It has definitely been a while since I last wrote. I started a new job, gotten two temporary crowns and have spent time trying to help my mother-in-law who hasn’t been well since her move to Kansas.
The fork in the road for me is regarding work. I nearly quit one day because of a devastating event at work. While I won’t disclose what happened, it was painful and made me question whether I want to continue teaching at this school. I was hired to teach special education but have spent the hours teaching middle school science instead. There is still the expectation I do the special ed. part to. There are new government forms to learn, new programs I am to be learning and implementing and new students I am to figure out how to reach. Individually, these would be doable but together it is overwhelming.
I watched the Steve Job commencement speech that they played on his death and it reinforced to me that I am not on the path I wanted to be on. I know I chose to do this job as I desire to help others and because I wanted a sense of economic security. Somehow though it doesn’t feel like enough.
I got a good evaluation from my boss the other day. I wanted to just yell though that if I were doing what I knew something about they would see what a good job was.
Do I dare make the move and if I do, can I make it work? i work on my rug hooking most nights to try to relieve the stress of work. Some days I leave at 6:30 and get home around 5:45. Then it is usually a few more hours in to try to feel like I have my head above water for the next day. Needless to say, I feel exhasuted.
Maybe the break at Thanksgiving will help me get rested up and make my thinking clearer.
Last night we were able to open the windows. It was cool and it made for good sleeping weather. I imagine my sinuses will suffer due to this but it was a nice change.
Yesterday was a faculty meeting for the co-op. One of my friends got ill so we spent the afternoon with her in the hospital. The tests came back alright though so we took her home. That was a blessing.
This week, Thursday, I am making Rice Krispie Treats with my independent living class. We made smoothies with yogurt and frozen fruit two weeks ago. I wonder what I should make with them next….