It is really hard to be a performance coach. It takes care and skill to engage performance issues effectively. It involves huge amounts of personal energy. And I believe that’s what leaders need to do: We need to hold ourselves accountable first AND help others improve. Yes, we’re human and have a right to feel frustrated, disappointed and angry with unmet expectations. However, look in the mirror first. Remember our best outcome is to coach others to higher performance.
“1 .Take a breath (that’s the four seconds part). Slow yourself down for the briefest of pauses — just enough time to subvert your default reaction. In that moment, notice your gut reaction. How do you tend to handle poor performance? Do you get angry? Stressed? Needy? Distant? Your role is to give people what they need to perform, not what you need to release.
2. Decide on the outcome you want and be specific. What does this particular person need in order to turn around this particular poor performance or failure? Maybe it’s help defining a stronger strategy, or brainstorming different tactics, or identifying what went right. Maybe they need to know you trust them and you’re on their side. But here’s what people almost never need: to feel scared or punished. And more often than not, that’s how we make them feel when we ‘hold them accountable’ in anger.
One Millennial View: We’re probably not all lucky enough to work for bosses that are also perfect leaders. But that doesn’t mean we should stop taking notes. Even poor bosses can teach us through bad example, so when we may reach leadership positions, we can model ourselves differently… Bully bosses and “mutes” can be discouraging, but I don’t think we should allow them to shut us down. Like any other relationship in life, it’s about learning and developing tastes and standards. Learn from the duds. What does your boss do that you like? What don’t they do? As our careers progress, we can take that model and keep puzzling together the most ideal fit in a leader, which in turn will hopefully form a successful team and working atmosphere.