text:
Instagram, Twitter Spar for Your Photos
The battle lines are sharpening between Facebook and Twitter, as they fight to become the prime hub for photo sharing on the Internet, Evelyn Rusli joins digits to discuss. Photo: Instagram.com/ElvaRamirez
This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.
... I ... well ... what what going head to head of the pages will tell you about that ... welcome back to Digits at the beest live I'm Simon console that has an Answer grandfather broccoli Paul vignette ... and so Graham itself was coined in Internet opt for all of the new terms assessments photo sharing service ... they've issued this statements so actually I get together on this to clarify the situation maybe it's a backing down from last on Instagram ... was created to become a business appetite is one of many ways the answer to become a sell Sena does this but not the only one ... on a continued stream uses owner of the continent is around does not claim any ownership rights over your photos nothing has changed about the control ... oh you have a open to concede your fathers and that was part of the wineries that some all ... of the muses all been stuck around were feeling and expressing all over the web ... Evelyn Rusli all the Wall Street John joins us now from sentences go to tells more about this and also ... how it stacks up with a twist a and ... and and Facebook since and am really going at that level and thanks for joining us ... thank you for having me so quite quite a firestorm aam maybe still mistake about it than us but tell us more about this war ... and the other day another kind is the outrage sale ... on the international probably SA when they're on Twitter they spent ... a lot and users complaining about how Instagram is changing in terms of service which as you mentioned ... aam Kevin sister and then the founder been second-half to come out and said he was going to alter the terms of service once again ... to make sure his explode said ... that the service was not to be selling your fat as ... advertisers with something to be taking ... your produce and putting them into halves which was what is the many issues that our users have brought up from ... now ... as as it's Obama's them ... for like Facebook and then as your sweat of that that that the friction between posts to come is gonna get bigger isn't it tells about how ... they got the acting it out with the same goal is ... the finale of the rivalry between Twitter and Facebook ... has only he didn't really in the last few months ever since Facebook decided to buy Instagram now ... now as we know Twitter also had an interest in purchasing the photo sharing service so once their rival had picked it up and is is clear that the battle lines were drawn there will be seen in the last few weeks is that ... both sides of taking ... a harder stance words competing against each other for example Twitter and now has ... its own filters they're very Instagram Lake times the users now have to kind of she is between ... me do I wanna spend my dentist a get what Aaron Hughes those filters ... or maybe I should be using Instagram since making users choose more ... on top of that Instagram just a few weeks earlier ... Adelson decided to take away the preview cards that work I didn't when Ursula for their food is to be essentially surfaced in and served rare treat wet and ... and now it's it's very separate and it shows that ... they're only becoming more competitive especially ... as Instagram rolls out more ads on mobile which is of course an area that Twitter houses succeeding as well that that absolutely forecast is exceeded only that the use of thing is to make their pay to be very very close to the daily news is it's about seven point three million active daily uses twenty six one eight some ... of you know ... broadly speaking both around seven million I look of the growth of the growth has been ... on quite fun all model hits the ground will be coming from ... Apple was out of nowhere and that night that slutty some passing of what sport said that he had it so ... that this is just to make a call from all that is the womb but to photo sharing businesses ... the meetup ... I guess I when I mean I personally I don't really need shale can ... either use and can decide you know where to be sending the semi financier ... and the user actually use path for some more personnel that as ... an enemy B and C Randall for more general Fed as ... aam but I've also been experimenting with Twitter a little bit so ... I think the users will have come to this plane were there ... any live where do I wanna be using those the servicing really building a following ... and making sure that most my content is going through acts lazy channel ... because at some point uni you have to decide it ... begins very difficult to come age of all these different services at once that it is interesting you may remember back a few years of maybe one that the led lights on the sides of this isn't really where you loads and loads and loads ... and then they also did our consolidated ... maybe that's what's gonna happen and what it what you think ... yes that's a possibility right I mean how many filters county services ... he really need to kind of the failure your photo sharing mean fell I the the very interesting and as I mentioned that this number is ... on the recently from comScore about ... the daily act is is really key indicator shows how the since Airbus is ... a really competing in the DVD basis now player still has ... far more registered user is then Instagram ... but at the same time when you see how active their users are in a DVD of a says ... they're in there is cause ... for concern on not sweaters hardest if ... you know how they should be thinking about competing with Instagram beacon is taking up so much Mindshare ... on mobile ... now the other thing is the cost of the Instagram has a nice that behemoth on a visit behemoth now Facebook ... backing it may announce that it's adding that his tremendous might conflict with the beast dad ... I mean that's coming in today who would do well ... if the stock should also be scared of sweater I think that we're still kind of waiting to see Inala ... Kahlua eventually the dust will settle here and it's what our son had a lot of cash ... and the bank and they're starting to ramp up on on mobile ads then I think there is advertisers he may say that Twitter is more effective than Facebook on mobile and really kind of depends I've heard from ... both sides here so ... I think oranges in half to wait and see how this all plays out but Mobile is then the arena for battle these days ... there will weasel save thank


text: Our program is devoted to the perpetuation and improvement of the all-purpose Labrador Retriever. We breed handsome, high performance puppies who are sound in body, have excellent temperament, keen intelligence and enthusiastic willingness to work. A breeding blend reflecting show champion pedigrees and working titles produces our fine Labradors. Chocolate is our specialty!

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Experience, Knowledge and Professionalism to bring great Health Care Services.
21312 Provincial Blvd. Katy, Texas 77450
Contact Phone : (281) 599-8345
Welcome to our medical practice in Katy, Texas, We provide medical services for primary care and Diabetes care in Katy for the entire family from 14 years and above. We also provide care for minor Emergencies, Physical Exams and dermatological conditions.


text:
Breaking: Ex-Cop Dorner in Shootout at Big Bear Lake
KTLA 5 in Los Angeles is reporting that ex-cop Christopher Dorner has been involved in a shootout with police in Big Bear. One or two police officers have been reported wounded; the situation is rapidly developing…
BIG BEAR, Calif. — Christopher Dorner was engaged in a shootout with federal authorities in the Big Bear area Tuesday, a law enforcement source told The Times.
The shooting occurred after Dorner burglarized a home, tied up a couple and stole their car, the source said.
It was not immediately clear whether Dorner was in custody.
A second source said there was an active crime scene but did not have details.
Law enforcement officials were swarming the area.
Police have confirmed that Dorner is holed up in the cabin at lower right of the image above. Two policemen have been shot and medevac'ed out.
LA Times saying #Dorner broke into a cabin "days ago" & held couple hostage until this morning. Then tried to find daylight.
LAT: Owner of cabin where Dorner is barricaded says cabin should be empty, without cable, phone or Internet service latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2013/02/…
— Jon Passantino (@passantino) February 12, 2013
Media reporting 1 deputy shot in SB during #Dorner shootout has died. Other is critical. Standoff = ongoing.


text:
For Wireless Broadband Internet in Amherst CO Choose Blue Fire Broadband
Blue Fire Broadband provides the best wireless broadband Internet in Amherst Colorado period. Two unique types of Internet service allow Blue Fire Broadband to open the online universe to the entire nation, regardless of their location.
Everyone should be able to enjoy reliable Internet service. The only thing Blue Fire Broadband service customers need before signing up for satellite Internet is an unobstructed aerial view. For wireless broadband Internet, they simply need access to electricity. This simplicity makes Blue Fire Broadband perfect for mobile offices or individuals who are constantly on the move.
Call 1-866-653-5053 to learn how Blue Fire Broadband service can place your home or business on the information highway
Blue Fire Broadband Service Breakdown
- Satellite
- Wifi
Every customer has unique needs. Blue Fire Broadband offers two types of Internet service for consistent connectivity anywhere. Depending on your location and your usage requirements, knowledgeable associates can assist you with choosing one of the following services.
Blue Fire Broadband satellite Internet has industry required data caps, but at a generous 25 gigabytes (GB) per month for users between the hours of 5 AM and 12 midnight, with unlimited use from midnight until 5 AM. Ranked as one of the fastest and most reliable services available, one account delivers Internet connectivity to multiple devices in your home for a low monthly fee.
Blue Fire Broadband wireless Internet offers maximum flexibility in the form of a plug and play device that is portable, eliminating the need for complex installation procedures. Customers enjoy higher data limits and the option of unlimited use from any locale with electricity. Designed to deliver optimal connectivity to remote vacation homes, RVs, boats and practically any location, the device provides you with your own secure Internet connection that goes where you go and even facilitates online game play.
Trust the Best Wireless Broadband Internet in Amherst,Colorado
High-speed Internet from Blue Fire Broadband provides customers with more than just a reliable connection. Clients also enjoy benefits like these.
- Fast video streaming delivers instant access to sites like YouTube and Hulu.
- Users can download everything from movies to professional documents.
- Photo sharing allows users to keep in touch with distant friends and family.
- Web pages and email messages load quickly for hassle-free review.
- Accessing video chat sites like Skype keeps phone bills low.
- 24-hour customer service immediately handles user concerns.
- Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) digital telephone service is attainable with Blue Fire Broadband.
- Brandon, NE - 69140
- Roscoe, NE - 69153
- Haxtun, CO - 80731
- Holyoke, CO - 80734
- Julesburg, CO - 80737
- Ovid, CO - 80744
- Paoli, CO - 80746
- Sedgwick, CO - 80749
- Big Springs, NE - 69122
- Brule, NE - 69127
- Champion, NE - 69023
- Chappell, NE - 69129
- Grant, NE - 69140
- Imperial, NE - 69033
- Lamar, NE - 69023
- Ogallala, NE - 69153
- Venango, NE - 69168


