There’s an old movie starring Joanne Woodward called “The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds” based on the Pulitzer Prize winning play by Paul Zindel.
I watched the movie a long time ago, and don’t remember a lot about the plot, but one scene has always stood out in my memory.
And the mom calls out to her daughter, “My heart is full.” Her voice echoes and she repeats a couple of times, “My heart is full.” Then she turns and leaves.
I might have been 10 years old when I saw that movie, but that scene has always stayed with me. In my mind it perfectly exemplifies that feeling of being overwhelmed with gratitude and love and absolute joy, when there are so many emotions all mixed up at once.
That’s how I felt last week at my Book Launch party for “A Song for Jessica”. My heart was full.
The party was a celebration of the official publication of my first novel and to have worked on it for more than a year and told people “I’m writing a book,” and then little by little to have it formed into something real and tangible that I can share.
And then for people to be interested in it and to have it all come together and my family and friends show up on a steamy, Thursday night to help me celebrate the actual publication of a book I wrote and published.
It was just a very humbling experience and to say I’m grateful doesn’t quite get it. Yes, I feel incredibly grateful, but it’s like uber-gratitude, which doesn’t even sound right.
No. My heart is full.
I believe daily gratitude can change your life, but this mixture of love, gratitude, hope, and joy doesn’t feel like an everyday thing. It’s one of those moments I’ll always hold in my heart as an extraordinary gift.
Thanks to everyone who came and special shout out to my team ; ) — my husband, Mark, who’s always right there beside me, my sister, Lynda, who always comes through for me, and for my niece, Juliana, who was a popcorn-popping trooper. And to my friend, Gigi, owner of WT Cafe who provided cookies and muffins. It was a warm evening and we were very fortunate to have a nice evening breeze and smooth sounds by Frank, Kelso, and Kelly Ann Morales. Thanks ya’ll!
Thanks also to Marisol at The Koffee Kup Co. for offering to host and stay open late. You rock!
To all my family and friends who couldn’t be there in person but were there in spirit, thank you for sending love and good thoughts. I felt those, too.
Over lunch the other day, my husband asked, as he often does, about where I am in the process of publishing my book.
I’d been learning about book cover design, format specifications, pricing, distribution, and much more about self-publishing. There was so much to learn.
Meaning, yeah, but I’m still not done. Until I get it out into the world, it’s still a work in progress and I haven’t really done anything.
His question caught me off-guard. When I finished my first draft March 2017, we celebrated with a special dinner and he bought me a congratulations plant, but that was over a year ago.
Now I’m nearly ready to publish and get it out into the world. I’m almost to the finish line. And in my mind, until it’s published I haven’t really accomplished anything.
“I haven’t done anything,” I said.
My husband manages projects for a living and he’s very good at it. He explained that one of the ways to continue positive momentum in a project, especially a long, tedious, labor-intensive one, is to celebrate the milestones along the way.
It’s a way to reflect on what you’ve learned and how far you’ve come.
Of course, he has a point.
There’s so much to learn and so much to do. It can be overwhelming at times.
I can see how even a small celebration before pushing forward to the next step can help refresh the spirit. If nothing else, it helps to recognize the incremental growth and progress toward the end goal.
And big projects (training for a long run, losing X amount of weight, starting a business, finishing school, and the like) don’t happen all at once. They’re done incrementally, little by little.
We celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, Valentines Day and Star Wars Day. Why not make a point of celebrating our personal growth and accomplishments?
I believe it’s important to trust the process.
So, I resolve to make celebrating accomplishments an important part of my process.
Thanks to my husband for the lesson and, as always, recognizing and supporting me and my accomplishments even when I don’t.
One of the things that stood out on my recent trip to Italy is the Catholic influence in culture. Catholicism is by far the dominant religion in Italy, of course. Many of the famous artistic masterpieces are religious in nature, such as The Statue of David and the Sistine Chapel.
And, of course, people flock to Italy from all over the world to see these amazing masterpieces.
But wayside altars were an unexpected treasure.
Of course, these types of shrines can be found in many places, not just in Italy, but they seem fairly common here. Maybe it’s simply another indication of the huge Catholic influence in the country.
This one reminded my husband and me of the tree where Boo Radley left “gifts” for Scout and Jem in To Kill a Mockingbird.
They’re often near shops or restaurants. This one’s beside a parking lot.
The altars may commemorate an incident that took place there. Maybe the location holds some personal significance to the person who erected it.
Or maybe they’re meant to honor Jesus, The Virgin Mary, and/or a Catholic saint.
No matter the reason, I found them interesting and beautiful. And Italian.
Have you ever felt like you were fumbling along just trying to figure things out and hoping for the best? Like you don’t know what the heck you’re doing. Parenting can feel a lot like that (it did for me!), or taking a leap of faith without a net.
In a previous blogpost, What to do when you feel stuck in the weeds I covered some tips to help get you through those times when you feel unfocused, overwhelmed, or unsure you’re on the right track.
If you missed the post about being flexible, click here. Or the 2nd post about connecting with people who’ve been where you are, click here. Or the 3rd about finding a process that works for you, click here.
So you’ve been flexible to help you find your way back to your clear path, you’ve done your research and decided on a process to help get you there, and you’ve gotten started.
Even when you have a roadmap to get where you’re going, you’re bound to face unexpected challenges that get you off-track along the way. Weeds. Don’t let them stop you. Make adjustments and regroup if necessary, then keep moving forward and don’t give up.
But we can be impatient. We want results because we want to know that our investments — our time, effort, money — will be worthwhile.
No one likes failing. Sure it feel great to win. It’s validation. Winning validates that your work, blood, sweat, and tears have not been wasted.
Failure can be tough on the ego, on the psyche.
But what if we back it up and look at what we’re doing and trust the process.
Maintain flexibility and tweak as necessary.
We learn best by doing and things will not always go as planned. Sometimes they’re way better than we planned, but inevitably there’ll be times when they’re way worse.
That’s true for most things.
A friend was transitioning to a newly designed process at work that would make her job easier.
She had trouble adjusting to the new process. When she tried applying the newfound principles she freaked out. She wanted to revert back to her old way of doing things, but that wasn’t an option.
As difficult as it was, she had to trust the process, to work through it, make mistakes, learn from her mistakes, make adjustments, and then do it again.
It took a major mental shift for her to stick with it, to not give up and trust the process.
Remember, failure’s part of the process.
Don’t let fear of failure keep you from trying.
Even when it feels like you’re getting nowhere, trust the process and keep moving forward. It’s the only way you’ll ever get on track to reach your goals.
It’s such a positive message.
You’re too old for that. You’re not a kid.
Or we can listen to C. S. Lewis and believe that as long as we have the dream in our heart and we’re still breathing, it’s not too late. As long as we have the desire, even though it may not be easy or without obstacles, we can still take steps toward new dreams and goals.
Thinking we’re too old is how we let ourselves off the hook.
And the more time we spend looking back, regretting something in our past, the more time we spend not moving forward.
We convince ourselves that it’s too late instead of getting out of our own way and getting to work.
Sure, people might think we’re wasting our time. They may think it’s pointless, that we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. And we may have moments where we agree with that thinking.
We could let all that negative thinking stop us. Or we can believe what C. S. Lewis says, that we’re never too old.
While we’re able, before it really is too late, let’s dream a new dream, set a new goal.
Let’s get started, then keep going.