Never think that you've wasted months or years in a relationship or a job or some other situation that didn't turn out the way you had hoped. You are always exactly where you are supposed to be. No experience is ever wasted.
My son got married a few weeks ago. However, what should have been a weekend of unadulterated delight was filled with moments of sadness. Not because I don't like his new wife or because I'm estranged from my son -- no, I was unhappy because my ex-husband invited his girlfriend.
Your letter is not about your ex being a d*ck. If he were a d*ck, you would have stopped thinking about him by now. But you are thinking about him. Almost a year later, and you're reaching out to me, too. You said you shouldn't be thinking about him though. Has someone told you that? Often our friends do.
I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. The body-numbing, time-stopping, paralyzing feeling of hearing your spouse say they are no longer in love with you. It seemed my worst fears had come true; he'd fallen in love with someone else and wanted a divorce.
Life does that, it patiently waits for you to catch up with it, always reminding us that it is also short. There may not always be a tomorrow. Stop saying I will do that when.... Or I will be better when... start living your life. Don't make life wait patiently on you.
Im Angela, the creator of She Went Wear.
I'm Not Moving On From. I'm Moving On With.
I have family and friends whom I love and care for, multiple work responsibilities, and personal and professional aspirations for the future. I want and need to be able to continue. So, yes, I move on - not from, but with my brother. Moving on with him gives me a chance to live.
Life is truly what you make of it. Your post-divorce life can be anything you want it to be, you are only limited by your belief, and your attitude towards it.
Did it ever happen to you to sit at a table in the food court at the mall, having lunch with your friends, and when you leave the table to buy an ice cream, you discover that you have zero money left in your wallet?
We don't really have the capacity to hold on to every unfavorable situation that is bound to come our way. But if we choose courage, we may be able to arrive at a place we never thought we would reach.
Just small samples at first, until I get you hooked on the power of it. You jones for the moment you can use your no on someone or something. Then that moment happens. Someone asks for something you are just not feeling like giving right then. And no takes over and it spills out of you. Elation and joy ensues. You are hooked and I'm on to the next corner of yessers.
People often ask me how it is that I can be quite so ok. The wonder how it is that since the sudden and very painful break down of my marriage, my ex and I are still friends. They seem amazed that I don't harbor any hatred or anger towards what happened. Here are my reasons.
Endings are complicated. It is difficult to deal with why something that once felt so good went south. But when you are faced with this circumstance, you will figure out what is the best way to handle all the mementos that you accumulated during the relationship.
Had I been able to discuss this decision with my closest friend when she could still discuss such matters with me, I think that Clare would have said that I should do whatever "feels right" to me. This decision to keep on writing about Alzheimer's issues, at least for the next few months, feels right to me.
All of us have wounds. People who have hurt us, even broken us. For the most part I've healed and moved on from those that have caused me heartache and pain. But every now and then a scar is reopened and I experience a moment of temporary insanity.