text: News & Events / News print News View All Faculty Alumni Students General RSS Feeds YEAR 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 « Back 04.02.13 Online Scholarly Journal Practicum Launches at Brooklyn Law School Brooklyn Law School is pleased to announce the launch of Practicum, an online scholarly journal. Serving as an online companion to the Law School's four scholarly print journals, Practicum will continue the Law School's tradition of excellence in scholarly research and writing in its academic journals. "Practicum is a welcome addition to the Law School's family of highly-regarded print journals," said Dean Nick Allard. "This journal will stand as a bridge between traditional print scholarship and evolving new technology formats presented for critical thinking about legal developments by both scholars and practitioners." Created by a dedicated group of students from the Brooklyn Law Review, Brooklyn Journal of International Law, Journal of Law and Policy, and Brooklyn Journal of Corporate, Financial & Commercial Law, Practicum will publish scholarship on timely issues in an accessible forum on the web and provide an outlet for alumni, practitioners and students to reflect on news, issues, and developments in the law and legal theory. Practicum seeks pieces that are significantly shorter than the articles in traditional Law School print journals, but the submissions are still subject to the same thorough editing process as in print journals. "The editing process assures that Practicum maintains rigorous academic standards while still allowing for more colloquial, practitioner-oriented content and a more rapid production schedule appropriate to the web medium," said Professor David Reiss, faculty advisor for Practicum. Read more about Practicum. Email this article Share Read the latest issue of Brooklyn Law Notes


text:
Clerk Services
The Clerk's Department is responsible for carrying out all communications on behalf of the Mayor and Municipal council, including preparation of Meeting Agendas, recording and archiving Minutes of all meetings as well as the maintenance and update of all Municipal By-laws. In addition, the Clerk's Department oversees licensing, including marriages and lotteries and issues Burial permits. The Clerk's Department is also responsible for Municipal Drains and Cemeteries. The Municipal Clerk is assisted by a Deputy Clerk and an Assistant Clerk Rural.
Melanie Ducharme, Municipal Clerk / Planner
(705) 753-2250, ext 6926
Janice Dupuis, Deputy Clerk
(705) 753-2250, ext 6907


text:
November's edition of the PRB's live magazine is co-curated by poet/geographer Diane Ward, and takes on the theme of flow: data flows, population flows, atmospheric flows, pipelines, conduits, and all that channels and disrupts them.
This one brings you two packed hours of film, talk, poetry, music and performance – six contributors in all:
- Nerve Macaspac, cellphone films
- Courtney Stephens, a talk on control centers
- Gwen Muren, poems from Glitch
- Michael Webster, Fade on Family, an opera w/o voice
- Diane Ward, performance for three voices
- Peter Bo Rappmund, from Psychohydrography
Doors open at 1pm. Event 1:30 sharp.


text:
A few days ago a group on base (I forget who) collected and donated gently used shoes to Noda--a town to the south.
At the elementary school, someone designed a t-shirt to sell to raise funds for Sendai.
Next week, the kids will also be working on folding
Paper Cranes for Japan.
The Bezos Family foundation will donate money for every paper crane they receive. Max and Sam's school has set a goal to make 1,000. I'm trying to work it into an evening Relief Society activity so we can make some too. (Though I confess, my origami skills are lacking...hopefully I can manage a crane!)
This is one you can help with too!!! (Click the link for details!)
I plan to buy this print from Etsy when I have the budget for it. And there are a million other things listed on Etsy under "Handmade for Japan" that raise money for relief efforts too. Check it out.
And don't forget: Operation Backpack!
We'll be taking the boys to the 100 Yen Store (Daiso) to buy supplies tomorrow.
In other news:
Even though my laundry looks like this right now...
|Hey, at least it's all clean!
when I heard the song "Grace" tonight, I had to stop folding immediately and make this movie.
Dear Kate Havnevik,
I'm sorry I don't have permission to use your song. May I have permission to use your song? I really love it. And if it's any consolation, I did buy it on i-Tunes!
And now, once again, I've stayed up too late. And the laundry still isn't folded.


text:
The mission of the procurement department is to acquire services, supplies, equipment, and construction at the most efficient level. The department is responsible for ensuring fair and equitable treatment of all vendors who work with the Authority. The SHA Procurement Department works diligently to accomplish the mission while complying with all applicable federal, state and local laws.
SHA provides housing assistance to families, elderly & disabled individuals through programs like Public Housing, Housing Choice Vouchers, Low Income Housing Tax Credits, HOME & Homeownership.
SHA provides easy access to information & required forms needed by program participants. Participants also have access to an array of supportive service programs designed to maximize individual potential.
The Housing Choice Voucher Program is one of the best opportunities for lower income families to obtain decent, safe, & affordable housing. Families may choose from a broad variety of housing types and locations.


