Decisions about how, where, and when to come out to others are highly personal; there is no single path that is right for everyone. But by sharing our stories, experiences, and resources, we can all help to make the coming out process easier for those who are preparing to undertake it.
In this issue, Rebecca H. gives solid advice on transitioning at work; Ellie O. shares how she came out to her family; and Dani D. reflects on the importance of finding balance in your life. There’s advice on talking to your partner about crossdressing, and a thoughtful piece by Rachel M. explaining her decision not to come out to her parents and brother. Plus, Calie Alexandra reviews the classic book True Selves, an essential guide for those seeking to understand what it means to be transgender.
While there are benefits, there can also be serious risks and consequences involved in coming out. The decision is yours and yours alone. It’s important to weigh both risks and benefits before making a choice to tell others.
Note from Tasi: Most of the RCG articles are no longer available. We are in the process of replacing them with other resources.
Handbags run a close second to shoes as a woman’s favorite accessory and like shoes, your handbag says a lot about you. I admit to some confusion in knowing just how to choose that perfect handbag, but these guidelines below may be helpful to you.
Since most women always keep their eyes on hot styles and designs of handbags, they became more focused on following these latest fashion trends without considering if the handbags will suit their figure. Perhaps, this is one of the most common mistakes that they make. Instead of buying the right handbag that matches their body type, they go after with its brand, styles and designs just to be in step with the hottest trend in fashion.
We all know that trendy styles of handbags, most especially if these are designer handbags are very tempting to buy even though they don’t suit your figure. But this attitude is not an ideal way to make your outfit looks stand out. Keeping up on the latest fashion is not just enough to make you shine. Always remember that anything you wear must have some coordination and balance with your body. For some women who are fashion enthusiasts, choosing and matching handbags are just simple but for others who are not, it’s not just as easy.
Knowing the right size of a handbag for your body type should be the first thing to consider before buying it. This will help you find the most appropriate handbag that would look best for you. Just keep in mind that no matter how stylish and elegant a handbag that you carry, it will be unfashionable if it doesn’t set off with your figure.
Most fashion experts suggest that if you’re short and petite, it’s best to choose small handbags to work well with your outfit. This is because selecting big handbags will make you look smaller. On the other hand, if you’re tall and slim, you must avoid these small bags. You can rely to use for some mid size, bulky and large handbags because these sizes will be best suit for your stature.
Choosing the best shape of handbag for your figure is another preference before purchasing it. Always bear in mind that carrying a handbag that is proportioned with your body shape is the best way to look stylish and fashionable because it really helps to change and enhance your overall look.
The best tip to achieve this is to make sure that your choice of handbag shape is the opposite of your body type. So if you’re slim and tall, you should choose rounded bag to best match your look. However, if you have a shorter physique, tall and rectangular bag is suitable for you to make you look elevated.
After you have selected the right size and shape of a handbag that best suit to you, it’s now time to choose for its color. Matching up the color of handbag to your outfit and shoes is an ideal way to have a fashionable style. Try to buy a colorful handbag that has dominant colors that will match most of your clothes. But to be more practical, you can also go for a plain handbag with just one color. It’s most recommended to take neutral color handbags since they are popular choice. Black is a neutral color so you can never go wrong in selecting it because it always comes in style and fashion. You can also harmonize it with any color of your outfit. Brown and white colors are also advisable to use because you can also match them with most of your clothes.
And finally, it’s really important that you know what will be the purpose of a handbag. To be practical, you must put some considerations on its functions because every occasion, place and season calls for different styles and designs of handbags. Just be sure that you’re chosen handbag complements to a specific place or occasion and there’s no doubt that you’ll achieve the stylish outfit you most desire.
Now that you’re familiar with some basic tips in choosing a handbag that looks well with your figure, you can now enjoy your shopping in some handbag stores and boutiques. But if you’re a time savvy customer who doesn’t have enough time in going out to mall, you can find some online shopping sites for your convenience and visit their designer handbag section for your wider selections of different sizes, shapes and styles of handbags that will make you shine above the rest.
The crossbody bag is a must-have because it’s so damn wearable and comfortable. Hands-free shopping, train commuting, coffee-down-the-street-carrying, really, the possibilities are endless. If you expect to have your hands full on a certain day, you need one of these.
The weekender isn’t just for impromptu trips to the Cape, this large bag doubles in a pinch as other bag types you need in your daily life. For example, the gym bag, the grocery bag, the diaper bag, and of course, the carry-on bag that takes the place of your purse and allows you to haul more stuff with you under your seat on the plane.
I simply call this the brunch bag, for those days you’re only going to be out for a couple of hours and really don’t need to carry all that extra handbag. Of course, a sequined clutch could be cute, on occasion. But mostly you’ll just want something that says causal, simple to grab on-the-go.
