We're sorry to report that there's something fishy about those dials.
It's very easy in the echo chamber of watch enthusiast communities, as well as on the brand side, and indeed in the luxury industry in general, to forget that every one of our purchases and indeed, every one of our endorsements and opinions, has repercussions which reverberate far beyond the comfortable world in which we transact our businesses, enjoy our watches (and fine wines, expensive motorcars, and other appurtenances of la Dolce Vita). We at HODINKEE, however, have realized as we have grown both as a business, and as, we like to think, an arbiter of horological taste and a member of the larger horological community, that we have a responsibility as well – a responsibility to act, if we can, as a sort of conscience – a Jiminy Cricket, if you will – for enthusiast and brand executive alike.
Thus, it is with a sense of profound urgency that we must call both the industry and the community's attention to a matter of, we think, great interest and also great concern.
Would you buy it in Coho Gold?
In recent years, we have all become aware of the burgeoning popularity of so-called salmon dials. We at HODINKEE understand and sympathize deeply with the desire to see more, and ever more, of these exquisitely colored dials, which have a warmth and expressive splendor both on and off the wrist, not easily found in any other dial. But with this exploding appetite, comes a consequence which we believe few have considered. Salmon dials, after all, don't appear in a vacuum by some miracle, nor do they grow on trees. Le vrai cadran de Saumon, indeed, has always come from the sleek and almost erotically compelling form of the various species of Salmonidae, and thereby hangs our sad tale of the decline of this noble fish, celebrated for centuries in story and song, for the sake of satisfying the tastes of, yes, watch enthusiasts.
Is it any less morally culpable in Sockeye Steel?
In the early days of watchmaking, when salmon – no, Salmon – dials were first produced (the first Salmon dial is thought to have been produced around the 13th century, for the famous Salmon Dial astronomical cathedral clock, in the Belgian city of Liège) they were rarities, and salmon stocks so abundant that production little affected the salmon themselves, in their teeming millions. And even in later times, when as history tells us, great ships with their holds groaning with salmon brought their cargo to the legendary Fabrique de Cadrans à Saumon in the mighty and ancient port of Le Havre (during the heyday of French horology, in the late Renaissance) it seemed that this essential resource could never be exhausted. But today, industrialized fishing and industrialized dial production methods have resulted in so vast a production of these formerly rare dials, that salmon populations world-wide teeter on the brink of irrevocable collapse.
Sure, we could sell out this pink gold salmon dial limited edition, priced at $75,000, in 37 seconds but we here at HODINKEE have principles.
We appeal, therefore, in the strongest terms to both industry and enthusiast alike: Stop the madness. True, serious enthusiasts will only accept Salmon dials made from real salmon, but we can no longer ignore the consequences of our untrammeled and indeed, ugly and indefensible appetites. We demand immediate devotion of all available resources to the creation of a suitable synthetic subsititute – perhaps, genetically engineered E-Coli bacteria may be created which can produce the requisite organic pigments – and urge all readers to consider the alarming facts contained in the report: Monterey Bay Aquarium White Paper: Landlocked Pathologically Secretive European Nation Is Harming Ocean Fish Stocks, Somehow?
Let the world know you want to CAN THE SALMON.
Furthermore, we at HODINKEE will not simply stand by on the sidelines calling for action from others. We call upon industry leaders and readers alike to join our initiative, CAN THE SALMON. Every purchase of a HODINKEE limited edition priced above $100,000 will result in a not-yet-specified percentage of the full retail price being donated to the CAN THE SALMON Foundation, headquartered in Geneva and privately held, the better to reach, and indeed, resonate with, our desired audience in the watch industry. You'll receive, absolutely free, a HODINKEE baseball cap proudly carrying the logo of the CAN THE SALMON Foundation, to proclaim to all and sundry your support not merely of incredibly expensive watches, but of sustainable industry practices as well. Join us, and help CAN THE SALMON today.
This post sponsored by A Salmon. No salmon were harmed in the production of this article. Seriously though, we should all probably try to eat less charismatic megafauna. Living beings and watches can coexist. This article is satire and salmon dials are not actually made of salmon (but don't get us started on panda dials).