text:
The Day Today
The Day Today (1994) was a surreal British parody of television current affairs programmes, created by Armando Iannucci and Chris Morris.
The Headlines tonight...[edit]
Read by Chris Morris before the opening titles each week.
- The headlines tonight:
Bottomley refreshed after three days on Cross.
Branson's clockwork dog crosses Atlantic floor.
And sacked chimney-sweep pumps boss full of mayonnaise.
(after the opening theme) Welcome‼
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- The headlines tonight:
Portillo's teeth removed to boost pound.
Exploded cardinal preaches sermon from fish tank.
And where now for man raised by puffins?
(after the opening theme) Yes‼
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994).
- The heads tonight:
Teenage boy roasts himself in sacrifice to Chris Kelly.
Heseltine fading fast.
And headmaster suspended for using big faced child as satellite dish.
This is the news!
(after the opening theme) This is the newwwws!
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- The headlines tonight:
Nato annuled after delegate swallows treaty.
"I'm so sorry" yells exploding cleaner.
And bearded cleric in oily chin insertion.
Those are the headlines… God I wish they weren't.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- The headlines tonight:
Euro MPs' new headsets play the sound of screaming women.
Bryan Ferry bathmat poisonous say lab.
And bouncing elephantiasis woman destroys central Portsmouth.
Those are the headlines. Happy now?
(after the opening theme) Hello, Sir!
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- The headlines tonight:
Fist headed man destroys church.
Car drives past window in town.
And Leicester man wins right to eat sister.
Now fact me 'til I fart!
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
Chris Morris[edit]
Chris is the host and the newsreader.
- Chris: On the Day Today tonight: David Owen emerges shattered from Oliver Reed.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Chris Morris: Hello you.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Chris Morris: I hate Sebastian Coe!
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994), Jam festival interview with Janet Breen.
- Chris Morris: And since we've recorded that report, everybody featured in it has lost their hair.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Chris Morris: The American actor Marlon Brando has been sold today in an auction at Sotheby's. Brando, who starred in films like Apocalypse Now and Superman, was part of a collection of international works of art which attracted interest from all over the world. He was sold in the large wooden chair he has occupied for the last three years to the Vatican, at just under the expected price of two and a quarter million dollars. It's believed he will be installed in St Peter's later next month.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994).
- Chris Morris: Coming up: Bosnian old woman.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994).
- Chris Morris: Today is the anniversary of 1944.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: It's been revealed that the junior treasury minister Michael Portillo carries a sawn-off shotgun to constituency meetings, corners children in parks and chews their cheeks, and has frequent sexual intercourse with stray animals, claiming "As long as it's got a backbone, I'll do it". That story we reported last week, and have since discovered it to be untrue.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: The Libyan leader Colonel Gadaffi has plunged southern Europe into crisis by kidnapping Crete and towing it to a secret location off the Libyan coast.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: Coming up: Clinton welcomed home after machine-gunning 400 buffalo.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: And Portillo's wife defends crack habit. [shot of old man saying 'It's cheap, very cheap.']
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: We're pushed for time, can you sum it up in a word?
Spartacus Mills: No.
Chris: A sound?
Mills: Woouueerrrr.
Chris: Spartacus, thank you.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: Sinn Fein have so far denied they are backing the campaign. Earlier today I spoke to their deputy leader, Rory O'Connor, who under broadcasting restrictions must inhale helium to subtract credibility from his statements.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: Since we conducted that interview, all sides in the conflict have had a meeting and have sorted everything out.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: As City markets crashed and flew off, the government tried to stabilise the economy with an emergency currency based on the Queen's eggs, several thousand of which were removed from her ovaries in 1953 and held in reserve.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: Spiders will never speak, insists ambassador.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: Still to come: Controversy over new Treasury appointment.
Man on doorstep: I'm sick to death of this. "Treasury, treasury, treasury". It's all I ever hear. I'm sick of it, I've had enough. Just all of you f--- off!
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
Speak Your Brains[edit]
This features a series of interviews with real members of the public on the street, with Chris Morris asking them various bizarre questions.
- Chris Morris: Lets see if we can nail this down. In terms of this elastic band here. Would you like to see the law tightened up to this tightness, tightness number one...
(Twangs an elastic band) >Bwing<
Chris: Tightness number two.
Chris: Or tightness number three?
Man: I think tightness number three.
Chris: Tightness number three, like this?
Man: I think we've really got to hammer these guys.
Chris: So that tightness being an average Post Office band extended over about eight inches.
Man: Yeah I think so.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994)
- Old Man: (reads card) This is my complaint, right? TV is the most un-kinking, un-happening, un-sussed piece o' sheet in the hood right now.
Chris Morris: Look at the lens please.
Old Man: Oh sorry. You gotta get it. Totally dis-counture. More in the area. See, I'm talking more ragga, more boogle, more death mental...
Chris Morris: Death metal.
Old Man: Death metal and Belgian house. You hear me? Let's get TV banging... mud the far cuss.
Chris: And look at the camera again and nod your head as you say that.
Old Man: Mud the far cuss.
Chris: And say that last bit again once more into the camera.
Old Man: Mud the far Cuss.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
Sports commentary from Alan Partridge[edit]
- Alan Partridge: You join me now in the helicopter as we look down on these cyclists, who look like cattle in a mad way—but cattle on bikes.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994), commenting on the Tour de France.
- Alan Partridge: Sven Goonsson, closely followed by his great friend and teammate Klaus Bin... and the man with the bikes on his car is... yes he's disqualified, as I said. And er, Klaus Bin wins there, riding non-handed. No need for that.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994), commenting on the Tour de France.
- Alan Partridge: Greg Louganis... Down, Double back twister, bangs his head and in. Textbook. Lovely.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994), commenting on the incident at the 1988 Olympic Games involving Greg Louganis.
- Alan Partridge: Thank goodness, actually, they're wearing gloves, because I've witnessed bare-knuckle boxing in a barn in Somerset about three years ago. And it was a sorry sight to see men goading them on in such a barbaric fashion. And I'm rather ashamed to say I was party to that goading. And two men fighting as I saw in that barn that night, naked as the day they were born, and fighting the way God intended. Wrestling at points, I don't know if you've seen "Women In Love". There's a marvellous scene by the fire. It kind of resembled that.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Alan Partridge: Two to look out for, number one there - Zeinab Badawi's Twenty Hotels, and number three, Two Headed Sex Beast.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994), tipping two racehorses.
- Alan Partridge: Not sure what that is....hope it's (chuckle) ...hope it's not a dead horse. They're not going to fit it in the back of a Volvo 340. [Beat] Actually, I hope it ISN'T a dead horse. Sorry.
- Episode 2 (26th January 1994), looking at what we assume is a dead horse.
- Alan Partridge: Twat! That was liquid football!
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994), commenting on a surprising goal in football.
- Alan Partridge: SHIT! Did you see that? He must have a foot like a traction engine!
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994), commenting on a surprising goal in football.
- Alan Partridge: Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie all over his shirt.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994), commenting on a surprising goal in football.
- Alan Partridge: (in a locker-room) The atmosphere here hangs heavy, like a big smell. The smell of men together. The smell of cats' musk. Bob Mariner, you missed the penalty. Why?
Bob Mariner: Yeah, Alan, it was a bad one. It took the top of me boot, it was all over in an instant.
Alan: You looked really stupid.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- Sylvester Stewart: A strong and highly long lasting day tomorrow, with hail aimed vertically downward from above, and there'll be a thirty percent chance.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994)
- Sylvester Stewart: Devon and Cornwall should have some fairly heavy and prolonged showers, a bit like jagged metal piercing old flesh.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994)
- Sylvester Stewart: Starting in the southeast where it should be dull and drizzly in the morning, a bit like waking up next to a corpse.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994)
- Sylvester Stewart: Let's revolve the weather collar now 70 degrees to the Midlands, where I was first bereaved. And there'll be a large cack of heavy cloud covering the area, but it should stay dry enough for you to dance outside until our lord Beelzebub calls upon us.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994)
- Sylvester Stewart: Now, if we revolve the throat circle back to the West Country, and you can see there'll be several gits of bad weather across most of the sky. Some rain, but no more severe than soft porn.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994)
Business Report[edit]
- Collaterlie Sisters: And it was a rather cow-ey night for the pound: It stood at three point seven nine against the German Bordello, that's up point five against the Portuguese Starling and down a hundred against the Bitch.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994).
- Collaterlie Sisters: From tomorrow the new Bank of England five pound note comes into circulation. The notes, which feature the head of Iggy Pop, can only be used once.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994).
- Collaterlie Sisters: There was better news for EdgeWedgeLedgeBudge, who mustered two point forty one, up eighty eight very slightly. But Oxy-Mcgee flew back a ninth, despite a creeping bid from Connected Breath Dumps, at four.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Collaterlie Sisters: On now the currency markets, how did the Pound fare? A quick glance at the currency cat... Not too well I'm afraid. There's a disconcerting 47° slope against the Dollar, Yen and Deutschmark, and if we project in four months the Pound leg is effectively amputated leading to a rogue leg with no hip constituency, at all.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Collaterlie Sisters: On now to the money markets and a quick look at the International Finance Arse. As you can see the US and Japanese cheeks started off with a gap of 2.4 but increased trading forced the two together to form a unified arse at around lunch time, which held for the rest of the day.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- Collaterlie Sisters: In summary then oh no. Chris.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- Rosie May: Scientists in Alaska have found a gap between the horizon and the Earth. The gap, which is nine miles across, is believed to have been caused by recent storms which tore the horizon from its moorings. A team of civil engineers have set off to lash the horizon down with steel.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Rosie May: The echo from the nuclear bomb that destroyed Hiroshima is set to devastate the city again. Half of the original blast has ricocheted off Jupiter, and will strike Japan in 2041. It's not yet known if the city will be evacuated.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- Rosie May: An international ban on the hunting of waves has finally been introduced. Waves have been used for centuries to pull cars in small countries, but are now facing extinction.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Rosie May: My milk is green, come drink me.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Rosie May: Tread not on the forest leaves, for you tread on my face.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot[edit]
M. Livarot is a parody of a typical French postmodernist philosopher. He provides 'profound' philosophical commentary on the state of the world.
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: A novel is a tool, created by a worker, in an industry called culture.
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: If we could see politics, what would it look like? A cube... but with all its corners on the inside.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: A man sees God in his car. He crashes.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: If democracy is a bra, then the monarchy are breasts. And we cannot imagine a society without breasts. Hélas.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: An optimist sees half a pint of milk. He says 'It is half full'. A pessimist sees half a pint of milk. He says 'It is half empty'. I see half a pint of milk, I say 'It is sour'.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: An old man stands naked in front of a mirror, eating soup. He is a fool.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: A cat meows, a horse neighs, a lion roars, a bird sings, a snake hisses, a human barks.
- Episode 5
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: What is a 'gay'?
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
- Jacque-"Jacques" Livarot: When I drive my car, I am not driving. I am participating in a conspiracy called 'traffic'. I will walk.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
Attitudes night trailer[edit]
- Voiceover: The evening begins with a chance to savour again Great Britain's last televised hanging.
Corin Piper: (fifties presenter in B/W) ...he's using a nylon hemp mix rope tonight for the first time ever. That what he wanted. That's what he's got. It's to guarantee extra strength.
Voiceover: The sixties saw television breaking taboos again and again, with Frampton Row, the first popular weekly serial to use swear words.
fuzzy B/W telerecorded clip, like early 'Coronation Street'.
Yorkshire Accented Woman: I'm not made of money 'specially not since Eddie Copsey and 'is bloomin' lids.
Newspaper seller: Oh-aye.
Woman: Go on then I'll 'ave the Express. (hands over money) There you are yer big hairy cock.
Seller: Ta.
Woman: Ta-ra Stan. (walks off)
Seller: (calls) Ta-ra yer shitter.
Cut to studio B/W videotape. The presenter is sitting with a Twiggy-esque girl leaning over his groin moving up and down.
Sixties presenter: These days it's very fashionable among young people to do what I'm doing now. I'm being fellated by a young girl known as a groupie. It's an interesting feeling, and certainly quite relaxing.
(Fade out... and back in)
Presenter: Well, it's half an hour later. My initial reaction was one of intense joy, but that's now been replaced by a feeling of indequacy and gloom. It's not an experience I can see catching on. But neither is it one which I regret.
- Attitudes Night, Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Corin Piper: I must say, it's looking in excellent condition. And yes, yes... the lights have gone out... it's a good clean drop! There's the hanging. Well done, well done. They'll be pleased with that. And to play us out we have Johnny Stoppard. Johnny, what are you going to play for us tonight?
Organist: "Fancy Lady"
Corin Piper: "Fancy Lady"? Well fancy that. This is Corin Piper bidding you goodnight. Goodnight!
- Attitudes Night, Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
Rok TV[edit]
- Harfynn Teuport: The work of he's a singer Bob Dylan is to be reappraised following the discovery of a film which shows several of his songs including the classic Subterranean Homesick Blues being sung as long ago as 1947 by the singer/songwriter George Formby.
Harfynn Teuport: Dylan, who is in hospital after eating a rotten wolf, has so far been unavailable for comment.
Ian Curtis (a skeleton swinging on a rope): Hello, Ian Curtis here, I watch Rok TV every day!
Harfynn Teuport: That's the news where it's gone, time now for Suki Bapswent with her special brand of things.
Sukie Bapswent: What-ho, I'm Sukie Bapswent!
Harfynn Teuport: Mm!
Sukie Bapswent: Uh-oh, now go 'wow' for the latest sounds from Nirvana! They've been commissioned to do the music behind the new PantySmile sanitary products campaign. Okay boys, hit me with those ultra-pads!
Kurt Cobain:
Voiceover: Panty Smile. A Comfy Pal who says Never Mind.
Once a month / You'll become a slave
To a tidal wave / Yeah
Body's little clock / Could mess up your frock
But Panty Smile's a lovely thing
It absorbs every thing
You can wear them / In the high street
Body contours / Very discreet
And the comfort / You won't be-lieve
'Cause the topsheet / Is a dryweave
Yeah. Panty / Yeah / Smile
Panty / Yeah / Smile
Panty / Yeah / Smile
Panty / Yeah / Smile
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994)
Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan[edit]
Peter is a timid and inept economics correspondent who appears on the big screen reporting from around the world. He always ends up being insulted by Chris, albeit justifiably.
- Chris Morris: A week of foul-tempered debate in Europe ended this afternoon as finance ministers agreed new quota rates for trade with the United States. In Brussels is our economics correspondent, Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan - Peter, what is the new rate?
- Peter: It's 30 percent, Chris. Agreement was a long time coming, but in the end the decision was unanimous.
- Chris: What was the Germans' reaction, because they've been holding out for 40 percent, haven't they?
- Peter: That's right. When I spoke to finance minister Reinhardt earlier today, he said he didn't like the deal, but he had to go along with it.
- Chris: Really? You spoke to him yourself, you managed to pin him down? He's a pretty tricky man, isn't he?
- Peter: That's right.
- Chris: Where did you get hold of him?
- Peter: He was in the hotel.
- Chris: And you conducted a conversation with him about the quota rates?
- Peter: That's right - he said he didn't like it, but he had to go along with it.
- Chris: What language did you conduct this conversation in, Peter?
- Peter: ...German.
- Chris: You spoke to him about the technicalities of the deal in German?
- Peter: Yes.
- Chris: So what's the German for 30 percent?
- Peter: Trenter percenter.
- Chris: Dreißig prozent?
- Peter: Yes.
- Chris: And what about that quote you attributed to him, "I don't like it but I'll have to go along with it"?
- Peter: That's what he said.
- Chris: How did he say it?
- Peter: "I don't like it, but I'll have to go along with it."
- Chris: In German, how did he say it?
- Peter: Ich nichten lichten...
- Chris: Presumably you mean "Rufen Sie ein Taxi bitte sonst verpass' ich meinen Flug"?
- Peter: Yes.
- Chris: No you don't, Peter, because that means "Get me a taxi; I'm late for my plane". Now I'm going to ask you a question - did you speak to the German finance minister about the new deal this afternoon?
- Peter: ...no.
- Chris: And what was his reaction?
- Peter: I don't know.
- Chris: Peter, thank you.
- Chris Morris: It's just been announced there's to be an special inquiry into the government's handling of the Frome shipping deal, that flew to pieces last month, over allegations of gross ministerial misconduct. Our economics correspondent Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan is with the minister for ships Michael Crane, he's just prised him out of an emergency meeting.
