In dealing with depression, you either have the experience or not. There is an “us” and a “them.” Those wearing the “US” jerseys in the game of life know and understand how someone can think or react in a given situation. We know this through personal experience, or through having watched a close friend or family member go through the war of depression.
The words I’ll use sound divisive. My thoughts are not intended to divide but to clarify, encourage and explain.
Those who have endured can try to tell you what depression is like, but words are inadequate. Because of this, someone who has experienced depression is likely the one who can best help someone now going through it.
I’ve read a number of books about historic battles. But, reading of the experiences of war does not give an understanding of war. Two dear friends had fathers who were on the ground in Europe during World War II. One had the responsibility of driving the dead truck. He was part of a team that recovered the bodies of men killed on the battlefield. The second man was part of a force that was first to arrive at a Nazi extermination camp. Neither man ever had much to say about their war experiences. They avoided talking about it.
To speak intelligently of military life has to have been there. To speak accurately about depression a person has to have been there!
So, using Maughon’s words every person is part of either “us” or “them.” The “them” group usually does not have the foggiest notion about what a depressed person is dealing with. There are a lot of “them” in the church. They mean well and honestly are trying to help. But their tendency to make sweeping statements or to use clichés about faith, salvation, and joy are seldom helpful.
Would it be acceptable for me, a non-soldier, to tell the fellow who did two tours in Afghanistan how he “ought” to feel? No! If you are one of “us” and someone on the “them” team is trying to help but is really hurting, put their effort in perspective. Don’t let it further weigh you down.
If you are part of “The Depression Corp” please filter through what people you know, respect and trust are saying. Instead of getting angry at them or becoming even more disheartened, walk away mentally saying, “There is another ‘them’ who doesn’t know what they are talking about.” You don’t have to say it, just think it and move. Don’t let the good guys get you down!
I have written several articles on depression. For a direct link, please click below.
Your experience with someone who has not been through this particular battle may help someone else. Please share it in the comments below.