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It was an ideal British summer festival evening, courtesy of the most desirable star at any outdoors gathering in the Albion the Sun (the celestial body not the tabloid paper). Though it had already jetted off from the festival grounds, el sols rare presence was still felt and seen everywhere precious warmth was lingering in the air and splashes of crimson and gold turned the sky into an abstract painting youd actually love having on your wall. Cocooned in the refined luxuries of one of the most middle class festival in Britain, if not the world, a mix of human content were aggregating politely around the main stage, where a hot new folkotronica band were blasting out their experimental sounds. Slightly away from all the action, my six-year-old son and I were sitting cross-legged on the grass, facing each other, while my husband and our 3 year-old daughter went off to get some food.
Having exposed our urbanite children to a day of telluric activities such as stone-carving, basket weaving and bow making, I felt quite satisfied with myself as a parent. Being more used to scooting alongside busy city streets inhaling exhaust fumes, it was a welcome change to see our children run around a quaint village fête environment. We pretty much gave up on trying to see any bands during the day, so that our kids could craft their hearts out and delight in organic ice-creams, while we praised their creative efforts and hovered nearby, away from all the musical fun, ready to attend to their whims. Sometimes being a parent feels like being someones slave, only instead of hating your master, you absolutely love them. At the end of the day, all that was required from my son to continue feeding my self-image of a good parent doing the best for him is to just look happy. When you make sacrifices you need to know they are worth it. Unfortunately, to my disappointment my sons expression was not as jolly as I would have expected it to be.
I was aware that he must have been quite tired after such a busy day, so I instantly attributed his slightly sad expression to that. I tried to engage him in some fun conversation, but N. wasnt that responsive. He looked quite pensive and visibly more and more upset. I gave him a hug and asked him what he was thinking and feeling, I was slightly disappointed that he was in a grumpy mood after what we thought was an idyllic day, but such is one of the main laws of parenthood the more you bend backwards to please your child, the more unsatisfied they seem to be. However, N. wasnt being a spoilt brat about to throw a tantrum. Feeling stronger in my embrace, he got courage to start expressing his thoughts and this is the general gist of what came of out him:
Mummy, why are humans so stupid? They are cutting trees, making too many cars, which pollute the air, and making animals extinct! And they are killing each other! They are making wars around the world! Like this we will become extinct too. Like dinosaurs. Why are humans doing it? Why? All humans care about is money and nothing else. They are so stupid. I hate humans.
I wish I could have told him that hes just tired and exaggerating and that everything is actually fine and is going to be even better as humanity continues on its glorious path of progress and that he should stop worrying about all of this and have a milkshake instead. For lack of an immediate decent intellectual response, I resorted to an emotional one: I gave him a tight squeeze and told him that I love him, my mind racing for what to say to a new being that I have brought into this completely mad even if beautiful reality.
You are right, son. Humans are stupid. We are destroying our world, and not only polluting the air and cutting down the trees, which is leading to global warming, but also making our water and food toxic. Yes, we are making many animals extinct, sometimes through destroying their habitats, sometimes, because we like to kill animals for fun. Also we farm animals in cruel conditions often injecting hormones into them and feeding them with parts of themselves and then slaughter them for food, which is ultimately bad not only for the environment but also for us. As you can imagine eating our toxic food and drinking our toxic water and living in our polluted atmosphere is not making us that healthy, which is very convenient for the pharmaceutical industry that makes a lot of money out of our illnesses, feeding us chemicals, which suppress some symptoms but create other problems. Our knowledge of natural healing has practically been eliminated, as medicine, alongside other sciences, is now run by the funding of corporations, which operate within a philosophy of reality that views humans in a very limited way, as biological machines. Not that you get better philosophy taught at school, where education is a carefully-calibrated system of indoctrination, which works alongside media propaganda, to brainwash people and keep them blind to all injustices and hardships in the world. Governmental policy often reflects interests of a small group of people, whose power and wealth are increasing every year, generally at the expense of other people. In the meantime, the rampage for resources continues around the world. Wars are orchestrated on purpose, often using radical extremists within proxy armies, and these wars often kill millions of innocent civilians and force millions of others to migrate in hope for a better living. Movements that rise up to fight these malevolent global powers are demonised and dissolved. Leaders who attempt to address these injustices and crimes are instantly ostracised, ridiculed and vilified with the help of the lackey media. People who attempt to expose the shadow mechanisms of these powers are arrested or detained. And while all of this insanity is going on the majority of people are sleep-walking through their reality, spending most of their lives slaving away for this power structure in order to purchase a lot of unnecessary goods, the want for which is inculcated in them by incessant advertising, while in their spare time they entertain themselves on various screens, obsessing about celebrities and fictional worlds, thereby perpetrating the whole cycle of destruction with their inactivity and ignorance. So yes, son, you are right humans are stupid and you are right for hating us.
This is what I may have said to my son, if he wasnt only a six year old and I didnt think that already having war and destruction of the environment on his mind is too much for his growing consciousness. I dont want him to turn into a misanthrope, to be angry and disillusioned. So far, aside from his occasional outburst such as this one, he is a jolly curious passionate character and I want him to continue being excited about life and to have hope. So instead of my hardened realist tirade, I continued hugging him and told him that even though I cannot know for sure, I hope that some humans are not so stupid or are smartening up and waking up and that there will be more and more of these people and that eventually humans will find a way of saving their world, and use their intelligence, emotional and spiritual resources, as well as technology, to clean up their environment, while starting to treat each other and the animals with care and respect. This idealistic response served the job of calming my son down and once my husband and my daughter re-joined us, the tears were dry and we managed to at least partially enjoy our evening within our privileged convivial atmosphere.
This was about nine months ago now, but I keep going back to that day, as a crucial moment in my life, when I felt the deep resonance of the question What legacy will we leave for our children? on my own skin. While each emotionally and mentally adjusted parent will always strive to do the best for his/her child, in the context of a global crisis we are facing, it is not enough anymore to focus on the personal welfare (be that of a family or a small group like community or nation) without considering our collective interests as a species.
As this metaphorical festival memory will always remind me, technology has made sure that no paradise on this planet can be shielded from wider world problems. We cannot cocoon ourselves and our children from global issues, as our awareness of them has been expanding exponentially since the invention of the Internet and children get exposed to them at a younger and younger age. Even if we manage to block ourselves and our children off informationally, thereby decreasing the potentially negative psychological affects, we will still be exposed to the consequences of global problems, be that a threat of carcinogenic pollution or the risk of flooding due to global warming or a danger of a terrorist attack.
Our ignorance will not save us from global challenges, it will actually exacerbate the problems further as personal complacency translates to collective complacency, which is precisely what led us to the state that we are in. Driven by personal goals and interests, humans are causing havoc as a whole. Even though humanity has much to celebrate, especially in terms of its artistic, scientific, technological achievements, with all this fanfare we are actually self-destructing as a species, as well as putting other species and our planet under a huge risk.
While exposing the ill-doings of the current world power as well as fighting these powers through civic action, are extremely important elements on the path towards a just and peaceful world, they are not in themselves enough. The roots of the global crisis are deeply embedded in all of us in our spirituality, philosophy and psychology, that are formed by our education and culture. Anyone whos interested in changing the trajectory of human development from the destructive path must also look within and examine their own consciousness for memes which have a potential to lead to actions harmful to the wellbeing of all.
Collective interests of humanity are rarely considered during decision-making in the executive boardrooms or governmental headquarters. At best, figures of power act to reflect interests of small groups that sustain their welfare, i.e. shareholders, lobby groups, sponsors. Most of us, even without any power, are still tribal creatures, who prioritise and value our tribes (as long as it satisfies our needs and wants), even if it is done at the expense of the well-being of other tribes. In order to overcome our global crisis, we need to start shifting towards a more transcendental consciousness, where we place our allegiances with humanity at large, rather than with individual groups of our favoured nationality, religion, race, class, etc. This is not a fanciful idealistic position, its actually a highly realist pragmatic stance, which we need to adopt, if we want to survive as a species.
Moral relativists argue that we cannot have universal moral truths on which we can all agree, as all ideas of good and evil are relative to social, cultural, historical or personal circumstances. In the context of the current global crisis, surely all humans could agree on one good: saving our planet and our species. However, genuine change is not going to happen overnight, it can take generations. The complexity of the global crisis and the long-term time span of a possible solution can prevent many from wanting to engage in pressing global issues. After all, why give up on our own lives, especially if they happen to be in the first world, for the sake of something, which might or might not happen after we are gone? With good luck, the Earth will still exist by the time our grandchildren grow up, even if its going to be more polluted, and there will be fewer varieties of living beings. Why give up on ones own pursuit of happiness and success, the values which western culture encourages in us above all others, for the sake of abstract seemingly-unachievable universal good?
A prominent US positive psychologist Mihaly Csiksentmihalyi, who dedicated his life to promoting individual happiness via his concept of flow (a highly focused mental creative state), at the peak of his career has argued that only active and conscious participation in the evolutionary process of humanity can fill our life with meaning and joy, implying that anyone whos searching for ones own individual happiness without taking into account collective human destiny is bound to be disappointed, forever accompanied by a hidden sense of dissatisfaction. He also argued that alongside addressing injustices, fighting oppression, exploitations and inequalities, human beings should work on evolving their own consciousness.
Our genes, culture and personal psychology create a bias in our perception of reality and often make us act in ways, which are harmful to ourselves and others. Once we are able to transcend our own personal immediate interests, dictated to us by genes and memes, and start identifying with the humanity at large, only then we can hope for resolution of world problems. Working on ones own consciousness, be that through yoga, meditation, reflection, study, self-analysis, etc. can help us weed out parasitic memes. Clear thinking, developing intuition, empathy, wisdom as well as maintaining our creativity will help us create an Evolutionary Self, which will be aligned with our goal of survival on planet Earth.
Once we accept that internalising global issues is not an idealistic stance, but an integral part of our happiness as evolving human beings, which in turn is the necessary aspect of our survival as a species, then we can start dedicating more of our time to raising our own level of awareness about pressing issues, supporting the causes close to our heart, and most importantly thinking very carefully, which leaders we elect.
Questioning and reviewing our own political beliefs is one of the most important steps towards change. (try this political quiz here) Instead of being passive receptors of political memes from our family and culture, we can make a conscious effort to re-educate ourselves on the matters we care about, read radical thinkers and alternative media sources, and then discuss our thoughts with other humans, preferably from a different social/economic/racial/cultural/national group. Today we need cross-everything dialogue, which will expand our awareness, as much as we need socio-political reforms and personal development. The internet and social media can be a source of distraction and procrastination, but also can be an incredible tool for connecting and engaging with other humans from all over the planet.
Expanding ones own consciousness can only benefit us if we all participate in forming our online collective global consciousness to the best of our abilities, then apply what we learn from it to the real world. All of this is already happening in the digital world (I didnt lie when I told my then six year old son that some people are waking up and searching for ways to solve global issues), its all about whether there will be enough of us within the right time frame with the right knowledge and skills that can make all the difference. If you are not part of this yet, then consider getting involved now. As some modern psychologists have realised, it could be the missing ingredient in our failing happiness project.


