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Alaska's congressional delegation: Yes for offshore oil and gas leasing, but not everywhere
Alaska's congressional delegation has asked Interior Sec. Ryan Zinke to exclude most of the state from his draft plan forRead more
Alaska's congressional delegation has asked Interior Sec. Ryan Zinke to exclude most of the state from his draft plan forRead more
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For the first time in decades, an oil company has put significant money into leases in federal waters of SouthcentralRead more
Alaska ended years of silence about its oil and gas tax credits this week by announcing the names of companies thatRead more
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Another newcomer to Cook Inlet's oil and gas fields has boosted production after rehabilitating old wells with aggressive drilling techniques.Read more


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Welcome to Synergy Fitness Baldwin
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Synergy Fitness is one of life's best escapes; a place where you can work out or relax to your heart's content – literally. With state-of-the-art fitness equipment, certified personal trainers, child care, private lockers and more, Synergy offers a comfortable and clean atmosphere to meet your health goals. You set your goals and we help you get there, at your pace. Whether you want an intense Zumba class experience, a concrete workout and nutritional plan with a certified trainer, one-on-one boxing session or a quiet morning of yoga, Synergy has a fitness solution that meets each of our clients individually. We are proud to offer a unique range of services including TRX Training, Sports Specific Training and Boot Camp.
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Educational Blog
Domestic abuse is a complex issue that affects 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men.
Help bring light to this often hidden epidemic by reading more below.
The following posts are from the Emerge! monthly eNews.
Click here to sign up and receive these articles directly in your inbox!
Missing & Murdered Indigenous Women & Girls
October 2019 – Supporting indigenous women and girls
Written by April Ignacio, a citizen of the Tohono O'odham Nation and the founder of Indivisible Tohono, a grassroots community organization that provides opportunities for civic engagement and education beyond voting for members of the Tohono O'odham Nation. She is a fierce advocate for women, a mother of five and an artist.
Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women & Girls is a social movement that brings awareness to lives being lost to and by violence. Most notably this movement began in Canada among the First Nations communities and small increments of education began to trickle down to the United States, as mostly women connected the dots within their own communities. This is how I started my work on the Tohono O'odham Nation, connecting the dots to honor the lives of women and girls who had lost theirs due to violence.
In the last three years, I have conducted over 34 interviews with families whose mothers, daughters, sisters or aunts had either gone missing or lost their lives to violence. The idea was to acknowledge the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women & Girls in my community, to bring awareness and for the larger community to see how we've been unknowingly impacted. I was met with long talks over cigarettes and coffee, a lot of tears, a lot of thank-yous and some pushback.
Pushback came from leaders in my community who were afraid of how it would look from the outside. I also received pushback from programs who felt threatened by my questions or that people would begin to question the adequacy of their services.
The movement of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women & Girls is becoming more known across the country with the help of social media. There are so many layers and jurisdictional laws that are outdated. The lack of resources including access to Amber Alerts and 911 are all factors in rural and reservation areas where Native women are being murdered at a rate of 10 times higher than the national average. Most times it feels like no one is paying attention or no one is connecting the dots. The idea to honor the women and girls in my community began to snowball into an unintended research project: as one interview would end, another began by referral.
Families began to confide in me and the interviews became heavier and harder to conduct as the number of murdered women began to increase with no end in sight. It became overwhelming for me. There are still a lot of unknowns: how to share the information, how to protect families from being exploited by reporters and individuals collecting stories and people to profit or make a name for themselves. Then there are the facts that are still hard to swallow: 90% of the court cases seen in our tribal courts are domestic violence cases. The Violence Against Women Act, which recognizes tribal jurisdiction over crimes like sexual assault, has still yet to be reauthorized.
The good news is this year on May 9, 2019 the State of Arizona passed House Bill 2570, which formed a study committee to collect data on the epidemic of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls in Arizona. A team of state senators, state legislative representatives, tribal leaders, domestic violence advocates, law enforcement officers and community members are convening to share information and develop a data collection plan.
Once data is compiled and shared, new laws and policies can be developed to address gaps in services. Clearly this is just one small way of beginning to address an issue that has been perpetuated since colonization. North Dakota, Washington, Montana, Minnesota and New Mexico have also launched similar study committees. The goal is to collect the data that doesn't exist and to ultimately stop this from happening in our communities.
We need your help. Support undocumented Indigenous women by learning about Prop 205, the citywide initiative to make Tucson a Sanctuary City. The initiative would codify law, including protections against deporting victims of domestic violence and sexual assault who call the police to report their abuse. I take comfort in knowing that there are people all over the world fighting for a life without violence for their children and for generations to come.
Now That You Know, What Will You Do?
Supporting Indigenous Women & Girls
April Ignacio of Indivisible Tohono says email or call your U.S. Senator and ask them to push for a Senate vote on the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act as it was passed through Congress. And remember, everywhere you step, you're walking on Indigenous land.
For more information and community resources, visit Our Bodies, Our Stories by the Urban Indian Health Institute: uihi.org/our-bodies-our-stories
The Link Between Domestic Abuse and Suicide
October 2019 – Supporting victims who die by suicide
Mitsu died by suicide the day after she disclosed the abuse she was experiencing to her friend Mark. We wish Mitsu's story were rare, but unfortunately, studies show that women who have experienced domestic abuse are seven times more likely to experience suicidal ideation when compared to individuals who have not experienced domestic abuse. In a global context, the World Health Organization found in 2014 that someone dies by suicide every 40 seconds, and suicide is the second leading cause of death for 15 – 29 year olds.
When factoring in how different identities related to ability, gender, race and sexual orientation can overlap, the risk factors for victims of domestic abuse thinking about suicide increases. In other words, when someone lives with the experience of regularly navigating obstacles because of their identities, and they experience domestic abuse simultaneously, their mental health can be seriously affected.
For example, due to historical trauma and a long history of oppression, women who are Native American or Alaska Natives are at a higher risk of suicide. Similarly, youth who identify in the LGBTQ communities and have experienced discrimination, and women who live with a disability or a debilitating illness who are simultaneously experiencing domestic abuse are at a higher risk.
In 2014, a Federal initiative through SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) began to look at the interactions between domestic abuse and suicide and urged experts in both fields to understand the links in order to better support individuals experiencing domestic abuse to understand that suicide isn't the only way out of their relationship.
What Can You Do?
Mark describes how he, as Mitsu's friend, supported Mitsu after she opened up about her abusive relationship. He also describes the emotions and struggles he experienced when she died by suicide. So, how can you help if someone you love is experiencing domestic abuse and thinking about suicide as the way out?
First, understand the warning signs of domestic abuse. Second, learn the warning signs of suicide. According to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, the following list encompasses things that you can watch out for, if you're concerned about a loved one:
- Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves
- Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
- Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing or isolating themselves
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Having extreme mood swings
It's also important to know that sometimes, people will confide one experience, but not the other. They may express feelings of hopelessness, but not connect it to the abuse they are experiencing in their intimate relationship. Or, they may express concern about their intimate relationship, but not talk about the suicidal ideation they may experience.
Third, offer resources and support.
- For domestic abuse support, your loved one can call Emerge's 24/7 multilingual hotline anytime at 520-795-4266 or 1-888-428-0101.
- For suicide prevention, Pima County has a community-wide crisis line: (520) 622-6000 or 1 (866) 495-6735.
- There's also the National Suicide Hotline (which includes a chat feature, if that's more accessible): 1-800-273-8255
What about Secondary Survivors?
Secondary survivors, like Mark, should also get support. A secondary survivor is someone who is close to the domestic abuse survivor and experiences responses to the trauma their loved one is going through, like depression, sleeplessness, and anxiety. It's a normal part of the grieving process to experience complex emotions after a loved one – who experienced intimate partner abuse – dies by suicide, including anger, sadness, and blame.
Loved ones often struggle to figure out the best way to support the domestic abuse survivor when they are living through the abuse, and may feel like they aren't doing "enough." These feelings may continue if their loved one dies by suicide (or dies as a result of the abuse). The loved one may feel helpless and guilty after their death.
As Mark mention, seeing a behavioral health therapist to process through the grief and pain of losing Mitsu has been helpful. Support can look different from one person to the next in terms of processing secondary trauma; seeing a therapist, journaling and finding a support group are all good options in the road to recovery. Some loved ones especially struggle during holidays, anniversaries and birthdays, and may need additional support during those times.
The most valuable help we can provide to those who are living in an abusive relationship and possibly experiencing isolation or thoughts of suicide is our willingness to listen and be open to hearing their stories, to show them that they are not alone and there is a way out. That even though they might be experiencing difficult times, their lives are valuable and therefore worth seeking support.
No Time to Say Goodbye
October 2019 – Supporting victims who die by suicide
This week's too often untold story is about domestic abuse victims who die by suicide. Mark Flanigan recounts the experience of supporting his dear friend Mitsu, who died by suicide one day after disclosing to him that she was in an abusive relationship.
My friend lost her life as a result of domestic violence, and for a long time, I blamed myself.