Peter: I'm with the minister for ships Michael Crane MP ...
Chris (in voiceover drowning out Peter): That's right Peter everything I've just said comes spewing straight back out of your stupid slab of a face.
Peter: ...Mr Crane, choppy waters for the Government?
Minister: Not at all Peter. This procedure was entirely proper, and I think the enquiry will prove that the government's handling of this matter was entirely proper.
Peter: So the government's ship, back on course?
Minister: Absolutely.
Peter: Back to you, Chris.
Chris: Peter, what the hell was that? This man's made a big scale cock-up here. You let him get away with it! Now let me speak to him. Put your ear-piece next to his head and stand still. Now minister, there's reason to believe that you lied to the House. How do you answer that?
Minister: Well this is a very serious and unfounded allegation, and I will be making a statement to the House based on the preliminary inquiry next week.
Chris: A week is a long time in politics.
Peter: Rab Butler
Chris: Shut up Peter. Now minister, did you or did you not lie to the House?
Minister: I will be making a full statement to the House next week.
Chris: It's a simple question, yes or no. Did you or did you not lie?
Minister: I, erm...
Peter: As the minister for ships sprawls on a pin, it's back to you Chris!
Chris: No it isn't Peter! He's about to answer the question! He's about to admit to lying to the House, you've let him get away again! Where's he gone?!
Peter: Over there...
Chris: Well get him back!
Peter: He's in a cab.
Chris: PETER, YOU'VE LOST THE NEWS! What are you going to say?
Peter: Sorry?
Chris: Look like you mean it! Look down at the floor and say 'sorry'.
Peter: I'm sorry.
Chris: Peter, next time you cross the road don't bother looking.
Peter: Sorry!
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: The American car company, General Motors, have today announced a cut in their workforce at their plant in Detroit. Our economics correspondent, Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan, is there at the moment. Peter, what's going on?
- Peter: Chris, it's a mass redundancy measure! It's the biggest lay-off in American industrial history! Thirty-five thousand jobs in one fell swoop, gone!
- Chris: Thirty-five thousand?
- Peter: Yes.
- Chris: Peter, there's only twenty-five thousand people at the plant.
- Peter: That's right Chris, mass redundancy on an unprecedented scale!
- Chris: Would you mind telling me how the plant can function on minus ten-thousand workers?
- Peter: [smiling] I don't know, Chris, you tell me!
- Chris: I'll tell you what, Peter, you mean thirty-five hundred workers have been sacked.
- Peter: No, thirty-five thousand, it's all here.
- Chris: Let me see what you've got down there.
- Peter: It's thirty-five hundred, you're right -
- Chris: Peter, I want to see it. I don't want to hear anything more out of your mouth, I don't believe it. Now show me your notes.
- Peter: No -
- Chris: Yes!
- Peter: It's thirty-five hundred.
- Chris: Show me, I don't believe what you're saying. I just want to see the numbers. Now hold them up! Hold them up and keep them up! And rotate them a hundred eighty degrees in my favour! Do it. Peter, what's that?
- Peter: I don't have a monitor, Chris, I can't see what you're -
- Chris: You know what I'm talking about, it's just above your right eye. [Peter points at a doodle] Yes.
- Peter: A cobweb.
- Chris: And how's a cobweb going to dig you out of your numerical mess?
- Peter: I don't know.
- Chris: Peter, you're lying in a news grave. Do you know what's written on your head stone?
- Peter: "News".
- Chris: Peter, thank you.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: The Day Today 24 live now stays with those terrorist attacks in New York and Washington, both towers now gone. Later; "What is a hijacked airliner and how does it crash?", but first our economics correspondent Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan is in New York at the moment. He went there to cover the World Trade Organization talks, due to start today at the World Trade Center. He's on the line now. Peter, where are you and what's going on?
- Peter: It's a clear, crisp morning in New York, Chris. A crackle of anticipation among the delegates at breakfast. A lot at stake here; these talks could be the big yes or no for the Eastern economist.
- Chris: Right, Peter. Can you tell us exactly what the situation is currently in New York?
- Peter: Well, the situation I'd say is eggs over easy for the Germans, eggs over not bad for the Japanese, and eggs over pretty grim for the Russians.
- Chris: So.. the meetings are going ahead?
- Peter: ...That's right, Chris.
- Chris: And where are they being held?
- Peter: Here, at the World Trade Center!
- Chris: ...You're at the World Trade Center?
- Peter: [proudly] Yes!
- Chris: Where abouts exactly in the World Trade Center are you?
- Peter: I'm - I'm in - uh... I'm in their restaurant, the Windows on the World restaurant, Chris, floor 107, sipping a cappuccino.
- Chris: Floor 107 no longer gives a particularly good view of New York.
- Peter: Well, it does from where I'm sitting, Chris.
- Chris: It's now part of the basement.
- Peter: I think you're - hahaha - pulling my leg, Chris!
- Chris: Are you near a television?
- Peter: ...Yes? I don't -
- Chris: I'd like you to turn it on.
- Peter: I'm going to a television, in the restaurant. There's one of those -
- Chris: Yes, just get on with it, please.
- Peter: Right, the television is on!
- Chris: Tell me what you can see.
- Peter: ...Well, it's - it's quite bizarre, I'm actually looking at an image of the World Trade Center. I'd... almost be looking at myself if I waved. Uh -
- Chris: What can you see?
- Peter: Well, there's a... there's a plane in one of them... yeah - actually we didn't hear that! The sound insulation in these buildings is extraordinary! There is a plane -
- Chris: Keep watching, Peter.
- Peter: Well - ah. Ah. Oh my God. Uh, one of the towers has collapsed, fortunately not the one I'm in; the one I'm in is... one of the tower - the other tower - the tower I'm in is collapsing! I'm collapsing, Chris, under the sheer... I've managed - I'm out! I'm out! Eh, I'm very for - run... I'm not there.
- Chris: Where are you?
- Peter: I'm... in a hotel in Midtown. The Marriott. My hotel, in my room.
- Chris: Why did you say you were at the World Trade Center?
- Peter: Because... that's where I was supposed to be this morning.
- Chris: You overslept.
- Peter: I'd slept longer than I'd anticipated.
- Chris: Would you like to revise your appraisal of the situation in New York in light of which you've just gleaned?
- Peter: Yes, I can, Chris.
- Chris: Go ahead.
- Peter: I'm a man, standing at a window of his hotel room. A very gray day, a very gray day for the world, Chris. Eh... it seems like a movie -
- Chris: Peter, you've added nothing. That's Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan from New York on a day which will -
- Peter: Yes -
- Chris: BE QUIET!
- "Live report from 9/11" - DVD extra
The Outbreak of War[edit]
- Chris Morris:I'm joined now by Martin Craste, the British minister with special responsibility for the Commonwealth and Gavin Hawtrey, the Australian foreign secretary in Canberra. Gentlemen, this is pretty historic stuff. Well done. So a future of unbridled harmony then, Australia?
Gavin Hawtrey:Yes I think Martin Craste and I can be pretty satisfied, it's a good day.
Chris Morris:And if, as in the past, Australia exceed their agreement what will you do about it?
Martin Craste:This is a very satisfactory treaty which I'm sure will work well, naturally if the limits were exceeded then this would be met with a very firm line but I can't see that happening.
Chris Morris:Mr. Hawtrey he's knocking a firm line in your direction. What are you going to do about that?
Gavin Hawtrey:Well in that case we'd just reimpose sanctions as we did last year...
Chris Morris:Sanctions? Hang on a second they've only just swallowed their sanctions and now they're burping them back up in your face!
Martin Craste:I think sanctions is rather premature talk, certainly if sanctions were imposed we should have to retaliate with appropriate measures, but I can't...
Chris Morris:I think 'appropriate measures' is a euphemism, Mr. Hawtrey. You know what it means. What are you going to do about that?
Gavin Hawtrey:Well I'll just have to go back to Cabinet.
Chris Morris:And ask them about what?
Gavin Hawtrey:Well I don't know, maybe it's a matter for the military or...
Chris Morris:The military?
Martin Craste:I think military measures is totally inappropriate reaction and I think this is way, way over the top.
Chris Morris:It sounds like you're being inappropriate, are you?
Gavin Hawtrey:Of course I'm not being inappropriate! Martin Craste knows that full well.
Martin Craste:This is the sort of misunderstanding that I thought we'd laid to rest during our negotiating.
Chris Morris:Misunderstanding it certainly is. It's certainly not a treaty, is it. You're both at each others' throats, you're backing yourselves up with arms, what are you going to do about it? Mr. Hawtrey, let me give you a hint. BANG!
Gavin Hawtrey:What are you asking me to say?
Chris Morris:You know damn well what I'm asking you to say! You're putting yourself in a situation of armed conflict! What are you plunging yourself into?
Gavin Hawtrey:You'd like me to say it?
Chris Morris:I want you to say it, yes.
Gavin Hawtrey:You want the word?
Chris Morris:The word!
Gavin Hawtrey:I will not flinch...
Chris Morris:You will not flinch from?
Gavin Hawtrey:War.
Chris Morris:War. Gentlemen, I'll put you on hold. If fighting did break out it would probably occur in Eastmanstown in the upper cataracts on the Australio-Hong Kong border. Our reporter Dônnnald Bethl'hem is there now. Donald - what's the atmosphere like?
Dônnnald Bethl'hem: Tension here is very high, Chris. The stretched twig of peace is at melting point. People here are literally bursting with war. This is very much a country that's going to blow up in its face.
Chris Morris: Well gentlemen, it seems that we have little option now but to declare war immediately.
Martin Craste: Well, this is quite impossible. I couldn't take such a decision without referring to my superior Chris Patten, he's in Hong Kong.
Chris Morris: Good! Because he's on the line now via satellite. Mr. Patten, what do you think of the idea of a war now?
Chris Patten: (uninterpretable nodding).
Chris Morris: I'll take that as a yes!
Martin Craste:Very well, it's war.
Gavin Hawtrey:War it is.
Dônnnald Bethl'hem:That's it, Chris. It's war! War has broken out! This is a war!
Chris Morris:That's it. Yes. It's war!
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
It's War![edit]
A spot-on parody of how TV news reacts to a war.
- Chris Morris: From now on, The Day Today will be providing the most immediate coverage of any war ever fought. On the front line and in your face, Donnaldd Bethl'hem.
Presenter in front of TV: Standing by, Douglas Hurd.
Chris: The Day Today smart bombs have nose-mounted cameras. This is smart bomb Steven, and that is Susanna Gekkaloys.
Susanna Gekkaloys: I'll be reporting from inside the fight [runs out of studio].
Chris: Like some crazy Trojan! And keeping an eye on everything that's going on out there, at The Day Today News Pipe, Douglas Trox!
(cut to a presenter holding the end of a flexible plastic pipe coming out of the wall).
Douglas: Chris!
Chris: But first the weather with Sylvester Stewart.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- Presenter at TV: Well Chris, as you can see there's the missile, cruising at around two thousand per second trying to locate the target soldier it's aimed at... [The TV image from the cruise missile shows a startled soldier] There's the soldier. It goes in through the mouth. Down through the oesophagus. Into the stomach and there's the explosion.
Chris: Absolutely bang! That's The Day Today bringing you another tear on the face of the World's mother! Alan, Sport!
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- Chris Morris: Gaydesk now with Colin Poppshed.
Colin Poppshed: Thanks Chris. Quick roundup of today's gayness, starting with the roads: The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M. They are all gay as of midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium. Zinc. Hydrogen. Copper. And Argon. A quick look at the World's walls: The Wailing Wall is gay. Hadrian's Wall is very gay. The Great Wall Of China, that's not gay. And the Old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next, they're the same as last night: all Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985, they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally, the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean... so, see you there. Chris...
Chris: Thanks Colin. He's not gay by the way. We wouldn't employ a homosexual.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
Round the World[edit]
- Tokyo Correspondent: Thanking you live from Tokyo, where it's three-thirty in the morning. That's minus seven in new Japanese time. In just seven hours, the first of thirty full-size duplicate Japans will be switched on, and all clocks will be reset to zero zero zero zero zero zero zero. The new Japans have been three years in construction, involving perfect replication of cities and people and children. The raft of new countries, which extends over five thousand miles into the Pacific, has been hidden until now, but was spotted yesterday from an aeroplane. Japan has so far refused to comment.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
- Italian Correspondent: The Vatican realised the computer had been tampered with when they discovered that Jesus had died of food poisoning aged nineteen, and Lou Reed had been canonised as a saint.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
- Iggy Pop Barker: Physical complaints like the hardened lump on this woman's foot are treated as symptoms of spiritual disorder.
Doctor: I'm going to make an incision here. And make the incision all the way round here, round the other side. And then cut through and then remove this. This foot. Remove that and take it away and bury it with some gooseberries.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Iggy Pop Barker: Dr Philip Johanssson is Europe's leading practitioner of bile chanting. He was one of the four doctors and ten patients killed in this morning's blaze. Firemen say the chance of finding anyone else alive is minimal.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Remedy Malahide: Mrs. Mandy Hell captured these snaps while out walking her brother on Wandsworth Common.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Reality show presenter: What he didn't know was that he and Lindsey were about to make a flight neither them would ever forget, even if their brains were erased with mind rubbers.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- Reporter: In an airjam there's a 3-D gridlock in the air and no way out: The planes just slow down and stop.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- The irony is that while these people lie around like the dead, those in the air will actually die and end up like the ratatouille these people ate at the canteens which are responding to strong demand at the moment here.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- Night watchman: I'm never tempted to use the pool myself at night. Although some time ago I used to go down and take showers. And on one occasion I went down to the pool and found a woman's swimming costume. Which I put on, and paraded around singing a song... a Joan Baez protest song.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994).
- Night watchman: Well, I would say this - I've been working here for 18 years, and in 1975 no one died. In 1976, no one died. In 1977, no one died. In 1978, no one died. In 1979, no-one died. In 1980... some one died. In 1981, no one died. In 1982 there was the incident with the pigeon. In 1983, no one died. In 1984, no one died. In 1985, no one died. In 1986... I mean, I could go on.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994).
- Voiceover: This is Britain, and in this glittering sea, this perfect fusion of man and mineral, we know that conflict will always perish in the brotherhood of flags.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- Eugene Fraxby: It was over in seconds. A dog and three people dead from guns. Being old they would have died soon anyway, but the dog, which contained no explosives at all, was shot to ribbons in its prime.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Voiceover: The only way police can neutralise bombdogs is to spray them with a resin coating which hardens instantly to contain any explosion. The inside of the bombdog is obviously destroyed, but the outside stays the same shape. However, if the underside is not covered, a highly directional blast launches the animal vertically to a height of over a thousand feet.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Interviewer: So how do you explain the case of Keith Philips, who returned from his out of body experience as a woman?
Skeptical academic: He didn't.
Interviewer: But we filmed it this afternoon, there's an awful lot of evidence to show what happened.
Skeptic: No there isn't.
- Episode 4 (9 February 1994).
- Travis Daveley: I have this little dream whereby there's this whole village of reanimated corpses, and if you like, a kind of control tower at the centre of that village with a bank of monitors, and I control all the corpses.
Barbara Wintergreen: Why use corpses? Why not normal people? Why don't you just leave things the way they are?
Daveley: Because, because normal people... because I wouldn't have my tower. I want a tower.
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
Tomorrow's newspapers[edit]
read out at the end of each show by Chris Morris.
- The Express go with 'Lord Mayor's Pirouette in Fire Chief Wife Decapitation'. Grisly but gripping.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- 'Drowned Italian Wins Eurovision'.
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994).
- 'Arafat Ablaze in Kerosene Oyster Hell'.
- Episode 2 (26 January 1994).
- The Mirror rather upset: 'Fleetwood Mac Buried in Dog Avalanche'.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
- 'Bank of England Recovers from Swollen Chairman Unusualness'.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
- 'Boiled Dog Could do Maths Claims Experimenter'.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- 'Elastic Song Strangles Hucknall'.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- '"Portillo's Face Felt Like Guts" Says Girl'.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994).
- 'Girl Made Of Paint Wins By-election'
- Episode 5 (16 February 1994).
- Due to a printing error, tomorrow's Guardian is full of water.
- Episode 6 (23 February 1994).
- The Sun, 'Robin Cock!'
- Episode 1 (19 January 1994)
- Voiceover: The Day Today: NEWS-FELCH
- Voiceover: A FACT: alone and tumbling through Infospace. Without help it could vanish forever... because only THIS (The Day Today logo appears) can make it a NEWS.
- Voiceover: The Day Today: aware that while the world looks round, it is in fact a cube. And from this we know that 'Fact' times 'Importance' equals NEWS.
- Voiceover: The Day Today: slamming the wasps from the pure apple of truth.
- Chris Morris: That's it, just to let you know the police are still looking for the actor Burt Reynolds, after he stole a dodgem and drove it out of a fairground in Islington. The fifty-nine-year-old American eluded capture after a low speed car chase, and was last seen heading north on the M11 near Saffron Walden.
- Episode 3 (2 February 1994)
- Chris Morris - Chris Morris, Ted Maul, Speak Your Brains interviewer, Eugene Fraxby, Reality show presenter.
- Steve Coogan - Alan Partridge, Spartacus Mills, Sixties presenter, Douglas Trox, Rome Correspondent, Doctor, Night watchman, Travis Daveley.
- Rebecca Front - Valerie Sinatra, Rosie May, Barbara Wintergreen, Remedy Malahide, Yorkshire Accented Woman.
- Doon Mackichan - Collatelie Sisters, Tokyo Correspondent, Susanna Gekkaloys.
- Patrick Marber - Peter O'Hanraha'hanrahan, Jacques 'Jacques' Liverot, Dônnnald Bethl'hem, Corin Piper, Newspaper seller, Iggy Pop Barker.
- David Schneider - Sylvester Stewart, Presenter at TV.
- Michael Alexander St John - Voiceover.
- Peter Baynham - Colin Poppshed.
External links[edit]
- Liquid Football - A football highlights and videos site which got the inspiration for its name after the infamous Alan Partridge quote.


