text:
John W. James
Founder of The Grief Recovery Institute®
Co-Author of The Grief Recovery
Handbook & When Children Grieve
Where were you when I needed you?
The saddest question we ever hear is, "Where were you when I needed you?"
That's what people ask when they find out what we do in helping grievers. We're presenting helpful and accurate information on this site, at the time you need it most, with the hope that you'll never need to ask that question.
It's an honor and a sad privilege to be addressing you, knowing that each of you has recently experienced the death of someone important to you. We also know some of you are reading this because of your care and concern for someone who is confronted by the death of someone important in their life.
We bring our personal experience in dealing with the deaths of people who were important to us, and our professional know-how in helping grievers for more than 30 years. We'll help you distinguish between the "raw grief" that is your normal and natural reaction to the death, and the equally normal "unresolved grief" that relates to the unfinished emotions that are part of the physical ending of all relationships.
A basic reality for most grieving people is difficulty concentrating or focusing. With that in mind, we asked Tributes.com to print our articles in a large type font to make them easier to read. Sharing our concern for grieving people, they agreed.
From our hearts to yours,
Learn More About John & the Grief Recovery Institute »
Ask The Grief Experts
Please don't avoid grieving friends - grief isn't contagious! (Published 3/10/2015)Q:
Please help people understand that saying, "I know how you feel," is such a horrible statement. "No, you do not know how I feel." If you lost someone, your feelings are totally different than mine. Please, please stop walking to the other side of the street to avoid me. Grief isn't contagious! I know you mean well, but please, do not say, "I know how you feel."
A Grief Expert Replies:
Dear Anon,
Thanks for your note and question.
We agree with you 100% and we write and talk about that issue all the time.
I just took a quick glance at some of the other questions we've answered and immediately found two of our responses on the topic:
Here's one: "Also, even though you had a parent die not all that long ago, be careful not to say I know how you feel."
And another:, "Please avoid saying I know how you feel. Nothing robs dignity from a griever more than that comment."
We don't believe in comparing losses, nor do we believe in comparing incorrect comments about loss. But every time we make a public speech we tell the audience that of all the incorrect and unhelpful things you could say to a griever, "I know how you feel" is the absolute worst.
Yes, that does compare, so let us just say that even though people are trying to be helpful, we've never met anyone who reacted positively to being told, "I know how you feel."
We will continue to educate people not to say that line, no matter how well-intentioned they are..
Our reaction to your comment, "Please, please stop walking to the other side of the street to avoid me. It isn't contagious," is to tell you that what you perceive about people's actions is sadly true. An article we wrote many years ago is titled, "Am I Paranoid, or are People Avoiding me?"
We think you'll really appreciate it. Here's a link to it: http://tributes.com/grief_recovery_center/article/4
From our hearts to yours,
Russell and John
Ask The Grief Experts Archives
Dealing effectively with your grief helps you guide your children in theirs. (Published 12/27/16)
Inaccurate advice, though "well-meaning," can confuse or even hurt grieving people. (Published 12/20/16)
It's normal for dying people — and their caretakers — to get cranky from time to time. (Published 12/13/16)
Sad as it may be, you can't help someone who doesn't want help. (Published 12/06/16)
One of the benefits of grief recovery is remembering the person the way we knew them in life, not only as we knew them in death. (Published 11/29/16)
When going through a loved one's belongings, have a trusted friend with you. (Published 11/22/16)
If you'd known, you would have found a way to visit; nothing would have stopped you. (Published 11/15/16)
Forgiveness is for you, to give you freedom. It is not for the person(s) who hurt you. (Published 11/08/16)
There's no one universal thing to say or do that will always fit. (Published 11/1/16)
What people show on the outside and what they feel on the inside are often worlds apart.
Punishing yourself for something you didn't cause, and lack the power to undo, is unfair to you. (Published 10/18/16)
Most people don't even know that recovery from loss is possible, much less how to go about it. (Published 10/11/16)
Other issues are distracting, but your primary task is dealing with your broken heart. (Published 10/4/16)
The attempt to protect children from grief can backfire!
The best way to find out how someone else feels is for you to go first! (Published 09/20/2016)
Sometimes the best way to help someone else is to help yourself. (Published 9/13/2016)
The circumstances of a death — whether by suicide or other causes — can create a temporary or long-term breach of faith. (Published 9/6/2016)
Sometimes unresolved grief can look like competition or comparison.
It's sad when those we love are no longer here. It's even sadder when we don't talk about them.
Many stimuli, conscious or unconscious, can provoke memories that make us sad. (Published 8/16/2016)
It's normal and natural to have sad emotions when looking at pictures and videos. (Published 8/9/16)
Time can't heal an emotional wound anymore than it can fix a flat tire (Published 8/2/16)
When our parents die, many of our feelings are childlike, no matter how old we are. (Published 7/26/16)
Telling children the truth about suicide of a parent — difficult but essential. (Published 7/19/2016)
Death of a former spouse from whom we're divorced can be devastating. (Published 7/12/2016)
Remarriages often cause wedges between original family members. (Published 7/5/2016)
It's dangerous to compare our insides to other people's outsides. (Published 6/28/2016)
It's not helpful to blame ourselves for the decisions others make. (Published 6/21/2016)
The death of a younger sibling can be very painful for those of us who helped raise them. (Published 6/7/2016)
We don't want to "get over" our emotional relationships with people or animals; that would mean forgetting them. (Published 5/31/2016)
It's not uncommon for grieving parents to struggle with pain and jealousy when they see children at family events. (Published 5/24/2016)
You may regret the decision NOT to attend a memorial more than the sad feelings you might have if you attend. (Published 5/17/2016)
It's heartbreaking, but grandparents are often legally kept from seeing their grandkids. (Published 5/11/2016)
There's a world of difference between grief and grief recovery. (Published 5/3/2016)
Memorials and shrines are excellent reminders of people we love, but they do not necessarily facilitate recovery.
You can't change someone who doesn't want to change.
We must grieve and complete each relationship so that fond memories do not turn painful on us. (Published 4/19/2016)
It's difficult to make crucial medical decisions when your emotions are up in the air. (Published 4/12/2016)
New relationship doesn't have that "I can't live without you" feeling. (Published 4/5/2016)
Finally found dad, only to have him torn away by a gory accident. (Published 3/29/2016)
The divorce or break-up ends the day-to-day physical relationship, but doesn't complete the emotional attachment. (Published 3/22/2016)
Opening the emotional door to all memories, not just the painful ones. (Published 3/15/2016)
The difficult task of letting your Alzheimer's affected family member or friend be who they are not who they used to be. (Published 3/8/2016)
The news that a former spouse died years ago can feel as raw as if it hapened today. (Published 3/1/2016)
When someone from our romantic past dies it can unearth unfinished emotions, or unresolved grief. (Published 02/23/2016)
Adapting to the painful, unwanted reality of the death of somone meaningful to you isn't easy or painless. (Published 2/16/2016)
It's best to deal with your emotions first to help you to deal with memorabilia. (Published 2/9/2016)
We need a permanent, re-locatable place to visit to remember important people in our lives who have died. (Published 2/2/2016)
It's not always possible to get back into the inner circle, but you can still deal with your broken heart. (Published 01/26/2016)
The right tools are the pathway to recovery from grief. (Published 01/19/2016)
Moving forward even when you feel stuck. (Published 1/12/2016)
An awful lot of people would just as soon leap over the holiday months - too many remidners of people who are gone. (Published 1/5/2016)
Your feelings are unique to you. Don't compare them with what it "looks" like others are feeling. (Published 12/29/2015)
Grief can feel worse when insensitive language is used. (Published 12/22/2015)
When we don't know how to deal with our grief, we wait for time to heal us, but it only gets worse. (Published 12/15/2015)
Grief is not a "process." It is a collection of memories and feelings about your relationship with the person who died. (Published 12/8/2015)
How to shift from constant painful feelings to a more comprehensive emotional view of the whole relationship. (Published 12/1/2015)
The feelings attached to a broken heart don't just roll off your back. (Published 11/24/2015)
Fear is the normal and natural emotional reaction to loss. As in: How will I go on without that person? (Published 11/17/2015)
It's okay to talk about things that weren't always happy or pleasant. Be truthful but not mean-spirited. (Published 11/11/2015)
