How do we support them in engaging and exploring ways to push at life’s boundaries without high-risk or bad outcomes?
Information that might be under the radar of a limit-setter is then more likely to be on the radar of an enabler who has no coercive power.
So how do we support young people to explore, seek out and create new experiences that stimulate their senses, emotions, thinking and bodies in new and challenging ways and keep them safe? How do we support them in engaging and exploring ways to push at life’s boundaries without high-risk or bad outcomes?
The age old argument between what is better… the young person who is allowed to do whatever they want without any boundaries or those whose carers hover above them at every moment. Well, like everything, moderation is the answer.
While too much freedom can be harmful and place a young person at risk, too much restriction can limit their development and create unnecessary resistance.
We all know of cases of young people who continue putting themselves at high risk; absconding from home, substance use, and criminal behaviour. They often escalate this risk until they are contained in one way or another. When provided with clear, predictable and consistent boundaries, these young people are also the ones that tend to respond really well.
Alternatively, but as common, is the young person who has boundaries placed on them that disallow any freedom to explore, leading them to engage in high-risk behaviours in secret such as substance use. This presents just as many concerns. Any measures to keep them safe are hindered by not knowing what they are doing. When given some freedom and understanding about the concerns people have, these young people will often be more open and honest about their behaviours.
Understanding that change and transition involves risk, the focus then must be on how to remove extreme and unnecessary risk and manage others.
Sometimes these needs are met through one person but often they can be met through two different but complimentary roles that both have shared goals for the young person - safety, health & well-being, and future prospects.
This is the relationship that involves the setting of limits that regulate the experiences of the young person. They provide structure, containment and a clear set of rules that a young person can test out and define themselves against.
Young people seldom have a choice who their Limit-setters are.
The limit-setting role is usually undertaken by parents, carers or those responsible for maintaining healthy and safe shared spaces. In out-of-home care this is often a foster or residential carer or child protection worker.
These relationships enable a young person to express and develop their own identity and pursue their interests. They provide useful information, support and guidance during this time and facilitate learning through opening up opportunities for new experience and helping the young person to understand what these experiences mean. These people can have a strong protective influence in the young person’s life, where they feel at ease to discuss their thoughts and experiences without limits or consequences.
Information that might be under the radar of a limit-setter is then more likely to be on the radar of an enabler who has no coercive power. These relationships can only work when lines of communication are open and trust is established and maintained.
Enablers can be friends, siblings, local youth workers or teachers.
These roles vary for young people in out-of-home care but a common example is a carer and a youth drug and alcohol worker.
How this plays out in the real world!
This reflects the very situation when some protective influence is required to manage their risk and this can be achieved by providing young people with accurate, reliable and relevant information and education relating to drug use. However, because of the limit-setting role such information will often not be ‘on the radar’ as the young people will not discuss their use with the limit-setter.
Cue: the benefits of a Youth AOD Practitioner or Youth Worker in an enabler role.
They are in the position to recognise, understand and help the young person manage risks associated with the young person’s drug use. For this to work however, trust and open communication is essential. Young people need to know that when they turn to an enabler, their information doesn’t get passed straight onto their carer or limit-setter.
So when is information shared?
Young people will share information about their experiences with limit setters when they are staying within the limits. When they stray outside of those boundaries, not only are the risks greater but information about the young person’s experiences will often be hidden.
Alternatively, enablers will often be privy to different and more detail information, particularly when the young person is taking more risks.
So the question becomes: When is the risk great enough for information to be shared without consent on ground of ‘keeping them safe’?
An example of when this might happen could be when a young person discloses hanging out and using substances with much older men or women and getting substances for free, or perhaps discloses high-risk injecting techniques that might put them at risk of overdose. In these cases it is obviously beneficial for all those involved to be aware so that they can reduce risks.
When thinking about sharing information, consider the following.
Sometimes guidance, encouragement, information provision and support will not be enough to protect a young person. There are times when limits will need to be imposed and a young person contained. In circumstances where a young person is clearly in danger or is putting someone else at serious risk, information clearly needs to be passed on to someone who has the responsibility and capacity to act.
The protective benefit of enablers being connected with young people will be reduced or cease if communication is shut down or constrained due to information continually being passed onto the limit setters. If this happens then certain subjects, probably those involving the most risk, will no longer be “on the radar” and neither the enabler nor the limit-setter will have any constructive influence.
No established review and ongoing communication processes.
Ultimately, you end up working at cross-purposes and the young person gets stuck in the middle.
Establish clear arrangements around confidentiality and in what circumstances the young person’s risk would be deemed high enough to reveal information.
Have clarity with workers and young people about why limits are being set because often misunderstanding or secrecy causes frustration.
As a new person comes into a care team for a young person, it is a good time to review each person’s role for the young person and how information gets shared. Ultimately, having the young person in this space to explain the roles would be most beneficial so that everyone is on the same page. Ongoing communication over time is the best way to avoid other professionals thinking they are working in secret.