Here is a chart from Health on ten things to say to someone with depression. They said it far better than I but the last column is my addition to the conversation. There is rarely an explanation for why things don’t work, so I thought it would be helpful to understand that things said in what is thought to be kindness can sometimes be hurtful.
There’s always someone worse off than you are. Why Not: Makes us feel even more worthless.
No one ever said that life was fair. Why Not: Accusatory, we know life isn’t; that’s not the point.
Try not to be so depressed. Why Not: You may think it is helpful, but it is like saying to someone with cancer; stop having cancer.
It’s your own fault. Why Not: Think about it, how is a disease our fault?
Believe me, I know how you feel. I was depressed once for several days. Why Not: Do you really? IF so, than say something from the heart about your experience.
I think your depression is a way of punishing us. Why Not: It is one of our greatest fears that we are punishing not only ourselves but everyone around us. Be supportive not pandering.
Have you tried chamomile tea? Why Not: No thank you, not right now. We need support, therapy and meds, if appropriate, and time to work on our issues and heal.
I think Robin Williams death has made us all more aware of those who deal with depression in our lives. This was very helpful!
Thank you Liz. It is a very important subject, one I hope will not go away after we, as a nation/world, have finished mourning his death. Enteral rest grant onto him.
This is a really wonderful post and extremely helpful! I love how this chart presents everything in an understandable way!!!
Thank you Liz. I always stop by to visit the blogs that visited me, and so I did the same with yours.
So creative! It is clear you have taken whatever lemons you have been given in life and made lemonade. I am a sucker for some sparkle!!!
What a great post, and I loved the addition of your thoughts on WHY these things are inappropriate to say to someone experiencing depression.
Keiko, thank you so much. Visited your site, I will be coming back!