars, etc). You don't need to know much more than the basics like with any other roommate. Utilities, splitting the rent, and maybe groceries. As long as you make a good exit plan, it's much less involved than say opening joint accounts.
We discussed at a super high level who would pay what bills – predominately utilities. Didn't discuss misc household stuff (target/wal-mart stuff) or food (who pays groceries and when). I make more than he does but then it's a guy vs. girl thing. So we're trying to negotiate that now. It's really the details that we haven't worked out but those details add up to be big expenses in the budget.
Now that I have come out as gay and Christian, it seems apt for me to share my experiences as a person unable to marry who has been in two long term committed relationships. Sierra's article did not address two important points: cost and health care issues. It costs approximately $5,000 for a gay couple in California to get all of the legal protections in place even with domestic partnership laws that a simple trip to the courthouse provides heterosexual couples able to marry. The costs grow exponentially when there are children involved. I cannot urge John and Sarah more strongly to get married for the sake of their child. A big part of the protections marriage provides is in the health care area. If you don't have everything in place (and I mean everything, there are a lot of components to health care issues), you risk being a stranger to your partner in the case of a medical emergency. It's even worse if something happens when you are out of the country.
Also, for the naive who think that the government will not be involved in your separation if you do not have a marriage license, please understand that this is wishful thinking. If you still chose the unmarried route, at least be cognizant of the common law marriage statues in your state. You may be married and not know it.
Nothing against this article, but I'd love to see J.D.'s next article be about the impending furlough of over 800,000 employees. We could sure use some of your guidance right about now!! thanks
Agreed! It sure looks like we're heading for some unpaid time off.
We state employees endorse this!
All I've got is: have a big emergency fund and get used to living on less.
As a former government employee, my advice to anyone in this situation is simple. Find a new job. You can enjoy better pay and less stress doing the exact same job, in most cases.
If you are a teacher or other similar job then I dont know what to say other than you have my sympathy.
Personally, I know several long-term, committed, cohabiting gay couples who own property together and in some cases have kids together. They all thought that the $3K – $5K in legal fees, necessary to set up their wills, powers, trusts etc., was well-spent.
Also personally, I was involved in a long unmarried cohabitation that ended badly. In that case it cost me a significant amount of money to get the monkey off my back, but I was glad that I did *not* have a bunch of contracts floating around that I needed to track down and nullify. There were no kids, though – I think, if I had wanted kids, I would have gotten married solely because it simplifies things. A divorce could not have been much worse than the unmarriage-breakup.
Sierra, thanks for opening a can of contentious worms by starting this important conversation, and J.D., thanks for taking the article even though you knew perfectly well what would happen.
This is VERY helpful, and I appreciate the book recommendations I saw while scanning the comments. My partner and I have discussed not getting legally married for a number of reasons, who good financial planning is key.
I don't believe people need a piece of paper or ring or children to "show/prove" their level of commitment to any partner. But unfortunately, we have to legally cover these commitments when we want to extend these benefits (Ever notice that no one asks why Married Couples in 2011 should be entitled automatically to so much financial windfall & liability but we're quick to debate extending this to same sex couples?) This isn't 1850 or 1950 when you had a husband earning the bulk of the income to support a part-time or non-working wife. Sometimes we need to step back and look at the big picture.
And the big picture here is that this article was posted as advice for unmarried couples, which applies to MANY situations and MANY orientations. It's none of your business what I am, but I'll tell you I'm a heterosexual in a multiyear relationship and this article is great to read about. In the event something happens to me, I want to make sure my partner is taken care of financially if we're not married.
Is that okay with everyone or should I go off topic like most of the posting?
61Since most of the case studies in the book were from actual client scenarios, I appreciate those who posted their own stories.
Unfortunately, there is no way to replicate the economic side of marriage through legal contracts because certain benefits can't be created synthetically, including: receiving Social Security survivor benefits, avoiding inheritance/estate taxes, and the ability to give each other an unlimited amount of assets throughout one's lifetime (the unlimited marital deduction). However, with proper planning one may be able to provide for him/herself and partner.
What's all the fuss? I must admit the comments are funny and some are genuinely insightful. What's wrong with just getting married, moving in together as husband and wife and staying married while sharing in the fullness of life financially, spiritually, and morally? It's a great way to procreate and raise children which two of the categories mentioned in write-up are unable to do.
As someone who has been living with her opposite sex partner for 10 years, I appreciate you focusing on this topic. We are both divorced with very unpleasant memories of going through the legal and financial process of divorce at a time when we were in a lot of emotional pain, and have no interest in doing that again.
We went to a lawyer and had all the necessary paperwork drawn up, it only cost $2000, well worth the expense. We keep all our finances and property separate and we like it that way. Every day we are together is because we want to be together, not because of a piece of paper we signed. That piece of paper wouldn't make me love him any more, or prevent him from leaving mem if he so desired. I also agree with a previous poster that marriage is a spiritual contract and firmly believe the government should get out of the marriage business and treat everyone as an individual.
Don't forget that some people live together and delay getting married because they want to be able to have their dream wedding. My mother knew a very nice couple who were together for at least 10 years before finally getting married. They wanted a beautiful wedding in Hawaii so they had a lot of saving to do (we're all from the Midwest). They also wanted to start their own company together, which they did. Well, they had their dream wedding without the debt and with family and a few very close friends (my mother included) by their sides. I saw the pictures- it was just perfect and I'm sure that for them it was well worth the wait!
This is probably going to open a whole new can of worms, but as well as there are financial benefits to getting married, there are definetely tax disincentives to getting married. For everyone who thinks that they got rid of the 'marriage tax' our tax burden went UP significantly when we got married. So I'm glad that I have benefits from social security that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise – since I'm now paying more. That said, I do think that gay couples who chose to live together as married couples should be allowed to create the same LEGAL bond that I have with my husband, so they can enjoy paying more taxes, and getting the same respective protections that we enjoy.
The marriage tax penalty happens when both parties make about the same amount. The marriage tax benefit happens when one outearns the other.
"Indeed, one reason couples sometimes choose not to marry is to avoid mingling one partner's pristine financial history with the other's spotty one."
