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Watermelon Round Glass Bowl
This Pfaltzgraff Glass Watermelon Bowl will make a real splash at your barbecues and picnics. It's the perfect size for single-servings of delicious sherbet (such as watermelon sherbet!) and ice cream. And the juicy watermelon design is as enticing as the goodies you'll put on the plate! Hand-wash only with warm water and a mild detergent; rinse and dry immediately. Watermelon bowl holds 10 ounces.


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Upload Photo
Arrested and charged
Authorities in Westchester, Rockland, Putnam, Dutchess, Ulster and Orange counties have arrested and charged these people. Suspects are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
46 signs you're from Nassau Recent LI fires LI car accidents LI notable deaths New York City parties LI people on the move! Promotions, new jobs 45 signs you're from Suffolk Long Island rich cribs 100 things every kid should do on LI New York reacts to Eric Garner death LI man arrested in cold case murders Tempelton Group behind $18M fraud, police say

subset: commoncrawl


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This July will mark two decades that Frances Mayes has lived in Italy.
Mayes, author of "Under the Tuscan Sun," splits her time between Durham and Cortona, Italy. She has written her third memoir about living in Italy, "Every Day in Tuscany: Seasons of an Italian Life." Her book tour starts at 7 today at Durham's The Regulator Bookshop.
About this new book, Mayes says, "I wanted to write something about the everyday pleasures of living there."
Much of the book is devoted to simple scenes from her life at Bramasole, the Tuscan villa and farm that she and her husband, Ed, restored. She writes about eating chestnuts by the fire with her husband, breaking in their outdoor oven with a pizza party, folding laundry.
Even though Mayes' best-selling book led to a film by the same name starring Diane Lane, two furniture lines and a line of Bramasole olive oil, that doesn't mean Mayes' life in Tuscany has been all Sangiovese and geraniums.
For the first time, Mayes writes about finding a grenade and a threatening letter outside her home.
A few months before, Mayes and her husband had circulated a petition opposing the opening of a public pool near their home. Few of her neighbors agreed to sign, citing what Mayes describes in her book as a "fear of reprisal."
In other words, don't make waves or they will damage your car, burn your fields or worse. The grenade, it seems, was the response her neighbors feared.
"It was a shock to be the focus of something so negative," Mayes says.
Surprisingly, Mayes says, the townspeople embraced her afterward.
"They pulled me in as if I was one of their own," Mayes says. "I realized I had not been, even though I thought I had been."
To celebrate their anniversary of living in Italy for 20 years, Mayes and her husband are planning a three-day party for 50 friends and relatives.
"It's going to be so much fun, like planning a wedding," she says. The event will feature a feast around a long table with seating for 50, music, dancing, bocce, hiking and swimming. The event will celebrate this house that not only changed her life but the lives of her loved ones and friends.
"It was a random impulsive act to buy the house. It changed my life," she says. "It has kind of reverberated through many, many lives."
firstname.lastname@example.com or 919-829-4848


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diphenhydrAMINE (generic name)
Diphenadryl (brand name)
- Addiction
- Arthritis
- Auto Immune Conditions
- Bladder & Kidney Health
- Brain & Nervous System
- Cancer
- Caregiving
- Care Transitions
- Cholesterol
- Dental Health
- Diabetes
- Emotional Health
- Eye Health
- Falls Prevention
- Financial Planning
- Fitness
- General Safety
- Health Care Basics
- Healthy Living
- Hearing Loss
- Heart Health
- High Blood Pressure
- Life Transitions
- Lung Health
- Medications
- Memory
- Men's Health
- Nutrition & Weight Management
- Osteoporosis
- Pain Management
- Preventive Health
- Sexual Health
- Sleep
- Stomach & Digestive Health
- Stress & Anxiety
- Stroke
- Women's Health
What is this medicine?DIPHENHYDRAMINE (dye fen HYE dra meen) is an antihistamine. It is used to treat the symptoms of an allergic reaction.
What should I tell my health care provider before I take this medicine?They need to know if you have any of these conditions:
- diabetes
- glaucoma
- high blood pressure or heart disease
- liver disease
- lung or breathing disease, like asthma
- pain or trouble passing urine
- phenylketonuria
- prostate trouble
- ulcers or other stomach problems
- an unusual or allergic reaction to diphenhydramine, other medicines foods, dyes, or preservatives such as sulfites
- pregnant or trying to get pregnant
- breast-feeding
How should I use this medicine?Take this medicine by mouth. Follow the directions on the prescription label. Shake well before using. Use a specially marked spoon or container to measure your medicine. Household spoons are not accurate. Take your medicine at regular intervals. Do not take it more often than directed.
Talk to your pediatrician regarding the use of this medicine in children. While this drug may be prescribed for children as young as 2 years old for selected conditions, precautions do apply.
Patients over 65 years old may have a stronger reaction and need a smaller dose.
What if I miss a dose?If you miss a dose, take it as soon as you can. If it is almost time for your next dose, take only that dose. Do not take double or extra doses.
What may interact with this medicine?Do not take this medicine with any of the following medications:
- MAOIs like Carbex, Eldepryl, Marplan, Nardil, and Parnate
This medicine may also interact with the following medications:
- alcohol
- barbiturates like phenobarbital
- medicines for bladder spasm like oxybutynin, tolterodine
- medicines for blood pressure
- medicines for depression, anxiety, or psychotic disturbances
- medicines for movement abnormalities or Parkinson's disease
- medicines for sleep
- other medicines for cold, cough, or allergy
- some medicines for the stomach like chlordiazepoxide, dicyclomine
What should I watch for while using this medicine?Visit your doctor or health care professional for regular check ups. Tell your doctor or health care professional if your symptoms do not start to get better or if they get worse.
If you are diabetic use a sugar-free form of this medicine.
Your mouth may get dry. Chewing sugarless gum or sucking hard candy, and drinking plenty of water may help. Contact your doctor if the problem does not go away or is severe.
This medicine may cause dry eyes and blurred vision. If you wear contact lenses you may feel some discomfort. Lubricating drops may help. See your eye doctor if the problem does not go away or is severe.
You may get drowsy or dizzy. Do not drive, use machinery, or do anything that needs mental alertness until you know how this medicine affects you. Do not stand or sit up quickly, especially if you are an older patient. This reduces the risk of dizzy or fainting spells. Alcohol may interfere with the effect of this medicine. Avoid alcoholic drinks.


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Orange County
Pest Control
Welcome to the website of the last pest, termite, and general contracting company you will ever need. We are homeowners, parents, and pet owners that strive to live up to our motto Honesty, Integrity, and Excellence. We are a full service company that believes in exceeding our customer's expectations. Whether it is outstanding service, showing up when scheduled, knowledgeable staff, or just a desire to be treated the way you should


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GUEST OPINION: Feinstein brings science and truth to oyster debate
Published: Tuesday, September 18, 2012 at 4:49 p.m.
Last Modified: Tuesday, September 18, 2012 at 4:49 p.m.
A recent Close to Home submission ("Feinstein risking our Point Reyes heritage," Sept. 2) argued that the Drakes Bay Oyster Company's lease should not be renewed because the original intent of the enabling legislation for the Point Reyes National Seashore was to terminate the oyster farm lease in 2012 and declare the area wilderness. This is not true, as affirmed in a letter to Interior Secretary Ken Salazar in 2011 from former Assemblyman Bill Bagley and Reps. John Burton and Paul "Pete" McCloskey, who played a significant role in the creation of the park and the Wilderness Act.
This letter encourages Secretary Salazar to "grant a Special Use Permit for the continuance of the Drakes Bay Oyster Company in the Point Reyes National Seashore when its present Reservation of Use and Occupancy expires in November 2012."
The letter notes the Wilderness Act assigned a portion of the park to wilderness "but retained the 20,000 acres of ranchlands to be operated by lease to private ranchers and the oyster farm to continue to operate as a prior, non-conforming use."
Just prior to creation of the park in 1961, National Park Service Director Conrad Wirth's words to Congress and to the people of Marin County were specific: "Existing commercial oyster beds and the oyster cannery at Drakes Estero .
Recently, Bagley said, "Legislative intent is lasting. It is very difficult to change history if the authors of that history are still alive. What was exempted in 1965 is still exempted. It's an established right, and to try to take that away is either fraud or discrimination."
A 1974 letter from the Sierra Club regarding the park stated "the water area can be put under the Wilderness Act even while the oyster culture is continued — it will be a prior existing, non-conforming use."
In a 2007 presentation to the Marin County Board of Supervisors, park staff contended the oyster farm was adversely impacting natural resources in Drakes Estero, principally harbor seals and eel grass, and released a report, "Drakes Estero: a Sheltered Wilderness Estuary," to substantiate these claims. Interestingly, a 2006 National Park Service monitoring report on seal counts and disturbance makes no mention of the oyster farm in discussing the Drakes Estero seal population which increased in 2006. Aerial coverage of eel grass doubled in Drakes Estero from 1991 to 2007, expanding from 368 acres to 736 acres.
