We all fight with our significant other from time to time. The truth is, fighting is a natural process that every person will go through. No two person are perfect, which is the reason why fights will always arise sometime during your relationship. Even the fortunate ones have occasional fights. Fights are actually helpful in order to maintain your loving relationship. Of course I’m not saying you should pick a fight with your significant other right after you read this. There are things you can do to make sure that the outcome benefits both of you as a whole.
The most important thing that everybody should remember is to never keep emotions bottled up. We all seen the typical situation where a person consistently bottled up their emotions only to explode in the future and cause a huge rift. If your lover does or says something that really bothers you, don’t feel scared to tell them. However, when you do approach them, make sure you use a friendly tone and explain clearly why his or her actions bothered you. For example, you should never tell your significant other “You never call me anymore!” Instead, try something along the lines of, “You know, lately you haven’t been calling me. I know you have been busy recently, but I would appreciate it if you would just take a few minutes to give me a call.” If you go into it screaming and yelling, then an argument will surely ensue. Remember that you should try to diffuse any tension right away, so a small problem doesn’t turn into a disaster. But choose your battles wisely. You don’t want to be too picky and bring up every little minute detail.
If there are times that big problems do arise, try your best to maintain your composure and rationalize. The goal is to solve the problem, not trying to figure out who is at fault. Most of the time, both parties are at fault. If you spend too long arguing over who’s wrong and who’s right, then you’re just wasting time. Focus on the root of the problem. Take turns telling one another what exactly is bothering you, and what you would like the other party to do. Perhaps the most important thing is to listen. You may have a long list of the things you want to say to him or her, but understand that maybe the reason behind it is related to you. Don’t try to talk at the same time, because then no one listens. If you start yelling, then both of you have lost. Don’t be afraid to sleep on it and resolve the problem the next day. Sometimes we need time to reflect on the bigger picture and empathize for the other person. Take a moment to understand your partner’s position and try to come up with a solution that will be beneficial for the both of you.
Always apologize. Like I said before, whenever an argument arises, usually both parties are at fault. Even if in the rare chance that the fault lies entirely on one party, there might have been barriers that caused interference. Apologizing does not mean that you are wrong. It’s a way to tell the other person that you care about them, and you want to work on improving the relationship between the two of you. Two simple words goes a long way to resolving conflicts. Even if you think you didn’t do anything wrong, you can still say, “I’m sorry if you misunderstood my actions. In the future I will try to express myself more clearly.” Of course you should be genuine with your apologies in order for it to work.
If all else fails, you can always kiss and make up. Granted you didn’t do anything extreme like cheat, you can always give your partner a great big kiss and hug him or her tightly. This will create a more peaceful situation and allow you to calmly discuss the problem. Lighten the mood will create a healthy environment for communicating. Both of you will be more relaxed and open to suggestions. We are more willing to listen when we are calm and level-headed.
Every couple has arguments. Fighting is not a sign of weakness, rather it is an opportunity to strengthen your bond together. After a fight, we realize that we learned something about the other person that we didn’t know before. Gradually, we learn to mold our behavior and actions to create a stronger love. Remember that a relationship involves two parties. Communication also involves two parties. Take a moment next time to listen and understand each others’ viewpoint.
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