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- Home
- Health Information
- Condition Detail
(Breast Surgery; Surgery for Breast Cancer; Surgery to Remove a Breast)
- Partial mastectomy or lumpectomy—a tumor and a small margin of surrounding breast tissue is removed
- Simple mastectomy—the entire breast is removed
- Modified radical mastectomy—entire breast and some lymph nodes in the armpit are removed, but chest muscles are left in place
- Radical mastectomy—entire breast, lymph nodes, and chest muscle are removed (rarely done)
Mastectomy |
Copyright © Nucleus Medical Media, Inc. |
Reasons for Procedure
- To treat breast cancer
- To prevent breast cancer if you have a family history of the disease and are at very high risk for breast cancer (occasionally done)
- To treat severe side effects from previous treatment for breast cancer (rarely done)
Possible Complications
- Bleeding and bruising
- Seroma (accumulation of clear fluid in the incision)
- Infection
- Swelling of the arm caused by accumulation of fluid in lymph nodes (lymphedema)
- Limited arm and shoulder movement
- Numbness of skin on upper arm
- Pain after the procedure (burning, stabbing pain where breast was removed)
- Obesity
- Poor nutrition
- Smoking
- Recent or chronic illness
- Use of certain medicines or dietary supplements
What to Expect
Prior to Procedure
- Physical exam
- Mammogram—a test that uses low-dose x-rays to make a picture of breast tissue
- Fine needle biopsy of the breast—a thin, hollow needle is used to remove a small tissue sample from the breast
- Blood tests
Talk to your doctor about your medicines and supplements. You may be asked to stop taking some medicines up to one week before the procedure like:
- Aspirin or other anti-inflammatory drugs
- Blood thinners, such as clopidogrel (Plavix) or warfarin (Coumadin)
- Arrange for a ride home. Ask someone to help you at home.
- Eat a light meal the night before the surgery. Do not eat or drink anything after midnight.
Description of the Procedure
How Long Will It Take?
Will It Hurt?
Average Hospital Stay
Post-procedure Care
- If you had cancer and it has spread, chemotherapy and/or radiation may be needed.
- The drainage tubes may be removed in 1-2 days.
- Managing pain and nausea—You might require anti-nausea and pain medicines. You may be nauseated for a few hours after surgery and may not be able to eat normally. Therefore, you may continue to receive fluids and sugar through an IV. For several days after surgery, you may need to eat a lighter, blander diet than usual.
- Preventing blood clots—You may be given special compression stockings to wear after surgery. These help to decrease the possibility of blood clots forming in your legs.
- Improving lung function—You may be asked to use an incentive spirometer. This is a device that helps you breathe deeply. It is important to breathe deeply and cough frequently to improve lung function after general anesthesia.
- Keep the area clean and dry.
- If you have drainage tubes, empty the drains and measure the fluid. Tell your doctor if you have any problems.
- Avoid vigorous activity for about six weeks.
- Work with a physical therapist. Therapy may involve shoulder and arm exercises.
- Ask your doctor about when it is safe to shower, bathe, or soak in water.
- Be sure to follow your doctor's instructions.
If you have had lymph nodes removed, take these precautions to avoid fluid accumulation and infection:
- Elevate the affected arm.
- Perform range of motion activities with the arm. Start slowly.
- Do not have blood pressure taken, blood drawn, or shots given in that arm.
- Wear gloves to do dishes, household scrubbing, and yard work.
- Do not wear anything tight on that arm, including elastic in sleeves.
- Do not carry anything heavy with that arm.
- Use moisturizer on that arm.
- Use an electric shaver to shave your armpits.
- Do not get a sunburn.
Call Your Doctor
- Signs of infection, including fever and chills
- Redness, swelling, increasing pain, excessive bleeding, or discharge from the incision site
- Cough, shortness of breath, chest pain
- Nausea and/or vomiting that you cannot control with the medicines you were given after surgery, or which persist for more than two days after discharge from the hospital
- Redness, warmth, swelling, stiffness, or hardness in the arm or hand on the side of the body where the lymph nodes were removed
- Swelling and/or pain in your legs
- New, unexplained symptoms
- Lumps or skin changes in remaining tissue on mastectomy side
- Lumps, skin changes, or nipple drainage in remaining breast
- Depression
American Cancer Society http://www.cancer.org
Breastcancer.org http://www.breastcancer.org
Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation http://www.cbcf.org
Canadian Cancer Society http://www.cancer.ca
Axillary lymph nodes. Breastcancer.org website. Available at: http://www.breastcancer.org/pictures/breast%5Fanatomy/axillary%5Flymph%5Fnodes. Updated May 2008. Accessed July 22, 2008.
Surgery for breast cancer. American Cancer Society. Available at: http://www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/detailedguide/breast-cancer-treating-surgery. Updated September 2007. Accessed July 23, 2008.
Treatments and side effects. Breastcancer.org website. Available at: http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment. Updated July 2008. Accessed July 22, 2008.


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Downloadable BHA Fact Sheet (PDF)
Business is booming in American Healthcare, and Health Administrators are on the front lines.
Take advantage of the opportunities – Enter the field of Health Administration with a Bachelor of Health Administration degree from the College of Health and Human Services.
Outstanding Preparation
The Bachelor of Health Administration degree from Governors State University is designed to take you from an introductory understanding of Health Administration to a comprehensive background in the vital aspects of health and healthcare management – so you can enter the profession confident of your ability.
Coursework covers topics as diverse as ethics and politics in healthcare, to institutional management and healthcare law. You'll learn informatics, healthcare economics, statistics, human resource management, and planning.
When you're finished, you'll be ready to enter the challenging field of Health Administration and meet the demands of a new career.
* National Center for Health Statistics Health, United States, 2006, With Chartbook on Trends in the Health of Americans, Hyattsville, MD: 2006)
BHA Program Application Deadlines
Completed applications must be received by June 15 for the Fall term; October 15 for the Spring term; and March 15 for the Summer term.

subset: commoncrawl


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SMF Support > SMF 1.1.x Support
Tick boxes
I see there are tick boxes down the right hand side.
What do (will) they do?
Daniel D.:
It's a sort of quick administration for moderators. Look into the Test Board.
Thanks, that explains it. :D
I think my members would ask the same, is it not possible only to display it for moderators or admin?
Daniel D.:
I think it is. We've to ask Unknown, which state of development this feature has.
You can disable them in your profile, I'd imagine there will be an option in the admin section to disable them by membergroup as well, but thats just a guess.
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Hi buddy keep up the good work. YB.Shep
Nice to meet you.
Today is Brillo8"s birthday!!! wish him a great day!!!
Today is Oklahomaredneck"s birthday!!! wish him a good one!!!
Hi, BIG congratulations on having the dedication to post for 200 consecutive days. WOW!! Keep up the great work and Good Luck in the future! Your buddy, Warren :-)


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safe • smart • simple
I just received my order and wanted to tell you how delighted I am both with the order and the service...I'm sure I'll be purchasing from you in the future.
A compact fabric travel high chair that folds down to the size of a diaper in its own matching bag.
Say "Goodbye" to using dirty high chairs at restaurants! Now you can easily take your baby's chair with you on all of your outings.
This product is shipped by the manufacturer usually in business 2-3 days.


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Aerosmith Walk This Way
Aerosmith Sweet Emotion
Aerosmith Back in the Saddle
Aerosmith Dream On (Live)
Aerosmith Legendary Child
Aerosmith Lover Alot
"Dream On" Pro Upgrade
"Sweet Emotion" Pro Upgrade
1 Or 2 New RBN Tracks
3 Or More New RBN Tracks
If they toss in a few more legendary packs like this before the end of DLC, I will be happy. Rolling Stones, The Eagles, Tool.
Either way, amazing dlc this week!
Couldnt agree more... what a fantastic way to lift the gloom thats been hovering around here these last few weeks. THIS kind of artist and pack is a worth a fortnights wait - hell its worth a lot longer than a months wait for many. These days its takes that long (a month) to spend 800MSP on RB songs, yet here i am now already set to spend that much again on a single tuesday.
Well played HMX
Hoping for more british music on RB Blitz
Kupo <3
Aly <3
Vita <3
Tati <3
Pro upgrades also drive the sales of the DLC they are an upgrade to. It is rare that I buy a song other than one that has an upgrade, but I've bought every song that does have one. I'd be happy with lower quality upgrades if it meant we got more of them. I don't care if it matches the exact fingering the player used, if the notes match up that's fine. But given the likely imminent demise of new DLC I'll quote Rick Springfield and say "the point is probably moot."
Bragging in your sig
Is like a retirement home
Noone gives a crap
Wii FC 1141 1695 0223 2168
Very happy to hear this! Looking forward to it!
Loving Rock Band 3.
Gamertag: AdamBomb629
HMX prog by year:
2007: 2
2008: 18
2009: 4
2010: 4
2011: 16
About a page after I made that first statement. And right after the Alive quote you used.Yes, I remember that now. And Paul McCartney live version of Band on the Run. But it is not something I would hold out expecting with Dream On. I just don't think the master is available. (And I think Jimi had a song or two with live and studio? But it is not very common)
The poster formerly known as Riffrockrat! - XBGT: Grunge Rat
Still GM:Royal Allied Tongas:EQ2AB - Marto/Xavrik
Still rocking riffs since 2011
HOLY SHIZZ!!! This is just fantastic! OMG!! xD!!!
Hi. <3


