I’m surprised MMM didn’t offer her a used minivan in place of an SUV. To be fair, a prius is not the best choice for someone making runs to Home Depot and taking lots of people on trips to the beach, but an SUV is a silly idea for nearly anyone. We wrestled with the SUV/crossover/minivan/wagon decision when we had our first child. The wife had pretty much ruled out the minivan because it wasn’t cool, but then her dad sold us his old (still very nice) minivan at a price we couldn’t turn down. Now it’s our preferred vehicle (of 2), and we couldn’t imagine having anything else. The plan is to eventually get rid of the car and just have a minivan.
I’ve never been married and probably never will, but my impression is if you are considering marriage, you and your potential partner should be having serious discussions about what you really want out of life. A good place to start is this book: http://www.amazon.com/1001-Questions-Ask-Before-Married/dp/0071438033/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1408069774&sr=1-1&keywords=1001+questions+to+ask+before+you+get+married. It seems a lot of people marry because they believe it’s what you are supposed to do, regardless of whether you are well matched or not.
This sounds so much like my soon to be ex-wife. When she opens up and lets you in to the train of thought that is going on upstairs it scares me for that couple. She’s in the slow lane and they’re in the fast lane? To where, Starbucks? Who gives a flip?
The advice posted here won’t work for everyone. It is still good advice, though. So what if you can’t bike to work? Take the advice in the spirit that it’s written. Reduce your transportation costs. Think about inventive ways you can use your car less. If you work at a law firm with a strictly conservative dress code (as I do), buy your clothes on sale. Institute a rule (much like MMM’s grocery rules) where if you see a formal wear sale where costs are at or below a certain threshold, stock up! Talbot’s is having a season close out sale where you can get $100 slacks for $17! You can cope with a restrictive dress code if the high paying job is worth it to you. Maybe you love your work, maybe you like the money, it doesn’t matter. Take the advice. You don’t have to follow it to the letter.
Hilarious exchange. As a moderate, I can see both sides in this debate. I do think some ‘little luxuries’ do make you happy and are worth it. Occasionally meeting a friend for a $4 coffee while you chat and enjoy the atmosphere is perfectly fine. Stopping before work to get a $4 latte when you have it for free in the office 30 minutes later is probably a waste. One minor point about the vehicles bought on credit stat: I think smart wealthy people also buy vehicles on credit when interest rates are low. My net worth is several hundred thousand, but for any new purchase, if the APR is <4%, I will buy on credit, because I make at minimum 10% nominally in the stock market. Choosing to pay cash for such a purchase means at least 6% lost in opportunity cost.
Wow that’s a lot of comments! I’m still adding mine. Assuming this is not a troll, my advice to the woman is to divorce her husband because he deserves a better woman. Her single letter to Mmm is packed so full of reasons where do I start. They are frugal because they just paid off a huge debt. He is smart to be cautious. You don’t go from apartment to Tahoe in 60 seconds. Never mind that I am a bike rider and pluck my mustache and am over-soft especially in the tricept area, I have NEVER been in a relationship where my partner controlled my Starbucks/nailpolish/itunes/insertguiltypleasure habits because I always had my own account and my own big bills. I also had shared purchases and shared debts like a new car, rent, until and food, but I always had my own pot of money to buy what I want. Why can’t she just buy a couch? She does work! Then its her couch! I fear her personal budget doesn’t exist because her entire paycheck goes into a shared checking account because why? Till broke do we part? The romantic foreplay of mingling dollars?? Divorce will never happen therefore all safety nets are gone?. Once you have control over your emotions can you have control over your money. Dear woman wife, this is not the 1880s. I strongly urge you make a choice. You are either in or you are out, of this marriage that is, and blaming a stranger for having a blog on the internet written from his personal point of view (whose else would it be) is not going to save your marriage. This is the only advice you deserve on this blog but you need much more. For that you must go to other blogs about communicating with your husband, the basics of. Next pls visit a blog about how to financially recover from a divorce with/without a Tahoe payment. It’s important.
The comments onthis thread, which show up in my email, are making my stomach turn. There are some pretty judgey readers spewing some vile language in reference to divorce and blame. Its been nauseating for some time now. I should say worse than the profiled couples behavior.
