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[QUOTE]Originally posted by fille_francaise: [QB] You're absolutely right, LucysDiamonds. & it sounds so simple when you say it outloud. I'm having such a war within with all of this right now. It's awfully confusing. My boyfriend & I have been discussing it all week, but we got further into discussion this morning. & it's left me feeling very confused. What to raise our kids, what not to raise our kids; our wedding ceremony, the vows; how to celebrate holidays; how to find compromise that our beliefs are completely different. These are all issues that haven't come up yet & won't come up yet for some time, but I feel they are important nonetheless. & being that I haven't done this sort of thing, I don't know what it fair & how to compromise with such a serious subject. Is it possible to just live in peace & love your partner in a beautiful relationship, without the confusion & technicality of religious beliefs? It is possible to make "religion" & "beliefs" the minority of the relationship & keep love, trust & communication as the majority? I've always been brought up to make God [religion, so to speak] the center of your relationships, as it keeps the relationship together. You know that old saying: A couple that prays together, stays together. Because this relationship won't have religion as the complete foundation, I feel like I am doing something wrong; that I am sinning. Yet, on the other hand, it feels right to be with him & to be in love with him. He's so incredibly intellectual & he has such a good head on his shoulders. He's charming & very loving. I know that if I spent a lifetime with him, it wouldn't be in vain. He would give me the life I well deserve... but it's been said that all of that goes out the door because we're not equally yoked & that is the most important thing. ?! This is really testing my own faith & understanding, most definitely. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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Member # 20075
This is an issue I am currently dealing with. I want to know if there are others that have the same... predicament, so to speak.
I apologize in advance if this is supposed to be in another place.
Right now, I'm having to deal with my parent's opinion [mostly, my father's] of my boyfriend having buddhist beliefs. I keep my relationship with God private & I treat it very delicately. Upon meeting my boyfriend, I had never dated anyone outside of my own religion. It's not that I never wanted to, but that most of the people that hung around with shared the same beliefs as I did. I fell in love with my boyfriend for his mind, not his beliefs. This hasn't stopped us from loving each other & having a good relationship. In fact, our beliefs -- morals, standards, goals, spirituality -- are very much similar & his faith in God in his own way inspires me to have more faith myself. I respect him wholeheartedly for the way he thinks, as he does with me. We have no problem with his being a "buddhist" & my being a "christian." The problems we are facing are the opinions of others, preferrably my father. He believes that it's unnecessary & wrong for me to date my boyfriend because of the differences in our beliefs. He thinks we'll encounter problems along the way & simply cannot agree with our decision to continue to be together. We spent most of the night arguing about it.
Although the simplest answer to this problem is to continue to maintain a relationship with my boyfriend, regardless of other's opinions [I am an adult, afterall], it's not easy when there is such strong opposition coming from a very important person in your family.
I was just curious to know how other's feel about it. I know some are completely against interfaith relationships while others find a common ground somehow.
I also want to know: when did things like religion, sexual preference, & certain morals make more of ruckus than the biggest picture, which is genuine love & compatibility in a relationship? That to me is much more important. & why must there be such a big issue surrounding this? I guess the answer is obvious; but why must it be this way?
Sorry; this is sort of a venting session on my part. ;/ Again, if this is in the wrong place, or if this is a presumptuous topic to get on, excuse me. :]
Gumdrop Girl
Member # 568
I'm a Buddhist, and I used to date a churchy Lutheran.
We had some philosophical differences, but for a relationships we both knew wasn't going to be forever, it didn't become a huge issue for us. Still, his faith influenced his opinions on more mundane things that did affect our relationship - ABORTION, primarily. And I don't think he liked not having a companion for Bible Study.
Anyway, for Buddhists, dating outside the faith isn't a huge deal. We don't even require our followers to be exclusive to Buddhism. In certain places (LIKE AMERICA), the sparse number of Buddhists means it's just more feasible to date outside the religion. I can't say I've ever had a serious relationship with another Buddhist. Closest I got was the phone number of a Buddhist I met in a nightclub.
So ask yourself this: do you foresee yourself making decisions like "which religion will we teach our children?" with your bf? or will we put up a Xmas tree AND a Buddha altar (we had both in my home)? And who would preside over the wedding?
Still, I think my ex has sworn off non-Christian girls after having put up with me for 3 years.
as for wanting to live in LA... if you spent a day in the town where i grew up, you'd understand why I think LA is a vast improvement. nonetheless, i'd rather be in the bay area.
[ 02-02-2007, 12:21 AM: Message edited by: Gumdrop Girl ]
Member # 27966
Interfaith relationships can be pretty tough sometimes, I gotta say.
I'm an Orthodox Christian, and while my boyfriend is the same, we've known many people in interfaith relationships who have found ways to make it work.
I'm so glad to hear that you two are doing well in terms of avoiding any conflicts with each other- often THAT'S the biggest roadblock when people are of different faiths.
Did you tell your dad the same things you've posted here- like how you two have found some common ground with your beliefs?
You know, to be perfectly honest, you may not be able to convince your dad through debate that what you have is a good thing... but perhaps you can convince him through example? Let him see that you two are happy together; that you don't spend your time arguing doctrine.
And while it does seem a little too simple, it's still true- you make your own decisions, and it's really not up to your dad to decide for you whether or not you should be dating a person of a different faith. Sometimes it can be rough, but it really is for the best to be independant.
I'm curious- what ways have you and your partner found to avoid/deal with any religious conflicts, if you've had any?
[And I have to add, Gumdrop Girl makes a really good point- if you do plan to have a future with him, you do have to address those issues for sure, as they can be a source of a lot of trouble for some.]
[ 02-02-2007, 12:30 AM: Message edited by: leabug ]
History Maker
Member # 31061
Hey! I'm also a Christian. Hmm so you quoted the following:
[I was just curious to know how other's feel about it. I know some are completely against interfaith relationships while others find a common ground somehow.
I also want to know: when did things like religion, sexual preference, & certain morals make more of ruckus than the biggest picture, which is genuine love & compatibility in a relationship? That to me is much more important. & why must there be such a big issue surrounding this? I guess the answer is obvious; but why must it be this way?]
I'm not the greatest at explaining things so do ask for clarification if I confuse you. You asked for other people's opinion therefore I will tell you mine. Most of my opinions and values are based on Christianity. Therefore, I wouldn't date (yoke with non-believers) because a relationship beyond friendships requires unity of the spirit which is same-based belief of the two. I believe we as a human being all have a void which only God can fulfill. I would want to be involved with church life while a non-christian boyfriend may only attend church with me whenever it's Christmas or Easter. I would love to have someone to pray with me and encourage me through words in the bible to edure through the tough times making our love stronger.
The bible also tells us that our body is a temple of the holy spirit and sex is only ok within the parameter of marriage. I look at it as sex is fire..it's warm and everything and marriage is the fireplace. If the fire is lit anywhere else but the fireplace, it will bound to burn the house down and destroy "us" emotionally having that "soul-tie" I agree with what you're saying about the "bigger-picture" which you mentioned genuine love. However, he may look at love as physical love ..temptating you. So I must say, there are many reasons of why this is a big issue. At last, give your worries to God and He will guide you if you seek Him.
Member # 31974
Righty-o well, I'm Unitarian, which is one of the more accepting faiths certainly, and my last boyfriend was Orthodox Jewish. He had kind of the same dynamic going on with his mom as you seem to with your dad. However, faith was never an issue for us, and neither were his parents opinions, really, since we were 15 and 16, and so definatly did not plan to have children together. I was abosultely crazy about him, so what he believed and what I believed made no difference. But, had it been a more long term realtionship (it lasted almost a year, but say we were dating for three years, or seomthing) the issue of synagogue vs. church may very well have arisen. So really, I tihnk it's all up to you - is this a relationship wherein you definatly see a future? And if so, are you able to talk about things like marriages, children's faiths and such? (as Gumdrop already mentioned). Even if you won't wind up agreeing on every thing, I tihnk a great start would be just opening thaty sort of thing up for discussion. I suppose that as long as you're willing to compromise and not immolate your relationship based on who believes what, then you should be alright. If it really *is* important to you though, to keep your life centered firmly around all aspects of your faith, this might not win up the best long term realtionship. Best of luck ♥
Member # 20075
Wow; I'm so glad that I got responses. :] I was afraid that this topic wouldn't fly over too well.
I have talked to my boyfriend about the issues surrounding our interfaith. What we'd like to raise our children -- if we have them -- is definitely something very important. But we both have chosen not to discuss this topic just yet because kids aren't in our future right away. Thankfully, he has mentioned that he gained most of who he is today -- his mannerisms, morals, values & beliefs -- through that of Christianity & the Bible [he was raised Christian & Mormon]. & that he wouldn't mind raising his children Christian. So, I suppose you could say that we've gotten that covered, but we haven't spoke about it since. I'm really quite tired of all the fuss surrounding this.
I have talked to my dad about how happy my boyfriend makes me & to me, that is the most important thing. Our compatibility & love for one another. But, still, my dad sees it useless for us to date. Quite like what History Maker said. He practically echoed what my own parent's have said about it. & I'm not downing either for the way they believe because I understand that & believe the same thing as well. Afterall, I was raised Christian. Maybe I don't have enough spirtitual conviction; that may be the problem. I just don't see how I could ever stop being with my Lover because of his beliefs. I love him; it would be so shallow of me, in my opinion, to say to him that we shouldn't be together because of our beliefs. & also, if it's such a terrible thing for us to be together, why in the world would God bring us together? To give us feelings for one another like this? It's all one big, confusing circle I keep going around... I don't expect to find the answer here of course, just solace in other's opinions & stories.
& also, Gumdrop Girl: my signature is a song from Death Cab for Cutie. :] I actually live near LA. I prefer the bay area myself.
[ 02-02-2007, 11:17 AM: Message edited by: fille_francaise ]
Member # 30315
Just to add my own story here:
My mother was raised strongly Catholic, and my father was raised Protestant - when they got married, they agreed to raise their children (my sister and myself) without any religious beliefs. As a result, I'm a pretty hard-core agnostic (my interpretation of this is just that I don't know whether there is a God of any sort, and I don't think that it's my place to declare his/her/its existence or nonexistence). My boyfriend is Reform Jewish, and while not incredibly religious, he does of course participate in the traditions and holidays and all that. We haven't really spoken about what religion to raise our kids or anything, but I'm fairly sure there will be a healthy dose of Judaism in their upbringing, which is perfectly okay with me. We might do the half/half upbringing, celebrating Christmas and Hanukkah, etc. (I will admit that I LOVE Christmas trees, so I may insist on getting one just for the sake of getting one... maybe make it a Hanukkah tree?
) - I'm saying this to show you that it's possible, if you're both spiritual people, which it seems that you are, to combine your beliefs in a way that doesn't marginalize either one. And it does seem like you've already begun to do this, so good job!
Also, just my thoughts, but if there is a God, and he/she/it is benevolent and forgiving, then I would imagine that true spirituality in itself, not necessarily affiliated with a specific religion, is sufficient to demonstrate your faith. And it may be that he/she/it brought the two of you together to unite your beliefs and show you that religions aren't incompatible, because really, everyone is worshipping the same figure/entity if you think about it. They all just call him/her/it different names. Love thy neighbor, right?
Member # 20075
You're absolutely right, LucysDiamonds. & it sounds so simple when you say it outloud. I'm having such a war within with all of this right now. It's awfully confusing.
My boyfriend & I have been discussing it all week, but we got further into discussion this morning. & it's left me feeling very confused. What to raise our kids, what not to raise our kids; our wedding ceremony, the vows; how to celebrate holidays; how to find compromise that our beliefs are completely different. These are all issues that haven't come up yet & won't come up yet for some time, but I feel they are important nonetheless. & being that I haven't done this sort of thing, I don't know what it fair & how to compromise with such a serious subject.
Is it possible to just live in peace & love your partner in a beautiful relationship, without the confusion & technicality of religious beliefs? It is possible to make "religion" & "beliefs" the minority of the relationship & keep love, trust & communication as the majority? I've always been brought up to make God [religion, so to speak] the center of your relationships, as it keeps the relationship together. You know that old saying: A couple that prays together, stays together. Because this relationship won't have religion as the complete foundation, I feel like I am doing something wrong; that I am sinning. Yet, on the other hand, it feels right to be with him & to be in love with him. He's so incredibly intellectual & he has such a good head on his shoulders. He's charming & very loving. I know that if I spent a lifetime with him, it wouldn't be in vain. He would give me the life I well deserve... but it's been said that all of that goes out the door because we're not equally yoked & that is the most important thing.
This is really testing my own faith & understanding, most definitely.
Member # 25425
My best friend and first big love is Christian, and I am Atheist. When we were dating it wasn't a huge issue for us, because we were young and not worried about how this would affect marriage and kids and the whole deal. But we got into a lot of discussions on the topic and I have to confess that many times, I just could not understand at all where he was coming from (and I know he felt the same regarding my opinions). But we always, always respected each other's views.
His current girlfriend is a Christian, like him. While it wasn't the reason why we broke up, it was part of the reason why we did not get back together years later and I know that he's glad he's with someone now who shares his views. And though religion is not a deal-breaker for me, I really don't think I want to date someone again who's deeply devout.
I don't want to sound too negative. I definitely think it's possible to have a functioning interfaith relationship. But depending how deelpy rooted (and how different from each other!) it can get really difficult to integrate the two faiths.
Member # 32184
A lot of people have given some really good points on this thread...
