Right now, the word “home ” has a couple of meanings. I’m officially in the state of mind that most college students face, where “home” doesn’t feel like it used to and school doesn’t quite cut it as “home.” For me, I think this is more of a thing just because I lived in Chicago over the summer too.
Regardless, life back on the funny farm still is pretty much the same. Being here has reminded me just how much I’ve missed the things that are unique to where I grew up. I’ve missed my loud herd of siblings, and my parents mannerisms. I’ve missed walking on an country road and listening to the wind rustle through the tree branches. I’ve always had this thing for stars, and being able to see them is a highlight (stars have always been able to put my thoughts into perspective and make me feel closer to my Father). Every single time, without fail. Realistically, stars are one of the things I miss the most while living in the city. (besides my family of course). I’ve missed the farm sounds with the “quack pack” (my family’s herd of laying ducks), and the sheep out in the fields. I’ve missed the vast sea of grass on the rolling hills in the fields behind my family’s house too.
Being home has shown me the things I’ve needed a break from in Chicago. I can tell you that I have not missed living in a cramped dorm room, staying up to write papers, the constant sirens, and feeling like I’m under a mountain of stress that could collapse at any moment. I don’t miss getting up and hitting the ground running at 6am just to keep running until 8 or 9pm. Don’t get me wrong, I love the city and the opportunity to study at MBI, but I’ve missed just being able to “be” and not do everything for a little while.
Being back with my family means more than just going back to familiar scenery, it means that I’m back with the people that mean the most to me. I’m back to living with my parents and the nine crazies I have the privilege of calling my brothers and sisters. Gone are the days of staying up until 1 and waking up at 7 or 8. Here, I get a wake up call around 5:30 or 6 by a sweet 2 year old or someone placing my smiley 6 month old brother on top of me. (Occasionally Levi (8) will flick on my light, which I react to very well to. Not.) Early mornings (and no papers), means I’m typically sleeping by 10 or 11 which means my late night friends from school don’t talk to me as much. (Admittedly, I haven’t had much time to try and talk to them either, but that’s not important). I get to snuggle with sweet Mr. Ephraim and Miss Lyddie, listen to Lia and Luke chatter endlessly, and roll my eyes with Addy at Justin, Josh, Alex, and Levi’s antics. Sure things at home have changed. (I’m finally to a place where my parents view me as an adult) I’ve changed a ton. Living away from home for a year and a half will do that. And, of course, my family has changed too. I’m not needed like I was before I left, I don’t have my room or even a bed anymore. My life (“home”), is in Chicago and theirs is here in Ohio. It’s not a bad thing, it still just strikes me as different every single time I come home.
Life is constantly changing and moving. Nothing stays consistent in this stage of life. People come and go constantly whether we want them to or not. This is all just a part of growing and changing into an independent adult. I’ve learned so many lessons since going to Moody, and this is just one of many that has been on my mind lately. Like I’ve said in other posts, all of this is just part of the “season” of being in college.