On the other hand, people who never apologize seem to tell the world that they never make mistakes, which we know isn\’t the case. There is a happy medium.
Know what you\’re apologizing for. If you don\’t know, ask.
Demonstrate true repentance. Don’t say: “I’m sorry you are hurt,” which implies the person you\’re talking to is responsible. Try: “I am sorry I hurt you” in which you take responsibility for your actions.
Don’t be defensive, and omit the word “butâ€ from your apology.
It definitely helps to say that you will try not to make the same mistake again, and mean it.
Don’t bring up past infractions.
Employ humor. But be careful with this; you don\’t want to come off as making light of your remorse.
Don’t wait for a better time. An imperfect apology is better than no apology.
Men have a tendency to apologize some of the time while women tend to apologize more frequently than men. It follows that women apologize too much, and men, not enough. In reality, men are just as willing to apologize if they feel they\’re wrong; however they have a different idea of what â€œwrongâ€ means. Men and women also have different thresholds for what they find offensive and necessitates an apology.
Apology is, by definition, the admission of personal wrong-doing. It takes complete responsibility for one\’s actions.Â Sincere apologies are never accompanied by explanations of why a mistake was made. By trying to excuse or rationalize your mistake, you are denying full accountability for it.
When you apologize you are promising to correct your behavior; if you apologize and continue to make the same errors, your apology becomes unbelievable.
Researchers have found that people average about four apologies per week. But, interestingly, these apologies are made more often to strangers (22%) than to family members (7%) or significant others (11%). Friends are only people we know that we apologize to more (46%). Thus, other than friends, who might terminate a less contrite relationship, the adage â€œFamiliarity breeds contemptâ€ remains true.
Apologies are powerful tools and should be used sparingly, but always sincerely. They can reunite estranged loved ones; bring couples back together; provide comfort and relief after a disagreement or misunderstanding. Apologies can sometimes even end wars (literally or figuratively). Watch out that you\’re not overusing an apology so the next time you need to apology it really counts.