Marin County supervisors voted unanimously in 2007 to ask Sen. Diane Feinstein to help resolve this controversy, and she approached the National Academy of Sciences with a request to evaluate the environmental impacts of the oyster farm and the National Park Service report. The academy assembled a team of 11 prominent scientists from throughout the country who issued their findings in a 2009 review titled "Shellfish Mariculture in Drakes Estero."
They concluded "there is a lack of strong scientific evidence that shellfish farming has major adverse ecological effects on Drakes Estero." The National Academy of Sciences review further stated, "The National Park Service report in some instances selectively presented, over interpreted or misrepresented the available scientific information on (Drakes Bay Oyster Company) operations by exaggerating the negative and overlooking potentially beneficial effects."
Throughout the two-year National Academy of Sciences review, the park chose not to provide more than 281,000 photographs taken every minute of the oyster farming activities over a three-year period. None of these photographs indicate that Drakes Bay Oyster Company has an impact on Drakes Estero harbor seals.
Feinstein is using the best available science to inform public policy and decision-making about the Drakes Bay Oyster Company lease renewal. This science and the original legislative intent overwhelmingly support the continuation of the oyster farm as a non-conforming use in a designated wilderness area.
Paul Olin is an aquaculture specialist for the California Sea Grant Extension Program at the UC San Diego Scripps Institution of Oceanography. He lives in Santa Rosa.
All rights reserved. This copyrighted material may not be re-published without permission. Links are encouraged.


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Controlling Interests Editors' Blog
Phoenix Contact Goes off the Grid
To celebrate Earth Day, Phoenix Contact (www.phoenixcontact.com) will unveil its new combined cooling, heating and power (CCHP) system, and its president, Jack Nehlig, will ceremonially disconnect from the electric grid. The CCHP system is a natural gas, fixed microturbine system that will generate enough electricity to power the company's Americas...
Weekend Must-Read: ICSs May Not Be Safe from Heartbleed after All
Just because you've changed your Facebook and Dropbox passwords (you have, haven't you?) doesn't mean you can forget about Heartbleed. According to the Christian Science Monitor's Saturday edition, "Unconfirmed reports that Heartbleed has already been used to attack encrypted communications systems of US industrial control systems are being investigated, the...
See, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things.
The Heartbleed cyber attack is yet another wake-up call. We can't keep ignoring them.
ISA Website Gets a Makeover
The ISA launched its completely redesigned Web site yesterday. The new www.isa.org is a state-of-the-art, customer- and member-centric portal that delivers a more personalized and satisfying experience in showcasing ISA's products, services, resources and technical information.
What Happens When You Fail to Calibrate Your Flowmeters?
A flowmeter that is not measuring properly can cause many problems. In a custody-transfer application involving rude oil or natural gas, even the smallest error can cost a customer millions of dollars a year.
Who Is to Blame for Our Control Systems' Vulnerability?
Do we really need to have open systems and risk the cybersecurity of our control systems and plants, or can we do something to ensure the safety of our industrial networks?
Accidents Still Happen; They Still Cost a Lot
Republican House Speaker Joe Straus has tasked the House Committee on Homeland Security and Public Safety with investigating deficiencies in safety, risk management, and disaster planning at chemical facilities.
Are You Ready to Be Part of the Electrical Plan?
Integrated project management and electrical/automation systems promise to change the work habits of control engineers.
Robots Take Over, Humans Are Now an Endangered Species
Don't worry Sten Corfitsen and his business partners are doing something to save the human race. They have invented a fully automated, robotic refueling unit for cars.
Two Centuries of Gasification
Every day is somebody's birthday or anniversary. For example, Google has a doodle up today celebrating the 112th birthday of American author, John Steinbeck. But another, in some respects more important, anniversary is coming up.


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|Student life in residence halls
Who Is Eligible for Housing?
Any student currently enrolled at the University with at least 30 credit hours or more from any university.
Applicants must be admitted to the University at the time of application and must meet the minimum enrollment hours requirement:
- Six (6) semester hours for Dissertation
- Nine (9) semester hours for Graduate & Law students
- Twelve (12) semester hours for Undergraduate students
Enrollment is not required through the summer semester, however you must be admitted to UT Austin working towards a degree. The initial contract must be for a minimum of one year or longer.
2014-2015 Monthly Rental Rates
|Brackenridge & Gateway Apartments:
|One Bedroom Unfurnished
|Colorado Apartments:
|One Bedroom Unfurnished
|Brackenridge & Gateway Apartments:
|Two Bedrooms Unfurnished
|Colorado Apartments:
|Two Bedrooms Unfurnished
|Three Bedrooms Unfurnished
Apartment offers are made based on the number of occupants listed on your application.
Documentation - When the contract is signed, applicants are required to provide one of the following for each member residing in the apartment:
Adults (18 & over)-Photo ID
Passport/VISA UT ID Driver's license Any government issued ID
Minors (under 18)-Proof of relationship to contract holder
Birth Certificate I-20 Any other legal document verifying proof of relationship
Please read our Guest procedure for more information.
Electricity for Colorado and Gateway is billed by the University and listed on the monthly billing statement.
- Subleasing is not allowed and could be cause for contract termination.
- A student is limited to a maximum stay of seven years attending the University
- Completing the University Apartments online orientation and returning all required documents is mandatory before move-in is scheduled.
- Residents of Brackenridge are responsible for their own electricity and gas hook up and will be billed by the City of Austin and Texas Gas Service for these services.
- Electricity must be in contract holder's name and the confirmation email must be submitted to the Apartments office PRIOR to move in.


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Padding Level
Priscilla Unlined Bra
Priscilla Unlined Bra$44.00
Caress too Padded Bra
Caress too Padded Bra$36.00
Essentials Bustier
Essentials Bustier$48.00
Aubrie Contour Seamless Convertible Bra
Full coverage meets a convertible bra for the perfect, bra to wear under every outfit. The seamless design of this Felina Aubrie contour bra works well under T-shirts or form-fiting camis, while you can change the straps to cross or a halter for use with your other tops.$38.00
So Smooth Semi Demi Contour Bra
Seamless under wire and a plunge that's so low you won't believe it make the Felina So Smooth Demi Contour Bra perfect for under your t-shirts and just about every top you might have. The demi cut of these cups allows you to wear it during the day and move to beneath the evening wear, too.$32.00
Lush Lace Add A Cup Seamless Convertible Bra
Make a bold statement with the Felina Lush Lace Add A Cup Seamless Convertible Bra by felina. True to the name, the padded cups will give your breasts the lift that they desire whether you wear it alone or under your daily clothes.$40.00
Christelle Unlined Bra
Sometimes all you need is a light touch, and the Felina Christelle Unlined Bra offers it. This bra offers full coverage and femininity with the unique lace overlay that extends over the opaque demi coverage.$40.00
Enchanted Memory Foam Contour Bra
The Enchanted Memory Foam Contour Bra by Felina promises natural contours and a seamless look without sacrificing the pushup quality that you love. The Enchanted Memory Foam Contour Bra is the T-shirt bra you've been looking for all your life.$44.00
Dazzled Demi Bra
Jezebel Dazzled Demi BraRegular Price: $29.00
Special Price:$17.40
Stripe Delight Unlined Full Figure Bra
You'll be a star when you put on this bra, but don't think you have to sacrifice comfort. The straps are supportive and adjustable, the cups are lined with mesh for your comfort and the material is a soft microfiber blend to boot. By Paramour.$38.00
Parisienne Demi Memory Foam Contour Bra
Felina brings Parisian style straight to your lingerie drawer with the Parisienne Demi Memory Foam Contour Bra. Tuxedo style borders along the top edge of the cups make a bold and sophisticated statement.$40.00
Simone Unlined w/J-Hook
You want options, and the Felina Simone Unlined Bra with J-hooks provides them. The J-hooks allow you to wear the bra straps normally or create a crossed back for wearing under racer-back style tops and creating more dramatic lift.$40.00
Out of stock
Zoe Push Up Bra with Removable Cookie
A combination of mesh overlay provides plenty of interesting textures on the Jezebel Zoe Push Up bra. Keep the optional padding in for extra lift or remove it and simply wear this bra with its light lining to enhance your bust. The animal-printed mesh helps show your wild side, and it extends around the band of the bra.Regular Price: $32.00
Special Price:$19.20
Lush Lace T-Shirt Bra
Felina Lush Lace T-Shirt Bra features wings and back are luxuriated with two layers of micro modal.$40.00
Amourette Unlined Bra
Sometimes you just want the lighter side, and that's where the Paramour Amourette Unlined Bra comes in. Gentle shaping allow your breasts to look their best naturally, and you won't feel weighed down with foam.$36.00
Celeste Seamless Contour Push Without The Push-Up Pad Bra
For a smooth, seamless look that highlights your natural stunning curves, the Felina Celeste Seamless contour push up with out the push up pad gives you all the support you need without the awkward padding that you don't.Regular Price: $48.00
Special Price:$24.00
Decadent Semi-Demi Unlined Bra
Meet the Decadent semi-demi unlined bra. This bra pairs a sexy cut to reveal just a hint of the curve beneath while remaining more modest than most demi bras so you'll never spill out of the cups. Delicate floral lace overlay and reinforced vertical seams on the cups combine to add both visual appeal and texture.$38.00
Simone Contour Bra
Before you put on your t-shirts, try this seamless bra on for size. From the thick, adjustable straps to the underwire, you'll feel completely supported. By Felina.$44.00
Rue fauvet Unlined Bra
You'll feel ultra feminine in this unlined bra, which has no lining, so it's all you! Delicate lace covers the demi-cut cups, which allows your cleavage to steal the show and enables you to wear this bra under even the lowest of tops. By Black Bow.$48.00
Emily Seamless Strapless Padded Bra
Strapless bras might be about showing off your shoulders in a sexy dress, but the Emily Convertible Seamless Strapless bra is just as sexy as whatever you wear it under. With color-on-color stripes, delicate ruffles above the cups and lace and a bow between the cups, you won't be able to wait to get home and kick off your heels.Regular Price: $39.00
Special Price:$23.40
Shop by:
- Cup: C Remove This Item
- Category
- Unlined (14)
- Lightly Lined (13)
- Push Up & Add A Cup (12)
- Primary Color
- Padding Level
- Lightly Lined (12)
- Push up Padding (6)
- Unlined (14)
- Brand
- Price
- $10.00 - $19.99 (4)
- $20.00 - $29.99 (3)
- $30.00 - $39.99 (20)
- $40.00 and above (13)


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Please confirm your Province:
Settle into the lap of tech toy luxury with the latest laptop from Acer, Toshiba or HP. Gear up for the best in on the go gaming, entertainment and web browsing with laptops and laptop accessories from The Source. With everything from laptop batteries to HDMI cables to gaming mice, we'll keep your laptop connected in style.