text: Gregg and the team did a great job selling our condo. The were creative with the marketing of our unit and handled the negotiations professionally. They made it a very easy stress free transaction. Thank you, Kyle & Irma kylenyswonger http://www.zillow.com/profile/Gregg-Neuman/Reviews/?review=2851879 October 15, 2016 kylenyswonger View this review on Zillow


text:
HALLOWEEN SALE: Up to 25% off kitchen accessories, baking trays & more! Shop Now >
Recirculation cooker hoods draw in cooking vapours, filtering the air through a charcoal filter and then re-circulating the cleaned air back into the kitchen, leaving it free from cooking odours. The carbon filtration process guarantees air purification and a pleasant cooking environment.
This active carbon filter absorbs grease and moisture while cooking, preventing unpleasant odours in the kitchen. The non-toxic charcoal in the filter works under any temperature or humidity conditions.
To keep your kitchen smelling fresh it is recommended that you replace the carbon filter every 3 to 4 months, depending on the cooker hood usage and type of cooking (fried, fatty food, steam etc.).
This filter measures 192mm in diameter and 38mm in height.
How do I find my product number (PNC)?
Available soon
Available soon
Available soon
Standard delivery is £2.99 for each order.
Orders will be delivered in 3-5 working days via Royal Mail.
Items that are shown as out of stock at the time of purchase may take up to 28 days to be delivered.
Next Day delivery is £6.99 for each order.
Only items shown as "IN STOCK" are eligible for Next Day delivery.
Orders need to be placed before 12 pm on a weekday (Monday to Friday, excluding public holidays) to be delivered the next working day.
Orders placed after 12 pm on a Friday will be delivered the following Tuesday.


