It's true....I used to be a snocker (a snuggie mocker), and really at the heart of it, I still am.
Then, there was the day my snuggie saved my life.
You just think I'm exaggerating.
We were in Lubbock. Visiting. About this time last year (can you imagine the past year without me here? well, just thank my Snuggie you don't have to). On a Saturday morning, Kyle had a coffee meeting with a friend, my dad had a previous commitment and so I could sleep in, my mom decided to uphold Kyle's donut date with Laura Kate. The perfect plan......everyone else accommodating my sleeping needs. A beautiful, beautiful, plan.
We just forgot to factor in one thing: my parents and my extremely needy dogs. That morning (and that morning alone) did I decide to be cat person. You see, cats will curl up on your chest or snuggle up right beside you and start purring. Dogs have fingernails that make noise on the hardwood floor as they run to your sleeping bedside the moment they realize you are the only warm body in the house. Dogs have loud, playful, annoying growls as they play with each other on the floor right by your head. Then they decide that's not annoying enough and they start whining by your head when they decide they need to go to the bathroom (gah, curse nature! couldn't they wait an hour???). After 15 minutes of extreme irritation, I decided to end the madness by taking them outside.
It was early. 7:20 in the AM kind of early (yes, that's early on my sleep-in day....and every other day). I didn't know where my shoes were on my way out the door, so by the fate of the only God in heaven, I grabbed my snuggie because I knew it was 3o going on negative 20 degrees outside and I didn't want to freeze while I waited for the dogs to do their business before they ran back inside.
It just so happens that my Sookie and my mom's Gracie cannot be outside together for longer than 2 minutes before they decide to participate in mischief like running down the block away from the warm cozy house. So after they do their business and I run halfway down the block to catch them, I throw them inside, slam the door shut and wait for Gabbi to finish her business. She is always careful about where she delicately places her extriments. Did I mention how cold it was? I could see my breath, my fingers and toes turned instantly blue and I was shaking and shivering uncontrollably. FINALLY, Gabbi ran up the stairs and wagged her tail impatiently, as if to say, what are we wait for? I pushed down on the door handle, pushed and to no avail, realized I was locked out. LOCKED OUT OF THE WARM AND COZY!
I tiptoed across the frozen lawn, dog in my arms, as quickly as I could to the back gate praying the whole time it was unlocked and that someone had left the back door unlocked. Neither happened to be true. Very unfortunately, I tiptoed back to the front porch where I proceeded to sit on the mat on top of the frozen cement porch. I wrapped the snuggie around my feet and hands, pulled the dog on top of my lap for warmth and buried my head inside the snuggie. Sometime in the 20 minutes I was waiting for someone to arrive, I started thinking about my warm cozy bed and I start to cry like a blubbering idiot inside my snuggie. I was cold. I was sleepy. And I was a cat person (that day only).
Finally, my mom pulled up with my 18 month old, happy as could be after delighting in donuts, and I cried at her some ridiculous explanation to my half frozen body sitting on her front porch with frozen tears on my cheeks. After she unlocked the door,I marched inside, into my room, shut the door with the dogs on the OTHER side, and cried myself to sleep.
The other side of this story is what would have happened to me if I didn't grab the snuggie on my way out the door? Would I be whole frozen, not just half? I can only imagine how many of my fingers and toes would have survived the frost bite without the snuggie.