Browse through our helpful consumer reviews to find the laptop that's perfect for you – and get it quickly at the best price thanks to our online flyers and simple ordering system.
© Copyright 2009-2014 The Source (Bell) Electronics Inc. All rights reserved.29
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in any form withoutpermission from The Source (Bell) Electronics Inc. The images shown do not necessarily reflect the actual image of the product.


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July 31, 2014
The Merrill Historical Society is quickly finishing its brand new building. The new Merrill History and Culture Center will be at the old Bethlehem Lutheran Church on East Third Street.
The society was organized in 1978 and since then used a space down the street at the old T.B. Scott House.
Now, historians have been working inside the 86 year-old church for a new and exciting historic space.
Organizers are excited about what the new building will bring. The expanded space will allow more room for exhibits and artifacts. Organizers also hope that the new additions will stir up people's curiosity to learn more about their communities' history.
The grand opening is set for February.
To comment, the following rules must be followed:
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Gender: Female
Years in Practice: 21 Years
Languages Spoken: English, Russian
Medical School: Wayne State University School of Medicine
Graduation Date: 1993
Hospital Affiliations: Henry Ford Macomb Hospital, Henry Ford Hospital, Henry Ford Wyandotte Hospital
Specialties: Pediatrics
©2005-2014 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.


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NAME: Eva Fabian
SPORT: Swimming
EVENT: 10k Open Water
BIRTHPLACE: Frederick, Md.
HOMETOWN: Keene, N.H.
SCHOOL: Oak Meadows (homeschool)
OLYMPIC EXPERIENCE: none
OLYMPIC MEDALS: none
PERSONAL NOTES: Outside the water, Eva likes to play basketball and baseball. She also plays the violin and the piano.
See photos of the medal winners that contributed to Team USA's 'Best Team' award
Team USA earns nine medals through first half of the competition


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Product Review: Pro-Lite Scrolling Message Signs
Manufacturer: Pro-Lite
E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com
URL: http://www.pro-lite.com/
Price: $150 US
Author: Walt Stoneburner
The Pro-Lite Tru-Color II PL-M2014R is an affordable multi-color LED scrolling message board that is capable of being controlled by a standard RS-232 serial port. The sign is obtainable from Pro-Lite directly (http://www.pro-lite.com/), but can also be purchased at various discount warehouses for approximately $150. The serial cable and Windows software are sold separately.
This article is not just a review; it can serve as a primer for Pro-Lite's PL-M2014R with ROM release 5.24Q and 32K of memory with Trivia mode, basically your standard sign. Until now, not much developer information has been available to the public, meaning signs were usually configured with the included infrared remote control to display static messages. For very little money, it is possible to build your own serial cable and control the sign using Linux to display more than static text.
The business and personal applications for a highly visible sign are almost limitless: reporting days until software delivery, announcing traffic congestion, providing the weather, showing the date and time, sending public messages, reporting system load, announcing new mail, showing who's logged in, warning when disk space gets low, login information, announcing unexpected server outages as a watchdog, etc.
Communicating with the sign is almost as simple as beaming text out the serial port; however, a bit of text manipulation is necessary in order to get the sign to respond and do advanced tasks. Linux handles the serial port communication, so sending information to the sign appears as trivial as writing to a file.
Luckily, the majority of the work can be accomplished by simple scripts. All you need is a basic understanding of the shell, AWK, PERL or Python, and you can be running in almost no time. The first hurdle is to build a cable and configure Linux to talk out the serial port.
The first step is wiring an RJ12 to female DB9 adapter. It requires no tools, and an adapter kit can be purchased at most computer supply stores for about $2 US. The only other thing you need is a length of RJ12 cable with male adapters at each end. This means a standard telephone cord will do nicely. Your cable will most likely have the standard colors black, red, green and yellow, in that order.
Cables come in two flavors: straight-thru and reversed. You'll need to take the RJ12 cable and put it end to end (like a loop) to find out which kind of adapter you need to build.
One of two things will be noticeable: either the wires will match black to black, red to red and so on, or they will reverse their order showing black to yellow, red to green and so on.
If the cable is a straight-through, where the colors match, wire your RJ12 to a DB9 adapter using Pin 2 as green, Pin 3 as red and Pin 5 as yellow. If the cable is reversed, then where the colors reverse sequence, wire your RJ12 to a DB9 adapter using Pin 2 as red, Pin 3 as green and Pin 5 as black.
Shove the unused adapter wires into the casing and snap the adapter shut. Take care not to let the exposed ends touch anything metal inside the adapter casing. You may want to clip the unused wires. Put an extension cable on your serial port and connect the adapter wires directly to the extension cable in order to test the wiring configuration before pushing the pins into the connector.
When all is said and done, one end of the RJ12 goes into the side of the LED sign, the other into the adapter you just made, and the adapter plugs into the computer.
My sign is plugged into COM1, also known as /dev/ttyS0. I've elected to use a symbolic link to the sign, in the event I ever decide to change to another serial port in the future. To make the link, as root type:
ln -s /dev/ttyS0 /dev/prolite
I tend to shy away from doing development as root. Putting security issues aside for the moment, we can make the device world-writable by typing:
chmod a+rw /dev/proliteThe sign communicates using No Parity, 8 Bits, 1 Stop Bit; no handshaking of any kind (hardware or software) is used. Early versions of the sign work only at 300 baud, but they can be upgraded to 9600 baud. All signs I've encountered had the 9600 capability right out of the box. The bottom line is that all signs are capable of communication, and even at 300 baud you can outrun the sign. The only drawback is that the sign's baud rate has to be set by the remote control, according to the setup in the manual. This needs to be done only once.
In theory, the sign requires a 15ms delay between each character sent to the sign. I've found that Linux's device driver seems to work just fine without having to do anything special in the software.
stty speed 9600 cs8 -parenb -cstopb cread \ -clocal -crtscts -ignpar -echo nl1 cr3 < \ /dev/prolite
Naturally, you can substitute any baud rate the sign will handle for the 9600. This command will work when you aren't root because it is world-writable.
The most important piece of information for communicating with the sign is that each command sent to the sign must end with a carriage return/newline pair. This is ctrl-M ctrl-J on the keyboard or 0x0C 0x0A in hexadecimal. C programmers will recognize it as \r\n. If you want Linux to handle the end-of-line sequence for you, type the command:
stty opost -ocrnl onlcr < /dev/prolite
When you send a newline, Linux will send both carriage return/newline automatically. Text can now be listed or redirected to /dev/prolite from the shell. If you want to send the carriage returns yourself, type:
stty -opost -ocrnl -onlcr < /dev/proliteWhere the options are defined as:
opost: postprocess the output stream.
-opost: do not postprocess the output stream.
-ocrnl: do not convert carriage returns into newlines.
-onlcr: do not translate each newline into a carriage return/newline pair.
onlcr: translate each newline into a carriage return/newline pair.
stty 0:705:bd:0:3:1c:7f:15:4:0:1:0:11:13:1a:0: 12:f:17:16:0:0:73 < /dev/proliteFor 9600,N,8,1 with no automatic carriage returns, use the line:
stty 0:700:bd:0:3:1c:7f:15:4:0:1:0:11:13:1a:0: 12:f:17:16:0:0:73 < /dev/prolite
im looking for pro-lite scrolling message signs
well i want to know if you guys would like to help me.. im looking for a scrollong message signs exacly as the picture that you have on the top
please help i want to buy one of this
scrolling message pc board
We are looking to purchase scrolling message boards in quantities of 100 pieces
Scrolling message boards
Hello Ray,
My name is Guy Tieman and I work for a sign and mill company. I just stumbled on this site while reseaching a few things and saw your interest in scrolling message boards. We are an OEM of several different LED displays. We are located in Fort Myers, Florida. Our number is (239) 936-9154. If you are still looking give me a call or e-mail me. I might be able to help.