From my own experience, my mother is a(n admittedly lackadaisacal) Catholic and my father was raised Orthodox Jewish. They argued like you wouldn't believe about what faith to bring me up in... and in the end didn't reach a conclusion at all. Instead, they both blessed me as their faiths dictated and tried to teach me about the different aspects of their religions, and ultimately left the choice up to me. I really, really appreciate it now that I'm older, and although my current and past SOs have been along the same lines as me, faithwise, I want to do the same for my children.
I think Interfaith relationships take a lot of work and understanding between both parties, but that they can be done. BOTH parties have to make the effort, though, and I've seen several cases where they *didn't* end happily because of just that.
Member # 3
A couple that prays together, stays together.
I hate to be a party pooper, but did you know that divorce rates in the U.S. are HIGHEST in the Bible Belt, and among Judeo-Christians (born-again and conservative christians are actually the ones that usually top the census rosters with divorce rates amoung all christians: lutherans, apparently, amoung rates for all christian denominations, usually have the lowest rates of that group)? Interestingly, the lowest rates of divorce (in the U.S. anyway) per religion are among atheists (of which most sects of Buddhism are generally considered, since that may be of interest to you) and agnostics, and in states and areas with more diverse faith-mingling. Sadly, lines like that pray together/stay together stuff, and attitudes like that, generally tend to make the religious folks who do get divorced or have relationships fall apart feel even more guilty and isolated than they do already, too, and can also contribute to relgious people not really getting that they still have to tend to their relationships mindfully and with a lot of investment like anyone else for them to work. I mean, if you believe in a God, likely you think God takes care of a lot of things, but he or she still isn't going to take out the trash for you or split the chores, manage finances fairly, communicate with your partner for you, or take care of all the things in a relationship and life together that need tending to.
So, I'm not so sure that's true. Obviously, everyone's spiritual belief system (for those who have one) varies, and some dictate or suggest that given relationships are supposed to include or be dictated by certain faiths, edicts, dogma, what have you.
But from a perspective of relationships, they're about people's whole lives. Certainly, if your religion is a BIG part of your life, the religion or belief system of your partner (or your/their ethics and polictics about your relgion or theirs) being in a big conflict IS likely to be a big issue. For instance, while my Buddhism isn't in conflict with most other religions, my politics and things like feeling very strongly about the full ownership of my body and equality of my sex are, so there's no way I could have a solid or supportive intimate relationship with a conservative christian or catholic.
(Of course, it's perhaps worth mentioning that what people say they subscribe to and what they do differs. For instance, if this is the first person you dates outside your relgion, that means that the ex-boyfriend who raped you in the relationship shared your religion, which clearly didn't guarantee a good anything, or even a treatment of you that's in line with most denominations of Christianity. Did your father agree with that? Just food for thought.)
All in all, I don't buy that agreement on spirituality is the most important part of a relationship, but then, that whole idea isn't part of my spiritual tradition, my ehtics, my politics, my mindset. If it IS part of yours, then it is, and that's something to bear in mind when you're dating and forging relationships from the get-go.
I have a book to suggest for both of you that may help create a more productive and informaed discussion of this, on where Buddhism and Christianity interesct, called
Living Buddha, Living Christ
, by Thich Nhat Hanh. Go take a peek at it, might help.
I think what might also help is taking some time -- just for yourself -- to figure out how YOU feel about your religion, where YOU really stand with it, and how imprtant it really is to you. So many young people reared in one relgion often don't really give themselves the chance to ask tough questions about it, as they're stepping into adulthood, what they were raised with is what is really best for them, and even totally separate from relationship issues, that's a really important thing to do.
[ 02-02-2007, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]
Member # 8067
Just to add to the Thich Nhat Hanh recommendation - you might also be interested in checking out some of the Christian thinkers who've been influenced by Buddhism, like Thomas Merton.
There are a whole bunch of people who are strongly rooted in one particular religion and in their spirituality, but not necessarily framing it in terms of one religion "versus" other religions.
Member # 20075
Heather -- you were very informative. Thank you. I will certainly make sure to look up the book you mentioned. :] Matter of fact, I'm sure my boyfriend has heard of them. He's a bookworm.
I never heard those statistics before; they fail to mention that at church. ;/ Churches speak so badly about how the Lord abolishes divorce, yet, the rates are higher in Christians. Ironically, my parents -- who were/are devout Christians -- are getting a divorce after 20-something years of marriage. I have never quite believed that saying [a couple that prays together, stays together] because as you said, prayer doesn't take out the trash, handle finances, etc. Obviously, a relationship requires much MORE than just prayer in order for it to function correctly. I see things as you see them.
I wouldn't quite say that I am what they call a "devout" Christian. Religion isn't my whole life; I will be honest & admit that. Of course I have my own relationship with God in my own way, but I don't feel I must go to church & must read the Bible to be considered spiritual. I know this disappoints my parents. Truth of the matter is, I'm still trying to find my way with this whole religion thing. Trying to explain this to them is difficult, though. & they're not so easy at understanding my point of view. Now, they feel as though THEY have done something wrong in raising me because I'm not a "Jesus Freak."
You're absolutely right on all counts about my ex-boyfriend & his beliefs & the way he treated me inspite of them. No, I haven't explained that to my father in reference to me -- he doesn't know about what happened, mind you -- but I did mention that there are many relationships where people are completely steady in their religion, yet they're unhappy & divorced; I asked him to explain this & he couldn't. I wish I could say that I rest my case, but it's so difficult.
I appreciate everyone's words of wisdom regarding this. It's helping me see that there is more culture in the world than I thought. :}
James the Dark
Member # 32379
I don't know how much I can help, but I feel I should throw my two proverbial cents out there.
I am an agnostic, and I believe, as my grandfather once said, that the reason there are doors on bedrooms is to keep out pets, children, lawyers and priests. While it is hopelessly optomistic of me to say that religion shouldn't play a major role in a relationship, to make it a defining point, to me, at least, is something I would never do. I doubt I will ever find somebody sharing my particular beliefs, and I'm not troubled by that. The point is that if you connect with somebody, faith shouldn't stand in the way.
Conversely, if you have a person who
reconcile his beliefs and your own, or worse,
choses not to
do so, then there is a gulf existing which might be insurmountable from the beginning. I guess the question falls onto the extent of his faith, and how far he's willing to 'bend' it to accomodate a separate, or even opposing, viewpoint.
If he can't accept you and your beliefs... well... I don't remember who said it, but "feel free to welcome God into your house, but don't bother setting a place for Him at dinner."
That's just how I see it.
Member # 20075
Interestingly said, James the Dark. You have such great points, as does everyone else.
& also, Heather: I realized why the name of the author of the book you mentioned sounded so familiar. I am currently reading a book of his called Peace is Every Step. My boyfriend recommended it to me. ;] It's very good.
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Haydn Shaughnessy, Contributor
I write about enterprise innovation.
Steve Denning has a great article elsewhere on Forbes about Apple and GE bringing manufacturing back to the USA. But in the course of the article Steve also lets slip why, even if it is good news, it is not as important as we want it to be.
The reason is: jobs represent a lower and lower proportion of hardware production. And hardware represents less and less of the value-added in a product.There are profound implications in that statement.
Let me give you a few examples of where the jobs dilemma really lies. A couple of months ago Malcolm Frank of Cognizant told me his company had 100 recruiters out on the road in the U.S. but they had difficulties finding the people they needed: people with a mix of business and IT talent who could talk strategy to clients and prospects.
Here are two further examples that underline the fact that the jobs problem is partly a talent problem that no educational institution has a handle on.
I'll keep both examples anonymous for now. They came up as part of my Cognizant Future of Work project, for which I am interviewing CIOs and chief innovation officers at companies across the world. The goal is to get a sense of the pressure points within organizations and how enterprises will change in response.
The first interviewee is the CIO of a major media organization. The biggest problem he faces? He needs people who are capable of reskilling on a weekly basis, should Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or Google make any changes to their platforms, or if a new social marketing product come onto the market, or if the company sees an opportunity for a new app to differentiate its offering.
Those people are very hard to find even though his company has an interesting brand — not quite Facebook or Google, but close.
The second comes from the auto industry where, my interviewee told me, the balance between software and hardware engineers on any given infotainment project is now 50 software engineers to one hardware engineer. The difference between before and after is huge. Hardware engineers used to dominate these projects. So hardware does not create jobs like it used to, nowhere near.
The jobs growth continues to be in software. And the competition for software talent is global. Every company I have interviewed so far has offshored software jobs, seeking to find the best talent, wherever it might be. As far as I can see nothing is being done at a policy level to address that drain.
It is also intense and it is holding back both of these companies — it is also holding back Cognizant, according to Frank (but go here for some detail on America's manufacturing advantage).
When Tim Cook announced some onshoring of manufacturing jobs, the anti-Apple lobby objected that the $100 million it will spend is trivial compared to the size of Apple's business.
It's hard to disagree — with over $100 billion in the bank Apple could do more for America. But the reality of today's economy is that the knowledge-intense roles that we've said for a decade would become critical, the ones often centering on software, are indeed critical.
The absence of global supply is holding companies back. And so too is the lack of experience in this fast changing environment. The necessary problem-solving skills are difficult to teach, and the experience is often impossible to acquire because so much is new.
But these are still solvable requirements: make the labor market more fluid, allow people to expose their skills development more publicly, teach people to package their business experience better, make people better developers of their own narrative, better managers of their core problem solving skills rather than their exact implementation skills, accept we are constantly in beta mode, and teach people, quickly, to function in conditions of unprecedented uncertainty. Tough though it might sound that would tee people up for jobs that are already out there and still being offshored.
Follow me on Twitter @haydn1701
Allow me some observations from a few decades of practicing engineering in the US:
- employers have complained about "shortages" of engineers for all of that time, even during the depths of the 2002-2003 tech meltdown, even as they decimated their workforces during the 80′s and 90′s in some avant-garde "right-sizing" quest.
- Wages have barely kept pace with inflation during my career. Yes, there have been bright spots in some places or times, such as the tech bubble. But those are an aberration in the larger scheme and those gains have since been lost.
- the much maligned "offshoring" can help in some cases but it can also hurt: A lot. Call it sour grapes but my observation is that the companies doing this most aggressively have been (and are) the ones failing in the market place.
Now they are adding distance and time-zone offsets to an obvious internal communications problem. The results have not been pretty.
Overall, the obvious solution is to pay more and attract talent to where it's needed.
But this obvious solution has successfully eluded our lavishly compensated executives for decades.
Draw your own conclusions.
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I think you are spot on in your analysis of what is going on in the management of large corporations. The problem is corporations are allowing managers to use fiefdom building and book keeping to determine strategy. Cooking the books is not just a problem from the obvious thieves who are stealing. It is also a time honored "management" tool. The largest power struggle that ever broke out at Microsoft was the fight to reconcile each divisions bookkeeping so each "boss" couldn't emphasize his own accomplishments and motivate his people. One of the real strengths of the secrecy that Steve Jobs used to manage Apple was it kept the managers from redirecting the innovations which would negatively impact their own division.
We don't just have a compensation problem, we have a collaboration problem. People will work for slightly less money for more stability, support and input into the growth of the company. The flip side of this is they will abuse this power if not kept form getting away with it.
Regarding your comment: "accept we are constantly in beta mode, and teach people, quickly, to function in conditions of unprecedented uncertainty"
We don't do that very well at all in this country. And we don't teach it early and hone it as people grow. Life has always been a beta project with people constantly learning and adapting but recently we feel we need to be protected from everything and that everything needs to be certain and safe. Parents, mostly acting out of love, try to protect their children from everything instead of building coping and problem-solving skills; any perceived threat or source of unhappiness must be eliminated. Schools are not preparing the workforce you're talking about either – uniformity and mediocrity is the mode of the day. Colleges fail to prepare people well also. Many businesses have to do remedial training for many university graduates.
We're not a hardy country anymore and the adaptability you're saying we need comes from hardiness, risk and failure and rising again with new insight and lessons learned and applied. People frightened by uncertainty are not likely to blaze new frontiers or build resilience.
I've got a couple questions to ask. One is about outsourcing and the other is about that comment of yours regarding change.
Do we really need to have the whole offshore-vs-onshore debate? I think it's just better if everyone just left it all to who strikes the winning combination of cost and efficiency. Whether you're an offshore or onshore professional, you win so long as you got the skills without a painful price tag. No more contests. No more arguing.
Call me naive but I expect a strong, well-informed justification for saying that a person's geographical location and their national currency should be a significant factor. Playing the "Made in America" or "Made in China" card won't cut it for me.
For the second question, do you think such a dynamic change will give jacks-of-all trades the advantage? I notice the idea that the expert's role is diminishing is starting to trend.
I believe that bringing manufacturing to any country will make some boost on the economy, so people should look more on the brighter side. No matter how much we debate on the topic, some family/Individuals (*Common citizen) will experience a positive financial turn-around from this.

