Let's say that I know this guy who has a really interesting choice to make. This guy is friends with a very sweet lesbian couple. The couple calls the guy over the weekend and make him a proposition: they would like him to be the biological father of their child.
The guy learns that it's a pretty simple process, although it does require some signing of legal documents and a few medical tests. There is no expectation that the guy would be any kind of parental figure to the child. In fact, he has to give up all legal rights in that regard. At some point down the road, the couple would tell the child who his or her father was when they felt the child was ready to know. And that's really it.
Beyond the practicalities of the proposition, the guy realizes the enormous compliment the couple has paid to him — they want some portion of the very essence of him to be in their child. It's an act of faith and trust and love. It's frankly the sweetest thing that has happened to this guy all year.
You should see him, he's been beaming about it ever since. I suspect he is going to say yes.
Friends of this guy might note that an increase in the amount of this guy’s wit, humor, and general artistry in the overall human population would not be a bad thing at all.
It’s a beautiful thing, and I hope he does it. I’m in a position where someday, I’ll need to have to ask someone to do the same thing for my family. It will be a hard question and a hard answer I’m sure. But I hope that someone will understand what a gift it really is.
After re-reading this, I realize that you might not be talking about a hypothetical friend. I’m not really that slow, I swear!
back in college a lesbian couple sort of brought up the idea to me, half asking if I would “donate” to the cause. They kept joking, saying how would anyone ever say no.
Regardless if you have nothing to do with the child, its still part of you, something you made is out in the world and you have zero say in anything in that persons life.