text:
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SOURCE History Colorado
PUEBLO, Colo., Sept. 18, 2013 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- A new exhibit opening on Friday, Sept. 20 at History Colorado's El Pueblo History Museum examines the 1914 Ludlow Massacre, an event that sparked a national outcry, through the lens of the children who witnessed it. Developed for families with children ages 10 and over, Children of Ludlow: Life in a Battle Zone, 1913-1914 presents artifacts, photographs, oral histories and multimedia to highlight the perspectives and repercussions experienced by some of the 9,300-plus children of coal miners who were on strike in southern Colorado.
(Photo: http://photos.prnewswire.com/prnh/20130918/DC81774 )
The exhibit includes a model tent city and features stories from local descendents who share their personal connections to Ludlow and the Colorado Coalfield War. A fictional video character, Elena, the 10-year-old daughter of a Mexican coal miner, guides visitors through the exhibit.
Starting in September 1913, striking coal miners, their wives and children, were expelled from their company-owned homes and forced to live in tent colonies on southern Colorado's open prairie. On April 20, 1914, tensions between miners and militia erupted in violence in the Ludlow tent colony, leaving the colony destroyed and 11 children dead among the more-than 20 who were killed. In 2008, the U.S. Department of the Interior designated the Ludlow site a National Historic Landmark.
The exhibit kicks-off the state's centennial commemoration of the Colorado Coalfield War and Ludlow Massacre. Diverse groups of citizens have developed a variety of programs and events that will be offered over the next 15 months in communities across the state. Visit www.ludlow100.com for more information.
Children of Ludlow is presented by Black Hills Energy. The exhibit will open during Pueblo's Chile and Frijoles Festival and museum admission will be free to festival goers. Additional information about El Pueblo History Museum's pricing, hours and special programs is available at ElPuebloHistoryMuseum.org.
About History Colorado
History Colorado connects people to the stories, places and heritage of Colorado's past that provide perspectives about today to inspire their choices for tomorrow. Find out more about History Colorado, a Smithsonian Affiliate, on Facebook, twitter (@HistoryColorado), our website, HistoryColorado.org, or call 303-HISTORY.
Media Contacts:
Dawn DiPrince
Associate Director, El Pueblo History Museum
Co-Chair, Ludlow Centennial Commemoration Commission
firstname.lastname@example.com, 719/583-0453
Rebecca Laurie
Public Relations Director, History Colorado
email@example.com, 303/866-3670
©2012 PR Newswire. All Rights Reserved.


text:
- Details
More Details - Girl x Diamond black tee shirt.
- Girl Skateboards x Diamond Supply Co. collaboration.
- Custom Girl x Diamond graphic at the front.
- Front graphic in mint and white.
- "Girl Skateboards" script in white.
- "Diamond Supply Co." script in white and mint.
- Short sleeves, crew neck, standard fit tee.
- 100% Cotton.
- Made in the USA.
- Reviews
- Tag It


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1955 Chevrolet Bel Air sedan. Car has a 327, Borg Warner Super T-10 4 speed. More information to come, new acquisition.... More
1971 Chevrolet Camaro RS/SS Pro-Touring VIN: 124871N554999, 454ci Red with Black Interior The 1971 Camaro was a continuation of the 1970 model that started production on January... More
1969 Chevrolet Camaro Yenko Tribune VIN: 124379N548983 Hugger Orange with Black Interior The 1969 Chevrolet Camaro was changed to look more aggressive. The heavily restyled body looked... More
1965 Pontiac GTO 389/360hp, 4-Speed VIN: 237375K114095 Montero Red with Parchment Interior The GTO was the brainchild of Pontiac engineer Russell Gee, an engine specialist; Bill Collins,... More
1968 Chevrolet Camaro L30 327/275hp VIN: 124378L327081, Engine Number: 18L327081 T0108EA LeMans Blue with Blue Interior The 1968 Camaro looked very similar to the 1967 externally. Small... More
1965 Corvette, 396/425 HP coupe. This Corvette has been treated to a complete nut anbd bolt frame off restoration. Please visit www.long eachcustoms for... More
1969 Camaro Z/28. This is a numbers matching, highly detailed Z/28 with original miles. The car is very original with one repaint. More information... More
1966 Nova Super Sport L-79 327/ 350 HP. This little Nova Super Sport is a rare find. The L-79 option was the 327 350... More
1965 Chevrolet Corvette Sting Ray 327/365hp L76 Convertible VIN: 194675S121795, Engine no. 5121795 F0527H Nassau Blue code FF with Bright Blue Interior code 414B Introduced for the... More
1972 DeTomaso Pantera Lee Iacocca and Alejandro DeTomaso reached and agreement on September 9, 1969 to give Ford Motor Company exclusive rights to import and... More
2001 Dodge Viper GTS 450HP 8.0L V10 - 6 Speed - Leather - Alpine - Dual Race Stripes - 16K Miles 2001 Dodge Viper GTS Coupe,... More


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Aloha Lodge
Aloha Lodge, Bed & Surf Cape Town! Meet Gerhard, the german Rasta in his relaxed and cool place! He makes you feel home and he likes to share his stories about Africa, the continent he is so much in love with!
Availability & Rates
To view availability and prices please select dates and click 'Update Dates'Hostel Facilities & Policies
- Airport transfers
- Bar
- Cable TV
- Common Room
- Free Internet Access
- Free Parking
- Free Wifi
- Games Room
- Kitchen
- Linen Included
- Outdoor Swimming Pool
- Outdoor Terrace
- Parking
- Pool Table
- Reading Light
- Swimming Pool
- Towels For Hire
- Washing Machine
Cancellation Policy
This property has a 1 day cancellation policy. Failure to cancel within this time will result in a cancellation charge equal to the first night of your stay.DirectionsShow MapHide Map
From N2 towards city until turn-off (N2-M5) North Milnerton.
Follow the M5 into Milnerton and drive on Koeberg Road for approx. 5km. After the intersection with Boundary Road turn into the first street on your left (Algoa Road). Aloha Lodge is the 3rd house on your right with a big black spiderweb gate.


