If you are losing your mother to the horror of dementia, let me recommend a book I just read: Where the Light Gets In: Losing My Mother Only to Find Her Again by Kimberly Williams-Paisley.
Each family member may respond to the tragedy of your mom’s illness differently.
[My sister] Ashley dove into research in a way that no one else had the guts to. She wanted to live out the journey we were facing before it happened so that she could be better prepared when it came.” (p. 72) Another family member responded by focusing on statistics, reducing the illness to numbers that could be analyzed and understood. Still another used work and family as a distraction in the hope that things wouldn’t be as bad as the doctors warned.
Your mom may become someone you barely recognize.
Watching your mom’s mental deterioration will absolutely break your heart.
As brutal as this is, there are also moments that are simply beautiful.
Your mom may experience and display a childlike joy and appreciation.
You can still have a relationship with your mom.
You will be changed. And that’s not a bad thing.
I’m grateful for Kimberly Williams-Paisley for writing this book, for allowing me to travel the difficult journey with her, for sharing some hard-learned wisdom with me, and most importantly for letting me know I’m not alone.