text:
Student Assault Resource Center Counselor Testifies at Jordan Johnson Rape Trial in Missoula
On Wednesday, Feb. 21, 2013 the Jordan Johnson rape trial wrapped up with testimony from Drew Colling, a licensed clinical counselor at the Student Assault Resource Center on the campus of The University of Montana.
Colling testified under direct examination from Assistant Attorney General Joel Thompson that she had diagnosed the alleged victim with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), due to the symptoms she displayed over several months, and even up to a year.
Colling said the woman who has accused Johnson of rape showed symptoms of anxiety, depression, withdrawal from family and friends, and told Colling she thought about the alleged rape 'all the time.' The woman told Colling she even doubted whether or not she wanted to have children of her own after the alleged incident.
Under cross-examination by defense attorney David Paoli, Colling admitted that she had only experienced five diagnoses of PTSD, and that she was not specifically trained in treating sexual assault cases. Colling also admitted she did not know how much, if any, alcohol the accuser drank the night before the alleged incident. Colling also noted that the only information she had to work with about the woman was self-reported.
Testimony resumes today in Missoula District Court.


text: M/s. Arghakhanchi Cement Pvt. Ltd., renamed from original establishment named as Dynesty Industries Nepal Private Limited in 2065/03/15 is a Private Limited Company, duly registered under the provisions of Companies act, 2053 in the year 2055, with its registered office at Thapathali, Kathmandu (earlier- Lalitpur Sub-metropolis-2, Sanepa). The company has been established with an objective of establishment and operation of a clinkerand cement manufacturing unit. We are one of the foremost Cement Manufacturing Companies in Nepal. We presently own and operate a cement manufacturing and VSK clinker manufacturing unit at Birpur, Kapilvastu. With the capacity of manufacturing 500TPD cement and 300TPD clinker and Unit-II at Mainahiya, Rupandehi a Rotary Kiln Plant having initial capacity of 650TPD is modified with the operation capacity of 1100TPD. We have installed a Cement production unit with the capacity of 1000 TPD at our existing Plant at Unit-II and after the expansion of this unit, the total manufacturing capacity of the company would be 1000TDP cement which will be produced with in house clinker production of 1100TPD.


text:
Short Films
POV Short films.
A plague of North American grey squirrels threatens the beloved British red squirrel.
Nutkin's Last Stand
A group of Jewish seniors celebrate the Sabbath (Shabbat) at the local Wendy's restaurant.
Wendy's Shabbat
One man runs a marathon in hopes of lifting the veil of racial terror in his town.
POV Shorts: The Changing Same
A community resists.
POV Shorts: Water Warriors
Three stories reflecting the many faces of love through memory, community and family.
POV Shorts: Cherish
Explore the history of the largest Confederate monument, Georgia's Stone Mountain.
Graven Image
Across New York City, a bold experiment in participatory democracy is underway.
Public Money
In Missouri, two plaintiffs describe their treatment in modern-day debtors' prison.
A Debtor's Prison
Cassandra edits and examines the Super-8 films her mother shot of 1960s-80s Brooklyn.
Into My Life
The city of Cleveland was abuzz on September 27, 1986. Over 1.5 million balloons were a
20,000 Americans gather in New York's Madison Square Garden.
A Night At The Garden
A Ghanaian gay man struggles to reconcile his love for his mother with his sexuality.
Reluctantly Queer
Home videos and animation tell the story of Keeth Smart, an Olympic Fencer from Brooklyn.
Stay Close
The Velvet Underground Played At My High School
In 1965, the Velvet Underground played for a crowd of shocked New Jersey high schoolers.
The Velvet Underground Played At My High School
For eight-year-old Geovany Cesario, leaving home is bittersweet.
Crisanto Street
Outside of El Chapo's Brooklyn trial, his mythology appears in spectacles and selfies.
Under the spell of mass entertainment on the high seas.


text:
Designers for Star Trek created flat, minimalist computers in order to save money. But as the franchise continued, the artists were forced to further explain the props' pretend functions, which eventually mirrored those of touch electronics today.
In a nifty interview with Ars Technica, the franchise's set designers explained how their pragmatism turned into prescience. Michael Okuda invented the show's omnipresent "Okudagrams," or the "interactive" colored panels that first appeared on Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Here, Okuda explains how cost restrictions forced designers to imagine the complex computing properties of the show's fake screens and devices.
The initial motivation for that was in fact cost [...] Doing it purely as a graphic was considerably less expensive than buying electronic components. But very quickly we began to realize-as we figured out how these things would work and how someone would operate them, people would come to me and say, 'What happens if I need to do this?' Perhaps it was some action I hadn't thought of, and we didn't have a specific control for that. And I realized the proper answer to that was, 'It's in the software.' All the things we needed could be software-definable. [...] We were considerably freer to imagine, 'What if you do this? Or what if you just touched that and it changed into a helm panel.'
For The Next Generation, the designers moved away from the electronic clipboards and created the multifunctional PADDs (Personal Access Display Devices), which Okuda notes could hypothetically pilot the Enterprise. Designer Doug Drexler explains how the PADDs tactile, nonspecific usage gave the devices an air of technosorcery. He also notes how the similarities between the PADDs and iPads is uncanny:
I think that anything that has no apparent mechanism yet delivers a big punch is either futuristic or, if you are from the Middle Ages, magic [...] Advanced alien devices on the original Trek series often had no discernible mechanism. So touch interfaces seem like magic. It's also slightly eerie, as you have the sensation that this thing is aware of you [...] We always felt that the classic Okuda T-bar graphic was malleable, and that you could stretch and rearrange it to suit your task, just like the iPad [...] The PADD never had a keyboard as part of its casing, just like the iPad. Its geometry is almost exactly the same-the corner radius, the thickness, and overall rectangular shape.
You can read the entire piece at Ars Technica here. Well, we're living with the devices of the final frontier today. Looks like it'll be your kids talking into the computer mouse.


