Another composition to be corrected. My task today is about sleeping time.
Please post your comments and sugestions.
After a long day of work no one is free of get tired and the necessity to rest. Sleep is not just an option, it´s a physiological neediness. All mammals being need to sleep for a specific period of time at night, during the day or mixing the sleep time between night and day for those who spend the night hunting or being hunted. During this period of rest our body is working like some equipments in “sleep mode” the functioning of the organs and systems are minimized even our brain activity is reduced. Our entire body is steel working but in a different way, some functions only happen while sleeping.
This period of sleeping vary according to age, babies spend almost the entire 24 hours of the day sleeping, some kids although seems needless to sleep due to their reluctance of go to bed, they need to sleep at least 9 hours a day. The average of sleeping time for adults is about 7 hours. Despite the fact that the fast paced environment in which we live nowadays requires our precious time, have a quality sleeping time is beneficial for our minds and bodies in many ways improving our concentration, memory capacity and our mood.
Teenagers must be aware about the effects of spending all night long studying for that final exam. The result in the next morning is irritability, lack of confidence and barely be able to remember the topic that has just been studied. Sleep is the time when the neurons are repaired and take some rest. They are the interconnections in brain responsible to carry out voluntary and involuntary commands as well the memory capacity which therefore, affects the learning process.
There are also problems of oversleeping though. It has been linked to problems related such as depression, diabetes and hart diseases. Studies have showed the connection between oversleeping and obesity. What is really important is to take into consideration each one activity level, general health and lifestyle habits to get all the essential and good benefits of our sleep time.
I've highlighted a few things for you to fix.
After a long day of work no one is free of get tired and the necessity to rest. Sleep is not just an option, it´s a physiological neediness. All mammals being need to sleep for a specific period of time at night, during the day or mixing the sleep time between night and day for those who spend the night hunting or being hunted. During this period of rest our body is working like some equipments in “sleep mode” -- the functioning of the organs and systems are minimized; even our brain activity is reduced. Our entire body is steel working but in a different way, some functions only happen while sleeping.
This period of sleeping vary according to age, babies spend almost all the entire 24 hours of the day sleeping. Some kids although seems needless to sleep due to their reluctance of go to bed, they need to sleep at least 9 hours a day. The average of sleeping time for adults is about 7 hours. Despite the fact that the fast paced environment that demands our time in which we live nowadays requires our precious time, have a quality sleeping time is beneficial for our minds and bodies in many ways improving our concentration, memory capacity and our mood.
Some other guys have pointed out some mistakes which I have already corrected. But you are showing me some different points. So let´s see if I can mend they.
After a long day of work no one is free of immune from get getting tired and the necessity need to rest. Sleep is not just an option, it´s a physiological neediness. All mammals being need to sleep for a specific period of time at night, during the day or mixing the sleep time between night and day for those who spend the night hunting or being hunted. During this period of rest our body is working like some equipments in “sleep mode” the functioning of the organs and systems are minimized even our brain activity is reduced. Our entire body is steel still working but in a different way, some functions only happen while sleeping.
This period of sleeping sleep vary varies according to age, babies spend almost all (?) the entire 24 hours of the day sleeping (?). Some kids although seems needless to sleep due to their reluctance of go to bed, they need to sleep at least 9 hours a day. The average of sleeping time for adults is about 7 hours. Despite the fact that the fast paced environment that demands our time in which we live nowadays requires our precious time, have a quality sleeping time is beneficial for our minds and bodies in many ways improving our concentration, memory capacity and our mood.
There are also problems of oversleeping though. It has been linked to problems related such as depression, diabetes and hart heart diseases. Studies have showed the connection between oversleeping and obesity. What is really important is to take into consideration each one activity level, general health and lifestyle habits to get all the essential and good benefits of our sleep time.
I still have some doubts and I´d like you give me more some tips how to fix them.
Could you cross out the red words you are fixing? Thanks.
This period of sleeping vary varies according to age, babies spend almost all (?) the entire 24 hours of the day sleeping (?). Some kids although seems needless to sleep due to their reluctance of go to bed, they need to sleep at least 9 hours a day. The average of sleeping time for adults is about 7 hours. Despite the fact that the fast paced environment that demands our time in which we live nowadays requires our precious time, have a quality sleeping time is beneficial for our minds and bodies in many ways improving our concentration, memory capacity and our mood.
Teenagers must be aware about of the effects of spending all night long studying for that final exam. The result in the next morning is irritability, lack of confidence and barely be being able to remember the topic that has just been studied. Sleep is the time when the neurons are repaired and take some rest. They are the interconnections in the brain responsible to carry out voluntary and involuntary commands as well the memory capacity which therefore, affects the learning process (?).
I´m still confused with the other mistakes that you underlined.
Could you give me some more help?
Sleep is the time when the neurons are repaired and take some rest. They are the interconnections in the brain responsible to carry out voluntary and involuntary commands as well ____ the memory capacity which therefore, affects the learning process (?).