One of our favorite categories just because it’s so pretty. You need only one or two of these in a neutral shade that goes with everything.
Now there are a few women that resist carrying a handbag so you really need to understand why women carry handbags.
There are many icons that you might choose, but I would agree with this infographic from Igigi. These women are still some of the most stylish ladies of this century.
AngoraYarn from the long, incredibly soft hair of an angora rabbit or goat.
Anti-pill Used to describe the wear resistance of a fabric. Fibers in low-quality fabrics tend to twist together, resulting in an uneven and worn look. Anti-pill fleece is specially woven to prevent this from happening.
A diamond-shaped plaid pattern on a knit fabric.
This is another name for a demi cup bra. A balconette bra has more of a horizontal line going across the top of the bustline. Most of the time, the cups are seamed for an upward boost to give the breasts the look as if corseted. A balconette bra can also have push-up pads as well. The name balconet comes from men in the balcony of a theater looking down upon women. A balconet bra could not be seen from above.
Bamboo fabric is made from the pulp of the bamboo grass. It is light and strong, has excellent wicking properties, and is to some extent antibacterial. The use of bamboo fiber for clothing was a 20th century development, pioneered by several Chinese corporations.Bamboo is highly water absorbent, able to take up three times its weight in water. In bamboo fabric, this translates to an excellent wicking ability that will pull moisture away from the skin so that it can evaporate.Bamboo also has many antibacterial qualities which are retained through multiple washings. This helps to reduce bacteria that thrives on clothing and causes unpleasant odors. It can also kill odor causing bacteria that live on human skin, making the wearer and his or her clothing smell much less. In addition, bamboo fabric has insulating properties and will keep the wearer cooler in summer and warmer in winter.
The process applied to hosiery to improve the final presentation. When the hosiery is still damp from dying it is pulled over a metal form and subject to pressure and heat. This sets the garment to its familiar leg and foot profile. (used only with non-stretch or polyamide products).
The shortened word for brassiere. A woman’s close-fitting undergarment which is worn to support and give contour to the breasts. View HerRoom’s bra department.
A bralet is an unlined, soft cup bra. It resembles a very short crop top. Bralets are primarily used as a teen bra or sleep/lounge bra because they do not offer a significant amount of support. View HerRoom’s selection of bralets.
The term breathability is associated with fabric and its ability to allow airflow. Generally, if a fabric has breathability, the garment will not hold in moisture. A simple test to see if a fabric has breathability is to hold it up to your mouth and see if air can pass through it. If it can, the fabric has breathability.
A carbon fabrication blends carbon-infused fibers by the burning of bamboo, and blends them with poly-tech fiber to create a durable, tech fabrication that is beneficial to your body – anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, deodorizing, breathable, and moisture wicking.
Process in which modern seamless hosiery is made, which results in a tapered tube, which is then sewn closed at the toe.
A polyester fiber designed to move moisture away from the body and out onto the surface of the garment for quick absorption. This leaves the wearer feeling cooler and dryer. Coolmax is also fast drying, resists fading, and doesn’t wrinkle or shrink. Because of the movement of moisture, wearing Coolmax indoors without airflow to properly evaporate can cause puddling, since Coolmax does not absorb. Coolmax works best outdoors where there is airflow to evaporate body moisture.
A natural fiber that grows in the seedpod of the cotton plant. Fibers are typically 1/2 inch to 2 inches long. The longest staple fibers– longer than 1 1/2 inch, including the Pima and Egyptian varieties– produce the highest quality cotton fabrics.
A hard-spun two ply cotton yarn made from long staple fibers and treated to remove all short fuzzy ends for a smooth finish. Lisle is a popular choice for fine men’s knitwear, including tops and socks.
All cotton grown in Egypt is “Egyptian” but it is not all extra-long staple (ELS) cotton – the most desirable and softest. The description “Egyptian cotton” conjures in the mind of many consumers the image of the very finest and longest cottons in the world. Egypt does produce and sell some of the best ELS cotton in the world, but it amounts to less than 15% of annual global ELS cotton exports, and is approximately 40% of Egyptian cotton exports.
Elastane is just another name for an old fiber: Spandex. The word “elastane” is used in Europe while “spandex” is used in the United States. Elastane/spandex trade names are Lycra and Dorlastan.
A process that produces a raised design or pattern on fabrics by passing the cloth between hot, engraved rollers that press the design in.
The European heel is similar to the Cuban heel but with a pointed design. It is also known as the French heel, or simply pointed heel.
A type of fabric with patterned cut-out designs, around which stitching or embroidery is applied in order to prevent the fabric from raveling.