Nothing wrong with dreaming about someone you miss. (Published 11/3/2015)
It's not just knowing what to do, you have to do it! (Published 10/27/2015)
Grief without recovery can be never-ending! (Published 10/20/2015)
Widows and widowers sometimes get trapped in the idea that they're "cheating" when they enter new relationships. (Published 10/13/2015)
There are always things we wish had been different, better, or more, especially at the end of the life of someone important to us. (Published 10/6/2015)
Whether or not the perpetrator is ever caught and punished, you must get yourself out of your emotional jail. (Poblishec 09/29/2015)
Sometimes our well-intended advice backfires—especially when it wasn't requested. (Published 9/22/2015)
It's difficult to define normal as it relates to grief, but if you're troubled by your thoughts and feelings, get help. (Published 9/15/2015)
When our parent[s] dies when we are very young, we're left with constant wondering of how it might have been. (Published 9/8/2015)
Raw emotions of grief are painful, especially in reaction to an unexpected death by suicide. (Published 9/1/2015)
How to help very young children who don't understand the permanence of death. (Published 8/25/2015)
The key to recovery is willingness. You can only set an example, you can't do it for them. (Published 8/18/2015)
Acceptance is a by-product of taking the actions of Grief Recovery. (Published 8/11/2015)
Sometimes our tears help our heart and body deal with the emotional pain of loss. (Published 8/4/2015)
We are often robbed of one more or one last chance to say "goodbye." (Published 7/28/2015)
Happily reunited after a long estrangement, only to lose her to a post-surgery death. (Published 7/21/2015)
When your heart is broken, it can be difficult to access your religious or spiritual beliefs. (Published 7/15/2015)
We sometimes think the harsh words we said in an argument caused someone to die. It's not true. (Published 7/7/2015)
Traumatic events leave painful images and keep us from our primary grief about the person who died. (Published 6/30/2015)
Alcohol and drugs only cover up the pain, they don't lead you to feeling better after a loss. (Published 6/23/2015)
Misguided hurtful comments can keep us from our primary grief. (Published 6/16/2015)
when my dad died, I lost my biggest cheerleader. (Published 6/9/2015)
How to help your broken heart heal. (Published 6/2/2105)
When it's hard to believe that someone you love is gone. (Published 5/26/2015)
We often lie about our feelings because we think we might be judged for having them. (Published 5/19/2015)
Many people stay stuck in grieving and don't move towards grief recovery. (Published 5/12/2015)
Dealing with the absence of a final communication when there has been a sudden death. (Published 05/05/2015)
"I don't know what to say" is often the best thing to say. (Published 4/28/2015)
"Reaching out for someone who's always been there, only to discover when I need him one more time, he's no longer there." (Published 4/21/2015)
The absence of important people in our lives is difficult at the best of times, but at difficult times, we miss them exponentially. (Published 4/14/2015)
I have regrets thinking about removing life support - maybe there would have been a miracle. (Published 4/7/2015)
Time alone, without correct actions, cannot fix a broken heart. (Published 3/31/2015)
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide - from birthdays, holidays, and other reminders. (Published 3/24/2015)
Bogged down in emotional quicksand from one death after another. (Published 3/17/2015)
Please don't avoid grieving friends - grief isn't contagious! (Published 3/10/2015)
Impossible to explain "why." (Published 3/3/2015)
What to keep and what to discard? Difficult decisions—but take actions of recovery first, then make those choices. (Published 2/24/2015)
We all grieve in our own way and pace; but many of us are missing the actions that will help us "complete" our grief. (Published 2/17/2015)
Older sister concerned that younger sister won't have dad to walk her down aisle. (Published 2/10/2015)
It's important to focus on the primary grief about the person who died, not on the surrounding circumstances. (Published 2/3/2015)
Emotions of grief sometimes appear to conflict with religious beliefs. Grief recovery actions can help our spiritual connections. (Published 1/27/2015)
The Most Frequent Question we get is: "When will this pain end?" (Published 1/20/2015)
Incomplete past romantic relationships can sabotage current marriages. (Published 1/13/2015)
The cause of death can add a paniful dimension to the loss. (Published 1/6/2015)
The best way to help others is to help yourself. When they see you doing better, they will want to know how you did that. (Published 12/30/2014)
The ongoing pain from not having had a chance to say goodbye. (Published 12/23/2014)
The powerful images we can conjure up in our minds about things we've read or heard, are nothing short of terrifying. (Published 12/16/2014)
When you are the griever, you are not an educator. Don't let anyone distract you from your primary task of dealing with your loss. (Published 12/9/2014)
In the immediate aftermath of the death of someone important to us, it feels impossible to do anything more than make it through one more day. (Published 12/2/2014)
You need to do the work on yourself so you can tell the children about their dad who they won't remember. (Publisheed 11/25/2014)
Recovery is possible even when the cause of death is unknown. (Published 11/18/2014)
Whatever you don't talk about stays trapped inside of you, and can only do you harm—it can't help. (Published 11/11/2014)
Sometimes the word "overwhelming" is too small a word to describe what grievers go through with multiple losses in a short time. (Published 11/4/2014)
Sometimes grief feels like a long-term, low-grade infection, and time doesn't make it go away. (Published 10/28/2014)
YES, it's normal to feel sad and miss someone on holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions. (Published 10/21/2014)
When your hopes and dreams for the future get ripped away. (Published 10/14/2014)
We never compare losses—ever! All losses are experienced at 100%. Every relationship is unique, there are no exceptions. (Published 10/7/2014)
Guilt implies intent to harm and rarely is accurate to descibe the feelings of most grieving people. (Published 9/30/2014)
Death of a long-term spouse can feel like losing a piece of your body. (Published 09/23/2014)
The death of someone important to us robs the possiblity of repairing damaged relationships, but we can still become emotionally complete. (Published 9/16/2014)
The ending of a very short relationship can be totally devastating. (Published 9/9/2014)
Asking sad questions over and over without taking recovery actions, can be an endless, painful loop. (Published 9/2/2014)
When your heart is broken your head doesn't work right and your spirit can't soar. (Published 8/26/2014)
You can be strong or you can be human. Pick one! (Published 8/19/2014)
You can't help people who don't want or ask for help. You can only help yoursellf, and hope they see the changes in you. (Published 8/12/2014)
'Monkey See, Monkey Do' can send the wrong signals about grief. (Published 8/5/2014)
The good news and bad news are equal—it's normal and natural to love somone and hate some of the things they've done. (Published 7/29/2014)
Letting go implies forgetting, and you'll never forget the important people in your life. (Published 7/22/2014)
Often the person you most need to talk to about your sadness, is the person who's gone. (Published 7/15/2014)
Since the nature of marriage is very different from relationships between parents and children, the emotional intensity is differently powerful. (Published 7/8/2014)
There's no time limit on how long you display pictures of someone who died, and there's no limit to keeping other possessions. (Published 7/1/2014)
One of the best things you can do is have "normal" conversations, rather than make forced attempts to say something profound. (Published 6/24/2014)
Time is not an action, it can't make you feel better. (Published 6/24/2014)
The idea of denial and grief is a false connection. (Published 6/17/2014)
Unresolved grief is about all the things we wish we had said or done differently, better, or more. (Published 6/10/2014)
Not feeling ready to let go of his possessions. (Published 6/3/2014)
The first key to recovery is reaching out and asking for help. (Published 5/27/2014)
Someone with parallel losses can't necessarily help you because all relationships are unique. (Published 5/20/2014)
The truth is we are NEVER ready for anyone we love to die. (Published 5/13/2014)
You don't have to shed tears to prove that you're sad. (Published 5/6/2014)
It is possible to regain a sense of security and well-being after a "constant" person in our life has died. (Published 4/28/2014)
The actions of recovery are different from just distracting yourself by burying yourself in work. (Published 4/22/2014)
You can't go over, under, or around it, you have to go through it. (Published 4/15/2014)
The anguish of missing someone you never really knew. (Published 4/8/2014)
It's never hepful to compare an intellectual fact with the normal and natural emotional reaction to a death. (Published 4/1/2014)
Discovery doesn't equal recovery. Realizing how we sabotaged our marriages doesn't bring our former partners back to us. (Published 3/25/2014)
"Getting past" and "getting over" imply forgetting. You will never forget the important people who affected your life. (Published 3/18/2014)
Sometimes the poetry of a phrase is powerful, but the implied solution cannot be taken literally. (Published 3/11/2014)