subset: commoncrawl


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TOBAY Supervisor John Venditto is encouraging residents to remember those who fought in the Korean War on Monday.
Many tend to pass over the Korean War as it was never declared by Congress, but rather became a "conflict" or "police action," according to the Town.
"…But to the men and women who were fighting and dying, it was a hard, brutal war in unforgiving terrain, weather that ran from 100 plus degrees in summer to more than 50 degrees below zero in winter, and against an enemy that, for much of the war, outmanned and outgunned UN forces," said town officials.
It is for this reason that Venditto and the Town of Oyster Bay are encouraging residents to take time to reflect on the war, learn about the conflict, and honor those who sacrificed their lives 60 years ago.
TOBAY to Use Emergency Text, Email, Page System
Emergency notices from the Town of Oyster Bay can now be received via email, text, and page thanks to a new 24 hour system recently implemented by the town. Fires, flooding, evacuation, and water and weather emergency messages can now be sent to electronic devices and accounts immediately through Swiftreach Networks, Inc.
"The SWIFT911™ system will be an invaluable life-saving device for getting information out to our community when threats of severe weather or other dangerous conditions occur," said Venditto.
To sign up for the service, go to the town's website and add your own emergency contact information.
Mark Your Calendars
Extended Town Clerk Office Hours
When: Tues., open until 7:30 p.m.
Where: Town Hall South only
Tow Car Owner & Driver Licenses and Junk Dealer Licenses Expire
When: Saturday
Visit the town's Applications, Permits, & Licenses page for renewal information.
TOBAY Ice Rink Closed for Maintenance
When: Saturday; reopens for normal hours Sunday
Community rooms will remain open.


