i don't like to talk.
but i don't like going deeper.
to know how not to cry.
i don't have to say "i'm upset"
so in a way i don't have to really be upset.
i like to say my thoughts make sense.
so no one else has to be.
to ensure i won't be disappointed.
somehow, it generally doesn't work.
or maybe someone to copy.
my head is always covered.
i'm god, in a way.
but i can't stop thinking.
This really resonates with me. When I was still in high school, I felt this way constantly. The way you articulated this feeling is wonderful. All I can say is not to worry, and to keep trying to find new ways to bring yourself up instead. Things will get better later on.