text:
Life Is Absurd. So Is Death.
I maintain that life is absurd, and this is never better demonstrated than when it comes to death.
A one-time colleague of mine died recently. We were not close, despite working reasonably closely on a short project nine or ten years ago, yet – unlike some others I have worked with before and since – he was memorable. When I read of his death I recognised his name immediately and could instantly picture his face. Given that I freelance and meet a lot of people, the same is not true of everybody I have worked with.
I was sorry to read of his passing, always figuring that our paths would cross again some day – socially, if not professionally. Instead, I am left with a memory of that project which has been blurred by time and events that have happened since. While it did not seem appropriate to share my faint half-recollections alongside the tributes being paid on his Facebook page, I went through and read many of them. The public outpouring of love and affection was touching.
What struck me, generally speaking, is this: it seems really sad that you have to die before most people are prepared to reveal the extent of their love for you.
The old adage is true, everyone loves you when you are dead. To my mind that appears a little late to express it. If someone matters that much to you, is it not worth letting them know while they can fully appreciate it?
This world makes no sense. At the risk of being facetious while trying to illustrate this point, next time I am feeling low I might kill myself, just so people say nice things about me.
9/11 – Remember To Remember While You Are Remembering.
Happy 9/11!
I realise that that may come across as a little insensitive, and yet it almost feels like that is how we are supposed to greet this day. There have been plenty of terrorist attacks in the past century, and a significant number of them within my own lifetime. We do not remember, or commemorate, the bombing of the Arndale Centre in Manchester; the Oklahoma and Lockerbie bombings do not have their dates prominently – almost proudly – etched into the public conscience. Without wishing to sound callous – I understand that a lot of families suffered the death or injury of loved ones, and huge numbers of rescuers are condemned to long-term respiratory afflictions – what makes this incident so special?
It is hard to conceive that any other nation on earth would "remember those lost" by offering one-day discounts and other promotional deals. That sounds a lot more like a cheap cash-in than any meaningful form of remembrance, and one golf-course owner faced a backlash after advertising nine holes of golf for $9.11. Here are some other examples.
I am not debating that "9/11" was a shocking and powerful event in recent history, please do not misunderstand me. I merely find it absurd that the date has been added to the collective conciousness, unlike the dates of so many atrocities which have occurred before or since. Do you know when the Mumbai bombings took place? Can you remember which year London had its terrorist atttacks (July, yes – but which year? And what of those conducted by the IRA?)
Every year, it feels like the images of that day are voyeuristically dragged out and replayed for us. The media shouts "Americans died!" at us in case we have forgotten. The loss of life on that scale and in that or a comparable manner is tragic, no question. Yet it feels like we are not being asked to remember that people died, rather that Americans did.
I do not feel the need to be bludgeoned over the head with this footage annually, lest it has slipped my mind. Other terrorism anniversaries are available. Many of them are more dignified, not heralded like some international celebration.
I do not have any answers. I write this blog to draw attention to my observations, specifically when what I see seems unusual and worthy of comment. All that I have written above was intended as preamble, before I reproduced a stand-up comedy routine I performed on the tenth anniversary. It no longer fits here, out of context, and if you want to read it you will find it on my comedy blog. It is gallows humour, because that is the only way I know to deal with life. To replicate it here would be to undermine my point.
My point being, perhaps we would be advised to remember all victims of terrorism, regardless of nationality. As I discovered within minutes of writing this entry, I am not the only one to suggest it.
T-Mobile, Triggering Misery.
Account Number [redacted]
Dear T-Mobile/EE/Everything Everywhere,
I wish to complain about the service you almost provided while I was contracted to you, and the nightmarish circumstances you created when I tried to leave your shoddy excuse for a network provider.
Since T-Mobile merged with Orange to become EE, your signal is more accurately described less as Everything Everywhere and more as Nothing Anywhere. I complained about this lack of service on two or three different occasions in the past few months (via your 150 phone service – "press every number under the sun, and once you have a blister on your finger your call will eventually be answered by someone who is unable to help meaningfully.")
I grew tired of being asked if I had an alternate number you could contact me on. I only have one phone, as it did not occur to me that your service would be so dreadful. Had it, I would have been sure to take out a second contract with another phone company, in order that you could reach me on it when my signal disappeared – as it frequently did, often in the middle of calls to you. I could invoice you for plasters purchased to cover my blistered number-pressing fingers, but I chose to waive those fees rather than speak to further incompetent members of staff.
I use the word "incompetent" advisedly.
It was confirmed in your Glasgow store that much of Greater Glasgow is suffering from poor coverage just now, as you are dismantling masts. Your shop monkey tried to take the edge off it by sympathising "even we don't get much signal." This was little comfort, as you may gather, and while I appreciated his attempt to sympathise it was sorely lacking.
To cut a long story short – the full version is a work-in-progress that will appear on my blog, in two or maybe three parts, with accompanying times, dates, and screen-grabs – after a dozen calls to you it was agreed that you would give me two options. Firstly, I could accept a fifteen percent discount, applied monthly until the end of my contract. My monthly bill never rose higher than twenty-five pounds, and I had zero signal to speak of. You would charge me (at most) £3.75 less per month, in return for which I could continue to suffer your appalling "service" for nearly another year? What a bargain! How about no.
Alternatively, you would release me from my contract early, having checked your systems and discovered that – yes indeed – Glasgow, the biggest city in Scotland and third biggest city in the UK, is not particularly well served by your network. That sounded far more appealing, given that you could not supply any kind of time-frame as to when your masts might actually begin working properly again. I was quickly given a PAC code, which I asked to be repeated to me as I knew how very difficult it had been to speak to somebody capable of issuing it, and I wrote it down.
At this time, having wasted three hours of my Saturday night trying to get enough signal to call you, and having been passed from department to department, I asked about the terms and conditions of transferring my number. It was explained to me, patiently enough as I made myself very aware of your procedures, that my PAC code (read and repeated for confirmation again) would be active for thirty days, and that my contract would not end until I used it. Failure to use it would see my contract remain unchanged. This seemed reasonably straightforward, and I made sure to equip myself with (I believed) all of the facts during this phonecall.
A week later, I found myself in Northern England. I went there deliberately, so it was no great surprise to find myself there. It was equally unsurprising to discover that your service/signal/network/coverage is just as bad down there. As I was there for seven days, armed with the PAC code that I had jotted down phonetically, and confirmed phonetically twice, I called into the shop of a nearby rival. Within an hour I had chosen a new phone and payment plan, agreed to their terms, and left jubilant that finally I would be able to receive calls as they were made. Hell, I could even send texts and browse online – all of the fundamental basics that you should have been supplying as contracted.
This other company informed me that my number would transfer within a few hours, maybe a few days. Four days later, I had to contact them to find out why my number had not been transferred to my new phone. The answer? You had given me an incorrect PAC code. I was condemned to keeping my old phone to hand for a longer period, until I would get back to Glasgow.
In the meantime – and really, bonus points for being utterly useless here – since being given my (evidently wrong) PAC code, you had begun sending me texts thanking me for signing up to T-Mobile. I received texts telling me all about your wonderful company which I had just left due to you not providing the service you were legally obliged to.
Once I returned home, I was met with written confirmation of my PAC code. It was different to the one I had been given verbally, and thus was not so much confirmation as new information. I duly gave it to my new supplier, who was able to use it and transfer my number accordingly. Shortly afterwards, I was able to use my existing number with my new phone, and for a brief spell all was right with the world. Then you spoiled it, as your ineptitude suggested you would.
I was sent a final bill, which contained a load of figures that seemed unwarranted. Rather than waste further hours of my life trying to contact you, and heartily sick of your inability to function anything like competently, I ignored it. I guessed that, if it was important, you would contact me again, and you did.
This time, in bold letters at the top of the page, you announced that I had an overdue balance. My account had now been disconnected from the T-Mobile network, you said, and followed "for your service to be restored, please pay the amount in full stated at the top of this letter."
The quoted sentence is important. I did not want my service, such as it was, to be restored – and so I did not pay you any money. I did not trust you to not try and reconnect me, since – until this juncture – there was no acion on your part that instilled confidence in me.
You wrote to me again, three weeks later, an identical letter (save for the amount asked for) which opened the same way. Again, as I have no desire for you to restore my service, I did not pay "the amount stated at the top of this letter." That said, as my hand had healed somewhat, I was willing to risk new blisters. I dialled your customer service number, and pressed all of the required keys to talk to one of your employees. She was very helpful, inasmuch as she was thoroughly unhelpful.
She went through my final bill, breaking it into its component parts. It includes a "notice period charge", and she explained that it is the fee charged for providing me with a PAC code. I suggested I should be given a discount, since I was provided with an incorrect code and thus inconvenienced. In truth, I told her outright that I dispute that amount as at no point – during the conversation whereby I decided to leave T-Mobile – was I informed that I would be charged for doing so. It had been a lengthy conversation, given that I received my PAC code and confirmed it, while asking for all of the relevant information regarding the issuing and use of the code, and I am sure you can go back and listen to it for quality and training purposes.
I asked this new staff member for an email address, so that I could put this complaint in writing. Unbelievably, she told me that T-Mobile do not communicate by email, and I countered by asking which century you are operating in. Her argument, weak as it was, is that you prefer all complaints to be in writing and sent by post, so that you can keep them all in one place. As much as I refuse to undermine my argument by resorting to cursing, this sounds like complete bullshit.
She seemed to suggest that, rather than have my complaint sent quickly and directly, to be stored in as many locations as you wish to copy it to, making it instantly and easily retrievable, you would prefer that I type it, print it, affix a stamp, and entrust it to the Royal Mail. Perhaps your internal servers are as dubious as your network coverage? This is the only reason I can imagine which would necessitate the involvement of a postman to resolve this. Unless you have suddenly elected to support and reinvigorate the flagging reliance on their centuries-old infrastructure.
Once I thanked the girl for her assistance, having jotted down the postal address she furnished me with, I did as all modern-day endurers of appalling service do, and went online to register my disdain for your company. While there, connected to the internet by a rival company who manage to fulfil that contracted duty, I decided to find a number for your head office. I had hardly begun browsing your terrible website before a box popped up, inviting me to chat to someone. Here we go! I asked for an email address to make my complaint and – incredibly – it was immediately forthcoming, without hesitation.
Why is it, then, that your advisors disagree on the methods of communication open to your customers? I resent being misinformed by the telephone advisor, only to be given the correct information online minutes later and without fuss.
Now, with the tools necessary to document my subjection to your poor standards and inconsistent policies, I could begin writing. I took my time, admittedly, since this is a lengthy complaint and one I wished to word well. The telephone advisor had said that she would make a note on my account, saying that I had called in and planned to discuss the amount you claim I owe. I was under the impression, perhaps misguidedly, that I had bought myself time to compose a letter worthy of all the hassle and stress you have caused me.
Today, 7th September, I received a letter from [redacted] Debt Recovery Limited. You can guess the rest, I am sure, but my account has been passed to them. The next step is that I need to contact them and explain that I am in dispute with you, regarding the amount allegedly owed. I look forward to that chat, it gives me buckets of joy repeating the same thing to so many of your employees and associates.
I propose an alternate solution.
You can immediately waive the £[redacted] "Notice Period Charge";
You can also dismiss the outstanding amount*, in lieu of the hassle and inconvenience of addressing your repeated failings and inconsistencies;
You can re-word the opening of your standard letter, so that it does not suggest that payment of final bills will result in reconnection to your service. I am prepared to give this advice free of charge, and shall not charge a consultant's fee for recommending it.
You will note that I have appended an asterisk(*) after mentioning the outstanding amount. Here is why:
A letter from T-Mobile, dated 02/08/13, gives the outstanding balance as £[redacted].
My final bill, dated July '13, and a letter dated 23/08/13, both give the outstanding balance as £redacted].
This letter from [redacted] Debt Recovery Ltd claims that the balance due is £[redacted].
Prior to having spoken to them, I would expect you to clarify how much you believe me to owe your company. Although it is a moot point, as I stand by my request that you write off the amount in full and with immediate effect.
You are the worst telecommunications company I have ever encountered, unable to justify your existence or provide even the most basic of services. Not only is your network and signal provision a joke, but your staff repeatedly fail to corroborate the most fundamental information. Instead of chasing me for your mistakes, your finances would be better spent on improving your national systems and in administering training.
I anticipate a full response to this letter. Unlike you, I accept emails – although you may use Royal Mail if doing so truly is an altruistic act on your part. At the very least, I demand an explanation for your continued failings throughout this troublesome episode, and I would like it in writing (typed or joined-up) that I no longer owe you any money.
