Its a little surreal writing a Father’s Day post instead of posting a photo of my dad and I on my facebook page and thanking him for being the best dad ever.
I have no doubt my dad tried his best and that he gave the three of us the best that he could. We never wanted for anything, never went hungry, never wanted for clothes or money for a decent education. He was always there to support and guide and offer advice and discipline. I know that he was really proud of all of us no matter what direction our life paths took and he always made time for us.
He was the only dad I knew and I loved him immensely.
Now that he is gone I find myself thinking of him often and even though I try and connect with him, he seems so very far away. He will always live in my heart and my memories.
Being a dad is the best experience ever. Having said that I don’t feel like a dad. I see myself as that best friend you always wish you had. Sure, I am here to provide for him, help educate him, protect him and make sure he gets through this thing called life all in one piece. But for me, I really just want to be his best friend.
The friend that will always be there no matter what he has done or what trouble he has gotten himself into and not judge him but try to understand and always help him find a way out. I want to be at every school event, every sports day, every tournament to cheer him on. I want to help him choose his favourite subjects for high school and varsity, not necessarily his strongest but those he enjoys the most. I need him to know that its ok if he wants to travel the world, trying to catch the largest fish or whether he wants to pilot a plane to Singapore, I will miss him when he is away but I will always be here when he gets back.
I want to be there when he falls and scrapes his knees, cries when the daddy dinosaur dies at the end of the movie and smile back at him when he tells me that he hates me and never wants to see me again. Of course, I am going to help him pick out his first tie, or dress, who knows? Puberty is going to be fun and then I really want him to lean on me and ask all those awkward questions without holding back.
Driving him to the club and then waiting for him in the car is going to be amazing. Helping him navigate the world through a hangover or a drug experiment is going to be scary if it happens but at least I can hold him until its over and tell him it’s going to be ok.
For me, dad is spelt f-r-I-e-n-d and I have found that in life true friends are so rare that if Jeremy picks me to be one of his best friends then I would have succeeded as a father.