Today I became November. The vote was five to four with one abstention; January always abstains. For no requirement forces his lack of action in voting; only custom. January rules by custom. Today was no different. A few of my predecessors campaigned for and against my ascension. I believe without my detractors, I would be October, possibly even September by now. I paid my dues and bided my time. I knew what the others wanted without becoming an obsequious quisling such as many who occupied this chair before me. Politics aside, I am the right person for this position. And if I have to dazzle all before me, I will. Not outlandishly, but quietly. I have always been determined to avoid those whose sole goal is to undermine November. No, I will precisely word the previous sentence. I am not going to avoid such contrarians. Now that I am November, I will destroy them.
We gather when necessary. Even then, it is rare. Most of my work occurs well in advance of this meeting. Such is the case of November. As December, I confirmed facts and alleviated suspicions entirely with field work. When gathered, I never spoke aloud once. Never. Not once. I could have, but I chose differently. For this is the new precedent I established; as December, I listened. As December, I chose no sides. December offers nothing to any faction. December can only aid with well researched, timely provided facts. Nothing more. Nothing less.
And I was a great December. I eclipsed the memories of those who sat with the multitude of previous Decembers that brazenly grasped the office without the credentials it required. My efficiency became memorable with the Eleven. So much, that four of them desired my attendance as December in perpetuity. The years passed and the opportunities became fewer. Had it not been for the unfortunate demise of the previous November, my stagnated advancement might endure forever. So serendipity opened the door and I walked through. Yesterday, I was December. Today, I am November.
April always opens and directs our meetings. He sets the agenda, follows the rules, and demands strict adherence to the order in our charter. April is not the chair. April is the whip. April voted against my promotion.
February is the Chairman and the power of the group. He will decide what is addressed and who will answer. February is power. He answers to none of the Eleven. Technically, January is his elder, but the records indicate no single documented point of contention between the two since our founding. February, hesitatively, voted for me.
Reservedly, I say yes. It is the first word I have ever spoken here. It will not be my last.
I knew what February wanted and allowed him to save face. I interrupted with, “Yes, I am quite capable of attending to the duties of both December and November for the duration of this meeting.” I sounded somewhat bold with that statement and others detected it also. I opened the door for a reply.
It began with June. “Quite a brash beginning, November.” June always has a disdain in his voice. Reading a transcript of his comments reveals none of the contempt listening to the same comments has. June led the charge against my November promotion. June attacked my December hiring. “Perhaps November can demonstrate the duties of his new office. For the record, please state the duties of November.” This sounded deceptively easy; actually too easy. Always smoke from a distant fire with June. “November is the Devil’s advocate. Since November cannot vote, November’s purpose is to force the Eleven to fully embrace and implement the decisions of the Eleven. November asks, what if? November offers alternatives. November tries to persuade the Eleven (or as many as he can) to November’s way of thinking. In doing so, the Eleven cannot decide without knowledge of consequences, cannot calculate without exposure to reality. In short, the presence of November forces the best from the Eleven.” More drumming of fingers on the tabletop meant I was correct. Satisfied, June withdrew his reservation and returned control of the agenda back to February.
“The first order of business is the status of the individual retirement accounts. Over six trillion in assets exists in these accounts. Each day that passes, the accounts grow at a pitiful aggregate of less than 1% per annum. The chair is open to discussions concerning better uses for these funds.” As per our rules, all awaited January’s abstention. February, March, and April campaigned for seizure of assets and absorption of former account holders into the Social Security system. May, June, July, and August voted in unison with the elders. September and October reserved their time to voice their opinions until after mine. The chair permitted this irregularity and I was now in the spotlight.
“Seizure of private assets is both illegal and unconstitutional. Assets are earned in exchange for time. Seizure of assets is seizure of time. This is akin to forced employment without compensation, thus slavery. In addition, due process and eminent domain laws restrict and prohibit such actions.” Not a bad reply; part December, part November.
In retrospect, this is where all of my troubles began. Not that I advocated for a system so horrific; if it was only that simple. My troubles began with the ease at which I advocated for such a system. If only I knew then what I know now.
Without recognition, October spoke aloud. A nod from January and the membership permitted this action. “Who benefits? Who are the shepherds? What of the sheep?” It was not the articulate prose normally exposed from this reserved individual. I do believe he forced himself to action without his customary editing.
This last series of answers visibly disturbed October. And September. And August. The thinly veiled poker faces the others displayed mocked their neutrality. Whether each agreed or not, November did his job.
May seized the initiative without January or February recognition. He seemed ready to fight, but calmed himself with ease. Perhaps this was just a display for the members, perhaps just for himself. Two deep breaths and he spoke. “Why even take any action? Whether the debt or immigration or the flavor-of-the-month social issue, the Eleven have always profited from an incognito approach. We are Adam Smith’s laissez-faire invisible hand, not Niccolo Machiavelli’s prince.” This time, all but January drummed their fingers on the table. January remained aloof from any physical response. He always listened and he rarely acted.
February called for a brief intermission.