Thank you for making me waste another few hours of my life documenting all of this, yet again.
Yours insincerely (apart from the bit about waiving any amount outstanding, I am entirely sincere about that),
Radio Uncontrolled Cars
I have mentioned previously that I once worked, in a temporary capacity, for the Inland Revenue (as it then was.) Regular readers know that all the stories I tell here are my own, observed by me and not apocryphal. Everything I document I can substantiate, with further background detail and facts as appropriate.
This is a break from the norm, a story told by a colleague who had the desk opposite mine. I cannot vouch for its authenticity, but he told it well and I have told it often since, without ever encountering it in any other form or from any other source. I am not sure how it will translate to the written word, but told with gusto it is very entertaining.
My workmate had previously been in the army, relating an incident that occurred when they were on manoeuvres, or out training in some capacity. His team were hidden in the undergrowth on the side of a hill, above a road that cut across the landscape but which gave way to a valley on the other side. My friend had control of the unit's radio, being taken aback when suddenly, from nowhere, a landrover came roaring up the road. It took off when it hit the crest, bouncing down and continuing on its way at some speed.
Above: Hide-and-seek, with guns.
Next thing, another landrover comes after it, flying up the road but missing it when it lands. The landrover tumbles down the hillside, while my friend looks to his group for advice. If this were war, the enemy vehicle would not trouble them. However, being an exercise, he is unsure whether to call it in or not – technically these are his comrades, and they may need help. He reaches for the dial. Suddenly, from behind him, high up on the hill, he hears his commanding officer bellow "don't touch that radio!"
He looks round, and sees his sergeant (or whatever rank he may be) tearing down the hillside. He is red in the face, leaping over rocks and tearing through heather, vaulting over prostrate soldiers and small shrubs. Shocked into inaction, my friend again hears the same shouted command:
"Don't touch that fucking radio!"
My friend is at a loss, already unaware of the correct course of action and now unsure of the intentions of his superior. His superior is still charging over the terrain, making the final leap that lands him in the ditch next to my friend. Without a word, he grabs the radio and immediately screams into it "there's a rover rolled-over, over."
Turning to my friend, he smiles and says "I've waited fucking years to say that!"
Outward Bound At The Inland Revenue
I used to work for the Inland Revenue, long before it was renamed Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs, and at the time when Working and Child Tax Credits were being introduced.
It was an alright job, for what it was, and it gave me an insight into civil service life and how much money is (or was) squandered there. My job was to check data that had scanned incorrectly when the application forms went through OCR, by calling people up or issuing letters to enquire whether their name was John (as common sense would dictate) rather than what the computer had read and input as j04n. Initially, such judgement calls were disallowed, and I had many embarrassing conversations asking for details that seemed obvious.
We processed a huge number of claims, so efficiently that our contracts were repeatedly extended while other centres in the UK wound down. There were incidences of two teams in the same building working on the same caseload, though, and occasionally we would contact people or read notes only to find out that someone else had done the same work an hour earlier. We came in at night and worked for a few hours, getting attitude from the permanent day staff whose desks we had to use. I signed the Official Secrets Act before starting there, and at the time I was convinced it was so I could not tell anyone how badly the place was run.
It is my firm belief that nobody is truly incompetent until they work for the government.
I was part of a small team working in a huge glass-walled office building, and we got on well. We would socialise together, initially sharing jokes and collaborating on the paper's cryptic crossword when the work dried up, as it frequently did during the evening. As we worked through printed lists of National Insurance numbers, pulling up files and generating letters or making calls as appropriate, there was a great sense of camaraderie. Being young, and perceiving incompetence within the methodology and managers, we were passively rebellious. All of us took smoking breaks, regardless of nicotine intake, and the best days were Sundays and Bank Holidays. These were voluntary, and you would be assigned to some supervisor who did not know you. Many were the hours of taxpayers money wasted as we sat and played Solitaire instead of doing paperwork. You had to be careful, though – if it was dark outside, and you were sitting facing into the office (so your monitor display could not be seen), the reflection of it in the window was occasionally noticed.
Above: My workplace for some of 2003
One colleague successfully used the Jedi Mind Trick on our boss, when asked to hand in a contract renewal form. He waved his hand in front of the gaffer's face, telling him "I already gave you it back." The boss moved away, before realising this was an untruth.
Another friend asked me to join her on a smoking break, during a Bank Holiday shift when we were being largely unmonitored. Outside, with no cigarettes, we jumped into her van and drove to the shops. On the way back, being a nice day, she suggested a detour. I had no real choice, given that hers was the sole mode of transport back to the office, and it was not ideally situated for walking. I do not advocate skiving, and I am ordinarily conscientious and hard-working. However, as it really was a nice day, and since we were driving past the park anyway, I had no issue with stopping for a while.
Admittedly, drinking a recreational drug, then hiring a pedalo and cruising on the park's lake, might have been taking the piss a wee bit. If every smoking break lasted ninety minutes and included a boat-ride in the sunshine, while paid on the company's time, I would take up the habit.
To reiterate, I do not condone this as the actions of a responsible adult. However, I was only twenty-two at the time – an adult, but still irresponsible. We were on temporary contracts with definite end-dates, and I was starting my degree that year, and so I held no real fear of repercussion.
Above: James Hamilton Park, island not in shot.
Entry to the building was, as you may imagine, strictly controlled. Photographic ID was issued, and checked by security guards manning the front doors. Nobody was exempt, and our shift began with several hundred people filing past the uniformed staff glancing at every pass. It seemed to me that they did not always give their full attention to the job, and in my last week I elected to have some fun.
I wanted to find a picture of a gorilla, that I could cut out and stick over my photo. I am not saying that they were lax, but as I write that sentence I realise that it is indicative of the solemnity with which we did not treat this job. I cannot fathom, now, that I would ever pull that stunt while working for a high-profile authoritative department. At the time, it was in keeping with our collective attitude, but I failed to find an appropriate photo (this being the age before the internet really took off, when Encarta was as close as you got to a Google image search.) I did manage to locate an image of Al Pacino, however, and duly substituted it. Nobody noticed, at all.
I endeavoured to make the point, kicking subtlety out of the window and jettisoning the star of Dog Day Afternoon. I needed something bolder, something so ridiculous that to not spot it would be hilariously inept. I found a book that had been an unwanted present, setting about it with a pair of scissors and deftly removing the face of another movie icon. I attached it over my own headshot, and the next day – my last – I walked into the office unchallenged, despite having a photographic ID card that, in place of me, bore the likeness of Darth Vader.
Above: "Hi, I'm Darth Vader, and you may be entitled to Working Tax Credit."
Before condemning the desk staff for being particularly unobservant, it is worth noting that I was very visually recognisable in those days. The dress code was "no football shirts, nothing offensive" and I took that to the extreme. This later became a staple of my stand-up set, but every word of it is true, right down to the final, contemporary observation:
"When I was 20, everyone had wallet chains. I had a wallet chain and four pairs of handcuffs, hanging from the belt-loops of my blue camouflage combats. Those were tucked into my calf-high Doc Martens, and I wore them with a band t-shirt. On top of that, I wore a white doctors coat, and on the back of it I painted 'Trust Me' in red, so it looked like blood. The sleeves were rolled up and on the left forearm I wore a black leather spiked armband, which ran from wrist to elbow with spikes two-inches high all down it. On the other arm, I had a smaller armband, with smaller spikes. On my head, I wore a black top hat.
I might have looked like a dick, but I had a fucking cool shadow."
Taking A Walk On The Wildlife Side
I walk a lot, and think nothing of it. I would like to say that this is indicative of a healthy lifestyle, but it is just something that was instilled in my nature a long time ago.
I grew up in a residential area, an area not served by public transport. Due to its relative proximity to the town centre, a walk from my childhood home to the nearest bus stop was, in effect, a walk to where I would want a bus to take me. The two primary schools I attended were similarly located, and my secondary school was not much further away. I had a bicycle for going longer distances – my friend's bit at the top of the town; the local parks – but I made a two-mile round trip to school every day, by foot and whatever the weather. As a teenager, if I wanted to go somewhere, I walked.
When I moved to Glasgow, my first flat was situated at Charing Cross. This busy city intersection, where several motorway junctions converge with Argyle Street, Sauchiehall Street, and Great Western Road, was not well-served by public transport either. From the front door of my close, the nearest bus stop was at least halfway in the direction of where I wanted to be. Given the congestion, and our notorious one-way streets, I found that I could easily cross the city quicker than the average bus. While a double-decker bound for my destination idled at yet another set of traffic lights, I would be cutting down side streets and darting across junctions, making good time despite the weight of an extra couple of quid in my pocket – coins unspent on a fare.
Above: Map of Glasgow City Centre
As I came to know the layout of my adoptive hometown, I realised that everything is near everything else – if not geographically then psychologically. Aided by the grid system of the city centre, I quickly discovered that there are a dozen different routes to a given place, and it is remarkably easy to work out in which direction you are heading. I love this city (and its people) and, as much as I despise living in the UK, I cannot envisage living anywhere else. Part of my loathing for shopping malls stems from this desire to roam freely – I resent being herded along a single, congested thoroughfare.
Now that I live four miles from the centre of Glasgow, I still regularly make my way home on foot. One of my friends sees this constant walking as me seeking solitude, creating a space where I allow my thoughts to breathe, and this observation is astute of him. The road I walk, literally and not figuratively, is largely straight. Despite the distance, this makes it seem closer than it is – closer still if I have the partial company of someone who lives on the route. It is this last stretch, once we have gone our separate ways, and often in the early hours of the morning, where my plans formulate. The stillness of the night is remarkable, in stark contrast to the noise of four lanes of jammed and stationary vehicles which will congregate there a few hours later.
Whether I walk to think, or think because I am walking, it is a useful way to sort the notions and ideas in my head. Many is the one-liner or wee story that has come from this quiet time, or from an encounter just prior to it. Scenarios suggest or present themselves, and I twist them until I find the perfect way to express them – as a sentence, as a set of jokes that build, or as an entry on this site.
Above: The West End Festival 2013, as it passed Kelvingrove Art Gallery.
Earlier this year, at the West End festival, we followed it into and out of Kelvingrove Park. The park has a number of entrances, leading onto at least four main roads, and as the crowd dispersed a disoriented chap next to me stopped to get his bearings. "Whit street's this?" he asked, as I passed, before working out which direction he needed to go in.
This incident came to mind late last week, when I went for a wander along the canal that is beside my home. I knew there was a path from it to the Botanic Gardens, but had never successfully found it. Although starting aimlessly, I took a turn off the towpath as idle curiosity drove me to seek it out. Taking this unknown route, passing through avenues of trees and diverting past some high flats, before negotiating down to and following the river, it would be easy to lose track of your position. I did not fear becoming lost, confident that I could always retrace my steps, but I imagined an exchange with the adroit wit of a typical, though non-existent, Glaswegian. We meet as we are walking in opposite directions along the canal, with me trying to find my way to this park.
"If I keep walking in this direction, where will I get to?"
"The coast."
Above: Route to the east coast, if you are in no rush.
if i was still doing stand-up comedy, I might have used this or transformed it into something else. Instead, it went unwritten. At the weekend, I came to relate all of this in conversation – an acquaintance asking:
"Which canal, the Forth and Clyde Canal?"
"Then it would take you to the Forth, or to the Clyde."
"Oh yeah. It was well-named."
You would still get to the coast, you would just come to a tidal river first.
Had I turned this into a tall story, I would now have a second or possibly even third laughter point in it. I yet might. I did, however, chance upon the correct turn-off – my walk along the waterway cleared my head, gave me a new joke, and the idea for this blog, and enhanced my knowledge of the local area. Compare that to the constant stop-start of smelly buses, noisily polluted by modern technology, arguing neds, crying children, and accompanied by the sounds of unnecessary air conditioning and a loudly-throbbing engine.
Buses can go fuck themselves. There is a more serene and scenic way to travel – foot.
Above: A more tranquil way to get to the Botanic Gardens, avoiding Great Western Road.
Driven To Distraction
I applied for my provisional driving license as I turned seventeen, receiving it once I reached the legal age to take lessons.
I was not champing at the bit to learn, counting down the days as some of my peers did. It was just something that was done – celebrate the milestone birthday, obtain license, find an instructor, book test, be allowed on the roads. My older cousins and my friends and schoolmates had been or were all in the throes of going through the same process. I did not really know what I was doing when I was seventeen, generally speaking, and being rather laid-back I simply followed the path that was prescribed for me. That is, stay in school until sixth year, sit my exams, spend three or four years at university, and then emerge with a degree and a sense of the career that would fill my twenties and beyond.