Thanks for your time,
I have a led board which has 2 lines and 120x16 leds. The protocol described on this page is simular to the protocol used in my led board only it has some kind of security code in it.
For example:
This wil return a ACK, and the led board will show the message:
This wil return a NACK, and the led board does not change:
So there is a code right after the text... Another example:
<ID01><L1><PA><FE><MA><WC><FE>Leon ter Linden1B<E> = ACK
<ID01><L2><PA><FE><Ma><WC><FE>Leon ter Linden43<E> = NACK
Does anyone know how to calculate the code that comes after the text?
xor checksum
Here is the code to calculate the checksum.
The checksum is an xor of all the characters sent, without the first ID tag and without the end E tag.
static unsigned char
checksum(const char *str, unsigned char init)
unsigned char i = init;
while (*str != '\0') {
i ^= *str;
return (i);
main(int argc, char *argv[])
unsigned char csum = 0x0;
if (argc != 2)
msg = argv[1];
csum = checksum(msg, csum);
return (csum);
I also have this display. It appears that it is a simple signing pattern, but I haven't figured it out just yet. Finding anything on this on the web seems useless.
Prolite PL - 2111
any reason why there my loader input terminals 14 and R are soldiered together? Will the above work for model Pl 2111 ?
streaming text
I was wondering if any one knows how i can send streaming text to a prolite say text from a news ticker or scrolling music text from musicmatch
? ? ? ? ? ?
Re: Strictly On-Line: Product Review: Pro-Lite Scrolling Message
is there a way to reset the sign to factory?
The graphics are all jumbled.
Re: Strictly On-Line: Product Review: Pro-Lite Scrolling Message
That's the way a Pro-lite sign works.
All jumbled.
Re: Strictly On-Line: Product Review: Pro-Lite Scrolling Message
if you are using serial interface, send a
message to it to erase everything
Re: Strictly On-Line: Product Review: Pro-Lite Scrolling Message
I am trying hard to communicate with my Tru-ColorII and I've had little support from the company. Your explanation, it seems will help me. I wish "a lot".
Thank you
Marcos Ficarelli - Sao Paulo Brasil
Realy congratulations friend.
Re: Strictly On-Line: Product Review: Pro-Lite Scrolling Message
How do I get a new keypad for a Pro-Lite PL4012 or who is a dealer for this product. Thank you..
Re: Strictly On-Line: Product Review: Pro-Lite Scrolling Message
Their Phone # is 1-714-668-9999 or 9998.
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Arkansas' White River - 698Join this group
Conserving, protecting and restoring Arkansas' coldwater fisheries and their watersheds.
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event BY Bill Thorne ON July 30 - 0 COMMENTSWomen's Initiative- Beginning Fly fishingAugust 23
blog BY Bill Thorne ON July 8 - 1 COMMENTSWhite River Browns looking up!
White River brown trout are looking up these days, especially when we have minimum to moderate flows. We floated the white last week in about 2400 cfs and the topwater bite was pretty good with browns and rainbows taking Sulfur dries as well as hoppers and beatles. Pictured is a nice 19 incher that... [ READ MORE... ]
event BY Sara Thorne ON July 7 - 0 COMMENTSTU TuesdayJuly 8
TU at Dally' Flyshp % of sales goes to #698
event BY Wendy Luna ON July 6 - 0 COMMENTSMember Meeting, September 8thSeptember 8
Phyllis Spears scheduled to appear.Held at El Chico's Restaurant, Mountain Home, ARSocial Hour 6:00 - 7:00 p.m.Meeting starts at 7:00Optional Buffet dinner apprx. $10 per person. Cash bar.
event BY Wendy Luna ON July 6 - 0 COMMENTSMember Meeting, August 4th, 2014August 4
Frank Wallis, a retired journalist, will be the speaker at our August meeting. His program will be survey-oriented, with a view toward identifying any consensus on some hot topics in our TU chapter. Those include: What's local TU sentiment on the so-called hatchery funding crisis? U.S. Rep. Rick... [ READ MORE... ]
blog BY Wendy Luna ON July 5 - 0 COMMENTSSpring Spawn Project Continues
TL Lauerman, the Conservation Chairman for our local Trout Unlimited Chapter, came up with the idea of introducing Bonneville Cutthroat to Twin Lakes Area rivers using Vibert Boxes designed by Dave Whitlock. June 2014 was the third year of this planned five year planting program. Click to view more... [ READ MORE... ]
blog BY Wendy Luna ON July 5 - 0 COMMENTSJune 2014 Youth Camp Report
by Michael Schraeder Last weekend, our White River Trout Unlimited Chapter hosted its 5th Annual Youth Camp at the Norfork National Fish Hatchery next to Dry Run Creek. We had 34 youth/adult participants this year from five different states, with some coming as far away as Houston. This was my... [ READ MORE... ]
event BY Bill Thorne ON July 3 - 0 COMMENTSJuly Monthly MeetingJuly 7
Monthly meeting at El Chicos in Mtn. Home Social Hour at 6pm meeting at 7:00.
event BY Bill Thorne ON June 27 - 0 COMMENTSBonneville Cutthroat Egg PlantingJune 28
We'll meet at the pavillion up river from Ackerman's access, just look for TU sign. Stick around for lunch and fishing after we plant the eggs.
blog BY Wendy Luna ON June 25 - 0 COMMENTSWe'll be back
Thanks to Michael and Dawn Schraeder for all of the hard work and dedication. Thanks also to all of the other volunteers that made the camp such a great experience for us. What a great set of resources you have for passing on our wonderful tradition. Dry Run Creek is second only to the people... [ READ MORE... ]


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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Robin Lee: [QB] HI Jazzberry: Thank you for sharing all this with us. You've been through a lot! What I'm hearing here in regards to your sexuality (mind, I'm talking about your sexuality, not sexuality in general) is that in many ways it's always been defined for you. Your father, your classmate, and your abusive partner all defined *your* sexuality on their terms, terms that weren't at all good for you. I'm so sorry there was never any intervention with your classsmate, or with your father. Those are traumatic experiences you're describing. It makes sense too, given the positive messages you've received from the reading you've done and the education you received in high school, that you would consider healthy expressions of sexuality okay and even good for other people, but not for you. There's a lot to talk about here, but I'll just start with a couple of things: (for organization I'm numbering them; but the numbers have nothing to do with level of importance) 1. Did you ever receive any support for the abuse (and yes, that's abuse) you received from your father? You mentioned psychiatric testing above. Even though there was no diagnosis, did you receive any therapy? 2. In talking about the circles of sexuality, you mention that you perceive any sort of sensual touch from others as uncomfortable and vaguely sexual. What about the way you connect with yourself sensually? In other words, how do you interact with your body? 3. You've talked about how you think about the possibility of partnered sex. What about interacting with yourself sexually (which can be different from interacting with yourself sensually)? Is masturbation attached to the same self-prohibition that partnered sex is? [/QB][/QUOTE]
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Member # 59137
It's been a long time since I last posted here. In that time, I've been an on-and-off emotional wreck, fighting a battle with my mind...my mind often decides that it hates me, and tells me various iterations of/reasons for this on a daily basis. (I went through psychiatric testing with no diagnosis made--long story short, I'm painfully self-aware, and I hate it.) I've been like this for years, but it's gotten worse after last year's events.
One of my recurrent issues is that my mind has decided that I should be completely non-sexual.
Not asexual and/or aromantic, but that I actively shouldn't want or want to act on desires and/or sexual impulses (despite having them), and that I should fear them and be ashamed of myself for having them.
I'm not sure how this has come to be. I know for many years, I was terrified of my "first kiss", let alone my "first time being sexual with anyone". (Partly attributed to the threat of mono in high school--I was always afraid of getting infected.) When those things occurred, while safe in terms of 'physical' protection, my mind kept shaming me about what I was doing.
My mind's main message to me about desire, sexuality, and sexual behaviour is: "It's perfectly okay for everyone else to do all this stuff, but *not you*. You're supposed to be *better* than that and not do anything at all."
Now, my terror of physical intimacy partly stems from bad experience with an abusive relationship (I'm already scared of emotional intimacy with someone--physical intimacy? That's so far beyond thought that it's near-impossible!) and partly from the messages my mind keeps sending me.
I actively want sexuality to be a positive aspect in my life--I don't want to spend my life celibate and lonely. But the messages my mind keeps sending me are getting so oppressive and overpowering that on some days I've gotten irrationally angry and snapped at other people for "flaunting" their openness to be cuddly and kissy in public.
I'm scared.
I don't know if this is my mind's way of 'punishing' myself for having desire when there's no one to reciprocate it--punishing myself for wanting what I can't (or, in my mind, shouldn't) have.
Member # 25425
Welcome back, Jazzberry!
Is this something that has started recently (such as, since leaving that abusive relationship), or has it been going on for longer? Do you know when it started and what was happening in your life at the time that it did?
What were the messages surrounding sexuality that you grew up with? How did your parents talk to you about sexuality?
Do you feel that it is wrong for everyone, or just you? Do you have an idea of what it is around sexuality that you find wrong?
