Thank you, Anita. I am in a relatively good place now. I am happy and planning my future with my daughter, but life is not without it’s sadness and pain. I am sorry for your loss and I appreciate your kind words reaching out.
I am so sorry for your loss. It will be 2 years on April 5 th that I lost my son. I just want you to know that you can get thru it. It’s tough and takes a lot of work somedays. When it gets to much I remember to just concentrate on breathing. Just take a breath! My prayers to you!
I am so sorry for your loss. This is a very hard time and you are so numb right now… I am glad that my words have helped. And I’m glad you are going to see someone. It is so important to have a safe place to go to help you carry this weight. I continue to write, follow my blog or my Facebook page if it brings you comfort and reach out anytime. I hope you can find some peace in this very difficult time.
My son passed away Nov 8th, I’m so sorry to hear about your son, as a parent this is the worst thing that can possibly happen, I have read a few books that have really helped me through the grieving process, Hope for hurting hearts, by Greg Laurie, Heaven, by Randy Alcorn and one minute after we die…God Bless you..
SPOT ON. Every sentence is spot on. Thank you for this!
Wow. I have read SO much on grief and nothing comes close to being as accurate as you have described it. What a gift this is to us who find no consolation, yet I feel validated. Thank you!!!!
Diana, thank you so much. I am glad I have been able to give you little comfort with my words.
Thank you. Hang in there, it will get better… eventually.
The stuff I can’t put in words, but yes this is the most accurate explanation of grief that I have seen. I’m also nearly two years down this road with the absolutely devastating loss of my life partner. And yes it is so true that we will never be the same because the person I was with him by my side, died with him that day when he left this life.
Karen, I am so sorry for your loss. Life will never be the same, but it can still be a good life, just a different life. There will always be a hole, but we live in their honor. I intend to be happy. My husband would want that. I wish you peace in your healing.
Thank you for your wonderful post! Very helpful to me I am 8 months into this journey.
Donna, thank you. I am glad this is helpful to you. You are in a very difficult time in your grief. For me, months 8-11 were the most difficult. Hang in there. I will keep writing and I hope my words can bring you comfort when you need it.
Extremely good article. Since I am only 2 months into my journey I am so sad, full of grief and so very lonely. We were married 50 years and life without him seems impossible to me..i have now tried to look for articles to see how others are learning to cope with such great loss. This has been the worst and sadddest experience I have ever had. I miss my life with him..
12 years in and I know exactly what you mean. So beautifully put and so accurate. The journey never ends. She is part of me forever.
Lost my soulmate 10 weeks ago just 2 weeks before we were FINALLY going to marry, something we had put off for years due to finances, she was 49 and we were madly in love and inseparable. Reunited childhood sweethearts. Your description is 100% on point you just left out the part about just wanting to die but knowing you can’t. Sleep is elusive, joy nonexistent and hope? What is that. I’m glad to know it might get easier just don’t see how. Thank you for this information.
I lost my husband 3 months ago and I miss him terribly. I miss talking to him, I miss his voice. I am sad my kids don’t have their dad here.
I too am two years into my journey and afraid to let others see that I am so broken..I put on a smile and tell them I am fine but I am NOT fine.. I cry alone ..everyone else has moved on.. I fear that if I reach out they will see it as drama..and.noone likes.drama..so I cry alone everyday, every night.
Do you have a safe place where you can talk about all of the hard things you don’t talk about with others? A best friend or therapist or a family member who knows you intimately enough to know when “im ok” really means “I’m not ok but I just don’t know how to say it”? These are such hard things and if Widows went around being totally honest about every emotion we would be scorned and shunned from society… because there is deep turmoil within us that makes coping a constant battle. “Outsiders” don’t understand what it is like to agonize with grief this deep so they wouldn’t get it if we tried explaining it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be honest without filling them with drama. Sometimes the most healing thing you can do for yourself is cry on someone’s shoulder. You do so much alone already, Widows know the loneliest kind of lonely. You need a shoulder to cry on. Maybe if you reached out to one person, someone you think you could trust with your emotions, and test the waters of opening up? If you do this, I recommend seeking the counsel of a therapist first because this is a difficult thing to do and an emotional journey to begin opening up for the first time.
Believe it or not, opening up does not come naturally to me. In fact, I created this blog page 5 months before I made my first post. Because it took me that long to get up the guts to share this part of myself with others. And it took me about 6 months before that to get up the courage to even create the blog page. I never talked about negative emotions with people other than my husband, and even with him it was hard. I didn’t open up, I feared rejection. I was afraid of being “Debbie downer” because nobody wants a downer around them. So I sat with my demons alone.
You don’t have to do this alone, it’s far too much to handle all on your own. If you send me an email through my contact page or a message on my Facebook page I will be happy to share the burden of your demons… I know them intimately. This is too lonely a road to walk alone. Please let me help ease the loneliness a little. Who better to walk with you than a widow who’s been there, too?
My first husband died 8 years ago. My second husband died of cancer 8 days ago. I’m starting over. While I know that it will get better. It never goes away. I’m not sure I can ever love again.