This statement is very confusing to me. To my understanding, when two people get married their credit reports are not merged. It will only be affected if they both intentionally decide to co-sign each other's previously established cards, or pursue new joint debts together. Getting married does not automatically tarnish each other's financial histories.
In regards to responsibility for your spouse's debts accrued in his/her name only, that seems to depend on state laws, i.e. if you live in a community property state. Even if you do live in a community property state, can you opt out of this through a prenuptial agreement, or does that only apply to taxes?
Could this be addressed more clearly in a future post? There is a lot of misinformation out there on this topic.
I don't understand hetrosexual couples who live together forever and have kids but don't get married. Marriage is a contract that protects you, your assets and your children in the event that something happens to the other person. I have nothing against people co-habiting (been there, done that), but I do think that if you're going to have kids together, then you should get married. Marriage, to me, is the definitive point where you stand up and go "yep, staying with you forever"
Oh, and I'm not Christian (I'm Gaian), but my parents have been married for 30 years, so maybe I'm a little bias.
Homosexual couples should be allowed to form legal partnerships (people who argue over calling them marriages are retarded, it doesn't matter what they're called as long as they get the same rights as married couples). They are being denied rights.
I have a couple of hetero friends who live together without being married. One of them went through a painful marriage and successive divorce and remains allergic to the institution. They did file for domestic partnership with the guy's employer though, which has provided some benefits for them without the accompanying terror.
Having said, that, in the most loose, biological and psychological terms, any couple who nests together is already in a "marriage relationship" regardless of law of paperwork. I lived with my wife for 18 months before we got legally married– nothing was different the day after we went to the courthouse after except we were short $40 for the marriage license and $15 for cab fare.
"I don't understand hetrosexual couples who live together forever and have kids but don't get married. … Marriage, to me, is the definitive point where you stand up and go "yep, staying with you forever"
I think you answered your own question. Many people are not comfortable with "Forever" and are not willing to stand before the government and their communities and make that pledge. That does not mean that they don't take marriage seriously. They probably take marriage more seriously that all the proponents of early marriage.
I don't understand all these comments (not just the one I'm replying to) that say that people should get married as soon as they are in a serious relationship, and then in the next breath say that divorce should be avoided at all costs. By not jumping into marriage, people are preventing divorce! And yes, there is a middle ground with shared housing, bills, real estate and children that don't require a Forever state of mind.
Lovely article – it's always nice to see people addressing non-traditional issues.
I would love to see reform in our laws and tax codes – everybody is single. Everybody can designate 1 other person (or children) to receive things like social security survivorship benefits or inheritance tax reductions. I think "marriages" should only be things people have in their own religious institutions or spiritual ceremonies – that if the government produces a license at all, that it be a "domestic partnership" license that applies for all people in the US regardless of sexuality. And really, so long as everyone can simply designate who they want to have all access (at hospitals' visiting hours/ICU, on taxes and bank accounts, insurance, etc) then why need a piece of paper from the government? Then marriage can be what it should be, strictly a religous/spiritual construct subject to each sect's rules and mores.
So sayeth a very contented, single atheist. *wink*
Wow, that's one of those markets I wouldn't have thought of by myself, but makes a lot of sense.
Since the long term unmarried couple is becoming more and more common, it makes sense that advice like this should be more widespread as well.
Whether or not a particular couple CAN or SHOULD get married, the fact is that there are many unmarried couples out there, and this book is an awesome and much-needed resource for them. Thank you for posting this, in spite of the inevitable can of worms.
Just because something works for you, doesn't mean it works for everyone.
I think there are actually more than those three categories mentioned. But I suppose they tend to be much smaller. A 4th category I know among my social circle are people who believe in practicing polyamory (different than polygamy), or open relationships. For them they've decided that they can have more than one deep and meaningful relationship at a time (as a note they tend to call the rest of us serial monogamists, because we have had multiple partners too, just not at the same time). So given that you can't legally be married to more than one person at a time, such legal measures are the only option for them as well.
To the people saying 'why not just get married'? I think that underscores the idea the marriage is the 'one true path' that people are expected to take. Why don't we ask everyone who's renting "Why don't you just buy a house". Just because it's the 'default' way to be, doesn't mean that it's right for everyone and the end path that we ALL should be expected to get to.
Sadly, Money without Matrimony is out of print which brings up an important point about most unmarried, co-habiting couples of whatever ilk — they rarely do all that they need to do legally to protect themselves and their partner. My informal survey of my office and its many co-habitating couples indicates that most haven't bothered with the protections available to them. Scarier still, so many couples, married and un, with children who wouldn't dream of letting their children ride a bike without a helmet, for example, fail to have a will, custodial arrangements in case or death or life insurance.
Thanks, JD for the article, which is very useful for the large number of us who are partnered (or planning such) but who do not plan to marry.
For people like me, there's little financial reason to get married, and a lot of reasons NOT to get married.
I was married. My ex husband left me with 2 kids. I'm middle aged, have a career, I have no problem supporting myself & my kids on my own. Since the divorce, I've been saving for my retirement and their college educations.
I believe that as a Christian, my first duty is to take care of my children–including providing for them financially. But putting everything, my kids' futures and all, at risk of the whim of a romantic partner is just not something I'm willing to do anymore. Marriage is a huge risk–you have to gamble that the person won't change. But people very often do and you can't predict what will happen in 10 or 20 or 30 years. It would just be irresponsible of me to marry some guy and hope it would turn out well.
There's no good financial reason for me to marry my boyfriend, and many good reasons not to. If we married, the "marriage tax" would kill us because we both have good salaries. Our joint medical benefits would be more expensive and would provide less total benefit to ourselves and our kids if we married (he has kids also that he has to take care of)–because of the family cap on things like HSAs. I have my own social security and retirement accounts, thanks–I'm not going to need his. We're old enough that we're not having any more kids ourselves so there's no need from that perspective either.
On the other hand, having gone through a divorce, I never again want to pay exorbitant attorney's fees and jump through legal hoops just to get an ex out of my life.
A medical power of attorney/health care proxy is a good idea for singles, too. And possibly a financial power of attorney as well. Since I'm single with no dependants, I'm not so concerned about my assets after death, but I was concerned about who would be making the decisions and taking care of my finances if I became temporarily incapacitated.
As always, I appreciate the reasonableness of discourse in the comments on this site (well enforced!)