Lightweight, synthetic fiber that can be used to line bra cups.
A product of Invista, and teamed with Lycra, freshFX technology creates “refreshing” fabric to be used in underwear and/or sleepwear to give it a great fit, feel, coolness and freshness all day long. FreshFX also has a fabulous soft hand and an excellent drape.
A very high quality knit fabric with 4-way stretch that comes from Italy. Italian nylon includes some lycra to give great stretch and recovery, good strength, abrasion resistance and long germ resistance to body acids.
A double knit fabric in which a Jacquard type of mechanism is used. This device individually controls needles or small groups of needles, and allows very complex and highly patterned knits to be created.
Knit fabrics are made the same way a knitted scarf is made by someone at home with two needles and a ball of yarn. Knitting is a process that loops a piece of yarn in a row a few times, then links those loops with another row of loops and so on. Knit fabrics are naturally stretchy because of the loops in the fibers. Knit fabrics include jersey, mesh, toweling, felt and fleece.
Rather than cutting fabric the traditional way, a laser is used, but only on synthetic fabrics – otherwise, a fabric could catch on fire. The advantages of laser cutting include no raveling, and a flat seamless edge.
The name “Leavers” derives from the loom used to create this lace. The Leavers machine introduced the production of intricate lace patterns similar to those created by hand. Leavers looms are the only machines capable of working with a high number of threads, reproducing the intricate work of hand made lace. The lace created is distinguished by high definition design. The length, width and the thinness may vary depending on the machine used.
A fabric made from linen fibers obtained from inside the woody stem of the flax plant. Linen fibers are much stronger and more lustrous than cotton. Linen fabrics are very cool and absorbent, but wrinkle very easily, unless blended with manufactured fibers. Linen is one of the world’s oldest textile fibers.
The name given to material sewn into the inside of a garment to make it more opaque or more comfortable against the skin. Frequently lining is used in a bra to add structure or provide a pretty background to sheer and/or lacy fabrics.
Memory foam is being used more an more in bras. The same foam you see in the mattress commercial where the girl is jumping but the water glass is not moving, when used in a bra cup this foam will shape more to your body, then return to its original shape once taken off. This advantage means that your bra cups will not develop creases that are hard or impossible to remove. Storage of memory foam bras is not as important because the shape will pop back if crushed.
Cotton that has been through a wet finishing process which swells the yarns of the fabric to give it a round smooth surface and stops the cotton from further shrinkage. This process results in a stronger and more lustrous yarn that is more easily dyed, producing brighter, deeper colors.
Merino wool means the wool fiber is long and fine. The result is a fabric that is thin, soft and luxurious.
Micro Modal® is a trademarked microfiber from an Austrian textile company, Lenzing. Micro Modal is a fabric made from spun beechwood cellulose. The fabric is delicate and light. The smooth surface of Micro Modal prevents deposits of lime and detergents. Even after numerous washings, fabrics made from Micro Modal remain soft and silky, the colors bright and shiny. Micro Modal is 50% more absorbent than cotton thus allowing the skin to breathe and provides incredible comfort.
Microfleece is an ultra-soft synthetic wool-like fabric. It’s the fabric that teddy bears are made of.
Fabrics that have the moisture wicking feature are able to draw moisture away from the body and put it on the surface of the fabric for quick evaporation. Many sports bras and tops are made with moisture wicking fabrics.
A swirled pattern characterized by a teardrop shape. Popularized in Paisley, Scotland, during the 1800s, this design was originally an adaptation of a spade pattern found on Indian shawls. Today, paisley decorates everything from sheetings to fine dresses and always makes a statement of rich elegance.
A velvet-like fabric that has been flattened to achieve a desired design or look.
A heavy twill-weave drape-able satin fabric, made of silk or a manufactured fiber.
A small, embroidered loop forming an ornamental edging on a ribbon or lace.
Pima cotton is a generic name for extra-long staple (ELS) cotton grown in the U.S., Australia, Peru and in very limited production in a few other locations around the world Pima was previously called American-Egyptian cotton but was renamed to honor the Pima Indians who were growing the cotton for the USDA in Sacaton, Arizona. Pima is from the gossypium barbadense species, compared to gossypium hirsutum to which upland cotton belongs. The primary differences between Pima (ELS growths) cotton and upland cotton are staple length and strength of the fiber. In the U.S., cotton is considered to be ELS or Pima if it is an inch and 3/8 or longer. Its strength and uniformity measurements are considerably higher than those of upland cotton. It has a silk-like hand and a very fine weave.
A fabric in which bands of color running horizontally and vertically intersect to form squares. Plaids date back to the 1500s and now come in many patterns from argyle and gingham to madras and windowpane.