My friend Mitsu was a beautiful person, inside and out. Originally from Japan, she was living and studying to be a nurse here in the U.S. Her radiant smile and cheerful personality were such that people around her could not resist becoming her fast and genuine friends. She was someone who personified compassion, goodness, and had so much to live for. Sadly, Mitsu lost her life as a result of domestic violence.
I'd first met Mitsu about six years ago in Washington, DC, during the annual Cherry Blossom Festival. She was volunteering there as an interpreter and wearing a lovely bright pink and white kimono. At the time, I was working for a Japan-related educational foundation, and we were recruiting international students for our affiliated school in Tokyo. One of our colleagues could not make it that day, and our booth was short-staffed. Without hesitation, Mitsu (whom I had just met) jumped right in and started helping us out!
Although she had no connection to our foundation or school, Mitsu happily insisted on doing whatever she could do for us. Of course, with her cheerful personality and wonderfully resplendent kimono, she drew many more interested applicants than we could have ever hoped for. Our own alumni volunteers were completely entranced by her, and quite humbled to see her dedicated support. That's just one small indication of the type of truly selfless person she was.
Mitsu and I kept in touch over the years, but one day she told me she'd decided to move to Hawaii. It was not an easy decision for her to make, because she had a full life and many friends in D.C. She was studying to be a nurse and was doing pretty well at it, despite the challenging curriculum and taking her program entirely in English, which was her second language. Nonetheless, she felt a duty to her aging parents, as their only child, to be closer to her home country of Japan.
As a compromise, and to continue her studies with minimal disruption, she relocated to Hawaii. That way, she could still study nursing (which was a perfect career for her) within the American higher education system while being able to fly back to her family in Japan as needed. I imagine she felt a bit out of place at first, as she did not really have any family or friends there in Hawaii, but she made the best of it and continued her studies.
In the meantime, I moved here to Tucson, Arizona, to start my new year of service with AmeriCorps. Not long after, I was surprised to learn from Mitsu that she had a fiancé, as she hadn't been dating anyone previously. However, she seemed to be happy, and the two of them took a number of different trips together. From their photos, he looked like a friendly, outgoing, athletic type. As she loved to travel and explore the outdoors, I took this as a positive indication that she had found her compatible life partner.
Despite feeling happy for her initially, I was alarmed to hear later from Mitsu that she was the victim of physical and emotional abuse. Her fiancé was prone to angry and violent behavior after bouts of heavy drinking, and took it out on her. They had purchased a condo together in Hawaii, so she felt socially and economically trapped by their financial ties. Mitsu was trying to figure out how to deal with the situation and was extremely scared to try and leave him. She wanted to go back to Japan, but was paralyzed by her sense of fear and shame at her terrible situation.
I tried to assure her that none of that was her fault, and that no one deserved to suffer from verbal or physical domestic violence. She had a few friends there, but none she could stay with for more than one or two nights. I was not familiar with shelters in Oahu, but I looked up some basic emergency-related resources for abuse victims and shared them with her. I promised I would try to help her find an attorney in Hawaii that specialized in domestic violence cases. This support seemed to give her some temporary respite, and she thanked me for helping her. Ever thoughtful, she asked how I was doing in my new position in Arizona and told me that she hoped things would continue to go well for me in my new environment.
I didn't know it then, but that would be the very last time I ever heard from Mitsu. I reached out to friends in Hawaii and got the contact of a highly regarded attorney that I thought would be able to help her with her case. I sent her the information, but never heard back, which caused me great concern. Finally, about three weeks later, I heard from Mitsu's cousin that she was gone. As it turns out, she had taken her own life just one day after she and I had last talked. I can only imagine the relentless pain and suffering that she must have been feeling in those last few hours.
As a result, there was no case to follow up with. Since no charges had ever been filed against her fiancé, the police did not have anything to go on. With her suicide, there would be no further investigation beyond the immediate cause of her death. Her surviving family members did not have the desire to go through the process of pursuing anything further in their time of grieving. As saddened and shocked as I was at the sudden loss of my dear friend Mitsu, what hit me the hardest was that I hadn't been able to do anything at all for her in the end. Now it was simply too late, and I felt I'd blown it.
While I know on a rational level that there is nothing more I could have done, part of me still blamed myself for not being able to prevent her pain and loss somehow. In my life and career, I have always tried to be someone who serves others, and to make a positive impact. I felt like I had completely let Mitsu down in her time of greatest need, and there was simply nothing I could do to change that awful realization. I felt very angry, sorrowful, and guilty all at once.
While I still continued to serve at work, I became anxious and withdrew from a lot of different social activities that I had previously enjoyed doing. I had trouble sleeping through the night, often waking up in a cold sweat. I stopped working out, going to karaoke, and socializing in larger groups, all because of the numbingly constant feeling that I had failed to help my friend when she needed it the most. For weeks and months, I lived most days in what I can only describe as a heavy, numbing fog.
Fortunately, I was able to admit to others that I was dealing with this intense grief and needed support. While I have not spoken publicly about it until now, I was helped greatly by some of my closest friends and my colleagues at work. They encouraged me to seek out some way to honor Mitsu's memory, in a manner that would be meaningful and have some kind of lasting impact. Thanks to their kind support, I have been able to join a number of workshops and activities here in Tucson that support victims of domestic violence and also work to help raise healthy and respectful young men.
I also started seeing a behavioral health therapist at a local public health clinic, who has helped me immeasurably to understand and work through my own complex feelings of anger, pain, and sadness around the loss of my good friend. She has helped me to navigate the long road to recovery and to understand that the pain of emotional trauma is no less debilitating than a broken leg or a heart attack, even if the symptoms are not as outwardly obvious. Step by step, it's gotten easier, although some days the pain of grief still hits me unexpectedly.
By sharing her story, and highlighting the often-overlooked cases of suicide as a result of abuse, I hope that we as a society can continue to learn and speak out about this awful epidemic. If even one person becomes more aware of domestic violence by reading this article, and works to help end it, then I will be happy.
Although I will sadly never see or talk with my friend again, I know that her radiant smile and lovely compassion for others will never be dimmed, as she lives on in the work that we all do collectively to make the world a brighter place in our own communities. I have since dedicated myself fully to this work here in Tucson as a way to celebrate Mitsu's all-too-brief time here on earth, and the amazingly positive legacy she continues to leave behind with us, even now.
How to Support a Loved One in an Abusive Relationship
October 2019 – Supporting Survivors Who Stay
When we are worried about someone we love, we react. In trying to protect our loved one experiencing abuse, these reactions sometimes include panic ("you need to get out now!"), tough love ("you made your bed, now you have to lie in it"), anger ("I'll give your partner a piece of my mind!") and guilt ("think of your children!"). When we react in those ways with someone experiencing abuse, we can activate feelings of shame and fear, and, intentionally or unintentionally, alienate our loved one from confiding in us about the experience they are living through.
Many domestic abuse survivors love their partners. As a community, we have spent decades helping survivors get out of their abusive relationships—and we've spent very little time helping survivors stay safe within their relationships. Because of this dynamic, we've created a taboo for survivors who don't want to leave their partners or their families—and created shame about wanting to stay.
Rather than jumping to demand a specific behavior from our loved ones, the question becomes how we can best help a loved one be as safe as possible, even when they choose to stay in the relationship. Let's open the discussion with our loved one to include many options, driven by the survivor experiencing the abuse.
Read more about how to open up a discussion with a loved one experiencing abuse.
Beverly's Story
October 2019 – Supporting Survivors Who Stay
This week's untold story centers on domestic abuse survivors who choose to stay in their relationship. The piece below, written by Beverly Gooden, was originally published by the Today Show in 2014. Gooden is the creator of the #whyistayed movement, which began after the "why doesn't she leave" question was repeatedly asked of Janay Rice, after a video surfaced of her husband, Ray Rice (formerly of the Baltimore Ravens), physically assaulting Janay.
Dear Bev,
He did it again.
I'm sorry that he broke his promise to you. You believed that last time was the last time, and why wouldn't you? Most people want to believe the love of their life. Yes, that's right. I know you still love him even after he choked you. It's ok, you can say it. You love this man.
You feel lost without him even though you are afraid with him. It's a strange feeling right? To love a man so deeply and to fear him, just as deeply. You can feel those emotions. You can feel whatever it is that you're feeling. You don't owe anyone an apology for your feelings.
I understand why you stay. The way he holds you after an altercation? It feels so good. The negative touch followed by a positive touch… it warms you. It makes everything better. Well, everything except the bruises.
And he takes care of you! No man has ever taken such good care of you. He protects and provides. He adores you in public. His smile is so amazing. You feel lucky to have landed such a catch. A lot of girls liked him, and everyone at church speaks highly of him. But he chose to spend his life with you. So you refuse to let him down.
When he focuses all his attention on you, it's exhilarating. You are the center of his world! Maybe even a little too much. Every move you make is criticized. He just wants you to be better, right? He tells you that you are the only person that can bring out that side of him because he loves you so much. See, you get under his skin because you are the one he cares about. Isn't that wonderful? To be cared for so much? What woman wouldn't want to be a man's whole universe? Only that doesn't really make sense. His boss gets under his skin, but he's never hit her. He wants his sisters to be better, but he doesn't bite or push them. Things aren't adding up, are they? Bev, it's not you at all. There is absolutely nothing you can say; no way you can behave that would be perfect enough for him. It is not you, it is him. He is at fault.