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Ebony Color Me
Viewer Comments
Ann Happy Wedding Day
I also got married on June 9th One year ago and my new name is BARBA too !
I love it when you do a week of cards! Thank you so much. I love your stencils and templates. I do have a question. How does Teresa make the very narrow matts on the labels? I know she is very talented does she just eyeball it and free hand cut it? Or do you have a secret? Thanks again for all the fun you give.
Great webisodes. I love new ideas on cardmaking
wow another great demo using beautiful cardstock, ink, etc. thank you!
Another fantastic webisode,have to play now with the color me Paper.Looking forward to the rest of the webisodes.Always learning something new,thanks so much!!
Love the webisodes thank you and thank you for the time and expense it takes to do them!
Please never give up Webisodes they are great love them ...Thank you for taking the time and expense to do them!
How very elegant! So many wonderful ideas to keep us busy. I so look forward to your week of webisodes. Thank you !
I love these papers and you guys too!Thanks to Teresa. The cards were gorgeous.
I LOVE a week of webisodes!! I don't have ebony color me paper yet, so I had to play with the color me paper I already had today. Two great webisodes so far, and I appreciate so much that you can look back in the project gallery to see how some of the cards are made. So many great ideas you share with us, and it is so appreciated!! I have told my friend to look all of this up!! Can't wait until tomorrow!!
I just loved this webisode! I love the Black Color Me, it's so dramatic! I can't wait to get it home!
Another great webisode!
I think this collection is wonderful; I could have endless hours just experimenting & playing w/all the possible combinations. CLASSIC COLORS!!
More ideas! The black ebony color me is so elegant!
Fabulous product, fabulous projects....love the tulle roses!
Another wonderful webisodes since I had the ebony color paper already now I great ways to use it. Buying the rest on the webisode I can see I will be having a great time
Wow!!! I LOVE these cards!!! Must admit I'm a bit of a sucker for the Color Me papers. Thanks so much.
Paper Wishes Weekly Webisodes
Free scrapbooking videos! Learn the latest scrapbooking ideas and fun ways to use your scrapbooking supplies with our free scrapbooking videos. Each week Paulette and Gail share tips and scrapbooking ideas on Paper Wishes Weekly Webisodes. These scrapbooking videos cover scrapbooking ideas like using templates, punches, patterned papers and more. Join us for exciting scrapbooking ideas with our scrapbooking videos!


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Inside Story
Marvellous McQueens!
Back in the days when he was presiding over the goings on in Hollyoaks instead of Walford, soap producer Bryan Kirkwood created what was to become my favourite family in the whole of Soapland – the McQueens.
I've spent many hours with fellow fans debating who the best member of this celebrated soap dynasty is. I've been torn between the ditziness of blonde bimbo Carmel, the genius observations of gobby Michaela, and the bumbling leadership of McQueen matriarch Myra. At the height of the 'McDean' plot, I loved watching John Paul's touching romance, and the performances that Jennifer Metcalfe has put in as love cheat Mercedes this year have been stellar.
Plus who could forget the murderous reign of secret son Niall Rafferty? Not a McQueen by name, but his arrival sparked one of my all-time favourite Hollyoaks plots, which culminated in him murdering half-sister Tina.
Now with almost half of the original clan departed, we have a whole new generation of McQueens in the shape of bad boy Bart, and tart with a heart Theresa. In my opinion they're not quite classic McQueen characters yet, but I'm sure given time they'll get there.
Which leaves me with just one member of the family to mention, who – after much consideration – I have to admit has secretly always been my favourite McQueen.
Aside from the fact that Claire Cooper is undeniably one of the best actresses in the show's cast, Jacqui's antics never fail to keep me gripped. Her dress sense is just as horrendous as Walford's Kat Moon's, her earring collection as extensive as Pat Evan's, and her quick wit would have proved more than a match for the late, great Blanche Hunt from Corrie.
Not to mention that her sense of 'family' would put Peggy Mitchell to shame. She's often stepped in to keep the clan together when Myra's been struggling, and she's the only one of the McQueen girls – aside from Michaela – who hasn't cheated with one of her sister's fellas. She may have a questionable grasp on the law, but when it comes to family loyalty, her morals are second to none.
And now she's been paired up with Rhys – another great Hollyoaks character who I think is often underused – Jacqui's at the forefront of the plots yet again. While it's been great to see her branch out on her own during the recent rift with her family, I can't wait to see Jacqui back where she belongs in the heart of the McQueen fold.
With so many changes rife up at Hollyoaks, I hope this colourful family will always remain at the centre of the action. Long live the McQueens!
Tags: Hollyoaks,


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One of the amazing things about Stephen S. Wise Elementary School is that we are always striving to improve. Our newest exciting change is the refurbished art room. Jan Navah, our outstanding art specialist, works with our students on developing their creative, expressive visual art talents. I
always enjoy walking into her studio to feel the excitement as kids
come up with new ideas, have the opportunity to try a new media, or
can't wait to show me their finished project. The culmination of this work is our Art Gallery, which will be displayed at Open House on June 1-2. On these nights you will see first hand the work that your students have been doing in art throughout the year.
I want to share with you some words that are on a poster in the art room that really express it best:
Everything I Needed to Know I learned in the Art Room
Never say anything unkind about something a classmate has created.
Don't hog all the colors.
A picture is more interesting with contrast, movement and different points of view – so is life.
Be kind to yourself if all your pictures don't turn out, it happens to all artists.
Making something for someone else can be a holy act, do it often.
Keep an open mind about different kinds of art… something unforeseen may be come part of your expression some day.
Purple houses, pink grass…. There's no right or wrong way to
color your picture – honor your creative voice – it's what makes you
Paint from the heart, it will show – others will sense it.
I hope your child gets these powerful messages throughout their year of art instruction. While
public schools are cutting the arts, we continue to invest in our
program and I look forward to seeing our students' skills and enthusiasm
continue to grow in this vital creative area.
Tami Weiser


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PLATTSBURGH — A Plattsburgh man was charged with felony drunken driving Friday afternoon.
Robert Gebhardt, 64, allegedly backed into another vehicle at Eco Car Wash on Cornelia Street, leaving minor damage, which prompted the store employees to report the accident, Plattsburgh City Police said.
Gebhardt tried to leave the scene, but the employees kept him on location, police said.
He was charged with aggravated driving while intoxicated, with a prior offense, a felony, and he was issued a traffic ticket, police said.
Gebhardt was arraigned in the City of Plattsburgh Court, and was released on his own recognizance, police said.
— By Staff Writer Felicia Krieg and Contributing Writer Amy Heggen


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LeafsBeat: Toronto a tough team to watch
The Star's Kevin McGran discusses the predicament the Maple Leafs are in during the playoff stretch. (March 24, 2014)
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Lessons from the Past: The Core of History
Through history, we see God's unfolding plan for humanity. We learn about both the incredible triumphs and the failures of humankind. As American historian David McCullough wrote: "History is a guide to navigation in perilous times. History is who we are and why we are the way we are." We read and remember so that we may, in turn, act wisely.
Most of us do not need to be persuaded to study history the way we might need to be convinced to study fine arts or Latin—but we need clear direction on how to study history classically. For the Grammar Stage student (ages 4-11), the answer is twofold: young students need to memorize and recite key information, and they need to be delighted by good stories. This memorization prepares grammar students to move into the Dialectic Stage (ages 12-13), when they begin to analyze historical events. Learning the stories of history not only builds core knowledge, but also activates and exercises students' imaginations… which will then become fully engaged during the Rhetoric, or Poetic, Stage (ages 14-18).
Classical Conversations Foundations students complete one part of the puzzle—the memorization of core information—by memorizing a history timeline and the history sentences for each cycle every year. The goal is to repeat the information often enough so that it sticks for life. At home, families complete the second part of the puzzle—the enjoyment of good stories by reading good books together. The four volumes of Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer are a rich source of historical tales. These can be supplemented with high quality picture books and historical novels if your family wants to dig deeper. The novels from Challenge A and B can be assigned as reading coursework, or can be read aloud to very young children. Parents desiring more suggestions may consult the Cycle 2 Resource List on the Classical Conversations Connected Community.
So, what does it look like to study history with younger children? Here are some practical suggestions from the Courtney home. Every morning, we review the timeline cards and the history sentence for the week. We usually do this at the breakfast or lunch table because I have a captive audience. If it is a really busy day, we shift this activity to the car (where I also have a captive audience). At the beginning of the year, we review the entire timeline every day. After a while, this becomes cumbersome and time consuming. So, we pick a place to start and move forward from there. We try to review the entire timeline once a week. Now that my children are older, I sometimes put my eleven-year-old in charge of reviewing the history cards with my nine and six-year-olds so that I can tend to the needs of the baby. Directly after our CC memory work, we turn to Story of the World.
While we listen to our history story, my children either color or play with blocks or Legos. After the story, I ask them to repeat the story back to me, or we discuss the questions that are in the companion guides. Yesterday, my family listened to a story about Peter the Great and his attempts to westernize Russia. We enjoyed the stories of how the Europeans were appalled by his rustic manners and dress, and we also had a perfect opportunity to review our Cycle 2 history song about the Age of Absolute Monarchs (in which Peter is featured. Today, we listened to the story of how the Ottoman Turks were unable to conquer Vienna, which was the home of the Holy Roman Emperor in the 1600s. We reviewed our Cycle 1 history song about Mohammed and Islam, which included a snippet about the Ottoman Empire. Most of our work is accomplished through conversation.
Dialectic and rhetoric students must begin to think more deeply about history while reviewing
Let us delight in becoming wise by learning the lessons of the past!
Parent Resources for History
· Bortins, Leigh A. The Core: Teaching Your Child the Foundations of Classical Education. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2010. (see Chapter 8)
· History Resource List for each Cycle: Classical Conversations Connected Community
Follow this link to register or login: http://classicalconversations.com/registered/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=13&Itemid=96
· For great American Documents and Speeches to read or copy: Words Aptly Spoken: American Documents. Seven Lakes, NC: Classical Conversations MultiMedia,
· Bauer, Susan Wise. Story of the World, Volumes 1-4. Charles City, Virginia: Peace Hill Press, 2004.
Follow this link to the CC Bookstore: http://www.classicalconversationsbooks.com
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Cheyenne has been called the most haunted town in America. Ghost story collector Jill Pope says she hears new stories of the city's paranormal activity almost daily. Some of them are in her new book, Haunted Cheyenne. Pope spoke with Wyoming Public Media's Micah Schweizer.


