Being dogged is a good thing, at least in the sense I mean it. To me, “dogged” means “having a dog”, and I’ve been dogged for almost all of my almost 74 years.
The first dog was Smoky. He was a black Lab/mystery rescue. I don’t remember much about him, partly because he was only with us a few weeks before running away, partly because I was just a little kid when he was with us. Then we/I had, in order, Lassie, Timmy, Sandy, Arnold, Arthur, Igor, Zelda, Linus, Gonja, Sammy, Casey, Dooley, Nick, Remmy, Missy and Rosie. If you keep reading this blog, you’ll learn about every one of these four-footed blessings. But we’ll start with Lassie.
Restaurants and breweries in Historic Biltmore Village have come together to create a new and unique event. Two local breweries and 8 local restaurants have joined together to promote ”Beer, Bites, and Bands” to be held April 4 & 5 from 5:00 PM – 10:00 PM at the two brewery locations.
The Asheville Community Children's Chorus will be holding auditions starting March 27 - April 6th in search of new members. The chorus is open to any/all children living in/around the Asheville community, who are ages 9-14, and have an interest in singing. The Asheville Community Children's Chorus puts on concerts of their own throughout the year and also provides many performance opportunities for its members around our community.
There are a million love songs. From Donna Summers I Feel Love to The Lion King’s Can you Feel the Love Tonight, they all remind us that when love is present, it is palpable. So I’m willing to agree that love is a feeling. The problem is love felt, but not expressed, is not enough. I wrote on Week One that we need to figure out how we want to be loved. If your partner loves you madly, but treats you badly, is that really love? This is where the fourth Principle of Loving comes in: Love is Good Will in Action. If you want to love someone more, do nice things for them, keeping in mind what they would like to receive from you. If you want some one to love you more, allow them to do nice things for you.
Victor Baranco said it another way, “Love is the willingness to see yourself through all of another person's viewpoints.” And here’s the love myth. That someone out there is the perfect person for us, in every way. Their bumps will fit our grooves, and we will live happily, lovingly ever after. We believe that true love sees us as we wish to see ourselves. Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows this isn’t true. Our “soul mates” stick their thumbs in every sore spot we have. We are attracted to the people who have the things we lack, and then resent them for it. They mirror back our shadows, and also call us to live into our highest selves.This can be very uncomfortable!
The next time you find yourself not liking someone very much, you can re-connect to your love for them by remembering that love is good will in action. More on what that might look like when we get the skills of loving.
What are your thoughts? Do these principles inform your relationships?
Next time: The last principle, Love is a response to need.
On Friday, March 14th, Asheville welcomes the uproariously funny stand-up Comedian Jarrod Harris in downtown Asheville for Funny Business at The Millroom’s comedy series for shows at 7:00pm and 9:30pm. Jarrod is the former writer for the hit web series ‘Action Figure Therapy,’ and also was the voice of “Jungle” on the series.