Joshua Coburn — Am I Kind Enough...and Do I have to Remain Anonymous?
Am I Kind Enough...and Do I have to Remain Anonymous?
The 3 Biggest Kindness Questions, Answered!
Am I kind enough? Do I go out of my way to make someone’s day special? Do I think kindness should always be anonymous? These are all questions I asked myself recently when making the decision to focus on committing random acts of kindness for others. If you’ve struggled with these same questions, I got your back! Read on and lets do this together!
This question plagued me for a long time. Once upon a time I found myself a bit down in the dumps and started to realize I was focusing too much on myself and how I feel. Coming to this realization got me excited to do more for others. Sure I would pay for lunches for couples anonymously or compliment people regularly…but was this enough?
I have no idea what is considered “kind enough” but I realized that the more I did for others the better I felt inside, the more excited I was to do more for others, and the more I realized that I was healing myself. Today I no longer ask if I am kind enough. Now I ask what more can I do and I feel great!
Do I go out of my way to make someone’s day special?
I questioned this because I found myself doing little things like paying for someone’s coffee at the drive through or leaving a dozen donuts on the counter at a convenience store for those in line behind me to grab for free. I knew this was a kind gesture, but was I going out of my way for others? It just seemed like I was doing something while it was convenient for me to do it. This got me thinking, is this OK?
I came to the conclusion that yeah, that is OK. It’s OK to do nice things as you are living your day to day life. Just think of all the fun things you can do for others when it is part of your routine! Not only that, this realization allowed me to focus on doing kind acts that are “out of my way” on a more regular basis. No, I don’t visit juvenile detention centers to inspire the youth there regularly, nor do I deliver a massive sack of stuffed animals to the children’s hospital weekly- but now that I am more aware of the difference between going "out of my way" and kindness "day to day" I am planning on doing those things more.
Do I think kindness should always be anonymous?
No, no I don’t. This may be a controversial opinion but here is why. If we adults are not leading by example, are not sharing good news, and are not providing a positive role model for our youth, then who? This includes acts of kindness. I struggled with this a bit in the beginning but it occurred to me that I could reach and inspire more people by sharing the good deeds I did with others rather than keeping it anonymous.
Do I need the glory? Nah, that is not important to me at all though some will say it is. That said; I do want to shed light on the acts of kindness I, and others, do for two reasons.
Reason number one, the more people that know you are doing good things the more likely they are to do the same. By others doing the same this creates a kinder world for all of us rather than just one person doing one good thing. Just think of all the greatness that you can inspire by sharing your good deeds for others. Besides, if I can help others realize how good it feels to do good for others I certainly would like to do so.
Reason number two, the excuse I hear most often from people for not doing random acts of kindness is that they aren’t sure if it is worth it or if the act of kindness is being paid forward. Is it worth it? Heck yeah it is, it feels good to make others feel good, not only that but when you are putting good into the world chances are that some good will come back to you from the world too. Also, if you are sharing your good deeds others will share theirs and so on. You may not be seeing that the recipient of your kindness is paying it forward but you must ask yourself if it is enough to know that you’ve inspired others to commit random acts of kindness as well.
Kindness, it’s a good thing any way you can give it. Do what you can do to make lives better whether you feel like you are doing enough, whether you are going out of your way, or whether you are doing it anonymously or not. What is important is that there are kind people out there doing kind things for others. If that is you, don’t question your kindness, just keep it up!