It did not happen like that. I went to Strathclyde University, started and dropped out of two very different degrees, and left to work in a shop for a while, before finally graduating from an unaffiliated institution seven years later. I remember that at the Open Days, when all the departments set out stalls to sell their courses, I completely flummoxed several of my prospective tutors – with no idea which path I wanted to follow, they asked what subjects I was studying. I was in the process of gaining my Higher Drama and my Certificate Of Sixth Year Studies in Maths – two unrelated subjects that failed to suggest any obvious route into further education.
Above: Bob Newhart's classic take on Driving Instruction.
In the end, I did my degree in the technical side of theatre, specialising in scenic carpentry. It maintained my interest in drama, and utilised my maths skills too. Ultimately, it neglected to offer the steadiest of employment opportunities, as I discovered, but it did at least sustain my interest.
Anyway, with regard to my provisional driving license, I booked lessons and trained to the required standard to pass my test. My instructor found out that I played the guitar (in truth, I owned a guitar. To say that I played it is stretching the extent of my abilities), and we connected over that. His advice was always that I should treat my guitar like I would treat a woman, or maybe it was the other way round – I forget now. That was the upshot, though, and I shall rise above the cheap and crude hack jokes that arise from guitars having G-strings, and from what you do with your digits to elicit a pleasant sound.
I never sat my theory test, which prevented me from taking the practical, even though I was repeatedly told that I would sail through it, so to speak. I cannot now fathom why I did not put in the final bit of effort to secure my right to sit behind the wheel, and regret this shortcoming. I tried to get back into it several times in the intervening years, always being met by some obstacle or other – funding being the main one. it is not a cheap thing to acquire.
Above: Rikki Fulton and Tony Roper, Scottish comedy legends.
Part of me relates it to the time that, turning into a packed residential street with poor visibility, my instructor leapt on the brake to prevent me from driving into the back of an ambulance. The sight of an old woman lying on the road outside her church, in a compact area crammed with parked cars and now hosting a couple of police cars and the aforementioned ambulance, would stay with the most seasoned of drivers, far less an intermediate. He took care of all the footwork while directing me to do some exceptionally tight steering. I managed to negotiate around the parked cars; the emergency vehicles; the attendant paramedics and officers; the bystanders and fellow emerging churchgoers; and the oncoming traffic – but the image and the experience stayed with me.
Another part of me is reluctant to learn now, even if the funds were available, believing that it is just tempting fate. I have visions of crashing and burning within days of getting my license, leading to painful scenes at my funeral as people remark on the irony – "he waited fifteen years to get his license, got into a car and died the next day." It would be a good story, one that people would enjoy telling thanks to the morbidity and the twist, but there are other stories that I would prefer to be part of instead. Given the choice.
This year I will be thirty-two, and I have held my provisional license for fifteen years. It has recently occurred to me that, In two years time, my provisional driving license will be old enough to apply for its own provisional driving license.
It Takes The Donations Of Millions To Move Us Forwards.
Like eighteen million others, I am now on the Organ Donor Register – but not by choice. This is surprising, as it seems a very personal decision to not be consulted on.
I have had plenty of chances to voluntarily sign up for donation, and have avoided all of them for no rational reason. I simply omitted to give it any thought, beyond the fleeting ones that occurred naturally, and those providing me with images with which I did not wish to contend. It was preferable to completely skip the issue, with its grisly reminder of mortality, and focus on something relatively cheerful instead.
It is five years since I first registered with a GP in Glasgow, and I have moved flat twice since then. One of my friends has just moved into my neighbourhood and, as she needed to find a practice to join, I took the opportunity to accompany her and sign myself up with a nearer surgery. The form had a section enquiring about one's desire to participate in organ donation after death, and I bypassed it as I always have before. It is my understanding that Scotland, if not the entire UK, operates an opt-in scheme rather than an opt-out one; that is, you ask to be added to the scheme, you are not automatically added and then required to ask for your name to be withdrawn. The proposed mandatory inclusion is frequently subject to debate, but – as yet – consent is not presumed. That said, Wales has recently voted to introduce it.
Two letters in identical envelopes arrived in the post yesterday, one addressed to me and one to my friend, who provided this as a care-of address during a recent transitional period. My letter thanks me "for joining the NHS Organ Donor Register through the GP service," which I absolutely did not do. I jotted a note asking whether she had agreed to this, attached it to her mail, and popped it through her door when I was passing. The answer was no, or more specifically "what the fuck?! I haven't signed anything like that."
Either we both managed to misread the forms, agreeing to something that neither of us had a desire to volunteer for, or the receptionist or other unknown staff member ticked those boxes for us once they were out of our possession. It is nice to feel wanted, but disconcerting to think that only specific bits of us are wanted, and then only after the necessary precursor of death.
It has been pointed out to me that I can have my name removed if I wish. I am unable to think of sufficient justification for that, though. "Sorry, I have decided to keep all my organs once I have no further use for them. Tell those suffering that I'd like to help, but I'm not going to." Better, I feel, to just concur. Among other vital parts, they want to take my heart, lungs, and liver – so I might save a few lives, and if not then they can cook up a sizeable haggis for the wake.
Above: My only previous encounter with Organ Donors.
My friend was equally pragmatic and shared my gallows humour, taking to Facebook to complain about the surgery's apparent amendment to our completed registration documents. She added, referring to her party lifestyle, that "when I die, I won't care what will happen to my body, so actually they can take whatever they want. Apart from the liver, cos I don't have it any more."
My sole objection, taking a very broad overview, is that I firmly believe the world is drastically over-populated; that there are already more people than the earth's resources can sustain and it does us no favours to prolong life. However, reducing it to individual cases, I can only begin to imagine the difference that it must make to those who receive transplants, and the improvement to the lives of those who love and care about them. Condensed to that level, and being largely compassionate despite my inherent cynicism, I have no complaints. My name will remain on the list of potential donors.
If you want to register, or find out more, you can do so:
Witness The Unconventional Solving Of A Bloody Problem
I used to post regularly on an internet forum for industry students and professionals. In truth, I posted too regularly, and without putting sufficient thought into many of my musings. It is important to know your audience – not on a personal level, but in order to gauge what is or is not appropriate. I was often inappropriate.
I did not deliberately set out to shock or offend, but I have a strange sense of humour and it does not always come over well in person, far less online. I have some unusual and off-kilter ideas, which I like to think is a keen sense of the absurd, but that does not always translate well to everyday people. It appears to be very good, in particular, for alienating me from vast swathes of middle- and southern-English people and from readers of the Daily Mail. After a year or so of frequent posting and resultant raised eyebrows, one of the more tolerant forum moderators politely but firmly suggested that I should perhaps find an alternative outlet.
I began channelling my creativity into writing less publicly, if not less provocatively, managing to complete a few drafts of a screenplay and one draft of an unpublished novel. I also took up stand-up comedy as a way of putting my skewed view and less-conventional thoughts across, with wit. I have barely posted on that forum since, and am grateful to (and respect) the mod who advised me to quit while I was behind. There were a few bones of contention, it seems, but one remains foremost in my mind – posted after I read two unrelated news stories and concocted an unorthodox solution.
Homosexual men are not allowed to donate blood, or were not (they can as of November 2011, provided they have not had anal or oral sex in the preceding twelve months.) There may be a shortage, certainly the campaigns never cease, and there is hypocrisy inherent in this legislation. Firstly, all donors are screened and all donations fully tested, making it ridiculous to exclude much-needed volunteers on the grounds of sexual preference. Secondly, there are plenty of promiscuous heterosexual people, some of whom statistically do not take sufficient precautions against contracting diseases. You can be straight and sleep with a dozen partners a week, yet you can still opt to give blood while a long-term monogamous gay couple are barred outright. This makes no sense.
At the same time, the religious beliefs of Jehovah's Witnesses prohibit them from accepting blood transfusions. There have been a couple of high-profile news stories reporting on deaths that have come about from this backward notion. If someone you love is dying, and they could be saved by a relatively simple procedure that has been successfully carried out many thousands, if not millions, of times before, then I cannot fathom the mentality that would instead let them die.
I saw a chance to link these issues. You could immediately start taking blood donations from homosexual people, and then only offer it exclusively to Jehovah's Witnesses – who would refuse it.
In this way, the gay community would be able to volunteer without prejudice, the blood banks would be able to maintain their outdated practices, and the Jehovah's would be able to continue dying unnecessarily like they think their god wants.
In hindsight, I am inclined to agree that this is a bit of an extreme argument to make unsolicited on an unrelated forum. The proposed changes are hardly cost effective for a start. My main argument is that blood is blood, and since it is thoroughly checked then the source should not matter (well, provided it is voluntarily given.)
Since I first posted this evidently unpopular suggestion, the rules changed and gay men who have been celibate or abstained from sex for a year can now willingly contribute – which is a small advancement, at least. It is possible that the religious doctrine is changing too.
A Different Kind Of Drinking Problem.
A major international soft drink manufacturer has recently begun emblazoning common first names on containers of their main products. I am unwilling to name the company in question, as I do not believe in giving most brands any undue mention that may help further embed their names in the public conscious. I am also certain that you can imagine who I refer to, given my opening sentence. They are not known for scrimping on their advertising or sponsorship budgets.
It is probably a shrewd move on their part to personalise bottles, leading people to seek out specific names and perhaps buy something they would otherwise not have purchased. I detest advertising and marketing though, and the dedicated psychologies that target consumers in attempts to sell us things we do not need and that do not benefit us. I make a deliberate effort to try and remain unsusceptible, as far as possible, while being aware of the power of suggestion. I despise commercials that are designed to tempt us by asking "why not try…?" or telling me to "go on," "treat myself," or that I "am worth it." Use of these and similar phrases is a sure-fire way to make me boycott whatever service or product you are hawking.
In the supermarket recently, I noticed a display of these canned soft drinks. Rather than being aimed at one person, as the individual bottles are, the multipacks are for sharing with "friends" or "family", something about "summer", and the one that caught my attention – "everyone."
It is not clear to me how it can be possible to share twelve cans with "everyone." One possible explanation is that this multinational corporation has now developed such a messianic view of itself that it believes that its primary carbonated output is akin to five loaves and two fish. Even Jesus only managed to feed five thousand in that way, considerably less than the current population of the world which could generally be considered to constitute "everyone." With approximately seven billion people on earth, most are going to get barely a sniff from this particular pack size.
Another possibility is that a dozen people is indeed everyone. Given that there are no provisos, such as "everyone at your party" or "everyone in the meeting," perhaps this design was accidentally released for sale early, being intended to go out after the nuclear holocaust/flooding/mutated superbug decimated our human number down to barely double figures. If this is the case, then how could the manufacturer know just how many survivors would be left? Conspiracy theorists, you can have some fun here if you wish.
A more realistic slogan would be to advocate sharing beverages with The Dirty Dozen, or with 12 Angry Men. You could try giving them to the days of Christmas, or to the Christian apostles. If you were so inclined, you could have one and spread the rest around every member of your favourite football team. Alternatively, they could have stopped short of quantifying who you should share it with, as it seems they have grossly underestimated how many of us there are.
When I ran the above observation past a friend, she envisaged a far different scenario – that you would share this liquid by opening a pack and distributing the contents freely to other shoppers around you. I much prefer this idea, taking the caption at face value and immediately presenting passers-by with tins as instructed. It would be similar to the experiment conducted in the brilliant pop-culture Adam And Joe Show of the late nineties, when they helped themselves to the free percentages of promotionally-marked items.
In response to this global supplier's current strategy of printing different names on their bottles, the makers of Scotland's homegrown and most popular soft drink adopted the idea with tongue firmly in cheek. Tying in to their own current advertising campaign, they printed up several thousand limited-edition bottles with the girls name Fanny. As well as being an outdated forename, the term is an everyday slang name for the female genitals and – therefore – also used as a (relatively mild) insult, often between friends and on a par with eejit or numpty. Ya mad fanny.
They also produced bottles named Tam, Rab, and Senga – the first two being very common Scots versions of Tom and Rob, and the third being a ubiquitous though now largely under-used girls name.
Given the dual meaning of "fanny," it is easy to derive risque or vulgar humour from it. For instance, with reference to the photo below, it can be said that it is wet and it tastes good; it is best enjoyed when it is wet on the inside; some guys see it and lose their bottle; nothing wrong with a bit of fanny juice. You can probably come up with your own too, and by placing two bottles together you can refer to them colloquially as "a pair of fannies."
I do hate advertising, and yet I have a wee soft spot for a local, highly successful business whose ad campaigns are famously risky, cheeky, bold, funny, innovative, silly, memorable, definitely Scottish, parodical, and genuinely entertaining. It makes them a lot more tolerable.


