Poison frontmanBret Michaels has twice failed to find love among bunches of bleached, leathered, pierced and painted strippers at a Hollywood Hills mansion (every rose has her thorns, after all), so the dreamy hair god has taken his search to more realistic environs -- the road. And the road leads to Hagerstown.
"The Rock of Love Bus Tour" hits Hagerstown Wednesday, the Associated Press reported. Michaels plans to play Hager Hall after canceling or postponing dates in Chicago, Richmond and Knoxville, Tenn., because of laryngitis.
I wonder how he got it? And I hope he finds someone to give it to in Hagerstown. I can't think of a better place in the area -- outside of Jaxx in West Springfield, of course -- for this '80s icon to find his true piece.
Michaels' third season of "Love," which inspired this tour, has him tailed by two bus loads of groupies who must jump through hoops to prove they can handle life on the road. Just screams "Hepatitis!" don't it?
And don't forget, after this lewd and lascivious tour comes to an end, Michaels will be back out on the road with Poison and an all-star lineup of hair including Cheap Trick and Def Leppard. That show rolls through Nissan Pavilion on July 12.