Member # 3
I'd also ask if maybe you might try and define sexuality or expressing sexuality: I wonder if that could help.
For instance, you seem to be framing it as something base (when you say you're thinking you should be "better" than having or expressing a sexuality).
I think being able to look at how you're defining sexuality and the expression of sexuality right now might give us something very helpful to work with here.
Member # 3
If it helps to have a framework for a non-personal, broad definition of sexuality, this might come in handy:
Member # 59137
First off, thanks for the welcome, replies and further questions to delve into the issue/s at hand.
This will be a VERY LONG post.
You have been warned.
Many trigger warnings for abusive behaviour.
To start off, I don't think there's anything wrong with having or expressing sexuality in a healthy manner. That goes out for other people. The only one that I feel is compelled NOT to is myself. In Transactional Analysis terms, my mindset is "I'm Not-OK, You're OK". I hope that explains it a little more.
This had been going on for a long time--it started probably around my early to mid-teens, and continued on from there. I wouldn't even allow myself to have crushes on people unless I felt there was a possibility of developing something. When I was in the relationship, my attitude towards my sexuality was much more comfortable and self-permissive. After the relationship and its brutal aftermath, the negative thoughts returned.
What was happening in my life when those thoughts began...runs right along with the messages I grew up surrounded with regarding sexuality. It wasn't really talked about, and for the most part, it was denied at all costs.
Family-wise, my father was/is abusive, and from when I hit puberty onward, things became progressively worse. I was yelled at for wearing cropped t-shirts and forced to change into cap-sleeved ones that didn't fit across the chest as well. I wasn't allowed to close the door to my room or to the bathroom when I needed to use either. I learned that my bedroom door never locked because he switched the doorknob with that of the linen closet. I became afraid to shower when he was around because he would barge into the bathroom and try to peek through the curtain. He once threatened to call the police and child services because I locked the door so I could shower in privacy. Once, sitting at home reading, he came into my room and warned me "This is what boys are going to try to do to you" before snapping my bra. If I took my mother's side when he was angry, yelling at her and threatening her, he called me his "second wife." When divorce proceedings went on, I cut off contact with him, but saw him predatorily staring at girls my age. I haven't seen or spoken with him in 5 years, but I'm still afraid because he knows my address and school. The message I learned from him was "You should be a clean little girl...but once you grow up, it's open season." It could partly explain why I'm uncomfortable with age disparity for myself--I'm always suspicious of age being used as a power-play.
My mom was/is relatively supportive of me developing a sexual identity--she never stopped my reading books on it, or asking questions which led to more books, though she was uncomfortable with my talking about setting up contraception for myself in advance of any relationship--she thought that having that in place meant I was ready to rush right into any sexual activity. Even now, it's a dicey topic, but we've found some mutual agreement to disagree. The message I learned from her was "Don't get physically intimate with someone unless you know them well enough to trust them, but otherwise, it's okay."
I feel it's sound advice, so I've adopted it.
At school...it was taught half-decently in elementary and middle school, and surprisingly well-taught in high school, supplemented with Planned Parenthood workshops on various topics beyond STIs--contraception, orientation, and building a sexual identity. I mostly read books on puberty, identity, sexuality, and body politics on my own (Lynda Madaras: THANK YOU) and figured things out for myself as a teen feminist.
Socially, it was hellish. I got bullied a lot--called ugly, accused of being a man in girl's clothing, was harassed by one classmate for 2 years with suggestive, explicit taunts that I was sleeping with him. Faculty did nothing about it--just said 'boys will be boys/maybe he likes you/standard ignoring statements'. I only got asked out in prank form, otherwise ignored, told that if I got laid I'd be more laid-back but it seemed clear that'd never happen the way things were. By high school, I was pretty much invisible. I gave up caring at that point, but I'd learned that I was a neutered being in the public eye, only pointed out when someone needed a punch line.
Theatre school was a lot more closed and cliquey, with hookups and couples forming like mildew on a shower curtain. I didn't know how to process it, so I blamed myself for being the odd one out. In an 'outside' class, I met the guy who ended up being my abusive relationship. I thought he was interested in me...from that I've learned to be suspicious if someone appears interested.
From the relationship, he rarely wanted to talk about the physical/sexual side of the relationship, and when we did anything physical/sexual, he was disinterested and would stop and pull away on the grounds that I was "enjoying it too much". I felt uncomfortable, and while I voiced that, it didn't change the way I was treated. From that, I learned that if I want something or someone, I should prepare to be rebuffed at all costs.
TL;DR version of all that:
Loads of shoddy life experience brought me here. I learned to blame myself for others' mistreatment.
I read over the article you linked to--it's eye-opening. It also shows there are a lot of areas that I'm really unsure of/unable to deal with.
The physical and chemical stuff I can handle, it's the emotional/intellectual and social/interpersonal/cultural stuff I can't handle.
In the Circles model...sexual/reproductive health is the only one I feel comfortable with. I can look after my health and be responsible about that, easy.
I haven't given too much thought to orientation/identity or behaviours/practices. When I have, I've felt okay with them, but they don't figure in as much.
Sensuality is something I'm not always comfortable with. I have to feel comfortable around someone in order to not react negatively to touch, and soft, gentle touches can sometimes feel like too much to me, almost sexual on my skin and I'll feel a need to remove the lingering 'sensation' (ex: scratching my shoulder hard after someone lightly taps it because the softness/gentleness of the touch made me feel uneasy).
Intimacy? Scares me right off the bat. Most of my experiences there have been enough to make me fear it for good.
Power/Agency? I see almost every social interaction as a power struggle, a fight to get the upper hand. I'm always afraid of being the one with less power. I have a decent amount of agency in these situations, and usually use it in fight-or-flight mode. If something makes me feel uncomfortable, I usually leave.
Overall, I don't see sexuality as something "base", but I feel uncomfortable with it enough that my mind creates an excuse for not being able to deal with and resolve it.
Hope that all helps.
Thanks again for listening.
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
HI Jazzberry:
Thank you for sharing all this with us. You've been through a lot!
What I'm hearing here in regards to your sexuality (mind, I'm talking about your sexuality, not sexuality in general) is that in many ways it's always been defined for you. Your father, your classmate, and your abusive partner all defined *your* sexuality on their terms, terms that weren't at all good for you. I'm so sorry there was never any intervention with your classsmate, or with your father. Those are traumatic experiences you're describing.
It makes sense too, given the positive messages you've received from the reading you've done and the education you received in high school, that you would consider healthy expressions of sexuality okay and even good for other people, but not for you.
There's a lot to talk about here, but I'll just start with a couple of things:
(for organization I'm numbering them; but the numbers have nothing to do with level of importance)
1. Did you ever receive any support for the abuse (and yes, that's abuse) you received from your father? You mentioned psychiatric testing above. Even though there was no diagnosis, did you receive any therapy?
2. In talking about the circles of sexuality, you mention that you perceive any sort of sensual touch from others as uncomfortable and vaguely sexual. What about the way you connect with yourself sensually? In other words, how do you interact with your body?
3. You've talked about how you think about the possibility of partnered sex. What about interacting with yourself sexually (which can be different from interacting with yourself sensually)? Is masturbation attached to the same self-prohibition
that partnered sex is?
Member # 59137
Robin Lee:
1) I knew my father was abusive in every way possible--but trying to explain it to support offered in the area I was living in at the time was difficult, if not useless. School counsellors reiterated the "you know, deep down, your father still loves you" speech countless times, and because the abuse was more psychological warfare than broken bones and lacerations, they either didn't understand or didn't want to get involved. I once got told by a volunteer hotline that because the sexual abuse wasn't outright molestation or rape, it didn't really count. I'm paraphrasing it, but it sure as hell didn't help.
The psychiatrist didn't offer therapy, but encouraged me to work with the therapists available at my school...one of which had outright victim-blamed me after my ex assaulted me on campus. I've seen a variety of different therapists throughout to try and work out things for myself, but more often than not the therapy leaves me feeling more messed-up than when I began treatment. Even with explaining what I've gone through, a number of therapists seem puzzled by the breadth of experience, accusing me of "playing the victim" and refusing to change if I feel uncomfortable with their judgments of how I shouldn't have taken everything so seriously, yada yada yada.
2) My interaction with my body is...well, "it's complicated".
I've been super-sensitive all my life--had to cut clothing tags out because they itched, disliked some foods solely for texture, cried at outdoor concerts because the bass mix in the speakers was too loud and giving me a headache. Standard description of Dabrowski's "sensual overexcitability", basically. (I was identified as "extremely gifted" at a young age, and this is a common trait. It partially explains it.)
When it comes to touch, for the most part, I'm okay with it. I still get freaked out at very light, delicate touches--the kind that people don't really do on purpose unless it's deliberately flirtatious/seductive (example: A drapes an arm over B's shoulders, but A lightly and deliberately brushes their fingertips against B's shoulder blade). Sometimes, if my body senses something like that by accident, or I sense a touch as slightly too "soft", it makes me feel "itchy" in my skin, like I need to scratch it away.
I wouldn't say I have a good relationship to my body either--the Cartesian mind/body split is a good way to describe it. I would love for my body to be as agile as my mind...but it's not.