Am I the only one who laughed out loud at the absurdity of the complaints? This has to be a joke. Who says things like that? I mostly enjoyed the paragraph about the need and desire for and SUV. I almost cried it was so funny. I couldn’t possibly be offended by such ridiculousness. Her poor husband . . .
For the record, I’m a woman and I am dragging my husband into this. I recently realized that I spend tons of money and I have no idea on what. I don’t have fancy clothes or a fancy car… I rarely ever step foot into a salon. It almost led to a panic attack. The reality of all of this scared the crap out of me. I am arming myself with this blog and tons of patience to change my lifestyle and hopefully that of my children.
I am damn lucky to be married to a woman who could be Mrs. Money Mustache herself – she is right here along side me in our quest to retire as soon as we can. We no longer buy crap that we don’t need and devote her entire salary into savings. It is truly amazing what can be done when both spouses are on the same page. The thought of complete financial independence and no longer being tied down by a job should tempt almost anyone to give this lifestyle a try.
Since I started reading MMM over a year ago, I’ve been chipping away at the lifestyle changes one at a time (just this month I regained $55/mo by switching from t-mo to ting, and $40/mo by paying my mortgage and rental mortgage using serve and arrival+ card). However, I have not yet been able to move closer to my work or change my commute of 22 miles each way (gratefully because of some online work, I do not have to commute every day). I used to bristle every time I saw someone driving around my neighborhood in a Hummer or Tahoe, but now I stop myself and think–if that person works within a couple miles of home, school, and grocery store they might be doing better on gas than I am in my 42mpg Honda Civic HX. I think this is an interesting area for compromise, given that one can find a Tahoe for a screaming good price on almost any used lot in town. Yes, I agree with so many of the comments above–If you can’t get a few Prius hubcaps or even new wheels for a great deal on Craigslist, then you don’t know how to shop. But for someone looking for compromise, putting very low monthly miles on an evil SUV seems like a trade I might be willing to entertain if it made people in my house happier.
i think the real problem lies in the fact that we, the stachians, are looking to just change their views, the consumer heavy’s views, about wanting x y and z but we aren’t asking why they want x,y, and z and how we can show them they can get the same or better satisfaction from a much cheaper source! i.e. coffees ever-day, you can brew your own at home!
I’m new to MMM so late to this blog. I am now more comfortable in my chosen way of life/spending and my resulting attractiveness to the ladies. Good to know there are others out there.
For an alternative perspective, Mr. MM actually created my pending marriage.
I’ve always been frugal, but that was more about stretching a budget and making my money go farther now than actually applying a little bit of common sense and badassity to go further. I love DIY.
My partner on the other hand loves to save money. He prefers a simple life and hard work. A lot of things are pretty straightforward for him – he just uses stuff until it can’t be used anymore. Then he generally replaces with something of quality to ensure a long life time. He didn’t have a car, just a bike and he rented a room and kept his bills at less than $400 a month.
Then one day I was introduced to him at work. I was getting a promotion, and he was the Senior Technician I’d be working with on projects. He smiled at me and I fell for him like a bad love song.
Many many moons later, we got a great apartment near work, he adopted my 2 year old daughter and we are expecting our first child together. We strategically located ourselves near work, downtown and near several grocery stores. We’ve managed to have combined expenses down considerably allowing me to stay home when #2 arrives. We are going to officially go car free after I’m cleared to bike again (cesarean), and we’re car light.
Because of your attitude and similarities with my personality your blog gets me super excited about all of this. I see it all in a new light, and I am motivated to keep us going. I even figured out we’d be better off buying a condo soon instead of continuing to rent because buying condos is very cheap in this area. I never would have considered this previously, as I figured it was ALWAYS best to just buy a house and stay there.
My drive and excitement about FI coupled with my partner’s natural love of saving has turned us into a great power couple and is allowing us to live the life of our dreams.
Wow. Being a woman myself, I find it completely ridiculous that she thinks that women – ALL women?! – have the goal of being spendthrifts. How absurd! And she thinks that Mustachianism is only for men just because she doesn’t dig it but her husband does?? I might grant her that the term “Mustachianism” does have a bit of an exclusively masculine tone since women cannot by and large grow mustaches and lots of guys can. But honestly, I was embarrassed for her and resented her pooling me (and everyone else who is female) into this tsunami of wastefulness that she assumes that all women want. Sheesh!