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This article was originally distributed via PRWeb. PRWeb, WorldNow and this Site make no warranties or representations in connection therewith.
SMis 4th annual Telecoms for Smart Grids conference will address the development of both UK and European communications infrastructure for smart grid development and metering deployment, data communication infrastructure and integration, substation automation, distribution network upgrades, and business process management. The two-day programme will also cover the onset of M2M communications technology with challenges and risks in delivering a fit-for-purpose, secure systems with leading utilities, government and communication technology authorities sharing valuable insights on current pilot projects, challenges and solutions.
London (PRWEB UK) 5 July 2014
SMi's 4th Telecoms for Smart Grids conference, taking place on 22-23 September in London, will address challenges with innovation and future regulation relating to communications requirements for smart grid development and smart meter deployment with case studies from utilities including E.ON and ESB. The two-day conference programme will also feature keynote addresses from ZigBee Alliance, the Data and Communications Company (DCC) and the Department of Energy and Climate Change (DECC). Updates will be provided on what to expect in terms of future regulation, actions being taken to make the smart grid a reality in Great Britain, plus how wireless and M2M technology is enabling upcoming smart grid/meter/water developments across Europe.
Speaker Panel includes:
To view the full speaker line-up and complete two-day conference programme, visit http://www.smi-online.co.uk/2014telecoms-smartgrids8.asp.
Plus, don't miss the half-day post-conference workshop taking place on 24th September:
Business Choices: Choosing the Telecoms System for Smart Grids
Led by: Andrew Thomas, Divisional Director & Dr. Andrew Wheen, Principal Consultant, Information Communications Technology, Mott MacDonald | 8.30 - 12.30
For the original version on PRWeb visit: http://www.prweb.com/releases/smart/grids/prweb11996260.htm
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Review for Innocence over Dentention
Innocence over Dentention
(#) Desolira 2008-03-10 01:44:45 PM
This made me cry.
It's so good it made me cry.
You've made Orchimaru human. I love it.
It's so good it made me cry.
You've made Orchimaru human. I love it.
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February is Heart Health Month. One of the most important minerals for our heart and our overall health? Magnesium. With an estimated 70 percent of Americans deficient, most of us are just not getting enough of it.
More than 300 biochemical processes in the body require magnesium, including fatty acid metabolism, muscle and nerve functions, heart rhythms, and brain functioning. The fourth most abundant mineral in the body, magensium is critical minerals for our bone health. It improves the absorption of vitamin D, and helps to get calcium into the bone (not the arteries). Taking too much or poorly absorbed forms of calcium, or taking it without the key co-factors like magnesium, can lead to calcifications in areas where it is not wanted, like the arteries of the heart, kidneys and breast tissue.
Studies show that higher blood levels of magnesium can be associated with a lower risk of sudden cardiac death, and it is also beginning to emerge as an important mineral for cancer prevention. A study from Sweden reported that women with the highest magnesium intake had a 40 percent lower risk of developing cancer than those with the lowest intake of the mineral. Heavy alcohol consumption also depletes magnesium, which could be one reason that heavy alcohol use raises our risk of both heart disease and breast cancer; as well as other symptoms of magesium deficiency, like migraines.
There are many other signs of deficiency: kidney stones, restless leg syndrome, osteoporosis, frequent fractures, agitation, unexplained muscle aches/pains, ADHD, twitches, and many more.
Magnesium is found in green leafy vegetables, some nuts and seeds, and avocados. But one of the best food sources is cacao, the main ingredient in dark chocolate. That is a likely reason that eating dark chocolate is associated with a 30 percent reduced heart disease risk.
If you or a loved one does suffer from a heart attack, get them to a hospital and ask for intravenous magnesium. Receiving IV magnesium after a heart attack is associated with a 25 percent higher rate of survival of the heart muscle.
When choosing chocolate, go dark: the higher content of cacao, the better (choose 70 percent or higher). A square or two a day just might keep the doctor away. So eat your dark chocolate this Valentine's Day without guilt—it is a heart healthy source of magnesium! Try these magnesium-rich recipes made with cacao:
- Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes (gluten free & vegan)
- CocoNuttZo Chocolates
- Dark Chocolate Made with Coconut oil
- Choco-Banana Super Smoothie
- The Best Black Bean Brownies - Ever!
And you can read more about the health benefits of magnesium here:
- http://www.naturalnews.com/036049_magnesium_weight_loss_cure.html
- http://www.naturalnews.com/027392_magnesium_natural_disease.html
- http://www.doctoroz.com/blog/daniel-heller-nd/magnesium-miracle-mineral
- http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Magnesium-HealthProfessional/
*This content is not to be construed as providing medical advice. All information provided is general and not specific to individuals. Persons experiencing problems or with questions about their health or medications, should consult their medical professional. Persons already taking prescription medications should consult a doctor before taking the above foods, herbs, vitamins or supplements to be sure there are no interactions.
Sara Vance is a Clinical Nutritionist. She offers nutritional counseling, school assemblies, group classes, kids healthy cooking, and more.
Visit ReBalanceLife.com for more information or find Sara Vance at ReBalance Life on Facebook.


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Newspaper companies are having a hard time adjusting to a world in which people use the internet. And especially since Rupert Murdoch accused Search Engines of stealing their content and announced that he would make people pay to read News Corp. content there is a lot of discussion about how the future of the news industry will look like.
Yesterday Eric Schmidt, the CEO of Google posted his view on things in an article on Wall Street Journal , envisioning the future to look like this:
It's the year 2015. The compact device in my hand delivers me the world, one news story at a time. I flip through my favorite papers and magazines, the images as crisp as in print, without a maddening wait for each page to load.
Apparently newspaper companies are indeed working on that future right now. Time Inc. have just released a demo of a tablet-targeted version of Sports Illustrated which gives a good impression of how they want to justify taking money for content in the digital age:
Also, the New York Times have recently released their Times Skimmer which is an alternative Interface for their headlines. What they've come up with is really nice I think. It is especially nice to see that they did not implement it in a proprietary format like Flash or Silverlight but instead used open standards like HTML and CSS (with some nice HTML5 and CSS3 highlights sprinkled on top). And they're using @font-face through Typekit as well.