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Posted by Tamara Shayne Kagel
The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has just affirmed a lower federal court decision that determined that Prop 8, which bans gay marriage, is unconstitutional. While this is a great step toward creating marriage equality for all, it also makes me a little nervous. There is only one place this case can go now….the Supreme Court. And a decision there is going to be huge. It could be a few years before the Supreme Court actually hears the case as appeals take a while and it's possible that the make-up of the court will change by then, but unfortunately I don't see Thomas or Scalia retiring quickly enough to allow the composition of the court to change in time for this case. The Supreme Court could chose to not hear the case, which means the decision today will stand for the 9th Circuit, but it's also unlikely given the current political climate.
This case was only decided 2-1 and I took a peak atthe dissenting judge's opinion. It foreshadows the arguments that will likely be made at the Supreme Court if it gets there and they are better than I expected. The decision focuses on the fact that a state should be allowed to define marriage however it wants and he offers a lot of precedent to support this. The majority concedes this fact but argues that no state can define marriage in a way that violates a person's constitutional rights as defined by the 14th Amendment. A decision at the Supreme Court will likely also be a 5-4 decision with Kennedy now the only hope of a swing vote. It's hard to believe that so many millions of American lives will be touched by the words of one man, but as of now, that's probably what it's going to come down to. Unfortunately, there's nothing to do now but wait. And of course pray for early retirement. In the meantime, we celebrate.
Tamara Shayne Kagel is a writer living in Santa Monica, CA. To find out more about her, visit www.tamarashaynekagel.com and follow her on twitter @tamaraskagel. © Copyright 2011.
4.26.13 at 10:07 am | It's been a few months since I've moved in with. . .
4.15.13 at 9:18 am | My timeline got married, knocked up, and moved to. . .
4.2.13 at 11:33 am | Much of the discussion surrounding Sheryl. . .
9.13.12 at 8:10 am | I signed a new lease on a house last night with. . .
9.9.12 at 8:28 pm | Yes, our little blog on the Jewish Journal made. . .
8.17.12 at 9:30 am | Women are constantly flinging those heels off for. . .
9.16.11 at 11:01 am | Last weekend, I stayed at my boyfriend's. . . (91)
2.27.12 at 4:35 pm | Internet porn has entered your bedroom. (48)
3.15.12 at 10:08 am | At some point during your dating career, you will. . . (32)
February 3, 2012 | 1:45 pm
Posted by Tamara Shayne Kagel
Lana Del Ray's stereotypical, codependent, frivolous girlishness is a regression for feminism according to a new article in the Atlantic. Definitely worth a read. Spencer Kornhaber's contention is that for Lana "in every instance, her stated belief is that without being beautiful, she's nothing. And what's really uncomfortable is that she can't seem to conceive of the world in any other way." As a lover of all things romantic, I am too sucked in by her idealistic devotion to her man. But Kornhaber rightfully points to the fact that Lana may have crossed over from romance to unhealthy obsession. "We all know people in unbalanced relationships, where one party's more enamored than the other, but Del Rey sells this problem as not a problem at all—and as inevitably tied to gender." Is she redefining being pathetic as the new girly?
February 1, 2012 | 3:40 pm
Posted by Tamara Shayne Kagel
I found out through the grapevine, that a boyfriend of a friend of mine recently cheated on my friend (with a hooker in Las Vegas nonetheless!). After much deliberation, I've finally decided I am not going to tell her….
I feel a bit traitorous about it all and I'm left wondering is there some sort of girl code that should compel me to reveal what I've heard to her, just because she's a woman and I am too? Do I owe all other women this unspoken camaraderie because we all have to deal with men who can sometimes be jerks? We've all heard the refrain "bros before hos" but girls don't go around saying "shrews before dudes." The closest comparison to a girl code I can come up with is I once ran into a friend's mother, a three-time divorcé, on a date. After learning I had broken up with my boyfriend, she quickly encouraged me to get back in touch with her daughter saying "don't worry, girlfriends are like cockroaches. They were there before the men, they'll be there after them." At the time, I thought this was the most ridiculous and depressing statement I'd ever heard, but now a few boyfriends later, it's been somewhat true for me. As much as I love my current boyfriend, I have girlfriends that date back to nursery school and it's pretty much a sure bet that we'll be in touch till we're all in nursing homes. I hope and believe I will get married and stay married forever, but divorce is a scary threat for anyone contemplating marriage these days. In contrast, I know I'll never divorce my girlfriends. And yet, I've never taken any vows to them. I've never clearly delineated a promise to be faithful or forgiving or to sacrifice for them. So what do we owe each other? Does it extend beyond just our friends to all women and does it require passing on hearsay about cheating boyfriends?
Years ago, I was cheated on and when my ex told me about it, one of the very first thoughts that ran through my head was how could another woman do this to me. There was a picture of us that sat prominently on his dresser; it had been a birthday gift the year before. I asked him if he turned down the picture when she was in his room and he said no. To me, this meant the girl knew he was in a relationship and she screwed him anyway. How could some girl, another woman I could have been chatting up at a bar the night before, how could she know that this guy was cheating and go through with it anyway? How could one woman be cruel enough and selfish enough to do that to another woman? But just because I understand how hard and difficult it is when your boyfriend cheats, does that mean that it is my responsibility to protect all women by exposing all the cheating men I come across? If I am not friends with the couple at all, do I still have to track down the betrayed woman and introduce myself over Facebook to then spill the dirty details?
It was painful for me to realize that even if there should be a girl code, there are so many women out there who don't follow it. So many women willingly sleep with married men, and others who will stab another girl in the back, and other women who take pleasure in another girl's failure. So even if we do tacitly owe one another some moral behavior, our gender is violating the code so often, nobody seems to be following it.
So if there isn't a girl code, shouldn't there at least be a friend code? I try to be a good and loyal friend and in return, my life has been enriched by a coterie of incredible women who have added so much to my life. I want to do what is best for my friend. But is it best for my friend that I pass on an unsubstantiated rumor to her when she is desperately in love with a man who has continually been in my opinion a bad boyfriend? On the one hand, she's put up with such poor behavior in the past, I'm inclined to think she'll just make excuses for him again and believe whatever lie he tells and continue fooling herself into thinking she's in a healthy relationship. On the other hand, this could be the final piece of information she needs to finally break-up with him. I'm also biased because I've thought for years that she should break up with him so maybe I'm giving this rumor more credence than it deserves - it was passed on from a guy who was drunk at a bar with the boyfriend in Vegas to a girlfriend to a friend to me and nobody really knows what happened once the two went upstairs. I'm also reluctant to put myself in the middle of all the drama – having to figure out how to tell her where I heard the rumor without giving up my source and then possibly being responsible for her heartbreak.
The most unsettling thing for me is even if it's best for her that I don't say anything, by doing nothing, am I just letting another guy get away with blatant cheating? Have we accepted this behavior to the point that that even if people observe the behavior in public, no one will tell because infidelity is tolerated? Have I become complicit myself in allowing something that I believe is morally wrong?
I keep playing the game where I ask myself, if I were in her place, wouldn't I want to know? And the answer is yes, but it's also more complicated than that, because I would never be in her place – I would have broken up with this creep a long time ago for things that she knows about and has excused, so how can I really judge how important this piece of information is?
And the truth is, there is so much we don't tell people. Who am I to be acting as moral police? What if I see a friend's boyfriend just flirting inappropriately? Do I then have to rat him out to his girlfriend also? I'm tempted to say yes as women we all owe each other the decency of collectively not tolerating cheating – but there will always be women who break this girl code. Cheating men have found women to cheat with for thousands of years. And yet, why did I feel so violated by the "other woman" when it happened to me? Why did I obsessively want to know who she was, what she looked like, what she wore, and what position she had sex in, if I knew all along that there were girls willing to do this to one another?
Dejectedly, I have to accept that for some women, there is no girl code. They see a girl at a bar with her boyfriend and they think the guy is fair game. But I can't live like that. You don't make and keep lifelong friends by thinking you don't owe other women something. At the very least, there has to be a friend code. We have to understand, that by being close friends with another girl, we owe each other acting in their best interest. To me, being close friends with another girl means that even if we never say anything, we imply certain promises to each other: I promise to not go after a guy I know you like, promise to drop whatever I am doing and be there for you when you are heartbroken, promise to make fun of anyone who is making your life miserable, promise to not be in a private place alone with your boyfriend ever. I promise to keep your secrets and I promise to tell you mine. And when in doubt, I promise to do what's best for you.
Although in most cases, what's best for my friend would probably be to tell her about the rumor, in this case I have to accept, it is not. My friend has dealt with cheating rumors with this boy before and chosen to ignore them. He's acted incredibly selfishly and she's found ways to explain it away. She needs him in her life right now as she deals with a difficult time. And maybe it's not the healthiest thing, but it's also not my decision to make. She's the only one that can drag herself out of this relationship and she can only do it when she's ready. She's not ready and so I will put away my own agenda and be there for her while she struggles. And when she is finally ready to deal with his behavior, I will be there for her during the heartbreak too. Because as one friend to another, I owe her that.
January 24, 2012 | 1:13 am
Posted by Tamara Shayne Kagel
So for all you loyal readers who read my woeful post on Friday night, I feel I owe you a follow-up to what was really the first noteworthy hiccup in my relationship. It wasn't really a fight, in that we weren't arguing about something. But we both had done things to hurt one another and of course, sometimes that's worse.
Saturday morning I woke up early and went to yoga after reading a comment from a guy who said if he was my boyfriend, he'd kill himself. When I got back home, my boyfriend alive and well, called and asked to get lunch. He came over and patiently waited while I finished getting ready. He asked to talk first and I sat on the couch next to him, waiting to find out his thoughts.
He explained in a few short sentences what he thought the problem was. He was clear, concise, and right. Apparently, I'm dating an adult. I felt terrible. He reminded me of something I had said (twice) and when he said it out loud, I was revolted by my own abhorrent language. I sounded like a self-righteous bitch and I had hurt someone I loved. I had essentially threatened to break-up with him if he didn't do something I wanted. Even if you have a point, if you don't communicate fairly, you can quickly become the wrongdoer yourself and in this case, I was more the bad guy than he was.
He was being so mature, I was mainly embarrassed at my own behavior at this point. I had something I wanted to say, but I felt tears advancing every time I tried to say it. He said we should get something to eat and I was hoping that the change of location would allow me to compose myself.
After we ordered, I forced myself to speak. I made it through two points with a dry face, but by the third, streams of mascara had formed telltale lines down my cheek. Only a few people noticed, but it was enough to make me give up talking till we got home. I finally got everything I wanted to say out. We both agreed to work on our recently uncovered tools for inflicting hurt on the other, and though he didn't use the words, he seemed to forgive me.
We spent the rest of the day doing nothing together. We lay next to each other and talked and made each other laugh till our sides hurt and built a fort and spoke with accents and listened to NPR's election coverage. I told him if he did ever kill himself now, I would blame myself. We saw friends later that night and again on Sunday and things felt surprisingly normal and good.
It seems we've made it through the darkness. I hope we've emerged stronger. A friend of mine said that going through something like this is really good for us because if we make it out alright, we can be confident that when confronting life's inevitable bumps, we know we can handle it.
Sunday night, he called and just before hanging up he said I had a good weekend. We had had the most painful conversation of our relationship so far a day earlier, but since then we had also had a surprising amount of fun. I told him I did too. And so for now, we march on…
Tamara Shayne Kagel is a writer living in Santa Monica, CA. To find out more about her, visit www.tamarashaynekagel.com and follow her on twitter @tamaraskagel. © Copyright 2011.
January 21, 2012 | 2:03 am
Posted by Tamara Shayne Kagel
My boyfriend and I had a fight tonight. Not a terrible one but bad enough that I'm back at my apartment alone and intermittently crying. I'm not entirely sure what happened or why but we were sort of off all night. Then, things were said and now looking back, perhaps I was cruel.
It happens swiftly and softly without anger or even very many words but within a few sentences feelings are hurt. We are watching tv and I try to fix everything by taking his hand, but he pulls it away. I try again and again I fail. Our bodies are still touching on the couch, but I feel as alone as if I were sitting in the middle of the Arctic without another person in sight. He says he is tired. I know what this means so I oblige him and say I'm going to head home now. I can't look at him on the way out. I am hoping he will grab me and kiss me or just do something. But he doesn't. He closes the door behind me.
I get halfway down the hall and then crouch down on the floor outside his door and silently cry, heaving softly. I can't decide what to do. I don't want to leave. It all seems so stupid. What are we even fighting over? I just want to go back in and snuggle up to him and sleep next to the man I love.
His neighbor comes out to walk his dog. I shoot up, with my overnight bag hanging off of my shoulder. Are you ok, he asks, confused.
I smile like an idiot and try to brush past him. Yeah, I'm fine. I notice a pack of cigarettes in his hand. Cigarettes. Is that what we were fighting about?
Are you sure you're welcome here? Yes, I'm welcome here, I think. My boyfriend lives here, you jerk. He continues down the stairs but now I am trapped. I am too embarrassed to leave and walk past this guy and his dog, like I've been thrown out, so I march back to my boyfriend's door.
I stand there for a while, trying to build back up my courage. I am cold, and tired, and my bags are hurting my shoulder. I can hear the tv playing the end of the show I had been in there watching not so long ago. I want back in.
I knock on the door. Why am I nervous, I'm thinking.
He opens the door. He looks confused. I recall there are still tears on my face.
I don't want to leave, I say. I look up at him pleading, hoping he thinks I look sweet instead of pathetic which is what I'm feeling.
He opens his mouth to say something, but barely a sound escapes and he closes it. He looks down.
I'm stunned. He looks back at me and his look says everything. He wants me to leave. He doesn't want to let me in to the apartment I've had keys to for months. I thought he'd be relieved to see me, but he's not. He wishes I hadn't come back.
Forget it, I can't even finishing saying it, before the tears start falling. How dare he, I think to myself. I brush my hair aside, mainly to hide my face from him as I turn to leave. He's sending me out into the cold late night, with my bags, on the long walk back to my car alone.
I walk as fast as I can in my stupid little tight dress and black boots that feel ridiculous now. He hasn't closed the door this time. He's waiting for me to leave the building. I guess his neighbor was right, I'm not welcome here. The gate closes behind me.
I know I could let myself cry this whole walk back to my car, but I grit my teeth instead. I will not let a boy make me cry. I will not give him this much power over me. I am too strong to cry over this. Over what? I ignore the embarrassment I feel as I pass people on the busy street, hoping they'll think I'm walking to my boyfriend's apartment instead of being kicked out by him. I fantasize he'll drive up beside me and demand that we fix this. But I know there's no way in hell, this is happening. He's tired and probably just wants to go to bed and not think about me. He probably thinks this wasn't a big deal. It was me who wanted to leave, right? And I was making things weird in the first place. Why do I always do that? Am I determined to sabotage every relationship with a man I will ever have?
He has no idea how rejected I feel right now. I check my phone for a non-existent text. But I only do it once because I know him, and I know he won't text. What will tomorrow be like? Are we over? Or did nothing happen? Will he call in the morning to discuss our evening plans and think that nothing worth mentioning transpired? When do I get to a place in my life, where boys don't make me feel like this? Do I ever?
Drastic thoughts of what I could do tonight creep into my head. But I won't. I'm not angry enough with him to want to do anything except fix us. God, exactly a week ago one night, I thought things were perfect. He used the word soulmate for the first time and I was swooning even though I know he doesn't load the word with all the meaning I do. He was so tired before I left. Oh my baby, I feel so bad for him when I see how exhausted he gets from work. I want to sleep too but I know I won't.
No matter what happens to me in life, no matter my accomplishments, no matter where in the world I am, or how much things have changed, it seems this ugly constant remains. I am sitting here in front of my computer feeling alone, crying about a boy, knowing I won't sleep. I wonder if I should give up on love. Not relationships necessarily – they seem to come easily to me. But this idealistic schoolgirl dream of true love I just can't seem to let go of. Why do I need to believe this so badly? I just really want to believe that there's someone out there for me. And I really started to believe it was him. And so why am I home alone without him?
Tamara Shayne Kagel is a writer living in Santa Monica, CA. To find out more about her, visit www.tamarashaynekagel.com and follow her on twitter @tamaraskagel. © Copyright 2011.
January 20, 2012 | 11:27 am
Posted by Tamara Shayne Kagel
Being late twenties, means that bachelorette parties are a regular part of your social calendar. The problem is, most bachelorette parties SUCK. And not just a little. They're often boring, uninspired, unoriginal, expensive, lame and there's nothing do to but drink and regret it later. In fact, if one more girl asks me to throw down a thousand dollars to go to Vegas to see a steroid-filled not-cute not-my-type man wearing lime green, while trying to get drunk off of weak thirty dollar drinks, so that she can wear an over-priced plastic tiara for one night, I'm going to lose it. So last year, when one of my best friends in the whole world got married, the tradition of bachelorette planning fell to me and I was determined not to fall prey to these all-to-familiar doomed scenarios.January 12, 2012 | 8:00 am
Posted by Tamara Shayne Kagel
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend let slip that he was titillated by another woman. Well, almost. It might not have been as bad at it could have been, but it was there.
There was this really sexy ad running on FX for their new show American Horror Story which I've been watching but really not enjoying. Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia which we love pretty religiously together and every time they run the ad for American Horror Story, he makes a comment about how much he'd like to see me in a certain skivvies-showing French maid outfit worn very well by the sultry red-haired actress on the show. This actress is seriously hot and the way they have her tarted up to play to this archetypal male fantasy is spot on so I couldn't agree more that she gives off this irresistibly sexy aura. So the last few weeks he's reiterated how hot her little get-up is and how he'd love to see me in something like that. Which of course is as genteel as you can be when talking to your girlfriend about how sexy another girl is.
So there we are again, cuddling on his couch watching the It's Always Sunny gang trying to get to Thunder Gun Express when of course the Horror Story ad comes on. This time, though he says "Damn, I want to &^$&..." Pause. "...you so badly in that outfit."
I knew exactly what had happened and I couldn't help but call him on it.
"That is not what you were going to say!"
Of course he played totally aghast. "What do you mean?"
"You were going to say 'I want to #$%^ her,' not me in her clothes."
"That is SO NOT…ok fine that's true." I could feel his embarrassment as he confessed and sheepishly squeezed me tightly.
"I'm not mad at you for being potentially aroused by another woman but I think the generally accepted conventional wisdom on this is that girlfriends don't like to hear about all the other women their boyfriends would like to *^%#."
He laughed nervously and covered my face in little kisses realizing the fine line he was walking and the disaster he had almost stepped in.
But this brings up a truth in relationships, we don't often explore. Do we expect our significant others to literally never be turned on by anyone but us? And if we accept that this is not physiologically possible, how much do we want to hear about it?
When it comes to love, I'm an idealist. But when it comes to sex, I'm a realist. And realistically speaking, I think if you want to be in a committed long-term relationship you have to accept that at some point in your partner's long life, he is going to be turned on by something that is not you. Some girls really can't handle this. My boyfriend's fear that I might potentially be mad at him for being turned on by another girl is well founded. I know a lot of women who would be angry to find out their partner looked at porn or that they thought about anything aside from her while engaging in self-gratifying coital behavior. But biologically speaking, it seems to me, this is not a realistic view. We can and should all be held responsible for our actions on these urges, but our most base stirrings are surely not something we should judge one another on. Right?
Of course, knowing this and living it are two different things entirely. In the abstract, I have no issue with the idea that my partner might be sexually aroused by someone other than me. But do I really want to watch that happen? Of course not. When I'm with him, I want to feel like I'm the only woman in the world he could ever desire for the rest of his life. And generally, my boyfriend does a good job of making me feel like that. So then, am I saying he just has to hide it from me in a see no evil, speak no evil paradigm? That idea feels so outmoded to me. Aren't I more liberated than that?
I want to be a more enlightened modern woman. I'd like to acknowledge the truth that in long-term relationships, both parties are going to be aroused by outside stimuli and accept that having such thoughts is part of being human and has no bearing on our relationship. But at the same time, watching my boyfriend respond to a hot woman who is not me, is not enjoyable. So what is he supposed to do? Put on this charade where in front of me he pretends nothing else in the world aside from me is arousing?
I certainly don't want to listen to him confess to me any sexual fantasy he has about another girl in particular. But at the same time, if that is wrong, aren't I also guilty of my own "thought indiscretions" at certain occasions?
Shouldn't it be enough that my partner is faithful to me in actions? He has control over choosing not to have a one-night stand but if he can't control his own sexual thoughts, why should it taint his virtue if he admits to titillation from others? We generally don't punish people for thoughts. You may have wanted to murder someone, but as long as you didn't, we really don't think just having those thoughts are that bad. So if my boyfriend told me one day that he was so angry with someone that he momentarily thought about killing them, well it wouldn't be his best side, but I also wouldn't think too much of it. In fact, I'd hardly think about it. So why is it then, that I'm obsessing about this moment my boyfriend let slip that he had a sex-thought about someone else?
Women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to our man's sexual thoughts. I want to blame fairy tales and Disney but really, I think the problem is we don't talk about it realistically enough. People often say that that when Prince Charming finds Cinderella and they live happily ever after, we indoctrinate a desire for perfect unions that don't exist. But in terms of the fundamentals, I still want the fairytale – the fairytale for me is someone who's going to love me and be faithful to me forever and no I don't think that's too much to ask. Probably a lot of girls still want the fairytale and I believe they can still find it. The issue is, you technically can still abide by the rules of that fairytale, even if Prince Charming sometimes fantasizes about Snow White and Sleeping Beauty getting it on together. It's time to stop pretending that loves means pure thoughts at all times. If he still loves you and is faithful to you, that needs to be enough. He shouldn't feel like he has to hide his sexual desires because I'm holding onto some unrealistic expectation that men only want one woman till they die.
Women need to get used to the fact that great guys who are madly in love with them and completely faithful are going to be excited by other women. Ok, I need to get used to that fact.
And so, was I wrong to tease my boyfriend for making his comment? I just don't understand why if cognitively I truly am ok with him thinking these things, why do I so not want to hear them? Do I prefer delusion? And isn't that a sign of a psychopath…
I really have no idea what the answer is. I am not going to tell him to keep these thoughts from me, but I'm also not going to pretend communication is a panacea and encourage him to tell me all about them. guess I'm just not enlightened enough to listen to it. Maybe I am choosing to live in a pretend world, where I am the only bright and shiny object in his eyes. Or maybe hope against hope, the truth is that I do really shine a little bit brighter in his eyes than all others. Maybe only having eyes for me really means that in a sea of shiny objects, he sees all of them, but there's only one he picks up to play with. And maybe that still means, I can have my fairytale after all.
Tamara Shayne Kagel is a writer living in Santa Monica, CA. To find out more about her, visit www.tamarashaynekagel.com and follow her on twitter @tamaraskagel. © Copyright 2011.
January 11, 2012 | 1:12 pm
Posted by Tamara Shayne Kagel
A friend of mine sent me a press release about a new tv show airing tonight on USA at 11pm. The show, "Out Of Character With Krista Smith" features interviews with Gwyneth Paltrow, Seth MacFarlane, and Jason Wu and while normally I can't stand these vapid celeb puff piece interviews, Krista is actually a great interviewer so I'm looking forward to it. I've been watching her for a while because of her day job as Vanity Fair's West Coast Editor, since VF often posts her interviews to their website to supplement the great articles she writes. VF is one of my favorite mags and seeing as years ago for about five minutes I technically worked there and got to meet Krista, I'm rather excited about it all. Check it out tonight!
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Adidas - named after German founder Adi Dassler in the 1940s - has been part of the world of sports on every level ever since, delivering state-of-the-art sports shoes, apparel and accessories.
Today, the group is a global leader in the sportswear and sporting goods industry, and their products are available in virtually every country of the world.
Their strategy is as simple as their running shoes are legendary: to continuously strengthen and develop their products to improve your performance, whether you're a recreational sportsman, fitness-orientated or a professional athlete.
It all began with pedal power in the 1920s – and led to the formation of not one, but two legendary sportswear companies known throughout the world for their state of the art footwear and clothing.
Today, Adidas and their iconic three stripes are global leaders in the market, with a £10 billion turnover and a manufacturing interest in almost every type of sportswear imaginable.
A far cry from the days when Adolf 'Adi' Dassler began making his own sports shoes in his mother's kitchen, where electricity supplies were so unreliable he often relied on a stationary bicycle to generate enough power to run his machinery.
With the help of younger brother Rudolf, 200,000 pairs of sports shoes were soon sold every year, a phenomena which continued until they decided to go their separate ways. Each laid the foundations of a new company, both rising from the ashes of Gebrüder Dassler Schuhfabrik to become two of the most recognised brands in existence.
We know them today as Adidas and Puma.
The success of both brands can be traced back to the 1936 Olympics, when four-times gold medallist Jessie Owens sported primitive running spikes - which became the forerunners of legendary track shoes worn by athletes all over the world today.
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Meyer Lemon and Chantilly Cream Verrine
I sit here writing this post in disbelief that today reached 69 degrees, breaking the 65 degree temperature set in 1932. I've flung open every window in the house, gone for a walk and hung a few items out on the line to capture that fresh air scent we take for granted during the summer months here in New England. I feel slightly panicked that it's 3:15, the sun is setting and the temperature has precipitously dropped, especially since this might be our last breath of warm fresh air for the next 5 months. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for at least one day sans bulky coat, hat and gloves.
Maybe I've been struck with premature spring fever or maybe it's the slowly fading memory of a meal far too heavy on Thanksgiving day but I need a break from the orange and brown squash, cranberry and brown sugar laden desserts. It's not that they're not delicious but I'm yearning for something lighter, which is why I broke out the Meyer lemons for this feathery, creamy verrine.
Meyer Lemon and Chantilly Cream Verrine
Lemon Curd
2 large eggs
7 oz. cup sugar
4 oz. cup fresh meyer lemon juice
2 tbs. butter
save lemon rind for garnish
Whisk ingredients over bain marie until mixture thickens, stirring constantly, about 15 minutes. Strain and cool. Recipe inspiration by Bruce Weinstein.
Lemon Mousse
2 oz. pate a bombe
1 1/2 sheet of gelatin
3 oz. fresh lemon curd
2 drops lemon oil
1 cup heavy cream, soft peak
Mix the pate a bombe with the lemon puree until thoroughly blended. Soften the gelatin in ice water and then gently melt it in the microwave (maybe 5 seconds). Mix into the pate a bombe and whisk until it is well incorporated. Add a spoonful of whipped cream to the pate/lemon mixture and whisk to loosen up consistency. Fold in the whipped cream. Recipe adapted from Cannelle et Vanille.
Chantilly Cream
8 oz. heavy cream
2 tbs. sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
shaved white chocolate, set aside
Whip cream until soft peaks form. To make the verrine, use small dishes and layer mousse, then curd, then mousse, then whipped cream. Garnish with lemon rind and white chocolate.
By the way, we've decided to carry the "simplicity" concept into our holiday shopping this year. We're still buying presents for the children in our family but all of the adults have agreed to forgo the gifts and instead contribute recipes to a family cookbook that we'll use for our holiday meal. The goal is to make it a tradition and build the book year by year. This way, no matter where people are, they can always make the family recipes and feel close to home.
I don't know about you but I find it more meaningful when someone takes the time to make their own presents and this is why I've been thrilled to see some of my favorite blogs feature simple, hand-crafted gifts ideas. Granted, baked goods are always welcome and wonderful but here are a few more ideas from the heart instead of the credit card.
Check out:
Ash's great use of old glass jars on Butterfly Food
The pie's in a jar at Wide Open Spaces
This canvas tote bag from the Giver's Log
Decorative canned goods from Canning Across America
And, the wonderful host/hostess gifts at Madame Sucre
If you come across additional blogs featuring hand-crafted goodies for the holidays, please let me know. I'd love to hear about more.
Bon Appetit!
51 comments:
- Rambling Tart said...
These make me happy today :-) So cheerful and bright. I've been hankering for springy things too lately - so your post is a welcome delight. :-)
- December 3, 2009 at 4:34 PM
- Nuts & Berries said...
Such a sunny creation. It looks perfect!
- December 3, 2009 at 5:23 PM
- Danielle said...
What a lovely project - a family cookbook!! Far too few families do that these days and I'm sure yours will be a real gem to pass down through the generations :) I too am planning on making my own gifts - it will be macarons this year but I just need to get the formula and macaronage right...by Dec 25th! Will pass along any links on home-made gifts I come across.
- December 3, 2009 at 7:43 PM
- giao said...
so perfect and beautiful to match the day. having grown up in chicago winters, i can appreciate what a gift today's weather is for you. yay!
- December 3, 2009 at 7:53 PM
- Fresh Local and Best said...
I like your family cookbook project, it's a great concept for everyone to contribute and be proud of.
I used to have a meyer lemon tree in the bay area that was prolific, giving me at least 100 lemons throughout each year.
This dessert looks gorgeous! - December 3, 2009 at 9:44 PM
- Anna said...
I love the family cookbook idea. I hope to do something like that someday!
- December 3, 2009 at 10:10 PM
- Chocolate Shavings said...
I have so much trouble finding meyer lemons here, but they really make a difference in citrus-based desserts. Your verrine looks lovely!
- December 3, 2009 at 10:45 PM
This does look delicious. I love lemon.
- December 3, 2009 at 11:00 PM
- Kate said...
You might enjoy making a Shaker Lemon Pie with them, too. Beautiful photos!
www.artofthepie.com - December 3, 2009 at 11:02 PM
- Delish Dish said...
Loving the handmade gift idea this year. Love the pie link especially. I'll let you know if I find any more!! Great photos and yummy dessert!
- December 3, 2009 at 11:06 PM
- The Gypsy Chef said...
I too enjoyed the warm day. It didn't seem real! Your photos are beautiful and the verrine looks divine! I love the idea of a family cookbook. This year I have been making chocolates. Lots and Lots of tempered goodies. I am already sharing the bounty. Pam
- December 3, 2009 at 11:12 PM
I love your idea for the family cookbook. The links you provide have also inspired me to make some thoughtful gifts this year instead of going broke trying to outdo my relatives. I hate when the credit card bill comes due in January. Hopefully I'll have some cash left over to make this meyer lemon verrine. Heavenly pics!
- December 3, 2009 at 11:20 PM
- Karine said...
That looks fantastic!
Honestly, I have never seen in my life a meyer lemon :( I should check more carefully for them because I have heard they are fantastic.
We still have seen snow in Toronto this fall and I am so happy!!!! :) - December 4, 2009 at 7:46 AM
- Tricia said...
This looks fantastic, I am definitely going to give it a try! Good luck with your family cookbook project, can't wait to hear more! (and your photos are beautiful:)
- December 4, 2009 at 11:17 AM
Fun cookbook project. Maybe my family can steal your idea? My brother just lost his job and this would definitely take some pressure off his family. Amazing, amazing photos. Do you do photography for hire?
- December 4, 2009 at 12:15 PM
- Jess said...
Where do you find Meyer lemons? I recently made a lemon curd with Meyer lemons I kidnapped from the San Francisco farmers' market and stowed them in my carry-on to Massachusetts. Not exactly local, but hey...
- December 4, 2009 at 2:44 PM
- Sara said...
That looks great. I love all forms of lemon curd.
There's a great link on the blog food in jars to making your own vanilla bean syrup. I, like the blogger, found a great source online that is inexpensive and have leftover canning jars, I think it woudl be great for Christmas too! - December 4, 2009 at 2:49 PM
- wasabi prime said...
So unbelievably beautiful and fresh! Even on such a cold Northwest day, it brings a ray of warm sunshine to my afternoon -- thank you!!
- December 4, 2009 at 5:14 PM
I can't get enough of lemon desserts. This looks exceptionally good. Do I have to use Meyer Lemons or will regular lemons work?
- December 4, 2009 at 5:33 PM
- Mowie said...
Oh wow El! Those verrines look absolutely scrumptious! Gorgeous and lovely photos as always! I've always been a fan of handmade gifts, it makes them so much more special!
- December 4, 2009 at 6:16 PM
- El said...
Thanks for the wonderful comments everyone. Inspiring as always.
Kate, contact me via email and we can chat.
Chelsea - any lemons will work.
Karine and Jess - Meyer lemons are not exactly native to New England. Whole Foods and Costco get them in pretty regularly. - December 4, 2009 at 6:32 PM
- Mimi said...
I think it's the anticipation of spring that makes this dessert so lovely.
Wonderful idea on the cookbook. My dad's family made a cookbook seventeen years ago. When my cousins call asking for my mom's potato salad recipe, I tell them it's in the book!
Mimi - December 4, 2009 at 6:57 PM
- a tasteful garden said...
beautiful and completely enticing! a perfect post for yesterday's spring-like weather.
- December 4, 2009 at 7:48 PM
- Confessions of a Gourmand said...
I agree that the cookbook idea is excellent. We have relatives all over the place and it would be a great way to bring every one to the table without having to travel. You don't mind if I include this recipe, do you? We love lemon!
- December 4, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Your photography is beautiful and I love lemon. Can't wait to try this recipe out!!!
- December 4, 2009 at 11:31 PM
- Shwetha said...
What a beautiful idea for the holidays. I can't wait to see the wonderful things are going to be created at your kitchen. :)
- December 5, 2009 at 1:03 AM
- kellypea said...
I'm smiling because your reaction to an unseasonally warm day reminds me of what I feel like when it rains here at any time of the year. It rarely rains and I love rain. This lemon dessert is not only beautiful, and perfect for the weather you describe, but sounds fabulous. Wow.
- December 5, 2009 at 1:04 AM
- Megan Gordon said...
Oh I agree...I've got lemon bars as one of my next projects. And the mini gift guide is nice indeed. I've actually vowed not to step foot inside a mall this year. I'm sticking to it! Thanks for the lovely recipe.
- December 5, 2009 at 11:09 AM
I'm with Megan and will do everything I can to avoid the mall this year. Beautiful lemon dessert too!
- December 5, 2009 at 12:01 PM
- Barbara said...
A lovely dessert!
I did a family cookbook a couple years ago. It's pretty long and I used lots of family photos and stories. It was a big success! Good luck with your cookbook project. - December 5, 2009 at 1:23 PM
- sara said...
such gorgeous colors! makes me feel summery. oh and that chocolate tart? you are amazing!
- December 5, 2009 at 2:36 PM
- Ash said...
Oh My, I must say I love anything with lemon, especially desserts! And this one sure looks like a winner!!
ps. thanks for linking me! - December 5, 2009 at 4:27 PM
wonderful dessert and pictures. Very inspiring.
- December 5, 2009 at 8:07 PM
- Asha @ FSK said...
Breathtakingly elegant!!! and so light and airy like summer! :) i also like making light desserts during the cold months to make believe a warmer weather.. haha
- December 6, 2009 at 7:13 AM
- The Gypsy Chef said...
I love your blog and have Awarded you the Honest Scrap Award. You may already have it, but the beauty of your posts and photos have become an addiction for me, so there you go!
Pam - December 6, 2009 at 8:26 AM
I like the cookbook idea. It makes a lot of sense in this economic downturn. I also love your photos and recipes. I just stumbled across this blog and it's beautiful!
- December 6, 2009 at 11:18 AM
- Sophie said...
MMMMMMMMMM,....what a lovely & magnificent dessert this is!
MMMMMMMMM,..fabulous even! - December 7, 2009 at 3:38 AM
- Anushruti said...
The lemons look so gorgeous! Love the pictures.
- December 7, 2009 at 6:51 AM
Lovely and beautiful!
- December 7, 2009 at 7:45 AM
- Jess said...
Hi, El. It's so strange that just last week I was walking around outside in a light sweater, and now we've experienced our first dump of snow. But your lemony dessert is sunny enough to brighten up even this grey, wintry day.
Love the family cookbook thing, by the way. My family put one together for me when I was married a few years ago. I treasure it. - December 7, 2009 at 12:28 PM
- Rob said...
Very nice. I love lemons. I'll have to try this. Beautiful photographs, too!
- December 7, 2009 at 8:31 PM
ooh looks divine!
- December 7, 2009 at 10:57 PM
- David said...
Wow. Your blog is an incredible inspiration.
- December 7, 2009 at 11:04 PM
- lostpastremembered said...
Beautiful blog and great recipes! I just found you through Gypsy Chef. I look forward to visiting often!
- December 8, 2009 at 5:57 AM
- Amy J in SC said...
I look forward to making something summery like this after the Christmas season for a little boost amid the winter blahs.
That Christmas cookbook/recipe idea is fantastic! I may suggest that with out family. - December 8, 2009 at 9:22 AM
- Veronika Hortt said...
I was wondering how you made your pictures that size for you blog. What dimensions do you use and how do you manipulate it on HTML.
- December 9, 2009 at 12:41 PM
- El said...
Veronica- Just use flickr. It has the html built in.
- December 9, 2009 at 2:55 PM
- Lisa's Cocina said...
You make the dreamiest desserts! I just moved and am hoping to be able to have a meyer lemon tree growing sometime soon - I love anything lemon.
Thank you for the links to holiday homemade gifts - I have a few days of intense baking ahead of me. Luckily, I'm looking forward to it :-)
Also -- love love love the holiday cookbook idea!! - December 9, 2009 at 9:45 PM
- Kitchen Butterfly said...
Pretty tart. Love anything lemony...though I've never had the pleasure of tasting or seeing Meyers in the flesh. Closest I've come - Amalfi lemons!
- December 10, 2009 at 12:41 AM
- Jo said...
Love yellow and anything that is lemony. This looks so, so good and if only I can get my hands on some meyer lemons here. Sigh!
- December 10, 2009 at 7:59 AM
- Julia said...
There are so many great homemade gift ideas out there. I wish I had more time to make them all! That said, check out http://www.foodinjars.com/ , which is a great, resourceful site. My family and pals got granola and jelly this year!
- December 14, 2009 at 10:37 AM