Helping youself with your grief is sometimes the best way to help someone you care about. Lead by example. (Published 3/4/2014)
It's important to honor our own instincts and not pay too much attention to what others might think. (Published 2/25/2014)
Time doesn't heal, but adapting to life without someone you love must be accommodated within time. (Published 2/18/2014)
"Is this what my life will be forever?" (Published 2/11/2014)
People with parallel losses don't really know how you feel. (Published 2/4/2014)
It's sometimes difficult to stay to the end when someone you love is dying. (Published 1/28/2014)
A great testament is to have emotions, not hide them. (Published 1/21/2014)
When you are distracted from your pirmary grief about the person who died. (Published 1/14/2014)
Unique question about how we refer to someone who has died. (Published 1/7/2014)
Grievers want to see their loved ones and say "I love you", one more time. (Published 12/31/2013)
Not informed about her mother's death until six monght later, she struggles to feel complete. (Published 12/24/2013)
Grieving people need and want an opportunity to talk about 'what happened' and about their relationship with the person it happened to. (Published 12/17/2013)
The death of someone important to you creates a large pool of emotion; and when you add a second major death, the emotional equation goes up exponentially. (Published 12/10/13)
To feel sad when someone important to us dies makes sense—so our best guidance to you is not to fight the sadness, but allow it. (Published 12/3/13)
In order to take joy from your happy memories you must also be able to feel the pain and sadness of the loss. (Published 11/26/2013)
Time doesn't heal emotional wounds, but we must adapt to our losses within time. (Published 11/19/13)
If someone doesn't want help, there's not much you can do to force them. But there are some things you can do that might help them be willing to try. (Published 11/12/13)
How do get closure when you're barred from the funeral of someone you love? (Published 11/5/2013)
Dealing with not being notified and not being able to attend the funeral or memorial. (Published 10/29/2013)
The good news is that as you take Grief Recovery actions, you'll find your energy coming back. (Published 10/22/2013)
She was robbed of saying "goodbye" (Published 10/15/2013)
By pulling away, you get a double dose of the pain when they die. (Published 10/8/2013)
So many people ask, "What more could I have done?" (Published 10/1/2013)
It's not uncommon for people to turn to drink or drugs to try to deal with their overwhelming feelings when affected by a death. (Published 9/24/2013)
Keeping Busy doesn't heal your broken heart! (Published 9/17/2013)
We were supposed to grow old together. (Published 9/10/2013)
Intervention doesn't work with grief recovery, but there are ways to reach out. (Published 9/3/2013)
Dying people sometimes exclude the people they love! (Published 8/27/2013)
Missing a long-term mate is very difficult. Where do you go with the feelings you used to share? (Published 8/20/2013)
It's overwhelming when we're sad about the death of someone important to us, and afraid of another loss. (Published 8/13/2103)
Yes, your life is different after important people die, but you can take actions to help yourself. (Published 8/6/2013)
A Broken Heart Is Not Attached To A Clock Or A Timer That Tells It When To Stop Hurting. (Published 7/30/2013)
When You Look In The Rear-View Mirror Of Your Life And All You See Is The Litany Of Losses Of The Past Few Years. (Published 7/23/2013)
Your Relationship With Him Was About How He Lived His Life AND About How He Died (Published 7/16/2013)
We Get To Remember—And Laugh And Cry, And That Way Keep The Memories As Strong As Possible (Published 7/9/2013)
Good News: It's Impossible For You To Forget Your Boyfriend Who Died, And Impossible To "Lose" The Fond Memories Of Your Relationship With Him (Published 7/2/2013)
Regaining The Ability To Function Effectively Even Though He Is No Longer Here (Published 6/25/2013)
It's Never Selfish To Need And Want Someone To Be There In Your Life (Published June 18, 2013)
What Matters Most Is Not What Others Believe About You—It's What You Are Feeling That May Be Keeping You Stuck. (Published 6/11/2013)
Time Is Not The Key Factor In When A Person Should Start Dating After The Death Of A Spouse (Published 6/4/2013)
How can I be so angry with a man who was so wonderful when he was here? (Published 5/28/2013)
Tumultuous relationships usually leave a large residue of unfinished emotional business (Published May 21, 2013)
Trying to put together a puzzle with very few pieces (Published 5/14/2013)
When a new loss is imposed on children in order to save their lives (Published 5/7/13)
How can I be happy and sad at the same time? (Published 4/30/2013)
The Pain of Grief Doesn't Have to Be A Permanent Companion
Sometimes the best way to help someone you love, is to help yourself. (Published 4/16/2013)
A broken heart is sometimes about what never got to happen. (Published 4/9/2013)
We were never close, like a mother and daughter should be. (Published 4/2/2013)
When someone we used to be married to dies, we often experience a re-remembering of the entire relationship, the good, the bad, and sometimes, the ugly. (Published 3/26/2013)
We don't believe there's any such thing as "complicated grief." But there is unattended grief that doesn't get better because time can't heal emotional wounds. (Published 3/19/2013)
Adult or child, "In a crisis we go back to old behaviors or old beliefs." Nine year-old reverts to childlike behavior when dad dies. (Published 3/12/2013)
Sadly, it's all too common that we're confronted with family, financial, and property issues that distract us from the real issue—our broken hearts. (Published 3/5/2013)
We don't like being dishonest about feelings, it doesn't help anyone. (Published 2/26/2013)
We have hope for you because in spite of your obvious pain and pessimistic view of the future, you have nonetheless reached out for help. (Published 2/19/2013)
To be your son's leader, you need to learn how to deal effectively with your own losses! (Published 2/12/2013)
Our emotions go to high-alert when we're about to have surgery! (Published 2/5/2013)
What can I do to help myself move on so I can be a happy wife and mother? (Published 1/29/2013)
You don't have the power to make an alcoholic stop drinking, and all the love in the word can't repair someone else's mental health. (Published 1/22/2013)
I can't take losing another person in my life. (Published 1/15/2013)
I still cry every time I think of him. Could I have PTSD? (Published 1/8/2013)
Do recurring dreams about someone who died represent unresolved grief? (Published 1/1/2013)
After my great aunt died, I felt like I hadn't seen her enough, but she lived far away so we never had the money to go see her. (Published 12/25/2012)
Before he died, my husband said I should find someone to take care of me. He did not give me a time frame. I just wanted him to get better. (Published 12/18/2012)
I wasn't raised with my mom, but I did get to spend some time with her after I got out of foster homes. I still feel like there is something missing in my heart. (Published 12/11/2012)
How do I deal with losing them when there was still so much unsaid? (Published 12/4/2012)
Having emotions—including tears—when you look at his picture is not "breaking down." It is being human and sad and missing someone you love. (Published 11/27/2012)
It's been a year and a half since my wife died and I don't want to face the Holidays. (Published 11/20/2012)
Is Someone Who Cares Reading This? (Published 11/13/2012)
If you stay focused on this one thing—no matter how big it is to you—you rob yourself of the richness and complexity of the whole relationship over three decades. (Published 11/6/2012)
This is the first Mother's Day that I don't have her. Why is it so hard and painful for me? (Published 10/30/2012)
The actions of completion will not be "letting go" of and losing your friends, instead they will allow you to retain all the fond memories you have of them. (Published 10/23/2012)
"Grief is not so much a disease to be cured, as it is a natural reaction to loss, and the goal should be reconciliation and completion, not avoidance." (Published 10/16/2012)
You can be strong, or you can be human, pick one! (Published 10/9/2012)
At six weeks after the death of your spouse, we wouldn't consider your feelings of sadness to be self-absorption. (Published 10/2/2012)
When someone important to us dies, that is one of the biggest, most painful changes we ever experience. (Published 9/25/2012)
You have a lifetime of memories about your Mom, we don't want you to be stuck on the last images. (Published 9/18/2012)
Two helpful phrases when talking to a grieving person. (Published 9/11/2012)
"How can I tell them I love them when they are not here?" (Published 9/4/2012)
Why me? is a pretty logical question in your circumstances, even though there's no real answer. (Published 8/28/2012)
Trying "not" to think about a painful image just doesn't work. (Published 8/21/2012)
Drugs Overpower A Mother's Love (Published 8/14/2012)
Families Don't Always Stick Together (Published 8/7/2012)
Make Small And Accurate Comments As Feelings Come Up (Published 7/31/2012)
I'm Scared, And Don't Want To Do It, But I Will Do It Anyway (Published 7-24-2012)
If You Focus On The Choices You Had to Make Through Your Rear-View Mirror, You Will Only Harm Yourself (Published 7-17-2012)
I Feel I've Lost A Part Of Me (Published 7-10-2012)
There Are Many Death-Related Situations In Which The Human, Emotional Reaction Is To Be Angry At God (Published 7-3-2012)
Better to say, "At this moment, I don't have much energy," than "I'm depressed today." The latter turns a fleeting feeling into a 24 hour condition (Published 6-26-2012).