In response to many of the comments above – this just reinforces to me the need for the government to get OUT of the marriage business, period. Everyone – gay or straight – should be entitled to a legal union with the same protections for all. Let churches give out marriage certificates, or not, according to their own beliefs.
Hell no. You got it backwards. Civil marriage (and divorce) was a huge step forward for civilization. I don't want to go back to the Middle Ages. Just look at Israel where there is no civil marriage– woman are often trapped by men who don't want to concede a divorce because the Chief Rabbinate controls marriage– a really backwards policy for those who are not Orthodox. The religious control of marriage also forces many Israelis to go to Cyprus (close) or elsewhere abroad in order to marry.
I want legal protections for my family without any religious intervention. I also want those legal protections extended to same-sex couples. It will happen, sooner or later, just like women got the right to vote and slavery was made illegal, so no need to throw out the baby with the bath water.
I agree with K.W., so long as the same benefits can be had without marriage I don't see why the government has to be a marriage licensor. However, I hadn't thought of our point El Nerdo – good one. You are totlaly correct that some religions are stricter than others when it comes to dissolution of a union.
JD, I'm surprised you didn't remove all the comments that, in response to this post about finances for unmarried couples, basically said "there shouldn't be any unmarried couples".
Those comments are off-topic and distract from what should be a very useful discussion to many people.
Unmarried couples do exist, and thus they need financial advice. People who want to deny the existence or unmarried couples, and people who want to try to force unmarried to stop existing by trying to shame them or legislate them out of existence, shouldn't be given any voice in this discussion.
What if you posted an article about financial strategies women can use who are trying to balance family & career, and some people insisted on commenting their opinion of how women can't & shouldn't try to do that because it's immoral or whatever?
Why stoop to censorship when you can school 'em.


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Although some writers did not like these, I think they are very good water shoes.
Men's Itasca Mississippi River Sandals
Item # WX2-236327
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- Details & Specs
Men's and Women's ItascaTM Mississippi River Sandals. All-day comfort on or off the water! PRICED RIGHT !
Enjoy the outdoors! These Itasca Mississippi River Sandals give you traction and comfort on the trail, the boat launch, stream crossings... anywhere you need it! Easy to slip on and off, while the neoprene construction dries FAST and cleans up in a cinch.Get your feet wet:
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State Colorand Full Size, as available in the Shopping Cart. Medium width. Half sizes, order the next larger full size. Order ONLINE Now!
- Reviews
Customer Reviews
This item was too small. Otherwise ok.
therse sandles are junk!!!!! in just 2 weeks the whole sole of one completely fell off. sportsman guide did stand behind them and refunding my purchase plus sending me a shipping lable.
I am so disappointed in my purchase.these werea father's day gift and the sandals were defective.the string at the toe were broken.I called to do exchange and was told that you had to recieve the shoe before you could ship another pair to us.Ourprinter was broken and it took over a week to get the return label.After7 days i called back because we hadnt recieved it and the woman told be that she would go ahead and sent the other pair before I returned the defective ones and they were sold out!
Light weight,stylish,tough,easy on the wallet.What's not to like?
Could have bought a larger size, but good quality.
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subset: commoncrawl


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Whether it's chicken or Chinese for dinner, there are a couple Toledo restaurants attracting some unwanted attention for having too many health violations.
Church's Chicken along Franklin Avenue in central Toledo is no stranger to the Restaurant Ratings Report, especially when 12 violations are working against it. Violations this time include a broken hot water faucet, a leaking sink, water dripping from a light onto food, and no paper towels or soap at a sink. Inspectors also found missing and cracked floor tiles, a large amount of rust on shelves and boxes of chicken being stored on wooden pallets, which can lead to a buildup of bacteria.
Three violations for King Garden on Monroe Street in central Toledo include chicken, fish, cut peppers and mushrooms found stored in a sink, no paper towels available at a sink, and raw chicken sitting above lettuce in a cooler, which can lead to cross-contamination.
Rudy's Hot Dog located along Sylvania Avenue in west Toledo earned another perfect inspection with zero violations. Inspectors say it's very clean and in good working condition.
Inspectors issued six violations at Robert's Food and Spirits on North Detroit Avenue in central Toledo. Raw shrimp needs to be put below corn bread in a cooler to avoid cross-contamination and possibly a foodborne illness. Chicken had to be tossed out because it was sharing sink space with dirty dishes, and inspectors reminded the owner not to bring food from home to serve.
Eight violations were issued for the City Diner on Monroe Street in west Toledo. Inspectors found a container of dressing in the ice machine, damaged floor tiles and a general cleaning needed along the entire cook line.
Sidelines Wings 'N Things on Mellwood Avenue in west Toledo is in great standing with county health inspectors with no violations to report.
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Injuries disrupt Lions
Lions caretaker coach Johan Ackermann has made one change to his starting XV for Saturday's clash with the Sharks in Johannesburg.
Ackermann, however, could make further changes to the side as there are still some injury concerns.
There is uncertainty whether lock Michael Rhodes will replace the injured Hendrik Roodt, while Jaco Taute could make his return to the run-on side in the place of Alwyn Hollenbach.
Hollenbach is still nursing an injury and his selection for Saturday's match will be confirmed only on Friday.
Lions: 15 Andries Coetzee, 14 Deon Helberg, 13 Lionel Mapoe, 12 Alwyn Hollenbach/Jaco Taute, 11 Ruan Combrinck, 10 Elton Jantjies, 9 Michael Bondesio, 8 Warren Whiteley, 7 Willie Britz, 6 Cobus Grobbelaar, 5 Franco Van der Merwe, 4 Michael Rhodes/Etienne Oosthuizen, 3 Jacobie Adriaanse, 2 Callie Visagie, 1 JC Janse van Rensburg (c).
Replacements: 16 Bandise Maku, 17 Ruan Dreyer, 18 Etienne Oosthuizen/Ruan Botha, 19 Jaco Kriel, 20 Ross Cronje, 21 Butch James, 22 Jaco Taute/Dylan des Fountain.


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How To Make a Homespun Holiday Tree
I live in a small home and finding a spot for the Christmas tree usually requires stacking one or two pieces of furniture in the corner. Not this year! I made a delightful tree that doesn't require any furniture removal. Read full instructions after the jump!