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Howdy, Stranger!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Got a Quick Question for a Car Dealer?
audia8q Posts: 3,138I see this everyday....some dealers have the belief that you tell the customer "anything they want to hear" on the phone to get them into the dealership....regretfully only a small number of people who fall for this actually get up and walk out...they usually just take the price bump with the dopey explination why the price just went up and buy the car. It's sad that dealers do this and it even worse than consumers fall for it all the time. If it didn't work, the questionable dealers wouldn't do it.
My wife and I would have been a perfect candidate for that in August when we bought our new Acura. I had contacted a deal about 2 hours away (since that was the closest one exactly like my wife wanted) via the internet. I got a price back from the internet guy, but it was over the phone. And got offered a special deal to get it that day (Friday 8/31). So, I said OK, and arranged to show up at late dinner time.
But, I did not actually have anything in writing, or related to a specific car. And was going to be 2 hours from home, on a Friday night. So they certainly would have had some leverage to try a bait and switch of some kind, but they did not. Price was exactly what we had discussed on the phone.
the rest of the saga, well that had nothing to do with the price offered up front!
2013 Acura RDX (wife's), 2007 Volvo S40 (when daughter lets me see it), 2000 Acura TL (formerly son's, now mine again), and new Jetta SE (son's first new car on his own dime!)
Hi all,
I'm new to these forums. Wife and I have a 1 year old baby and the baby seat is just taking up too much room in our Accord.
She's really interested in the Q5. I've been passively looking around and trying to read more about used vehicles, CPO's, etc. So I came across this listing:
CARFAX Vehicle History Report for this 2011 AUDI Q5 PREMIUM:
http://apicdn.viglink.com/api/click?format=go&key=00cbe74ab3cc73d8c23633ea4149cb- f5&loc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.audiforums.com%2Fforum%2Faudi-q5-76%2Fbuying-multiple-sh- ort-term-lease-q5-191268%2F&out=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.carfax.com%2FVehicleHistory%2Fp- %2FReport.cfx%3Fpartner%3DDLR_3%26vin%3DWA1CFAFP2BA079135%23OwnershipHistorySect- ion&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.audiforums.com%2Fforum%2Faudi-q5-76%2F
My questions if anybody knows:
1. Is it a negative to see an Audi being sold at a Toyota dealership?
2. This vehicle had three personal leases, all at around 5-6 months. I've never leased before but these seem like very short leases. Another bad sign?
3. The vehicle was first delivered in Hawaii, then sent to Oregon, then to Palo Alto. I figure shipping any car from Hawaii has to be expensive, is this a sign that the Hawaii dealership really wanted to get rid of a lemon?
Thanks, don't want to come across as paranoid but the price on this vehicle seems a lot lower than others I've come across.
That is one weird Carfax. Could possibly be a good explanation, like someone leased in Hawaii, then moved to Oregon with the car. But, either way, they didn't keep it very long.
Could be an Audi employee lease.. Those are generally short-term. Have you asked the Toyota dealer how they got the car?
Prices Paid, Lease Questions, SUVs
that is odd. I would take the vin to an audi dealer and ask them to pull the warranty history on it.
But, putting that aside, have you actually tried a babyseat in the back of the Q5? Because, according to the specs, the backseats of both an '08-'12 Accord and a Q5 are nearly identical. I don't know what year your accord is. Even an '03-'07 Accord gives up only a half inch rear legroom to the Q5.
'13 Stang GT; '86 Benz 300E; '98 Volvo S70; '12 Leaf; '14 Town&Country
verdugo Posts: 1,987But, putting that aside, have you actually tried a babyseat in the back of the Q5? Because, according to the specs, the backseats of both an '08-'12 Accord and a Q5 are nearly identical. I don't know what year your accord is. Even an '03-'07 Accord gives up only a half inch rear legroom to the Q5.
I was surprised about that too. An Accord is not a tiny car. One car seat for a 1 year old shouldn't be the only reason to trade in.
But it's not my money, so more power to the OP.
Thanks for the information. We haven't actually tried a carseat in the Q5 yet, we're planning to stop by the dealership this weekend to try it out. Again, we're only starting the process of looking so we're not dead set on the Q5. I posted my question mostly because of my inexperience with leases.
That said, I think we're having more issues with the Accord due to 1. height and 2. width
1. We have a Britax Marathon in the center of the backseats right now. Getting our 1 year old in and out is killing our backs because of the lower height of the Accord. We have to stoop pretty far down to put him inside. Once inside, we have to pick him up again to get him over the side of the carseat into the carseat itself. Because the Accord cabin height is lower, he sort of bangs his head during this maneuver.
2. Sometimes my wife sits in the back when the baby is having one of his meltdowns while driving (screaming at the top of his lungs for the duration of the drive). He typically calms down when she sits back there. This isn't all the time, but when she is sitting in the back, with the Marathon carseat in the middle, there's literally no room for her. Her inside arm ends up resting on the carseat edge and it's almost like an economy class airline seat.
3. We're planning on having baby #2 in the near future, so we're starting the car shopping process now.
Again, thanks very very much for your information, greatly appreciated.
IIRC, from our recent looking, the Q5 was not all that roomy. I would say if yo uare planning on kid 2 soon, so 2 car seats, get something a bit roomier. Maybe MDX sized?
2013 Acura RDX (wife's), 2007 Volvo S40 (when daughter lets me see it), 2000 Acura TL (formerly son's, now mine again), and new Jetta SE (son's first new car on his own dime!)
I happened to drive behind an MDX today and the width did look roomier, at least from the outside. We already planned to test drive one soon. My wife's only concern is she has never driven an SUV before (this would be her primary vehicle) so hopefully maneuvering one isn't too challenging for her.
We'll probably look at the CR-V, Highlander, and Prius V as well. I have my doubts about the Prius V though, probably too small?
Prius and CRV both too small.
Maybe the new Cmax hybrid? I have no idea how wide it is, but if its like the mazda5, its pretty roomy. At least easy to get kids in and out of. Too bad they don't have the sliding doors.
'13 Stang GT; '86 Benz 300E; '98 Volvo S70; '12 Leaf; '14 Town&Country
robr2 BostonPosts: 7,744Have you thought about a minivan??
I know, I know - who wants to drive a minivan? Nobody - at first. But once you live with one for a while and haul kids around, go on vacation with them, et al, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
We've had an Odyssey for 12 years now and although it's relegated to 3rd car status, it still gets used due to its superior ability to comfortably haul people and gear.
agreed about the van. We got our first when we had our 2nd kid, and only got out of a van a few months ago, when the Baby was turning 17 and could drive herself around!
2013 Acura RDX (wife's), 2007 Volvo S40 (when daughter lets me see it), 2000 Acura TL (formerly son's, now mine again), and new Jetta SE (son's first new car on his own dime!)
I may have a confusing question. I bought a 2011 Nissan Maxima in January 2011 through Nissan Motor Acceptace at 1.9% for 72 months. I owe about $18,850 on it. It's in near perfect condition, completely dealership maintained and has less than 21,000 miles on it. I'm wondering if I'd personally be better off making about 6 more payments and then trading it or should I try to sell it in 3-4 months, bank a couple of payments and get that loan off of my credit report for a couple of months and then just buy a new car? I know most of my payment each month is going toward the principal, so each payment I make will help.
There is nothing wrong with the Maxima and I love driving it--I'm just thinking about getting a car with a more functional back seat and doesn't use premium unleaded gasoline.
timadams Posts: 294I'm curious what kind of vehicles you are entertaining. I've driven a 2011 Maxima, and had an older model myself, and thought the back seats in both were fine. Certainly, there are cars with roomier back seats, including the Subaru Legacy I bought in 2011.
But if finances are an issue - and I'm guessing they are if you took out a 72-month loan :surprise: - you pay sales taxes and registration fees every time you buy a car, and that can add up. Also, I understand that premium fuel costs a bit more than regular. But it looks like you drive about 11k miles per year. If premium costs 20 cents more per gallon and you are getting 25 MPG, that really adds up to only $88 per year.
And one more thing - when you trade a car, you will only get a wholesale price, whereas when you buy a car you are paying retail. In other words, if you sold and bought the same identical car, you would likely lose at least a couple of thousand dollars in the process. Add the wholesale/retail issue, sales taxes and other transaction costs, and you will come out far ahead by simply keeping your Maxima longer.
I know, buying a new car is exciting. But it is very costly to do so every couple of years. What you should really do is pay extra every month so you can pay off the car loan in two years. Then, keep the Maxima an additional two years and save the monthly car payments in a savings account. At that point - four years down the road - you will have a fully paid-off car and two years of payments in the bank as a down payment on your next car. Then, take out a 3-year car loan, keep the car six or seven years and pocket the monthly payments. Do that a couple of times, and you will have enough money to buy cars for cash with no loans.
The bottom line is if you need a 4-, 5- or 6-year loan to buy a car, you really can't afford the car and should look at something a lot cheaper.
Thanks for the lecture. No, I don't trade cars every 2 years--I had my last 2 cars over 5 years each. That's why I'm not sure which way to go may be the better personal option. No, it's not finances. I took the 6 year loan to get the payments low when I need a low payment and I pay extra when I can, as well--that's how I got a $30k loan to $18.8k in 2 years. If NMAC wants to give away 0% for 60 months or 1.9% for 72 months, then I might as well take advantage of it and use my money to pay off thinks that will have higher interest rates.
I have 3 children and they are only getting bigger and when the 5 of us go places in my car, someone always complains of being cramped. We do have a Sienna, so please don't suggest I get a van or SUV. I was thinking about something like a new Accord or Altima.
This is the first car I've ever owned that used premium and I'm no longer having fun paying the premium for it (I get 21-22 mpg back & forth from work, not 25). At 11k miles per year at 22mpg, that's 500 gallons per year at $4 per gallon (right now, this is the cheapest premium has been for a while) or $2000 a year. In a new car getting 28 mpg on $3.30 regular fuel, that's $1296 a year, or $704 a year cheaper--quite a bit more than the $88 calculated above.
I was just wondering if anyone out there had any helpful advice for this question or not. Maybe it really is a stupid question; but, I'd rather get advice than a lecture from someone who doesn't know me.
I took the 6 year loan to get the payments low when I need a low payment and I pay extra when I can, as well--that's how I got a $30k loan to $18.8k in 2 years. If NMAC wants to give away 0% for 60 months or 1.9% for 72 months, then I might as well take advantage of it and use my money to pay off thinks that will have higher interest rates.
Absolutely! I do this all the time.
As for the premium concern, you absolutely can run regular fuel in your Maxima. The computer will take care of the timing so you won't feel any ill effects. It could impact your mileage, however. You'll have to test it and see.
But, putting cost aside, if you need a bigger car, then you need a bigger car.
While I can't predict the future value of your trade-in, it is usually best to pay it down as much as possible. You would only be gaining equity with every month that goes by. So try to hold out as long as you can. At the same time, you gotta do what you gotta do. I just don't think any midsize sedan is going to give you a whole lot more room, but that's another topic.
As for "getting it off your credit report," don't worry about it. When you tell the dealership "I sold that car," everything will be fine. They can work with their lenders to straighten it out.
'13 Stang GT; '86 Benz 300E; '98 Volvo S70; '12 Leaf; '14 Town&Country
billy3554 Posts: 147You are correct in taking out the loan for as long as possible when the interest rate is low. It is like getting money for nothing. I do it on every car and I am in a position where I can pay off a loan in two years. Also, having a long history of paid a agreed loans is very helpful to a person's credit score.
Really, only a person unfamiliar with finance concepts would suggest anyone taking out a loan for more than 2 years is purchasing a vehicle they can't afford. If that were the case, most of us would be driving a Yugo.
One thing to consider regarding selling your Maxima to a private party or trading it on a new vehicle is you won't get the sales tax break if you sell to a private party, in most states. This can be considerable. If your car trades at $20,000 and the sales tax rate is 6% the sales tax break on the new purchase is $1,200. This means the private sale would need to be more than $21,200 to be more of an advantage than trading the vehicle.
It is likely a Nissan dealer will offer more for the Maxima. Use Kelly Blue Book and NADA for the value of the Maxima which will give you a good idea of what the vehicle is worth. With a fairly clean vehicle I have always found a dealer willing to meet the KBB or NADA values. Any dealer who does not come close is, in my opinion, lowballing the trade value. At a minimum get up a leave, better to leave and go to a different dealer.
Finally, at 11,000 miles a year the expected savings in gas would be more than $500 not $88 as you noted.