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It would be easy to write a woe-is-me tale titled "Real Estate vs Middle Class Schlub" right about now. But do you really care that we had a contract on a new home last week and within 12 hours someone outbid us and the contract was lost? And does it matter to you that our current home was under contract for a week or so until the prospective buyers canceled the deal yesterday? Of course not. That stuff happens all the time. At least that is what people keep telling me. Cliches have kept me standing upright the past few weeks (read:years.) "It wasn't meant to be." "A better house is out there." "The timing was not right." "Keep your chin up." "It ain't over til it's over."
Bla. Bla. Bla.
That shit is played out. Unlike this month's crop of new music that MUST be on your playlist. Through all the blood, sweat, and tears it is the songs that keep me moving. It is the lyrics... It is the melodies... It is the euphoria of a live show...
Here is hoping you find your happy place. Perhaps these offerings might get you there.
Eels "Peach Blossom" Irreverant. Genius. Eccentric. Mystery. E. Mark Oliver Everett has been at the rock game for quite some time now. He will probably never reach the mainstream, and that most likely suits him fine. Currently touring to promote his latest record, Wonderful, Glorious, this track is among the stand outs. There are many. He plays NYC's Webster Hall tomorrow evening and this blogger could not be more excited. You either get it or you don't. If you don't, so very sorry.
Boy "Little Numbers" Do you like Canadian singer/songstress Feist? If so this Swiss-German duo has a song for you. Catchy pop number that, I can only assume is about a phone number. Who has a seven digit phone number anymore? We have already given this track more attention than it deserves. Listen and enjoy. Leave the deep thinking to Matt Pinfield and Jenny Eliscu.
Caveman "In the City" There has not been a bigger supporter for New York act Caveman than yours truly. Their sophomore record is set for an early spring release and their first single (which plays quite nicely live btw) captures the same mood as their incredibly underrated debut CoCo Beware. They just set off on a North American tour and this blog cannot encourage you enough to see them on stage. Go here immediately: Caveman
Dawes "From a Window Seat" California band Dawes have a new record set for release in April. Lead singer/songwriter Taylor Goldsmith borrow heavily from Warren Zevon, Jackson Browne, Tom Petty and many of the legends of 70s soft rock. Here Goldsmith writes about a flight and how his imagination wonders. Simple. Silly. So freaking good. Look around the pop landscape and tell me who writes, sings and performs a better song these days.
Grizzly Bear "A Simple Answer" Oh great, another Brooklyn band. Yawn. Critics and the alt blogosphere absolutely love these guys. For the longest time this blog ignored them. They can be ignored no longer. Better late to the party than to not have attended at all. This track, performed live for WNYC, is a haunting masterpiece.
Local Natives "Heavy Feet" We head back to the West Coast for these rockers. OK, rockers is probably strong. Think Fleet Foxes meets The National. Another in a long list of mood alt stars. What can I say? I like the soft stuff. Hell, Caveman and Grizzly Bear are pretty darn similar too. A little piano... a little guitar... a little harmony... recipe for alt goodness I tell ya. This is far more current too (video released just a few weeks back.) One of those tracks that resonates long after first listen. Go ahead, try it.
Kate Earl "One Woman Army" OK, I said I liked the soft stuff. Pedal steel guitar is very much included. No idea who Kate Earl is. No idea how old or what her background is. She probably likes the Nashville sound and artists like Emmylou Harris and Lucinda Williams. Hers is a an easy going country vibe with an eye toward the mainstream. Is it Taylor Swift? Not quite. It ain't Wynonna Judd either. It is, however, a purdy good diddy. As my daughter might say "Dad, were you old when you were young?"
Holy Ghost "Wait and See" A little synth mixed in won't kill ya. Holy Ghost? More like Holy 80s??? Danny Elfman much? Thompson Twins? Level 42? The synth hook has a Knight Rider thing going for it, which is friggin awesome. Throw on your checker board Vans, play some Pac-Man on your Coleco system, and down some Big Gulps before Mayor Bloomberg takes them away. I think I hear some Nik Kershaw too... "Wouldn't It Be Good???"
San Cisco "Awkward" This whole thing is awkward. Young Aussie kids, with a chick drummer/singer, singing about stalking. Comic strip dialog bubbles have been replaced by IPhone text icons/emoticons. Just plain goofy!! But the song, the silly, sophomoric song... it will have you tapping your toes and wanting a little more. It is after all only 2 minutes long.
Pacific Air "Float" Saw these cats open for Walk the Moon last month and was not overly impressed. This single stuck in my mind though. It has made its way to the radio and I can see why. The vocals are strong and the beats are groovy. The weather HAS to be getting better soon here in the Northeast. Listening to this song on a sun soaked Saturday sounds good right about now.

subset: commoncrawl


text: In a different world called Dormant, there was a wizard so powerful that he can be considered as God. He kept striving for the peak of power and finally about to reach it, to unite with the planet itself. The process took thousands of years, normally one would lose his identity and personality as human. But, the wizard, Bernst Armadianus retained his self. To relieve his boredom, he materialized his avatars in many other worlds, sometimes as Hero, sometimes as Maou, and many others he relived his life as human. Despite that, he still felt bored since the avatar is in the end himself who started to lose his humanity. He wanted to feel being human again in the final moments before the union. The way he came up was to create a lifeform with his gene, a real human with personality, and then he will have their soul linked so he can share his senses and feels what them.


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Bunt Software is approved by the PCI Standards Council as a Qualified Integrator and Reseller. QIR's are qualified in the secure installation of Payment Application Data Security Standard (PA-DSS)-validated payment applications into merchant environments in a manner that facilitates PCI Data Security Standard compliance.
Numerous breach investigations have shown that incorrect installation and/or maintenance of payment applications creates opportunities for merchant networks to be compromised. Integrators and resellers play a key role in the payments ecosystem, as merchants depend on these service providers to install, configure, and/or maintain their validated applications.
You can lookup "Bunt Software" on the PCI council website to verify our certification. Whether you are installing SMP and SMPLink™ or something else, Bunt Software can help.
According to a Visa Security Bulletin dated 29 Oct 2015, starting 31 March 2016, newly boarded merchants must use only QIR certified professionals to install their POS applications. Starting 31 January 2017, the same applies for existing merchants.
Let Bunt Software install your POS software in a PCI-compliant manner.
Bunt Software's software development experience and expertise spans a wide array of industries and technologies. Let us develop an innovative software solution for your next project. We are available on either a project or time & material basis. Our turnkey software development services include Commercial Product Development, Web and Mobile Apps, as well as Software Architecture, Design and Development.
For more information, please call Don Bunt at (815) 885-4950 or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.com.


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Persistent rain in Lahore inundated low-lying areas and several neighbourhoods in most areas of the city remained without electricity due to tripping of more than 150 feeders.
Besides, the scattered rain broke the prolonged heat spell in Lahore and its adjoining areas.
Pakistan Meteorological Department (PMD) has also predicted rain in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP), Kashmir and Gilgit-Baltistan.
Neighbourhoods which were hit by prolonged power outages included Bhatta Chowk, Chauburji, Multan Road, Samanabad, Saddar and the adjoining regions.
In the recent days, it was extremely hot in Lahore, and the searing heat was energy-sapping and even the wind was markedly hot under the blazing sun.
On the other hand, Punjab Chief Minister Usman Buzdar has issued strict directives to the concerned departments to remain alert, and subsequently the workers have been ordered to perform the drainage work effectively.
The administrations of the relevant departments have been directed to utilise all available resources to prevent streets from flooding, and coordinate with each other.
Officers have been told that negligence in the drainage works would not be tolerated, and that they must monitor the work actively in the field instead of 'sitting in their offices'.
Traffic police have been ordered to ensure smooth flow of traffic inside the city.


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"The fire pit was a highlight - it was great to have a lovely hot shower"
"First time glamping and first time in a pod, we had a lovely time. The pod is great and in the most gorgeous surroundings. Very friendly and welcoming hosts, thankyou so much."
"We had a great night around the fire with a bottle of wine"
We have a variety of options for you ranging from pitching your tent, or staying in your lorry if you are visiting with horses, staying in one of our lovely Morph PODs, which really are superior camping pods architect built to a very high standard, booking our caraPOD or treating yourself to a stay in the Brandy House Glampotel
Camping : we have a small amount of space for folks wanting to camp.
Camping PODs: Superior architect built camping PODs
Vintage Caravan; Somewhere between camping and glamping; stay in our caravan which we have lovingly stripped and refurbished. it is not really a caravan at all; it has the option of double or twin beds (with linen & towels) a sofa, kettle and toaster, and heating. It has a little garden area with table and chairs overlooking our glamping field and the valley beyond.


