These past few weeks on Instagram stories have really contained more sporadic pop-ins and not my normal ramble sessions with y’all. Can’t decide if I should apologize or give a huge “you’re welcome!” to those of you that make it through them from start to finish! I wanted to sit down and share a little about my absence – after all, we are friends, right?
Over the past few months, my heart had been leading me to make some changes. There are many realms where my husband and I overlap – at the time, our professional life was one of those areas. There were so many benefits to being in the same role in our market – we were always able to attend events together, understood each others days in immense detail, and there was a deep comfort in being a phone call away to help the other tackle whichever mini-crisis had popped up. It all felt perfect for a while… Eventually, though, we realized our work-life balance lines were starting to become greyed. We began discussing work from the moment we woke up to the second we fell asleep. It felt all-consuming, and somewhat suffocating at times. I was losing myself and constantly carrying this sadness in my heart . Not only was I professionally unfulfilled, but Braxton, Mario and everyone around me were getting a version of Nicollette that they didn’t deserve.
I spent so much time praying to find something that would bring me true fulfillment. I wasn’t willing to go into a role that I didn’t love, so the next move I made couldn’t be my job, but my career. You know, something that would give me so much purpose that I couldn’t wait to get to the office each day. Something that allowed me to use my creative forces, knowledge, interpersonal skills and love for my community all in one role. I craved a position that allowed me to be apart of the team while also working independently on my own “list” of responsibilities. When my phone rang and a new position presented itself, I was in disbelief. I had spent the past few months hoping, praying for this. All of the missed opportunities, frustrations, moments of self-doubt and sadness had brought me here. It truly was the answer to my prayers.
If you’ve made it this far, you’re a trooper! My purpose for sharing this message is to remind you, no matter where you might be in your journey, there is always a reason for the struggle. Looking back, those months seem like a small blimp on the radar in my life, but there were moments where I remember feeling like my internal struggles and questioning of self-worth would never end. If this is where you are, please know you aren’t alone. I am forever grateful for my Mario always standing behind and supporting every dream or leap of faith I’ve felt compelled to make. I pray that each of you have that in your partners! More than that, I am so thankful God drew out my struggle just long enough to show me how resilient I could be just as He led me to the role I’m in now.