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August 26, 2011
Cody Wynn TheOldCoach.com
TheOldCoach.com's Cody Wynn takes an Insider look around Class 3A in Region III. Check out his insider picks and insight.... ...More... To continue reading this article you must be a member. Sign Up Now for a FREE Trial
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Wrentham Outlets Trip
Start Date: November 2, 2013
End Date: November 2, 2013
Time: 10:00 am to 4:30 pm
Wrentham Outlets Trip
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Depart from Leicester campus at 10:00 a.m. (pick up in front of the Fuller Campus Center)
Depart from Worcester campus at 10:30 a.m. (pick up in front of the Boutin Student Center)
Departure from the Wrentham Outlets: 4:30 p.m.
Have some shopping to do? Register now for this Saturday day trip, and enjoy an afternoon of shopping and exploring at the Wrentham Outlets.
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Trip is full. Please look for our next Blackstone Valley outing!!!
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I tossed an email to her management. I'll let you know if anything comes of it.
It was also sampled in a Jason Derulo song, "Whatcha Say", which was a pretty big hit back in 2009.
On-topic: This got me thinking - I've seen quite a few European acts on the RBN or in the pipelines, so perhaps a little digging around in the archives of the Eurovision Song Contest might yield a few possibilities? We have Lordi, winners of the contest in 2006, as official DLC after all. I can hardly start linking to over 1500 songs here, though, and I believe quite a few of the artists are signed to major labels, but a little search on Wikipedia brought up City Records (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_Records ; www.cityrecords.co.rs - unfortunately, the link to the English website doesn't seem to work anymore), and there were some names on that list that looked very familiar to a Eurovision fan.
(In case you have no clue what I'm talking about, allow me (or Wikipedia) to elaborate.)
Guitar/Bass: Expert (with a very few exceptions)
Drums: Hard/Expert
Vocals: Hard
Most wanted DLC: "Luka", Suzanne Vega
this request is for my younger brother but he would love to get more Steam Powered Giraffe in rock band... he keeps bugging me to buy Electricity is in My Soul but I would much rather get a RB3 version of it... so much awesome keys and harmonies
More Ayreon!
"Fire has other worldly powers" -Lawdog1521
My next request is The Black Keys. Their first 3 albums (The Big Come Up, Thickfreakness, Rubber Factory) are all on independent labels. Their debut album, The Big Come Up is on Alive Records and the other 2 albums are on Fat Possum Records.
Any chances of this happening?
We've received a few songs about Giant Bomb, so how about any songs to do with Destructoid? One option is Born Depressed by Drill Queen, the theme song to the Jimquisition. Here's their contact page. They seem independent, but I couldn't fine any concrete information on that.
Otherwise, I'd like to request the Talking To Women About Videogames theme song by Jonathan Holmes. Couldn't find an email, but I'm sure he'll give you one if you ask him on Twitter.
Currently shooting for the top 10 total Pro Keys ranks on 360.
Warmen! Here's two of their songs
Salieri Strikes Back
War of the Worlds
Their songs would be very challenging and fun across all instruments, except for maybe vocals. Warmen has an insane keyboardist and would make a great addition to the RBN
I would kill for some Warmen.
That being said, They're on Spinefarm. I'm not exactly sure how Spinefarm works as a label.
We have bands like Amberian Dawn, Sonata Arctica, and Machinae Supremacy.
But then they have bands like Dragonforce, Nightwish, Children Of Bodom, and Rammstein who have only had official releases.
On a related note, I wonder how they got the UK rights for D'espairsRay and Mucc. I want more jRock. lol
[0] Tongiht Alive
[0] We Are The In Crowd
[0] Story Of The Year
[0] Attila
[1] Escape The Fate
[1] Atreyu