But now you're thinking that those few times a month he gets angry enough to hit you can't outweigh the 27-28 other picturesque days you spend together making up. Right?
Or, could the other 27-28 days simply be borrowed time? It only takes a few seconds to end a life. He could end your life. Our life.
You could start planning an escape right now, if you want. It will take some time, but you can do it. It'll be difficult and you will want to give up. There are resources out there to help you. But be careful opening those links, especially if he is in the house.
The choice is yours, Bev. But only when you're ready, and not a moment sooner. No guilt, pressure, or shame. I can't say this process won't ache. You will be sad for a long time. You'll miss him and the life you had together. You will be afraid for your life. You'll wonder if you made the right decision by leaving. Feel that; own that hurt. Acknowledging the pain is a necessary step that precedes what I'm going to tell you next.
Once the pain subsides, you will experience freedom. Oh Bev, there will be such peace! Can you imagine that? It will feel like heaven. You will build a new career. You will find love again. You will experience healthy relationships. You will make new friends and reconnect with old ones. You will get group therapy and meet other women like you. You will buy a car. You will have food to eat. You will have coffee to drink! You will survive. You will thrive. You will breathe. You will live. We will live. You will have the world at your fingertips.
When you're ready, the world will be too.
I'll be waiting for you.
Celebrating LGBTQ Pride Month by Creating Visibility
June 2019
Healthy relationships are critical to the strength and future of our community, and should be celebrated in all forms. As part of that community, we all have a responsibility for building a culture that supports the health and safety of every person in Pima County.
Domestic Abuse in LGBTQ Relationships
As with all intimate partner relationships, the majority of LGBTQ relationships are non-abusive, but domestic abuse does happen. While nearly all forms of relationship violence are under-reported, LGBTQ communities are one of the many groups where this is especially the case.
The unfortunate silence surrounding the issue of domestic abuse in LGBTQ relationships often results in limited access to resources for those reaching out for help. LGBTQ survivors of abuse can face additional barriers to reaching out for help.
For example, for those who have not yet disclosed their sexual orientation or gender identity publicly, their partner's abusive behavior may include threatening to "out" them to their family, friends or workplace.
For LGBTQ parents, their partner's abusive behavior may include threatening to take away their children. Additionally, some states do not allow both same-sex parents to adopt their children, which may leave the person experiencing abuse with no legal rights should they choose to separate from the relationship.
It's a common experience for LGBTQ survivors to be met with exclusion and revictimization when reaching out for help to community service providers. It's important for social service agencies, hospitals, housing providers, law enforcement agencies and the criminal justice system to continue to evaluate their policies and procedures to respond in the most supportive way possible, and ensure full and equal access to services for all survivors seeking help. It is also important that service providers reduce gender stereotyping, the assumption that the partner who "appears" more masculine is the one using abusive behavior. This harmful assumption can make it difficult for victims of abuse with a masculine gender expression to feel supported and believed.
Transgender Communities
According to Julian K. Glover, a researcher at Northwestern University, African-American transgender women have an average life expectancy of 35 – 37 years old. There are many elements that contribute to this startling statistic, including underemployment, exclusion by social service providers, cultural marginalization, familial rejection and exclusion from healthcare services—as well as intimate partner violence.
In fact, the cause of death for one in six transgender individuals is being murdered by an intimate partner. A study conducted in 2015 of over 27,000 transgender people living in all 50 states found the following:
- 54% reported experiencing intimate partner violence
- 47% experienced sexual assault
- 72% of those included in the study who were also homeless reported that intimate partner violence was the reason for their homelessness.
Due to many complex barriers that transgender people (particularly, transgender women of color) face, they are often forced to stay in abusive intimate partner relationships. Forms of abuse unique to relationships where one person identifies as transgender may include:
- Threatening to "out" a transgender person's identity at the workplace or to family
- Denying that they are a "real" man or woman
- Shaming their physical features
- Intentionally calling them the wrong pronoun, or using an offensive pronoun (such as "it")
- Denying them access to starting or continuing medical treatment (especially if the medical insurance is held by the partner using abusive behavior)
You can also find the transgender-specific power and control wheel here, which further explains the tactics used to control, coerce and commit violence in relationships.
It's Up to All of Us
LGBTQ communities continue to demonstrate that love is stronger than hate. As individuals, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, we all must be part of the solution to achieve equality and safety. Straight, cisgender members of our community can make an impact by listening to the needs of LGBTQ communities, standing together and working to become allies. It is only when the majority of our community takes action that we can achieve the culture change needed to ensure justice for all in Pima County, and that starts with each of us. Becoming informed about the needs of different marginalized communities is the first step to becoming a loud, public voice for those whose needs are too often made invisible. Together, we can create safety.
Services for All at Emerge
Everyone deserves to be safe in their relationships and Emerge provides services and support to anyone experiencing domestic abuse. Our services are available to anyone regardless of gender identity, sexuality, race, nationality, religion or ability. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse and has experienced discrimination in reaching out for help, call the Emerge Hotline at 520.795.4266.
Together, Tucsonans Can End DV
Emerge isn't the solution to domestic violence (DV). The community is the solution.
October 2018 eNews (4 of 4)
There's a lot of long-awaited movement happening right now around supporting survivors of domestic abuse. Together, we can continue pushing to build momentum. We know that domestic abuse has no boundaries, and causes devastation to families across all beliefs and backgrounds. Survivors are finding the courage to use their voices. However, we can't solely lay the responsibility of ending DV on the backs of Tucson's survivors. As they tell their stories and come forward, we must all listen, believe and support them.
Similarly, while organizations like Emerge will continue to provide shelter and services to those directly impacted by domestic abuse, we cannot end the epidemic alone. People generally reach out to Emerge once significant damage has been done—but what if we could stop abuse before it starts? What if we all supported each other by offering help and creating safety? What if we taught our children about non-violence, showed them a different way of seeing gender roles, demonstrated healthy relationships and ended the intergenerational cycle of abuse? What if Emerge wasn't needed because our community was safe for everyone?
Fortunately, the work has already begun. There are beautiful acts of support happening every day. Tucson Medical Center and Banner University Medical Center, among other medical facilities, train their staff to effectively respond to and support survivors. Local law enforcement is showing up and breaking through the red tape to change long-standing practices around how they support survivors during domestic violence calls. Coaches, from the little league to the University of Arizona are conscious about the messages they give to their teams about healthy and safe behaviors. It's wonderful to see what these groups have accomplished and we can all take pride in the work.
But we can't stop there. It's time to personally take a proactive role in answering the call to end domestic abuse. As a community, we can take responsibility for the environment we create and raise our families in—and foster respect, equality and non-violence at home and in our relationships. Individuals like Jesus "Chucho" Ruiz are getting involved by taking a deep reflection of their own beliefs, as well as speaking up when they see abusive behavior and offering support and resources to survivors. Like Chucho, we can educate ourselves and rethink and challenge the messages we have received about healthy and safe relationships.
It's on us. We can consciously invite and encourage conversations about safety, gender, violence and healthy relationships at home, in the workplace and out in the community. We can volunteer. We can donate. We can reach out to the person in our lives we've been worried about. Anyone, anywhere in Tucson can make an impact in ending domestic abuse. Help put Emerge out of business by finding where you can create change and safety for all of Tucson.
Children Exposed to Abuse
Increasing Awareness & Understanding to Better Support Survivors
October 2018 eNews (3 of 4)
"Children are not just eye witnesses to domestic abuse—they are actively involved in trying to understand the abuse, predicting when it will happen, protecting themselves, their mother or their siblings, and worrying about the consequences. The focus on day to day survival may leave little room for fun and relaxation, or meeting basic needs. They grow up in a climate of anxiety, vigilance, helplessness and unpredictability; what they need is structure, to be nurtured, and to have emotional and physical safety." (Wisconsin Department of Children and Families Domestic Violence Handbook-2010).
Studies have shown that over half of the women who experience intimate partner violence have children under the age of 12. These children grow up in an environment that is unpredictable, filled with tension and anxiety and dominated by fear. A child is aware and directly impacted by any exposure to domestic abuse, even when they are still in the womb. Often, these children have also been directly harmed. It's estimated that 30 to 60 percent of parents using violence toward their partner also abuse the children in the household.
The Impact
Witnessing violence between parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior into future generations. Yelling and hitting by one parent to another may cause children to think this behavior is okay and it may occur in their own relationships as they grow older. In fact, boys who witness domestic abuse are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
Not all children exposed to violence are affected in the same way. However, children exposed to domestic abuse often experience the following:
- Increased aggression
- Anxiety, fear, confusion, grief and lack of trust
- Isolation and regression
- Bed-wetting and nightmares
- Attempts to assume adult roles
- Self-blame, guilt, shame and self-destruction
- Developmental delays, including harm to their brain development and impaired cognitive and sensory growth
- Greater risk for personality and behavioral problems, and damaged social development
Services for Children at Emerge!
