If that is where you are today, God says to you in Jesus Christ, “My steadfast love will not depart from you.” Your life may take a different path as a result of what you’ve done, but God never abandons his own children.
Think of David who, later in his life, messed up big time. All he could do was cast himself on the grace and mercy of God and plead, “Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me” (Psa. 51:11). What matters to David now is not what he did or did not get to do in his earthly life. What matters now and forever is that God did not take his steadfast love from David—and in Christ, he will never take his steadfast love from you.
Do you hear God’s promise of steadfast love for you today? Lean into it, especially if you feel that you have messed up.