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User Review - Chris - GoodreadsLarkin's talent is very obvious here, but so is his youth. Clearly there was much he wanted to write about, and he crammed it all in. If the story had a little more shape, it might have been first ... Read full review
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Katie Corrado is a multimedia journalist and weekend anchor for CNY Central.
SYRACUSE -- Eight-year-old Pelensky Joassin is from Haiti, but has spent the last two months in Central New York receiving much-needed medical care.
Pelensky was run over by a truck in 2009, suffering from massive internal bleeding and a crushed pelvis. Haitian doctors were unable to provide the medical care Pelensky needed.
A program called Partners in Health brought Pelensky and his father to Upstate Golisano Children's Hospital for treatment. For the past two months, they have been living in Syracuse's Ronald McDonald House.
Now, with medical treatments complete, Pelensky and his dad are heading back to Haiti, and said goodbye to Pelensky's doctor on Saturday.
That doctor, Dr. Jonathan Riddler, a pediatric urologist at Upstate Golisano Children's Hospital, also believed he benefitted from treating Pelensky. "One of the great joys I get is treating kids, and to be able to use the techniques and expertise I've acquired to help someone is the gratification I seek every day," said Dr. Riddler.
Through a translator, Pelensky said he looks forward to going home and playing with his friends, living the healthy life of an eight-year-old boy.


