What book could be finer than one which teaches processes of logic and thought?
What could be a finer gift to youth, now beset by slanted and dangerous influences, than an exposition of communist tricks; and proof that Capitalism is the true course for human advancement?
What finer gift could be presented to every motorist than an outline which, when followed, can eliminate the litter from our highways and parks; which can greatly improve highway safety and design; which can bring true glareless night driving, and a multitude of other motorcar improvements?
The above comes from Russell T. Wing's characteristically immodest blurb to his book, which is with equally characteristic eccentricity printed on its endpapers, an innovation he boasts of as "a new trend in book construction". Having had some notable successes as an inventor Wing saw himself as a prophet and trailblazer whose words would be worthy of the world's attention.
The world chose to take a different view, possibly because he decided to express himself in verse, a difficult medium at best, and not one commonly used to advocate improvements in motor car design. The overlap between readers of poetry and those interested in engineering is a small one. This may be a regrettable state of affairs, but it is an enduring one.
Wing was an engineer and inventor whose career reached a peak in 1940 when he patented a new ink feed mechanism for the fountain pen. This was taken up by the Parker Pen company and it brought him a generous income for the time, as evidenced in a court case he brought against the Inland Revenue. With such a success behind him you might expect he would be a contented soul but on the evidence of this book that was not the case - perhaps to have an inventive nature demands constant dissatisfaction with the state of things.
The very first poem in this volume sets the tone. Titled "Pirates and Progress", it starts with an accusation against the U.S. government of stealing one of Wing's ideas, for a helicopter design that he submitted in 1917. I am no expert in this field but it seems the unique feature of Wing's design was that of coaxial rotor blades - by no means an original idea to him, at least according to Wikipedia's page on the topic.
saw mine in trust and bond.
reward for what is mine.
His vision of the future of motor transport is remarkable, if not entirely on the money.
may even have a "lav".
of blowout or of flat.
a million miles, at that.
which never cracks or peels.
The car of the future will also have neither front nor back, being able to travel equally well in either direction, it'll have a non-polluting super-efficient motor "in the treads", and headlamps on its roof. The driver's seat will swivel to face the direction of travel, though how this will work when there are passengers on board is not explained. He does mention that the seats "convert to beds" so perhaps any passengers have to remain horizontal so as not to obstruct the field of view.
The only things stopping this marvel being a reality are apparently the dual curses of taxation and patent law.
poor chance of getting far.
yet never have there been two flakes alike.
yet all deserve to grow with equal right.
rewards will follow for achievements made.
and government-competing must not be.
Wing, being an ardent anti-communist (this volume also contains an ode to McCarthyism), probably never read Morris and would have violently rejected any such comparison.
If Reasonism does not appeal perhaps Wing's next wizard wheeze would be more to your taste? He had observed the unedifying tendency for motorists to litter the highways, and came up with his own eminently practical solution.
Nature clubs and automobile clubs might offer a promising service and a worthy "game" to their members by conducting a Rule of the Road campaign.
Upon the purchase of a given number of kits or upon the approval for outstanding service, an honorary plaque could be won.
Let all receipts be applied to further the cause. The results could be very interesting.
* Permssion granted on request.
The stanzas in question come from another lengthy piece of doggerel, this time with the worthy aim of getting people to take their litter home with them.
The Golden Rule of man.
and gather more than mine.
Stirring stuff, and it is truly a wonder that none were inspired to take up the cause. A bag with those words printed on would just shriek "I am a better person than you" and isn't that what we all want for ourselves?
yn playng uizt yt, zte mor skyll uwn uyll gct.
"Hui dydn't ue uz Xlfonct lqng aago?"
This is not Wing's only assault on the conventionalities of typography: he also has a go at punctuation in a short piece with the intriguing title of "Midget Pitfalls". Punctuation marks as traditionally printed are too small, he avows, and they should be much larger to reduce the risk of confusion, and indeed throught the book this rule is followed, giving it a slightly odd look. No social evil is too petty for Wing's consideration, evidently.
for minds to trip upon!
the fates that long beset our door.
when guided by Uncommon Sense!