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Did you hear the news? This year, 100 percent of Ballou High School's senior class applied to college! We could not be more proud of the graduating class of 2017. Wow!
This an exciting accomplishment for any school, but for Ballou it represents an incredible effort on behalf of a very dedicated team of people: the school administration, counselors, senior class teachers, and of course the students, all of whom were motivated to dream bigger and set higher expectations for themselves and for the next generation.
We at Shout Mouse are honored and proud to also be part of this team, as this year our story coaches supported nearly 50 members of the senior class in writing their personal statements for college applications. This has been an ongoing commitment for Shout Mouse -- since the fall of 2013, every year we have been coaching the students of Ballou to write authentic personal stories for college and scholarship applications. We are so motivated by this project, as there is no time that telling their stories powerfully on the page can have a greater impact on the trajectory of their lives. We are also proud to be part of the movement to make college accessible, expanding horizons of possibility for all students. We don't believe that college is the only path to a happy, successful future, but in many communities, simply having options is an enormous step in the right direction.
Over the past four years, in working to unearth these stories for college applications, the Ballou Story Project was born, and three beautiful books manifested as a result: How to Grow Up Like Me, Our Lives Matter, and Humans of Ballou. The stories that have come out of the college application process at Ballou are often ones that don't get told and don't get celebrated. By simply providing the necessary platform, students are able to write and publish those stories, which lends a special sort of agency. We believe that holding agency over one's own voice is fundamental to the development and wellness of our writers, and to writers everywhere.
This year, as part of our mission of providing effective and innovative ways of amplifying unheard voices, we are doing something different. On Thursday, April 13 at 7 p.m., with the help of our partners at Young Playwrights' Theater, Ballou Story Project 4 will hit the stage. That's right. Our authors are now playwrights writing for professional actors!
For weeks, students have worked very hard to polish their personal statements and then to adapt them for the stage. I think we can all agree those are two ambitious tasks that our writers have handled with grace and maturity. We are so very excited for this next step in the Ballou Story Project journey and we can't wait for you to see it (and shout about it!)
If you're in the DC area, come join us April 13, and spread the word! RSVP here.

