We are now officially in Mother’s and Father’s Day season in Minnesota. Normally a time of finding dad that perfect tie or T-shirt or finding mom the new waffle iron or perfume she’s been asking about, but for quite a few more moms and dads, it is now a time of stress and conflict because of the problem with Ex’s.
Over the years as a divorce Minnesota lawyer I’ve seen some great parents and not so great parents and and I’ve put together a few tips of what seems to work and doesn’t in the world of blended and divorced families.
Your new boy/girlfriend is not your child’s new mom/dad.
I can’t tell you how man times this comes back to bite the parent in court. You see, while you may love this new person, the court will hold a dim view if you are trying to substitute the child’s real mother or father with your new love interest. Take it slow, don’t have the child call them mom or dad, because no matter how mad you are at your ex, it is still your child’s parent.
Don’t be unreasonable about the actual day.
What I mean here is that if your divorce or paternity decree does not have this day as a special parenting time(some don’t) be reasonable and let the child’s mom take her son or daughter on Mother’ Day (and the same for dads on Father’s Day). By playing the control card all our doing is hurting the child and causing serious ill will towards your ex.
Wanna be super parent? Here’s how, if your mom and have the child most of the time, take the little guy and spend the $5 on a card or a little gift that they pick out. It is a cheap, simple gesture that tells your ex that you care about the kids more than any nasty divorce feelings. It also sends a great message to the kids that family ties, albeit divorced ones, are still very important. I suspect if more parents spent this $5 they would save thousands on future court battles.
Thats about it, it’s not rocket science and it’s pretty much common sense, but these simple little tips might very well help your child and keep you out of a divorce lawyers office.