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Electronic dispensers provide higher flexibility and a broader range of possible dispensing volumes compared to manual dispensers. The new Multipette®/Repeater® E3 and E3x posseses an additional mode, called "Aspirate and Dispense" with applications in protein biochemistry, molecular biology, cell biology and microbiology.
Basically mode A/D allows the uptake of an unknown amount of liquid and the subsequent dispensing of this volume in equal parts. The advantage of this new mode: it calculates the aspirated liquid volume and allows the user to define the volume to be dispensed. General application examples would be the uptake of a supernatant followed by the subsequent distribution to several reaction tubes, or if you want to calculate whether the small amount of liquid left in a supply bottle will be sufficient for your experiment. This mode can virtually be used for several applications in protein biochemistry, molecular biology, cell biology or microbiology. Read more about the different applications in our whitepaper!
Read the whole Whitepaper: Download now!


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Nearly 19,000 people have attended the grand Philippine Independence Day Celebrations (PIDC) capped by the first-ever awards ceremony honouring outstanding overseas Filipinos in Qatar.
The three-day celebrations, considered the biggest annual gathering of Filipinos here, saw a successful conclusion on Tuesday night with the AFJQ Gawad Parangal para sa Natatanging Overseas Pinoy awards.
Launched by the Alliance of Filipino Journalists in Qatar, the award recognises Filipino workers in Qatar for being a source of pride, honour, inspiration and encouragement to their compatriots and other nationals in Qatar and around the world.
The recipients of this year's award comprise seven individuals and one organisation involved in various fields and categories. They include Dr Alexander Acosta (Education), Ameera Fabella (Health and Medical Services), Jeanette Gotangogan (Community and Social Services), Raynald Rivera (Journalism and Mass Communication), Eng. Mario Solang (Engineering and Construction) and Annie Barcelona-Esmer (Business and Entrepreneurship.
The award for Outstanding Filipino Organization for Community and Social Services went to Pinoy WISE Qatar, a member of global movement Pinoy Wise (Worldwide Initiative for Investment Savings and Entrepreneurship) International which promotes financial literacy among Filipinos.
Philippine Ambassador Alan Timbayan and Labour Attaché David Des Dicang along with UFOQ Chairman Ressie Fos handed the awards to the honourees.
"To the recipients of the Gawad Parangal award, congratulations for your excellent performance and achievements in your respective expertise. You are certainly a model to the Filipino workers here in Qatar. We look forward to your success in the future," said Timbayan.
The last day of PIDC also saw the crowning of Lakan at Lakambini ng Kalayaan 2017, a search for the ambassadors of goodwill for the Filipino community.
Karle Haven Reyes and Martina Estrada of Balitang Q were crowned Lakan at Lakambini ng Kalayaan 2017 in a spectacular show marked by a vibrant showcase of Filipino culture and tourism through elegant costumes created by renowned Qatar-based Filipino designers and inspired by Philippine festivals.
Gawad Parangal and Lakan at Lakambini ng Kalayaan were two of the new features launched at this year's PIDC, organised by United Filipino Organisations in Qatar and Kulinarya Qatar.
"To the members of UFOQ and Kulinarya Qatar, congratulations for a job well done. The 119th Independence Day celebrations have certainly outstripped the past independence day celebrations which you have organized," said Timbayan, who lauded the organisations for being "very cohesive and cooperative."
Dicang shared the same view praising the leadership and cooperation of UFOQ, AFJQ and other organisations. "The Philippine government is truly blest because we have hardworking men and women who support our programmes," he said.
"Let us work together for a strong Filipino community," Timbayan urged community leaders and members while assuring them of embassy's support for their future endeavours.
text RAYNALD C. RIVERA


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Cranberry Bars
These sweet and slightly tangy Cranberry Bars are delicious and healthy dessert, made with only a handful of wholesome ingredients.
- 2 cup 2 cup 2 cup Blanched Almond Flour, (for the crust)
- 0.5 cup 0.5 cup 0.5 cup Arrowroot Powder, For the crust, plus 1 TBSP for filling
- 0.25 cup 0.25 cup 0.25 cup Organic Coconut Oil, (for the crust)
- 0.5 cup 0.5 cup 0.5 cup Pure Maple Syrup, divided (.25 for the crust, .25 for the filling)
- 2 cup 2 cup 2 cup fresh Cranberries
- 1 tsp 1 tsp 1 tsp Orange Zest
- 0.5 whole 0.5 whole 0.5 whole Orange, juiced
- 0.5 tsp 0.5 tsp 0.5 tsp Almond Extract
- 0.25 tsp 0.25 tsp 0.25 tsp Pure Vanilla Extract
Note, these instructions are written assuming the standard serving size, since you have modified the number of servings, these steps may need to be modified for best results
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees
- combine the first 4 ingredients together to form a dough
- Cut out 1/4 of the dough and set aside
- Press the remaining 3/4 of the dough into a well greased 8x8 baking dish
- Mix all of the ingredients for the filling together in a large bowl
- Pour the filling into the prepared 8x8 baking dish
- Crumble the 1/4 of dough (that had been set aside) over the top of the filling
- Bake for 35-45 minutes until the top starts to lightly brown
- Allow to cool and serve
- Store any leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge
Our recipes are created using Paleo, Primal and Gluten-free guidelines. Learn more about our diet and lifestyle at www.primalpalate.com.
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About This RecipeBaked Fruits Dairy Free Egg Free FODMAP Free Nightshade Free Pescetarian Shellfish Free
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Posted: Oct 19, 2018
MIDDLETOWN, Conn. – The Wesleyan men's soccer team was downed by Amherst (9-3-1, 5-3-1) Friday evening under the lights on Citrin Field.
Prior to the start of the contest, the Cardinals (3-10-0, 2-7-0) honored their senior class, featuring Nicholas Hawkins, Teddy Lyons, Komar Martinez-Paiz, Cam McCusker and Jibri Salaam.
- The visitors had a great chance to score in the opening minutes. Cutler Coleman sent a cross into the box from the left side, but Luke Nguyen's header shot was denied by Wesleyan goalkeeper Teddy Lowen.
- The Cardinals looked to get on the board at the 16:47 mark after a corner by Cameron Park. Spencer Robbins one-timed the corner, sending Amherst goalkeeper Bernie White diving to his left, but the shot went just wide right.
- The Mammoths found the back of the net 19:57 in after an indirect kick by Dane Lind. Bryce Johnson settled the pass in traffic, before chipping the ball just over the head of Lowen for the 1-0 edge.
- Wesleyan's JJ LaCorte looked for the equalizer at the 25:24 mark, but his hard shot from 30 yards out went just wide right.
- Amherst had a good opportunity to add a second tally, but back-to-back header shots by Sean Fitzgerald and Johnson during the 38th minute were thwarted by Lowen.
- The Mammoths upped the offensive pressure, taking a 2-0 lead when Coleman connected with German Giammattei's cross from the left side, finding nylon at the 39:03 mark.
- Out of the intermission, the Cardinals looked to cut the deficit in half at the 53:25 mark after a corner kick by Sam Serxner. Jack Pironti connected with the corner, but his hard shot went wide.
- Amherst tacked on another tally at the 81:47 mark when Jimmy McMillian one-timed a throw-in by Johnson, making it 3-0.
- Despite the loss, Lowen had a great game in net for the Cardinals, making ten saves. White picked up the win for Amherst, forced to make just four stops.
- The Cardinals conclude the regular season on Tuesday when they entertain Connecticut College at 4:00 p.m. on Citrin Field.