• 3-4 fallen tree branches
• 1 box of LED holiday lights
• a little creamy white yarn, trim or fabric
• a couple of bricks and a few tacks
Step 1- Gather fallen tree branches of varying lengths depending on your space.
Step 2- Anchor largest branch. My main branch is about six feet high and 1-2" in diameter, so I used a couple of bricks at the bottom to hold branch in place and then tied yarn around the top of the branch and extended to the corner of my ceiling. If your branch is heavy, use fishing line for appropriate weight.
Step 3- Tie smaller branches to main branch with yarn.
Step 4- Hang holiday lights from the branches (I found my LED star lights at IKEA).
Step 5- Wrap branches with scraps of yarn, trim and fabric.
Step 6- Plug it in and chant, "Fa la la la la, la la la la!"
Images: Alisha Peterson-Irwin
4 Comments
This is a great idea - I love it!
Nice. Is it a Christmas tree or a Holiday tree?..lol. It's ok to say it.
I also decorated a big branch this year in lieu of a tree... I'm calling it our festivus pole!
the stars are too cute - wish I had an Ikea nearby, I'd love some of those! (especially since we have some awesome branches in the backyard right now leftover from a storm that could use some festivity!)


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What to expect from Presidents' Day sales
Marked-down clothes, laptops and tools are likely some of the things you'll see on sale this Presidents' Day weekend.
This post comes from Marcy Bonebright at partner site DealNews.
While you might associate February with deals on Valentine's Day fare like chocolates and flowers, most of this month's sales will occur around Presidents' Day. Considered to be the first major sales day of the year by the retail industry, Presidents' Day boasts a ton of promotions on everything from clothing to computers.
But are any of these sales actually worth your time? We combed the DealNews archives from 2012 and 2013 to see what kind of discounts you can expect from this year's Presidents' Day sales.
Presidents' Day comes early, stays late
Although the Presidents' Day holiday only occurs on Monday, Feb. 17 this year, the sales could eat up nearly the entire month. In 2012, we saw the first Presidents' Day sale on Feb. 11. Last year, Bass Pro Shops started its Presidents' Day sale on Feb. 5!
Most merchants will begin their sales the Friday before Presidents' Day, and carry them through the weekend until Monday. That said, we saw the last Presidents' Day promotion of 2012 on the Friday after the holiday, and the last sale of 2013 happened on the Sunday after the holiday. If these trends hold, this year you can easily expect to be shopping Presidents' Day sales for about a two-week period.
Extra discounts for clearance clothes, but not for shoes
Winter apparel clearance is the name of the game for Presidents' Day clothing sales. And because we've seen extremely cold weather conditions this year, you can bet that retailers will be highly motivated to get rid of any excess outerwear they brought in to meet the increased demand. We saw deeper clearance discounts last year than in 2012, a trend that we're optimistic about seeing repeated in 2014. Expect to see sale and clearance apparel marked up to 67 percent off on average during Presidents' Day weekend.
Deep discounts in the clearance section are only half of the story, though. Most merchants will include a coupon with their Presidents' Day sales, taking 10 percent to 25 percent off orders. Some merchants will limit these coupons to just sale and clearance items, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Over the past two Presidents' Days, we've seen clearance-only coupons taking an extra 30 percent to 70 percent off these final-sale items. With savings like that around, who wants to shop the new arrivals?
Presidents' Day shoe shopping presents a slightly different outlook. Rather than letting customers rummage through massive clearance sections, shoe merchants tend to cut prices on a small selection of items, albeit with big discounts. If trends from the past two years hold up, you can expect shoe markdowns of about 72 percent off during Presidents' Day weekend. That said, most merchants won't offer additional discounts via coupons. Fortunately, many shoe retailers will offer coupons that bag free shipping.
Bargain laptops shine in a sea of mediocre electronics deals
Around Presidents' Day last year, we saw prices drop on budget laptops. Specifically, the best deals during this time last year were for 15" AMD dual-core systems, which fell as low as $205 — outside of Black Friday, that was the best price we saw in 2013 for these systems.
For Presidents' Day 2014, once again you should look to casual-use laptops for the best deals. You won't find much relief on gaming laptops or other powerful systems, but your basic builds could see overnight drops of $100 to $150 during Presidents' Day weekend. As we previously mentioned, the builds to keep your eye on this month are 15" Haswell Core i5 systems and touchscreen ultraportables.
Looking to score more electronics during this year's Presidents' Day sales? Maybe you should think twice. While merchants like Newegg and Best Buy will certainly have Presidents' Day sales, we haven't seen many truly spectacular deals in the past two years. The exception to this is storage deals, particularly with server-related hardware like NAS. Over the past two years, we saw an average savings of $48 on server storage during Presidents' Day sales, so this could be a good time to upgrade your home network.
Home & garden sales to (mostly) cheer about
Home goods tend to take center stage in a lot of Presidents' Day sales. This year, you can expect to see tons of offers on kitchenware, appliances, and tools, but not all of those deals are worth checking out. We'll break down the specifics in a second, but first let's talk coupons.
Big department stores like Macy's and Sears tend to offer a combination of coupons, with savings distributed differently depending on department. The name of the game here is exclusions, and they can be deal-killers. One example: Last year Macy's offered a coupon that took 10 percent to 15 percent off select items sitewide, but getting the 15 percent discount to apply took a lot of trial and error.
So what home goods should you be shopping for during Presidents' Day? Kitchen goods see very good discounts at this time, especially sale and clearance items. Extra discount coupons are not uncommon, taking 10 percent to 20 percent off sale purchases. For the best bargains, check out the cookware and small appliances. But don't expect to score free shipping; in-store pickup might be your best option on these items, if it's available.
Large appliances also see decent discounts during Presidents' Day weekend. Sears and Lowe's especially have offered a goodly number of appliance promotions over the past two years, taking 25 percent to 40 percent off select brands. With large appliances, look for stacking coupons that offer dollar-off discounts if you make a minimum purchase, such as $5 off $50 or $20 off $200.