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Elizabeth Brooks '12MLS is motivated by a passion for analysis and innovative problem solving. Her enthusiasm for organization drove her to pursue a Masters in Library Science at St. John's University. She says that the program "seemed like a natural fit for my strongest personality traits. Originally, I had wanted to be an archivist. The allure of working with rare materials intrigued me. It wasn't until my second semester that I discovered the world of Competitive Intelligence and Knowledge Management. To me, these areas are the most complex and awe inspiring. I feel like librarians can make the greatest impact on problems that society faces today by applying techniques found within these areas of research."
In the Spring of 2012, she interned as a Business Reference Librarian at Baruch College and lead the development of an adaptable recruiting plan as a Graduate Research Assistant with St. John's College of Liberal Arts & Sciences. As a GA, Elizabeth had the opportunity to design recruiting plans and activities; develop strategic priorities, articulate strategy, identify best recruiting practices, benchmarks and performance metrics to align with current policies and existing market research. This position gave her the ability to showcase what librarians can really do to other members of the University. "Unfortunately, there's still a strong stereotype about the typical librarian. As a recent graduate, I'm looking forward to capitalize on other opportunities to suppress the stereotype" she said. Elizabeth believes that these opportunities wouldn't have been possible without the support of her professors. "Getting an A is different than getting the most you can out of each course. The professors at St. John's are flexible and really allow you to take the curriculum as far as you want to go with it. Although they hold their students to the highest standards, they are always available with advice and support along the way."
Elizabeth is now the Client Services Supervisor for the Advanced Reference Services department at Infotrieve. The global company, which got its start in document delivery, has transformed information services and content management technology. They facilitate and manage corporate information centers, R&D facilities, legal business affairs and product professionals in more than half the Fortune 500 with a broad array of outsourcing services and software solutions. Elizabeth says "I'm really excited to be working for a company like Infotrieve. Not only do they value their employees and put significant resources into hiring quality people, but they understand the value that librarians specifically bring to the table. My position didn't exist before I was hired so I have the unique chance to develop and implement original solutions to their workflow and measurement challenges. It's an amazing opportunity!"
Elizabeth began her career in Media at a well known advertising agency. A New York native, she earned a BS in Business/Marketing and a BA in Psychology from the University at Albany in 2008. She didn't realize it at the time, but believes that every stepping stone has led her to a career as an information professional. "I truly believe that a MLS is one of the most applicable degrees you can obtain. The curriculum takes a holisitic approach instead of focusing on just one aspect or viewpoint (i.e. business). The program at St. John's opened my eyes to the endless possibilities for a librarian in today's job market. There is no simple answer to managing the abundance of information society has amassed. Although Google has made great advancements, the for-profit company is anything but the solution. We as librarians need to focus on abductive reasoning to question the questions that we've been asking for all these years. Technology has revolutionized the world as we know it. It's our job to revolutionize the way people think about, search for and access all the information that technology has put at our fingertips. "
For more information, please contact Rosann Kelly , Assistant Director Library and Information Science, by calling (718) 990-1457, or by e-mail firstname.lastname@example.com. Or visit our DLIS alumni site.


