Shame, guilt, remorse, fear and lies used to empower me before the Lord brought me close to him. Throughout my childhood years I was verbally abused and physically molested by the one person who all thought would never hurt them. My step father molested me as a child and the enemy fed me lies into believing I was unworthy, disgusting, filthy, and many more negative things. From the age of eight to twelve my step father molested me, which led me to be afraid of men and trusting others. I remember at the age of I said to myself " I will carry all these secrets till my death for I fill dirty and too ashamed to tell anyone." Little did I expect to draw near to God during high school. I fell into drugs and alcohol as a student in high school and came to know of God as a senior.
All glory is given to God for he uses everyone around us to bring the lost to him. I came to know God through my cousin who began to bring me along with her to church. He spoke to my heart through worship and my spirit knew I was in the right place. He began to minister into me as the year progressed and I began to feel his forgiveness. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in one of the church services. Immediately, I felt the chains of my past broken, and God became my hope and strength.
Later on, I was baptized but the day I was submerged under the water God was telling me it was time for me to speak of my past to my mother. I had had enough with hiding this secret from myself and my own mother that I confessed to her what took place in the past. The spirit of God was indeed a great help as I spoke of all the darkness.
"Luke 8:17 - For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither [any thing] hid, that shall not be known and come abroad."
God is so wonderful because as I had accepted Jesus and repented of my sins, God made peace with my past as I forgave the one person who once had brought pain in me. It was so easy forgiving him because Jesus Christ died for our sins. I will not hold anything against anyone anymore because God is love. HE flooded every room of my heart with love that there is no space for unforgiveness. Please brothers and sisters forgive others as God, the Father has forgiven you of your sins.
Jesus is my refuge when the rain begins to pour down. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and you will receive healing. Welcome him to dwell in your hearts for ever and ever. May his grace and mercy be with us at all times.