With the sheer volume of tool promotions available during this time, Presidents' Day could be renamed "Tool Sale Day." Sadly, just because there are a ton of hardware deals doesn't mean these deals are especially good. About 13 percent of the tool deals we've seen on Presidents' Days past were hot enough to be marked Editors' Choice — to put that in perspective, about 15 percent of all the tool deals we've seen in the past two years were marked Editor's Choice.
If (for some reason) you're just dying to buy some tools during Presidents' Day weekend, you might score a bargain on a set of Craftsman tools, as the coupons from Sears and Kmart will most likely stack on these items.
As you're checking out this year's Presidents' Day sales, don't forget to take a moment to reflect on the men who've made this country great. Here's to Washington, Lincoln, and all the rest — and here's to you, deal-seekers! May you find all the clothing, laptops, and home goods you could ever want this Presidents' Day.
More articles from DealNews:
- What to expect from Valentine's Day deals
- The best and worst things to buy in February
- The future of credit card security
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Single-fold wallet with embossed Saint Laurent logo.
Dimensions: 11.0 x 9.0 x 2.0 cm
100% Calf-skin leather
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With spring break in full bloom for some, just around the corner for others and a host of one-day holidays, school scheduling
changes, and sick days that inevitably pop-up this time of year, having the kids home from school can seriously dampen the productivity rate of a work-from-home parent.
If you have school-age kids between the ages of 'toys are no longer a choking hazard' and 'mom, can I borrow the car,' you know firsthand the challenges having them home from school can present. Between providing some sort of entertainment for them while limiting screen time, breaking up fights between siblings, and generally tending to their daily needs – which can seem never ending – it's difficult to keep up with family tasks let alone stay on top of professional ones.
It is in this vein that we have created a list of sanity-saving tips for work-from-home parents who can't afford to let their professional productivity suffer just because their kiddos happen to be home from school.
1. Plan ahead
If you know ahead of time that your kiddo will be home from school (scheduled breaks vs. getting sick), you can try and even out your workload in anticipation of their being home. Get the heavy lifting done before break so your load is lighter during break.
"Knowing that they [the kids] will be home, I plan ahead. I try to get as much work done as I can beforehand. Scheduling activities in advance for them is also crucial for me." – Anne (National Marketing Director), mom to a 10 and 9 year old.
2. Schedule break time
Just as you might schedule a lunch hour for yourself on a regular work day, schedule a "play, entertain, lunch, talk, etc." time with your child when they are home. Set the expectation that you need to work during certain hours but your scheduled break time is all for them.
3. Work in small increments
School holidays mean adjusting your schedule and being flexible no matter what. With that in mind, try scheduling your work day in chunks. For instance, work with clients in different time zones during the hour or two that works best for them but follow that up with a kid break. Set aside another hour or two for a different task before your next kid break. Compartmentalizing the day in this way will help keep you on track but also allows you the flexibility to deal with other family-related things that pop up throughout the day.
4. Set up a productivity chart for the whole family
Remember those "chore charts" you had for your kids when they were little? Perhaps you still have one. In any case, setting up a "productivity chart" or "to accomplish list" for each member of the family is a good way to keep the kids busy while you focus on work. For example, list out the five things each person in the family wants or needs to get done on a given day or in a given timeframe. Schedule time where each person has the opportunity to work independently on their list (making phone calls for you, tidying rooms for the kids) and agree not to bother one another during this time.
5. Flip your work schedule
If you have the option, you might consider flipping your work day so that your days are free to be with your kids and evenings are designated work hours. This might mean an earlier bedtime or a little more TV in the evening for the kids but it means a few uninterrupted hours of productivity for you.
"I work from home so during school holidays I have to make sure my days are for the kids and the evenings are for work when my husband gets home. I do take 1 hour a day for a workout which helps to maintain my sanity and allows me to do something for myself." — Kelly (Project Manager), mom to an 8 and 5 year old.
6. Hire a babysitter or mother's helper
There is nothing wrong with hiring a sitter to act in your stead while you are in the house working. They keep the kids busy, fed, and entertained while you get work done. This can be an affordable solution especially given most sitters charge less if you are in the home while they are there.
7. Set up independent play plans
Dominoes. Legos. Reading. Each of these activities is perfectly suited for independent play. Negotiate a certain amount of time you want your child to spend on a given activity before needing your attention. For instance, ask your child to spend 20-30 minutes setting up a domino track alone before you come in to record the end result and final knock down. Or, have your child read 20 minutes independently before you come read to them. By doing so, you are allowing yourself enough time to send a quick email or make a phone call but still interacting and showing interest in your child's activity.
8. Move around the house – go wireless
If you feel you need to have a supervising eye on your little ones, you can always move around the house with them provided you have a wireless/mobile set-up. Take your laptop into the kitchen while your kids are eating; make a phone call from the back deck so you can look in on the kids through the window or sliding door; work on a project in a room adjacent to where the kids are playing. It's not ideal but it allows you to be physically close to your children as needed.
9. Set up playdates
Playdates are a great, guilt-free way to keep kids entertained so you can focus on work. If the playdate is at your house, it may be a bit louder for a few hours, but chances are you can close off a work space and tune the little monsters (I mean children) out for a while. If you need peace and quiet to do your thing, trading off playdate locations with a friend is a sound solution.
"I set up playdates where I have 4 kids for an afternoon, and the other mom has 4 kids for the next afternoon. That way we both get a free afternoon and the kids are happy." – Molly (Interior Decorator), mom to an 11 and 8 year old.
10. Check into day camps
Many organizations including the YMCA and Boys and Girls Clubs offer reasonably priced day camps during scheduled school breaks. You can check with your child's sports clubs (Martial Arts, Swim Team, Little League, etc.) to see what they might offer in terms of camps and small group lessons as well.
11. Set up easy-to-reach snacks
How many times do you hear, "Mom, I'm hungry" when your child is home from school? Growing-kid-hunger is a constant and can be a constant interruption when you are trying to work from home. Buy yourself some time and sanity by putting out easy to reach, make, or assemble snacks for your kids to get on their own; a cheese and cracker tray on a low shelf in the refrigerator, a bowl of washed fruit on the countertop, etc. Encourage their snack-time independence and relish the fact that you're not getting up every thirty minutes to satiate another hungry kid.