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The G-8 summit was meant to be Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's moment. Under his leadership, the land of the rising sun seemed ready to rise again, ready to breakout after twenty years of stagnation. The stock market rose nearly 40 percent in his first five months in office, businesses in Japan were talking about expansion for the first time in decades, and Tokyo's property market, long moribund, was stirring to life.
It is all part of Abe's bold break with the failed policies of the past. Past Japanese politicians had danced around the country's problems. Now here was someone to take them on. But a funny thing happened on the way to the coronation. Japan's stock market began falling sharply, businesses pulled back and serious observers wondered if this was one more false start in Tokyo.
So, what's going on?
In launching his term in office, Abe had announced that he would fire three arrows to revive the Japanese economy. The first was a more expansionist monetary policy -- buying tens of billions of dollars of Japanese bonds each month, to try to move from inflation to inflation...taking a cue from policies of the U.S. Federal Reserve under Ben Bernanke. The second arrow was fiscal expansion -- a $116 billion stimulus plan.
These two arrows were designed to shock the economy out of its stasis...and businesses and investors cheered. Then came the announcement of the third arrow -- and it turned out to be a rubber dart.
The government announced a series of tiny reforms and some attempts by government to boost certain industries. What was missing is what Japan desperately needs, namely real reforms that open up the economy and make it more friendly for business. Monetary and fiscal stimulus, you see, are great -- but the path to sustained growth is to get the economy to be more competitive and more productive.
For instance, The Economist magazine points out that unless a Japanese company is actually going out of business, it cannot fire any of its workers. Japanese economists have long argued that this makes firms highly unwilling to hire new workers or to raise anyone's wages.
The World Economic Forum's Global Competitiveness Index measures 144 countries on their flexibility of hiring and firing -- Japan comes in at a staggering 134! Japan has many storied corporations, but it needs reforms to make it easier to start new businesses. Among 31 high-income countries, Japan ranks 26th in the ease of starting a business in the World Bank's Doing Business report.
Japan also needs to open up its many protected industries to competition, which will create new energy and growth in these sectors. Japanese agriculture, for example, gets massive subsidies, by some measure three times those in the European Union and six times those in the United States.
Reforms are hard to do in democratic countries, as we've seen from Greece to Italy. But there's still hope. The Economist reports that insiders in Abe's party, the Liberal Democratic Party, say that they have been cautious because Japan faces an impending election for its upper house of parliament. Once that's done -- and the signs are the LDP will do well -- the prime minister will announce a new raft of reforms.
Shinzo Abe has the opportunity to go down as his country's Margaret Thatcher, a leader who administered tough medicine to the country and revived its economy and its spirits.
But to succeed at that task, he has to load up a powerful third arrow in his bow, aim carefully, and fire.


