‘Saying there are risks associated with formula feeding is like saying vaccines cause Autism’.
It’s kind of bizarr-o land.
Most of the breastfeeding advocacy community is not. With the exception of some fringe members who really, we probably all wish would shut up.
There is no more shame implied in saying breastmilk is better than formula than there is implied in saying Penicillin is better than Erythromycin.
The breastfeeding advocacy that you feel surrounded by right now is in place for a reason. It is push back against generations of programming manipulated by for profit formula companies that have created a culture that no longer understand breastfeeding. It is important work, because even now there is a large percentage of women who are given bad advice and stop breastfeeding when they don’t want to and actually cannot afford to.
There are women in your community who are not eating so they can buy formula. Women who were 100% able to breastfeed, but their hospital nurse insisted baby use formula for some reason and baby would not go back to the breast. Or their mother insisted there was ‘something wrong with the baby’ because the baby wanted milk so often, and the new mother felt she had ‘no choice’ but to switch to formula.
There are women in your community who are heartbroken because they ‘could not breastfeed’ and live with that sadness the rest of their lives when in fact, with the right information and support, they could.
I want to break down some of these responses – and they are by far and away not all the responses I’ve seen on breastfeeding advocate posts but they are a good sampling of them.
If you chose to breastfeed from the start, I’d like to assume you did so with all the facts. We all make risk-benefit assessments on a day to day basis and we don’t all choose the same thing. I won’t ever ride a motorcycle because I believe the risks are too high. Saying so does not shame those who ride motorcycles. You aren’t the target of breastfeeding advocate posts, you’ve already made your choice. You need to get behind your own decision and stop feeling defensive about it. Accept that there are scientifically proven benefits to breastmilk and that you chose not to use it and that’s still a good choice. As my dad always said to me – nobody can make you feel anything, you choose your own feelings. So choose to be proud of your choice because you are a good parent feeding your baby.
I made my own risk-benefit assessment of formula with each of my three babies and each of them have formula at different stages in their lives. I don’t see how laying out the facts and the risks makes me a hypocrite. I am not adding an unwritten ‘you are a bad mom for using formula’ so I don’t see how I am a hypocrite. If you look at the actual words and not what you think they imply, there is no grounds to call me a hypocrite. I have no shame, guilt, or remorse about my babies having formula. You don’t need to either.
You are definitely one of the target groups for breastfeeding advocacy. Not to make you feel bad (most moms don’t actually want to make other moms feel bad, to be honest) but in case you want to have more children, or you want to support a friend who is breastfeeding, or you want to work in the healthcare field and support breastfeeding. You were given misinformation and breastfeeding advocacy aims to stop that. And I’m pissed off for you too. And for my friends who were also given misinformation.
It’s always a good practice in life to listen to what people say or read what people type as opposed to looking for hidden messages. When we look for the hidden message our inner critic comes out and they are almost negative. There is no judgement in sharing breastmilk vs. formula facts, and since there is no judgement, there is no shaming. But interesting that you in turn specifically try to shame people sharing facts.
Mama, I hear you. I couldn’t breastfeed my first and it felt like all my best laid plans, hopes and dreams were torn apart. I know it hurts. Don’t read breastfeeding advocacy posts. They will hurt you and you deserve better. But please understand that breastfeeding advocacy is very important and we have to keep doing it.
‘You *say* you aren’t judging parents who formula feed, but we all know you are’.
Read the post again. Facts are not feelings and feelings are not facts.
This one I actually agree with … if by ‘exactly like’ you mean ‘the complete opposite.’ One has been scientifically proven true, and one has been scientifically proven false. This kind of comment is simply written to throw fuel on a fire.
So why is breastfeeding advocacy so important?
because hospital nurses are still saying ‘give him formula until our milk comes in’ even though they know that the baby does not need it and that there is a serious risk of baby never going back to the breast. Misinformation.
because women are still telling stories of how they broke down gave formula because ‘my baby was starving at 3 days old’ when in fact babies are not starving at 3 days old because they are biologically programmed to only need colostrum. babies nurse a lot in those early days not because they are starving but because they are telling mama’s body it’s time to start making milk. Often these women were told by a doctor, nurse, or a few family members that their baby was starving. Misinformation.
because women are still surprised when they use formula and their baby cannot digest it. Then they have to move to extremely expensive sensitive tummy formula or goats milk formula or prescription formula (that can run over $50 for a can that lasts just a few days) and it’s far too late for them to get their breastmilk back. Many of these women were told by their health team that formula would be just fine for their baby. Misinformation.
because women who have IV and other interventions at birth often give birth to babies with inflated birth weight due to the IV fluids. These babies very often lose more than the recommended 10% of their birth weight because of the IV fluids and do not need supplementation. Nurses know this, and they recommend formula anyway. Misinformation.
because too many women that want to breastfeed don’t, too many women are hurting, too many women are starving so they can buy formula, and it’s all so that big formula companies can pull a profit.
There will be more breastfeeding advocacy around you. Try to see it for what it is, and who the target is. The goal is not to shame mothers who use formula, the goal is to fight for future mothers who want to breastfeed and to fight against the propaganda spread by formula companies. Until the stories stop, until the misinformation stops, the advocacy cannot stop. You could even come along and help, in the spirit of respecting all women’s decisions.
*please note I don’t actually have any information on Penicillin vs. Erythromycin. I’m making an analogy. If you’ve read the entire post and feel you need to argue with me about the antibiotics, you’ve missed the point.