On a recent trip, I spoke with a woman who shared while we waited to travel that she had retired from one field and was currently working in another field before being able to fully retire. She was well spoken, engaging, and well dressed, though she appeared weary. She limped onto our vehicle and as everyone settled in for the trip, we all took seats separately as the cabin was rather empty. She sat behind me. I heard her make several phone calls. The first conveyed that she was in the middle of managing a legal situation. After multiple requests, her representative apparently came on the line. The woman gently and in an assuring manner (yes she was assuring the lawyer) dealt with this representative who appeared to be stalling on action on her behalf. The next call was to the person who might have been scheduled to pick her up once we reached our destination. Again gently, she discussed that person’s problems for the day and again repeated her anticipated time of arrival. The third call was striking. She called someone who required that she repeat the same information multiple times, that she assure the person that what the person was envisioning was not so, that she promise to deal with the imagined situation when they saw one another and on and on. She was a resource to every person she spoke to, even the lawyer who was supposed to work on her behalf.
As I reflected upon what I’d heard, I hoped that the woman had her own resource network and I wondered. Did she have someone who spoke to her in gentle reassuring terms? Did she have anyone to just pick her up from travel without the need for her comforting? Did she have anyone who would look after or care for her should she become emotionally or neurologically unable to care for herself? Further, would she even chose to have a massage or to have quiet moments to herself? With all she appeared to handle, had she “lost herself” in the process? It is amazing what you can read into a situation without knowing the facts. The truth is that while I do not know what I supposed to be the full truth, the questions engendered are no less important. These should be considered by all of us as we stand in our own reality.
Who is…and what do you believe should be…in your resource network?
What services do you need to keep on top of your health?
When is it time to discharge a person who should be serving as your resource (lawyer, doctor, trainer or other) because they are no longer responding to your needs?
If you care for others, or if you are over taxed at work or home, do you ever allow yourself downtime?
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