subset: commoncrawl


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A Meeting of the Minds
Consultation Services
With our customer in mind, Burns Farms is offering consultation services for those who dream or perhaps want to take their cowherd to another level. David Burns, the farm manager, has the education and experience to assist you with a variety of needs. Below is a list of the services we can provide:
- Herd Development
- Genetic pairings
- Registration Growth
- Herd Bull or Semen Selection
- Assistance with Artificial Insemination
- Embryo and Recipient Options
- Pasture Management
- Show Prospect Selection
- Commercial Herd Options
Cost of services will depend on location and request. Please contact David or Katie Burns to schedule initial phone inquiries.
David is also available for judging opportunities and speaking engagements. And we always welcome Agriculture Extension Tours and Judging Teams.
We can help you build a Lasting Legacy or assist you with starting the right Foundation.


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I may just have to distribute these on my campus...
I may just have to distribute these on my campus...
Hi, I'm Annie, enthusiast of words, development, faith, ideas, travel, design, movies, hygge, stories, and a good laugh.
First time here?
A few posts to get you started:
Passing the bridge of sighs
A modest proposal
A modest proposal ii
Adeste fideles
Uncurbed enthusiasm
Liner notes to growing up
Sunday dinner @ 135
Playing big
In praise of late bloomers
Bless her heart
Paging EB White
Nine and a half
Madeleine, 16
Keystone parents
She holds these truths
Louie, Louie
Latest Instagrams:
Writing Elsewhere:


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Dear Diary,
On Thursday I felt a fleeting moment of happiness and I loved it. Remember that Mind volunteering job I wanted? The one where I'd get to write and make a difference to those who suffer from mental distress? Well I got the job. I know I don't get paid but it's a start and even on the first day I realised I was going to love every moment of being there because people understand me. They're not going to question me when I feel down or even judge me when I'm feeling so depressed I want to crawl to the nearest hiding place and never be seen again. But like I said, that was a fleeting moment.
Today I woke up to a very serious looking letter with my name on and the envelope was light brown. The colour is significant because it means the Job Centre have decided to do their best to make my life a misery again. At first I thought it was a reply to the complaint I'd made about my job advisor, but do you know what it contained? It was three sheets of paper informing me I was no longer going to receive money because I'd refused to apply for a certain job. There is a set of numbers beside the rambling letters from the typist but I don't know what job title it's eluding too and of course the Job Centre has to be closed today! I don't know what to do or even how to fight the decision because they don't care about a young woman, who has little confidence, tries her best and was actually happy on Thursday. Why would they care? I'm only one person and when I try to take them on it overwhelms me. Sometimes I think they like it that way. They like people to be overwhelmed or to just say, "I can't be bothered with this. I'll let them win instead." But if I don't stand up for my rights, what happens when somebody else who suffers from depression or some other kind of mental health condition visits my local Job Centre?
It makes me realise when my mood has slumped and I feel so utterly lost, I'm easily trampled over and the Job Centre have become masters at this. Even my Job Advisor can peck away at me and I'll dissolve into tears. I sometimes wonder if it gives her pleasure to push until my life begins to sail away from me and my depression rears its ugly head. She will sit there and ask why I'm late, I'll explain the buses aren't running on time and she'll shoot me down before I've even finished my explanation. "That's a story," She'll say. "The buses are always running on time." I'm left sitting there and thinking I'm telling the truth, so why am I being treated like something she's stepped in? But when she strolls in late from lunch and I've been sitting there waiting for over fifteen minutes that seems to be okay.
What I really want is to be treated with respect. Just because I'm depressed and may snap or cry sometimes, it doesn't mean I'm any different to you, or anybody else. I'm certainly not treated with any such respect at the Job Centre and I guess that will never change. When I'm there they talk to me like I'm a liar, because every time I say something I receive a look and an answer of, "Yeah, yeah". Then there's a roll of the eyes and the woman types furiously on her keyboard. Now I'm starting to wish I knew what she was typing on my details because she could be putting anything. Especially when I know I'm telling the truth and she's there on the opposite side of the desk arguing with me and labelling me as a liar.
Since November my moods have been flying all over the place. I had about four to five days where I was on top of the world, swiftly followed by the most soul crushing depression and then I felt extremely hyperactive again. There's been almost three solid months where I've been forgetful, not myself and I can't even start to begin to understand what's happening to me. Then I visit the Job Centre where I'm treated like I'm worth nothing, I'm a liar and I'm a benefit cheat. That is how I feel right at this moment. When I sit in front of my Job Advisor and I know I've been searching for jobs and I can't remember where, that isn't an act, because I truly can't remember the dates or times or even names of the places. There was even an entire week where I felt hyper, high and depressed all at the same time and I was still trying to search for a job. If you think that was easy, I'll tell you right now, it bloody wasn't. I was falling apart and I was trying to cling onto some kind of semblance when part of me knew it was an impossible task because when your mind is falling apart, job searching when you truly believe you're worthless is not going to cure the problem, but only make it much worse.
I seem to try but ultimately I always fail and I'm not ashamed to admit I'm in floods of tears right now. If there's something I truly, truly despise it's failing and I'm always and forever falling into that trap. I'm a failure, I can't find a job and even when I secure the best volunteer job in the world, the happiness is torn away from me.
So thank you Peterborough Job Centre. You've made me feel like a benefit cheating, waste of space that pretends she looks for work while she also puts on a show and says she has a mental illness.
- Raindrops


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The CRS has been developed to be used on 'touchscreen' computers directly at the scene of the accident and has a very easy user interface with big buttons. It can also be used on normal desktop or notebook computers that meet the system requirements.
The Crash Recovery System is available for all common operating systems including Windows, Android en iOS. This way the Crash Recovery System is multiplatform and can be adjusted to the wishes of the customer.
The different editions of the Crash Recovery system are available for each software platform. Specifications are the same for each platform.
The CRS software is developed to take full advantage of the different platforms. For example on Android tablets and iPads, turning the device will rotate the information displayed on the screen. In addition it is possible to zoom into the high-resolution vehicle graphics if necessary.
System requirements
Microsoft Windows
|Pentium III 800 MHz
|Hard disk:
|40 GB (Installation requires 6 GB)
|Operating system:
|Windows 2000 (32-bit), Windows XP Professional (32/64-bit), Windows Vista (32/64-bit), Windows 7 (32/64-bit) or Windows 8 (native mode; 32/64-bit)
|iPad 1, 2 en 3
|iOS 5 or later
|Android compatible tablet
|4.0 or later
To view the various CRS options, view this page.
To see the system in action, obtain additional information or purchase the Crash Recovery System, go here


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A night of history at New York City Ballet with George Balanchine's Apollo, Jerome Robbins' Moves: A Ballet in Silence, and George Balanchine's Symphony in C.
I must admit that I am only up to the Russian/Parisian diaspora in Jennifer Homans' Apollo's Angels: A History of Ballet so I have not yet gotten to the George Balanchine part. That said, I knew that given the opportunity, I needed to see Apollo.
The ballet was created in 1928 by Balanchine for Sergei Diaghilev's Ballets Russes with music by Igor Stravinsky. Sebastien Marcovici played the part of Apollo, with the muses Terpischore (Sterling Hyltin), Polyhymnia (Tiler Peck), and Calliope (Ana Sophia Scheller) who dance for his attention. Although this ballet is from 1928 it still felt very relevant in its choreography with its abstract shapes depicting the planets circling the sun and emulating the triangular form familiar to Apollo.
Merce Cunningham meets Debbie Allen in Jerome Robbins' Moves, 1959. Although my friends seem to disagree with me, I felt this piece was extremely dated (with an NYCB premiere of 1984) even though it was the most modern piece of the evening. With the A Chorus Line costumes, silence (meaning no music), askew spacing and somewhat chance choreography, the piece felt like the "uptown" version of post-modern dance. With the attention really focused on the "moves" I felt unmoved except for the part when the ballerina lies on her stomach and arches her back almost perpendicularly to the floor. Brava.
Balachine's Symphony in C, 1947 with music by Georges Bizet and sparkles by Swarovski. Whoah. Ballet Master in Chief, Peter Martins calls it the most challenging ballet for the company and I couldn't agree more. The speed, precision, athleticism, and volume of the piece is incredible. The innumerous turns, jumps, arabesques, and holds executed at a ridiculous pace is jaw-dropping. I sat in amazement as I watched the ballerinas – from the impeccable principals to the precise corps – keep up the pace in all their glittery splendor.
All in all, I had a lovely evening at the ballet and cannot wait till I finish Apollo's Angels…