Though I am grateful my body is healthy and can function well, I'm embarrassed by my lack of athleticism. I never did well in sports, and grew up in an area where athletic ability partly determined your popularity. I've always kept myself healthy and in shape, but I resent that I can't keep up athletically. I have some neuromuscular issues with fine-motor coordination, little strength beyond carrying bags of groceries, and run out of breath after about 10 minutes of an intense cardio workout when everyone else is going strong.
I know by now that I should "make peace" with my body, but I can't bring myself to that. I've always wanted to express myself more physically, and be more poised and graceful, without necessarily being a good dancer or acrobat...but I can't, and I feel guilty that I fail my own expectations.
Interacting with that, I can't say there's much I do about it. Excluding theatre work and classes, I try to avoid situations where intensive physicality is needed. In classes, while the profs are sympathetic and understanding of my limitations, I constantly compare myself to my classmates' physical abilities and see myself as lacking. On my own, I go for walks and am comfortable then, because I can set my own pace and not have to compare myself to anyone. Most of my free time is spent reading books and/or listening to music, neither of which require grace or poise. If I don't have to be in a group activity that shows me as awkward and ungainly, I won't do it.
I largely ignore the "sixth sense" Brillat-Savarin wrote of, "physical desire". Sight, smell, taste, hearing, (general) touch...I can handle my sensitivity to them. The "sixth" one mentioned...I'm still unsure of it.
This is a perfect segue into the third question...
3)I used to have less of a problem interacting with myself in a sexual manner--I read erotica, had no issues with masturbation, etc. until recently. I haven't done any of that for quite some time now. It felt boring and hollow, and in all honesty, I enjoyed partnered interaction more than interacting alone. Being able to work with and play off of someone else in a safe, sane, and consensual framework is a huge turn-on for me, and it feels better to me than doing by myself. Reading erotica, masturbation, and fantasizing aren't self-prohibited per se; I just find it easier not to because if I do, I'm reminded afterwards of how lonely I am.
Member # 3
jazzberry: this is a little OT, but if it makes you feel any better, I'm truly mortified by the response you've gotten from professionals in the past when reporting the abuse that happened in your upbringing.
I'm mortified because it most certainly was abuse, and I'm also mortified because the kinds of things you have posted about here recounting it are things I'd expect any professional in the field to know are, in fact, very common kinds of abuse, especially either a) before abuse escalates even further, and b) from abusive people who are intelligent enough to do only what they feel certain they can get away with.
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
Hi Jazzberry,
It's very clear that you do have an agile mind.
You're very perceptive and are able to articulate your observations and feelings very clearly.
As Heather said, the fact that those who should have known better denied your experience of abuse--did not listen to you at all--is appalling. I think it's real testament to your ingelligence and sense of self that you do recognize your experiences as having been abusive, in the face of such strong opposition and denial.
Is finding quality therapy something you would like to do? If so, we could help you see what's available in your area and evaluate whether it would be a good fit.
As I read through your feelings about and interactions with your body (and I can sympathise personally, as someone who's always been physically weaker than others around her) I noticed that you hold yourself to a certain standard. Let's see if I can explain what I mean with a very simple example.
Clothing labels: They're annoying to many of us, but it sounds like it goes deeper than that for you in terms of the sensitivity of your skin and the way your brain-body connection processes those sensations. At the same time, this doesn't make you problematic. Fixing the problem of the clothing labels is simple, and while your reactions are more extreme, most would agree that clothing labels are the problem.
Essentially, what I'm saying is that many of the things you describe as different or problematic about the way your body works are just the way your body works. There doesn't have to be a value judgement attached to this.
I think you know that logically, but the challenge comes when you try to assimilate that belief into your own reality.
Incidentally, I've heard several people who have had similar experiences of abuse to the ones you describe say that they experience sensitivity to light touches and irritating textures. I'm not sure if that helps you normalize the experience, but I thought I'd put it out there.
Making peace with your body sounds like a great goal, but it's not something that has to happen all at once. What is one thing you feel like you could do that would help you connect with your body. Perhaps it could be a fitness goal since you mention wanting to be more physically fit, but it certainly doesn't have to be.
What I'm hearing in the way you describe your relationship to yourself sexually is that masturbation, erotica reading, and so on, isn't as satisfying as partnered sex. Do I understand you correctly? I'm wondering if you feel the same sort of shame and anxiety around these solo sex activities as you do with partnered activities, or is it more of a lack of interest?
Member # 59137
Heather and Robin,
Thanks for the support. I'm close to crying in gratitude of that alone.
I'm not looking for therapy at the moment, but I appreciate the offer.
I'm a bit confused about what it means to "connect with the body", in all honesty. That might take some explanation.
Member # 3
(Btw, Jazzberry, just so you know, I've asked Robin and other vols to take the lead on this one. One of the reasons I so get some of what you're saying with your family history is that the dynamics and behaviours you described with your father are WAY too familiar to me: my stepfather? Was a mirror, seriously.
Because of that, I'm concerned some of this will be a little too close to home for me to not muck it up, which is why I'm staying a bit back, save expressing what I did. Just wanted you to know so you didn't think I was just blowing you off.)
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
You're very welcome.
When I talked about connecting with your body, I was talking about being fully present in it...not having that mind-body split that you talked about above.
You mentioned doing theatre. Do you act? If so, you could sort of liken connecting with your body with connecting with a theatre role, where, for the duration of the theatre piece, you become that person, with their thoughts, feelings, sensations, movements, likes/dislikes, etc.
Put another way, is there anything you do (and it doesn't have to be something physical) where you feel fully at peace and comfortable?
Regarding your fear and anxiety about sexuality, I'd like to suggest a book to you. It's written for sexual abuse survivors and I think you might benefit from at least glancing through it.
The book is: Healing Sex by Stacey Haines.
[ 09-27-2012, 01:34 PM: Message edited by: Robin Lee ]
Member # 59137
With regards to theatre--I'm studying it, so yes, I do act. And connecting with a role has been scary for me, because in "becoming" the part and feeling everything filtered through their being, I don't know how to react after the role is done, either going numb and slightly "shocked" or quietly freaking out because the feeling was overwhelming. It's something I'm learning to work with on that aspect as well.
Something that makes me feel at peace...often listening to music does that. I love going for walks and taking my headphones with to "lose myself in the music". Unless I force myself to focus on my surroundings, I'll get lost in my thoughts, often negative ones, but when I can stop my mind from overthinking...it's beautiful, but overwhelming. I don't go for walks very often, though I feel I should if I enjoy it. (I'll often force myself to be more social because I already spend so much time alone.)
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
Nodding.... You've mentioned loneliness a few times. In the first post you made in this thread you mentioned not wanting to be "lonely and celebate" your whole life. Those are two very different experiences (though certainly they can happen concurrently) so I'm wondering if you could say a little more about how they connect for you?
You've already mentioned that you're not interested at this time in finding therapy. Are you up for trying different resources, like the book I suggested above, and others we could give you?
Member # 59137
Sorry about the delay--things got tense and hectic lately.
To start, I'm okay with looking at various resources. I may not be able to physically get to some of the books, though, so I'll see what I can do there. If I can find free previews online or local library copies, it helps. If not, please bear with me. (I found a free preview of Haines' book, and I'm reading what I can.)
On the interconnection between loneliness and celibacy, 'twould be easier explained if I first explain each separately.
Loneliness...oof. It's a heavily weighted concept for me to begin with. I've spent most of my life getting rejected by people, especially the people I wanted to please or win acceptance from--family, potential friends/crushes, people I thought liked me but just wanted answers to homework, etc. The only person I've completely had on my side in my life is my mom, and though our relationship can be at times dysfunctional, I am loath to disentangle myself because she's all I have. (Family-wise, socially, support system...yup. All her. And neither of us wants me to spend my life this way.)
Paraphrasing the much longer story, I've spent many years being denied and/or told that I don't "deserve"--compassion, acceptance, love, someplace where I can be myself and not fear judgment or censure.
In public, though I come across as reserved, I'm willing to open up more and be myself when I feel comfortable around people. I make efforts to reach out--talking with people, inviting them for coffee or to just hang out, and asking them to then contact me to finalize details (the litmus test to see if they really do want to hang out or if they're just being polite)...like
this write-in question
, I'm not sure if everyone is flaky or politely rejecting at this point. There has to be a greater reason to my being the odd one out--it can't always be my fault and given due thereof.
I don't want to spend my life alone, but I'm terrified of getting hurt by others and sometimes think it better to be "safe" and unhappily isolated than keep getting cut deeper each time I try to be part of the "human world" I wasn't allowed into before. (Aristotle said that without social interaction, hu/man is either a beast or a god. That explains the "human" concept.)
On celibacy...it's not so much about the physical aspect as it is about not being "with" someone. (I recently sat near a group of colleagues discussing fetishes and "extreme" things they'd want to try out sexually...I stayed out of it because my idea of something "extreme" at this point is wanting to be with someone that I not only like, but who likes me back. That feels outlandish enough to me already.) The self-imposed celibacy is a result of that...I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, I don't expect anyone else to want it either at this point (see history of rejection/denial above), and I don't want to start daydreaming about something that'll depress me when I have to "return" to reality.