This is both the name of a fabric and a fiber. A manufactured fiber introduced in the early 1950s, it is second only to cotton in worldwide use. Its ability to stretch and resist wrinkling makes it a popular fabric for lingerie. Polyester has high strength (although somewhat lower than nylon), excellent resiliency, and high abrasion resistance. Low absorbency allows the fiber to dry quickly.
A two-way stretch nylon fabric that provides excellent support. Also used in high-end compression garments, powernet has high compression with low stretch qualities to give you outstanding support without stretching out and losing its strength. Bras with powernet will last longer and stretch out less than bras using other stretch fabrics.
The cotton fibers are tightly twisted together to make a stronger, smoother and finer thread. Ringspun cotton fabric is therefore softer and finer feeling than basic cotton fabric.
A process of preshrinking fabric. Patented by Cluett, Peabody and Co., Inc. the label means permanent fit – the fabric shrinkage is held to just 1%.
This is a term to describe hosiery that is slightly translucent but not totally non transparent. It is usually of a lighter denier tight, or a heavier denier stocking of hold-up.
A serger machine sews, overcasts and trims a seam all in one step. Therefore this seam is called a serged seam. A serged seam usually is made with 3 to 4 threads.
This is a term, sometimes called gossamer given to the shininess or glitter like appearance of the stockings. 100% nylon non-stretch stockings and nylon-lycra blends have a very high sheen, which is their trademark.
A term used to describe garments that are transparent and allow the body to be seen.
A decorative effect created by material being gathered into lines.
A type of knit fabric that is firm, yet can also be knit to give a little stretch. Simplex has a mechanical stretch meaning that it stretches evenly in all directions. However, like our skin, it can stretch, but wants to bounce back to it’s original state. Therefore, it’s a perfect “second skin” fabric.
Soutache consists of loops similar to a ribbon, made of silk or other material, primarily attached by hand on fabric in an intricate pattern. Soutache is both used in lingerie and swimwear and represents one of the most sophisticated types of workmanships used by lingerie designers.
Soy fabric is made from the leftover dregs from soybean oil or tofu production. The protein is extracted and the fiber spun into cloth. It is an excellent recycle scenario that makes this fabric eco-friendly. Similar to natural silk, it is common for there to be occasional slubs in the soy fabric, which adds to its natural beauty.Soy is incredibly soft and silky and is otherwise known as vegetable cashmere. Soy is as easy to care for as any cotton t-shirt.
Spacer foam, also called spacer fabric, is a very expensive knit used as the cup fabric in molded bras. It is a knit that has both a top and bottom layer, with filaments between – similar to a corrugated box. This creates air pockets between the layers. All of this is knit as one piece of fabric. The advantage of spacer foam is that it is very light weight , breathes, can be thinner than traditional foam used in contour bra cups, won’t yellow, yet provides modesty like a contour cup bra.
A synthetic fiber made from polyurethane. It is lightweight, highly elastic, strong, durable and non-absorbent to water and oils. A great alternative to people allergic to latex. In Europe, they call this elastane.
A rigid fabric interlining that restricts the stretch of selected areas of the garment to allow for better support.
Stockings that stay up without the need for garters. True stay-ups usually consist of a decorative stretch lace top, with a silicone band inside of the lace to help grip the leg.
The name “Supima” is a licensed trademark owned by Supima and its members. It is used to promote textile and apparel products made of 100% American Pima cotton, but is strictly controlled by the grower organization. The name “Supima” is an abbreviation for Superior Pima.
Supplex nylon is made by DuPont®. It is a cottony soft nylon that offers the performance benefits of a man-made fabric with the look of cotton. It is lightweight, quick drying and durable.
Tactel nylon is made by DuPont. It is a silkier softer nylon with a crinkle finish. It is lightweight and quick drying.
Tencel is the trademark name for lyocell. Lyocell is a cellulose fabric obtained by an organic solvent spinning process. This fabric is a sub-category of rayon.
A state-of-the-art fiber with a hollow core to keep you warmer and drier by wicking moisture away.
This word comes from the French word “tricoter” which means to knit. Tricot is a finely knit fabric that stretches in both the lengthwise and crosswise directions. It was developed especially for the underwear industry and can be made from nylon, wool, rayon, silk, cotton or other fibers.
X-Static-The sliver fiber, has a layer of pure silver permanently bonded to the surface of a textile fiber. The process is such that the fiber, with its sliver layer, retains traditional textile and tactile characteristics. It can be used in knits, wovens and non-wovens as either a filament or spun yarn. X-Static offers all of the benefits known to be inherent to pure silver, only in a new format-a textile fiber.