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Our RYA Day Skipper Practical Non-Tidal course teaches you to safely skipper a small yacht in familiar waters by day. Once you pass the course, you will want to spread your wings and skipper a yacht yourself.
There's a lot to be said for having your first bareboat charter holiday on the same type of yacht and in the same sailing area in which you learned to sail. The layout of the boat will be familiar to you, you already know the area a little, and you may have some favourite ports or tavernas that you would like to revisit.
For this reason we have teamed up with Athenian Yachting, the Jeanneau dealer for Greece to offer Sun Odyssey yachts for bareboat charter to our clients for 2011.
We have used Athenian boats numerous times ourselves when we needed an additional training yacht and have always found them to be kept in very good condition. Their handover procedure is also excellent – you'll be shown exactly where everything is and how it works. We recommend them as a charter company to our clients who want good boats with a quality service.
Athenian yachts are available from several bases in Greece. If you charter from their main centre at Kalamaki Marina, just outside Athens, you can book one of our instructors to meet you and do a one-day refresher on your first day to ensure that you feel confident about taking the yacht yourself. It's also possible to arrange to sail to the same ports as the school yachts for a day or two. It can be reassuring to know there will be someone to take your ropes at the end of the day.
Those who want a two-week sailing holiday, including Day Skipper tuition, can also use one of these yachts and we will provide an RYA instructor on board for the first 5 – 7 days as required. Contact me for more information.
2011 Charter Prices
The table below includes prices for 15 different Sun Odyssey yachts. I've picked those that I think will be of most interest to our clients. Larger boats and catamarans are available on request. (I suggest that you are not too ambitions for your first couple of bareboat charters, especially if it is a year since you have done any sailing!)
Prices depend upon size and age of yacht, as well as the time of year that you want to sail. Discounts are applied to 2 week charters.
Crew Club Discount
Members of our Crew Club (those who have taken a course with us) are entitled to a 5% discount.
About Jeanneau Sun Odyssey Yachts
Jeanneau Sun Odyssey yachts are known for sailing very nicely. They have won many awards and all mention great sailing ability. We think that Jeanneau strikes the best compromise between cost and quality of any production boat. Their yachts' construction, design and finish are better than many other makes of boat of a similar price, and the equipment you will find fitted is far superior to that on cheaper makes.
How to Find out More About a Particular Yacht
Full information on equipment, layout, and photographs of these yachts are available – just send an email and we will forward you a link.
What's Included / Not Included
One of the things we like about Athenian yachts is that they give 'all-inclusive' prices. You won't find you are charged an extra daily rate for equipment that really should be supplied as standard with every charter yacht.
Prices include: VAT, Bed linen, towels, quilts (one set per cabin per week), autopilot, dinghy with outboard engine,
Not included: Fuel and water, provisions, end cleaning (25€ per cabin payable in cash)
How Many People Should You Take?
The maximum number of people shown above is the total that the yacht's insurance will cover. You cannot exceed this but most people will be more comfortable with fewer on board, especially in hot weather.
Ideally everyone should be accommodated in a cabin although young groups or big families will find it more economical if some sleep in the saloon.
When Will the Charter Start and End?
Your charter will start at 5pm on Saturday and finish by 9am on the following Saturday. You must return the yacht to its base the previous night.
If you have more questions or want to enquire about availability on particular dates please contact Melody


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It's a sad, but unavoidable truth: Some people are just jerks.
I'm not talking about jerks who don't use their turn signal or fail to scoop up their dog's poop. I'm talking about the jerk-level behavior that quite literally leaves most people speechless. You know, like stealing a specially made adaptive tricycle belonging to a 12-year-old girl with special needs. Because yes — that really happened.
Charlotte Luther of Antioch, California had surgery to remove a brain tumor over a year ago and has experienced limited mobility as a result.
But even before the brain tumor, Charlotte's mom Cate says "she wasn't really stable." Charlotte had issues with right-side balance prior to the brain tumor diagnosis and her autism caused her to have some trouble balancing on a regular bike.
"This was the first bike she's ever had where she could actually ride it," Cate adds. "She had this smile on her face, a sense of independence. She was just loving it."
The special bike is also worth a pretty penny: It costs about $4,000. Charlotte's family actually raised the money to buy it through a fundraising page with the Great Bike Giveaway, a national campaign that raises money for adaptive bikes for kids with special needs. Family and friends contributed to the fundraiser which enabled Charlotte to get this special bike, which comes with a back rest, a steering assist bar, and a pedal pulley system. The design makes it possible for Charlotte to maneuver the bike all on her own.
But last week, both Charlotte's special bike and a regular bike belonging to her mom were stolen from their home while Charlotte was at the hospital. The family called the police and filed a report, but Cate tells Babble she didn't hold out much hope that Charlotte's bike would be found. In fact, she feared it had already been sold.
Little did she know though that the police officer who took the report had made it his personal mission to find Charlotte's bike, no matter what.
Officer Dan Fachner of the Antioch Police Department scoured the surrounding area looking for the bike, even driving to the shopping centers near the Luther's home to ask people if they'd seen it. Many of the people Officer Fachner spoke to reported having seen Charlotte riding the bike in the past, and that she "always seemed happy" when she was on it.
Finally, Officer Fachner's commitment paid off when a woman reported seeing someone riding the bike in a nearby neighborhood. Sure enough, a 24-year-old man was cruising around on Charlotte Luther's adaptive tricycle like he owned it, which we all know he did not.
The man's initial response of "I just found it" didn't fly with Officer Fachner — he called for backup, arranged for the thief to be transported to the local police station, and had the special bike transported back to its rightful owner.
I can't say enough how glad I am that this story had a happy ending for Charlotte. No kid deserves to have their bike ripped off, and I think everyone can agree this is more than just a bike to Charlotte. That bike means freedom; it means she has the ability to maneuver in a way that otherwise, she'd be unable to do.
But as pleased that I am that this family didn't have to go through the hassle of raising funds for another adaptive tricycle, my reaction as a human — and as the parent of a special-needs child who uses prosthetic equipment — is simply this: "What kind of person does this?"
Sure, maybe the thief didn't understand what the bike was and had no clue there was a special story behind it. But I'm not sure that lack of information gives him a pass either way.
Cate Luther calls the return of her daughter's bike a "miracle" and expresses awe and gratitude that so many people shared the original Facebook post asking for its safe return.
The moral of this story? To me, it's this: There will always be bad guys in this world; but thankfully, there will also always be good guys — just like Officer Fachner, who was determined to find a little girl's precious bike.
According to her mom, Charlotte herself is fond of the quote "Forgiveness is the only cure for revenge." In many ways, I suppose we could probably all stand to borrow a page from Charlotte's book.


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|Panla World Cup Fever
|Thu, Jun 12 2014 - Sun, Jul 13 2014 @ 12:00 PM - 8:00 PM
|Suite 36
New York New York 10018
United States
646 643 6261
|Event details
Host all your World cup events with friends at Suite 36.
Hello friends the FIFA world cup is around the corner. Where are you watching the games?
Join Panla at Suite 36 and come cheer your favorite Soccer teams - Super Eagles of Nigeria, Indomitable Lions of Cameroon, Black stars of Ghana, the elephants from Cote D'Ivoire, The desert warriors of Algeria and much more.
Enjoy your favorite African dishes while you watch the games.
Win or lose come support your teams and keep the flag flying.
#Panla #FIFA #Worldcup #PanlaWorldCup
Past Panla event at Suite 36 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dH6mgFqaio&app=desktop
Suite 36 - 16 West 36th Street by 5th and 6th ave
The games start Thursday June 12
See Group Stage Schedule below
Brazil 4pm Croatia
Friday June 13
Cameroon 12pm Mexico
Spain 3pm Netherlands
Chile 5pm Australia
Saturday June 14
Colombia 12pm Greece
Uruguay 3pm Costa Rica
England 5pm Italy
Ivory Coast 9pm Japan
Sunday June 15
Switzerland 12pm Ecuador
France 3pm Honduras
Argentina 6pm Bosnia and H
Monday June 16
Germany 12pm Portugal
Nigeria 3pm Iran
Ghana 6pm USA
Tuesday June 17
Algeria 12pm Belgium
Brazil 3pm Mexico
Russia 5pm Korea Republic
Wednesday June 18
Australia 12pm Netherlands
Spain 3pm Chile
Cameroon 5pm Croatia
Thursday June 19
Ivory Coast 12pm Colombia
Uruguay 3pm England
Japan 6pm Greece
Friday June 20
Italy 12pm Costa Rica
Switzerland 3pm France
Honduras 6pm Ecuador
Saturday June 21
Argentina 12pm Iran
Ghana 3pm Germany
Nigeria 6pm Bosnia H
Sunday June 22
Belgium 12pm Russia
Korea 3pm Algeria
USA 5pm Portugal
Monday June 23
Netherlands 12pm Chile
Australia 12pm Spain
Cameroon 4pm Brazil
Croatia 4pm Mexico
Tuesday June 24
Italy 12pm Uruguay
Costa Rica 12pm England
Japan 3pm Colombia
Ivory Coast 4pm Greece
Wednesday June 25
Nigeria 12pm Argentina
Bosnia H 12pm Iran
Honduras 3pm Switzerland
Ecuador 4pm France
Thursday June 26
Ghana 12pm Portugal
USA 12pm Germany
Korea 4pm Belgium
Algeria 4pm Russia
#Panla #FIFA #Worldcup #PanlaWorldCup
|Connect with friends and make new friends!
Play the connect game!
Networking made easy and fun!
Meet people easily at this event by playing the Connect Game.
How it works!
That's it! You are guaranteed to have the best time!
|Event Raffles - Enter FREE, win BIG!!