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With conference realignment rumors in full swing, two things to keep in mind for any rumors that are floated.
Brian: SI's Andy Staples built on Spencer Hall's better to be lucky than good article to re-forecast the entire college football timeline after changing just one play back in 2004. In Staples...
Conference Realignment Hypothetical: ACC Doomsday Scenario
Conference Realignment: Virginia Tech Staying Put
Conference Expansion: Miami Has No Interest In Big 12, Florida State To Big 12 "Inevitable"
Conference Realignment: Even With Mass Defections To The Big 12, ACC Will Live On
Conference Realignment: Miami Unlikely To Join Florida State In Big 12 Per Unnamed BOT
In an announcement Sunday afternoon, the SEC made Texas A&M's long-awaited move to the conference official. The Aggies will become the SEC's 13th team, beginning play in 2012. This will be the last...
Conference Realignment: Backlash From The Academic Elite?
Conference Realignment: Oklahoma To Decide Nation's Fate On Monday?
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NFS has the SPECbench SPECsfs tool, which is relatively complex in generating workload and adjusting the working set size. There isn't a complement for CIFS that is public. Some people have run VeriTest's Netbench against it to determine MBps, but that isn't very useful in most environments. The Storage Performance Council is currently working on a new benchmark to address this issue, which will be called SPC-3.
Check out www.storageperformance.org to catch up on what's going on, and join to help with specifying and developing the benchmark if you can. It's an open organization that welcomes individuals.
This was first published in September 2005


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The man who doused 71-year-old Delores Gillespie in gasoline before setting her on fire inside of an Underhill Avenue elevator last December has accepted a plea deal of 50 years to life in prison, a spokesman for the Brooklyn DA's Office told Patch Friday.
No expert has diagnosed Jerome Isaac as mentally ill, so an insanity defense was not an option, according to the Daily News, which reported Wednesday that Isaac was expected to take the deal.
"Basically he will die in jail," Gillespie's daughter Sheila Hillsman told the Daily News. "I'm satisfied with that because he shouldn't be out in the streets again. It's too bad that New York doesn't have the death penalty because I believe they should do to him exactly what he did to my mother."
He will be sentenced on Oct. 29, said the District Attorney's Office spokesman.
Hillsman told the Daily News that she was assured that Isaac would not be eligible for parole before age 97.
Gillespie's murder, on Dec. 17, 2011, was caught on the elevator's security camera. In the footage, Isaac, dressed as an exterminator, is seen dousing the woman's body with gasoline, before he lights her on fire, and then throws a Molotov cocktail into the elevator.
Isaac said that Gillespie owed him $2,100 for five months worth of cleaning work done in her apartment.
Related Stories:
- Man Burns Woman Alive in Underhill Avenue Elevator
- UPDATE: Man Charged with Setting Woman on Fire in Underhill Avenue Elevator (with video of the attack)
- Son of Woman Set Ablaze: 'All She Did Was Give'
- Fund Set Up for Family of Woman Set on Fire in Underhill Avenue Elevator


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Learning Center Search Results
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Product Demo: Research Wiki: Searching the Research Wiki
Thousands of users contribute information about records, research strategies, and conducting genealogical research. Learn to find information in the Research Wiki that can lead you to records about your ancestors. Contributors also learn how to find existing articles before they add information.
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Step three is to grow your family tree by searching historical records on FamilySearch.org. Your ancestors' everyday milestones and experiences—like birth, marriage, and death—often created historical records that have been indexed and made searchable online. Use Search to find more details about the people in your family story.
The 1940 United States Census record release in 2012 has led many people to question what a census is and why it is important. This informative video offers a general overview of census, the data they contain, and what you can learn.
What's Next?.. Immigration and Naturalization Records!
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Everything about demand-side platform
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The Federal Communications Commission says it's writing rules for the Internet to preserve the status quo.
Originally published on Mon July 21, 2014 10:50 am
Young people are being chased out of the labor market. Though the national unemployment rate has fallen steadily in recent months, youth unemployment remains stubbornly high, and the jobless rate is even higher among young minorities. For young people between the ages of 16 and 24, unemployment is more than twice the national rate, at 14.2 percent. For African-Americans, that rate jumps to 21.4 percent.
Originally published on Mon July 21, 2014 11:52 am
This January, after the driest calendar year in California history, Gov. Jerry Brown declared a drought emergency. He called on residents to reduce their water intake by 20 percent.
But downtown Los Angeles doesn't look like a city devastated by the state's worst drought in decades. The city is green with landscaping, and fountains are running. People still water their lawns, wash their cars and fill their pools.
Originally published on Mon July 28, 2014 1:28 pm
(July 24, 2014: See the editor's note at the bottom of this page for an explanation of the story's new headline.)
When 12-year-old Lauren Arrington heard about her sixth-grade science project, she knew she wanted to study lionfish. Growing up in Jupiter, Fla., she saw them in the ocean while snorkeling and fishing with her dad.
Originally published on Wed July 23, 2014 11:14 am
Tim Bomba is a tall, rangy guy with a quick smile. He's a marathoner, a triathlete (he's done two Ironman races), and every Wednesday morning for the last decade, Bomba has taught a ocean swimming course in Santa Monica, Calif.
The course, called Ocean 101, isn't for accomplished swimmers like Bomba. It's for people who are new to the ocean, and many participants are afraid of the water when they arrive. Bomba knows what they're going through. He himself was terrified of swimming until he was in his 50s.
Originally published on Fri July 18, 2014 7:54 pm
Zach Braff is currently performing on Broadway, and for a time he starred in the TV comedy Scrubs. But he's also known for directing and starring in the 2004 film Garden State, a model of 20-something angst.
It is the season of state fairs, when you may have a chance to expand your palate or test your gag reflex at the concession stands. (Once you're stuffed, maybe you'll get to admire a butter sculpture.)
Originally published on Thu July 17, 2014 11:09 am
Not long ago, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Paul Salopek traveled through Israel and the West Bank as part of his journey walking from Africa to South America. He was there this spring, before the current violence erupted. Talking recently from Cyprus to Morning Edition's Steve Inskeep, he says the long-standing conflict was part of daily life.
On coming under fire from Israeli soldiers
Originally published on Tue July 15, 2014 12:51 pm
Part of losing weight boils down to making tweaks to the simple equation of calories in versus calories out.
Americans spend over $60 billion a year on diet and weight loss products, according to market research, but the weight often comes right back. That may be because it's such a hassle to count calories — tracking everything you order or cook at home.
Originally published on Mon July 14, 2014 6:24 pm
This story is part of All Things Considered's "Men in America" series.
It's rare that a man makes it through life without being told, at least once, "Be a man." To Joe Ehrmann, a former NFL defensive lineman and now a pastor, those are the three scariest words that a boy can hear.


