I thought life was going to be so easy. I thought I had it all figured out. Get a job, get married, have a family, and die happy. Life’s journey sure has crushed that simple concept.
I am 27 years old and have experienced more than I ever asked for – good and bad. Most people couldn’t even fathom what I have gone through. I have watched my entire world collapse before my eyes with no power to stop it. I have seen everything turn into darkness. I have had my heart ripped open and every existence lost into infinite.
I have learned to cross too many lines drawn in front of me. I have fallen headfirst; I have felt the edge of the world on my bare feet.
These eyes have seen too much, these ears have heard much more. My heart has grown stronger, my mind smarter. All the times I have fallen on my knees, all the times I have begged, I thought life might never be worth it all.
2016 was a year full of lessons for me. I spent most of the year trying to figure out who I was, where I wanted to go, and questioning what I was doing with this life. It was the first full year I spent away from my family. There were many nights spent staying awake, questioning every decision that lead me here.
It was a very difficult year – probably the most difficult I have ever experienced. It was both mentally and physically draining. It got to a point where I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, and how I was going to go on. Months would pass by where I didn’t write a single word, and I just didn’t have the energy or motivation to do it. I stopped reading; I let my hobbies fade away. I complained about everything, and I found myself showing hatred more than kindness. Sometimes we hit a brick wall, and I think 2016 was the year I finally hit mine.
It takes a lot of courage to speak out for what you believe is important. I’ve learned it is definitely something most of us need to practice more because if not us, who? Whether it be at work, at school, on public transport, or at the hospital. If you want something to change – you need to be that voice.
You need to decide what you want to speak up about and how you are going to do it. Stephen Hawking once said that you must concentrate on the things your disability doesn’t prevent you from doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. I believe we all have the power to do something positive. Don’t ever be afraid to raise your voice, especially for honesty and compassion.
I get a million ideas in my head all the time. I am constantly talking to my family, “Well what if I do this?”. I want so badly to influence, to change, and to be a strong voice. I believe I was given this life not to suffer, but to inspire.