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Irish Water responds to pipeline criticism
Irish Water has said that all feedback on the preferred scheme for a new water supply for the eastern and midlands region has been considered by the project team and will be summarised in the consultation report that will be published in the coming weeks.
The fourth non-statutory public consultation phase on the preferred scheme for a new water supply for the eastern and midlands region – officially known as the 'Eastern and Midlands Water Supply Project' – closed back in February.
A key part of this consultation was in relation to a proposed draft pipeline route corridor between Parteen Basin on the lower Shannon and Peamount in south Co. Dublin, the spokesperson said.
"Approximately 500 landowners are impacted by the proposed pipeline route. We are in constant contact with affected landowners through our dedicated landowner liaison officers and this will continue as the project evolves.
"Consultations have taken place with landowner representative organisations, and it is anticipated that discussions will continue over the coming months in relation to a voluntary wayleave package to be offered to landowners," said the spokesperson.
"Public participation has been an integral part of the water supply project, eastern and midlands region, since its commencement and has informed the development of the preferred scheme. Over 1,000 stakeholders participated in the latest consultation stage on the preferred scheme," she said.
Irish Water has sought, listened to and responded to public feedback at every stage of the water supply project's development, from assessing the need right through to identifying the preferred scheme.
"We have highlighted this in our consultation report, which shows where public and landowner feedback has directly influenced the project," she added.
The consultation report, the spokesperson said, will include an updated assessment of water needs, consideration of requests by landowners to alter the proposed route as well as the details of the works proposed and the high-level timeline milestones for the project's development.
"The project will be independently assessed by An Bord Pleanala under the strategic infrastructure planning process. We are also undertaking many activities and surveys necessary for the preparation of an Environmental Impact Assessment Report (EIAR) which will accompany the planning application to An Bord Pleanala.
"A small number of updates to our previously-published documentation, including an update to the 2015 project need report, are being prepared and will be published prior to submission of the planning application," said the spokesperson.
Irish Water's remit, she said, includes the delivery of a sustainable and resilient water supply nationally.
A new source and scheme is required to meet the needs of the eastern and midlands region of Ireland because the existing sources and infrastructure neither have the capacity, resilience nor connectivity to meet the region's growing domestic and business requirements.
Irish Water is undertaking a national programme of works to reduce leakage, the spokesperson said. "The national target is to save approximately 166 million litres of water per day – that's enough water to fill 70 Olympic-size swimming pools every day, reducing from approximately 47% to 37% nationally.
Leakage reduction
"The leakage reduction programme will see over €500 million invested over four years to reduce leakage and remove problematic pipes from the public water network. These works will help to ensure that we have a clean, safe and reliable water supply now and into the future to support our growing population and economy," the spokesperson said.
This, she said, will be done through a combination of measures, including: 'find and fix'; water mains renewal; and the first fix scheme for customer side leakage. "Mains replacement is just one part of the leakage reduction programme.
"The target mains replacement rate is 1% – 630km/year of the 63,000km of network – to ensure that the network is renewed at least once every 100 years. Within the available capital funding under the 2017-2021 capital investment plan, Irish Water has balanced the cost of this replacement against the other national priorities such as waste water and drinking water quality," the spokesperson said.
We have replaced 890km over the past four years and will replace approximately 720km more between now and 2021.
The leakage levels in the greater Dublin water supply area are lower than the national average, according to Irish Water.
"The estimate of leakage is 37% pre-Storm Emma, giving about 215 million litres per day (MLD) in total across 9,000km of network and at least 650,000 service connections, as well as the matrix of reservoirs and trunk mains – all of which contribute to the losses," the spokesperson said.
"This is consistent with the British industry in the 1990s which took 20-25 years of sustained investment to reach the low to mid 20% figures today. The leakage reduction programme will save approximately 45MLD of water by 2021," she said.
"Concentrating solely on fixing the leaks may seem a logical plan on paper. However, it would not be possible to fix all of the leaks in the network.
"In reality it would cost considerably more and take much longer than our alternative solution identified to have a new water supply source to provide water to the midland counties along the pipeline route from the Shannon to Dublin and to the greater Dublin region," the spokesperson said.
Finding and fixing
"Irish Water is committed to finding and fixing leaks as well as bringing online a new water supply for these regions to ensure we have enough available water to meet current and future demands and to support our growing economy in the midlands and in the greater Dublin region," said the spokesperson.
"Irish Water is finding and fixing leaks across the country and the benefitting corridor in the midlands in Tipperary, Offaly, Laois, Westmeath and Kildare. Combined with our programme of investment to find and fix leaks, the identified new water supply will ensure we can secure the water supply for future generations," she said.
For example, if Irish Water was to fix all leaks in the greater Dublin area, it would involve potentially replacing up to 9,000km of pipeline alone as the whole network experiences leakage.
"This would take multiple decades and impact everything from domestic and commercial premises to the road and transport network. It would cause disruption to all of these sectors on an absolutely massive scale with consequential economic cost," she said.
"If you consider the two-year disruption caused by the recent 10km Luas cross city project in Dublin it will give you some idea of what fixing all the leaks would actually look like in reality along the streets of the city and suburbs.
"The Luas cross city project also had the benefit of some flexibility to choose a route which would get the job done with the least impact. The existing water network is already in place so there would not be any flexibility to avoid added disruption," the spokesperson said.
"Irish Water's next investment plan submission to the Commission for Regulation of Utilities will include the justification for an increased investment in mains replacement; however, as in the current plan, it will have to balance the expenditure against competing priorities," she said.
"The leakage reduction programme is replacing the most problematic water mains across the country made of various pipe material. Replacement works are prioritised based on a number of criteria including: the number of historical bursts; the underlying level of leakage in the area; water quality issues; the number of customers impacted by disruptions; and pressure levels," the spokesperson said.
"The recent water restrictions in Dublin following Storm Emma showed the vulnerability of the water network and the potential for a devastating impact on homes, businesses and the economy of the country.
"If this situation is not addressed, then regular water outages are likely to become a feature of everyday life for the region in the future, compromising both current but also future social and economic development," contended the spokesperson.
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Art has elicited a divided opinion over the years with some people failing to see the value that art real carries while others will kill for it. When one mentions art, it makes a lot of sense to people who understand the importance of creative art, to others, they often wonder why someone would part with a tremendous amount of cash for a piece of art. However, art, just like beauty, only the eye of the beholder can perceive it. On the part of the artists, evidence suggests that most artists are more often eccentric or they have unique personality features than other people. The creative geniuses in the art industry sometimes have a strange kind of life, with some their folks fleeing from them or rather they had varying level of respect and reputation during their time. The most curious thing about these eccentric geniuses is that the more bizarre they are, the more unusual and outstanding than their art is. In this list, we have explored the worlds of the top ten most famous eccentric artists with their unconventional styles and personalities.
1. Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio – Italian Painter (1590s – 1610)
Caravaggio was an Italian artist who is reckoned for creating innovative paintings and pioneering the use of lighting and representation of religious figures in modern clothing attitude. For instance, if anyone could have done justice to Goliath's severed head tangling by hair strand from David's hand is Caravaggio, the tempestuous Italian artists. In creating emphasis in his artwork, Caravaggio used an intense beam of light as an attention catcher on some aspects of the painting by contrasting the well-lit parts with the dark shadowy areas of the canvas. Caravaggio contributed profoundly to the art industry through the introduction of his individualized style that was imitated by his contemporaries and the significant impact on painters and influencing the art sector of the 19th century.
The paintings of Caravaggio had a dark twist that is inspired by his radical naturalism eccentric lifestyle. For instance, Caravaggio celebrated the completion of his portrait by spending the next month or more drinking and stumbling around town with his sword to pick fights. He has been implicated with several murders; 1606 he fled Rome for killing a man after one of many battles; and he was a standard fixture in jail. The pope issued a death warrant for Caravaggio because of his complex and radical naturalist character. In 1610, Caravaggio died in a controversial circumstance just at the age of 39 years, and many claimed he had been murdered while others claimed he died of fever. Based on the research contacted in 2010, human remains found in the Italian church were believed to be Caravaggio's, analysis confirms the claim because of the high content of lead poisoning in the body due to the exposure to lead in the paints.[1]
2. Salvador Dali – Spanish Draftsman (1904 – 1989)
Salvador Dali was a Spanish artist described as the author, impresario, critic, and the provocateur who first featured in the art sector in 1929 remained in the public sight until his death. Dali was the master of surrealism who was a public contradiction, a self-proclaimed agnostic and devout Catholic. Though he was a communist, he sided with fascists during the Spanish civil war by writing letters of support and painting the fascist leader's granddaughter paintings. He traveled everywhere around the world with his pet Ocelot, and gave Mia Farrow a gift of a dead mouse in the bottle! Dali paid his restaurant bills by painting on the rescript. The fans were in for a rude shock for he always kept the fans pen once he signs the autograph. In his house, Dali created a melting watch and a lobster telephone that spoke a lot of his artistic skills, however, his eccentricity outside the art profession played an essential role in ensuring will be remembered forever. For instance, one of his greatest saying states "every morning upon awakening, I experience a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dalí." Which forms part of his inspirational, creative, genus, and unforgeable aspects of his artistic life.[2]
3. Andy Warhol – American Artist (1928 – 1987)
The legend of Andy Warhol continues to grow year after year and while his contribution to the art world is impossible to override. One of his famous sayings states "business art is the step that comes after Art. I started as a commercial artist, and I want to finish as a business artist." It explains the fact that Warhol was one of the most successful commercial artists in the history of art. For instance, in the 1960s, he pioneered the integration of art and music to create the pop-art culture not only in his soup can painting but in the creation of several pop culture music bands like the Velvet Underground with a constant aspect of Warhol's ruddiness. In the 1975 Warhol masterminded the creation of films, that was too rude for general release, and was a control freak, controlling everyone around him. The most notable quality of Andy Warhol is that he was a mass contradiction in many of his art pieces, presented as a Catholic virgin who painted homosexual erotica art masterpieces that were too explicit for galleries. His odd personality throws many people around him, but only a handful got close to him, a complex genius artist.[3]
4. Tracey Emin – English Artist (1963 – )
Tracey Emin is a known modern world artist of the British Romani and Turkish Cypriot origin who emerged to prominence in the art world in the 1980s during the "Young British Artists" movement. She is notoriously famous for her sexually explicit and provocative artwork for decades. The most controversial and renown is her tent painting with encrypted names of her lovers titled "Everyone I Have Ever Slept With 1963–1995. ″ She later produced "My Bed" the bed that was unmade, with her soiled underwear, another sexually provocative piece that was exhibited in Tate, qualifying her as the winner of Turner Prize. Emin produced a host of workpieces encompassing paintings, sculptures, videos, and textiles which heavily illuminate her controversial and troubled childhood and adolescent life.
Based on her work and lifestyle, Tracey Emin is an undisputed eccentric persona. For one, her biography is titled "Strangeland" with an equally bizarre line which reads, "Here I am, a…. crazy, anorexic-alcoholic-childless, beautiful woman." If you watch her on TV in her drunken, swearing shows, you will automatically concur that she is not only eccentric but also crazy! Lucky for Emin, her eccentricity personality and career earned her a lucrative job as the Drawing Professor at the Royal Academy in London.[4]
5. Pablo Picasso – Spanish Painter (1881 – 1973)
Scholars in the field of art are intrigued by the works and contribution of Pablo Picasso, a Spanish born artist who moved to continue his art career in France. According to popular reports, the first words of Picasso were "Piz
6. Marcel Duchamp – American-French Painter (1887 – 1968)
The French artists illustrated his traditional aspect of eccentricity while making art from toilet bowls. Duchamp was a constant force in the art in 1887 not only by his contribution to the art world but also as an inspiration and adviser to artists such as Peggy Guggenheim. In 1917, he submitted the ordinary urinary to the gallery horrifying the board of directors, when they declined to display it, Duchamp resigned as a committee member. Duchamp specialized in "found art" exhibiting a snow shovel, bicycle wheel, a bottle of drying rack, and more so, the urinal. The type of art Duchamp believed in, and he classified it "Ready-mades" in a descriptive way Duchamp stated: "My idea was to choose an object that wouldn't attract me, either by its beauty or by its ugliness. To find a point of indifference in my looking at it, you see." He was mediocre, and he was also very dismissive of fellow artists calling their work "retinal art" meaning the art that is designed to attract the eye as compared to his urinal which has no any appeal for the eye.[6]
7. Banksy – British Street Artist (1974 – )
Banksy is the street name, in actual little if any is known about the actual artist. The graffiti artist popularly recognized as Banksy has done great work on the street walls. It is perplexing to note that the beneficiaries of the anonymous artist's work are the owners of business whose walls have been painted on by Banksy, the rogue artist. The business owners are receiving thousands of pounds for the paintings, thanks to Banksy. The only information known about the artist is mere speculation. For instance, it is speculated that he came from Bristol and was a butcher trainee in his early teenage life. Among his great pieces include the Mona Lisa Bazooka, Hammer Boy 2013, kissing Coppers 2004, rage, the flower thrower 2005 among many others. In 2010 for instance, his film Exit Through the Gift Shop was nominated for Oscar Award, and in a rare public statement, he stated that he does not agree with the concept of award ceremonies, but there is room for the special one that he is nominated. A quote from Banksy states "The last time there was a naked man covered in gold paint in my house, it was me" it cites the kind of eccentric personality we are talking about here.[7]
8. Damien Steven Hirst – English Artist (1965 – )
The most unpleasant artist ever who rose to fame in the 1990s, Damien Hirst was obsessed with the theme of death in his art career work. The first piece in 1991, was a shark suspended in a tank of preservatives formaldehyde with the title: "The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living" which amazed the repulsed audience. One of the quotes by Hirst reads: "The difference between art about death and actual death is that one's a celebration and the other's a dull fact." It as well surrounds his favorite element of his artwork. For one, the "Mother and Child Divided" represent the cow and calf split into half and immersed into formaldehyde was first displayed in 1993, and his unique signature in art became the feature of dead animals and preservative fluid run across his work. For instance, the rotting bull and cow surrounded with flies was banned from New York by public health experts claiming it will cause visitors to vomit. The eccentricity attributes evidenced in Hirst's work paint him as a depressed morbid character; however, he was also an ironic misogynist directing Country House videos which primarily featured big breasted women dressed in short skirts. It is for the best if less is highlighted about his musical profession in Fat Les.[8]
9. Vincent van Gogh – Dutch Painter (1853 – 1890)
According to the many art kinds of literature, they seem to suggest that van Gogh is the most known artist in the world, perhaps because of his extremely eccentric personality. Many know him as the mad, crazy artist. Van Gogh, just like many genius creative artists, appeared to be internally tormented. The Dutch genius artist's life and work were hampered or overshadowed with his mental illness (disorders) that many art researchers speculate emanated from lead in his paint. The post-impressionist artist was associated with mental disorders such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, epilepsy among others, making his work to be overlooked as just a reflection of his troubled ill mind. according to van Gogh, "Paintings have a life of their own that derives from the painter's soul." One of the scariest aspects of the art of van Gogh is the aspect that he severed his ear, wrapped it in a newspaper, and lost it in a drunken sword fight with friends. The surprising element in the literature on van Gosh is that he was depressed, ecstatic, and was only okay when he painted, the work received little respect and recognition during his time, but it is considered as classics during the present era.[9]
10. Jackson Pollock – American Painter (1912 – 1956)
The American artist is one of the leading abstract expressionist artists in the world. The most outstanding contribution of Pollock in the art sector encompasses the development of his abstract radical art style which entails detaching line from color, redefining painting and drawing categories, and establishing new image description approaches. Pollock was devasted and struggled with the calamity of alcoholism. According to his saying, "the painting has a life of its own. I try to let it come through" this explains why his paintings are not associated with his mad alcoholic lifestyle. Pollock's paintings are described as a must have-asset that was instrumental in defining the abstract expressionist art movement. Though eccentric in many ways encompassing alcoholic lifestyle, social challenges; he remains the greatest in terms of art pieces and his influence in art industry is still felt even in the present era, and probably the future generations.[10]