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binlagin wrote:Yeah, I'd defintly listen to what Zombiess has to say about this.
I ended up destorying a FET when running 60amp battery and 120 phase amps with a stock 18-FET Lyen controller. I'm seeing alot of people doing this with their un-modified smaller controllers... but it's only a mater of time until they go POOF!
I'm going to be preforming the mosfet tie together MOD that Zombies has documented on a rainy day in the coming weeks. I just have to decided if I'm going to switch to the Mica insulator. I also plan on adding some form of ventilation
hjns wrote:Anybody thought of oil cooling of a controller?
Lebowski wrote:Yes actually.
hjns wrote:Lebowski wrote:Yes actually.
Did you try it?
Lebowski wrote:No. But I would get a slid aluminium bar, dril a hole lengthwise for the oil to flow through and screw the FETs to this.
But 6 4110's at 80V and 70A battery (100A phase, about 10W of dissipation per FET) would give
you a 5.6 kW controller. You don't need a huge amount of FETs for this power level.
hjns wrote:I have been thinking about these IRFB 4228 MOSFETs:
almost the same specs as the 4115, but higher peak current capability (170A instead of 104A), similar resistance (12mOhm vs 11mOhm), and similar form factor (TO-220). Would these take more high current abuse?
ZOMGVTEK wrote:I did some destructive testing on IRFB4110PBF's and they take >120A for quite a while. I didn't have enough heat sink to run it for hours at 120A, but it will probably take it. I didn't have enough supply at the time to run past 145A or so, but I couldn't get the bond wires to melt. Obviously, being that this is a single FET, its going to share current quite well. Thats where the 1/3 loss factors in for more than one FET. I feel comfortable saying that IRFB4110PBF's can sustain the 100A or so I claim.
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Reversing the decision of the Board of Immigration Appeals, the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit recently granted a petition for review in the asylum case of Amadou Diallo and remanded the case for consideration anew.
The petition was pursued in the federal appellate court by the Law School's Refugee and Immigrant Rights Litigation Clinic, in partnership with Catholic Charities Immigration Legal Services. One of the Law School's nine partner clinics, the Refugee and Immigrant Rights Litigation Clinic is led by Adjunct Professors C. Mario Russell and Mark R. von Sternberg, both of Catholic Charities. Under the supervision of senior attorneys, Clinic students represent immigrants – mostly refugees and asylees –in proceedings at the administrative level and in the United States Court of Appeals for the Second and Third Circuits. Students also represent children in Department of Homeland Security custody who were victims of abuse or neglect in their home countries.
The Diallo case presented compelling facts. A native of Guinea and the son of a political activist, Amadou Diallo was 17 years old when government forces came to his family home, arrested him and then detained him for 10 days, all in an attempt to compel his father to turn himself in. Diallo then fled the country under threat of another detention. Arriving in the United States, he was detained for having defective entry documents. After removal proceedings were initiated against him, Diallo was released to a relative, who retained private counsel. Diallo's case eventually went to the Board of Immigration Appeals, where it was denied, in part, on the ground that Diallo's detention and persecution at the hands of Guinea government actors was not based on his political beliefs or social group. Catholic Charities took the case on at that point, filing a petition for review with the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit.
Assigned to the matter during the 2011-2012 academic year, Refugee and Immigrant Rights Clinic student Elizabeth Fitzgerald '13 submitted two legal briefs on the case. Through her submissions to the Second Circuit, Fitzgerald successfully proved that Diallo belonged to the social group of his "nuclear family," that the conduct of the government in Guinee was traditional cherchez-la-famille persecution and that the government had imputed a political opinion to him. With this victory, Diallo's asylum case will now go back to the Board of Immigration Appeals to issue a decision consistent with the Court's instruction.
"We are delighted with this decision by the Second Circuit Court of Appeals," said Professor Russell. "Elizabeth Fitzgerald took on the complex research and writing challenge without hesitation because she understood that the case involved core issues about how children asylum claims must be considered. This case shows the change that a legal clinic can effect in the life of an individual, the important role it plays in advancing a principle of international human rights and the emerging place it has in ensuring that adjudicators and judges consider facts carefully and apply the law fairly."
Reflecting on her clinic and court experience, Fitzgerald said: "I am so happy that I was able to make such a drastic difference in the client's life, and hopefully in the lives of others who will be able to rely on the Second Circuit's decision in the future. I put a lot of time and effort into researching and drafting the briefs, and I am so happy that my efforts paid off. I am extremely grateful that I was able to participate in the Refugee and Immigrant Rights Litigation Clinic, and I would recommend that every single St. John's law student participate in a clinic. It is an irreplaceable experience. This success is something that I will carry with me throughout my entire legal career."


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o00scorpion00o wrote:How do they compare to the Zippy's price and C rating ?
You are running 1P on 5ah ? that is bound to be hard on them ?
I miss the extra few mph that the 120% setting gave me, but That doesn't work without halls, so I might fix them up properly.
You really should program your controller, you will get a fair bit more torque from it! I would love to compare it to the crystalyte motors! The mac is an animal altogether, but it's going to be a while for cell-man to get back to me to advise me on what to do!
Here is my settings, do you know if you have the EB2xx or 3xx controller ?
snellemin wrote:
I copied almost all of your settings and Damn!! I pop wheelies now.
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This hotel is very nice and new. I was warmly greeted at front desk, As Priority Club member we were given welcome bags with bottled water and a snack. Warm fresh baked cookies were also at front desk. Room was very nice and bed very comfortable. Had a large selection for breakfast, and a manager stopped to ask us if... More
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Ted Klumb is a Commercial and Residential Real Estate agent with First Weber and CEO/Founder of TKOR, LLC property management (www.tedklumb.com). He lives and works in Menomonee Falls, is a graduate of UWM, and is married with two children. Ted is also a former member of the Menomonee Falls School Board, a faith development music teacher, and musician who's enthusiasm far exceeds his talent.
What Employers Need and Expect
While I am more than willing to hear about what educational pundits say the children of this country need to compete in the world market, I put far more weight on what employers tell me every day.
Math Programs Defined and Compared March 3rd
The Chair and Co-Chair of the Menomonee Falls School District Math Department will give a presentation to the public on March 3rd at 6:30. Save the date.
The highlight of the evening will be the contrast and comparison of the CMP and IMP Math programs offered in the district using actual test score data.
Citizens at Work-MFSD Finance Group
Many of you may not know it but a lot of your fellow citizens are involved in a group call the "Finance Study Group." The goal of the group is to identify andeliminate waste, as well as to make sure that as many dollars go toward the actual classroom education of all students in Menomonee Falls. Some of the functions have that have taken place: Survey to staff to identify cost savings. comparing our district to neighboring districts to compare cost and performance as well as many other productive items stated below in the agenda for the next meetng. Please attend, and join, if you have an interrest in this group.
Public Hearing on MFSD Reconfiguration
The public is invited to attend a brief presentation and provide feedback on potential changes to the school district.
Major Science Dignitary to Visit MFHS
The Science Department has landed James Gates from the University of Maryland, a big name in science. He will be speaking to our HS students on February 28th.
Invitation to "Math Wars":Peace Conference/Candidate Forum
If you have concerns about your child's Math program, which program your child should take, or what the heck are they teaching my kids now, please attend this Math presentation. Don't get your information from a web site promoting one method over another. Don't rely on a Yahoo group for information. Ask the professionals who are familiar with both methods, teach both methods, and measure the results. This presentation will help you guide your child, or you, to make the right decision in selecting Math programs and pathways through High School.


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- VOTE: What is Your Favorite Drink When It's Cold Outside?
- Looking for a Digitial Camera & Easy to Operate
- Gardening Corner: Check for Pests on Holiday Gift Plants
- Cooks' Corner: Prime Rib Roast


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Chris Larson, Crush Collision still, 2006
The Foundation accepts General Program and New York City Film and Video Program grant applications at any time. The Travel and Study and Minnesota Film and Video Programs have once a year deadlines for applications.
Latest Jerome News
October 24, 2013
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Upcoming Events
December 18, 2013, TBA
December 19, 2013, Danspace Project
January 13, 2014, Cedar Cultural Center
January 20, 2014, Cedar Cultural Center


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These clear glass lanterns are designed for carrying, hanging or placing on a table. The bell shape makes them very effective storm lanterns. It takes a hurricane to blow one out!Beautifully clear, so the light shines brightly.Made by a small fairtrade organisation near Delhi.2 sizes:Small (14x13cm), £7Large (24x20cm), £15
These lanterns are designed to stay alight even in very windy condtitions. Just what you need on a windy day, but it does mean that when you want to blow them out it can be tricky. If you keep huffing and puffing all that is likely to happen is that wax will splatter the glass.The best technique to extinguish the flame is to us tongs to smother the candle with a small damp cloth. This should keep the glass clean and your hands safe. When it comes to relighting the candle, a taper or long match is easiest.
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Estimated delivery 2 to 5 days
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Step 1- Select Program Year (Current default Program Year is 2013-2014)
Step 2- Login as Commission Staff, Program Director, Site Supervisor, Regional Coordinator or Americorps Member
If your user name or password fails, enter a valid email address in the box under "Forgot your password" and the system will send you instructions for resetting your password. The email address you enter must be the same email address currently on file in your OnCorps member record--if that has changed, your Program Director will need to update your email address for this feature to work correctly.
* All users should always update their email addresses when necessary using the PROFILE button, located at the upper right hand corner of all pages...
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How to fully utilize OnCorps Reports for PDs and Staff
Wed., Dec 11, 2013
Registration Link
Session will cover several "value added features of the software which are often overlooked, but offer a great benefit to users. These features include: creating a site map, resource/webpages, print/zip/and filter timesheets, etc.
Individual Beneficiary Tracking in OnCorps
Wed., Dec 18, 2013
Registration Link
Programs ranging from tutoring programs to those supporting access to Health Care have worked with us to design custom field reporting tools. Reports from these forms illustrate how programs are meeting their performance measure goals and objectives.
*All sessions times are Central Standard Time (CST). Once registered you will receive an email with information you need to join the Webinar.