Many people get robbed of a funeral and the chance to say "goodbye." Published (6-19-2012)
Grieving people sometimes don't ask for help, and if it's offered, they won't always take advantage of it. (Published 6-12-2012)
Certain areas of a home—particularly a bedroom or bed, are massive reminders of someone who is no longer alive. (Published 6-5-2012)
We'd guess it's your nature and style to be open and emotive with your feelings. If that's true, we say, YAY! (Published 5-29-2012)
Her possessions represent a tangible link to her and your memory of your life with her. (Published 5-22-2012)
"…And I Forgive You So I Can Be Free"—a phrase can save your emotional life. (Published 5-15-2012)
The reduction of pain does not necessarily mean you're emotionally complete with your friend who died. It may only mean that you're adapting to the loss. (Published 5-8-2012)
Don't analyze, criticize, or judge the griever—and definitely don't offer unsolicited opinions or advice. (Published 5-1-2012)
Missing people we never really knew (Published 4-24-2012)
Many people get focused on the end of the relationship and lose sight of the whole relationship (Published 4-17-2012)
Unsolicited advice is never well-received (Published 4-10-2012)
Self-protective actions vs. intent to harm someone else (Published 4-3-2012)
It's very difficult to help someone who does not want or ask for help (Published 3-27-2012)
If we knew it was going to be their last night, we'd move heaven and earth to be there (Published 3-20-2012)
In condolences, be careful NOT to say "I Know How You Feel" (Published 3-13-12)
Will this sickening, awful feeling ever improve? (Published 3-6-12)
Anticipatory Grief is not real—it means thinking that you can know what feeling you will have in the future which is not here yet (Published 2-28-12)
Feeling half-way good, and then plunging down the emotional elevator shaft (Published 2-21-12)
The emotional stimulus of certain songs or chronicling dates – like anniversaries and birthdays (Published 2-14-12)
No matter how devasted you are by grief, you still need to motivate yourself to take actions that lead to recovery (Published 2-7-12)
It hurts as bad as it did when it first happened, but when I think of it I get extremely angry. (Published 1-31-12)
I'm getting tired of propping everyone else up. (Published 1-24-12)
Love or union is the product of Truthful Communication. (Published 1-17-12)
He was not only my father he was my best friend. (Published 1-10-12)
Families are often torn apart when a parent dies. Why? In part because so many different and unique relationships are a recipe for emotional disaster (Published 1-3-12)
On being "Ruled from the Grave" There's truth in that phrase, but Grief Recovery can break the bondage of that tyranny. (Published 12-27-11)
Blaming yourself is of no value, and it keeps you from the actions that lead to recovery. (Published 12-20-11)
Being "Stuck On a Painful Image" keeps us Stuck in the Grief (Published 12-13-11)
Is Guilt the Right Word? Answering a two-pronged question from a hurting young woman. (Published 12-6-11)
An eleven year old's upset reactions to questions about the deaths of her father and granny actually make sense (Published 11-29-11)
Follow-up question on going on after someone dies - being a complete person again (Published 11-22-11)
Many people struggle with their feelings about God following the death of someone important to them (Published 11-15-11)
Explaining death to young children and to a child with special needs (Published 11-8-11)
The problem with talking about how bad you feel is that it makes you good at feeling bad (Published 11-1-11)
It's never too late to apologize (Published 10-25-11)
What can I do other than force myself to cry to make people stop worrying about me? (Published 10-18-11)
No statute of limitations on missing someone and feeling sad – or enjoying fond memories (Published 10-11-11)
The person who is now gone, is the one person you need more than ever (Published 10-4-11)
The impact of the death of a former spouse - often confusing and overwhelming! (Published 9-27-11)
Say "I feel sad in this moment," instead of "I feel sad today." Today is way too long to stay stuck in one feeling. (Published 9-20-11)
Unfortunately I Never Got the Chance to Thank Him for Everything (Published 9-13-11)
Children's Damaged Relationships with Her Husband - Their Father - Creates Collateral Emotional Damage (Published 9-6-11)
Has the Reality of My Loss Set in Yet? (Published 8-30-11)
How Do I Accept the Things I Did? (Published 8-23-11)
My daughter wants to take the plane to heaven to see her grandpa. (Published 8-16-11)
Is it normal for an adult child to feel like this? (Published 8-9-11)
With multiple deaths in a short period of time...just as we start being able to keep our head above the emotional waterline, another wave comes and pushes us under. (Published 8-2-11)
Consumed by the death—or about the relationship—possibly both. (Published 7-26-11)
It's perfectly normal and healthy to miss someone you love. What's not okay is to live in constant pain. (Published 7-19-11)
Is it always appropriate to go to a funeral? (Published 7-12-11)
Great question—whether or not we "ever really recover" (Published 7-5-11)
But for "one second earlier or one second later," our lives are changed forever. (Published 6-28-11)
When the last interaction between people before one dies, was negative. (Published 6-21-11)
The unanswerable question: How your life might have unfolded had he not committed suicide? (6-14-11)
Your Broken Heart Talking! (Published 6-07-11)
Alcohol can leave a trail of destruction in its wake! (5-31-11)
"How can I tell them I love them when they are not here?" (Published 5-24-11)
They want us looking good, feeling good, and being productive 3-5 days later! (Published 5-17-11)
Trying "not" to think about it doesn't work. (Published 5-10-11)
Your life IS different than it would have been! (Published 5-03-11)
Caught Between Medical Decisions and a Broken Heart (Published 4/26/11)
How do you solve unresolved issues when the other person is dead? (Published 4/18/11)
Will I ever feel normal again? (Published 4/11/11)
Surprise when a great deal of emotion surfaces a substantial time after the death of someone important. (Published 4/4/11)
Mutilple deaths, one after the other, makes us feel like we're drowning (Published 3/28/11)
Follow-up from Sam: Trite and Inane Remarks, and how to handle them (Published 3/21/11)
Families and Legal Mayhem (Published 3/14/2011)
A Statement of Death is NOT Denial (Published 3/7/2011)
The warm and fuzzies that never happened. (Published 2/28/2011)
Tragic deaths compound our pain. (Published 2/22/2011)
Some feelings represent your Broken Heart Talking. (Published 2/15/2011)
Time and Intensity! (Published 2/8/2011)
Adapting to the death of someone important to you (Published 2/1/2011)
Grief Is Exhausting! (Published 1/25/2011)
A tangled web of losses! (Published 1/18/2011)
The emotional Novocain wears off. (Published 1/11/2010)
Hopes, Dreams, & Expectations (Published 1/4/2011)
The Victim's families often feel as if "they" are on trial. (Published 12/28/2010)
The Holidays – a perfect time to demonstrate the truth to your children. (Published 12/20/2010)
Sadness and Joy are both normal. Pain is the option we want to remove. (Published 12/20/2010)
I started to call her and then remembered she was gone! (Published 12/20/2010)
Will I Ever Recover? (Published 11/30/2010)
Stuck on a Painful Image (Published 11/20/2010)
Pointing Friends in the Direction of Recovery (Published 11/10/2010)
The Good, The Bad, and Sometimes, The Ugly (Published 11/3/2010)
Have I Gone Crazy? (Published 10/15/2010)
How do I deal with the anger I feel? (Published 10/1/2010)
Featured Products
Find Local Support
If you or someone important to you wants help with grief: Look for a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist℠ in your community. The Grief Recovery Institute ® trains and mentors Certified Grief Recovery Specialists℠ throughout the United States & Canada.
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The Grief Recovery Institute ® offers Certification Training programs for those who wish to help grievers.
April 2017Indianapolis, IN - April 7-10, 2017
Princeton, NJ - April 7-10, 2017
Reading, Berkshire, England - April 21-24, '17
Denver, CO - April 21-24, 2017
Vancouver, BC, Canada - Apr 28-May 1,'17
San Francisco, CA - Apr 28-May 1,'17
May 2017Seattle, WA - May 5-8, 2017
Dallas, TX - May 5-8, 2017
Milwaukee, WI - May 19-22, 2017
Torquay, Devon, England - May 19-22, '17
Regina, SK, Canada - May 19-22,'17
Los Angeles, CA - May 19-22, 2017


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Dane Cook
Yearly Forecast for 2023
Dane Cook is an American stand-up comedian and film actor, who is known for using observational, often vulgar, and sometimes dark comedy, and his comedy album Retaliation became the highest charting comedy album in 28 years and went platinum.
He was born on Saturday March 18th 1972, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States.
During 2023, Dane Cook has to be ready for major changes. He will be inspired to start new projects or enterprises. Dane will feel a strong forward push toward new goals. This is a time for vision and planning. Cook should share his dream with others; make plans, get the necessary support, but, above all, rely on himself as the driving force, and most importantly - be decisive!
Dane Cook is starting a new nine-year Epicycle. Everything he does now will affect his future. Dane must not hold back the inner force of creation. He needs to be direct, daring, and bold.
Cook will have more confidence and determination this year, particularly in comparison with last year, which was a time of letting go. This year represents a time of birth. It is a time to take charge and to apply himself to his dream. This is also a good time to make the personal changes Dane Cook has long wanted to make: start a diet and/or an exercise program, or begin a new course of study.
There may be some emotional turmoil, especially in the first two or three months. It takes a while to get the ball rolling. There are many changes Dane must make and much work to be done. He should be open-minded, organized, and focused, while avoiding distractions and procrastination.
Cook is at a crossroads. He will need courage and a clear head to stay on the right track. This is a year of opportunities.
The key months in Dane Cook's year of 2023 are March, in which Dane is able to lay the foundation to his plans; April, in which changes take place such as a change of residence or career; July and August mark a time in which Cook will see the fruits of his labors begin to take place; October 2023 represents a major turn in events, often fraught with emotional turmoil; the fall marks a coalescing of Dane Cook's plans into more concrete form.
Let's take a look now at Dane's monthly forecast for February 2023.
You and Dane
About Dane's Personal Year Cycle
In numerology, each year of Dane's life is part of an evolving pattern that can be described as a nine-year cycle or epicycle. These cycles begin at Dane Cook's birth and progress, one by one, through nine steps that complete an epicycle, and then begin again.
Read more about our numerological yearly forecast for


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Searching for a certain size, shape or prefer a specific color? Looking for labels that fit your Monarch handheld labeler? Need a solution for uniquely-shaped merchandise? Want to customize your message or add a logo? No problem. We offer the largest selection of genuine Monarch stock, custom and security labels with the fastest lead time in the industry. Our labels are made with premium paper and adhesives and proudly made in the USA. With Monarch Labels you'll find the solutions you're looking for—and maybe even some you didn't know you needed. Read more about the benefits of Monarch Brand Labels here.
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Aislaby Grange, Stockton on Tees (near Yarm)
Browse our selection of vintage and retro black and white photographs of places near Aislaby Grange, along with a selection of local history books, and fascinating memories that our visitors have contributed. Most of our photos and maps are available to buy in a wide range of product formats, including framed prints, canvas prints and personalised photo gifts including tea towels, mugs, jigsaws, tableware, cushion covers and as customised calendars.