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How to be a good internet citizen
Few inventions have changed society as much as the internet. The simple ability for everyone to communicate instantly with everyone else has had a profound effect on almost every aspect of our lives.
Unfortunately, that's not always for the better. Just as in real life, bad behavior by thoughtless people has followed us into the online universe. But you know, it doesn't have to be that way.
Yes, there will always be jerks, criminals and psychopaths online, as in real life. But a lot of the misery found online comes from people who normally have their hearts in the right place. Just as people get angry and abusive hiding behind the glass and aluminum of a car when they wouldn't behave that way in person, so it goes when they are sitting at a computer or browsing social media on their smartphones.
The anonymity of detachment can bring out the worst in the best of us
It's no surprise that, in 2017, roughly 4 in 10 Americans told the Pew Research Center for Internet & Technology that they had experienced some form of online harassment. Sixty-two percent said such behavior was a serious problem.
To help make the online world a better place, just stop and think about how you behave and how you can improve that behavior.
I asked my Facebook followers to help with some rules for being a good citizen on the internet. Working together, here's what we came up with.
Don't be a troll
A troll is someone who delights online in the misfortune of others, deliberately attempting to evoke a response of anger, fear, distrust or revulsion.
While you may not think you're a troll, consider whether you've ever used phrases such as "I was just jerking his chain" or "She needs to grow a thicker skin." If you've ever said something like that, you may have engaged in trollish behavior.
Just be kind. Imagine what you're about to say, write or do being done to you. If it would upset you or make you uncomfortable, don't do it to others.
Don't feed the trolls
Trolls often cast bait into their dark waters, posting annoying comments in the hope that someone will engage with them. Rising to the bait gives them the satisfaction of knowing someone was irritated enough to respond.
Ignoring trolls is the best tactic, though with some trolls who aren't very smart it's possible to confuse them by responding in a way that doesn't indicate you're upset. On the other hand, this is a form of trolling itself, so it's just best not to engage.
Keep your machines clean
When you're on the internet, you're part of a network of millions — maybe billions, at this point — of devices, all sending and receiving information to and from each other. It's vital that this data be pristine, not toxic.
Thus, it's important to keep your computers and mobile devices updated with the latest versions of the operating system and apps. By doing so, you can plug security flaws that evildoers could use to compromise your machine, take control of it and use it to spew spam, viruses, spyware and other nasties onto the network.
You also want to run security software on your traditional PCs — whether they are PCs or Macs — and possibly even your mobile devices, to prevent malware.
Don't spread fake news
It's way too easy to make bogus information look real on the internet and in social media, but it's also fairly easy to verify something.
What's the source? Do you recognize the name of the site where the story is hosted? Do other stories on that site have links supporting their assertions? Be particularly suspicious of photos with text on them, asserting some "fact" or quote that likely isn't genuine. Google the text to try to find its source.
Look elsewhere for the same story. If no one else has it, be skeptical.
Snopes.com has been busting bad information since the mid-1990s. Do a search there for the topic, and chances are, if it's bogus, Snopes will have addressed it already.
Finally, if you get an email or see something on social media that urges you to "pass it on!" — particularly with all caps and many exclamation points involved — just don't.
Help when you can
If someone asks a question you can answer or requests help you can provide, do it. Being a good internet citizen includes being one who shares knowledge or helps solve problems. Consider it karma in the bank. If you have an online reputation of being a helpful person, people will fall all over themselves to help you when the time comes.
Conversely, if you don't know the answer to something or aren't the right person to help, don't offer what may be bad information. Then you're just propagating a personal form of fake news.
Don't steal content, and give credit where it's due
Creators may or may not make a living putting words, pictures, audio, video and apps online. Regardless, it's uncool to take it without either paying for it or, depending on the creator's intention and licensing, using it as content without permission.
It's not unusual for creators to track down content thieves and demand payment, sometimes going as far as a lawsuit. Really, it's not worth it.
When you find something you want to share or use, ask permission unless it's expressly indicated that sharing is OK, such as with a sharing button or the presence of a Creative Commons license. If you have permission, be sure to give credit and, if possible, provide with a link back to the original.
Don't belabor your point
No one likes a boor or an obsessive, so don't be one. You can be passionate about a subject, but let your passion manifest itself in smart ways.
Too many people in online discussions or social media postings are like a dog with a bone — they won't let go a point, becoming belligerent and aggressive in defending their points of view. It's OK to let someone else have the last word.
Plus, you'll be more persuasive if you do so with facts rather than fury, calm knowledge rather than name calling.
Ponder before you post
When I asked for suggestions for this piece on Facebook, Houston Matters host Craig Cohen at Houston Public Media suggested these three questions to ask yourself before you post anything on the internet or social media:
1. Does this need to be said?
2. Does this need to be said by me?
3. Does this need to be said by me now?
Cohen credits TV personality Craig Ferguson, who said it took him three marriages to learn.
Don't share passwords or go where you shouldn't
Logins and passwords are the locks and keys of the internet. They are there to keep unauthorized people out and to protect the information contained therein.
Keep out of computer systems where you're not an authorized user. While it may seem harmless, don't share logins and passwords for services such as Netflix, HBO, Showtime, Hulu, etc. Some of those services have liberal sharing policies, but most require that multiple people using a login be in the same household or immediate family.
Respect others' privacy
Although the internet is a mostly public space, those who post information to it expect that what they share will be used appropriately. In some cases, there may be information about people posted by third parties that doesn't belong in a more public sphere.
For example, if you own a home or business, information about you is available as a public record at the appraisal district office, and it may be searchable online. Because it's there doesn't mean it's appropriate to share in, say, a Reddit discussion forum to embarrass someone you're arguing with.
The same goes with photos and videos posted in social media. While a photo of a summer beach gathering may be just fine in an Instagram feed, it's not cool to post photos of your neighbor in a Speedo in your community's Nextdoor forum.


