The milestone that comes with residency graduation is becoming eligible to take the Boards for your medical specialty.
For example: In Internal Medicine, your DrSpouse takes Internal Medicine Boards. In Family Medicine, he takes Family Medicine Boards, and so on.
The GREAT news is that the vast majority pass and become board certified. But every year, there are many people who fail the board exam.
That person may be your DrSpouse.
If you are living that nightmare in your family, take a deep breath. Remember, successful doctors have failed before. You both will overcome this.
I will share five winning tips that will help when retaking it. Soon, all this will just be a story to tell.
This is not the time to rehash past behavior. It’s also not the time to go over future strategies.
Instead, when you get the bad news, get a babysitter and have a nice meal. Listen to him talk about anything he wants. Validate and acknowledge his negative feelings.
Of all times to be truly present and supportive, this is it.
“Facebook depression” is real, and you don’t need to have studied the DSM-5 to know that. There are studies that show social media can really kick us on our backs when we’re feeling down.
So for goodness sake, stay off of social media for a few days until everybody is done congratulating one another.
This is for you as much as it is for him, too.
A lot of fears can be allayed if we separate what’s true. What you don’t know can send you into a spiral of worry.
Some employers do require you to be board certified (BC). Some allow a window of 2-5 years to be BC. Some don’t require you to be BC at all. Check with them.
If he is in a fellowship or thinking of going into one, he has to pass it before he can take the subspecialty board.
If he checked the box that says he is releasing his scores to his program director (which my understanding is he likely should), he will get the full report including his score.
His former co-residents, co-fellows, fellowship program director, and employer could look up the governing board for his specialty and see Pass/Fail. But no one will know his exact score.
The general public — your high school friends, personal trainer, accountant —likely won’t know or care to look up so they will never know.
In the book Drive by Daniel Pink, the author says you want to be where your mind goes into “flow” and you forget the world exists.
Your DrSpouse needs to find wherever this is for him, and help him stay there.
I have a friend whose husband studied at the library, slept at the hospital, and showered at the gym. They saw each other once a week. I applaud them, if that’s what it takes….
I know it’s super sad to have to talk about this because of how common depression is in medicine.
But as his spouse, you know him better than anyone else in the world. You could tell when his mourning is actually depression. If you think it’s the latter, get a psychiatrist now. And don’t let money be an obstacle. If you have insurance, it could cost just like a primary care doctor’s visit.
The scary thing is physician suicide is not unheard of after failing the boards. Couple that with other stressors like death or illness in the family, moving away from family support, marriage issues, or any sort of life event, and the risk is multiplied.
Listen to him and allow him to express his negative feelings.
Allay his fears by knowing what’s true about failing and what isn’t.
Help him refocus and prepare better this time around.
See a psychiatrist if you suspect he is depressed.
Not passing the exam the first time feels like a nightmare as it’s happening. But it is just a hiccup. You guys will overcome this.
One day, you guys will look back at all this as another survival story in the medical journey.
What was life like when your DrSpouse was studying for the Boards?
Did I miss any tips that helped your DrSpouse pass?
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My wife, the doctor’s spouse, was always very supportive of my exams. We went on a month long vacation before my last and final board renewal exam. We toured California in the motor home and parked wherever it was 70 degrees and sunny. We listened to study tapes while driving down the road. (She said she felt she could pass the test after all those lectures) I also studied every evening while she practiced playing the bass guitar. (she learned to play the bass that month on the road) We played and explored the area during the day.
It would have been difficult if she did not let me listen to the lectures when we drove. If she insisted on music because those lectures were boring, I would have lost a lot of study time. She could also have insisted on us going out to dinner and watching a movie or some other activity in the evening. Her support made a big difference in my test preparedness. I never failed a board exam (3 of them) and I feel part of that was because she understood the importance and supported my efforts to be ready. She also never complained about the cost of review material.
My husband is currently studying for the boards. I 100% agree with all of the aforementioned tips, except #5. See a psychiatrist. As a clinical social worker, it can be very important to see a psychiatrist if you make the choice to utilize medication management to cope with symptoms of depression. However, it’s also equally important to consider therapy or counseling in conjunction with psychotropic medication. That is best practice. Most psychiatrists don’t see people for therapy, some do, but the majority do not. Additionally, it can be very difficult to get an appointment with a prescriber and often times therapists or counselors can help facilitate that process more easily. Finally, if the severity of symptoms create a significant risk of harm to self or others, therapists and counselors are key to get linked with a higher level of care immediately.
That’s a very good point, JRS. Thanks for letting me know. Even if the psychiatrist is the first office you call, hopefully they can refer you to a good therapist.
Hi, I failed my third board exam and it was overwhelming. I’m thinking it’s a sign to let it go because I already passed two other board exams without problem. It is more psychologically difficult practicing know that I failed.