text:
The 71-year-old Scot, who took up the reins at Old Trafford in 1986, had planned to retire in 2002, but had a change of heart and has not looked back since.
"There's no getting rid of me. I will probably become a director," said Ferguson, who has guided the Red Devils to a host of titles including 12 Premier League crowns, two Champions League trophies and five FA Cups.
Speaking about his retirement day in an interview with new twentyfour7 Football magazine, quoted in The Sun, Ferguson said: "Nobody knows. Neither do I. It won't be a doctor that tells me to quit!"
On the topic of appointing his successor, he said: "They'll ask me. But I think it'll be a club decision, not mine."


text:
- Home
- About
- New releases
- Statistical data
- IMF research
- How to order
- Contact us
- Useful links
Search Results
Bank Capital Adequacy in Australia
Author/Editor: B. Jang, Niamh Sheridan.
Release Date: January, 2012Price: $18.00
The paper finds that, given Australia's conservative approach in implementing the Basel II framework, Australian banks' headline capital ratios underestimate their capital strengths. Given their high more...
Refine By:
- Topic
- Region
- Asia and Pacific (6)
- Europe (2)
- Western Hemisphere (6)


text:
Sunday 23rd September 2018
Handicap : Full
Click the following to download the results
Gedney Hill Golf Club, West Drove North, Gedney Hill, Nr Spalding, Lincs, PE12 0NT
Telephone: (01406) 330922 www.gedneyhillgolfclub.co.uk
© Gedney Hill Golf Club
You are viewing the text version of this site.
Need help? check the requirements page.


text:
Get ready for the most delicious way to travel: Amtrak will soon run its Heartland Flyer rail line on beef byproduct biodiesel. Just like me, this train will run slowly and inefficiently on burgers.
Yep, thanks to a $US274,000 grant from the Federal Railroad Administration, this train will be running on pure meat. Well, pure meat and diesel.
The train, which runs on 80% regular diesel and 20% beef-based biofuel from a Texas vendor, is running for the next 12 months courtesy of a $US274,000 grant from the Federal Railroad Administration […]Amtrak says that the cow tallow (read: rendered fat from cattle) fuel reduces hydrocarbon and carbon monoxide emissions by 10%, cuts down on particulates by 15%, and reduces sulfates by 20% compared to standard diesel.
And yes, this train will almost definitely smell like a fast food restaurant whenever it passes through town. Choo choo! [Fast Company via io9]


text: japanese in mp3 tags/filenames and mp3gain 2007-11-24 23:58:37 long story short...1.) i have a considerable collection of mp3s of japanese bands and groups.2.) mp3gain apparently does not like it when the mp3's have any characters in the filename that are not viewable in DOS. for example, i do most of my tagging and such in mp3tag and manage the actual library (which i share with my mac) via itunes. both mp3tag and itunes happily display the Japanese characters, but any mp3s that contain the Japanese characters in the filename do not even show up in the list of files to be analyzed in mp3gain.SO, i have been pleased with the results of mp3gain so far, but this is kind of a deal breaker for me. many of the songs are not normalized, and worse some bands that utilize english for some of their song names end up with those songs normalized and other songs on the same album not.I have searched around a bit, but not come up with anything conclusive. The creator of mp3gain hasn't answered my e-mails either.Any suggestions? An alternate program that does the same thing (or better) as mp3gain? I do realize that I could get around this by renaming ALL of my Japanese mp3s so they don't have the characters in the filenames, but that is kind of a pain. The funny part is that mp3gain has "Japanese" available as a language for the interface...but can't read files with Japanese in the name.Thanks in advance.


text:
Sam Raimi got close to James Franco with Oz the Great and Powerful
- Bang Showbiz
- 1 March 2013
Director Sam Raimi became closer to James Franco than "ever before" while shooting 'Oz the Great and Powerful' and enjoyed seeing him play the hero
Sam Raimi got closer than "ever before" to James Franco on the set of 'Oz the Great and Powerful'.
The successful filmmaker previously worked with the 34-year-old heartthrob when he directed James in his 'Spider-Man' trilogy from 2002 to 2007, but feels a lot closer to the actor now he isn't the villain of the film.
Speaking at the European premiere of 'Oz the Great and Powerful' at the Empire Cinema in London's Leicester Square on Thursday evening (28.02.13), Sam told BANG Showbiz: "It was great working with James because we had made three 'Spider-Man' pictures together, but it was a very different experience because in those movies he plays Peter Parker's best friend [Harry Osborn], and eventually someone trying to kill Spider-Man.
"So I don't like guys trying to kill my hero, you know that really gets me mad. So I wasn't as close to him, I'm never as close to the villains in the picture.
"And now I was telling a story where you had to see it through James' eyes. He plays the Wizard and we got a lot more communicative and closer than ever before."
The film follows circus magician Oscar Diggs as he journeys through the enchanted land of Oz trying to prove himself worthy of becoming Wizard of the land belonging to witches Evanora (Rachel Weisz), Theodora (Mila Kunis) and Glinda the Good Witch (Michelle Williams).
Although Sam recaptures scenes from the 1939 classic in his feature - such as the deadly poppy field and the magical Emerald City - the director wanted his story to focus more on the "heart" of the Wizard.
He explained: "We tried to not recreate the original Victor Flemming classic 'The Wizard Of Oz' because it's my favourite movie of all time, and this movie is also based on [L.] Frank Baum's works, but it's really this journey that took place before 'The Wizard of Oz'.
"It's about who the wizard was back in Kansas, how he has a little bit of a selfish heart and how once he gets to the land of Oz that heart would be able to grow and how he became a full human being."
Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, James Franco and Michelle Williams joined Sam on the yellow brick road-style carpet last night.


text:
32 of 43
Basic Vegetarian Chili
A simple bean and vegetable chili that can be on the table in less than an hour.
Unlike its slow-cooking, meaty brethren, this chili recipe is easy, fast, and vegetarian. It makes for a hearty weeknight dinner. Freeze leftovers in small containers for a ready-to-eat meal. To see this recipe with illustrated steps, check out The Basics: How to Make Veggie Chili.... Read More
View Recipe


text:
Afghanistan's media can play a crucial role in the future of the country. By informing citizens, by providing opportunities for discussion, and by holding those in power to account, the media has a substantial role to play in developing good governance. It can also aid economic growth and contribute to better understanding of issues in many humanitarian and development sectors. To help explore the extent and variation in media usage around Afghanistan, this site visualizes Altai Consulting's comprehensive 2010 Media Research (full report).
Results are displayed across each province by use of radio, television, mobile phone and internet, and broken down by gender and location type where relevant. All 2010 population data is from the Central Statistics Organization. Interviews were not allowed with women in the following provinces: Wardak, Paktya, Kunar, Helmand, Zabul, Uruzgan.
Additional disaggregation of data by youth and gender is available in the companion Internews Initatives site, along with other Internews moitoring and evaluation and project activity information.