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Meet MaryAnne
"Aging is a challenge. Let's craft a plan to create a home that fits your future. I'm here to help." MaryAnne Sullivan
With over 30 years of hands-on home management experience, MaryAnne uses her knowledge of how individuals and families successfully age to help her clients achieve their goals in their own homes.
MaryAnne assists her clients with their home-focused needs, including wardrobe consultation, aging in place, organization of the home and personal possessions, and closing down a home.
MaryAnne loves to share her knowledge with others. She created and facilitated the Support Group for the Cluttered and Disorganized in Stockton and Tracy.
In addition to lecturing as a community education instructor at Elk Grove's Always Learning program, San Joaquin County Delta College, and Modesto Junior College, MaryAnne was a guest speaker at:
- Kaiser Permanente/San Joaquin and Stanislaus Counties – – Live Well, Be Well (2012)
- San Joaquin County Department of Healthcare Services (2012)
- Kaiser Permanente/San Joaquin and Stanislaus Counties – – Live Well, Be Well (2011)
- Sacramento County Adult & Aging Commission
- Kaiser Permanente/San Joaquin County — Employee Health and Wellness Program
- Featured speaker at O'Connor Woods' May Faire Luncheon — 2005
- Lunchtime Program Series at the Cesar Chavez Central Library-Stockton
- UC Davis Center for Healthy Aging, Coming of Age 2004
- Sacramento Westminster Presbyterian Brown Bag Lecture — Simplify At 65! in 2004
- Good Day Sacramento, KMAX TV, Channel 31
- Featured speaker at the Greater Stockton Chamber of Commerce's Network Cafe
- and assorted community organizations, including Rotary and Soroptimist
MaryAnne has been featured in several articles, including:
- Clean and Happy Home by Mi'cal Harriso, published in Inside Arden in October 2010
- Clean Sweep by Emil Guillermo, published in The Record on December 30, 2004
- Gifts Galore Yesterday, Clutter Today by Anita Creamer, published in the Sacramento Bee on December 26, 2003
Personal Biography
After graduating from CSU, Sacramento with a BA in History and teaching for three years, MaryAnne began MaryAnne Sibert & Co. in 1973. She combined her detailed housekeeping methods and her aging in place skills to create personalized services for her clients.
In 2001, the San Joaquin County Commission on the Status of Women honored MaryAnne's business accomplishments by awarding her the Susan B. Anthony Award in Business.
MaryAnne enjoys being active in her community. She is a member of Lodi Rotary and is a Paul Harris Fellow. She also is a member of the American Association of University Women (AAUW) – Lodi Branch.
She is proud of her ability to operate a successful business through five recessions in addition to being a successful single parent to her daughter, Jeanne.


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Prom Style Inspiration 2014: Yuna Kim0February 17th, 2014Celebrity Dresses, Prom
The modern, artistic and global girl looking for prom style inspiration may turn to figure skater Yuna Kim.
Born in South Korea, Yuna started competing internationally at the senior level at age 16. The 2010 Olympic gold medalist also holds three World Championships. Yuna is a Goodwill Ambassador for Unicef, raising awareness of needs for the organization. She donates prize money from many awards to Unicef or other relief and development efforts for children. Off the ice, bloggers and paparazzi track her polished casual look. On the ice, Yuna loves fashion forward skating dresses. Here's four prom gowns inspired by Yuna's skating style.
A one shoulder dress from Bari Jay features sheer panels embellished with beaded motifs that flash across the bodice and shoulder strap. A side front slit and train accent the asymmetrically gathered skirt that swishes around to a short train in back. If Yuna hit the red carpet, this would be a dramatic choice in either black, royal blue or white.
I chose this long formal gown after watching Yuna's 2013 International Skating Union program. A silver one shoulder open back dress from Betsy and Adam evokes that same sophistication. Beads and sequin motifs wrap around an illusion panel at the waist and divide to create an asymmetrical wrap around the back and hip. Bias cut, this long evening gown has back godets that flare into a slight train.
Pink, gold and silver would look fabulous on Yuna's beautiful winter complexion. Don't you think Yuna would rock Sherri Hill's strapless high low sequin dress? Sequins sewn in strategic lines define the bodice, waist and trickle down a sheer skirt. This high low gown is a perfect choice for prom, wedding or formal events.
Yuna's strength and elegance would shine in La Femme's strapless dress with side cut outs. I chose another long gown with a side slit… guess I see this as a signature choice for Yuna. Beaded accents at the side mark the straps that wrap around to support this dramatic evening gown. Perhaps this may be too daring for prom, but for the right girl, this elegance would be smashing!
So here's my ideas for prom inspiration. What do you think, global, modern, artistic girls?Tags: Bari Jay dresses, Betsy and Adam, black evening gown, La Femme formal dresses, one shoulder evening dress, Sherri Hill prom dresses, strapless sequin dress


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Olympic Spectacle
Well, boy howdy, the Winter Olympics open this evening in lovely Vancouver, British Columbia. Or...as I had to explain to one of my co-workers...that's in Canada. Oh Canada.
And since I have fond memories of the Calgary games, I am looking forward to the opening spectacle with great anticipation. Which doesn't mean that I won't take a break for thirty minutes or so, to watch the Brave & the Bold. There are just SOME things that I can't do without, and cartoon Batman is one of them.
But still! I'm hoping for Mounties and lots of 'em. I love Mounties. They have those nice hats, and those wonderful red coats, and they are all six foot five inches tall, and ride horses and sing through their noses. And if you have never listened to Arrogant Worms, then by cracky, you're missing my favorite Canadian musicians. The Mountie Song, is naturally one of my favorites, along with the War of 1812, where they brag about burning down Washington. Great stuff.
Which brings me to this question. Do the Marvel or DC universes even HAVE the Olympics? With all the mutants and superpowers and such, it would seem awfully easy to gain a rather unfair advantage. But by gosh, they'd all look fabulous up on the podium.


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Oh La La! Garlic Pickles!
Have I gone crazy? These are the best pickles I've ever eaten so I bought five jars of them ... at Bernies of all places. Bernies is our little bitty grocery store in town every thing cost more there. I am craving pickles so much that whenever I leave home ... I wrap up a couple in a paper towel and take them with me.
Garlic Pickles. I can't get enough of them and eat them before I got to bed at night. I snack on them. I love them. I crave them.
No, I'm not pregnant. I know that for sure ... so surely I'm turning into a Vampire or something, because I have to have gone insane to walk into Bernies and buy all the jars on the shelf and pay $25.00 for Garlic Pickles. Von just looked at me when I lined them up on the counter top ... and he didn't utter a word, but the raised eyebrows said his every thought. He thinks I'm crazy.
They taste so good that I've kept my empty jars in the fridge to keep the juice good so I can add my own cucumbers next year. My plan is to freeze the pickle juice .... but maybe I'll figure out what happened and why I need these pickles before next year comes!


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This painting is still on the easel...almost done. It's 3am, a 12 x 16, pastel painting, inspired by the view out my bedroom window one bright moonlit night last week.
The stars and clouds are the brightest/lightest values in this nocturne. I included some mysterious shapes that I am often scrutinizing without my glasses in the wee hours. I'm hoping to catch a glimpse of a wild creature...and see what in my garden it is eating.
This is what my night sky used to look like; stars all the way down to the land. Now, sadly, all of my horizons have the glow of not-so distant lights. It is an intrusion I do not welcome. And it is unnecessary. Outdoor lighting can be designed to point the light only where we need it...on the ground. Proper lighting provides better security and better working illumination than the glare emitted from improper lighting. You can find out much more about this by going to International Dark Sky Association.
This painting is done on Colourfix Plein Air Painting Board from Art Spectrum; Aubergine color. These acid free papers and boards are made in Australia with a nice pumice finish. I have used a restrained palette of mainly grey, white, brown, blue and mauve in several different brands of soft pastels; Diane Townsend Soft, Schminke, Sennelier, Unison. It will be framed under glass and offered for sale in the future here in the studio or on the website.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Shadows in the Garden
Posted by Rodrica Tilley at 12:17 PM
Labels: international dark sky association, nocturne, stars
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McLaren 600LT in Colorado!
All-New 2019 McLaren 600LT
The all-new 2019 McLaren 600LT is now available at Mike Ward Mclaren Denver! McLaren started production on this incredible 600 horsepower long tail supercar in October 2018. This car is the fastest McLaren Sports Series car ever produced! The base MSRP for the 600LT is $240,000. Although the official number to be produced is not available, speculation puts a limited release number of 500 out there – so claim yours today! Please CONTACT US if you would like more information on this all-new vehicle.
CLICK HERE FOR THE PRICE LIST/ORDER GUIDE for the 2019 McLaren 600LT
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Nearly Rs. 130 crore is riding on Mahesh Babu's action thriller Spyder that was made in two languages.
The film is expected to take the box office by storm, but turned out to be a 'rare dud' from ace director Murugadoss. Spyder had a very average first weekend (5 days) in spite of festival holidays.
Spyder is yet to break into the Rs. 50 crore (share) club (two languages included), which is disastrous considering the costs involved.
Spyder is having a decent Monday (Gandhi Jayanti) across Telugu states, but it is not enough for the film to reach the breakeven mark that is far, far away from this point.
Things will get tougher and bleaker from Tuesday as the holiday season comes to an end. Thankfully, there will not be any new films to hit the screens on this Friday, which will give another weekend to cash in on.
Spyder failed to appeal to the families and youth, the sections that are a major draw for a Mahesh starrer.
Spyder will end up as a big flop unless it shows a miraculous rise in the coming days. That looks near impossible at the moment.
CLICK HERE!! For the In Depth Updates on all the OTT Content


