One of the most frequent questions i get asked is about after recovery and believing that you will keep gaining weight, eat too much and become lazy.
This type of thinking isnt uncommon, alot of people in recovery have these fears and thoughts however they arent true. If that was the case then everyone recovering from an eating disorder would be overweight, but that is not how it is for most people anyway.
Recovery is NOT just about eating and gaining weight. There is more to it than that. You need to see food as a friend, as part of your life. Not something you need to control, worry over or feel anxious about.In recovery you need to focus on 1) working and fighting the actual problem that triggered your eating disorder. This of course might not be easy to know, for me it wasn't until after recovery that i could reflect on what it was that caused my eating disorder and that was my need for control as well as low self esteem and worry for the future. And i can say that now all 3 of those things are gone, i dont have control issues - or not as extreme as when i was sick, i dont get anxiety attacks or worry too much about the future as well as i now have ok self esteem. Remember that the problem that caused your eating disorder wont just magically go away, you need to overcome those causes. Recovery also entails finding balance in your life, all aspects of your life. Listening to your body and being kind to yourself and learning to live a happy life.
With that being said, if you find balance in recovery - where you can eat enough and all types of food so that you are neither binging or eating restrictvely, because its then that problems might arise later on as you arent fighting your fears you are still letting food control you (Or better said, you are controlling food). If you find balance with food it means that your weight will also balance itself out.
You should not have to compensate by eating less or exercising lots to try to maintain your weight, that is not a healthy relationship with food or exercise.
Its important to remember that you should NOT exercise to eat. But eat so that you can live life (and if you enjoy it, then exercise).
Exercise is of course a part of a healthy life as it keeps your body and mind healthy. So i do recommend some form of exercise, whether it's just daily activity like taking stairs, walking etc or maybe you enjoy dancing or tennis or swimming a few times a week. That will keep your body and mind healthy, but dont think that you have to exercise after recovery. If you don't enjoy it, then you dont have to force yourself to exercise just because you think that is what others are doing.
I exercise because i love it, it is an enjoyment and a hobby and interest for me. I dont think i would want to work with exercise or do it so often if i didnt love it so much. If my goal was to change my body then i would workout in a different way and i would most probably look very different, but my goal is not to change my body, but to feel healthy and happy and do the form of exercise i enjoy at the moment.
So just because i exercise doesnt mean that you have to as well. YOU CAN STILL MAINTAIN YOUR WEIGHT WITHOUT EXERCISE. Infact the aim is that that is exactly what you should be able to do - maintain weight without any form of compensation.
If you enjoy exercise, that's great. You can begin with that once you are a healthy weight. If you dont enjoy exercise, dont feel guilty. You are not fat or lazy and you wont get fat or lazy either.
Thank you so much ! It's really helpful to read that !
Izzy - just an idea for a topic. I am weight restored - i never had a specific goal weight as knowing my weight really upset me. I feel uncomfy at my weight now my belly feels a bit bigger than normal. Im not sure how to explain this - i was restoring my weight (i was an outpatient) for over 1.5 years, i was never an inpatient. now i feel too heavy, i havent weighed myself as it upsets me too much but jeans that i wore at my low weight still fit but are uncomfy around the waist.
I dont know if i am too heavy for my size now or if its just that i need to get bigger clothes. I dont feel comfy at this weight regardless of the clothes, i have no confidence in my body and feel very self conscious.
Any suggestions or opinions? my gp is happy with my weight but i just dont feel right at it and i guess having an ED makes you wary of trying to lose a little weight once you are weight restored.
Im not Izzy, but I think you should go shopping! :) I know it does feel strange to suddenly look different than you used to, but that doesn't mean it's not a good thing! Relax, hun, I'm sure you don't look big at all!
I know it can be tough, but what you are feeling is ok. It doesnt have to be a bad thing, You are a healthy weight and yes, you have fat on your body - essential fat. You dont need to lose weight or be skinnier, instead you need to accept and love yourself. Also, throw away your old clothes... get rid of them. You dont need the reminder of your past, instead buy fresh new clothes that fit you better. Because its not that you are too big, its that those clothes are too small and for a reason. You were not a healthy weight when you wore them. I would suggest you go shopping, find nice clothes that suit you and fit you well and then enjoy wearing them. But also focus on body love, finding the good things with your body. Because weightloss wont help you, it wont make you feel better. 2kg will turn into 5kg which will turn into 10kg and suddenly you are spiralling down again. You are not too heavy or too big, you might feel a little different and strange, but that is not a bad thing. Now focus on your thoghts, mentally recovering and learning to love yourself! You are more than your body and clothes size, remember that!
Do you have any advice about overcoming anxiety related to eating out with other people? I can manage it with one friend now as long as I plan it before but today with a group of people around a table I just wanted to cry. And it made the whole experience awkward for everyone, not just me. I'm so embarrassed even thinking about it now.
You are such an inspiration - it is just so tiring fighting this all the time!