It's easier to daydream about work, studies, or travel, because I feel more stable and positive about dealing with adverse situations there. Anything involving social interaction or physical interaction feels like too much for me--I often suspect that I'll get hurt by them in the end.
For now, I'll leave as my final thought a verse from the song "Starship Trooper" by Yes. "Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever." This verse has been poignant as hell for me for many years, because trying to take the weight of loneliness away isn't something I can do completely on my own.
[ 10-07-2012, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: jazzberry ]
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
HI Jazzberry,
With this frequency and duration of social isolation, I can understand how deep your loneliness must feel. I don't imagine it helps with your sense of yourself as a sexual being or as a social being when your workmates are discussing fetishes and sexual adventurousness. (I'm not sure the workplace is the most appropriate place for a drawn-out discussion like that, anyway.)
A lot of things (albeit interconnected things) have come up here. Among them: healing from past relationship and sexual trauma, building a healthy sexuality for yourself, feeling less isolated socially and feeling the possibility of romantic connection in your future.
Do any of these feel more important than any others? Anything key that I missed?
Socially, have you found it possible to connect with people over more superficial things? I imagine that going to groups that cater to people with shared interests has been suggested to you before, so I won't suggest it, but will simply asked if you've done things like that and if you've felt any more connection with peoiple, even if they don't end up taking you up on your suggestion of further contact?
I know you had some downright unpleasant times with therapists, but was this rejection and struggle with social contact ever discussed? If so, any breakthroughs?
I read something in a novel once about how being alone wasn't the same as being lonely. What do you think of that? Along with your strong desire for companionship, do you feel comfortable in your own skin?
Member # 46362
hi jazzberry,
I am sorry that the abuses happened to you, and I am glad that you can understand them as such, despite so many people negating them. I can relate, as I have some partially similar problems (which I won't detail here, because it's not my thread, and the kind people of Scarleteen had already discussed most of them with me. )
What I wanted to say is that "You should be a clean little girl...but once you grow up, it's open season." sounds like a very logical base for fearing sexuality, and maybe there is a part of you that still believes that it would be bringing with itself all kinds of horrific things? Like you can protect yourself just by staying "clean"? (Or maybe not, in which case sorry.)
also, I hope you are not blaming yourself for understanding things in an intellectual level but being still defined by them in an emotional level, in AT terms, the basic script is hard to modify alone, and the parts of your mind can believe in very different things.
Why did you say that you don't want therapy? Is it because of money issues, or for the (awful) past experiences? The volunteers offered to find you someone better, what about that? When I first started going to a psychologist, and before it could actually do anything, the awesome thing was that I had permitted myself to hope, because there was someone (an expert!) who said that she thinks it can get better, even after me telling the short version of the problems. I know people and situations are different, I just wish you the same. (And after that came a lot of work and stops, so it's not all pink, but I have found people I have things in common with, and things are changing.)
I wish you the best. (is there any nice expression for agnostic blessings?) You deserve to be happy, and there must be people out there who would be honored to be with you.
Member # 59137
naplement, thanks from an atheist for the agnostic blessings. I wish you the best as well.
To start with, I'm studying at theatre school. Still, it's a professional-calibre program, and I refer to is as such, framing classmates as 'colleagues' for the most part. Most of my classmates/colleagues are relatively open about goings-on in their lives than I am. Their frank discussions and/or recounting of 'sexcapades' are entertaining, if not mildly humourous, but it makes me feel insecure because I'm still 'awkward about it', to use their words. (It's not as relevant, but an 'aside' to explain that part out.)
You're right. There IS a lot to deal with, and so far, I'm not seeing anything missed. I would put "feeling less isolated socially" as the central issue thus far, because often it seems easier to move forward and heal other interconnected aspects when the central one is taken care of. Having said central issue neglected for so long, I often think of myself as unsocialized, somewhere on a sliding scale between Amy Farrah-Fowler on "The Big Bang Theory" (awkward and formal, but willing to adapt--for that among other aspects, I favour her over Sheldon on the show) or, on the other end of extremes, a feral child (a messy tangle of nerves that could lash out and attack without warning). It's not a pleasant thought. I think that it's partly due to my experiences that acceptance and abuse were on a continuum of sorts, and I often (irrationally) fear that being close to someone means that I'll hurt them as much as or more than I fear getting hurt.
Going to groups has been the most suggested thing to me from every therapist, concerned/irritated teacher, and my mom (for a limited time). I've gone to book clubs, movie groups, free activities, and used to spend time in the 'club hallway' on campus.
I find that in groups, after a certain point, people will "cluster" and I end up floating on the outside. It depends on the group as well--structured ones sometimes work, but things can still get dicey. I have strong opinions and don't like mincing words on them--but it gets tiring playing self-defence. I didn't find that much in terms of shared interests, because even if I wound up sharing an interest with one or two people, there wasn't much in common beyond the group. (I cultivate interests in as many different thngs as I can. If something really interests me, I love researching as much as I can on it before hitting the "obssessive fan in love" mark. I like being a fan of something, but in moderation...I don't find extremism workable.)
Over a year ago, I was sort-of acquainted with several groups and clubs in the 'hallway', and they weren't really people I would otherwise choose to be friends with, but they didn't mind me. Even there, it seemed that others would all get together outside and I couldn't break into it. (Flakiness, irresponsibility, and drugs/drinking off-campus also made me really uncomfortable.) Some of them were friends with my ex, so since the assault last year, I cut off all ties with them. I wasn't close with them to begin with, and their humour was at times offensive/hurtful. (I still have to walk past the 'hallway' and through the stairwell where the assault happened to get to class every day. Not exactly reassuring.)
I have discussed my social struggles with therapists...and the response wasn't reassuring, regardless of the therapist. The first one I'd seen when being severely bullied suggested I "dumb down" and conform so that the taunting would stop. I refused, and carried the belief that social acceptance involves some kind of personal 'sacrifice' from that advice. I don't dig in my heels, but hiding myself or silencing myself for acceptance isn't really acceptance if I'm not what others think I've become. The insistence to conform was a recurring theme with therapists, school counsellors, etc. One therapist of more recent note suggested I use people around me as "practice" for making friends. I was sort-of acquaintances with a group at the time, but wanted to find people I could relate to more comfortably. If I kept "practising", with them, I explained, eventually I'd be part of the group, and to ditch them would then be callous and cruel. It didn't feel right to me to "use" people in that manner, and the therapist didn't take well to my saying so. The last therapist I saw, after that one, also said the same, in conjunction with the "conform a little" advice, and when I pointed out the issue with both, angrily said that if I refused their advice, then I didn't want to help myself. (This was the same therapist who victim-blamed me for being assaulted. Not a paragon of helpful advice to begin with.)
The novel quote you mentioned sounds like Cacioppo's nonfiction study of loneliness. (Great book, I might add.) He has a point. I don't mind being alone. I enjoy doing things on my own. I've mentioned before, the books, music, walks, exploring things...those are fine by me. For instance, my class went on an "inspirational outing" to a local museum a while back. Instead of joining the group tour, I chose to explore the permanent collection with a music guide. It gave me a chance to connect with the works differently, and explore at my own pace. (I later found out the group tour wasn't so great.) I've gone to a few shows on my own as well. Those too are fine by me because I can watch and react without looking over to check if someone else is enjoying it or not (which I have done on countless occasions). Still, instead of going off by myself on short breaks between classes and rehearsals, I sometimes stick around in the hopes that I can appear more 'sociable', because disappearing doesn't look too good either. In the next several months, with classes and rehearsals, I'm not going to have much time to myself. I'm dealing with it--I know it won't always work out, but I'm trying to work with what I've got at the moment.
Member # 79774
Hi, jazzberry. I hope I'm not butting in; I'm feeling some echoes of familiarity in some of the things you're writing about, and had a few thoughts.
I'm so very sorry that people generally haven't been supportive, and that those therapists responded as they did. That's so not ok. Conforming might be a reasonable suggestion to make for socialising, but it's so not acceptable as a solution for bullying and exclusion. It's never ok to imply that bullying is the victim's fault and that they should change to stop it.
I realise that you and I are significantly different, but I'm also getting the feeling that there are a few similarities, perhaps in the kinds of ways we think and/or the way a lot of the rest of the world responds to that. I, too, have experienced people repeatedly not understanding or grasping what I was trying to tell them about a bad situation, not really believing me or really accepting what I was saying, and not helping. At this point, I have to wonder whether it maybe wasn't anything up with me, or you, and not unlucky coincidence, but maybe that even many supposed professionals just Don't Get how we analyse and present things. Maybe. I just wondered if it would help you to think that it really Isn't your problem, and it isn't just you.
I've also had people repeatedly suggesting basic stuff like "join groups" as a way to make friends. They just don't get it. I'd be Doing groups, every night, for years, talk with people there, and yet still come out with no friends and no real personal connections. People seemed baffled that different advice than this was needed, and I was baffled that apparently everyone else knew how to make this work and I didn't. It wasn't an encouraging experience.
From what you say, I'm gathering that one problem you have is that people around you are genuinely not a good fit for you; they're not people who you really find it rewarding to spend time with and be close to. Do I have that right? The second thing, I'm not quite sure of. Do you feel that you know how to build up a friendship? For example, if you did meet someone who felt interesting and good to be around, would you be able to pursue that, would you know what to do, and would you be comfortable enough to do it?