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Little too chocolate
I gotta clean it out from my face
Wash out or lick it?
Whatever I just don't want it
I like spices in meal
but I always try to keep myself clean
and I really hate it
when they have a perception about me.
Little too sensitive?! or somewhat intuitive?!
Sometimes I may seem standing there in between like some psychic
I know rudeness drips from my wings as I flutter but I won't stutter
'cause I can not soak you with all the butter
Neither can I sprinkle it
So let me be or just forget it.
Unlike others


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Baltic Index Nears One-Month Nadir
The Baltic Exchange's main sea freight index fell for a tenth straight session on Monday to its lowest in nearly a month as a combination of better ship supply and easing demand hurt vessel rates.
The Baltic index, which tracks rates for ships ferrying dry bulk commodities, fell 14 points, or 0.8%, to 1,774 points, lowest since July 9. The index has, still, nearly tripled since February, mainly driven by strong demand for vessels that ship iron ore from Brazil into China over the past few months. Activity, however, eased in the past couple of weeks, weighing on vessel rates, analysts said.
The capesize index fell 12 points, or 0.3%, to 3,480 points. Average daily earnings for capesizes, which typically transport 170,000 tonne-180,000 tonne cargoes such as iron ore and coal, fell $130 to $25,619.
The panamax index fell 26 points, or 1.5%, to 1,753 points. The index was down for a ninth straight session. The index fell 15.6% last week, its worst week since week-ending Feb. 1. Average daily earnings for panamaxes, which usually carry coal or grain cargoes of about 60,000 tonnes to 70,000 tonnes, decreased $209 to $14,025.
The supramax index fell 9 points to 959 points.
Reporting by Nallur Sethuraman


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Here is a software suggestion for those of you out there that enjoy doing digital photography and save to RAW format. I am using Photoshop Elements and was getting annoyed having to open all of my files individually in the editor to weed out the unacceptable ones. The Windows Image viewer wouldn't read the RAW files, so what do you do?
The answer, as always, is Google for a free solution. It turns out that most of the major manufacturers of digital cameras are now putting out CODEC files so that the Windows image viewer can read these files. Now I will warn you that it isn't fast, but it is still faster than opening each one in an editor.
Print | posted on Friday, March 28, 2008 5:59 AM
Tim is a Solutions Architect for PSC Group, LLC. He has been an IT consultant since 1999 specializing in Microsoft technologies. Along with running the Chicago Information Technology Architects Group and speaking on Microsoft and architecture topics he was also contributing author on "The Definitive Guide to the Microsoft Enterprise Library".


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New England College
New England College
Doctorate of Education
- Ed D.
- Administrative Leadership
ContactDr. Gavin Henning
Program Statement
The Ed.D. in Higher Eduation Administration program prepares educators to take leadership roles in improving educational systems and advancing student learning and success. The low residency, three- year cohort-based structure of the program is ideal for working professionals, and the focus on applied research allows participants to have an immediate impact on the quality of education in their work environments. The program will also engage students, faculty, and other members of the education community in integrated inquiry into issues that span our educational systems. This unique combination of deep understanding, expanded vision, and diverse professional networks positions participants for innovative, entrepreneurial leadership in a complex and changing world.
Program Outcomes
- Articulate a personal philosophy of professional practice, and a vision for educational organizations, which is responsive to societal challenges of complexity, diversity, and social justice
- Identify and address critical and contemporary issues in educational policy and practice
- Demonstrate knowledge of administrative, leadership, and management practices and structures found in diverse institutions of education
- Assess teaching and learning and create strategies to improve professional practice and student learning
- Use data to inform evidence-based decision-making regarding educational issues, enhance professional practice, and promote organizational change and reform
- Demonstrate skills to work effectively with others, be an advocate for members of the learning community, and lead organizational change and reform
- Demonstrate information and research literacy incorporating of a broad range of education resources and scholarship
- Design and conduct independent and collaborative research
- Demonstrate effective and inclusive written and oral communication skills
There are 7-week terms that will meet approximately once a month (except May-July) at the Henniker, NH campus with a week long residency the first full-week of August. For incoming students coursework begins in July and have a weekend day orientation in June.
Students will meet during two weekends in each seven week course, usually the second and sixth weeks of each course. Each summer the cohort will meet to engage in course work and dissertation development. Participants will display proficiency in meeting the program outcomes through the development of a capstone project, the completion of the dissertation and the creation of an action plan for future growth.
Number of Program Faculty
Visitation Program
- None Required
- Full time
- Hybrid


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It could be argued that Champagne is one of the most likable drinks in the wine family. Just looked at Dom Perignon – everyone from the Benedictine monks to Jay Z and 50 Cent has romanced its virtues.
But even if religion and hip-hop isn't really your thing, there are still a number of Champagnes and bubbles out there that you can enjoy this holiday season.
Here's a list of Vine Styles' top picks:
The Best Deals. Bubbles in the 20s
Agusti Torello Cava ($22.70)
Made in a dryer style than Prosecco, the Torello Cava is smooth and a good accompaniment for almost any occasion.
Pro Frizzante Prosecco ($24.20)
This holiday, if you're after Prosecco then you have to make it Tomasella. With fresh green apple and pineapple in the glass, this is the perfect one to enjoy with some cold Hawaiian pizza on January 1st.
Tomasella Ose ($25.20)
This is another lovely choice. This Rosé Spumante has a touch of sweetness and a good raspberry bouquet. We think this is what you'd call 'La Dolce Vita'.
Domaine de Baud Brut Sauvage Cremant de Jura ($29.95)
Hailing from a lesser-known region of France, the Jura might be mistaken for classic brut Champagne in a blind tasting. It's just remarkable for the price.
Middle Weight Contenders. Bubbles from 40 to 60ish
Graham Beck Cap Classique Blanc de Blanc (33.20)
For those of you who are new to South African bubbles, Graham Beck makes some pretty impressive stuff. In fact, this was the label that Obama used to toast his first night as President of the United States.
These bubbles might not be political but they still have a serious agenda for your taste buds.
Dubl ($45.20)
What happens when a French and Italian winemaker join forces? You get Dubl: A Champagne inspired bubbly from the Southern reaches of Italy.
Made in the same region as Mt. Vesuvius, the duo has created a signature style with indigenous grapes.
Cass Sparkling ($52.60)
Here's a Cali sparkling with a twist. Made with 100% Marsanne this is something new to try. Hello citrus and fresh lemon via the Rhone Valley!
Bubbles For The Big Spender
Recaredo Brut de Brut ($71.70)
Made with a local medley of grapes, the Recaredo shows beautiful layers of flavour thanks in part to being aged for close to 5 years before release. You'll fall in love with the warm citrusy notes on this enchanting Spanish number.
Champagne Henriot Brut 2003 Vintage ($93.20)
Oh là là
For the Pinot Noir lovers out there, the '03 brut will charm you with black fruit notes and a palate that reminds you of a French patisserie.
So haute!
Agusti Torello Kripta Cava ($102)
Now ordinarily, we'd say "Don't judge a wine by its label", but this time we're making an exception.
Made with grapes from old vines in Penedes, Spain, this is a Cava experience. Sold in a round-bottomed wine bottle, this is wine you simply can't put down (both literally and figuratively).


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I'm a kiwi teaching English at a university in South Korea. Its been a while since I studied computers. As part of my preparations for the upcoming semester, I am making an excel spreadsheet:
During this semester, there will be two public holidays (highlighted yellow using conditional formatting). I have calculated my syllabus using a formula based upon when the first day of semester for each class is respectively.
How can I remove these two days (to basically shift each column 'up') without breaking the code for days following the public holiday?


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Classification: Security Droid
Age: Unknown
Builders: Unknown
Romance: No
Over the centuries that have passed since "she" was first activated, SCORPIO has evolved well beyond her initial programming. Designed with the ability to learn and adapt through experience, SCORPIO has amassed several lifetimes' worth of knowledge. Much of what SCORPIO has learned pertains to security and combat, though her upgraded chassis shows that she is a competent engineer, as well.
Her multiple lifetimes of memories have allowed her programming to construct a uniquely narcissistic personality, in which SCORPIO's belief in her superiority and her disinterest in the survival of lesser life forms overrides all else. When she has finished learning from her present situation, SCORPIO will continue on, following her primary programming of heuristically acquiring information.
Bonuses: +2 Slicing Critical, +10 Cybertech Efficiency
Likes: learning and gaining new tech, selfishness, killing threats.
Dislikes: Self-sacrifice, duty, wastefulness
Primary Stat: Aim
Secondary Stat: Endurance
Primary Weapon: Electrostaff
Secondary Weapon: Shield Generator
- Weapon: favorite
- Military Gear: like
- Courting: indifferent
- Luxury: indifferent
- Technology: love
- Republic Memorabilia: indifferent
- Imperial Memorabilia: indifferent
- Cultural Artifact: like
- Trophy: like
- Underworld Good: indifferent