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Parents Rooms
Our Parents Rooms cater to children of all ages and needs when it comes to life's little necessities. Each Parents Room offers ease of use and access to all changing and feeding amenities within a beautifully designed environment.
All Parents Rooms include a full sized and child sized toilet, microwave, change tables, comfortable breastfeeding areas, highchair and cold and boiling water.
Find the Parents Rooms on our directory and map. Simply type 'Parents' into the search bar.
Parents Rooms are located at:
- Level 1
- North (Coles end)
- Central Mall (near ANZ)
- Level 2
- The Arcade
- Central Mall (near Laurent)
- Food Court
- Level 3
- East (near Hoyts)
- Town Square


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Dawson has various frequently used forms available online. This forms can be complete in Acrobat Reader and either printed and given to the people needing them, or, if you have Adobe Acrobat (the complete program and not just the reader), emailed to the recipient.
Finance Forms
Instructions for the Cheque Request Form: The complete "how to" guide for cheque requests.
Human Resources
Hiring Forms
Requisition and Hiring Form (Cont. Ed.)
This form needs to be completed to start the posting and hiring process for Continuing Education positions.<
Payroll Forms
Staff Timesheet (Overtime and Hourly Paid Timesheet)
This form must be completed and signed by both the manager and the employee and forwarded to the Department of Administrative Services, before the payroll deadline. A hiring requisition must either accompany it or have been submitted previously.
Student Timesheet
This form must be completed and signed by both the manager and the student employee and forwarded to the Department of Administrative Services, before the payroll deadline. A hiring requisition must either accompany it or have been submitted previously for work done in that semester.
TD1 - Personal Tax Credit Return (Revenue Canada) & TP-1015.3V – Source Deductions Return (Revenu Quebec)
These forms are used to determine the amount of tax to be deducted from an individual's employment income.
Examples of who should be completing these forms - individuals who:
- have a new employer;
- want to change amounts previously claimed;
- want to increase the amount of tax deducted at source;
Absence Reporting
Employee Personal Information Changes
Professional Development
For more information, visit the Professional Development page.
Medical and Dental Claim Forms
For more information, visit the Employee Insurance and Benefits page.
Leave of Absence
IST Forms
Device Request Form
Please use this form to request computer equipment such as laptops, workstations, printers and screens.
Objective Test Scoring Service - User Guide
This document outlines the procedure to be followed for submitting Opscan Exams for scanning.
Plant and Facilities
Online Requests
- P&F Work Services needs to be filled out for all service requests, including set ups (exceptions: key requests and code changes). how-to
- Printshop Report is searchable by budget code and can be downloaded as a pdf or csv file.
- Printshop Web Submission allows to send PDF documents directly to the Printshop. The request is processed in 24 hours. (NOTE: faculty will find it under My Dawson Life | Submit printshop job)
Forms & Documents
Voicemail Instructions Document is about how to setup and access your Dawson voicemail.


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- Academy »
- Stats »
- Club Friendlies World »
Jahn Regensburg vs Carl Zeiss Jena
Regensburg VS Jena
Regensburg vs Jena
Regensburg vs Jena
PreviewNOTE: Statistical values limited to the matches in our database.
Statistic analysis:
Jahn Regensburg and Carl Zeiss Jena face , in a friendly match. This is the 7th friendly match of the year for Jahn Regensburg, after friendly matches against Schalding‑Heining, Neumarkt, Wacker Innsbruck, Würzburger Kickers, Sonnenhof Großaspach and Liefering. As for Carl Zeiss Jena, this is the 6th friendly match of the year, after previous friendly matches against Ústí nad Labem, Nürnberg II, Erzgebirge Aue, Germania Halberstadt and Oberlausitz Neugersdorf. There are only 2 recent head‑to‑heads between these two teams: on 06‑01‑2018, which ended in a (2‑3) win by Jahn Regensburg, and another on 16‑01‑2016, which ended in a (2‑0) win by Carl Zeiss Jena.
Analysis of Jahn Regensburg
The home team plays its 7th friendly match of the year. In the previous friendly matches they registered the following final scores: Schalding‑Heining (0‑1) Jahn Regensburg, Neumarkt (0‑8) Jahn Regensburg, Wacker Innsbruck (3‑1) Jahn Regensburg, Würzburger Kickers (1‑0) Jahn Regensburg, Sonnenhof Großaspach (0‑1) Jahn Regensburg and Jahn Regensburg (10‑1) Liefering. Jahn Regensburg has won 5, tied 2 and lost 3 of the last 10 home matches. Their offense has scored frequently, since they have scored goals in 5 of the last 6 matches for this competition. In the last 10 home matches for all competitions there is 1 period that stands out: they have scored 4 of their 11 goals between minutes (46'‑60').
Analysis of Carl Zeiss Jena
The away team plays its 6th friendly match of the year. In the previous friendly matches they registered the following final scores: Carl Zeiss Jena (0‑0) Ústí nad Labem, Carl Zeiss Jena (2‑2) Nürnberg II, Carl Zeiss Jena (2‑4) Erzgebirge Aue, Carl Zeiss Jena (3‑0) Germania Halberstadt and Carl Zeiss Jena (4‑0) Oberlausitz Neugersdorf. In the last 10 away matches Carl Zeiss Jena has won 4, tied 3 and lost 3. Their offense has scored consistently, as they have scored goals in 4 of the last 5 matches for this competition.
No tips were made for this match in the competitions available at the Betting Academy UK.
Make tips and gain automatic admission to our monthly contests:
Club Friendlies - 2019
5999 / 6562 Games
- Home team wins 43.96%
- Draws 20.39%
- Away team wins 35.66%
- Over 1.5 80.25%
- Over 2.5 60.13%
- Over 3.5 39.82%
- Goals 19653
- Goals /match 3.28
- Goals /match home 1.73
- Goals /match away 1.54
- Both teams score 53.93%
- Goals after 80' 0.49%
Football Competitions
|National Club Competitions
|International Club Competitions
|National Teams
No tv schedule yet for US (change)


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At the cutting edge of innovation, the development team at Siemens have spent the last 160 years growing and expanding their range to supply appliances that are of the highest quality, whilst incorporating the latest advancements in technology. Masters of engineering, they uniquely blend style and efficiency that allows for their appliances to seamlessly integrate into the style of your kitchen as well as the routine of your home.
At London Kitchen Store we are proud to partner with this iconic brand, offering their latest innovations alongside our commitment to customer service. Having built a sustainable relationship with this partner, we will make sure your appliance is the right width, height and fit for your kitchen. Not only that, but as Siemens have invested so heavily in energy saving technology, they may well be able to save money for London Kitchen Store clients on their energy bill.


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Featured Projects
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By bretpetersen
On 03, Jun 2014 | No Comments | In animation design | By bretpetersen
Nike Morgan III
Nike came at us with another customizable shoe campaign. The Nike Morgan III, custom impact protection. The animation here shows the shoe in a number of it's customizable skins. I was involved in the animation for this ad.
Submit a Comment


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Have you decided yet? Have you determined once and for all that you are going to do something BIG for your self and your family?
My mentor always says, "what you do for yourself makes you successful but what you do for others makes you significant!" Are you still working at the same job hoping things turn around for you someday? Still hoping business picks up again like it once was years ago? Still on the JOB boards and newspapers looking for that next new exciting company that will finally pay you want you are worth? Or maybe you'll even settle for just a little more money than you're making now.
When will enough be enough for you?
I want to introduce you to someone I met recently…
His name Is Robert Burrows. Robert lives in Michigan and found an ad my Partner Yolanda Williams-Davis had on the Michigan Talent Bank.
Robert is a social worker with the juvenile disciplinary system. In other words, he works in the non-profit sector and his income was also non-profit.
He was telling me during our interview he believes many many people in Michigan are starving for an opportunity to get more control over their income and therefore their lives.
I was shocked to hear that the unemployment in the state of Michigan is almost 25% higher than the national average!
What is it like in your area?
What does the housing market look like in your city?
Just last week I met Christian, a young guy from Arizona who was also a newly-wed that was also expecting his first child in about 6 months.
Both Christian and his wife home owners and were calling the bank that same day to notify the mortgage department that they both want to voluntarily give up their houses…
The he shared with me his house was already rented out but he could not charge enough to cover the entire mortgage. He could refinance because the appraised value had decreased by $60k within the last year.
Can you tell that people need to make some adjustments in their income and in their lives?
Where are you in your life?
More importantly, what are you doing to maintain much less advance you quality of life and those around you?
There are tons of people looking you and your leadership. Actively seeking and starting businesses that can help them become recession proof.
Approximately 79 million people will start their own business in the next few years. All will need to master the skills that you can learn now and position yourself to teach to others.
Right now you have a chance to put your self in position to be the one who helps them set up a marketing system that will bring them more customers and therefore more money and when that happens, you profit too.
You can first take back control over your own life by becoming a real business developer marketing everything from simple necessities, like a cell phone and Internet service, breakthrough technology like video phones, info products on how to swap car engines, baking or any field you are passionate about using proven marketing systems.
You can, in turn ,create the lifestyle of your dreams by helping people get more of what they want out of life.


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Curriculum Philosophy
Biblical Worldview
Children are born in the image of God – creative and active participants in their learning about the world. A Biblical Worldview builds the foundation of how children develop a relationship with God, with themselves as image bearers, with others and with their world. At the heart of all we teach is a recognition that every student is a beloved child of God, and has a place and a purpose in this world; we at NIS have the privilege and responsibility to help them grow. We welcome children of all faiths, and students are encouraged to understand and respect each others' uniqueness.
Developmentally Appropriate and Integrated
Children grow and develop. As they do, the way in which they understand the world develops. It is important to cover a wide range of skills, knowledge and understanding in developmentally progressive, age-appropriate ways to enhance learning. Likewise, deep learning occurs when children can build on their existing knowledge and make connections with new and different types of learning. Our focus on themes, BWI overlay and integrated subject learning all help to facilitate a rich learning experience.
Internationally and Community Minded
At NIS we see delivering an international education and promoting global perspectives as essential. The education our students receive will give them the tools they need to respond to the challenges and opportunities a changing world presents, and develop character that will enable them to handle life with maturity and wisdom. We equip our students to be aware of, and respond to, the needs of others; learning to understand, appreciate and respect people belonging to many social, cultural, religious and national groups different from their own is an important element of their learning at NIS. We are dedicated to raising a generation of global citizens, who care for the world and its people as Christ did.


