Make sure your pores are clear of gunk with some extra goth pore strips from Boscia. While you’re waiting for it to work its magic, anxiously flick through the dresses in your closet and figure out what whispers, “Edwardian”, and decide on a black pleated dress you go from ASOS for only $35 a few months ago.
Celebrate finding an outfit without breaking into hives or panic sweat by cranking up one of your primping time playlists, which features generous amounts of Erasure and Elvis Crespo. Quickly catch a case of Bieber Fever with your fake bangs and capture the magic on camera to share with your friends later.
Refocus! Briefly consider reviving your Film Noir lipstick habit, but nix it in favor of thick eyeliner instead. Talk your blonde friend into going white blonde, because you secretly love white blondes – they are like magical unicorns walking among us!
It all finally comes together, and you watch this tall-drink-of-water perform, even though it means standing in heels that didn’t end up being as comfortable as you initially thought when you bought them. Side-eye the powers that be who decided to cut their set short, but allow other ho-hum acts to go on foreverrrrr.
Hang out with a few incredible broads, laughing, drinking and dreaming of the moment you finally find yourself nestled in a booth at Canter’s stuffing your face with potato pancakes. Get home at about 5:30 in the morning, but still manage to drag yourself into work a few hours later. Your fatigue making you temporarily forget that everyone else seems to have the day off, hmmph, but it’s okay because someone refilled the candy bowls with good candy.
I don’t know what I enjoy more – the actual going out or the process of getting ready to go out. I guess it’s like a social biathlon (or some other appropriate sporty term) and you need to engage in all parts with vigor, (hot glue) guns blazing.
Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna just take a little rest here and recharge my batteries for next time.