12. Let go of the guilt
Remember you can only do so much and some days that just might be putting on a movie for the kids, pouring a bowl of Cheerios for their snack, and putting in earplugs to tune out the background noise. It might not seem like it but you will be teaching your kiddos self-reliance and patience and demonstrating a positive work ethic. Enough said.


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Applicants for licensure by endorsement, renewal, or reinstatement who have not practiced as a nurse for 500 hours within the past 5 years or who have not graduated within the past 5 years must take a refresher course in order to meet the continued competence requirement for licensure. A Board approved refresher course (see below) must consist of a least 45 contact hours of theory and at least 30 contact hours of clinical. Nurses wishing to design their own course of study should contact:
Karen Bowen, RN, MS, Executive DirectorPO Box 94986Lincoln NE 68509e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com(402) 471-0317
Prior to participating in the clinical portion of a refresher course, a nurse must have a temporary permit.
The following is a list of refresher courses approved by the Nebraska Board of Nursing. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact our office at (402) 471-4376.
Professions and Occupations Home
Licensure Unit Home


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I've just got a new Laptop. I've installed all applications I need, for now. Are there any best practices or tips on how to keep my windows machine clean and running smoothly? Or do I have to re-install everything every 6 months?
Create a virtual machine and test new software on that before running it on your real machine. You can rollback changes and it keeps your main machine nice and clean.
These are all free to download:
Don't forget you'll need a second license for Windows for the virtual machine though.
Yeah, don't install crap on it unless 1) you trust the makers 2) you need it.
Also, RANU.
If you're really serious, give Microsoft's SteadyState a try. It will reset your computer each time you restart your computer. If you really need something to stick, then you can login as an admin.
CCleaner is a must. Also, if your laptop comes with a restore disc, restoring every 6-12 months is not a bad idea. Just make sure you keep your data on an external drive.
Try not to uninstall apps is my best advice, or at least think before installing. There's a lot of cruft added by apps you install (so much so there are dedicated tools to remove it). In fact it's worth installing tools such as Supercleaner to keep it running smoothly.
Try to install programs to one location where you possibly can (I used to have /PHP, /MySQL, /Python on my D: drive, but they've since gone to Program Files - sounds like nothing but it confused me since that's where I store actual files).
Try ccleaner - it is a free download
Don't browsing on untrusted sites.
Because the days of "Never touch a running system" are over (just too many patches nowadays), install Secunia PSI.
Get Glary Utilities, it sorts out a lot of the mess. Also, if you know what you are doing, disable a lot of the system services that are enabled by default, this should in most cases (and depending on what you disable) ensure smooth sailing - for the most part.
Also, when you delete/remove software. Don't use the 'on the fly' Shift-Delete method, in most cases software will be installed via an installer, so uninstall the software using the provided uninstaller. This should keep your registry cleaner.
Wipe it with a cloth :)
Take a look at DeepFreeze, although it may be overkill for your situation. (I'm not a Windows user, but I'm considering it for shared Macs at a school. It certainly locks things down very tight. Perhaps too tightly for you, but it's configurable and worth a look.)
You might find Returnil a useful addition, too. Essentially it allows you to run everything isolated from your real OS, once you reboot, everything is returned to the original state.
Check the Products tab, there is a free version.
Remove unnecessary startup programs by using the
Periodically clean out your registry with a program like CCleaner.
Use filehippo to detect and download program upgrades.
Defrag your hard drive when needed.
Make sure to have virus protection, like avast and do not open suspicious email or messenger links.
If you do all of these things, your computer should run smoothly.
Finally, windows can leak memory more than linux and the occasional unscheduled reboot does not hurt.


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Còmhradh, conaltradh agus cnuasachadh gach là. Debate, discussion and deliberation daily.
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Product DescriptionHot newTread pattern from Panaracer in 26" or 29" sizes. Lightweight folding kevlar bead, with ZSGTread compound for outstanding grip and durability. 26" - 700 grams, 29" - 788 grams All-mountain, all-conditionsTread pattern High air volume casing 35-55 PSI
Review Options: Sorted by Latest Review | Sort by Best Rating
|Reviews 1 - 15 (36 Reviews Total)
|| Next 15
User Reviews
Date Reviewed: February 19, 2014
Strengths: Solid tire for a good price, size seems fine on wider rims (29er version).
Weaknesses: Tends to wash out a little in the front if you are on dry composite type dirt like in the desert.
Bottom Line:
I moved to Vegas a few months ago and the grip on the hard desert dirt is not as good but still acceptible. The rocks have not destroyed the tire over the last few rides so that is good.
Date Reviewed: May 15, 2013
Strengths: Can run tubeless despite being a non UST tire.
Weaknesses: Heavy with rolling resistance
Bottom Line:
Date Reviewed: March 14, 2013
Strengths: none
Weaknesses: HEAVY, false advertising
Bottom Line:
Date Reviewed: May 4, 2012
Strengths: kevlar reinforcement, grippy on pavement
Weaknesses: slightly higher rolling resistance, slightly heavier
Bottom Line:
These tires grip and corner incredibly well on pavement. They're pretty loud on pavement or packed dirt roads. Since they run 2.35 (they're actually 2.25 measured), they theoretically have more surface area that hits the ground, which means more rolling resistance. I can kind of feel it, versus my previous set of tires, but it's been well worth the trade-off of no flat tubes.
Expand full review >>
Price Paid: $111.00
Purchased At: Amazon.com
Similar Products Used: Kenda Small Block8 29x2.1 with Mr. Tuffy tire liners
Bike Setup: 2012 Motobecane Fantom 29PRO SL, Panaracer Rampage 2x2.35 kevlar tires, Bontrager Evoke R saddle; for full list of components, go here: http://www.bikesdirect.com/products/motobecane/fantom29pro_SL_xii.htm
Date Reviewed: September 3, 2011
Strengths: Stable feeling, cornering, grip.
Weaknesses: None.
Bottom Line:
Very easy to install on rims, contrary to the XC Fire Pros which are a PITA.