At Emerge, we serve more than 600 children a year and roughly half of those staying in our emergency shelter at any given time are children. As such a vulnerable population, it's critical that children who have witnessed domestic abuse have access to support services to help them heal. Listening to them, nurturing them and creating a safe environment will help children feel safe and heal. The goal of Emerge family services is to provide a holistic approach to recovery, which includes:
- Family services that help children strengthen emotional bonds with their non-abusing parent and siblings
- Constructive, healing discussions about the abuse that they have witnessed
- Pet and art therapy sessions
- Age appropriate vocabulary to discuss the issue, as finding words to explain feelings around a traumatic experience is often difficult for children
- Activities that display healthy relationships and lessen the child's chances of becoming a part of the cycle of abuse
Myths vs. Realities
Increasing Awareness & Understanding to Better Support Survivors
October 2018 eNews (3 of 4)
It can be difficult to recognize when someone is in an unsafe and unhealthy relationship, and figure out how to best support them if they are. In order to provide meaningful support, it's important that we, as a community, have accurate information about domestic abuse. Increasing our knowledge about domestic violence also allows us to support individuals who choose to use abusive behavior by helping them understand the impact that their choices have on family, friends and the community.
Myth: Domestic abuse is always (or "only") physical abuse.
Reality: Domestic abuse happens when a person uses behaviors to control and coerce their intimate partner, and violence is only one tactic in doing so. Emotional abuse (e.g., making threats, isolating a partner from friends and family), financial abuse (e.g., preventing a partner from getting a job, controlling a partner's bank account) and psychological abuse (e.g., insults, criticism, playing "mind games") are also common tactics used to gain control over a partner. In fact, survivors sometimes report that scars from physical abuse heal faster than those from emotional abuse. That being said, the absence of physical abuse in an abusive relationship doesn't mean that it won't develop in the future. The cycle of abuse that many, but not all, domestic violence victims experience may start with criticizing and name calling, and later grow to include physical abuse.
Myth: Domestic abuse is a relationship issue, and people should seek relationship counseling
Reality: When domestic abuse is present, relationship counseling may create further danger or risk (emotionally and/or physically) for the person experiencing abuse. Domestic abuse is not a relationship issue, it's about an individual's choices and actions to gain power and control over their partner. Relationship therapy can be an important tool; however, it's only helpful in cases where both people have equal power.
Myth: If it were that bad, the person experiencing abuse would just leave.
Reality: Leaving can sometimes be dangerous and whenever possible, the person leaving should first seek support from trained professionals—like those who answer Emerge's 24/7 multilingual hotline. In some situations when a person tries to leave, the abuse or threat of abuse can escalate and they are at risk of being seriously hurt or killed. Additionally, it's often the case that there are significant barriers to leaving such as finances, childcare or isolation. It's important to shift our focus from asking "why doesn't she just leave?" and instead start asking why her partner is choosing to hurt someone they say they love.
Myth: Domestic abuse is about anger and people who get abused often provoke the actions of their partner.
Reality: Although it can appear to be an anger management issue, people who use abusive behavior have complete control over their actions and can therefore make different choices. It's common for the abusive behavior to only be directed at their partner or loved one. Most individuals who choose to abuse their partner do not display the same behavior anywhere else in their life—at work, with friends, etc. Additionally, asking what someone did to provoke their partner shifts the blame to the survivor's actions, when our focus should be on the abusive behavior. Domestic abuse is never okay. Regardless of what someone has done, it doesn't give their partner the right to emotionally or physically abuse them.
More Myths & Realities—Click here to read about more domestic abuse myths and realities.
It's Okay to Cry
Understanding & Expressing Emotions is Critical for Boys and Men
October 2018 eNews (2 of 4)
Showing Emotions & Being Authentic
Being able to recognize emotions and feelings is important for all people because it gives us the tools we need to process and deal with life events effectively. Being in touch with our feelings and emotions is also a first step in being able to show up as our true selves in everyday life and not make others responsible for our feelings.
When we can acknowledge and deal with our own feelings and act as our authentic selves, we create a space in our lives for healthy relationships rooted in equality and respect.
When Showing Emotion Is Seen as Weakness
We often see expectations from society and the media for men to always be strong, implying that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. From a very young age, boys are taught not to cry or express their feelings. In a TedTalk, Tony Porter of A Call to Men discusses how he treated his son and daughter differently when they approached him crying. To his daughter, he was an unconditional shoulder to cry on. In contrast, Porter would limit his son's ability to express his emotions through tears and insist that he "talk to him like a man."
However, it's okay, and perhaps sometimes necessary, to cry. According to Dr. Judith Orloff, "crying is essential to resolve grief […] tears help us process loss so we can keep living with open hearts. Otherwise, we are set up for depression if we suppress these potent feelings". Given that men die by suicide 3.53x more often than women, it's important for boys to learn healthy ways to deal with pain and sadness at a young age.
Emotional wounds can also turn into or be misinterpreted as anger, which is commonly dealt with through violence and aggression. We often teach young boys and men that aggression and violence are acceptable responses to anger. At Emerge, the vast majority of the people we serve are women who have experienced violence at the hands of men.
Redefining What's "Okay"
Having the tools to interpret and respond to interactions with others in a healthy and safe manner is critical to our own well-being and the well-being of those we are in relationships with. When we tell boys and young men that they're weak or out of control when they express their emotions, we take away their ability to act as their authentic selves. We set them up for a life where they shut out emotions and vulnerability.
Do you have any young men or boys in your life? Encourage them to be open about how they're feeling by showing interest when they express themselves and positive reinforcement when they open up to you about something heartfelt. As a man, being strong doesn't have to mean that you can't cry, and boys need to hear this early and often—especially from men in their lives. This is one of the simple ways we can create safety in our community for everyone.
How Many Are Affected?
Whether visible or not, the numbers indicate that someone you know has been impacted by abuse
October 2018 eNews (2 of 4)
It's Happening Around All of Us
For survivors of domestic abuse and their children, access to safety can be the difference between life and death. In Arizona in 2017, 87 people died from domestic violence-related incidents. Of those victims, 16 were in Pima County. There have been 55 domestic violence-related deaths in 2018 as of August, 14 of which were in Pima County (ACESDV.org). Studies have also shown that, out of those who were murdered by an intimate partner, few to none had reached out for help—which is why it's so critical to spread the word that services are available.
At Emerge, we work to create a safety net to help survivors find their way to a life free from abuse. Over the last ten years, Emerge:
- Responded to a 56% approximate overall increase in services
- Served 36,500 participants (5,110 of whom were men or boys and 4,380 of whom were under the age of 18 )
- Provided over 270,000 safe nights to families
- Answered 45,000 hotline calls
- Assisted 11,190 participants through community-based services
Nationally, 1 in 4 women experience domestic abuse in their lifetimes. It's also estimated that only 1 in 10 people report domestic abuse or reach out for help. It follows that in addition to the nearly 5,600 calls we received on the Emerge hotline last year, there are likely far more survivors who are still suffering in silence.
The Faces Behind the Numbers
When we look at the numbers, it's important to remember that these aren't just statistics. Domestic abuse affects women, children, men, and gender non-conforming individuals in our community at epidemic proportions. Abuse happens in heterosexual relationships as well as in same-sex relationships. Our hope is that when we, as a community, think about the sheer number of people impacted, we'll start to realize that this isn't a private matter. It's also not something that can be solved alone by more shelters, more police or more laws—those can only help after the fact.
We all must look out for each other and take a deep look at the behaviors we treat as acceptable . We must also watch for warning signs. The people you spend time with every day—your neighbor, bus driver, sister, co-worker, daughter, dentist —may need your support. If we can find the willingness to offer help, and the courage to ask for help, we can truly create a safer Tucson.
What Keeps People in Abusive Relationships?
Barriers to Leaving an Abusive Relationship
October 2018 eNews (2 of 4)
Domestic abuse is a complex issue, and there are often many different barriers to leaving an abusive relationship. Every person's situation is unique, but the most common obstacles often stem from a lack of options, and can include those listed below. It is important for family, friends and the community to make an effort to understand the reasons someone feels trapped in a relationship. By doing so, that person can feel supported in their journey to safety and independence.
- EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE: Victims sometimes become so isolated that they don't have any other close relationships outside of their abuser. This makes them feel more dependent and emotionally attached to the abuser. It also makes leaving the relationship much more frightening.
- FEAR: Fear can immobilize a victim; one may feel trapped, often torn between fear of leaving and fear of staying. These fears are very realistic, as most homicides and dangerous incidents occur after the victim ends the relationship.
- FINANCIAL DEPENDENCE: Abusers often prevent the victim from having access to the family's financial resources, making it more difficult for them to leave. Victims may have difficulty finding work, affordable housing, food, and clothing in case of separation or divorce.
- HOPE: The "good" part of the cycle may reinforce a victim's hope for change and reduce their resolve to leave. The abuser may make promises and take some action towards changing. This may give the victim hope that the abuse will stop, making them more willing to give the abuser another chance.