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text: читатель жу-жу (chitatel_zhuzhu) wrote, 2020-11-22 11:00:00 читатель жу-жу chitatel_zhuzhu 2020-11-22 11:00:00 Previous Share Flag Next (by Sergey Orlov) Tags: рисунки Subscribe Posts from This Journal "рисунки" Tag (by Dragonsbane) … (by NESSI +) … (by Zhichao Cheng) … (by Art of Neight) … (by wonbin lee) … (by HE XIAOSONG) … promo chitatel_zhuzhu Buy for 10 tokens Journal information Current price10 LJ Tokens Social capital1 601 Friends of Duration24 hours Minimal stake10 LJT View all available promo Buy promo for minimal price. Post a new comment Error ramblerID We will log you in after post We will log you in after post We will log you in after post We will log you in after post We will log you in after post Anonymously switch ramblerID LiveJournal Facebook Twitter OpenId Google MailRu VKontakte Anonymously default userpic Your reply will be screened Your IP address will be recorded When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed. You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use. Post a new comment Preview comment Help 1 comment Post a new comment 1 comment


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She took the cute Trick or treat smell my feet- paper from the Boo-tiful collection and cut out the insides from all the circles.. Added some different papers from other collections to the insides..
Supplies used: Patterned papers from My friend birdie, something for everyone, Tree love and Boo-tiful, Black Burlap Buttons and some great wintage brads from Creative Charms.
She took my cute Butterflypunch and made a whole bunch of butterflies from 3 different pappers.. and then sewed them onto my layout.. She likes how she can get the wings to look more dimensional this way.
Supplies used: Patterned papers from; Something for everyone, Sugar Cookie. Super cute brads from Creative Charms
Design Notes: I had fun lacing up the "For Trish" Die-Cut paper (made me think of corsets!!!). I cut up the paisleys from the "For Lanie" paper and formed them into flowers!!! The paisleys were topped with the circle stickers from the Cardstock Sticker Sheet and a light blue Cool Cord Brad.
Design Notes: Love these brads from Creative Charms!!! These are two layouts proving that even boy pages can be glammed up using these beautiful brads by Creative Charms!!


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Vanilla must be one of the most popular flavours and aromas ever. When cooking I always use vanilla extract rather than essence. Extract as the word suggests is extracted directly from the vanilla pod while essence is merely a whiff of vanilla in amongst chemicals. That explains the higher price of extract. A friend of mine, Vanessa Kimbell went to visit to a Ugandan vanilla farm earlier this year and in her blog post she explains just how valuable and special vanilla is.
Making homemade vanilla extract may not be news to you but I seem to live under that rock that means you find all the best things out after everyone else! Rewind to this time last year, I saw this post and what a revelation it was to me! I had no idea you could make your own vanilla extract!
Of course since my eyes were opened to homemade vanilla extract I have come across other vanilla extract posts, confirming my living under a rock theory! Well better late than never I've since made my own vanilla extract and it's really easy and very successful, it's just like the store-bought vanilla extract! I've been using it all of this year, whenever vanilla is required in a recipe. There are many recipes for making your own vanilla extract, some say to heat the vodka, some make large quantities but buying so many vanilla pods is quite spendy and not knowing how happy I would be with the results I kept my quantities small, bearing in mind that the bottles of vanilla extract one buys are around 100 mls or less I still felt like I ended up with a good amount of vanilla. Of course it turned out to be wonderful so I could have made more!
I'm posting this now in case anyone is inspired to make their own vanilla extract, if you start now it will be ready for Christmas and would make a fabulous gift for that foodie in your life!
I've had trouble finding small bottles that are sold individually so for now I have saved the small bottles that store-bought vanilla comes in for refilling with my vanilla.
Homemade Vanilla Extract
- 4 vanilla pods
- 350 mls vodka
- I made my vanilla in a clean 500 ml size jar.
- Split your vanilla pods down the middle and place in your chosen jar.
- Pour the vodka in and swirl the beans around.
- Store in a cool, dark place for around 3 months, giving it a swirl every now and then.
Thats it! So easy! When your vanilla starts running out just keep topping up with vodka and add a new vanilla bean.


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Here you will find information for how to clear Gardenscapes Level 2445. We have included videos for Gardenscapes Level 2445 with all tips, tricks, hints, strategy and walk-through to clear Level 2445 of Gardenscapes. This game is developed by Playrix. Please note Level 2445 is difficult and challenging.
How to beat Level 2445 of Gardenscapes?
This Video shows players the strategy to beat Gardenscapes Level 2445
This is the strategy that we used to beat this level
A) In Level 2445 of Gardenscapes match three pieces of the same type by swapping adjacent ones.
B) Match four pieces to get a Firecracker in Level 2445 of Gardenscapes.
C) In Gardenscapes Level 2445 swap firecracker with an adjacent piece to launch it.
D) You can also explode power-ups by simply double tapping them in Gardenscapes Level 2445.
E) In Level 2445 match five pieces to receive a Bomb power-up.
F) The more pieces you match, the more powerful the power-up you get is in Level 2445.
G) In Gardenscapes Level 2445 you get Dynamite by matching six pieces.
H) In Gardenscapes Level 2445 dynamite blows everything up within a three tile radius.
I) Rainbow blast charges a little more every time you detonate a power-up in the field in Gardenscapes Level 2445.
J) In Gardenscapes Level 2445 keep in mind the piece type needed to complete an objective.
K) Most important tip is to take your time in Level 2445 of Gardenscapes.
Play Gardenscapes on:
Android – https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.playrix.gardenscapes
iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/ru/app/gardenscapes-new-acres/id1038103805855010389
No of stars Required – One
Boosters which help you clear Level 2445 of Gardenscapes –
a) In Level 2445 of Gardenscapes TNT barrel power-up is substantially deadlier by matching seven pieces or more.
b) You can swap Rainbow blast power-up with any adjacent piece on the board in order on a random part of the board in Level 2445 of Gardenscapes.
c) In Gardenscapes Level 2445 Firecracker explode all the neighboring tiles.
d) Bombs explode everything within a two-tile radius in Gardenscapes Level 2445.
e) In Level 2445 Dynamite explodes everything within a three-tile radius.
Different Type of Goals you will find in Level 2445 of Gardenscapes –
a) Collect the required Pieces
b) Find Gnomes
c) Drop Lemonades
Similar Games –
Dr Mario World
Toon Blast
Candy Crush Jelly Saga
Disney Emoji Blitz
Supported Android or Apple Devices for Gardenscapes Level 2445 –
a) Android Devices – Own a processor built on ARMv7 architecture
Support OpenGL ES 1.0
Support a 310×480 resolution or higher
Run on Android OS 1.3 or higher
b) Apple Devices – iOS version 6.0 or later on the following models:
iPhone 4S, iPhone 5, iPhone 5s, iPhone 6 and later models
iPad 1 and later models
iPad Mini
iPod Touch 4th generation and later
Still Struggling to finish Gardenscapes Level 2445?
I will update Gogamerez with more tips and tricks, so please bookmark Gogamerez.com. Surely, you can share your own stuff and help players unlock more goodies, levels, magic potions and earn stars. If you have any suggestions or questions, then do leave a comment and I or my friends and readers will answer them.
Visit Gardenscapes page for more level videos, written guides, tutorials, cheats and more.


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Our Centerfire Cleaning Rod Guides are designed to insert into your action In place of your bold or bolt carrier. They feature a snout with a silicone "O"-ring that inserts into your chamber, sealing the barrel off from the receiver. The "O"-ring prevents solvents from leaking back into the action area and gumming up the trigger assembly. We currently stock "O"-ring rod guides for over 1000 different action/cartridge combinations. Each rod guide is machined to fit specific actions and cartridge families from .17 up to .338 caliber. Unfortunately some rifle chamberings do not lend themselves to an "O"-ring style rod guide, for these cartridges we recommend one of our Adjustable Cone Style Rod Guides. In an effort to better serve the cleaning needs of our customers, we have upgraded our Sinclair "O"-ring rod guides to include integral solvent ports. This upgrade is now included with every centerfire bolt action rod guide and nearly all AR style rod guides. If you prefer a rod guide without an integral solvent port, please contact us via e-mail or phone and we will happily provide you with a rod guide to your liking. These rod guides without solvent ports will be treated as semi-custom, so please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery of rod guides without solvent ports. There is no additional charge for rod guides without integral solvent ports.
NOTE: Measure across around area of bolt about in middle with set of dial calipers. Contact Sinclair Reloading tech for proper rod guide.
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Cinema Paradiso
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|"Nuovo Cinema Paradiso"
|Memoir of a boy's life working at a movie theatre in small-town Italy after WWII. Film aspires to both majestic sweep and stirring poignancy, but only occasionally hits its target. Still manages to move the viewer, and it features a suitably low-key performance by the masterful Noiret. Autobiographically inspired script written by Tornatore. The version shown in America is approximately a half-hour shorter than the original Italian form.
|Directed by:
|Giuseppe Tornatore
|Miramax Films
|Philippe Noiret, Jacques Perrin, Salvatore Cascio, Marco Leonardi, Agnes Nano, Leopoldo Trieste


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Watch your favorite asian drama Healing Heroes (2022) Episode 33 with Eng Sub free play. Dramacool just releasing Healing Heroes (2022) Episode 33 English Subtitles latest high quality video At Dailymotion.