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: Less than 1 month
Price Paid: $35.00
Purchased At: Jenson USA
Similar Products Used: Panaracer XC Fire Pro 2.1
Bike Setup: Giant Anthem X4
Date Reviewed: May 29, 2011
Strengths: If your weak at trailside tube repair buy these you will be an expert after a couple trail runs
Weaknesses: Wash out anywhere anytime no warning, If you sneeze they will pinch flat
Bottom Line:
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: Less than 1 month
Price Paid: $36.00
Purchased At: Online
Similar Products Used: Intense DC,Fro Lites,Minions,Holy Rollers Too many to carry on
Bike Setup: Transition Bottle Rocket,Azonic Outlaws
Date Reviewed: May 13, 2011
Strengths: This is a great all arounder tire. The volume is good, the grip is predicable and the compliance is a perfect.
Review based on 29er version.
Weaknesses: I never really found any.
Bottom Line:
Some say they don't roll well but I found them no less laborious to roll as the Geax Saguaro which is often said to be a good rolling tire.
I generally rode the front tire in reverse of the rear with the rear set to climb and the front set to brake.
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: More than 3 years
Price Paid: $40.00
Purchased At: Trisports.com
Bike Setup: Salsa El Mariachi Rigid
Date Reviewed: February 14, 2011
Strengths: Grips like I am glued to the ground. I was astonished by how at one me, the bike and the ground were when I took them cross country with it wet and muddy.
Weaknesses: None yet found
Bottom Line:
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: Less than 1 month
Price Paid: $50.00
Purchased At: LBS
Similar Products Used: None to speak of
Bike Setup: XTC3
Date Reviewed: March 30, 2010
Strengths: Traction. these things hook up and don't let go. tough as nails
Weaknesses: a bit heavy and a bit slow but the hookup like crazy so who cares. seem to wear fast.
Bottom Line:
Rampages are also tough as hell i ride on alot of jagged rock, and my local trail system is also a party spot for kids IE a ton of broken glass. I have yet to get a flat because of either one. Rode these in the winter in maine also. hooked up nicely on snow. better then expected.
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: 1 Year
Price Paid: $35.00
Purchased At: eBay ben's cycles ma
Similar Products Used: Exi's
Bike Setup: Gt peace 9r ss BB7's surly hubs semi disc hoops origin 8 carbon fork. rampages
Date Reviewed: November 23, 2009
Strengths: -Grippy in loose-over-hard conditions
-Mounts perfectly to WTB Laser Disc rims
-High volume cush
Weaknesses: -Slow on pavement/hardpack
-Kinda heavy
Bottom Line:
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: 3 months
Price Paid: $32.00
Purchased At: Pricepoint
Similar Products Used: Maxxis Ignitor
Bike Setup: Redline D460 full-rigid 29er, 1x9 drivetrain
Date Reviewed: August 28, 2009
Strengths: Cheap tubeless set.
Weaknesses: Round. NOT a 2.35 as claimed. Flexy in the corners. Washouts galore. Terrible hookup on loose terrain. Ugg.
Bottom Line:
Expand full review >>
Price Paid: $30.00
Purchased At: Speedgoat
Similar Products Used: What is w/ the 29er market going all cross-country all the time. It reminds me of 1995.
Bike Setup: Niner Rip 9. Stan's flow w/ King hubs.
Date Reviewed: April 15, 2009
Strengths: A fantastic front tire, and works very well as a rear tire as well. Tread is a near copy of the Nevegal, but I prefer these as they have been much more durable with less rolling resistance. And they work everywhere - one of the best all-around tires I've used. I know some folks have reported mud and in-the-wet problems, but I find them to be fine in such conditions; I've certainly used far worse.
Weaknesses: Only one in my experience: it comes up short on tactile 'feel' for lack of a better word. I don't want to say they feel dead - because they don't - but there is a lack of knowing how they are reacting to the terrain underfoot as it were.
Bottom Line:
Expand full review >>
Price Paid: $32.00
Similar Products Used: Kenda Nevegals being the closest in similarity ... but so, so many tires tried.
Date Reviewed: March 8, 2009
Strengths: This tire is awsome!! I have rocked it for 2 seasons now. One gnarly east coast season and one sweet flowy season in Colorado. The side knobs are super grippy in all conditions. The center tread it very efficient rolling for how agressive it is. This tire maintains good traction strait and cornering at higher pressure.
Weaknesses: Not done in UST
Bottom Line:
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: 2 Years
Price Paid: $35.00
Purchased At: shop where i work
Similar Products Used: Nevengal, 2.4 and 2.1 Fire,Smoke/dart, Specialized Resolution, Python, WTB ExiWolf
Bike Setup: 07 Stumpjumper King/Mavic 819 wheels and other candy parts.
Date Reviewed: January 19, 2009
Strengths: Actually sheds mud!! Great cornering.
Weaknesses: The ramps on the center treads takes a little away from the braking.
Bottom Line:
The Rampages have just enough tapering on the knobs to fling of the mud, they corner great and aren't reliant on a single center tread bead. I was a fan of the XC Fires on the 2.1-XC realm and the Rampages are now my new favorites in the 2.35 AM space.
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: Less than 1 month
Price Paid: $33.00
Purchased At: Jenson
Similar Products Used: XC Fire 120 tpi, Kenda Nevegals, Small Block 8, WTB Velociraptors.
Bike Setup: SC Blur LT2. XO, WCS Ritchey, Juicy Carb, Easton Havoc AM, Joplin remote, Talas 140 RLC and RP23 rear.
Date Reviewed: November 13, 2008
Strengths: they make me happy while cornering.light for size 2.35 and 700gns
Weaknesses: wet rocks, 2.35 nevagels sticky compound grip the wet rocks better.
Bottom Line:
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: 2 Years
Price Paid: $38.00
Purchased At: jt cycles sonora ca
Similar Products Used: jones acx,pana xc pros ,weir wolfs, stouts,prowlers,
Bike Setup: 5" front and back
|Reviews 1 - 15 (36 Reviews Total)
|| Next 15
Review Options: Sorted by Latest Review | Sort by Best Rating
Related Rampage Forum Posts
Ridgeline Rampage - 1 Lap Scout Video
Went out Saturday to scout out the Ridgeline Rampage course. Hopefully the trail conditions will be good despite todays snow. Anyway, just sharing a full lap video for those who are curious about what the ride looks like. It's 50 minutes long. You can opt into YouTube's HTML5 beta test and get f ... Read More »
2013 Black Bear Rampage is on!
2013 is the 7th year of the Black Bear Rampage and we have a great day planned! We are adding a tandem class for the 20 mile course and keeping all of the other race categories. The 20 mile course is for beginners, whilst the 40 mile course has options for beginner, sport, expert and pro racers. ... Read More »
Anyone try the new Fox Rampage Pro?