- HOUSING: Lack of housing alternatives forces many victims to remain where they are. Low incomes, large families, or unstable households are not attractive to potential landlords. Prior evictions or criminal charges from abusive incidents may show up on background checks.
- IMMIGRATION STATUS: When a victim is not a legal resident, the abusive partner may use this immigration status as a tactic to control the victim. The abuser could threaten to deport the victim or the victim's children, withdraw a petition to legalize the victim's immigration status, prevent the victim from learning English, or inform officers that the victim is illegal.
- ISOLATION: Victims are often not aware of their legal rights. They may not know where to turn for emotional support. A victim may feel too ashamed to tell others about the abusive
situation. Systems designed to support victims looking for help and intervention often end up victimizing them further.
- PHYSICAL ILLNESS/EXHAUSTION: Coping with abuse demands great energy. A victim may have no reserves to resist illness, or they may be trying to recover from injuries. Some victims may have a disabling condition that makes them dependent on the abuser for care.
- SELF ESTEEM AND GUILT: Abusers frequently blame the victim for the abuse, making them feel that the abuse is their fault. These victim-blaming attitudes are often reinforced by friends, family, and society. Isolation and continued abuse from an intimate partner reinforces feelings of worthlessness.
- TRADITIONAL VALUE SYSTEM: Cultural and religious influences regarding the sanctity of marriage or a committed relationship may encourage the victim to hold onto the relationship at all costs. They may have been advised by authority figures that it is their obligation to remain in the relationship.
For a printable handout, as well as a Spanish translation, click here.
Creating Safety through Visibility
Celebrating LGBTQ Pride Month
Healthy relationships are a critical component to the strength and future of our community, and should be celebrated in all forms. As a part of that community, we all have a responsibility for building a culture that supports the health and safety (physical and emotional) for every Tucsonan. This month, Emerge! celebrates Pride Month and honors LGBTQ members of our community.
Progress and Remaining Obstacles
For centuries, LGBTQ communities have bravely fought for the dignity and equality they deserve. Despite many advancements, individuals who identify as LGBTQ still face challenges and are often so marginalized that their needs become invisible. Much of the existing legislation that affect LGBTQ communities has limitations because the laws are not applicable in a universal way. For instance, although same-sex marriages are now legal, a lesbian-identified survivor who is leaving an abusive marriage may still have no rights to custody of her children if she is not the biological parent. Minorities are disproportionately affected by these types of legal loopholes, which creates a legislative culture that puts those who are already vulnerable at further risk of oppression.
The full impact of our grief from the mass shooting in Orlando this month has yet to settle in as the faces of the 49 people who lost their lives have surfaced. Emerge! stands in solidarity with all those who were so tragically impacted, and with our LGBTQ communities as we heal together.
The mass scale of this single shooting was horrific. Unfortunately, it is only one example of how violence is deeply embedded in the LGBTQ experience. As seen below, LGBT individuals are the most likely minority to be targeted for hate crimes in the United States. Statistics also show that 3 out of every 4 victims of hate violence homicides in 2013 were transgender-identified women. If you take into account the lack of accurate data available because of limited research and bias reporting, the numbers continue to grow.
Experiencing systematic violence and hate can make people susceptible to additional trauma, including extreme poverty and job discrimination. In the case of domestic abuse, LGBTQ individuals may have increased barriers to getting access to services because they are vulnerable from a lack of community support and fear of retaliation. To help offset this, anyone can and everyone should help create safety for LGBTQ communities, and the first step is knowing what the current obstacles are and how we can work together to overcome them.
Domestic Abuse in LGBTQ Relationships
The majority of LGBTQ relationships are non-abusive, but domestic abuse does happen within these communities. While nearly all forms of relationship violence are under-reported, this is especially the case for LGBTQ populations. That being said, the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey shows that bisexual women have a significantly higher risk of intimate partner violence, with rates nearly doubled compared to other populations. Because research about abuse in LGBTQ relationships is still at the beginning stages, educational and outreach efforts are too, and therefore when abuse occurs in LGBTQ relationships it can cause confusion for the individual experiencing abuse as to whether or not the behavior is normal.
The unfortunate silence surrounding the issue of domestic abuse for LGBTQ communities often results in limited access to resources for those reaching out for help. It can also create additional barriers to reaching out for help in the first place. For example,
For those who have not yet disclosed their sexuality publicly, their partner's abusive behavior may include threatening to "out" them to their family, friends or workplace.
For those who have children, their partner's abusive behavior may include threatening to take away the children. Some states do not allow same-sex parents to adopt their children, which can leave the person experiencing abuse with no legal rights should they choose to separate from the relationship.
Some may fear that bringing attention to violence in their own relationship may go public and halt progress towards equality by creating destructive stigmas of LGBTQ relationships.
Historically, LGBTQ individuals have often faced discrimination and further abuse when reaching out for help. In today's society, it's an important step for law enforcement agencies to evaluate their policies and train their officers to respond in a supportive way to all those calling upon them. By evaluating related issues, law enforcement can address issues like gender stereotyping (in other words, the assumption that the partner who "appears" more masculine is the one using abusive behavior when responding to a domestic violence call) that can cause further damage to the LGBT individual reach out for help. Hospitals, social service agencies and housing offices should also revisit and revise their policies to ensure that everyone has equal access to the critical services they provide.
Transgender and Gender-Nonconforming Populations
The transgender community continues to battle discrimination against their ability to express their gender identity. The homicide rate of transgender people is at an all-time high, and domestic abuse in relationships where one or both partners identify as transgender is rarely discussed. In facing our society's current lack of understanding, many who identify as transgender become isolated and may also experience low self-esteem from public disapproval. The resulting shortage of support could cause even more barriers to resources, forcing an individual who identifies as transgender to stay in an abusive relationship.
Forms of abuse that are unique to relationships where one person identifies as transgender may include:
- Denying that the transgender-identified partner is a "real" man or woman
- Shaming the transgender-identified partner's physical features
- Calling the transgender-identified person the wrong pronoun, or an offensive pronoun (such as "it")
- Denying the transgender-identified partner's access to starting or continuing medical treatment (especially if the medical plan is held by the partner using abusive behavior)
It's Up to Us
LGBTQ communities continue to demonstrate that love is stronger than hate. As individuals, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, we all must be part of the solution to achieve equality and safety. We all must listen to the needs of LGBTQ communities, and stand together in solidarity. It is only when the majority of our community takes action that we can achieve the culture change needed to ensure justice for all Tucsonans, and that starts with each of us. We thank you for being a loud, public voice for those whose needs are too often disregarded. Together, we can create safety.
Services For All at Emerge!
Everyone deserves to be safe in their relationships and Emerge! provides services and support to anyone experiencing domestic abuse. While the majority of the people seeking our services are women and their children, our services are available to anyone regardless of gender identity, sexuality, race, nationality, religion, or ability. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse and has experienced discrimination in reaching out for help, call the Emerge! Hotline at 520.795.4266.
Intimate Partner Stalking
Most Commonly Committed by Current or Former Partners
February 2016 eNews
Having your daily activities monitored by a current or former partner is frightening and dangerous. While stalking can often be romanticized, it is a behavior that can escalate to more serious and dangerous acts. In fact, being stalked may indicate that someone is at risk of being seriously harmed or even killed.
Did you know?
- 74% of those stalked by a former intimate partner also reported violence or coercive control during the relationship
- 81% of women stalked by a former or current partner were also physically assaulted by that partner
- 76% of women killed by an intimate partner had also been stalked by that partner
Stalking is a dangerous behavior and can also be a crime, and should never be taken lightly. If you have concerns about intimate partner stalking, Emerge! can help. Call the hotline to speak with someone who can assist you with safety planning (unless you are in immediate danger, then call 911 first). We also offer other services such as help with obtaining an order of protection, emotional support and assistance accessing other community resources to help you create safety in your life.
Seeds of Hope
Planting a Garden Together
November 2015 eNews
One of the greatest impacts of domestic abuse for survivors is a loss of self-confidence and self-esteem; both of which are critical to a healthy personal identity. This loss of identity can mean that a survivor may struggle with conflict or asking for what they need in relationships. Over time, for many survivors, this results in losing touch with their own needs and goals. For the women staying in the Emerge! shelter, both the kitchen and the task of feeding themselves and others may trigger upsetting flashbacks. For many women, part of their emotional/psychological abuse may have included having their cooking skills ridiculed, they may have had limited food or there might have been incidents of physical abuse in the kitchen.
Emerge! saw the opportunity to create a nutrition program that would take some of these stress points and turn them into growth opportunities, while also strengthening the sense of community at shelter. What resulted for participants has been an extraordinary example of holistic healing and self-discovery.
Last month, the women and children living at the Emerge! shelter, along with shelter staff, took the nutrition program to the next level by creating gardening beds, laying irrigation lines and planting hundreds of tiny seeds. A sense of community began to develop as the women worked together, laughed and got their hands dirty in the freshly tilled soil.
Amidst the general commotion at shelter – which, on any given day, houses about fifty women and children who may have little in common but having experienced abuse – participants found peace and calm tending the garden together. Some of the women don't speak English, but were still able to connect with the rest of the group as they planted and taught each other words, such as "radish" and "cauliflower."
