“My father died a little less than a year ago. My friends here at school were very supportive when it happened and for a time afterwards. My professors were also understanding at the time and I was able to finish that semester. But now I watch as everyone else is moving on and I am still struggling.
“There are still a couple of holidays that I will have to deal with for the first time without my father there. I do not know what I am going to feel during my first Family Weekend here without my father. I do not want to burden my friends by telling them how I feel but I also am somewhat jealous of them because they seem so carefree. And sometimes when I hear others start complaining about too much work and not getting the highest grade I get pretty annoyed that they are getting upset by such little things.
These are common reactions of students who are trying to move on with their lives while grieving the loss of someone close to them. Grief is a natural physiological and emotional process that occurs in reaction to a significant personal loss. While grief is highly individualized, it is an ongoing process that changes over time but has no pre-determined end point.
After a while, even your friends forget you may be mourning. It is not uncommon for grieving students to feel isolated and unsupported.
Grief is a time of suffering. It also can be a time of personal reorganization and growth. The Office of Behavioral Health for Students can be a resource for grieving students.
Use our consultation service as a safe and comfortable place to talk with someone about your loss and maybe get some ideas about how to best take care of yourself during this time.
Or you might want to drop in and check out the Peer Grief Support Group that is sponsored by OBHS and which meets once a week throughout the academic year. Come sit and talk with other students who have at least one thing in common, that is, experiencing the loss of a loved one. Come once, twice, a few times or regularly just to be with others who do understand what you are going through.
Bill and Sarah are seniors who have being dating each other since the end of their sophomore year. They are living together in a wood frame house and have settled into a routine and, if asked, would say, “Yes, we’re in love.” As graduation approaches they know that the relationship may change or end, but both seem content to avoid talking about the future. They get into more frequent arguments and find themselves being short with each other. Bill also finds himself attracted to other senior women and fantasizes about being single again. Sarah notices Bill’s distance and responds by increasing her surveillance of Bill. (On one or two occasions she’s even checked his email and text messages).
OBHS is available to assist Bill and Sarah individually and as a couple. A therapist can help them sort out what each wants from the relationship and develop the tools necessary to confront these difficult issues directly.
Bill is a senior who has a lot on his plate. He is writing a thesis and trying to figure out what he is going to do after graduation. Although he is busy with his academic work, he is organized and uses his time efficiently. He does not have as much time to socialize as he would like, but he has friends and goes out on weekends. He seems to be functioning well, but he has one problem. There are nights when he has difficulty falling asleep. Generally he is able to fall asleep within twenty minutes of going to bed. On his “bad” nights it can take him several hours to fall asleep, leaving him sluggish and irritable the next day. One “bad” night generally leads to several consecutive nights of difficulty. Bill has had some difficulties with sleep in the past, but never to this extent. He is now worried that his academics will suffer and that he will not be able to complete his thesis.
What can Bill do and where can he go for help?
There are resources for Bill at OBHS. OBHS knows how important sleep is to maintain good mental health. We have worked with many students to help them restore normal sleep patterns.