Children learn appropriate behaviour very effectively once they experience the negative consequences of poor choices. Sometimes, though, the consequences negatively affect others and not the child directly so the lessons are not as immediate or clear. To help teach children learn respect, parents can implement logical consequences as a means of discipline. Logical consequences differ from natural consequences, and it is important to discuss them with children and teens as well as follow through with them once such discussions have taken place.
Continuing to bang a drunk will result in the drum being taken away.
Sneaking cake after school will result in no cake after dinner.
Not bringing uniforms to the laundry will result in no clean clothes for school.
Pinching or biting will result in not being able to play with others for a little while.
Watching inappropriate television programmes will result in no TV for a week.
Advise of the behaviour that will have a consequence.
Talk about why the behaviour is a bad choice for the child.
Help the child realise how his or her actions may affect others.
Explain why a consequence will take place following a behaviour.
Clearly state the consequence that the child can experience.
Discuss the time limit on the consequence (for the rest of the day, week, etc).
Implement the consequence immediately following a child’s next bad decision.
Use consistency so that children know a consequence will always occur and not chance it.
Remind a child why the consequence is necessary every time it is implemented.
Teenagers who have never experienced the logical consequences of bad decisions will be less likely to make good decisions than those who have. In fact, teens who have never experienced logical consequences may believe that their actions don’t matter and/or that someone else will always be around to fix their mistakes and make sure their lives aren’t complicated by their own actions. For such teens, allowing natural consequences to result from their behaviours is a good first step. Once they understand that their actions will have consequences, then parents may want to implement logical consequences of their own much as they would with younger children. Of course if a teen’s choices might harm him or her or anyone else then parents must step in and stop it immediately.
Logical consequences teach children respect and discipline because they allow children to very clearly understand the relationship between their decisions and the consequences they suffer. Logical consequences are distinct from natural consequences, but both work very effectively to encourage appropriate behaviour in children and teens.