The gardens are now beginning to flourish, as is the children's interest in the sprouting plants. For the children staying at shelter, the garden is an opportunity for them to not only connect with the natural world, but feel the delight of watching the garden grow. Some have even joined the "Garden Club," and are currently working on painting plant markers for the new plants.
For the families staying at the Emerge! shelter, gardening is a way for them to re-connect with themselves and foster relationships with each other, which can increase their self-esteem and buildconfidence. For them, the garden is a healing place.
Children Exposed to Abuse
Looking Out for this Vulnerable Population
October Educational eNews Campaign – Email 4 of 5
"Children are not just eye witnesses to domestic abuse – they are actively involved in trying to
understand the abuse, predicting when it will happen, protecting themselves, their mother or their siblings,
and worrying about the consequences. The focus on day to day survival may leave little room for fun and relaxation,
or meeting basic needs. They grow up in a climate of anxiety, vigilance, helplessness and unpredictability;
what they need is structure, to be nurtured, and to have emotional and physical safety."
(Wisconsin Department of Children and Families Domestic Violence Handbook-2010).
Children are often hidden victims of domestic abuse. Studies have shown that over half of the women who experience intimate partner violence have children under the age of 12. These children grow up in an environment that is unpredictable, filled with tension and anxiety, and dominated by fear. A child is aware and directly impacted by any exposure to domestic abuse, even when they are still in the womb. Often, these kids have also been directly harmed. It's estimated that 30 to 60 percent of parents using violence towards their partner also abuse the children in the household.
The Impact
Witnessing violence between one's parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior into future generations. Yelling and hitting by one parent to another may cause children to think this behavior is okay and it may occur in their own relationships as they grow older. In fact, boys who witness domestic abuse are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
Not all children exposed to violence are affected equally or in the same way. However, children exposed to domestic abuse often experience:
- Increased aggression
- Anxiety, fear, confusion, grief, and lack of trust
- Isolation and regression
- Bed-wetting and nightmares
- Attempts to assume adult roles
- Self-blame, guilt, shame and self-destruction
- Developmental delays, including harm to their brain development and impaired cognitive and sensory growth
- Greater risk for personality and behavioral problems, and damaged social development
Services for Children at Emerge!
At Emerge!, 40% of the participants we serve are children. Intervention and support services to promote healing for those children who have witnessed abuse are critical to this this vulnerable population. Listening to them, nurturing them and making them feel safe will help kids heal. The goal of Emerge! family services is to provide a holistic approach to recovery, which includes the following:
- Family services that help children strengthen emotional bonds with their non-abusing parent and siblings;
- Engaging children in constructive, healing discussions about the abuse that they have witnessed;
- Providing dance, pet and art therapy sessions;
- Teaching age appropriate vocabulary to discuss the issue, as finding words to explain feelings around a traumatic experience is often difficult for children;
- Activities that display healthy relationships and lessen the child's chances of becoming a part of the cycle of abuse.
Secondary Survivors
Caring for Someone Who's Suffering From Abuse
October Educational eNews Campaign – Email 4 of 5
Feelings of guilt, frustration, shame, powerlessness and grief are commonly experienced by survivors of domestic abuse, but they aren't the only ones to have these emotions. Knowing that some you care about is being abused can be overwhelming and frightening, which is why friends and family are often greatly impacted by their loved one's abuse. In fact, many friends and family members can experience a range of emotions that are similar to what a survivor experiences in an abusive relationship. These feelings can often include anger, guilt and powerlessness.
It is important when we are concerned about someone's safety to offer help. However, trying to "control," dictate or convince someone to do something, even if we truly feel it will help them, adds pressure to their situation. It may also inadvertently increases the negative emotions they are already feeling from their abusive relationship, such as guilt, shame and fear. These emotions may result in a survivor withdrawing even more from the people who are trying to protect and support them.
The 24-hour bilingual Emerge! hotline is available to not only those who have experienced abuse, but also their friends and family. The hotline can be helpful for learning how to best speak with and support someone about the abuse they are suffering from, as well finding out what resources are available to them within the community. The hotline is also a resource for friends and family who feel overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and need a supportive place to talk and process their emotions. If you or a friend have questions or need to talk, the hotline is there for you. Call 520.795.4266.
No One Deserves to Be Abused
Building a Safer Community, Together
October Educational eNews Campaign – Email 3 of 5
Defining Safety
Emerge! defines safety as a life free from abuse, and each individual has their own interpretation of what it means for them to feel safe. Put simply, safety is a basic human right that all people deserve. It's important to keep in mind that emotional and physical safety are equally important. When someone feels emotionally unsafe, they suffer from fear, uncertainly and anxiety. Living under these conditions makes it difficult to feel comfortable or enjoy day-to-day activities, let alone be productive at work or at home. Over time, a person can completely lose their identity, sense of control and self-esteem.
The Community's Role in Creating Safety
Emerge! helps those who have been affected by domestic abuse find safety by providing crisis intervention and support services. While access to these services is critical, the harsh reality is that they are only half of the equation. For truly effective intervention and prevention of abuse within our community, individuals must also educate themselves about the prevalence and complexities of abuse, how to help someone who's being abused, as well as how to be a loud, public voice for cultural change.
It's estimated that one in four women will suffer from domestic abuse in their lifetimes. The survivors are not faceless – they are our mothers, our sisters, our neighbors, co-workers, and friends. The same is true for those who are abusing their loved ones. The individuals and families impacted by abuse belong to our community – we know them and we can help them. As individual community members, we must take a proactive role in creating safety.
The most important thing we can do is to remember that it's okay to ask help and it's okay to offer help. We can intervene and offer help to those currently suffering from abuse by:
- Learning how to identify the signs of abuse
- Knowing the available community resources
- Offering help to someone suffering from domestic abuse
We can also help create a safe community that does not tolerate abuse in the following ways:
- Speak up by clearly and frequently verbalizing our intolerance for abusive and coercive behaviors
- Set an example by role-modeling healthy and respectful relationships and gender roles for men and women
- Helping those who use abusive behavior to get the support they need to become safe and healthy partners.
The Cycle of Abuse
Learning to Recognize the Patterns
October Educational eNews Campaign – Email 2 of 5
Most abusive relationships don't start out that way. In fact, those who use abusive behaviors will often attract their partners by purposefully displaying extreme kindness and over-the-top gestures of affection in the early stages of their relationships. This initial dating period is often what keeps those experiencing abuse from leaving the relationship. They remember how good things once were and are hopeful they will return that way.
Though not all abusive relationships will fit this pattern, the diagram below represents the reoccurring cycle of behavior that's frequently seen in abusive relationships. Within the cycle, the person using abusive behavior displays affectionate, remorseful and calm behaviors in-between periods of tension that grow into physical, sexual or emotional abuse. This can sometimes causes the survivor to focus the majority of their attention on avoiding conflict and tension causing situations, so much so that they can lose focus of their own needs.
The Cycle Over Time
The cycle is fluid and constant, but each couple's situation is unique and the length of each phase can change. Over time, abusive incidents tend to become more severe and occur more frequently, and a couple may go through the entire cycle several times a day. Additionally, as time goes on, the honeymoon stage will sometimes disappear altogether. The diagram below represents the honeymoon stage getting shorter and the abusive behavior getting worse.
Domestic Violence Doesn't Discriminate
Having an Open Mind is Key to Helping Our Community
August 2015 eNews
The harsh reality is that domestic abuse is happening all around us – to our friends, loved ones, co-workers and neighbors. People of all walks of life come to Emerge! for help and support. Domestic abuse has no boundaries within gender, religion, race, color, ethnicity, sexual orientation, economic status, age or disability. It can happen to anyone at any time.
The idea that abuse can only happen to certain people in a certain kind of situation can create beliefs that further isolate those who need help. For example, it could easily be assumed that a well-established female executive at a top company would never experience or tolerate abuse. Assuming that it could not happen, may mean that she may not be believed. It may also mean that she would feel embarrassed and fearful that her staff and co-workers view of her would change –from savvy and resilient to weak and easily manipulated. These fears could become a barrier to her leaving or asking for support.
When someone gathers the courage to reach out for help, it is important that the response be supportive and encouraging, as this can impact a person's decision in moving forward. In fact, it is common that the fear of how others will respond prevents a person from ever seeking out help at all. Shame, humiliation and even denial are common emotions for someone experiencing domestic abuse. Afraid of hearing, "how could you let this happen to you," can lead some victims to become socially isolated in an effort to hide what may be happening from friends and family.
Take Action to Create Safety!
As a community, we can provide a loud and clear message that it's not the victims fault. There is no shame in their situation or in asking for help. If this message is not made undeniably apparent in our community, someone wanting to reach out for help may never know it's safe to do so. Together, we can help people find the strength and confidence within themselves to move from victim to survivor. We can do this by both understanding and voicing that abuse can happen to anyone, and that no one deserves to be abused.
