One ugly duckling of a cartoon. Running time: 75 minutes. Rated G. At the Empire, the Kips Bay, the 64th and 2nd, others.
FODDER for only the most undemanding rugrats, “The Trumpet of the Swan” is a brightly colored but terminally dull cartoon adaptation of E.B. White’s classic 1970 book.
Director Richard Rich, an ex-Disney hack who dumbed down “The King and I” into a animated musical a couple of years back, has been somewhat more respectful of White’s story.
But lacking any real heart or engaging action, it emerges as even more charmless filler destined for a quick trip to the video shelf.
It’s a shame, because there’s a great lesson for kids in the story of a mute trumpeter swan’s triumph over adversity.
Louis (voice of Dee Baker), the swan, is frustrated because he can’t speak and communicate with his peers, particularly the beautiful Serena (Reese Witherspoon).
A sympathetic younger swan named Sam (Sam Gifaldi) takes Louis to school, where his teacher (Carol Burnett) teaches Louis to write on the tiny chalkboard he carries around his neck.
Unfortunately, the other swans can’t read.
But Louis’ blustering father (Jason Alexander, whose annoying vocals wear out their welcome after about 30 seconds) has broken into a music store in Montana and stolen a trumpet for his mute son.
Louis flies off to Boston to earn money to pay for the trumpet, but gets victimized by a crooked agent (Joe Mantegna) until he’s rescued through the efforts of a hipster chipmunk (Gary Anthony Williams).
Mary Steenburgen gives voice to Louis’ mother and Seth Green is his romantic rival for Serena.
But their characters as animated are so one-note the vocals might as well have been provided by anonymous performers.
The animation, executed mostly in Korea, is as flat and lackluster as the half-dozen forgettable songs.