My current read, The Girl Who Never Read Noam Chomsky, feels slightly reminiscent of a young Lorrie Moore (which, to me, is the highest possible praise). The book follows Leda, whom we meet as a college student in Boston, as she chases her dream of being a writer, dates inappropriate people, and ultimately, becomes a wife and mother. Over multiple decades, Leda grapples with friendship, dating, heartbreak, parenthood and loss, and her observations are consistently funny and sharp.
Here’s a tip from perennial genius Brené Brown: “Calm people are breathers. They breathe and ask questions.” She then demonstrates how, upon hearing news, she trained herself to stop and inhale. Then, she listens to all the information and asks follow-up questions to determine whether the situation is actually worth freaking out over. Noted.
So, lately, I’ve taken to carrying around this bluish-greenish stone. It’s a Chrysocolla, and if you believe in meanings behind crystals, it’s revered as a healing stone, used for clearing negative thought patterns. Apparently, it’s also a motivator to turn your ambitions into reality. I KNOW HOW THIS SOUNDS, BUT BEAR WITH ME. Who among us couldn’t use a reminder to follow our truth? Who couldn’t use some gentle encouragement… even if it’s coming from a rock? I leave you with this: the placebo effect is real. And sometimes, having a reminder is just as good as magic.
P.S. The best new podcast of 2018, and five words that changed everything.
I love Killing Eve but I think it’s because the show allows Jodie and Sandra to create characters we have not seen before. I love the complexity and can’t wait for Season 2.
Caroline – Do you watch the Bold Type? It is a guilty summer pleasure and one that I think you would enjoy.
Ever since I was a girl, I’ve LOVED stones, too! But I recently have been learning about the highly unethical and dangerous mining practices used for most crystals and stones around the globe, harming the local environmental AND the workers :-( I urge Cup of Jo staff to spread the word about buying responsibly sourced stones (I know, it’s easier said than done, but necessary)!
I was casually scrolling through my favorite blog when I caught the rock comment and had to pop back up to the top to check the byline bc I immediately knew it was a Caroline post. Just wanted to let you know how much I love your voice back on the blog!! Woot!!
I need that rock in my life right now.
Really enjoyed Killing Eve! I’m surprised more people haven’t seen it. Only 8 episodes. It’s a really easy one to binge.
stone carrier here! recently had my toddler hold a rose quartz stone for a moment and literally two minutes later he stood up by himself for the first time. when i hold stones i feel the energy and healing power. maybe i’m crazy but i love it.
I’m curious what “I know how this sounds” means? I use crystals fully for healing, love, protection, etc. and it’s lovely. Are people judged for using crystals and stones?
My son has some, I gift them to relatives and co-workers. I have them all around my home.
I luuuuv Killing Eve, this is such a fun show to watch ! I have always been a big fan of Sandra Oh, both actresses are absolutely amazing.
And I am really into crystals so I will definitely try this one :) Since you mentioned the placebo effect, have you read the book Cure by Jo Marchant ? This is an fascinating study of the power of the mind over the body. Mind-blowing !
love that quote about women on screen though.
On rocks – my 4 year old has a couple in every coat pocket. You know he likes a place when he reaches down, chooses a rock, and slides it into his pocket to add to his collection later. My house is full of them!
I’ve wanted to get into crystals, even for the placebo effect. But the problem is the promises all seem too general and every single rock seems to apply. Doesn’t everyone always want love and luck and courage success and and to be rid of toxic energy?
All great things. I especially love the fourth mention, and appreciate your effort in putting it out there. Sometimes we need a rock or stone to ground us in our true selves with our truest desires, a paper weight for people.
The message behind it also reminded me a bit of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, in terms of having the courage to live our truth, or, at the very least, to wish for it until it is revealed. I’ve been going through this book lately (but in very cheat fashion, skipping morning pages and reading the chapters/doing the tasks at my own pace) and find that there is something quite real about the effect of sitting down and imagining alternate realities as a way to stimulate the possibility of becoming unstuck, and of stepping into the skin of my ‘true’ self, whatever she looks like. I hope I come to know the reality of my own ambitions, either with a rock in hand, or a book read cover to cover.
Also – re Brene Brown – I seriously recommend a listen to her audio on Men, Women and Worthiness.
Not at all a “woo woo” person for the most part, but a friend was talking about lapis lazuli as protection from envy and bad energy. On a whim, because I have some high-stakes life steps coming up, I bought a pair of small lapis stud earrings and you know what? I’ve really enjoyed having them there, hanging out quietly on either side of my head, day in and day out, for a month now. Placebo effect or whatever, it definitely reminds me to shake off negativity. I touch them several times a day.
I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH KILLING EVE! I haven’t watched a TV show in so long, and this one has me obsessed. I gasped when I saw you mentioning it. Sandra Oh is exquisite in every possible way breathing so much life into her characters – I have missed seeing her performances so. Jodie Comer is excellent! The show is amazing, and I cannot recommend it enough.
Rock on, stone lady! If it works, it works.
That fox is adorable. I love it.
Caroline, you are a delight.
I am having such an awful day and my best friend won’t pick up the phone, so I decided to reach out to my second best friend (that is how I call a Cup of Jo when talking to my husband)… I wish I had that stone, or at least knew how to breath properly before loosing it.
So sorry to read this. Hope things ease up soon. Kind of a low day here too. I am coping by baking a cake.
Calm people are Breathers……oh YES to this…a thousand yeses!!! As a high anxiety and hyper person, I learned the art of breathing over past 4 years..practicing it every time I open my mouth to talk to my husband (coz someone wisely said, change starts at home :)).