Do you remember ever being around anyone who felt like a good fit, who felt rewarding to be around? (For much of my own life until the present, my answer would be "no". So I suspect that you're less peculiar than some of these folk you've dealt with seem to think you are.)
Member # 59137
Redskies...thank you.
I appreciate the consideration. You're not butting in; I'm glad to hear your perspective and questions.
It's easier to accept that the support systems available aren't always able to handle issues. My mother (also an abuse survivor) worked in social services before I was born, and from her experience in the field, a great deal of (if not most) therapists knew the textbook cases, but didn't understand them--unless they'd experienced something similar, they couldn't understand the patient's perspective to work with them in the most helpful way.
The first thing you asked feels self-evident. I don't think I've met people who felt like a good fit for me; most social events have been awkward, and anxious either in the moment or in hindsight. In most social events, after leaving and getting home, it takes a few hours for me to "decompress" from the mental strain of trying to gauge others' reactions in context. (And if drinking or drugs were there, sitting sober with my water bottle feels even more uncomfortable because I don't like seeing people lose control of themselves.) I would like to feel comfortable around people--not constantly monitoring, but be able to relax and not feel I have to make excuses for my reactions.
The second thing, I'm also not quite sure of. I logically know what it takes to make a relationship, friend or otherwise, but I'm not altogether sure of myself in pursuing it. I'm so used to either chasing after and giving too much or offering and getting nothing back. If I asked someone to send me a message to continue making plans and they did, I'd be thrilled, but probably a little suspicious of their intentions. So on a "rational" level, I think I know what to do, on an "emotional" level, I don't trust myself enough to think so.
Member # 79774
I had a read back of your previous threads to get a bit more focused on this.
It sounds to me as though people who've tried to help before have tried to tackle your lack of friends/real social contacts and your attempts to build connections with people around you together, as part of one big thing. What strikes me is, it might be much more helpful to separate these things and tackle them separately. It sounds to me as if the people around you are just not a good fit as possibilities for real friends, so trying to create friendships out of it just sounds like a non-starter and likely to make you feel worse about not being able to form friendships. I really do think that there are people out there who would be a good fit for you, they just might be a bit rarer and tricky to find. I do understand that it's important professionally and for some personal comfort to have some level of connection with the people around you, and it actually sounds like you're doing quite a reasonable job at it. When those people just don't fit so much, trying to make them into friendships is pretty much like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I think you might find it easier to form connections of some description with them if you knew you had better social outlets elsewhere and could be more relaxed and personally at peace with the lack of true friendship with your classmates.
So, I would probably suggest addressing the two things as separate issues. Does that sound like something that would be helpful?
If that's a route you'd like to take, I'd probably suggest brainstorming how you might meet people who could be real friends. I'd probably start by asking what sort of people you think would suit you, what sorts of things do you need and are important to you? I have a few thoughts from things you've already said are important to you, but you start this off, if you like. Does that seem like something helpful?
In terms of the people around you, it sounds like you're already managing quite well in what is, honestly, a difficult situation. It's hard to be the person that nearly everyone else finds a bit peculiar or "different". I guess I'd start by asking if you feel any differently about it, or if it seems any different to you, if you think of it as building functional acquaintanceships rather than trying to find real friendships.
I'm not overlooking that you're expressing having difficulties with social situations, but I can't help feeling that addressing that without you having people who you have any chance of genuinely connecting with and feeling comfortable with would be rather putting the cart before the horse, and the cart just isn't going to go anywhere. Adjusting the wheel action isn't going to show you any results if you're trying to drag the cart up a rocky crag. And it sounds to me like you've done enough of that, and unsurprisingly it hasn't brought you happiness.
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Whole home rental in excellent location and close to everything!
Whole home rental in excellent location and close to everything!
Let our Casa be your Casa.
Our home for rent in San Miguel is only blocks away from La Parroquia and the Jardin. Importantly, the four blocks are not straight up a sharp hill! We have had guests of all ages (1-76) stay and they all found the walk easy. Even better, this close proximity is yours without having to endure the noisy night activity often found in the Centro. Our home, as can be seen on the attached map, is on a short one-way alley off of Umaran with only 5 residences. That means the street gets little traffic and noise but is close to everything and safe.
The home is perfect for couples due to the romantic master suite and sweeping views of San Miguel. We recently completed a remodel of the master bath to add a glass-enclosed soaking tub allowing you to soak while sipping wine (or tequila!) and gazing at the stars. The house is also perfect for families due to the many separate sleeping areas and bathroom facilities, and laundry.
It is an extremely comfortable three-story home broken down as follows--
Roof level: Master suite with full bath and tub and spectacular terrace for outdoor living. Fully furnished bedroom with boveda (arched brick ceiling), 22" flat panel TV, DVD player and DISH satellite TV w/HBO, double bed, nightstands, alarm clock/ipod dock. Romantic gas fireplace. Outdoor table with seating for 4, along with Zero Gravity lounger.
Second Floor: Bedroom, sleeping den, and Full bath. Bedroom with double bed adjoins to full bath and has a gas fireplace. Sleeping den has bunk bed with double bed on bottom and twin on top. Desk and chair.
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Fall 2013: We have just completed a full kitchen remodel and it is gorgeous! New stainless steel dishwasher, gas cooktop, built-in oven, and refrigerator. Granite counters, ornate tile backsplash, blue stained cabinets with Moroccan details. You will be more than pleased. We have added pictures but, alas, they do not do the house justice! Feel free to ask any questions if you want further information as to details.
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O. and P.
UPDATE: There (email hidden) webcam setup in the Jardin for those who are interested in seeing the goings-on in the main square, El Jardin. The camera is actually facing the street that leads down to our house:
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|Room type:
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|Extra people:
|$10 / night after 4 guests
|Minimum Stay:
|5 nights
|Weekly Price:
|$525 /week
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|San Miguel de Allende
We had a fantastic stay with some friends at La Casa Nuestra. The location is great, very close to the center of the city, easy walking to all of downtown. The kitchen is well equipped and there are at least two mercados nearby where we were able to purchase veggies and food to prepare for the week. The house is very comfortable, well furnished, quiet and the bathtub on the terrace is amazing.
Petrus & Onika were very responsive via email and phone, answering questions and providing tips about places to visit during our stay. Check-in/out was very easy and they were very accommodating, letting us stay a little later than expected on our day of departure.
I would definitely stay again, and easily recommend the house to others!
This place was absolutely stunning, and was so hard to leave! The home was perfectly appointed, and Petrus was available via phone for any questions we might have had. We found the city to be enchanting and full of things to see and do, and our hosts had a list of excellent activities for our family, which includes two young kids. We could not have asked for a better stay in Mexico, and hope to be back soon.
Thank you Petrus and Onika!
We loved La Casa Nuestra, so close to everything, nice quiet street, and so artfully decorated in traditional Mexican style. The 3rd floor bedroom and soaking tub was marvelous! Petrus is so helpful and full of information, he is the consummate concierge.
We enjoyed a terrific month in SMA, thanks to Onika & Petrus and their lovely home. Although not fancy, the house is extremely comfortable and spacious, especially in the vertical sense...where three floors allow for folks to spread out and enjoy the attractions...and privacy, of the three levels.
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Jessica, the extremely competent and helpful property manager, is just a phone call away, as is owner Petrus, who offers generous advice any time of day.
We plan to return may times!
La Casa Nuestra was a perfect home from which to enjoy and explore San Miguel de Allende. The organization of the home was great - lots of privacy, and comfort. A gas fireplace on each floor, a third floor bedroom with spectacular views day and night. We loved sleeping with the double doors open, with lots of fresh air. It was perfect for the two of us for our three-week stay - and perfect with our daughter and husband for a week, and another couple for a week. The hosts made sure that we were enjoying our stay.
The "magic box" phone made it possible to send and receive calls from the U.S. directly with no charge; the wi-fi worked perfectly throughout.
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We have absolutely no complaints, and hope someday to stay there again (perhaps even next year).
We only know our hosts from their quick responses to any questions on the telephone...the house was spacious and well (email hidden)d we enjoyed the warmth of the fireplaces during chilly days and nights..and the ability to catch up with world news in English on CNN/MSNBC...and to catch up with our friends/family on the Magicjack phone..and watching the sunset from our terrace was sublime... .We truly enjoyed our stay!!!
There were many wonderful things about our stay in San Miguel at Casa Nuestra but there are three important things every traveler wants when using air BnB. Casa Nuestra had what I wanted!
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So, as I said, my three top requirements were met quite nicely.
Thanks you!
Spent wonderful 2 weeks at fully-equipped home. Convenient to everything. Petrus was very helpful in arranging our pickup at airport, cook for first meals, telling us about stores and restaurants, etc. Hope to return for longer stay next winter.
We enjoyed our stay at the house very much!. It its on an excellent location. Just a few blocks from the main square but far so that you dont hear the noise at night. The best location you can ask for. The house is very clean, it has all of the amenities needed. Private area, hardly no traffic. Excellent for a family if needed. I five minute walk and you're at the main square.
Definatelly recommend this house to anyone. I know where i'll be staying from now on when I travel to San Miguel.
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