If you’ve ever felt bad about yourself after a long day that wasn’t long enough to get it all done, you know all about schedule shaming.
When I saw the Nourished Planner’s #Stopscheduleshaming Instagram post (shown above), I knew exactly what they meant by schedule shaming. I have so been there! We jam every possible event, obligation, and to-do into our calendars and lists and then hang our heads at the end of the day discouraged that we can’t do it all. Or we compare and compete with the busy lives around us and feel less than enough if we aren’t measuring up.
In an interview with The Washington Post, Author Brené Brown said, “The expectations of what we can get done, and how well we can do it, are beyond human scale.” Most of the expectation setting is an inside job. Our focus is on getting as much done as possible instead of getting anything done well, or finding joy in what we are doing. When we try to juggle everything, we can’t enjoy anything.
If we won’t stop measuring, let’s change the measuring system. Let’s stop measuring who we are by what we accomplish. We need to measure less by what we cross off our to-do list, and more by what’s on our heart, by how we feel, and by how we treat people.
Organization is overrated. Less is the answer.
Slow and steady encourages more health and happiness.
I will work with people who want my best not my busiest.
I am enough. In fact, I’m freakin’ awesome.
Let’s stop schedule shaming each other too. If someone says no to a request or invitation, shows up a little late for lunch, or takes a while to respond to an email, be graceful and grateful that they are taking care of themselves, and doing their best to navigate a hectic life. Instead of rolling your eyes (that used to be my signature move) or pushing others to do more, remember that we are all in this together. Less shaming. More loving.
Oh yes, schedule shaming, I know what that is! Fortunately, as I’ve aged, I’ve become gentler toward myself. Funny, I’m getting LOTS of things done, but I’m no longer doing “busy work.” I’m doing things that make me a better person and (hopefully) help others.
I didn’t know what the Nourished Planner was. I went to their website and poked around. It looks like a nice planner. Glad you told us about it.
How does anyone know what anyone else has on their lists, schedules, plans, etc ? How do we know what someone else failed to accomplish today…how does anyone else know about us? If we are only being hard on ourselves for an imagined problem, well what can we say? Made up problems for made up angst.
This all seems so silly to me.
May seem made up to you…I see my daughter struggling with this and her other mom friends. When overscheduling of children’s activities are added to the “silent” comparisons of parenting by other moms the stresses are hard. There is even snobbery and judgements about living a minimalist life from pressure to use cloth diapers and make all your own baby food to competing on who got the best thrift store finds.
Too bad I have to see my psychologist in Bologna and my neurologist in Rome today (it’s a 4h travel with multiple transportation means and strikes) and it’s not a good day for my health to start the challenge but I think I will give it a try in the weekend . Your messages always resonate with me and you are already changing my mentality. I have a neurologic desease and I can’t go on ignoring it and living like the super career woman I used to be. You are a role model to me.
As I was reading this I was reminded of the saying, “organisation is just well-planned hoarding”. It’s just as true of our time as our possessions, I think.