Perfect sunshine. Perfect breeze. Perfect everything. Sandra paused, took a look around, and nodded with satisfaction seeing that everything was in order for the wedding of the year. Ashley, the giddy and dreamy bride, was stunning and exuberant. Sandra gave her a thumbs up and flashed a grin. The wedding planner’s smile wavered a bit, however, when she noticed how a sour look was starting to take over the face of Ashley’s maid of honor. Oh no. Please let her be delightful, even for just this hour, Sandra released in prayer. Please let her be delightful. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw that the girl, Laura, had shaken herself and had ceased from fully transforming into a detestable maid of horror.
Alright, no more hang ups, please. Sandra thought to herself. This wedding has to be absolutely perfect. The planner gave the green and rose red ethereal scene around her one final look over. She glanced at her watch. It was time.
Sandra held her breath as the entourage marched gracefully down the aisle. Okay. Step-together, people, step-together. That’s it. Okay, Laura comes in and then hold… She paused to make sure that Ashley was ready. Seeing that she was, Sandra gave the officiating pastor a thumbs up sign. He nodded at her and took hold of the microphone.
The crowd burst into applause, as a radiant Ashley made her way down the aisle.
Sandra let out her breath, seeing that everything was going smoothly, just the way they should be. But then, as she caught the wedding photographer steal a glance at her and then quickly look away, she found herself heaving out a deep sigh. Uh-huh. Smoothly and just the way they should be, alright.
She looked at him, looking sleek and irresistible that day in his ironed polo shirt and pressed pants and shook her head. Smoothly and just the way that they should be.
Sandra gave Laura a grateful smile. The wedding was finally over and, truth be told, the wedding planner had never been so exhausted in her life. She was glad that the night was finally coming to a close.
As Sandra made her way out, a familiar figure fell into step beside her.
Silence. Sandra racked her brain and tried to think of something nice or intelligent to say. She couldn’t though, for she was far too aware of David’s presence and was quite unable to formulate a witty or catchy statement. But she knew she didn’t have to. Say something sharp or clever that is. She could just be herself around this guy. She could just say whatever she wanted to, let her guard come down if she had to.
“Well, it’s already Christmas, right?” David said, as they reached the parking lot where his car was parked next to hers.
Sandra looked at David and the playful twinkle in his eyes. Right. So maybe, “so merry Christmas” was all that he had to say to her, for now. She willed herself to smile.
David reached out his hand to shake hers and gave her a wave as he made his way to his car.
It was 2:00 am and Sandra was still lying wide awake in her bed. She was still going over her brief walk to the parking lot with David. So Merry Christmas. See you around. See you around, Sandy. She played those words over and over in her mind, and soon she felt like she was listening to a recording machine of some kind.
If only what? Sandra thought to herself. What Sandra, what is it that you desperately want to happen?
Desperately want to happen? Sandra shook her head. No, she wasn’t desperate or anything of that sort. She was just tired. Tired of keeping her emotions intact. Tired of appearing that she was incapable of feeling. Tired of just holding everything in.
I wish I could just let loose and let it all out.
Oh but Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. A Still Small Voice started to speak to her. Nothing before it’s time dear daughter. Nothing before it’s time.
She turned until she was lying flat on her belly. Oh but when will I know that it’s time? When will it be time???
My dear… trust. Wait. Let Me surprise you. You’re building up too many expectations, planning out too many things. You should just let go and let Me move the way I want to.
But I’m a wedding planner, she argued. That’s what I do. I plan these things out. I plan these fairy tales out and make sure that they become reality.
Ah but dear, this one you must not plan out. This one you must not plan out.
Alright. Sandra let out a deep sigh and lay on her back once again. I won’t. I won’t plan this thing out anymore.
A tear fell to her pillow and she willed herself to sleep.
Christmas morning. Sandra yawned and wiped the dried up tears out of her eyes. It’s a new day, it’s a new day. She told herself. It’s a beautiful morn, it’s a beautiful morn.
She went over her day’s to-do list: go visit Mom, Dad, and the Bros – she’ll do that once she got dressed. Get the pie from Aunty Ellen’s – oops, she’ll have to do that before the family thing. Call up Ashley’s parents re: wedding balances and payments – she’ll do that in the afternoon.
Another note was scrawled at the bottom: send a Christmas message to friends via e-mail or text. She’ll do that now.
She held her mobile phone in her hand and was typing out a message when a familiar number began to flash on screen. Willing her heart to be still, she answered it.
Not knowing, not willing what to expect, Sandra got herself out of her bed and drenched herself in a thoughtful shower.
Surprise me, Lord. Surprise me.
Whether or not that coffee meeting would open up the door for something more, Sandra decided that she’d just let the Lord surprise her.
She would just let the Lord surprise her.