Cryogenics is a method of killing yourself before you're dead, thus dumbfounding even quantum physicists. A rich person is rapidly cooled, their blood is replaced by liquid nitrogen, the person's body is kept in a freezer, and the janitor accidentally bumps his bottle of scotch into the circuit breaker and pretends there was a power outage.
This procedure was developed as a clever way to avoid life insurance bills, while permanently collecting 401k payments (however this was never put into practice, as the 401k and similar bonds were abolished in response to the stick market crash of 2047, when all of the small wooden dowels used as universal currency to solve the problem of inflation spontaneously combusted (this use of dowels was also a moot idea, as the change to universal currency actually worsened inflation as the universal economy fluctuated when China suddenly decided to go to war with all things good (this war was short lived, as China was soon able to eliminate all things good in the world (by 2046, the time of the war, the only good things left in the world were slinkies, the Rubik's Cube, and digital watches (the advent of the digital watch randomly failed and completed China's goal for them when a conspiracy of the Society of Atomic Clocks United created a cesium fusion bomb, and destroyed all watches 2 days after the beginning of Chang's War of the Insane (the name of the Chinese war on good)))))).
Cryogenics theoretically allows the family of a rich scumbag to invite the mentioned relative to tea and cakes, drug him, and then freeze the relative while he's asleep, so the family can claim to the retirement fund agency that he is, in fact, alive, and receive his obnoxious amounts of retirement fund cash for the rest of eternity.
This page was last edited on 27 October 2015, at 22:04.