NEOPIA CENTRAL--With the recent addition of the Wheel Of Knowledge to the world of Neopia, life has gotten even more complicated. Now there are close to a half dozen distinct wheels to be found. My fears are that this number will continue increasing and increasing in a Snowball Effect. Incidentally, the Snowball Effect is named for the period in Neopia’s history when the Icy Snowball was created. Fearing this wasn’t enough, the Wet Snowball was created, followed by the Yellow Snowball, the Exploding Snowball, the Stone Snowball, the Peach Snowball and so on until today, when new Snowballs like the Tortured Snowball and the Extra Evil Snowball are still being churned out. The Snowball effect simply refers to something that grows bigger and spins out of control, like...gee, I can’t think of anything...hmmm....Oh yes! Like the Wheel Of Monotony, only faster. And that pulls us back to the original topic, which is the existence of Wheels.
The Wheel Of Stupidity: The guard isn’t too bright, so you can spin it as many times as you like. Unfortunately, the prizes all involve falling anvils.
The Wheel Of Poetry: Go on, try it, give it a spin.
And hope that you will something win.
You might get a Pull-Along Peophin!
The Wheel Of Calcium: Synergizing a wheel with the ever-popular game Cheeseroller, all the spokes on this Wheel are Cheese Wedges. You get to keep whichever one you land on. The trouble is that the wheel is located in Meridell, and a gang of Rogue Drackonacks hang around at the exit of the gang, very hungry for cheese.
The Wheel Of Productivity: The good news is that if you win, your Internet connection speed doubles. The bad news is that the Flash animation is so complex that there are only four computers in the world that can view it in its entirety.
The Wheel Of Merriment: Soon to replace the Roo Island Merry-Go-Round. You either make your pets so sad that they turn Blue, or so happy that they turn Yellow. Bring spare Paint Brushes.
The Wheel Of Majority: Every time you spin, all the Faeries in Neopia gather for a meeting to decide whether or not you are worthy to receive the prize. Though they usually decide to not give it to you, this is a perfect time to loot the Hidden Tower, eat your fill at the Neggery and switch the Soup Pot / the Island Cooking Pot for fun.
The Wheel Of Electrocution: 20,000 Meepits in wheels provide enough energy to... well, you’d better hope it doesn’t land on the Lightning Bolt symbol.
The Wheel Of Pity: If you lose 500 times in a row on this wheel, Fyora will be kind enough to give you 1,000,000 Neopoints. The Wheel is computer-engineered to give you a win every 499th spin.
The Wheel Of Percussion: This one is sponsored by Wock ‘Til You Drop. The odds are difficult to beat, and the symbols on the wheel are actually cymbals. I bet it'll drum up some interest.
The Wheel Of Wheel: Only unlocked if you land on the ‘Wheel’ space on every other wheel, this is where to go if you want to win a random free spin once per day. Seeing how the combined time required to actually unlock the Wheel Of Wheel is 26 hours, it just doesn’t seem worth it, ya know?
The Wheel Of Inferno: Well, if you win the jackpot on this one, your pets will finally get the Fire color they’ve been begging for. Except it’s not a Paint Brush.
The Wheel Of Spirituality: Haunted/Run by King Coltzan III and Mrs. Prenderghast, the Wheel of Spirituality is unfortunately transparent so that you have to blow on it to spin it. They rent out Iron Lungs to do the blowing for you, but trust me, they're not cheap.
The Wheel Of Mutiny: Whatever the prize, the automatic reaction is that your pets go on strike until you stop reading articles about imaginary Wheels.
Wow. That’s a lot of wheels. Hopefully this will give the Neopets Team enough to keep rolling along. (I am soooo funny.) The thing is, though, the chances are good that some of these might actually start popping up. I’m warning TNT, though...I want royalties. Maybe a special trophy, the ‘Wheely-Odd-Writer Trophy.’ Yeah...So until the next time I get an urge to earn a shiny, shiny NT trophy, bye.