text:
Food & Drink
2022: Cheap flights, more rail and hands-free cars
By Thom Patterson, CNN • Updated 27th November 2012
View Gallery
7 Pictures
Fliers, drivers and rail riders, heads up: the next 10 years will dramatically transform America's traveling landscape.
Get ready to share the road with driverless, computer-controlled cars. Prepare to join millions of travelers who will start riding trains to nearby cities. Expect to be nickel-and-dimed (even more) by the airlines. Don't be surprised to see sleek new airline designs that run cleaner and burn less fuel, thanks to new materials and innovative technology.
In the air, the trend toward low-cost airlines and so-called "a la carte" pricing will likely become the accepted norm, as fliers finally accept a business model that reminds us: nothing is free and everything costs. By 2022, say experts, the consumer war over having to pay for every airline perk and option from pillows to snacks to window seats to legroom will be over.
Number crunchers will win. Grumblers will lose.
"It's the unbundling of services," said airline analyst Mike Miller. "Passengers are choosing the airlines that have the most fees, most often. These carriers are the most profitable and the most full."
Opponents fear the new hyper-itemized normal will create a group of "super elite" passengers who are treated very differently than the rest of us. More on that later.
A proposed rule could make it harder for some co-pilots to fly, but will it make the skies safer? Lizzie O'Leary reports.
CNN's Andrew Stevens joins the debut flight of Boeing's 787 Dreamliner airplane from Tokyo to Hong Kong.
Southwest Airlines CEO Gary Kelly talks pricing, passenger demand and getting back into profit.
A new law allows driverless cars to cruise on the streets of California.
On the ground, we'll see amazing technological strides in the development of self-driving cars during the next decade. But America's roads and bridges will continue to suffer from much needed repairs,
according to the American Society of Civil Engineers
. But hey, at least we'll be able to multitask while our cars are dodging potholes.
Across the nation's sprawling rail lines, experts anticipate several states from coast to coast will continue investing in trains that connect regional cities. And the future looks bright, analysts say, for the nation's urban light rail and tramway systems. We'll get to that in a minute.
First, let's use four quick stats to remind ourselves what a big deal the transportation industry is:
Planes: By 2022, the FAA predicts more than a billion U.S. airline passengers.
Cars and trucks: Washington says registered passenger vehicles number above 250 million (for perspective, the entire U.S. population numbers more than 312 million).
Trains: Amtrak ridership set an all-time record this year: more than 31 million passengers.
The 'race to the bottom'
Prospects for the airline industry look good, but still, some experts are worried.
Airline consumer expert Brett Snyder of crankyflier.com
fears continued success of low-cost carriers could hurt consumers in the long run. Low-cost airlines are growing fast and raking in big profits by charging ultra-cheap fares while nickel-and-diming passengers to pay for even the most basic extras.
Europe's RyanAir offers an extreme example. The
airline's CEO has talked
about charging his passengers to use on-board toilets and creating standing-room-only sections on some flights.
Apparently this matters: Airplane seat belts
The danger, said Miller, is creating two types of fliers: the "haves" -- "super-elite frequent fliers who get everything" -- and the "have-nots" -- passengers in economy "who get nothing."
Lizzie O'Leary reports on whether the new Boeing 787 everything it's cracked up to be?
Google parades its self-driving Prius on D.C. streets to garner support from lawmakers to make it street legal.
The Gateway take you on a high-speed race from Nagano to Shinjuku using a car and a train.
After billions of federal stimulus dollars pledged to build a new rail line, the project is plagued with problems.
That business model sounds familiar, said
Miller, of the American Aviation Institute
. "CEOs are earning more money than ever and the average wage is not going up. Now we're seeing that mirrored by airline service. That's a little troubling because the coach passenger seems to be always getting less."
By 2022, fliers will likely have accepted the idea that they must pay fees for every perk and service which, a generation earlier, was included in passenger fares.
Snyder is a fan of extreme low-cost carriers like RyanAir, but in general, he doesn't want to see the entire industry using that model. He believes passengers want choices and, to some degree, a la carte provides that. It's a system that allows passengers to choose the services they want. Some fliers may not be able to get their heads around it because they're stuck in the past.
"A lot of people who don't like this trend have in their minds the way it used to be," said Snyder. "They think that's how it should be."
If the low-cost model becomes the standard for success, Snyder warns, other airlines seeking profits will follow, triggering a "race to the bottom," as every airline tries to "slash and burn costs and do everything they can to make more money by cutting back. I think that would be really unfortunate."
Denver-based Frontier Airlines "is the hope for the future," said Snyder. "They're trying to become a low-cost carrier, but they have more amenities on board, although you do have to pay for them, such as live TV and extra legroom. They're trying to offer a bit more to people."
Expect more air passengers to demand Wi-Fi and personalized entertainment choices in the coming years. Airlines may provide access to movies stored on a digital media server aboard the aircraft, or, a third-party website where passengers can watch video now or later after they de-plane. Power outlets for personal devices ought to become standard on all passenger seats, say experts, not just in first class.
But some choices, such as seating, shouldn't be limited to all or nothing. Regular carriers, say analysts, should offer more "in-between choices," like Delta's Economy Comfort or United's Economy Plus, with more legroom and other amenities for a few dollars extra.
The coming 10 years will also affect airports. Some larger markets are developing additional airports which will ease traffic congestion. But smaller cities may be at risk. Many regional airlines may abandon some small towns, as tiny airports get squeezed by rising fuel prices and shrinking profits.
What can pilots expect? Changes in federal rules will require additional and more expensive training for new pilots, many of whom will earn a starting salary of about $20,000 a year, said Miller. Experts fear the result will be a temporary shortage of airline pilots, which might force airlines to take on the cost of pilot training. That expense likely would be passed on to consumers.
Related: U.S. pilots find higher pay overseas
New equipment
On the bright side, the coming decade will bring more fuel efficient aircraft. Boeing's new 787 Dreamliner started U.S. routes this month.
Boeing Dreamliner makes domestic debut
Canadian aircraft maker
Bombardier's much anticipated CSeries
boasts a variable speed, multi-gear engine that aims to save 20% more fuel than its competitors. The first CSeries plane is expected to begin service in 2014.
But what about a little further down the road? At NASA, experts asked a handful of top aircraft designers for their ideas on green airplanes of the future.
Firms like Lockheed Martin offered cool box-shaped wing designs while Boeing and Northrop Grumman played with fascinating "flying wings." Although the NASA program was really just an idea-sharing brainstorming project, some of these futuristic design ideas could very well make the jump to reality by 2025 NASA said, if economic conditions allow.
Whether fuel savings from efficient airliners will be passed on to consumers in the next 10 years depends on a lot of factors. It's possible, said experts, as long as passenger traffic is high and fuel prices are stable.
Letting go of the wheel
California and Nevada have passed laws authorizing driverless or self-driving vehicles, signaling the beginning of a new era.
These computer-controlled cars and trucks are coming, whether or not we feel comfortable about it. The idea is to allow computers to coordinate the safest and most efficient speed and route for each car, thereby reducing wrecks and traffic jams. Nevada and California require the cars to have a human behind the wheel who can take control of the vehicle at any time.
In five years or less, non-experimental self-driving cars are
expected to hit California's public roads, says driverless car developer Google
. Computer-coordinated vehicles could help cut the estimated 4.2 billion hours Americans spend each year stuck in traffic,
according to the society of engineers
. All that time costs $710 per driver.
Volvo is working with the European Union
on what it calls Road Trains, several self-driving cars connected and coordinated by a wireless signal from a lead vehicle, which is driven by a human. The idea aims to cut highway congestion and save fuel. Bottom line: fewer traffic jams, less pollution, cheaper travel. Road Trains could hit Europe's highways as soon as 2022, according to the European Union.
Related: California legalizes self-driving cars
For Volvo scientist Jonas Ekmark, the driverless era began when he was testing the Road Train. He remembers what it felt like the first time he took his hands off the wheel, effectively putting a computer in the driver's seat.
"That was really a strange experience," Ekmark recalled with a chuckle. "I let go and then after 30 seconds I was like, 'and now what?'"
Eventually he felt comfortable enough to take his eyes off the road to read and answer e-mail on his smartphone. "After a while you adapt to it and you feel like you're on an aircraft or a bus or something."
Reading e-mail while sitting in the driver's seat may be safe enough, said Ekmark, but sleeping is probably not a good option.
If something goes wonky during a Road Train trip, the system triggers a very loud alarm along with a "quite strong vibration" in the driver's seat. The driver then has about 10 seconds to take control of the vehicle and leave the Road Train.
Road Trains could be a safe stepping stone toward the day when all cars are autonomously self-driven and not reliant on a lead vehicle, Ekmark said.
Rail riders
Americans are increasingly embracing train travel. Need proof? More passengers rode Amtrak this year than ever before in its 41-year history, the train company said. And there's no reason to believe the trend won't continue, say experts.
Better rail service and increased funding offers America its best chance in generations to get off the highways and get on the rails, according to analysts.
Regional inter-city rail systems in California, Illinois, North Carolina, Virginia and elsewhere have been invigorated by 2009's federal stimulus legislation, said transportation expert
Yonah Freemark, who runs TransportPolitic.com
"Those investments are going to be built out and people are going to see better service on inter-city rail lines across the country," he said." And you'll see increasing ridership." That's good news for the nation's energy situation. Rail travel uses 20% less energy than traveling by car,
according to the ASCE
Still, U.S. train ridership ranks very low compared with other nations. The number of passengers on Amtrak and commuter rail total about 500 million a year, Freemark said. Compare that to the United Kingdom, a country five times smaller than the United States, which counted 1.35 billion rail riders last year. Other nations where railroads carry more than a billion passengers a year include Germany, India, China, France, Russia and South Korea, according to the International Union of Railways.
A year of the world's
Best Beaches
There's a perfect beach for every week of the year. Join us on a 12-month journey to see them all
Go to the best beaches


text:
The Logan Apartment Size Sofa is the easiest way to add a touch of vintage glamour to your living space. The sleek tapered wooden legs and button-tufted back cushions will look just stunning in your living room and because Apt2B thinks of just about everything, this couch was designed specifically for apartment living - so it's not too big, it's not too small - it's just right. Relax on the soft cushions and kick your feet up after a day at the office. Enjoy your choice of fabrics and browse over 50 different colors. Whether you want to stick to a classic shade or you crave something bright and vivid, we've got it. The Logan Sofa comes with a lifetime warranty.
Add a bit of vintage glamour to your space with the Logan. Sleek wood legs and button tufted back cushions take this modern shape to an elevated level. The ultimate show piece for your stylish room.
- Custom made in Los Angeles, CA (made in USA)
- Eco-friendly construction
- Solid wood frame
- Cleanable and breathable hypoallergenic fabrics
- Reversible and flippable detached cushioning
- Zippered, removable seat cushion covers for easy cleaning
- Seat cushions are 2.0 density foam offering a cozy yet supportive sit / no flame retardants added
- Lifetime guarantee on frame and workmanship
ShippingApt2B offers free delivery on every order!
ProductionEach piece is expertly handmade to order in Los Angeles, CA. Production is currently running with a lead time of 6-8 weeks. Orders will be processed on a first come/first serve basis so order now to reserve your place in line!
Related Items
On Sale
Regular price
On Sale
Regular price
On Sale
Regular price
On Sale
Regular price
Logan Apartment Size Sofa


text:
Track Palin & Wife Britta Welcome a Girl: Report
According to a report, the newlyweds named their first child Kyla Grace Palin
Sarah Palin has become a grandmother for the second time, according to reporter Joe McGinniss, who is writing a book on the former vice presidential candidate.
Palin's eldest son, Track, and his wife, Britta, welcomed a baby girl named Kyla Grace Palin on Sunday night, reports McGinniss, who moved next door to the Palins's Alaska home in 2010 to gain better access to the family.
In May, it was announced that the high school sweethearts were married. The Palin family never officially confirmed Britta's pregnancy, though pictures of her baby shower surfaced on Facebook.
The former Britta Hanson was once roommates with her husband's younger sister, Bristol, in Anchorage, and served as an executive secretary in the governor's office, beginning when her mother-in-law was governor of Alaska. She is currently a nursing student at the University of Alaska.
Track Palin, an Army Reservist, has said he plans to study at the University of Alaska after the commercial fishing season.
Neither Todd Palin, nor a rep for the Palin family responded to requests for comment.