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A warm welcome awaits you at the Zandbergen, a family-run hotel in Amsterdam, near the Vondelpark, the Concertgebouw (Concert Hall), the Rijksmuseum, the Van Gogh Museum and the Stedelijk Museum (museum of Modern Art). Besides the superb accommodation, the hotel has recently modernised all of its bathroom facilities to meet with modern standards. The trademark of Robert and Margaret Vonk's hospitality is personal service and attention. Zandbergen is a great place to stay, with the heart of swinging Amsterdam only 15 minutes away. The hotel opens its doors to tourists and business travellers alike. Hospitality and cordiality are the priorities, in keeping with Amsterdam's atmosphere. Do justice to a genuine Dutch buffet-breakfast in the breakfast room every morning, a great start to the day. This is the place to meet other guests and make friends. The 18 tastefully decorated rooms are designed to suit any of your needs and comfort, an effective home from home. At the hotel you will find friendly and happy people to help with information about the city and its many attractions. There is much to do and see in the Netherlands as well as in Amsterdam, and excursions can also be easily arranged.
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Free cancellation can be made up until 1 day before the check-in day. For cancellations made after this time a cancellation fee of 100% of the first night will be charged. All times refer to the local time at the property. For no-show, 100% of the first night will be charged.
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text: Contrary to popular belief, wisdom isn't something that accumulates in your brain like interest in a savings account, somehow ripening into its fullness as your hair starts to gray. On the contrary, it's all about life experience—something that Raleigh repper Lazaurus has packed a lot of into his 24 years on this earth. Previously … Read More


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Martin Spielman
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The Chronicle
Pella — Donna J. Campbell (nee Schakel), a long time Realtor, passed away on Aug 21, 2012 in Ventura, CA where she has resided for fifty years. She was 82. She was preceded in death by her parents Peter and Bess Schakel and brother Mark E. Schakel. Donna is survived by her two sons Kent and Kory, sister, Nadine Frymann (nee Schakel), and three grandchildren Liam, Braedan, and Kelsey. For more info or to share a memory: www.campbellcoastal.com.
A memorial service is planned for May 2013 in her home town of Pella, Iowa during the Tulip Festival.


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By MICHAEL CHILDERS, CJ Correspondent
Commonwealth Journal
Somerset —
It was simple.
Pulaski County showed up ready to play. Southwestern didn't.
The homestanding Pulaski County Maroons jumped out to an early lead over the visiting Southwestern Warriors and never relinquished it, as they came away with an 82-68 victory last night at PC Gym.
With the victory over the Warriors, Pulaski ran their winning streak to eight straight games over their cross-town rival, Southwestern. Since Al Gover took over as the Maroons coach in the 2009-2010 season, he is 8-1 against the Warriors.
Though it's always nice to get a win against a rival, Gover understands that it's just another regular season win.
"It always feels good to win, no matter who you are playing," began Gover, who saw his club up their record to 14-3 with the victory. "When you're playing a rival, it feels good to win, but we don't hang our hat on winning cross-town rival games. We know what our goal is this year and we're focused on that."
"It's a regular season win that we will enjoy, but then we've got to come in and practice and try to get better at some things that we didn't do very well."
Early in the first period, both teams were knotted up at 7-7. That all would change, however, as the Maroons would go an 11-0 run to take an 18-7 lead over Southwestern.
Kody Johnson broke the 7-7 tie with a three-pointer, putting the Maroons ahead, 10-7. Thanks to Johnson's trifecta, Pulaski would never trail again for the remainder of the evening.
Blake Burton, Sean Ross, Taylor Gover, and Johnson, would all score two points each in the remainder of the run, allowing Pulaski to take an 11-point lead 2:47 left to play in the opening quarter of hoops action.
Southwestern's David Kapinga went two-of-two from the line to cut the score to single digits at 18-9. With 1:27 left to play in the opening frame, Isaiah Collier knocked down his second trey of the quarter to lessen the Maroon lead to 18-12.
After one quarter of play, Pulaski led the Warriors by seven points at 20-13.
The second period would belong to the Maroons, particularly Gover and Johnson, who both combined for 22 of the Maroons' 27 second quarter points. Johnson scored 14 points in the eight-minute quarter, while Gover chimed in with eight.
In the later part of the second period, Pulaski went on another 11-0 run, paced by the pair of Gover and Johnson. Thanks to the late-quarter run, the Maroons went into the locker room at halftime with a 20-point, 47-27 lead over Southwestern.
The Warriors came out of the second half with a lot more intensity than the opening half of action. In the third quarter, Southwestern outscored the Maroons by an 18-13 margin. By outscoring Pulaski by five points in the third stanza, the Warriors were able to cut the lead to 15 points, as the score stood at 60-45.
Southwestern, once again, outscored the Maroons in the fourth and final frame, this time by a total of 23-22. However, it was too little, too late for the boys in blue and orange, as the Maroons went on to win by a 14-point margin.
It was the tale of two halves for the Warriors, according to coach Steve Wright.
"I was really disappointed in our effort - it was probably the worst we have played all year," Wright stated. "We didn't get much done in the first half, but it was a little better in the second half. We should have been playing the way we did in the second half in the first half. We didn't bring it early on, and I don't know why. That's their responsibility to be ready to play, and it's my responsibility to be sure that they're ready to play."
"We got our tail handed it us tonight because Pulaski was a lot better than us."
The Maroons senior 'Big Three' all hit double figures in the 14-point win, led by Gover's 26 points. Johnson chimed in 23 points, while Tyler Goins finished with 15 points and a team-high six rebounds.
With Spencer Laign in the line-up due to illness, Ross stepped in and finished with nine points for the Maroons.
"Since the last Southwestern game, Sean's got more minutes because he's playing so well," said the Maroon hoops coach. "He's scoring some points, rebounding the ball, and playing more aggressive. We really like the way he is playing. He is a big factor for us, along with some of the other kids coming off of the bench."
Southwestern had to deal without a player of their own, as Justin Edwards sat out with a knee injury. Not having Edwards in the line-up made a difference in the ballgame.
"I think (not having Justin) had an affect on our confidence level," said Wright. "That shows a lot of immaturity on our teams' part, because that should not have been a factor at all and we let it be."
All five starters for Southwestern hit double figures in the loss, led by Kapinga's 18 points and a game-high seven rebounds. Adam Isaacs scored ten points in the fourth quarter to finish the game with 15 points. Collier had 11 points, while Dylan Gaskin and Justin Schulz scored 10 points each.
Just like their last meeting, free-throws were aplenty, as both clubs combined to shoot 68 free-throws. Southwestern went 21 of 31 on the night, while the Maroons went 28 of 37 from the charity stripe.
No matter the outcome, Gover was glad to see a huge crowd pack the PC Gym bleachers last night.
"It's good to see the community come out and support the teams - the crowd was great," concluded the Pulaski coach. "That's the way high school basketball should be. It reminds you of the 80's, when people really gathered into the gyms to watch games."
Southwestern, who fell to 13-5 on the year with the loss, will return to action on Tuesday night, when they will host the Russell County Lakers at 8 p.m. at the Wigwam.
The Maroons, who have now won nine straight games in a row, will return to action on Tuesday evening as well, when they will travel to Liberty to take on Casey County in a 47th District showdown at 8 p.m.
SOUTHWESTERN (13-5): Kapinga 18, Isaacs 15, Collier 11, Schulz 10, Gaskin 10, Hansford 4.
PULASKI COUNTY (14-3): Gover 26, Johnson 23, Goins 15, Ross 9, Hall 4, Burton 4, Lorman 1.


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DALLAS — Brittney Griner had 19 points, 13 rebounds and a career best nine assists, and No. 1 Baylor built a quick 25-point lead in an 80-47 victory against Kansas State in the quarterfinals of the Big 12 women's tournament Saturday.
Griner's effort came five days after she scored a Big 12-record 50 points in a win over the Wildcats in her final regular-season home game.
Kansas State (15-17) was within three well into the second half of last weekend's loss in Waco, Texas, but this time the Wildcats were down 21-3 just 7 minutes in when coach Deb Patterson called her third timeout.
Destiny Williams had 20 points to lead the Lady Bears (30-1).
Iowa State 77, Kansas 62: Chelsea Poppens had 24 points and 14 rebounds and Hallie Christofferson added 23 points as Iowa State defeated Kansas 77-62 in the quarterfinals of the Big 12 tournament on Saturday night.
Anna Prins scored 14 points for the second-seeded Cyclones (22-7).
Carolyn Davis had 17 points and Angel Goodrich 15 for the No. 7-seeded Jayhawks (18-13).
Oklahoma St. 59, Texas Tech 54: Kendra Suttles scored 16 points and Toni Young had 11 points and 18 rebounds to lead Oklahoma State past Texas Tech 59-54 in the Big 12 women's tournament quarterfinals Saturday.
Young made it 55-52 Oklahoma State with 38 seconds left when she was fouled after an offensive rebound and made both free throws.
For local news and more, subscribe to The Norman Transcript Smart Edition, or our print edition.


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Firefighters broke through the front window of a gift store on Franklin Avenue on Sunday morning to extinguish a blaze that engulfed the front of the shop with flames, a fire official said.
The fire in The Perfect Gift was a reported at 5:39 a.m. by a caller who noticed the flames and firefighters responded to the location, which is near fire headquarters, in about a minute, Belleville Fire Capt. Scott Wentworth said.
Firefighters forced their way into the building, ran hose lines and had the fire under control at 6:12 a.m., he said.
No injuries were reported and no other businesses were affected by the fire, Wentworth said.
It was the second fire in 24 hours for the department, which extinguished a fire in the attic of an Emmet Street home on Saturday morning that displaced two families.
The Perfect Gift, 353 Franklin Ave., was closed at the time of the fire. The business suffered moderate fire damage throughout the store, Wentworth said.
The blaze appears to have started near the front of the store and the cause is under investigation. Nutley and Bloomfield fire departments assisted at the scene.
Wentworth said Belleville firefighters effectively battle both fires over the weekend.
"They did very well and both fires quickly went out," Wentworth said.