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Hi Jórunn! Tell us about yourself in two sentences - who are you?
I'm an Icelandic independent girl based in Reykjavik, Iceland, working in a bank, but also doing private photo day tours in cooperation with Iceland Photo Tours, which I love cos I can combine my passion for photography with my love for nature. My motto in life is not taking things (and myself) too seriously, and going with the flow trusting the universe... and practising yoga, because I love everything about it.
QWhat's the weirdest situation you've found yourself in while taking a photograph?
AThe weirdest situation is when I was shooting a sunrise at Reynisfjara beach in the south of Iceland, and totally underestimated the big waves out there. I set up my gear for long exposure, standing in the water with my tripod. All of a sudden I saw a big wave coming towards me as I was in the middle of shooting. Since I obviously wanted to save myself and my gear, I grabbed my tripod and ran away. My camera was still processing since it was a long exposure. When I later looked at my shot it was, of course, all blurred and abstracted, so I was gonna delete it but for some reason I didn't, maybe because I loved the colour palette of that picture. A couple of weeks later someone saw my abstract shot and bought my picture.
QWhat do you shoot on? What's your favourite set up?
AI shoot with Canon 5D MarkIII and my favourite lens is Canon 16-35mm f/2.8 because it's a great sharp landscape lens and is excellent for Northern Lights as well. I recently bought the Canon 24-70mm f/2.8 and can't wait to start using it. For portraits and people I love the Canon 85mm lens. I use LEE filters, mostly the 0.9 soft grad, and the ND little and big stopper to create long exposures. I use a Sirui carbon tripod which is really sturdy and light weight too. My back pack is a one from F-stop. My favourite set up is when I'm all by myself in the middle of nowhere using my little and big stopper, doing long exposure shots and listening to music at the same time. Those are the best moments.
QWhat's your number one tip for an aspiring photographer?
A My best tip for aspiring photographers is to follow your heart and let the camera lead the path for you. Eventually you will end at the right place. Don't take rules too seriously. Just go out there and shoot what you love to shoot, do it your way.


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A couple of years ago I talked about 5 reasons to use a zoning plan to manage your staff. In the past I've talked about the importance of zoning plans in your classroom and you can read my previous posts about them here, here, here and here. Today I want to talk about 3 more reasons to use a zoning plan in your room and ways that it can help you.
First, for anyone who doesn't know what a zoning plan is, it's a written document, typically created as a team that outlines what each class staff member (including related service providers at times) does at each time of day in the schedule. It includes everything from who is running morning meeting to who takes the walkie talkie when you go for a walk outside the classroom. You can catch some examples in this post and there is a link to a free form to use to make them.
Today's focus is on the more secondary reasons to use a zoning plan in your room whether in a general education room with more than one staff member, a resource room or a self-contained classroom. These are 3 more reasons a zoning plan will help you.
1. Automation–less talking, more working
A zoning plan automates all the tasks in the classroom. When you get it right and settled (there are always lots of little changes until you get one that works), it tells everyone what to do and then you don't have to. I love it because this means I can focus my attention and my language on the students and not the adults. The more that everyone knows what to do, the more engaged they can be with the students instead of each other.
2. Great for Substitutes
When I create a zoning plan I also create alternate plans for when a person is absent. One alternate is easy to make for a substitute. Let's face it, when you are out sick, if there is a substitute, I'm betting it's your paraprofessionals who fills your shoes. If you have a substitute, a zoning plan allows the para to step into the teacher's shoes and run the classroom, since he/she knows the kids and the routine). I just change the plan so that the para's name is in the teacher's spot and the sub's name is in the teacher's spot. This eliminates the sub getting upset because he/she isn't the "teacher" of the class.
3. Training with 1-Man Down
Another alternate plan I make is a "1-Man Down" plan. This is a plan for the days when someone is absent and you DON'T have a substitute. On those days you have shift around the students in centers so there is one less to be staffed and make other adjustments to run the room effectively with 1 fewer people. This is really helpful because those aren't times you really want to have to think about what to do…you can just pick up the one-man down plan.
However, the other real benefit to the 1-Man Down plan is that you can use it on some days to free you up, as the teacher, to observe and train staff. We all know there is never enough time with the class team to really train them to implement strategies. It came up in a discussion about how to train staff to take data. One way to be able to provide training is to run a 1-Man Down day when everyone is at school. You can also do this if you ever have the opportunity when students are absent, but that doesn't always happen. It doesn't have to be and shouldn't be a frequent occurrence, but it's difficult to determine if interventions are implemented with fidelity and consistently if you are always involved with students yourself. The 1-Man Down zoning plan frees the teacher up to watch and train staff.


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There was a good roll up at this year's Annual General Meeting for 55 Plus which was held recently in the Eastlakes Community Hall. 55 Plus is one of several groups, supported by our Council, who organise a range of activities for our senior residents. There is something for everyone at 55 Plus from art classes, to exercise groups or you can simply enjoy a coffee and conversation. The Club is always ready to welcome new members so if you are looking for something do, keen to make new friends or discover your artistic side then give our Aged Services a call for more details, on 96695295. Back to the AGM … and congratulations and a big thank you to those who have been elected to guide the club for the next 12 months.
The committee members are:
Thelma Gardiner, President; Beryl Bell, Vice President; Doreen Dyce, Secretary; Rose Agosta, Treasurer; Brenda Connolly, Heather Keene, Joyce Larkin, Lucy Rimac and Anne Theodore.
Mar 23, 2010
55 Plus AGM
Posted by Ron Hoenig MP at 9:21 AM
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What kids need is a loving, predictable father figure -- whether married to their mother or divorced. I don't think anyone can argue that point. However, I believe that divorced dads are often portrayed in the media in a negative light. For instance, Alison Patten's article The 'Uncle Dad Syndrome' posted on HuffPost Divorce recently depicts divorced dads as irresponsible blockheads.
The media often portrays a demoralized and demeaning image of divorced fathers. The typical divorced dad comes across as immature, self-centered, and irresponsible. When was the last time you read a story or saw a television show about a caring divorced father who was in touch with the needs of his children? Fathers and their kids suffer from assuming the worst about dads after a family dissolves.
Consequently, it's important to counteract the negative press given to fathers post-divorce and to mention all of the "Forever Dads" who aren't immature, irresponsible or self-centered. What exactly is a "Forever Dad?" They are the ones who don't disappear. The dads you see at dance recitals and soccer games. They try hard to maintain a regular visitation schedule and call when they are running late. They thrive on watching their kids grow and support their healthy development.
In an attempt to better understand the obstacles faced by fathers after divorce, I interviewed several young adult women and their fathers who participated in my research study. The following is a summary of the characteristics that the father-daughter pairs mentioned during our interviews.
A competent dad:
• Considers fatherhood an honor, a privilege, and a lifetime commitment.
• Believes he plays an important role in the life of his kids.
• Values input from his children's mother and speaks well of her.
• Puts his kid's needs first and practices positive parenting.
• Enjoys spending time with his kids.
One of the most outspoken dads I met with, Brian, in his late forties, was eager to tell me about his close bond with his daughter Amanda. Brian personifies a father who is devoted to his daughter and wants the best for her.
Brian never remarried after his four year marriage to Felicia dissolved -- making regular contacts with his daughter Amanda a priority. He describes his split from his ex-wife as contentious, saying "I made a point of recognizing that I'm going to do whatever is in Amanda's best interest. So even if I'm getting a line of baloney from my ex that she doesn't want to come (for a visit), I'm going to respect that. I'm not going to be a disruptive element in Amanda's life."
Amanda, age 19, was an infant at the time of her parents' breakup and the custody arrangement was fairly traditional -- with her spending every other weekend and one weeknight with her dad. Brian has worked hard to reduce conflict with his ex-wife and reports swallowing many words and biting his tongue in an effort to keep the peace. With intensity in his voice, he says, "I always say to Amanda, you do what works for you. I'm not going to feel slighted or upset -- do whatever works for you."
One of the biggest challenges Brian and other dads face is the stereotypes that exist about divorced fathers. It's crucial to examine our beliefs and attitudes about the role of dads after divorce if we are going to break down barriers that create distance between fathers and their children.
In my opinion, fostering alienation between a child and his or her dad is one of the cruelest and most selfish acts a parent can do to their own child. Society perpetuates a negative view of dads post-divorce. The exception is the movie Spanglish, director James Brooks' poignant portrayal of a father who is a far better parent to his daughter than her mother.
What are some of the barriers that prevent dads and kids from maintaining a close bond after parental divorce? Many experts cite the importance of a divorced mom promoting her child's relationship with her father. Whenever possible, mothers need to encourage their children to sustain regular contact with their dads -- such as phone calls, holiday time, and special occasions.
It's also important for moms to eliminate negative comments about their ex-husband so her kids don't feel caught in the middle. Lastly, fathers who remain an integral part of their child's life after divorce can promote a loving relationship that endures through rough patches.
When parents divorce, children are forced to give up their sense of control. Let's face it, divorce is a decision made by parents -- not children. Divorce is a painful experience for everyone, but children raised in disrupted homes often feel the sting of divided loyalties. Loyalty conflicts are frequently at the root of a father/child wound because kids feel they have to choose between their parents. Since children of divorce are particularly vulnerable to conflict between their parents, it's important for parents to be cordial and to avoid arguments.
Non-custodial fathers, I believe, get a bad rap because divorce really disempowers them from being "half-time" parents. Instead, the emphasis is often placed on financial support. I would like to suggest that the emphasis should be equally placed on dads balancing time with their children and meeting their economic needs.
In his landmark book, Always Dad, Paul Mendelstein advises divorced fathers to find ways to play a crucial role in their children's lives. He suggests that they call a truce with their ex-spouse -- to put an end to active fighting and to collaborate. While this is may be a challenge at times, collaboration with an ex paves the way for greater cooperation in the future. Children flourish best when raised by both a father and a mother -- whether in a divorced or intact family.
Follow Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW on Twitter, Facebook, and movingpastdivorce.com