After the freak show of minions news in the last week, I never thought I'd be writing something good about a minion ever again — but a minion toy saved a little girl's life last night, so I guess I officially have been proven wrong. These little guys might be batting on the villain's team in film, but in real life a plush version of the creature was the hero after breaking a 5-year-old girl's fall from her bedroom window. She clung to the doll as she fell three stories to the ground, and police say that the cushion it provided when she fell might have very well saved her life. The little girl has since been released from the hospital after being treated for a broken arm.
So yeah, these tiny hell spawns might be making our newsfeeds unholy with minions tampons, cussing minions McDonald's toys and even Disney princess minions (IS NOTHING HOLY?!), but before we cast judgment, remember that they were there in the hour of one human's need. Our sanity is a small price to pay for the survival of this little girl, guys. So the next time you want to squish one of their lil yellow heads 'til the ash and dust that is their brains falls out of them, remember this: There is bad and good in all of us. Even minions, it seems.
I did us all the great service of looking up minion-ese, and apparently "Tank yu, tatata balu to" means "Thank you, I love you." So, dear minions: Tank yu, and tatata...OK, I tried. I marginally tolerate you, but I have no idea how to say that in minion, so please accept this internet fist bump and a banana from me.