This year I happily hosted my sister and her family and my brother and his family (separately!) in my little postage-stamp sized condo – at one-bathroom, one-bedroom plus den, it’s an intimate arrangement. I am not sure how much longer my nephews and nieces, never mind my brother and sister’s spouses, are going to entertain overnight visiting as much-fun, but for now they keep coming and I love hosting.
It is during these visits where I am included in the little worlds that my nephew’s and niece’s inhabit as they curiously expand their intellect.
It’s a miracle! I am cooking in my condo kitchen for my family. Mind you I am making the simplest of dinners – fajita’s.
As they enter the smallest living space they’ve ever seen in their life-time.
He doesn’t wait for an answer, he turns around to focus on the nothing at the other end of the hallway.
Points for me and my shades!
A year ago a friend of mine signed up as an Arbonne consultant. Yes, a dreaded multi-marketing company! It’s been a year, she hasn’t lost her house, her car, her job or her friends – gasp – it’s gone really well in fact.
I was first introduced to the facial products and they have worked for me, and I have since tried other products. I recently picked up a few new items to try, one of them a “moisturizer”.
I squeezed some product out of the bottle.
“Hmm the colour looks a little odd,” I thought to myself and applied it anyways.
And I squeezed more out of the bottle and smeared it over my back. I was having a tough time getting it to smooth out when I noticed a spot where it was foaming.
“Odd for a moisturizer,” and I grabbed the container….a body wash!! I mistakenly ordered a body wash.
As a body wash – amazing – as a moisturizer – not so much.
The two Lufthansa flight crew stood like statues, only their faces showing their amusement at watching me walk from the gangway onto the plane.
At the very step where I had to cross the threshold I decided to multitask and turn the data off on my phone. While doing this I lost depth perception and I made a very large, albeit graceful step onto the plane.
I realized what I had done and looked to see if the flight crew had noticed and of course they had!
I laughed my boisterous North American laugh, they shared their well structured German laughs and that just made me laugh more.
The one flight member asked me if I’d do the step again, it was so well performed, natural even!
As I made my way past them one crew member made a comment about the need for laughing.
Did I mention how much I love zeGermans and their quiet, direct humour! Can I stay on Frankfurt!
Do you need a laugh? Maybe a little creep-out?
I had a nervous uncomfortbale laugh and then immediately washed my hand five times.
This evening I stayed again at the hotel instead of going out, which meant I was dining alone.
My Waiter (I really should get his name), gave me the option of sitting in a back corner tonight, thank you! As it is getting close to the end of my trip I decided I might as well go all out and try 3 of the 5 courses available on almost every Italian menu. How does anyone stay thin? I ordered an Appetizer, First Course and Dessert with a coffee.
I managed through the Appetizer and the First Course when two older gentlemen entered the dinning room and sat at the table beside mine. They were sharing a news paper and seemed to be discussing it’s contents.
My Dessert arrived and as I finished up reading an email, noticed out of the corner of my eye one of the old men getting up from his seat and making his way towards me.
Ahhhh, and he reached down for my hand, picked my left hand off the table. His the palm of his old hand was fleshy, soft and warm, the top of his hand was veined, hairy and rough. He raised our hands together and kissed the back of my hand and I pulled my hand back.
“I Haven’t tried yet,” and I took my spoon and a small bite and gave him the thumbs up. He was pleased and asked me to point out which dessert it was on his Italian language menu.
Before he left my table he took my hand a second time, held it slighly longer than the first, kissed it again, looked into my eyes to said Ciao.
I am slightly frazzled, but I have this and I focused on my dessert and my coffee.
The wait staff dropped off a dish of complimentary biscuits on my table. I ignore the biscuits, how do they do this? Pre-appetizer rolls, sliced dried baguette, three course meal AND Biscuits!
The old man noticed and again got up from his table. He asked if I minded if he had my biscuits. He didn’t try to take my hand, I didn’t look at him and I gestured “Go ahead”.
I am completely involved in my email, but I noticed movement to my left and I took a little sideways peak over. He was sitting, staring at me, jiggling his legs giving me the impression was waiting for an opening, a reason to pop back over to my table. I went back to my email and focused, focused on not looking up. I felt trapped. I desperately wanted to leave the room but I feared he’d follow me, so it became a little game of whom can out-sit whom!
I wished desperately for my invisibility cloak.
I shook my head no, more vigorously than before.
MY HOTEL ROOM NUMBER AND HE WILL CALL ME! I wanted to die.
This time I left out the shaking of my head and the verbal no’s and I pulled out my arm gesture that I’ve picked up while being in Italy. The arm gesture that gets in your face and is the ultimate go the F*ck away. I had tried the nice Canadian approach and it clearly did not work.
I pulled my right arm up from my lap and I shook it firmly from side to side in front of his bent over nose.
I ignored him. I was out of material and he shrugged and left the dinning room.
I am ready to come home thanks.