I sold my old saw and bought my new one. I tuned her up, made a fence for the miter gauge and a couple of ZC blade inserts. Now what? Being retired money is tight – can’t buy lumber till the checks come in. I looked around the shop and saw scraps of different kinds of wood. But I saw a lot of odd lengths of clear select pine. I got out my tape measure, a piece of paper and a pencil and started ciphering. What can I build out of what I’ve got? This is the desk I built from scraps. It’s for my ham and CB radio equipment. It was “inspired” by the old paymaster’s desks with all the slots, shelves and cubbyholes. The only cost was the 2 drawer knobs for $3.18, including tax.
The table is 44-1/2 X 28-1/2. The top case is 43-1/4 long 11-1/4 high and 11-1/4 wide.
There is space for my laptop and a calculator under the center radio shelf. A place for operator’s manuals, radio logs, etc. on the side shelves and two draws for small stuff.
I started by choosing the flattest, longest boards with the straightest grain for the tabletop. I put in some biscuits, glued them up and got them into the clamps. Using my only 3 cauls, some boards, some wax paper and a few wedges I beat the edges into submission. When the glue was dry I scrapped the glue joints with a painter’s scraper – perfect. Every joint was perfect. Very little sanding needed. That’s one time in a row. Why can’t good lumber come out like this?
The next best boards were used for the apron and L-shaped legs. I used this style leg because I felt uncomfortable gluing up all the weird grain from different trees to make thicker “typical” desk legs. I figured they would quickly look like twisted trees. The apron and legs went together with mortise and tenon joints.
The top assembly went together using dowels for the shelves and glue and brads for the rest. The draws are simple apothecary style dado boxes that just slide on runners. They aren’t “working” drawers in the sense that they carry any weight and are opened and closed often.
The case assembly backboard has wide slots for wires and cables. The top has slotted vents for muffin fans to pull the heat out of the radio compartment.
A radioman’s room, his “shack”, is a hodgepodge of anything he can find. Old shelves, used doors, whatever. It’s the equipment that matters. This might be a scrap wood desk but it’s a Cadillac for a radioman’s “shack”.
I finished it this past Saturday. My wife Uni came home from shopping and saw the finished desk. This is how the conversation went.
Me thinking: I’m an idiot. Don’t correct her. You’ll just start her talking about the messes you make.
Me thinking: Holy crap you fool. She brought out The List. Don’t answer back. Don’t correct her. Don’t talk about The List.
Me thinking: Crap! You can’t argue when she pulls out the could-have. Be smart, get back on track.
Me thinking: I really am an idiot. Now she’s pulled 2 things from The List and she’s moved on to it’s her house. Why do I do this? I have a wife and 4 daughters. I haven’t been right since the oldest daughter became a teenager. As the girls aged I simply went from always being wrong to being dumber than a sack of wet hair.
Me thinking: Holy crap how far back does The List go?
Ok, time to fill you folks in. Many years ago (that’s how The List works) when Andrea, our oldest, was a teenager we were out of Cascade. She put liquid dish soap in the dishwasher. The suds were too much to handle and this white frothy foam ran out all over the kitchen floor. Dudly Doright to the rescue. I’ll clean it up with my old shop vac. And it is old. It came with a kite and a key as an electrical accessory. Well, I’m at the front of the vac with the hose and the wand cleaning up the foamy mess when I hear Uni cackling. I turn around to see that the exhaust is a bubble machine on steroids. The dining room is 2/3rd full of giant bubbles.
Me thinking and keeping the smiles inside: I don’t care who you are, those bubbles were funny as hell.
Me thinking: Holy crap! How the heck did she turn that into my fault?
My phone rang. Thank God for the interruption. It’s Wildman and Sparky (radio handles). They’re coming over tomorrow to work in the shack. I tell them about my conversation with Uni. “You’re so screwed buddy.” It’s all they could say. Nonsense! I’m not screwed. This is my desk. I built it for me and Uni is not getting away with it.
Wildman and Sparky came over yesterday (Sunday) and I showed them the desk. . All Wildman said was “Nice Cuckoo clock.” And Sparky asked, “When are you going to knit her a doily to cover those shower drains.” With friends like mine who needs enemas.
That was one hell of a funny write up and the desk aint half bad neither! Good stuff all the way around tinman.
Thank you, I need a bit of a laugh today. You might give more of a warning though I in my cubicle at work. OH BTW nice desk you made for the wife. I can appreciate the note. I have 3 girls and a son. You would think we would leanr when to just stop talking, you know you will never win.
Got to be in the daily top 3 for many reasons. Nice work.
That’s a sweet looking decorative cuckoo clock desk. Maybe you need to build a ham desk out of an old piece of plywood with burn marks already on it to keep it from being re-purposed.
Good work on Uni’s new desk and great write-up. I enjoyed it very much!
Great job and write up thetinman! I’m “surprised”..........., uh “shocked”. :-) Good to see your new saw is working out for you. That’s some right fine work for scraps. Geeeez…, I can’t let my wife see this project. She’s be pointing to all my piles of scrap. Thanks for sharing your work.
Incredible story with great results! I had to share this one on our LumberJocks’s Facebook page.
All in favour of not wasting anything that ‘might come in handy’. (I’ve not only got a houseful and shedful of stuff like that, I’ve inherited one too!) Great looking desk; pity it’s not yours! Wonderful story, really enjoyed it and sympathize with you. Now that I’m living alone I don’t have to consider that sort of problem; I wouldn’t be building a 17ft catamaran in my living room if I did!
Great stain job on the pine. I have been using thinned BLO as a sealer, but your thinned poly does the trick too.
The desk is beautiful and the story is even better. Kudos, and duck! Here comes Uni!
Awesome story and awesome desk, very well done and very well written, Please keep it up.
Great design and build. As for the write-up, my wife (in the other room) heard me laughing and I had to quickly respond, “Oh, nothing; just reading one of my woodworking forums.” Funny stuff!
Holy crap! Cricket is going to post this on Facebook. Holy crap! Oh this will definately make THE LIST. The favorite show those women watch is “Snapped” – a show about women killing their husbands. I better find some scrap wood and make me a pine box.
Holy crap! I’m a dead man.