On his return, February asked the next series of questions. He spoke of immigration, of open borders, of low-cost labor and such. Surely, based upon supply and demand, the excess of this mobile and inexpensive capital could only benefit the economy. Since I am now November, I had to contradict the statement. I did not have to attack the premise or the conclusion, just the statement. And of course, I had to be correct. “The introduction of excess labor into an already beleaguered economy dilutes the value of all occupations. What once had a certainty of success now becomes only a chance. Permitting an open border permits an invasion. If this is the purpose, then so be it. If the archer’s aim is higher than mere mortals may see, then allow me to speculate.” February allowed such a diversion. “Open borders are the onset to unification, not invasion. The amalgamation of population, culture, and languages enforces adherence to the current and subjugates those with ties to the former as deniers, racists, or fringe elements. None of this has to be true. It isn’t the charge that need be proved. It is only the seriousness of the charge that all must hear. For success on this level, you will require an accomplice. The media has easily proven themselves time and time again worthy of that assignment. By, allowing specific members of the media to propagate a single lie as truth, telling each lie as frequently as possible and eliminating all opposition to the new truth makes short work of the opposition’s credibility and thus, the opposition itself. Decrying all who oppose this unification as unfit to speak against it is only the beginning. To fully reap the harvest of such a plan, constant distractions are required. An attack on A from B must be met with and attack on B concerning C, D, E, and F. Should B spend his time defending against C, D, E, or F, label him without credentials to speak on A. Should B continue to speak against A, label B unfit to speak on A because he cannot control the attacks from C, D, E, and F. Logic need not apply here, nor justice. Just a constant source of slogans for the masses, a singular message in all media outlets, and a regular array of unknown knights ready to defend the new truth against all onslaughts. These knights need not be proficient in the new truth. They need only keep others from becoming curious. As before, the concept of immigration is but a tactic in the war on intelligence, the war on thought, and the war on logic. As per George Orwell, War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, and Ignorance is Strength.” I spoke more than I should. So I took a sip of the water brought to my place at the table during the intermission. While doing so, I noticed a smile from January. Not much of a smile, but a smile. He was pleased. I was pleased. I am enjoying being November.
Now both January and February moved ever so slightly closer to hear my response. I thought for a moment, finished the contents of my water glass, and began as November must. “Do you ask because Chairman Mao was unavailable for comment? Did Stalin himself close the library stacks on this topic? If you wish to exercise control over all aspects of life and thought, then finish the job you started. Monopolize all education and brand it public education and not government education. Tax the willing participants. Tax the resistors more. Create new legislation recognizing intent as more than motive. See it now as evidence. Establish hate crimes. Popularize slogans such as micro-aggression. Confiscate personal property on the sole basis it may fund a drug culture, not that it ever did. Erase from public access all information contradictory to the new thought. Herald the collaborators as heroes and destroy the opposition as counterrevolutionary. Change the objective to the subjective. Make science a religion. Make math a cultural variable. Give the lazy an excuse for failure. Give the entrepreneur a new tax bill. Destroy the cult of the individual. Allow dissention only for the new oppressed, only as the new oppressors. Define the narrative and change definitions frequently. Above all, establish a moral relevancy with no fixed parameters. Remember, Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia.” Obviously, I am fond of that novel. From what I witnessed, no one else is.
It was at this time, that January slowly stood, displaying the physical feebleness of his advancing years. The other rose out of respect. All I heard him say was the order to clear the room. He meant everyone but me. The gathering of the November and the Eleven came to an abrupt conclusion. I expected the private meeting with January to prove advantageous to my burgeoning career. I was wrong; so very wrong.
“In retrospect, I should have listened to your predecessor more. Prior to his demise, he explained the futility of your promotion.” These confusing words clouded all of my judgement except that which required me to listen. “Do you know how the previous November died? Of course not, how could you? I do remember asking you to remain external to the meeting as your last official duty as December. Do you remember honoring my request?” Yes, I did. “As such, I ask one more of you. If I offered you your previous position of December, the position you excelled at, would you accept the offer?” I wanted to immediately answer, but January raised his hand to interrupt. “Before you answer, do not listen, just think. This will be the singular exception to your position. I ask you to think.” Now, I found myself in a quandary. January asked me to accept a demotion back to December. Why should I accept it? I am November. I look forward to being much more. December means returning to a position where I will be until my death. This was my last chance. Today, I am November. Tomorrow, I am November. I respectfully declined January’s offer.
As did he of mine.
The Eleven rarely experience changes; definitely not the Draconian, rarely the subtle. I am a change not to be experienced. November must be good at his position. November must never be great at his position. January explained this to me as the sedative from my water glass took effect. For voting, the Eleven can diverge. My ascension proved this. For action, all must be united. From my cell, June explained the rest while I waited what awaited me. Today, I convinced more than I should. Today, I became more than the Devil’s Advocate. Today, as November, I campaigned successfully to divide the Eleven. Today, as November, I will pay for my crime.
With degrees in Engineering Physics, Chemistry, and Fire Science, Andy Betz has tutored and taught mathematics, chemistry, physics, fire science, and CPR for 30 years. He collects occupations (the current tally is 91) and currently teaches high school (during the day) and college (during the evening). Fairly new to writing, he embraces each opportunity each publication/editor/contest offers. Married for nearly 25 years and currently diverting his kitten from his computer, he enjoys the color green, bad puns, and the entire catalog of the Beatles.