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Sault High sinks Houghton in hockey quarterfinal
MARQUETTE — Sault High's Nickolas McKenzie may not be the tallest person on the planet, but the junior goaltender stood tall in net Wednesday night.
McKenzie stopped 17 shots, helping the Blue Devils earn a 4-1 hockey victory over the Houghton Gremlins in a Division 3 state quarterfinal contest at Lakeview Arena.
"A referee told me I was kind of shy in net earlier this season," said McKenzie. "My game has really picked up during the past month. I've become more aggressive and been getting out and challenging the other teams. Also, our defensemen have been helping me out and I've been helping them out. It's mostly a matter of playing the angles."
The victory sends Sault High (21-8) to Friday's semifinals at Plymouth, where they'll face Flint Powers (22-5-1) Friday at 2:30 p.m. The title game is set for Saturday at 2.
McKenzie, who posted three shutouts in the regional tourney, finally gave up a goal to junior forward Casey Markham five minutes, 17 seconds into the third period of Wednesday's match-up.
"I think our goaltender outplayed their goaltender," said Sault High coach John Ferroni. "Nick felt confident coming in here and their goaltender didn't look real comfortable."
Sault High, which still led 3-1 after Markham's tally, finished the scoring on an empty-net goal by junior Willem Gauthier with 52 seconds left to play.
The Gremlins (22-6) nearly added a shorthanded tally on a breakaway midway through the third period. A shot by sophomore defensemen Tristan Foltz, however, hit the pipe.
"They tried to catch me off guard, but my friend (the pipe) helped me out," said McKenzie.
Sault High senior forward Eric Hillock opened the scoring on a slapshot from the left point 6:22 into the second stanza. Gauthier added a one-timer from the high slot for a two-goal cushion 4:20 later.
"Anytime you score the first goal in a playoff game, it's huge," said Sault High coach John Ferroni. "It seems like when we do score, we score in bunches. This was pretty similar to our game with them at Christmas time (a 6-3 victory in the MacInnes tournament at Michigan Tech). This was basically a one-goal game halfway through. Houghton kept coming at us. They have a nice, young team."
Sault High had several scoring chances in the last minutes of the opening frame. Houghton sophomore goaltender Jayson Wiitala, however, made a pair of stick saves and iced the puck moments after four Blue Devils stormed the net in search of a rebound shot.
"Our scouting report on them told us to shoot high and crash the net for rebounds, but their goaltender stood tall for the first 1 1/2 periods," said Ferroni. "We went top shelf on both goals in the second period, and we needed those. He (Wiitala) didn't do anything wrong. I don't think any other goaltender would have stopped those."
Houghton, despite being outshot 10-5, kept the Blue Devils scoreless in the opening frame.
"They had a few more opportunities then we did in the first period," said coach Markham. "We felt good going into the locker room with a scoreless tie. We felt we had some momentum, but it didn't work out that way. We just didn't convert on the opportunities we had."
The Blue Devils then grabbed a three-goal advantage on junior forward Chris Hazen's backhanded shot from the doorstep 5:01 into the third stanza, just 16 seconds prior to Casey Markham's goal.
Wiitala stopped 29 shots for the Gremlins, who were outshot 33-18.
"I thought our goaltender did an excellent job," said coach Markham. "He kept us in the game. It's always disappointing to lose a game like this, but we had an awesome season. We're proud of what we accomplished this year."
Sault High 0 2 2 — 4
Houghton 0 0 1 — 1
First period
No scoring
Second period
Sault High — Eric Hillock (Chase Gamelin, Chris Skinner), 6:22
Sault High — Willem Gauthier (Kyle TenEyck, Chris Hazen on power play), 10:43
Third period
Sault High — Hazen (Blake Mastaw), 5:01
Houghton — Casey Markham (Jon Bostwick), 5:17
Sault HIgh — Gauthier (empty net, unassisted), 16:08.
Shots on goal: Sault HIgh 33, Houghton 18
Power plays: Sault High 1-3, Houghton 0-3
Goaltender saves — Jayson Wiitala, Houghton, 29; Nickolas McKenzie, Sault High, 17.


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Iridescent Mystic Hair Clip
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We are a Veteran owned and run retail gun shop in Marysville, Washington providing the best service in the area. Aside from firearm sales, we also provide: - NFA products, sales and service (We possess an 02/07 SOT) through Silencer Shop (We have a kiosk in store too!) - Laser engraving for NFA marking, firearm stippling or just about any other custom work you can think of applying a pattern or picture to. - We have trusted, local subs for cerakote application, barrel threading, etc. Call for details!


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Home » Electroacoustic/Contemporary » WOLFF, CHRISTIAN: Early Piano Music, 1951-61 (dbl CD)
WOLFF, CHRISTIAN: Early Piano Music, 1951-61 (dbl CD)
John Tilbury and Christian Wolff , pianos. Eddie Prevost, percussion. Beautifully played. Minimal, spacious, quiet, but you have to like this suspenseful, dry form. An important release for those interested in this period and the Cage, Wolff, Feldman, Brown, Tudor �New York School'. Excellent sleeve notes by Michael Parsons.
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Public hearing on casino now set for April 23; James B. Marshall Elementary School location of discussion
The date is now definite for a public hearing regarding a proposed casino plan that has been presented by the Little Traverse Bay Band of Odawa Indians.
The Mackinaw City Village Council will hear public comment at 7 p.m. on April 23, Village President Jeff Hingston has confirmed. The hearing will be held in the multi-purpose room at James B. Marshall Elementary School, 609 W. Central Ave.
Earlier, a tentative date of April 11 was considered, pending any scheduling conflict at the school. That date didn't work out, so the hearing is on for April 23.
"The April 23 date is for sure," Jeff Hingston said Wednesday. "I'm sure there will be citizens there to express their opinions on both sides of the issue."
Hingston again emphasized that the Council will not vote on the casino matter at the hearing.
"We will listen to what they have to say and then take that back to a Council meeting where we will make our decision,"Hingston said.
The $26 million casino would operate as a secondary casino to the tribe's Petoskey location with only slot machine gaming and a small deli operational by a planned opening in 2014. As many as 100 construction jobs have been projected to complete the project with 80 new jobs expected to be created for casino workers.
The location of the proposed casino is on tribal trust lands just south of Mackinaw City on South Nicolet Street, beginning at property formerly known as the Kings Inn Motel.
In September 2003 the Mackinaw City Village Council rejected a previously proposed casino on a 6-1 vote.


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Hornets fall short in final
By Ed firstname.lastname@example.com — The offense took too long to come around for the Hillsdale High School girls basketball team.A fourth quarter rally fell short and the Hornets saw their season come to an end with a 46-32 loss to the Adrian Madison Trojans in the Class C district final Friday at Jonesville High School.Hillsdale (13-10) finished with the exact same record it finished with a year ago, but was stopped in the finals after winning district titles the previous two seasons. Madison (19-2) advanced to next week's regional tournament at Hudson.Trailing by 24 early in the fourth quarter, the Hornets made a run to get back within striking distance. Ten straight points by All-State nominee Hayley Maystead pulled Hillsdale to within 42-29 midway through the quarter, but the Trojans regrouped and shut down the Hornets after that."I'm proud of the girls and they hung in until the end and made it close," Hillsdale coach Nick Langston said. "We graduated a lot of players from last year, and this group did what was expected of them this season and I'm proud of that. I thank the seniors for bringing along our younger players, and this was a great group."For three quarter, the Hornets struggled to get into a rhythm offensively and ran into turnover trouble against the quick Trojans. But after being held to 16 points entering the fourth, Hillsdale outscored Madison 16-8 in the final frame."Hillsdale played a great game and never quit, and we had to weather the storm at the end," Madison coach Rick McNeil said. "Defense is our number one priority, and the girls did a good job stepping into the gaps and moving to the ball."Madison opened the game on an 18-2 run in the first 10 minutes, holding Hillsdale to two Maystead free throws in the process. Back-to-back 3-pointer by Ashley Morris and Kendall Hudson in the first minute of the second quarter made it 18-2.The Hornets fought back. Kim Sanderson hit a jumper to stop the Trojans' run, then a jumper by Sarah Maple and two more free throws by Maystead brought Hillsdale to within 20-8.Turnovers continued to hurt the Hornets in the closing minutes of the half, and an inside basket and free throws by Morris lifted the Trojans into a 24-8 lead by the intermission."Madison is a smart team and they don't turn the ball over," Langston said. "We knew they were going to try to hurry us and they did that. The difference tonight is they made shots against our zone."Madison extended its lead in the third quarter, then Ashley Bussing's driving shot early in the fourth made it 40-16.Maystead led the Hornets' late charge despite playing with four fouls. She buried three quick missiles and hit a layup, making it 42-27. Midway through the quarter, she drew a foul and hit both free throws, bringing Hillsdale to within 13."Hayley is a great kid and she's got a great future ahead of her," Langston said. "She changed the face of girls basketball in Hillsdale."Maystead fouled out with just under three minutes remaining. Jamee Thompson hit a 3-pointer with 2:17 left, making it 44-32, but Madison's defense kept the Hornets off the board down the stretch.Maystead had 19 points in her final prep game for Hillsdale. Thompson added nine points, while Maple and Sanderson both scored two points.Morris finished with 14 points to lead the Trojans. Shayla Villarreal added nine points, while Haley Hudson scored six points. Bussing had five points and Brittany Kelly finished with four points.


