You must know what you’re doing when you make the deal or Satan will cheat you blind. That’s the word from Dr. Rex Touth, expert on satanic rituals and author of How to Negotiate Unholy Contracts.
Dr. Touth cites cases dating all the way back to the 16th century in which humans have agreed to spend eternity in Hell when they die in exchange for earthly pleasures while they’re alive.
“Human history and world literature are teeming with stories like that of Germany’s Dr. Faustus who sold his soul,” says Dr. Touth. “Our own American statesman Daniel Webster once debated Satan in a landmark soul-selling case in which he renegotiated the contract and had it overturned.
SET THE DEAL UP PROPERLY. There’s a right and wrong way to make contact with the Devil. The right way is to be alone in your room, close your eyes and say, “Satan, I summon you. I have a quality soul to sell if the price is right.” It may take dozens, even hundreds of tries but at all costs, avoid sounding desperate or needy. He’ll show up eventually.
DEAL FROM A POSITION OF POWER. By far the biggest mistake people make is to underestimate how badly Satan wants their soul. It’s like precious gold to him and he’ll pay anything to get it. When he appears, get him to make the first offer, then up it.
REMEMBER TO DEMAND THE LIFE-EXTENSION CLAUSE. Satan won’t tell you if you don’t ask but you can get a guarantee of 300 years of youthful life before you go to eternal damnation. Why enjoy a mere 75 or 80 years of reckless living when you can get 300?