Thank You for injecting Your delicious gift so deeply once again Sir.
Sweet dreams Master. submissively and obediently Yours for always in all ways.
“So, how was your fun weekend away?” “So much fun! i was such a good girl, He told me so, a bunch!” Grinning from ear to ear, my tummy flipped as I thought back over our time away. Remembering how much i pleased Daddy Sir, being His girl He expected and told me He needed me to be. “But he didn’t mean he EXPECTED this and that of you??” I looked at her with a small grin on my face, not knowing what to say, so I said nothing at all. Here I was finding myself yet again, wondering why I answer a simple question and find judgement on the other side. Biting my tongue numerous times before uttering the words, my Daddy or Sir, forgetting briefly who i am speaking to. What comes so natural to me is required to be censored and i despise that.
Ah yes, that less than understanding tone coming from a special friend who only wants to see me happy. She sees my glow, my giddy little girl inside exhuming from within, but she can’t relate. i can hear it now, “you did what because He told you to?!” I refrained from sharing once again, holding it in. Being a good little girl is what makes me happy, pleasing and serving my DS as He sees fit. Seeing that warm genuine smile upon His face, knowing that i put it there by being and doing what is expected, means everything to me. It is one of the biggest parts of being a sub that other females just cannot comprehend and that’s ok.
i have lived that life of a “happy wife makes a happy life”, but that was never accomplished. My control was all that mattered. Pleasing me was what i thought was right. So how come it felt all wrong? i never knew all that was missing. That deep down to be controlled, led, encouraged, held up and protected is what i truly needed and was missing in order for me to submit. Now i am the one who cannot fathom being a controlling wife, a spoiled woman who doesn’t receive discipline and have consequences, or thrive and desire them.
His constant control and invasion of my mind keeps me in a state of knowing Who i belong to. Every part of me is His, to do with what He pleases, as He chooses always in all ways.