I am really wanting this helmet but have no way to try one on locally. I wanted to know if anyone has tried one on yet. The standard Rampage was to narrow for my head and the face part was really close to my grill. I wanted to know if the fit is the same between the two. I have a Troy Lee D3 in ... Read More »
tire to replace Rampage?
Been a few years since I've had a new tire and need some new ones. Currently use a Panaracer Rampage 29x2.35 which I've liked. What's the latest best alternative? 5" full suspension on mostly Rocky Mountain dirt and rock if that helps. Can go a touch wider without rubbing.Read More »
Rampage 2010 documentary now streaming on Netflix
It's a 26 minute Redbull Media House production. I hadn't seen it before. Pretty good. Better coverage than most of what I saw from 2012.Read More »


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Unconventional looks and a perfect fit make for a rare combination in the Pyramid. Made to fit easily under your existing overhead cabinets, its expressive design still embodies the look and feel of a chimney style hood. An adjustable back panel accommodates a variety of cabinet depths and puts cooking utensils within easy reach.
Shipping Weight: 60 lbs
Shipping Method: UPS
290 CFM Internal Blower
3.2 Sones Maximum Noise Level
Mechanical slide control
3 Speed Levels
2 Halogen Lamps
Dual-level lighting
2 Metal Mesh Filters
Recirculating option (ZRC0200)
Adjustable utensil bar


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All Customer Reviews for "HJC IS-Max Bluetooth Helmet - Black"
Average Customer Rating:
Write a review and share your thoughts with others.
Reviewer: Brian (Bellaire, TX) 1.22.2014
HJC Helmet review
Good product for the money. The sizing seems a little small. Glad I ordered a 3X. But most helmets are that way. Fit and finish are good. but the latch seems a little weak
Reviewer: darryl miltimore (dalton, ga.) 10.1.2012
hjc flip face helmet
this helmet is great. like the flip-up and don't have to wear sun glasses under the shield. and your 2-day shipping was great too. i couldn't be happier. thanks, darryl
Reviewer: Renato daSilva (Norwalk, CT) 9.27.2012
Exceptional Service
I m very happy with my new helmet and also you guys rock with delivery time, I got my helmet in two days. Thanks.
Reviewer: Janice Nishimoto (Larkspur, CA) 4.12.2012
Awsome Fit !!!
This helmet is awesome, I tried on lots of them before deciding on this one. If you're looking for style and comfort I highly recommend it. Thanks for having them available to try on at the International Motorcycle Show. Ride On !!
Reviewer: Dan Brah (hartford, wisconsin) 3.19.2012
is my head that fat?
it's the only XXXL helmet out of several different brand names, that would fit my head. I like it. it's cool looking. I think this modular helmet is slick. manufacturers of helmets need to revise their helmet sizing.
Reviewer: Marian Williams (Valatie, NY) 3.13.2012
Tons of features
I can't say enough about the integrated sun visor! No more fumbling for sunglasses when you are in and out of the sun and shade. This helmet is also light weight and comfortable.
Reviewer: Dave Oren (Lino Lakes, Minnesota) 11.16.2011
Go Fast and Safe by being able to SEE
You can't be safe and fast if you can't see. The integrated sun shield allow riding from day to night with a touch of a button. No compromises in a tinted shield. It easily transitions from the road to the snow with a double lens clear shield for the cold I am planning on using the blue tooth for streaming music not to have some one talking in my ear while dodging trees through the woods on my sled.
Reviewer: Gordon N (Seattle, WA) 5.25.2011
Best Helmet I've ever owned!
This helmet is very comfortable, reasonably quiet, and so practical. I love the flip down sunshade, the flip-up chin, and the top-quality paint. I do wish it were fully painted without the plastic section up top, but that's a small issue. It felt a little too tight at first, and I almost returned it, but after wearing it a couple of weeks, it is now a perfect fit. Haven't fitted a bluetooth device to it yet
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- Mohammad Mohammadipour
- Gonbad-E Qavous
- Iran
This conversation is closed.
Can Money Buy Happiness?
Maybe more cash does make people happier. Especially salient are analyses done by University of Pennsylvania economists Daniel Sacks, Betsey Stevenson, and Justin Wolfers. In their updated 2010 study, "Subjective Well-Being, Income, Economic Development and Growth," the three compare subjective well-being survey data from 140 countries with those countries' income and economic growth rates. The researchers find that within individual countries richer people are happier than poorer; people in richer countries are happier than people in poorer countries; and over time increased economic growth leads to increased happiness. "These results together suggest that measured subjective well-being grows hand in hand with material living standards," they conclude..
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Feb 19 2013: True happiness comes from the natural joy that is in all people at birth. As we face more unhappy events, that natural joy diminishes. The negative we face, blinds us to our true joyfull, loving nature and our mind becomes filled with confusion. We can re-find our inner joy by getting free if the past infuences, which is done by focusing on the present, existing as a part of the One Life, rather than all of a temporary self. Peace is now. Love is now. Joy is now.
An enlightened person, aware of their essence is consciuos present time Being can only be peaceful, loving and Joyful
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Men Fitness & Training
Training Quarter Sock - 2 Pair
$ 12
Color Black / Charcoal (Q25184)
Free Shipping & Returns
Free & fast delivery on all orders, every day. Free returns, excluding custom shoes.
You may also like
Product Information
Train with confidence and style in the Training Quarter sock. The secure quarter fit is perfect for all sports, while the comfort-minded construction and moisture-wicking Cool Pass technology help you keep your cool. Two pairs included.
- 144 needle Cotton/Polyester blend with spandex for shape retention and targeted terry cushioning to soften impact
- Quarter cut sock with arch gripper for more secure fit
- Cool Pass moisture wicking technology with X-shaped channels to aid moisture diffusion that keep feet dry, cool and comfortable
- Small fits shoe size 3.5-7, Medium fits 7.5-9, Large fits 9.5-12, X-Large fits 12.5-15