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Get Dry Eye Relief
Chronic dry eye isn't just a nuisance—it's a chronic medical condition. Here's how to get help.
Do your eyes feel so dry they sometimes sting? Does the light from your bedside lamp seem too harsh? Resting your eyes or dimming the light may seem like solutions, but those measures usually aren't effective for people with chronic dry eye (CDE), a disease affecting 12 million Americans. Here's what you need to know about CDE—and how to find relief!
What is CDE?
Everyone needs a healthy tear film, which lubricates the front of the eyes. Normally, your eyes release tears that provide this soothing film, which washes away dust when you blink, protects you from infection and promotes clear, comfortable vision. But if you have chronic dry eye, the tear-making process breaks down: You either do not produce enough tears or the tears you produce evaporate too quickly. Unchecked, the condition can lead to increased eye infection and inflammation, scratching and scarring on the cornea (the surface of the eye) and vision problems.
Am I at risk?
You could be, if you:
- are a woman (especially if you've hit menopause) or a man over age 50
- have had inflammation-related tear gland damage
- have undergone radiation therapy aimed at the eyes
- have had laser eye surgery (such as LASIK)
- take certain medications that cause dry eyes (such as antidepressants and diuretics)
- have certain medical conditions, such as glaucoma, diabetes, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and Sjögren's syndrome
How do I know if I have it?
If you notice symptoms like a sandy feeling in the eye or constant eyestrain, schedule an eye exam right away. "Studies show that if the surface of the eye gets dry, even temporarily, cells produce more inflammatory factors—which then make you more sensitive to the drying effects of wind or indoor air blowing over your eyes," says Stephen C. Pflugfelder, MD, of the Cullen Eye Institute at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. Tell the doctor what your eyes feel like and how the dryness is interfering with daily life (see the box for a full list of symptoms). A prompt diagnosis is the key to relieving your discomfort and preventing eye damage.
How do I get relief?
Fortunately, you don't have to live with the stinging, dryness and eyestrain of CDE. Artificial teardrops or ointments, available over-the-counter, can offer temporary relief. Prescription drops can actually foster the eyes' natural ability to produce tears. Another treatment requires your doctor to insert tiny silicone or gel plugs into your tear ducts to hold natural tears in your eyes longer. Finding the best option for you can really make a difference!
Know the signs of dry eye
- Stinging or burning
- Scratchy feeling, like there's sand in your eyes
- Strong sensitivity to light or smoke
- Eye discharge
- Difficulty forming tears when you cry
- Trouble wearing contact lenses
- Eyestrain after reading or using the computer
- Blurry vision that intensifies at day's end


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Posts from — March 2017
Is .eco for me?
.eco – the new domain extension for those committed to positive change for the planet – is nearing the end of the 60-day sunrise period. Over the past few months, .eco has met with corporate registrars, including Safenames, to review the value of the .eco extension and its applicability to corporations.
One of the questions we have been asked is "Is .eco for global corporations?" The answer is a resounding yes.
The .eco community is made up of millions of businesses, organizations and people who are committed to positive change for the planet. In recent years, Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) has taken on an increasing role within corporations' overall strategic goals and missions. Global brands including Unilever, Michelin, Samsung, Ikea and Johnson & Johnson, to name a few, are leading the way in the world of CSR.
In a recent Forbes article, Reputation Institute managing partner Fernando Prado said "Companies are not communicating what they do, their good deeds. A lot of times we see that companies have a lot of people who do not know a lot about what they're actually doing … If they are able to communicate, they can build their reputations and reputations build business."
Helping companies and organizations tell their sustainability story is one of the driving forces behind the creation of .eco. According to Trevor Bowden, co-founder of .eco, "We know that people care about the environment and want to make better choices. This has been shown in study after study. What we saw was a need for a way for people to better understand what companies, products and services matched their own values. So we created .eco, the only environmentally-focused domain backed by the community."
To increase trust and transparency, in addition to a .eco domain, companies will be able to complete their .eco profile and use the .eco trustmark. These free services will help them communicate their sustainability story to their investors, employees and more importantly, their customers.
According to a recent study from Unilever, getting that communication right could have a real impact on the bottom line. Their study of 20,000 adults found that "more than one in five people would actively choose brands if they made their sustainability credentials clearer on their packaging and in their marketing", representing "a potential untapped opportunity of €966 billion out of a €2.5 trillion total market for sustainable goods."
In the words of Keith Weed, Unilever's Chief Marketing and Communications Officer, "[companies] must act quickly to prove their social and environmental credentials and show consumers they can be trusted with the future of the planet and communities, as well as their own bottom lines."
.eco is an ideal extension for any corporation that wants to:
- showcase specific commitments to the environment, or launch an awareness campaign about the good work they do;
- highlight in-house sustainability initiatives, such as recycling and ridesharing programs, being paper-free, or operating a green data centre;
- promote their eco-friendly products and services, such as certified organic food, home cleaning products or consumer goods.
As the .eco sunrise period comes to a close on April 2, 2017, the question for corporations isn't "Is .eco for me?". The right question is "How can we stand out from the crowd to better communicate our CSR?" The answer is .eco.
Michael Ward
VP, Business Development
Big Room (.eco Registry)
March 31, 2017 No Comments
WIPO Domain Name Decision D2017-0082 for boehringer-ingelheim.vip
March 31, 2017 No Comments
WIPO Domain Name Decision D2017-0219 for regenreron.com
March 31, 2017 No Comments
WIPO Domain Name Decision D2017-0114 for michelinnorthamerica.com
March 31, 2017 No Comments
WIPO Domain Name Decision D2017-0145 for cic-bank.info, cic-bank.online
March 31, 2017 No Comments
Proposed Fundamentals Bylaws Changes to Move the Board Governance Committee's Reconsideration Process Responsibilities to Another Board Committee
|Open Date:
|31 March 2017
|Close Date:
|10 May 2017
|Originating Organization:
|Accountability/Transparency, Bylaws
|Brief Overview:
|ICANN is posting for public comment proposed Fundamental Bylaws revisions that would move the Board Governance Committee's (BGC) responsibilities for the Reconsideration process as set forth under Article 4, Section 4.2 of the Bylaws to the Board Accountability Mechanisms Committee (BAMC). No other changes to the Reconsideration process are proposed or anticipated as a result of these Bylaws modifications.
March 31, 2017 No Comments
WIPO Domain Name Decision D2017-0156 for bmdecoder.com, bmwdecoder.com
March 30, 2017 No Comments
WIPO Domain Name Decision D2017-0054 for asosshopit.com, poloasos.com
March 30, 2017 No Comments
WIPO Domain Name Decision DNL2017-0008 for coccinelleamsterdam.nl
March 30, 2017 No Comments
WIPO Domain Name Decision D2017-0197 for aeg.company
March 30, 2017 No Comments


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If You Love Sleep, You'll LOVE This Instagram.
The new year is here, bringing us once again to the very important topic of self-improvement. If there's anything I've learned about resolutions -- from weight loss to relationships -- it's about making changes that you can maintain. While it is important to push yourself to do your absolute best, it is even more important to make changes that you can continue on a daily basis. Otherwise, you will burn out too quickly.
With that in mind, another thing we should all consider adding onto our lists is "get more sleep." I have been told by athletes, teachers, writers, and a comedian that more sleep will do wonders. First, you should do some research. The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) recommends the following:
- Newborns (0-3 months): Sleep range narrowed to 14-17 hours each day
- Infants (4-11 months): Sleep range widened two hours to 12-15 hours
- Toddlers (1-2 years): Sleep range widened by one hour to 11-14 hours
- Preschoolers (3-5): Sleep range widened by one hour to 10-13 hours
- School age children (6-13): Sleep range widened by one hour to 9-11 hours
- Teenagers (14-17): Sleep range widened by one hour to 8-10 hours
- Younger adults (18-25): Sleep range is 7-9 hours
- Adults (26-64): Sleep range is 7-9 hours
- Older adults (65+): Sleep range is 7-8 hours
The next thing you should do is consider your bed a place of rest and good health -- as important as eating and working -- instead of one you fall into at the tail end of your day. You can also invest in new sheets or purchase a new bed altogether. Personally, washing my sheets does the trick. All You recommends washing your sheets once a week! You can't sleep your way to good health in dirty sheets.
For further inspiration, take a look at these dreamy photographs posted by the popular Instagram (@alwayssssleep) and Tumblr (@sssleeping). This account is white sheet heaven.
More sleep in a cleaner, comfier bed every night? You can maintain that.
Get more sssleep on Instagram and Tumblr.
Sources: All You, alwayssssleep, designtaxi


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Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Today is Love The White Stripes day
Funny that the song accompanying the video below could have been about the Jack and Meg union, well, considering we actually knew more about it than we do. Maybe Meg didn't know what love was, so Jack split? And, if not, she still follows him around like a puppy dog ... one that consistently does what she's told. Anyway, it's one of my favorite songs on the new album. Strong tune, great geetar and so stupidly easy to love.
One final thought on Meg: We were discussing Salem and witches and witch burning last night in class, so this is where this comes from, but ... how many times do you think Meg went as a witch on Halloween? How many times does she still? If she refused to dress up and nevertheless went out in public on Oct. 31st, she'd still beat out a barrage of witches in a costume contest without so much as trying. It's a good thing she didn't exist in Salem in 1692.
Last final thought? Go read Margaret Atwood's Half-Hanged Mary. It's amazing.
6 comments:
- Melanie said...
I can't wait to see them in concert!
- 7/31/2007
- Cindy said...
I would really like to see the White Stripes in concert.
You were my friend, you too.
I cured your baby, Mrs.,
and flushed yours out of you,
Non-wife, to save your life.
I had a visual of myself as one of those friends. Afraid, guilty and glad it's not me.
- 7/31/2007
- Sherpa said...
Erase all thoughts of Ryan, and prepare yourself for Jack and Meg. When I saw them on Saturday, they were even better than '05. The audience was even more milktoast than '05. No goth country kids in sight this time. :(
Yeah, this is one of my favorite songs on the new album too, right up there with Little Cream Soda.
I think of Meg as a good
- 8/01/2007
- Dainon said...
Yes, go on. A good ...?
- 8/01/2007
- Sherpa said...
a "good goth," is what I meant to say I think.
Oh, I came back to say that "You Don't Know What Love Is" was on their set Saturday night...Besides, although Jack has had gotten into a few fights in his time...he's definitely a different type of performer than Ryan A.
- 8/01/2007
- Dainon said...
Jack does have a certain knack for playing to the crowd. It's all in that coy smile of his, isn't it? Yeah, this one will be good.
- 8/01/2007


text: We carry Paplin brand quilling papers. The products below are all gorgeous assortments that will give you a variety of colors to work with. We stock them in 8 widths and in very large quantities. We offer paper widths from 1/16" all the way up to 1" on each product page. The papers are all very high quality, acid-free and precision cut.