Sorry for the delay on my weekly Column, I ended up in the hospital for a while!
tis no joke, nor am I trying to be slick.
that’s when i redirect my pain and take pen in hand.
what, who and why isn’t there anyone i can talk to and call.
many try to console and comfort us, but what can one say.
you get so sick of it you just want to shift gears.
yet the pains linger strongly as the morn arrives.
this sure wasn’t a lesson we were taught at school.
the intensity increases with the weather comes snow or rain.
and then there are times you just want to slip off of the cloud.
taking so many meds, no relief, no buzz not even a high.
oh he’ll i moved again and my yell in a pillow I shall smother.
yes she is my wife and through good and bad as we both agreed when married.
yet I cant do this to her, heck i cant even bare the wind it hurts to be touched.
another pain filled evening filled with dark thoughts that can be a fright.
my feat burn, my muscles ache, my nerves shout with electric pains its a damn scandal.
how it felt not to suffer with pains, why is it worse comes spring and fall.
feeling guilty because some are worse off, yet still i want to just cry.
dam meds will be with me forever like a live wire.
to give up and quit at times sounds easy, yet I can not yield.
still there are times I raise my hand and curse those above.
so I can honestly smile to Deb my wife, Gus and Eddie’s daughter.
yet here I am awake, sore, tired, crying through another dark night.
when will the RSD stop, how can I put out these fires.
because of this stupid thing called fibro and this damned SPMS.
did I mention to you I was sick and tired and tired of being sick.
i checked in to the hospital today and am pretty sure i wont be checking out soon stan!
""""""" what is a nurse"""""""""""
Let's talk about my latest and impromptu hospital stay.
The view out my window was pleasant and quite okay.
I don't want to be here. So many people use foul language and curses.
Never do I understand how patients can always be so mean.
These men and women who work hours upon hours, making sure you're healthy and clean.
sometimes even take it out on the EMTs. I just don't get it. No clue.
Yet when they leave my room. There laughing, happy and glad.
Maybe because I'm not like the putz in 403, who yells and screams making them sad.
They sacrificed so much of themselves to give hope to care to nurture others.
There's almost a bond with my nurses, genuine love between sister and brother.
Is it really that hard to be nice. I know some of us are an extreme amount of pain.
But once someone gets 110% in some try to make you feel better. why causes a strain.
It just hurts me inside. When I listen to some of the people what they say .
Nobody wants to be sick. Sore operated on hell, who even wants an overnight stay.
And what confuses me sometimes visit them. Is it me. Sure I hurt like hell.
I was brought up differently. You don't take things out of others. You don't falsely ring the bell.
Be respectful, kind, considerate, we were all taught. This is not really that hard to do.
Put yourself in their spot for one day one hour one minute to see if you can wear their shoe.
I may not expect everyone to be happy to do a course line, a singer, happy song.
So if you gonna stay a few hours. Any are the week upstairs don't be miserable. Don't make it worse.
Remember that person is given their full devotion to as a family of their own because they are a nurse.