Support is Only A Phone Call Away
If you've reached out to someone for help in the past but are still in need of support, don't give up! You deserve a life free from abuse. When you're ready, a bilingual Emerge! representative is standing by for you 24-hours a day, even if you just have questions. The Emerge! hotline can be reached at 520.795.4266 or 1.888.428.0101.
Barriers to Leaving an Abusive Relationship
July 2015 eNews
Domestic abuse is a complex issue, and there are often many different barriers to leaving an abusive relationship. Every situation is unique, but some common obstacles can include isolation, custody of children, safety concerns, belief systems about divorce being taboo, beliefs in gender roles within relationships, cultural messages about relationships, religious beliefs, or to put it simply, a lack of options.
This past year there were several high profile figures charged with domestic violence. The media attention given to the issue at the national level created an opportunity for an impactful conversation about abuse. One example of this was when Ray Rice, former NFL Baltimore Ravens Running Back, assaulted his then fiancé in a Las Vegas elevator. In response to the publicity surrounding this case, the community created the social media campaign #WhyIStayed to voice their outrage and bring to light the many barriers to leaving. The video below features Meredith Vieira, formerly of "The Today Show," discussing her encounter with domestic violence and why she stayed.
It is important for family, friends and the community to make an effort to understand the reasons someone feels trapped in a relationship. By doing so, that person can feel supported in their journey to safety and independence. Check out our website for some additional examples of what keeps people in abusive relationships.
What About the Person Choosing to be Abusive?
While learning about the barriers to leaving can help us be more supportive to someone experiencing abuse, it is important that we also work together to stop placing responsibility on the victim and instead find ways to change the social structure that allows domestic abuse to continue. This includes significant belief and behavior changes for the small minority of men who use abusive behaviors, and a great responsibility for society to hold them accountable in order to create safety for women and girls in our community.
That accountability includes clearly and frequently verbalizing intolerance for abusive and coercive behaviors, providing support for men in getting the help they need to become healthy and safe partners, and role-modeling healthy and respectful male gender roles for the boys in our lives. This message of accountability is one of the most important components of preventing abuse within our community and equally important as the message to victims that we support them and help is available.
Myths vs. Realities
Increasing Awareness & Understanding to Better Support Survivors
June 2015 eNews
It can be difficult to recognize when someone might be in an unsafe and unhealthy relationship. In order to provide meaningful support, it's important that we, as a community, have accurate information about domestic abuse. Increasing our knowledge about domestic violence also allows us to support individuals who choose to use abusive behavior by helping them understand the impact that their choices have on family, friends and the community.
More Myths & Realities – Want to read about more domestic abuse myths and realities? Click here.
Children & Domestic Abuse
Every Child Has the Right to be in a Safe & Loving Home
May 2015 eNews
Each year, thousands of American children witness domestic violence within their families. In fact, slightly more than half of female victims of intimate partner violence live in households with children under age 12.
The Impact
It is often assumed that young children are unaware of their surroundings. However, studies have shown that children of all ages are impacted by exposure to abusive households, even when they are still in the womb.
In the short term, children exposed to domestic abuse may exhibit:
- Increased aggression
- Anxiety, fear and lack of trust
- Confusion and grief
- Isolation and regression
- Bed-wetting and nightmares
- Attempts to assume adult roles
- Self-blame, guilt and shame
- Self-destruction
Long term effects may include:
- Developmental delays, including harm to brain development and impaired cognitive and sensory growth in small children;
- Greater risk for personality and behavioral problems, and damaged social development;
- Becoming the next generation to enter the cycle of abuse – the single best predictor of children becoming either perpetrators or victims of domestic violence later in life is whether or not they grow up in a home where there is domestic violence.
Services for Children at Emerge!
Emerge! helps children who have been exposed to domestic abuse by:
- Providing family services that help children strengthen bonds with their non-abusing parent and siblings;
- Engaging children in constructive, healing discussions about the abuse that they have witnessed;
- Providing dance, pet and art therapy sessions;
- Teaching age appropriate vocabulary to discuss the issue, as finding words to explain feelings around a traumatic experience is often difficult for children;
- Helping the non-abusive parent with divorce and custody issues access legal services if there are any safety risks for their children;
- Discussing what healthy relationships look like in order to lessen the child's chances of becoming a part of the cycle of abuse.
Financial Abuse
Using Money and Resources for Power and Control
April 2015 eNews
Financial abuse can be used to trap someone in a relationship by limiting resources that would allow them to be independent. Although most people think violence is always involved, financial abuse is also a component of domestic abuse. As with any form of abuse, it's about power and control in a relationship.
Financially abusive behavior can include:
- Controlling how money is spent;
- Withholding money or "giving an allowance;"
- Running up unpaid debt in a partner's name;
- Stealing a partner's identity, money, credit or property.
In healthy relationships:
- Financial decisions are made together;
- Monthly finances might be managed by just one partner, though, this is agreed upon by both;
- Access to financial information is available to both partners;
- Both partners are allowed to work or earn money;
- Each partner has a say in financial decisions, regardless of who earns more.
Getting Help:
- Emerge! helps people break free from financial abuse through:
- Safety planning to help separate finances before leaving an abusive relationship;
- Teaching life-skills literacy – including budgeting assistance, education about renting and home ownership, assistance with employment searches and educational options;
- Assistance with accessing financial resources – including food stamps, cash assistance, bankruptcy support and child support enforcement;
- Support with establishing independent housing.


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Rhythm Inc. featuring Nevada
Soul rising
Type: Single
Format: 12" vinyl
Label: WEA Records
Catalogue ref.: SAM1687
Release date: 1995
Country: United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
Promo: This item was for promotional use only and not for resale.
Side 1
Side 2
Side 3
Side 4
Occasionally the tracklisting printed on the sleeve art of a release isn't 100% accurate. Tracks may be missing, mixes unspecified or misnamed. For this reason a more accurate actual tracklisting is shown alongside the printed tracklisting.


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Welcome! I am Leah DeCesare, owner of Mother's Circle, LLC, parenting and novel writer, blogging about the adventures of everyday family life.
Since my work focus for the last thirteen years has been pregnancy and babies and my home focus is about my three kiddos (elementary school-aged through teens), I write about parenting on the continuum from the earliest parenting decisions to navigating the toddler and teens years – and everything in between.
Please like Mother's Circle, LLC on Facebook or follow my blog via email to be encouraged and uplifted as a Mom. Everyone parents in her own way, but we all need tools, tips, ideas, motivation, creativity and advice on ways to handle everything that comes our way as Moms. Join in the discussion and feel free to ask me a Dear Leah parenting question.
Professionally, after receiving a BS with a triple major in Advertising, Marketing and French from Syracuse University, I worked in buying, special event planning and PR in New York City until our first child was born. Her birth and the new Mom's group I belonged to planted the seed that changed my career path. Since 2002, I have earned certifications as a Birth Doula, Postpartum Doula, Childbirth Educator, Postnatal Educator and Lactation Counselor.
I am married (19 years) and the mother of three spirited and happy children. I feel privileged to serve women and families during the special and challenging time of adding a new baby to the family. Motherhood and parenthood are transformative and personal journeys and my goal is to help you as you develop and adapt your own parenting style, whether as your doula, or as I write for you via my blog.
I love learning – especially about birth, babies and breastfeeding! Through Mother's Circle doula and education services and my writing, I am happy to support your family through this life-changing time of pregnancy, birth and postpartum. With three children of my own, school-aged through teenager, I marvel at the front row seats we have to witness human growth and development.
As mothers and parents, we need to adapt, change and grow along with our children, it's a dynamic and often challenging process; it's an odyssey that, once we become a parent, doesn't end. Exploring ourselves as we find balance and figure out how to best parent each of our kiddos is an ongoing adventure!
I maintain professional memberships with DONA International, International Childbirth Education Association (ICEA), and Rhode Island Birth Network (RIBN). I am co-founder and co-president of the statewide professional doula network, Doulas of Rhode Island (DoRI) and I served as the Northeast Regional Director for DONA International. My local volunteer activities include working with my children's schools and with Families First Rhode Island as well as serving on the boards of Kappa Kappa Gamma Alumnae Association of Rhode Island and at our church. I love practicing yoga, gardening, playing tennis, traveling and reading. I also love writing and am proud to have two articles published in the International Doula journal.
