WARREN DINING HALL—In an unprecedented display of statistical significance, local statistics professor Standerd “Stan” D. V. Yayshin measured a precise 1:1 correlation between quality of dining hall food and prospective student revisit days. According to Yayshin’s precise measurements, whenever prospective students were in the dining hall, the food suddenly got 100x better.
According to Yayshin, Pulsize was sent to Warren Dining Hall every day for the last month to try the food and rate it on a logarithmic scale from 1 to 10. Yayshin then analyzed Pulsize’s measurements relative to the revisit day schedule. The data was crystal clear: every time prospective students visited, the food improved.
At press time, The Bunion editors were contemplating the reality that BU has an A+ for food on Niche.com.