I do this with my son, too, though when I started about half the time it resulted in “NO, no deep breaths, mama!!!” ? Lately however, half the time he starts his deep breaths before I can mention it. This parenting thing works sometimes, eh?
A friend is a school counselor and she has what she calls a “breathing ball” – one of those rainbow plastic sphere things that folds up really small and expands (https://goo.gl/images/kAsqnf). She has a kid hold it, and as they breathe in and out, they expand and contract the ball. Having something to represent breath with their external body (vs. just lungs) is perhaps unsurprisingly really useful with the littles. We don’t have one of those balls but just the kinds having seen it helps them put their hands around an imaginary one when we need to breathe together to calm down.
Another book recommendation: Fresh Water by Akwaeke Emezi. Amazing story that hit so many right spots!
Oh i just came home from the bookstore and was about to buy it. I’ll need to go back, thanks for the recommandation!
Killing Eve and everything PWB does is fantastic. I’m as much obsessed with PWB as Villanelle is with Eve (and vice versa. ha!). I’ve already watched Fleabag 3 times through and can’t wait for season 2 to arrive sometime in 2019.
i’m watching fleabag for the second time right now, and i’m in LOVE with PWB.
oh I want to know more about crystals!
I’ll one up you on the woo woo factor… I recently went for an Akashic Records reading and the lady who did it (who side note seemed so cool and fun and chill and awesome and I wanna be friends with her but she lives in Oakland, CA) recommended a few crystals that I should get and one of them was chrysocolla. At first I was like, “Wait what, Chris Cola? Do I drink that?” And I actually haven’t gotten around to getting one, but now that I’m reading about it here I’m taking it as a reminder from the universe.
Yess, I love carrying around rocks even though they probably don’t do anything ;) I keep a pretty chunk of amethyst in my coat pocket. Apparently it helps get rid of negative energy and anxiety, so I’m all about it.
I’m with you, Caroline. I carry a little Tiger’s Eye stone with me to channel Durga.
Even though I (almost) always do really well, I get REALLY nervous and anxious for days ahead of presentations and meetings, so I like to have it in my pocket. The reminder is indeed magic.
Thanks for introducing me to Killing Eve! I love Sandra Oh! I just finished Money Heist (La Casa de Papel) and it was AMAZING! The best thing I’ve seen on netflix i think. Highly recommended!
On that note, I’m honestly not a believer in the “healing power” of crystals, but I *am* a believer in the healing power of good ol’ healthy reminders. My thought patterns have not been the best recently, and I’m on a mission to establish simple, tangible nudges towards bettering my relationship to myself.
This particular crystal came from Namaste Bookshop on 14th Street in Manhattan. There’s also a pretty wide selection on Etsy.
Do you just carry it around in your pocket/purse?
Ohh, I love anything that can be compared to Lorrie Moore! Adding this book to the list!
The Wisdom of the Gemstone Guardians, by Michael Katz. It is out there and probably unrelatable for a scientist but it will give you a basic understanding of the principles.
Jo, I love how open and positive you are to life, been looking to your blog for many years for the beauty, funny, commonsense, and poignent, and always with a humble vibe. You bring a good community together, which is what we so need these days.
I like your voice Caroline. You are fun to read.
I concur hardheartedly! Caroline – your love for literature, language, and LIFE come through beautifully in your words and images. I feel lucky to get to “know” you through A Cup of Jo!
Chrysocolla is also wise women stone! It’s mean to empower your feminine energies and connect you the Goddess! Something also to note about crystals in general is they can carry energy, so don’t forget to cleanse them from time to time. I prefer cleansing them in the full moon (you just leave them out over night) but here are some you can wash or cleanse with other stone. Welcome to the witchy world Caroline!
I was on the fence about Killing Eve but I had NO IDEA it was created by Phoebe Waller-Bridge! I am 100% in. I’m obsessed with her and everything she does (if you haven’t already watched Crashing on Netflix – her weird and hilarious British dramedy – watch it right now).
100% agree! Want to check out Killing Eve now.
I had little interest in seeing Solo but then heard PWB is the voice of Lando’s (Donald Glover) drone and now I have to see it. Loved Crashing. Also Fleabag.
Ah! I watched Fleabag based on a recommendation from COJ, I believe – and it was the best thing I think I’ve ever seen. Will check this out!
I meant DROID, not drone. hee hee! This just goes to show how much I really know about Star Wars.
Wow. I couldn’t love and respect your self care plan more. #PhoeBAE forever.
Where can I stream Killing Eve?
Looks like you can stream it on Amazon ($20 for the season), or stream it through BBC America, if you sign in with your cable provider. We don’t have cable at our house so hoping maybe it will be available through Netflix at some point.
I love Killing Eve! I hope the future of entertainment looks more like this. More complex, funny, terrifying female characters, please.
Killing Eve has been my favorite thing on TV this year (aside from The Americans) and I will never, ever get enough of Jodie Comer’s facial expressions and accents and amazing wardrobe and highly entertaining ways of assassinating people. Can’t. Get. Enough. Sandra Oh is incredible, too. Gaahhh, this show!!
I am obsessed with Killing Eve! The finale just aired, and I felt sad finishing it. It’s exciting to watch – there are levels of complexity that I firmly believe are the result of womanly energy. What I want from women in media now is to feel less alone by seeing them be less polished. Sandra Oh comes across as a mess sometimes – awkwardly holding a coat, trying to quietly eat a croissant in one of those crinkly bags, needing to get a hotel razor because she forgot one and is wearing a sleeveless dress… it feels so validating and makes me root for her more. This show nails it, while still being an exhilarating spy drama. It’s absolutely worth watching and I’m certain that in a few months I’ll watch the whole thing again, feeling just as engaged as the first time.