Education and Training – Leah DeCesare
Syracuse University, BS, Advertising, Marketing and French
- The Academy of Lactation Policy and Practice, Inc. (ALPP) – Certified Lactation Counselor, December 2010
- DONA International Certified Birth Doula, February 2010
- DONA International Certified Postpartum Doula, June 2008
- International Childbirth Educators Association (ICEA) Certified Postnatal Educator, October 2006
- Dancing Thru Pregnancy® Certified Pre/Postnatal Fitness Instructor/Trainer, April 2003
- Academy of Certified Birth Educators Certified Childbirth Educator, September 2002
Continuing Education:
- DONA International Conference, July 2012
- DONA Birth Doula Training, second time taking the 27 hour workshop, June 2012
- Partners in Perinatal Health Conference, May 2012
- Boot Camp for Birth Visionaries with Karen Brody, May 2012
- Nursing Mother's Council 2012 Breastfeeding Conference, March 2012
- Kids and Sleep, Teens and Sleep, Sleep Development, Women & Infants Hospital, January 2011
- Rhode Island Birth Network Sleep Panel Discussion, April 2011
- Teaching Tools for Inspiring Women to Trust Their Birth Process, December 2011
- DONA International Conference, July 2011
- Partners in Perinatal Health Conference, May 2011
- Compassionate Caregiving When a Baby Dies, October 2010
- Current Obstetric Practices and Procedures, September 2010
- Partners in Perinatal Health Conference, May 2010
- Baby-Led Breastfeeding: From Theory to Practice, September 2009
- DONA International Birth Doula Workshop, September 2009
- New Breastfeeding Skills for the 21st Century, August 2009
- Partners in Perinatal Health Conference, May 2009
- Boston Association for Childbirth Education, The Basics of Breastfeeding, February 2009
- American Association of Birth Centers Annual Birth Institute: What is Optimal?, September 2008
- How to Start a Birth Center Workshop, September 2008
- Partners in Perinatal Health Conference, May 2008
- Emotionally Charged Issues in Obstetric Care, April 2008
- High Risk Obstetrics: Current Trends, Treatments & Issues, October 2007
- American Heart Association, CPR Certification Course, September 2007, recertified March 2012
- DONA International Postpartum Doula Workshop, June 2007
- ICEA International Convention, October 2006
- ICEA Postnatal Educator Training Workshop, October 2003
- ICEA International Convention, October 2003
- Birth and Beginnings Education, September 2002


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It's hard to be honest when The Illness reaches this level of intensity. I've been told the despair and hopelessness are too scary, too intimidating, too uncomfortable to witness and cause a ricochet of helplessness and a drive to fix me. So, I don't share this very much, even though it's the time I need human contact the most.
When I am at my worst, the cost of asking for support is more than I can afford. The illness has already rubbed away my self-worth, so in my mind I don't deserve it. And as my thoughts become more distorted, I imagine the dread my friends and family must feel when they hear my voice on the phone or see me drive up to their homes. Not again. I don't want to spend the last bit of goodwill I may have with these people. What if I get worse and have nothing left in my account with them?
The other cost is trying to endure the inevitable Question—What can I do to help? When the illness gets this severe, there's no way to answer that question, no way to even consider it. What I need is whatever they want to do. I can't possibly tell them what that might be. I can't tell them what they're capable of or willing to try. I need them to figure it out. I need them to offer. Because I'm lost in here. If I could find my own way out, I would, believe me.
And if it's hard to be honest during the worst of an episode, it's impossible to tell the truth. I can't trust whatever my brain labels as The Truth and have learned that speaking it out loud only terrifies my loved ones and lands me in the hospital. Truth morphs to the reality of the moment, and that is in constant flux during a severe episode. So I try to ride on top of the Dark Absolutes that seem so inevitable. I try not to pick up the words my mother said once when I was very sick—This is not a life—and turn it into an anthem.
Last night, driving in my truck, crying so hard I couldn't see, I took a chance with a new friend. She knew about my illness, and had always been very kind, but I'd not dipped into the equity we'd built up. She took me in without any sign of fear or horror and just chatted about "normal things." She offered her time, and her presence, and a simple way to distract me from myself. I couldn't concentrate very well, but that didn't matter. The sound of her voice, the taste of the iced coffee she gave me, the sense of being safe pushed back the darkness so that I could go home and sleep.
And while I was terrified to ask Penny for help, I knew I had to. I knew I wouldn't survive the night without reaching out to someone. And if I could just risk the costs involved, I could hang on until the illness shifted. Because is always does. That is an absolute truth.


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The New Sugar and Spice: A Recipe for Bolder Baking
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Raise your desserts to a complete new level of taste with The New Sugar & Spice, a collection of more than eighty exclusive, unexpected, and uniformly delicious recipes for spice-centric sweets. Veteran baker Samantha Seneviratne's recipes will open your eyes to a globe of baking prospects: Her spicy, pepper-flecked Chile-Chocolate Truffles prove that heat and sweet truly do go hand-in-hand, and a fresh batch of aromatic, cinnamon-laced Maple Sticky Buns will have the whole loved ones racing into the kitchen. Uncover new recipes from around the globe, such as Sri Lankan Love Cake or Swedish-inspired Saffron Currant Braid. Or, give your classic standbys a daring upgrade, this kind of as producing Raspberry Shortcakes with zingy Double Ginger Biscuits. Filled with fascinating histories, origin stories, and progressive utilizes for the world's most enticing spices—including vanilla, cinnamon, peppercorns, and cardamom —The New Sugar & Spice ensures that dessert will be the most talked-about part of your meal.
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If you are an email marketer who is doing traditional "batch and blast" email marketing, now's a good time to start segmenting and sending triggered emails. Doing this allows you to send more relevant emails and get a better response from your subscribers.Most Email Service Providers (ESPs) have tools that make it easy to segment your list and schedule triggered emails based on certain criteria. In addition, email reports generate specific subscribers who performed specific actions (e.g., clicked on a link) and other data very useful in targeting your emails.Segmenting will help you target your emails and get you far better outcomes. A lot of people hesitate to start because they are busy and think it will take a lot of time and effort. The reality is you can start with some basic segmenting and extend it from there.Getting StartedLet's say you are in the wine business and you have a field in your database that delineates general palate preference: "dry," "sweet," and "both." You have another field that delineates wine color preference: "red," "white," and "both."To target those likely to respond to your message, you would use the filtering feature provided by your ESP to choose those who have "dry" selected in the palate field and "red" selected in the color field. You could also expand your reach by selecting subscribers who have selected "both" in the palate and color fields.Do not send to those who like only "sweet" or only "white" as they are unlikely to respond well to your message. They key to targeting is to include those likely to be interested and exclude those likely to be indifferent (at best) to your message.Use Your ReportsMost ESPs provide good reporting on the outcome of your emails: opens, click-through rate (CTR), bounces (both hard and soft), unsubscribes, complaints, and delivery reports. You can get the raw numbers and drill down to get the specific subscribers who performed the specific behavior.If you find that certain subscribers have clicked on a specific link in your email, you can be reasonably sure they have some interest in what you were offering at the other end of that link. Send them relevant emails.You can do the same sort of thing for open rates and target based on who opened a specific email. Again, send them relevant emails.The converse is also undefined. If you see recipients on your list who rarely open your emails or click on your links, you might need to get their attention again with some fresh approaches.Always review your reports carefully both to monitor your results and to determine if there are ways you could use the information to more effectively target your emails.Triggered EmailsMost ESPs have a feature called triggers (autoresponders) that enable you to send emails based on dates or at certain intervals from the time the subscriber joined your list (sometimes called "drip marketing").Many email marketers send out promotions ahead of subscribers' birthdays and anniversaries. This is the very definition of a relevant email: it arrives at the right time with the right message.With triggers, be careful to avoid sending people too many emails in too short a time, lest your subscribers suffer from email marketing fatigue. This condition is only treatable by ratcheting back your email frequency a bit.The fact is, without busting your budget or using up all your time, these methods can help you significantly improve response to your email marketing campaigns and build stronger relationships by sending relevant, timely messages. If Henry Ford were an email marketer today, even he would agree.
About the AuthorNeil Anuskiewicz the Business Development Director for the StreamSend Email Marketing service.


text: Under 12s at Hutton for combined Peter Coe Cup/John Burrows Memorial Cup Match 29 May 2017 We won - easily!. The lads were a joy to watch and it was hard to believe these young players had such strength in their batting, bowling and throwing in. Awesome! Matt Pryor is very grateful to Craig and Barry for all their help. Top Row: William Dunleavy, James MacCullum, Robbie Morris, Danny Brett, Max Toolan. Bottom Row: Bradley Tye. Jamie Kirby, Luke Richards (Capt), Josh Kirby, Dillon Small.


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You are here: Home - Nike Air Max 1 Hyperfuse the leachate decreased with increasing time
Nike Air Max 1 Hyperfuse the leachate decreased with increasing time
A verifiable image secret sharing scheme, which is based on the Thien-Lin scheme and the intractability of the discrete logarithm, is proposed in this paper. The new scheme can identify the cheaters no matter if she/he is the original secret image holder or the participant; because each participant chooses her/his own secret shadow by her/himself, the new system doesn't need a security channel; Due to the same fact, the secret shadow of each participant can be reused. In addition, the size of each shadow image, same as Nike Air Max 1 Hyperfuse the Thien-Lin scheme, is smaller than that of the original secret image. Long-term leaching experiments were done using aquifer rocks of the Aquitaine Basin, ranging in age from Santonian to upper Eocene. Leachates were sampled after one hour, one day, one week, and one month, and were analyzed for U concentrations and activity ratios. Overall, U contents in the leachate decreased with increasing time. U activity Nike Air Force 1 Uk Cheap ratios were characteristic of each aquifer rock. Only slight variations, when present, were found between the one-week and the one-month leachates. In most cases, the short-lived leachates (one hour, one day) displayed U activity ratios closer to the equilibrium value.