“Love means never having to say your sorry.” Ah that famous quote from Story that set the tone for all the hopeless romantics in the 1970s. But does that famous quote hold true? Was it true then? More importantly, is it true now?
In my practice, I’ve seen everything in terms of couples and infidelity. Only one detail is a constant: When it comes to cheating, it’s hard to forgive and forget, much less apologize. Sometimes the relationship is solid enough and the infidelity forgivable — and the coupledom prevails. Other times, it’s just a symptom of a crumbling union. So how can you tell?
Have they kept a job for 12 months? Have they stayed off drugs or alcohol for 12 months? Have they stopped seeing their old flame for 12 months? Real change takes commitment. And time.
See if they’re honest, and if their goals match yours. It’s not a bad thing to answer with honesty. If they say, “I want another chance to get to know you and improve our relationship.” that’s a fair response. And if you want commitment, fidelity, a future engagement, or marriage, don’t shy away from asking! You’re giving this person a second chance. Make your expectations clear.