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John Long: Slaying Giants
Cast by chance into the frenzy of a dramatic Yosemite rescue, the author confronts his youthful fears head-on.
This article appeared in Rock and Ice issue 125 (June 2003).
Looking back on all the crazy, dreary and magnificent days I spent in Yosemite, I'm amazed how certain events, some loud, others discreet, could launch me in unexpected directions. Throughout it all, some nameless anxiety pressed me to try and reinvent myself every summer—a no-win game of diminishing returns once I became fluent per all things Yosemite. When my learning curve flattened after a decade, Yosemite and I were done with each other. Leaving was easy. Getting started, however, almost never happened but for a glum May afternoon during my first summer in the Valley.
I was an 18-year-old wannabe hardman in the early 1970s and had lived in Camp 4 less than a week. Bleak shadows stole over the valley. An hour before found me storming up 300-foot Arch Rock and sweating in a T-shirt. Now, I sat dead still with my arms wrapped around my torso. I was more than simply cold. The towering walls had lost their sunny grandeur and seemed to sneer down at me with hostile intentions.
I glanced down valley at Half Dome, veiled in ancient shade, then panned right to Sentinel, soaring off the terraced approach slabs like a prodigious black tombstone. I shuddered. Would I ever get up those walls? Did I really want to? Everything inside and outside of me felt huge and overwhelming, and nothing in my experience tempered the moment with proportion. For months I'd thought about little more than finally getting right here, in the presence of the giants. But in all the dozen books I'd read about Yosemite, no one had ever come clean about how this paradise could seem so menacing.
I'd bolted for Yosemite the second school let out, and naturally, I'd run my mouth off about all my big plans. Now the bluster had calved away and I could actually see where those plans would take me. For a long while I sat on top of Columbia Boulder, in an edgy daze, wondering which option I might survive: slinking out of the Valley some lonely night and living with shattered aspirations, or packing the haul bag, jumping onto the vertical unknown and fighting the beast of my own doubts. I could have gone either way, when a "Hey, John," startled me back to the present. It was my cousin, Roger Rudolph, then the head backcountry ranger, and allied with the budding Search and Rescue Team.
I scrambled down and Roger gushed out a mouthful: an accident on the East Buttress of Middle Cathedral, two pitches below the summit; a leader fall and a head injury. A helicopter was en route to ferry the Valley czars Jim Bridwell and Mark Klemons to the top of Middle to conduct a rescue.
In case that plan did not work, the Park Service needed another team to trudge to the top of Middle, schlepping a green backpack that was currently
occupying several acres around Roger's feet. If the Bridwell/Klemons team hadn't set down by the time we gained the top, I'd rap to the victim and
… well, we'd have to flesh out the plan from there. "You handle that?" Roger asked. Roger was about 15 years older than me and a mentor who had skied 100 miles across Tioga Pass in winter, carted injured hikers out of the backcountry on his back, and ran a government department with 40 men. By sheer happenstance he now needed me to pony up.
"I'm in," I said.
"Meet me back here in five," Roger said. I dashed for Camp 4's rescue site, urgent to find someone who could handle the job. Luckily I found Englishman Ben Campbell-Kelly lounging around camp, recovering from an early ascent of the North American Wall with his countryman Bryan Wyvill. I explained the situation, and that I needed him along, and Ben said, "Let's go, man."
Roger, Ben and I manhandled the pack into Roger's squad car and a few minutes later he dropped us at the roadside below Middle Cathedral. "You'll have to bust ass, boys," said Roger. "You got about three hours of daylight." I shouldered the pack and staggered up through the pines toward the gully
left of Middle. I couldn't have had a better man alongside me than Ben Campbell-Kelly, a proven veteran of these walls; he was as solid as Solomon.
Shortly we entered a steep labyrinth of dead-end trails, teetering minarets and low-angled choss corridors. We hadn't a clue about a proper path and never found one. For two hours we flailed and cursed our way up that gully, sometimes hand-carrying the pack and shoving it through a pinch when we couldn't wiggle through with it on our backs. We could more easily have dragged a grand piano up Rixon's Chimney. About halfway up we heard a copter circling above, and Ben and I wondered if we weren't killing ourselves for nothing.
When we finally busted out onto the shoulder beneath Middle's shapeless summit, Ben claimed he'd burned more gas and lost more hide grappling up that damned gully than he had climbing El Capitan. I shouldered the pig, and with Ben shoving from behind, we trudged up grainy slabs toward the top. Only the crown of El Capitan shimmered in light. We had maybe an hour before night fell like a curtain.
We soon met a team who'd just topped out on the East Buttress. In their late 20s, both wore colorful, long-sleeved rugby shirts and thin, white navy pants, the formal costume of the '70s Yosemite climber. I wondered about these guys' lives, and their fantastically lucrative jobs that allowed them to have just fixed two brand-new ropes above the injured climber, before dashing back to San Fran for work and family. They'd fetch their ropes
later, or never.
Gusting winds had kept the copter from landing on the summit, said the climbers, scrubbing the Bridwell/Klemons rescue effort. I confirmed as much with Roger, over the radio. We thanked the two climbers and moved over to the fixed lines. I clipped in and started down, battling not to get pulled over backward by the pack.
Ben shouldered the pig for the last rap and we touched down on a lower-angled, terraced recess by a big pine tree burgeoning from the wall. The injured climber—I never learned his name—lay curled in a fetal knot on a sloping ledge scarcely bigger than his body.
His partner, Peter Barton, sitting dejectedly on a shelf 10 feet below, had tied the victim taut to a cluster of pegs. Ben and I rigged a line off the
victim's anchor and moved to a tapering ledge 10 feet lower. According to Peter, the victim had taken a tumbling fall and banged the back of his head.
Though partially responsive at first, he hadn't moved in two or three hours.
I asked Ben what he knew about first aid and he said, "Nothing." Since I was the son of a doctor, Ben reckoned I'd absorbed essential medical know-how by association, and suggested I paddle up to the victim and play doctor.
The victim's breathing seemed smooth, though hurried. He mumbled now and then but couldn't answer any questions. On the back of his head the hair was raked off in one spot, but no shocking dent or gash. As to how this guy looked, or even his age, I can't say. I think we unconsciously experience accident victims as non-persons, that we resist seeing them deeply or personally lest we project ourselves in their boots. Had the victim looked at me, or said something instead of just lying inert, I might remember his eyes, or his face. But it's all a blank.
I reported the victim's condition to Roger, over the radio, and he said to pack the guy into a sleeping bag—there was one inside the giant pack—and to watch his airway. It took all three of us to wheedle the victim into the bag. I felt useless, knowing this guy needed assistance we couldn't hope to provide. Roger said there wasn't much more to do, and to just settle in for the night. Back at park headquarters, Bridwell and two rescue rangers were devising a strategy for tomorrow. Pray the victim somehow holds on. Over and out.
Ben and I rapped to the lower ledge and sat back. The slab dropped below for 20 or so feet, then the wall steepened and plunged out of sight. Peering off that perch, I hunkered down for my first bivouac on a rock wall.
We dug into the pack and found a headlamp, several gallons of water, a 12-pack of lemonade mix, a wall rack, a lead rope, a great mass of pulleys and bewildering rescue tackle, a frightening 12-inch knife, two balaclavas, a second radio, several packs of batteries, a first-aid kit that folded out like an accordion, a shovel, a compass, two ensolite pads, and 20 other items I can't remember—but not so much as a breadstick for grub.
"Whoever packed this thing should be flogged," Ben said. "We're buggered." Thankfully we had a couple packs of smokes between us and we lit up, gazing into the gloom.
Far below, the earth seemed to open up, then night crawled out and swallowed the wall and the world.
Ben, 30, had a rowdy head of red hair and an elegant sideburn-goatee constellation befitting the British academic he was in the private world. His calm, rational manner was a balm to my willies which, after an hour in pitch darkness, were once more rearing up and stampeding over my resolve. To divert myself I pried Ben about his many adventures on big walls in Norway, the Alps and of course most recently the great El Capitan. His comments were so understated I came to believe that sitting there on that tiny ledge in my flimsy white navy pants and a T-shirt was no big deal after all. I admired myself for throwing in with the Yosemite hardmen and, around midnight, figured I was nearly one myself. Then it got very cold, and the victim started wailing in tongues. Peter asked what the hell we were going to do, and things went south from there.
Ben and I took turns making sure the man didn't swallow his tongue or do something worse. The guy bit our fingers down to the wood, and sometimes his arms flailed and his legs churned inside the bag. We couldn't have been less helpful.
Around dawn, the victim quieted, and might have died for all we knew. The notion frightened me so I hand-walked up the slab and found him still alive, but apparently in a coma. We couldn't do a thing. I returned to the ledge and shimmied my legs into the big pack for warmth. I never knew a person could feel so wasted. Then Roger cut in over the radio. A copter was blading in from Livermore Air Force base to attempt an "extraction."
Say what?
Bridwell had reckoned that at our present location, the wall was sufficiently low-angled to allow a copter to hover some hundreds of feet above, and lower a litter down on a cable winch.
