Hidden Rage and Open Revenge - CREATIVE CONFLICTS!
Let's unpack what is underneath this sense?
Our definitions of what is life, of the world and who we are in it, of what a relationship is, are all part of the mindset that creates our reality. If we are filled with emotions like anger and resentment, these are going to tint the glasses in a special way...shaping the quality of our present life.
Chronic anger is highly visible for the people around us, which respond in turn according to what they perceive. Our negativities and resentments define our relationships with others, even without our conscious participation.
What is resentment? a combination of the emotions and actions and thought patterns resulting from our unresolved anger at a past injustice.
we all have our own. Children have a basically strong sense of what justice is, and they perceive when their basic needs are not solved and upon that, when they are humiliated because being "needy," adding insult to injury.
Those early lessons of how we were inept, not deserving to be loved or helped, stupid, worst than our brothers, and a punishment for our parents, are still will us. They are the fuel under any injustice feeling of today...which just hits on the old wound to reappear now.
The chain of perceived injustice, anger and resentment, leads naturally to revenge. Here is the hidden knot of suppressed anger...if you are so far from your own chronic anger, that you don't recognize it, you could be doing small revenge acts to force the world, only this time to pay attention, to give you the care and appreciation you are missing from ever?
In the grown up world, where we assume that each person knows how to care for herself, this hidden rage, resentment pushing into actions has a short life; and more frustration ensues. If we don't ask, nobody can give us anything, then more frustration (real and present now) develops...what can a good passive aggressive person do now?
"Please, take care of my hidden needs for attention and love, even if I myself can't ask for them and moreover, will never thank you afterwards, or you will suffer the consequences!"
Here you have the hidden transaction of a passive aggressive daily, methodical and relentless revenge mindset. Pretty complex, you'd say? yes, but take the time to soak it in, because it can be the key to unlock so many actions that now surprise you.
At the least, if you take from his hands the "surprise effect," you will have some advantage over your present situation, right?
Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. Visit her blog and signup free to be connected to her innovative conflict solutions, positive suggestions and life-changing coaching sessions, along with blog updates, news, and more! Go now to http://www.creativeconflicts.com.