I use the phrase "work/life integration". "Balance" doesn't have the right sound to me: you're a human/spouse/parent/employee/friend each 100% of the time, and you don't balance those like you would a 401k portfolio.
To be all of those things at once, we can try to plan in advance and be adaptable, aim to minimize costs of task switching, prefer async communication over synchronous... but it's a skill like any other that everyone improves with at their own pace. We can look to homemakers for expertise with work/life integration skills.
Sometimes you go through "seasons" where you need to focus more on family, and sometimes you need to get work done.
But the idea of "balancing" - I agree - is not very appropriate.
But wherever you are at any given moment - give 100%.
Maybe neither is quite right. After all work is part of life but I guess it's shorthand for personal life. Work/life integration has some negative connotations for me when I think of the consequences of too tight an integration. Anyway, ftr I posted this only half jokingly. I think many developers are way too obsessed with learning, improving, advancing, etc. and it can be detrimental to mental and physical health and relationships. Do you see yourself primarily as being on a software development journey? As a human I think that's just totally wrong.