"That should be pretty good theater!" said Ben. And we'd be seeing it momentarily, as the percussive thumping of copter blades started echoing up the Valley.
"Will you look at that bugger!" Ben yelled, gazing skyward. Whatever copter I had envisioned, it certainly wasn't the monstrosity hoving to several hundred feet above. Big as a Greyhound bus, it resembled something out of Star Wars. Two enormous blades produced a pulsing thunder that rattled our
bones and shot down a shaft of prop wash that swirled every pine needle and bit of turf into a choking tornado. I thrust my head into the big pack
and when I pulled it back out, the surrounding area looked as if it had been scrubbed with a wire brush. A soldier stepped from the open cargo bay door of the copter and lowered down on a cable, like a dummy on a string. He sat on a "chaparral Leveler," a bullet-shaped cylinder the size of a fire hydrant with two fold-down metal flaps on the bottom. Later someone said they used to swoop the Leveler through "hot zones" during the Viet Nam campaign, and would pluck out of the fire anyone who could mount the Leveler at speed.
The giant Sikorsky "Hercules" stayed glued in the sky and the soldier slowly descended perhaps 175 feet until finally touching down on the slab about 10 feet below our ledge. Whoever piloted the ship was a dead-eye who basically delivered the soldier in our laps. With his huge helmet and smoky visor, plus the dashing Air Force jumpsuit, the soldier resembled Flash Gordon. The moment Flash stepped off the chaparral Leveler he was unroped, 1,600 feet off the deck. His mountaineering boots skedaddled on the slab as his hands pawed for a hold, and we knew right off Flash Gordon was no climber.
Ben quickly anchored off a loop of rope, handwalked down and clipped in Flash, who pulled up his smoky visor, exposing the face of a 15-year-old boy, which he compensated for by screaming out his orders. The plan sounded basic and, surprisingly, went off without a hitch. The copter lowered down a litter and we loaded up and lashed down the victim, who was winched straight into the hovering ship.
"OK," said Flash, staring at the ship still hanging directly overhead. "Who's going with me?"
"How's that, mate?" Ben asked. We'd figured Flash would jug out on the fixed lines with Ben, Peter and me.
"I'm going out on the Leveler," said Flash. "And it gets squirrelly with one man. I need another guy to balance the load."
"I'll go," I said without thinking.
"Good man," Ben replied. He'd climb El Cap in a snowstorm but he wasn't daft enough to volunteer to get winched off a Yosemite wall on a guitar string. I wasn't courageous, I'd just opened up my trap and blurted.
The next 15 minutes passed in a blur. I remember just before sitting onto the Leveler that Flash Gordon said not to worry and to simply hold on tight.
We sat, face-to-face, on two metal flaps barely larger than my hand. This set us up like two guys bear-hugging with a flagpole between them. There
were no straps or tie-ins at all.
Suddenly the cable came taut and my stomach fell into my boots as we were pulled off the wall and into mid-air. After 10 feet we started yawing side to
side and the copter motored out away from the wall, initiating a harrowing pendulum. Lest we smacked the face, the pilot had no choice but to sweep
even farther out into open space, away from the wall, which set us swinging in wild horizontal arcs. Only vaguely could I feel the winch pulling us up as we sliced through the air like trapeze artists hitched to the moon. I remember flashing on a saucy French tourist girl I'd met in the cafeteria,
and how she'd probably have to spend the rest of her life without me now. With nothing more to lose, I enjoyed the indescribable view as best I could.
About 15 feet from the cargo door, right when we stopped swinging, we began spinning, faster and faster. In 30 seconds I felt so dizzy I thought I might pass out and pitch off. Then they shut off the winch and we dropped a few horrible feet and wrenched to a stop. I glanced up and saw a flurry of airmen fiddling around the winch, which started back up with a lurch and then stopped again, with Flash and me dangling about waist-level with the open cargo bay door. Flash was nearest the ship, and one of the airman reached down and yanked him on board. This instantly rocked the Leveler out of balance and I nearly fell off. For a moment the airmen, with curious blank looks on their faces, stared down at me dangling in space. Then Bridwell appeared from somewhere, grabbed a strut on the door and reached down his hand — and his was the Hand of God if ever I saw it. We locked arms; the Bird yanked and I shot off the flap and belly flopped into the bay. The Bird, who'd been spotting for the pilot, gave a thumbs up and the big ship banked and headed for El Cap Meadow.
Several medics huddled over the victim. His vital signs checked out and they figured his chances were good (I later learned he did survive, following several operations to relieve pressure on his brainpan), which amazed and relieved me. Several minutes later the big ship touched down. In a 50-yard radius the tall grass in Yosemite Meadow was pummeled flush as the pitch on a putting green. Bridwell and I jumped out and the ship thumped off for the trauma unit in Fresno.
Roger rushed up and started laughing and smacking me. I'd expected an official reception, or at any rate a swelling tourist mob. But it was barely seven in the morning and the three of us found ourselves alone in the middle of the meadow. In a few short minutes, everything went still and quiet. It seemed as if nothing had ever happened. But something had. In the midst of a firestorm of personal doubts, circumstances had conspired to knit me into the very fabric of Yosemite life — with the Park Service, the rescue team, the climbers of the day and the great walls that remained our hope and our passion. From that moment on I accepted doubt and fear as the lot of every Yosemite climber, and never again did I question where I should play out my youth.
A few summers later I fell in with Peter Barton, the partner of the victim on the Middle Cathedral rescue. We teamed up for several significant climbs,
including the first ascent of Stoner's Highway, also on Middle. Peter shone on the many run-out slab leads. A year later, while ferrying loads up to the West Face of El Capitan, Peter lost his footing on a steep bit and suffered a tumbling fall that proved fatal. A helicopter flew in from Livermore to recover Peter's body. Over the steep moraine below the West Face, the copter experienced mechanical problems and ditched in the boulders, the crew barely escaping when the ship burst into flames.
I haven't seen Ben since the rescue on Middle. I trust he's doing well.
Longtime Rock and Ice contributor John Long, one of the original Stonemasters, is perhaps best known for his first free ascent of Astroman and first one day ascent of the Nose of El Capitan. He is the author or editor of over 30 books and the recipient of the American Alpine Club Literary Award
Also read John Long: The Only Rule That Counts


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MKR Tactical Solutions LLC, is a Veteran owned business that carries high end firearms, tactical gear, parts, and equipment that you won't find anywhere else. My goal is to provide you with best possible experience in a comfortable and safe environment. Regardless of your background with firearms, I will ensure you leave feeling educated, comfortable and happy with your purchase! Stop by and check us out!


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Forest Charm Curtain
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Minted's unique designs sourced from a global community of independent artists are now available on curtains. All of our curtains use luxury, natural fabrics printed in the United States and are custom manufactured for you. Please note that all fabric is printed to order and color variations may occur between different orders. When purchasing multiple curtain panels, we recommend keeping to the same fabric type as color may also vary.
• 4.5" rod pocket with a deep 4.5" seam for a refined, crisp finish.
• Sold as individual panels.
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Due to the fact that our home decor products are made to order for you, they will require 4 weeks to reach you, including production and shipping time.
Curtains are available in 50"x63", 50"x84", 50"x96", 50"x108", 50"x120", and 50"x132".
Care instructions:
Machine wash warm, tumble dry low & hot steam iron or low iron on reverse side.
While there are a variety of printing techniques for different fabric types, we always strive to manage and test our fabrics to ensure that they hold up with washing and normal wear. Due to the nature of on-demand printing & the natural characteristics of our fabrics, you may see very slight variations from run to run.
Forest, Animals, forest animals, deer, bear, owl, bird, rustic, hand drawn, child's room, fabric


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Brian Duggan | National 4Wd Ctr
Online listing for National 4Wd Ctr (Automobile Repairing & Service) located in 803 46 Ave SE, Calgary, T2G 2A5, AB, Canada. If you have questions or want to know prices, offers, discounts for automobile repairing & service in Calgary, AB, feel free to contact us at (403) 214-2145 or visit our office.
Listing Details
National 4Wd Ctr
Automobile Repairing & Service
(403) 214-2124
$1 to 2.5 million
5 to 9
Brian Duggan
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Export 9 results:
Filters: Author is El-Sayed, Mostafa A [Clear All Filters]
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Small is different: Shape-, size-, and composition-dependent properties of some colloidal semiconductor nanocrystals. Accounts of Chemical Research. 2004 ;37:326-333..
On the molecular origin of the protein catalysis of the primary process in bacteriorhodopsin photosynthesis: Retinal photoisomerization. Pure and Applied Chemistry. 1997 ;69:749-754..
Chemistry curricula in the future. Chemical & Engineering News. 2005 ;83:6-6..
Ultrafast Processes in Chemistry and Photobiology. Blackwell Science; 1995..
Preparation of Cubic Pt Nanoparticles deposited on Alumina and their Application to Propene Hydrogenation. Chemcatchem. 2010 ;2:268-271..
On the molecular mechanisms of the rapid and slow solar-to-electric energy storage processes by the other natural photosynthetic system, bacteriorhodopsin. Pure and applied chemistry. 1995 ;67:149-149..