What if you were at a wedding and the Groom was the one that walked down the aisle, instead of the Bride? And what if you were in the wedding, and you thought your role was to be a bridesmaid or groomsman, so that when the Groom came down that aisle you naturally assumed he's there for someone else? But what if, as you step aside, he matches your step? So you think there must be a mistake, some protocol you missed, and you step aside again. Only he matches your step, uncomfortably meeting you face-to-face each time. What if the person he came to marry, came to fetch was you?
Years ago when I worked in the "ministry" realm, I remember walking through John 3, about this guy John the Baptist. He was Jesus' cousin. His role it seemed was to act as a kind of final herald, announcing the coming of his cousin who so happened to be the Son of God. (Which, as I write it, makes me realize how preposterous sounding so much of Christianity really is). In chapter 3, there is a dialogue he has with some other Jews about how it must feel to be outdone by his cousin, and "aren't you jealous?" John's response is, "Is a Best Man jealous when the Groom and Bride finally are brought together and married? My joy is like that, delighting in the marriage, glad to be 2nd string." I often read this as how I should see my "place" in "ministry." And it sounds a humble spot, so noble, so sacrificial, and amongst churchies their number is legion.
Apparently I am not the "Best Man" in this scenario. I am, you are the beloved bride the groom came walking down that metaphorical aisle to marry, love, and cherish, and go the distance with. As a guy the metaphor would seem to be lost, and often is on most men. Somehow, though, it makes sense to me and the less I try and place myself in the 2nd string position, the less I try and dismiss His deep love and intimate movement towards me... the more free I am and the more at ease in my skin, become myself - which ultimately is how a marriage should be.